Supervillains for a community. (Well, except those jerks over in Gotham, insular lot, but they’re they’re one problem) Of course they do- supervillains are a group defined by strong opinions and a willingness to see them through, often with a healthy dash of societal failures and trauma as a catalyst.
The fentons, while not active even on the online message boards, are well known and explosive when they do show up, full of fascinating insights and hours long rants on mad science on hair pin turns courtesy of that ADHD attention span. Bit of the cryptids you feel honored to bump into kind of deal. Besides, like a good quarter of the community as it aged, they’d settled down and had kids (not necessarily in that order) and taken it very seriously! Out in the middle of nowhere, where even the most fearsome government outpost members, the local branch of the IRS, quake before them in fear. Out of the way.
Reveal gone okay-ish, Danny moves to Gotham still to get some air bc now things are Akward and he landed that engineering scholarship which is loads better than any other college would give him with his track record. So- the mysterious Fenton children are finally crawling out of hiding! Everyone is psyched! And roll in to Gotham en masse to witness the fireworks!
Except Danny is Determined To Be Normal. He’s had enough of the throwing himself into harms way shit for a lifetime- he wants to be free to peacefully built Rube Goldberg machines and unintentional increasingly complex bombs to his hearts content. JAZZ, on the other hand- the coveted token Normal One, has finally snapped! She’s watched her baby brother she practically raised throw himself into danger over and over and could do nothing, and now that she’s exposed to this whole network of superheroes outside of small town Amnity, some of those uglier emotions are coming out. And boy is she pissed! And can’t afford to show it much while filing the paperwork to have Arkham legally razed to the ground!
See I love this idea of like, niches in superhero society. A villain the heroes know they can plop their kiddo down with for an exciting afternoon brawl while they take care of a particularly grisly case and come back to a few hours later ranting about some new life lesson and a new move they really want to try. A villain who has a functioning moral compass despite their somewhat batshit long term goal and you can contact to fuck with another villains’s plan so they can laugh at them and you can have an easy afternoon. One who pries up hostile architecture and fills in pot holes, idk man. Get creative here, there’s such potential!
So Jazz becomes a Training villain- someone the heroes know their sidekicks will walk away from in a fight 100% of the time, usually with some new lesson to ponder and only a couple of bruises. Sometimes even snacks!
She also absolutely ambushes mentors to check that they’re worth the kiddo, which they appreciate once they get over being jumped in a dark alley by a 7 foot Amazon trained force of nature. They are not used to being on that side of the jumping, it’s a little unnerving.
(Yes, she low key adopts Shazam upon checking in with him on cursory ‘is the main hero of this city and asshole’ checkin. Yes, the super clones get yoinked out from under Superman’s negligent thumb to go have a blast with Ellie. What about it?)
This however only encourages more assorted weirdos to crawl out of the woodwork. It’s not often one of their own forfeits their potential spot for the running of the coveted Most Normal I Swear prize, but when they do it’s bound to be good! But jazz is off hounding various heroes and punching the faces in of pedophiles and shit whenever there’s no cape within easy reach, and so is a mite bit harder to contact than Danny, who has innocently gotten an apprenticeship under a clockworker for access to their workshop and is gleefully going about doing nerdy shit with great abandon.
Plus this is Gotham. No one gives a shit if someone in the Mad Alchemist uniform and still smoking from their latest experiment pokes their head in a window to bother the local shrimp teen- none of the usual social rules apply, everyone’s crazy here! So everyone drops any and all attempts at masking and just acts their genuine unhinged selves, much to the alarm of the Bats and frustration of Danny.
Bc he cannot get these mfers to go. Away. Even liberal use of the creep stick has little effect when the interloper is calibrated for an opponent with super speed or laser vision or whatever, and he’s trying to maintain his guise as a Normal College Student Do No Investigate.
