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s0fter-sin · 1 month

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it’s the sound that tips him off.

it’s late, half-past hell by his last count, and mactavish knows there shouldn’t be a single soul in the showers this time of night. though he’s sure if he asked, he’d be told a soul isn’t in there.

just a ghost.

he almost chokes on the thick steam filling the locker room; humid and hazy and the perfect cover. or it would be, if the man collapsed in the far stall cared about hiding.

mactavish hates himself a little for the low sigh that falls from his lips. he wishes he wasn't so disappointed; that the promises he's heard over and over and watched be broken as many times hadn't wedged their way into his heart and convinced him that maybe, maybe this could be the time it sticks.

he doesn't know what's worse; the disappointment or the lack of surprise.

he holds his breath through the steam and leans over the limp body; stinging hot water hitting his back, instantly soaking through his clothes and already starting to burn. he flicks the tap enough to take the bulk of the heat out and straightens; a groan startling out of the man beneath him at the sudden lash of tepid water.

mactavish crouches, knees clicking and hooks a hand under his bicep to pull him up straight against the wall. if there was any vomit on his skin, it's been washed away by the pelting stream and he supposes he can count himself lucky for that. he tilts his limp head back and slips his fingers into his mouth; holding down his tongue and ignores the way it lazily jolts under his fingers to check his airway.

clear.

another small victory.

mactavish pulls his fingers out and cups his chin, keeping him tilted up and moves in the way of the water again so he can pull at his eyelid.

the eye he's met with is cloudy, so dilated there's hardly a ring of blue left.

he sighs again; hand falling away and letting his eye fall shut. "god damnit, riley."

riley moans, all his weight resting on the hand holding his jaw.

"aye, 'm talking ‘bout you," he grunts tiredly.

he lets riley's head fall forward to grab his arm, pulling him away from the wall to sit behind him; propping his body up against his chest. he leans his head back over his shoulder, keeping his face out of the water and his airway open just in case he hasn't actually finished throwing up.

he takes the rag riley'd half-managed to soap up and mechanically runs it over him; cataloguing new bruises and cuts and checking if the old ones are healing. sickly yellow fingerprints ring his hips, red splotches paint his ribs; too new to have settled into the deep purple he knows they’ll become.

riley slowly makes more noise as he rubs life into his body; still lying limp against his front but his head's starting to roll restlessly on his shoulder. he swipes between his legs and carefully doesn't think a single thing about what he finds.

"sean?" he rasps and mactavish's hand stills; eyes falling shut. he bites his check, hand clenching around the rag tight enough to shake and breathes hard out his nose.

he doesn't say a word, just forces himself to go back to cleaning.

he's not sure what would come out of his mouth if he did.

riley isn't conscious enough to hear him anyway.

he runs his fingers over his inner elbows for tracks and manages to muster some relief when he doesn't find any. seems to be a pill and booze night; far from the worst condition he's found him in.

he rinses him off, running a curtesy hand over his shaved head only for it to fall back to his jaw; his thumb stroking over the thick scar carved into his cheek.

"you gotta stop doin' this," he whispers.

he isn’t sure if he’s talking to riley or himself.

mactavish gathers up riley's too-light body into his arms and turns off the shower. his head lolls into his throat and he throws a towel over his dripping body and another over his shoulder. it doesn't stop him from tracking water all the way to his quarters but he'd like to see someone try to put in a complaint about it.

he lays out the other towel on the bed and sets riley down; moving his body into the recovery position in an all-too familiar routine. he dries him enough that he won't soak the covers as he pulls them up to his chest and kicks the waste bin within grabbing distance of the bed.

he goes to pull off his sodden clothes when a different noise makes him freeze.

a low sniffle.

mactavish slowly turns back to the bed to find riley's eyes squinting open; glazed with tears as he kneads at the covers.

he stares at him for a moment as he looks around the room and those hazy eyes lock on him for the first time. "cap'n?"

he swallows. "aye; s'just me, riley."

his hand pokes out from under the covers and for all the promises he's made himself - all the “never again”s and “this is the last time”s - at the end of the day, he's weak.

he sits on the side of the bed and takes riley's hand in his; already so cold after nearly boiling himself alive.

"y' mad a' me?" he sniffs.

mactavish runs his tongue over his lip and slowly shakes his head. "no, i'm not mad at you."

"prom'se?" he pushes.

he reaches out and caresses his temple with his thumb. his hand almost covers his head and it cuts like a knife to remember just how small riley is. "aye," he says, hushed. "i promise."

riley's eyes fall shut, voicelessly murmuring 'promise’ to himself over and over.

