#while Austen judged him in the background | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chvrrybaby · 5 years

Text

*itzy vc* hey hey hey ! ( i see that i’m icy ) what’s up, i’m diana, i’m nineteen, and i’m ur resident girl group stan. i reside in the est timezone & go by the pronouns she/her. now, finally introducing ... loona !! jk, her name is blair & u can learn abt her under the cut ! my discord is lana del rey is coming <3#5522 ( stream her new album august 30th ), so feel free to message me there or through tumblr im’s if u prefer that ! otherwise, i’ll come to u <3

— kim doyeon. she/her. cis female. | was that blair ryu i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the nineteen year old spends most of their time working as a sugar baby/studying classic literature and women’s studies, but i’ve always just seen them writing in her dream journal. they live in 5A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of loosely curled hair, cherry lip gloss, the lingering scent of vanilla in the air.

( 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫. )

born on october 5th, 1999 ( this is literally a day before my bday ooc but anyway ajkdhsjdh ) in rochester, new york, blair’s first impression of the world was a crisp autumn day

she was her parents first and only child. her mother was an elementary school teacher, while her father worked at a nearby power plant in ontario

the family never made too much money, but they were able to get by, at least at first

she had a fairly happy childhood, though it was a lonely one. her father was always working odd hours, and with her mother gone during the day, she spent most of her time with a babysitter and the family golden retriever

eventually, she herself started going to school. she immediately excelled in the english department and fell in love with reading. blair realized early on how much she enjoyed escaping reality with a novel, immersing herself in a story so exciting compared to her dull life

almost everything was fine until her high school years. aside from the fact that she never had a present father figure, she was closer to her mom and still loved by both of her parents. however, when her high school years came around, her father lost his job

her father was the families main provider, and her mothers salary alone would not be enough to take care of the entire family. while he searched for another job, they had to give away the family golden retriever to one of blair’s aunts because they couldn’t afford the extra cost :(

on top of losing her beloved pet, the loss of her father’s job prompting the family to pick up and move their entire life

already in the midst of high school, blair had to leave her life as she knew it behind. the family moved to statesboro, georgia, and her father found a job at the nearby power plant

the transition to life in georgia was not easy for blair. though she didn’t exactly have trouble making friends, she didn’t feel like she could truly connect with anyone

once again, blair turned to losing herself in a book to pass the time

shortly after the move to georgia, her parents experienced some difficulties within their marriage. they ended up separating, and blair spent the remainder of her high school years living with each of them for half of the time

she did not mind her parents separating, as she knew it was for the best. however, her father found a girlfriend fairly quickly, and blair would eventually find out her father had been having an affair

her father spent most of his free time with his new girlfriend and her family. blair was upset at how he prioritized his the new people in his life over her when he was barely ever around for her growing up

meanwhile, her mother was having trouble adjusting to being alone, so she moved back to new york to live with her sister

blair stayed behind in georgia to finish high school, but knew she wanted to go elsewhere for college. she wanted to get as far away from her father and his new life as possible

once blair turned eighteen, she began to sell pictures for money. she wanted to earn as much as possible so she could afford to go away for university. she created an alias and began to sell pictures and videos of her feet. eventually, she expanded her horizons once she realized how much money she could earn

she never went as far as sleeping with her clients, but she would go on dates with them and spend the days with them to earn more money ( kind of like ludovica/chiara in the italian show baby on netflix minus sleeping w them )

she dated a few people throughout her high school years, and began to more “seriously” date a guy during her senior year in high school, though she knew the relationship wouldn’t last. despite appearing as a more serious relationship, to her, it wasn’t really anything of the sort, and she mostly wanted a relationship for senior prom and other trivialities

after senior year ended and she had accepted admission into uni in seattle, she basically cut ties with everyone in georgia aksdjskdjh she said good bye forever ! rip poor unnamed boyfriend he didn’t see it coming ...

her father also did not see it coming because she didn’t even tell him where she applied. but at the same time, did he ask ? no :/

once she left for uni, her relationship with her father became very very estranged. she still speaks to her mom on a pretty regular basis, but even then, she has a whole secret life and doesn’t feel particular close to either of them sjkdfhskdjh

and that’s that for background !

( 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀. )

blair is a libra sun leo moon ( rising sign & other placements tbd )

she is definitely a friendly/sociable person. she can be pretty outgoing and loves to be around people. idk her mbti yet but she is def an extrovert ! ( she does tend to keep her feelings to herself tho )

despite her friendly demeanor, she does have a fiery spirit. if u wrong her she will hold a grudge against u until it gets settled/sorted. she can be more on the mean side when she’s upset, but even then she does not have a bad heart at all

when it comes to relationships, blair is all over the place. she can be very flirty/charismatic and is constantly hopping from one relationship to the next. she hasn’t quite been able to settle down, but it is possible. she kind of thinks being in a real relationship means losing her freedom, because that’s kind of what she saw happen with her parents, so she doesn’t really want to be tied down to someone in fear of losing herself in a way. does this make sense ? maybe ? ok !

blair has a fairly strong sense of self, but she’s still very young so she’s still growing and changing. she is the type of person to know what she wants and go after it ( yes, even with ppl ! ). she will stop at nothinggg to get what she wants ( oop ). u could say she loves the chase, but kind of gets bored afterwards unless u have more to offer !

omg she literally loves 2 be the center of attention. i mean, who doesn’t love attention ? but blair takes it 2 another level. she gets all :( if she’s being ignored or isn’t receiving enough attention

kind of bouncing off the whole attention thing, blair loves a good party ! she’s young and here for a good time. she def loves to drink at parties and stuff even tho she isn’t legal here in the us, why should that stop her am i right ? when it comes to drugs, she’s a veryyy casual user and doesn’t do anything crazy. a social weed smoker n will do pills here and there

being a libra sun with a leo moon, i think it’s safe to say she can be a bit dramatic at times ( i mean, as a libra sun with a leo venus i am not one 2 judge xx ). she reads 2 much and watches 2 many movies like ajkdhsjkhd life rly isn’t that serious but she can b a lil overdramatic sometimes whew ! we told u this was melodrama ... lorde stans make some noise !

blair’s fav books are anything by jane austen and les liaisons dangereuses by pierre choderlos de laclos, aka the book cruel intentions was based on ( which happens 2 be one of her fav movies )

shows she loves: gossip girl ( she shares a name w blair so she probably used 2 call herself queen b in high school or something ), desperate housewives ( no wonder this binch is so dramatic ), big little lies, pretty little liars ( the early seasons only ), the netflix show baby, and buffy the vampire slayer

movies she loves: clueless, almost famous, thoroughbreds, moulin rouge, palo alto, marie antoinette, coyote ugly, american beauty, cruel intentions, and valley of the dolls ( to name a few )

her fav colors are pink, red, and white !

u can find her pinterest board here.

she is bisexual babey !!

( 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺. )

party buddies - this is pretty basic and self explanatory, but someone blair can go out and have fun with. their friendship might be more surface level, or started that way at least, but it’s possible they’re closer friends ( maybe she opened up under the influence and it brought them closer aksdhsdjh drunk blair def would )

ex-fling/gf/bf - blair relationship hops, so she could have quite a few of these. we can plot it however, there can b feelings there, they can hate each other, of they can be just friends now, u name it !

unrequited crush - ur character could have feelings for blair, but maybe she doesn’t feel them back or is unaware that they like her. this could develop into her eventually having feelings for ur muse or not, whatever we want ! OR blair could def have a crush on someone who does not like her back. maybe that person is super non-committal, or they simply do not like her back. we could plot this out however <3

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension!!! they started out hating each other, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways !

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs. being an only child and not really close to her parents, blair would love a friend that she could basically call family !

dynamic duo - basically like her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other

take care - someone who kind of looks after her ?? maybe when she parties a lil too hard and drinks a lil too much, someone who kind of takes care of her n makes sure shes ok ! they would be someone she trusts a lottttt

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they hate each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. i love a good enemies plot. they can just b nasty to each other !!! maybe they bring out a really bad side to blair that most ppl dont see. someone who makes her act like blair waldorf ( i’m def kidding abt the blair waldorf part )

bad influence - blair isn’t a goody-two-shoes by any means, but doesn’t really do anything crazy, so i’d luvv for someone to kind of influence her to do shit she normally wouldn’t on her own

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll prob make a plots page later on and add more stuff !

so this is everything !! this has taken me longer than it should have but i’m finally done whew,,, cheers 2 me <3 anyway i would absolutely luv to plot, so feel free to hit me up on discord or tumblr im’s, or i can also come to u ! i’m so excited to get started <333 i’m gonna b logging off now most likely, since it’s 3 am my time, but i’ll be back in the morning

#hide.intro #✧.° ░ 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒂 ╱ ooc.#i finally did it !!!!#pls someone tell me ur proud of me... <3

8 notes · View notes

janeaustentextposts · 5 years

Note

Do you think, if Austen had more time, that she’d have pursued the ramifications of Benwick marrying Louisa Musgrove, and the pain it brought to Harville? I remember reading that her death brought them closer than even the marriage would have, and he’s been living as a family member with them. But now he’s breaking Harville’s heart by marrying Louisa so soon. Will their friendship be broken? Was his income essential for the Harville’s finances and once he moves out they’ll be in trouble?

Not to doubt that Harville’s pain over the untimely loss of his sister is real, or to imply that Harville would Get Over It any time soon, but...I would think and even hope that he could be happy for his friend, if they’re so close as it is implied. If they were going to be brothers, and became a found family in the depths of their grieving, getting to grips with the sense that Benwick betrayed Fanny’s memory and love by attaching himself to Louisa is something that I think they’ll just have to work through. It would be messy and acutely painful for both of them, no doubt; but I would hope that their bond will survive it. I don’t think Benwick or Wentworth would allow the Harvilles to fall into poverty, with the friendship they have and the money that Wentworth and Benwick both possess, even if marriage would probably mean they set up an independent household.

My reading of Benwick hints that he might have been just as eager to attach himself to Anne, had she been longer in his company at Lyme, and talked to him of the books they shared an interest in. Benwick just seems to be one of those people more affected by circumstances, who craves that kindness and attention and very swiftly lets himself be affected by it--he is a fair example of a man perhaps too easily persuaded even by friendly compassion, to replace Fanny Harville with Louisa Musgrove, for all Louisa’s good points.

Then again, Fanny is dead. In all this talk of constancy, there must be a very real conversation about how long to hold on to impossible hopes. While Harville judges Benwick from the perspective of a grieving brother, and Wentworth and Anne may judge him from the perspective of people whose beloved still lives, even if they fear they may never return the same affections, none of them are Benwick. And I think only Benwick can decide for himself when and how he moves on. Is it healthy? I can’t say; but we have reason to suspect that Louisa and Benwick might be content, together--which is a happy enough ending, for any marriage, in Austen. With the depth of Benwick’s isolation and despair (subconsciously performative or otherwise,) can anyone really fairly judge him for finding a companion to love? I think he has an affectionate heart, and much as he was wounded by the loss of Fanny, there’s an eagerness in him to love again--to let himself be drawn out of his despondency and build a real life with someone.

Anne, herself, even upon meeting him for the first time, knowing only what she has heard of Benwick, thinks: “...he has not, perhaps, a more sorrowing heart than I have. I cannot believe his prospects so blighted for ever. He is younger than I am; younger in feeling, if not in fact; younger as a man.He will rally again, and be happy with another."

Harville delegates to Wentworth where he cannot bear to act--not only in the setting of Benwick’s portrait for Louisa, rather than Fanny; but even in breaking the news to Benwick of Fanny’s death. Wentworth is the one who does it, who stays with Benwick in the first and freshest moments of his grief.

When Mrs. Croft and Mrs. Musgrove speak of the evils of uncertain and long engagements, we cannot help but agree with them--and we already know the sad history of Anne and Wentworth’s break-up when Lady Russell persuades Anne that an uncertain engagement while they wait for him to gain a fortune is unwise. Benwick, more than anybody, has felt the evil of waiting--he was engaged to Fanny for years before her death, waiting until he could gain some prize-money. Is it any wonder that, when he finds he can feel affection again, he would prefer to marry, however hasty it may seem, than waver and wait, particularly now that Louisa’s health since her injury has altered her to a more delicate-seeming creature?

Anne and Harville’s debate about the nature of attachments between genders is a fascinating scene in the book, (not least because Wentworth is having an emotional breakdown on paper in the background,) but because Harville and Anne’s biases indirectly illustrate what may have happened with Benwick. Anne says “...so long as [men] have an object. I mean while the woman you love lives, and lives for you. All the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one: you need not covet it), is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone!”

Perhaps she is not meaning to justify Benwick, but she cannot help doing so, in making such a claim; and she’s right--Fanny can never console Benwick by returning to life. Wentworth falters in Bath because he suspects Anne to be engaged--or nearly--to Mr. Elliot. The examples of attachment we are shown in these men seems unable or unlikely to endure the irrefutable loss of the woman they love. “Jealousy of Mr. Elliot had...been vanquished at last by those sentiments and those tones which had reached him while she talked with Captain Harville...” where Anne’s insistence is that a woman’s feeling is not done away with by the perceived loss of her love. Then, Wentworth must scramble to reassure her of his own affection, that he has not truly wavered, and that she has not lost him so completely as she may believe.

Anne and Wentworth still had a chance. Benwick and Fanny don’t.

I think Harville must, in time, be reconciled to Benwick’s marriage, and see the overall good it will do his friend, rather than to let Benwick sink further and further under the weight of his loss. He and Wentworth seem aware that Benwick is deeply sensitive, and so how could they wish his suffering be prolonged, even as a compliment or honour to a dear, fine woman?

It’s raw and it’s hard, but these are men of action who have seen war, and I don’t think they could begrudge Benwick’s bid for love and happiness.

