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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 9 months

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hii 📓

Okay so the thing is that I wanted a “the Zenin raised Megumi instead of Gojo” fic but the thing is that I’m absolutely convinced that if the Zenin were the ones that took Megumi they wouldn’t actually take tsumiki too. The fandom consensus I’ve personally seen has been that she would have been taken and mistreated by zenin for being a female non sorcerer but I personally think they would have just straight up left her behind.

They only bought Megumi. They keep non sorcerers and women as servants in their compound but all of them are Zenin themselves. Tsumiki isn’t related and I couldn’t really see any reason why they’d want her. Which turned this into a fic where Tsumiki loses her brother, but she’s trying to find him again, she swears. I think of it as my “siblings doomed by the narrative desperately try to write a new one where they can be together” fic.

The thing is that Tsumikis mom was one of those people who thought love and consumption were synonymous. She had a habit of getting caught up with assholes and just… having both of them chew on each other for a while until it turns into this horrible fucking bloodbath.

Tojis just another loser her mom got caught up in, but he’s Tsumiki’s favorite out of all the losers, because he gave her her brother. Her mom marries this random guy she barley knows and Tsumikis pretty sure she does it so they can both ditch their kids twice as much, secure in the knowledge that there’s supposedly another person checking in. It works out great for them, because they both stop coming entirely. It’s fine, because Tsumiki has Megumi and Megumi has Tsumiki and they don’t need anything else.

It’s one of those things where they were in really unhealthy circumstances and it made their relationship a little bit unhealthy but not necessarily bad. They both had to grow up way too fast and deal with way too much too soon and become codependent on each other because they are, in the most literal way possible, dependent on one another. Neither of them know how to love in a way that doesn’t involve sacrificing themselves for their sibling, mostly because they don’t have a way that doesn’t involve that.

They’re in a sinking ship and tsumiki knows it. Their parents aren’t coming back. The money is going to run out sooner or later. Their problems are stacking up.

Megumi has confessed to her that he sees things that no one else does. When she asks him how he knows no one else sees them, he explains that they’d say something if they did and won’t say anything else. And she doesn’t know what to believe but she refuses to call him crazy. He tells her that monsters cling to her back and he fights them off for her. She patches up his bruises and cuts and tells him he’s brave and tries to figure out if she’s just imagining that her back feels lighter after. He tells her that there are dogs that only he can see that have started following him around, and she tells him she believes him and can never remember, later, if she meant it or was just saying it.

The last time Toji came by, he left them more money than tsumikis ever seen in her life, took them to ice cream, told them that he was sorry he was so shit at this and that the money was Megumi’s share in a payment. It was for something he was going to help daddy with later. Tsumiki and him were to use it to take care of themselves and be healthy, because Megumi couldn’t help him later if he wasn’t. And tsumiki was always afraid of what he meant by that, but in the end, she let it slip her mind. After all, Toji hadn’t been by in ages. He probably wouldn’t come by at all.

And he didn’t. But others did. Two men she’s never met before are waiting outside their building one day, and when they see Megumi, they laugh. But the thing that Tsumiki can never get out of her mind later is that she swears they weren’t looking at Megumi directly. They were looking at his dogs.

Tsumiki basically tries to get Megumi and powerwalk past them, but they’re a lot bigger and a lot stronger and there’s nothing she can do, really. They have a brief conversation about whether they should take her too, before one decides that Toji only sold him his kid and to leave the other behind. This makes both of them try to run, but there’s nothing either of them can do to overpower the men, and the men say that “Naobito would go ballistic if they left the ten shadows behind” so they take Megumi and leave her.

They put Megumi in a car and shove Tsumiki to the curb outside of it, and she tried to hold onto his hand, she swears. She grabbed at the car door even when the car started moving, and she banged on the windows, and she watched as Megumi kicked and punched and screamed inside, until one of them hit him and he went still. She ends up falling and hitting her head when the car picks up speed, and when she wakes up again, the cars gone and she has no idea where it went.

