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#yeah i cant stop making these at this point lol
lightlycareless · 2 days
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omgggg, that Toji x reader (*plus* Naoya) was incredibleee, ignore me if you want, I know you made Toji chosing to keep distance from reader and Megumi permanently BUT what if one day he ends up finally seeing Megumi, either personally or by pictures/videos 🥺 We know Megumi it's the spitted image of him, I mean, Gojo's face when he saw him for the first time said it all 😅 And also knowing his baby has the Ten Shadows technique (I cant stop thinking about how proud he was in the canon manga/anime 🥺 he always KNEW from the start Megumi was blessed/gifted, since his first breath, the fact Toji named him is not random) making the entire Zenin clan eat their shit
Heya anon!!
I'm so glad you liked it heheheheheheh a oneshot that I didn't intend to write but it just happened!! aren't we glad it did? lol
I didn't mean to ignore you, I was only focusing on other things first 😅 oof, I still have lots of request to go through, which I plan to do it slowly but surely...
Anyways, I might've not gone down that route, however... why not something angsty? I mean 😏I've had this in my mind so... yeah 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
Warnings: mentions of infidelity. Pregnancy. Naoya is, unfortunately, a prick. this is the oneshot anon is talking about. 100% read that first hehe. this is an AU from that, so the second part doesn't count??? I guess. excuse the proofreading. also I haven't written toji that much so please excuse my oocness as well ahahahahha :')
Happy reading!
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As much as the three hoped to ignore the bases of your pregnancy, behave as it didn’t rise from an adulterous act, a direct transgression to the principles of the Zen’in, and keep it a secret, it wouldn’t take long before the guilt in each other’s mind began to weight heavy on their mind, ultimately betraying them and revealing the truth to the light, excusing the angered elders to finally get rid of two birds with one stone.
“Where—Where does this accusation even come from?!” You gasp, blood turning cold at the implication—at the notion of the truth. “Do you know the gravity of such words?!”
“Better than you of the act, it seems.” Another accuses. “We were quite aware of the rumors surrounding your ill-fitting behavior, but we never believed it would actually extend to this point!”
“I—I won’t tolerate neither of you disrespecting me!” you cry. “Nor will Naoya for that matter!”
But calling for his aid would no longer prove sufficient, for Naoya, too deep in his own insecurities by that point, had come to the disheartening conclusion that this situation had gotten way out of hand for a simple diversion.
A supposed act of mercy.
He shouldn’t have let this happen in the first place, should’ve respected what you and your marriage represented, what meant to him, and discard his pity for Toji—the man has been alone most of his life, what difference would that make that now?
But he didn’t, he allowed you to go to Toji—no, he handed you over to him, thinking he was doing something right for his cousin, or perhaps something deep inside him was allured by the sick idea of you being with another man and now, he was suffering the consequences.
Consequences he did not like, not one bit—because it got too real for him: you were now pregnant, with Toji’s child, and not his.
And this only highlighted what he considered the pitfalls of this relationship, a strike against his ego and the supposed inability to beget children, a rumor that grew bigger and bigger by each passing day, spreading like wildfire to the point where even outsiders became aware of it.
Which, for a prideful man like Naoya, was only a nightmare.
He loved you, he really did—Naoya never envisioned spending the rest of his life with anyone else…
But he loved his pride more, and when his clan began to actively confront him about it, he couldn’t take it anymore.
And thus….
“…Naoya?”
“This marriage was broken before it even started.” Your husband would say, unexpected words that pierced straight to your heart. “My family advised me well in avoiding you, but I falsely believed I could achieve differently.”
“What—what are you even saying?” you breathe. “What do you mean by—by differently?”
And… where does everything you lived with him stand?
The time you spent with him, the sweet nothings he’d whisper into your ear, to love you both swore to one another, reminding each other that there was no one else that compares…
And that you were the only woman who has ever made him feel this way—loved— and would do everything in the world to make happy…
Was it… all … a lie?
All for… nothing?
Or were you the only one that actually believed the other’s words?
“I cannot look past these transgressions.” Naoya continues. “You’ve left me no choice.”
“But you—you made me do this!” you gasp. “I never—I never wanted to be with anyone else! All this time, my heart only belonged to you!  How could you—how could you abandon me after all we’ve gone through together?!”
Naoya doesn’t say anything else anymore, instead, he simply turns around, exiting the room to leave you in the hands of the vengeful elders who did not hesitate to do what they had long desired—banish you from the estate.
Swiftly yet cruelly, you wouldn’t be able to take anything with you, not even a change of clothes or even money (you didn’t even ask for much, just enough to survive the week) as you were forced to face a new life of your own—alone, pregnant.
Going back to your family was also out of the question; the shame that you’d bring upon their name was one the Zen’in didn’t not waste time to remind them of—at the end, there was only so much your father and siblings could do against the invasive ways of the elders, and perhaps, a part of them deep inside, were also disappointed that you’ve succumbed to such foul thing.
And so, you were tossed onto the street, with nothing more than the clothes you were wearing, whatever you had for savings throughout the years, managed to take it out before either clan could close your account—but most importantly, with a broken heart you believe will never heal, not after the grave wound your husband’s indifference inflicted on it.
The pain you couldn’t even mourn properly due to all the things you had to worry about now.
The first thing you did was search for a place to stay, though getting one was proving to be an almost impossible task.
Thankfully, you were allowed to keep one other thing, maybe it eluded their minds when all this was happening, but you’re not going to question why when it was going to help you pay for a roof.
