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tvuniverse · 28 days

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Listen i just want to preface this by saying I don't even personally hate Tommy, but that's not really the point i want to make so here goes nothing.

The way a lot of people act as if it's impossible to dislike him because the characters have moved on so so should we, right? and that's the thing right here, as poc we're always being told to move on. We can't express our feelings, we can't hold grudges, we can't complain about issues without making it something more than it is, we always have to just... move on.

I know people are going to say it's just a show, it's not that serious, but the issues it touches on and the way fandom speaks on those issues are.

I've seen a lot of comparisons between Tommy and other mains, how each of them are flawed and have screwed up one way or another, and you're right, but it's still unfair to compare him to them. We've seen each of the main characters experience guilt, or be ashamed of their action, we've seen them apologise, put in the work to actually grow, and they have. There's not enough time in an episode for us to see that for side characters. In this case, Tommy didn't do any of the above and that's normal, he was a plot device to show some very real societal issues, and especially what people of colour/women might go through in the workplace, and once he served his purpose he didn't get much more beyond a few scenes where it seemed like everything was fine between him and chim/hen. It would be more appropriate to compare him to the buckley parents, (who appeared in more or less the same amount of episodes) like if people suddendly started saying no one is allowed to hate them because they got their redemption, their kids more or less forgave them, they more or less tried to be better parents. And yet it's still not enough for a lot of people, because how they treated their children, the shit they've said to them, hits a little too close to home for a lot of people and so no matter what the show says or does, they'll still be mostly hated by the audience, and that's more than okay. But if margaret buckley is your favourite character than by all means be my guest. And listen, i love this show, it's all about hope, and it means everyone gets a redemption arc, as short as it is (sometimes even just a sentence lol), but we won't always be satisfied with these arcs, especially if they don't feel proportional to the hurt the characters may have caused to our mains, so we'll all have different reactions to them.

I swear liking a morally ambiguous/grey character says absolutely nothing about you, but making excuses for them, antagonising people who might dislike them (for good reasons) or acting like suddenly triggers don't exist for people, does say something about you. One of my favourite characters is literally the worst person ever, an actual bigot, but i won't ever write essays about why people are not allowed to dislike him actually because he's my babygirl.. i very much understand why people would.

All of this to say, everyone will have different opinions about Tommy. Some might love him, some will be completely neutral or at worst slightly uncomfortable/bothered by him, and some will straight up hate him, and all of these are fine. Live and let live, love whoever you want to love, and hate whoever you want to hate, but please stop trying to dictate how others should feel, i'm begging. And this really does go both ways.

#i never ever get involved in fandom discourse. ever #my blog is my safe space and so i just want to reblog some silly gifs of my silly little characters and move on about my day #but nothing gets to me more than being told to 'move on'#anyway i know the casual (and not so casual) racism is rampant in this fandom but boy has this week been hell #but just another week in this fandom i guess #(also i know some people hate him just because of buck/eddie and this is a whole other discourse i won't get into)#anti tommy kinard #not really but just in case #fandom discourse #also i said dehumanisation because that's what he did to chimney #acting like people don't exist until they do something that's beneficial to you and that's when you'll finally treat them as human beings #that shit hurts like crazy but it doesn't get talked about enough tbh #and that's also kind of why i think it's hard to know if he's really Grown or if it's just a case of 'these people are the exception'#and we can't really know until we actually see him interact with other minorities #but that's just my opinion #also i know we're all tired of this discourse and i'm sorry to bring it back but every day i've opened this app and saw something about it #and closed it right up lmao #i just needed to get this off my chest once and for all #i'll go back to never getting involved in fandom discourse again #anyhoo #i'll probably delete this at some point knowing myself

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moe-broey · 2 months

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ROSADO IN FEH. ASKR SIBLINGS FOR FORGING BONDS. RED ALERT RED ALERT HUGE EVENT INCOMING

#feh #GOD i'm like. nervous about it tbh LMFAO PLEASE FEH TREAT ROSADO RIGHT.......................#i am DYING to see their fbs though i AM DYING. sharena and rosado are gonna get along SO WELL #and tbh i think alfonse would be niceys to rosado. they just need one deep down to earth convo and alfonse is completely in their corner #also what if we get artist convos. both alfonse and sharena CAN draw. we NEED to bring that back #tbh i think there's A LOT of directions they can take here AND. I JUST HOPE. IT'S EVERYTHING I COULD EVER DREAM OF. MAYBE MORE #rosado #fe alfonse #sharena

