#which is what has gotten me this far

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

And the day has arrived where a fanfic has so thoroughly destroyed me I have to back out to read later o.o

#I'm usually extremely stubborn with fanfic if not to reach the comfort and relief #which is what has gotten me this far #but #uh #yeah haha #I underestimated the hurt in hurt/comfort this time around #time to go draw/read some fluff because agh #I'll have to finish this later #I was so close to catching up too --

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#good omens #´hello friends!! how are you!! #I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey #usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from #most of the time I just get a stuffy nose #has my nose gotten stronger #but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁) #it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet #but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (: #and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors #I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set #the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer #but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet #unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home #which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car

[blueskittlesart]

ok it’s not the russian it’s not the piss it’s not the lesbians it’s not even the tumblr app camera so i’m now forced to conclude that tumblr just has it out for specifically ekaterina и svetlana и link

#and it was an INSTANT flag too which i STILL don’t understand. what in that post set off the algorithm so fast #that post has gotten far enough away from me now that people think I added the label which is INSANE because no human being would do that #and i have yet to get a support ticket response and the post is STILL not even showing up as eligible for appeal. pain #personal

[ltlemon]

started a new podcast

#the first episode was really rough but it has potential #and its improving I think #some minor inconsistencies and plot holes are kinda bugging me and some of the sound design is kinda eh #but I do like arthur's dynamic with the entity #anyways. come eat lobster with a monster. #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #y'know what I ship them sure why not-i havent even gotten that far #but having another man in your body is kinda gay #oh also the first doodle was a slight study of @ImerIms design for him #which is how I found the show #lemon's art tag

[bougiebutchbitch]

bad nerve day and legs keep seizing up and not working but I have cat on lap sooooo who's winning really

#disability #yayyyyy cat #.........he is getting frightied by my leg jerks tho alas #is my cat.... ableist....... (joking I'm joking) #I absolutely LOVE (/s) that three medical professionals so far have said 'well there is clearly something neurological going on' #'your reflexes are fucked and you have a lot of muscle weakness/spasticity/foot drop/etc' #'but we can't know for sure how much of that is due to hEDS spine/leg joint damage and how much to a separate neurological cause' #'soooo let us know when it gets worse and we will investigate further!' #despite me telling them each time IT HAS GOTTEN WORSE. like. okay. :/ #just what I need on top of all the other shit #the trouble is hEDS + spinal injuries & instability means I have so many fucking nerve problems #I got flat out told they'd think seriously about MS if I DIDN'T have hEDS which just. Sigh. #I know the problems my hEDS causes and I'm 90% sure this isn't one of them so. the endless fun of being a 'complex' medical case

[pine-arten]

i genuinely kept forgetting to post these

i'm pretty burnt out on drawing, so i decided to end the cringetober challenge. as much as i would like to complete it, i would die

day 16 (objecthead) day 15/18 (song lyrics/old art redraw)

i got through halfway the month, which is honestly still a win for me.

look here for a cropped version of the redraw, and the original picture

#pinemartart #cringetober 2023 #oc: freak #wc oc #i've not gotten this far in month challenges like this so . still a win #i've lost motivation to continue it though. but i like a lot of the art that has come out of it! #not sure what else to say tbh #i put a lot of detail into the redraw #and it's like. one of the only times i've actually drawn a background semi recently #i want to get better at backgrounds tbh #i also went off with the shading. but tbh something about it seems weird #maybe it's just because i've looked at it way too long #i want to learn how to do more uhh. painterly rendering #where it's more all on one layer .... and stuff like that #but idk where to start or anything #if i find a way to painterly render sketches then it's over. my shading skills + good rendering would kill everyone #while drawing i tend to seperate stuff in different layers a lot. it just makes it easier for me #but that works for more uuhhh. sharp cell shading and toony styles #or where there is clear distinction between things #which i like . but i also want to try painterly stuff #i'm still not sure how to go about it

[thebirdandhersong]

But where do I put all this love? It's inside of me, growing and festering and threatening to explode out of me. Who do I give it to now? Where does it go? Where does it go to fade away? Where does it go to die a quiet death? There isn't a pair of familiar hands to receive it anymore, and no longer a welcoming mailbox waiting with its mouth open. Where does it all go and where should I put it? Who do I love now, the way I loved that boy?