Naoya’s ring, your wedding ring, was something many would consider expensive, the kind of flashiness expected from a prestigious family like the Zen’in.
You remember a time when any kind of ring would’ve been enough for you to marry him. You didn’t need anything extraordinary to commit your life and heart to him.
That’s nothing but a far cry from what you felt now.
It still hurt to pawn it, but it was the only way you could accommodate yourself and the unborn child inside you, in the only area you could afford with what you got, for even then many suspected that your ring… well, had dubious origins.
When was the last time you even had to worry about the costs of living? Food, clothes, water…?
Many years—it had to; ever since you got together with Naoya, he’s been the one that took care of you.
You just had to say the word and he’d disappear all of your worries—even from the simplest of wants, Naoya indulgingly obliged.
It was a happy life you eventually considered for your child—imagining how happy they’d grow to be without a single worry, solely focusing on what they’ll have to play that day, or how to escape their over doting parents.
A long-gone dream, tossed to the side as a nightmare quickly took its place.
Did Naoya ever mean the words I love you?
Or was he doing all this just to keep you there, complying, just in case someone better came along, just like his clan wished would happen?
There mere thought of his devotion being nothing but an act tightens your heart with sorrow once more, gifting you the tragic notion that perhaps, all this time, you never knew your husband…
Maybe ex-husband, by this point.
All that was left from those moments, the slightest semblance of that marriage was this baby, created from what you thought your unconditional devotion to him, turning out to be your very own downfall.
The only one that would know of these struggles would be your baby, the one to accompany you through the darkest point of your life, hopefully to a brigther dawn.
And yet… you’ve never felt so alone.
Time surprisingly, went quicker than you anticipated, though not as easy as you would’ve wanted.
Life in your new home was still very difficult to get used to, even when it’s been months since… that.
But with the job you managed to get (whatever place hired pregnant women—they’re supposed to be at home, some would say, you didn’t care.) and some extra jujutsu work you did on the side, you managed, enough to give you a, not exactly comfortable, but just enough lifestyle.
As long as you sacrificed all the things you once considered granted and turned them into luxuries: such as warm showers, take out, and the sweets you liked to indulge once in a while; your pregnancy has been horrible because of that, and that’s without considering the medical bills you’re struggling to pay as well.
But if that wasn’t enough, your noisy neighbors presented issues of their own as well.
You’re not going to deny that your presence there was like moths to a flame, starting from your somewhat suspicious acquisition—all cash—of the small house you were living in.
From there, your loneliness, alongside your pregnancy; single mothers were unheard of, or rather, highly criticized, thus, all eyes were on you, down to your smallest movement.
Yet, even then, as annoying as they were, you were ok as long as it meant you never get to see those that hurt you ever again.
However, what you want isn’t necessarily what’s going to happen, and that would be reminded of one fateful night with an unsuspecting knock, just after you were getting ready to go to bed.
It wouldn’t be the first time someone came to bother you, but it would be the first time someone did so at this hour, and with such insistence that far from worrying you, it made you angrily storm at the entrance, ready to demand who’d be so inconsiderate enough to visit you so late at night!
And you’d get your answer soon enough, in the most shocking, horrifying, if not sorrowful manner you could’ve possibly anticipated, prompting you to close the door as soon as you saw his face, or attempted to, his reflexes much faster than yours.
“Get—get away from me!” you shrieked, hands trembling as you did your best to hold the door shut against his overwhelming strength— but even your husband has admitted that in terms of power, he excels like no one else.
“Y/N—” he breathes, somewhat amused that you’d been able to hold him off as much as you could, though eventually he was able to break free from your grasp and enter your home, you step away from him soon after.
“What are you even doing here?!” you gasp. “No—that doesn’t matter! I don’t want to see you! I’m not going back!”
“I’m not here to take you back” He quickly responds, eyes falling down to your stomach, making his face soften at the subtle bump evident through your clothes—with this sight, he knows he can’t take you back.
“Then—then why are you here, Toji?”
Perhaps Toji needed to see through his own eyes, what the whispers went on about at the estate regarding your absence.
He wasn’t there when it happened, promised himself to be far away from you as soon as your pregnancy was announced to the estate.
Toji would’ve normally taken this opportunity to act on retribution against his family, rub it on their face that the future of the clan came from him, a low life.
But he couldn’t bring himself to do so when you cheerfully paraded around the halls, happy to finally be forming a family with your beloved husband, even though it wasn’t of his making.
For the first time in his life, he thought himself to be too cruel for having planned such atrocities against the only person that has never been rude with him, always welcoming him with a smile on your face, or at least whatever you permitted when not following Naoya around like a lost puppy.
And the baby… well, he won’t deny that he was glad that his child would have a vastly different life from his—with you as his mother, it couldn’t be any other way.
Or so he believed.
Even when promising to keep away, he still attempted to check in on you, especially now that you were pregnant, whenever he had to go to the estate that is. That day was no be no exception, begrudgingly coming back to see what else he could scam out of his family to ensure his living outside.
Toji’s slyly scanned the hallways for your figure, the briefest indication of such, either through your giggle, staff, or even his cousin’s annoying voice—there were moments where he imagined how delightful it must’ve been to have you by his side, instead of Naoya’s; to be receiver of your laughter instead of that man who clearly didn’t deserve you.
But even if it was with him, he still found comfort in the fact that you were around, there.
Not like now, gone from Naoya’s side.
In fact, you were nowhere to be seen! Not with your staff, not eating by the gardens, or even indulging in one of your husband’s idiocies.
Nothing.
And no one had seen you either.