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vonlipvig · 2 months

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I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL

#black mirror #my fave ep......but like do we NEED this? :/#i dont think black mirror need sequels tbh. thats part of the charm.#and im annoyed everything NEEDS a continuation #and like are they bringing jesse plemons back? cause like he's awesome but like??? he's HOPEFULLY DEAD #idk.....wary.....but i love BM i will be watching lmao #according to jules

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wandaxpietro · 6 months

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speaking out of pure delusion bcuz it simply is not going to happen innit but can you guys imagine how fucking funny the comicbook social media breakdown would be if scarletsilver went canon again in the new ultimate universe

#marvel come on it would be hilarious. you kinda gotta do it for the bit tbh #manifesting hard actually.#liiike the general public perception of the twins has gone from 'incest twins' due to ultimate to the mcu and i think #we should bring the first one back #also we kinda need a new wave of 'did you know p and w fucked in the comics?' allegations #where non comic readers genuinely think it happened in the main universe. it would be so funny.#txt #actually yknow what i am tagging this #maxicest #scarletsilver

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patchw0rk-quilt · 5 months

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we genuinely unironically need to bring back calling people squares because there are so many people out there who are total squares

#i'm talking about beatnik slang btw #tbh we need to bring back more beatnik slang in general it'd make things more interesting #writing in my diary 📔

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chuu-huahua · 11 months

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hi guys have some RANDOM SOUKOKU HEADCANNONS because i’m procrastinating my holiday homework lol (like i genuinely can’t bring myself to do it so i’ll just uh, cram it all before school actually starts)

contrary to popular belief, dazai is actually the good cook between the two of them :) chuuya burned down the entire kitchen once when he tried to make rice, so dazai removed his kitchen-entering privileges. dazai can actually cook well, he just enjoys seeing the shocked/scared faces of the people he serves his food to when he makes it nasty

dazai replaced their couch with a foldable couch bed because whenever he makes chuuya mad, he gets sent to sleep on the couch, and their old one was uncomfortable and not big enough for his lanky ass legs

chuuya once thought dazai was a burglar when he was drunk and smacked him in the face with a frying pan, which broke dazai’s nose. he (chuuya) cried while apologising when he sobered up

they have movie marathon nights, except they speedrun movies separately and fight to see how many more movies they can watch than the other before the clock strikes 7:00am and dazai has to go to work

when dazai did the “that’s what i love about you!” thing to chuuya when they were younger, chuuya actually wanted to punch dazai because he was so flustered. he actually went back to his room to punch his pillow and scream into it about how much he liked dazai back and how he messed up his response

chuuya likes it when dazai drives, because it’s so adrenaline inducing and it’s funny to see the looks on civilian’s faces when they speed pass them and almost crash into the lamp post

dazai’s home wallpaper is a picture of chuuya drooling in his sleep, and chuuya’s one is of dazai screaming and running away from a dog

i feel like they would both be really good at styling hair and doing makeup from kouyou’s lessons and all the infiltration missions they have to go on... although, i can picture chuuya trying to pry a bite of lipstick out of dazai’s mouth because he read the contents and tried to commit suicide by eating it lol

they have a built in wine cellar in their house (inspo from my aunt’s house lol. she has a fucking wine cellar in there stock full of expensive alcohol and there’s even a catalogue) and it’s super super cold. they have two silly fuzzy pairs of slippers, one is crab designed and the other is slug designed lol

yes ig that’s all for now :D

#lei writes! ଘ(|lI.‸.)#i genuinely can't bring myself to do my work idk why #and exams are on the second week of the term aksjdhajdhka #and hcl oral??! :(((#ahhh this school is killing me but i don't wanna transfer #i worked so hard to get in here and i'm like #suffering more than my friends in other schools for some reason #like i get that we don't need to take o levels like the other schools but like??#why is our curriculum so fucked up??#why is our teaching system so messy??#bro the teachers aren't even actually teaching anymore tbh they just give us the work to figure out on our own #ahhhh anyways i need to get back to studying or smth #bungou stray dogs #bsd #soukoku #dazai x chuuya #dazai #chuuya

