#you admit most bi women prefer men and rarely prefer women

[sapphicdessi]

lol so many bi radfems argue like reactionary manipulative queerio tras and liberals when they're called out for homophobia or told of their privilege ://

#the bihet victim complex #lmao saying someone is calling bisexuals evil for calling out your denial and downplaying of your privilege/homophobia come on #bi women are obsessed with saying liking men is oppression #treating it like it's homosexuality itself #and that gays are oppressing them for it #tra mental gymnastics in all bi communities aside from febfems which many also dislike #it's amazing the community obsessed with converting gay people or showing/telling men lesbians aren't real and can be fixed #has such a victim complex #such narcissism #bisexuals force gay people to always centre and talk about their osa and treat it like oppression #they act like it's an EXTRA struggle over gay people #what other community gets away w this shit #osa don't see lesbian as people #bi women are especially horrible to lesbians despite being ssa so like stop acting like we need to bond w homophobes #“lesbians are oppressing me by assuming I won't be serious about women” #it's a pattern and not our fault your community sucks. that you're so male centric male obsessed homophobic/misogynist and prefer privilege #you admit most bi women prefer men and rarely prefer women #and no “settling” for women bc men are shit and annoy you isn't preferring women #it's exhausting hearing the most homophobic women complain about homophobia like LOOK IN THE MIRROR you hate homosexuals yourself

[bi-lesbian]

So I've read and seen shit over the years where self-identified gay men have admitted to being like a Kinsey 5 and sometimes/very rarely being interested in women (very infamously, Stephen Fry has an interview where he talks about having feelings for a woman co-worker), and their gayness is never questioned? It's maybe in part because people don't think men can be bisexual at all, but it's weird that these men can admit to a bisexual attraction while having a gay identity and no one bats an eye.

oh ! i never heard of the kinsey scale before, i just looked it up tho, thats neat :Oo that does seem to be a good thing to use to help describe specifics of sexualities sometimes !

also yeah man.. in my experience, gay, at least for men, is not discoursed/policed anywhere near the point the lesbian label is. and my suspect is that its probably mostly bc of political lesbianism/radfem rhetoric. if the idea of "you have to completely separate from men to be a "true" lesbian and a "true" feminist, or youre aiding in womens oppression by sleeping with men" didnt spring up around the 70s to make lesbian into an exclusionistic political identity, i dont think lesbianism would be argued and policed on so much.

and also, seriously how can anyone not see how biphobic that is??? political lesbianism literally says liking men makes ur support/love of women lesser, that you cant be fully trusted if you associate with men, and that its aiding in your own oppression if you do. (thats also a bad mindset to force onto straight women feminists if thats the only gender they like and they really want to be in relationships- but thats a bit off topic since im focusing on bi & lesbian relations rn fjzkjf)

i just. really really hate how normalized this exclusionistic view of lesbian is. the more and more i look into the history of this, the more blatantly biphobic shit i find and its just so fucking uncomfortable. im so tired of it all !! im so tired of lesbian being policed on so many different and way more standards than every other fucking label ! identity policing is exhausting and Ngl kinda fucking drives me crazy sometimes

ppl can be technically bi but use gay/lesbian or whatever else if they feel more described with those labels (like having very minor attraction to other genders, so prefer to state the gender/s they like most). or ppl can be gay/lesbian but use bi if they wanna for liking multiple genders (like only women and enbies or only men and enbies). or use multiple ones for labels like bi lesbian ! or use neither ! other things! whatever! ppls experiences are vast and its why we have such a vast range of terms ppl like to use to label themselves with! we dont need to fit into just a few neat boxes or have those boxes be extremely strict and separate

#bi lesbiask #bi lesbian #biphobia #explanation #a bit-

[badheart]

So having chatted about it today, let me delve into Kugo’s gay side. It is not frowned upon, homosexuality was even a thing in the past of Japan, like by the Samurai. But it still can have some sort of taboo vibes, you won’t really talk about it openly. To sum it super roughly up.  

Either way, he actually bi (but gay, feels sometimes like a term for it all, idk) but right now, I want to talk about his preference for guys, which clearly went downhill once he got older, considering how fixated he is on women then. As kid, he always got more along with boys, he could be more honest with them and not hold back, girls need to be treated respectfully and nicely, that much could his mother still teach him before she left and with that, he clearly lost an important role in his life (considering there was no one anymore who would really bother to tell him what is okay and what is not, his father certainly did not)

Some early hints had been there, he actually liked dressing up in more fancy stuff. His mother sure caught him more than once playing with her dresses. Reminder, she is from India, of course, she owns some sari and fancy garments with a lot of patterns, glitter and everything. Any kid would love that. Both his parents were slightly irked about it, considering apart of it, Kugo acted like a typical boy. Though to that age, still more friendly. He was a cute kid, got mostly along nicely with the others

// We all know Kugo is pale as fuck in canon, but surely you have noticed, I have been drawing him more darker since a while, due to his indian side (a hc), so definitely need to fix my about evtl. Looking at documentaries, stories, Mixed Race in Japan have it sometimes harder too, some are lucky, some are not and have to face actual discrimination. 

Perhaps, he even used the lipstick of his mother once, just being playful, curious and sure as hell finding it pretty. This was eventually not tolerated anymore, though the reasons as of why, still confused him, though he had to admit, he had not met any other boy yet, who held the same interest. Kugo was not the deep thinker now though and would not really question himself. He was simply different, that was all. Also when his mother left, there was nothing left from her belongings anymore. Since then, he was pissed at his parents anyway and adapted a more rebellious style. But you can still experience his love for fancy outfits & such later. Not really on himself anymore, but on others. He loves make-up on women and revealing outfits, but also less revealing, if they are very nicely decorated like a sari and even kimono, which he won’t admit so quickly. Also he developed a certain liking towards roleplay, even slipping into specific outfit for it. Seeing men with make-up irritates him, that this is really something they still do now, but if it looks good, he gonna like it but if it is too much, nope. Not anymore. I think a Drag Queen could intimidate him as they usually look super fancy and over-done but are prideful as heck in what they do. His deep respect for that, personally he actually started to care about society, trying to keep up a certain image of a man. But also for himself, for him it embodies strength and certainly (due to society) more people will take him more seriously. The most fancy stuff you will see him wearing now are fancy, colourful shirts, which can have all kind of pattern but he actually prefers flowers. With still wearing mostly dark clothing though, it will remain rather subtle.

As he became older, it became more clear to him, that he really preferred the company of other boys more than girls. Though, he would still interact with some girls too, of course and find them pretty. But on a more emotional level, he felt at first closer to boys.

This was not something, he had ever really voiced to his father or to anyone, though there was the small desire to share it. And sometimes there was indeed the wish his father would care more about him again.

His first crush, he had with 16 and that was a 19 year old boy called Jian. More here. Either way, after that relationship ended, he was devastated, as he had actually loved him, though if it really was real in the end is another question, he really is never too sure but he definitely knows, that Jian had been important to him and that he had enjoyed to be with him. After him, Kugo would maybe still try his luck with boys, but more on a sexual level but his confidence was certainly slacking. He could perfectly make out with them, but if it ever came to the actual act, he got difficulties or even left. Too much pressure, while he was not loving them now, it was still important to him (as he is a pleaser - despite his ego, or especially because of his ego - because what kind of man would he be, if he does not manage to please his partner?) And for the act, he really lacked the confidence and experience, so it was always a bit weird too. 

In the end, he would still flirt but even that became a rarity as he began to focus on girls from now on and that had been a far more pleasant experience, and easier. Must sound bit weird now, but their genital is certainly more made to be entered than the ass. Additionally, he felt more in control, even if a girl were more on the dominant side, though he developed a tendency to avoid those. One can still catch him off guard if done well. 

Thanks to all the women though, he also became more confident in gay sex again (but it really was a rarity in his life), though it is still possible to notice a certain insecurity and he would never bed a male virgin (unless they turn out to be the love of his life), for that he really is not the best partner in his opinion. He really targets more experienced men then, reasons he developed a liking for slightly more older ones then. By guys, he really searches for more experienced ones. Younger types only, when they got a punk look, that is a style, he is still secretly (or not) weak to, but even there, preferably someone more experienced, who has no issue to prepare themselves.

