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avintagekiss24 · 3 years

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—belated; bucky barnes

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x black!reader

word count: 4738

warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, sex, rough sex, anal sex, biting kink, choking kink, spanking, pain kink, vaginal fingering, mean bucky (my fave), ring kink cuz i love it when boys wear rings

squares filled: @buckybarnesbingo Y3: Birthdays ; @badthingshappenbingo Biting ; @star-spangled-bingo N1: Taking Charge

request: bucky barnes + "pay attention to me or i'll make you" + anal + choking + spanking + biting + pain

author note: it's been foreverrrrr! i'm so sorry! i had to work myself through a little slump! hopefully this makes up for the almost two months we've gone without a fic! this is story #2 for my 5k celebration, all fics will be tagged #5k...holy god. this was formatted in the beta text post editor on desktop, if anything looks weird, that's why :)

gif by @pedropcl ; line divider by @firefly-graphics

James Buchanan Barnes is possessive.

One of those massive hands around the back of your neck as you walk casually through the streets. Fingers wrapped around your wrist, or shoulder, or hip in a tight grip. He pulls you in close— right into his side as shopping bags hang from the tips of his metal fingers.

Bucky Barnes wants every man on the streets of Greece to know that you are his.

Not that you mind; quite the contrary. You just smile and giggle when he throws his heavy arm around your shoulders and hooks the crease of his arm right underneath your chin. Slip your hand into the back pocket of his loose dark jeans (giving that little tush of his a squeeze). Slink your arm around his little waist and breathe in his scent— heavy and woodsy— as the two of you stroll.

After all, he’s just as much yours as you are his.

All of his friends, Sam, Steve, Clint, all see the change in him. The little soft spot for you that blinds him entirely— turns him in a mushy puddle of emotions and puppies and rainbows. Very different from the Bucky they grew up with, but a Bucky that the three of them have come to enjoy. It’s a change of pace from the enforcer they know.

The two of you don’t talk about his work— in fact, it’s the reason why you’re in Greece to begin with. A late birthday present to make up for the fact that his “work” just happened to be the waiter at the restaurant he chose to take you to for your thirty second birthday. Come on babe, he chuckled as you scowled back at him over the rim of your wine glass, watching as he stained his white napkin red with his bloody knuckles, you know what they say, kill two birds with one stone… not funny?

Two weeks, two nonrefundable, open ended tickets, and five grand in bikinis, shorts, and shoes later, you’re getting some much needed Greek sun on your deep brown skin.

He’s even letting you call the shots for a change. Letting you wake him up at the ass crack of dawn to have breakfast— a spread of breads, cheeses and fruits on the balcony of your room as the sun rises. He doesn’t say a word as you drag him through the city, stopping at each little boutique and shoe store. Sits patiently as you try on every dress, every skirt, and every silk top in the entire country it seems.

Bucky even bit his lip as you gazed at engagement rings— hinting that princess cut is your favorite as you held your hand up into the natural sunlight as one adored your finger. Smiling over at him and wiggling your eyebrows all the while as he narrowed his eyes and plastered a fake smile on his face.

Today has been like all the others, a lazy day spent on the beach, a quick nap underneath an umbrella, a concoction of too much sun and too many margaritas going straight to your head. Now, you’re kinda sleepy and kinda drunk, but most importantly hungry— and Mykonos sounds like a great place for dinner. Despite Bucky’s objections (you’re too tired and too drunk to handle a ferry), you’re dressed in a cute little flowery sundress, him in an out-of-character white tank top, open pale blue and green striped button down and khaki chinos— you forbade him from bringing anything black— and you’re flip flops are slapping against the cobblestone street towards the ferry.

“Drop your attitude,” You say, glancing over your shoulder as he pays for your tickets, “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, that excuse is wearing thin, girl.” You stumble a little with the motion of the ferry as you step onto it, having to grab onto the railing to steady yourself before Bucky grabs hold of your wrist, “Water only for the rest of the night.”

His voice is low and borderline threatening as he presses his lips right against your ear, and you know not to press him any further. You like to stick your toes right up against his line and that’s what irritates him most about you (always what he loves most), but you and he both know you’d never dare cross it.

Bucky pulls you behind him, hand around your wrist, that possessive trait rearing its head as male eyes fall on you as the two of you pass by. He finds an empty spot, away from the crowd, and plops down on the bench as you step up on the lower rung of the railing and stare out over the sea.

Within twenty or thirty minutes, the ferry pulls away from the dock and you can’t wipe the smile from your face. The sun sets off in the distance, the bright lights of the city turning into little pinpoints. Small droplets of the cool, salty water splashes up in your face as the wind and the ferry whips it up. You keep glancing down at the phone in your hand as you broadcast your current view to your instagram, laughing softly as hearts and emojis explode on your screen.

You lean forward, tilting your phone and smiling wide, waving into the camera before you shout out how much you love it here. The words are barely out of your mouth before an arm wraps around your middle, a wide, hard chest pressed into your back, “That’s enough,” he reaches with his metal arm, grabbing your phone, ending your live feed, “You’re too drunk to be hanging off the side like that.”

“I am not,” you struggle against him lightly as he sets you on your feet, “What is your problem?”

“I’m annoyed.”

“Well, duh. Why?”

He slips your phone into his pocket and crosses his arms over his chest, sharp blue eyes piercing into yours, “Pay attention to me,” he says low, eyes dropping down your body real slow as he drags his bottom lip between his teeth, “Or I’ll make you.”

So that’s what it’s about. Bucky Barnes feels neglected between all the shopping and beach days and margaritas. Jealousy is cute on him.

The words though, they strike you right to your core— feel them down to your bones. A hard swallow pushes through your throat as your lips part, big brown eyes softening as your breath starts to rush a little harder. You hate to admit— not really— you love this Bucky. This is work Bucky, a man you rarely get to see. Slightly scary, anger brimming just below the surface. Jaw tight, eyes hard, head tilted just a bit. He’s menacing, and it makes your lips twitch into a small smile.

Shrugging defiantly, you cross your arms over your chest, “You didn’t pay much attention to me on my birthday.”

“Not true.”

“Not true?” you nearly shout, eyes going wide, “I ate alone while you beat the hell outta our waiter behind the building! I had to wait two hours for my slice of cake!”

“How is that my fault?”

You scoff, “Oh, I dunno, maybe because our waiter was spitting out his teeth in the alley out back— all thanks to you.”

“I have to work. You know that.”

“Not,” you hiss, “On my fucking birthday.”

He knows he’s wrong for that shit, so he stands there, huffing quick before he cocks his head again and just blinks back at you— unamused. He won’t apologize, it’s just not in his nature, but his usual attempts to make you happy after he’s fucked up aren’t working; so he’s at a loss.

And you’re enjoying that. A little too much if you ask him.

But alas, it’s not fun to fight on vacation, and you have taken far too many liberties when it comes to his tolerance for attitude. It’s been fun— and you’re just drunk enough to push him one last time.

You move slow, walking right up to him, so close that each inhale pushes your tits into his body. The smirk quirked up on your lips grows as you peer up at him, eyes bouncing between his as you place your hands on his forearms still crossed over his chest.

Bucky lifts his eyebrow as you push up on your tiptoes and push your chin forward to bring your lips close to his, “And just how are you gonna make me pay attention to you, James?”

He inhales deep, pushes it out real slow as he tilts his head even further. A smile spreads on his face and you just know that this is the last thing his work sees before he rearranges the bones of their face. This is exactly why his clients pay him as well as they do.

Thick fingers are wrapped around your wrist again, nails digging into your skin as he starts to pull you behind him. He weaves you through bodies, you nearly having to jog to keep up with his strides. Laughter bubbles up in your chest, a little shriek escaping as he pulls you down some stairs to the lower level of the ferry. Once your feet hit the last step, Bucky whips you around his body, sending you spinning and laughing until you bounce into an old, rusty metal barrel.

The smell of salt fills your nose and lungs as you inhale, covering your face with your hands. Your skin is hot, lips slightly numb as you dissolve into laughter again. He’s right, you’re a little too drunk for this.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be down here.” You mumble, brushing your wild hair out of your face.

“I could give a fuck,” he answers, stepping up to you, grabbing your face in his hands, “You’ve been testing me the entire time we’ve been here all over some stupid shit.”

Another giggle pushes through your lips as you bat your eyes, “I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky sucks his teeth as he drops his metal hand around your throat and squeezes gently, the rings on his fingers cool against your skin, “I was stupid, okay? But don’t put on that little innocent act, girl. You’re trying me, and I’ve had enough.”

A smile cracks onto your face, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. You wrap both hands around his one wrist and slip them up his arm, feeling the soft metal as you continue to goad him, “You got some proof, big man?”

The tip of his black and gold thumb prods at your lip, pushes just inside. You wrap your tongue around it and suck gently, keeping your eyes on his all the while.

Bucky laughs, deep and earnestly, “Proof, she says. She needs proof.” He glances around before he spins you quick, facing you away from him as he lifts your dress to reveal your pink satin thong.

You squeal loud, pushing and slapping at his hand as he grabs a handful of your ass, “Bucky! There’s people!” you laugh, “Oh my god!”

“Keep your voice down,” he warns, wrapping his metal fingers around your throat again, “Understand?”

A jolt of electricity flashes through you as you wiggle in his grasp. He tightens his grip around your neck as you wrap your fingers around the edge of the barrel, swallowing hard.

“That requires an answer, honey.”

The chill in his voice, added with the slow circles and soft tickles of fingertips against the back of your naked thigh sends a pang through your belly, “I understand.”

He chuckles soft and with a quick peck on the cheek whispers, “Good girl.”

Bucky curls his left arm around your chest, hooking your chin in the crease of his arm as he grips your right shoulder. You grab on to it with both hands, out of instinct, eyes wide and skirting around for any signs of other human presence down here. Bucky turns, moving you with him to eye the steps quickly again before that flesh hand sweeps around to the front.

The soft material of your dress falls over his hand as he rubs your stomach— his rings catching and snagging your skin. That hand pushes downward, over your thighs, gripping and kneading the soft flesh before he grabs the hem of your dress and pulls it upward, exposing those expensive panties again.

“Bucky,” you hum, his name trembling on your lips with the vibrations of your excitement, “Baby.”

He rucks your dress right up— right up around your waist and pulls the slack behind you, pressing his body into yours to keep it in place. The dark stubble adorning his cheeks and chin cuts into the side of your face as he nuzzles in, humming to himself soft before he kisses the corner of your mouth.

Those fingertips start to trace the hem of your thong— slowly. Back and forth, back and forth. From hip to hip. Your eyes flutter. Fingers grip the soft black metal of his arm a little harder. Legs go to jelly as another hard swallow passes through your throat.

“Ain’t got all that mouth now, do you?” He whispers, fingers slipping just inside the silk of your panties to tease the delicate skin underneath.

When he slips his hand in— all the way in— cupping hot skin, fingers dancing between folds and teasing a wet slit, an influx of air fills your lungs. A gasp, small and clipped sounds in the back of your throat as his fingers start a rhythm. You melt into him, head resting on his shoulder as your hips push forward to meet greedy fingers.

A naughty finger pushes in quick, and then a second— all the way to the black and silver rings dressed on them. His arm tightens around your neck as he presses his lips right against your ear, “You need to apologize.”

He fucks his fingers into you, withdrawing slow, and then pushing back in— each time the edges of his rings stopping him from going deeper. You can’t help but purr as you continue to grip his arm with both of your hands.

“I don’t think—“

“All I want to hear,” his words clip yours, each one slow and drawn and deep, “Is I’m sorry for testing your patience. I won’t do it again.” He curls his fingers, the pads stroking that sweet little spongey spot, making you clamp your legs closed around his hand, “Let me hear you.”

You can’t. You won’t. Too stubborn and too drunk to give in to him, wanting to win just this once.

If there’s one thing James Buchanan Barnes does not like, it’s hesitation. It’s dangerous, he always says. You think too long, you get hurt. Predators don’t hesitate.

Well, you like being his prey.

Only a few seconds pass before Bucky tuts in your ear, seemingly disappointed in your obstinate behavior, but you both know it’s just the opposite. His cock pressing into your ass tells you so.

The fingers disappear. The arm choking you just right pulls away and your dress falls back around the middle of your thighs. You huff, wiping quick at your forehead and pushing your wild, curly hair out of your face again.

Your hands find your hips in irritation but he slaps them away quick as he sucks his teeth, “You must really want this spanking, girl. Keep it up.”

That you do— keep it up. Huffing again. Crossing your arms over your chest like a petulant child. Brown eyes cut back at him over your shoulder to find sharp blues already on you. A smirk on his face.

Metal fingers curl around the back of your neck, pushing you forward gently until your thighs press against the old metal barrel again.

“Lean forward, kitten.”

Voice as smooth as silk while you do so, gripping the rusted edges for balance. Your dress is yanked up again— rough this time— and twisted around his Vibranium hand. Then there’s warm, the warmth of skin against yours. Gentle brushes of fingers and a palm rubbing slow circles, then pinching and grabbing soft— prepping your skin for what’s to come.

He pauses for just a second, no doubt to scan your surroundings and then pulls his hand away. You lung forward with the slap he levels to your behind within a fraction of a second— the sound sharp and heavy.

There’s another, and then a third in quick succession before he’s massaging your skin again. Real soft and sweet. Tears burn at the back of your eyes at the sting that radiates through, all the way to your bones but the molten heat deep in your belly spreads like a fire. Each breath is hard and shaky, heart thumping against your chest but it’s so good.

Bucky switches to the other cheek, skilled fingers sweeping over your canvas of skin before he cracks you— one, two, three.

You squeal with each one. The thud of those heavy rings around his fingers send a quick, new shockwave every time, building on the one before it. The tips of your fingers go red from holding on to the rusty old barrel as tight as you are, but your brain? She’s fuzzy and warm, and drifting up into the clouds with each swift slap.

Bucky is a methodical man. Three for the right cheek, three for the left, three right in the middle. His hand sneaks around your hip, giving it a squeeze before it comes back around and drops to the inside of your thigh. Grabs the meat of it— digs his fingernails in just to hear you yelp. Cups your cunt in his palm, feeling the heat and the wet— makes him groan all low and dirty.

He bunches your hair in his hand, tugs you up by it. Spins you around to face him before hoisting you up and settling you on top of the barrel.

“You want me to fuck you so bad, don’t you?” He growls, ripping at the button and zipper of his jeans.

You just hum in response, wrapping your legs around his waist and throwing your arms over his shoulders.

Bucky grabs your chin, forcing it up before he squeezes your cheeks, “Huh? Answer me.”

Damp eyelashes flutter as hot air escapes from parted, hot lips. He leans in real close, cock pushing right at your slit and kisses you hard as he slips his arm around your waist. He breaks away quick, sloppy and loud before pecking your lips once, twice, three times again.

“You want me to fuck you, girl?”

The weight of his words are felt right down to your core, a shiver passing between the two of you. You let your heavy head fall back and your eyes close as Bucky nuzzles into the side of your face, his pretty white teeth skipping along your neck, nipping and nibbling.

“I want you to fuck me,” you whisper after mere seconds, finally submitting in this cat and mouse game, “Bucky, please.”

That’s all he needs— all he wants. For you to submit, after letting you have the reins for one day too long. He sinks into you slow, spreading you open with each inch, biting down into the side of your neck as he bottoms out. His teeth dig in a little deeper, a little harder as he starts to move, rocking back and forth almost succinct with the waves of the water.