"I’ll ge’ bett'r," he slurs and between one breath and the next, he's out.

mactavish sighs, running his hand in a final pass over his head and stares at a face that looks so much younger in sleep; bruised and sallow skin hidden in the shadows. "i know you will."

he presses a slow kiss to his forehead, shutting his eyes against the grief that wells in his heart and gets up to pull a chair over to the bed; settling in for another long night's vigil of watching his broken lieutenant sleep, ready to tilt him over if he throws up, eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of his chest fearing tonight may finally be the time it stops.

#drug use #tw drugs #guess whos back on her 09 shit #its me bb!!!#anyway 09 ghost who’s just completely messy #if he’s not on an op then he’s at clubs drinking & taking anything he can get his hands on #mactavish knows what he gets up to and hates it #hates watching him destroy himself stumbling back to base with no memory of what - or who - he’s done #hates seeing him prod at bruises knowing he has no idea where they came from #mactavish is more pissed that whoever riley was with just left him like that and that riley is totally fine with it happening #more than once he's found him almost od'ing half passed out in his room or the showers #and every time riley will slur out apologies and promises mactavish knows better to believe #riley knows how much it hurts mactavish to see him like this but its just so painful to live in his head #he can’t help but try and get out of it the only way he knows how #this is pre relationship btw just to make it all hurt a little more #ghost never remembers how he ends up back in his own bed after a bender #the whole point of them is to forget #he’ll end up missing days at a time and never question what happened to him in the meantime #if he thinks hard enough sometimes he can pick up flashes of a familiar voice rasping in his ear and big hands moving his body #but it’s hard for him to believe they’re anymore than drug induced hallucinations of what he really wants #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #talk to me ghost #we’re a team. ghost team #09 soapghost #09 ghoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod

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books-books-smolderinglooks · 2 years

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"And you loved me / I could feel it / Cause I loved you / Can't eclipse it / It goes on, I love / It goes on, Still love you" ❤️💜

#young royals #wilhem x simon #wilmon #simon eriksson #the love of his life just told him he was letting him go and he was like - wait no this isn't what I want.. to happen..#then he kisses him and he's like yeeees perfect amazing this is what it's like feels so good #he misses Wille so much!!#sings his song and deep sigh.. I love him.. no matter that I shouldn't.. how easier it would be if I didn't.. I deeply love him.. 💜#the way the music fits perfect #the way Simon sings beautifully #happy Simon makes me happy 🥹#it's so perfect omg 😭#my gifs yr #youngroyalsedit

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movedtodykedvonte · 8 months

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My personal feelings in the Fionna and Cake ending is that it was perfect.

The story showed about how we can only control what is in our very personal and small world and not worry about or take on the responsibilities of that outside ourself.

We will make mistakes and wish we could rewrite them over and over and over until it’s perfect but we can’t. We will hate aspects of our lives and adore aspects of lives we don’t know the intricacies or hardships of but we can not insert ourselves. We have our own lives to live and rather than define it by a given purpose let us define the purpose as we go along. Not everything is revealed when it’s over, you may not get the answers but it’s okay to go somewhere and not know.

Some endings are happy, some are sad and some are just that, endings. They don’t have neat little bows or a “The End” on the last page but they allow us to put the past down and move on to whatever else lies ahead.

#Betty is a chaos god Simon is just a guy and it’s okay their worlds don’t match them or each other any more #change happened and the more they fought it the more it hurt them #fionna learned this is just her life and that’s fine #I think people expecting a big emotional ending forget the show was mainly about after the healing process when you are just allowed to #drift and find what to do next like Simon or a sedimentary moment like fionna #everyone more or less already moved on they just needed to accept it like Simon finally did #and fionna had to except sometimes the moment is all there is and you have to move with it and not past #betty Simon fionna made their choices and now they live with them there is no change only being heard and they all got that and the peace #they could gain from it and ya missed the point if you think someone was cheated or their fate was left ambiguous or unfair #they are going to be what they are now fionna a non magical normal woman #simon a guy out of his time but okay about it #and Betty a being past itself and the world #it’s not extravagant but it’s what it should be the world goes on and sometimes the only change is you noticing it’s still spinning #fionna and cake #adventure time

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altruistic-meme · 1 year

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hi all <3

so back when season 2 first dropped, i happened to poke my head into the tags too soon and saw a post that i didn’t agree with, saying something about how terrible Wilhelm and Simon’s communication was in s2. respectfully, i just removed myself from the tags, but it had struck a chord in me. so naturally i rewatched s2 immediately and hand-wrote 14 pages looking at how their communication actually was through the season.