And it becomes a foundational moment for who she is. I think she was just intensely lonely before Megumi and poured a lot of herself into this idea of a family together. Tsumikis never able to shake the moment of her being outside the car and Megumi being on the inside, and not being able to get into him. She can never again get what she felt in that moment out of her head.

She goes to the police and tells them that it’s her little brother, his dad sold him but she wants him back, and they’re like “…”. The issue is that apparently her mom can pick up the damn phone if the police call and she shows up, spins some lie about how her and the stepdad split up and he took the kid with him, they never adopted each others kids so it was within his rights, Tsumiki was taking the separation hard and acting out. She lies, basically, because toji hadn’t kept up his end of the deal and dropped in to check in (neither had she) and his kid wasn’t her responsibility, he could do what he wanted with him. She doesn’t want the police poking around the way she lives. Just let the kid go because he’s probably dead and not her real brother anyway.

Tsumiki refuses to give up on him. They were both kids who no one cared about but they cared about each other and that had to be enough. But she’s seven with no support and zero idea on how to find him. She starts skipping school to look for him in random streets, puts up flyers, can’t go outside without looking for him. She gets held back a year in school because of how much she skips and she can’t bring herself to care. She buys him gifts on every birthday and writes him letters she can’t post because she’s going to find her brother and she’s going to prove to him that she never once stopped looking for him. She just. She needs him to know that she never stopped looking for him. She needs to find him and be able to honestly tell him she never stopped trying.

One day her mom comes back in clothes she can’t afford and comes with movers they shouldn’t be able to afford and announces a move they definitely can’t afford. Tsumikis absolutely opposed to going because if her brother comes to look for her, she needs to be in their old apartment so he can find her. She doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter. They have mysterious new benefactors who are setting up a trust to take care of tsumiki with a very generous stipend for her mom but they have to move to Sendai as a stipulation of getting the money.

It’s not until the attorney who’s managing her trust hands her a set of glittery blue butterfly hairpins that tsumiki realizes her mom sold her brother a second time.

The thing is that tsumiki had this one cheap set of butterfly hairpins she’d always stopped to look at in the store when she took Megumi to go grocery shopping. Shed never buy them, because they couldn’t afford it, but it was the thing she wanted most openly in front of him. She was always secretly really insecure about her hair, because they were the kind of poor where bar soap was a luxury they could only sometimes afford and kids at school made fun of how her hair was dirty and frayed. Megumi was the only one who ever saw how badly she wanted those stupid hair clips. If they had to give her a set of butterfly hair clips, it’s because he demanded that they did.

It’s basically implied that the Zenin are the ones paying for her care and upkeep due to an unspecified deal they cut with Megumi, but when they approached her mom with it, they added the caveat that Tsumiki had to be moved to a new city entirely and there could be no forwarding address left anywhere.

The zenins stance on tsumiki is, effectively, that she’s a weakness Megumi needs to be weaned off of. They honestly assumed he’d just like, forget she ever existed and he. Did not do that. He actually pitched a total bitch fit. Tried to scale the compound walls. Bit multiple people including the clan leader. But he’s got the ten shadows, he’s heir to the clan, and he can’t be caught up on some random non sorcerer who isn’t even a Zenin. They end up agreeing to pay for her to live very comfortably if he starts cooperating more but they want to make sure that he can’t ever find her again if he does ever succeed in running away.

Tsumiki is at once full of hope and hopeless, because on one hand, the butterfly clips prove that Megumi still loves her and remembers her, at least in her mind. But at the same time, she’s being moved to Sendai and doesn’t know how they’ll ever find each other again. She doesn’t honestly know if they’d recognize each other if they saw each other again. She wears the butterfly clips every day, even when she gets too old for the style, because she’s more confident about her brother recognizing them than her.