Kugo is not overly open about that side, though if it comes up, he will talk casually about it, but yeah otherwise, he will rarely mention his affairs with guys, he really speaks more of all the women he has dated, rarely dropping any hints about any guys. Even if he talks about his one love/crush, which is rare, he tends to hide his gender at first. He is not ashamed of this side, liking men, but he is not living it so much out either anymore. 

#✖cution ━ ❛ hc. #whew

[bentonthegay]

This is why overlapping identities are important

So here’s the thing. People like to point out how “X is just Y!!! Just admit you’re Y-phobic!!” Because they see overlaps in definitions. The reason why these exist is because people deserve to feel comfortable in their label. For instance, just because your pansexual doesn’t mean you’re biphobic, you just don’t personally feel comfortable with that label, or feel it doesn’t grab the whole picture of who you are. Another controversial example is homoflexible and heteroflexible. People constantly shout how it’s biphobic and they’re just bisexual with a preference...When..that isn’t the case. People don’t understand that “exceptions” to a usual orientation aren’t the same as a preference. A preference is preferring something over something else, but you still like that something else to a certain degree. An exception is different. An exception is like a very rare occurance. For example, Maybe you usually eat fruit and have no interest in vegetables. But very very rarely or under specific circumstances, you do have an interest in eating vegetables. It’s not a preference, you just usually don’t like vegetables. Hetero/homoflexible are the same. You are USUALLY ONLY attracted to a certain gender, but you acknowledge that you maybe have been attracted to someone else in the past, but they were an exception, and you like nobody else sexually/romantically of that gender, just that specific person. Knowing this happened in the past, you may not want to exactly call yourself gay or straight, but bisexual doesn’t feel right either. So homo/heteroflexible is I suppose a “Middle ground” for lack of a better word. You aren’t bicurious, because you know you have been attracted to someone of that gender, rather than being unsure or curious of how you feel.

Pansexual, Polysexual, And hetero/homoflexible do not erase the meaning of bisexual and they don’t exclude them. They’re all a part of the same pie. They all experience some form of multisexual attraction, but they are all separate pieces of the puzzle. It is wrong to accuse bisexual people of being transphobic just for being bisexual, just as it’s wrong of accusing someone who is the others of being biphobic, just for being something other than bisexual. (Both instances exist, but they do not make up a large portion of each community, there’s exclusionists in basically ALL communities)

Now onto the gender side of this. We see terms that widely overlap, but have slightly different meanings. For instance, there are many ways to describe my gender, but I picked the one that made me most happy and comfortable and I felt it captured how I feel about my gender better than the other labels I knew of. I identify as an Agender Guy. Which to me, means that most of the time I don’t feel any gender, and rarely experience feeling male. But I always want to pass as male, be perceived as a guy around cis people, I wish I had a male body, and I don’t mind being gendered as a male. I am agender, but I’m also very much a guy. Even more rare than male, I feel almost androgynous, but I don’t really include it in my gender label as it’s very rare and is more of a more androgynous masculine feeling)  Gender is more than the gendered feeling you feel. Your connection to gender can vary. Which is why we have masculine-aligned nonbinary people, because they may not experience the male gender, but they feel they’re very tied to masculinity.

There are definitely other terms that could describe me, as mine is just a mix of the words “agender” and “guy” with my own meaning. I defined it my way.

For instance,

Demiboy,

Transmasculine agender

Transmasculine nonbinary

Proxvir

Boyflux/Genderflux

Agender masculine (Similarly, Libramasculine, I coined agender masculine as an alternative if you don’t want to use zodiac names, and it has a slightly different definition)

Nonbinary Trans guy

Genderqueer

Bigender (Agender + Male)

Trigender (Agender + Male + Androgyne-masculine/Androx)

Genderfluid

The list could probably go on.

My point is, is that labels exist to help us define ourselves and find communities of like-identified people who we can connect to. One of these labels never takes meaning away from other similar labels. They all have meaning to those who use it. You’re not X-phobic for being something other than “X”. You’re X-phobic if you have negative thoughts and feelings about the “X” identity or anyone who uses that identity. Gender is more than black and white, and we’re blessed with the language people have brought to the table. Because it gives us more options than the general LGBTQIA. But we still all fall under that umbrella. There are people who have used a common label for a long time because it was closest to how they felt but still weren’t content but found something similar but different and felt less paranoid about being “different than most people who identify as X” and felt happier with that label.

Don’t let ANYONE tell you who you are. YOU know who you are! If polysexual makes you happy and feel good and bisexual doesn’t? That’s okay! It exists for people who feel polysexual describes them better.

If bisexual makes you feel good but you could technically identify as pansexual but it didn’t feel right? That’s okay! Bisexual makes YOU happy that’s what matters.

Maybe you identify as the lesser known omnisexual but keep being told you’re just a pansexual who “wants to feel special”. You matter too! Your identity and how you label yourself is completely valid.

Maybe you identify as an abinary gender like neutrois, maverique, or agender but don’t feel female and are AMAB, but are also transitioning medically because that’s the body you want and not tied to your gender, Because sex doesn’t always equal gender. You exist and matter, and you if you don’t feel demigirl or something similar fits you, then you keep the identity you have!

Nobody has to fit EXACTLY into strict definitions to identify as something that feels comfortable. Sometimes the best we can do is find something “close enough” until we find something that works. Bisexual means 2 or more, and if you’re attracted to men, women, and nonbinary people, that is 2 or more. So you don’t have to pick pansexual or polysexual if you’re happy. Some definitions are left more open for that reason. Polysexual means many but not all genders. It doesn’t specify how many you have to be attracted to. Attracted to men, and all masculine genders?  Attracted to all genders but men? Attracted to all nonbinary genders but not people who are strictly binary? Those all COULD fall under polysexual

Sorry this was long, but I’m tired of seeing comments like “X IS JUST Y!!!” and “Y-PHOBIC!!” When that doesn’t have to be the case. When I was explaining hetero/homoflexible, people kept calling me biphobic. All because I said this identity exists and how SOME people see the differences between the two. Exceptions does not equal preference. But they don’t seem to get that. But others who were bi agreed with me. There’s nothing wrong, transphobic, or enbyphobic about being bisexual. The identity itself isn’t any of those things, though people who ARE bisexual CAN be those things, just like any other LGBTQIA+ person can be “phobic” against other LGBTQIA+ labels. We’re all under this umbrella together, after all, so we shouldn’t be trying to invalidate other people’s experiences when we don’t sit in their shoes or experience their lives and emotions.

I’m also tired of being told I can’t be agender AND a guy. Because the way some people see gender is very inaccurate. It’s a spectrum, and you can fall on multiple spots on the spectrum in different ways, shapes, and shades.

Keep being you, and don’t let people gatekeep your experiences.

#Gender #Sexuality #overlapping identities #Long Post

[transamorousnetwork]

Letters@The Transamorous Network

Editor's note: In this series, we'll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone's privacy:

Hi,

I for most of my life have lived and thought of myself as a straight man. Now though I feel I am also attracted to trans women pre and post SRS. I prefer women but I'm also attracted to trans women. I am from India and we have this under a taboo subject line. So I haven't told anybody yet. I just want to understand my sexuality better. I have only felt sexual attraction to trans women yet, maybe because I don't know any trans women. If you were familiar with India, you would probably know that here transsexuals don't really live with everyone else as a community. They are sent or left with other transsexuals and don't really come in contact with the rest of the society generally. I hope you'll understand my confusion and help me understand my sexuality. I accepted it quite some time ago. The first time I felt it, I was scared but soon I realised it's who I am, and accepted it.

Kumar K.

Hi Kumar,

That you are writing us indicates your willingness to want to understand more of what and who you are. Congratulations! Yes, we’re very familiar with how Indian society regards Hijira. Here are some things to consider, based on what you wrote:

Regarding your sexual orientation: It doesn’t matter if you’re bi or straight….or even gay really. Although “totally” gay men aren’t usually attracted to transgender women because gay men are attracted to men. However, we have had both gay men and gay women (lesbians) contact us asking for help with their attraction to trans men and trans women. The point is, whether you're "straight" or not doesn’t matter.