So he calls in the big guns. He’s not super active in the supervillain kids group chat ever since things in amnity calmed the fuck down post becoming King and then immediately using a loophole that says he will not take the throne until he is grown, as defined by finishing learning his trade a la the medieval standards Pariah set up. So he can just take his sweet ass time with his graduate degree and out of inter dimensional bull shit that much longer! Point is, he hasn’t taken the chance to rant over there in a while, so his Crazy friends are getting a lil worried.
The change to come over and shout at their batshit crazy but (mostly) well meaning parent AND see Danny? Score!
The bats, however, are getting awfully suspicious about this one kid that villains from all over the country are flocking to, especially young and upcoming ones as of recently! And he’s acting his engineering course- all the worst rogues are known to have flown through their PhD studies prior to Cracking. They seem to have a real problem on their hands with this Fenton guy.
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Climate activists apparently believe plants and animals are bad for the environment?
Apparently this is a great excuse to just shut down agriculture completely so farmers can be out of work and everyone can starve to death.
Also I will add ‘truck sprayer full of manure’ to my list of things to bring to a protest.
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Oops.
While learning to control his powers under the guidance of Clockwork, Danny accidentally curses his own bloodline with the Curse of Sentient Food several centuries in the past. Originally, a witch was supposed to curse his family. Oops. Well, the Fentons were always adapting, and technically, either way, he'd end up battling dino nuggets at three am in his underwear, no matter who the curse came from. So he shrugged and continued on.
Unfortunately, this also means that out of nowhere, the timeline shifted, and some of his very distant relatives are now battling their food into submission at every meal because Danny is ultimately way more powerful than some mortal witch from the 1600s. His version of the curse reached literally everyone he could ever be related to for the last few centuries. Even if they were adopted into the family!
So, returning to the present time after training, Danny is a little startled to see some news clips of people's dinners coming to life and beginning revolutions. Wow, John Fentonightingale really got around, didn't he? He felt a little uncomfortable that now all these random people had to deal with their share of Fenton luck, but from some of the interviews, everyone seemed to be handling it pretty well!
Especially his so-distant-they're-on-another-tree cousins, the Kents, who contacted his family directly, asking how best to prepare a zombie turkey. Their son was coming for Thanksgiving with his new wife and some coworkers, and they just refused to make the guests fight for their lives on a holiday!
They invited the Fentons to join them, of course.
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The fun thing about CFAU danny is that he grew up in crime alley during his early developmental and foundational years, and was only in amity park for four years before his accident. Which means: potential to explore how this affects his personality. How does he act?
If he grows up in crime alley, which is rife with violence and crime and he like everyone else bares witness to it, how will that change who he is compared to canon?
Because he’s not gonna be the exact same as canon, thats not how development works. Something’s gonna change. So is he violent? Is he a thief? A liar? A follower, a leader? A backstabber? How selfish is he? Because selflessness gets you killed.
How willing is he to get shot/stabbed/murdered/trafficked for another person when he’s surrounded by people who take priority over themselves more than others? And is largely not taught otherwise? (And are valid for their self-preservation?)
What’s his kindness look like, is it rough? Tough love all the way through, showing other kids how to bloody up their knuckles to keep their own face safe?
Showing kids how to file down their teeth with the broken glass at their feet, so that when they bite they make it hurt?
Or is it more gentle, but still bloody, showing kids how to keep their head down and out of the way of the bigger, meaner kids barreling their way past? How to blend in, how to hide? How to not get caught?
Is it a third option, and always bloody, always hurting? Does he get in the way, take the hits? Always a shield, never the shielded? His nose having been broken so many times it’s permanently crooked, are his eyes always black? His lip always bleeding? Does he have scars?
Is it a fourth option, a fifth option, a sixth? Is it bloody? It may as well be, Crime Alley is always bloody. Always bleeding. Danny will see death, he will see suffering, he won’t unless he closes his eyes and covers his ears.
Does he have bad habits? Stealing, smoking, drinking, kids mimic the adults and even if his parents try to teach him out of it, it takes a village to raise a child. If the village is violent, then the child will be too. Is he malnourished? Jason was. He will be.