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obrother1976 · 4 months

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In all seriousness though I think I really have a hard time understanding the appeal of gay truthing with celebrities who aren't either old or dead, both in terms of ethics and plausibility. And then of course there's the biggest issue of people who believe they can't be wrong or harass the subject directly. That said I do think that 70s John would get into RPF

reallll. famous ppl r too normal rn, thats the problem. like who gaf if famous person 1 and famous person 2 fuck behind the scenes if theyre both the most uninteresting bland ppl imaginable. like wheres the drama.. wheres the decades long history.. where r the drug fuelled breakdowns..

also so true he would be. rip john lennon u wouldve loved two of us (2000)

#i feel like the only rpf ppl that gaf about young alive ppl that actually have a point r sports rpf ppl. bc they can just project whatever #and go crazy w it. and i respect that. the webweaves alone.. theyre on a mclennon level of insane so im on their side #we need to bring back famous ppl living in one big house and doing drugs tbh #they need their chances at having a helmson dead ringers heroin moment #ask

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girl-bateman · 7 months

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Some days I'm pretty content with my childhood other days I'm ripping my hair out because it just doesn't add up !! someone is hiding things from me !! I don't trust anyone !!

#im studying 'family as a psycosocial context' rn and its been pretty interesting!#and i was talking to my mom an article with an evolutionary perspective #bc we've talked before abt how this area of psychology can come off as dismissive abt socioeconomic factors & put unfair pressure on mothers #so i brought it up bc the paper didnt define parenting in terms of good/bad which was interesting !#but then at the end i said something abt 'the article talks abt abuse which obviously isnt relevant for me'#and she wouldnt answer me but her eyes were all watery and weird and I DONT LIKE THAT #like girl 😟 i was coming to terms with the occasional childhood neglect but abuse ? dont even tell me that bc what #like i know things werent perfect for me growing up but i hate how weird my mom is abt everything #and she starts crying if we get too much into it so i feel a little bad bringing it up #i also feel like when i do get new information abt something in my past it always makes me have a crisis #so maybe its just not worth it ?#bc i do feel like im in a rly good place rn and i dont need to know if i was 'abused' whatever that means #what i do know is bad enough and makes me sad as it is #i think the reason i get so paranoid abt it is because i have trouble remembering the stuff that has been told to me #and some vague things i do remember have been refuted ? so i cant rly trust my own memory #but idk if i can trust anyone else either #i mean i do trust my mom generally but shes so emotional and guilt-prone that im not sure what to believe #what i do know for sure is that there is a lot shes holding back in terms of what shes told me #which i dint love tbh #personal

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 3 months

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Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?

#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want #when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving #and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)'#so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will #both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this #im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen #i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me #i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together)#everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking #because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore #so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit #last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said #'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me'#and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august #im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will #its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not #after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig #i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral #i wonder if any of them would come to mine

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toasteaa · 9 days

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Honestly? Been feeling a little lonely today ngl

#vent.tea #I didn't want to say anything about this tbh because everything has been mostly normal but #It's nothing on here and really all irl stuff because my fiancè and I were supposed to be hanging out since I was busy yesterday #And we started hanging out but then he got a text and got on his computer for something and kinda just left me alone for an hour or so #and I was trying to not be upset over it because I know he wanted to work on programming but it was the fact that we were hanging out #and he just hardlocked on his programming and then came back out with a headache.#And this happens so often nowadays and he feels bad afterwards but I never want to pull him away from it #because then he'll just be on discord talking about programming with his friends the whole time we're hanging out.#And I get it. There are times me and my friends spend all day talking but he's made comments about me being on my phone #so I thought. You know. He'd try a little harder to not get pulled into it when we promised we'd hang out together.#Ugh I'm sorry. I normally don't talk about this kind of stuff and I never like bringing my irl sad emotions onto this blog but.#I don't know. Just that gross lonely feeling that's kinda settled on me.#I'll be okay eventually. Convince myself to draw or write something. That does usually cheer me up tbh.#I'll delete this later. Just needed an outlet to get these feelings out.

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taegularities · 9 months

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...