That said, some transgender women who aren’t fully secure in who they are, avoid men who are bi or otherwise not "straight". That's because some transgender women feel insecure about themselves. They feel insecure because they tell stories that conjure insecurity. Rather than changing their stories, finding their invincibility then dating from there, they try soothing their insecurity through validation from prospective partners.

So a “totally straight" man is usually what they are looking for because a “totally straight” man will validate that they are women. A guy who is somewhere in the middle, i.e. not so straight, will trigger their stories and thus their insecurity.

The problem with insecurity-producing stories is they match the story teller with people who are themselves insecure. This is why so many trans women complain about DL men: they meet so many DL men because DL men are insecure and thus match the women's insecurity.

Everyone always meets their match. If you're insecure, you're going to meet insecure people when dating.

That said, there are lots of transgender people who are secure in their self-awareness, their stories and beliefs and choose partners from there. Such trans women are open to men who are not totally straight because the men's non-straightness doesn't threaten the women.

Your orientation is not that important relative to your attraction. But your stories about your orientation create circumstances consistent with them. You just want to be aware of that.

A "straight man” is always attracted to attractive transgender women…until they find out the woman is trans. This is because the idea of a “transgender" person threatens their insecurity (their negative stories about themselves) as a straight man, in the same way a bi male might threaten the insecurity of a transgender woman. Is this making sense to you?

So a straight man is usually at the very least intrigued….when they meet an attractive transgender woman. A secure straight man would not be reviled by the presences of a transgender woman, for example.

On your preferences: Good for you. As you come more into owning who and what you are, you may refine your preferences. But for now, it’s totally ok to have the preferences you have.

On taboos: One of the reasons you chose to be born in India is to explore your sense of self-identity juxtaposed against a society which is very strict about how one thinks about one's self compared to others. You also are there to “shake things up”. This is, generally, what all trans-attracted men came to do. Same with transgender women.

You came into the world appreciating the marvelous diversity of life. The more you are secure with who you are, you give room for others to do the same. If you think about this regarding the women you now accept being attracted to, you offer them a great gift: proof through your sincere, honest and transparent attraction to them that they are worthy of being. And of being loved. That’s huge.

It’s a fascinating journey Kumar. One that has lots of wondrous experiences in store for you.

TTN

Hi again,

Thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it and would like to answer that yes I understand what you are saying. If I am being completely honest with you I would say I prefer women. I always have and it's natural to me. But I also find trans women attractive as I already said in my last email. I don't really care if they are pre SRS, I am still attracted to them. Because post SRS they are basically women. They don't need to explain themselves to anyone. I won't so much say that I am attracted to men, but yes I have thought as far as a kiss maybe, but nothing more, and it has only happened on rarest of rare occasions. To be exact, twice. It's just really freeing to actually Converse with someone about this. Thanks for the reply. It really means a lot to me.

Kumar

Hi again Kumar,

You’re welcome. Good you’re understanding. It’s ok to prefer women. You haven’t been with a transgender woman yet 😂.

It's interesting too that you're exploring outer edges of who you are, for here in your second reply you admit experiencing physical intimacy to some degree with men. This shows this whole idea of "straightness" filled with more holes that most people think. Humans would be better off dropping stories claiming there's only "men" and "women" and "Gay" and "Straight".

Keep exploring!

TTN

#transgender #mtf positivity #mtf #pre op mtf #transwomen #transamorous #Transamorous Network #trans-attracted #trans-love #tgirls #tgirlsdoitbetter

[starsplit]

You realize that Sara's "self-identfication" was in a dream world where she wasn't even interested in Oliver, one of the two great loves of her life, and if applied to the real Sara goes against her previous, REAL statements of not having a preference, right? She's been shown to have genuine feelings for women on LOT even if they were flashbacks or short-term situations. She hasn't been allowed to show deep feelings for a man since Arrow. 1/2

So I’ll argue that we’re coming at this from slightly different places anon. I think that it is personal preference how to interpret Sara’s self identification in the dream world. I personally like to go with it, mostly because actually full out saying that bisexuality doesn’t HAVE to be 50/50 attraction is rare. And she says she PREFERS women. Sure in the dream world, events happened differently and she and Oli never had a thing, but that doesn’t erase her relationship with him in the real world. But that also isn’t the main point I was trying to make.

The point of my original post was referring to interviews during the offseason that said they were looking to ‘reestablish Sara’s bisexuality’. Which was an interesting turn of phrase in general because it doesn’t matter who we are currently sleeping with, we’re still bi. But. When tv producers say something like that, it’s usually more likely that it’s going to be all OH CHARACTER IS SLEEPING WITH SAME SEX HUMANS NOW! But. Sara’s situation in LoT is a bit different.

So for this particular point, I’m going to ignore Arrow. Arrow had her relationship with Oli and her relationship with Nyssa, and then they killed her off pretty terribly and I will quite happily admit I haven’t watched since (apart from her resurrection so I had some idea wtf was going on). So if we just look on LoT so far. The closest thing they’ve had to a serious relationship for Sara was Snart in season 1. Apart from that, they’ve had her amazingly casanovaing through history, seducing all the women, and just being generally awesome. In and of itself, I loved that. I loved that she got to go around and BE that character cause it was a lot of fun to see. Where a lot of my concern about this season comes from is based on offseason comments from the producers etc.

During the offseason, it was said that Sara would get a romantic storyline. It was also said that they planned to ‘re-establish her bisexuality’ which as I stated before, I really don’t like as a turn of phrase, but someone else said it, so we’re going to try to figure out what they think it means. So based on last season, re-establishing Sara’s sexuality in their minds probably means reminding the audience that she is, in fact, also attracted to men (how often this occurs can be debated but hey it’s not like it’s an exact stat, or even a stable stat in real life anyways so...).

So that statement combined with the ‘giving Sara a love interest’ made me wonder if they were trying to hint that the love interest would be male. Which, again, in isolation is not a problem. Where the problem lies for me (and this is how I feel about it - you can agree or not), is looking at the overall pattern shown over the course of LoT. Because if she ends up with a male love interest this season, her real relationship, and the only other quasi-romantic relationship shown over the course of LoT for Sara have been with men. And the only one-episode hookups have been shown with women. Which, okay you can argue bisexual, heteroromantic but I doubt the show is aware enough to explain that. So I doubt they are going to steer there. So what we are left with is that her serious relationships are with men, and her one off ‘crush of the week’ relationships are with women. And that’s a pattern.

So. This was a lot of attempts at background mindset, but now to the actual post. Her making that implication of having hooked up with the male time agent essentially breaks that pattern. It doesn’t allow the show to imply that her attraction to women is somehow...less valid than her attraction to men. Which I appreciate. It changes the overall pattern from ‘all male love interests get development over the course of a season while all female love interests only get a single episode and are rarely or never mentioned again’  to ‘her single quasi-love interest so far got development over the course of the season, and the people she kissed/slept with in one ep and were never mentioned again are not confined to just women’.

All of this said, this entire argument is coming from a point of view of media representation. It’s fucking difficult to represent bi characters well because as soon as they are in a long term relationship, people tend to shove them into one box or another. While those of us who ID as bi are welcome to live our lives and express our sexuality however the fuck we please, media needs to be aware of what is being implied by the story they are telling. For years, the only bi characters you saw on tv were either crazy serial cheaters, or essentially portrayed as straight, with an episode or two during sweeps week where they flirted with a woman, the show said LOOK WE HAVE BI REP, and then went back to completely ignoring that episode.

So all that to say. If she ends up with a male love interest this season? Okay. My personal preference would be otherwise mostly because it is still less common to see bi female characters end up with another female character (which, I mean no one said this relationship will last longer than the season so who knows). But. If she ends up with a male love interest this season, I am much happier now that the pattern has been broken and the implications aren’t quite as rigid.

I’m happy to discuss this more although my posts get somewhat long, so anon, you are welcome to message me if you want to continue this convo. If you’d like to stay on anon, ask box is fine, as always. But I don’t mind explaining where I was coming from with that post. Honestly I didn’t think anyone would really see it other than my followers because my posts don’t tend to go quite this wide, and most of my followers have seen me explain my feelings on this rather more eloquently over the past several months. So apologies if what I said came off in a way that made you uncomfortable.

