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nczennie · 1 year

Text

why won't you love me.

Pairing: Reader x Jaehyun AU: Exes! but it's complicated Genre: Angst, Smut (18+ only) Preview: You shake your head at him before speaking, voice coming out as a quiet whisper, eyes watering as you look at him, "Why won't you love me?"Jaehyun abruptly stands from his seat, slamming his hand against the counter which makes you jump, "Don't!", he's nearly yelling, "Just stop, why would you-how dare you even say that to me!" Words: 5.9k *Warnings under cut

Warnings: Toxic relationship, reader is very lonely and uses sex to cope, mentions of food and eating, mentions of having children, cussing, Smut scenes (oral m. receiving, throat fucking, protected penetrative sex, fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, talk of breeding).

You let out a shaky breath as you set down your glass of wine, staring at the white envelope in front of you. To be fair, you knew it was coming, but that didn't make opening it any easier for you. That's why you were currently on your second glass still working up the courage to look at it's contents. Finally chugging down the last sip, you set your determined gaze on the paper, taking it in your hands. You tear it open carefully, as to not rip it too badly, before taking the small card out. Save the Date it reads in large gold font. You swallow thickly as you take in the appearance of the card, the wedding date set for 9 months from now, and the beautiful picture of Irene, one of your best friends, smiling brightly next to her financé.

Running your hands over the card, you recall getting all the others like this. Joy's, just after college, followed by Wendy and Seulgi some years later. You never really worried until last year when even the youngest of your friend group, Yeri, announced her wedding. And now Irene, the Irene who spent years swearing marriage wasn't for her and wouldn't be in her future, yet you held her announcement in your hands.

You don't even notice you're crying until the tears drop onto the table. Groaning in frustration at your emotions, you move to the kitchen to grab a box of tissues and another bottle of wine. It's hard, to feel like your life is passing by and you're stuck in one place, especially when everyone around you is moving past you as well. You never thought you were one to care about getting married, brushing off the concept of it especially when you first graduated college. But now you find yourself here all these years later, sitting alone in your apartment, no partner, no pet, no nothing whereas your friends were all getting married, buying houses, even Joy caring for her children. You sniffle as your open you second bottle of wine, pouring another glass and trying to think of all of the events of your life that may have led to this moment.

Jaehyun groans as he reaches to turn off his alarm clock. He's been working at his office job for years yet waking up this early is something he has never gotten used to. He takes his time getting out of the warmth of his sheets and makes his way to the bathroom, stopping along the way to grab his phone he left charging on his dresser. Picking it up, he feels confused and a bit worried when he finds there was three missed calls from you at 2:00am. He swallows as he moves to his messages, noticing you texted him merely an hour ago.

I miss you. It reads and he stares at it wondering if you had woken up early or if you stayed awake all night apparently calling and missing him. He lets out a groan, running a hand over his face before moving to reply to you. Dinner tonight at mine? 7pm. He clicks send before throwing his phone on the bed, moving to shower where he can question and regret his decision to invite you over once again.

You and Jaehyun met when you were early on in university. One of the many parties hosted by your mutual friends, you notice him standing alone in the kitchen and you're so taken aback by how handsome he was that you make your way over to him without much thought. Only a couple of months later and he was your boyfriend. To this day he was the best boyfriend you've ever had, the most caring, attentive, supportive man you've ever met. The two of you dated for 4 years, by far your longest relationship. It dwindled apart in the end because of the reality of life after college. Entering the real world gave insight to the differences in views you both had. Jaehyun wanted to take it slow, travel before eventually settling down but you were opposite. You grew up different than Jaehyun, where his parents both had successful jobs, your single mom worked two jobs just to feed you both. Whereas Jaehyun wanted to spend money traveling and relaxing straight after graduation, you knew that reality couldn't include you. You had loans and bills to pay that would require you to start working right away.

This reality is what led to the downfall of your relationship. There was no fighting or arguing, just the sad realization that the end had come. You accepted it quickly, you loved Jaehyun, truly, but you had come to terms with the fact that he would not be apart of your future.