#Ask Me Anything Austen-Adjacent #AMAAA #Jane Austen #Persuasion #kungfunurse

66 notes · View notes

daddycardan · 5 years

Note

What's your most recommended book? Other than the cruel prince or sjm books... You know what, how about a list? In order from best to worst. 1- best, 10- worst

all righty, I’m not gonna lie here, I have actually… never read any SJM books. Haha, never. I don’t plan on doing it eventhough they sound really fun, but right now I’m trying to gravitate towards a little more… I dunno, quality literature, if you will? This sounds so hypocritical and snob ehhh especially from my Cruel Prince fanblog but asdhjkjss don’t judGE

ok for the list I went on goodreads and looked at my read book list and picked out the best ones, but I honestly can’t really rank them, they are all great so the numbers don’t really matter, but they are quite different in genre, most of them are not even YA, so bear that in mind

1. Game of Thrones series by George R. R. Martin - hahaha GoT is amazing its kinda brutal and its a heavy read, but it’s really worth it. I love the way GRRM builds plot and characters, it’s just so unique and very different from everything I’ve read before. The characters are just so real, and they all have their own background stories and motivations, and you literally have no fucking idea what’s going to happen, it’s so unpredictable I can’t handle it. Warning, it’s likely that your fave character is gonna die, prepare yourself. I haven’t seen the tv show but honestly the book is really really great. It’s one of the best series I have ever read. BUT if you can’t stand visual violence, rape, insides getting, um outside, well I wouldn’t recommend it then. Because there’s a whooole lot of that.

2. HaRRy Pottah by J. K. Rowling - do I even have to explain. HP isn’t just a book, it’s a fucking life changing magical journey that every child should go through, so if you haven’t yet, shut up and go read it. For real. Go, turn off your computer and start reading.

3. Nutshell by Ian McEwan - now this is a really interesting short novel. The thing that makes it fascinating is that it’s narrated by a baby. Who’s still in the womb. And it’s actually a Hamlet retelling, where the pregnant mother is having an affair with the father’s brother, and you know, the baby knows about it. And when mommy and the brother lover conspire to kill the father the baby can do basically nothing about it so it’s about the child’s inner dialogue and some deep philosophical thoughts while his mother and uncle commit the murder and how the baby tries to sabotage them. It’s not YA for sure, so if you want steamy romances or a sexy protagonist, this is not your book, but I really loved it and it’s just such an intellectual book with some nice Shakespeare and modern political references and honestly just reading the dumbass shit that Claude (the uncle, parallel to Claudius) says was so goddamn funny. There is some sex and swearing in it. And like, after reading it I felt like such a highly educated person, eventhough I’ve never read original Hamlet haha.

4. Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - dystopian post-apocalyptic novel, with some teenagers slaughtering each other, a cool protagonist with badass hunting skills, love triangle, rebellion, etc. Probably most of you have heard of it (if not already read it), it’s quite good, especially the first one, I personally wasn’t a big fan of 2nd&3rd, but it’s prob because I don’t like rebellions/civil wars for some reason? it’s good though!!

5. Angelfall trilogy by Susan Ee - ohohohh anGELS!! I used to be fucking obsessed with angels and demons (#FuckMeLucifer) and I’ve read every angel-themed YA book I could find, and this one was probably the most well-written. It’s set in a post-apocalyptic America (haven’t heard of that before) where angels are terrorizing humans and basically treat them like shit and this girl Penryn, her lil sister gets kidnapped by the angels, but in the fight this one handsome angel gets injured, they cut off his wings and she kidnaps him to her place and I think forces him to help her get her sister back (?) Turns out its Rafael the powerful archangel and of course he is hot as hell, so yeah its been a while since I’ve read it but I remember liking it, so if you’re into angels and some post-apocalyptic chaotic setting on top, you’ll probably like it

6. Mistress of Rome by Kate Quinn - so this one’s mainly about a Jewish slave in the Ancient Roman Empire and a lot of stuff happens to her and she ends up being the mistress of the crazy emperor Domitianus who tortures her and it’s basically following the life of all these different people with different social statuses in Rome, (slaves, gladiators, senators, wealthy wives, emperors, etc.) and it’s really interesting how the relationships are forming between them and the best part is that its historically aCCuRate! ! ! So if you’re into Ancient Romans, this is a good one. Trigger warning for sex, rape, emotional and physical violence. ;)

7. And then there were none by Agatha Christie - this is some nerve wrecking emotional shit, about a group of complete strangers invited into this island manor where they are slowly getting murdered one by one by this psychopath whose identity is… unknown. The murderer is one of them, and is playing this scary, childish, psychological game with the others, but i literally had no fucking idea who the (s)he is until the last few pages, and i couldn’t sleep for a few nights after reading it.

8. Jane and the Man of the Cloth by Stephanie Barron - so this is about Jane Austen, eventhough it’s not written by her, but it’s based on her actual diary and true historical events, so it’s pretty much an accurate description of that period of her life. I guess I would call it a historical murder-mystery because she solves a case that happened in the town she spent her holiday in, but the focus is not really on the ‘thrilling mystery’ part, but rather on the historical background (British-French conflict), social links between people, and yeah just gives you a nice little glimpse into her world. The book is part of a series but this one’s probably my fave bc Jane has this thing going on between her and this handsome mysterious man and a fucking loooved it!!

9. Jane and the Unpleasantness at Scargrave Manor by Stephanie Barron - this is part of the same series, i think it’s the first one, but you can read them in any order, and it deals with a similar murder case as the other one and hahaha it has another mysterious, kinda rude gentleman who has a little thing with Jane and in the end it doesn’t work out (Jane never married btw) but i’m a slut for those little moments and historical books are amazing so if u like history, or Jane, or that 1700-1800 era then go ReAd iT!

10. ummm i can’t think of anything else that i really enjoyed right now, so that’s it for the list. if any of you have any recommendations (especially if it’s something historical) pls let me know!!

#book recommendations

30 notes · View notes

quietdaysco · 5 years

Text

Primrose Path - Devlog #008

It's been a little crazy, but it's finally that time where we share the exciting things we've been up to. We hope you're ready!

Main Game Progress

Common Route:

Rough Outline: 100% ✔

Revised Outline: 100% ✔

Draft Script: 40k words

Scenes : 17* / 98

Since finalising the common route outline just a few months ago, we've continued to press on with the common route script, landing at a very comfortable 40,000 words. That's 19,000 more than last time! We're quite proud of this progress, given the fact that between work and part-time education, Primrose Path is being developed in our free time! Elm even had to revise scenes on her phone as she was away for half of the month!

While 40,000 may feel like a lot, we're not aiming for the common route to be any particular length. It may be worth noting that there are 98 possible scenes in the common route alone, but you'll probably only see a third of that in your first playthrough. Primrose Path is designed to evolve with your choices and this means the scenes you encounter will change.

On average, our scenes are 1,500 words of adventure and questionable life choices. We've been tackling interview scenes, interactive home scenes, and the infamous party scenes this month—all while fleshing out our lovable side characters.

If you took part in the pre-alpha, you may be surprised to find out how different the additional scenes and new characters are. But we truly believe we're taking this project in the right direction!

*Scenes are counted when they are ready for internal review, qualifying them as complete for the first draft.

Here’s our favorite unrevised draft snips from this past month:

His soft brown eyes take me in. I almost don’t notice the cautious press of his hand against the small of my back.

MATTHIAS: Take a moment to catch up with yourself.

He tucks his wipe away and leaves me hanging. Ok. I guess I’ll just run my hand through my hair and pretend that’s exactly what I planned. Cool.

Pique your interest? You don’t have to wait for one every month: we share more unrevised draft snippets in our Discord server. Join if you’d like to peep longer excerpts and chat with us over them!

Behind The Scenes

Somehow between drowning in words and having a life, we also found time to get down on some visuals:

Moodboards

Part of our process is nailing down a strong visual guide early in development. We've been focusing on character and background moodboards. The main goal is to be able to present a collage of images to anyone involved in the project and have them immediately understand what it is we're aiming for. It's also great for us, so we don't stray too far from the original vision!

Lynn Austen

Lynn Austen, better known as our nameable MC, now has a face! We're still in concept mode, but we definitely wanted a protagonist who felt visually acceptable to all kinds of players. We hope to be able to allow players to pick from a swatch of skin tones and hair colours to truly express themselves. We’ll be tweaking the exact tones as we go.

Bellarmino

Bellarmino LaFauci is a proud, visionary fashion designer and model—and a potential client. After writing some party scenes about the decorated host himself, Coda decided she’d scratch an itch and draw what was on her mind.

Here’s what she had to say about it:

“Yeah it’s just a sketch, but I wanted to capture the frigid air that comes with someone untouchable judging you. And that moment is as short as a breath. You don’t know if he’s thinking of you for better or for worse, but he’s seen your face now. He doesn’t forget.”

There will be more concepts for him in the future as we play around with a few facial details, makeup ideas, hair, and of course his bold fashion statements.

We’re focusing on monthly devlogs for our Tumblr, but we have to ask:

Are there other kinds of content and updates you folks would like to see here? We want to know! Shoot us a message in our Ask the Devs inbox here on Tumblr, or hit us up on Twitter, Discord, and Lemma Soft!

Thanks for reading! Remember to take it easy on your Quiet Days. ♥

Socials

- Micro-updates on Twitter! ♦ Factoids with Greyson! - Task tracking on GitScrum! - Live art development on Twitch! - Art logging on Instagram! - Ask us anything here! - Continue the discussion on Discord! - Master thread on Lemma Soft!

#devlog #primrosepathvn #visual novel #otome #indiedev #gamedev #oevln #primrosepath #character design #character concept

1 note · View note

sabrinasdrafts · 5 years

Text

“Pride and Prejudice"

First Impressions, is the original title of Pride and Prejudice, and it is what most people think the novel is about. But, it's really about second chances. Jane Austen is famous for her romantic novels set in Regency England, contrary to popular belief; Jane is more of a realist than a hopeless romantic. She has a firm grip on the necessities of real life and its demands. Pride and Prejudice follows the stories and lives of the Bennet family, with the second eldest daughter as the protagonist; Lizzie Bennet. As far as protagonists go, Lizzie belongs to the A-list. She's relatable to most people, because of her lively attitude, her sense of humor, she's everyone's best friend or the friend you wish you have. Readers feel instantly in love with Lizzie, her mind is active, and her voice is loud throughout the novel. And through the novel, Lizzie's process of thinking is felt, her ideas are told, reasoned with, and expressed through her actions, giving us a glimpse into her feelings.

The story starts with the arrival of a new family, into the neighborhood, which brings about the issue at play in the novel and at that time in 18th century England, where a young woman's main concern in life is to marry well. Jane Austen here offers a revolutionary premise that a woman can choose her own happiness over securing her future with a comfortable home, and her responsibility towards her family and what's expected of her.

When this eligible bachelor; Mr. Bingley, his sisters, and his friend are introduced into the Bennets society, he takes a shine to Lizzie's older sister; Jane, who is an angel basically, everything that's good and pure, without the over-energized attitudes of Lizzie. While Pride and Prejudice is in all truth a romance novel, it's not about love at first sight, falling head over heels for someone you just met, or a passionate infatuation based on physical attraction. It's about a deep emotional connection between two people, as they get to know one another -and know themselves- better, between Lizzie, and Bingley's best friend; W. Darcy. While some may construe Pride is Darcy's fault, and Prejudice is Lizzie's, it's not as simple as that. They are both human, and so, in a way flawed, and these are ones of the best characters in literature. Pride and prejudice are their faults, both of them. Mr. Darcy is prejudiced against the rural society, based on his belief that they are less civilized, less sophisticated, less cultured than he or his usual companions are. So he decides first hand that he wouldn't meet anyone interesting here, no one worth his time, his attention, or even his conversation, so he wastes no effort to act politely, or friendly with anyone he meets. And Lizzie's prejudice against Mr. Darcy is because she overheard him saying she wasn't pretty enough for him, and while her prejudice is certainly more justified, it is much stronger than his towards her, she holds it firmly for the better part of the first half of the novel, like the line in the 2005 movie adaptation, she admits "that (liking Darcy) would be most inconvenient, since I sworn to loathe him for all eternity." She is slighted by him, she gets hurt and stays mad at him for a long time because of it. Even, without her realizing she's actually decidedly against him, she who delights in her ability to read and judge people, is blinded to his character, because of that encounter. The story sails off with Jane, and Bingley, falling in love, and her mother's hopes and schemes to get the pairing to wedding aisle, and with that Darcy and Lizzie are forced into being together on several occasions, where Darcy starts to see Lizzie for who she is. And instead of falling for her beauty from the beginning, he begins to appreciate her characters, respect her mind, falls for her easiness and personality. He has a lot of time to observe her, and he starts to fall for her. And when he realized that, he holds back, his pride plays here, but it's reasonable, given his status, his duties, and the expectations of his family to uphold their station. As for Lizzie, she's is set on her judgment of him, when Mr. Wickham walks in, into their lives, he's a charmer, unlike Darcy, whom he has a history with. Wickham's side of their tale paints Darcy as the villain, which soothes Lizzie's account of him. Jane's story, while started of more pleasantly than Lizzie's, is hindered by the same social restrictions of that era. And, with his sisters' persuasion, Mr. Bingely leaves. The following months has the Bennets in despair, with a broken-hearted Jane, and a bored Lizzie with Wickham's departure. When the dreaded cousin arrives as a guest at their state, he tries to mend the relations by hoping to marry one of the daughters of the man whose house he shall inherit. However, Lizzie puts her own happiness above convenience and rejects him. Months later, Lizzie and Darcy meet again, where he finally gives in and admits his feelings to her, shocking her, and to his own surprise, she rejects him. This is more of a gamble than rejecting her cousin, and again Jane Austen shows that a woman can refuse to marry someone, whom she's not in love with. Darcy demands an explanation, and Lizzie informs him of her knowledge that he helped persuade Bingley to leave Jane, and gives him Wickham's account. Enraged, hurt, Darcy writes her a letter to explain his side of the story, turns out, after all, he's not the villain here. As luck would have it, Lizzie's summer plans throw her near Darcy's home and she can't stop her curiosity from seeing it for herself. They're given a second chance where they meet again, with open-minds and new opinions of one another. Darcy is still in love with her, and he heard her and wants to prove that he can change, that her first impressions of him weren't entirely true. And Lizzie, learning the truth of his history of Wickham, ashamed of how she judged him, is now seeing him in a new light, in his element, and with him working extra hard to impress her, it works. Then, as life goes, things get complicated when her sister gets involved with Wickham, Darcy rides to the rescue, and even more honorably, keeps his actions a secret. Before Lizzie finds out, she's tormented with the idea that he won't love her anymore, which makes her wonder about her own feelings for him, and when she learns what he's done, she's flooded with gratitude, and her regard for him strengthens. Will they find each other and make it work? I always prefer a story with a happy ending, even if some people might call it predictable, I enjoy the predictability of good winning in fiction because really, how often does that happen in real life?! It's a story of how two people, despite there different circumstances, different backgrounds, find each other, and against all odds, even against themselves, they fall for one another, and mercifully, they are given a new chance to make it work, and they do. It's hopeful, romantic, with a good dash humor and sarcasm as is Jane's style, and it's a classic. There's a reason this particular novel stood the test of time, and it's a testament to its author's talent and innovation. Pride and Prejudice is a definite "must-read".

