#we’re all going forward

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

The Mountain Goats, “Heel Turn 2” // Topaz Winters, “battlefield” // Lilith Kerr (me) // The Mountain Goats, “This Year” // e.e. cummings // Tumblr user @girlroach // Angus & Julia Stone, “Make it Out Alive” // Gang of Youths, “Achilles Come Down” // Gloria Gaynor, “I Will Survive” // Mary Oliver // Dylan Thomas, “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night” // Richard Siken, “Snow and Dirty Rain” // Lilith Kerr (me) // Lilith Kerr (me), “rebirth” from unloving the knife (2023) // Gwendolyn Brooks, “To the Young Who Want to Die” // Lilith Kerr (me again; sorry, I was running out of material lmao) // Tumblr user @daisies-on-a-cup // The Mountain Goats, “Amy aka Spent Gladiator 1”

#hopepunk #we’re all going forward #none of us are going back #hopepunk webweaving #web weaving #poetry web weaving #poetry webbing #quote webbing #words words words #words and stuff #word webbing #word webs #word web #a hopeful future #brutal teeth gritted resilient angry optimism #poetry #pretty words #the mountain goats #tmg #richard siken #gloria gaynor #mary oliver #word weaving #poems and fragments #quotes #words n quotes #hopeposting #gritted teeth optimism

[goldensunset]

ok while i think i speak for everyone when i say khml better not go ‘surprise! the legendary keyblade master that eraqus is descended from was actually ephemer as well, not brain!’ for a lot of reasons at the same time it’s kinda interesting to think of how different eraqus and brain are. brain is calm and collected and never, ever jumps to conclusions. he pulls out his weapon only once and that’s only after a thorough interrogation of his enemy to be sure he knows what he’s doing. he stared a primordial darkness in the face and had a whole conversation with it and didn’t even flinch. eraqus would’ve peed his pants. eraqus would’ve run away or tried to slash at it in vain without a second thought. eraqus feels the need to fight vidar vala and vali just to blow off steam. not saying ephemer would’ve done something as wrathful and irrational as that but he’s definitely one of the most impulsive of the union leaders. he and eraqus both have that golden retriever energy

#idk! maybe brain married into ephemer’s lineage #maybe brain’s physical genetics are just crazy strong but nothing else of his got passed down #kingdom hearts #khdr #khml #khux #we’re getting into that era of tagging all three games on a post #because let’s face it going forward they are going to be very heavily intertwined and you’ll have to understand one to understand them all #mine: kh #kh brain #eraqus #ephemer #also i suspect eraqus reads at a fourth grade level <— didn’t want to put that in the post but wanted to say it

[pendraegon]

why is pete wentz important to me?? like him, i was a non white kid who grew up in a very white neighborhood in the chicagoland area and it was exhausting and isolating and so so so lonely it could make your teeth hurt. like him, i’m bipolar and no one has ever quite gotten close to describing what my highs and lows are like, but he’s the only one who has gotten close. (do you know what it's like being so so so manic and you know you're not okay and everything rushes around you and you feel like you're on top of the world but you know it's all a lie? an illusion? do you know what it feels like to plummet down so so so so deep and dark and there's nothing but you and that gaping ache inside of you, reminding you just how hollow and fake you are?) like him, i grew up enthralled and obsessed with rock, punk, the hardcore scene of chicago, and there was nothing and no one there for people like me and people who looked like me in a place and sound that i loved more than anything on earth. i saw him reflected in me and in the most non creepy parasocial way possible, he has been one of the most incredible influences of my life. maybe even one of the possible sunshines of my lifetime for all he is still a stranger to me, and i to him.