Except that he was. The thing about having mutual friends is that you can't get rid of each other. Every birthday, celebration, holiday, gettogether, you would see each other. It was slightly awkward at first but once you both got used to the fact you would constantly be in each other's life, it was as if you were friends again. It was only a couple years ago that you both started to sleep with each other again. It was a messy night, at a summer bbq where Joy announced to everyone she was pregnant. Everyone celebrated with loads of drinks, minus the mother-to-be, and you even went a step further to celebrate by going home with your ex boyfriend.

You never mentioned it to anyone, keeping it your secret. Even as sleeping with him becomes more regular. You wouldn't compare your situation to that of a friends with benefits, it wasn't that often and you only saw each other during friends gatherings or the rare event you did go by his house. Even pursuing relationships with others but even when they failed, Jaehyun was always there as if you could rely on him to wait for you just in case.

The thing with Jaehyun is that he is comfortable and familiar. You had loved him so much during your time together that even having him now gives you a glimpse at the past. The past where you were loved, where you weren't so lonely.

"Are those snowdrops?", you smile as you take off your coat, taking in the small potted flowers that rest on the table near the entryway. Jaehyun hums, locking the door behind you before turning to take in the flowers as well, "Yeah, they were a gift for my anniversary at the office". He chuckles a bit before walking further into the apartment, rolling up the sleeves of his collared white shirt, clearly not having changed since coming home from work. You follow him into the kitchen, taking in the two plates of food set and ready on the island. Jaehyun moves to grab a couple of wine glasses, bringing them to the counter to pour a glass for you both. "I hope you don't mind pasta," he says, concentrated on serving. "Not at all, it looks delicious". He nods his head back towards the fridge behind him, "Do you mind grabbing the parmesan?" Moving to the fridge you freeze for a moment when you see Irene's announcement held to the fridge with a magnet. You gulp, opening the door and getting the cheese, "You got Irene's save the date too?"

He looks at you as he moves to sit, "Yeah, crazy right? Who would've thought she would be settling down." You take your seat beside him, humming in agreement. You both make small talk while you enjoy the food, talking about work, asking about each other families, catching up as you had not been alone with him in months. "So," he speaks, leaning back while using a napkin to clean his face. "Getting drunk on a weeknight huh? What's up with that?" You grimace, playing around with the leftover food on your plate, "Yeah, yeah. You don't need to make me feel more pathetic than I already do". He chuckles, "What? I just meant it's unlike you. Did something happen?"

No, you want to say, nothing as happened. Nothing at all, while everyone around you has something going on, you have nothing. "Was just having a rough day," You murmur instead, eyes automatically moving to the announcement on the fridge in front of you. You can see out of the corner of your eyes he turns to look at the paper too, so you make an excuse before he can bring it up, "Excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom". You make your way down the hallway and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you with a shaky breath. You wash your hands, staring at yourself in the mirror with annoyance, you came here to forget the feeling that overwhelmed you last night, not relive it all over again.

With a deep breath you make your way back in the kitchen, seeing Jaehyun standing over the sink washing his hands after clearing the dishes. You step forward with a purpose, coming up behind him and wrapping your hands around his waist. He jumps a little, but move to turn the water off, drying his hands before turning to face you, leaning back against the counter as you trap him against it. "You alright?" he asks softly and you give him the best smile you could, nodding before reaching up to put your hands around his neck. You play with the hair on the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you, "Just want you," you mutter. "Are you sure?" he asks, and you nod without a second thought, "Positive".

He studies you for a moment before giving in, leaning forward to capture your lips with his own. His hands finally moving to hold you waist as you deepen the kiss, your tongue working its way into his mouth. You enjoy the feeling of his lips for some time longer before realizing you were still able to think. You didn't want to think, you only wanted to forget. You break your lips from his, moving to press slow lingering kisses against his jaw before moving to his neck. You know Jaehyun like the back of your hand so you move automatically to the spot just below his ear. Your teeth graze the spot lightly before you run your tongue over it, earning a quiet grown from the man. "Don't leave any marks," he mumbles and you have to agree no matter how tempting it was. You both are adults now and having hickies was no longer the same as when you were in college.