You’re moving with him too, meeting each of his thrusts with your hips. You keep your legs tight around his waist, feet dangling and bouncing against the back of his thighs. A trail of hot kisses are pressed along your neck and down your shoulder before traipsing back up— teeth grazing along your jaw.

Long fingers skip up your side and between your bouncing tits to only wrap around your neck again. They squeeze, gently, as his pace starts to pick up, hips shoving harder and faster— that old barrel starting to scrape against the wood floor.

The force makes you louder, moaning with abandon as if the two of you are all alone on this little ferry. Bucky makes quick work of you, shoving metal fingers into your mouth— giving you something to suck on to keep you quiet.

“That’s a good girl.” he growls, voice gritty and low.

He’s punishing after that. Each snap of his hips thrusting you backward, the barrel you’re on top of tipping back and then slapping down on the floor. You yelp with each one, your mouth going slack around his digits as your hands fall to the edges of the barrel for some semblance of balance.

It’s obscene, the way you can hear your fuck. The wet of your cunt. The squeak of his cock plunging into tight, slick muscles. The heavy thud of his hips pounding into yours. The slap of your flip flops falling to the wood floor as he’s quite literally fucked them right off of your feet. It’s filthy— crude— and so very Bucky.

You’re back on your feet before you know it— before you realize it. Spun back around, Bucky’s hard chest and stomach pressed into your back. He grabs both of your hands and places them back on the barrel, his metal hand staying on top of yours, fingers gripping fingers.

Eager hips wiggle back into his as you hiss and sink your teeth into your bottom lip, groaning low. Your head drops when you feel his cock push through your ass cheeks— wet cockhead pressing against your hot rim.

He starts to fumble around behind you, each passing second making you more and more impatient. There’s a soft click, and then a light suction sound— something squeezing.

“Bucky,” you hiss, pushing back into him again, “Hur—”

The word breaks off right in the middle as he levels a quick smack against your hip— a warning. Then your ass cheeks are pulled apart, wet, slimy fingers sliding and prodding at your quivering rim. He brushes slow strokes, circling, pressing his fingers gently as he preps your little hole for what’s to come.

“What kind of freak brings lube to dinner?” you smile, gasping as he pinches the inside of your thigh.

You lurch forward when he grabs the back of your neck and yanks you back into him, lips right against your cheek, “The kinda freak that was gonna fuck you in an alley after dinner. Now shut that mouth.”

He’s pressing again, this time harder, his cockhead popping into you with force. You grunt with the initial intrusion, Bucky stopping his assault to allow you time to adjust to him— but that doesn’t last long. Your mouth goes slack again. Eyes slam shut, head falls forward as he slips in, deeper and deeper and deeper until his stomach is flush with your ass.

He wiggles— so you can feel him, feel him tickling the deepest part of you. Slaps at your ass again, quick, fingers glancing off your skin and leaving behind a hell of a sting. Then he’s fucking you again, slower this time, savoring the tight, glove-like hold your body provides.

Metal fingers grab at the hem of your dress again, tugging it up before they push back into your panties, finding a swollen, hot nub. Pinching and rubbing smooth circles against it, flicking and thrashing at the bundle of nerves before he shoves his fingers back into your cunt. They curl, those fingers, and pet your insides with surgical precision— only James Buchanan Barnes knows how to fuck you like this.

The heel of his palm slams against your clit as he fingers you rough and fucks your ass with gusto. Sleazy sounds gurgle up in your throat, the slapping of skin and the waves crashing against the side of the ferry, the rush of the wind filling your ears. Bucky pulls you flush against him and slithers his tongue just beneath your ear before his teeth grab a hold, tugging soft.

Teeth keep nipping— along your jaw, your cheeks, ears, neck. He fucks into you hard as he shoves his flesh hand into the neckline of your dress, gripping your tits. Pinching and kneading hard, thick nipples, mumbling sweet nothings all the while.

Your stomach churns, muscles tensing and flexing as synapses start to fire off in quick succession. Quick goosebumps pop up along your skin as your stomach tightens and you can taste it it’s so close. Bucky knows it, feels it as your walls constrict around his fingers, your asshole tightening around him. Vibranium fingers keep rubbing, keep fucking into your pussy hard, palm slapping against your clit, adding more and more pressure until the coil snaps.

It’s hard, and sudden— your body freezing as your orgasm consumes you. Bucky clamps a wet hand over your mouth as you mewl and bite into his palm, your hips thrusting forward with each wave of your release. He pulls his fingers from you to slap at your jumping clit, pressing the pads into it before he rubs quick little circles and then slaps at it again.

He drops his hand to your chin, yanking it up as you nearly cry, mewling and trembling with your release to kiss you hard and sloppy as you come. He kneads your tits with his mammoth hand as aftershocks flash through you, your used body jerking at random. Within seconds, there's a cloud of warmth in your ass. Rough grunts in your ear, growing louder with each spurt of his cock, your hot muscles milking him.

You let him use you, let him fill you up full of his silk. Grab his hands and lace your fingers with his as he empties long ribbons in you. Pull his arms around your waist and hold them there as he rides it out, his head falling to your shoulder. The two of you stand there, resting against that old barrel, breathing hard, skin sticky and balmy. Salt from the ocean in your nose.

Bucky’s the first to pull away, glancing back at the stairs before he pulls himself gingerly from you, leaving your body empty, a dribble of his come slipping out with him. He catches it with his fingers, drags them up the back of your thigh and between your ass cheeks before he shrugs out of his collared shirt and white tank top.

He cleans you up sweet with the tank top. Keeps his arm around your waist to steady you as he wipes at your thighs and your hot, sticky, puffy cunt, shushing you soft when you jump and whimper at the contact. He flings the messy tank top over the side of the ferry and rubs your hips and stomach real slow, murmuring into your ear all the while.

Diligent fingers then rearrange your thong— and cop a little feel, cupping your sensitive, swollen sex, giving it a little pinch so he can laugh when you shiver and squeak. Bucky pulls your dress, tugging lightly to get it back straight around your waist before smoothing it over your ass and thighs— even pulls at the top, making sure your tits are sitting pretty.

You can’t even open your eyes, overcome by alcohol and sleepiness and a post sex high. He fumbles with your fingers as your head lulls on his shoulder, a soft hum vibrating in your throat in your murky haze. Bucky lifts your arm by the elbow, sliding his hand up your forearm until he’s cupping your hand in his.

“Open your eyes, baby.” You groan in protest, causing a chuckle to rumble through his chest, “Come on.”

So you do. You always do whatever this man wants you to do— and there, right on your finger sits that big princess cut engagement ring you teased him with days before.

“How about we skip dinner and find a church, huh?” he whispers, kissing your cheek soft and sweet.

You glance at him over your shoulder, eyes wet as a smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth, “And if I say no?”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” He laughs as you adjust in his arms, pushing up on your tiptoes to cup his handsome face and kiss him on those pretty pink lips, “Then I guess I’ll have to fuck some sense into that pretty mouth of yours, won’t I birthday girl?”

#bad things happen bingo #buckybarnesbingo2021 #ssb2021 #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x black!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #5k...holy god

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sortasirius · 3 years

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What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me. Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based. In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place. Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!” Bruh. The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode. You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season). Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here. Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone. He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else. That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit. This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this. That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS. AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all. Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this? I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20? AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half? Nothing really happened? Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around. It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it. The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery. Truly, that is the only thing. It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper got a week or so before the finale. She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right? It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc. The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.” Uh. Where are they? And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So. Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

???????? That’s the end if it? They don’t need to be discussed after this??? It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too? Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay? Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else. They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else. Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here. What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right. Weird as fuck. Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas? My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene. Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back. Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it. Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad. It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway. He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here). Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying. My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven. The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago. We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread). The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here. Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here. Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions. Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was. None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why? Why lie to all of us when we have questions? Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense. Simply? Warner Brothers is absolutely massive. These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs. They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha. It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him. He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids. It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then.

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram. It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other.

My theory? They didn’t know. They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all? Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so. I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God. I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read. He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that? Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys. Why would he get involved? He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is. He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam. I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to. So what changed? What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious? CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South. It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And? They don’t care. They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here). They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line. And you know what? To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what? They warned us. I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network. I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want? Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy. In fact, to the people trashing them? You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb. Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them. The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this, Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

#my writing #my meta #supernatural #spn #spn finale trash fire #MY MANIFESTO IS DONE

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chouhatsumimi · 3 years

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Hi! I am trying to become a japanese to English (& vice versa) translator. I can't find any sources to check the English to Japanese translation. It is difficult to get which grammar must be used since I am not a japanese native and don't know any natives to ask either. I have studied till N2 level but have no experience and must start freelancing to get experience so I need to figure out how to translate on my own. I can only use free translation software but I am not sure about it's reliability. I have seen questionable translations when it's for Japanese to English. Do think you can give any suggestions or anything that might be helpful?

Hi! I did put in a little time searching for the kind of tools you might have had in mind.

It seems that there are many that function in the exact same way but have different interfaces. Here are two of them. Many others can be found by searching "日本語文章校正ツール" or similar keywords. https://dw230.jp/kousei/

https://so-zou.jp/web-app/text/proofreading/

While they can point out some things to look out for, from the testing I did with them, they overlooked some pretty obvious errors, while also catching some things that I couldn't figure out why it thought it was wrong/sounded bad, or how to fix it.

There was one more I found that I didn't try, because it involves downloading software. This page explains the software, and another page on the site offers the download. The webpage is sponsored by a university, so I think it's safe to assume its trustworthy, but it might be a hassle and I can't say for sure if it works.

https://www.pawel.jp/outline_of_tools/tomarigi/

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That said, it's most common for translators to work from one language INTO their native language. While interpreters often have to go both directions (J <--> E), translators typically work either (J -> E) [English native speakers] OR (E -> J) [Japanese native speakers]. If you grew up bilingual, maybe you can translate both ways. But if English is your native language and you learned Japanese as a second language (which is true of my situation), it's pretty much not going to be worth bothering to do E->J translation, unless there are extenuating circumstances. The reasons for this are 1) You can't be sure that the translation you produce reads smoothly or is error-free 2) While you might think, but yes, if I do a really thorough check and compare it against native Japanese examples, I can be pretty darn sure it's perfect, the amount of time it takes you to do that is not going to be cost-effective. Like anything else, people purchasing translation as a service usually want the end result to be done well, in a timely manner, and as cheaply as possible, so it doesn't make sense to hire you for E -> J when they could hire a native Japanese speaking translator, or send their work to an agency to find that translator for them.

If you ARE translating into Japanese and are not a native speaker of Japanese, it is a good idea to have a fellow translator who has the opposite native language you do (in this case Japanese & English), and ask them to check it over for you (which, considering that's part of their job, you'd probably pay a small fee for). They could do the same to have you proofread their translations into English. Some translators consult friends/spouses, etc., but I think this can get old for them sometimes, so it's advisable not to rely on them for your job. You mentioned not having any native speakers to ask right now, but this is still an idea you can file away for in the future when you meet more people and get to know other translators.

In short, if you're aiming to become a translator working with Japanese but are not a native Japanese speaker, don't worry about translating into Japanese. Just focus on translating from Japanese into your native language.

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Translation software: let me make a distinction here between "machine translation" and "CAT [computer aided translation] tools".

Machine translation is Google Translate, DeepL, anything like that. There are times when they work well, but particularly with a language like Japanese that likes to imply a lot of information instead of stating it directly (such as who is doing the action described in the sentence), they're pretty much always going to miss something. In any situation that someone is looking to pay a translator to do work, it's because they already know machine translation won't cut it. One thing that's becoming more common is MTPE (machine translation post editing), where a translator "fixes" what's wrong with a machine translation (or more often than not, just re-translates it from scratch because what the machine came up with is mostly useless).

CAT tools, on the other hand, are widely used by translators. Paid CAT tools such as Trados, MemoQ, Memsource, etc. can be very expensive, and are often provided by a translation agency to their translators. (Also, most of them require a PC operating system.) There's more I could say, but since I haven't been in any situations that require them, I don't have any personal experience. I do have experience using OmegaT (free, works on Mac) and Felix (free, I use it on Windows). They both take a little tinkering to figure out how to use effectively, but basically what they do is, once you've translated a segment of text, they store the original segment and the translated segment, and for each new segment you go to translate, the CAT tool compares it to segments that you've previously translated to see if you can re-use any of what you came up with before. They can also have a built-in dictionary function, but that's basically just having your typical web-based dictionary but more automatically and in a more convenient location.

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For going into freelancing, I have a few recommendations.

Apart from CAT tools, some resources that I refer to frequently are http://nihongo.monash.edu/cgi-bin/wwwjdic?9T (basically looks up all the words in a sentence at once), http://thejadednetwork.com/sfx/ (if you're doing anything with sound effects, like manga), https://tsukubawebcorpus.jp//search/ (this is a corpus, I have another post on how to use it -here-, it's probably going to be your best bet when it comes to checking grammar), https://books.google.com/ngrams (for when it comes to figuring out what turns of phrase are commonly used in English), and https://yomikatawa.com/ (for figuring out the readings of names in Japanese, though there are other sites that work similarly).

When it comes to practicing, contests are a good place to start. The two I know of now are run by JAT in October (https://jat.org/events/contests) and JLPP deadline of 7/31 (and they're long, so it's probably too late for this year unless you're free between now and then: https://www.jlpp.go.jp/en/competition6/competition6en.html ) You can also practicing doing translations for fun. Any kind of media you enjoy (manga, video games, variety shows, newspaper articles) is a good target for doing a practice translation. Just be wary that it's not a good idea to post your translation in a public location on the internet, because it could be infringing copyright/licensing agreements, etc. Finally, there are websites like Gengo, Conyac, Fiverr and others where you can do gig translation work. They can be useful for practice, but also have the pitfall of paying, like, 5% of the rate you should be getting. This is an ongoing debate because on one hand, you can get practice while still getting a little money for it, but on the other hand, if customers can get people to do that work for 5% of a livable wage, that makes it harder for aspiring and working translators to find enough work that pays well enough to support themselves doing only translation for a living. Entertainment (primarily manga) scanlation groups also a significant enough force to merit a mention here- many aspiring entertainment translators find themselves a part of such a group. Practice is practice and developing your skills is important, but they also have many many of the same problems associated with them as I mentioned above, namely infringing on copyright and contributing to the inability of anyone to turn entertainment translation into a livable full-time job.

Another recommendation I have is to join some J/E translation-focused groups. This page lists a number of them: https://shinpaideshou.com/translation/ I can personally vouch for JAT as I am a member and I got my current job by being part of their directory. They run an online training program (eJuku) once a year around April, and applications only stay open for a few days, so if you're interested make sure you keep your eye out. Another one not listed on that page is https://swet.jp/ which is not entirely about translation, but it is heavily related and they host some good events. Twitter is also a very good place to be if you're getting into J/E translation. I prefer to keep my tumblr and twitter separate but if you DM me, I can give you my handle so you can see who I follow and who among that seems worth following to you.

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In closing, I see you say "I have studied till N2 level but have no experience and must start freelancing to get experience so I need to figure out how to translate on my own." I'd say, give yourself some time. Even at N1 there's still going to be a lot you don't understand (or at least there was for me, that's why I started this langblr). I'm sure there are differences in our situations, but it was about five years ago for me that I started diving into translation- I think I was between N2 and N1 then. I've done a lot of translating and gotten a lot of experience since then, but I also have and am experiencing a lot of burnout. (In fact, I'm procrastinating right now by answering this....) Many translators have a job and translate on the side, and it's also common to gain experience with a company or agency before diving into supporting yourself on freelance work. I'd encourage you to take a breath, get experience when and where you can, and remember that if you keep at it long enough, you're sure to get there- just don't wear yourself out or worry to death in the meantime!

