#congrats on that im sure that was so hard for you?? but like. that doesnt erase the everything else.
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Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
(I found this and thought I might as well do this to help myself with denial later!! obvious abuse tw!! also I have a lot of stuff that came from outside the house too, but this is like. parent stuff yeah idk!!)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change (gender but same deal)
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive (hardly even that)
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
#oh man uh. hm.#literally im not kidding TODAY my parents told me I had it so easy compared to them#like. okay. you didnt hit me#congrats on that im sure that was so hard for you?? but like. that doesnt erase the everything else.#they literally started talking about the abuse they went through as kids and I was just like. I cant participate in this conversation.#and then my dad said its because I had it easier and im like. yeah sure well pretend thats why haha#anyway thank you emotional amnesia for allowing me to do this post easily. you suck but ily xx#also there was nothing for *dragging me through the house to get me to do what they wanted* but thats okay ig#also idk what forcefully undressing me and shoving me into shower classifies as either#so like. yk. there is some physical stuff too its just idk what to call either of those#oh also for the food one its bc I was allergic to the stuff they were feeding me and I told them that but they didnt listen!!#so pretty epic double whammy there#OH AND my mom would tell me after every fight *you better not be telling people about this*#to the point that I stopped telling people because I was scared she would find it and freak out#alsoalso the only reason she knew I was sh-ing was because she read my texts and then she demanded me to tell her everything about it#so she could *help me* or whatever. and then she promptly never brought it up again as if it never happened#so a lot of weird as fuck shit idk#also the way she checked my texts to make sure I was okay but didnt notice me being groomed online lol#and instead just taunted me about the crush I had that she found out about through that. fucking. okay.#okay thats enough oversharing I will just hit post now hehe
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˖⁺｡˚⋆˙ like a feather 🪶 | CL16 ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙
pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: none just fluff as per
summary: in which you're his celebrity crush and he eventually becomes yours too
a/n: me doing research to write this fic 🤓 (watching the feather mv)
request!!!: Hi, how are you? sooo i was thinking maybe a smau where Charles is dating a singer and he's playing the guy who Milo was (in Sabrina Carpenter's Feather music video) and this breaks the internet and this leads to them dating ??? idk, just like a really wholesome one where she was his celebrity crush like Taylor and Travis's relationship. Sabrina Carpenter as a face claim if this okay and thank you.
my masterlist
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, dualipa, and 1,023,821 others
yourusername virtual postcards 💋
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gracieabrams wow wow wow
yourusername blushingg
user1 omg mother
user2 ilysm
user3 she is so insane
yourbff wow i love u
yourusername i love u more
user4 im in love
dualipa beautiful as always 💋
liked by yourusername
user5 anyone else peep charles leclerc in the likes?? anyone? just me
user6 is y/n his next victim
user7 i would never allow it
interview ->
twitter ->
messages ->
/
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
liked by yourbff, maxverstappen1, and 991,284 others
user12 urm yn??
user13 what does this mean
user14 Y/N???
user15 IS THIS A CHARLES LECLERC REFERENCE
yourbff ur gonna send ppl crazy with this
yourusername hehehehe
interview ->
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc, and 1,827,023 others
yourusername the feather music video is urs now !!! <333 tysm for all the love on this track & to everyone who helped out with the making of the mv, u might notice a certain someone starring!!!! thank u to our mr ferrari , charles leclerc🙏🪶❤️
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charles_leclerc thanks so much for having me, y/n! it was so much fun
yourusername tysm for being soo cooperative it was the most fun ever!!!! sorry if it was too crazy
charles_leclerc never too crazy
user20 omg 🥲🥲🥲
user21 OH MY GOD
user22 omg they are so hot
user23 THE CROSS OVER
user24 this mv is my new roman empire
user25 they srsly need to date
yourbff wow congrats gorgeous girl !!
liked by yourusername
twitter ->
messages ->
instagram ->
charles_leclerc posted a story
liked by yourbff, carlossainz55, and 398,183 others
user33 CHARLES????!!!!!! AND Y/N?
user34 hard launch or friends
maxverstappen1 wow wait a minute
pierregasly hello?
user35 they're dating i know it
user36 IS SHE UR GF CHARLES
charles_leclerc
liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and 809,841 others
charles_leclerc ✈️
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user37 omg...
user38 ok. im speechless
user39 this looks a lot like a hard launch
alex_albon go off
liked by yourusername
gracieabrams love love loveee
charles_leclerc ❤️
yourbff omg
liked by charles_leclerc
user40 HARD LAUNCH??!
user41 omg we've come so far
user42 "she doesnt know who i am" 😭😭😭
francisca.cgomes omg please introduce me
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername
interview ->
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 1,087,918 others
yourusername well, sure and well, my cat loves him
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user50 NOT THE INTERVIEW QUOTEEEE
maxverstappen1 this has been amazing to watch, so thank you y/n
charles_leclerc i hate you
yourusername hahahah
yourbff i just knew this would happen
pierregasly you're not the only one
user51 everything about this is amazing
user52 most iconic crossover ever
user53 the 2024 season in the ferrari garage is going to go OFF with y/n there
liked by charles_leclerc
user54 fast times? no, fast cars
user55 charles piano feature on a y/n track when
yourusername 👀
user56 OMG
charles_leclerc i feel so lucky
yourusername you're my celebrity crush 🫶
user57 omg
user58 i screamed
THE END ❤️
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 fic#f1 x reader#smau#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#cl16#cl16 smau#cl16 one shot#cl16 x y/n#cl16 fluff#cl16 x you#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 fic#maddie's smau
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ooooh!! im wondering how the zombie hord would deal with the FTM reader who's on his period and cant function due to how much pain he's in??
Zombie Horde x FtM Reader on His Period
CW: period. mentioned period sex (doesnt happen)
an: vyn if you see this, i can explain.
💀 YOU'RE DYING
💀 They come back from one of their hunts and you're curled up in a ball holding your stomach.
💀 Ribs screams and everyone turns to see a bit of blood on your sheets, it smells like you too.
💀 Bo and Screw rush over to you and check if you're ok, it doesn't help that the smell of fresh blood is all over you.
💀 You try to explain to them that you're just having your period and your cramps are just a bit more unbearable today.
💀 "BUT YOU'RE BLEEDING! DID SOMEONE GIVE YOU YOUR PERIOD?! ARE YOU HURT?! DID THEY HURT YOU?! I'LL KILL THEM!!" Ribs rambles
💀 "Nah you dolt! It's a normal thing humans do! like uh..peeing?" Bo somewhat explains.
💀 They try their best to keep you comfy as you're going through your period.
💀 Bo is always with you, making sure you're alright. He'd mumble to you about how strong you are, how good you were being and how much he loved you.
💀 "It's alright baby boy, I'm not leavin' ya, stay strong ok? You're gettin' through this great!"
💀 Soda tried 'reading' up about periods through old books in the bookstore (which was him staring at the pictures and trying to piece together words that he knew) and accidentally came to the conclusion that you're internally bleeding
💀 He came back crying to you and the horde that they might have fucked you so hard your insides are fucked.
💀 Please comfort him.
💀 Screw is bundling you in all your cushions, sheets and blankets.
💀 He thinks of you like a fragile treasure that will break from the gentlest touch, he can't have his mate suffering like this!!
💀 Any packets of tea or sweets he finds, he brings over to you so you can feel better.
💀 If you have bad moodswings, you have to reassure them that you don't mean it if you accidentally snap or raise your voice at them, especially Ribs and Screw.
💀 They dare not ask you to mate. They might deal with blood almost every day but seeing how much it hurts from just cramps, they don't want to strain your body further.