You let your lips wander along his neck a little longer before you drop to your knees in front of him, hands coming to undo his dress slacks. "Here?" he asks you, uncertain of getting a blowjob next to the sink. You pause, already taking in the ache of your knees from the hard tile. "Okay, maybe we can move to your bedroom". You both chuckle as he helps you up and walks you to his room. He takes matters into his own hands, removing his pants and underwear before sitting on the edge of the bed, hands coming up to unbutton his shirt as you move to your knees in front of him. You take him into your hand, he was only slightly hard from your kitchen escapades so you take your time running your hand over him to help him grow.

You look up at him as he finishes removing his shirt, tossing it on the bed behind him before he looks down to you. Upon having his attention solely on you, you meet his eyes moving your mouth downwards. Letting your tongue run over the head of his cock, your mouth comes to close over it as you hum around him. Your hand still works to get him as hard as possible and Jaehyun's own hand comes to tangle in your hair, soft sounds leaving his lips as you begin to take him further into the warmth of your mouth. Working steadily, you make yourself comfortable taking in as much of his length as you can without completely choking. It's easier when you hear the words of encouragement he gives you, taking the final push and lodging all of him in your throat as the shaky exhales of your nose hits against his pelvis. After sleeping with Jaehyun for years now, you know this is what he likes. His cock stuffing your mouth for as long as possible, so you did your best even now to appease him. Not long after your eyes begin to water and you close them in an attempt to focus on your breathing and ignore the sputtering of your throat around him.

"Look at me," he says gruffly, hand grasping your hair harshly to get your attention. Your scalp stings but you open your eyes nonetheless, barely seeing Jaehyun through your tears. He moans though, "That's my good girl," before moving your head off of him to finally catch your breath. You take deep breaths while you can, your hand moving once again over him, easier now that it's covered with your spit. Jaehyun uses his grip on your hair to make you face him, hurridley kissing you before running his tongue over yours. "Are you gunna let me fuck your throat?" he whispers against your lips and you whine in reply, nodding your head as best you could with his grip still tight in your hair.

Jaehyun stands from the bed, removing your hand from his cock and replacing it with his own. He jerks it a few times and he repositions you, your hands coming to grasp the back of his thighs to hold yourself steady and to tell him when you've had enough if need be. "There you go," He mutters out from above you as your eagarily take him into your mouth once again. His movements start off slow, getting you used to the intrusion again before he picks up his pace, head of his cock repeatedly hitting the back of your throat.

You close your eyes and focus on the feeling. Hearing Jaehyun's moan's above you, you welcome the stinging and lightness of your brain as you love the feeling of him using you. Of being useful for someone.

He finally pulls out, just barely, causing his cock to rest on your cheek as you turn to catch your breath. Jaehyun releases your hair, hand running over your head to sooth you. He kneels to match your height, moving to kiss you again now that your breathing was less erratic. "I want you to fuck me," You say almost breathlessly. He hums against your lips, helping you up so you both can move atop his bed. He lays you back against his pillows, still hungrily kissing you, hands running down your thighs, but you move to grasp them. "I want you now," you state. He pauses looking at your eyes, "Just like this?" He asks, not used to not preparing you beforehand. You nod, giving him a smile of encouragement, "Wanna feel you now," you say moving to kiss him. He enjoys your kisses for another moment before moving to grab a condom from his nightstand.

You watch in silence as he puts it on himself, your hand moving downwards to slightly rub against your slit as you take him in. You're craving the stretch of him, the burn much like before that lingers in your throat and was so good that it made you forget how to think.

"You sure?" He asks once again as he settles over you, left arm settled on the bed beside you as his right hand takes a hold of his cock as he moves it along your folds. "Positive", you say already breathless from anticipation. Jaehyun pushes inside of you, moving as slow as possible but you encourage him to fill you up completely. Your eyes roll back into your head at the feeling of his cock stretching you, your hands coming to grasp onto his shoulders. Jaehyun's breath deepens as he groans, moving forwards to place kisses along your jaw. He stills once he's in you fully, but you shake your head slightly, "Keep going,". His face stays put near your neck but his hips begin to move slowly, drawing a moan out of you.

You let yourself drown in the pleasure of Jaehyun that night. You hold him close to you the whole time, your chests presses together and he fucks you into his bed. Your arms around his back so you can feel him completely, so you can feel him everywhere. Even as you both cum you grip tightly onto him as your body trembles.

