#which makes me very happy tbh

[andorerso]

amas veritas: chapter 5

“When are you gonna tell him you’re a witch?” he asked on the phone as Jyn poured coffee into a mug, waiting for Cassian to arrive. She wasn’t nervous… Really. It wasn’t like her to be nervous. But Bodhi provided an easy distraction that she was grateful for. “Not yet,” she insisted before taking a sip of her coffee. Kyber was slumbering on her favorite kitchen chair, and Jyn brushed a hand across her back as she passed her to take a seat. “When it gets serious.” “The more you wait, the worse it’ll be.” “Oh, hush. It’s still early, we haven’t even slept together yet.” But if all went well… “But you like him.” “I like him now. You know how I am, Bodhi, I get bored and move on.” Though it was hard to imagine getting bored with Cassian whose simple presence seemed to invigorate her in a way she hadn’t known anybody to. And Bodhi, of course, wasn’t buying it either. He knew her too damn well, the bastard.

chapter five | from the beginning

#rebelcaptain #my fics #practical magic au #happy halloween!! <3 #im not sure im quite satisfied with my actions scenes yet but i feel like im getting a bit better at them? #which makes me very happy tbh #hopefully im not just imagining it agfdhfgdhgf

[stealingpotatoes]

hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)

#cal kestis #bd 1 #jedi fallen order #jfo #star wars #my doods #anyway HOLY CRAP YOU MEAN STAR WARS WAS ALLOWED TO BE GOOD BEFORE ANDOR (2022-)??????????????? AND I DIDNT KNOW?? #i love cal i loved the story i love how cinematic and amazing it looked good lord #i don't think i've ever played a game which gets such an amazing sense of scale across #like all the great temples or fallen starships were just Wow #like bracca ALONE gobsmacked me. seeing all these things i grew up watching in tcw as wreckage was like Ough Wow and THEY FELT SO HUGE #im just. wow!! #and THAT FINAL MISSION HUH. MOST FEAR INSPIRING VIDEOGAME ENCOUNTER EVER #my only criticisms are the awkward navigation/ level design in some areas and maybe the ending felt a bit lackluster somehow #i say somehow bc i dont get how lol #the reason im making this post past midnight is bc i got off work at 10pm and then immediately had to finish it LOL #anyway big heart emojis im very happy i sat down and actually played it finally #i want jedi survivor now LOL unfortunately it costs money and i have a rule i never buy games in release year lol #tbh i never rlly buy games til they're £20 or less

[marshmallowgoop]

no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)

#detective conan #case closed #amv #my amvs #eye strain #heiji hattori #harley hartwell #conan edogawa #shinichi kudo #funimation english dub script #video #happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'! #while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?) #it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real #it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺 #and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up' #but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project #it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster! #which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results! #to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio #video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds #but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now #but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!) #i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten #and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it! #thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333 #like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3 #but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522 #and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol #i'm sorry i've been so absent lately! i hope to be more active now... and there are 2 completely done amvs that i'm just waiting to post...

[prince-liest]

Not only has 666 become like my favorite fanfic series ever, but it’s helped me learn so much about my own asexuality. Every time you release a new chapter I realize another things about myself and how alastor and I are scarily similar in this. It’s helped me feel kind of seen with me constantly being torn in how I feel about things. I feel less weird and more able to talk about it y’know? The way you write it just clicks for me. You genuinely have made such an impact in how I view sex and myself and I know you’re just like a random person online but thank you so much for your writing 💪

Aw, I'm so glad to hear that! A lot of the process of writing 666 has been similarly an exploration of the various concepts in it for me, so I'm really happy that the topic of aroace sexuality not only feels genuine but also relatable in it. It's kinda funny, because obviously the characters involved are, like, deranged little freaks, but it's because they're deranged little freaks that I'm having so much fun freely writing whatever I want with them, which turned out to leak into feeling very free to write about the aroace aspects as well! Hard to feel self-conscious about writing an ace character when he's also out here, like, eating human flesh and getting electrocuted near to death for the kicks. And all jokes about that aside, the actual acts might be insane, but the underlying emotions are genuine.