OH and definitely keep track of what projects you do, how long they are, and how long it takes you to do them! Knowing your speed is important when it comes to setting your working rates. I am always doubting these, and they differ from person to person, but my current estimates are that I can do 600 moji (Japanese characters) per hour, ~10 min. of audio per hour, and I try to aim for $45~$60 per hour. Generally the lowest acceptable standard rates are $0.05-$0.06 per moji and ~$5 per page of manga. You'll definitely get requests lower than that, so remember your sanity and don't be afraid to say no, there are plenty of opportunities out there!

#translation #Japanese translation #nanikanamae #JE translation #a day in the life of translation #day in the life of translation #if you or anyone has questions feel free to ask #I am absolutely swamped with things to do right now and this probably took over an hour to write so it might not be soon but I will see it

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supercorpkid · 3 years

Text

Extraneous Variable

Error: n1.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader, Brainy x Reader

Word count: 3220.

So what if Lena told you not to mess with alien technology, and that ‘whatever comes from it, it’s clearly evil’? They had a device to erase the mind that you couldn’t crack, it should be obvious to her that eventually you would find your way to it in your lab and try to figure it out. You are an inventor after all, you should know how this thing works.

And it’s crazy, the number of things you can think with just a few changes here and there. This piece of tech is so groundbreaking that if you figure it out, you’ll change the world completely. If you just find the courage to press that little button.

You can do it. You’re a scientist. If your mind gets erased, then you already have the device to bring the memories back. And if something else happens, you sure can think of a solution too. Here’s to not dying.

You press the button.

You’re pretty sure this wasn’t supposed to be happening. The machine seems to be overheating and you’re positive that the entire room shouldn’t be blue. Maybe you should get out of the lab.

You run to the door, but halfway through you fall on the floor. You look around, confused. How-how did everything get so big? Oh, no. Oh, wait. Oh, dear Rao. Things didn’t get bigger! You got smaller! How? You get up and try to walk, but you fall face first on the floor.

Ouch, that hurts. Wait, wait. What are these weird little fat hands? You look at the shiniest surface in the room and then, BOOM, you realize. You’re a baby. A BABY! You got turned into a BA-BY! Shit. What do you do now?

Your phone is on top of the table, and you obviously can’t reach it. You try to fly, but you don’t leave the ground. You look at the surface again just to be sure. It’s you, it’s really you. You look like all the old photos of yourself you can think of. So, you’re stuck in your old baby’s body, but you still think like a 16-years-old-girl? Ok. Not weird at all.

You’re sorry about what you’re doing next, but you need help out of this mess. You press the emergency button on the super watch and wait until Kara appears. No longer than two minutes later.

“Baby! Did you call?” You hear from the other side of the door. “Please, open the door.”

Well, that’s just it. You can’t.

“Little one, if you don’t open it, I’m gonna have to break it.” Kara waits a beat, and when nothing happens, she pushes the door. You look at the door coming off on her hands, and she puts it on the side. “Baby, where are you?” She is looking up, so she hasn’t seen you yet.

“Mommy!” You yell, to get her attention and she looks down at you.

“What the-?” Kara kneels down in front of you, blinking slowly, trying to take in what’s in front of her. She furrows her brows, tilts her head, then looks up again. “Baby, did you make another baby with your DNA?”

“Mommy!” You say again, and she looks down on you one more time. You open your arms, so she can pick you up, and Kara does just that. “Baby!”

“Well, you certainly look and sound like my daughter.” Kara sits you on your table and looks around. It takes her a couple of minutes to finally look back at you with wide eyes. “You ARE my daughter!”

“Yes!”

Kara paces around the lab, looking at you a few times and looking around. She looks as shocked as you think she would.

“Mom!” You ask and she comes back to the table. “Mom, hi!”

“You want to go say hi to your mom?” She asks, to which you shake your head agreeing.

“Peas.”

“Oh.” Kara holds your face between her hands with the biggest smile, and eyes full of tears. “It’s you little one! You’re a baby again. You said, ‘peas’ instead of ‘please’.” One tear falls from her eye. “It’s you! You’re my baby again!”

Ok. This is going to go on forever if you let her, so, you might as well speed this up.

“Mom, mom, mom!” You chant, until Kara stops kissing your face, and picks you up again.

“Well, I do not miss you only wanting Lena, but ok.” She makes her way out of the lab, and you feel bad for chanting for Lena so annoyingly. You reach for her face, and she looks down on you. You smile at her, and she smiles back.

“Sowy mommy.” Kara looks at you, and she looks like she’s about to explode from happiness.

“Can we just keep you like this forever?” Kara asks, kissing your face a few more times.

“No!” You frown and she laughs.

“Ok, ok.” Kara goes into the elevator. “Let’s get Lena and try to figure out how to reverse this.”

Kara stops on another floor, and you look around trying to figure out why you didn’t go to Lena’s office. Oh, no. She might be in a meeting. Kara makes her way to a room, and knocks on the door, waving at Lena on the other side.

“Let’s surprise her, shall we?” She hides you with her cape, watching Lena coming closer.

“Supergirl, I’m in the middle of a meeting. I can’t talk right now.” Lena spits out of gritted teeth.

“Well, this might change your mind.” Kara takes the cape out of your face, and you smile at Lena.

“Aah!” She yells, but soon covers her mouth with her hands. “Where did you get this baby?”

“This is our daughter!” Kara shows you again.

“Mom!” You say, so you can confirm Kara’s theory.

“This is not our daughter! Our daughter is sixteen!” Lena says, looking at you, and you open your arms, throwing yourself at her. She doesn’t pick you up. “What in the fucking hell is going on?”

“I was hoping you could answer!” Kara says and you fight out of her arms and into Lena’s. “She wants you.”

“I-I, dear God, why are our lives so damn weird?” Lena asks and bends over a little to look in your eyes. “Ok baby. I mean, actual baby. If you are somehow my teenage daughter trapped in a baby’s body, talk.”

“Yes. Baby.” You talk.

“This can’t be true.”

“Mom! Mom!” You open your arms again, Lena still doesn’t pick you up, much preoccupied with the meeting happening behind her. Ok, well, you’re sorry, but this meeting has to end now.

It’s not one of your finest moments, you have to admit, but you yell loud and cry even louder. Kara rocks you gently, while shushing you, and Lena is begging you to stop.

“MOM!” You yell, mid-cry, throwing yourself from Kara’s arms.

“Please pick her up!” Kara begs desperately, putting you in Lena's arms and you stop crying as soon as she does so, giving them a little satisfied smile.

“I have a meeting!” Lena tells you, and then looks at Kara asking for help.

“Not anymore. Now, you have a baby. Again.” Kara gives her a forced smile, and Lena looks back at the room with every man staring at her. Because, obviously, your crying has caught some attention.

“I’m sorry gentlemen, but it seems that this-” Lena shows you to them. “Matter is more urgent. The CFO will proceed with the meeting, if you can excuse me.”

She leaves, before anyone even has time to answer. Kara closes the door behind them, and they rush to Lena’s office.

She puts you sitting on the couch, and you stare at them, with a little smile on your face. So you don’t have a lot of words to explain what’s going on. What do you do now?

“Little one, how did this happen?” Kara kneels in front of the couch, and Lena sits on the floor next to her.

You smile sheepishly to both of them.

“Mom. Mommy. Baby.” Are those the only words you know? You might as well try every single one in your vocabulary. “Booboo!”

“What?” Lena asks, looking at her boobs. “There’s no more milk left in these booboos, my love.”

Oh no. Rao, no. Wrong word.

“Poopoo!” You try instead, and watch Kara trying to hold a chuckle.

“You want to go potty?” Kara asks. What? No! This is ridiculous. What kind of stupid baby only knows these stupid words?

“Peepee?” Ok, you know this won’t work.

“Ok, I’ll take you potty.” Kara stands up, ready to pick you up, and no way you’re going potty in front of her! Although, yeah, you could go to the bathroom right now. Guess you’ll have to hold it. You cry when she mentions picking you up, and she huffs, before kneeling again.

“I don’t understand what you want!”

“Kara, I think she’s trying to find a way to tell us what happened.” Lena gets up from her chair and takes a piece of paper and a marker. “Maybe you can draw?”

She puts the paper in front of you and the marker in your hands. Great! You just have to draw the machine and tell them to reverse it. You finish your drawing and show it to them.

“Is that a-” Kara closes one eye, backs off a little, gets very close to the paper, blinks twice, then furrows her brows. “A poopoo?”

No, it’s not a poopoo! It’s a… You look down at your drawing. Shit. It’s a poopoo.

You cry. And this time you actually cry because you’re feeling sad. Hopeless. Stupid. What the hell have you done? And how are you going to reverse it?

“Oh no baby, it’s ok!” Lena picks you up, gently rocking you in her arms. “We’ll figure it out. I promise. You’re not going to be a baby forever.”

“Baby no?” You ask. Wow, good for you, you added a new word to your vocabulary. And it’s not even grammatically correct.

“Baby no.” Kara repeats, kissing your forehead. “Shall we get home?”

“Yeah.” Lena stands up and grabs her purse. “You go buy diapers and I’ll take her home.”

Wait, what? Diapers? You’re not wearing diapers!

“No!” You say to them. “No!”

“Well, you can’t stay wrapped around your t-shirt forever. What if you need to pee?” Kara asks and you poke Lena’s cheek.

“Peepee.” You look back at Kara, with a smug look on your face.

“Oh, really? So you’re not going to pee your pants? Ok. If you say so.” They are almost walking out of Lena’s office when you realize you can’t really hold your pee forever, so you poke Lena again.

“Mom, peepee, peas?” You ask, and Lena does instant heart eyes at you.

“How is she so adorable?” Lena says before taking you potty. Rao, you can’t believe you’re thinking things like ‘potty’ now.

“Ok, can we go now?” Kara asks. You think that maybe you all should be heading downstairs to your lab, to figure out how to reverse this, but at the same time you’re so sleepy, your brain is kind of foggy and you can’t think right now.

When you wake up, unfortunately still as a baby, you’re already at home. You’re laying in a very improvised crib that Kara must have put together last minute.

“Mommy?” You call, and Lena’s head appears in your eyesight.

“Hey, babygirl. Oh!” Lena looks down and smiles at you. “You peed your pants.”

“No!” You yell, making her laugh.

“I’m kidding, baby. Come here.” She picks you up, and you smile at her. Lena spends a few seconds just staring lovingly at you. “Our lives are so weird, but it feels good getting to hold you like this again.”

“Baby.”

“Yeah. But the cutest one.” She kisses your cheek, making you smile wider at her.

“No booboos?” You ask, when Lena sits you on the counter, in front of her.

“Stop saying that, you know what it means.” She jokes, but quickly understands you’re hungry, so she picks up baby food from the fridge. “Kara picked it up on the way. Do you wanna try them?”

“No.”

“It was a lot easier when you were a baby baby.” Lena sighs and you open your mouth, giving up. What else is there to do? Starve? No, thank you. She puts some food in your mouth, but before you can’t even swallow-

“OH MY GOD!” You hear a voice coming from the backyard door, and you look there only to realize the truth. It’s Jamie. Real life-size Jamie. Looking at a miniature life-size you. “It’s true! She is a baby again!”

“I told you!” Kara comes from behind her, giving her a shit-eating grin, and you wish you could roll your eyes to both of them.

“Oh my God, little Danvers! You’re actually little again.” Jamie comes closer getting face-to-face with you. “Oh, wow. I always knew you would do something hilariously dumb, but this is-” She points at you, and starts laughing at your face. “Next level stupidity even for you.”

HA-HA. And you’re hilariously dirty, big Danvers. You think, before spitting all of your food in her face.

“Hey! No!” Lena picks you up, getting you away from Jamie. “That wasn’t nice! Say you’re sorry to your cousin. Come on. She’s here to help.”

“Sowy.”

“Sorry Jamie, come get cleaned up.” Kara holds her shoulders, directing her to the bedrooms. “You can pick any of your cousin’s clothes you would like.”

What? That’s not fair!

“Oooh, I know just which one!” She rushes out of the kitchen, and you look at Lena.

“She came to help you. I can’t believe you’ve done that.” Lena scolds you a little too seriously. Ok, so apparently being a baby doesn’t give you carte blanche to do whatever you want.

“Sowy, mom.” You ask and wink your big blue eyes at her and Lena wavers in front of you.

“God, you’re so cute. It’s not fair!”

It doesn’t take long until Jamie comes downstairs wearing your favorite T-shirt, and you stick your tongue out at her when none of your moms are looking.

“Ok, well, Jamie is going to babysit you, while we go to L Corp figure out what you did and how to undo it.” Lena says, picking up her purse, and you see Kara following behind.

“Mommy, no!” You ask, and Kara turns around, to look at you.

“Little one, mommy is going to help, ok? You stay here with Jamie and be nice.”

“MOMMY NO!” You don’t want to be left alone with Jamie. You know for a fact she has zero experience with children. She almost killed her doll! Let alone you!

“Hey.” Kara comes back to you. “Stop that. We have to undo the mess you made.”

“Mom, yes. Mommy, no!” Ok, fine. She seems to want things the hard way, very well! You can do it the hard way. You stare into her eyes, before starting to cry as loud as you can. “Mommy no! No!”

“Ugh!” Kara picks you up, looking at your red face, and watery eyes. “Good time to just need me, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” You stop crying, and smile at her.

“Ok, fine. I’ll call Alex and Brainy to help. You two stay with the needy baby and try to figure out a way to get information.” Lena leaves, and Kara looks back at Jamie.

“Any idea how to get information out of an 18-month-baby?”

“How about this or that?” Jamie asks, to which Kara furrows her brows. “Ok, get me your computer.”

You can’t believe Jamie had this idea and you haven’t. Well, you’re a baby so it doesn’t really matter what ideas you had, they wouldn’t understand you. She shows you a bunch of pictures, and asks questions like “was it an experience or an alien?” Then you point to the machine in the picture. They keep asking questions until they have a brief grasp of what you have done.

“I’m going to call Lena.” Kara passes the baby food to Jamie. “Keep feeding her.”

Jamie grabs the food and looks at you, squinting her eyes. You hold her gaze defiant.

“If you want to eat, you need me to feed you. And I will only feed you if you promise you won’t spit on me again.” Jamie says, holding the spoon full of baby food just a little too far from your mouth. “So, do you want it?” You agree with your head. “Will you spit it?”

“No.” You admit, feeling defeated. Jamie puts the spoon on your mouth.

“Good baby!” She jokes, and Rao, how much you wanted to have more words in your vocabulary right now. Anything from ‘shut up’ to ‘fuck you’, would do just fine. Oh well, you can always tell her that once you come back to your old body.

Jamie keeps feeding you the most disgusting food you ever tasted in your life, and you keep eating because goddamn it, you turned yourself into a baby! A baby! Kara comes back a little later saying that with Brainy’s help, it looks like they’ve figured out the problem.

Kara flies to L Corp with you in her arms. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay like this for a while longer? It would solve all of your problems.”

Sure. Then add some more, like, having to go potty in front of people. Ugh, what a nightmare. You hope you never have to do that again in your life.

“No, mommy.”

“Just another day. Please?” Kara begs and you do your best to roll your eyes. You don’t think you’ve accomplished that, though, when her reaction is ‘awww’.