Or more like didn’t want to say, that much became evident when he stomped his way towards a nearby staff member, demanding your whereabouts, only to be responded with a fret falsely feigning ignorance, or foolish diplomacy.
At the prospect of your disappearance, Toji felt his blood run cold, almost like the estate lost whatever little warmth it had, worsening each time he asked another servant, and he’d get the same answer.
The implications behind your absence were growing heavier in his mind, to the point it sunk his heart to his stomach…
And propelled him to the one person who would undoubtedly know where you were.
“Naoya—Where is Y/N?!” Toji commands the moment he sees the heir, the young man instinctively flinched at the sight of his angered cousin, almost as if he knew what was running through his mind and attempted to make a run for it, only to be stopped by the collar, dead on his tracks. “Do not run away, coward! Answer me!”
“She’s—she’s not here anymore.” Is what Naoya manages to squeak, but Toji doesn’t need to be reminded the obvious.
“Where. Is. She.” He hisses, the worst of his assumptions slowly becoming a reality. “What have you done to her?!”
“What—what needed to be done!” Naoya gasps. “I—I couldn’t allow it!”
Toji doesn’t remember much after Naoya told him that the clan decided she was better off on her own—only that the heir was on the floor, bloodied and whimpering while attempting to cover his face, either trying to control the throbbing of his skin, the blood from spilling anywhere else, or perhaps even shame.
No. It couldn’t be the last. To have done something like what he did required a shameless man to do so.
Nonetheless Toji didn’t bother to find out nor to be reprimanded, quick to assert what needed to be done and heading out the estate; he couldn’t even bother cursing those that had done nothing but the worst after the worst, each time a new low, for his mind solely pertained in finding you.
It took him a while to do so, as expected, but he knew it was only a matter of asking around for a woman that simply didn’t fit to do the job—and such, here he is now.
“I want—needed to see you.” Toji takes a step closer.
“Get—get away from me.”
“No, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“You were fine doing that before—what’s so different from now?” You spat.
“This is different, Y/N. You’re alone—and you need me.”
“I’m not alone—I don’t need you.” You gasp. “Get away from me or I’ll—I’ll call the police!.”
“If you don’t need me, then the baby does.”
It’s like he struck a nerve with his words, because soon after tears would begin to fall down your cheeks, revealing that the sight you attempted to portray, the strength you so fiercely put up against him, was nothing but a façade, a way to hide the fact that indeed, you needed help.
Exhausted from facing all these uncertainties on your own, afraid.
But not anymore, not when Toji was here, more than willing to step in, as seen in the way he swiftly holds you in his arms when he sees you almost faint from distress, attempting to comfort you as you continued to cry.
“Get— get away from me…!” you’d say again, still fighting against his hold. However, he doesn’t fight it, he simply allows you to vent, taking in all the pain and hatred your heart harbored from the moment you were kicked out of the estate. “Don’t touch me!”
“I’m not leaving” Toji insists, he feels you trying to squirm your way out from him, but his strength doesn’t allow it. “You can struggle all you want, but I’m not leaving you on your own—”
“What difference does it make to you? Your family abandoned me to my luck! And even forced my family to do the same!” you breathe, Toji’s eyes widen—he did not know that; his fury for the Zen’in grows, but this is not the time to deal with that. “They don’t care if I die on the street!”
“I know.” He murmurs, holding you tighter against him.
“And I—And I tried my best to—to move on, but I can’t! I can’t do it!” you sob. “I’m so alone, and scared, and—and ashamed! I don’t want to live like this anymore!! I don’t want to die!”
“…I know.”
“Why—why is this happening to me?! All I ever wanted was for—was for Naoya to love me. I never wanted anything else! I never wanted money, I never wanted to hurt anyone either! I just—I just wanted to live a happy life with him, to make him happy!
But then he—he tossed me away, at one thing he didn’t like, he acted like I didn’t even matter! He didn’t even put up a fight to defend me! he just—he just let them hurt me, like what we had was—a lie!
 Did he never—did he even love me?”
Speechless, all Toji could do is continue holding you as you kept on pouring out your feelings, hearing the heart wrenching sound of your sobs that just kept reflecting how wounded you were by Naoya’s betrayal, the transgressions of his family, and the disappointment of yours.
And all because of something you didn’t even suggest in the first place. It was him who made his way into Naoya’s mind, and eventually, it was Naoya who pushed you into it, regardless of what happened later.
He wanted to do it; you know?
He wanted to go back there and murder them for all they’d done against you.
But when he left that place one last time, he promised he would stop thinking about himself, and start doing what is right—what was needed.
If Naoya wasn’t to step up and be a man, then he would.
Toji would gladly throw away his own pride, his own anger and thirst for vengeance, just to see you safe and happy once more.
Things your husband, could simply not—but he… he’d do it in a heartbeat.
“I promise you.” Toji would reassure you once carefully placing you down to the bed after tiring yourself from crying, followed by a gentle kiss on the top of your head.
 “I swear, Y/N— I will not let my family do the same things they’ve done to me to our child. Even if it costs me my life, I will do everything in my power to keep the two of you safe.”
And unlike your husband, he means it.
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Yes, a second part is coming :) just gotta put this one out first hehe.
Anyways, it's not exactly what you asked but I think it's going there??? I mean Toji STEPPED UP and was like OK imma take care of my baby mama. also, here Naoya .I. put it where it fits. ugh, can't say we're done with him...
agihajkgksa I'm excited for what's to come, I haven't written this level of angst in a while!! oof!!!
Thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask :> I'm super happy you've like my oneshot so much!! I hope you'll be able to like this too!!
Take care, and see you soon! ❤️❤️
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lily-blue-blue-lily · 10 months
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god this show is not afraid to kill off its characters huh
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anotherpapercut · 1 year
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It’s literally amazing that you almost never practice what you preach. Like I only know of you through people but you’re just..a complete hypocrite lmao.
so I turned off anon fucking foreeever ago when I was getting rape threats and now when people want to send me anonymous messages they have to go through the trouble of making a whole ass new blog or, if they've already been blocked, a whole ass account. when it's that, which I think it often is based on the similarity of the messages, I always wonder, did these people use a 2nd email that they have for such occasions? or did they have to make a new email as well? because akdnksnejdb that would be like extra pathetic
either way it's just literally impossible to be bothered by anything y'all say when you're like so obsessed with me (or just the idea of me as a person for you to blame whatever you want on) that you took the time out of your one and only life on earth to do this instead of idk spending time with someone you love? just cause..... idk you're clearly scared of something lol. it's just so funny but also sad? uhhhhh please get help lmfao
#also i love this message because calling someone a hypocrite is like calling them pretentious#everyone is a hypocrite like pretty often and everyone is pretenious sometimes lol#and I'm literally 23 and autistic and still very much learning the right way to interact with people so like.... yeah lol im a hypocrite?#you got me‚ i display common flaws the most people display at various points in their lifetime‚ especially when theyre young and learning!#im so hurt!#my absolute fav part of this message tho 'i only know of you from people' LMFAOOOOOOO#imagine making a new blog to send a hate message on TUMBLR to someone youve only HEARD OF through people JSHDHDBSJSJRJSBBSJDH#and the use of the word know here is interesting because like do you mean you have friends who find my blog annoying#and think i suck and theyve told you about it#because thats not knowing me at all in anyway thats not even knowing of me lmao thats hearing about a version of me second hand lmfao#or do you know people who know me irl who dont like me because they also likely dont actually know me as a person#bc they cant get past my various real flaws (which is cool! maybe i cant get past theirs either lol. sometimes you just dont like people)#so i also dont care about their opinion or yours lol#im fully aware of the mistakes i make#its called being a young adult and trying to work on becoming a generally kinder and better person :/#and actually it goes past young adulthood :/#im guessing youre like 14 so im gonna let you know now that you grow up for your entire life until you die#you dont stop growing up at 18#well you can lmao but thats how Ben Shapiro and Joe Rogan happened lmfaoooo#so uhhh for the worlds sake and ur own please dont stop lol#anyway orion out ✌️
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spade-club · 2 years
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Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
(I found this and thought I might as well do this to help myself with denial later!! obvious abuse tw!! also I have a lot of stuff that came from outside the house too, but this is like. parent stuff yeah idk!!)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change (gender but same deal)
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive (hardly even that)
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
#oh man uh. hm.#literally im not kidding TODAY my parents told me I had it so easy compared to them#like. okay. you didnt hit me#congrats on that im sure that was so hard for you?? but like. that doesnt erase the everything else.#they literally started talking about the abuse they went through as kids and I was just like. I cant participate in this conversation.#and then my dad said its because I had it easier and im like. yeah sure well pretend thats why haha#anyway thank you emotional amnesia for allowing me to do this post easily. you suck but ily xx#also there was nothing for *dragging me through the house to get me to do what they wanted* but thats okay ig#also idk what forcefully undressing me and shoving me into shower classifies as either#so like. yk. there is some physical stuff too its just idk what to call either of those#oh also for the food one its bc I was allergic to the stuff they were feeding me and I told them that but they didnt listen!!#so pretty epic double whammy there#OH AND my mom would tell me after every fight *you better not be telling people about this*#to the point that I stopped telling people because I was scared she would find it and freak out#alsoalso the only reason she knew I was sh-ing was because she read my texts and then she demanded me to tell her everything about it#so she could *help me* or whatever. and then she promptly never brought it up again as if it never happened#so a lot of weird as fuck shit idk#also the way she checked my texts to make sure I was okay but didnt notice me being groomed online lol#and instead just taunted me about the crush I had that she found out about through that. fucking. okay.#okay thats enough oversharing I will just hit post now hehe
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pleafyistired · 1 month
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love being here cause i can be free and happy of shit and be oblivious and watch funny people do march ideas and cat photos and cool people showing me characters i have no interest it. its great i love it! its such a great place to relax and im so thankful to this place for teaching me "hey. chill. enjoy yourself. dont let other people force you into things you dont want to do and convince you youre evil for not doing it. maybe shit stucks, but fuck it we ball, and we're all together for this shit in the end"
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yosh-iro · 1 year
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just realizing my hearing can be summed up as having a fucking nasa computer for hardware but only ever using it to play that vid of a spinning rat with a compressed version of free bird in the background