So from one random person online to another, thank YOU for reading and I'm really happy to hear that I've brought this bit of joy and introspection to your life! <3

#ask #personal #urlocal-cryptid7 #t #I am not the same flavor of aroace as Alastor #but I am DEFINITELY using him to work through my own feelings in many aspects #which is part of why this series is consistently from his POV instead of Vox's tbh #therapizing myself and accidentally therapizing half my readers out here hahaha #aroace #anyway asks like this make me very happy to receive <3

[earlgodwin]

From your obedient brother, Juan. Duca di Gandía. Valencia, October 13, (1493) // From your brother who loves you as he loves himself, César Cardinal de Valencia. Rome, April 18, (1494)

#why are juan and cesare's real letters to each other so sappy i'm yelling #cringe yet highkey adorable i can't lie. another reason why i'm convinced it was joffre who killed juan because he was fucking sancia #but the again cesare was fucking sancia too so like idk. juan's murder stays a mystery i guess. maybe the orsinis? #the show used cesare's signature to juan in a negative context which makes it spicier tbh love me some rivalry #of course i'd use david and francois' juan and cesare lol like i'm sorry but their chemistry as bros is so crazy #in case it wasn't clear...the 1st pic is juan's letter to cesare and 2nd pic is cesare's letter to juan #“which i am all the more happy for the very great love i have for you” oh okay cesare!! #juan borgia #cesare borgia #the borgias #david oakes #francois arnaud #house of borgia #borgia #perioddramaedit #period drama #renaissance #juan and cesare #theborgiasedit #by jen

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

Honestly it was less so about actually leaving the monarchy than the choice for Wille to leave the monarchy, that makes it all the more powerful.

#he chose himself #he can advocate for the mental health for young people (as simon suggested and obviously supports which AHHH MY HEART) #and in turn help himself #like he chose simon already in s2 finale #that was done already imo #he chose his own stability (which good!!! he should!!!) and in turn that will make wilmon stronger 🥹 #like simon deserves a stable partner!!! and wille realized that #he wants a partner that will choose to take care of himself!! #and i love love loveeee that simon wanted wille to leave that place because of HIMSELF like he’s the bestest boy #and wille knows this #like i’m not sure how long a*gust will truly be able to hang in there tbh….he did NOT look happy (good). #who knows what will happen (open ended!) #but it matters now because wille really needs to work on himself like i love him very much but that is not a stable boy and it hurts me #on a personal anxiety-likened level 🧠 #but there is hope. #but one day…one day. ❤️‍🩹 #prince wilhelm #wilmon #young royals #wille my beloved 💜

[driftwooddestiel]

I DID MY COMEDY PERFORMANCE TODAY!!! in front of like 200 people!!! and i didnt stutter or forget what to say!!! and people laughed!!!

#i wasnt THE funniest other performances got better reactions but that was largely because the people performing were popular #point is people laughed !! two girls i barely know came up to me after and said i was really good! (thank you nikita and i forgot your name #and according to one of my friends some mullets were making fun of me during my thing and then a popular girl behind them was like #hey stop dont do that #so thats cool #and the girl whos lockers next to mine also complimented my comedy thing after so that was nice #+ one of the other ppl performing who i used ro be super good friends with (years ago) was very engaged and laughing which was nice :-) #we may not be close friends anymore but yk its nice to still get along 👍 #also two of my friends also performed and they did well too ‼️ it was very cool #anyway im very proud of myself for being able to perform in front of that many people cos i have literally never done that #the last time i spoke to an audience of more than 30 people was year 4 assembly and that was like 100 ppl max #so yea im very happy lol. especially considering that the past three years weve been doing persuasive speeches instead of comedy #(comedy was introduced this year to try it out instead of persuasive speeches) #and for the past 2 years ive done my speeches to just the teacher and a few friends cos i dont like giving persuasives to the whole class #(which i still feel tbh) but like. i can do comedy and play a character in front of an audience! which is pretty awesome

[heartsburst]

WHY MUST I ALWAYS GET INTO THE SADDEST FUCKING SHIPS WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF

#frankie yells #like fucking. sure any ship can be made sad if you try harder enough but also. fucking. why must it always be tragic little gays #im not complaining but also i keep fucking doing this to myself man why do i keep making myself sad over fictional gays 😭😭 #like do i just only interact with the shit that makes me sad??? do i only really get engaged with sad fics etc. for them???? #is this a me problem???? #like. um. griddlehark. destiel. hannigram (sort of). ash/eiji. satosugu. aziracrow. zukka (in certain directions). shory. aaronneil. #most of my ao3 bookmarks are me sobbing my eyes out... #OH WAIT ALSO FUCKING. REDDIE 😭😭😭😭😭 I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOME BUT OMG REDDIEEEE #me like what if none of the mfs had a happy ending together? what then? #like babygirl are you okay??? why do you always want to be so sad?? #oh god also fucking [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]... both of which i had to stop reading fics for bc i was making myself too sad #like genuinely there is a certain very long fic that i had to put down bc i was making myself depressed #OHMYGOD I FORGOT WANGXIAN AND BINGQIU.... honestly mdzs and svsss in general... kicking my feet 1 moment and sobbing the next #there are sooo many ships in both of those that make me so very sad... too many to remember or list atm tbh #i should go to bed 💀 lmao #it's too late for this nonsense ans i shouldn't have been watching destiel and hannigram compilations in the first place... of course im #just making myself sad...