#what a headache this is. i dont love him anymore which is just as well because oftentimes that ish HURT. #but whose hand do i hold who do i cook dinner for who will turn to me with laughter in their eyes #like they know i understand the joke who will hold the umbrella so far over my head their whole sleeve gets wet #who do i send letters to while full knowing i'll never get a response but still hoping for one who will wink at me across #the dinner tablr who will walk me home who will i think of while im dancing in the kitchen #who will i make tea for who will i agonize over while planning birthday and Christmas gifts #who will i love the same way? where do i put this mountain of love #what do i do with all the little specific ways i learned to love #and who will love me when the only person who has ever looked and me and said i love you and i want to cherish you #was also the person who made me feel like an afterthought a sincere but directionless fling #who made me feel undesirable and unseen and unwanted? i have never felt so unwanted the way i felt at the very end #anyway this is probably a sign that im up way too late anyway what is the point in wondering lol #since breaking up with the boy i have shot my shot with four other friendly candidates #and have been gunned down by disinterest or unfortunate barriers #since breaking up with him four of my friends have gotten engaged and one has begun a new promising relationship #and four others are pregnant. when will i not have to examine my heart #and see the ugliest kinds of covetous resentful thoughts and feelings and be like #ah yes this is not a healthy response #also no wonder the only boy who ever thought you were worth loving never loved you fully and completely #he signed up for what he thought was a beautiful heart a beautiful mind a beautiful soul no wonder he was disappointed

[perenlop]

seen both episodes of horizons now and holy fuck

#i was so used to being bored w jn tbh but this series already has me really hooked??? #liko is a really well realized character and no scene feels wasted everything feels carefully set up #the tone is also so good like liko and am’s silent conversation when he finds her hiding on the ship??????? #it was SO good and i like what theyre setting up with the new pokemon and i love the airship setting #i was nervous when eve told me it was another ‘’travel the world hub’’ deal but unlike jn #theres like an even spread of pokemon from other regions #and not only that but pokemon that havent gotten too much love in general like alolan muk snorunt and carkoal #speaking of which THIS WAS CARKOALS FIRST APPEARANCE??? #its also still being good w all of the starters too like so far fuecoco’s been the latest to show up #and it still has adequate screentime and personality to it #literally the only thing im hmmm abt is more charizard favoritism but like. i can forgive it with how even everything is #and i love that pikachu is their boss AND IT HAS VOLT TACKLE. BABYGIRL I MISSED YOU #what i was also worried abt was that theyd try to make it as close to ash and pikachus journey as possible #like same dynamic same setup same pikachu character (not really but same personality) #but no!! its all totally shaken up and the stuff that DOES evoke the original is still clever #and stands on its own!! like oh my god i cannot say enough how pleasantly surprised i am with horizons #i wasn’t pessimistic but i was like ‘’ill like it bc its pokemon regardless but wont be going crazy over it’’ #but im like. SO anxious for the next episode now bc SPRIG :( #but like oh my god it all stands out. the character design the characters themselves the pokemon the animation the artstyle the music #the story the tone the setup like EVERYTHING is so good here #echoed voice

[silverior968]

Transformers Prime is such a funny show when it's not being viscerally horrifying. Which is to say that my friends and I finally got to the episode I've dubbed "Viktor Arcane Any% Speedrun"

#not art #text post #Transformers prime #I would claim this episode had a lasting effect on me as a kid and is the reason I liked Viktor so much #But 10yo me had no media skills I thought this episode was cool as hell #Which might be for the better tbh #“It's my favorite episode” I say with genuine tears of distress in my eyes #Anyways to all my followers who don't know what I'm talking about: watch the show I promise you won't regret it #Every person I've gotten to try watching it has liked it a lot so far

[popissue]

ppl will be like oh im so crazy im so feral im just a fucked up little creature that craves violence but could all of these same folks listen to an ocd individuals worst intrusive thoughts without recoiling and accusing them of being a terrible person ... idk pookie !