“Mommy. Baby, no. Peas.”

“Ok, ok. Can you, maybe, make a copy of yourself and-”

“Oh, there she is!” Lena says, when Kara walks in the lab with you. You’re glad she cut Kara’s absurd request off. “Look at my baby, Alex!”

“Oh, hey kiddo!” Aunt Alex looks at you with an amused expression. “What a mess you got yourself into, huh?”

She can say that again.

“Ok, I reverted the command she gave. I’m positive it will work. Well, I’m 80% positive, which in this scenario is a good percentage.” Brainy says, and your moms look at you, almost like they miss you already. “Ok, she has to be alone in the room, so maybe put her on the floor, and put the clothes she’ll need next to her.”

“Hey, are you ok?” Kara asks, and you agree with your head. “I love you.”

“I love you, babygirl. You’re the cutest baby I’ve ever seen, but I want my beautiful teenage daughter back.” Lena kisses your face a couple of times and smiles at you. “God, look at you! We should’ve made ten of her. Just look at her face.”

“There’s still time.” Kara jokes with a smile, putting you on the floor. “See you in a few seconds, little one.”

The room flashes blue again, and, in a few seconds, you look in front of you and see long hairy legs, instead of baby ones. Wait. Hairy legs? You stand up and look down on yourself.

“AAAAAAAAAAH!”

Notes:

@oncemoonie gave me so many awesome funny ideas, hope you enjoy this.

#supergirl #kara danvers #supercorp #supercorpfamily #lena luthor #supercorp daughter #kara x lena #kara x reader #supercorp fanfic #lena x reader #alex danvers #superkid #reader insert

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isshonihongo · 3 years

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JLPT N5 - ほしい

So how about something new? I figured I would start introducing grammar points that show up on the JLPT tests.

JPLT stands for Japanese Proficiency Language Test. There are 5 levels, N5 being the most basic while N1 is the most difficult. I actually don’t like the idea of the tests, but they do give a good way to separate and organize Japanese grammar points. Please let me know in the comments if you think I should skip around with the JLPT level grammar points or if I should go in order from N５ to N２ (I think I’m between N3 and N2 at this point).

With that said, here are the vocabulary words for the N5 grammar point ほしい.

【ほしい】

ほしい is used to show what the speaker wants or desires. It can also be used to ask about what the listener wants (if the listener is on the same social level or lower than you. You wouldn’t use it when talking to a boss or a teacher or an elder). You may sometimes see ほしい written with Kanji as 欲しい. Here are two examples using ほしい:

①｛日本人の友達が｝｛ほしい｝。

= I want a Japanese friend / Japanese friends.

② 今、｛いちばんほしいものは｝何ですか。

= What thing do you want the most right now?

【The Grammar of ほしい】

There is an important difference between the English and Japanese translations. In English, “want” is a verb that takes a direct object. On the other hand, in Japanese ほしい is an adjective. So how can we explain the grammar in the above examples?

In example 1, 日本人の友達 is marked by が, making it the subject. Knowing what the sentence means and working backwards, it makes sense to translate ほしい as “is/are wanted”. Example 1 becomes more literally “A Japanese friend is / Japanese friends are wanted (by me).” The “by me” part is understood because we can’t use ほしい to talk about what other people want (more on this later).

In example 2, ほしい is directly describing a noun (もの) so we could translate it as “desired” or “wanted.” Example 2 would become “Right now, as for (your) most desired / wanted thing, what is it?”

We end up with two ways that we can use ほしい:

｛noun + が｝｛ほしい｝⬅️Here, it means 〜 is / are wanted.

｛ほしい + noun｝⬅️Here, it means wanted / desired 〜.

ほしい is actually one of the easier grammar points but it does differ from the English way of saying the same thing. In situations like this, I think it’s good to look at the difference in grammar to help our understanding.

【What Other People Want】

In my last post on している, we talked about psychological verbs. Verbs like 考える、思う and 分かる are used a little differently when the topic is the 1st or 2nd person, and when the topic is the third person. ほしい is similar because it is only used when the topic is the 1st or 2nd person.

But because ほしい is an adjective and there’s no している form, how would we say what a third party wants or desires?? I’m glad you asked! There are two ways to get around the Japanese “don’t assume you can talk for other people” rule.

【Using と言っている】

The first way to do this is by adding と言う after ほしい. と言う is used almost like how English uses quotation marks. Putting this phrase after ほしい equates to “Person A says that he/she wants X.” Let’s see some examples:

③ 山田さんは｛新しい自転車が｝｛ほしいと言っている｝。

= Mr. / Mrs. Tanaka says that she wants a new bike.

= Mr. / Mrs. Tanaka wants a new bike.

④ 彼はいつも｛お金が｝｛欲しいと言っている｝。

= As for him, always, he says money is wanted

= He always wants money.

言う is another example of a psychological verb. If the topic is yourself or your listener, you have the choice of using と言う or と言っている. However if the topic is a third party, you have to use と言っている.

【Using がっている】

The other common way to express what someone else wants is to use the auxiliary verb がる. This verb means “to show signs of something”, so if we attach it to ほしい it does two things: 1) it will express that someone is showing signs of wanting something and 2) it changes the adjective ほしい into the verb ほしがる. Simply remove the い from the stem and then attach がる.

Here are some examples:

⑤ トムは、なんか｛冷たい飲み物を｝ほしがっている。

= As for Tom, he is showing signs of wanting a cold drink

= Tom wants a cold drink.

⑥ 赤ちゃんが｛乳を欲しがって｝泣いている。

= The baby shows signs of wanting milk, so he/she is crying

= The baby is crying because he/she wants milk.

One interesting thing to notice is that sentences with ほしい use が to mark what is wanted, while sentences with ほしがる use を. Can you guess why this might be? Your guesses and reasons are welcome in the comments! I’ll come back to this in a later post because it’s a very important aspect of Japanese. For now, here is a chart with the psychological verbs that we’ve talked about so far:

【Conclusion】

So there you have it! Feel free to ask questions if you’d like. If you want to write your own examples in the comments for me to share feedback, that’s fine too. If this post helped, feel free to leave a like or reblog.

By the way, I haven’t finished with my posts about the particles. The next one I’m working on is と so look out for that! As always, thank you for reading!

Rice & Peace,

– AL (アル)

👋🏾

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dangermousie · 3 years

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I just finished watching the Rurouni Kenshin movies, loved them, and want to tentatively dip my toes into some jdrama (i love both cdramas and kdramas). Any suggestions? I like historical stuff, action, romance, anything that doesn't end too tragically.

Those movies were awesome!!!

Pls keep in mind I largely peaced out of jdramas about a while ago so except Watashitachi wa Douka Shiteiru (heroine wants to solve who framed her mother so gets a job at the traditional bean dessert place where the murder happened and gets involved with the haunted young heir to the business. Mmmm) all my recs are going to be a few years old.

Also I am gonna leave out all the dramas with bad endings or dramas like teacher-student and other problematic things since I don’t know your no gos. (Between those two factors a lot of my faves are out :)) Without further ado a sampler of my faves:

Aishteru to Itte Kure - I made a rec post on this recently. A love story between an aspiring actress and a deaf/mute painter. It’s probably one of my favorite love stories.

Bara No Nai Hanaya - our hero is a gentle florist with a small daughter who is generally kind and helpful to everyone. One day he helps a blind woman and they slowly fall in love. Little does he know this is the start of a horrific plan to ruin him. (I promise, happy ending!)

Buzzer Beat - a young musician and a basketball player fall in love. This is just sweet.

Haha Yori Dango - jdramas do Boys Over Flowers. This is, hands down, my favorite adaptation and the only one except the 2001 Taiwanese one that does not pull punches that its ML is a psycho. It has a certain manga kooky vibe at the start but even if it’s not your thing I rec pushing through because there is a magic moment I started being so invested it’s unreal. The two leads have crazy chemistry and the rumor is were together for ages in RL. I have a tag for the drama.

Innocent Love - sometimes you just want a melo with excellent actors. True love and angst!!! I was obsessed enough with Kitagawa Yujin - ML actor - at the time it aired I went and listened to a ton of J-folk rock (he’s a member of duo Yuzu.)

Itoshi Kimi E - the gorgeous gorgeous Fujiki Naohito is a photographer who finds he’s slowly going blind but also falls in love with a nurse. God, this drama!

Love Shuffle - the story of a bunch of dwellers of a fancy apartment who all decide to go on blind dates with each other. It’s sharp and moving and I either love or find interesting all of them but I remember going FERAL for the burned out war photographer x suicidal artist obsessed with death. Even thinking of them right now is giving me a hit of serotonin.

Otomen - sometimes I like fluff about wholesome people! The love story of a seemingly macho boy who secretly loves cooking and knitting and all girly things and a tomboy girl. It’s both a lovely love story and a great take of being loved for who you are not who you are expected to be.

Pin to Kona - the world of kabuki! Also if you’ve ever wanted the secondary guy to be the lead and get the girl, come right in! Heroine has been obsessed with kabuki since childhood. Hero is the heir of ancient kabuki family who has issues thanks to his father (who needs a small stab.) He falls in love with her kindness and becomes a wonderful friend but all she can think of is her scheming first love who wants to be n1 in kabuki world. This is love and a lot of kabuki stuff to boot!

Pride - a tough, don’t believe in love hockey captain falls for a salarywoman who is waiting for her boyfriend who went abroad to work. Doesn’t sound like much, but was an insane hit and is my n1. Jdrama of all time.

Smile - a mute girl and a half-Filipino worker fall in love. They are both outcasts from society (her due to her disability, him due to not being pure blood Japanese) but they find happiness. Which is shattered when he is put on trial for murder.

Tatta Hitotsu No Koi - I love this drama so much!!! A poor young man x a rich sheltered young woman who recovered from cancer. (I promise happy ending!!!) It’s so tender and wistful and angsty and just!!!

Anyway gonna stop but hope one of these is your bag!

#asks #jdrama

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ignitification · 3 years

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Midoriya Izuku - Green for Hope, Red for Burning Passion

I always asked myself why exactly Horikoshi has changed Midoriya's character design so drastically.

Indeed, we go from a character called Yamikumo who looks like a feral child with the bad habit of eating his nails off, and drinks more coffee than humanly possible to an anxious bunny who smiles awkwardly and does not know how to accept compliments.

To me, the difference is absolutely insane. Izuku's hair and eyes are uniform and reflect his character and surname. However, a thing that I find peculiar is how the dark (Black/Green) and the Red theme are a constant throughout particular tellings of his character.

The legendary red shoes are one of Deku's main features. It's part of his character. However, I just got to think why exactly (especially having an idea on why was green used for him) and I think that the answer might be very very banal. However, I do think that this is not the only reason.

First of all, there is the most simple reason which I could think of: Midoriya Izuku is described as plain. In my opinion, plain does not really define Midoriya but the concept of him being bland and capable of melting into background is fundamental to express him in the most little details (however, there are few things which inwardly contradict this description: first and foremost his freckles). But as it might be, and Midoriya is indeed considered not worthy look at for more than once (at least as described in the manga - which is also one of the reason why his design has been changed so much, as Yamikumo had literally zero chance to go unnoticed), it appears clear how this suppression of character, of wanting to relegate Mido to a background role is what instead pushes Izuku forward to make a bold choice of something like wearing red shoes. They are strikingly particular, and noticeable: which means that Midoriya is not happy about being an npc, but instead wants to be noticed and in some way stand out.

The second reason, which I mulled over if was relevant enough is All Might. A recurrent color in all All Might's costumes is Red (and Blue, which kind of reminds of Superman and the American Flag. A fact that I found interesting as well if how AM wears Blue, Yellow and Red while Midoriya wears Green and Red, and of course Blue and Yellow together form Green).

And finally the third and final reason (at least, for now) is that Red, as a colour reminds Deku of Kacchan (even if arguably, we see in the first panel of the manga how Izuku wore already his shoes so this might be false and instead it might refer to the fact that Red is Izuku’s favourite colour only), who we know he associates with victory. As the mental image of Kacchan, who was red eyes, is his substitute for him being able to stand proud, strong and capable to win, Izuku might want to express this strive to be strong.

But what do these two colours mean, stand alone ?

As for Green: this colour, in different cultures, is associated with "Hope" . I think here the main gist and general going is that Midoriya represents Hope for the Heroes, Hope for the Unwanted, the Broken and the Damned (the Villains). I talked about Izuku being a Symbol of the New Society here, but in short, with Izuku Midoriya being fundamentally associated to the colour green, I think Horikoshi wants to express two things: how Izuku never loses hope (to be a hero, to have a quirk, to be a friend to Katsuki who bullied him for years or Shouto who straight up challenged him even before getting to know him, to reach and to save everyone) and how he represents and spreads hope for others (Eri, Kouta, the same Todoroki and Katsuki).

Green indicates life, renewal, harmony and safety. Which, in this sense, points out Izuku's nature as a person and how he is bound to feel restless unless he provides comfort to everyone, and that desire to save desperately anyone who he can reach. Green is a calming and soothing colour. It also stands for prosperity, freshness and progress - which point out not only the conclusion of Deku being N1 Hero, but as well at him 'changing up' the society and becoming the Symbol of Hope and Change (on which I briefly touched upon here).

However, on a negative side it also stands for Greed (wanting to be a hero and follow AM steps even when he had a hard time adapting his body to his new quirk) and Envy (Bakugō first and foremost and the generally heroes and those who has time to wield their power properly). In this negative meaning of the colour, I think Izuku’s selfless nature comes to the surface even more: how he feels bound to feel negative emotions which spur his renewal and development (after all, he did unlock Black Whip after Monoma had insulted Bakugou), but at the same time use this emotion toward a bigger goal (him being mad at Shigaraki, but at the same time wanting to save him - I wrote about this too here).

Green, is, finally, the colour of the Heart chakra: an expression of how Midoriya puts everything before him, because his heart cannot take the selfishness of thinking of himself first, which also come hand in hand with his sacrificing nature and reminds of his name meaning and the association made with the number 9. Indeed, “Opening the Heart chakra allows a person to love more, empathise, and feel compassion” - which in short, stands for an externalisation of Mido’s personality.

On a shorter note, in Japan, the colour green represents youth, eternity, vitality and energy - which, in its own way is both a confirmation and a denial to other references made in Izuku’s character, such as his dangerous nature, him not being concentrated to live on for more than he is allowed to fulfil his duty (him being tied to number 9 and so on), and at the same time it reminds us of OfA, as it gains more power and energy and at his cheery, youthful persona.

As for Red, as the colour of Blood, it also stands to indicate '' Danger, Sacrifice, Courage" (which reconnects to his name's theory and numerology, of which I talked about here, in short).

In addition, red is usually used to professionally gain attention (it's hard to miss something so bright) and convey confidence. We know for a fact that Deku has been wearing red shoes since he was a kid (or at least, since he met Bakugō, which coincides with Izuku being four) and that despite being Quirkless, he always showed courage in standing out to people even when they thought of him as 'inferior' because on his unusual condition.

Among other negative meaning, there is an overflow of temper, anger, agitation, and overbearing, demanding and oppressive behaviours. As clear as day, these characteristics relate more to fiery Katsuki than Deku, but as stated before, Deku puts Katsuki as model and adapts his combat style to resemble Katsuki’s. So, this overflow of energy and action is a double-edged sword which affects both Katsuki and Izuku in different ways (and is mellowed out in Izuku’s character by his other soothing characteristics , but more on that later).

