#without homework on my back

[rainysaturdayafternoon]

i hate this

#my period is making me angry at everything #i have so much homework #i hate people #my qpp doesn’t like me much anymore #my friends are busy doing things that matter #i’m disconnected from old friends #i’m tired #im hungry for real food #i hate capitalism and genocide #i’m sick of tumblr updates that i hate #i hate people who go out of their way to tell others how haha omg so weird they are #i’m just tired #i want to relax #without homework on my back #or someone getting mad #leah’s lost thoughts

[gumy-shark]

<- god's wettest most pathetic most stressed most anxious beast btw

#i have a flight in 2 days and i hate airports they stress me out so much too many people *vine boom* #i lost my driver's license last month so i'm gonna have to get through the tsa without legal photo ID *vine boom* #the flight takes off at 7am meaning im gonna have to wake up at like 4 to get there *vine boom* #it also means i need to stay the night tomorrow with some family friends i barely know *vine boom* #so i need to do laundry and email teachers and shit Tonight *vine boom* #my ride busted a tire and got stranded in the middle of nowhere so now i have to worry abt his safety and also find a new ride *vine boom* #AND I'VE GOT A FUCKING LAB DUE TOMORROW #so now im just doing homework and daily tasks and whatnot walking around all chill like i dont feel like the most stressed being alive #conclusion: oh shit the Creature is back

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡

[jpdrawsalot]

Sketchbook doodle collages bc I'm procrastinating my archeology homework!!!

I tried to make just a page of pure Janus but I couldn't help but fit in a Zane/Janus, Lillian and an oc doodle in there bc the space was so empty w/o them.

The mini doodles are from class too, mainly of me and my minecrafting adventures lol (im thinking of turning the cringe is dead one into a sticker lol)

[Stickers i used to accent are by minisundaystudio, unicorneclipse, and my local craft store)

#my art #minecraft #minecraft diaries #aphmau #janus the silver death #lillian the silver scythe #zane ro'meave #zanus #hamster #rin #if you see that Zane and Janus are without clothes no you dont. lest the tumblr gods smite me and my agenda #anyways back to my homework eugh

[chiropteracupola]

#the council decides em's fate #today there is no Go Do Your Homework option because you all keep making me do my homework. #this is specifically about a dragon I will draw when I have SEEN THE BACK of at least one essay. I will do the homework WITHOUT ORDERS.

[paintpanic]

about the drawings that made fun of the tropes, will you do more designs or were they just a sketch? (i dont know english, sorry)

I think they were just for fun, but I might play with the idea more in the future. Anybody is free to do whatever with the concept!

#also! no need to apologize about your english. i'm a native speaker and struggle sometimes lol. #at present i'm without power; so drawings won't be here for a while. folks here are saying friday at the earliest it'll be back. #which is frustrating but i'll live. something something accept the things i cannot change. #when power gets back (hopefully soon!🤞) my priorities will probably be catching up on homework and then a personal project. #so this blog might be slow for a while. apologies! #sorry for rambling in the tags of your ask ^^;

[raeofgayshine]

I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person I’m not. And I still have that space even though I’m aroace.

For the first time ever, I see a future where I’m not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. It’s possible to not be constantly lonely.

#ravenpuff rambles #I’ve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times #several of whom are still in my life now #but it’s only been recently that I’ve felt like I truly found my place #I don’t know how to explain it #I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit #and this is the first time I don’t feel like I have to run because I don’t feel like these people are going to leave me #maybe it’s just because one of them is also aroace and we’ve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind #never had someone quite get that before #and maybe it’s just I feel more willing to open my heart #admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and that’s how the friendships really started forming #and so maybe that helps #but it’s like #Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ‘ #‘can I copy your homework?’ ‘yeah just be sure to change it so no one knows’ #It’s a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word #anyways #I’m really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me #and also tell xem that no it doesn’t look like a fanfic dream #no im not their person but yeah they’re kind of mine but that’s okay #its nothing and everything like I always thought of #and for the first time in my life I don’t feel a crush sense of loneliness #yes I wish I could see them in person #but I can be okay with everything I do get

[01tsubomi]

i'm taking the jlpt this sunday and had a stress dream last night abt it bc it sort of snuck up on me and now it's kind of a question of how much my actual japanese abilities will carry me (versus if i should've been cramming on flashcards this past month) but the listening portion is far simpler conversation than my coworkers and i have so. i think that maybe instead of "damn i should've been studying japanese" my perspective should just be "i speak japanese"