#JaneAusten PrideandPrejudice P&P Books Review

1 note · View note

demetriadresser · 3 years

Text

Novel Blogger 2

So far in Pride and Prejudice, I have noticed an element of Austen’s writing style is to reveal the characters and plot primarily through dialogue rather than solely through narration. Because of this, there is not much physical description of the characters, but rather, they are more defined through dialogue and their actions. This craft becomes very relevant in understanding the character traits of Darcy and Elizabeth in order to see how their relationship develops. Elizabeth’s first disliking of Darcy occurs at the Meryton ball when she overhears him speaking illy of her. Darcy has a negative reaction to Bingley’s suggestion to dance with Elizabeth saying: “She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me’” (14). First of all, Elizabeth hears this comment from Darcy and it seems he says it loud enough for her to hear on purpose. This quote from Darcy gives both Elizabeth and the reader their first big insight to Darcy’s character. As we know from background research about the novel, a theme throughout the book is marriage which allows me to believe that the ball was not just a dance, but rather an opportunity for the girls to find a possible match for marriage. It is clear by this quote that Darcy and Elizabeth’s class division is an issue for him; Darcy’s wealth gives him a sense of superiority to the girls at the party, specifically Elizabeth. Not only did this quote give me some insight into the initial stages of Darcy and Elizabeth’s relationship, but it also introduced a theme of pride to the novel. By saying, “‘She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me,’” Darcy conveys a sense of pride in feeling that Elizabeth is simply not attractive enough for his high standards. He also does not consider how he might offend Elizabeth as she overhears him, he is more concerned about defending his own image and holding his own pride. He then goes on to say, “‘I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men,’” which essentially means he cannot be bothered wasting time on a girl who no other man appears to be interested in either. This reveals a sense of insecurity in Darcy, because if he could allow himself to not judge Elizabeth by the standards of other people and was not so concerned in keeping a particular image of himself, he might have given her a chance at first. Clearly, his pride and sense of superiority clouds his sensitivity towards Elizabeth.

Darcy isn’t the only one who continues this theme of pride. When Elizabeth recalls the interaction she had with Darcy she says,

“‘His pride, said Miss Lucas, ‘does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a right to be proud.’

‘That is very true,’ replied Elizabeth, ‘and I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine’” (21).

Elizabeth feels that Darcy’s pretentious attitude exceeded what could have been redeeming qualities, but she also seems to interpret pride differently to Miss Lucas. She feels that though Darcy’s pride is not completely justifiable and his rude behavior and lack of consideration for her own feelings make him out to be a bragger, not a prideful person. I think this quote also reveals something about Elizabeth’s character that allows her to stand out. While everyone seems to be finding justification for Darcy’s misbehavior through his wealth and status, she does not feel that status allows one to be disrespectful towards someone else's pride which, in this case, is her own. Going forward, I think this character trait of Elizabeth’s will reveal that she does not want to follow the guidelines for marriage that society expects her to, she won’t agree to an emotionless contract.

0 notes

hamilkilo · 7 years

Text

Ardently

Prompt: ANONYMOUS: Request for hamilsquad x reader where one of them meets the reader at a coffee shop and kinda flirts with her asking her out and then tells her about the open relation ship a few weeks into there relationship and asked them if they would like to join them and the reader is really shy and has horrible social anxiety and is really worried about messing everything up (because this is aka me 24/7) Pairing: Mostly John Laurens X Reader, but also Poly!Hamilsquad X Reader TW: angst, drama, mild swearing, mentions of bigotry and intolerance, drama, self depreciating thoughts, social anxiety A/N: Hey guys! I’m really excited about this piece! I’m sorry for any typos; I pulled an all nighter to write this, so my brain is a bit fuzzy. I really hope y'all enjoy this! I did my best! If you want me to tag anything, please let me know! I want you to feel safe when reading my work! I love y'all so much!!!! Please enjoy! Word Count: 10755

You liked to live by your aesthetics. You went to used book stores downtown, took polaroids of old buildings, went out of your way to a quaint little coffee shop for the feel of it. After you had gone to the bookshop, it was a habit of yours to go to the coffee shop, buy a warm drink, and read your book at a table near the window. You usually made the trip on a rainy day, for the aesthetic. You used old Polaroids as bookmarks and you wrote comments or thoughts in the margins of your book with a pink pen. The light chatter of background noise was soothing as you reread one of the Jane Austen’s. It was your first copy, therefore the most beaten up. You had always been a romantic, probably for the aesthetic. Which came first? Did your aesthetics extend from your romanticism, or did the romanticism stem from your aesthetics? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that you loved the idea of love. You were deeply engrossed in your book when you heard the sound of the chair across from you being pulled out. Someone sat down, but you buried your nose in the book. What would Elizabeth do? Would she accept Mr. Darcy’s love? Of course, you knew the answer, but you read the book each time like you had no idea. You just hoped that your guest would get the hint and leave you to read. “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you’re reading Pride and Prejudice,” a smooth voice commented, and you glanced up at the boy. Your breath caught when you saw how cute he was with his curls and freckles. You almost shoved your nose into the spine of the book in nervousness. You knew you should probably say something, but you didn’t wanna mess it up. What if you accidentally offended him? “Um, Yeah?” You managed to squeak out, and the guy smiled. He leaned closer, as if to get a peak at your face, but you were quick to bring the book back up. You fiddled with one of your polaroids to calm yourself. “I think Mr. Darcy is a pompous prick that nowhere near deserves someone as well thought and versed as Elizabeth,” the boy stated bravely, and your switch flipped. You didn’t know how to talk to strangers about the weather, but you knew how to talk books, especially if you were defending one of your favorite romances.

“Excuse me, sir, but I’d have to disagree with you. Your judgement is clouded by main character infatuation. As readers, we have the bad habit to believe that the protagonist is the hero, a do-gooder. Elizabeth wasn’t! She was harshly judgmental of her own family and quick to damn everyone else. While she wasn’t as upfront about it as Miss Bingley, she wasn’t exactly discreet about it. You’d have to be brick stupid not to see how she and Mr. Darcy are horridly wonderful for each other. They’re both horrible, judgmental people with ridiculous prejudices and even worse pride. They were made for each other!” You narrowed your eyes at him while he stared at you. Your cheeks were bright red from your outburst, your heart hammering. You could not believe you just did that. He just shared his opinion! You didn’t have to go ahead and give him an essay! This wasn’t literature and composition! You bit your lip and slowly brought your book back up, but his hand caught the top of it. You glanced down at his hand, then back up at him. “Dare I say, but you sound like Elizabeth. Passing judgment on them would make you just the same as her, right?” He asked softly, and you scoffed. “It’s human to judge, just like its human to be ugly and horrible to each other,” you dismissed, tugging on your book to no avail. “That’s a rather dreary outlook on life. Surely not everyone is as bad? You don’t seem ugly,” he smiled at you at his last comment, and you felt your face heat. “I haven’t met anyone capable of proving me different,” you countered, and he smirked. “Darlin’,” he drawled, and you melted. “You’ve been meeting the wrong people.” You laughed out loud, “And who would you call right people?” “I dunno,” he glanced around the coffee shop, then back at you. “I know a few.” “Uh huh,” you sassed, giving up on the book and placing a Polaroid in your spot. You closed the book, almost on his hand, and he grinned at you. “There’s the little bookworm, coming out to greet the world,” he teased in a weird voice, and you crinkled your nose. “No, I can’t read when your enormous hand is covering the page and weighing down my book,” you replied with a faux annoyance. “Why read about adventures when you can live them?” The boy asked as he reclined back in his seat and gazed at you. You tugged on the end of your scarf anxiously. “Books are better than people,” you stated simply, and he shrugged. “You’ve picked up the right books and wrong people,” he restated his previous claim, and you rolled your eyes. “Well, you go out there and find the right people, write a book about it, send it to the coffee shop, and I’ll read it,” you tried to sound frigid, but the boy saw right through that. He was determined. “I think you’re afraid,” he accused casually, and you went straight into RBF. “Afraid?” Your voice was monotone. “Yeah, I think you’re afraid of the adventure out there. You’re afraid of the Miss Bingleys, Janes, and Mr. Darcys. You’re afraid to get your heart broken. You’re afraid to love and be loved,” he took a breath like was about to go on, but you interrupted. “Who do you think you are? Dr. Phil? Oprah? You don’t even know me! Don’t go psychoanalyzing me!” You were only defensive because you knew he was right. Only you weren’t afraid, you were petrified. You liked books because the dialog was there. With books, you didn’t risk saying something wrong. You didn’t risk messing anything up. Books were safe. “It’s alright, sugar. It was just a hunch. I’m sorry I got you worked up,” he reached out and patted your hand soothingly, and your breath caught. He was so cute. He was talking to you. And you yelled at him. Oh boy. How had he not flipped yet? Somehow, you still couldn’t stop yourself, “You’re worse than Mr. Darcy.” The boy paused, then began to laugh. He chortled like there was no tomorrow. It got to the point where he was downright cackling. “That may be true,” he stared once he had sobered up, “But I think you’d make a wonderful Elizabeth, and I mean that as a compliment.” Your cheeks tinged, and you reached for your book, but you bumped his hand instead, and he carefully entwined his fingers around yours. “If you want,” he murmured as he traced his thumb across your knuckles, “I could introduce you to the people I was talking about.” You bit your lip, unsure. He was nice, but he know how to get a bustle in your hedgerow. You glanced at him and remembered what he had said about fear, then you found yourself nodding. “Great! Let me get your number, and I’ll set it up!” He beamed at you, and you bit your lip. You could have just put your number into his phone, but you lived for your aesthetics, and you wrote your number on the back of a black and white Polaroid of you against a brick wall before you gave it to him. With another shy smile tossed over your shoulder at him, you hurried from the shop. Hopefully, he’d lose your number. You’d embarrassed yourself enough for a lifetime.

Sadly, he did not lose your number. A few hours later, he had texted you. “Hey, Elizabeth,” was his cheeky greeting, but despite your heated embarrassment, you found yourself grinning. You felt like a school girl. You saved his contact in your phone as Mr. Darcy, nailing down the pompous prick part of his personality. “I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier,” you began to type, but you bit your lip and reconsidered. Then, you deleted it all and typed up a different message. “Hey.” Short and simple, was it too short? You grimaced as you hit send. You were such an idiot. You wished you were half as quick witted and good with words as Elizabeth. Your phone buzzed, and you found yourself grinning when you saw it was from Mr. Darcy. “So no one is available to actually hang out until about a month from today. For some reason, Eliza likes to plan things week in advance, which also ties up her girlfriend, Maria. I figured you’d like them most. They remind me of Jane.” You rolled your eyes. If only your high school English teacher could see you now. You were doing text to world connections. She’d be so proud. Somewhat relieved that you didn’t have to meet anyone any time soon, you feigned disappointment in your text, trying not to be rude. “That sucks! I was so looking forward to meeting the right people.” Right people. Jeez, this guy was way more arrogant than Mr. Darcy could even aspire to be. But he was also wayyy cuter than any of the Mr. Darcy’s you’d ever seen in the movies. “If you want, we can hang out next Friday night. I can take you to a club my friend works at!” When you read that message, you frowned. Dang. You faked your disappointment too well. You could always fake being sick, but you didn’t want to be rude, especially since he was making so much effort to be nice. “Okay,” you replied, keeping it short. You had found that the shorter the replies, the littler room for error. He didn’t respond right away. You weren’t sure how long had passed, only that you had read another thirty pages into your book when your phone buzzed. “So when you aren’t playing English teacher with some stranger at a cafe, what are you doing?” You felt embarrassment course through you. You were so lame. He was right. Ugh, you wished the ground would swallow you up. You had probably just single handedly destroyed any chance you had with another hot guy by being a huge nerd. You knew you had to reply though. “Drugs.” Before you could stop yourself, you hit send. You turned your phone off right after, trying to stop the message from sending, to no avail. You buried your head in your hands. Cheese and rice, you were so lame! And weird! He probably thinks you’re some crazy coke whore! “Just kidding!” You quickly typed. “I’m usually reading, writing, listening to music… How about you?” Jeez, is that all you did? You really needed to get out more. His response was quick. “Drugs!” Was he teasing you? Was he making fun of how stupid you were? Maybe you should change your phone number and move to Chicago or something? Maybe Antarctica? Yeah, that sounds good. Talk to the penguins, cry, live in an igloo. That’s a good plan. “You’re cute! Actually, I’m usually hanging around my boys. It’s almost a full house here, and we’re always getting into stuff. I’ll have to introduce you to them at some point.” You quickly caught onto his personal life, and you directed the spotlight onto him. “Tell me about your boys. Are they right people?” You bit your lip as you waited, your book forgotten to the side. “Okay. There’s three of them, and we all live together. There’s Alex, who I met first. He’s always been my best friend. He’d like you a lot. He loves to argue. He’s a writer, and he always has an opinion on something. Then there’s the frenchiest fry, Marquis de Lafayette, but we all call him Laf. He’s a French foreign exchange student that just kept coming back. He’s actually on his residency here! He’s probably the best out of all of us. He has such a pure heart, always giving. Last, but definitely not least, is Herc. He actually owns a little boutique uptown. I’ll take you by there sometime, you’ll love it. He’s probably kept me out of jail a few times, tbh. All those drugs, yo.” You found yourself laughing as you read through his long text. It was odd; when he talked about his boys, he seemed so much more like a Jane than a Mr. Darcy. He was actually kinda sweet, and funny, and he made you smile. Look at you, a blushing school girl all over again. You spent the night texting him, smiling and blushing as he talked to you about all of his right people and you stuttering through your texts, typing and deleting, editing, reconsidering. But no matter what you said, he always had something funny and sweet to counter it with. You never scared him off, even though you felt like you had given him several reasons to run for the hills.