When you finally do release him from your arms, he moves to clean you up, pressing kisses into your forehead. Once you can move, you excuse yourself to the bathroom where you clean up even more and try to hide the fact that you're crying. You feel slightly better so you move to join him in his bed once again, tucking yourself under the blankets as you rest on your back. You close your eyes and take a deep breath but you can sense Jaehyun is looking at you. "You okay?" he finally breaks the silence. Perhaps he heard you in the bathroom, or maybe the redness around your eyes gave it away. Or maybe, he felt your desperation as you held him closely to you that night.

You lay silently for awhile before you answer him, "It's so hard to be lonely".

Jaehyun clearly remembers the party that took place early on in his University days. He was having a bad day, having just got a failing grade on a test so he mostly stuck to himself in the kitchen. He was surprised when you approached him, at first not really in the mood to make conversation but you were persistent and eventually he brightened.

He didn't know at the time how much he would come to love you. Only months later he had spent time making a playlist perfect for you before presenting it to you over your favorite meal and asking you to officially be his girlfriend. He still thinks those were the best 4 years of his life. You two were perfect for each other, loving and supportive, always there for one another. Jaehyun loved you with everything he was so when you both finally graduated he wasn't nervous, but excited about what was to come for your relationship.

He knew he has always been a dreamer whereas you were more set thinking about the present reality. That's why you were already applying to jobs before you graduated when he was planning up destinations he wanted to visit with you. Jaehyun realized it was really over for you both when he couldn't convince you to travel with him. Your whole friend group planned 2 weeks going across Europe to celebrate but you had already accepted a job. He tried his hardest to convince you to come along, traveling would be good for you, having just finished with a stressful degree you deserve some time off. But you refused, already stressed about the expenses of being an adult. He couldn't fault you, knowing the reality of money as a new graduate was daunting, but he truly hoped to spend some more time with you before entering the real world himself. It hurt more than anything to let you go. Jaehyun was a dreamer. In the years that you spent together, Jaehyun only dreamt of countless more. He dreamt of a big wedding, a small cozy house, a daughter that looked just like you. These were the things Jaehyun wanted more than anything. So it pained him to realize you might not be apart of his future at all. Except that you were. It hurt to let you go, but having to continuously see you afterwards may have hurt him even more. He knew it would be inevitable since your circles are intertwined, but having to see you when he was still painfully in love with you was harder than he thought it would be.

He still tried though, traveling when he could, working hard at his job, testing the waters with new people. Then came the fateful bbq where he had somehow let you convince him to go home with you. It was easy honestly, he loved you so much there wasn't much he wouldn't do for you. But when he let it slip to a couple of his closest friends that you were casually sleeping together from time to time, they gave him worried looks. They warned him it wasn't the best idea when he clearly loved you but you were no longer on the same page. They told him it would only hurt him in the end. And it does, it does hurt him every time you reach out and he knows he's just some kind of last resort, only when you're feeling extra lonely.

But the thing with you is that you're comfortable and familiar. Though you're both grown, you're still that girl he fell in love with in University. The one he dreamed of marrying and having kids with. Jaehyun is a dreamer and he dreams that there is still a reality where this future will come true. That he will continue to answer your calls until you're his again because he still loves you the same way he did when you were together.

It was a hot Spring day and Irene's backyard was crowded with her friends. Now that the weather was better she and her fiancé are throwing a small party to celebrate their engagement. Jaehyun stood under the porch, seeking shelter from the burning sun, the cold beer bottle in his hand helping to keep him cool. He stares at you across the way, legs dipped in the pool as you sit besides Joy, holding her daughter in your lap.

His heart aches in moments like these, wishing more than anything that you both were married yourselves and you had a daughter of your own to look after. He takes a longer swig of his drink when he notices Johnny come up beside him. He ignores his friend in favor of his small daughter he was holding, cheeks rosy from the heat and large smile on her face as she sees her favorite uncle. "Hi, baby," he coos to her automatically handing Johnny his drink so he can take the baby into his own arms. He hoists her above his head as she giggles, bringing her back down to place a kiss on her red cheek before settling her safely on his hip.

