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suffarustuffaru · 3 months

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Hello!

A bit of a weird ask, so sorry in advance.

What methods/sites would you recommend using for reading Arcs 5-8 of Re:Zero?

I’ve almost finished season 2 of the anime, and I’m pretty sure this has become one of my new favourite anime/works of media in general.

And considering I keep spoiling myself anyway when I look at Re: Zero tumblr blogs, I figured I should just find a way to catch up with the rest of the series.

You seem smart, and have clearly read Arcs 5-8, so I was hoping that you would be able to provide some advice.

Thanks!

hi there!! :D no worries for the ask, its cool to have another rezero fan join in the fandom especially on tumblr (which is a very small, curated circle of a bunch of us trading posts around a campfire HAH) and i hope youve really been enjoying the anime and your stay here so far!! :o this is absolutely one of my favorite media as well (if. if you couldnt tell by the blog pfft) and thanks for the compliments haah i am glad to seem smart.

but yes i gotchu on where to read!! ill be giving you a pretty detailed explanation/guide. (this explanation also goes mainly for english speakers / people who wanna experience rezero in english.) (and of course if any other seasoned fans are seeing this feel free to add on if i miss anything or correct me if needed)

Main Route Stuff:

witchculttranslations is where you can find the translations for the entire main route (which is arcs 1-8). this page is where youll find the main table of contents for each arc and you can find arcs 5-8 there!

note that arc 8, at the time of me writing this ask, is still a work-in-progress and the team of translators in this fandom are always hard at work to translate each chapter. also note that arcs 7-8 are "conjoined arcs" - think of it like arc 7 is part 1 and arc 8 is part 2. so if you happen to get caught up to where rezero is currently at, the rezero subreddit regularly updates chat + update threads whenever new rezero novel content comes out in general. youll find updates on translations or summaries for new chapters there.

there's also distinction between web novel and light novel - web novel are the chapters that tappei releases online, light novel are the official finished versions of the chapters that are released for sale. sometimes there's changes between the web novel and the light novel, but for the most part it's either minor changes to improve on the web novel - sometimes it's major, but for arcs 5-8 iirc there isnt any major changes that you need to worry about.

just note that in the wn translations, all/almost all dialogue is written in script-style. let me show a small excerpt from arc 5 chapter 1:

???: “Good job, Subaru, I suppose.” A small silhouette enters Subaru’s view from above. A loveable girl with long, cream hair and an extravagant outfit—Beatrice. Her fluttering dress looks out of place in the meadow as she presents Subaru with a towel. He accepts it and vigorously towels his head dry. Subaru: “Ah, thanks. Was looking to cool down so this’s perfect.”

so yeah the wn will be formatted like this by the way, just in case you didnt know this yet!! i hope thats not much of a turnoff or anything, but dont worry you get used to it - and the story is still pretty great anyway!!

also dont bother with arcs 1-3 wn. its not so important (and you already know all the major info because youve seen the anime) and also arcs 1-3 wn doesnt have the Best writing. tappei himself had to make extremely major changes for the light novel and the light novel (along with the anime and manga) is the finished and polished result.

and of course the light novel comes with illustrations for each arc. the web novel sometimes includes images as well at the beginning of each chapter, but if youd like to see finished and official illustrations for various scenes throughout arc 5-8 its easy to find them if you search them up online!!

the anime also has a few bits of Important cut content from arcs 3-4 - unfortunately i dont have any resources on hand for this ;-;;; but you can look this up on rezero reddit or online in general since a lot of people have made summaries about this. from what i remember in arc 3 (which is the royal selection/white whale/petelgeuse half of season 1!), the main thing is just the reveal that al has some sort of connection to ram (and rem by extension), some sort of connection to satella possibly, and he is ALSO someone that was isekaied into rezero's fantasy world.

as for arc 4 (which is season 2 of course), the anime got down almost all of the general important info you need to know, but there's a lot of important information in the last parts of arc 4 that the anime didnt include. the anime may include this information (and the al stuff from arc 3) later, but you'll need to know it for arcs 5-8. you can find the witchcultranslations guide for arc 4 here - scroll down and youll find the chapter called Appendix: Advent!! you'll need the info in that chapter for later.

if you want, you can also read the chapters after that - theyre sorted under One Day II and are the official arc 4 interludes that take place before arc 5. i do recommend reading through them, but theyre mainly characterization stuff, character dynamics post-arc 4, everyone trying to recover after arc 4, etc etc. the most important info in there is leadup for arc 5 (all the post-arc 4 aftermath stuff) and also some info/introduction on clind and annerose (who are characters that are briefly shown in the anime for like two seconds). these two do play minor roles in arc 4/beginning of 5, but theyre hinted to be important for later. if youre in a hurry to get to arc 5, totally fine to just skim through it, get basic info on clind and annerose then continue into arc 5 or something. or you can look at their wiki pages - totally cool to enjoy rezero however you wish. it's a LOT of reading dont get me wrong HAH.

as for the manga - this is not required reading or anything, the manga has only done arcs 1-4 atm so it's not really super relevant to you since youre almost done with arc 4 already via the anime!! but of course if you havent done so youre welcome to check it out if youd like, the manga artists are pretty great imo. im just gonna show some art from the manga artists here:

isnt it pretty? :O very nice stuff.

anyway thats it for main route content!! now i gotta explain side content.