#as someone who has stumbled across many fucking people that felt like they needed to idk #exaggerate their own experiences w mental illness to make me feel... less alone? or really make themselves feel less alone #not sure which #but its this weird type of cherry picking like which mental health issues ppl are actually okay with accepting in another person #idk man i just think ppl dont realize how far behind we really still are lol #for the most part i just dont pay mind to a lot of it but sometimes the memes have me sitting here like :)))) bc damn #ill never know what its like to not be in a constant state of managing my symptoms & in a lot of situations ill just never win #bc some ppl will misunderstand and misrepresent me no matter what i do or how i present myself #and you'd think there would be more understanding sometimes atp #idk random venty bc my anxiety and intrusive thoughts have gotten so bad recently #void

[pepprs]

last few hours in boston :(

#purrs #conference tag #we literally just got here and now we have to go 😭💔 i havent rly felt as enriched by this conference as i have in the past (though there���s #still 2 more sessions to go to incl the closing plenary and we’re getting lunch in the station before the train ride home) but ive walked #around so much and have spent time with people i love and some people i miss. and have been on adventures i have been looking forward to for #a rly long time though i am kinda bummed i never made it down to fanueil square. but… idk what happiness feels like anymore but maybe for me #it’s just absence of misery and despair. or contented ness. i have gotten a little triggered from time to time these last few days and ive b #been lonely in my hotel room but MAN it has been nice to not be miserable and suffering and to take walks and to not go to every session (ev #even though i do feel bad abt it like i missed 2 plenaries and an afternoon concurrent session which is more than i usually miss) and to #be in this city which feels so much like brighton and so uncity like in some ways. it’s so charming and omg i went to harvard and it was #NOTHING like what i imagined it to be / feel like.. just a quaint artsy quirky town. and the rest of the places ive been have been like that #too. and people LIVE here every day!!!!! there’s a big beautiful world here both above ground and below!!!! and im gonna be late to #breakfast but… i just feel nourished and healed in a way i wasn’t expecting to. I haven’t been this far away from home in 3+ years and #it’s just been really nice being somewhere else and going on adventures and seeing things surviving. i miss my grandparents a lot and im sad #to not be visiting them and to be unable to visit them now lol but it’s just rly nice and special being here. im goingto miss it so much and #im trying to savor every second. i wish we had one more day here and im a little sad to be going home lol #* what i meant when talking about happiness earlier is that i think… i have been happy these last few days. for the first time in a really #really long one. and that’s nice. it’s good to be happy again. and good to be here

[freeforaugust]

Communicate like an adult and get results :)

#one the best things I've learned to do in the last five years is advocate for myself #new people took over the kennel I contract at and they haven't been giving me any of the boarding nail trims #I've been a little miffed about it but didn't say anything bc I assumed it was a money thing - if I do the nail trim I get commission #but if a kennel tech does it they don't get commission #today I caught them with a special baby of mine tho and they had just gotten started so I said #I'm supposed to be the only one who does her nails #and the tech was thrilled bc she doesn't like doing nail trims anyway #so after that I pulled myself together and said something to the manager about how the old owner had me do basically all of the nail trims #and he goes #great! #we all hate doing nail trims #and I ended up with 3 today and 2 tomorrow which is an extra $25 in my pocket so that's awesome #i really have found just talking about things like an adult (calmly and rationally) can get you the things you want most of the time #ig bc I grew up with a parent who would sometimes snap at me just for speaking I always expect the worst reactions from people #but so far I've found I almost always get the best #and even when I don't get what I want #nobody has yelled at me for asking