#making that comparison cuz i literally just bought a $2k desktop after my laptop shit itself and im now watching that exact video#anyways the context for this is that while my hearing capability is much better than average for my age#i have an auditory processing disorder that makes it so my actual ability to hear is dogshit majority of the time#like i can hear really high pitched things (up to 20khz still even on low volume)#but for example speech is something thats hard for me to understand sometimes because it somehow gets garbled in my brain#which i think is why i dont have a hard time with accents since im so used to needing to unscramble whatever the hell i just heard anyways#or like how i cant tell music intervals apart despite taking/being in music for like 80% of my life#i was so happy when my band teacher let me see his hands when i did the interval part of my theory final last spring#cuz i know the difference when looking at it but hearing it i cant tell the difference between a minor 3rd and a major 6th or anything#and its not a lack of practice seeing as id been doing that shit specifically for almost 8 years at that point and hadnt gotten any better#i think he realized there was no way i would pass that part normally cuz he had been helping me with interval training for a while#i could play whichever one when asked to but couldnt tell them apart audibly when i tried to#pretty sure the highest i ever got on an interval test outside of my theory final was like 60% cuz i had to basically guess all of them#even with just single notes i find it hard to tell them apart unless its a G or C#G cuz i was a emo shit in jr high and C cuz that note haunts me in my fucking sleep since i stopped piano lessons like 8ish years ago#anyways yeah welcome to tumblr where i feel its not too abnormal to have somebodys life story in the tags section as context for a joke lol#or maybe im in the minority and most people dont actually do this but i just happen to see a lot of posts that do :p#and now this is very off topic lmfao#yoshi talk
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mrfoox · 1 year
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God im... Probably too nice but it's fine
#miranda talking shit#I wanted to talk about a thing but...noticed quickly that they were not in a good mood/mindset so ofc i didnt even bring it up#I mean the talk was good anyway. I think he... Needed that. We talked about feelings and how to handle them#And at one point he stopped and turned to me and went 'that thing you said about getting another perspective on it... Thats smart. Thats#A very good idea. Im going to try that' not like im good at dealing with emotions. But i try to and that's a thing i know have helped me at#Times. Discussed our goals/dreams and well... I cant agree with his or understand it at all but as long as he thinks thats what he wants#Then im not going to argue. Love how he always drone on about he doesn't care about anyone or what anyone thinks but still wants to hear#What i think. I told him that was funny to me. Bc imo one doesnt ask about something one doesn't care about or have any interest in...#He's been a lot more... Curious about what i think about things and its fun. Personally im just fairly weak in my opinions. Not many things#I think are worth fighting over or arguing over tbh. So im used to just listening and nodding. But that may annoy the shit out of him lmao#That might be why he asks me about my opinion bc im so quiet and passive . But yeah very interesting to discuss#Mainly bc i havent heard anyone have that kind of opinion and goal of their own so it was fun?#But yeah ngl i love hearing people say im wise or smart. Bc i obviously dont hear that often. So when i do im like ah ... Thank you 😭#Its bc im not book smart but i guess im emotionally smarter or whatever. In general i just enjoy making people think about other perspectiv#Bc i always do that and enjoy it. Think many are unintentionally stuck in their own way of seeing things and everything become so black and#White. To me the world isnt . I wish it was but no everything is gray with many shades lol#Also me doing and example: 'i dont think everything is your fault oliver. I think its my own'#Oliver serious: yeah well i dont think its your fault either Miranda.' i almost cried like... He didn't have to say that i was obviously#Doing an example and joking ? But he still ... Said that and im like...thabk you for reassuring me...#And he really went 'i fought hard to be the one that came by here today. It was going to be another guy which me and magnus hate. So i#Fought hard to be able to come here instead' and im like 🥺... Thank you... I wasnt there to fight but thank you for doing that...#I mean im guessing he also enjoys our conversations so i dont think it was a selfless thing but it made me happy :')#If i could have any say I'd basically only have magnus and oliver come by me but i know thats not how it works but it made me happy that he#Went out of his way to get it changed. I need to thank him again next time... At least he seemed to be a little lighter leaving than when#He came. So i hope our discussion was a bit helpful at least. Something had happened and i asked him if he wanted to talk about it#And he said no first and then 'maybe. We'll see' which to me is major bc uh.... He usually dont ever talk about anything happening actively#To me. Usually he comes and shares it 6 month later or something. So... Trust increase? I hope im rubbing off on him in healthier mental#Ways. Considering he's gone from saying nothing about himself to trauma dumping ... I guess something has changed. God i just#Want to pick his brain about everything for real. He has such diffrent values and priorities than im used to and anyone i know have. I love#Hearing all about it. Ive told him before but if we didn't meet through this... Unusual way. We'd never would have naturally. And if we did
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how to be wary/alert without crossing over into fear? is the question
#a question. i guess. today i had enough energy to think about how to navigate spaces/places w/o getting dumbed down by fear#ok a certain kind of fear. like the ..disabling kind? idk. mayb this is a superficial boundary but how to keep the leash on a warranted '#'paranoia'. alertness that enables access to action and direct action and harm reduction stuff. not endless paranoia and guilt-feeding.#feel like u have to be in a very well-resourced space internally to idk have the stamina to keep up that kinda alertness/wariness#this has a lot to do with killing/unlearning the part of you that cringes at being 'out of step' or being surveilled or not wanting to step#on ppl's toes or disturb the negative peace or whatever. i feel like i could've explained this better when im not knee-deep in an episode bu#whatever lol what i am saying is im fearfullllllll im full of fear and its not the healthy kind lol it is paralyzing it keeps me from breath#ing and moving and etc etc#and also when am i gonna feel secure enough to sense that this shit is just straight up silly? and stupid? all the way through? that i find#it so disinteresting and un-arresting that i am deeply unimpressed n so able to achieve another sorta buoyancy? that lets me keep working or#being or doing the shit i want to do#cuz rn im so fatigued -- well its better i used to not be able to lift a finger without wanting to die -- that all this seems inaccessible o#or something . and ive been passing slowly thru the same old acknowledgement that maybe it isnt lol. it makes sense that this is a praxis a#way of life to orient towards rather than uhh uh the thing in my head that says that losing my grip on this means losing my grip forever and#its a permanent reflection of my worth/failure or whatever. its a one-time thing. end or be all. all or nothing. etc#lol. like relearning is a one-time bus stop. lol. sorry lol.