Side Content:

you can find witchculttranslations' side story table of contents here, which very neatly shows you Every Single Side Story and is updated regularly every time tappei comes out with new side content. and trust me, tappei makes A Lot of side content. i guarantee you a lot of rezero fans havent read every side story (and i still have a lot of side stories to catch up on myself), so theres absolutely no need to read every single side story!! honestly just read the ones you find interesting + the ones that are required reading! im not sure how much of the side content youve heard about, but ill give you a rundown:

this extremely helpful google spreadsheet here (thats also regularly updated) tells you how important each side story is and where you can find it so you dont have to go on a wild goose chase wondering which ones you need to read for the main story. rezero side stories are on a sliding scale of just silly stuff tappei wrote for fun to this is VERY crucial for the main story. that google spreadsheet should help you out with that - both the spreadsheet and witchculttranslations have links to almost every side story available.

(the spreadsheet also tells you important details and who it's centered around + when each side story is safe to read free of spoilers after a certain point - so it's easy to decide when you wanna read the side stories and WHICH side stories you'd like to read!)

also i guarantee you that if you have a favorite character in rezero that character Probably has a ton of side content theyre featured in - so i recommend just hunting down all their side content and devouring it whole because im sure youll have a fun time with that. a lot of side content also fleshes out a ton of side characters as well in general - people who Looked shallow in the anime ARENT shallow at all, i promise. many people have hidden depths, which is one of the fun parts of rezero!

witchculttranslations and the google spreadsheet also tell you what order you might wanna read in terms of when each one takes place. i recommend following that order for the most part if youd like, but if you wanna binge read side content or something later you can also do that after reading arc 6.

that's how i experienced the side stories myself (i started reading them after finishing up with the arcs 5-6 plot) and in a way, i would say that might just be the easiest way to do it given a lot of the side stories take place during arcs 1-6 or before the events of arcs 1-6. itll make you go "ohhh thats what was happening with these background characters during *insert event here that was focused on in the main story*" or "ohhh thats why These Guys are like this" a lot pfft. so its easier to just get out the most important ones / the ones thatre most interesting to you all in a row after finishing up with arc 6 👍

The Ex Novels:

these are THE MOST IMPORTANT side stories. :o theyll be extremely important for arcs 7-8 especially!! also because these are light novels the dialogue is written in normal narrative format so hooray for that!!

anyway theres five ex novels. i recommend reading these after arc 6 so you got them fresh on the brain for arcs 7-8.

however if you happen to be a crusch camp fan, you can read ex novels 1-3 at any time youd like!! these flesh out characters like crusch, felix, wilhelm, and theresia (some of the wilhelm and theresia content was shown a bit in season 1 of the anime!) so youd probably enjoy these even more if youre a fan of any of them. ex novel four also features felix, julius, and reinhard too, if that interests you! (as a knight fan ex novel 4 was my favorite akdndn and i loved ex 1!!). but yeah in general though read the ex novels in order (from 1 to 5 of course) so you dont spoil yourself for other ex novels, but as i said - you can read 1-3 at any time, and in general its best to read the rest of the ex novels after arc 6.

the ex novels in general mainly focus on important historical events in the rezero world and stuff that happens before arc 1. the ex novels are also our first introduction to the nation and empire of vollachia—this is also the country that priscilla is from (and al also came from there)!! you get introduced to vollachia's whole deal in these novels. youll need this info for later!

anyway witchculttranslations and the google sheet dont have links to them because theyre published + officially translated light novels that are easiest to access by buying them, so harder to get a free pdf of them. however i got you (and your wallet) covered because i got pdfs for all of them right here (if these links dont work let me know!):

ex novel 1 - crusch and felix-centric

ex novel 2 - wilhelm and theresia-centric

ex novel 3 - wilhelm and theresia-centric

ex novel 4 - felix, julius, and reinhard-centric

ex novel 5 - priscilla and al-centric

anyway thats the ex novels in a nutshell!! and of course if you want a physical copy of these books (or any of the rezero light novels in general) in english you can buy these online (sites like amazon has them) or at a bookstore. if you live in the US like i do, barnes and noble has them irl as well. or if you happen to live near a kinokuniya store, they also sell rezero irl. kinokuniya is also specifically for japanese media so i highly recommend giving it a try if you happen to be near one (i got a rezero keychain from there also hah, rezero merch is a little hard to get a hold of sometimes).

rezero light novels are also translated in a few other languages (iirc spanish and polish are some of the other languages its translated in) so if youd like that too you can look into it and buy some!!

The If Routes:

if youre not familiar with these by now, theyre basically "what if"/ alternate universe stories where subaru makes a different and Very Major choice at different points of the main route. theyre not necessarily required reading, but some do have some important lore regarding several of the characters and in general most of them are extremely important AUs for rezero that emphasize all the themes of the story. they also show the Insane butterfly effect of subaru’s decisions.

and if youve gotten this far with the anime already im gonna assume you probably like subaru at least a little bit? :o yeah his character gets fleshed out in Very Interesting ways in these routes. other characters also get changed in various ways due to his decisions!

new ifs are also released typically every year on subaru's birthday - april 1. so with every april 1 the entire fandom plays russian roulette because either the if will be a super silly one or a Very Important one LMAO.

also these ifs tend to be mentioned a lot in fandom bc theyre very beloved and interesting side stories, so i highly recommend choosing which ones you find interesting and just have fun reading them!! you can find them on the spreadsheet, if you want to read them in a more chronological order, or you can find them on the main witchculttranslations website as tabs on the side underneath Re:Zero If Stories. (but ill provide the links to each separate one in this post also.)

all current if routes at the moment take place somewhere in the arcs 1-6 range, so you can look at them either after arc 6, like i said, or in order as you read along with the main route. ill give a quick breakdown of each if just in case!!

Pride If - diverges from arc 1; subaru doesnt call for help when fighting the three thugs in the alleyway. slight spoilers for one part of arc 5 in like One Scene of pride if.