The thing about tsumiki is that she doesn’t understand hate. She just doesn’t. Her mom and toji always got caught up in these perceived slights and revenge and never once let go of the past. They’d destroy themselves if it meant taking down the people they hated with them. She never wanted that. She wanted to live with the people she loved and she’d happily turn around and forget everything, all the pain, all the searching, if it just meant she could go back to being megumis sister.

This isn’t about hate. This is about that moment outside the car, where her brother was inside and she couldn’t get in to him. This is about how helpless and small she felt when they shoved her to the curb and ripped megumis hand out of hers. She needs to make sure that when she finds Megumi, she can take him home again. So she decides she needs to learn how to fight.

Itadori Yuuji has the constitution of an ox and the strength to match it, and he is known for getting in fights with bullies and trouncing them so thoroughly that it’s never a question of who wins when the fight starts. He’s insanely physically capable and can hold his own in a fight with ease. He’s also nice and kind and Tsumiki’s comfortable enough asking him to teach her how to throw a punch or two.

She is bad at it.

So fucking bad at it.

But she never gives up, and Itadori is nice enough to keep teaching her despite how embarrassingly horrible she is at it all. He always asks her why she wants to learn so bad, she doesn’t seem to like it all, and she never answers his question honestly.

In their last year of middle school, their class has a trip to Kyoto. She, Itadori, and the rest of their group walk into some random restaurant in the city and have barely sat down when someone comes inside, starts searching every booth in the restaurant while shouting Tsumikis name.

And oh. They could recognize each other after all.

She looked for Megumi in every crowd she was ever in, but she didn’t consider that he was doing the same. Or that he would see her first.

Her brother grew up without her seeing it. Hes older, dressed in strange, expensive clothes, has a slightly bruised up face and split lip, but his eyes are the same, and he looks like the brother she remembered.

But a lot more nervous than Megumi ever was. He was a tiny, stoic child who didn’t take any shit and never showed fear, even when there were monsters that only he could see. But he’s nervous when he tells her that she probably doesn’t recognize him or remember him, but when she was a lot younger, he—

Megumi. He’s her little brother. Of course she remembers him. She’s been looking for him everywhere.

Megumi didn’t smile much as a child, but he smiles at her then. He tells her he doesn’t have a lot of time and she tells him that they can leave out the back, and he never let her hold his hand as a child but he takes her hand so easily in that second. And just for a second, she’s his sister again, and it’s everything she wanted.

They never make it out the back.

Two men come in. Megumi calls one of them uncle, and he goes stiff and flat the second he sees him. His uncle apologizes for his nephew, tells everyone that he always makes scenes when they’re out in public, tells him to apologize to the nice people and leave. Megumi was mistaken.

Tsumiki tríes to keep ahold of his hand. Really, she does. She tries to tell people to call the police. But megumis “uncle” steps towards her and Megumi slams him into a table, and then suddenly Megumi’s the one insisting that they leave immediately. They can go. It’s fine. They’re leaving. She loses ahold of his hand.

She tries to follow, but the other man restrains her. She learns that she’s better at slamming plates into peoples heads than she is at punching, and at this point itadoris Friend In Danger Override has been triggered and he fucking tackles the dude, which gives tsumiki the clearing that she needs to chase outside after her brother. She gets out just in time to see him be pushed into a car, and she’s had years to think about the last time this happened and figure out what to do differently. She throws herself in front of the car and refuses to move.

See her entire stance is that she’ll sooner get run over and killed in the street than let them do this a second time, but she also can see Megumi trying to fucking punch the drivers head in from behind because he’s about to hit his sister. His uncles trying to restrain him, and just for a second, she sees his hands make the shape of the shadow puppets he used to show her as children. Something invisible slams her out of the way just as his uncle knocks him out.

She picks up a rock and tries to smash in the fucking window with it, and itadori has to pull her out of the way to keep her from getting her feet run over when the car finally tears out of the parking lot. She goes ballistic on him for stopping her because her brother was right there and she lost him again and she didn’t even get the license plate. He was right there.