#u know i was so angry and despairing at how i cant even rest now without guilt pervading all senses even tho i remembered i could easily#and without effort before. and a little bit rn im having the space to remember that thats an active practice helloooo thats why its an activ#practice it did not hit me immediately or at all as most things do rn but uh yeah its starting to look not-impossible. finally. i really had#to slog thru months to come to a point where this is possible again huh. exhausting#dont rb#soy talks shit
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heeracha · 2 years
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,,,,,
#hopefully this is the last of me being such a little bitch. but the way mom went from 'im trying to make sure u dont have any insecurities#or have any inferiority complex' to 'but u're too shy u're too much of an introvert. u cant even approach anyone outside. stop being like#that' and then proceeds to compare me to my successful ass cousin. i mean i love him and mom's point is that he should be my role model and#i get that bcs he is my role model. but mom comparing me to him help ??? i should be more extrovert i should get out there more i should be#more grateful they put me in a good school (i am i really am) i should not put their spendings on me to a waste. i get all of that but im#really trying my best 😭👍🏻 it hits different when you hear 'why r u like that' from ur mom and 'what r u doing with ur life' from ur dad.#it just sjdbsksj hits it right there. hELP THE WAY IM NOT EVEN FINISHED RANTING AND MOM STARTS ON A NEW ONE ABOUT HOW I SHOULD BE MORE LIKE#MY CLASSMATE ??? specifically the girl who manipulated me for six years 😭👍🏻 please im trying my best i really am. i just wish u're a little#more patient with me thats all i ask. i dont talk too much about my feelings to my parents and maybe its my fault too but the only reason i#dont is bcs they just scoff or laugh at me for feeling that way so after three tries i just stopped and yeah 😭 but yeah anyway thats how it#is ig. i just want to power through whdbsjs do i even make sense lol bye#delete later
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tteokdoroki · 1 year
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imagine if your bestfriend katsuki was really babyfaced until he hit his 20’s. total late bloomer, aure he went through puberty but his body looked like it had never gotten out of the awkward teen boy phase look!
so, anyways maybe you travel back him for some family time, gone for maybe 3-4 months. Katsuki had already looked really mature, he just had some baby fat, and you teased him, because in your words he still looked like he did when he was 5.
now you’ve come back, and boy, has katsuki grown. you and the group go out on the town, and when you see katsuki he has grown in height, build, and his face is now chiseled. and you cant believe your eyes. the whole night you can’t stop staring, seeing your bestfriend in a new light.
(sorry if this makes no sense im running on a low brain battery lol!)
kissing your brain actually absolutely just smooching it ??
growing up with katsuki and he’s just the kid you guys picked on ever so slightly cause it was easy to get on his nerves — he’d just run home and cry. definitely a mamas boy LMAO !! but you’re both so cute, with gaps in your teeth and messy cheeks and your parents think you’re gonna end up together when you grow up. katsuki thinks that’s gross and you think he’s being mean n you push each other away like ewww grosss even though you were probably crushing on each other back then.
when you’re a little older katsuki is still baby faced and his mom always pinches his cheeks and calls him handsome and does that thing mom’s do where they lick their thumb and use it to wipe their kids face. PLEASE but katsuki is still so cute n hasn’t quite grown into himself yet :(( and when you start hitting 13/14 everyone is talking about the boys they like and who they wanna go to the movies with after school — he doesn’t think you’ll wanna go out with him because you’re best friends and he doesn’t look like the guys in your teen pop magazines or the boy groups you like.
stop he has like braces, he’s a little lanky and his voice is always cracking !!! awkward teen boy katsuki for the win!!! he probably stays like that all the way through high school n then you end up losing touch after graduation/starting college.
but then a few years down the line when you’re back from college your friends are begging you to come to a local bar to catch up — you ask if katsuki will be there and they won’t stop teasing you about it because you haven’t seen each other in ages !! laughing and pointing when he rolls in with your other guy friends, taller, thicker more buff. you’re practically drooling.
the katsuki you knew was shy, and small if he wanted to be but this katsuki is loud. he fills the whole room with his presence, he’s got a waistline that could kill and a jawline so sharp you could cut diamonds on it.
“didn’t your ma ever tell ya starin’ is rude?” bakugou mumbles when he’s close enough to order a drink and you literally melt in your spot — because when did his voice get so deep? basically running through your ears like melted chocolate.
“you’ve changed.” you quip.
“for the better, i hope?”
“yeah… you look good.”
“and so do you,” he comments back smoothly. “but don’cha worry, ‘m still your same old katsuki.”
and god, the way he smirks at you afterwards makes your thighs shake and your stomach do back flips, and you kinda hope your katsuki is a little bolder, a little different when you ask him.
“do you wanna get out of here, katsuki?”
your suspicions are confirmed when bakugou kicks back his shot and says.
“i thought you’d never ask.”
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ifimdreaming · 1 year
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blurb!
I cant sleep
jack hughes x reader || fluff
summary: jack wakes you up at 2am becasue he cant sleep an wants mcdonalds lol
word count: 0.6k
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Jack tossed and turned beside you, reaching over to the nightstand to check his phone for the fourth time in the past 10 minutes. You tried desperately to ignore him, being way too tired and annoyed to tell him off. You also knew that if Jack knew you were awake he would take every opportunity to keep you awake.