Wrath If - diverges from arc 2; subaru accepts beatrice’s offer to help in the loop where rem dies + subaru tries to run away from the mansion. very minor spoilers for ex novels/arc 7-8 (characters who appear in those arcs appear in wrath if).

Sloth If - diverges from arc 3; subaru gives up and runs away with rem instead of dealing with the arc 3 conflict. very minor spoilers (a character who later appears in arc 8 appears here).

Aganau If - diverges from arc 3; in the loop where rem dies in the cave and subaru carries her back to the mansion, he decides to go down another route away from the mansion instead. years later, he’s now older and still alive after almost everyone else has died. this if is one of the routes in the now discontinued lost in memories mobile game (and this is The Most Important route out of the whole bunch anyway). you can find a playthrough + english translation of it here.

Greed If - diverges from arc 4; subaru accepts echidna’s contract. major spoilers for arc 4 of course. minor spoilers for arc 5+ (small plot beats are mentioned iirc). a bit of important lore for characters like echidna and clind. the first edition of it can be found here - make sure to read this first. this is because this if was also given a longer and polished light novel version of it (it was a special that came with some of the season 2 blueray dvd packages?) and you can find an english translation for the extended + final version under the Blueray Novels and Databooks section of witchculttranslations' side content page.

Gluttony If - diverges from arc 6. major spoilers for arcs 5-6.

Mimigau If - this is just a genderbend au that tappei made that starts from arc 1!! almost nothing is changed besides the characters’ genders, biological sex, names, etc. i sadly dont have a link to this one, but iirc this hasnt been fully translated yet? and it's also very much not that important of an if lore-wise so you're not missing out on much. the genderbent character names are really fun though!

Lust If - this is, supposedly, an if that tappei wrote in one sitting and then decided to delete off of the official rezero wn site. this if is just an april fools joke where subaru gets a harem of various rezero girls. and imo its not Particularly Good, but it was meant to be a joke and tappei just wrote it for no reason so ig the quality makes sense haah. and also sadly that harem includes petra iirc which. yeah. not what id call great.

Vainglory If / School If - basically a canon high school au for all of rezero! not a necessary read at all but it's super silly and fun. and if you like anastasia and/or priscilla they have a lot of Fun Interactions in this one. im not sure if all of this if is english translated yet, but you can find chapter one here.

Other Various Ifs from Lost In Memories - i dont have the links to all of these, but lost in memories has a lot of other more minor aus as well, aganau if is just the most important + the darkest one. the other ifs are more lighthearted and just extra stuff for funsies. other big examples include a julius if (subaru calls for help in arc 1 and julius is the one who comes to help), a reinhard if of sorts (takes place around arcs 1-2, it's a sillier story where reinhard just keeps appearing out of nowhere to help subaru every time he needs help), and also an otto if (arc 1 divergence; subaru gets involved with otto and the two of them decide to start a mayonnaise business).

A Side Note About Rezero Video Games:

ok i know your ask is mainly about how to READ rezero but i figured i might as well explain this really quick just in case!!

there are a bunch of rezero video games and none of them are really Necessary, so dont worry about it. theyre either like - silly alternate universe stuff or theyre a bit more of the serious au variety (like aganau if, as mentioned earlier. i dont know every single rezero video game out there (and i think theres still new ones in the works at the time of me writing this??) and also almost none of them are english translated so its hard to experience them if you dont understand japanese.

the two most important ones (aka the ones with more story in them) are gonna be prophecy of the throne and lost in memories (which i mentioned earlier!). and again, these games are not necessary content - theyre mostly just side content that you can look at/watch/play through for fun and if you just wanna see more of your faves. you can check them out at any time since they dont have any major arc 5-8 spoilers.

Prophecy of the Throne - this is visual novel + a divergence of arc 3 where a new and sixth royal candidate emerges and it looks like emilia is the fake royal candidate here.... so yeah the plot is just. it's like a game of among us. but it's a fun story with a lot of different character interactions (so if you really like the entire cast of rezero youre in luck!!) and features a tiny bit of lore about some powerful groups in the fantasy world. a few of subarus failed loops in this one are also Particularly Brutal. you can watch gameplay of it on youtube or play through it yourself (i know that the game IS on steam too) since it's fully english translated (and all the jp vas and english vas reprised their roles as well).

Lost In Memories - as mentioned earlier, this is a now discontinued mobile game. iirc it was a gacha game? a sort of fighting game? and also it's narrative driven with a bunch of different routes. you can find the wiki for it here - it summarizes a lot of the main story beats. theres no official english translations for this game, but theres a lot of fan translations that you can find on stuff like youtube if youre ever interested in any part of the game. also it has a really fun opening song and animated sequence. nonoc's rezero music is great <3

A Side Note About Rezero Youtube:

theres a lot of summary videos for both main content chapters and side stories on youtube. im not sure how accurate these videos are, but i know that at the very least they can give you a brief rundown on the main points for certain chapters/side stories if thats something youd like to have!

theres also an entire team of people making a fan-run audiobook for arc 5. ive given some of their episodes a listen, and i can confirm that theyre absolutely great. you can find their readings of chapter 1-47 on spotify, and on their youtube channel theyre up to chapter 62. i think theyve also expressed their interest in branching out into other rezero content as well? :o so if thats also something youre interested in you can check them out there!

In Conclusion

anyway, that should be all you need to know - thats a summary of basically all important rezero content from here on out!! i know this is like. Super detailed. so i hope that this was helpful and didnt scare you away or anything hah. and i hope you have fun reading through rezero :o !! you got a lot of content to choose from thats for sure!!

but yeah ty for the ask, i hope i explained everything clearly enough :o !! and if you need any clarification feel free to ask!!