#for legal reasons as a joke — we’re also both bi. #but he means the WORLD to me. forever and always. #do NOT try to come at me with pete wentz slander i will kill you. sorry for not shutting up about this. im just incredibly annoyed. #he's not infallible. he's made so many mistakes in his life. and im not excusing any of them but you know #i wonder why pete gets SO much virulent hate and always has. might be the racism and ableism. but who knows. not me! #anyways stream mania by american rock band fall out boy (2018). legit life changing fucking album. also stream #their newest album so much (for) stardust. actually stream all their albums they're all so so so so good. i don't know who i'd be or where #i'd be without em. fall out boy forever and ever<3 fall out boy is for lovers<3 #also one last thing: you don't need to like him! you don't need to like fob either! it's just so so so wild the way misinfo about pete #specifically still exists. in fucking 2023. like get a fucking grip babes i was deep in those fucking forums in 2008 i know what's up. #okay. i hope you guys are ready im going to spam patrick images i think. what can i say. i miss them without a concert to look forward to.

[arthur-r]

hello new self portrait just dropped which means this is officially what i look like now

#i have glasses now!!!! i’m not very good at drawing them but i sure have them on my face at all times shdhdf #and i recently started growing out my hair!!!! my distinctive bowl cut had a good run but i’m officially moving forward #i’ve also started exaggerating my big droopy sad eyelashes a LOT in pictures lately it’s part of my core identity now or something #(that’s not true shdhdf but i think my face knew about my puppydog destiny long ago and gave me puppydog eyes) #anyway i just haven’t drew anything in forever like i think i’ve drew four things that weren’t JUST notebook doodling. all this school year #(and one of those was vent art on paper and the other one was coloring with my little sister. so i’ve drew two things on ibispaint at all) #anyway i think my glasses suit me really good and i’m also really excited i can see the world really good now #i still have some vision problems from POTS that aren’t fixed but like. i can see detail in brick walls now and i’m obsessed #house fucker behavior i’m so sorry shdhdhdff (THIS IS A JOKE AND LIE. I DONT FUCK HOUSES) #(and i’m apparently a house m.d. kinnie so i wouldn’t fuck him EITHER cause we’re the same person i could never) #ANYWAYS i can see well finally and that’s good. and in conclusion i’m real tired and should go to bed #i took my meds at 9:30 then started drawing at 10 finished at 11:30 #and now it’s midnight and i’m long overdue to be asleep already. so goodnight world!!!! #i have a sleepover tomorrow night which is very exciting. and also work and homework as usual shdhdf #but in the meantime i get to sleep. for up to 12 hours!!!! here’s hoping #ok anyway!!!! goodnight!!!! #P.S. text or call if you need anything!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later (probably)

[toffyrats]

it’s finally starting to settle in that christmas is in 3 fucking days

#like. it doesnt even feel like winter #maybe i’m js getting older but last i checked i was counting down the hours and it was getting hard to sleep at night #it was a “its finally cold out! my favorite time of year! we’re off on break! christmas is almost here!” #n now its a “oh right christmas. free stuff” #my parents apparently have something big planned for my 18th this year and i can’t bring myself to even look forward to it? #like. yeah. my fucking eighteenth birthday is in like a week #and the start of a new year is less of a celebration and more of a sigh of relief #its more of a “yippee. another year. at least it’s a fresh start.” #i think this is the 2020 effect #2020 was 4 years ago guys. that is absolutely insane #its not even nostalgia it’s just “wow. okay.” #its like getting punched in the gut yk #2020 was the last year the holidays felt right. #now my whole life feels like a blur and i cannot believe it was four whole years ago #and now we’re entering 2024 with nothing but see you again by tyler the creator and a few loose hopes #the election is this year #maybe things will fix themselves and go back to normal #thats all ive ever wanted since 2020 ended. was for things to just be normal #after the masking mandates were lifted i felt like maybe they could #but im just kinda being rushed through life #and i wish it would just be normal.

[starbuck]

sometimes you’re so stressed you feel like you’re going to die and you feel like you can’t do anything right and are a complete fraud collapsing under the weight of everything you have to accomplish and then all of a sudden you come up with a cheap, easy, and innovative solution to a complex problem which can be implemented immediately and go “oh yeah, i AM a capable person, actually.”