The police basically do jack all again. There’s no license plate, no names they can follow up on, and they’re still half convinced this is a settled custody issue even though tsumiki insists her brother was sold by his dad and is very plainly getting hurt wherever he is. Itadori is now a devoted advocate of finding tsumikis brother and reuniting them, and both basically kind of end up becoming really close to the other? He’s taking care of himself and his grandpa alone, she’s alone while her moms awol again, and they both become the others support system.

At one point, there’s this random girl and boy who doesn’t speak who shows up to their school for indeterminate reasons. The girl is bored and twirling her glasses in one hand while the person in a suit that they’re with asks the principal questions, and when tsumikis eyes catch at the right angle, she sees an invisible monster clinging to a classmates back through them. She realizes it’s exactly what Megumi always talked about and still remembers that the people who took him could see his dogs. She corners the two others in a room and tries to demand information about the invisible monsters or see if they know her brother or the people who took him, and immediately gets blown off. The fight escalates until the girl tells him that actually, yeah. She knows tsumikis brother. He is a very special person to some very powerful people, and the only way she can ever help him is to tell him that she’s let go of him and that he needs to do the same to her. That’s the only message that the people who have him would ever let get through, and his life would get a lot better as soon as he got it.

The people who have him would give him anything in the world, except for her. He could be a lot happier and healthier than he is right now if he just agreed to stop trying to find tsumiki. If she really wants to help her brother, then she needs to let him go.

Tsumiki nails her in the back of the head with a milk carton when she tries to walk away. It sloshes out on her. Tsumiki did not intend this. She cannot admit that fact. There are some actions you just have to own when you do them. She tells the girl that he’s her brother and she’s never letting go of him. She’s going to find him. They can’t keep him from her forever. She doesn’t care how long it takes her.

For a second, tsumiki really thinks this girl is going to kick her ass, but she doesn’t. She wishes her luck and tells her she’ll need it, and it’s only later that tsumiki realizes she slipped the eyeglasses into her pocket.

And as it turns out, her brothers monsters were real all along.

There was a knife that toji left in the frame of his bed. Tsumiki confiscated it from Megumi as soon as he found it, and it was odd and strange and gave her bad feelings when she held it, and it can kill the things that gather on her back. When she follows Itadori to their local high school and joins the occult club in an attempt to find more people involved in this world of invisible monsters, she wears the eyeglasses and keeps the knife hidden in her bag.

It comes in handy when her senpais are trying to open this thing and suddenly there’s like a fucking portal opening and Actually Let’s Not Oh Too Late Let’s Run Let’s Fucking Run.

They run.

Meanwhile at the hospital Megumi found out in very quick succession that his sister has fucking sukunas finger and also that there’s a very over enthusiastic himbo who is the self appointed vice president of the Find Fushiguro Megumi And Bring Him Home Club who absolutely fucking refuses to leave his side. Sorry who are you. Why are you so enthusiastic about finding him. Megumi sort of was the one doing the finding there was a whole tracking situation and him waiting dramatically in the shadows like they just did it.

Anyway they run very very quickly to tsumikis school where she is dodging she is serpentining this is a fuckton of monsters oh holy fuck is that her brother?

The fight goes bad.

Tsumiki manages to follow itadori and her brother out at a much slower pace because she’s not a freak of nature like itadori and shows up just in time to see her brother shouting at itadori to not eat the fucking finger while itadori is absolutely trying to eat the fucking finger.

She chucks her shoe at him. The finger goes flying.

Then the monster eats it instead.

Tsumiki: :o

Yuuji: :o

Megumi: fuck

Now there’s a bigger monster and the fight goes even worse. There’s a lot of shouting. Itadori ends up with her knife. Then he ends up getting eaten and they’re down both a knife and itadori, who’s probably fucking dead. Then megumis insisting she run and she’s insisting he shut the fuck up because it’s sort of taken a decade to get this close to him again and she’s not fumbling the bag now because of a monster on the rampage. Have a sense of fucking priorities here.