#rezero #re:zero #ask #save for later #<< bc this is my most detailed post on 'how to read rezero' aljsdlf so i might just put this in my pinned post for this blog later #also even if ur a seasoned fan and u havent heard of the arc 5 fan podcast yet pls give them a listen. they work so hard on it and i love #their performances there <3

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bullet-prooflove · 2 months

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Thursday 'Bring the Noise' Prompt List

Please check the updated character list on my pinned post to see who I am writing for before submitting a prompt!

Also read the rules and do not forget to put the entire prompt into your ask!

Give me grace, bury my sins

I’ve been watching you for a while

only you have shown me how to love being alive

You ain't nothing they can handle

I was told not to love him

Strike to kill, you know I will

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you Til my dying day

A winding road where strangers meet

Youll only have yourself to blame when you let everything go bad

She was sweet like honey

If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too

With a single word And a gentle touch You turned a moment Into forever

Give me one kiss for the road, boy

Shattered glass

Driving past a graveyard on a lonesome street

I was left here to die

They don't know a thing about you

You're so gorgeous 'Cause you make me feel gorgeous

When something hurts this much I know its real

If she's gonna go Well then I'm going with her

When I fold, you see the best in me The joker and the queen

Count the days I survived

There's a place for me, Somewhere we can sleep

She's mean and she's mine

All the little flowers gave me something to believe in

And I know you could fall for a thousand kings And hearts that could give you a diamond ring

She's on the tip of my tongue

You make him so god damn handsome

Can't hold me back from where I need to go

Now you can fight the feeling only for little while Until she's back in your dreams with her beautiful smile

Hidden in the pages of the New York Times at home

She's on the top of my thighs

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Been a couple years of living on the road

so pretty whenever you're around

Don't have to say what I'm thinking now

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

You could have my heart and I would break it for you

Its the best love Ive ever had and I dont want to let you go

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

Don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum

Weepin' in a sunlit room,

We rattle this town, we rattle this scene

Though you try to tell me that you never loved me, I know that you did, Cause you said it and you wrote it down

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

I won't regret cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Ain't gonna stop until you win this fight

You turned into your worst fears

And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 months

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Hi dani, bday annie here, thank you and i will check out your recommendations, i have heard so many diff variations of thoughts over these series that you recommended that i always put them off, but ill try them again, and i really hope i love them

on another thought, i wasnt here when you were regularly updating the tlnd story, i read it only when it was complete. I just wanted to say i am so sorry that you had to go through so many opiniated bully asks over how the character should behave, tbh i liked how you wrote them , was i furstrated yes, but not with you never, but how human mistakes they did in the story, due to thier characters, habits, and how an complex situation/emotions it created. and tbh i was somedays on magnus's side and sometimes on alec side, so it really depended on what they did and not what they shld be like.

Hopefully if you do write the tlnd sequel(personally i hope you do, bc its such a complex, real topic, that i would love to see your take on it considering on how youve dealt with other heavy topics in yoru fics beautifully complexed and real way) i hope you do not have to go through all of the shit like you did back then.

you also talked about an malec idea fic story can you tell more abt it ( I LOVE mavid but i will always love malec a bit more 😁😄 so i will love another story any story which has malec as main but i will always love what you write 😘)

last thing, i wanted to ask the mavid rwb fic, are you going to follow the same plotlines as in the movie and book bc i always like twist and surprises in stories and nothing against you ofc, but i wanted to know if youll put a bit diff take , a dani take on the story adding new twists? i hope you do, !!

thank you again

Absolutely! With GoT and TLoR you're either in it or not. So, definitely check it out and see if you like the vibes :)

Thank you for your kind words about TLND. I do hope for the same <3

Which malec idea are we talking about? 🤔

The rwrb au is definitely going to be an adaptation and have a different take. Because I need to be true to my characters first. For eg, Max will obviously know he is bisexual. David and his father will have a very different dynamic than Henry and Arthur Fox. And of course since David is the sole heir to the throne, it's gonna make things very complicated for him. I'd so majority of the story is rather different except for some 'key scenes' in the books :)

Hope you had the best of birthdays x

#my fics

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awrkive · 1 year

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Can you give us a rough time frame when youll upload part 4 of LL? 🥺 please don’t see this as me pressurizing you, that’s not my intention at all, i’m just curious and impatient bc it’s so good lmao i hope you see this more as a compliment 🫶🏼

Hii!!! i don't really mind people asking me for updates as long as its asked nicely or doesn't have rude undertones HAHA but omg a rough time frame... Hmm. i have a good chunk of chapter 4 written actually, but i think im still gonna add 2 more scenes, depends. this week is kinda busy for me tho (we have a major plate to be passed on Monday lol) so ive been grinding to finish that hence i haven't been writing 🥹 but maybe, before March ends??? that's an extremely rough estimate tho. but thank you for being excited about LL! here's a little something

#asks #fic: love lessons #i love oart 4 cos i get to introduce jimin to you guys finally JSBDJDHSJSJD #he was mentioned in part 1 ...#hehe

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thera-daydreams · 2 years

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Thera, I hope your last exams at uni went well!!! take your time before posting the next chapter, you totally deserve it (especially after MoM, I can already see the amount of work youll have to rewrite a few scenes haha) :) can't wait for the chapter, I feel it will be angsty just as it will be savage (Wanda DID go a bit crazy after all).