“Hey, Y/N, deep breaths, you’ve got this!” “No! I don’t! He’s so cute, and I’m such a nerd! I totally geeked in front of him! Ugh, I don’t even know his name! Why did I agree to this?!” You were pacing around your room, the phone pressed to your ear. You were supposed to meet your Mr. Darcy at the bar his friend owned in less than half an hour, but instead, you were freaking out. “You’re the cute kind of nerd! Don’t worry, it sounds like he likes you! And by the things you’ve been telling me, he sounds like he’s a huge nerd too! And besides, names are overrated! He’s going to love you. Just be yourself and give him the ol’ razzle dazzle!” “You just say that because you’re my mom,” you sighed, sitting on your bed and covering your face with your hand. “Honey, don’t worry about it, okay? Just go out and have fun! Be safe and call me when you get home! I want all the details! Now get off the phone and go live one of your books!” You tried to protest her, but she wouldn’t hear it. As soon as she hung up, your stomach twisted. You had put on one of your favorite dresses, your hair was up, your makeup was done, and you looked killer, so why did you feel so scared? You stood and smoothed your dress before taking a deep breath and leaving to meet him. You stuttered your way through a cab ride, fidgeting with the hem of your dress the entire time. When you actually made it to the club, your stomach dropped at how long the line was. There was no way you’d get in. This was a mistake. You turned to crawl back into the cab when you heard someone yelling. “Elizabeth! Wait, Miss Elizabeth!” You turned around, confused, then you realized it was Mr. Darcy. He was running towards you, trying to stop you from leaving so soon. You frowned; it was too late for you to pretend you hadn’t seen him and go on your merry way. He knew you saw him. You turned around slowly and gave him your most convincing smile. “Mr. Darcy,” you countered as he came to a stop in front of you. He grinned, somewhat out of breath. He looked rather cute with his curls pulled back smoothly, his blue sports coat, all the way down to his snazzy dress shoes. What a pompous, well dressed prick that made your heart flutter. Where were your books when you needed to hide? “You look beautiful,” he breathed, and you realized you’d been staring. Jeez, his freckles were wonderful. It was like your own galaxy to stare at. “Thanks, you do too,” you replied, half listening as you took him in. There was just so much to appreciate. It was only when you heard him giggle that you noticed your mistake. Was it even really a mistake? Beautiful. Huh. Guys were actually very beautiful, this one in particular held your fancy. “Thank you! I wish I got that compliment more often!” His smile was so enticing. You scolded yourself for being so easily distracted tonight. He held his elbow out to you. “Shall we?” You took his elbow with a shy smile, and you hesitantly followed him into the bar. He nodded at the bouncer, then carefully made his way towards the stairs at the back. “I’m taking you up to the higher level; it’s more private up there. We’ll be able to talk more. Maybe you can give me more opinions on Jane Austen,” he teased you as your heels clicked on the metal stairs. When you heard his words, you blushed and were so distracted that your heel slipped. He caught you quickly to prevent you from falling down in a fairly embarrassing manor. His hand was warm on your waist as he stabilized you, and suddenly, the air felt way too thick. “Whoa, careful there. Save the falling for when there’s a bed behind you, eh?” You scoffed and quickly pulled away, not because you were repulsed by the idea of being in bed with him, but because you weren’t repulsed by it. He laughed lightly as you took his elbow again and quickly continued up the stairs. When you got to the top, there was a door that he knocked on, and in what felt like seconds, it was opened to reveal a goddess. Cheese and rice, if you didn’t go to bed with Mr. Darcy, you might go with her. She was tall and sleek, her perfectly sculpted cheekbones and wonderfully dark skin made her look like a goddess. Her curly hair was loose around her shoulders, and her pink dress only made her look even better. Of course this guy was friends with her. Then your reader’s brain clicked. Was she his girlfriend? Was she his right person? What if it was all in your head, and you didn’t even have a chance with him to begin with? Cheese and rice, you felt ridiculous and naive. Who did you think you were? Some special little book worm that got to live their trashy fanfic dream? Wake up, y/n. This was real life. You didn’t get the dream boy or the perfect heroine. You got embarrassment for being such an optimistic idiot. “Y/N, this is my friend, Angelica. She owns the bar. She’s one of those right people I was telling you about,” Mr. Darcy explained as he led you into the room. It was better lit than the rest of the bar, the music wasn’t as obnoxious, and the seating looked way more comfortable. There was a wet bar in the corner with a few different snack bowls laid out. “Oh, is this the Elizabeth you would not shut up about?” Angelica teased as she went over to the bar and poured herself a vodka tonic. You blushed. So Mr. Darcy had talked about you? To her? An actual goddess? What did that mean? “Don’t embarrass me, Angelica!” He playfully scolded her as he sat down on the couch. You bit your lip before sitting down beside him with an ocean of space between you two. “You do that well enough on your own, Johnny,” she countered with a smirk before she threw back a shot. So his name was Johnny? John? Johnathan? Good ol’ Jimmy Jam? Why wouldn’t your brain just shut up and let you focus for two seconds tonight? “And what’ll you have, Miss Elizabeth?” She put air quotes around the name, and you smiled. Uhhh, you never really went out, especially not to a bar. The wildest place you usually went on a Friday night was to Walmart around 11 when you were craving ice cream. To be fair, Walmart past 10 pm was reasonably sketchy. You made a knee jerk reaction. You figured it was best to establish dominance. Maybe, if you intimidated them, they wouldn’t come after you. “Vodka, straight shot.” You could channel your wild college days of crying, shoveling ice cream, and swigging vodka out of the bottle with your room mates instead of working on your ten page paper due the next day while watching the Notebook. Angelica raised her eyebrows, but she didn’t question you. She just poured you a shot, poured Good Ol’ Jimmy Jam a glass of whiskey, and brought you both the drinks. As soon as your shot was in hand, you threw it back. It burned like you had just made out with an angry, firebreathing dragon. Cheese and rice, how did this not kill you in college? Were you dying right now? No matter how bad it felt, you didn’t cough. You held it together. Establish the dominance. Mr. Darcy chuckled in wonderment. “Wow, John. She might be able to hang with you and the boys shot for shot if y'all ever go out together,” Angelica mused. So his name was John. You glanced at him. That seemed fitting. He looked like a John. “I know! I was just thinking the same thing! You might even be able to keep up with Herc. Once he gets going, that guy is a machine!” John swirled his whiskey while he stared at your face. “Herc’s the one with the shop uptown, right?” You asked as you tried to remember which boy he was talking about. “Yeah! I think I’ll take you there next time!” He gushed, and he went on to say something else, but you weren’t paying attention. Did he say next time? Was he already planning on taking you out again? Why? You were probably the lamest person you’ve known. At some point, Angelica poured you another shot, and you threw it back. They had been talking about Herc’s shop uptown, a lot of stuff you didn’t get because you didn’t understand the background. “Wait, Wait, so if you’re here with John, then he probably never told you about the Taco Bell incident?” Angelica suddenly changed the topic, roping you back in. She was a really good hostess… to your dismay. “Don’t tell her about the Taco Bell incident!” John quickly protested, almost choking on his whiskey since he was in the middle of taking a swig when she brought it up. “She needs to know! Everyone needs to know-” “Angelica! Don’t! You swore you’d never tell anyone-” “Yeah, but that was before you introduced me to a girl! It’s a great party story! And besides,” she leaned close to you. She had seated herself in the arm chair adjacent to John. “It’s revenge for him talking smack about Pride and Prejudice.” You snickered at her comment, those shots of vodka already hitting you. “Angie, please,” he gave her the cutest look, and you felt your heart melt. Angelica looked unphased. “Those eyes might work on Alex, but you’ll have to work a whole lot harder than that to deter me. So anyways,” you found yourself leaning closer, eager to hear the story, while John slumped in defeat. “It was our senior year of high school and we were both in marching band. It was our last performance at our last competition, so it was kind of a big deal. Earlier that day, we stopped for lunch, and we had four separate options: Panera, McDonalds, Steak N Shake, or Taco Bell. I, like anyone with taste buds and half a brain, chose Panera, while John and Alexander chose Taco Bell. Now, I’ve known John for years, and he’s always been that kid. You know, the one that thinks it’d be a good idea to throw a hammer at a hornet’s nest, jump out of the tree house instead of taking the ladder, stuff like that. So this kid, being the genius he is, and with the encouragement from Alex, ate fifteen dollars worth of Taco Bell. So fast forward to later, our first performance is fine. We have dinner provided by the band moms; we laugh; we cry; it’s great. We’re all getting into uniform for finals, and we’re marching off to warm up, when Alex comes up to me asking if I’d seen John, and I’m like, no? He’s not even in my section! I’m a flute player! He’s a tuba! He’s not even in my jurisdiction! But Alex is worried sick, so I go off, and after half the band searching for him we find him, crying in a portapotty-” “I wasn’t crying. I was just, uh, the smell, it was making me tear up-�� “Oh shut up, you were crying. We could hear your gross crying noises. Anyways, needless to say, he had to miss his last performance all because he thought $15 of Taco Bell was worth it.” Angelica was laughing towards the end, and you found yourself chuckling with her. John had his lips pressed into a thin line while you both ended up in hysterics. “Mr. Adams,” she panted through her laughter, “was so disappointed! He actually refuses to stop by Taco Bell on band trips anymore!” You roared with laughter again. “Yeah, haha, laugh it up,” John pouted, “I have stories on you, too, Angie-” He stopped talking when Angelica shot him a look. “Try it, Portapotty, I dare you!” You laughed so hard that your sides hurt.