[healingheartdogs]

Cardio said my echocardiogram ultrasound, exercise stress test, and week long heart monitor all showed no serious issues, my resting heart rate is fine, but that my heart rate does seem to rise very rapidly under even small amounts of stress (postural changes, taking stairs, casually walking around my house) and rises very high (160+ bpm according to the monitor) so now I get to be put on beta blockers to see if they work and if they do she said that is sufficient evidence to confirm for sure that it's POTS.

Obviously could confirm it as well with a tilt table test but those are TORTURE based off what I've heard from fellow POTSies so I am very thankful that she doesn't think that's necessary and will not be making me do one.

#i was not expecting to get dx and meds this fast tbh but im very happy about it #i think the fact that she also has POTS herself helps because she is very well acquaintaned with what it looks and feels like #and how hard it is to actually catch with orthostatics in office unless youre having a bad heart day #so my orthostatics not being within range was unsurprising to her and she was like #'that doesnt mean anything you clearly still have a heart rate issue going on even if it didnt show itself right now' #i didnt do shit the entire week i had that monitor on to like physically exert myself but my heart rate still hit almost 170 a few times #also the doctor who did my stress test asked me if i ever experience any chest discomfort or pain and i was like hm no dont think so #and he went 'your chart says you have palpitations though?' #and i was like '... those count as discomfort???' akdjaicidjwjcjsn the answer is yes apparently #im just so used to them now because i have them daily that they dont even really register to me anymore #unless theyre bad enough to knock the wind out of me or make me cough #they just make me anxious which... ig is also a form of discomfort #chronic illness and chronic pain problems though lol not having a normal baseline for discomfort and pain #ndr #not dog related #health stuff #not that anyone probably cares lol but im excited about getting things that have neen affecting me for years FINALLY figured out #im not crazy im just disabled!!!! #*been

[tcfactory]

What do you think about the whole rapist Bingqiu situation? You made a comment about it under one of your posts.

Okay, this is going to be a bit long. The tl;dr. is: I really don't care either way tbh.

On the comment I kinda jumped the gun a bit, because I recently got my hands on the books (finally, they were supposed to get here in December) and I read the extras first, because I haven't read them before and was too curious about them. And I really quite dislike the Wedding extra, but I dislike it because I don't enjoy how MXTX writes sex scenes in general, not because of anything it's about. Is the scene rape? Eh no, on second read Shen Qingqiu never withdraws his consent, despite having a shit time. Having a bad first time w/ shit communication is not a crime, especially between these two idiots.

Would Binghe have stopped if he did withdraw his consent and outright told him to stop? I don't really think so, no. Like, you can say all you want about Shen Qingqiu never being direct with what he wants and playing hard to get and wanting to be coaxed along with this gay shit, but that's something we, the readers, know. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember it ever being established as something that Binghe knows for sure - and with how hot and cold Shen Qingqiu was to him all this time, how he still hides behind his masks even at the end, I don't think "I just assumed you were playing hard to get" is good enough. So the possibility of him hurting Shen Qingqiu despite not meaning to is still very much there. Ignoring the withdrawal of consent is still rape regardless of Binghe's intentions - and we all know how deep Shen Qingqiu can get in his own head when he thinks about denying Binghe something he feels that 'the protagonist deserves' now that he regards himself as the harem stand-in, he would not fight him off if Binghe seems adamant to have him even if he says no.

And honestly that's fine. It's one of those things they need to work on post-canon. You could write a pretty neat hurt-comfort fic around it imo, of Binghe getting so jealous one day that he falls in that pitfall, and the reparations and open direct communication they need to do afterwards. Or just ignore it altogether, let Binghe's protagonist halo prevent any serious misunderstanding in the future. These are characters, not real people. Their dynamic is weird enough that you can just as easily write them a happy post-canon relationship or a situation where their respective habits of hiding their true selves from each other and Shen Qingqiu unintentionally encouraging the worst in Binghe culminates in something awful down the line. Nobody actually gets hurt one way or the other.