[timeloopedd]

this is just miscellaneous now

#<- becaus my younger dave design is in there #hm yeah i think my thoughts had junerezi intentions for the first one #also i think chica and sun would be best friends #uhh headcanon time! #to me momiji is genderfluid and akito is a transwoman #i need to continue reading to actually understand and how to go about her and tohru’s relationship #it’s like! yeah fb is basically those stories where the main character helps the characters and tells them #‘hey. you’re doing fine. no need to put yourself down PLEASE don’t put yourself down. i wish you could see what i see in you thatswonderful #<- ran out of space #it’s cheesy but god i love it to death #maybe it’s also nostalgic factor because my friend showed this to me in middle school #but i think between tohru and akito it wasn’t that simple and straightforward #it never really was between all the other characters either but i feel like they were more easier to talk with #as far as i know (which isn’t a lot and also i might’ve skimmed some stuff from wikia (which is a horrible place to get facts) oops) #akito has a pretty toxic ideation based on her upbringing. and she is very stubborn #but that’s where i’ll stop for now with my headcanons because again i haven’t finished or gotten to the other major parts of the story yet #also i forgot to add bi tohru real to me #homestuck #batim #fruits basket #fnaf sb #dsaf

[elytrafemme]

posting actively anti KOSA stuff on my instagram account which i know is followed by at least one person who is explicitly pro KOSA... who i also work with...

#nightmare.personal #his post regarding it is deleted so i hope he has changed his mind but #man. you have GOT to understand the harm KOSA is going to do #when will people stop looking at censorship as something where you can throw exceptions at it #and expect it to work #if you give them the power to make the internet safer then you give them to power to make the internet more unsafe #& if you look at our cultural context... well. you have three guesses to figure out which it's going to fucking be #it's ALWAYS 'oh we shouldn't censor... EXCEPT' and 'oh this is illegal... EXCEPT' #how are the people going to find out they're exceptions? how broad are these exceptions going to go? #i know playing with absolutes is a dangerous game and censorship is CONTENTIOUS on this site #but holy shit i am begging these people-- begging this man really-- to realize what we're working with here #i have been irreparably scarred by the internet but the terrifying thing about it is #the places that scarred me looked alike to the places that healed me #overwhelmingly queer spaces in both conditions #and so i can sympathize with the terror but also you cannot strike out what hurt me without effectively taking out #what has gotten me this far. that's not something we can do as people. #i wouldn't trust myself with that #and i most certainly would not trust the government.

[theodore-sallis]

“The Gift of Death,” Man-Thing (Vol. 1/1974), #8.

Writer: Steve Gerber; Penciler and Inker: Mike Ploog; Colorist: Petra Goldberg; Letterer: Artie Simek

#Marvel #Marvel comics #Marvel 616 #Man-Thing vol. 1 #Man-Thing 1974 #Man-Thing #Ted Sallis #Cover Gallery #oy…it has been….far too long since I’ve posted here #and I can’t thank those of you who stuck around enough 💚🖤 #started a new job which took a lot out of me and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little burnt out #after posting my way through my Moon Knight and Scarlet Spider read throughs #but gosh!!! It’s gotten to the point where I miss pulpy comics again #and this dear mossy friend of course has lived rent free in my mind for months #and while I know a bit better now than to make promises I really do intend to keep up this blog #it’s just the pacing I can’t really promise at this point alsjdhsk #so yeah thanks again y’all! #anyway…what a cover to come back on hahaha #and it’s a real corker of a Man-Thing comic #it’s got everything: questionable Florida-based folk lore #even more questionable uses of science #those who would try to unfairly profit off of science losing what little humanity they have and then catching on fire #fun stuff #also real telling that the cover artist couldn’t be bovvered to get the main female character’s hair color right #even though she was in the previous comic too #aaaaaah the 70’s