💀 You're not leaving your bunker while on your period. They'll do all the hunting and you can stay nice and safe in your nest.
💀 Stand up even once and you're being pulled back down and kept in a tight cuddle until you stop protesting.
💀 "Screw please, I need to pee.."
💀 "But...you're hurting.."
💀 "I'm fine now, c'mon I gotta go!.."
💀 "...no."
💀 "...Fine.."
💀 Congrats! You have very protective and internally freaking out zombies that are willing to take good care of you during your periods!
#yandere x reader#oc yandere#yandere oc#yandere#terato#teratophillia#monsterfucker#monster x human#monster smut#monster lover#zombie#undead#x reader#x male reader#male yandere#yandere male#yandere x male reader#trans male#x male y/n#yandere x darling#yandere x gn reader#yandere x you#poly x reader#polyam mlm#polyamorous#polyamory#poly relationship#give me your soul#tw yandere#zombie x reader
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Congrats on 1k!!! ♡
I'm literally craving for Regulus × hufflepuff!reader so badlyyy, maybe like the reader is rlly hard on herself and she gets a bad exam mark or smt and then she like cries and reggie's just there comforting her? (Lol the reader is ME)
Orrr
Can you do like where the reader is a popular singer (kinda like Taylor swift) and they have an argument together (reggie and reader) before a big concert the reader has to attend to and she's like really sad on stage cause Regulus doesnt attend it and maybe midway through the concert he joins and then the reader just feels better and after the concert they make up!!
Lol you can choose whichever prompt you prefer<3
~♡~
i went the former (mostly cuz i didn’t know how to write the latter and) because same, i get you!!
a(cceptable) | regulus black
pairing: regulus black x reader
genre: established relationship, comfort, im no good at angst so this is me trying
part of my 1k celebration event !
Regulus can read you as easily as he can read a book. It’s in the slight pull of your brow, and soft pout that gives away your mood.
You’re upset, about something he hasn’t figured out yet, but from the look on your face he’s able to make a wild guess that it has something to do with your test. The one you took last week and would be handed back to you by —approximately today.
“What’s wrong, amor?” He asks you. In truth, Regulus knew full well what was wrong, but he wanted to give you the freedom to rant to him. To have someone be there for you, to listen and to reassure. “Did something happen?”
You’re fully frowning when you look at him. “I got a failing grade,” you tell him, handing over your test paper.
A glance at the paper tells Regulus what exactly he needed to know, you’re being to harsh on yourself. An A(cceptable) was not a failing grade, sure it was a huge different to your test marks but you’re only human and you’re bound to skip up once in a while.
He could only hope you know that.
He doesn’t tell you that this wasn’t a failing grade. You both knew that your grades were passable at best, it just wasn’t up to your standards; so he listens to you instead.
“I’m so mad at myself,” you murmur, “why do I even try when this is the best I could do?”
“You did your best right?” A nod from you has him continuing. “That’s all that matters, love. You made a mistake this once and that’s fine, everyone makes mistakes it’s a part of living. And for what it’s worth, this grade doesn’t change a thing, you’re still the smartest girl I know.”
“Even if I got an A in muggle studies?” You ask him timidly.
Regulus nods, smiling softly at you. “Even if you got an A in muggle studies,” he repeats, and —just for extra measures, he makes sure to tell you about how he’s only ever gotten a D(readful) on the subject.
#regulus black x you#regulus black x reader#regulus black x yn#regulus black fluff#regulus black fanfiction#regulus black imagines#🧳: my writing#🍰: 1k with patro!
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I was wondering what your take on how the creepies would react to a Verosika Mayday reader? I wonder how they would react \ (^ω^)/
PS: drink lots of water, take care of yourself and sleep well <333333
You feed us simps well :D
Creepypastas with Verosika Mayday reader!
➥ Jeff the Killer, Ben Drowned , Nina the Killer, Eyeless Jack
Muahaha im so glad to feed you guys!! I havent watch hazbin hotel or helluva boss so i hope its at least ok!! gosh you has waited so long im so sorry, and its short and shitty T^T Again im sorry!! !!<3 As always - feel free to want even more characters :)) And once more - im so sorry!!
˚ . ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ . ˚
Jeff the killer
He would match your energy i guess? Not like he is your clone or something, but you two can and will get along (just give it some time). Jeff is a mean and teasing person so he totally gets you, he is the first one to bully someone or manipulate them in order to get what he wants. He also have some sort of god complex, he is the best and always right (well yeah sure no cap), so it may be something that you dont like. I believe you two would constantly fight over everything Also congrats, you got yourself a drinking buddy!! Loves that you are so..confident..in yourself?? He kinda likes a bit slutty people (and i mean it in a good way i swear), that have tendency to flirt and show their body? And they have even bigger sex drive? Is that suprising? Maybe not really, but Jeff is often horny!
Ben Drowned
Yeah, Ben would be blushy and all submissive becasue of your personality and the way you live your life! Like okay, it can be a lot but not necesserly in the bad way. I feel like he would also flirt back, he is head over heels when he sees you and its just so hard for him not to simp for you... Ben doesnt have many braincless yet they are all horny. You dont even have to manipulate him, he would do literally anything for you - he is on his knees barking and meowing. Ben has huge sex drive anyway, so its not like he will complain. Isnt bothered by drinking alcohol or other drugs, Ben is pretty cool to do all that with him. You being you is perfect for Ben, could he even been happier? This boy is great for both - having fun or talking shit about others.
Nina the killer
Okay, its not too complicated - you would absolutely get a long with Nina!! Like she is just walking energetic ray of sunshine?? You can be annoyed by that, but there are many similar aspects when it comes to your personality - even tho its not always shown in the same way. Nina of course has her vulgar side, I mean, she is a killer after all..?? And a huge gosspier, she just loves causing chaos!! I also feel like Nina would be your fangirl, loves having popular partner and loves that they are all to her! Nina is such a huge flirt too, she is very confident of her way of being and her body. She doesnt say no to a party too, so you wont be bored with her.
Eyeless Jack
Jack would be actually the one to try stop you from drinking? And the one who would be pretty concern with your way of life? Dont get me wrong, he does like you but come on.. its not like your life style is healthy and perfectly normal, but who is he to judge? Whatever makes you happy! Propably one of not so many things that makes you both similar is being demon kind of stuff? I cant think of other things to be honest, well okay, maybe not including his sex drive not from this earth. But no worries, guess what - opposites attract! But on the other hand he kinda gets it? You are cool and powerful so its not like you should be good and innocent, just have something from you life!
˚ . ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ . ˚
#jeff the killer x reader#jeff the killer#jeffrey woods#jeffrey woods x reader#ben drowned x reader#ben drowned#nina the killer x reader#nina the killer#nina hopkins#eyeless jack#eyeless jack x reader#ej#ej x reader#creepypasta hcs#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta#requests#wholecircus#helluva boss#hazbin hotel#verosika mayday
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time to qsmp talk
theres multiple things about the new server that i do enjoy i love the new mods and i mean lootr is so awesome for dungeons and theres a lot more cool blocks and decorations to build with and i think bounties are actually fun to give people stuff to do and i love the new world and everyone starting from zero and new builds.
but theres also the cons! i truly would not have minded the economy system if it wasnt so invasive to the gameplay. i dont mind “money” being established when it comes to buying silly things like cosmetics or the plushies or generally things that dont impede you being unable to craft. i understand why everything is behind a paywall, i get it, they want to really promote this system and get the players involved but its such a drastic shift from being able to simply craft a waystone.. to having to pay for every single one you want. it’s rough. it dont see the point really in having a mod in the game but locking it behind money and removing essentially its utility to the players. with every con though theres pros like its interesting to see how players develop transportation for themselves to get around easier i mean points towards foolish have you ever seen a man so dedicated to breeding fast horses. but again that doesnt lessen the unfortunate aspect of waystones, warpstones, and such being less available.