Also, Red, in Asia is a lucky colour which might (or not) hint at how, despite everything Izuku got his 'lucky' chance to inherit AM's power and follow his dream of becoming a hero. Particularly, in Japan this colour is associated and denotes strength, passion, self-sacrifice. A transmission of feeling as complex and empowering as the ones Deku fills while he is living his everyday life as a future hero, summed to his nature and inherited quirk.

Red is also a magical and religious color. It symbolized super-human heroism to the Greeks and is the color of the Christian crucifixion, which might be as meaningless as other things, but in this case it might greatly relate to the type of enormous power Izuku tries to reign in, and to the self sacrificing spirit which he proves again and again.

So far, the meanings of the colours which have been associated with Deku are in line with his name, his personality and even the storyline which has been drawed out.

Among other meanings red represents power, courage, energy, passion, and creates physical effects such as enhanced metabolism, enthusiasm, higher level of energy (which comes back to the initial reasons on why Deku chooses Red as a distinct colour for himself and his shoes).

The color red is linked to the most primitive physical, emotional, and financial needs of survival and self-preservation.

Finally is also the colour of leadership, determination and courage. So in short, the colours red, where it indicates energy, action and strong emotion-filled desires and aspirations, is also weak to overbearing aspects which transform empowerment into negative traits (which is what, in the end, is represented by Bakugou). It is also strong-willed and can give confidence to those who are shy or lacking in will power (the shoes in Deku’s case).

Red is the colour of the First (or Spine) Chakra and usually allows a person to be grounded and connect to universal energies, while Green is the link between spiritual and material.

What do these two colours mean in association with each other?

Onto how these two colours are related to each other, especially considering the premises made, we see that Red (life-giving properties, trust, belonging and violence) and Green (health, eternity, youth and greed) are not only opposites, but they complete and balance each other out. Indeed, to reign over emotions and actions, to red is usually added green which indeed is a pain-relieving patch for red’s intensity (the theory of Bakugou and Deku being two sides of the same coin are thriving).

Midoriya Izuku is an intense person. His personality allows him to balance out his power with a selfless nature, and while he himself is sweet and caring, his fiery eyes (and shoes) express for him his utmost sincere feelings, which deep down are very telling. As mentioned before, Izuku responds to Monoma when he insults Bakugou and makes a jab at how actually Bakugou is the one who ultimately terminated AM, by unlocking a new dangerous and powerful quirk, which is so powerful and fiery, and red in his intensity, that they need Shinsou’s intervention to actually calm him down.

Izuku is a overly protective person: he has forgiveness as a foremost characteristic and even if he does mention how he will not forgive Shigaraki for what he has done, on second though he realises that even a ‘monster’ like Shigaraki deserves to be saved, and therefore his other nature takes over.

Therefore, the coexistence of these factors, and his personality are probably at the origin of why Midoriya has had such a drastic make-over before becoming Midoriya Izuku, and why the colours of Red and Green are fundamental in the description which lets us have a full picture of Midoriya as an individual: something who is full of hope and energy, striving to express whisk power and passion while trying to concern only himself with the danger that comes with his mission to save everyone.

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jerzwriter · 3 years

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Good to be home....

Book: Open Heart (post series)

Pairing: Ethan x F!MC (Casey MacTavish)

Rating: NSFW – If you choose to read this, you acknowledge you are 18 or older.

Summary: Shortly after Ethan & Casey make things official, Ethan leaves for a 1-month research initiative at the Mayo Clinic. Welcome to his return home...

Category: Smut / Romance

Warnings: Sexually explicit content; language

A/N1: This standalone story takes place between Chapter 8 and Chapter 9 of Delaying the Inevitable.

A/N2: Executive Indecisions: Delaying the Inevitable series is about a love triangle, so smut is a given; but sometimes it can get lengthy (hey, who doesn’t like lengthy smut?). Going forward, when there is lengthy smut that enhances the series but is not required to progress the story, I think I will let it live in its own little world. This way those who want the smut and not the series can have it, those who want the series and not (as much) smut can have it, and those who want it all (best choice!) can do that too. Right now it’s an experiment let’s see how it goes.

A/N3: Since this ties in with the DTI series, I am tagging DTI readers, if you do not wish to be tagged in this series, please let me know. 😊

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Casey could not refrain from pacing around Ethan’s apartment. And while most people would consider checking the time on her phone every five minutes excessive, she was actually quite pleased with herself because, just an hour ago, she had been checking every two minutes. And that, my friends, is what we call…progress!! After an excruciating month-long separation, Ethan completed his collaboration with the Mayo Clinic and was finally back in Boston! He phoned her the moment his plane landed in Logan, but a missing piece of luggage was impeding their reunion. Casey was still rather cross at Mother Nature for denying them their final night together before he departed, so she was not about to allow an airline’s incompetence to steal even one moment from them tonight. Resilient as always, she knew that in a time of crisis, a girl needed to do what a girl needed to do to get her man home.

Her lips twisted into a smirk. She was victorious! The only thing that stood between her and her beloved now was Boston traffic. She honestly felt for Ethan’s Uber driver, now that he was motivated, he was bound to be a difficult fare. She could just see him barking at the poor thing for not taking a shortcut just because it happened to be illegal.

A month was too long for them to be parted. As heartbreaking his stint in the Amazon had been on Casey, things were quite different now. They were no longer hiding nor in denial, they belonged to one another, and the extended separation felt almost unnatural. Receiving a text saying ‘I love you’ at 2:00 AM paled in comparison to feeling his warm breath on her ear as he whispered to her in his sleep. She naively believed a whiff of his aftershave would have appeased her when she longed for his scent, but the fragrance was unrecognizable if it were not layered on his warm skin. Most importantly, she underestimated the power he possessed to quell her anxiety and bring her peace with almost no effort at all. His caress alone delivered a serenity that never knew existed until he entered her life. It would be easy to reduce her desire to be in his arms to something of a carnal nature, but that did not suffice, it was a primal need. Their separation confirmed what she already knew, he was the half that made her whole and while she could survive without him, she did not want to. She looked at her phone once again and a smile met her lips, for she knew the wait was nearing its end.

She checked herself in the mirror, it was imperative to her that Ethan would need to take one glance at her way to understand just how much he had been missed. Her blonde locks were tousled just the way he liked them and his favorite perfume was on her wrists. Her black silk teddy skimmed every curve, and the lace thigh-highs already elicited her desired effect, but just wait until he saw them accompanied with her new black stilettos. As she walked past his closet she raised an eyebrow, recalling that nothing drove him wilder than finding her wearing one of his shirts, she decided to make a last-minute update to her ensemble. She slipped a favorite white button-down shirt over her shoulders, leaving it partially buttoned with a loose knot tied at her waist. She smiled at her reflection; this would do nicely.

Her eyes widened when she checked her phone again, she just missed a text from Ethan. See what happens when you don’t check your phone every 5 minutes!!! “Baby, I’m in the lobby ❤️”. She giggled at herself when she started spontaneously jumping up and down, he really did regulate her to being no more than a lovesick schoolgirl, and she was fine with that. Once she heard his key slide into the door, she knew any notion she had previously entertained of greeting him in a choreographed seductive pose was fruitless, for he had not even turned the knob when she jerked the door open to greet him.

Before he had a chance to admire the look she carefully put together, she was already upon him. Ethan beamed as her arms flung around his neck. Dropping his bags to the floor he pulled her flush against his body, his broad smile crashed against her lips before her tongue began to dance with his. For the first time in his 38 years he learned, it is possible to passionately kiss someone while smiling.

Casey peppered him with kisses, “Oh my God! Ethan! You’re home!! I missed you soooooo much!!”

He looked her over and let out a shuddering sigh, clearly, her efforts paid off. He kissed her passionately before saying, “I am home, baby, but can we move into the apartment please, because as unfortunate as it is for my neighbors, I am not willing to share you looking like that.”

Casey blushed; in her eagerness to reach him, she failed to realize that she stepped out into the hallway. Smiling, she grasped his hand and pulled him back into his home. His home. It was no longer a physical place, but it now resided within her.

Ethan was all over Casey the moment the door shut. His lips wrote paragraphs of little kisses atop her skin, each punctuated with breathless pants of ‘I love you’. Refusing to let go of her touch, he kept her hands in his when he stepped back to take in the vision that stood before him. His eyes were intoxicated, in his lifetime he never desired anyone, or anything more than he did her at that moment.

He raised a hand to her cheek, “Casey, you are exquisite. My God, how are you mine?” Without another word, he lurched forward lifting her onto his dining room table. He kissed her mouth, her neck, her ears, moaning “I missed you” repeatedly. He clutched her curls in his hand and inhaled them deeply, “I missed the scent of your hair.” Dragging his tongue down the side of her face he whispered, “I missed the taste of your skin.” Writhing beneath him, Casey let out a slow groan, “And, God, how I missed those beautiful sounds.”

Fighting her instinct to fully surrender to him then and there, Casey grabbed his face and started seductively into his eyes, “Then you should probably help me make more of them.”

Lust overtook him as he slid his hands under his shirt on her body; she was right, he found nothing more erotic. His fingers fumbled to undo the buttons; he was far too blind with desire to complete the menial task.

“Why did you have to button these,” he admonished.

“It was a mistake,” Casey gasped, “I’m sorry. I regret it.”

“Don’t! Just like I won’t regret this.” He forcefully ripped the shirt off her, casting it to her side then dropped his mouth to her; his wet tongue glided across her neck, her collarbone, her chest…

“Oh, I hope I didn’t grab one of the expensive ones,” she giggled.

“I really don’t give a shit if you did.”

With a grunt, he leaned forward and lifted her. She threw her legs around his back greedily rubbing against him as their hands and lips desperately grasped at each other. He gently tossed her onto his bed then he stood back to stare at the beautiful creature lying in wait before him. Leaning back Casey’s tousled locks cascaded along her beautiful face grazing her flushed pink skin; her legs were splayed haphazardly across his mattress, her teddy fell delicately between her legs, barely covering the voluptuous folds that eagerly awaited his touch. A gentle moan escaped her throat as she bit her lower lip eager for him to join her. As her crystal blue eyes, normally full of innocence, lustfully met his gaze he could feel them silently pleading with him for more. He was rendered speechless, how had an erotic angel fallen to earth for him and him alone? The cynical scientist who mocked the notions of fate and destiny found himself riveted, wondering what he possibly could have done to deserve the woman before him, yet he knew, that whatever it may have been, it could never have been enough.

“You’re magnificent, I don’t have the words to…” he trailed.

“Then don’t tell me, show me…”

The last syllable had not fallen from her lips when he was on her, embracing her in his strong arms, pulling at her hair, hungrily claiming her mouth and her body as his own. Casey felt her body throb as Ethan’s fingers slid under her teddy, rolling it to her waist. Ethan chuckled, “I see you’re not wearing any panties.”

“I felt it would be a waste,” she gasped.

“You were correct to think so.”

Grabbing her knees, he gruffly pulled her to the edge of his bed, lowering himself into the space between her legs. He felt himself harden as his mouth met her center, dripping with desire for him. As his hands roamed her body his tongue explored her cervices slowly and gently at first, reacquainting himself. But as her delicate moans grew into needy, desperate pleas he could no longer contain his voracity. Lifting his hand, he aggressively thrust two fingers inside her, her ensuing whimpers were his reward. Her head flung back and she bit her lips, her mind found it impossible to form words, he would have to rely solely on the sweet noises she offered as encouragement. He moaned against her body as his mouth ferociously serviced her. His free hand traveled slowly underneath her teddy, and he smiled when he reached his target, his initial tenderness all but disappeared as he squeezed her nipple relentlessly. Casey finally mustered up a single word: Ethan. She groaned his name with such depravity that it shook him to his core. She could no longer think, she could barely even feel, Ethan had her exactly where he wanted her, so enraptured she did not know where she ended and he began.

“Ethan, I... I” she attempted to speak, “I’m g…” but words were futile.

Lifting his head for but a moment, he encouraged her.

“Cum for me my baby. I’ve waited too long for this, cum for me now.”

Casey’s eyes clenched as a warm, red heat radiated throughout her body. Ethan grabbed her hands holding her arms in place as her she bucked uncontrollably. He continued lapping at her as she neared her peak then, with a violent shudder, the red turned to a blinding white light. Casey shot off the bed screaming Ethan’s name in surrender. Breathlessly she looked down at him, still nuzzled between thighs, and smiled. “Welcome home, baby.”

A devilish grin spread across his face as he attempted to climb on top of her, but it quickly faded when she held hands against his chest preventing him from coming closer.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she said flipping him on his back, “It is my turn now.”

Without breaking eye contact she undid pants and discarded them onto the floor. Stradling him, she removed his t-shirt and playfully pushed him against the headboard. He slid his hands underneath her teddy, taking his time to ensure he caressed every curve before pulling it off over her head. She had him mesmerized her pouty lips, the way her blonde curls fell just above her taut, pink nipples. With a coy grin he reached out to touch her, but Casey grabbed both of his wrists in her hands and held them above his head. She leaned over and taunted him allowing her breasts to hang just inches from his mouth.

“Dr. Ramsey, you need to understand that you are the patient, and I am in control right now. If you want to get all better, you need to do exactly as I say.”

She pulled him into a warm, seductive kiss and then retreated.

“Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes, Dr. MacTavish, I’m at your mercy.”

She leered at him salaciously then whispered in his ear, “That’s what I like to hear.”

“Now leave your hands where they are until I tell you that you can move them. If you disobey, I may have to tie you, or worse, you’ll just have to go without. So be a good boy.”

She sucked his earlobe slowly, feeling his body shiver underneath her, but his hands remained in place. “Good boy,” she whispered.

She licked a painfully slow trail down his neck to his chest, when her mouth met his nipple she flicked her tongue against it until she heard the exact moan she was longing for escape from his throat. She rewarded him by sucking harder and reaching down to caress his sac between her fingers. The sensation welled up inside him and his arms dropped slightly.

“Nah, ah, ah,” she groaned as her tongue moved onto his other nipple. “You know the rules, Dr. Ramsey. Please don’t force me to be mean to you on your first night back.”

Her eyes toyed with him as she wordlessly dared him to watch her while she continued to lick her way down to his chest, to his abs, stopping just before she reached the prize. Sliding lower she took his rock-hard length in her hands, eliciting an audible gasp from Ethan.

“Now, Dr. Ramsey,” she said teasing his tip with her finger, “It appears we have a situation here. Why are you already a bit… damp? I have not even touched you yet. Tsk, tsk, tsk, do you think this could be a result of being away from me for a whole month?”

His breath hitched, “You… you’re the doctor.”

“Yes,” she beamed, “I am, and the prescription is you can never be away from me that long again. But, for now, let me see what I can do to help you clean this up.”

Holding him in her hands, she lowered her mouth and softly swirled her tongue around his tip. The sensation overwhelmed him, causing his arms to fall to his side as his body shivered. Casey removed her mouth promptly.

“Did I instruct you to lower your arms, Dr. Ramsey?”

Looking down at her angelic face smiling up at him, drunk with power, he could not help but grin, it was such a fucking turn-on.

“I’m waiting?”

“No, mistress, you did not.”

She tilted her head feigning disappointment, “You’re lucky this is a special day and I do not wish to deny you. But remember, I will be correcting this behavior in the future. Am I clear?”