You and Angelica were quick to become friends, and you quickly figured out that she wasn’t seeing John. You ended up actually texting her more than you had texted John, usually just nonsense and inside jokes. Yeah, you had inside jokes with her now. It had only been a few weeks, but you were already close friends. You had spent most of the night upstairs with Angelica and John, listening to funny stories and laughing until you almost passed out. It was the most fun you’d had in a long time. It was around two in the morning when Angelica had her driver take you home. John had offered to walk you home, but Angelica insisted. Angelica struck you as the mom friend. She was always there looking out for you. She went the extra distance to ensure your safety. At first, you’d thought of her as a Miss Darcy, or maybe a Jane, but neither of those did her justice. You eventually decided she was more like an Athena. As much as you hated to admit it, most books didn’t have female characters strong enough to do her justice, especially not your beloved classic novels. It was a quiet Friday night. You had been texting Angelica that day, and you had discussed your plans for that night. She was running her bar, and she invited you out, but you politely declined. You had recently bought a new book you were just dying to read. She understood. It was things like that that made it so easy to talk to her. Maybe John was right. Maybe she was right people. You missed John and her, but both of them had been busy the past few weeks, and when they weren’t, you were. It was around seven that night, and the sun had just set. You were curled up in your armchair, halfway through Pride and Prejudice instead of the book you had planned to start reading. You had been obsessed with that book more so than lately. Perhaps it had something to do with the curly haired boy that kept wandering his way back into your thoughts. You were in a pair of leggings and an old college hoodie, positively comfy. You had your blankets and your mug of tea, which was almost empty. You had it made. Suddenly, there was a knock at your door. You were confused. Was your mom visiting today? No, she was visiting on Sunday. Maybe your neighbor accidentally got some of your mail? You stuck a Polaroid in the spine of your book and went to the door. It was probably Miss Higgins, looking for her cat again. You opened the door, expecting to see the sweet little old lady and half distracted by the door mat you accidentally messed up when you opened the door. “I’m sorry, Miss Higgins, I haven’t seen Tippy today, but I’ll let you know if I do,” you answered routinely as you nudged the carpet with your socked foot. A soft laugh from whoever was in front of you alerted you that it was not your little, old neighbor lady unless she just hit puberty and her voice dropped several octaves. “Who’s Tippy? Should I be worried?” John joked with a cheeky smile. You felt yourself break out in a grin at the sight of him. He was dressed down today in a pair of jeans, a striped sweater, and a pea coat. He had a scarf hanging loosely from his neck and your inner romantic swooned at the idea of grabbing him by that scarf and yanking him in for a kiss. “Um,” you began, shaking your thoughts away as you held the door open for him. You didn’t give him your address, but logic told you that Angelica probably did. Her driver had taken you home, after all. “My neighbor is constantly losing track of her cat, Tippy.” He came into your house, pausing by you to give you a gentle peck on the cheek, and if your head wasn’t so lost in the clouds, you probably would’ve fainted. You shut the door, hiding the blush creeping it’s way down your neck. You quickly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as he took in your apartment. John was such a Mr. Darcy that he probably had a snobbish home somewhere instead of a small apartment in the shady part of town. Luckily, you had befriended the rookie police officer, Tommy, across the hall. If he didn’t give you such reassurance in safety, you would’ve already complained to him about the noise level coming from his apartment. You got it. He had two boyfriends that knew his name, that didn’t mean they had to scream it every night when you were trying to sleep. “Did I interrupt something?” He glanced over at your extended recliner, mug of tea, scattered polaroids, and tattered book. You bit your lip. “Yeah, but it’s no big deal. It’s not like I haven’t read it before,” you shrugged it off, shifting nervously. “What brings you by?” John turned to you, running a hand over his hair with a small smile. “Well, Angie said you weren’t busy tonight, and I figured I’d surprise you. I figured I could show you around Herc’s shop, maybe go for dinner if you want?” You felt your cheeks tinge with color again as your lips stretched into another delighted smile. Damn, this boy made you smile almost as much as your books did. “Hmm, I dunno,” you teased, pretending to ponder. “I mean, I’ve been looking forward to reading my book all week… besides, isn’t dinner a little too direct for Mr. Darcy? I was actually expecting a proclamation of love before, and then a heated, fairly insulting letter meant as an apology. You wouldn’t happen to have that planned before dinner, would you? Because I need to know whether to pack a snack and some popcorn or not.” As soon as he realized you were teasing him, he broke out into a grin. “You had me worried there for a sec! I thought you were blowing me off for a book you’ve read a thousand times!” “Excuse me, sir,” you looked at him as if he had just fatally insulted you, “that’s one thousand and one times. Get your facts straight!” He laughed again, and you were suddenly aware of how close he was standing to you. Was this customary for guy friends? You weren’t really sure. You had been too caught up in your books to ever pay any attention. It was something about the way he looked at you and seemed to laugh so genuinely that distracted you from your fear of messing up, but it was also the way he looked at you that made you stutter your words all the time. “So, Herc’s? Sounds fun. Lemme just go get changed,” you stated quickly. You needed space. You were getting lost in your head with him standing that close. You quickly retreated to your bedroom, throwing clothes around in search of the right outfit. You were deep in your closet, your mind tangled in thoughts and panic as you thumped around. None of it was right. No no no. Then you grabbed a pair of jeans with rips in the knees and you tossed them on your bed. Your hands found your favorite sweater that you threw with the jeans. Your fingers laced around a cute scarf that matched, and you were set. You didn’t have time to second guess as you stripped and began to dress. You were standing in your underwear, cursing as you stumbled around the room trying to fit into your jeans, when the sore opened and John came in. “Hey, someone’s at the door and-” he stopped talking when you both made eye contact, and you froze-which was a poor move on your part when you toppled over. John moved towards you to help you up, then moved back when he remembered the predicament. “I knocked! I swear, I knocked. I am so sorry, I didn’t mean-” “John?” You interrupted as you stared up at him from the floor. His eyes were darting around the room, falling on anything but you. “Yeah?” his voice cracked nervously. “I’m still half dressed. Would you mind…?” You didn’t know how to phrase it, but he got the hint. He continued his stream of apologies as he quickly retreated and closed the door. Then you started to laugh. It was quiet at first, but then it developed into full body quakes that left you breathless. You couldn’t stop laughing. The cute boy you had a crush on that probably thought you were nuts just walked in on you half naked! At some point, your hysterical laughter turned into ugly crying when you realized that your life was a disaster. You only ever managed to embarrass yourself. John probably already left! He probably thinks you’re psychotic, and he wants nothing to do with you! You got dressed, hopeless thoughts swirling in your mind, then you finally left your room. Surprisingly, John was still there. He was flipping through your polaroids, trying extra hard not to look at you. “It was Miss Higgins,” he explained after clearing his throat a few times. “She was looking for Tippy. I told her you hadn’t seen her cat.” You nodded, heading to the door. When you turned around, you caught John staring at you, and you both blushed. “So, Herc’s?” You trailed off, and he nodded eagerly. He followed you out of your apartment and you locked the door behind you. You walked to the elevator in silence. Once in the lift, you kept the three foot friendship distance between you two, still not saying a word. It was only when the elevator stopped at the third floor and one of your creepier neighbors got on that you moved closer to John. “Hey, baby,” the guy said, and you rolled your eyes. Flippin’ Ralph. He was the scumbag that cat called you from the wall outside while he smoked through four packs. He smelled like piss and an ash tray. “Maybe later tonight, you can tell me your name so I can scream it for ya. Would you like that?” He reached out to grab you, but John was quick to wrap an arm around you. With Him by your side, you felt empowered enough to stand up for yourself. “Gee, Ralph. I knew rats in this city got big, but I didn’t know they came this big,” you gave him the disgusted once over all of the girls perfected in high school. “Honestly, the idea of even touching. You makes me wanna Ralph. Besides, with the number of packs you smoke these days, I’d be surprised if you could even get your voice above an embarrassing rasp. Besides, why would I settle for you when I’ve got a boyfriend that makes me scream instead?” Ralph had never heard you speak up before, so it was a fair reaction when he was so shocked that the cigarette fell from his mouth. You felt John shaking with quiet laughter behind you, and you stood tall. “You know what? You’re a disgusting little tramp-” there was the reaction you were waiting for. You shrank into John, waiting for the verbal onslaught, but John was ever the valiant Mr. Darcy. “You’d better watch what you say next or you’re gonna have trouble speaking with no tongue and no teeth, my friend,” John growled out as he shoved you behind him. The elevator dinged, and you all but threw a party. You cursed the cheap apartment and it’s decrepit elevators. Your grandma could navigate those stairs faster than that lift, and she’s dead. Before John could deck Ralph, you pulled him off the elevator with you and quickly out of the building. It was only when you were down the street and your breathing had calmed that things had caught up to you. Number one, you called John your boyfriend… and he totally went with it. Number two, you insinuated that you and John had really good sex… and he also totally went with it. Number three, you might need to start carrying a gun to protect yourself from Ralph. Number four, John totally stood up for you! Wow, that was actually really hot. Number five, you were still holding hands from when you dragged him off the elevator. When you looked up, you noticed he was looking down at you. “Hey, you okay?” You gave him a small smile and nodded. “I’m sorry back there. I shouldn’t have dragged you into it, and I’m sorry about the comment about our wild sex-” John cut you off by bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your knuckles. “Hey,” he murmured, his lips tickling the skin before he slowly brought your hand down from his lips, “don’t worry about it. Any guy would be lucky to be called your boyfriend.” You felt your heart thrumming in your chest, and you were suddenly hyper aware of everything your body was doing. Was he into you? “Well, I…” your words failed. You didn’t know what to say about the entire ordeal, so you didn’t. Instead, you said, “Which way to Herc’s?” John’s lips twitched to a frown, but it was quick, and you didn’t ponder it. He didn’t drop your hand as he led you down the street. It was about ten minutes into the walk when you started shivering. You were so embarrassed by what happened in your apartment that you forgot your coat. John put his arm around you at first, holding you near him as you walked, but your teeth still chattered. He then tugged off his pea coat and quick to swaddle you with it. You protested, but he was quick to shush you. Your heart stuttered when he put his arm back around you for the rest of the walk. About thirty minutes after you left the lift, you found yourself outside of Herc’s Four Sets of Corsets and More. John opened the door for you and ushered you in. He took the coat off your shoulders and draped it on the mannequin as if he’d been here a thousand times before, which he probably had. “Herc!” He called, causally throwing his arm around you again and wandering around the shop. You heard footsteps on the staircase behind the counter and turned to find a tall, dark drink of damn son come down the stairs. Did John only know hot people? What did that make you? “Hey, babe! Who’s this lovely, little lady with you?” Herc asked as he came around and leaned against the counter, waiting for an introduction. You were confused by his pet name for John. Since when did bros start calling each other babe? Whatever, you were on board for it. “This here, is the Elizabeth from the coffee shop,” John explained. How many people had he told about you? And how many people only knew you as “The Elizabeth”? You decided to take a leap of faith, “Hi,” you said shyly as you extended your hand, “most people actually call me Y/N.” Herc shook your hand, but you felt John’s eyes on you. That’s when you realized you had never told him your actual name. You blushed in embarrassment. You’d been talking to this guy for at least a month now, and you hadn’t even bothered to properly introduce yourself! Your mama raised you better than that! “Well, I’ve heard a lot about you!” Herc beamed, and you returned the smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too!” You replied, and Herc’s face lit up. “I’m so glad John told you about us! You two must be really close now for him to mention us!” Herc wiggles his eye brows. Although you were confused, you dismissed it. Their friendship must be really tight. They did live together, after all. You carried on with light banter, and Herc gave John an occasional jab or two. You had fun, and eventually, you had Herc’s number written on a scrap of loose cloth he had tied around your wrist. Apparently, he too had an appreciation for aesthetic. Herc showed you around the shop. You noticed a mannequin without arms and complimented his Greek architectural taste, but he laughed and said it was an accident. Apparently, it was a “long story.” You ended up picking up a few items, and you were excited to purchase them, but John footed the bill. You argued, but one shared look between Herc and John ended any discussion. Herc handed you the bag, and you thanked him again. John wound his arm around you again, and you both said farewell to Herc before you left the shop, you wearing John’s pea coat again. “So, where do you wanna go for dinner?” John asked as you both moseyed down the street. You shrugged, “I dunno, I’m kinda in the mood for Italian.” John grinned down at you, and again, you were hyper aware of how close he was to you. “I know just the place.” John took you to a quaint, little place downtown called Belladona, and you were quickly seated at a table in the back. John was ever the southern gentleman, pulling your chair out for you, draping the jacket over the back of it. He was sweeter than any guy you’d ever met. You knew if you voiced that, he’d just say you were meeting the wrong guys. “So what do you recommend, Mr. Darcy?” You perched an eyebrow at him as you unfolded your menu. “Hmm,” he looked at you and thought for a minute, “you strike me more as a ravioli type…” You rolled your eyes at him with a smile, “You only know that because you saw the cans of Chef Boyardee’s ravioli sitting out on my counter from my recent grocery store trip.” He chortled, “What can I say? I’m an observant guy!” “I’m torn, now I want ravioli, but I also really want spaghetti,” you pouted at him, and he laughed. “Tell ya what, you get the ravioli, I’ll get the spaghetti, and we’ll share,” he offered, and you eagerly nodded. This guy was the gift that kept on giving. “I knew I kept you around for something,” you poked him on the nose, then you spent the proceeding twenty minutes regretting that action. He laughed in response, “What? The free food?” “Hey, you paid for the clothes, the least I can do is buy dinner,” you responded, moderately offended that he’d think you’d expect him to pay for everything. “Please, I brought you out. Let me treat you,” his smile was so kind; it drew you in. “We’ll see,” was your answer before you let your resolve dissolve. He smiled at you and your stubbornness. Maybe you were wrong before. Maybe he isn’t Mr. Darcy. You couldn’t imagine Mr. Darcy being this kind. Of course, you’d never admit that to him. “So, Y/N,” he tested the sound of your name on his tongue, and it caused your heart to falter. “What do you know of polyamorous relationships?” You were taken aback. He brought you all the way out here, to a nice restaurant, to ask you your opinion on that? “Well, I know what it is. I’m sorry, are you asking my knowledge or my opinion?” He bit his lip, then he ran a hand over his hair and toyed with his curls. “Uh, opinion?” You shrugged, “Well, I know a few people in one, and they seem to make it work really well. The only problem is that the sex is louder with more people and it keeps me up at night… I mean, I’ve never been in one, but I think I’d be open to it with the right people. It’s always been intriguing to me, but I guess I’ve never been in the position to be in one before.” You paused. “Why do you ask?” He glanced around the room nervously, then tugged at his curls once more. “Well, I… Um… Alexander would be so much better at this,” he muttered. “I mentioned earlier that I live with my boys.” He gave you a hard look, clearly trying to communicate to you. You nodded slowly, waiting for him to go on. He swallowed. “My boys,” he repeated, a bit more enunciated this time. You stared at him blankly. A few seconds of awkward silence lapsed where he waited for you to have a lightbulb moment, and you waited for further explanation. Then it clicked. “Ohhh… your boys,” you breathed, almost to yourself. You had to work quick to mask your hurt and disappointment. For some reason, you really thought you had a chance. Obviously not if he had three boyfriends. You bit your lip hard as you stared down at the table. Way to go, Y/N. You messed it up. Again. You felt your stomach churn with embarrassment and shame. No one would want you. Of course not. You were way to much of a nerd. Jeez, you were such an idiot to think someone like that would ever go for a stuttering moron like you. This is why you kept to yourself. Books wouldn’t do this to you. They wouldn’t change like this. They wouldn’t let you down like this. You just wanted to go home and read. Well, read and cry. And maybe yell a little bit. “I…. I gotta go… I think I left the stove on…” you managed to stutter through the lump in your threat. You felt foolish. Were you really going to cry over a boy you didn’t even have a chance with? “Why? Did I do something wrong?” John’s eyes searched your face, but you ducked your chin to hide. You’d kill a man for a book right now. “I’m sorry,” you whispered as you stood up and turned to leave. He stood abruptly and grabbed your wrist to stop you. “It’s me, isn’t it?” He sounded hurt, too. You couldn’t focus on that. If you looked up and met his eyes, you’d start crying in public, and you couldn’t handle that right now. “Don’t touch me!” You snapped as you tore your arm from his grasp. You turned and dashed from the restaurant as tears spilled down your cheeks. You were right. Books are better than people.

As soon as you made it back to your appartement, you put on the kettle and called your mom. It was about ten o'clock, but you figured she’d still be up. She answered on the fourth ring. “Hello?” “Momma?” Your voice broke. Hearing her broke the dam, and you began to sob. “Oh, pumpkin, what happened?” Her voice was soft, and you could practically feel her wrapping her arms around you. “I’m such an… an idiot!” You sobbed, slumping down against the wall. “No, baby, you aren’t an idiot…” “Yes, I am! I was naive to think that a guy like him would ever want me. I’m such a loser, Mom!” You wiped your tears on your sleeve, but they were quickly replaced by more. “Hold on, honey, I’m on my way over. What kind of ice cream do you want?” You cried even harder. You loved your mom so much. She was always there when you needed her. You told her your favorite ice cream, and she said she’d be over as soon as possible. She hung up, but you didn’t move from the floor. You continued crying. You didn’t feel like moving. Why bother? You just wanted to lie there. At some point, the kettle went off, and you managed to pick yourself up, change into your pajamas, and go to the kitchen. Your tea was ready, but you ignored it. Instead, you went straight for the liquor. You needed something hard. You started throwing back shots. You felt like you were back in your college days. When your mom first showed up, she tried to get you to stop drinking, but quickly realized her efforts were futile. She let you drink while also making you drink plenty of water. You both are ice cream while you cried. She wrapped you in a blanket and vented with you about the stupid boy. She said he led you on, but you disagreed. You’d just read too far into it. The rest of the night blurred away when you started taking straight swigs out of the bottle.