i dont see the point in putting the nether behind a paywall i dont get why they have to grind for it as if they havent waited long enough and tried millions of things go get the nether already. its odd. though again i think these choices make sense in the story like the island is being run by a new character mr bunny and he’s obsessed with money so it makes sense for the players to live in this capitalistic hellscape where they need to even pay to teleport. i think it reinforces the power and imbalance between the federation and the islanders. they thought they had it bad but they continue to make their lives worse. i think all of this works actually really well in the story my issue is that when you look at it from any other lens its not fun. it feels unnecessary and forced onto the players, which again makes sense in the story, to partake in. idk i think if the admins wanted to delay the nether being opened then they couldve just done that without the collective spending. it feels really weird. i always wanted the nether opening to be this cool grand lore moment but it feels like its just going to be “woo u wasted money congrats here u go” not nearly as thrilling as if the players idk uncovered information from the federation and the bunnies and found a way to make a permanent functioning portal that would lead to this opening moment.
the whole thing with the coins is such a shame because i wanted it to be good but as of right now it doesnt bode well with me. also makes me question what about all the players duck coins they had earned prior to the reset? where did those go? once they go back to their old builds can they deposit that money?
i wouldnt even say earning coins is hard like the admins have offered a variety of ways to get coins my main issue is all the things behind these payments with the coins. i dont get the nerf with waystones i dont get why. i dont know. i’d like to have a genuine chat with the admins over what the future of the smp looks like to them and what their aim is with all these features. i want to understand better so im able to watch and know what the point is before simply criticizing ignorantly. but im sure they’ve received a lot of negativity already and i dont want them to be discouraged. im just honestly curious like the beginning of purgatory was confusing and jarring but once we got the premise of what it is and what its purpose is meant to be in relation to the server i personally ended up enjoying it throughly.
anyways peace and love on planet earth ily admins and qsmp team (please set us free)
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career anxiety which turned into existential dread which turned into me guiltily defending my use of stories as narrative framing devices for my own life & human existence as storytelling more broadly (smthn smthn sometimes you gotta be a little mentally unwell to be mentally well)
what is possibly the longest cringe worst thing ive ever put on this webbed site, but i gotta get it out in writing to clear my head and i type more quickly than i write and if there's a post length limit by god i'm gonna find out
with my deepest apologies if this readmore doesnt work
so we had a Big Fancy Meeting at work today, with a group of information professionals from an Outside Institution (some of whom i had met previously), and which i got to sit in on/play tech support for, which was all fine and well for the actual presentation portion of the event, but afterwards when it was informal chatting and the like it was just???
The following things are true:
i actually got to speak with people close-ish to my age and in my profession
it was a very nice and enjoyable experience and we got to talk both seriously about professional things and also jokingly shoot the shit about shared woes with this one outdated archival software that everyone under the age of 60 hates with a passion
i was also incredibly jealous of this group of archivists & librarians because they're all /friendly/ with each other and i am lonely being the youngest person at work
i am also jealous because theyre working on very exciting projects at A Big Institution with Actual Resources and Technology and PROCEDURES my beloved, and not the slapdash kinda thing going on at my work
this in turn made me anxious because there were certain elements of the conversation i couldn't follow and i worry about my professional development at my current job, and that my technical skills are either atrophying, or not growing in a way that would enable me to get hired at A Big Institution like this one (which is the ultimate goal)
this in turn made me more stressed about my current job, which i just got promoted to fulltime permanent for the following
beyond the skill atrophy fear there is also the fact that my boss is grooming me to be her successor when she retires in 5 yrs and i very Much Do Not Want to be here in 5 years
this adds several layers of guilt
i was just promoted so im getting really sweet messages of congrats from random ppl in other departments who i didnt even think knew/care i existed - the people at this workplace are extremely nice, even if im like. meh. about some of the work/procedures/etc
a large part of my promotion being approved hinged on the fact that im undertaking this big technical project that my boss doesnt have the technical know-how to do. so i cant just bail and leave them high and dry without feeling guilt. but also. it's not so fancy a project that someone else couldnt do it. anyone in my field worth their salt and not super old should be able to handle it. sure i work hard and im friendly, but surely that's not that rare in an employee
i dont even KNOW if there's better opportunities out there. but i see stuff on the listserv all the time, and assuming i could land those jobs, they pay better and are at larger orgs and more in line with what i want
there is an element to working non-profit adjacent that is guilt inducing as well as [redacted thing about my work that would make me feel even guiltier for leaving, i cannot say what, but it is Significant]
this of course, tapped into my larger, ongoing sense of ennui and being 'stuck' and fears about unchosen monotony and purposelessness and all that mid 20s recent grad existential bullshit. i cant really do anything to solve it bc yknow, unprecedented housing crisis, rent is insane, im stuck living in a dysfunctional household which traumatized me as a child, etc etc etc. but broadly:
i am afraid of being stuck in a mediocre job forever. my boss has worked for two (2) archives her whole life and has always done non-profit adjacent work and is like. a one man small archive thing. i VERY MUCH DO NOT WANT THAT
i feel guilty for wanting
idk how to want things or be a person (separate issue), but i know very much what i want career wise. i know what makes me happy and satisfied. and i know what im good at. im doing fine at my current job but i know i could be so much MORE and i want that desperately
if my personal life is always doomed to be dismal, as is my family life, can i at least have one thing
i gave up academia for my mental health and some degree of financial stability, can i at least satisfy SOME of my ambitions here?? just a few??
yes this is pride. yes this is ambition. just bc i spent so long extremely depressed and with 0 self esteem does not make me immune to ambition, even if non traditional.
i feel immense guilt over this but i dont stop wanting it
ofc, my brain is a web, all existence is inextricably interconnected, and im listening to the tge audiobook on my commute and rotating csevet in my brain, thara is more personal, more beloved maybe, but csevet is my fave lil guy babygirl and i have a thing for fantasy secretaries, so i am now thinking even MORE of ambition, and how i have it, and how i love that im good at this one complex but boring thing, i am thinking of kip mdang, of kamet, of muire lo, of how some of my deepest loves, in no particular order, include: organization and scheduling, devotion, competency, well-ordered policies and procedures, righteous anger, boring skills being used to change the world for good, small kindnesses, Duty, loyalty to a person or ideal which goes beyond the functional and the expected and which extends into unprecedented levels of intimacy - whether it be friendship, qprs, romance, etc, and also, metadata and research
so. as i sit there sorting this all out in my brain i am like. wow you are a pathetic human being. you are not even a person. like. why is everything being framed in terms of narrative and story. why does everything relate to a Broader Theme or Arc or Meaning.
i am forcibly reminded of being undiagnosed, unmedicated, aged 18/19 and trying to explain smthn really personal about myself to someone i knew from youth group and him being like. wow. you describe everything and relate to everything from stories.
to this day i live in embarassment over this moment. but also. lowkey. fuck him. and tradcath circles be WILD, the social dynamics BAD, and it was not the place for me to be, even tho i latched on to it lacking any other social contact at the time. if a complete mental breakdown, latent OCD, and a really painful loss of friends is what it took to get me out. like. i cant say i dont regret the loss, but also, i like who im becoming much better now
ANYWAY. i got thinking about stories and why i am and am not extremely cringe
i am a big believer in storytelling is the oldest human activity. it's the most fundamental human activity. this isn't some nihilistic devaluing of the human person, the soul, the human experience, it is instead and elevation of the story. because like. stories are what we do to live. it's why we live. it's how we communicate. storytelling is how we turn to another person and we attempt to communicate the innermost secrets of our heart. language is a flawed tool always ultimately falling short. but we use stories to share ourselves with each other, to be recognized and known, and throughout the ages, to share our grief and love, to know to oneself, no, i'm not the only one, others have experienced this before too. stories are balms and inspirations and are ultimately reflections of their creators, they reflect some Truth about the human experience back to us
im not even talking like. published stories. tv shows. mcu ification of media. i mean /stories/. in whatever form. from whatever time. this isn't a fandom thing - though there is overlap, im not talking about consumption for the sake of consumption, or consumption as a personality trait
i mean like. stories as the bedrock of humanity because it is the only way we can attempt to understand ourselves. stories are foundational because the human person is too complex, having too much of the image of the divine in it, to ever be really fully successfully understood. and so of course. of course we turn to stories in times of trouble, and triumph, and all the times in between. how could we not turn to stories to attempt the divine understanding that is always ultimately beyond us?