"Whatcha doing over here all on your own?" Johnny asks as he grabs a drink for himself from the ice chest. Jaehyun hums, attention still mostly on the baby, "Just trying to stay cool". Johnny takes a sip from his drink, "That's good, I thought you were pining over your ex girlfriend for a second". Jaehyun sends his friend a glare before rolling his eyes. "You seeing her again?" he asks and Jaehyun clears his throat, never one to lie to his friends. "Yeah". "Seeing each other or sleeping with each other?" He asks again and Jaehyun huffs, "It doesn't matter. But we've been seeing each other more than usual".

Johnny stomach turns at the hopefulness in Jaehyun's voice, he sighs, "You can't keep doing this yourself Jaehyun". But Jaehyun only starts to tickle the baby's stomach, smiling at her small laughter. "I'm not doing anything". He says plainly, and now Johnny rolls his eyes. "You're holding on to an old relationship when you need to move on. It's not fair she treats you like this, stringing you along only when she wants to have a good time. You don't deserve that, you deserve to move on and find proper, healthy relationship".

Jaehyun doesn't expect Johnny to say such things on a afternoon surrounded by their friends but it sends cold feeling through him. He merely turns to the baby to place a kiss on her soft hair, "Okay Snowdrop, go back with your daddy for now, Uncle Jae has to use the bathroom". He slips Johnny back his daughter before silently heading inside. It hurts to hear those words from his friend, but he thinks it hurts worse because he knows he's right.

Johnny's words stuck with Jaehyun throughout the rest of the week. He was used to these warnings, usually brushing them off to keep his hope for you, but there was something different about this time around. He's already seen you a couple times since Irene's party. In the past this would delight him, give him something to hold onto, but he knows the reality of your situation now. He noticed the way you looked at that announcement that night, the fact that your best friend was getting married is what drove you to him. He hadn't been naive in the past, knowing you only came to him because you were lonely, but for some reason it feels much worse now.

Instead of a hookup call every couple of months, you've been in constant contact with him since you had got drunk and called him. Jaehyun stomach turns when he figures you might be wanting more that just a hookup. You should be happy, he tells himself, this is what you always wanted, get her back. But for once his rational side is stronger realizing the timing of it all, you truly don't want him, you just don't want to be alone.

You were over for dinner once again but Jaehyun was on edge the whole time. The conversation was light and he seemed dazed. "Are you alright?" You ask him as you load the dishwasher for him, sparing him a glance as he twirls the wine around in his glass. He hums sending a nod, looking up at you as you dry your hand on a towel. You send him a small smile, "So I was thinking, my work trip next month is at some fancy resort just outside the city. It's all inclusive, spa, pool, amazing restaurants. And I can have a plus one".

Jaehyun closes his eyes and huffs, "Don't start this shit". He looks at you in time to see your shocked expression, "Excuse me?" you let you, moving to grab the counter. "Don't start acting like we're together," he says your name firmly, "We haven't been together in years. You haven't wanted me in years, don't start acting like you do now". He chugs down the rest of his drink. He can see from your face you're hurt, but he doesn't understand how you could be. You seem to gather yourself before speaking again, "That was the past, Jaehyun. This is now, I thought you knew when I reached out it was for something more. I told you I missed you". He rolls his eyes, thankful he was able to be strong. Perhaps if Johnny hadn't said those words to him this past weekend he would've already agreed to your trip, moving to look at this fancy hotel online, enjoying you before you decided you weren't lonely enough to resort to him anymore.

He says your name softly, "I know that's not true. You don't miss me, you miss having someone to have around". You avert your gaze, maybe ashamed he called you out. "I'm tired of this, I'm tired of being your fucking backup plan". You shake your head at him before speaking, voice coming out as a quiet whisper, eyes watering as you look at him, "Why won't you love me?"

Jaehyun abruptly stands from his seat, slamming his hand against the counter which makes you jump, "Don't!", he's nearly yelling, "Just stop, why would you-how dare you even say that to me!" A couple of tears have made their way down your face but Jaehyun only sees red, "You have no right to say that to me, not when I'm the only one who has shown love in all the years we've known each other". He can tell from your face the sadness is leaving your body as you become angry, "That is not true!" "Since we broke up-" he states but you cut him off, "You don't know anything about how I feel, how I felt for you all this time".