Omg, I just finished my last day of sophomore year yesterday! I'm done with half of my college life! 😭❤️

I've been, like, only getting 3-4 hours of sleep per night since 2 weeks ago... and most of the time, they were interrupted sleep since I had to study... and God knows when the last time I got a full, straight, uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. 🥲

Well, I actually did sleep 10 hours straight last night right after my last patient case presentation. No alarms at all. I was that exhausted. And today, I just... took another 2 hours nap (heh) and reveled in the feeling of not thinking about any schoolwork at all. Gosh, I honestly feel like I'm floating on Cloud 9 because now I have time to rest, do self-care, and go back to the things I love (aka, writing, cooking, retail therapy, and reading). ❤️🥺

Thank you everyone for waiting so patiently! But before I do the next chapter, I'll have to revise the past chapters first. Don't worry, I'll update as to which chapters are already updated and rewritten! 💗

#thera.answers #jjk.works

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moveslikeanape · 4 months

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oh no worries, take your time with responding if you need to! i hope you had a good time visiting family, and a happy new year.

dreamlight valley is a pretty casual and simple game as well, though it does get somewhat frequent updates and have time-limited events to get cosmetics and such. but you can currently unlock every character (except for a handful that are part of a DLC expansion) just by playing the game, and have unlimited time to complete their quests. and it's available on PC as well. it's confirmed that tiana and mulan are coming this year, so i'm excited to see them! if tarzan were ever in these games like magic kingdoms or dreamlight valley, how do you think he'd react to being in a totally unfamiliar world with so many other humans like him? do you think he'd be excited, or more nervous, or maybe a mix of both? lorcana only has one treasure planet card right now, of john silver, but the game only released a few months ago so i'm really hopeful that we'll see more treasure planet cards in the future! i'm also hoping that at some point we'll get cards for atlantis: the lost empire. ooh, that tarzan art is great though, thank you for sharing it! i saw wish in theaters and had sort of mixed feelings about it myself, but i hope you enjoy it whenever you get to see it! seeing all the different movies celebrated in the credits made me glad i stayed to watch them, and there's also a really sweet little scene after the credits that's worth watching. ooh, if you'd like to read the article i came across, here's a link to it! https://www.forbes.com/sites/joshweiss/2019/06/17/youll-be-in-our-hearts-an-oral-history-of-disneys-tarzan-for-its-20th-birthday/?sh=50c8c0ab2b74 i actually have not read the original books, or watched any other tarzan adaptations for that matter, but i've heard a handful of things about how they compare to disney's version! i've heard that the books are a lot more violent, for example, that disney fleshed out jane more and gave her more to do, and that kerchak was the one who killed tarzan's father in the books. and, of course, disney's tarzan never learns that he's the earl of greystroke because he chooses to stay in the jungle with the family who raised him. which i think is a beautiful ending despite not being true to the books. would you recommend reading them? -🌟

I did, thank you! And a very happy New Year to you as well!

Unfortunately, my computer is apparently "too old" to be able to play Dreamlight Valley. I've tried but it won't let me. It currently works perfectly for everything I need it to do, so I'm in no rush to replace it. That's awesome that Tiana and Mulan are coming this year, love those characters! I personally think Tarzan would be far more excited to learn about everything new going on around him. He may be a little cautious, but for the most part he'd probably dive right into everything.

Very excited to see what the future holds for Lorcana, every card I see looks so incredible. Atlantis would be an amazing addition, there's so much they could do with it.

I've heard a lot of mixed reviews about Wish. I was really excited to see it, but Disney kind destroyed that by releasing the music. It started off fine, but the more songs I heard, the worse they got. Not a single one of my friends who have seen it liked it. Not having any expectations of liking it much myself, especially given the last few Disney movies… But if Tarzan's included in anyway (even just a small nod), I gotta see it, lol.

That was a great article, thank you so much for the link! So happy Mark Mancina was part of it, his music is so gorgeous and I've always felt he's been overshadowed by Phil Collins. Much as I love Phil, it's so nice to see Mark get the spotlight for a change.

I really enjoyed the books. Haven't been able to read all of them, but I have the first 6 and have read them all many times. They are more violent, and also have some racism and sexism. They are definitely best read if you go in keeping in mind they are a product of their time. They're over 100 years old, a very different time. The apes in the books are a fictional species, separate from gorillas. They have some human like qualities, such as ritual celebration after the vanquishing of an enemy. For both them and other animals (like lions, elephants, etc) I remember thinking he'd probably only heard of the animal and didn't know much about them (there are a LOT of lions in the jungle).

That's true about Kerchak killing Tarzan's father. Disney's Kerchak is kind of a mix between the novel's Kerchak and Tublat (Kerchak is the leader, Tublat is Kala's mate). There's another ape called Terkoz who is an enemy of Tarzan. They changed him into our Terk as a best friend. I would say Disney's Tublat from the tv series is closer to the Terkoz of the novel.

Overall I find the books very well written. I've always loved reading, but it's one of those books that somehow makes me fall even more in love with reading. It does a great job of transporting you to the jungle. I also found the characters are far more developed than I expected them to be. We have that stereotype image of Tarzan being an uncivilized brute, "me Tarzan, you Jane". But he's actually incredibly intelligent (don't want to spoil it, but the things he teaches himself!) and has better moral compass than you would image going into it. And I agree that the Disney ending is beautiful, it fits with the main themes of the movie and is truly the perfect ending to the story. But I think you would really like how it plays out in the books, Tarzan is the definition of a hero in every way.

The novel is actually also in 2 parts. You could get away with just reading the first one, but reading the second as well is definitely much more satisfying… this is making me want to read them again, lol. Better go move them to by to be read pile!