(i have a whole other locked and loaded series of thoughts on storytelling in faith traditions, and specifically how the bible is a literary work as well as a spiritual one, and the reasons for this reflected in the human soul, but i digress)
so really. maybe i am pathetic and cringe and a fake not real person (i am all of those things), but i hope it's not because i think in stories, in themes, in arcs. everything is tangled in my brain, inextricable, i can do nothing else, i know nothing else, i would not want anything else, unless it were the full divine understanding beyond mortal means
and besides. i am trying. to be better. to be more. to have comforts and hobbies beyond this. the crafting. the cooking. the career ambitions that arose when i found something that i was good at and enjoyed and was /me/. my insatiable need to learn to dance.
i dont know where im going with this. i barely know where i started. it's stories all the way down, because it's people all the way down, and we are all mirrors of each other and we are all connections with each other in a vast caring world. or. so i like to think
#franposting#long post#im so sorry but also i needed this so.#smthn smthn you go to the circus (my blog) dont be surprised when there's clowns (me) etc etc#i had to take a break in the middle of typing this bc i got worn out emotionally#should that have been a sign to stop? maybe. but i cant read so that sign wont stop me etc#this is the most embarassing cringe thing i have ever posed in my ELEVEN YEARS on this site#ah well#gotta weed out the weak. natural selection for my horribleness#and now. i am going to play bg3 for a bit. and then read. and then bed bc alas. commuting
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CONGRATS ON BEATING THE GAME! Any particular stand-out thoughts you want to share??
OH MY GOD DO I....... first of all fern sevilla. oh my god. i love everything he had going on.well. big shocker from residential fern fan #3 but. GOOD FUCKING LORD.
i really liked seeing him and florinia. for a lot of gay little personal reasons but like. i dunno. it's nice to see him slowly try repairing his relationship with florinia. and trying to be a good person despite it all. and just. getting better i think.
he played the cards life had dealt him and played them fucking SOOOO POORLY LIKE SO BAD. but its never like. the end. his life doesn't stop and he doesn't have to go sacrifice himself and die. well. forever. to go prove that he's improved but like. he keeps on trying!!!! he keeps on going!!!!!! this shit is hard and he's embarrassed and frankly it SUCKS but he keeps on going. he apologizes to florinia he apologizes to the player and he shows that hes sorry!!!
i just think. that fern is very cool. and he deserves good things. because things get bad and in return you'll get worse but the grass still gets greener so long as you make the effort to grow it. i think that was like 8 metaphors strung together and im not sure how effectively that worked but you get my sentiment at the very least!!!
i dont know. i just love fern. he just wanted people to smile at him, but tried getting that through fear and intimidation. because being a normal kid was never enough for florinia, so clearly he was doing something wrong, right? so he gets worse and worse because this is the closest he's gotten to a Reaction out of florinia in years and if the universe won't give him what he deserves he'll take it.
JUST KIDDING. #EPICFAIL FERN. after the protagonist fucks his shit up again on victory road infront of everyone everything just. Happens. he deserved better than this- and maybe in a different timeline, thats what he got- but hes stuck HERE. mfw i am a chad but i have psychological problems so i am stuck here with you virgins. and he's embarrassed to all hell and florinia *still* just doesn't give a shit and then he starts arguing and yelling about how unfair lifes been to him and. no one cares. he doesn't get any sympathy because he doesn't deserve it and he's thrown into the machinery and is bleeding out and everyone is walking away
well. nearly everyone is.
florinia's still there. because in some fucked up way she still cares about her little brother. and in some even more fucked up way, fern cares too. he can't admit it and sure as hell wont for *checks watch* at least 60 more hours of gameplay. but theres a reason he wants a reaction out of her so bad.
and then he fights you again in the wasteland and loses *again* and he tries getting the mew and fails *that* too and his face is fucked up and everything is fucked up. and, in fact, continues to get fucked up! he stays in the corner of the nightclub because no one wants to talk to him and he doesnt wanna talk to anyone and. and. shafjsagasfhdsjkg. and despite it all. despite no one caring and despite it sucking so bad for him to do. he still tries to improve himself. he admits maybe the protagonist wasn't so bad.
and then the mewtwo quest. he takes the bullet for the protagonist and gets turned to stone. he didn't have to. it was only those two. it'd be one annoying as fuck competitor down anyways
and LORD HIS FUCKING UMBRAL AND THE MOMENTS LEADING UP TO IT SORRY NO TRYIN TO BE NORMAL RIGHT NOW IM GONNA EXPLODE. IM GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE. IM GOING TO EXPLODE. HE CARES SO FUCKING MUCH. fern message I DONT EVEN CARE *throws up and cries from caring so hard*. HE FOUGHT TWO KIDS FIVE YEARS OLDER THAN HIM JUST CAUSE THEY FUCKED UP FLORINIA'S BIRTHDAY. DUDE COME ON. BUT HE THOUGHT THAT. FLORINIA DIDNT CARE. ABOUT HIM OR ANYTHING HE'D DO.
and in his umbral state where all bets are off its time to give fucking EXPOSITION. deepest desires that he'd never say out loud. what are they you might ask person who's definitely already played reborn and know sthe answer? its seeing his sister safe T_T HE WAS SCARED. HE WAS SCARED AND JUST WANTED IT TO HURT LESS TO THINK THAT FLORINIA DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM. GOD. GOD. GODDDDDD. but in his own fucked up way he loves her and always has and hjkdsg
and then he breaks out of it and florinia expects him to just go back to normal- that it was all made up and strings that lin had pulled to get a laugh out of it, or something. but NO he genuinely just wants to. hgdjkshgs. hajnxzm. hfhjkhdgsjgkg. because. things can get better. they really really can. and. oughhhhhhhhh.
and by the end its like. they've lost a lot of time together and on their lives being the kinds of people that'd keep them save but never keep them happy. but its never too late. and. things can get better. and even if its slow and awkward and the first thing they do is immediately argue over what they're gonna tell everyone else about what happened because lord knows the protagonist wont but florinias version is BORINGGGGGGGGG as HELLLLL but at the same time ferns includes 3 more explosions than were probably there they both think. that maybe its not too late. not too late to have a little brother. not too late to have an older sister
#pokemon reborn#pokemon reborn spoilers#sorry for typing so much dude T_T#my best friend who i normally talk about this stuff to HAS NOT FINISHED REBORN. SO I AM LEFT ALONE. AND ILL DIE OUT HERE#FERN SEVILLA#MY SPECIALIST SHINING STAR#jazzask
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Heyy!! Congrats on all ur followers! Can i request a match up for G1 transformers? I hope this isn’t too long 😳
Personality: im very people oriented, But i keep my friend circle relatively small but we are very close! I have a very happy bubbly disposition and positive outlook on life no matter how bad it gets. Im smart and very interested in art and science, the environment and nature.