Then itadori bursts out of the monsters stomach with the knife like the fucking Kool Aid Man and the fight is suddenly very over. Good job, team.

Gojo rolls up to his most stoic and eternally pissed off student having a dramatic and emotional reunion with his sister.

Yuuji, in a very bad whisper: no no so like she’s been looking for him for years but he saw her in the restaurant

Gojo: :o go on

Yuuji: and then he got caught by like, I don’t know, he said he was his uncle or something but the dude acted so weird and creepy and they put him in a car and Tsumiki tried to stop the car but they got away

Gojo: *gasp* what no

Yuuji: I know! Anyway then I start helping her look for him but we can’t find him anywhere until I’m at the hospital and he just walks up to me right?? And I’m like “dude I have been looking everywhere for you” and he’s like “I have no idea who you are, I’m here about that fucked up demon finger” and I’m like—

Megumi, really trying to have a moment here: we can both hear you

And megumis like “this is uh. My new teacher. I guess. I am his only student. And he is uh. Enthusiastic. Do not linger in conversation with him.”

Tsumiki is lingering. She needs fucking intel so he can’t disappear again. Where does he go to school and can she transfer there. It’s fucking wizard school? Will they take her even though she’s not a wizard? She cannot emphasize enough that she will study any fucking subject they want so that way she can be close with her brother again she does not care if it’s applicable to her education or life. She can throw things at people itadori tell the man tell him how enthusiastically she will throw things at monsters for their weird fucking wizard school.

Itadori: she hit me in the face with her shoe like five minutes ago

Tsumiki: see???

Megumi keeps trying to forbid her from wizard school but she’s technically the older sister so she has override rights. She will go to wizard school. How does she get wizard school to accept her.

And Gojos just really weird and off and keeps looking at Megumi and saying that he “didn’t know he had a sister.”

He really didn’t know that Megumi had a sister he wanted to stay with.

And then suddenly it’s like a switch is flipped and he’s back to his normal self telling them to leave everything to him, because he’ll make sure tsumiki can come back with them. And uh? Itadori? Weirdly physically capable kid who will apparently eat anything? Is he going to be good getting home after all this?

Itadori: actually if it’s not too much trouble can I go to wizard school too my grandpa sort of died half an hour ago and I don’t have plans for the rest of my life. Tsumikis kind of my best friend and I’d like to make sure she’s all good at wizard school. I’m a really good fighter and I stabbed the last monster so like can I come too because you know. Dead grandpa. No family or future to speak of. Haha.

Gojo:

Megumi:

Tsumiki, softly: dude

There’s more after they make it to jujutsu high but this is already really long so we leave it here

#ask games #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #continuing my streak of becoming obsessed with minor background characters #other highlights include itadori trying to platonically wingman for tsumiki with her brother (because it’s been like a decade and she knows #nothing about him and he knows nothing about her and she’s terrified he won’t like her once they get to know each other again) so that way #itadori can be the one asking the get to know you questions and tsumiki doesn’t have to admit out loud that she and her brother know nothing #about each other only the inherent problem is that her brother is actually unfairly pretty and has a sort of dry wit and is reserved but #when you get to know him he’s such a genuine dude and oh fuck oh no he’s in trouble this is his best friends long lost brother he has to be #violating some kind of code here. Kugisaki stop laughing at him this is a crisis.#gojo basically backed out of teenage fatherhood when he saw Megumi walking around with the divine dogs because it’s one thing to butt heads #with a major clan over an outcast member it’s another to do it for their most sacred technique #he thought that Megumi would be better taken care of than anyone else in the clan as the person with the ten shadows and that he’d probably #be better off than with an emotionally broken seventeen year old who works at least 28 days a month and has no idea how to raise a child #he never realized that Megumi had a sister he wanted to stay with who the Zenin separated him from #he tells himself he would have intervened if he had known because he’s been secretly worried and guilty about not taking in Megumi after all #since Maki showed up and said some worrying things about the clan heir and his standard of living and got the confirmation when he met #tsumiki and realized that he could have kept them together all those years ago and didnt. megumi and tsumiki kind of haunt him with lost #potential because not only could they have grown up a family but they could have grown up his family. megumi doesn’t know why satoru gojo #of all people is being so weirdly helpful and intense about about sponsoring tsumiki and keeping her close to him