Not even two minutes later Jack is sitting up in bed and you look at him confused with squinted eyes and your head still on the pillow, not wanting to lose your sleepiness. 
He begins ripping his shirt off and loudly starts fluffing his pillow, punching and throwing it on the bed repeatedly, clearly uncomfortable with how it was before. You groan slightly in annoyance and Jack turns his head to look at you.
“Oh you're awake too?” He turns to face you and lifts the pieces of hair that are covering your face so he can see if your eyes are open.
“Well I am now. Literally how could I be asleep with all the noise you're making?” you huff and turn your body to face the other way, away from jack.
“I can't sleep...” 
You feel poking at your side after staying silent, trying your hardest to ignore the irritating boy beside you.
“...Hello? Did you fall asleep again?” Jack says as he continues poking your back.
You grab his hand to stop him and kick his leg under the covers. 
“OW!”
You reach over and grab your phone, checking the time. “Jack, go back to bed its almost 2:30 in the morning!” he looks at you with furrowed brows and grips his leg, dramatically emphasizing the pain, which makes you crack a smile and laugh.
“Go. to. bed.” you sit up in bed and hold his face in your hands trying not to laugh, “im serious.” you add, trying to get your point across but he just chuckles in response, clearly seeing you fighting back your own laughter.
“I can't. I'm hungry and I really need mcdonalds.” he says as you reach over to turn the lamp on, reluctantly giving up on getting much sleep tonight. 
He looks at you and pouts his lip, and you just roll your eyes in return. You knew you'd be giving in but it was funny to watch him get so worked up about it.
“Pleeaase come with me?” jack says and pulls you in closer beside him. You sit up more and he lifts your leg over him so you are now sitting up on his lap, facing him.
“Please?” he says as he leans in to place a soft kiss against your lips. 
“Hmmm… I dont know. I think I need a little more convincing.” you say as you scooch closer to his chest and place your arms on his shoulders, wrapping your hands around his neck.
“Oh yeah?” Jack leans in and leaves gentle kisses along your jaw and down your neck. He picks a spot along your collarbone and leaves marks that will definitely last for at least a few days.
“How bout now?” he lifts his head to look at you but you push it back down to your neck. 
“Come with me?” he says leaning up again and you reluctantly open your eyes, not wanting him to have stopped.
“Mm fine I suppose” you reply, and he flashes you a big smile.
“But this continues when we get back, yeah?” 
“Of course.” He says and places one last kiss on your lips, moving his hands back and forth along your thighs.
“Well lets go then hungry boy” you laugh out as you begin to climb off his lap.
“I'll get the keys!” Jack says and basically pushes you off of him so he can get dressed and get in the car as fast as possible. Leaving you laughing hysterically and scrambling to keep up with him.
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moon-goddess-posts · 1 year
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Play Fighting
dom! rhea ripley x sub! reader, degration/praise kink, overstimulation, strap on (reader receiving), rough fucking, oral sex (reader receiving), reader sucks rheas strap lol
it’s done guys 😁 also requests are open if you wanna suggest prompts or story ideas. I still need to update my request list tho so after i do that i’ll pin it
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“Rhea Ripley! I challenge you to a match!!” You yelled jumping on to the bed. You put your hands on your hips and gave Rhea a wide grin.
“Oh do you now? You think you’ll win?” Rhea was teasing you as she got on the bed as well but you stood your ground.
“mhm! I’m one hundred percent!” you said smiling. Rhea just laughed.
“Ok but if you lose you’ll regret it”
“yeah yeah yeah I don’t care, TAKE THIS!” At full force you swung your right leg trying to aim and Rheas face. Now you were in no way a fighter or had any experience in fighting besides self defense. So expectedly, rhea caught your leg in a swift motion.
“Oh.” You froze and then gave rhea a nervous look trying to get her to free your leg, but she pulled you down and you plopped on the bed. From there she started to pin you down with you struggling to still win.
“And you said you were a hundred percent huh?” Rhea looked at you still struggling and she just snickered.
“ugh you suck” in the middle of struggling you saw an open point right in front of you, rheas stomach. You smiled and rammed your foot into it and Rhea was taken aback, letting you go. You ran away giggling and she was not having it.
“cant catch me!” you laughed only for it to be cut short when two big arms wrapped around your waist.
“noooo let go of me!” You felt yourself being put over rheas shoulder and you slumped in defeat.
“nice try darling, don’t be a sore loser now” She teasingly spoke. You crossed your arms pouting but at least you could enjoy the view in front of you.
“nice ass” you grinned. Rhea just rolled her eyes and ignored you making you laugh even more. Rhea then took you off her shoulder to throw you on the bed. She pinned you once again and you were throwing a fit.
“I refuse to lose!” you yelled.
“dont resist love, once i’m done with you i’ll make sure you’ll never think about challenging me.”
“yeah right!” you bit back. After that you felt hands grip the sides of your neck and you whimpered staring into rheas eyes.
“you wanna fucking try me whore?” rhea forced you to look at her and that finally got you to stop struggling. However you tested her enough today and it was time to face the consequences.
“you sure have a fighting spirit for someone who claims she’s not a fighter” rhea chuckled
“whatever, you never let me win”
“I like the look of you losing to me, now because you lost you have to do anything I say for twenty four hours” rhea smiled
“what! twenty four hou-“
“that means you ask to speak and only do so if I say you can.” rhea squeezed your neck again to get you to stop talking. you nodded your head
“good girl, now you can talk”
“Twenty four hours is too long…” you spoke quietly
“that’s too bad, I know you can do it I won’t make it too difficult for you.” you knew that was a lie, rhea makes things like this difficult on purpose. But you enjoyed it anyway and she knew that. You wrapped your arms around your girlfriend and pulled her into a kiss. Rhea grabbed a hold of your face and intensified the kiss making sure you knew she was in control.