#sara lance #ask #anon #legends of tomorrow #bisexuality #lgbt #Anonymous

[jewtastic]

ok but also on my other point-

tumblr, why you so weird about extremes? can we just fucking admit middle grounds are needed?

this push back against yaoi, and fetishistic approaches to gay/bi men is very needed, but the full wipe out of mlm content written by women, and enjoyed by women isn’t.

what we need, is the fucking middle ground.

you’re free to create and enjoy mlm content all you fucking want! I love reading about otps, I love a lot of the charity and acceptance it’s inspired! The art and fics are amazing and deserve to be made and seen... well, most of them. What’s lacking, is understanding. Write that mlm otp long fic- but do it with some goddamn grace and respect.

mlm are not here solely for your enjoyment, we’re real. We have real issues, ranging from not just homophobia, but to racism, abuse, ableism, colorism, classism, forced masculinity and over compensation of hypermasculinity- the list goes on.

referring to mlm content as only “yaoi” is not only dehumanizing, but it takes everything, the nuances that come with being an openly gay couple, and it shoves it into one small, voyeristic view of it, with little to no depth. There’s not even a true understanding of gay relationships, let alone gay sex.

“Seme vs Uke” isn’t a real fucking thing. Some people with dominant personalities like to bottom, shocking I know. Some men don’t have a preference. Some men don’t like sex at all. Oh wow. It’s almost like gay men can’t be classified into a “male or female” role in a relationship, because they’re two men.

stop womanizing bottoms. we’re men. it’s a gay relationship. we don’t need heteronormativity. bottoms aren’t going to be naturally “softer” or “sweeter” or feminine. One of my friends in an mma fighter, he has the stereotypical shaved head, tats everywhere, dominates in the ring, and he’s a bottom who loves to be spoiled with it. Preference in the bedroom rarely translates to personality outside of it. People like what they like, and just like straight women, they don’t go around shouting it in the workplace.

write as much mlm pwp as you fucking want, honestly I enjoy a good part of it, but do research on it. Write the sex with a modicum of understanding. Spit, lotion, chocolate sauce etc, don’t work as lube. You need actual fucking lube. There are more ways to have sex with another man than just anal. The same person may not be on the bottom every time. Assholes have to be gently stretched open over time, not by just shoving a dick in. That fucking hurts. Though, tbh, some guys like that. And they don’t get “loose” oh my god. After sex, your asshole returns to the size it was before. Not immediately, but it still does. And if it doesn’t, there’s something medically wrong.

there is no such thing as “well he’s obviously gay!”

there is no such thing as “he acts gay”. You know who “acts gay” ? Gay men. Because they’re gay. Doesn’t mean they’re feminine, doesn’t mean they’re weird hypermasculine bullies that are just “secretly gay and prejecting uwu” We have personalities and differences, we’re just like “real men” that you’re constantly spouting off about being attracted too.

you can’t tell who’s gay just by looking, unless they’re dancing down the street with a sign that says “I’m gay”

people on tumblr are constantly going on and on about the fetishization of women and w/w in fiction, but the problem extends to mlm in fandom as well. We don’t face nearly as many issues of fetishization in mainstream media, simply because instead we’re reduced to jokes, scares to threaten the main man’s masculinity, as if gay men are just “really women”, an argument used to dehumanize and other gay/bi men for decades. different problems don’t mean we don’t have any problems at all.

being a queer woman or enby does not excuse you from fetishization or homophobia. if a gay man says you hurt them, you shut the fuck up, you as “How? What can I do better?” and you respect what they say. You don’t have to agree with everything, this is where tagging and personal accountability comes in on both sides, but I bet you that if one person decided it was bad enough not to shrug off as another microaggression and come to you about it, that you need to do some serious self reflection.

gay and bisexual men exist in fandom spaces, and we deserve to feel just as comfortable here as you do.

#mlm #mlm fetishization #long post #hate and attacks will be blocked without comment #because as a gay man #i aint got time for that shit #hannibal fandom i am looking at you #and i'm looking at you hard

[atundratoadstool]

Hello! For your headcanons challenge: Lucy, No.2, 6, 7, 8, 13, 21, 31, 45. Have fun! ;)

Okay. I am still dedicated to finishing this still yet unfinished meme from like two months ago because I absolutely love coming up with very very detailed headcanons about the cast of Dracula and I absolutely love all you guys for bothering to ask me about them. 

2. Do they have any daily rituals?: We all know she’s totally got endless, gorgeous, pre-Raphaelite hair going on (even if we don’t know what color it is), and that she does that whole 100 strokes business every night. While it’s less of a daily ritual, her hypersensitive temperament is such that her environment tends to affect her emotions, and she probably nervously tidies something or fetches some fresh flowers for a room on a daily basis (She knows that there are maids to do this, but she really doesn’t like bothering them.) She also will sometimes have a stint where she regularly reads, or diaries, or tries to brush up on her French or the smattering of German Mina taught her, but she’s bad at making these things a rote habit.

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu: Lucy really likes to eat when she’s happy and in good health, and the novel seems to indicate that she was somewhat anemic and sickly prior to Dracula’s assaults and that Arthur and Mina seem to be glad when she appears to put on a little weight. It’s probably some sort of stereotype in which I correlate a sweet personality with a love of sweets, but I definitely see her being a big fan of desserts and I envision her being very enamored of fancy, cute things with stuff like candied flowers on them. Outside of that, I see her as preferring her meat in pies and soups rather than as part of a roast, given that the later resembles a living animal just a bit more and makes her a bit sad. She also possibly enjoys some manner of Irish and/or Dutch cuisine, as the surname Westenra (which appears elsewhere in Stoker’s work) is associated with the Irish baronetcy of Rosshire, the Barons of which had Dutch ancestry (a trait that the Stokers allegedly shared).

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Lucy’s not completely self-conscious about wasting time, although she worries about anything that might be seen as some manner of imposition on others and she’s a little sensitive about undertaking activities that might be construed as frivolous and/or vain. As mentioned here, she likes fashion more than she admits and reads terrible novels; she also enjoys going to pops (obviously), fiddles about with sketching and watercolors, and tries –without complete success— to imitate Mina’s sundry hobbies.

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging: She really enjoys things that are super elaborate but either ephemeral or hard to notice: cakes with extremely work-intensive piping, really expensive/detailed jewelry that looks very unflashy, rare flowers or fruit – that sort of thing. As with time-wasting, she’s can be a little guilty about the trouble people might go to for her, but she so fully appreciates that little details of things like this that she never thinks of herself as being less than grateful.

13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?: She’s bi and possibly even a little more attracted to women than she is to men. While I don’t think she’s exclusively attracted to women as she is in Elka Cloke’s “Bloofer Ladies” and I do think she utterly adores Arthur, I am sort of on board with the idea floated by Cloke that she got engaged to Arthur shortly after Mina got engaged to Jonathan and she had to confront the fact that the two of them probably weren’t going to get to be spinsters together. Given Mrs. Westenra’s willingness to engage in what seems to be really unhealthy secrecy regarding things like her own impending death and her decision to make Arthur her heir, I sort of imagine that Lucy’s somewhat sheltered with regards to her knowledge of sex and sexuality in general and, but that she sees absolutely nothing wrong with being deeply in love with anyone.

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?: I’m going to borrow from Stoker’s other work like I always do because, let’s face it, Stoker only knew how to write like three women. Within that context, I definitely envision Lucy as an “Oh gosh! I love chivalry and like to imagine strong handsome men saving me and me saving strong handsome men!” sort of Stokerian heroine and decidedly not an “Oh gosh! My innately subservient feminine nature calls me to find someone to dominate me!” Stokerian heroine. This is the 1890s; fedoras are still a ladies hat associated with a hardcore princess/assassin and “m’lady” has yet to be thoroughly ruined, so people acting all faux knightly at you like you’re in a Tennyson poem is probably less cringe-worthy.

31. Most prized possession?: She’s very attached to the ring Arthur gave her, which does the Victorian DEAREST thing, only he wanted it to be unique, couldn’t find gemstones for half the letters in her name, and ended up spelling out her name’s meaning (LIGHT: Labradorite, Idocrase, Garnet, Heliotrope, Tourmaline) instead. This gives it the possibility of being an awesome symbolic artifact for the rest of the crew given how often that word seems to come up in relation to them.