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carewyncromwell · 1 year

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“Everyday people, in their own sweet way, Like to add a coat of paint and be what they ain’t! That’s how our little game is played, Livin’ like a masquerade, actin’ a bizarre charade, While playing the saint!”

~“Facade” from Jekyll and Hyde

x~x~x~x

Ahhh, no!! Carewyn!! D:

Ahem -- yeah, this is a counterpoint to a piece I’ve done in the past about Jacob and how he got ensnared by Charles Cromwell and R’s web...but this is going to take a little bit of explanation! First, though, my musical accompaniment while working on this includes Things Are Not What They Appear from Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World, Elsie Lovelock’s cover of Trust in Me from The Jungle Book, and Wolfsong by Omnia. 😊

Okay, right to it. Those of you who know Hogwarts Mystery, there’s a moment toward the beginning of year 6 where MC meets Jacob in his old room at Hogwarts, after following Sickleworth the Niffler, who’s carrying a white quill that it turns out is a threat from R, reminding MC that R still intends to “collect” on one of their friends’ lives. Well, this scene has always bugged me, because Hogwarts is supposed to be nigh impregnable, to the point that even Voldemort couldn’t get inside during the First Wizarding War -- so how does a non-Hogwarts-graduate like Jacob get in so easily?

My answer -- that is not really Jacob. In my canon, the person Carewyn instead meets is an agent of R, who -- with inside help from another agent who plays as the newest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor -- was able to sneak into the school and impersonate Jacob with Polyjuice Potion. And this agent impersonating Jacob is none other than Carewyn’s maternal uncle and heir to the Cromwell Clan, Blaise.

Blaise Cromwell is a character who -- quite honestly -- I think deserves multiple punches to the face. He is ridiculously possessive of his family, seeing them as akin to prized toys that no one else is allowed to touch but him, and his sister Lane and her children are no exception. Blaise is just as determined as Charles is to force Lane, Jacob, and Carewyn back into the fold of the Cromwell Clan, and he has no moral compunctions that might temper that desire. He’s more than willing to lie, deceive, torture, or even kill to achieve that goal. And because he was raised by Charles -- who like Jacob and Carewyn was born with immensely powerful Legilimency -- Blaise became a master of Occlumency at a young age, all in the effort of maintaining some privacy in and control over his own mind. This Occlumency and Blaise’s rather convincing act makes it so that Carewyn at first has no idea that she’s not speaking to her brother...at least, not until Blaise as Jacob collides with her in Knockturn Alley, while Carewyn herself is disguised as Patricia Rakepick. But for now, Carewyn is completely unawares...not just because Blaise was so good at capturing Jacob’s mannerisms and overall attitude, but because he sounded so sincere, speaking of his desire for their family to be as it once was. It made it so that when he so “reluctantly” accepted her help with the Vaults on the condition that she not involve her friends “unnecessarily” the way he did Duncan and Olivia, Carewyn didn’t suspect anything amiss. And well, Blaise does want his family as he once had it. He wants his sister Lane back at the Cromwell estate...and he does want her children there with them. Sure, for her and them, it’d be a cage, but they’d learn to accept it. They were family, after all -- the Cromwell estate, and the Cromwell Clan, was where they belonged.