Jaehyun knows it was wrong of him to claim you didn't love him all the years you were together, you were nothing but a loving and caring girlfriend. But the anger get the best of him, especially knowing you haven't truly loved him in years. At least, not the same love he felt for you.

He takes deep breaths, trying to stop himself from speaking anymore. Not wanting to say anything worse while he's so angry, he merely watches as you stand across from him looking sad. Looking sad and beautiful and like his girlfriend he fell in love with.

Anger clouds Jaehyun's head, or possibly his love for you. He takes two steps to reach you before grabbing your face in his hands, pausing for a moment to see if you pull away from him. When you don't, he slams his lips against yours. You kiss him back, both of you sharing your frustrations through your lips. You move to grab onto his shirt to pull him closer to you, his hips slamming against yours, your back pushing almost painfully into the counter. Jaehyun roughly bites on your lips, causing you to whimper but he uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. You both kiss rushed and messily, hands running along each other's bodies as if you were in a hurry.

Jaehyun uses his knee to push between your legs, making you spread your legs wider. One of his hands makes its way down your body, stopping to grab your thigh roughly before his fingers soothingly run up under your dress, reaching to touch you through your panties. You groan into his mouth as he pushes against your clit, running up and down the cloth a few times before he decides it was enough.

He slips the material to the side to access your wetness, fingers touching you as his tongue still roams your mouth eagerly. He pushes his middle finger into your hole, knowing you were ready for him, yet the tightness he feels still causes a groan to leave his mouth. Jaehyun works a second finger into you, both of them moving against your walls quickly but still hitting all the right spots. Your mouth falls open as you grip his forearm, he can feel your nails digging into his arm and it only urges him to go faster. He moves his mouth to messily kiss along your jaw and down your neck, roughly biting into the soft skin every now and again. "Please, Jaehyun," you call out in a mixture of a whine and a moan causing his heart to pound firmly against his chest.

"C'mon, baby," he huskily says into your ear. His fingers are moving faster and he curls them in order to make your feel the best, his palm just at the right angle to rub against you. "There you go, cum for me" he says as he feels you tightening around him, your head thrown back in pleasure. He slows his pace but keeps moving his fingers inside of you, watching your face until your eyebrows furrow and attempt to stop his hand from moving. He pulls his fingers out, resting them on your thigh before he moves his mouth over to kiss you again. His lips are much slower against your own now. The two of you continue to kiss with this pace, just slow, almost passionate as you move against each other. In the end he can't hold out any longer, so he moves to undo his pants, taking his hard cock out of its confines.

He rubs himself in his hand a few times, the logical part of his brain reminding him he should be smart and run to the bedroom to get a condom really quick. But his brain is still clouded and not using a condom only tempted him. You don't move to object either as he lifts one of your legs up over his hip, pulling your panties to the side once again, before lining up his cock with your entrance. He rubs his tip against you, looking into your eyes to see if you want him to stop, breathing heavily when you merely nod your head to get him to continue. At your encouragement he slowly pushed himself inside of you, both of you emitting sounds of pleasure at the intrusion.

Jaehyun goes back to kissing you as he waits for your to be comfortable around him, enjoying the feeling of your hand running up his arm. When he finally moves it seems like he can't stop, his thrusts becoming faster as he feels your warmth around him without a barrier.

His mind only becomes more clouded as he has you like this, nothing in between you both. He can see your wetness coating his bare cock as he glances down to see where you meet. "Looks so good," he grumbles, "Feels even better". He says it quietly as if he isn't sure if he's telling you or himself. He picks up the pace, hand gripping your thigh tighter, "Can't believe you're letting me fuck you raw like this, huh,". He pushes his forehead against your own but you can barely keep your eyes open at the pleasure.

"Maybe I should fuck a baby into you, what do you think?" He mumbles against your lips and you whine his name in return. Jaehyun knows he shouldn't be saying stuff like this, especially now after fighting over your so-called relationship. Not when it's such a touchy subject for you both. But his head is so filled with desire, desire for you, desire for something more in life with you, that these things are slipping freely past his lips.