A week had passed. Then two. Angelica and Herc had sent you texts, but after a week of you not replying, they decided to give you some space. You’d deleted John’s number from your phone. You were right about him being Mr. Darcy. He was a pompous, arrogant prick and you were the foolish Mr. Bingley. You were just some optimistic idiot blinded by emotion. You went to work. Came home. Read until your vision doubled. Passed out. Repeated. You were back to your old ways. The first week that had passed had a dreary Saturday. Before John, you would have gone to your bookshop, then the cafe. But now, you couldn’t risk seeing his face; you couldn’t do it. You stayed inside, read your books, listened to music, and watched romantic movies that made you cry. It was on a Thursday the second week that there came a knock at the door. You shuffled over and answered it to reveal Ms. Higgins. “Mornin’, dearie,” she said hoarsely. She held the elusive Tippy under her arm and an envelope in her free hand. “I got your mail again.” You forced a smile and took the small stack of junk mail from her. “Thank you.” “Are you doing alright, sugar? You look awful tired,” she seemed to lean closer to look at your face, and you looked down, ashamed. Now you had your elderly neighbor worried about you. Way to go. “Yeah, just been busy lately,” you lied. It’d be true if you counted crying as an activity. “Ahh, a broken heart makes for a busy soul,” she replied simply before she turned and went back to her apartment. You stood there for a minute, miffed, but you shrugged it off and went back inside. You stood over the trash can, absentmindedly sorting threw the mail. Junk. Junk. Junk. You tosses envelope after envelope into the bin. However, you reached back into the trash to retrieve one envelope you had skimmed over. Your stomach twisted as you opened it and pulled the letter out. “Elizabeth, I hope you are doing well. Angelica and Hercules are both worried since they haven’t heard from you. Please call them when you can to let them know you’re okay. Angelica tends to obsess about people she cares about. I’m writing because it’s the only way I’m sure you’ll get my message. I wasn’t sure if you’d blocked my number or not. I’m sorry if I disgusted you, but I assumed you’d be more open minded given that it’s 2017, not 1917. My mistake. I didn’t realize that you would find the concept of love so abhorrent. You seemed so sweet and lovable, but I guess most bigots do as well. The worst part is that I actually let you close to my heart. I liked you, but I guess that was wasted emotion, huh? I guess you were right about Elizabeth. You suit her, you know: judgmental, rude, harsh, horrid… sound familiar? I am unafraid to say that I love my boys, each and every one of them, and I don’t care if that offends you. I don’t need you in my life if you can’t accept me for who I am. I opened myself to you. I was vulnerable, but you showed me that you can’t be trusted. I’m glad I got that out of the way before things progressed any further. Maybe one day, you’ll find your Mr. Darcy-some horrid man that compliments your horridness, and you’ll go on your horrid way. You’d be perfect for each other. Maybe the reason you only saw bad in the characters was because you were looking in the mirror. News flash, it’s not that you’re meeting the wrong people, it’s that you are wrong people. I’m not going to miss you, but I will miss the idea of you. Do us both a favor and lose my number, John.” You were so angry that you couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe. All you could do was sit there. Then it hit you all at once. How dare he. How dare he assume all those things! He was such a complete moron! You grabbed a piece of paper and your pink pen and you went to work. “Dear Mr. Pompous Prick, First of all, how dare you. How dare you go and assume all of those horrible things about me. I can’t even begin to comprehend where you got those opinions from? Unaccepting of your relationships? If you had listened to a word I had said, you’d actually get it through your pea sized brain that I support polyamory and I’m open to it! But no, you were to busy thinking about God only knows what to actually see what was right in front of you. I liked you! I had a crush on you! I know, ridiculous. It was absurd of me to even consider you to be my Mr. Darcy! You know, at some point, I thought I was wrong and that you were nothing like Mr. Darcy. I was right! You’re so much worse! You led me on, made me think I actually had a chance. Stupid me. Although I appreciate your honesty about your relationship, I wish I’d known before I’d been so emotionally invested. I didn’t leave because you disgusted me; I left because I realized how stupid I was to think you were into me! You have three other boyfriends, clearly I misunderstood. But sure, go ahead and assume I’m some bigoted asshole. Rip apart my character and everything I stand by if it helps you sleep at night, but know that you broke my heart, you son of a bitch. You made me think I had a chance, then you told me the truth and spit on my character. Tell Angelica and Hercules I’m fine. I’m sure they won’t miss me anyways. And don’t worry about your number. I lost it weeks ago. Thanks for nothing. Y/N.” You wanted to say more. You wanted to swear and curse at him until your fingers crumbled apart, but you couldn’t let him be right. You couldn’t let him have substantial proof to any of his claims. You couldn’t be that person he claimed you to be. You sent the letter to the return address, then went back to your books. You just wanted to forget the whole ordeal.

Weeks had passed, and your heart ached with the echo of his cruel words, but you couldn’t let it get to you. You were healing and repairing. You eventually got the nerve to go back to your bookstore on a dreary Saturday. You had stopped reading Pride and Prejudice a while ago. It reminded you of too much. You needed new books to hide your face in. After you bought a few books, you went to the cafe. You had forgotten your umbrella today, so you were sopping wet by the time you had gotten to your cafe. You dashed inside and ordered your old drink. You sat at your old table. You pulled out your old novel and a black pen. You began to read as you wrote in the margins. You wished the cafe would swallow you whole so you could live in this moment forever. “Elizabeth?” You recognized that voice and you froze. You shoved your nose deeper into your book as the chair scraped in front of you. He sat down with you. “Hey, Y/N,” a gentle hand tugged on your book, but you harshly pulled it back up. You did not want to speak to him. “Y/N, please, hear me out-” You snapped your book shut, not even worrying about marking your place. You grabbed your bag and fled the coffee shop. He called out behind you, begging you to stay. You didn’t. You dashed down the street, not caring about the pouring rain. You just needed to get away. Then you felt a hand in your wrist. You turned around to face him, anger sparking in you. “What, John? Have you come to bash my character again? Have you not done enough?” You demanded as you stared up at him. The pouring rain plastered hair to your face and blurred your vision, but it didn’t lessen your glare. “Y/N, please. I was wrong. I was ignorant, harsh, unreasonable, and a completely pompous prick. I was scared and hurt, and I lashed out at you-” “So what? You come here thinking some shitty apology will suffice? Obviously, you misunderstand me completely!” You were furious. After all he did, all he said, he thinks he can fix it with a few words. “I’m sorry, Y/N! What can I do to get you to see that?” He was exasperated, but you didn’t care. You would not let him hurt you again. “How about you get lost and never talk to me again?” You snapped at him. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? “I can’t!” He was angry too now, which pissed you off even more. He had no right! “Why not? Isn’t it obvious? I hate you!” You shoved him away from you, trying to force him to leave, but he grabbed both of your hands. “‘In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and-’” “Don’t say it,” you whispered, tears in your eyes. “If you care about me at all, you won’t say it.” “'You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and-’” “Don’t,” your lips trembled as a tear slipped down your cheek. John cupped your face. “'How ardently I admire and love you,’” he finished, and you began to cry. He tried to pull you into his arms, but you pushed him away. “Oh, John,” you began crestfallenly, “Dont you remember? Elizabeth could never accept that proclamation, just as I cannot.” He let you slip away from his fingers as he stared at you. He wanted to reach for you, hold you, you could tell. But he didn’t. “But I do,” his voice cracked, and you shivered as more tears fell. “I wish I could believe you, John. I really do.”

Needless to say, your mom made another trip after that encounter, and it was only after speaking with her that you came to your senses. But it was too late now. You’d done your damage. “Honey,” your mom had said, “if you believe in romance at all, and if you truly live by your aesthetics and romanticism, then you will not sit idly by and be satisfied by this excuse. If you are half the girl I know you to be, you will find this boy and tell him how you really feel.” She was right. It took a few phone calls with Angelica, who was completely relieved to have heard from you, but also completely pissed off from the whole ordeal. She was delighted to help after you had explained everything. So there you were, fidgeting anxiously at the Belladona, waiting for John to show up. You were relying on all of the books you had read to aid you in this one moment. Would he show? Angelica had invited him out to dinner with her. Word on the street was that you’d left him a complete disaster. You felt horrible. This whole ordeal was your fault. Cheese and rice, you royally screwed this one up. There’s no way he’d show. Not after everything you’d done. You didn’t deserve another chance. But then you saw him. He looked beautiful, just the way you remembered him. As soon as he came in, his eyes locked on you. Would he turn to run? You prayed to anything and everything out there that he wouldn’t. And he didn’t. He slowly, hesitantly, approached your table, and you stood. You made your way over so that you were standing before him. This was the bravest thing you’d done in your life. “John, I…” and words failed you. You had nothing. You’d built everything up to this moment, and you were flatlining. You couldn’t speak. All you could do was stare at him, hoping he’d understand. “I…” Speak, Y/N! This is your last chance! “I…” Where was your fire? Your spark? Suddenly, you were back in the coffee shop the first time you’d met, and you finally found the words. “You’re my right person,” you finally managed to get out. You stared at him, waiting. He blinked. Then he blinked again. “I’ve always been afraid of saying the wrong thing, but with you, it’s like all the dialog is already there. You already know what I’m going to say before I say it. And I know I’m the wrong person, I’ve always been, but you’re my right person and I could never forgive myself if I didn’t tell you that-” you couldn’t stop talking now. You were rambling. You were losing him, you could feel it. Without warning, his lips were on yours, and he was kissing you like there was no tomorrow. He was desperate, trying to convey everything he had been holding back those past weeks into that single moment. When he pulled away, he whispered, “If I’m your right person, then you’re my right story.”

You could fill books upon books with the different aesthetics you got to wake up to now. You had dozens of polaroids filled with your boys’ faces. It had been two years since you met John at the Belladona. Your relationship had been far from fanfic material, but maybe that’s why you loved it so much. Fanfics were predictable; this was an adventure. John was right. Your boys were right people. They were everything you’d been hoping for and more. It wasn’t perfect, not by far, but that’s what made it perfect. You were happy, and you knew you would always be happy as long as you were with them. You didn’t read as much anymore. You didn’t need to. You had all the adventure you needed. It was bittersweet to watch your beaten up copy of Pride and Prejudice collect dust on the shelf, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, it was all for the aesthetic.

#hamilsquad #hamiltrash #hercules mulligan #alexander hamilton #hamilton #laurens #lafayette #marquis de lafayette #john laurens #mulligan #fanfiction #fanfic #my work #my writing

249 notes · View notes

disinfandous · 7 years

Text

Light Reading

Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler

1,939 words - fluff, trashy romance novels, the eighth doctor ;), “disturbing the peace”, crack?

[[I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ORIGINAL POST BC IM A HUUUUUGE KLUTZ SO I’M REPOSTING IT I’M SO SORRY]]

Rose Tyler (much to her surprise, delight, and horror) finds a rather… interesting… romance novel starring none other than the Doctor himself! Try as she might to read it in peace, the Doctor just has to know what’s going on. Why is she laughing so hard?

AO3

Ever since she began travelling with the Doctor, Rose generally avoided romance novels.

The reason why was simple, really. Every time Rose read a romance novel she just kept thinking of him, of that maddening alien she now lived with. Her mind would wander, unbidden, to dangerous territory, lingering on the eternity in his eyes, the perfect fit of his hand in hers, the warmth spreading in her chest at the sight of his smile…

She couldn’t read a single limerent word from even the trashiest of bodice-rippers without her mind wandering. Romances were, for lack of a better word, hazardous. They did a impressive number on her sanity and she swore to stay away from them for the sake of her health.

Generally, she kept that promise well. She avoided suspicious sections of not only the TARDIS library, but of other libraries or bookstores they happened to visit on their adventures as well. She did her part and stayed away, but Rose didn’t take into account the books not staying away from her, and she certainly didn’t take into account the books actually being about the Doctor.

Suddenly, it wasn’t so much an issue of her mind wandering but rather of whether or not her imagination would be up to par.

Looking back at it, she would certainly claim that it wasn’t her fault. Not really. What were the odds of her finding something like that in this particular library in this particular town on this particular planet? Or anywhere in the universe at all, rather? Slim, she bet. Probably as slim as he was in that suit of his, that’s how unlikely.

Yet there it was. Just sitting there, wedged in between two other seemingly innocuous volumes. It was misshelved, clearly, by the way it was surrounded by cookbooks. She just wanted a glimpse at freaky alien food, not freaky alien Doctor fantasies.

Still, Rose quickly grabbed the book and ducked around the shelves to take a peek anyway. Ever the paradigm of restraint, she decided regret was for the future. She would burn that bridge when she got to it.

A customary glance at the cover nearly left her a giggling mess. It was so cheesy, almost exactly like those cheap paperbacks sitting around in convenience stores. The man emblazoned on the cover passionately embracing a swooning purple-skinned damsel was clearly meant to be the Doctor, even though he looked considerably different. He was painted with a velvet coat and luscious brown curls, dressed perfectly for a position in some sort of Jane Austen novel or something. In the background, partially concealed by gratuitous amounts of blossoming flowers, stood the TARDIS in all of its blue boxy glory.

The title was printed in curvilinear alien script and appropriately translated to the closest English equivalent of its meaning. It read, much to Rose’s amusement: Doctor Sexy. It sounded like some sort of quirky medical drama.

The tagline was just as bad: Fate, passion, desire… He can save the planet, but can he love?

What a loaded question.

Rose remembered the Doctor telling her as soon as they arrived that he recalled visiting this planet multiple times in the past and saving them from a new threat every time. He mentioned, offhandedly, how he figured that the locals must technically consider him some sort of hero or legend by now based upon how well he had been received before. There was no way he could have expected this.

Oh, they thought him a hero alright. Definitely.