How does Dan change in comparison to canon vs a Danny who grew up in crime alley? Does he change at all? Or is Danny just more horrified by him, because he’s more similar to him than he previously thought?
What are his thoughts on Batman and Robin? Does he like them, think them myth, distrust them? How does his time in Gotham influence his perspective on the people there, on the world around him? His thoughts on Bruce Wayne (beyond the improbable him immediately figuring out Bruce Wayne = Batman)? The Elite? Does he have an accent? What’s his education like?
And CFAU Danny is fun because I get to explore that. He is ultimately still Danny - still kind, and selfless, sarcastic, punny. But how does he show it? What other traits does he have? What has changed, and what has stayed?
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Instead of a raging insomniac, what about Sun and Moon handling a Y/N who is a furious narcoleptic? It would involve Sun coaxing Y/N to stay awake because yikes, even Moon agrees that it's a problem to sit down for one second at the security desk and immediately slump over into a dead sleep.
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🌼 see you in the country🌼
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I posted the centaur shepherd art to reddit and honestly the gun nerds have been some of the most polite commenters, rare W. Meanwhile I've got this guy who thinks animal husbandry is zoophilia and people who think the centaurs pose holding the weaner looks too much like sex (centaurs cannot mate from that position, it's being braced against the midlegs) and someone saying the pic "comes across as some kind of fetish." And im. Like. YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THIS PICTURE OF ALIEN LIVESTOCK SEXUAL. NOT ME.
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
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last thing i’ll say; people aren’t owed free content but creatives aren’t owed financial compensation either
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this is my entire stance on the "american food is bad" discourse summed up
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Y’all this is the most random but I have to share. I have been in pure white knuckling survival mode at work for the last month. Finally FINALLY (a few tiny remaining tasks aside) I’m (almost) on break for 3 whole weeks. A break I need more than I have words for.
So this evening I was trying to catch up on some holiday cards I wanna mail out and I grabbed an arbitrary hardcover book off my shelf to use as a surface to write on while sitting on my couch and it was THIS cookbook from 1974.
Do I recall having seen this cookbook in my life before? Nope! Did I heavily clean out and pair down my book collection for a garage sale just a year ago? YEP! Am I deeply confused and intrigued? You bet!
Here are my “”””””favorite””””” findings inside…
Shrimp macaroni casserole? Definitely the kind of thing I had expected from a 70s cookbook!
Frank-Kraut dinner? YOU BETCHA!
Confetti?!??? Meatball???? Supper? Hahhaha wtf, surely Better Homes and Gardens, you jest!
Aaaaaaaand let’s top it all off with this crown jewel: SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN MOLD!!!! If there’s one flavor I’d love moldified, it’s sweet and sour chicken!!!!!
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i think the most annoying part of dog food discourse is how many people will act as though proplan/hill’s/Royal canin diets aren’t extremely and prohibitively expensive and that THAT is the reason so many people look into healthy alternatives.
People complain about corn being in the first five ingredients on most of those feeds because, regardless of other factors here, that is not an expensive ingredient. But it makes up a large chunk of the dry food. So the dry food should be fairly affordable, right?
Oh… with tax you’re spending about $100 for one 45lb bag of food where the third ingredient is wheat and the fourth and fifth ingredients are corn.
Oh… well! It’s slightly cheaper! But the second ingredient is rice, third is wheat, fourth is corn, and then fifth is poultry byproduct. None of those are very expensive so this just must be the low end cost of dog food unfortunately. The vets recommend it so surely that means prices aren’t inflated, right?
Oh? This one has similar ingredients with the only real difference being no corn? And it’s half the price?? Well surely that’s just a fluke.
Oh. Oh no.
This one even has CORN in it and it’s $20 cheaper?? Wow!