#strangers like me

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bearflowerr · 1 year

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hiya! ive got a couple of updates for lotusclan’s bane

as this project is pretty experimental, ive been figuring out a lot of different stuff as ive expanded it. its format has been changing a bit, but its not gonna be huge.

im going to start hosting it on ao3 for practicality reasons, so no more dumping it on a google doc. not used to using ao3 since i do mostly original writing but we’ll see how it goes!

i initially had planned chapter one to be pretty long, like around 15 pages, but i realized i can split that into multiple chapters and keep up with their scenes! i think having a bunch of shorter chapters at the beginning that will come out more frequently would be ideal for both myself and any readers!

as for the art, ill still be using the @lotusclan blog to post updates, but the art wont be as frequent with them. i anticipate reaching particular hiatus points i want to leave myself with, and between then is when ill take time to draw some scenes from the story.

but i hope youll be excited for these updates, especially since i have the next chapter up and ready tomorrow!!!

also happy birthday warrior cats

#meows

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globallong · 2 years

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Custom vrchat avatars

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS HOW TO

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS INSTALL

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS UPDATE

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS SOFTWARE

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS PC

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS HOW TO

In this sense, knowing how to obtain personalized avatars is shown to us as an interesting and fun task to execute in VRChat, try it.

Next we look for the downloaded package, and we open it, this opens in a small window, it will only be necessary to click on "Import" and that's it. To use the VRChat website, youll need to create a VRChat account here Create worlds and custom avatars VRChat Box or Bubble not showing Unfortunately.

Then click on “Import Assets” and proceed to select “Custom Assets”.

To open the project in Unity immediately it is necessary to click with the right mouse button on the “Project” section on our screen.

There is the possibility of familiarizing ourselves with Unity before exporting the completed projects.

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS SOFTWARE

It is necessary to note that exporting avatars can only be done after using the Unity software for some time.

Below we are shown a window with some tabs where it is possible to choose the "Builder" tab, there it is possible to build and publish for "Windows and Mac".

Select from the drop-down menu "Show control panel".

Proceed to publish the avatar: this is the last action we manage to perform and this is to know how to obtain personalized avatars, in this sense it is necessary:

We proceed to look for the "Avatar" in the search bar in such a way that we are shown an option indicating "VRC AvatarDescriptor", we only choose the option and there will be the place for our avatar.

Below is a menu with some options that can be used.

Proceed to click on the "Add Component" button at the bottom.

A descriptor and this simply imply going to the "Investigator" section on our screen.

Take care of establishing a VRChat Descriptor: we continue talking about How to obtain custom avatars and in this sense it is necessary to consider: Proceed to import the avatar: once we download the avatar it is necessary to import it into Unity, it is possible to have two ways, but what really matters here is to see the file in the scene and select the project. Join Our Discord Search Trending Avatars. VRCMods is the largest collection of free VRChat community avatars, we established in early 2018 and have been supporting the need for custom avatar solutions every day since.

We continue in our task to know how to obtain personalized avatars, and we are allowed to access a small window in order to log in to our VRChat account that we created when we downloaded the SDK.Ĭhoose the avatar to install: we continue working, and it is time to animate the avatar, it is feasible to look for something that can be moderately done, for this it is feasible to choose to enter, here we get a considerable amount of created avatars that we can perfectly well use and when selecting the one that we consider favorable, we only have to download it. The Largest Collection of VR Chat Avatars & 3D Unity Models.

We proceed to click on the first option that is shown to us, and it is "Configuration".

Next we will see the VRChat SDK, we must click on it in order to open the drop-down menu.

Open the program in order to start the task, this allows us to see the upper part of the screen.

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS INSTALL

Log in to VRChat in Unity: Once we have managed to download Unity and install it, it is necessary: It is advisable to go straight for version 3.0 and with it customize the avatars more comfortably.Then we must focus on downloading SDK 2.0 and 3.0, for this it is necessary to go to the VRChat website, create a new account in case of playing through Steam.Once this version is downloaded it is necessary to install it and this is a fairly simple process.We start by downloading the updated version of Unity which is 2018.4.20F1.The app makes it easy to create the perfect avatar for use in VrChat.

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS PC

It is necessary to consider some elements before entering the matter and for this it is important:Ĭhoose to download Unity and VR Chat SDK: this is a necessary action to know how to get custom avatars and thus play with something closer to us, for which we must consider: TafiAvatar is an avatar creator designed specifically for use with PC VR and Oculus. The mere possibility of getting into a virtual reality game is great, in this sense it is necessary to know how to obtain personalized avatars considering that there are different characters with which it can be played, this allows us to create and use them as avatars which is fabulous and when there is the possibility of personalizing them this becomes more interesting. What is the purpose of customizing avatars in VRChat?

CUSTOM VRCHAT AVATARS UPDATE

Vrchat update 2022.VRChat has for us the possibility of approaching a virtual reality and that is why we are going to talk to you about How to obtain personalized avatars

#Custom vrchat avatars

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tonkicartoon · 2 years

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Obs studio app

Obs studio app how to#

Obs studio app install#

Obs studio app android#

Obs studio app software#

OBS Studio has had 16 updates within the past 6 months. The workflow does take a little getting used to because it's not entirely intuitive, but nothing is so complex as to be unusable. Download OBS Studio for Windows to capture, mix, and stream your video in real time with a powerful and easy to use open source software. Mixing sources can be intimidating if you're doing it live, so you might want to get used to how things work by recording a few test videos. User experienceĪt first OBS Studio feels a little mysterious there's little guidance or indication about what you need to do first, and you may well find that getting up and running is a matter of trial and error if you're unfamiliar with this type of software. With support for Twitch, YouTube,, DailyMotion,, , Facebook Live and Restream.io, all of the major streaming services are covered.