She hadn’t even opened the thing yet and it was already too much for her. Her hands were shaking with barely concealed laughter as she flipped between random pages in the book, not really looking to actively immerse herself in it yet desperate for a juicy paragraph or two.

And God. She was not disappointed:

“Oh, Doctor,” sighed Anahi, melting into his embrace, “You came for me!”

“I could never leave you, my poignant weeping blossom,” he professed. “You have captured not only both of my wandering hearts, but my body and my soul as well. My love, I am yours.”

The Doctor placed kisses along the fleshy ridges of her neck, making Anahi squirm like a nurseling in pleasure. His strong, velvet-clad arms held her flush against him yet she still craved more. Anahi tugged at the curls concealing the undoubtedly gorgeous expanse of his bare scalp and groaned in need, the vibrations reverberating onto his lips from their position upon her throat.

“I thought you would never return,” she gasped. “I thought… After the uprising… No, after Drewan…”

“Drewan matters not. He is unworthy of you,” he growled. “He shall never have you. No one shall ever take you from me.”

“Oh, Doctor!”

“My love!”

Rose couldn’t hold it in anymore. She burst out laughing right then and there, burying her face in the pages of the book, guffaws violently jarring the serenity of the library. Blimey, this was too much. She wasn’t built for this kind of relentless assault.

She had to keep reading.

“Rose?” called a familiar voice.

Or not.

Rose quickly shut the book, shoving it behind her as she twisted around. She backed up against the shelf behind her and plastered on an innocent smile. She hoped, no, prayed, that her cheeks weren’t as flushed as she felt them to be.

The Doctor’s inquiring expression greeted her. “You were pretty loud,” he began, stepping toward her. “What’s so funny?”

“Uhh… Well,” she struggled for an explanation, “S’nothing, really. Jus’… Just this really silly—” she glanced around her, recalling precisely what section of the library she was in—“cookbook I found.”

His face contorted into further confusion.

“Yeah. Uh, more of a joke, really. 1000 recipes not to feed your… your nurseling.” Rose cringed. “Funnier than it sounds.”

“Can I see?” he asked, his confusion melting into that of skeptical acceptance and mild interest. He moved to peer behind her, but she deftly turned and pressed herself even further against the bookshelf so as to block his view. She could feel the wood digging into her arms.

“Nope. It’s not anything you’d like to see. Really. Trust me,” she said, biting her lip to suppress a chuckle at the memory of what she just read.

“Rose, if it made you laugh so unabashedly in a place like this, it’s definitely something I’d like to see.”

“No. Honest. I swear—”

It was at that moment a book fell from its perch behind her. Rose jumped in surprise and quickly bent to retrieve it, startled by the loud thump it created upon meeting the floor. It was one of the books opened for display and she must have dislodged it as she backed up.

The Doctor wasn’t one to waste an opportunity, however, and he snatched the novel from her unassuming hands the moment she shifted from her position of defense. She let out a yelp of protest and dashed to pry it away from him before he could properly witness the cover.

Too late.

She watched in mounting horror as his eyes drifted over the illustration and read the title.

“D… Doctor… Sexy…? ” he whispered, eyes wide. Rose groaned. Here we go. “This is what you were reading?”

She nodded.

“B-but—this doesn’t make sense—why would something like this… Why… What?”

Rose coughed, “Apparently, Doctor, some people think you’re um, well—” she gestured in the book’s general direction—“sexy.”

“That’s…”

“You’ve got a history here, yeah? Hero and whatnot. That’s pretty hot.”

He furrowed his brows and leafed through the pages of the novel, his face reddening as he advanced through it. His increasing embarrassment lessened the strength of her own embarrassment and by the time he looked up Rose felt the beginning of a smile gracing her lips. God, this was so surreal.

“This isn’t even anything like me!” The Doctor cried, incredulous. “I would never—I certainly wouldn’t—I would never do any of this stuff!”

She snickered, “Oh, I don’t know. Seems pretty in character to me.”

“Rose,” he whined. She grinned at him shamelessly. “You know this isn’t accurate. It’s ridiculous! Fantasy fodder. Entirely fictitious!”

“Fiction stems from reality, Doctor.”

“No, no, no, no, no. Not in this case it doesn’t.”

Rose tilted her head inquiringly, “So you honestly think you’d never say a single word of this? All those passionate declarations of love and devotion and stuff?”

“They’re the single most cliché, contrived declarations I have ever had the misfortune of discovering—”

“Oi, that’s a bit harsh, innit?”

“Harsh?”

“They’re not all that bad.”

“Rose, you can’t be defending this? That’s supposed to be me on those pages. This is slander; I am personally victimized.”

“I’m not on about that, Doctor. I agree with you there. Can’t take that book seriously, honestly,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m jus’ saying that those words are the kinda thing people love to hear. Passionate and adoring. Yeah, it’s kinda cheesy, but that’s what stuff like this is for. It’s all self-indulgent. Love for the hopeless romantic.”

He regarded her wearily, but the indignance in his gaze seemed to wane.

“When was the last time you visited? Must’ve been a long while ago judging by your appearance. You said it yourself: you’re like a legend to them. Something distant yet wonderful. Something they can pile their desires onto without much trouble. It makes them happy.”

“How do you know so much about this?”

“S’common sense,” Rose shrugged, tongue peeking out through her teasing smile.

“Don’t think so,” he said, “because then I’d be an expert on this.” The Doctor glanced back down at the book in his hands and eyed it with distaste. “Something I most certainly am not.”

Rose sighed, “Oh, tell me about it.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

It was then that a librarian glided up to them, a stern expression on her face. Turns out they have been rather disruptive for the past few minutes, dropping books and speaking absurdly loudly, and she figured it was time to insist upon their dismissal for the sake of her peace-loving patrons. They could come back, she told them, once they decided to abide by library policy.

In other words, they were kicked out.

The walk to the TARDIS had them improperly amused in the end, the Doctor’s previous dissatisfaction forgotten in the wake of other more important matters like going home. Lamenting on the fact that they never seemed to be able to go anywhere without being given the boot, they walked hand-in-hand, smiling like the trouble-makers they were.

“Tell me what you will, but I honestly don’t think you could ever catch me saying anything out of that book,” the Doctor told her upon reaching the TARDIS doors. He no longer bore his earlier offended tone, but he clearly must have felt the need to clarify.

“Really?” Rose asked. “Never call anyone your poignant weeping blossom?”

The Doctor made a face. “Never.”

She just laughed, following him up the ramp inside. Rose didn’t doubt him; he probably really would never say anything so honestly and aggressively romantic. It was an aspect exclusively reserved for the man he never could be, trapped in between the pages of that silly book, only found stemming from the minds of people who honestly weren’t all that different from Rose herself.

She might not have been so tawdry in her own musings, but she couldn’t deny how some things appealed to her immensely. She recalled a sentence from the book that stood out to her almost painfully.

My love, I am yours.

Yeah. It would be nice to hear, wouldn’t it?

#ficandchips #tenth doctor x rose tyler #ten x rose #dwfic #tenth doctor #rose tyler #doctor who #IT WASNT EVEN A GLITCH #I CANT EVEN BLAME TUMBLR #I LITERALLY JUST CLICKED DELETE AND CONFIRMED IT AND I DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE #IT HAPPENED SO QUICK #fanfics #im lucky i managed to save the html code so i wouldnt have to reformat it omfg

8 notes · View notes

simplyshelbs16xoxo · 7 years

Text

Stories & Stories

a prompt fill for @holidaysat221b‘s Sherlolly Prompt Fest.

Prompt from @penaltywaltz: Sherlock moves in with Molly and begins perusing her book collection, picking up random books that have interesting looking covers, and the next thing Molly knows he’s turned into a fantasy buff.

It's no secret that Sherlock Holmes is a curious man. It had only been two days since he had officially moved in with Molly and he had been snooping around her flat to get a feel for everything. His behavior was quite amusing to her, seeing him attempt to gather data about her that he simply couldn’t deduce before. It was a couple days later when he decided to peruse her bookshelf, crammed with all sorts of stories.

“Looking for something to read?” Molly asked as she walked past him.

“N-no, just browsing,” Sherlock replied.

“You mean deducing?” Molly laughed. “Well go on then.”

“It’s obvious that the more worn books are favorites of yours, as they’ve been read several times over judging by the weakness in their spines. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland seems to have been a childhood favorite as it is the oldest book on your shelf and was probably passed down from your mother to you,” Sherlock explained with a smile.

“Not bad,” Molly smiled back before leaving to start her laundry. Sherlock found several titles of interest based on their covers such as The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Infernal Devices Trilogy, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, and Harry Potter (all seven books). Molly even owned a few classics like The Jane Austen Collection, A Tale of Two Cities, Hamlet, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, A Christmas Carol and Phantom of the Opera. Sherlock figured he would read a few of these, so he took out The Hobbit which began his introduction to the fantasy genre.

Eight Hours Later

“That Gandalf is a sneaky one, Molly,” Sherlock announced.

“Enjoying the book are you?” She inquired with a playful smirk.

“Finished it, actually. Smaug was quite enjoyable. Poor Thorin though,” Sherlock remarked, placing the book back on the shelf and picking up the The Fellowship of the Ring.

Two Weeks Later

Molly had just come home from work when she saw the scattering of sticky notes placed all around the sitting room and stuck between pages of The Lord of the Rings books. There were theories written on some of them, while other notes simply contained page numbers with questions. He was in deep. Sherlock was typing on his phone, clearly in thought.

“Alright, Sherlock,” Molly began as she picked the books up off the table. “You’re clearly driving yourself mad over this. I didn’t think fantasy was your cup of tea.”

“It wasn’t. It just…sort of…happened,” Sherlock confessed. “Don’t worry about the mess, Molly, I’ll take care of it. I’m done with the series. I’ll probably move on to another one soon enough.”

“Alright, well don’t stay up too late. You need your sleep,” Molly told him before kissing him gently.

The Following Weekend

It was a Saturday when Sherlock came back from solving a particularly interesting case which involved making the murders look like they were caused by vampires. It was definitely a ten and John had begun blogging about it almost immediately. He walked in to find Molly curled up with a book and a cup of tea.

“You look chipper,” Molly remarked. “Successful solved case?”

“It was a solid ten, Molly, maybe even an eleven,” Sherlock smiled with delight.

“An eleven, huh? Wow, what was it?” She asked.

“A couple of murders made to look like a vampire’s doing,” Sherlock told her. He then proceeded to tell her the details of the case which fascinated her in every way. “I would love a book that contains vampires. Do you have any that do?”

“Um, yea, there’s The Infernal Devices trilogy which has all sorts of supernatural creatures and it takes place in Victorian London,” Molly suggested.

“Brilliant!” Sherlock exclaimed.

Throughout the week, Molly enjoyed hearing Sherlock’s passing comments about the series. He’d talk about how he related to Jem Carstairs’ affinity for the violin and Will Herondale’s snarky tendencies. He would even tell Molly that he pictured her as Tessa, as she was a bit similar to the fictional character even in looks. Sherlock would try to solve the mysterious plot lines before they were revealed, in which he was usually right, only being completely surprised by one of the twists. Molly was more than happy to have intellectual conversation with him about a series they both enjoyed.

One Week Later

Sherlock was hooked on Harry Potter after finishing the first book that he went on to read the next two within the same week. He knew his Hogwarts house was Ravenclaw and deduced that Molly was a Hufflepuff, which she confirmed later on. He even went so far as to sort John into Gryffindor and Mycroft into Slytherin. He became enamored in the world of magic, though it wasn’t a logical scenario. Ginny reminded him of Molly a bit with her fierce demeanor. Another week passed and another three books were read. He finally got around to The Deathly Hallows, soaking up every last word. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell was another magical novel that caught Sherlock's attention after finishing the Harry Potter series. The historical background and the magical elements drew him in immediately An alternate 19th century England was fascinating in itself.

This pattern of devouring stories continued until he ran out of books to read from Molly’s shelf. When that happened, Molly took him to her favorite bookstore to pick out a few new stories to read together. He particularly preferred fantasy novels that contained maps and a complex history. Going to the bookstore once a month became a routine for them. The pair ended up forming a book club just for the two of them.

AO3

#Sherlolly #Sherlolly Prompt Fest #my fanfiction #a bit of a crack!fic #prompt fill

20 notes · View notes

scorpion-life · 7 years

Text

Well lookie here, I'm actually doing a tag game (nobody freak out)! The first one in awhile. Thanks for the tag @fatesofstarlight 😊 (I just realized this was sitting in my drafts and never posted...oops!)

-Jane Austen: Who was your first love? There was a guy I dated my last year and half of high school and beyond that I thought I loved. You know how those young romances go. But now that I look back on it, I think I was more in love with being in a relationship and not so much him. So I'm still waiting for that once in a lifetime love ❤️.

-Ray Bradbury: What is your favorite book? In all honesty, I don't know if I do have a favorite book (which is very surprising for an avid reader like me). I do have a favorite genre though - anything that has a little mystery, action, and romance is right up my alley, so you'll often find me reading mystery/spy books. However, I do have a few classics that I really enjoy too - any Jane Austen (I own the hardback versions of all her books), Tale of Two Cities, and Little Women. (But seriously, it is my dream to own a Beauty and the Beast library one day, and I'm off to great start 🤓) Oh and I can't forget Nancy Drew - those books were basically all I read over and over again when I was younger. It's because of those books that I fell in love with mysteries and puzzles and all that fun stuff

-Charles Darwin: What is your favorite animal? Is this even a question? It's cats of course!