For however terrible of a person Blaise is, however, I will point out that the moment Blaise collided with Carewyn in Jacob’s old room was the first time he’d really been able to interact with his niece. And however much he was focused on his goal, it didn’t mean he felt nothing, seeing her for the first time.

Lane had been Blaise’s favorite sibling when they were young -- admittedly largely by default since they were closest in age and Lane was both intellectual and disinterested in social gatherings enough that Blaise enjoyed her company -- so her departure had a profound impact on Blaise, just as it did the rest of the Clan. He missed his third sister dearly, and hearing that she’d not only married a Muggle, but that that wretched man then proceeded to abandon her and her children upon Jacob’s Hogwarts letter arriving at their door, Blaise felt a surge of overprotectiveness toward both Lane and her children. They deserved better than what they’d had to live with -- they deserved to live well, not in poverty; they deserved to be treated like high society, not like freaks; they deserved a real home with the Clan, not living in a Muggle gutter. Jacob and Carewyn’s experience with their father should prove to them the superiority of wizardkind over Muggles -- not drive them further into the arms of Muggle lovers like the Weasleys or Mudbloods like Olivia Green or Ben Copper. With Blaise himself a widower and single father, he’s imprinted some of those twisted paternal instincts onto both Jacob and Carewyn as well -- and when he met Carewyn for the first time while disguised as Jacob, he witnessed her capacity to love first-hand. For while he wore her brother’s face, this usually stoic, pretty little teenager fussed over Blaise, fixing his robes and expressing sincere and open concern for his safety. The closest comparison point Blaise had for Carewyn’s behavior was that of his own deceased mother, Marilyn -- and yet there was no sense of asserting control here, with Carewyn. Charles only used “concern” as a means to an end -- to get a better read on who he was talking to. Even Marilyn would express concern by taking some authority over her children -- telling them to sit up straight, fixing their collars and hair to make them look perfect, because she wanted them to succeed, which would also reflect well on her. But not Carewyn. Her caring was given with no caveats or conditions -- no semblance of dominance or control. It was so...selfless.

Blaise had had no concept that any relative of his could be so weak-hearted. And yet all it did was make him want to bring her into the fold more.

People are rife to take advantage of a child like this. The people around her already have taken advantage of her. These ‘friends’ of hers that she’s so desperate to protect from us...what have they done, to deserve her caring? Who are they, to deserve her loyalty? Muggle lovers, Mudbloods, paupers and orphans...they are not her family -- we are her family!

The thought made Blaise’s inside flare with resentment and anger.

And I intend to treat her like it.

At one point during their meeting, Carewyn asked the man she thought was Jacob if something was wrong. Blaise tried to play this off, simply claiming he was lost in thought. Sensing Carewyn might be starting to pull away from him, Blaise offered a shred of vulnerability.

“...It’s just...the last time I saw you...you were only a child. You still would be a child, if not for the Cursed Vaults...”

Some resentment slipped out despite himself. As much as he wanted his family back together, and as much as he knew his father Charles’s word was law so long as he was head of the Clan, Blaise really hadn’t wanted his son or any of his nieces and nephews to be involved with R. He’d fought hard to keep Tristan and Pearl and Claire’s children out of this whole mess.

“...I wish I could shield you, Pip. I wish that...things could be just the way they were.”

Carewyn’s eyes softened. Feeling compassion in her heart for who she thought was her brother, she then opened up her arms and encircled “Jacob” in a hug. The gesture made Blaise flinch.

“Me too,” Carewyn murmured.

The warmth of her embrace flooded Blaise with a strange, trembling kind of pain -- an ache he hardly knew the origin of. He so rarely received hugs as it was, but this kind of hug in particular -- however much it comforted Carewyn as much as him, once again, there was no sense of transaction, no sense of control. She was just offering him comfort, and she found comfort herself just in giving it...such a weak-hearted gesture, and yet expressed by such a firm, warm embrace.