Without waiting for an answer, her mouth enveloped him almost in its entirety. The warmth and friction overtook Ethan, causing an explosion of light to erupt inside his head. He was completely under her control as the guttural noises escaping his throat set her already heightened arousal aflame. Ethan placed his hands on the back of her head forcing her to look up at him. She took that as a challenge and relaxing her mouth and the back of her throat, she slowly took him in deeper and deeper. Ethan stared at her in silent astonishment for as long as he could, but as the sensations became more intense, his head flung back. Desperately to regain control, he pulled the back of Casey’s hair and began thrusting into her mouth. Casey was not going to allow herself to be outdone, she welcomed his thrusts and began to stroke his shaft with her tongue each time he entered.

Overwhelmed Ethan pulled her off him. “That’s enough!” he yelled taking her in his arms. “I think it’s time you remember you’re the resident and I am your attending, Dr. MacTavish.”

“For a short time longer,” she playfully challenged.

“For tonight.”

He lifted her as if she were a precious porcelain doll and draped her across his bed. As he gazed down at her lying beneath him, her curls spilled out on his pillow, her fiery blue eyes seared into his, biting her lower lip as she attempted to suppress her need for him, he could cum just looking at her, but that was never his plan. Abruptly snapping her legs apart, he plunged deep inside of her. Casey let out a wanton shriek which only became more unhinged as he continued to pound against her. She was soft and supple around him, drenching him more with each thrust. He knew he would not last long, but he also knew he was not done with her yet. Moving his thumb over her clit he rubbed rapid circles into her as he continued to fuck her toward her release. Feeling her tense up around him he demanded, “One more time, baby, show me how much you missed me. Let it go, baby.”

The white light erupted again as Casey clenched so tight, she could feel herself strangling him within her. Covered in sweat her skin went from pink to red before she cried out in relief. Ethan watched her knowing damn well he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He only needed a few more thrusts before his body shuddered and he collapsed after releasing deep inside her.

He went to move off her, but she held him in place, she enjoyed the feel of his weight on top of her, it served as a reminder that he was home, where he belonged. Lying together sweating, pleasantly spent, and allowing their breathing to return to normal together was everything they had both desired since the day they last touched.

Ethan lifted his head to look at her, “I fucking love you, Casey, we can never be apart that long again – do you understand me?"

“I think it should be illegal,” she whispered.

He smiled “It should be.”

“Can we do this again, after we nap?”

He smiled at her adoringly and kissed her forehead, “You better believe it. It’s great to be home.” @adiehardfan @barbean @binny1985 @bluerosesbloom @brokenmemoriesblog @charisworld @chemist-ana @coffeeheartaddict @custaroonie @darkswagamerpiratecowboyclown @dorisz @dottie-minerva-mikas @larsterz @liaromancewriter

@panda9584; @schnitzelbutterfingers; @secretaryunpaid; @shewillreadyou; @swiminthegarden @youlookappropriate

@shanzay44 @parisa-kh @lady-calypso @chaoticchopshopheart@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @kachris

@gardeningourmet @lucy-268

#open heart #ethan ramsey #open heart fanfiction #open heart fanfic #open heart 3 #open heart fandom #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan ramsey x f!mc #ethan x f!mc #choices fic writers creations #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfiction #fics of the week

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chaoticallysapphic · 4 years

Text

Panda Lilies

Summary: You both are terrified of admitting your feelings for one another, but an old gift finally rips the truth out of you.

A/N: this was requested by a nonnie, it’s from the prompt list N1 and is number 9 in the surprise section. I hope it lives up to your expectations Nonnie!

Word count: 2K

You were a coward. Sure you’d taken multiple benders at once, won spars, and fought alongside others to right what was wrong. But when it came to your feelings, you clammed up and became something pitiful. It’s at your grandfather’s funeral that you reunite with your first love, snowfalls in little flurries, and the sun is already setting despite it only being midday. Winter had come and taken with it a piece of you.

She sets a hand on your shoulder and gives it a comforting squeeze “He was a remarkable man,” Lin says. You let out a sigh and look over at her, your grandparents had practically raised you, what with your mom dying while giving birth to your younger brother and your father dying a few years later in a shipwreck.

Suki had died two years ago, that’s the last time you’d seen Lin. The ceremony was a beautiful mix of water tribe and Kyoshi traditions, warriors that hailed from your grandmother’s homeland had all come to properly bury her in their traditional garb with the white makeup painted across their faces. You knew all the women who came, having trained alongside them growing up, and despite Sokka not having any ties to Kyoshi island, they had also come today to offer support. Your closest friend among the warriors eyes Lin’s hand and gives you a look of encouragement before turning her back and leaving.

“Thank you for coming,” you say, completely turning your body to face Lins. You shouldn’t have been surprised about her showing up, but she’d been so busy in Republic City, her letters had lessened over the years and the yearly winter solstice call you two shared stopped a few years ago. You remember idly sitting by your telephone as you twirled the cord around, waiting for it to ring. Lin always called you, the second she got home from work on the winter solstice you’d talk the night away.

Your brother used to tease you about it, going on about how you’d give up the delights of the delicious foods and games only held on this night for some girl oceans away, but he stopped when he came home to you staring at the phone with your knees brought up to your chest. Lin was a bit older than you, what with you only being thirty but you didn’t think that would stop her from contacting you… Until it did, because that had to be the reason she cut you out. You must not be mature enough for her.

“Of course, I…” Lin drops her hand, seeming to have forgotten it was even there. She clears her throat and sighs “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I had skipped this.” Sokka was like a father to Lin, that much you know. Lin didn’t know her real father and so he had stepped up to fill that male role in her and Suyin’s life. When he had taken in you and your brother, he had immediately introduced you to all the Beifong women, you’d been crying about feeling so alone, the weight of it crushing you, and they all helped piece you back together. You were only seventeen then and terrified of a world without your father.

Now you’re thirty and honestly, you’re terrified of a world without your grandfather. You gulp and a shudder passes through your body as you try to keep it all down. Lin must notice this because she wraps her arms around you and presses you close. You immediately wrap your arms around her waist and bury your face into her neck as you cry. Technically you should become the new Chief, but you’d begged your younger brother to take the role, the idea of ruling a nation made your hair fall. You stay there in each other’s arms until your fingertips start to go numb and when you pull away with a groan, Lin leads you to your home. You ask her if you can go there instead of to the wake, you don’t want to listen to even more people offer their condolences.

“Of course, whatever you want” she replies, your arm is looped through hers and she sets her hand on top of yours, she states its to keep you warm and maybe it is, but you like to think its because she likes you back. Once inside she lets go of you, and you reluctantly drop your arms, it’s unbearably silent and you immediately try to busy yourself.

“Tea?” you say, grabbing the pot and filling it with water. Lin is used to seeing you do this to avoid any type of serious conversation, you busy yourself with something and usually, it ends up being tea. “I’d love a cup,” she says softly, it’s best to let you get it out of your system.

She sits down onto your couch that is covered in different thick fur blankets, Lin picks a familiar one up, it’s from your first boyfriend, he’d gone on a hunt with your grandfather and skinned it into a blanket just for you, he thought it was truly romantic whilst you held it with a look of fake happiness. Once alone you’d looked at Lin and laughed, you joked about how barbaric that was and how you’d never want a significant other to give you a dead animal in the future.

Besides, blankets were typical presents older relatives gave in the south pole. A chuckle escapes her as she fingers the blanket, you glance over and blush at the sight of Lin sitting so comfortably in your home. Even when she came to visit Suki she’d been quite distant, she still comforted you but left shortly after. It made you cry even harder than you already were, but your friends held you together and tried to convince you to get over her. But you knew you never would.

Lin has her legs spread open with her elbows on her knees as she stares at that stupid blanket. “Can’t believe you kept this” she says, breaking the silence. The whistle of the teapot keeps you from replying at first, you pour the hot water into two cups along with the jasmine leaves. You picked them both up and walked over to her, she leaned up and took her cup, “thank you.”

You sit down on the other side of the couch and hold the steaming cup between your hands. “I don’t throw out gifts people give me” you admit, softly blowing at your tea. Unbeknownst to the earth bender, you have a wooden box hidden away underneath your bed, and inside is every gift Lin has ever given you. Even the box itself was a gift from her.

“Not a single one?” She asks, raising her brows. You’ve been given some weird stuff over the years especially seeing as you were originally next in line to be chief, everyone tried to butter you up with so many things you’d never use nor want. “Nope” you reply.

You take a sip of your tea and let out a hiss at the burnt feeling it leaves on your tongue, but you like it, it distracts you from the pounding in your chest. “Even…” Lin pauses, she looks down at the teacup in her hands, its a set Iroh II sent you last year for your birthday, he said it reminded him of the south pole with the deep bluefish and the silver snowflakes smattered about. “Even my gifts?”

You swallow down a large gulp of tea that scolds your throat on the way down and nod, “Uhm, yeah I still have them all.”

“Can I see?” Well, you most certainly didn’t expect that spirits help you. “Sure, yeah I’ll go grab them,” You say, you hastily set your cup on your coffee table, some of the contents slosh out the side but you simply leave it be and practically race into your room. Your cheeks feel warm, you bring your hands up to your face and walk over to the mirror on top of your dresser.

Almost your whole face is red due to embarrassment, but you could never say no to Lin and so you take a deep breath and pull the box out from under your bed. It’s a carved box, with details of fish and polar dogs on the side, on top of it is your full name in elegant handwriting. Lin had made this for you using her bending, she swore it only took a few hours but with the craftsmanship of it your so sure it had taken weeks to prepare.

“You can do this, it’s just Lin,” you say to yourself, but that’s the problem, it’s Lin. You’d dated so many people in hopes of getting over her but at the end of the day, you’d always wish the person beside you in bed was a grouchy earth bender with a scar across her cheek. It’s honestly embarrassing, you’d never even dated, never even kissed. But alas, feelings are a horrible thing.

You finally work up the courage to leave the comfort of your darkroom and reenter the living room, Lin’s eyes widen at the box in your arms and you set it between the two of you on the couch, you don’t notice, to transfixed by the calluses on your hands to see Lin blushing at the sight. She made this for you for your first birthday as friends, she honestly forgot it even existed up until now.

Lin hesitantly flicks up the latch and opens it up. The box lets out a loud creak that makes you cringe a bit. Inside is everything, it’s like a time capsule and Lin is truly speechless. The necklace she metal bent you, the ticket you got from the pro-bending match you both attended together, which was your first-ever as well. A dress is folded underneath along with every letter ever sent to you. What makes Lin’s whole body freeze is the sight of a pressed flower encased in glass to protect it.

She had given you that flower when you visited republic city one summer, you had been crying over some stupid girl who decided you weren’t enough to make her happy, way before that day you had once ranted to Lin about how all you ever wanted from someone was a flower, you said it seemed so intimate and personal. She’d given it to you in hopes of cheering you up. It was worth going to the florist, your whole face lit up and your tears ceased as you marveled at it.

“It’s just a simple panda lily” Lin had said, trying her hardest to keep her composure at that moment, knowing that she made you smile that big made her feel like she was some kind of hero, she had thought about how she never wanted you to direct that smile at anyone else but her, it was different from your usual one.

You look up from your lap and your whole face flushes a deep red when you see what’s halted her movements. “I didn’t know you kept all this,” Lin says softly, she clears her throat and pulls away from the box, you hastily shut it, latching the lock back into place and setting it down onto the floor, out of sight.

“I told you, I keep everything…” you look down at your hands, you may keep everything simply to be polite, but you kept everything from her because holding it made you feel like she was with you.

“Even a stupid flower?” Lin quirks a brow and you gasp, your eyes shooting up to look into her green ones.

“It’s not a stupid flower, it was one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given!”

“It’s not even one of those rare ones, it’s just a panda lily” Lin replies. She doesn’t know why she’s saying this, maybe she wants you to say something, admit something that might give her even just a speck of hope.

“It’s…” you sigh, your brows knit together in frustration, “it’s the only gift I’ve ever received that made me feel special and I’d like it if you wouldn’t talk badly of it.”

“Why does it make you feel so special?” Again, she’s hoping you keep going, keep giving her something to go off of. You roll your eyes and stand up, picking up the box as well.

“It’s nothing, I should… I should get some sleep” you say before disappearing into your room. You aren’t sure when she leaves but you do know when you wake up the next morning the teacups have been cleaned and she’s nowhere in sight. You’re such a coward, she already hardly keeps in contact with you, she probably won’t at all anymore. There goes your twice a year letters.

You get ready for the day and head over to the Chief’s house where you know your brother and friends will be, maybe they can calm you down before dinner tonight where Lin will probably be. When you arrive your brother is nowhere to be seen, instead you find your Kyoshi friends who all give you tight, long hugs. When you reach your best friend she hugs you longer and murmurs “I’m sorry about your grandfather and Lin.”

You rip yourself out of her grasp, your face pinched in confusion “what happened to Lin?” you ask, the warriors all look at each other, waiting for one of them to fess up. “She told your brother republic city needed her back sooner than she thought, said she’s gonna take the first boat back.” One of your friends says softly with a pitying look, no.

You push past them and race down the stairs, the first trade ship docks around the afternoon and leaves the harbor only an hour after, It should still be in port if you make it in time. You race down the wide icy streets of your home as fast as you can, just two more blocks, you tell yourself. You zip around a corner and crash into something hard and wooden, you crash to the ground and let out a groan at the pain the erupts from your fall.

“My cabbages!” a man yells out and you open your eyes to see dozens of cabbages rolling around. “You-” he turns to you with a face full of rage but you pull yourself up despite the aches in your bones and run past him.

“I am so sorry!” you yell over your shoulder, there it is, the port. It’s in front of your eyes and there’s a trade ship still docked there, you don’t slow down as you weave past oncoming traffic and race down the steps before finally you’re on the icy dock, and ahead of you is her, she’s talking to one of the men loading the ship, probably ordering him around, you think fondly. You run over to her, her back is facing you so she doesn’t see you run-up, so you grip her arm and spin her around.

She’s surprised and you see her shoot out a metal wire which thankfully misses you, when she sees it’s you her face pinches in annoyance “I could have hurt you! You can’t just snea-” you interrupt her in a way you’ve only ever dreamed of doing and pull her lips down to crash into your own. She lets a sound of surprise that sounds like a mixture between a squeak and a groan which if she doesn’t slap you across the face and shun you for eternity you might just tease her about it.

At first, she remains completely still and the courage that finally pumped through your veins vanishes, you pull away from her, your hands dropping from her cheeks as you try to formulate an apology in your head. Before you can even think of one, Lin has pulled you back into a kiss and this time she readily returns it. Her hands thread through your hair and tilt your head back so she can properly slant her lips against yours and spirits, this feels better than your wildest dreams.

Her lips are so soft and her hands are rough from a lifetime of work and fighting away bad guys but you love it, you love the feeling of them against your cheeks, of her long fingers tugging your hair.

Finally, you pull away for air and you stare deep into Lin’s eyes, she keeps her hands in your hair as you blurt out, “I know this is a really bad time but if I don’t blurt it out now I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell you. I think I’m in love with you!” Your voice raises a bit at the end. “It was special to me not because it was a flower, like I had ranted about years before you even gave it to me, but because you gave it to me!”

Lin looks deep into your eyes as you confess to her, all these years she’s been pulling more and more away from you in fear she might slip up about her feelings but you’ve reciprocated them all along if she had just told you sooner as she’d always dreamed of.

“I…” Lin blushes, she’s not good with words or talking about her feelings but she knows she needs to say this, even if you don’t make her, “I love you too, I think I realized that day when I gave you the panda lily.”