#a key part of the dream though was that i failed because i went on a motorcycle joyride during the 40 minute break and didn't make it back #in time for the listening section. the prompt for the listening section btw was to write an essay in english about kirishima eijirou #so i was like damn i would've totally passed #anyway hashtag classic maya but idk #i think i have a bit of a complex abt it bc i was studying for n1 (highest level) in college #but w the switch to online learning we stopped studying the stuff i really needed to work on (vocab and kanji) #and whatever kanji i knew how to write went out the window bc i never had to turn in written homework again #so i really let myself go there for a good two years but since moving last summer i've not only been having japanese conversations every da #i've also actually been studying kanji in my downtime at work #so i have picked up most of the study guide-type information just really slowly over time #i read a ton of manga in japanese lately and most shows on netflix here don't have eng subtitles but i'm fine without them 95% of the time #with the genre of shows i watch at least #so i've been thinking a lot lately abt what my end goal is w japanese studies because 'be able to consume all the art i want' feels like #a good place to be #i do think in the end the only thing between me and n1 is a lot of genuine hard work studying vocab and kanji and reading serious articles #so i feel like all 'sekkaku da shi' i've made it this far why would i just stop working at this point #those are just my thoughts though aaaa i know reading/vocab/grammar section is way more hit or miss #personal

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!! #it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33 #it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer) #my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh. #my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done! #INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!! #truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking? #i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps #BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!! #also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun. #im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!! #i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!! #i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today? #like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.) #(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH. #ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl #really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;) #then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit #okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!

[extemporary-username]

Looking up while brushing my teeth

It's me in the mirror

Hadn't seen him in a while

Welcome back, me

#I've been so giddy lately #actually no clue what giddy means but it feels like a nice word #im literally trembling with stress sometimes and school is killing me #but i wake up in the morning. take a shower. brush my teeth and get nice NICE comfy clothes #and i make breakfast and make my bed #and feed gato and help mom and start the day on time #and enjoy speaking in class and proposing stuff #and every day i have to have lunch in a hurry so i can come home and feed gato and brush my teeth and go back to class #and its awful but i still do it cause i love gato #and i spend some time with friends and maybe i eat a little dessert cause i deserve it #and i do my homework and have dinner and organize the house a bit #and brush my teeth. play with gato. put on pajamas #maybe text some friends and read some fanfics #and i go to sleep and i sleep well even if gato wakes me up at 2am #and im just #living #and i wake up the next day and realize. i couldn't have done this a year ago #and every day i wake up is amazing cause i got so close to giving up #im very glad im still alive #love mom and gato and this small corner of the internet and my friends #and i love myself #couldn't have done this without me #god im crying aksjdjdjdjsk #lukkas rambling nonsense #They said 'TrAnsiTiOniNg DoEsnT CuRE dePreSsIon' #AND IT DOESN'T but GOD DOES IT HELP

[13eyond13]

.

#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw: #i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious #that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much #i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like #such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him #frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again #dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest #the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary #and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit #i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline #which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all #but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored #i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already #so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight #into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them #also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw #but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just #let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too #often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time #i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me #maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a #'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced' #or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought' #or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too' #sort of way... #it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe #it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun #p

[gworlinterrupted]

im pretty anxious today but probs should give myself credit for the fact that i woke up feeling sick last night and did my ERP homework instead of self soothing or reassurance seeking

#alex does erp #bringing that tag back cause im back in erp #getting rly fed up w my ocd #also helps that this weeks homework is smthn i can just do in my brain while laying down in bed or driving or whatever lol #but ive been trying to make it a point to do exposures while already anxious cause im srsly trying to eradicate this shit #and i somehow got rid of my compulsions without making a dent in the amount of anxiety i have lmao #just got rid of my crutch <3

[supercantaloupe]

good gd i fucking love it when my roommate puts on a load of laundry IMMEDIATELY before i can when i have zero clean leggings left and bled through my fucking pants overnight too

#and i have to go to the pharmacy and the supermarket and also get my phone repaired which itself will take like two hours probably #And work on my library science homework And finish my late transcription project #and if i can squeeze in some more work on my research papers #before i have to go to the Fucking Xmas Concert where i'll Sit There for two thirds of the fucking program doing jack shit #gd. it's such a stupid minute fucking thing to get upset about but i'm so overwhelmed #the fact that i can't even just clean my fucking clothes when i need to without it throwing my entire day's plans off #is sending me over the fucking edge this morning. i can't deal withit man #i wanna go back to sleep and never get up again #i wanna talk about me

[isfjmel-phleg]

My life has meaning. There is happiness and fulfillment in the things that I do with it. I may not be taking the same path as many other women, but it's the path that I'm supposed to be on right now.

I am loved. The ways in which I love and am loved have meaning and importance even if it's not the same kind of love that many others have chosen. I am not any less loved because of this.