#i feel so insecure here sometimes.. like i know you guys see that too #like ill post smth or ask smth and then feel discouraged when i don't get a response #and then i feel so stupid.. but ive been realising how so many here have been feeling that way #bc tumblr changed so much and so many ppl left and every author and creator is suddenly feeling insecure about themselves #and thinking it's their fault or that their content isn't good anymore #anyways thank you to everyone who's still here and supporting my stuff.. whenever i feel down you guys show me that my work's still #worth consuming #and that im appreciated here as a person too #@ mutuals.. i think to bring back a bit of what tumblr used to be we need to support each other too #bc :( i love my mutuals but i also noticed that only a v small number of ppl signal boosts each other's stuff or supports one another #like only a few of my moots read my stuff or talk to me at all and sometimes it gets so lonely #but im one of those who should actively make an effort to support moots too!!#some blogs support all their moots and im like ugh that's so nice #or maybe it's me and you guys just don't like me LOL no but seriously #we don't even have to read each other's stuff i think.. even boosting fics goes a long way tbh #it'd be so nice if we could do this for each other.. yk? gotta bring back the 2021 community feel fr i miss it #ugh so many ppl left lol we're all we've got y'all!!#tdl maybe

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 3 months

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imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here

i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual

#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?)#bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad #i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off #i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn'#bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding #and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him)#and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp #so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random #7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like #being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have #at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory #that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know #meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane #I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do #the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw #and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐#and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc #and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us'#&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night #if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?'#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)#i'm schizophrenic 🤷‍♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that #you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy #and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou #i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and #'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm.#and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO)#and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa?????#right when i get back into him???#it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy

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jaaklops · 4 months

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sometimes i think about my old main interests and its like “wow i really thought i’d be there forever” but its like one day i just stopped being into the thing. and i was thinking about that and like thinking about how you grow through your interests and those periods in between when you aren’t really enthralled with anything. and you can look back on those things and even when you don’t feel the same way about it as you did then you can have those fond happy memories of it and how you just had fun with what there was and all that. and i just think that’s really nice

#rory’s rambles #no idea what sparked this tbh #honestly fandom used to be such a different place #in both good and bad ways #we need to bring back some of the good aspects of it honestly #i just think that we as a society would benefit from that

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kyouka-supremacy · 2 years

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what are your opinions on ch14? its one of my fav chapters tbqh so im curious to know why u didnt like it initially and what changed

Thank you for this question! Writing down your thoughts is always fun eheh. Predictable negativity on bsd storytelling and Higuchi characterization under the cut, so please don't read if that's something possible to ruin your mood!!

So here's the thing. We need a bit of context first. Okay, you might know I'm not a big fan of bsd's poor female characters writing in general. My first contact with chapter 14 was when I was watching the bsd anime for the first time. Higuchi is introduced as this woman who is very cool!!! She lured the main character into a trap, pulled out these massive riffles and started shooting everywhere. It was nice. Then, she's badly mistreated by Akutagawa, and it's gross; Higuchi's relationship with Akutagawa is so fucked up. And then the following episode 11 (that is the corresponding of chapter 14) is all about it, about Higuchi's fucked up relationship with Akutagawa, but like... Romanticizing it? Saying it's good for this woman to stay at her work place where she's made miserable on daily basis?

What's most distasteful isn't the beating up itself from Akutagawa, although that is sure to leave a very bitter taste (after all, as a shonen-ish series, violence is nothing out of the norm); what's highly disturbing is the clear unbalance of power between Higuchi and Akutagawa, or how Higuchi is constantly depicted as being obsessed with Akutagawa while Akutagawa is openly violent with her. And the way he reprimands her! And the way she's clearly distraught at his words- not to mention the countless times it's shown how emotionally hurt she was by him. This kind of stuff is depressing. Because like!! What if we didn't romanticize men hitting their female partners!!!!! The bar is *that* low!!!!!!

And Higuchi is portrayed as being obsessed with Akutagawa. She was willing to die trying to save him, even being aware she alone couldn't do anything to win over an enemy organization... Because apparently dying trying to save him would be better than living without him? Girl, you deserve so much better. The “it's not easy to leave the Port Mafia, but it's not impossible. I've thought about it many times. Yet I didn't, because... ” sentence is sorta implied to refer to the fact that she didn't leave the Port Mafia because she was in love with Akutagawa (Ryuunosuke), right? I interpreted it that way when I first watched the anime, and I still believe it's the phrase's main implication– also because the actual closing sentence “because it's my job” doesn't make any sense, as she's basically saying “I'm not leaving my job because it's my job”; it's evident there's a deeper meaning to it hinting to Higuchi having romantic feelings for Akutagawa (unless... the circular phrase is used to metaphorically express how she's hopelessly stuck in a toxic work environment, but I can hardly imagine the author going such lengths to express a concept they visibly have no interest in developing). Point is, the fact that she's basically saying she's willing to keep working for a job that makes her allegedly unhappy just because she loves a man is... Not great. Besides, Higuchi going “it's my job” at Akutagawa after he asked her sorry like???? Now, after ten months of being into bsd, I can find it vaguely cute, but you can bet the first time I watched it I was like. bestie, beloved, light of my life, your job can NOT be to endure abuse after abuse from your coworker. Get yourself a new job asap, and feel free to deck Akutagawa too while you're at it.