I’m also fond of John Heimbuch’s decision to have Arthur give Lucy a music box (possibly channeling some Barnabas/Josette there?), and I sort of want to give him a nod given how well he managed to eerily reproduce so many of my other headcanons in his work.

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?: Lucy isn’t deep into the occult in a table-knocking, Psychical Research, “let’s see some ectoplasm!” way, but she’s the sort to buy into basic superstitions about luck and fate. As a schoolgirl, she was totally into doing those charms that are designed to predict your husband’s name, and she’ll definitely take stock in whatever somebody telling her fortune says unless it’s really unpleasant. I suppose that she’d be pretty open-minded about the supernatural if somebody around her was a believer, but sadly, she dies before anybody in her portion of the book is really talking about stuff.

#Bram Stoker #Dracula #Drakul #Lucy Westenra #Dracula headcanons #silly memes #elektra121

[achillestiel]

All The Glitters | Part One | ao3 Link

An UnReal/The Bachelor deancas au

Dean’s ass was numb. There was a shooting pain in his back and he was seriously sure that there was glitter stuck in his eye. That was sadly nothing new. That was just his life. His phone had been buzzing nonstop for the past fifteen minutes but from the position he was lying in, there was no way of reaching it.

Most twenty-seven-year-old men wouldn’t spend an evening lying on the floor of a limo while talking to a bunch of single, probably desperate, women. Dean, however, was used to it. He’d done it for so many years now that it was like second nature to him. It was more natural to him than breathing.

“Dean? Hey, Dean? Is the limo going to be stopping anytime soon? I really need to go to the bathroom.”

Dean lifted his head to see which one of the girls had spoken. Amelia. A tall, composed woman with ‘wife material’ practically stamped across her forehead. Dean could see why Josie selected her for the show.

“Can you hold it? We’re five minutes out.” Dean said from his position on the floor of the limo.

“Dean, this dress cost me $375. I do not want to pee on it.” Amelia said in a near whine. Dean wasn’t surprised that she needed to pee. They had been stuck in the fucking limo for over an hour already.

“If I distract you with who the suitor is will you hold it in?” Dean asked. Amelia sighed but nodded her head. With a flourish Dean held up a headshot of the current suitor for the show. “Castiel Collins, son of Dmitri Collins and heir to the entire family fortune. They’re the fifth richest family in America. If Daddy’s latest business deal goes through they’ll probably become the third richest.” The girls all squealed or made impressed sounds.

“Ok, I’ll say it. He’s a handsome guy.” Another girl said. Rachel. Dean had read her file and knew that she was studying to be a civil rights lawyer. Far too smart for the damn show. “What do you think Dean?” Rachel then asked. “Handsome right?”

“I’m not ending up with a ring on my finger.” Dean said. “I don’t have an opinion.” Ok, he had to admit that Castiel was a handsome fucker.

“We’re still going to ask you. You’re our producer.” Anna Milton said. She was pale and willowing with long red hair. From her file Dean knew she was also a lawyer. It was a surprise to have so many smart women on one season.

“Dean, is it true that one of the girls was sent home last year for screwing a cameraman?” Ruby asked. She was all legs, dark hair and devilish eyes. She was the clear frontrunner to become the show’s ‘Bitch’. She would be a rating goldmine.

“That really happened?” Amelia asked. Ruby nodded.

“Oh yeah, she banged one of the cameramen and then got thrown out. It was all over the internet.” Ruby said, sounding far too amused by the whole thing. Dean sighed and tried to ignore the conversation. “That’s true, right Dean?” Ruby pressed.

“Fine. Yes, it’s true. Don’t fuck any of the crew. Simple as that.” Dean said.

“Winchester where the hell are you? Limo one is duller than dishwater so I need your girls now!” Josie’s voice came screaming into his earpiece.

“We’re five minutes out.” Dean said into his mic. Five minutes and I’ll be back in the madness. Dean thought to himself. As the limo drove over a speed bump champagne was splashed onto his head.

“We’ve got five hours of hard night left Dean, we need these girls now!” Josie yelled back.

“We’re five minutes out Josie. Outside of shoving a firework up the driver’s ass, we’re still gonna be five minutes out.” Dean said with a heavy sigh. “We’re gonna do one last tits and teeth check. There’s not gonna be a stray eyelash or rogue nipple in sight.” Dean promised.

“God, I fucking love you Winchester. Welcome back.” Josie said.  

Yeah, he was definitely back to the madness.

The madness was Eternal Love. America’s number one dating show and a cultural smash. This had been his life, his whole world for the past eight years. He’d started as a shitty little intern at the age of nineteen and risen through the ranks to, finally, become the head producer. It helped that the showrunner and creator of the show, Josie Sands, loved him and basically treated him like a husband/son hybrid. Ok that was fucked up but Josie was the best in the business. She was driven, powerful and just a tiny bit scary. Ok, a lot scary. She had made interns piss themselves before.

“Hey Dean? Is there any members of the crew we can screw?” Ruby asked looking down at him, if she moved her leg even just a bit then Dean would have been able to see right up her dress. He really hoped that wouldn’t happen or that she was actually wearing underwear. “You know, just in case we get lonely or bored and Mr Moneybags doesn’t put out.”

“Honestly?” Dean asked. Ruby nodded sagely. “Don’t bother trying to screw the AD, he’s my brother and his fiancée Jess will make you all look like drag queens. She’s the head makeup artists.” Dean said. “If you get caught screwing a cameraman then you’re out. The showrunner is a woman and will eat you alive. Don’t think about fucking a producer so you can stay in the show, it never works.”

“So basically we can’t screw anyone?” Ruby asked, her eyebrow cocked sky high.

“Basically, yeah.” Dean said.

“Not even you?” She asked.

“I’d like to see you try sweetheart. I prefer dick to whatever you’re offering.” Dean said. All the girls looked down at him with surprised looks. “What? Oh yeah, like a straight guy would spend eight years giving a shit about this business.” He added while several of the girls snickered.

“Winchester, we’re a minute out.” The driver’s voice filled his ears.

“Josie, we’re a minute out.” Dean said.

“Thank fuck for that. The last limo of girls were the dullest bunch. Won’t last until the second episode. Get your skanks here now.” Josie replied.

“You girls ready?” Dean asked.

“I still need to pee.” Amelia whined.

“We’re a minute away, I promise. As soon as you meet Castiel you can sprint and piss.” Dean said.

“Fuck! Winchester stop the fucking limo! Move your toned ass out the damn car and get here now!” Josie screamed into Dean’s ear. Dean jolted from his spot on the floor. All five girls in the limo stared at him. Amelia, Rachel, Ruby, Anna and Daphne all stared at him with questioning looks.

“What’s wrong?” Dean said into his mic.

“That fucking drippy idiot intern lost the suitor!” Josie screamed.

“Frank!” Dean yelled to the driver. “Stop the limo!” The limo screeched to stop and everyone whined. “Everyone stay in the car.”

“Dean I really have to pee.” Amelia said. Dean glared at her. “Don’t look at me like that, I have to pee.”

“There’s bushes outside. If you have to go then go in the bush.” Dean said as hauled his body out the limo.

“Dean, I went to Yale. I am not going to the bathroom in a bush.” Amelia snapped.

“Yeah well my brother went to Stanford and he’s pissed behind most of these bushes.”

“The makeup artist is a lucky girl.” Ruby quipped.

“Right everyone hand over your phones, I won’t have time before you meet Castiel.”

“We don’t have our phones?” Ruby asked.

“Have you seen this fucking show before?” Dean snapped holding out his hands. “You get them back when you are kicked off the show or win.”

“So I’ll get it back when I win.” Ruby said. Dean rolled his eyes and turned to an intern who had sprung up outside the limo.

“Don’t let these girls leave this limo. If you do, Josie will kill you.” Dean said and took everyone’s phones off them before he slammed the limo door shut and took off in the run towards the Eternal Love mansion. He knew the place like the back of his hand. He spent every waking hour there when the show was filming and had done for eight years.

“Thank Jesus fucking Christ!” He heard Josie scream when he can running towards the driveway to the mansion. Lighting, cameras and members of the crew were everywhere. Several of the interns or cameramen stared at Dean. After last year, he really wasn’t too surprised.