it’s now a little over a month and many, many rewatches later, but having been encouraged by @missmeganlee, i have decided to share with you all! i have transferred the original thoughts directly from my yr book and onto here, so these are written exactly as i first wrote them back on Nov. 2.

i do want to clarify that this isn’t an analysis post, it’s more of an observations post. the main purpose was to go through almost every interaction Wilhelm and Simon had in season 2 and to point out their communication throughout. although it’s not something i would ever send directly to the person who inspired it, it pretty much is a direct response to that post. it’s more of a breakdown pointing things out than an analysis about why or who or what or how.

affectionately titled “’Wilmon bad communication’: Kiss My Ass”, here you go:

Episode 1

(34:00) - The Library Scene

Simon tells Wille what he wants (to not talk) and explains that it’s not forever, just for now

Wille expresses why he doesn’t want that (“you’re the only one I can talk to”)

But Simon tells Wille that he hurt him, which Wille doesn’t deny

Simon says “I can’t be around you right now” which establishes how he feels and sets a boundary

“Tell me what to do” Wille wants to fix it but doesn’t know how. It’s a last effort to get Simon to stay, but ultimately when he doesn’t, Wille let’s him walk away, respecting the boundary

Episode 2

(1:04) - Walking away from the music room

Wille is still respecting the boundary

(5:19) - Not passing to him in gym class

Petty, but still the boundary

(7:12) - In the classroom

Wille asks Simon before sitting, even though there is no where else

Petty bitch

“I’m just trying to be honest about my feelings. Maybe you should try it.” Also petty, but it’s a good message. Simon doesn’t feel like WIlle is honest or clear, so he tells him that it’s a problem.

Wille looks properly chastised after, meaning he’s considering what Simon said and realizing he was right.

(16:50) - In the locker room

Wille is now expressing how he feels about Simon’s behavior (“You don’t care, you just shut down.”)

Clarification!!! Simon explains what actually happened (“I went to the principal. Now I’ll get detention.”)

Wille apologizes for getting mad AND thanks Simon for trying to help

They discuss what happened, putting them both on the same page (to an extent)

Wille tells Simon that they can have a relationship and explains the situation around it (“Two years it would have to be a secret”)

Wille makes it clear that he wants to be together again now

Simon stops Wille and asks for clarification

Hi Henry

Simon expresses his problems with the situation (waiting two years and Wille’s denying the video) as well as his lack if trust in Wille

Restates what he needs/wants (not to be a secret)

Explains a new boundary (talking at school)

Wille clarifies what this means. “As friends, then?” and Simon confirms. SAME PAGE.

Episode 3

(2:47) - At rowing practice

Wille checking on Simon when he sees he’s upset

Simon being honest about the reasons, including his displeasure in the difference in how they are treated

Wille apologizes (roughly, but he does) and explains his reasoning

(11:05) - Doing homework in the cafe

Wille expressing that he felt lied to, even though, as Simon clarifies, he was told the truth

Wille asking (...telling) Simon to just speak plainly

Simon does

Wille accepts Simon’s answer without a fight

Simon decides on his own to further clarify that he and Marcus aren’t dating, as well as telling Wille that it “isn’t his business” which is another boundary of sorts

Episode 4

(general)

No prior communication from either side regarding Marcus and Felice

(10:02) - In the locker room

Simon opens up with anger, but he immediately is explaining why he’s mad

Wille acknowledges that Simon is upset and validates his anger (“I get that it’s hard”) but he also points out Simon’s hypocrisy

Wille expresses his own anger and why

Wille again asks Simon for a clear, simple answer. Simon shrugs (which isn’t clear, but given Simon’s whole situation, I’m pretty sure it was honest)

Simon explains how he feel with Marcus (“He’s open about liking me/he introduces me to his friends/etc.”)

Wille is defensive. He can’t deny the first one, but he does the others.

“He accepts me the way I am.” “And I don’t? You’re the one who can’t accept my role, my family!” “No, maybe I can’t” (Now Simon is being hypocritical again) But Simon is being brutally honest. He does have trouble accepting that Wille is the Crown Prince. Painful, but he still lets Wille know it’s an issue.

(36:35) - At the ball

Simon is honest in expressing that the interaction with Marcus felt weird

Wille is honest in assuring him it was just him being polite

Wille explicitly states his observations and new intentions (“You don’t love me anymore. I’ll leave you alone.”) While this observation isn’t accurate (Simon does still love him) Wille believes it is, so he’s again being honest.