I can be really anxious at times (anxiety disorder) but i don’t let it get me down! I have overcome a lot in life and enjoy guiding people through their struggles/giving advice. Im more alternative leaning in fashion, piercings, dyed hair, etc. I can be really ruthless and unforgiving if someone is being horrible or cross my friends with intent to harm, but i don’t hold grudges and i forgive people when they ask. Im fairly brave and i dont like to back down from a challenge
I like to do volunteer work when I can, especially with children and animals. My adhd makes it hard to commit to things so i come off as lazy (i am also genuinely lazy sometimes lol) and i jump from thing to thing without finishing it, despite being scientifically inclined i can get over emotional in debate and just in general. I can also be very judgmental when someone does something morally incorrect and hold myself to high standards morally. Im also extremely loyal.
Likes: plants, bugs, nature, food, movies/tv, horror, chilling, music, vibing, ALIENS!!, archeology, biology, animals
Dislikes: all forms of discrimination, liars, cheaters, rich people, crooks, directors that ruin movies by making shitty sequels, environmental damage
Gender preference: male
ty !! :D and dw its alr that its long ^^ it rlly helps me when its that way bc it lets me be able to do matchups in the way i want to ^^ w/ a lot of depth and detail 😎🙏 i managed to match you with two different characters 👀
𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 :
- perceptor
- wheeljack
𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 :
perceptor ::
• perceptor is definitely into teaching you what you wish to know about science ,, more of biology or outer space then wheeljack is able to
• hes also quite a calm guy to be around ,, not too loud nor harsh ,, hes just nice in general :)
• he’ll indulge in your liking towards nature ,, maybe even teaching you a thing or two about a specific plant you two might come across
• being with him also means getting a few trips to space 🥴 as he does go every now and then when optimus requests he be there ,, and he usually takes you along <3
• he’s okay with bugs ,, but definitely interested in learning about them if theyre foreign ,, or if theyre not insecticons 💀
wheeljack ::
• wheeljack is more active and energetic then perceptor is ,, and is more in for mechanical science then biology ,, but that doesnt mean he’s not interested in other types of science ,, just that hes best with engineering :)
• he’ll definitely be lazy with you ,, cuddling together and watching a show or movie ,, he doesnt have much of a preference but he will make unnecessary comments 💀🙏
• probably point out a few errors or call the character’s actions stupid sometimes ,, but he does laugh a little here and there
• wheeljack doesnt touch space stuff as much as perceptor does ,, but he does take some liking in archeology ,, wanting to learn about ancient artifacts at times
• wheeljack probably isnt great about healthy environments ,, especially since his stuff does blow up sometimes ,, but he makes sure to do it away from habitats and do it in his lab ,, even if it means getting a disappointed sigh from optimus 💔
𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎 :
the two of you walked along the soft yet mushy ground ,, perceptor gazing about at the foreign scenery. it felt like something out of a book ,, a small paradise with bioluminescent plant life all around. even the water glowed a nice purple ,, little creatures skittering and swimming about.
it could easily remind you of the movie avatar ,, how pandora had such beautiful plant life. the leaves atop of your heads were stretched out wide and had lovely pink streaks glowing amongst their dark blue color.
“ wonderful isnt it ?” perceptor asked ,, smile placed softly on his face plate as he glanced down at you. “ makes me wish i could stay here forever with you ,,” he chuckled softly to himself as you two continued your walk.
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syscourse hot take from yours truly, me.
also just a generalized hot take in general.
i do not think minors should be running/owning blogs that cover heavy topics.
lets talk about why i think this, and why it directly affects syscourse.
DISCLAIMER //
THIS POST IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE OR ANY BLOG IN PARTICULAR. THIS IS SPECIFICALLY MY OPINION, AS AN ADULT, ON WHY I DO NOT THINK MINORS SHOULD BE HANDLING AND/OR COVERING HEAVY TOPICS.
minors can be influenced pretty easily, right? look at what tiktok has done with this disorder. minors are influenced into thinking that this absolutely awful and terrifying disorder is fun and dandy.
now think; minors running these big blogs, specifically syscourse related blogs, might feed into that “influencing minors” by mistake.
am i saying all of them do this? no, but ive already noticed a small pattern with this type of stuff. hence the post.
blogs regarding syscourse and why endos/etc are bad are wonderful! yes, i love those, but i do not think that a minor, or anyone with a still developing brain, should be handling these heavy topics.
this reaches towards literally everything. between talking of trauma, of C/SA, of S/RA, racism, antisemitism, literally anything and everything that can (and more than likely will) be a heavy topic.
am i saying that no one should be talking about these things? fuck no, if you think thats where im coming from, your back must be aching from reaching that hard.
im simply saying that i think only (at least 25y+) adults should be handling these types of situations, and these blogs, to ensure that no one is being influenced to believe either blatant misinformation, blatant lies, or attempts to fear monger.
THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE. I AM WRITING AN EXAMPLE RIGHT NOW THIS IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, I CANNOT EXPRESS THIS ENOUGH.
anyone at the age of 15 could easily say something regarding racism, “this and that is racist”, and there is the chance that other 15 y/o’s will say “youre right!” and blindly follow that when, and theres a slim chance, that the OP was wrong about what they said. congrats, now you have multiple people who believed something was right, when it was not!
replace “racism” with any of the other topics i mentioned, or really any heavy topic. it works every single way.
this is something i have noticed 100% within the system community on tumblr. i am seeing people under the age of 18 running these syscourse blogs with heavy topics, consistently engaging in syscourse to the point that it doesnt even seem healthy for neither party, and outright spilling their own stories to the public.
this is not safe. none of the above is safe. none of the above should ever be happening, and yet, its happening on a daily, because it has been something that i have been witnessing for the past few months.
minors should not be running these blogs.
following, sure. reblogging, sure. liking, sure. giving their opinions, sure.
running them? actively engaging in this 24/7? spreading their opinions as if theyre pure facts and truth? hell no.
this is just some shit that i am, genuinely, so exhausted of seeing. i am so incredibly tired of seeing minors preaching about these incredibly heavy topics, and chanting that their opinion is the correct one, that theyre right, etc etc.
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HELLO …. this is your pookie anon🥺i havent been on here in a while but im here now to say congrats on 100!! you deserve it so much!!
for the event, could i request a blush bandaid with chongyun? im kinda uhh… failing ap physics and the exam is this thursday :’) it’s purely because i haven’t done much of the homework. ive tried so hard but it’s just assignment after assignment and i can’t catch up. i need my adhd to take the backseat for a while so i can just DO all the stuff that im missing. i just gotta DO it and maybe i will pass hndndkkfj
HI POOKS!!! i can tell yr a chongyun/bennett simp and honestly me too🤞🤞 they were my first genshim crushes and i know damn well that irl we would be dating (me fischl and bennett)
dear pookie:
hello. this is chongyun. you probably knew that already from the fact that i called you "pookie". that rrally is a silly nickname that xingqiu and hu tao gave you huh? doesnt matter, i kind of like it.
i have read you letters that were about your physics class, and as i was retelling the story to xingqiu he mentioned a old wives tail that seemed to fit your dilema. to sum it up, its basically an evil spirit who comes into the homes of civilians and maked their lives harder for them. whether it be slowing them down, purposely multiplying work or even making the work dissapear!
this has to be the situation your in! xingqiu wouldnt of told me about it if it wadnt the case. so i will be over as soon as i can! if you get this letter before i arrive, make sure to prepare yourself for demon hunting. if you get this letter after i arrived, we must of successfully excorsized the evil spirit.
so what do you say? do you want to go spirit hunting with me?
best regards,
chongyun.