Like listen at some point I don’t care if your dog food has the ichor of the gods in it, I’m not spending $100 every five days if there are cheaper options with just as many “good” ingredients in it. If you think I’m a dog abuser because I can’t afford this overpriced garbage, that’s too bad. I don’t care. My dogs are perfectly healthy with the food I give them. Great weight and great coat. People giving dog food recommendations that aren’t those top three hyper-expensive dog foods aren’t trying to epic own those dastardly vets half the time, but I really don’t blame the ones who do lose trust in vets when the only heartworm protection they recommend lately are expensive triple-action brands like Simparica Trio that costs $120+ as opposed to the other heartworm protections that are only about $40-$60 on average, which is still cheaper even if you add on a $20-$40 flea and tick protection separately, and only recommend dog food that costs $85+ a bag even if your dog doesn’t have specialized dietary needs.
Those top three foods are GREAT at making competent prescription diets, I don’t deny that. I do still have to criticize the pricing of those prescription diets though because I have spoken to DOZENS of people who had to pull their pets off of a prescription diet and struggle to find something comparable because they couldn’t afford the food, and that’s terrible! These are not poor companies! Purina, Royal Canin, and Hill’s can ABSOLUTELY afford to lower their prices to make their food accessible to people who need it for their animals but they don’t. They probably never will. Because at the core they are run by greedy corporations. It doesn’t matter how many good nutritionists are on board if the company is run by people who put profits over customers and make the food impossible for people to afford.
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There are so many people in my day to day life who see dogs as just pets. So many people who don’t understand how much I’m struggling with Miller’s condition. Even people in my own workplace are surprised by how “hard” I’m taking it. The reality is these people go home to a partner or family of an evening, I go home to my dogs. That sounds really miserable and antisocial - but I’m an independent person and I’ve bought my own home and set up my own life and I’ve done it all by myself… except for the little pack of supporters who’ve been there through it all. Miller has been through it all.
Miller knew me when I was 18 and living with my grandparents; still a kid and having no idea about being an adult. Miller knew me when I went through my first break up, and she stuck around through the heartache. Miller knew me when I first ventured out into the big wide world; renting a “big girl house” with a friend and having a stable income and working towards my dreams. Miller knew me through my second break up, where I fled the country and went on a journey to “heal myself” and left her (and Henry) with my grandparents. She didn’t mind. She enjoyed the extra snacks. Miller knew me when I bought my first home, alone, and was right there beside me throughout.
She’s known me through my entire adult life. But I’ve known Miller through the day when she first came home… carsick on the passenger’s seat with only petrol station toilet paper to clean it up. I’ve known Miller through her “drug overdose” where she decided to snack on a pack of ibuprofen (again, with Henry). I’ve known Miller through horrific and uncontrollable ear infections. Where I thought the kindest thing was to let her go. Where I saw her in chronic, severe pain and several ear surgeries and procedures. I’ve known miller through her, um, “back end” problems, and having to remove stitches from her actual butthole. I’ve known Miller through her mellow years, where her only crimes are barking at a yellow lab on the beach or greeting our guests with a loud and persistent voice.
Today someone came to my house and there was no loud voice to greet them. She’s in a vet clinic cage, yellow as a highlighter, trying her hardest to stay alive. She’s 8 years old and has lived a life rich with joy and adventure, but my god I’m not ready to say goodbye yet. She’s not grey, she’s not creaky, she’s still got so much life in her. So many more rivers to swim in and songs to dance to and yellow labs to bark at. Every waking moment is spent agonising over my special little blue dog.
We don’t see leptospirosis where I am located. It’s very rare, and my vets have little experience with it. Today we contacted other hospitals in places were it is more prevalent so we can get a better idea of what we’re dealing with. It can take 7-14 days to see a turnaround. Miller is on day 4. I don’t know how I will afford 14 days of intensive care. I don’t even know how to think about money right now. I don’t know when the right time is to call it; to let her rest, or whether she wants me to keep fighting for her. Every minute is a nightmare and I miss my best girl.
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