“Rhea please..” you spoke gasping from the kiss
“aw does my little whore want somethin” you nodded your head while lookin away.
“well, you don’t get to ask for things” Rhea was softly touching your waist making you get goosebumps. Pulling away, rhea got up to get a few things for what she wanted to do with you.
“On your knees.” she was demanding and you followed, slowly kneeling down in front of her. rhea pulled out her strap and put it on, then aligned it to meet your mouth. You looked up at her with puppy eyes as you slowly wrapped your hand around her strap.
“don’t give me that look darling, you know what to do,” she caressed your head and you leaned into the touch. Your mouth got to work, licking and sucking her cock. Rhea let you go at your own pace with only sometimes pulling your hair to go deeper or faster. You loved the feeling of being used, small droplets formed in the corner of your eyes.
“yeah just like that love, you’re so good using your pretty mouth like that.” She praised you making get even more worked up. The heat between your thighs was unbearable, you needed rhea to touch you where you so desperately wanted. Drool driped down your chin still sucking on rheas strap. Your hand wandered down to touch yourself but rhea caught you
“Did i give you permission to touch yourself?” she grabbed you by the hair and pulled you off of her cock.
“N-no” the pain from having your hair pulled sent shivers down to your core.
“So what made you think you could hm?”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t help it, I just wanted you to touch me” you whined
“You’re such a fuckin slut, you can’t even wait for me to do it?” She pulled you up and threw you on the bed. You were laying on your stomach, ass propped up for her to see.
“Count with me, or else i’m starting over” A harsh slap landed on you. You gasp struggling to speak
“one!..” Another slap.
“Ah! two!” this time it stung more than before. But you were enjoying it, juices now flowing down to your thighs. Rhea made you count 8 more times, by the time she was done you were crying and your ass was now a light shade of red.
“You’re doing amazing love.” She rubbed your sore cheeks and gave you a kiss.
“please…please touch me” you said through sniffles. Rhea laughed and finally started to touch your dripping pussy.
“You got this wet from me spanking you? I could slip two fingers into you so easily now. Maybe three?” Rhea whispered in your ear teasingly. You pushed your ass into rhea desperately and she grinned.
“I wanna feel your fingers, I need you so bad Rhea” you begged as she rubbed quick circles into your clit. Shortly after you said that, rhea swiftly inserted two fingers inside of you unexpectedly. You couldn’t contain the noises you made as she kissed your neck slowly.
“I think you can handle another finger, right princess?”
“o-oh oh fuck…it’ll be too much!” You were lying, you wanted to see how much you could take, you wanted her to push you to the max.
“You’re such a bad liar, love” Rhea added a third finger, stretching you out. Pleasure washed over you as she continued fucking you. You were close to release and rhea could feel it.
“Are you cumming princess?” you nodded your head babbling nonsense as your whole body tensed up. You shouted rheas name as you released all over her fingers. Rhea flipped over your exhausted body so you could lay on your back.
“Look at the mess you made.” She kissed your thighs lowering herself in between them. Your hands clenched the sheets.
“wait wait i just came!” You huffed.
“I never said we were done, i’m far from done with you angel.” She forcibly held your thighs open so you couldn’t resist. You felt Rheas hot tongue on you, cleaning you up and moving in a circular motion on your swollen clit. Your nerves were burning up as you were being overstimulated. Rhea moaned into your pussy making you become even louder from the vibration. You were close once again but rhea stopped.
“that’s not fair, I was so close” you wailed
“quit your whining, love” you let out an annoyed sound while looking away, until you felt something hit your entrance. You quickly looked back to see Rheas strap. Before you could protest, she gripped your hips and started to enter you. You whipped your head back cumming on rheas strap as she now slammed into you.
“look at what a slut you are, cumming from just entering your little hole” you were breathless as she fucked you hard and fast, fucking you past your orgasm. You were twitching uncontrollable. Rhea placed your legs over her shoulders, aiming to go deeper into you which you didn’t even think was possible. Her strap was bigger from the usual ones, the thought of it going deeper into you made you close again.
“f-fuck rhea you’re going to..ugh! break me!” You held on to her, leaving scratch marks on her back. Rhea groaned, her hand now around your neck. She was hitting all the sweet spots within you, the pleasure made you dizzy and dazed. Watering you down to a moaning mess.
“Come on princess, one more time for me” Rhea’s hand moved from your neck to your clit. Rubbing it while she was still deep in you, messing up your insides. You felt her pull out almost all the way, and was about to beg her to keep going from how close you were until she snapped her hips right back into you. You screamed and felt your body convulse, orgasm now approaching. Only a few more sharp thrusts were enough to get you over the edge one last time.
“Shit!” your hands grabbed onto anything in proximity, it was too much for you to handle. Rhea gave slow thrusts through your orgasm, turning your legs into jello. You finally calmed down, body now limp as your breath slowed.
“Such a good girl, have i tired you out?” Rhea pulled out of you, rubbing any sore spots on you.
“mhm…” You felt exhausted, but you still managed to cling yourself onto your girlfriend.
“can you kiss me please?”
“of course angel” she kissed you slowly and passionately as you drifted off to sleep. Rhea left and came back to get a towel to clean you up, admiring your beautiful body in the process.
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