What's nasty about Akutagawa beating Higuchi again isn't the beating itself, as much as Higuchi being obsessed with Akutagawa despite of it, and their whole dynamic never being framed as negative. It would be one thing if the whole situation was framed as toxic but... It's very much not. It's not like the reader is lead to despise Akutagawa for what he does, it's just something that's there. The narrative doesn't look like it's going in a direction of Higuchi emancipating herself either, but rather learning to roll with the abuse thanks to fleeting rewards of acknowledgement which is, once again, gross. It's gross to display a model of woman who would stay in a work place that constantly mistreats and disrespects her because it's worth her abusive crush telling her “I'm sorry” once every blue moon. Hell yeah you are sorry Akutagawa! If Higuchi had chosen to cut off his life support right there I wouldn't find it hard not to consider it rightful and legit on her side. The way they handle Higuchi's character is gloriously catastrophic and there's maybe not a better example of how the author doesn't know how to write women, has literally no clue on... The fact that women are p e o p l e and any sane person would leave such a toxic environment at the first chance. But of course they would rather think any woman would stay stuck with a terrible job if it's for a handsome, brooding guy (bruh??? Bruh???????? Sorta crying right now sorry)

Then again, the issue isn't even the relationship being toxic itself– I mean, it sucks for Higuchi, but one can decide to portray a toxic relationship in fiction. The issue is that it's evidently not intended to be perceived as toxic. Nobody ever sides with Higuchi, or voices the fact that she's evidently being abused; Higuchi easily forgives Akutagawa when he apologizes (it doesn't even count as forgiving because she never was even angry or frustrated at him to begin with what the fuck). Akutagawa hitting Higuchi is even used as a gag and like. What the fuck. Who in the world could ever find it funny. What the fuck.

Tbh when I entered the fandom I was very surprised to find out the cycle of abuse was typically framed like this:

Mori → Dazai → Akutagawa → Kyouka

when after watching the anime I definitely had an idea more of the sorts of:

(Mori) → Dazai → Akutagawa → Higuchi

(Very side note but at this point Mori towards Dazai barely counts as abuse, like what did he even ever do to him? Emotional abuse barely stands too since Dazai is, on admission of Mori himself, extremely hard to manipulate)

I feel like Higuchi and Akutagawa's relationship mirrors a lot what used to be Akutagawa's relationship with Dazai when Dazai was still in the pm, especially in the way both Higuchi and Akutagawa are obsessed with their own senpai and gaining his approval. And honestly, just as I am a firm supporter of Akutagawa growing out of his infatuation for Dazai and never forgiving him for what he's done to him, I also believe Akutagawa doesn't deserve Higuchi's forgiveness and could rot in hell as much as I care (joking, but also, don't hurt Higuchi and then expect to have my sympathy).

Plus, THE WHOLE “this female leader becomes useless and powerless as soon as her talented partner is out of the game” the episode carries through like NNNNGGGHHH biting biting chewing wood then why did you even make her leader in the first place???? Like what's the point???????? The rethoric that women are literally useless without a man?????????? I get that this chapter came out around 2013 but like. C'mon. So did Kill la Kill and Psycho-Pass. C'mon. (Also the “we won't recognize the legitimacy of this woman's authority until she demonstrates she's willing to die / throws herself in a suicide mission” but that's a whole different category of “saving other people's lives gives me permission to keep living” “people can't live unless someone tells them ‘it's okay to go on’ ” bsd fucked up morals this post is already too long to get into)