#shut up tc #tw rape mention #svsss #I don't much care to dig too deeply into Bingqiu tbh #because they are not really the type of characters I enjoy writing #shen yuan bless his heart is a fun narrator but he would give me an aneurysm if I tried to write his pov #so yeah. I'm kinda side eying people who are like obnoxiously loud about policing how others are supposed to feel about this #there seems to be this air of denial about Bingmei still having this festering darkness in him which just flattens his character to me tbh #Bingmei is still very capable (and oftentimes seems very willing) of hurting the people around him and is only restraining himself #because he wants to get together with SQQ and Binghe thinks he would disapprove and that's fascinating #why ignore that?? it's like 70% of what makes Bingmei interesting. anyway #I'm happy to stay in my lane and enjoy my own horrible blorbos #so I really don't care much at the end of the day

[evansbby]

#thanks everyone for all the kind messages #like seriously thank you #I guess it was one of those things where I was having a really shitty week and then I came on tumblr and just the one thing set me off #and affected me way more than it usually would have #this past week was good for me though #I had three interviews and two of them were for jobs I really really want #and one of them is my dream job so hopefully I get it! #but even if I don’t… I genuinely think the interview went really good like all three of them! so I’m happy for that like #it gave me more practice #anyways with five days away I guess I made my point lmfaooooo #I was angry and upset but tbh anon hate is nothing new and it’ll keep happening sooooo #I was genuinely touched by all the sweet messages! #and also laughed at the ones which were just begging me not to leave poyt unfinished 😂😂😂 like I love the honesty there #but I laughed in a touched way bc I understand that even those asks came from a good place like the intention was good #ANYWAYS yes I was very very upset but this week went good for me so I’m in a much better place #I guess I’m going through a very rocky time irl so it’s making me more sensitive to small things that didn’t affect me before #like anon hate I mean usually I honestly find it entertaining and funny 😶😶😶 #but yeah that one thing got to me but whatever!!! we move #anyways how r y’all! #I’m free this weekend so I’ll be active on here as usual hehe

[crplpunkklavier]

if you can't afford a packing jockstrap or can't buy one for whatever other reason btw you can buy regular jockstraps for cheap (sometimes they even come in 3-packs) and sew a piece of scrap fabric to the inner front to keep your packer in. mine look like shit so i'm not gonna do like a tutorial or example pics but it's super simple. also if you can't afford a packer you can crochet one (link leads to ravelry pattern) and fill it either with fiberfill or potentially something heavier. pure cotton won't give you the sense of heaviness a regular packer would give you but for the visual alone it absolutely works and the best part is the size is fully customizable. i made a stupidly huge one just so i can still have a bulge in my big dumb cargo pants. go forth be trans mwah i love you

#i had THE WORST packing jockstrap for the longest time that came with my packer that ive had for ages #which is also kind of bad tbh. i want a new one but for now ive just slipped it into a crocheted one lol #also the crochet pattern is very simple!! its actually what got me back into crocheting a while ago hehe #oh yeah anyway i stopped packing some years ago because that cheap jockstrap was so dumb and uncomfortable #but once i had that revelation that i can make my own i pack every day and its made me really happy

[dykeinthedark]

thinking thoughts about claus mother 3

#(spoilers in tags pls do not read if u plan on playing mother 3) #hfhdjfhsjdhfsd GOD like i didn't even cry when he died. i couldn't cry i was just SHOCKED. filled with DREAD. #did not even have time to process it enough #it makes me so insane though because... he was so happy :( he was a happy goofy little kid. and tbh i think that his mother's death #affected him a LOT more than he let on... bc lucas cries in his room for days and flint lashes out in grief but claus turns to revenge #with absolutely NO regard for his own life. like idk it's just giving very much kid who just learned about the realness of death #and that's why i think that his first instinct was to shoot the lightning at the end... it was blank faced and emotionless and intentional #he WANTED to kill himself instead of living as a soulless machine. which is so heartbreaking actually #mother 3 #edit: also lucas is literally the strongest character of all time bc wtf

[rabb1ttrash]

they were absolute menaces as padawans and you can’t take that away from me

#obi wan kenobi #quinlan vos #obiquin #quinobi #if you wanna interpret it like that #they are very chaotic and it makes me very happy #star wars #the clone wars #sw tcw #ive been speed drawing stupid stuff like this instead of doing my assignments #which might be due very soon and i have not started and equal 25-50% of my grade #its going great #i love rambling in tags #the fact i cant remember ever actually drawing obiwan is wack i think im just scared of drawing facial hair tbh #it seems very hard and i am not adventurous #ill figure it out at some point #hes not even got a beard as a padawan wtf am i talking about