Laughter bubbles up through your throat and it escapes you, she’s loved you all these years? Spirits you both are clueless.

“If you’ll let me, I’ll like to give you a million more,” she says softly, you bite your lip to keep from grinning to wide as you slowly nod. “I’d love that.”

#request #lin beifong #lin beifong x reader #lin beifong/reader #lok #legend of kora #sokka #suki #kyoshi #toph #suyin #angst #fluffy ending

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riotwritesthings · 4 years

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song and dance number not included

WinterIron, T, 1.9k, crack, this is just crack, banter, vague nonpowered AU | A03

Once upon a time @gayspacesprinkles made this post. And fun fact about me I will write basically anything Ant says ahaha ILUBRO.

I know this has already been done better don’t fight me I just wanna make everything crack

Title: song and dance number not included Collaborator Name: Riot @buckybarnesbingo Square Filled: U4, One Night Stand @starkbucksbingo Square Filled: N1, World Domination Ship/Main Pairing: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags & Triggers: Crack, banter Summary: Bucky has seen some wild things in his time as a Professional Cuddle Buddy. Nothing beats finding himself in Tony Stark’s penthouse with the sleep deprived genius himself. Word Count: 1,897

Bucky steps off the elevator, into the giant penthouse, and he is 90% sure that this is some kind of elaborate prank. Ten minutes from now someone is going to be shoving a waiver in his face and demanding to broadcast his embarrassing surprised face on national TV.

Because no way does someone like Tony Stark need to hire a cuddling agency.

He takes another couple steps, and there’s no cameras. There’s nothing, just a giant empty penthouse, and Bucky glances down at his phone to confirm that yep, he is in the right place.

He’s just about to turn and leave when a face pops up over the back of the couch.

The first thing Bucky notices is the big doe eyes, warm brown and huge like a Disney character, but so sad. The second thing he notices are the bags under the eyes, deep and dark like bruises, like they’ve been there for a while.

The fact that he’s just staring dumbly at Tony Stark is actually the fifth thing Bucky notices, after the insane lower lashes and the fluffy hair.

Luckily the man is apparently as sleep deprived as he looks, because he just blinks at Bucky for a couple seconds and by the time he speaks Bucky has mostly gotten his brain back online.

“Please tell me you’re really not a hooker,” Tony says, squinting at him, voice rough and a little whiny as he adds “I literally just want a hug.”

Bucky sputters out a laugh, rocking on his heels as he says “I solemnly swear I am not a prostitute. Though I do give great hugs.”

“Awesome,” Tony says with a happy sigh and flails his arms up over the couch, making grabby hands at him.

“Did you wanna move somewhere more comfortable?” Bucky asks, rounding the modernist monstrosity of furniture that is the couch. When Tony opens his mouth, suspicious look on his face, Bucky rolls his eyes and says “Still not a prostitute.”

Tony snaps his mouth shut again with a sheepish look, then huffs out a soft laugh.

“This is fine,” he says, sitting up fully and patting the spot between himself and the arm of the couch, “It’s just me here, I end up falling asleep out here half the time anyways.”

Which is... kind of a sad thought, actually. This penthouse seems huge, too big for one person, and based on the dark circles under Tony’s eyes he doesn’t get much sleep anywhere.

Bucky has barely dropped onto the couch before Tony is plastering himself to Bucky’s side, surprisingly strong arms looping around his waist and his face pressing into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Okay, start the clock,” Tony says, already going limp against his side.

“Hold on,” Bucky says with a laugh, twisting to the side slightly so he can lean back into the corner of the couch and get his arms around Tony in return, pulling him in a little closer and nearly fumbling his phone in the process. “Is that comfortable, um, Mr- Ow.”

“Just Tony,” Tony says, peeking up at him sourly and removing his impressively pointy finger from Bucky’s side, “unless you want to be ‘Mr Cuddle-Buddy’, that is.”

“I’ve been called worse,” Bucky says with another laugh, guiding Tony’s head back down to his chest. “I’m Bucky, though, for the record,” he adds.

“What are you, a Disney character?” Tony asks, voice muffled as he nuzzles into the curve of Bucky’s shoulder and then quickly blurts out “please play with my hair.”

Bucky doesn’t need to be asked twice, burying the fingers of his free hand in Tony’s messy curls, soft and wild like Tony has been running his own hands through it.

“Mm, perfect,” Tony sighs as he pulls his legs up onto the couch, curls himself into a neat little ball against Bucky’s side.

Bucky lifts his phone just enough to see the screen and punches the shortcut to set an alarm for three hours. “Okay, now you’re on the clock," he says, and then wedges his phone into the couch near his head where the armrest meets the back.

“You are already getting marked highly recommended,” Tony slurs out, and Bucky laughs softly. “Seriously, you are like 90% muscle how are you this soft.”

“It’s my specialty,” Bucky says dryly and Tony’s answering laugh shakes his whole body.

“Shh, I’m mentally composing my review,” Tony says, patting lazily at his chest.

“Out loud,” Bucky can’t help pointing out.

“Yes,” Tony says, lifting his hand again to wave it slightly as he talks, “Now where was I- Ah yes, guaranteed ‘not’ a prostitute-”

“-I could hear those air quotes-”

“Very warm,” Tony continues, completely ignoring his interruption except for the way his hand flails a little harder, “Possibly a Disney character."

“Pretty sure I’m not, someone woulda told me by now,” Bucky argues, grinning helplessly and pressing his fingers a little harder into Tony’s scalp.

“Oh, you definitely are,” Tony says with a happy sigh, rubbing his nose against Bucky’s chest, “The only question is, with a name like that, you’re either an adorable animal sidekick, or a villain. Possibly both.”

“What-“ Bucky objects around a sputtering laugh, “I don’t think there was actually a question there.”

Tony tilts his chin up just enough to give Bucky a sleepy glare as he says “Well, which one is it, is the question! You planning world domination?”

“Yes. My plan begins with cuddling you into submission.”

“Well it's working,” Tony says happily, and his expression really does look lighter than it had when Bucky first got here, even if he does still look exhausted. “But when is the song and dance number?”

“Later,” Bucky says with a snort, “It’s my dramatic exit.”

“Or you gotta pay extra, right? In the back room?” Tony asks with a grin and a lazy wink that’s really more of a slow, uncoordinated blink.

“Not a stripper either,” Bucky huffs with a roll of his eyes, resisting the urge to tug at Tony’s hair.

“Too bad,” Tony says with a dreamy sigh, and Bucky really does pull at Tony’s hair a little in admonishment even as he laughs.

Tony continues his rambling ‘review’ amid Bucky’s protests until his warm, teasing voice slowly tapers away, and an hour in he’s fast asleep, snoring quietly into Bucky’s chest.

Bucky is torn.

On the one hand, Tony probably wants to be awake for the time he’s paying for. On the other, he looks so tired.

Waking him up would probably be a crime, and despite Tony’s claims Bucky is not actually a Disney villain.

So he wiggles down a little more against the arm of the couch, slow and careful even though he figures that if Tony does wake up, he has two more hours to fall back asleep if that’s what he wants.

Bucky certainly wouldn’t mind, Tony is warm and pleasantly heavy against his side, draped over his chest, and he looks so much younger when his face is softened with sleep.

He looks so different in real life, so much more real than he looks on TV. So much smaller, curled up into a tiny ball on his giant couch, in his big empty penthouse.

Tony’s hair is a mess of fluffy curls, so soft as Bucky continues running his fingers through it, the muscles of his back strong under Bucky’s other palm.

When Bucky’s alarm goes off it’s startlingly loud in the quiet of the penthouse, and even though Bucky has to fumble with it a bit before he turns it off Tony doesn't do anything more than make a quiet, sleepy sound and wiggle in a little closer.

Bucky hesitates for a second, glancing down at Tony’s peaceful face, and then wedges his phone back into the couch.

He was going to make this his last appointment of the night anyways. He’ll just stay until Tony wakes up.

Bucky wakes up staring at the incredibly high ceiling of Tony Stark’s penthouse, bathed in early morning light.

“Ah, fuck,” Bucky groans quietly to himself.

“Yeah, I actually get that a lot,” comes the voice from somewhere around his sternum, and when Bucky tips his chin down it’s to find Tony with his chin propped against Bucky’s chest, giving him a thoughtful look.

He looks a little less tired, bags beneath his eyes a little less pronounced, gorgeous even with crease marks on his cheek from Bucky’s shirt. Even if there is something wary in his expression.

“Hi,” Bucky says stupidly, still trying to blink away the grogginess in his brain and wincing when his neck aches sharply. That’s what he gets for accidentally spending all night with his head tipped way back against the arm of the couch.

“Hi,” Tony says back, and his big Bambi eyes dart to the side for just a second before he says “I’m not wholly unfamiliar with the one night stand, but I must admit we usually make it further than the couch. Fully dressed. What-“

“If you accuse me of bein’ a hooker again, ‘m gonna roll you right off this couch,” Bucky says before he can wake up enough to stop himself, and while he’s busy mentally cringing Tony’s eyes go wide with recognition.

“Ah fuck,” Tony groans while his cheeks flush an appealing, distracting pink, “What’s the overtime charge look like for top rated pro cuddlers?”

“Nah, don’ worry about it,” Bucky says quickly, finally untangling his fingers from Tony’s hair so he can rub over his eyes, “sorry, should’a woken you up-“

“So you’re saying you’re off the clock?” Tony interrupts, one eyebrow raised in an incredulous look, “You stayed off the clock?”

“I’m- um,” Bucky sputters awkwardly, and then realizes he has no excuse and sheepishly finishes with “Yes?”

“Even after I’m pretty sure I called you a prostitute at least three times?” Tony asks, and he still looks mildly baffled but there’s a smile growing on his face.

“It was five,” Bucky corrects, smiling back helplessly, “Once by callin’ me a lady of the evening, which, incorrect on multiple counts.”

“Right, I remember now,” Tony says slowly, and there is a devious look in his eye as he adds “We decided you’re an animated cow.”

“It was a horse, an’ I think you know it,” Bucky says with a mock-glare, gently pinching Tony’s ear and then tightening his arm around Tony’s back when he unexpectedly bursts into wild giggles.

When Tony settles down again he digs his chin into Bucky’s sternum with a happy sigh. His expression goes thoughtful, chewing on his bottom lip, and Bucky tries really hard not to get distracted.

They’re so close that Bucky can just barely feel the way Tony’s breath shakes nervously on the inhale, and then he asks “So, what are your feelings on breakfast?”

“Important,” Bucky blurts quickly, heart jumping in his chest, “Very important. Especially if I’m going to accomplish world domination today.”

“I knew it!” Tony crows victoriously, pushing himself upright and elbowing Bucky in the gut in the process. He grins happily in response to Bucky’s pained grunt and climbs to his feet, grabbing Bucky’s hand and giving it a tug. “C’mon,” he whines when Bucky moves not at all, “we need to go raid my kitchen. I want to get on your good side before you take over the world, I’m hoping it’ll get me a good spot in the dance number.”

“Yeah, I think that can be arranged,” Bucky says, grinning wide as he lets himself be pulled to his feet.

#my fic #winteriron #buckytony #starkbucks #Starkbucksbingo2020 #buckybarnesbingo2020 #i wrote this and now the world has to deal with it

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marvelship-oneshots · 3 years

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BIONIC (WINTERIRON)

AU where Tony doesn't die after the snap and finds out he's much more similar to Bucky than he has ever thought. *Pepper and Tony are not married and therefore there is no Morgan. Steve still goes back in time (even tho i could not disagree more with this decision)* [1.9k words]

"I am inevitable" A click sound echoed on the battlefield as Thanos snapped. Everyone stopped, ready to die, but nothing happened. Tony fell on his knees as the gamma radiations of the stones penetrated his body. It hurt, it hurt an awful lot, but he was better than Thanos. "And I...am...Iron Man" As Tony snapped, Thanos and his army turned into dust. They won and Tony didn't mind sacrificing his life for it. It started with FRIDAY turning herself off, then the suit cut the power. Peter ran to him, followed by Pepper and Rhodey and in that moment Tony saw his life running in front of him. He lived a good life after all. Tony closed his eyes as Peter was pulled away from him. The light from the Arc Reactor started fading away when Pepper and Rhodey took his hands. Bucky wanted to be there, he never really apologized for killing his parents. It was like the whole word was falling on him, but he knew that his pain was nothing compared to Pepper's or Rhodey's, or even Peter's. Rhodey placed his mask on Tony's face, unable to look at his lifeless face. "Mr. Rhodes, sir. I found an heartbeat" The AI spoke from War Machine's suit on the comms and everyone in the battlefield looked at Tony's corpse. There was an heartbeat, Tony was most likely not dead then. Dr. Strange opened a portal with his sling ring, following Rhodey, who was carrying Tony's body. They placed him on a stretcher while Stephen was looking for Christine. He left Tony with her in a surgery room and went to change in more surgery-appropriate clothes.

Tony's body was resting in a private room, connected to various machinery that were keeping him alive for now. The surgery went well, Strange and Christine were positive that Tony would recover. It was going to be a long process, but eventually he would. They did everything in their power to save him and luckily it was more than enough. Unfortunately there was nothing they could do for Tony's right arm, the armor had fused with his flash. His body needed to regenerate and adjust to the operation they performed. He was in a coma but he was most likely to wake up. Tony was resting on the candid bed, he looked peaceful and that was probably the best sleep he had since they started the whole time heist thing.

Strange had returned the stones to the Avengers and Steve was the one in charge of returning them in the place they belong. He had greeted Bucky and Sam before going back in time again and never coming back. Well, he did came back, as an old man married to someone, most likely Peggy. He had nothing to lose, he complained, everything that meant something to him was gone. Bucky didn't know what to think of his decision. He was still there, Sam too and Tony was alive. But apparently they were not enough for Steve, once again Bucky was not enough.

Bucky couldn't hide that he was relieved when he was told that Tony would make it, but still couldn't force himself to visit him. He was sure Tony wouldn't want him there after all he caused to him. But one day Bucky decided that if he were to live in that century, he might as well try to fix as much as he could his relations with what was left of the Avengers. Bucky was well aware that it was him the cause of the Civil War and the reason behind Tony and Steve's rivalry over the past years. And that was probably the reason why they could not defeat Thanos the first time. 'Butterfly effect' thought Bucky entering the elevator of the hospital 'A butterfly flaps its wings in Tokyo and in New York there is a hurricane. Steve wants to protect me and Tony ends up in a coma'

In the room with Tony there was Rhodey, reading a book while sitting on the armchair next to the bed. Bucky was standing in the corridor, behind the big window, looking at Tony and at his empty shoulder. He couldn't help but blaming himself for... everything. When Rhodey saw him, he smiled, walking towards the door. "You can come in, y'know" said the Colonel opening the door. Bucky shyly walked in the room, sitting in the plastic chair in the corner. Rhodey looked at the time. "I really have to run, Pepper is running late for a meeting at SI, you wouldn't mind staying with him 'til she arrives, would'ya?" asked and Bucky nodded. About an hour later Pepper arrived. Bucky was sleeping on the armchair when she put a hand on his shoulder. Pepper knew what he had been thinking, she was good at reading people. "It's not your fault."