But like (and here starts the nicer section): time has passed since I watched the episode and read the chapter. I reluctantly grew fonder of both Akutagawa and Higuchi. And despite the fact that everything I've said still stands... Akutagawa did say sorry. We never saw him interact with Higuchi after that, which leaves space to hope he's changed in the way he behaves with her (more likely author has realized how fucked up and nasty the whole thing was and opted to never show them interact again, but eh). And while Akutagawa saying sorry didn't effect me at all when I first watched it, because what he did to Higuchi is unforgivable (that much I still believe)... He still apologized. When I first watched the episode, I didn't care the slightest about Akutagawa– besides despising him for how he treated Higuchi, of course. But as the story unwraps itself, it's hard not to grow sympathetic of him, especially after learning about the Dark Era events / the Heartless Cur events / seeing him act in the Moby Dick fight arc too to an extent. I still firmly believe Higuchi shouldn't forgive him, and I don't either for what he's done to her, but as a reader I at least now have an explanation to why he acted that way towards her, and I can understand him. I can now catch more layers to him saying sorry, the effort it must have took him, the admission of having been wrong (which is a huge thing, like, what other character in this series has ever admitted of being wrong? So many characters believing they're infallible), the real intention of making amends and learn from his mistakes which is... Admittedly nice. I mean, character development is great. Everyone is weak for character development, and Akutagawa's is a huge one. What were before words I would have forcibly shoved back in his throat are now reluctantly heartwarming, because they show an Akutagawa who's willing to change and become a better person. But from Higuchi's point of view, that still doesn't change how much harm and suffering he caused her, you know? That doesn't change the fact Higuchi should never forgive him for what he's done to her, just like Akutagawa is entitled to never forgive Dazai for all the abuse he was perpetrator of. I just overall think one's redemption does require amends to be made, but can't demand forgiveness. Akutagawa's step of apologizing is important and necessary for him to make amends and start to become a better person; but that does not and never will entitle him to Higuchi's forgiveness. I now like that scene some more because it's a big first display of development for Akutagawa's character, and because despite the bad writing I could never dislike Higuchi; I like it because I like to imagine that being a moment of growth for both of them, if I make myself forcibly forget about their displeasing canon characterization. I like it because I now like both characters and, despite rationally thinking they're most likely better off separate ways, it still compells me to imagine them being happy and in good terms together. I like it because Higuchi in Harukawa's art style is so freaking pretty

Mandatory tl;dr: I don't like the chapter because it perpetuates and romanticizes the rethoric of women being destined to be made miserable by a man their whole lives with no chances of getting out, as well as displaying a huge systematic unbalance in Higuchi and Akutagawa's relationship with Higuchi being constantly made weaker and dependent; I like it more now because I got attached to Higuchi and Akutagawa, because it shows a growth of Akutagawa and because I wouldn't be able to hate Higuchi no matter what.

Dear Op‚ you said chapter 14 was one of your favorite chapters so you've probably thought about it longer and way more thoroughly than me‚ and it's possible that after reading this there wasn't a single thing you agreed with. And that's okay!! I hope reading this made you view the chapter from a new perspective even if you ultimately disagree with my takes.

#C'mon like. I love my girl Higuchi. But I love her because she's victim of such awful writing‚ I can't bring myself to hate her.#I love her because every day I wake up and actively tell myself–#“a man's awful writing of female characters won't ever be enough to make me hate a woman”. So like. Yeah #ichiyō higuchi #ryūnosuke akutagawa #bsd #bungou stray dogs #I remember me watching episode x with my friend and she commented “Higuchi? She's such a [sottona]”#which is to say bottom in a derisory‚ derogative way and I was like... Girl you need help ;;;;#Did we seriously become so desensibilized to abuse we can now see it as a joke of some kind? Find it funny? It's depressing.#Idk I guess their dynamics would have been bearable despite the unbalance of power if only they had the minimum decency of–#not having Akutagawa hit Higuchi but like... That's beyond any forgiveness for me sorry very much not sorry.#Seeing it happen repetedly was disgusting for me #There's even a big big factor of cultural context playing a role.#There *is* a long existing history of men abusing women who live with the illusion they could be loved back and it's... Yeah just. Lets not #bsd negativity #people asks me stuff #It's just. It really all goes back to the unbalance of power tbh.#Why is it always the cool brooding overpowered male character with the useless no skill whiner female partner. Just :///#It's no wonder I like sskk so much seriously– because I know at any point they could beat each other's ass.#I just think equality is important in a relationship‚ any kind of relationship?#I've been writing this for three days btw I couldn't stop adding paragraphs 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️#I've talked with my landlord and now at 17:45 I'm FINALLY going to take my nap goodnight #bsd ch 14

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