He is also acknowledging that Simon wants to move on and clearly stating that he will stop pushing or trying to get Simon to take him back

(40:05) - At the ball, outside

Wille is intentionally ignoring Simon at first, until Simon catches up

Simon states that he is trying to move on and Wille accepts it

“Everything just went wrong between us.” “I know.” Simon is telling Wille that their breakup wasn’t because of loss or lack of feelings, and again Wille accepts that

Simon is the one to initiate the kiss

He also leaves Wille without talking about it

Episode 5

(7:55) - The classroom

Our second lack of communication

Wille believing that their kiss means that they are on good terms, when Simon is still just as confused, as a result of them not yet discussing it

We also have Simon shutting down when Wille asks if something happened, where before he had answered

(8:45) - The music room

Once again, we have Wille reaching out to see if Simon is okay or why he is upset (this is Wille explicitly trying to have good, open communication with Simon)

Simon is once again brutally honest about his feelings in the moment (“It feels like when you enter the picture, everything I do turns into a problem.”) Which isn’t fair to Wille, but it is how Simon feels

Now Wille is searching for clarification of the results of the kiss, through explaining his own assumptions

(also to note: “You… we kissed each other.” he is intentionally taking part of the blame, as opposed to just blaming Simon for what happened.)

Simon clarifies that it’s about more than the kiss and tells Wille why he is upset (can’t sing his song, no association w/ Wille)

Wille states that this isn’t his fault, and it’s not, but Simon explains the reason is still because of Wille (“The song is about you.”)

Simon brings up some of what is probably an older truth: “How long will I be punished for the video?”

He then assumes that Wille hasn’t had problems because of the video

Wille is, again, defensive

Simon turns around to acknowledge that things were bad “for a while” but again assumes that just since he hasn’t seen it, that Wille isn’t still affected

Wille tells him that he doesn’t know how he’s been affected by it

Now he tries to direct Simon’s anger towards who posted it, since they are the one at fault

Simon does acknowledge that as well, but makes it clear he’s still getting the majority of the shit for it

Simon expresses his thoughts on the kiss now (“[it] was a mistake.”) and tries to leave

Finally, we have Wille telling Simon who posted the video!

Wille tries to explain what has been done as punishment

Simon asks when Wille found out. He doesn’t answer.

Simon asks that he didn’t want to tell him. Wille says he did, but tries to justify why he didn’t (“I was trying to protect you.”)

Simon expresses what he has assumed of Wille’s actions (“You were protecting him.”)

Wille explains why Simon’s plan wouldn’t work (August’s protections)

Simon is getting angry. He points out the way Wille is separating himself from the others (the Royal Court)

Simon tells Wille how he’s acting just like his mother. He leaves.

Wille tries to stop him, because he wants to talk it out as opposed to leaving it on bad terms, but he doesn’t stop. Wille still let’s him walk away.

(25:09) - Outside Simon’s house (gods i love this scene)

Wille opens with an apology. This shows that he knows he hurt Simon by not telling him before, and he’s acknowledging that hurt.

Then we have Wille explaining the ENTIRE situation, as he knows it, as well as the most likely results of each option AND how he personally feels

Simon looks for clarification that this isn’t Wille trying to convince him not to

Wille says no. Tells him it’s his choice.

“I just wanted you to know. This is the situation. This is how I feel.” HOW CAN YOU SAY “THEY HAVE BAD COMMUNICATION” AFTER HEARING THAT?? sorry

(30:01) - In the study group

Communication through book analysis <3

Someone else put this much better than I can ( @stygianirondiangelo !!!) , but basically it’s Wille acknowledging his mistakes and how they were affected by his title and how it hurt Simon, and Simon acknowledging that Wille’s background is important and it’s hard

“Not everything is bad.”

(34:11) - Study group

Simon is forthright with Wille about his decision

(36:05) - From the classroom

Simon directly asks if Wille is mad at him for his decision

(36:43) - Wille’s room

Now we have Simon checking in on how Wille is feeling (I think… this is the first time all season)

Wille is honest about both reasons he didn’t feel well (the speech and August)

Simon makes it clear that it isn’t to hurt Wille

Wille acknowledges that, and further explains that he isn’t trying to change Simon’s mind. That it is Simon’s choice.

Wille also admits to being afraid anyway, because of what it means

Simon validates that and let’s Wille know that he’s not alone in the fear

“What will happen to us?” “I don’t know.” (a question that should have been asked at the end of episode 4. I digress.)