[elegyofthemoon]

some work stuff thats been on loop in my head all week

so i think most of this week minus today, i've sorta accepted that i'm just riding a dying dream. that's mostly why everything feels very unreal these days just bc i wanted to distance myself from it i think. that at the end of this, i'll just fail again and then i'll fail out and that'll be it for me and i'll somehow magically pick up the pieces and sort my life out in some different way with the numerous backup plans i have saved for myself

but i'm still on top of stuff. i'm doing what i'm supposed to, even if it's kinda painful to do thinking that all this effort will amount to nothing in the end.

i get asked to review a new patient who came in the night prior to present to the other doctors, and i go and do that. i get to know the patient and try to figure out whats going on. i go and do my physical exam and all that, and at the end, when im trying to wrap things up, she stops me just to say "you're such a sweet and kind doctor. the other ones are so abrupt and dont listen to me"

i had to just kinda smile bittersweetly at that bc thats really all i want to be. i just want to take care of my patients and make sure they get the best help they can. i want to, but im no good medical student.

i thanked her again and left to go present the patient accordingly. the whole moment still sits with me a lot though and i just sorta play it on loop.

by character, i'm very much a caretaker. i love taking care of people and its always at the risk of overdoing myself - something i'm working on. if i could i'd do anything to keep up with this dream so that i can better help everyone. but i still find myself at a loss. i'm by no means smart. i just want to help however way i can, and if that means being in this position to do so, then i'm happy for it.

it just makes me sad because i'll meet the worst medical students - my peers - and i question and wonder and worry about the people who would fall into their care. i'm not saying i deserve their position. i understand i'm not smart enough to be where i am. heck, im even surprised i even got where i am tbh albeit i am also failing severely now lmao but it's just... it makes me sad that the smart people i meet are always so awful

at the very least, that moment with the patient was nice even if its bittersweet. it at least means that i was already where i kinda wanted to be as a person. i want to be there. and i want to take care of others because i care.

#i didnt know who to talk to #everyones offline which is fair bc its like near new years and all that so #here. #work logs #i promise after this though ill stop posting about all this nonsense #im just in a really weird state orz #i think after today though things will be happier #its mostly bc of my friend (i really have to thank both of them) #my friends are so nice and it was nice to just hang out again after so long theyre so cute when theyre being nice LMAO #both of them are very talkative which makes up for my Lack Of Talking #ill at least say this #i probably wouldnt be such an open person if it werent for the people i met at school #they say certain personalities gravitate to a certain profession and youre right! #i think all the people ive met their personalities kinda click w me and its honestly nice askdjafh #all my friends from school were the most supportive people ever and its like the first time ive actually stepped out of my little bubble #(i had some friends in undergrad but i spent majority of it alone tbh which also wasnt bad it just meant i worked on myself more) #but yeah #lets say this: even if everything just falls apart and we end everything with a bang #ill be happy with the journey anyways for the people i got to meet along the way #snow speaks

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel uninspired and lack motivation for art again so I thought of an ask game for me :)

Send me(or comment) a number from 1-34 and I will draw my corresponding oc

I mentally struggled over whether I should make this post, because ik ocs are niche and probably not many people care for it, but I realized I could have been using those hours to y'know. Actually draw something. So I might as well just post it

#i would do it with AUs but i would actually have to yknow think of a narrative #<- but tbh if you have any requests for au art i will take them 😭😭 #also w that and this i cant make any promises if ill actually finish them so please put up w me thanks 🙏 #i want to draw but #ive gotten into a bad mindset again #about measuring self worth w outside validation #which is very irritating 😾 stop it brain. #but yeah idk i reblog those posts often abt niche audiences #which im very okay w btw :) #but its still a very difficult thing to engrain that: ah people do care for my art! #and ik its unhealthy to seek validation #and i can and do draw for myself #but its not always fun to me if i cant discuss it yknow :/ #if catie makes a piece of art in a silent room does the art really exist? blah blah blah #i need to go suffocate myself in the snow #im happy my winter break is so long but at the same time i think it just puts me in a bad place mentally #lack of social interaction and lack of enrichment and no motivation ig :/ #and every night i mean to actually go to bed earlier and boom suddenly its 5 am #and i keep staying up in hopes ill actually yknow start something. art. writing. movie even #and then i just languish UGH #catie.rambling.txt