“What happened?” Dean asked looking around. He could see several of the girls already standing around, jackets from the crew members thrown over their glitter covered evening dresses. “Someone lost the suitor?” He asked Josie. Her flaming red hair was all over the place and she looked as if she was about to murder someone.

“I am never trusting interns ever again. I was fucking blessed with you.” Josie snapped. “I put that new skinny one, I don’t know her name, on ‘suitor watch’ and she lost him. She lost him Dean. How can you lose a whole person?” She asked. Without even taking a breath Josie turned to face the rest of the crew. “If there is not a latte in my hand in less than a minute I will fire you all.” Her face was almost as red as her hair. “I will fire you all then destroy you. I know this mansion more than I know my vagina. I know where to bury your fucking bodies.”

“Josie, chill out. I can sort it.” Dean said. “Someone get her a damn latte and make sure it has three sweet-n-low in it and no foam!” He yelled to the crew. Three interns were already running off to the coffee cart.

“And a cigarette.” Josie said.

“You’re quitting.” Dean said. Josie’s nostrils flared. “And someone get her a box of Marlboros! Menthol!” Yet more assistants and interns went scurrying. “I’ll find him. I promise.” Dean said back to Josie. She gave him a rare smile, which still looked kind of scary, and let out a sigh.

“I love you Winchester. Fucking love you.” Josie said. Dean switched his radio over to Sam and Jess’ channel as he hurried over to wardrobe. “Have you seen our suitor anywhere?” he asked them.

“Nah, sorry Dean. I haven’t seen him since I did a quick powder on his face.” Jess, his brother’s fiancée and head of the makeup department, said. “Try wardrobe.”

“Scratch that Jess.” Came Dean’s brother Sam’s voice. “I saw him storming off towards the lake. Looked really pissed Dean so you better run.”

“Thanks Sammy.” Dean said quickly as he switched back to Josie’s main channel. Mainly to tell Josie but also so he didn’t have to hear his brother bitch him out for calling him ‘Sammy’. “Suitor’s by the lake. I’m gonna grab him.” Dean told Josie. “Got your coffee?”

“Yes and it is shit. I can’t trust anyone but you Winchester.” Josie replied. “I don’t care how you do it, just get my suitor back.” One day Josie’s head was just going to explode from stress. Dean would probably have to clean it up too. He didn’t complain too much because he had been a producer on the show ever since he was twenty-four. He didn’t know anyone else in the industry who had been given a producer role at such a young age. Without fucking their boss that was.

Taking off in a sprint Dean hurried over to the grand lake situated about five minutes away from the mansion. It didn’t take long to spot Castiel Collins. He was the only one who was here. Sat on a large rock, a trail of cigarette smoke curling above his head. When he heard Dean approaching his head whipped around.

“I am not going back to that madness.” He said quickly. “Who are you?” Castiel asked when finally looked at Dean’s face. His photos really hadn’t done him justice. The guy was a handsome motherfucker with dark hair, tanned skin and incredibly blue eyes. Even if he turned out to be the world’s biggest asshole the viewers would still love him.

Every woman in America is going to have dripping panties from the very first episode. That was how Josie had put it. She was kind of right.

“Hey, I’m Dean Winchester. I’m the head producer for the show. In fact, that makes me your producer.” That was sort of a lie. Normally Josie oversaw the suitors but Dean thought he would try his best to establish some respect from Castiel. “Mind if I sit down?” He asked.

“Are you going to make me go back there?” Castiel asked. Dean finally noticed how deep the guy’s voice was. He’d always been a sucker for deep voices. The female contestants would be ripping each other apart just to hear Castiel speak.

“Dude, you’re a human being. I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.” Dean said. “So, can I sit? I promise I won't try to make you go back there.”

“Fine.” Castiel said. Dean slowly walked over and sat down on the rock, right next to Castiel. “Want one?” Castiel asked holding out a crumpled packet of cigarettes. “I rarely ever smoke but this seemed like an appropriate time.”

“Sure.” Dean said. Castiel lit him a cigarette and handed it over. “This show makes anyone smoke like a chimney. My brother, he’s the assistant director, used to smoke like a fucking fiend until he met his fiancée.” Dean said. “So…what’s wrong man?”

“That show, it is crazy. It’s crazy.” Castiel said shaking his head.

“Yeah, it kind of is.” Dean said in agreement. Even after eight years he still found the show crazy.

“And that red-haired woman…”

“Josie?”

“Yes. She’s a piece of work.” Castiel said with a shake of his head. “Honestly, I don’t know why I’m here.”

“You’re Dmitri Collins’ son right?” Dean asked even though he knew everything about Castiel. It was his job to know everything. Castiel nodded his head. “He wants to buy part of the network doesn’t he? My boss, Josie, told me so. That must be why you’re here.” It was also because Castiel was one of the most eligible bachelors in the country but Dean wasn’t sure how Castiel would react to that.

“That sounds correct to me.” Castiel said between drags of his cigarette. “I just…I don’t know what on earth I am doing here. I’ve never watched this moronic show, no offence-”

“None taken man, I only watch this show because I work on it.” Dean said.

“Well I’ve never watched the show and I certainly don’t think I’m going to find love on a reality show.” Castiel said. “The whole idea just seems absurd.” He muttered as he glanced back towards the mansion. “The first car full of women…they just seemed to be here because of the cameras.”

Dean sighed heavily because that was true. They had a lot of contestants who only came onto the show to help their careers or to get exposure. Several of them went far, mainly because they were rating gold, while others didn’t make it past the third week.

“Look, I know that most people think that this show is just a load of bullshit and half the time they’re right. You’ve got a chance to find love, there are some pretty awesome women here. My limo was full of great girls.”

“This sounds like you’re trying to get me to go back to that mansion.” Castiel said warily.

“I’m just giving you my opinion. I mean, my job is on the line here but whatever. If you don’t want to be here then I can just go and get the standby guy.”

“There is a standby suitor?” Castiel asked. Dean nodded.

“Yeah, he’s some kind of doctor. Saved a load of dying kids in Africa.” Dean lied. There was no standby suitor but if it got Castiel back to the mansion then he was going to say anything. “Total ‘dreamboat’.” Dean said. He watched Castiel sit and think for several minutes.

“Dean! Where the fuck are you? Have you got him yet?” Josie screamed into his ear.

“Yeah, give me a minute Josie.”

“We’re losing hard light Dean!” Josie screamed.

“Give me a minute.” Dean snapped back. He knew if anyone else snapped at Josie then they would have been broken in half like a twig. Dean, however, could actually get away with it. “Can you make sure the standby suitor is on set?”

“Standby? Oh you fucking genius.” Josie replied.

“So we can head back now and you can hand things over to the other guy.” Dean said to Castiel. He pulled himself up off the rock, flicked his cigarette away, and turned back to Castiel. “You coming?” He asked. Castiel nodded and soon they were walking back to the mansion. Dean could see interns running around like headless chickens. When they spotted Dean and Castiel they looked even more frantic. Josie had probably dropped the ‘standby suitor’ bomb. Obviously, none of them had a clue what she was on about.

They were near the driveway when Castiel stopped Dean. “If I agree to do this then I want full control. I won’t do anything that I don’t want to do.” Castiel said. His voice was full of determination and Dean could tell that Castiel wasn’t a man to take any of Josie’s shit. She wouldn’t be able to the control him in the same way she had controlled the past suitors. “Can you promise me that?” Castiel asked Dean. That was a lot to ask of him.

“Dude, you’re gonna be told what to do a lot of the time. If you don’t want to do it then simply don’t do it.” Dean said. It would piss Josie off so much but Dean was willing to say anything if it meant Castiel staying on the show.

“Hey Deano! Found the runaway yet?” The voice of the show’s host, Gabriel, interrupted their conversation. Dean turned and saw the host waltzing towards him. Gabriel had hosted the show from the very beginning. He irritated Josie to no end but the viewers adored his quick wit and easy going personality.

“Yeah, he’s right here. We can get this show back on the road.” Dean said nodding over to Castiel. “I’m going to the control room to oversee everything.” He glanced over at Castiel. “If you need me for anything then just yell, ok?”