But now we have Wille looking for a clear direction and wanting them to be on the same page, paired with Simon’s raw honesty of not knowing and not pretending he does

Episode 6

(00:14) - Wille’s room

Clear communication from Simon as to when he’s meeting his mother, and that he has something else to do, even if he doesn’t say what

SAME PAGE

(12:40) - Outside the school

Wille’s immediate reaction to August’s threats is to tell Simon everything August had told him

SAME. PAGE. Again. Wille is no longer keeping any of this from Simon

(13:38) - The hallway in Forest Ridge and the shooting range

Wille and Simon are both going to confront August together, as opposed to Wille trying to handle it or “protect” Simon

(18:10) - Road to Hillerska

This is communication, too

Wille is asking Simon to wait because Wille wants to talk it through

But Simon tells Wille “I just want to go home” and Wille lets him

(side note: Simon needs space after conflict while Wille wants to talk it through so it doesn’t stay)

(32:19) - In their hallway

Simon starts by expressing his feelings on the situation

“I want to be with you.” Now Simon is clearly stating what he wants, and further clarifies that he fully understands what that entails but he still wants it

“I love you.” Again, making his feelings perfectly clear.

#it's 14 pages in my book but only about 5 on the computer lmao #in classic Abram fashion there are timestamps. it's so funny bc the timestamps are all i put in my yr #so TECHNICALLY the addition of the locations was NOT in my yr book but i wanted to make it more clear #as to what scenes i was talking about #...........what does it say about me that i didn't have to check at all to know what was happening in every scene?#again this was on my third watch maybe so i was still greatly distracted #and i am sure there are things i missed that could have been included #but well <3 it is what it is #young royals #young royals analysis #tho like i said it isn't really #wilhelm yr #simon eriksson #wilmon #yr s2 #young royals s2 #shh ac

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makeyouminemp3 · 6 months

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i hate how people can just easily erase and forget and overlook a platonic relationship that had key importance to the show/movie they're apart of, like people talk about them at first, but when the second a romantic relationship is "more important" to talk about, most of the fandom drops it and forgets it when it's convenient for them because apparently it's not as important as romance 😒

#i mean for fear street. the amount of gifsets platonic relationships like deena and josh & ziggy and cindy & simon and kate is so little #from what I'VE seen personally #oh and let's not forget the tw writers AND fandom just completely forgetting scott and stiles relationship to make st*dia more important #and as much as i love DK the second season 4 came around everyone just forgot “platonic relationships? don't know them”#and i'm someone who always puts on their queercoded glasses for certain ships but that's not the point #like DK can have their romance but why put platonic relationships like dick & rachel and kory & gar on the backburner for that to happen #or st fandom trying to minimize steve and robin's dynamic #especially by making robin as steve's sidekick and to be his wingwoman whenever it's about st*ddie or st*ncy and it's exhausting #like completely missing the mark on their dynamic entirely. like when we HAVE platonic relationships they're just overlooked and minimized #it's not fair tbh.#and trust me. this is coming from someone who has multiple otp tags for a REASON #people just can't let other relationships coexist with romance and it's annoying and i need it to die #jaiden rants

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cutter-kirby · 8 months

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okay so i’ve been gone all day so i’m finally posting my fionna and cake initial thoughts. and since i’ve seen only a few people talking about my second favorite alternate finn, i’d thought i’d share the big thing i was thinking about during episode 5.

how the fuck does farmworld finn have that many kids???????

so i’ve always thought that farmworld and ooo operated on parallel timelines, and the show seemed to follow this too, but literally how does a 29 year old have a dead wife and a preteen kid, especially fw finn, who i seriously doubt was mentally and emotionally ready to start a family so soon after the crown was destroyed. so unless the show changed its mind and farmworld is suddenly farther in the future than ooo, i have no idea how fw finn has such a big family (cause like. the show clearly wants us to think that they’re all biological kids as opposed to adoption).

let me share my initial theory for who jay was. when i first saw him i thought he was going to be little sibling.

i mean. the years match up perfectly here, so i have no idea why they went with the option that completely messes up the timeline.

also to clear up a misconception the flashback at the beginning is almost definitely during the year ice finn spent alone freezing people (between jake the dog and crossover) before prismo's meddling destroyed the crown in the nuke, so that part holds up at least.

i could be missing something that makes all of this make sense. i'll probably rewatch this episode tonight if there's any info i missed i might add it idk

#side note adult farmworld finn is so fucking cool #my man was forced into being an ice wizard and got himself a flamethrower arm to cope #godspeed buddy #also the man's raising 5 kids BY HIMSELF. please help him #where the fuck are his parents????? where's little sibling?????#it sucks cause we'll probably never see him again #i love fw finn sooooo much you guys AUGH #he just needed to talk to simon for like 5 seconds and then simon would've realized how stupid his plan is #okay yeah i'll make a meme of that later #anyway maybe i'm missing something but idk #jay should have been little sibling end post #adventure time #the rest of the kids are fine they're clearly younger #but jay's like. as old as the timeskip what the fuck happened #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #farmworld finn #ice finn