"Mm, that's right. Let me cum inside you, baby. I'll fill you up so nicely". His mouth is lose at this point, words tumbling off his lips he knows he will regret later. "Please, Jaehyun," you moan back to him, "Please cum inside". "Shit," he curses as you encourage him, hips knocking into yours as he reaches his end. Spilling his warmth deep inside of you, he feels amazing now, ears ringing and hands roaming your body. He kisses you before he can think too much, before he comes to his senses and realize what he has done. For now he will just bask in the afterglow.

The both of you are now settled onto his couch. A large blanket covers the two of you as you have cleaned up and now lay watching a random movie he found on t.v. You're head is against his chest as he plays with your hair and you feel so tired. Physically and mentally. Tired of holding onto Jaehyun and relying on him as your only source of comfort. He doesn't deserve that and frankly neither do you. Yet neither of you can seem to stop.

"Why do we keep holding onto each other?" you whisper out to him, breaking the long silence between you both.

"You hold onto me because I make you feel less lonely," he speaks back, hand roaming down your arm to play with your fingers, "And I hold onto you because I'm in love with you".

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nczennie · 1 year

Text

A short drabble in which we see how the pairing from Why Won't You Love Me end up in the future.

Featuring: Reader & Jaehyun Genre: Fluff Words: 1.5k a/n: I know not everyone will be happy with the ending, but this is how I knew their future would be since I first starting writing. *warnings under cut

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, being pregnant, kids, food

You sigh in relief as you step inside the cool café, the aircon providing instant change in temperature. It was Spring, and although it wasn't necessarily the hottest you recently found yourself more prone to getting overheated so you've been sticking staying inside or wearing flowy dresses.

Placing a hand on your large, growing stomach, your run your fingers along your baby bump. A habit you picked up on since you popped. "It's crazy," you speak, "I haven't been here in years". You talk out loud to the man who follows behind you. "Does it look the same?" he asks, taking in the small place. It was early afternoon on a weekday, and having just missed the lunch rush, the place was nearly empty. You nod, taking in the decor, "It's like I never left".

"I'm going to use the restroom really quick, why don't you find a place for us to sit down". You smile, nodding at him. He leans over to kiss your cheek before making his way to the bathroom. You turn to walk towards a table near the window when you hear someone call your name. You stop your movement, turning to look and when you see who's calling you, you feel your mouth drop.

"Jaehyun?"

You ask as he approaches you. He smiles as he steps closer realizing it really was you at this café back in the city. You smile at him as he reaches you, "Wow," he states looking over you in wonder, "Look at you".

It had been years since you last saw your ex boyfriend, Jaehyun. After having an amazing relationship in university and a not so amazing relationship the years following, it left you both in a difficult place. It was hard, but you both eventually knew you were not good for each other. You didn't stop seeing each other right away, but you did try to phase him out, at least sleeping with him. And then you moved away. You got offered a job in another city and though it had been hard to leave all your friends behind, they knew it would be an amazing experience for you. And they were right, as you haven't returned in years. Except for now as you stand in your old favorite café, seven months pregnant.

Your cheeks redden as Jaehyun takes in your pregnant figure. It feels strange, at one point you both thought you were going to be at this stage in life together, yet now you felt like strangers. "You look incredible, congratulations." You beam at him, holding your stomach, "Thank you. It's getting harder to walk, but I'm so happy". His eyes look at you in adoration as he returns your smile, "And your husband? Is he here?" Jaehyun asks looking around. "Boyfriend," you correct him, "But yes he's in the bathroom. He's not from here so I had to make sure to show him the place". Jaehyun chuckles as he recalls your love for the treats here. "And how is he?"

You nod, "He's everything, honestly. I love him and I know he is the one I want to spend my life with". You thought you would feel guilty explaining this to your ex boyfriend but you don't. You feel like you're catching up with a friend. And Jaehyun doesn't seem bothered either. "Good, I'm happy you are getting the life you deserve". Maybe it's the hormones, but you feel emotional, "Thank you," you whisper out. "And are you back here for good?" he continues and you clear your throat, "For now at least. I wanted my son to be born here".