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hi! first off, congrats on having 500 works up! ❤ ive been wanting to ask you for advice... im fairly new to posting fics on ao3, so i know not to expect much hits/kudos, but one of my fave fics that i wrote barely has any hits, and tbh it made me feel bad, coz i poured my heart into writing it. now im nervous to post the multi-chap fic that i wrote last year and am proud of coz what if it doesnt get appreciated and i lose appreciation for it too? :( do you have any advice for me? - E.
Thanks so much Nonny!
In terms of the advice you’re looking for…well, I can try, but the truth is, I may not be the best person to ask because the question you pose runs so opposite of how my brain is (mis-)wired that I temporarily blue screened while reading it. (Which is not to dismiss your feelings as invalid by any stretch! But they’re not necessarily something I’m equipped to help with.)
Which is to say, to me, you’ve already done the hardest part. You’ve already written something more.
When I have a fic that flops - and I’ve had a lot of them! I will have a lot more still to come! - my difficulty is always in getting past it to write the next thing. And I won’t lie, I’ve built in my expectations for return on investment into how I write fics. It’s why I don’t write very many multi-chapters anymore. It’s why I’ve had ideas for a fic and know that I’m never going to write it because the effort isn’t worth the payoff. It’s why I play things fairly safe in terms of treading familiar ground. Because I know how to manage my own expectations (and because I know that’s important to me to be able to keep writing).
But you! You have a multi-chapter already done and ready to go! And not only that but if I’m reading your ask correctly, you managed to write the entire thing without any feedback/hits/kudos/comments whatsoever! That’s mind-boggling to me. I don’t work like that. It’s one of many reasons why I struggle with the idea of writing a novel - I have a hard time staying motivated when I’m not getting semi-consistent feedback (in no small part because my brain chemistry is pretty fucked up).
Additionally, my appreciation for my own fics generally doesn’t change once it’s done and posted. I have moments of doubt, sure, like when a fic that I really love bombs I may question if it wasn’t as good as I thought it was, but I’ve been doing this for long enough now that I tend to read that more as a reflection on the fandom than the work itself. Like, oh, I wrote a whump fic, fandom didn’t respond, they must not be into that anymore (or at least right now), so I will probably not write a similar fic for awhile (or, if I get an idea that I just have to write that is in this vein, I’ll do so knowing that it’s gonna flop and adjust my expectations for it accordingly).
(And, on the flip side, if a fic ends up going over super well and I think it’s kind of meh, I don’t tend to think higher of it just because fandom loves it. I figure I managed to tap into something in the zeitgeist and that’s great but it doesn’t make my clumsy turns of phrase or lack of effort in characterization any better, y’know?)
So in terms of the advice that you’re looking for, I don’t know that I have an answer for you. All I’ll say is this: you can’t get appreciation from anyone besides yourself if you don’t share it. That said, for right now, maybe you decide to shelve it for the moment, to work on something else and keep this for yourself until you’ve established yourself in whatever fandom you’re in. And that’s ok too! I truly cannot relate (though I wish like hell I could) but you probably have a healthier relationship long-term with your writing than I do if that’s a decision you’re happy with.
At the end of the day, the only thing you (or any writer) can do is keep writing, so my advice is to do whatever you think will help you most to keep writing. That will almost certainly not look the same to you as it does to me, which I know is maddeningly unhelpful, but it’s all I’ve got.
#wrote this on my lunch break so sorry for the word vomit#ask#answered#hey nonny#blathering about my writing#in which I give advice that I am wholly unqualified to give#going to go ahead and add a#on the continued subject of constructive criticism#even though this is not but it’s somewhat in that vein#oh yikes this is even longer than I thought#long post for ts#sorry for rambling lmao
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Ah hell my bad i did get. Really busy & really tired the end of year holidays are busy & really draining. I am a sea person but im glad that resonates with non sea people too. People try & talk to you often there? I dont know a whole section of verb conjugation so im not sure how id do there. Fried bread & cinnamon sugar what a peak combination thank you churros. Same i need to pick up more spanish food recipes. Oh? Thats a good start actually. Knowing simple stuff like eggs or grilled cheese or uh. Chicken noodle soup are good baselines. I mean. Yeah same to a degree. I turn them on when im reading or walking/going places. Keeps me focused. Mag is good. Same with nightvale & alice isnt dead. Thats some solid luck kudos to everyone for not getting attacked by gulls. Id wonder about that too australia seems. Nice but very weird. Like their one prime minister who walked into the ocean & disappeared. Kudos to her for finding one she likes & gets along with enough to move there. Ah nothin like light hearted roasting among friends love that for you. Oh jeesh thats like my geometry teacher i had once. Dude would get distracted & then skip stuff he was supposed to help us learn. & still test us on it. Had a different math teacher help me sometimes because he was better at teaching. Hell yeah english teacher for the save. She sounds cool. I dont have time for meta so like. Why bother when if something works it works? Oh is honkai meta that hard? Do i need to focus on that on the way through the story? Oh thats way better like star rail having a pick your own on standard after x amount of pulls. What genshin's fate system could be if it was good. Hmm im not sure where even to start. I guess about himeko. Like her place in the story & what her story in hi3 is. Since i doubt its similar to in hsr. Hell she does have that vibe doesnt she? Chill piracy milf in a way. I hope she becomes playable. A thirty minite backstory? Must be a heck of a joke. Or because of all the polish nuance. Thanks! Ill have to see how she plays of course but personality wise she's good. Fontaine has killed it with interesting characters. Oh? Why the screen limit is it a doctors orders thing? & no worries about that life hit me hard so i understand. Ah thanks im getting to where gear matters a bit so ill need that luck. Need to up talents & such more though. Makes sense then but damn 4 pm as the other option? Both of those aren't super great. I live close to my work which is nice but i still have to wake up 2 hours before for early days because otherwise i wont wake i am not a morning person. 4 am? Hell mad respect for that i could never im barely a person some days at that hour i definitely wouldnt be. Oh nice congrats! On the exam & the history memes. At least your friends are becoming nerds with you. Important group activity. Im caught up on show & manga releases but i do need to read the spin off still when i can find it. Claire has protag rights to one name
AH ITS OK i just. Dont trust tumblr to function properly AJSKFJJH. but ah wishing you some time to chill soon. i understand tho since its the end of the first semester in my school so literally every teacher is trying to squeeze in as many tests as possible. yeah sjdkfkkskdf thats one thing everyone can agree on i suppose!! and it really is like that!! the stereotype about spanish people being seemingly All Extroverted is. much more true than i expected it to be. especially when compared to poland where everyone just more or less minds their own business. and not knowing the language that well proved to be less of an issue than i thought actually!! as in. i do Not speak spanish very well but through a series of trial and error combined with a lot of gesticulation i managed to communicate well enough. AND FOR REAL good lird. they were so right for that. and thanks!! i can more or less follow intermediate recipes so i can Survive more or less. and ahh thats fair, i unfortunately cant really listen to stuff outside my house as i only own headphones and not earphones and i dont like being Completely disconnected from the sound around me when im not at home. but very understandable. ANYWAY YEAH AUSTRALIA IS. A PLACE. i heard about that one prime minister yeah..... wild...... and yeah ajdkfjg me and my friends have been dissing each other for a Long time since i did the same thing in my previous school. always fun. AND AOUGH I FEEL YOU i have. a Lot of teachers like that. but eh im pretty decent at studying on my own [if i find the energy.....] so its managable. with math teachers too actually which is very funny bc last year we had this one teacher [we called her The Brick] who just. did not explain Anything just start doing exercises on the board and then be disappointed when we didnt understand anything. so obviously we were very happy to hear that were gonna have a different one EXCEPT??? SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COUNT???? LIKE GENUINELY SHE DOES SOMETHING ON THE BOARD THREE TIMES AND EACH TIME ITS SOLVED INCORRECTLY. IN A DIFFERENT WAY. ah well. but yes my english teacher is very epic. if nobody got me i know she got me can i get an amen. and exactly i agree with you!! as in. i like when theres a Big Number so i try to more or less build my chars but im not gonna wreck my sanity doing the same domain over and over again. the honkai meta however IS pretty hard so i try to keep up with that. but im much less excited for part 2 so when it drops im probs gonna focus on gearing the chars i already have instead of pulling the new ones since you can do anything with a good support and i have. pretty good supports [HERRSCHER OF TRUTH FOR THE WIN]. id generally recommend Not Completely Ignoring it yeah. tho i did and still managed to pull myself out, but it wasnt a pleasant experience [god. superstring dimension with ungeared teams. Augh.] so. yeah. AND RIGHT???? honkais meta may be painful but the gacha sure is not. I WILL GET INTO HIMEKOS STORY BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A SEC SO ILL JUST PUT IT UNDER A READMORE AND ALSO BEWARE OF VERY VERY VERY HEAVY SPOILERS. since im not exactly sure in what point of the story youre in. AND YEAH shes just. chillen. and the joke is [linguistic rant incoming] actually not That long [i just love hyperboles] although there is one joke that is Actually pretty hard to explain. anyway what i wanted to say is that she has ESSA which. first of all this is slang but its slightly outdated slang [which, of course, doesnt stop me from using it] and it just. well when you say someone has essa it means theyre like. chill in a cool way. cool in a chill way. but also essa itself can be used like. hm. for example if you manage to do sth, say, pass an exam, and you wanna say you did it and also it wasnt very hard?? you can just say NO I ESSA. its not quite translatable into english but needless to say i shall now begin using it. AND YEAH FR rare occurence where genshin made me actually care about male characters. as in. i love furina forever but neuvilette has actually proven to be someone i like as well.