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sysig · 5 months

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Cool guys, measured in C° (Patreon)

#Doodles #Fionna and Cake #Adventure Time #Simon Petrikov #Winter King #Mostly leftover doodles at this point - chilling (lol)#Ughhh I'm so frustrated by the first one because I'm so pleased with it but it's from a plot thread I had to cut because it suuuuucked lol #I mean it's not Terrible and I probably could reuse it elsewhere but it super doesn't fit into the timeline I drew it at >:P Rude #If I reuse it he'll look different! Ugh! The whole point is that he's cute Exactly Like That!#I got really into draw half-Winterized/Ice Kingified Simon for a bit and gosh heck his design - it never misses! Gorgeous #The rest was mostly around speculating Winter's senses returning after Everything - would it all happen at once? I don't think so ♪#I've seen one interpretation that he kept his long hair but not the facial hair :0 It's interesting to be sure!#I like the idea of him having to kinda build everything back - even if it's able to be done quickly he still has to excavate himself!#Just shoops his facial hair back inside his body egh wouldn't it be easier to just cut it lol #What's the fun in magic if you can't use it for weird stuff ♪#It was fun to draw his facial hair in stages as well haha ♫ Scraggly #Also thinking about him just a touch more in my own style - I made his tongue purpley in the silly BDG shitpost I made but still thinking!#I really like the versions of him that look frostbitten or at least with that bruised look on his knuckles and so on #Something like a nice purple lip gloss - tips of his ears - maybe even around his eyes - definitely his cheeks and knuckles #Making him look almost dead....I mean he's not an elemental :) He's a human who's only real lifeline is The Crown :)#Making him look a little more dead than Simon - it feels fitting #Speaking of - just a couple silly Simon doodles to round off #I'm too used to drawing butts as part of like exaggerated poses :P I'd like to practice a bit more #Him and Spamton lol what Is it with glasses'd long-nosed characters linked to ice magic lately having asses larger than their self worth lol

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that-sad-guy · 1 year

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#mine #ace attorney #ace attorney fanart #bobby fulbright #ema skye #simon blackquill #i love unhinged tiktok comments #this is what happens when im bored in class #these are quick because i needed to empty my head so badly #if theres any details missing stfu no there arent

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beepmeepmeepbeep · 4 days

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bridgerton not beating life ends with marriage allegations

#i hate that we are barelyyyy seeing kate anthony and daphne #s2 made such a big deal of kate being the new viscountess bridgerton and then this season she does like. none of that #obv i dont want to loose violet but i think we could balance both of them #yeah and i miss daphne. s1 is my fave and shes my fave out of her anthony and colin what can i say #itd be nice to see her hosting balls that things could happen at #like maybe they all dont really want to do the show?? but like hire people that do thennn. i dont really think this is the reason #cause like. u sign on to a tv show you do multiple series. not leave after one #this doesnt apply to simon i think his actor genuinely didnt want to do it and good for him and also hes the easiest to write off.#but kate anthony and daphne all still seem to want to do the show!#idk #its just frustraing to intro a character and make you care and then they leave #w later seasons hopefully former mains will stick around. we cant get to s6 and there be only 3 bridgertons #maybe when violet gets married to this guy shell move in with him and then anthony and kate will properly step up to the roles onscreen #bridgerton

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jekyllnahyena · 1 year

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fuck it, finally gonna sit down and try and write out a sorta timeline for Juliette, specifically before she met the 141. This specific to cod, cause it’s where my ideas first started and I need the basis to put that into sw ayayayay:

the short rundown is something like this:

Juliette ‘Regard’ Dione, 35 (at least in cod), 1,93 m and grew up in Paris, has picked up a few languages over her life by now, but it’s all haunted by a strong accent

mother was french, father senegalese, she lost them when she was 12.

Ambivert, but not something she really realized until later in life because she got used to being alone/sorta disconnected from others.

Very easily embarrassed and excitable, but you won’t notice because she might not exactly have a resting bitch face, but more of a resting ‘I’m staring into your soul and eating it for breakfast’ face which is what earned her her callsign.

Terrifying when angry, which you will notice. doesn’t get intimidated by anyone or anything at this point. she knows who she is, she knows what she can do, don’t try her, it’s very annoying and exhausting for her

Can drink enough to kill a horse and gets very squishy and affectionate when drunk. She remembers everything and will be terribly embarrassed about it later.

Doesn’t have an ounce of patriotism, but she can’t imagine herself outside of the military. Very aware that it’s only made everything worse for her. Will say things like ‘at least it’s taught me discipline’ with a sardonic smile. Joined for the money and free housing and thinking she’ll be able to figure out what to do afterwards.