“Yes, thank you Dean.” Castiel said with a slight twitch of his lips that could have been a smile. Gabriel led him away back to the driveway while Dean hurried over to the control room. As he walked he saw several members of the crew continue to stare at him. He was half tempted to flip them off but he knew better at the end of the day.

Inside the control room. Josie was stood with the remains of her latte. Her steely eyes fixed on the monitors. Interns scurried around while the other producers were sat in their chairs, notepads in front of them and eager looks on their faces.

“Winchester!” Charlie Bradbury, a fellow producer, called out when she saw him. “You’re back.”

“Like I could leave this hellhole.” Dean quipped as he walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

“I wouldn’t have done this shit without you.” Charlie said.

“I wouldn’t let him even if he tried.” Josie said. “What’s the situation with the suitor?” She asked Dean, it was always business with Josie.

“It’s fine. I’ve got him back but I don’t think he’s going to respond to anyone else trying to produce him. It’s going to have to be me.” Dean said. Everyone stared at him. Josie had always been in charge of the suitors. True, Dean was the head producer but the role of producing the suitor had always fallen onto the showrunner.

“Are you sure you can handle that?” Josie asked, her eyebrow cocked. “Because if you fuck it up then the network will want you gone. I won’t have any say in the matter.” She meant that as well. Their network had final say over the show and if Dean screwed up in any way then he would end up without a job. That was a lot of pressure to have on his shoulders.

“I’m not going to fuck it up Josie, I promise.” Dean said. Josie gave him a long look, her mind was probably going over the previous year but shrugged her shoulders. She threw up her hands then threw herself back into her chairs.

While Dean got comfortable next to Charlie his eyes wandered to the huge board behind them. Every headshot of the girls appearing on the show was stuck onto the board, along with who was producing them and comments Josie had included. Under Dean’s name were photos of Amelia, Ruby, Anna, Rachel and Daphne along with Josie’s notes. Under Ruby’s photo, the word ‘VILLAIN’ was plain to see.

“Ok, let’s get this show back on the road. Cue limo!” Josie yelled into her mic. The limo housing Dean’s girls drove up the driveway. It came to a stop not far away from Castiel, who still looked incredibly nervous. “This is opening night! Let’s give them fantasy, love and…I don’t know a glitter unicorn and magical fucking vaginas.”

“Very poetic.” Charlie muttered.

“It doesn’t matter, this is all a bunch of crap anyway.” Josie said rolling her eyes. “Love and all that bullshit that America chomps down with a spoon.”

“Someone didn’t get that glitter unicorn she wanted when she was little.” Balthazar, a fellow producer muttered.

“Suck my dick Balthazar.” Josie snapped. “Come on, let’s get these girls in here so America can believe in love again!” She yelled.

“First girl, go.” Dean said into his own mic. The limo door opened and Anna gracefully stepped out. Several members of the crew let out whistled. She was gorgeous, Dean wasn’t about to lie and say she wasn’t. She rocked the willowy red head look for all it was worth and the deep green of her floor length ball gown looked great on camera.

“Damn, we know how to pick them.” Josie said as Anna glided towards Castiel, her smile lighting up the whole screen. “Stats!”

“Anna Milton. She’s twenty-six from Ohio and is training to be a human rights lawyer.” Dean said, quoting her file that he had memorised. “She’s an only child and paints in her spare time. She’s actually a really good artist, I saw a few of her drawings earlier on.”

“Plus she was ‘wife’ material stamped on her forehead.” Josie said. Charlie rolled her eyes because as soon as a girl was classed as wife material she was guaranteed to stay several weeks. On the screen Anna had pulled Castiel into a hug, her smile beaming.

“Hi, I’m Anna. It’s lovely to meet you.” Anna said, her voice strong but warm.

“It’s lovely to meet you too Anna.” Castiel said, smiling at her politely. Dean could still see the nerves in Castiel’s eyes but his smiled looked genuine and Dean knew the audience would eat this up.

“Someone shove a firecracker up his ass.” Josie muttered.

“I’m really excited to meet you Castiel.” Anna said on the screen, her smile bright.

“Thank you…you look stunning.” Castiel said as he gave Anna a kiss on the cheek.  

“She should do, that dress looks like it cost a fucking fortune.” Charlie said.

“Her mother made it actually.” Dean said from his seat. “They’re really close and her mom made her a lot of her clothes.”

“How do you know all this shit?” Balthazar asked.

“I was stuck in a car with them for over an hour. I know shit loads about my girls.”

“That reminds me, if you’re producing Castiel then you have to go over his file.” Josie said as she watched several screens at once. Dean nodded as Anna walked into the mansion and the next contestant stepped out the limo. Ruby grinned at Castiel she strode over to him.

“And here’s my villain.” Josie said as she looked over Ruby in her skin tight black dress. “Winchester, tell me about her.”

“Ruby Cortese, she’s twenty four and from Nebraska but now lives in L.A. She’s currently a waitress.” Dean said. “She’s basically a bitch on heat.” He added. “She’s already said that she’d ‘shank a bitch’ to get to the final two.”

“That would be damn good television.” Charlie said.

“Well hello gorgeous.” Ruby said as she looked over Castiel and instantly went in for a kiss. Castiel looked utterly taken aback.

“Nice. Who told her to do that?” Josie asked.

“Me, I mentioned to her that Castiel likes the whole public display of affection.”

“Does he?” An intern asked.

“Who fucking cares? This makes for good TV. The audience will hate her. It’s fantastic. Well done Winchester.” Josie said with a grin like a Cheshire cat.

“He looks like a rabbit caught in headlights.” Charlie said.

“If her dress was any shorter then he’d be caught in her vagina.” Balthazar quipped from his seat. Josie chuckled with laughter but didn’t say anything else. Dean could tell that she was already planning several scenarios with Ruby being a bitch.

Ruby sauntered off, giving Castiel a wink as she went, while Amelia glided out the car. Her dress looked good on camera and Dean could see the words ‘Wife Material’ practically stamped on her forehead.

“Stats!”

“Amelia Everett. She’s twenty-nine and from Chicago. She has a dead husband and a two-year-old daughter.” Dean said. He’d actually had a long conversation with Amelia about her daughter. Her name was Claire and she was Amelia’s whole world.

“Excellent, we can milk that for all it’s worth.” Josie said. From anyone else that would have been a sickening comment but this was Josie. Dean was used to it by now.

The rest of Dean’s girls made their introductions to Castiel. They were soon followed by Charlie and Balthazar’s girls.  There were nonstop comments all the while.

“Those are some bad fake boobs.”

“Why did you give me this girl Josie? She’ll be lucky to last the night.”

All the while Dean could see that Castiel was nervous and really didn’t want to be there. Once all the girls had made their introductions Gabriel swooped in to announce that the cocktail party would start straight away.

“And cut!” Josie yelled. “Right, everyone get your asses down there and produce the shit out of your girls. I want drinks and hands at all times and killer fucking TV or I’ll rip your balls off. Protect the wives, pickle all the other girls. You get cash bonuses for nudity, cat fights and a promotion if we need to call 911.” She caught Dean’s eye and motioned him to follow her into her office. Dean pulled himself out his chair and went off after Josie. “You ok?” Josie asked once they were in her office.

“Uh…yeah…why?” Dean asked.

“Because you’re back in this shit storm even after last year.” Josie pointed out. “Look, I know I’m not all fuzzy and full of happy but you’re my little warrior. I need my knight by my side during this bullshit. I need to know you’re ok.”

“Last year…last year was bullshit but I’m ok. I promise.” Dean said as he desperately tried not to think about the year before.

“I’m pissed that Castiel wants you to produce him but I’m going to let it slide. You’re my second in command so I suppose you can handle it.”

“Thanks Josie.”

“Now go and produce the skanks and shove a firecracker up Collins’ ass. He’s ‘dreamy’ but boring.” Josie said dismissing Dean with a wave.

“You have such a way with words.” Dean muttered as he walked out the office. He quickly made his way to the huge patio area where the introduction cocktail party was happening. Already every single one of the ladies had a large drink in their hands. Dean spotted Anna and Rachel talking to one another while Amelia and Daphne were talking to a few of Charlie’s girls. Ruby was stood talking to a few of Balthazar’s girls with a smirk on her face.