I am not doomed to a life of misery because of the path that I am taking. I am not woman-ing wrong because of the path that I am taking. I am not less than other women because of the path that I am taking. Taking another path will not magically fix any struggles I may have.

My existence is not a meaningless blank. It is full of good things that matter. I want to appreciate them more.

#random personal stuff #back on my soapbox feel free to ignore #this is not homework I just needed to say this #I get very tired sometimes of how some people (NOT any of you) talk about women in my circumstances #and try to build up their own (already perfectly valid and good!) life choices by painting others' choices as inherently empty and loveless #and quite frankly it kind of hurts to be told directly or indirectly that you can't ever really be happy or loved or fulfilled without XYZ?

[dirt-str1der]

Love the thought of kiryu losing nishikiyamas lighter fucking instantly after he gave it to him. Like he leaves it in the car and nishiki is nice enough to re-gift it to him when they meet up again and then two weeks after that whole fiasco kiryu loses it again and nishiki just buys him those cheap packs of like fifty plastic lighters because this is why they cant have nice things and he hates (loves) him so much

#Yakuza loveblog #like as sweet as it is to have kiryu hold on to that thing forecer (his lighter now) i think he really has a problem with commitment. its #not like he doesnt treasure it. he just does a lot of backflips and jumping around and things inevitably fall out of his pockets #i believe in my heart that kiryu is always losing shit and taking nishikis without permission and breaking it sometimes. like yknow #younger brother behaviour. thats why nishikis always hounding him because hes suffered greatly from kiryus whims #his whimsicality. his ability to wander literally everywhere. i think kiryu played truant in school a lot #like very early on he knew it wasnt for him so hed stalk the streets in his school uniform and climb up or under fences and rip up his skirt #and knees and then when he meets up with nishiki and yumi again hes like hey wanna come lepak in this abandoned building i found ? and theyd #be like YEAH !!!! and bring yuko along too because i love her and she should get to cut her arm open on a rusty metal screw and have to be #sent to the hospital as little girls are prone to doing. i love talking about kiryu in his school uniform god .. i really ... like i just #know he would use it to its fullest like i have a very clear image in my minds eye of kiryu as a kid all covered in dirt from climbing into #gardens and dusty old buildings morning to afternoon and carrying cool rocks around in his skirt and when he gathers them all in a pile he #just dusts off his skirt and its literally still covered in dirt and mud and dust but he does not give a shit. like it would literally be #ripped up the back because hes always sliding down concrete slopes and banisters and im sure hes cut his leg open before and just bled. #all over his nice boue uniform and then limped home and soaked it in a bucket to wear tomorrow. like i see kiryu with a lot of free time and #he never does homework and is failing all his classes by choice because he alrrady knows what he wants to do. like hes only failing because #he doesnt show up for exams and hes literally the bad boy that the girls always ask nishiki to introduce them to like omg is kazuko your #sister ?? can you give her this letter ... and nishiki opens it and reads it first and its a love letter and he just gives it to kiryu like #there are hot girls in your area who want you desperately and kiryus like oh. neat. im skipping school again tomorrow btw do not tell oyasan

[sunjoys]

i hate customers i need to gnaw their arms off pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls

#hen party from hell today at work #my coworker who was taking their order did fuck up a few times im ngl (like she kept going back to check stuff etc altho she did get #it all correct once it was put through to the kitchen) #but like i KNOW our service overall wasnt that bad bc a table that arrived at the same time + similar size tipped us 20 eur and said #“everything was great” #but like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the hen party !!! ohhhh my god . #17 people all trying to pay separately . i need my workplace to set up a policy of no splitting bill more than idk 5 times #anyway when there was about 5 ppl left my coworker was like “would you mind splitting the bill between you? it would make things simpler” #they said sure and paid #AND THEN THE BRIDE (?) CAME UP TO US AFTER AND OCMPLAINED #amongst other things she was like “halfway through paying you told us we couldnt pay separately and at the start u said we could” #GIRL MY COWORKER ASKED IF YOU COULD SPLIT IT BETWEEN YOUS. YOU COULDVE JUST SAID “NO WE WANT TO PAY SEPARATELY” #LIKE YOU HAVE THE POWER HERE #i just .. .. we told the manager after she complained and he was chill abt it lol #but then she SENT AN EMAIL. WITH PHYSICAL DESCRIPTIONS OF US #“the one w nose piercings the blonde the redhead etc” like jesus crhist. if i gave you a gun you would def shoot me without hesitation #anyway . im sooo. i just had a coffee so now im like intensified. and i have to do hashtag homework mmm yummy #long post #<- in case the long tags r a pain. i probably couldve made a separate post but i couldnt be bothered to be quite honest. anywya. <3 #live laugh love guys <33