The compound was destructed during the attack and it was in Tony's plans to build it again, but 'til then the Avengers, or what was left of them, was back at the Avengers Tower. Since the day he came back, Tony was locked in his workshop. Everything was new for him. Life seemed to be back to normal again, but in reality it wasn't. Steve was and old, wrinkly man, wedded to God-knows-who, Natasha was still dead, Banner was still in Hulk's body, Thor was somewhere with Quill and the other Guardians and Clint retired. Sometimes he felt like he was the only Avenger left, only to remember that he still had a missing arm, and without it where was a little he could do. Tony had spent a week in his lab trying to figure out what was next, trying to create a new arm with the help of FRIDAY and Dum-E, but he had always written and done everything with his right arm and trying to create an arm, or anything actually, without his right arm was incredibly difficult. Most of the time he spent in the lab, he was walking up and down the room with a glass of scotch in his hand at first, then the whole bottle and then with his beloved coffee.

Tony was sitting at the working table, looking at the holographic blueprints open in front of him. The only thing written on them was "Arm prototype n1". Bucky was standing in front of the glass door of the lab, with a hand on the handle, not really sure whether he should open it or not. "Sergeant Barnes is requesting access to the lab sir" FRIDAY spoke up. "Let him in Fri" Bucky walked to the working table, looking in awe to the holographic blueprints. He lived in Wakanda for a while but he was still amazed by every technological evolution. "James" Tony greeted him with a small smile, keeping a look on the blueprint. They sat there in silence for a while, until Bucky spoke up. "Tony...I'm..I'm sorry for..." Tony looked at him softly "It's ok, it wasn't you" Tony knew that just like that he was not going to make everything fine, he knew that Bucky would still blame himself. Tony was aware that Bucky was not the Winter Soldier, and he had always been interested in Bucky, somehow. "I...I would make it light if I were you" babbled Bucky. Tony looked at him with a questioning look. "The arm, I would make it light" Tony smiled. "Wanna help me out here?"

Tony and Bucky spent much more than the needed time in the lab, designing and building Tony's arm and when it was finally ready, Bucky would teach Tony every secret he had learned over the years and Tony would teach him how technology works. They liked spending time with one another, they both felt like no one else could understand them. They actually liked each other and for once in ages, Bucky felt like someone really cared about him. Bucky had told Tony things he never told anybody, not even Steve. He told him about HYDRA, about the war, about the 40s and how was being a gay man in the close-minded society of the time. If Tony thought that the 2000s weren't the best time for being gay, he had to rethink his position. Together they had designed Tony's arm, another arm for Bucky in case he got tired of the Wakandian one, designed the new compound, build new suits for the two of them and a new one for Peter and Rhodey as well. Bucky now knew how to use the holographic table in Tony's lab and was not scared of FRIDAY anymore, he even helped create a new AI just for himself and Tony was incredibly proud of Bucky. Tony really really liked Bucky, he thought he was handsome and extremely hot, but most of all, had always a great time with him. On the other hand, Bucky really liked Tony too, maybe he loved him even, but never had the balls to tell him. Way too many times they found themself close enough to breathe each other breaths, but with an excuse or the other, that had always pulled away.

Tony couldn't take that situation anymore. He wanted Bucky to himself and himself only. They had an appointment in the lab that day, like any other day. They were about to develop some updates to Peter's sidey suit. Bucky came in the lab without any fuss, he didn't need a code, a badge or any announcement from the AI, he just lightly kicked the door. And by lightly I mean that he almost broke the glass, but managed to stop it soon enough not to cause damage. Tony looked at the entrance, where Bucky was standing in his gray sweatpants and black tank top. "It's a glass door Backaroo, there's no need to change it for the third time, is there?" asked Tony looking back at the blueprints of the new web shooters for Peter. Bucky walked over to his usual position next to the shorter brunette. They were working kinda peacefully when Bucky heard a metallic clicky sound. Tony had a guilty smirk on his face. Bucky looked over his left shoulder: Tony had just sticked a fridge magnet on his metal arm. It was a little thing between the two of them. A few weeks before Tony had bought more magnets than a normal person would ever need in their whole life and they just started sticking them on each other's arms. As soon as Tony realized that Bucky noticed, he started slowly walking away, but Bucky was faster and trapped Tony with his arms between his body and the table. Tony felt Bucky's breath on his neck and turned to face him. Their noses were touching. That was the occasion Tony had been waiting for. He stand in his tip toes while pressing his lips on Bucky's. Bucky's eyes widened but surprisingly enough he kissed him back, pulling him closer. The two walked towards the couch Tony had placed there for Bucky and they sat down. Bucky pulled him closer, making him sit on his lap, kissing his little innocent smile. Bucky placed both of his hands on Tony's waist, under his t-shirt. Tony leaped back for the cold touch of Bucky's vibranium hand. Bucky pulled back, taking his hand away from Tony's waist. His smile faded away and Tony understood. "It's just cold" said caressing Bucky's cheek "You better put that hand back and start kissing me again, old man" Bucky did what Tony told him to do with a smile. "Yes sir"

#marvel #tony stark #starkbucks #winteriron #buckytony #tony x bucky #the avengers #au #endgame #mcu

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songbirdsengines · 3 years

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My Gordon Thoughts

So, @scotsman-simp put out a “Gordon Weekly Challenge” and... I couldn’t resist.

And, so, I present to you, some of my own little notes about everyone’s favorite snarky blue tender engine. (Below the cut so I’m not crowding dashboards)

Gordon Headcanons

- So, to start, we see a lot of Gordon bragging about himself, right? Well, I semi-headcanon that he spends just as much time bragging about his family. Because we can’t forget who all he is related to!

Flying Scotsman, his lone brother. Scotsman (who I imagine Gordon often calls Scott) was the first engine who was officially clocked at 100 mph! And he was named after a pretty darn important train in the LNER’s roster

Mallard, who is probably one of the most well known of the Gresley clan. This is the engine that has held the world steam speed record for over 75 years! And I’m sure getting to that speed was no easy feat.

And Ryan! He’s a Gresley N1/2 and practically runs the Harwick Branch line with Daisy. Aside from Spencer, Ryan is Gordon’s main family member on Sodor and the only other one (that I know of) to be employed by the NWR.

Gordon’s got some pretty important family! We do see this a bit more in the books, as Mallard’s record is mentioned at least once, but I think he certainly brags a lot more.

- In a somewhat recent episode (S21), we do see Gordon and Spencer make amends. However, you can’t seriously tell me that they’re all of a sudden the best of friends overnight. I can see Gordon and Spencer still riling each other up. STH and the Duke even arrange for them to race each other (when it doesn’t interfere with anyone’s work, of course)

- I think Gordon and Scotsman actually interact a lot more frequently than we see in the TV series. It would be nearly cruel to keep these two from interacting on some kind of regular basis. At the absolute least, they have their crews write letters and mail them to each other (Scott writes to STH’s office, Gordon writes to the NRM). They do call each other semi frequently when time allows. And they also meet at Vicarstown/Barrow more often than not! With Scotsman practically traveling all over England on the regular, he surely visits Sodor a couple of times a year, at minimum.

- Gordon may have a lot of attitude, but I think at least part of that is due to him covering up his realization of just how lucky he is. He is only one of 2 surviving class members. Not only that, but he is a prototype. Prototypes of anything don’t last very long. The fact that he is still alive at all, let alone still in active service, is something that really makes him panic sometimes.

- Piggybacking off of that, the other surviving Gresleys really look up to Gordon (to some degree) as one of the greatest examples of their designer’s genius. Almost as much as Mallard or Scotsman in some cases!

- Gordon still hates being called a Galloping Sausage. Which is exactly why Scotsman insists on calling him that. The only way Gordon can get his younger brother to shut up is to remind him that, since they’re the same class, it means that Scott is one too.

- Gordon has absolutely been to the National Railway Museum at least once. He got put between Mallard and Scotsman while he was there. The three ended up varying between smug bragging and arguments. The rest of the engines in the Great Hall absolutely refused to even entertain the idea of Gordon returning to the NRM unless they were split up in some way.

- Gordon and Henry have a very...interesting relationship. Gordon considers Henry a “quarter brother,” since Henry was half A1 before his big rebuild. However, the two don’t really consider themselves to be related and Gordon only uses that term privately (at Henry’s request). The two have explained their connection to Scotsman, however, and Henry will often take Scotsman’s side in teasing Gordon.

Also, as a bonus:

The Case for The Great Race

If I had to pick a special to base around Gordon, I think it should have been The Great Race. (Quick note to say I haven’t seen it, but I have read the description on the Wiki) I know this is probably the easier route to take, but hear me out.

Honestly, this whole thing could have worked wonders if Thomas went along as he wanted to and most of the focus was put on Gordon. Within the first few minutes, we’re already introduced to his brother! Throughout the whole thing, we see Gordon struggle a lot with jealousy and a drive to prove not only himself, but his entire railway to his only brother. And not only is Scotsman there, but Spencer is there as well. You know, Spencer, the brother to the fastest steam engine in the world? Yeah, him.

The odds are already stacked up against Gordon in this race and that’s even before we get into the fact that he is missing his safety valve. The one thing that is keeping his boiler from exploding. He ignores every single warning sign, even Scotsman calling out to him. Gordon could have very well DIED in this special. Honestly, the stakes there, in my opinion, were some of the highest I’ve ever seen Gordon face.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the original idea was to make this centered around Gordon, but corporate or someone swooped in and insisted Thomas had to be the star. (They were probably the same people that wanted it to be a musical, but that’s neither here nor there) Point is, there was far more potential for this to be a Gordon featured special than a Thomas featured special.

#gordon appreciation week #ttte gordon #in this house we love and appreciate gordon

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dangermousie · 3 years

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They are in the middle of a serious discussion, but I am sorry, Wushe can distinguish between all the scents and their various mixes? If he ever gives up the whole Demon Lord thing and Bian (who apparently made differently scented sachets for every occasion even as a prince) does take him back, he and Bian can open that universe’s most flourishing perfume and sachet business. Happy ending, let’s go!

In many ways, Wushe has the straightforwardness and immediacy of a child (even if his desires are not at all childish), probably in large part because his time in hell stripped him down to essentials.

BUT! The thing that I find even more interesting is the role reversal - this whole conversation shows (and I love that the author does show rather than tell) that Bian is no longer scared of Wushe in the least (thanks, Infernal Hell!) and he’s the one in charge as well - calmly pushing for Wushe to give up the tally because it warps him. And Wushe not being willing because of self-protection but also because he uses power as a crutch. And Bian calmly laying things out as to what he should do and why he should do it.

Seriously! I love it. Bian is so sane. I love that they have reverted to dage/didi and shixiong/shidi for real. By that I mean that Bian is acting as an older brother (whether family or martial) and that hasn’t really been the case since Zixiao came back as Demon Lord. Because this is the first time there is a level playing field (Zixiao is not possessed, Bian isn’t lacking memory while Wushe has his etc) and so natural order restores itself. And honestly, it needs to. Because Wushe is the most powerful human in the world in terms of cultivation/magic/etc but Bian is the sanity and the moral compass and the latter should be in charge of the former.

Oh my GOD!!!! That is why I love Bian - whether as Ziheng OR Bian, memories present or not, the one thing that he always keeps is his uncompromising attitude about what’s right. I mean, the moral conviction, the lack of compromise, the BALLS it takes for him to say to Wushe’s “but if I don’t have my talismans, they will come for revenge” that “well, then you’ve earned it.”

GOD

Bian! I love you. I love that horrible things happened to him in two lifetimes but he’s not weak nor a pushover nor saintly nor forgiving. What he is, is principled and just and nothing can shake it. Even at his lowest, when Zixiao kept him as some sort of horrifying sex slave near the end of life 1, the only thing he could get and could bend to his control was his body’s instinctive reactions, he could never bend his mind one inch.

You know, I really really get Wushe’s obsession - it’s not just that he imprinted on Bian from childhood or fixated on him in past life for a variety of love x hate reasons, each feeding the other feeling, or that it was his tether to sanity in hell. It’s also that while Wushe himself lacks a moral center (and always has), there is something so mesmerizing about that moral certainty, that refusal to compromise on your view of what is right. Bian takes all the horrors the Universe throws at him and refuses to compromise at all. (And this in full light of knowing there is no heavenly reward. He is positively Stoic in believing virtue is its own reward.) And not only does Wushe remember what it felt like to be loved utterly and be surrounded by nonstop consideration and care and yearn for it again, there must be a little of him that craves Bian’s love as a seal of approval of sorts - to get the world’s most righteous man to love you is something.

Oh, and also I love that he doesn’t just want Wushe to bury the tally, he wants him to give the map back to Bian. Seriously. I love how they keep talking and Bian keeps gently but unceasingly pushing, both for the sake of the world and Wushe’s own sake, and Wushe doesn’t want to but you see him give in step by step.

!!!!!!!!

I AM SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING!!!!!!

Wushe is willing to be weak and vulnerable and target n1 for the whole world as long as he has Bian (even if not in romantic capacity) and Bian plain text tells him he wants to never see him again and that he can’t forgive him (and doesn’t want ANY relationship with him, whether familial or romantic.) Talk about Bian wanting Wushe to live the “be good for its own sake” thing.

But honestly, I am mildly in awe of the author. How many novels with a yandere ML are out there (in both het and danmei) - so many! And most often things magically resolve themselves. ML grovels a little and MC forgives. Or it turns out to be a misunderstanding and they both go “oh fine.” Or there is a plot twist as to why it’s OK, or MC remembers his/her past romantic feelings and is swayed. Or there is one fight and then they are back to together.

Not here! Thee are no easy outs. None. Just as I was impressed by the fact that the author never ever made Ziheng in life 1 feel anything romantic for Zixiao ever. Not when they were siblings, not when they found out they were not related, and not when Zixiao returned as demon lord and there were epic amounts of noncon. Ziheng by turns loved him as a brother and feared/hated/his body had an involuntary physical reaction to him but there was never ever a hint he viewed him in a romantic light. And I was so impressed. (Which is why their happy and gentle and consensual relationship in life 2, when Bian had no idea about their past lives or even that Wushe = Zixiao, is so crucial. Otherwise he’d never have connected his unbrother and romantic relationships, let alone had any takes on sex as something that can be tender and loving and something he wants more of.)

But I am even more impressed with how the story went once Bian recovered his memories/Wushe found out the truth. There are no shortcuts. There is no easy forgiveness. Nothing can erase the fact that Zixiao took his brother apart emotionally and mentally. Not learning that he was warped by the tally and wasn’t himself, not seeing firsthand the torture he underwent for a century, nor seeing his remorse and how devoted he is now. That can earn a cessation of hatred and a certain weary understanding (and even that took a long gradual time), but it cannot earn forgiveness and love. Or at least not right away - I am sure they will eventually end there but I love love love how grindingly slow and gradual and incremental it is.

And I love how blunt Bian is being. And not to lash out but because that is what he genuinely feels (something Wushe can tell.)

Oh, Wushe. You after all dug your own grave, so you will have to lie in it for a long time.

Awwwwwww!

Also, talk about growth - Wushe will obviously be trying to get Bian until he dies (and after that, if he can) but not are there no threats or emotional blackmail or anger or anything - both because he knows the truth that he’s in the wrong but also because I think the time in infernal hell with a little memory trip and Bian coming through for him was super cathartic for him.

And Bian is still reluctant even about even this little and I swear, it gives me so much life!

Awwwww. Now this kind of wooing I can be good with. Now that Bian is not in the least afraid of Wushe, instinctively or not, now that he’s in charge and holding the leash, and all Wushe wants is to basically woo him back and everything is out in the open? Mmmm. I like. Mainly because I don’t feel like it would be unearned or not between equals now.

#cnovel #wu chang jie

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