#wild wild wild #i am SO spent mentally and emotionally - but we’re getting through it!!!!! #gonna maybe talk to my manager today about planning ahead for a little time off in April because i think i’ll calm down a ton #if i have a trip planned #nothing CRAZY of course… but something to break up the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA of it all #kinda looking forward to picking a place honestly… #i can go ANYWHERE i want #that feels good #and it’s true! #and everything will be okay

[fizzlehead]

smash to black end of series making me want to kill myself rn. imagine if this season had been good

#sorry im back at it again but it really could’ve been. it should’ve been good! it’s the last season it should’ve been good. #i’ve been looking forward to this for so long like obviously i never wanted rvd to end but I was so excited to see HOW they would end it. #and now we’re here and it’s literally not going to be good. because they’re still in the 50s in the last episode and even if they make it #back to the present in that very last episode there will not be enough time to salvage it. im sorry but it’s not going to be good. it’s the #end of the show and it’s gonna be unsatisfying and bad. and not good #sorry literally being suuuuch a bitch about it today. ive just been getting really down about it all recently. it’s fine #taylor xoxo

[dogduocatquartet]

ruben says SUMMER VACATION

#dogblr #dogs of tumblr #golden retriever #dog #petblr #Ruben #both me and my partner are working like crazy lately like we’re taking stretches of 9 or 12 or 17 (!!!) days of working IN A ROW #with one or two days off before doing it again #so we gave our blessing for this couple we know to take him to their family’s cabin for a week and a half #we’ve been getting daily updates and he’s having the time of his life he’s swimming he’s hiking hes getting attention from 5 people all day #i miss him a LOT but im also happy he gets to do this instead of just shitty neighborhood walks or to/from work or the train all the time #we try to do as much as we can and go on different routes all the time but it feels stale regardless and i resent the workload we now have #it’s temporary but still! i look forward to getting to do stuff like this with him again soon

[j-esbian]

see the problem with all of the puzzles in bg3 is like. sometimes the player (me) is stupid. and at least in a real dnd game you might get the dm to take pity on you

#the number of ‘’walkthroughs’’ that i’ve found that don’t actually. help #they tell you the map coordinates or whatever. what about if i cannot physically find what you’re talking about AT THOSE COORDINATES #or cannot figure out how to get to those coordinates (like when i spent three days trying to find karlach) #i’m in hell. actually still having a very hard time getting invested and like. not rly enjoying this game lmao #I AM PLAYING ON EXPLORER MODE AND SOMEONE GOES DOWN IN ALMOST EVERY COMBAT #also just. open world syndrome a little bit #too many quests that apparently i can’t actually move forward in yet. and too much open space #making me feel like. i need to go explore and grind when i just want to finish the quests i already have good lord #idrc about exploring every corner of the map. at this point??? #tried going into the mountain pass and it was like ‘hey you’re really low level. reconsider <3’ and im like #literally WHAT is there to do for me here #(it wanted me to go to the underdark. which i figured would progress the story so i was trying to find lae’zel’s crèche while we’re here??) #also on a non gameplay note #inSANE that all of the questlog items for daughter of darkness list her and i having interactions that We Did Not #got to act 2 and she’s like ‘hey i worship shar btw. this is supposed to be a reveal’ but like. the quest log told me that immediately?? #was i not supposed to read that?? she never told me that she wanted to join the justiciars. i never gave her the idol. #but it said all of those happened??? #maybe i’m biased bc my first save was trying to play as her but it REALLY feels like they’re pushing her to be the main character #like. kinda sucks how she’s the only companion you can check in with and say ‘how do you think we’re doing’ #and these fucking controls #why are the items hit boxes so weird. my cursor is a centimeter away and yet it still highlights something #the label isn’t actually next to the thing it’s describing so holding the alt key does nothing to show me where it is #god forbid you try to point at something through an open door #the fucking. camera angles. impossible to see what i’m doing or where i’m going because the trees and walls and shit keep getting in the way #straight up not having a good time #but this was a lot of money and i’ve heard it picks up #when tho #also the fact that i rly like wyll and he’s got like. nothing. id heard he has less content than other origins but #didn’t realize it was to a noticeable extent #maybe it’ll pick up and give him more to talk about once i save his dad. please god