-Alice Walker: What is your favorite color? Purple or Pink or Grey (It’s weird, I know)

-Kurt Vonnegut: What is your favorite breakfast cereal? WAFFLE CRISP! Or anything with chocolate 😍

-J.D. Salinger: What was your favorite subject in school? Okay, this isn't fair - I'm an all around nerd and lover of school (maybe that's why I'm still in it). I was one of those students that really enjoyed everything I took. And once I left school for for college I took even more interesting classes - human osteology, criminal deviance, deviant behavior, forensic classes, and I could go on and on (but I won't). ALTHOUGH, if I hadn't to pick just one subject, that would HAVE to be Physics. I fell in love with it my junior year of high school, the only girl and only junior in a senior level AP Physics class - those two things meant I was the brunt of any and all jokes from those older so called men, but I didn't let it deter me. It was such a fun and interesting class - making machines, programming robots, heck, even the problem solving was fun. And ever since that class my junior year, physics has always been my favorite (to me, the things I learned are like solving a mystery in its own sense, figuring out what to put together to solve the problem at hand) - okay, I've rambled enough. Needless to say, physics has always been my favorite class I've taken.

-J.K. Rowling: What is your favorite magical creature? I don't have one - I've never really gotten into magical creatures

-Neil Gaiman: What religion are you? Christian

-Oscar Wilde: What is your vice? Self-indulgence (stealing this one from Maggie because it's what I do too)

-Julia Child: What is the best meal you’ve ever eaten? Hmmm, I love food, like more than anything, so I've had a lot of super fantastic meals over the years. But if I had to pick just one, it was this garlic pasta dish from a small, family owned Italian restaurant in Chicago (but I can't remember the name). It was to die for.

-Stephen King: What was your last Halloween costume? I haven't dressed up in years, but I think the last costume I wore was a modern day Cinderella costume. My friends and I dressed up as the Disney Princesses our senior year of college (the first time around for me 😂). I had the tiara, the hair, the blue dress, and even sparkly heels 😂😂

-Harper Lee: Who was your childhood best friend? A girl that I met when I was two. Our mothers made us friends and then we went to the same elementary school, so we always considered each other best friends. But then come junior high, she ditched me the first day - I was more interested in school and math and science competitions, while she was more into boys and being popular. Looking back I realize she always used me for her own benefit.

-Brothers Grimm: What is your favorite fairytale? Rapunzel, through and through

-F. Scott Fitzgerald: What is the best party you ever attended? I'm not really a party type girl - I'm more the type that sits at a bar or table drinking whiskey and judging everyone around me... 😳 But seriously, I rarely dance and I don't like making a fool of myself, so I normally slink back into the background at any party I'm at.

-George R. R. Martin: Summer or winter? Winter, between those two, but I'm really a Fall girl.

-Mark Twain: What was your favorite thing to do as a kid? Read And solve logic problems :-)

-Edgar Allan Poe: What scares you the most? Loneliness or not succeeding like I want to

-Herman Melville: Beach or mountains? Mountains - some of my favorite memories were made in the mountains :-)

-Roald Dahl: What is your favorite candy? Anything chocolate - the more chocolate, the better

-Jack Kerouac: Where do you want to travel? Europe, specifically France 😍

I tag @southernbookgirl, @livingwithashipname, and anyone else who wants to do it!

6 notes · View notes

geblinforhire-blog · 6 years

Text

Why do people lie to protect their personal image?

By: Giovanni Castellanos, Anthony Pleta-Ruano, Christian Nunez, Giselle Aguilar, Luis Pimental, and Phoebe Vu

Lying is the act of purposely stating something that is not true, and in many cases people in both media and throughout history have lied in order to achieve something. Whether it is to gain some sort of recognition, self-protection or just to have an advantage over someone, people have always lied to exploit the goodness of society. It doesn’t matter why someone may lie to someone else, their reasons will have the same underlying theme of protecting their personal image. The next few pieces of media will showcase this idea of protecting someone's own personal image through different means and ideas.

Protecting Personal Image

BBC’s Pride and Prejudice

A person’s image is something they take close to their heart. It’s exactly how they view themselves and how other view him/her, because everyone can be self conscience about themselves. Asking a person if they are self conscious about himself is already hard to bring up, for it can be taken both positively and negatively. That may seem like a bold statement to make, but it's the reason why you get up in the morning and check yourself out in the mirror. Your personal image affects every aspect of your life, your job, relationship and social life. A person will always try to create an aura around them self, making sure that people view them in one certain specific way. Although a person lies to protect their personal image, it is only to defend themselves from becoming self conscience.

The lengths a person would go making sure that nothing affects how a people view themselves is incredible. A person can lie about their entire life, make others view them in a certain way, but I believe the ideology of personal image comes from social classes. When the creation of social classes people from different hierarchies act different. What it can range from how is you act, dress and speak. There are always good representations and examples of people lying only to protect their personal image to only gain a foot in life. A clear example is from the film industry and book literature, a movie like Titanic, Good will hunting, or even Saturday Night Fever are excellent examples. But the most sensational one that speaks for itself is Pride and Prejudice the British television series. The movie/ TV series explains that love has no boundaries and to never judge a book by its cover, the main characters of the film explain that lying to protect their personal image is never appleasing.

A certain character in the BBC television series of Pride and Prejudice use lies and deceit to get an advantage in life. This man is named Mr. Wickham, in the beginning he was perceived as a sweet thoughtful man with the purest intentions at heart, but he was lying hiding his true nature and only trying gain an advantage in life. Most of his life in his backstory he was lied his way through follow his true passion; money, this greed caused him to lie towards Elizabeth and the Bennets to only gain a higher social status with money. Overall a personal image is important to a person and it can also a curse but, why people lie is to only protect themselves and reach a higher status in life.

To Gain an Advantage

Intro to Middle Ages and Chaucer’s Bio

The article The Middle Ages by David Adams Leeming basically summarizes the origins of England, going as far back as the early as 1066 during the Anglo-Saxon era. It touches each important aspect of the Middle Ages, such as explaining the social system that the old English society followed. Essentially, English society was based on Feudalism, or a social class structure and that Kings were on top while common people and worker slaves are on the bottom. Even though the Middle Ages had themes of chivalry and honor, there are moments of lying and deception have taken place throughout the era. In the modern day, society often romanticized the Middle Ages for having knights and kings, but in reality old English society was very dark. In this case the “lying” comes from the people itself. As stated in the article, “feudalism was also a caste system, a property system, and a military system. Ultimately, it was based on a religious concept of hierarchy”, meaning that the caste or social system was set up so that someone would be clearly above you unless you were at the very top. The need for people to get to the “good life” or just raise their social status in society would cause them to try to climb at any cost, which would result in them lying to each other trying to make themselves look better but in reality nothing is gained. In the introduction biography of Geoffrey Chaucer the author, Joseph Addison, summarizes the background and impact that Chaucer has left on the world. The man was a lawyer, a royal servant, a diplomat, a soldier, and a manager of a port. All of his professions essentially always had him interacting with other people. Chaucer was able to learn about humans and every side of them, good, bad or somewhere inbetween through his interactions throughout his lifetime. He also had interactions with a colorful cast of pilgrims when he took a journey to Canterbury Cathedral, which was also assumed to be his inspiration to write The Canterbury Tales. The biography gives more background to Chaucer and the society that he was living in. Based on his lifestyle and those he was around, people lied to each other to gain an advantage in society. Chaucer has surrounded himself with people who were willing to lie to make themselves look better in the eyes of society. As referenced in the biography, Chaucer has made many pieces of literature on human nature, showcasing the negatives of humans through satire and witty writing. These works show “generalized” people in society being deceitful in order to gain an advantage over each other, as shown in The Canterbury Tales, and House of Fame. His reflective work of human nature show that people are willing to lie in order to protect their personal image.

Canterbury Tales Prologue

In Geoffrey Chaucer’s the Prologue from The Canterbury Tales, many of the characters described by the author are shown to be lying or hiding secrets in order to gain an advantage and trust in their community and in society. They use the advantages and trust they gain from others for their own personal gains which is usually money and wealth. Chaucer depicts many of these characters to have traits that conflict with or take advantage of what their job is or what their role is in society. Chaucer also describes how many of these characters appear to be trustworthy in public and in their daily lives, but then reveals in which ways they are lying in order to take advantage of the people around them.

One of the characters that is clearly shown to be lying and taking advantage of others is the Doctor. He lies to others to influence what others think about him and to hide the fact that he is not a real doctor and that he sells fake medicine. He does this to make a profit for himself because he cares more about his own wealth than other people. Another character that is lying and untrustworthy would be the Pardoner because he lies and takes advantage of others in order to make a profit off of people and the church. He lies to gain the trust of the public and sells them fake religious items and they believe that they are real and that he is trustworthy.

The characters that lie and take advantage of others all do so in order to obtain their own personal wants and needs. They must lie to be successful because they need to make sure that other people trust them and aren’t suspicious at all if they are being taken advantage off. If the characters didn’t consistency lie to influence how other people viewed them, then they would most likely lose their job or any profit they were gaining from everyone else that believed them. They are protecting and influencing their personal image in order for others to trust them and this allows the character to take advantage of others very easily without anyone trying to stop or question them.

Self Gain

Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice

The 1813 classic novel Pride and Prejudice, takes place within the household of an anything but ordinary family. The eldest Jane had fallen in love with a man who so happened to have great fortune. However, for Elizabeth, her luck with romance is not quite the same. In fact, Elizabeth had to overcome her prejudices towards first impressions and her overlying pride to let things go, simply to have her “ happily ever after.” Her actions and thoughts are what represent the entirety of the book, pride and prejudices. However, as not suggested by the title, social status and personal gain play a big role in understanding some of the characters and the era itself.

In chapter 22, a conversation takes place between Elizabeth, the main protagonist and her best friend, Charlotte to whom has married Mr. Collins. Despite Elizabeth’s dismay, Charlotte says, “ I hope you will be satisfied with what I have done. I am not romantic, you know; I never was. I ask only a comfortable home; and considering Mr. Collins' character, connection, and situation in life, I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the marriage state,” to reassure her friend that she is happy with her marriage. It can be noted that Charlotte has lied or as she said, “convinced herself” that she did what’s best for herself, seek financial security since that was her only chances of happiness. She says this because Charlotte is not very attractive and did not have much going for her. Thus Charlotte is an accurate depiction of both fictional and modern day people who lie either to others or themselves for personal gain.

Furthering the ideology of self gain through lying is in chapter 34, where Mr.Darcy displaces his affections towards Elizabeth. “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” However, furthering his confession with telling her she is beneath his status. The entirety of his attitude and snobby nature was due to his feelings for Elizabeth. He felt so ashamed that he would have such admiration for her. Thus, lying to himself and to others to protect his social status. His status becomes more prevalent when Lady Catherine threatens Elizabeth to rejecting Mr.Darcy’s proposal. It was shamed upon to marry someone of a lower socioeconomic class, playing upon the theme of lying to yourself so that your outer appearance cannot be damaged.

Reputation

On Seeing England for the First Time

In Jamaica Kincaid’s essay On Seeing England for the First Time, the author writes about her “experiences” with England or the idea of England. Since her childhood she has been surrounded by English culture without actually being English, but actually being Antiguan. As she grows up she learns more about England and their mistakes from an outside perspective. She feels as though she had been “conquered” by England and her own prejudice against the society has grown because of it. As she grows up her hatred for England becomes solid when she travels there and criticizes everything. In the end her opinion of everything English did not change.

From the perspective of Kincaid, England as a society is lying to themselves and the rest of the world in order to look better. She views it from a historical point of view, back when England was an empire and ruled the world. She feels that the English society was built on the suffering of others, and continues to be horrible as she witnesses how rude the modern English are when she visits as an adult. Basically, English society disregards their past and ignores their mistakes in order to keep up their status of being a world superpower or an “empire”.

The writing piece could also be viewed as Kincaid lying to others to protect herself and her own insecurities. From an early age she has had an identity crisis and uses England as something to blame all of her problems on. Since birth she has been surrounded by these ideas of England being the “parent” to her country and a presence in her own society. This has caused her to feel like she has been “conquered” by England. Over time she uses something of a superiority complex, believing that her culture is better in every shape and form, to hide a her own feelings of inferiority, always being taught to look up to English society. During her trip she goes to a souvenir shop and states to both her friend and the clerk that she and her husband would never wear anything with the Prince of Wales crest on it. Kincaid has been told, “the prince was a symbol of her Englishness” and that they offended her friend. Kincaid disregards this statement and their friends feelings which creates a divide between them. Her own need to “protect” herself from English society has caused her to unnecessarily hate someone she has never met before.

The Orville and Black Mirror In the episode “Majority Rule” in The Orville, a team is sent to a planet similar to earth, where their entire government is based upon badges that allow people to upvote or downvote them. If a person reaches a certain number of downvotes they will in turn be “corrected.” This makes the person devoid of emotion and thus rendering them to say only positive things such as “you’re a nice person” even though someone could be trying to have a conversation with them. Further into the episode the theme of lying to protect oneself image comes into play is when one of the people on the ship, the Orville, leaked fake pictures and news saying Lt. Lamarr gave tons of money to charity and when pictures of him being photoshopped to look fat as a kid. These were released to alter the citizen’s opinions on him so he wouldn’t get as many downvotes. In a society like that, people are obviously going to lie to protect their personal image to not get “corrected.” Another reason to lie is to protect your image is to be accepted because no one wants to be an outcast, we all want to be popular and liked by everyone or at least most of us do. People are also willing to go certain lengths to gain something; for example, in that society, all someone has to do to get fame is to have an extremely high number of upvotes. Another show that demonstrates how one lies to protect their personal image is “Nosedive” from Black Mirror. The society, in this episode, focuses only on social statuses, for example, if you wanted a high quality living space you had to have a higher status, so to get anywhere your socioeconomic status has to be high ranking. For example, this scene shows how even though she obviously didn’t like the cookie or the drink, but she still “does it for the gram.” This explains why the main girl acts so fake to everyone, but it all goes down the drain when one bad event leads to another. Throughout the episode, it shows how she tries her hardest to act nice to everyone so that people rate her higher and even tries to get close to an old “friend”, or should I say bully, so that she can up her status.

Though many people have lied in order to protect their own personal image, it is practically human nature to do so. The need to lie is similar to a fight or flight response when presented with danger, but in this case the “danger” is the possibility of not being accepted into society. However, this does not excuse or condone lying, it is impossible to lie without negative affect onto other people.

#truthbomb #chaucer #isopod #the orville #england #pride and prejudice

0 notes