Jaehyun's eyes travel down to your stomach, "A boy, huh?". You hum, "Yep, didn't ever picture me with a son did you?" You laugh and so does he. It's true, when Jaehyun pictured his life with you, he only pictured you carrying his daughter. Jaehyun laughs along with you before he huffs out in surprise, looking down to see someone who had run up to hug his leg. "Hey, bud, you surprised me".

You watch as he bends down to pick up a small boy, hoisting him in his arms with a huff. "Well I'd like you to meet my son," He smiles proudly. Looking in awe at the toddler, you smile, "He looks just like you Jaehyun,". He laughs ruffling the boys hair, "Right? My mom can't get over it either". "I got all our stuff," Your eyes wander to a woman who comes to stand besides Jaehyun, showing a takeout bag in her hand. Jaehyun and his son both give her a smile before he speaks up, "This is my girlfriend," he introduces you both. Excitedly, you move to shake her hand as she congratulates you on being an expecting mother.

Smiling, you take in Jaehyun's girlfriend, the mother of his child. She looks sweet and you know she must be quite the catch if Jaehyun decided to settle down and start a family with her. "Hey," you turn your head as someone places their hand on your back, smiling when you see your boyfriend has returned. "I want you to meet someone, this is Jaehyun". You introduce them with a blush on your face, your boyfriend sporting a look of realization as he reaches to shake his hand. "It's nice to meet you Jaehyun, I've heard a lot about you".

Your boyfriend has help you heal greatly over the many years you've met him, and part of that healing was you telling him everything about Jaehyun. Jaehyun spares you a look, and you wonder if he has told his girlfriend anything about you. Probably in her eyes, you were the university girlfriend that strung him along and broke his heart.

Jaehyun introduces his family to your boyfriend and you smile as he gives his son a small high five. "Well we better get going, he's had a long day. We promised him a treat after his doctor's appointment so we stopped here before his nap". Jaehyun talks about his son in his arms and his girlfriend agrees. "I'll go ahead and get him in the car," she speaks, taking him out of Jaehyun's arms before saying goodbye to you and your boyfriend. You thank her as she wishes you a healthy pregnancy and delivery.

"It was nice to meet you," your boyfriend speaks to Jaehyun, "I'm going to get in line" he speaks to you after, giving you a knowing look and a smile before leaving you alone with your ex boyfriend.

You watch as he walks up to the counter before smiling at Jaehyun, "It's crazy that we ran into each other here". He chuckles, "I know, I think it's perfect. And I'm so glad I got to see you and how well you're doing".

"Me too, I'm glad I got to meet your family" you reply and he nods with a smile. "I have told her about you, you know". You nearly grimace, "I figured". "I told her about my girlfriend in college who I loved so dearly it was hard for my to get over. But eventually I was able to move on to a place where I could find love again and I always hoped she was able to do the same. And I'm so happy to see that that's the case". You reach out to hug Jaehyun at his words, you don't know if it's entirely appropriate but it felt necessary to you.

He squeezes you back, careful of your bump before pulling away. "Thank you Jaehyun, for everything. And I'm so sorry". He shakes his head at you, "Don't apologize. We're all good now, and I look back at our time with nothing but fondness." "I do too," you whisper back to him before he pats your shoulder. "I better get going but I'm glad to see you. I'll probably be seeing more of you soon". You chuckle knowing it's true, now that you were back in town you would be surrounded by the same friend group once more. "Goodbye, Jaehyun. I'll see you around" You smile as you watch him walk out of the café, moving to sit down at the empty table you spotted earlier.

"So," you smile as you look up at your boyfriend who approaches the table with a number for your order. "How was it? Do I need to fight for your love against the classic first love, hometown sweetheart?" You chuckle shaking your head at him, "No". "You know I thought it would be weird or awkward if I ever saw him again but I only feel relieved." You lean against your palm as your elbow rests on the table, your boyfriend moving to gather your hair behind you.

"I think I always carried around the guilt for what I did to him, but seeing now he has a family of his own who he loves just like I do, it makes me feel better". Your boyfriend hums, acknowledging your thoughts. "I just feel happy he's happy too". Your boyfriend smiles, rubbing your arm, "I'm positive he feels the same way".

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