Very good at what she does and completely aware of it too. doesn’t know how to leave and live a civilian life rn though she’s finally starting to make plans about it again

has severe problems with trusting others, especially civilians. Knows her reputation and the things she’s done and really doesn’t want to risk anyone else.

still only hooked up with complete strangers for the longest time. she didn’t want to be emotionally attached to the person she’s sleeping with. never spends the night though.

bisexual but it never really was a thing of coming out to her. she figured it out during her clubbing days pretty easily. very much a fuck around and find out person

Has a weird nac for picking up various hobbies that she uses to kill time. (currently learning how to crochet. She’s pretty shit at it, but she’s having fun)

Absolutely terrible cook with the exception of making coffee, which somehow always ends up at least passable. incredibly heavy sleeper, but only if she feels safe.

Night owl, don’t touch in the morning unless you’re offering her breakfast or are ready for a storm of french cursing.

Needs to physically exert herself at least twice a week or she’ll go slightly insane. That can be boxing, jogging or fucking rowing for all she cares. Just let her move, she’ll feel like a caged animal otherwise. Doesn’t give a flying fuck about body shape and the like, not unless it’s hindering her in said activities

Very, very competitive about these things. It’s a matter of pride to her and she hates losing in anything sports and it can make her a terrible team player. Not a problem if it’s something she’s just picked up, but her ambition to be good at physical things is very high.

Very clear at communicating her wants and needs and has no understanding as to why people won’t talk their problems through. Being vague feels like a waste of time to her.

Will forever and always keep her locs and last name, no matter what. It’s the last reminder of her birth parents.

Has terrible dissociative episodes that leave her sitting in places, eyes wide and unseeing. Best course of action is to have somebody hold her and coax her through it. They only get this bad when off mission, she represses most things on them

hobby ornithologist. has a massive book collection and actually enjoys going on searching trips in the middle of nowhere

absolute techno fiend and though she rarely goes to the clubs anymore (she’s lost contact with most of her friends from back in the day), she keeps up with the scene. There isn’t a singular place in Paris that she hasn’t been in though.

spends off shore time in a small village in Côte d’Azur directly by the sea or going traveling

and the long rundown is whatever the fuck all this is I’m sorry :’):

She’s the daughter of a senegalese immigrant and a working class mother. lost them age 12 to an accident and went through various foster cares as a result. She subconsciously internalized the idea that she’d die young and never even imagined a future because of that (with a few exceptions).

She now keeps steady contact with her last ‘family’, an elderly couple that had two grown children already when they took her aged 16. They never really got on in her youth, but they were amicable enough that they count as Juliette’s idea of ‘family’. She wrote them like once a year, but made an effort to reconnect in her 30s. They’re on good terms now.

got into a lot of trouble when younger, was an absolute techno fiend and spent most of her nights haunting through parisian clubs. She’s damn lucky she never landed in juvie, and it’s part of how/why she learned to be very sneaky. It got her in hot water with her teachers and caused her foster parents a lot of grief (at least the ones that cared). She still keeps up with the scene but has fallen out with most of her friends from back then. Was absolute shit at school, except sports and got into a lot of fights. Had so much anger inside her, which, combined with her difficulty to connect with her peers, would’ve made her a prime target for bullies, but that stopped pretty fast after the fourth nose she broke. she doesn’t remember most of her youth tbh

has problems with making connections with people, something that her clubbing sorta took care of when younger. She tends to look at people like she’s dissecting them and many get quite uncomfortable with it. Doesn’t care who you are, she’ll be completely honest and plainly tell you what she’s thinking, at least when you’re asking her. Communication has never been a problem for her, she doesn’t have the mind for being dishonest or vague. Will simply tell a person if she doesn’t feel comfortable with talking about things though. Calls people out on bullshit, her anger can override a lot of her anxiousness/awkwardness, something she makes use of. Her honesty has put quite a few people off, it’s less a thing of morality than her being socially inept.

Has gone through enough shit that intimidating her is near impossible, but getting her flustered is very, very easy, though people don’t always notice. Her looking embarrassed translates to her staring into your soul and because she keeps quiet if she doesn’t know how to handle a situation, it gets interpreted as her being slightly unnerving and observing a situation with cold calculation. (If you know what to look for though you’ll see that a good 73 percent of the time she simply doesn’t know how to respond. It can be incredibly hilarious, ngl)

She’s a lot better nowadays, much more comfortable with expressing her emotions and actually learning how to deal with her anxiousness. But social interactions could be an absolute hoot with her, I’ll tell u that. Doesn’t help that she’s terribly paranoid/distrustful, something that’s only gotten worse with her time in the military.