Obs studio app software#

This can take the form of a recorded video – a good option if you would like the opportunity to go back and edit out mistakes, or you just want to be able to give things a check through – or you can live stream and mix at the same time. OBS Studio (also known as Open Broadcaster Software, or OBS) is a screen-casting and live-streaming software available across multiple platforms including. I recommend that you do your own research after going through this tutorial.Using OBS Studio you can not only record directly from your webcam and microphone, you can also incorporate footage from games, add in existing videos and still images, capture a window or portion of your screen, and much more. your iPhone camera as a video & audio input to stream using OBS Studio, weve got you covered.

Obs studio app how to#

There are numerous guides all over the internet on how to take the maximum advantage of OBS Studio. This program is a powerful tool that can help you do so much more with your streaming. The primary goal of this guide was to help you get started with OBS Studio. To stop your video, click the OBS application icon in the toolbar at the top of your. Click “Apply Settings.”Īnd voilà! OBS is ready to stream! Final Thoughts You may need to click the to see this icon. OBS will suggest the recommended settings. After entering the key, OBS will perform a bandwidth test to decide the appropriate bitrate for streaming. There are multiple platforms that OBS supports, including Twitch, YouTube, Facebook, and Mixer. The selections for this feature depend on multiple variables, like your hardware, internet connection, etc.Įnter your stream key. Depending on whether you want to stream or record, select the appropriate option.Ĭhoose the resolution and frame rate. The first step of the wizard is the optimization goal. Recording is a snap with this multifunctional application as OBS has the ability to record straight to your hard drive using a record only mode or in. OBS Studio (Open Broadcaster Software) is an application that allows you to record your video.

Obs studio app android#

In this tutorial, we will use the wizard for our example. Learn more on the listed best android OBS alternatives. Written in C / C++ and built with Qt, OBS Studio provides real-time capture, scene composition, recording, encoding, and broadcasting via the Real Time Messaging Protocol (RTMP). If you are an expert at using this program, you probably do not need to use this wizard. OBS Studio is a free and open-source app for screencasting and live streaming. Create scenes with multiple types of video sources, including your. If youre a macOS user, youll need this extra app. OBS Studio is a free and open source program for livestreaming and video recording. When OBS launches for the first time, you will be prompted to run the auto-configuration wizard. Open Broadcaster Software Studio (OBS Studio, or often just OBS) is an open-source program that is a.

Obs studio app install#

$ sudo flatpak install flathub Īfter installing, OBS Studio is now ready to do its job. OBS Studio - Free and open source software for live streaming and screen recording - GitHub - obsproject/obs-studio: OBS Studio - Free and open source.

#Obs studio app

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chikkou · 4 years

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masterpost on the ryan haywood (and adam kovic) situation

so i already made this post as a more general “whats wrong with rooster teeth” post, as i honestly didnt expect the ryan haywood/adam kovic situation to go as far as it has - but at this point i think it’s much more prudent to put that information into its own post because the situation with both of these men, ryan primarily, has gone off the fucking rails

tl;dr for the situation: ryan haywood and adam kovic both had nudes leak and were outed as cheating on their wives as a result of being catfished, but a great deal more information surfaced after the initial leak which led to the discovery that ryan haywood is a manipulative sexual predator, and adam kovic may have been sending sexual pictures and videos of his wife without her consent.

i will try to break down this post chronologically as best i can and provide ample sources, and i will update it as new information is gathered. please be aware that many of these sources will be coming from kiwifarms, as it has gathered all of the relevant info into one place, but i will not be linking to the thread directly for a myriad of reasons, so if you want to find it, youll have to look for yourself. apologies if any of the screenshots contain disagreeable language; i wouldnt link them if they werent relevant.

general tw for pretty much everything in this post. all pictures of people will be largely sfw, but there will be nsfw text under the cut. i will not link to any nudes of ryan or adam. this is going to be long as fuck.

here goes.

NOTE: this post is currently up-to-date as of january 28th, 7:27 pm (EST).

GENERAL BACKGROUND:

adam kovic and ryan haywood are both employees at the entertainment company rooster teeth. ryan has been working there since 2011, originally for more behind-the-scenes work before becoming a regular achievement hunter staple, while adam kovic was a personality who originally worked for machinima before he and a few others branched off to become funhaus. funhaus was later purchased by the media corporation fullscreen, as was rooster teeth, and both were merged sometime in 2014/2015.

HOW THIS ALL BEGAN:

sometime in august, there were rumors circulating on certain forum sites that a catfisher had been sexting with a handful of e-celebs, and had their nudes. a torrent link was put up containing the files, but was quickly taken down. this didnt gain much traction, but was brought up again on the same forum in late september/early october. this time, the person posted images directly, showing that they’d been sexting with adam kovic and ryan haywood.

according to them, they didnt get very far with ryan and so there were only a small handful of his pictures and videos, but there were over 400 of adam’s nudes, also pictures and videos, and some of which featured his wife. after this news broke, a thread was made on kiwifarms to document everything (the thread was created on october 4th). another thread was made on /pol/ shortly before this, claiming that ryan was grooming underaged fans, and that both ryan and adam had sexted with fans (both of age and underage). no sources or corroboration for this claim were given at the time.

WEEK 1, DAY 1 (october 4th):

initially, most of the focus was on adam, due to the sheer number of his nudes and the content within them. while people were suspicious of the veracity of ryan’s nudes, it became clear that the photos of adam were legitimate, as his face was shown in several of them, there was no evidence of photoshopping, and he has a distinct tattoo which made it pretty hard to dispute. heres a more sfw picture as an example.

the catfish had all of these images on hand, and due to the “sent to you” header on top we know that they were sent directly to the catfish, and not taken from adam’s phone, meaning he willingly sent these images to the catfish. note that his wife was indeed almost naked in the background (wearing only underwear), and there are multiple pictures and videos of her completely naked and sometimes even engaging in sex with adam. after a bit of analysis, people came to the conclusion that the pictures of ryan were real, as well.