[simgerale]

me when i don’t see a simgerale post 😔 IMY but i know ur busy <3

anna!!!! </3 i miss you too!! life is rolling along and i find that adulting requires more of my time than ever )^: that said, i’ll be near my pc for two weeks so maybe i’ll do some sim things?? we will see 💛💛

#ask #sublimesims #trying to have other hobbies is hard #i started reading and then promptly got overwhelmed by how it would take my time when I need to help cook and clean and adult #back in the day I would sim all day and my parents would make dinner and I’d just be chilling #now I’m like wait I am in charge of making sure I am fed now lol #sounds so silly and childish but it’s something my brain is trying to balance #with work and also doing laundry and also planning a wedding #btw we landed on a venue ! it’s just a family friend’s place #but the field didn’t work out so this should be nice #it has bathrooms and power so it’s already an upgrade lol #and my mom hired a photographer #and we’re looking into someone for catering rn #and I’ve got two wedding showers to go to already in august and September that people are kindly throwing for us #and this is just wedding stuff! we’ve also got to pack and move at the beginning of July #not looking forward to that #to moving yes to packing no #while I’m home these two weeks I’m going to be trying to pack and donate what I can #and I’m dog sitting / house sitting this week as well #(hoping a little pocket cash can help with wedding stuff lol) #and we have to figure out where we want to go for our honeymoon #we’re thinking italy because Japan is actually very pricey to visit in the winter #who knew #and also I’m like the state of the world could be in disarray for all we know #i've rambled far too long!!! sorry guys!! love you all

[pinkspiraling]

guess whose date cancelled on them :/

#i’m bummed cause i was really excited all day :/ like i was looking so forward to it #but i’m not emotionally wrecked. and we’re rescheduling. his reason was dumb tho #who wants to go on a date tonight ???? :) plsss #pink never shuts up

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

“A part of me still thinks we’ll find our way back around.”

I hope we do ❤️

I left the church a while ago and I don’t think I have any blessings I can actually give but the best one I can think of is that I hope you find a place for your art to go

#let me know if you ever make it and I’ll do the same #in a few years maybe I’ll find my way to the tiny seaside down where all I have to do is write #and maybe you’ll find your way to where your art needs to be #i left religion for a reason but I do miss it #and one of the things I miss the most is the sense of determinism #you’re just becoming the person you need to be to get where you’re meant to be in the end #I don’t regret being a lawyer #but a part of me hopes desperate that I’m a lawyer because the version of me that becomes an author needed to be a lawyer first #when I was little I used to bookmark moments in my mind #I’d be doing something random and think ‘I’m going to think about this in one five ten years’ for no other reason than I wanted to track #the passage of time. ten years seemed so far ahead looking forward but I knew it’d be small looking back and that always seemed silly to me #I remember sitting outside a dressing room on an unremarkable day for no other reason than I decided I wanted to remember it in a decade #anyway I don’t do that so much anymore #but I think I’ll remember this in five years #and I hope when I remember it we’re both where we want to be #I hope you find your way back around #I hope you’re happy where you go #and I hope you can create everything your heart wants to let out

[lee-kangin]

losing is so much easier when you can clearly see what ange is trying to build. playing out from the back against an elite press is difficult but we had a couple of instances like this where it almost worked. it’ll all come in time.