[once again. tumblr forcing me to do a paragraph break] his autistic swag has captivated me. and yeah ajdfkgjsj as it turns out im both farsighted and have astigmatism so i should be limiting my computer usage...... its ok tho im trying to get into traditional art more and also studying is easier. so Its Joekay. ahhhhhh talents are such a pain to level up.... i just never have enough stuff for them seemingly. yeah my history classes have godawful times good lird. and we actually do less material bc of that since our teacher just refuses to do anything on the 6pm classes and just does twice the material in the monday block instead. i love my life. fair enough tbh, i picked up an ADDITIONAL 7am class bc its not mandatory and was close to disbanding but my classbestie really likes it so i joined to make it less likely to fall apart but ah. im regretting my decision. but at least the teacher is nice so. AND FOR REAL i do not understand where they get their energy from. or the dedication. ESPECIALLY for this godforsaken school. and ah thankies!!!! and good luck with catching up!!! i LOVE the manga sm omg...... im also very excited for the anime since the love scale arc is starting today and its my favorite........ big hype. and ah i started playing noita recently!!!! very fun i love games that are engineered to hurt me personally
ANYWAY. ONTO THE HIMEKO LORE
i Should mention that im not an expert on himeko lore BUT ill do my best hehehe. however i will reiterate that heavy spoilers ahead, especially for chapter 9.
SO himekos backstory is revealed in the alien space manga [which, admittedly, i read only because i found out shub niggurath appears by the end and i love niggurath] but it goes more or less like this. i wont go into detail about what Exactly happened because truth be told this is a pretty long manga and i simply do not have the motivation to do an Entire Summary but basically. when she was in university, her father, who was working for schicksal and also the host of an Actual Literal Alien kiiiiiind of went berserk [without her knowledge, of course] and welt had to Kill Him. which is pretty bad because they knew each other and were Kinda friends. anyway since her mother was already dead and she was infected with honkai at the time, this caused her to join schicksal! of course, the entire time kept in the dark about what exactly happened to her father. so when she was in schicksal, she was in the squad let by ragna lothbrok, who also ended up dying in action, and himeko ended up in saint freya. she also made bianka join schicksal! so anyway this is where we get to the main story. i wont go into chapter chiyou bc im gonna be honest i remember Nothing from chronicles. but she was kiana and the others from the main squad mentor, guiding them through their journey as valkyries. when kiana awoke as the herrscher of the void during the void arc, she was also Actively Dying from honkai poisoning [since valkyrie gear uses the honkai in it but she had pretty low natural resistance to it]. fu hua gives her an antidote that Could save her life but, during the final lesson, she uses it to temporarily seal the herrscher of the void so that kiana can live on. and dies in the process. i cry watching it to THIS DAY. but himeko remains as somewhat of an Afterlife Guide to the end of the series, appearing as flashbacks and visions in the chapter 11 ex cg, meteoric salvation, like an entire section of set tomorrow ablaze, everlasting flames, and graduation trip. to summarize, I LOVE HER AND WILL CRY ABOUT HER AGAIN. AOUGGGHH. she actually means so much to me you have no idea you have NO idea
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homestuck reread #13 act 6 p4
still in these conversations where the kids reveal their true feelings about each other except not TO each other but to someone else. this dirk one is so true though roxy has been the goat of their session and the one fucking thing holding them all together. god i love roxy
wow so cool they all ascended at the same time! surely nothing bad will happen immediately after
theyre finally arriving. holy shit . theyre COMING THROUGH THE WINDOW. JOHN AND JADE
yeah ok so jade showed up and her and jane immediately got turned evil
DAVE AND KARKAT HIIII
this is a CLASSIC dave/karkat mess around. if you know, you KNOW . shit had me ROFLing.
holy davesprite . i havent seen this mf since like RIGHT AFTER cascade. literally its been eons
TRUEE i think its a strider lalonde thing they looove to go on and on about random bullshit
hey its these bozos what up yall
waitt theyre being friendly to each other? breath players CAN get along!!! this is huge news. especially for me.
this actually would be a hard ass shirt fr i need that shit
this is the reaction i get when i bring up minestuck to my friends... and im like guys please its actually fun i promise... .(im lying)
yo its the fan trolls what uppppp
okay nice meeting you
this is all very silly :D
OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. WHY DO YOUHAVE EYES.... WHAT THE FUCK I DONT LIKE IT I DONT LIKE IT I ACTUALLY HATE IT GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
YES!!!!!!!! OKAYYYY TAVROS!!! stand up for yourself girl you are serving like crazy right now. i think maybe this is more meaningful than when he tried to kill her, cause that was just a too little too late type of thing where he wouldnt have actually accomplished anything by succeeding, and also had no chance of doing so. BUT realizing his CONFIDENCE and his FREEDOM actually is meaningful and it will accomplish things later on!!! :D YAY TAVROS
insane behavior
i think i agree with john here, i dont think it is out of line for him to hesitate in giving you the life ring. you dont have to be a good person to be a hero. but you do have to do... heroic things? like, ever? maybe once in your fucking life? when is the last time ANYTHING you did could be considered "heroic?" when you were alive, all you did was make everyone around you suffer. they had to kill you just to make sure you didnt doom them all. when youre dead, sure youre hunting down a weapon to kill the big bad monster, but you dont even seem to care about the millions of troll lives you are mind controlling against their will to be bait for your big mission. who the hell are you trying to save? the heroes that are alive in this story literally NEVER encounter the version of the villain that you are trying to stop. whats more, this big plan to use the your ghost army FAILS because the one who was doing basically ALL the legwork mind controlling most of the ghosts ditches you, and the only reason you still have an army by the end is because the guy you fucking bullied the whole time when you were alive (and a lot of the time you were dead) BAILS you out by ACTUALLY being a hero and a genuinely good person that doesnt need to MIND CONTROL PEOPLE to get them to follow him. look. i understand everything you are saying. about not having time to deal with the morals and ethics of what you are trying to accomplish. because the ends justify the means. but the thing is that NONE of it matters. YOUR PLAN FAILS. YOU GIVE UP and have an actual SATISFYING character arc. then it gets retconned and the main version of you goes back to being Worse. and then her plan...? succeeds? i guess? if succeeding means literally EVERY ghost in the army gets obliterated, the secret weapon deploying the four beta kids who are almost all killed by LE, and randomly davepeta being the one to throw him as well as themself into a blackhole. i guess if that counts as success, then congrats. you didnt even get to see that happen though, because you got ejected from the fight frame one. HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT!