Abruptly, before he fully knew what he was doing, Blaise had lashed his arms out and seized hold of Carewyn, cradling her against his chest the way he did his own son, Tristan. The strength of his hug made Carewyn give him a light squeeze in return, which in turn made tears clutch at Blaise’s throat. Forcing them back fiercely, the heir of the Cromwell Clan simply held on tighter, resting his head on top of Carewyn’s as a choked song drifted absently from his lips.

“The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms... When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, So I hung my head and cried.”

Blaise hardly knew the origin of the old song anymore, aside from it being his main choice of lullaby for his son, Tristan, when he was young. Carewyn seemed to know it, though. Her lips even curled up in a small, sad smile of her own as she sang the chorus with him --

“You are my sunshine...my only sunshine... You make me happy when skies are gray... You’ll never know, dear...how much I love you... Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

Patricia Rakepick had told Blaise that Carewyn was a true Cromwell, when she sang. Seeing what she meant, by hearing the warm, trained tone of his niece for the first time, made Blaise squeeze Carewyn that little bit tighter.

Oh, if only his mother could’ve heard her, Blaise thought of Marilyn at the grand piano so many years ago...if only she’d had the chance to hear Lane’s daughter sing...

“We can’t forget Laney’s baby. We must get something for the baby...”

When Blaise finally forced himself to let go of Carewyn, he cleared his throat, trying to pull himself together as he turned away.

“...I should go. The longer I’m here, the more of a chance someone’ll see me. Can’t afford to get you in more trouble, on my account...”

Carewyn frowned. “Mm...”

Even with how disappointed she looked, she still nodded. Blaise turned to her much more seriously.

“Best not tell anyone I was here, Pip,” he said. “If your friends are anything like mine...I doubt they’ll just stand back and watch, if they know you’re helping me with the Vaults.”

Carewyn’s eyes fell away as she nodded again grimly. She clearly didn’t need to be convinced -- she’d already come to that conclusion herself.

Good, thought Blaise coldly. The more she separates herself from them now, the easier it’ll be for her to let go of them and return home to us. Then she’ll know what home and family truly are.

The memory of trying and failing to completely modify Ben Copper’s memory outside the Ice Vault -- of seeing him fearfully mumbling Carewyn’s name in his sleep in the Hospital Wing, after he was recovered -- made Blaise’s fist clench around his wand as he left the room and disappeared down the hall.

Everything would be the way it should be, Blaise thought, once he brought Lane and her children home. He’d make sure Lane, Jacob, and Carewyn had everything they could ever want, once they came home to the Clan. He’d make sure they were content -- that they’d have everything they needed, at home, where they belonged.

Then they’d stay. They’d stay, and never leave again.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #my art #my writing #carewyn cromwell #jacob cromwell #blaise cromwell #lane cromwell #charles cromwell #gdamnit blaise you big walking bag of issues #yeah he's definitely not a good person but he's still way more human than charles #marilyn cromwell honestly is where a lot of the cromwells' love of music came from #though charles actually really enjoys it too -- he just sees his family like songbirds that can sing for his entertainment #marilyn was a musical prodigy #she could play the flute violin piano and of course she sang #and she *loved* hearing her children sing #music basically = love to all cromwells even the really messed-up ones #writing this though i couldn't help but smirk thinking of how blaise would react to what evan did to lane #honestly I think if evan collided with jacob again he'd somehow still be safer than if he collided with blaise #jacob would beat him up but blaise would be close to crucio-ing his arse #you hurt his family he'll f*** you up #though to be blunt if *he* hurts his family he just gaslights TF out of them so they'll stay so again -- perspective >>#this guy is not a good person :I #also yes of all of carewyn's friends blaise hates and mistrusts ben most #because 'mudblood' and also he was one of carey's very first friends #that's part of the reason ben ended up r's initial target though him trying to protect Carewyn so much definitely affected that decision too

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