“You know, she made me adjust her make up three times.” Jess, Sam’s fiancée, said as she walked up to Dean. The makeup artists were always on hand for emergency lip gloss application. “And she keeps making eyes at Sam.”

“Hey, I told all of them that the AD was off limits.” Dean said. Jess gave him a thankful look before her face turned sad. “Before you ask, I’m fine. Seriously Jess, I am fine.” Dean said quickly before Jess could say anything. True, Sam and Jess had been amazing after the shit storm of last year but Dean was done talking about it. “Come on, I’ve got a job to do.” He added as he looked over the girls.

“Suitor coming on set!” An intern said through Dean’s earpiece. Seconds later Gabriel came walking out onto the patio. All the girls cheered and clapped. Gabriel soaked it all in with a huge grin. He was made for TV. Dean had always thought that they had hit the jackpot when casting Gabriel as the host.

“Ladies, Castiel is on his way and he’s very excited to get to know all of you a bit better.” Gabriel said. “So enjoy yourselves and later on we will be having our first rose ceremony.” All the girls clapped at that but looked nervous. The rose ceremony was a big thing. The suitor would give roses to the women he wanted to keep on the show each week. Dean had seen many women cry over the years when they hadn’t been given a rose.

While Gabriel was hyping up the contestants Dean went into the house to find Castiel. Castiel was stood waiting for his cue. Though, by the look on his face it was as if he were walking to his death. Dean gave him a quick smile as he hurried over to him.

“You ok dude?” Dean asked him.

“This is a circus. When this is all over, remind me that I greatly dislike my father.” Castiel said with a shake of his head.

“Hey I get that. I got daddy issues coming out the wazoo.” Dean said. “But you ok? Gabe is going to announce you in a minute then you have to go out there a schmooze.”

“Fantastic.” Castiel muttered sarcastically.

“Look, I know this really isn’t your thing but America eats this shit up. They love this goddamn show. Just smile, flirt with the girls and make a good show then the world is your oyster.” Dean said. This felt weird, it was the first time that a suitor hadn’t been interested in the show.

“You’re selling a lie though, you understand that right? Do any of the people on this show actually find love?” Yeah, the cameraman and that bitch from last year Dean thought before he pushed that thought to the back of his mind.

“Last year’s couple are still together. They’re planning a Christmas wedding. A couple from a few years ago are now expecting a kid. Sure, some of them break up after but sometimes they actually find love and all that bullshit.”

“Do you actually believe that?” Castiel asked him.

“Fuck no.” Dean said with a snort. “I do this job because I’m fucking good at it. Now come on, I’ll be out there coaching you if you need it.” He added.

“Let me introduce to you this year’s Eternal Love suitor, Castiel Collins!” They heard Gabriel said from outside.

“Showtime.” Dean said practically pushing Castiel out the door. He quickly hurried out a side door to watch the drama unfold. All the girls cheered when Castiel came and greeted them. Charlie, Balthazar and other producers flitted around off camera.

Dean was walking over towards his girls when he spotted a familiar jawline. A very familiar jawline. The owner of that jawline was holding a steady cam and focusing on a few of the girls. What the fuck? What the actual fuck?

“Jack?” Dean asked, hoping and praying that it wasn’t him. The guy turned towards him and Dean felt his heart drop towards his stomach. It was him. It was fucking him. What the hell was he doing here? Josie had fired him the year before. Jack carefully put down his steady cam.

“Hey Dean.” Jack said. Fuck, he still sounded exactly the same.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Dean asked him. They hadn’t spoken since Jack had been fired and Dean really wasn’t keen on talking to him now. Still, he wanted to know why the fuck Jack was here.

“My job?” Jack guessed motioning to the steady cam.

“Josie fired your ass.”

“Yeah well Crowley brought me back. Apparently, I’m the best cameraman you guys have.” Jack said looking embarrassed. Fucking Crowley. Fergus Crowley was the creator of the show, Josie’s boss and the biggest dick on the face of the planet. “So…how have you been?”

“Fantastic.” Dean said sarcastically. Jack’s brows creased together at Dean’s tone and he couldn’t help but let out a snort. “Did you think I’d be happy to see you?” He asked.

“It’s been a year Dean, more than enough time to get over something.”

“Over something? That’s what you want to call it? Bullshit.” Dean said. “Why did you even come back here? Everyone knows what you did and they fucking hate you for it.”

“I’m here to do my job Dean. Josie might have fired me but I’m back, I am here to do my job.” Jack said trying to square up against Dean. It didn’t work seeing as Jack was a good few inches shorter than Dean.

“Yeah and I’m here to do my job so fuck off.” Dean snapped.

“This is boring Dean. I want good interviews with the girls now.” Josie said in Dean’s earpiece.  

“Got it.” Dean said turning away from Jack and heading off to find his girls. “Now you can tell me why the fuck Jack is here.”

“Jack? As in Jack? Jack is here? What the fuck? I fired his bastard ass last year after he turned out to be the world’s biggest jackass.”

“Yeah well, apparently Crowley brought him back.” Dean snapped.

“That bastard.” Josie snarled. “Right I’ll sort it, you won’t have to see him again if you don’t want to.” She said. “Now get me some good TV.” Josie might have been a calculating bitch but she looked after Dean. If that meant destroying the bastard ex-fiancé who cheated on Dean with a contestant then that’s what she had to do.

#All That Glitters #deancas #deancas fic #destiel #destiel fic #AU #Reality TV!AU

[colorisbyshe]

my take on this whole "who can reclaim dyke" discourse is that if you're a bi or pan woman who is predominantly attracted to women/exclusively and/or mainly sleeps with/dates women then you can reclaim it. the point of dyke is that you only like women, though i see where bi women do get called that slur, so it's not fair to say that they don't get affected by it. however if you're dating/sleeping with/whatever with mostly men i don't really see where that comes in (1/2)

... i don't know. as a lesbian the thought of bi/pan women who don't date women as much as we do (because they're the only gender we're attracted to) reclaiming dyke makes me severely uncomfortable. however it's much less so if said bi/pan women are sharing a more similar experience? if that makes sense. (2/2)        

We’re pretty much on the same page.

I don’t think bisexual women in m/f relationships should be rampantly calling themselves d*kes nor do I think that bisexual women who are only rarely attracted to women would even relaly WANT to reclaim that slur. Like? I just haven’t seen this rare 99.99% bisexual who just wants to call herself d*ke while sucking her husband off. We’re not all Erika Moen.

Like, bisexual women experience homophobia REGARDLESS of who we are/aren’t dating. Just like gay men and women do, even if they’re single or closeted or bearded. But I’ll fucking step up the plate and be the bisexual that admits that bisexuals experience a different form of or even less homophobia in m/f relationships than they do in f/f or m/m relationships. Or that they’d shielded from a bit of it. It hurts just the fucking same but you’re not targeted the same way. A woman out with her husband MOST LIKELY isn’t gonna be called a d*ke, though if she is I wouldn’t object to her using the word in a conversation to tell the story. I’d fucking object if she like kissed her husband and made it a pet name or some shit but like... I know she’s still hurt by it. Homophobia still fuckign hurts.

But like... as is the theme of my blog NUANCE EXISTS.

Bisexual women who prefer women, who are currently dating women, or even are “more visibly gay” have a different relationship to “gayness” and therefore gay slurs than do bisexual women who prefer men, who are currently with men, or are more (I fucking loath this term but) “straight passing.” I have bisexual friends who like?? Don’t even really consider themselves “WLW” or “sapphic.” And then there’s bisexuals like me who define ourselves by our same/similar gender attraction and our “straightness” is like... a sad accident where we can hear the alarms going off but we’re like “that’s someone else’s problem atm.”

There are bisexual women whose lived experiences may involve even less men than some lesbians (because not all lesbians are “gold star” (bleck, what a term) and not all bisexuals swinging evenly in both directions). and like... when you flat out shut us out from talking about our lived experiences, using the language used against us... I don’t know how that helps women who love women.

So, yeah, women who primarily involve themselves with men probably should uhhhh not use the term d*ke unless in company with women who are like... chill with it. But let’s not forget the bisexual women whose lives are like .0001% attraction to men and they’re sad about it. So maybe be kind ot them and let them reclaim the words that slice them open too.

#d slur // #Anonymous