Joined very young, aged 19, for money and housing reasons, thinking she’d figure out what to do afterwards with the money she’d earn. She didn't want to stay with her foster parents anymore, very conscious and guilty of the trouble she's caused and the constant feeling of disconnect and ‘not right’ got to be too much for her. The military seemed like the next best idea. The few friends she had at that time thought she’d lost her mind and tried to convince her that it's a shite idea, but she'd already gotten her test results back at that point and was offered a plan. She tried keeping in contact during her starting time, but as her joining in on the normal activities would most definitely get her thrown out the instant a health evaluation came through, she didn’t really have much to talk about with them anymore. She later fell completely off the face of the earth when she became a solo operator.

Absolutely no sense of self preservation, terribly reckless when it comes to only herself. Gets very protective of her teammates in fears of losing another person, even if they aren’t ‘close’ in that sense. When on mission, she is likely to try and endanger herself before anyone else gets the chance to do so. Works in acts of service because it’s one of the few ways she feels like she can connect with others. She’s much more comfortable working solo though. Has, as one would expect, an incredibly fucked sense of morality by now. Something something ‘I’ll finish the mission no matter what, protect my own, don’t care if I die anyway, at least I’m good at this’

Found herself a lot when she met her old partner, even before they started to become a thing. They were also military and an incredibly calm fellow, funnily enough helping her work through her more extreme emotions she was so much more prone to back then. They encouraged her to go out together, meet up with people, letting others get closer again. She kinda learned how to be a bit more comfortably social tbh. The both of them went on a few trips together, it’s where she started picking up the habit of birdwatching (it also works as a reminder of all the places they’ve been) and they taught her surfing in Côte d’Azur, both kite and normal. Juliette started imagining a life with them there, maybe opening a small surfing school or something after they were both done with the military. Her problems didn’t go away, but she at least felt like she was living and figuring herself out during that time, trying out new things every chance she got, a habit she keeps up even today. They stepped on a landmine in front of her. It’s where Juliette got the big scar on her back from.

She got sent off duty to recover for a few months and next to the year after her parents death, she'll count it as the most gut wrenching and haunting time of her life, partly because she actually remembers these weeks instead of the haze that was her youth. She got it into her head that she’s destined to be alone then. Had a terrible depressive episode but returned to the military anyway. It felt like the only place for her at that point and they happily took her back, with her now truly and completely getting lost in her work. She swore off drugs after she had a terrible trip involving hallucinations of her old lover.

Juliette felt bound to the military then, making it her purpose and yes, it’s just as fucked up as you think it is. It’s the one thing she consistently excels at and she knows how good she is and she only got more terrifying after the loss, her becoming a lot more calm in the wake of her thinking that that’s truly her end all now. Very aware of the reputation she's managed to amass and has put quite a few people through the wringer on the matts when they tried to fuck with her. Only made her less approachable to others and a lot of people think she’s a hard ass. Very lonely creature but was for the most part too despondent to care about it, her anger simmering down to be replaced with apathy. Sparring was one of the few places you could see her actually talk shit and emote.

She got very used and comfortable to her loneliness, spending most of her offshore time on little bird watching trips and visiting clubs again (music will always be one of the few places she can truly lose herself and just shut her brain off) and trying out new food, mostly as a remembrance of their old lover. She still likes surfing and has one or two mates she meets up with, but she had to pick and choose her days when she could manage it emotionally. After two years, she stopped crying and a part was her finally accepting the loss, another was her being too tired to stay so sad about it. It’s a terrifying day, looking back, but she’s well and over their death by now. She made it a point of only hooking up with people that she had no connection with after that.

Most of it is spent waiting for the next mission though, even if she comes back with weird, small hobbies that let her kill the time. (At some point during that time, she started having dissociative episodes when she was emotionally overwhelmed, but as she’s still functional during those, they pose no ‘actual’ problem in the face of her missions.)

But yeah, the whole thing mellowed her out substantially, but it makes the resurfacing of her anger that much more unsettling. She’s more socially apt now, or at least knows how to pretend to be a lot better, but she’s gotten very comfortable with the ‘everything’. She stopped planning for the future by then and goes into every mission expecting the worst.

#juliette regard dione #jesus fucking christ this took a g e s #cw drugs #cw alcohol #ehhhhhhhhhh if ive missed anything yeet something at me #ayayayayayayay #cod oc #how the fuck do u wristers write anything my brain hurts thx #finally did a run down of her and her sorta time line #might add on what happened then after she met johnny n simon n how that whole thing impacted her but i honestly just wanna doodle rn :')

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