anyway... what was i doing. oh yeah look at this. this is a bit sad
okay this is pretty real. even if it is nonsensical, and maybe a little bit problematic?
me talking about myself three images ago
i like this panel. poor john cannot find his friends
this is a very cool panel as well
FAWK
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worlds most epic meetup
my worst nightmare
fucking scary ass motherfucker please get a grip. also brown contacts .
GOD. ROXY IS SO FUCKING REAL AND TRUE. THEYRE ACTUALLY MY GOAT ITS SO FUCKING INSANE HOW MUCH I LOVE ROXY
well. things are pretty bad right now! jade is evil jane is evil everyone is on random planets with no memory of how they got there john is missing. if i didnt know any better this might seem like the beginning of something really bad . but what do i know. anyway catch you on the next one. or catch me? joff i will see you next time. ok joff bye joff
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*insert awkward laugh* uhmmm i honestly dont know what to say but im writing down everything i feel right now. i have a lot going on in my life and i think this might be good. i feel.. tired. like its all going downhill i dont want to be around all the bullshit anymore. i hate how my mom doesnt help me either. i dont mean for this to be sad or anything but i cant talk about my life without some sort of stress because it would just be a lie. i mean i have so much of my back and i am begging for some help. why me? i am a kid. im just a kid. its all coming at me too fast. this hurts. it hurts. i feel so bad 24/7 like its so exhausting and like stupid. i feel so idiotic and i just want to snap out of it. like my room is a mess i havent brushed my teeth or washed my hair in like a week. and i know what happens when i do this. my mom will call me names like ‘crazy’ or ‘out of control’ its happened before. i just want somrone to support me. what is wrong with me? im such a slob and im so exhausted from everything. everyone right now is being so hurtful and heavy on me. my mom constantly tells me oh how much ive been through and tells me all the shit. but does she really know? does she know all the real shit ive been through? now if your still reading this far congrats i guess? but you might think im about to say no. but Yes! she knows all of it. she knows how i was used and forced to cheat on my boyfriend and she knows what that girl across the street from our old house did to me and she knows how much my father has put a impression on me but she still calls me ‘out of control.’ what does that even mean at this point? i feel like i have no control sure. but i feel like i have no control over what i can do and what i cant. whenever i stand up i feel dizzy so i go back to bed, whenever i eat i feel like im going to throw up but whenever i dont i also feel like im gunna die. what the fuck is wrong with me. why am i like this. the smell of the food i used to love makes me feel so disgusted but at the same time so hungry. man. i miss keira. she was with me my every move. in school she would stay with me in the washroom when i was having panic attacks but you know what? i dont have her anymore. because she chose to support someone who has groomed and doxxed so many people including her. and he called me a chink and she continues to disagree. i miss katie my old best friend, she moved away and i miss Venus. my.. well.. i dont know. i do love him. but i was horrible to him. i dont deserve anythinv to do with him. why did he love me. its so hard for me to move on when i still love him. i hate this. he probably hates me. im so sorry. i dont deserve to feel this way. i will just get better. ill stay silent. ill go to school rveryday and i will be better. i promise mom. i love you.
i love you.
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you don’t have to answer all of these, these are just ones that came to mind for me! d, j, k, p, and u for albedo? (congrats on 200 love <3)
title : nsfw alphabet : d , j , k , p , u
characters : albedo
notes : dropping all my other asks rn to do this and omg im doing all of them bcs youre a special circumstance B) and AA TY <33
cw : smut -- experimenting -- mentions of oral (reader giving) -- edging -- overstimulation -- breeding -- exhibitionism
(not proofread)
D - dirty secret--
i feel like this one is given but he'd have like-- fantasies about experimenting with you
and not like just new kinks or positions
well those too
but i mean like giving you something odd to drink and seeing how you react during sex
like for example that one albedo fic on ao3 where he gave the reader something that made them horny and delirious asf and fucked them for hours
so yeah something like that JGHJ
he'd just love to observe you and your bodies reactions
and he'd never admit it but he sometimes might experiment on himself, taking something to see how his cock reacts when he strokes himself off or when he fucks you
something lighter:
he has all these dirty daydreams where you suck him off under his desk
if you do ever do that, he'd be trembling and biting his lip, trying to steady his pen as he writes <3
J - jack off--
god i love when someone asks for J
honestly i see him fucking himself a lot
like everyday
and it could go on for hours
in reality, albedo is pretty touch starved and once he finally gets attention, he cant stop thinking about it
its always in the back of his mind when he tries to work, leaving him horny and desperate :(
he also likes to see how far he could push himself, edging and overstimulating himself for so so long
he might even edge himself and stuff his twitching cock back into his pants because he wants to see how his body will react to being edged for so long
but anyways adding back on to him being desperate
i feel like he'd find a picture of you and just stare at it while he jacks himself off
and and and
mutual masturbation>>>
would absolutely love to watch you touch yourself and whimper out his name
god it would get him so so hard <3
K - kinks--
edging and overstimulation
he could be so mean, edging you until you cry and then fucking you, pulling orgasm after orgasm from you and watching how much your body could take
dont worry, he may be mean but he's fair
so he'd edge and overstimulate himself with you <3
all the shakey breaths he takes as youre both edged for the nth time, he may have to pull out just to make sure he doesnt keep fucking you
exhibitionism
ive seen this done time and time again but it makes sense
the idea of sucrose and timaeus walking in on you two makes him feral
his hips would speed up so so much, snapping against your own
"mh.. dont want sucrose or timaeus walking in, do we? so hurry.. cum for me."
he'd say that but then overstimulate you for an hour smh
breeding
i believe since he's basically made of chalk, that he wouldn't be able to reproduce in this way
so the idea of him being able to fill you up over and over again makes him oh so hard
theres always the smallest chance that he is fertile
and that risk excites him
but dont worry, thats most likely not going to happen <3
knowing this, he'll fucking his cum into you over and over again, making sure none of it spills out of your tight hole
P - pace--
it really depends on how his day went
like if he edged himself earlier then he'd be fast and desperate
but if nothing really happened, he's usually one to be sensual, rolling his hips into you at a decent pace
though, if you specifically ask for him to be slow or rough or anything of that sort, then thats what he'll do
if youre riding him, he'll buck his hips up at about the same speed as you
overall he's pretty considerate and sensual, but if he's desperate then expect to be railed into his desk
U - unfair--
again, it depends
if hes desperate then he'd just rail tf out of you and the only thing you'd hear would he his soft, strangled moans
but normally, hes pretty unfair
keeping you edged for hours, toying with your nipples, and the teasing words that would come from his mouth
saying things like, "ah, you can wait," as he edges you
so mean smh
#genshin smut#albedo smut#albedo#genshin impact smut#i love the J one so much#asoejfqieafdkjc#qii..nsfw alphabet
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