#tottenham #football #watching this i was so reassured. obviously it sucks we lost but … #just to see this and the way the lads are assuredly playing out from the back in the 75th minute against a press like city’s #despite most of them having been on the pitch the entire time up til this point #and despite our squad not necessarily having all the players to perfectly slot into our system compared to a team like city’s #it’s so good. seeing players like skippy who aren’t tailor made for his system getting the instructions and charging forward and running #down the wing and playing the cross ange wants to see is gold. #they’re learning more and more with every game and it’s a downright pleasure to witness #we’re going somewhere i really believe it 🤍 #rahul.txt

[godblooded]

honestly? the worst part of all this is just… seeing people go on trips and talk about hanging out. and everyone’s happy for a thousand reasons. and i just feel so much like it will never be my turn. i haven’t physically hung out with anyone in like a month. i haven’t gone anywhere away from this fucking place in more than a year. i can’t because i have too many responsibilities all the time. and all i want to know is: when will i get to live my life and not be permanently paying off the general debt of my own birth.

#ooc. o kaptain. #negativity / #negative / #[it’s making it harder to do everything and to feel okay. like. why am i working?? for no reason?? to continue to be disappointed and have #nothing to look forward to at all? no goijg someplace for a weekend in like a couple months. no going somewhere for a weekend because I’m #too worried about what’s going on and i have to make sure my aunt’s alright because we’re all we’ve got. and it’s just. crushing. it’s #just exhausting. I can’t see two feet in front of me at any given point but I have to work later. and hopefully this feeling will abate. #like. a little at least. I just needed to put it out there. it’s been a bad 2024 and it only just started.] #medical /

[likedbyuarmyhope]

i’ve really been an army for over six years huh. i’ve been an army for almost a third of my life

#i was 15 when i discovered them. jk was fucking 19 and now i’m 21 and hes turning 26 like i’ve actually grown up with them #i’m so excited and impatient for the future with them but im also sad for all the experiences i had as a baby army that i can never get back #my first year as an army was almost entirely on tumblr and the community used to be so big and social and just. so much fun #even my first couple years on army twt feel so nostalgic now. there were bad things of course but also so many great things #i just feel so lucky to have lived through these last few years with them and i never want to lose those feelings #aeron.txt #it’s so cliche but there really are so many things that you just had to be there for #the struggle of joining their fancafe (i definitely gave up after the first few tries) #the first bangtan bomb they added closed captions to (and when they took them away as punishment for spreading an exclusive fancafe video) #(i still hold that video of the tannies taking turns kissing taehyung so very close to my heart) #their first ever bbma. their first performance at the amas #the creation of bt21 #the post-concert vlives during tours #bon voyage to look forward to every summer #jimin’s silent twitter videos #we’ve consistently gotten so much from them and i’m so happy for all that we’re continuing to get #i never want to seem like i think the old days were ‘better’ or like i’m not just as grateful for what they give us now #i just get so nostalgic and melancholy when i think of all the things that we don’t get to experience anymore #i was so young and going through some of my most formative years and it’s such a unique feeling to have grown up alongside bts #i’m still growing up with them. so much of what they taught me years ago is only now showing up in the decisions i make about my life #god i love them so much i love them so so so much

[pepprs]

if i could just get like 3 more hours of sleep every night. maybe even 2. i would be so powerful

#purrs #this week is so fucked bc i teach on tuesdays and stay late on wednesdays but then we have a late night program on thursday and again… i #cannot stress this enough… last week was a 6-day long shit show that a 2-day weekend was not NEARLY enough to recover from. and today i have #back to back meetings from i think like.. 11-3 and im double booked from 2-3 and have no time to eat lunch. and we haven’t even started #prepping facilitators for tomorrows program or putting together materials or anything. i wish we could just take a break. like im so #UNBELIEVABLY tired. UNBELIEVABLY. i just want to sleep. i love spending time w my colleagues but that’s like the only thing i look forward #to every day at this point like i literally just want to go to sleep. and im so bitter bc ppl are like oh yeah you guys must have had a #rough spring break but then do not expect any less from us after they went to like barceolona or wherever for 5 days while we suffered and #it’s like… ok. 🤠 like i just want to scream a little bit that’s all. im so burned out that im a crumb of soot rn #but we can’t stop until the end of the semester bc we’re teaching and doing a million things and everyone needs us 😍😍😍😍😍😍 #delete later