ADAM’S WIFE, JESS KOVIC:

no response came from him at first, nor his wife - the only indication she gave that she knew what had happened was this cryptic comment on her instagram account, which she has since privated. no one is quite clear what this reaction means, nor has she confirmed or denied whether she consented to the pictures and videos being taken and sent to others.

soon after, people who’d (puzzlingly) decided to sift through the nudes discovered something jarring - some of the nudes he’d sent appeared to have been taken IN the rooster teeth office. heres a sfw example, but there were at least a dozen others taken in the same location.

RYAN:

ryan’s nudes were largely ignored in the beginning - there were a great deal more of adam’s, and while ryan’s were pretty standard nudes, adam’s were much more plentiful and had a lot more variety in the... activities depicted, shall we say. people were also fixated on the status of his wife’s consent in the matter, and so little attention was given to ryan, who was simply deemed a cheater and left at that.

ROOSTER TEETH & THE FANBASE:

unsurprisingly, rt attempted to immediately suppress any and all mention of the scandal when it first broke. heres an image of a handful of threads that were made on r/roosterteeth that day; as you can see, the ones highlighted in red have been deleted, and all were about the leaks. comments on the official rt site were instantly deleted as well. no official comment from the company or any of the employees, though a former funhaus employee (rahul kohli) commented mocking adam for the situation, and implied that things were worse than we yet realized.

WEEK 1, DAY 2 (october 5th):

although adam had been the primary focus of the first day of the news breaking, it began to look like there was little else to discuss with him. at worst, he seemed to be a cheater, and potentially sent nudes of his wife without her permission. still disgusting, but as there was no comment from him and no new updates on his situation, attentions turned, and a slow rumble began bubbling up with more accusations about ryan.

ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:

an anonymous twitter account, @brotherxteresa (whose account has since been suspended), claims to have been speaking to girls who’d been sexual with ryan. they state that everyone they’ve spoken to was of age - significantly younger than ryan, true, but still legally able to consent. however, they confirm that ryan has indeed been getting around with fans, both via sexting and in-person. he also strongly implies that the mods knew, and asks them to comment, but their responses are predictably vague. notably, though, is this tweet from @grandaddyskulls, in which they condemn “proven disgusting behavior,” heavily implying that the mods did indeed deal with “unproven” accusations against ryan in the past. unfortunately, there are no sources for this at this time.

on the same day, tumblr user @juggey creates this post, containing screenshots of a conversation they had with one of ryan’s victims. within those screenshots is this particularly interesting one, in which ryan receives a nude from the fan in question, only to ask, in an almost joking tone, if they “turned him into a felon” by sending a nude. they confirm that they are an adult, but it becomes clear that ryan did not know the age of the fan before getting sexual with them, and seems to have a very flippant and casual approach to this.

later on, this tweet is posted by @jasminewill123, confirming that ryan has indeed been messing with fans for years. no sources are posted, though, just a verbal confirmation. @brotherxteresa also reveals that he is speaking to someone who was solicited by ryan for sex when they were a minor in this tweet thread, but doesnt share any info, stating that the minor is saving it for a potential court case. there is also this tweet from someone stating that they slept with him in 2017, and that he claimed to have never had sex with a fan before and removed the condom mid-sex. once again, no corroboration for this just yet.

RT’S RESPONSE:

still mainly radio silence from the company, except for this tweet cancelling the days stream. replies on this post are locked almost instantly. rt also begins a quiet sweeping of all ryan and adam-centric content and videos, including a video of ryan reading “thirsty tweets” from fans, and straight up cut ryan out of certain videos (like a recent AHWU). some of these videos were archived, but we dont have a complete list of what was removed.

on the slightly less official side, r/roosterteeth issues a statement basically saying that any post attempting to discuss the leaks will be deleted immediately, and the people who post them will be reported (and likely banned).

WEEK 1, DAY 3 (october 6th):

we get our first confirmation of ryan having sexted a fan from @jasminewill123, in the form of this previously-unseen picture of ryan (it’s sfw but is clearly a cropped nude). rahul kohli again makes snide comments about adam and funhaus in general, but does not share any details of what he means. rumors spread that one of the former funhaus members, lawrence sonntag, has sent an email to his subscribers regarding adam kovic, but no evidence of that comes up yet. jess kovic posts this tweet plugging her online store, but still declines to comment on the situation. things are pretty quiet for a while, until finally, the first shoe drops.

TESSA GRAVES

at 4:13 pm, a woman named tessa graves posts this youtube video and links to it on her twitter account (with associated screenshots in the same thread). she discusses at length how she met ryan and when their relationship became sexual.

as a brief summary of her video: they met at a con in 2017, when she had just turned 17, and started talking on snapchat. the relationship was platonic for a while until tessa accidentally sent him a picture meant for a friend in which her bra strap was visible. ryan began to flirt with her after this, and soon their relationship became sexual, with nudes being exchanged and dirty texts being sent. she states in the video that ryan did not know her age, nor did he ask for it. the two of them sexted and sent nudes on and off for two years, and planned to hook up in person, but it never came to fruition.

shortly after uploading the video, she posts this screen-recording of her snap messages with ryan, scrolling back through months and months of messages between them, all the way back to late 2017. the snapchat account is confirmed to be his, and the screen-recording proves to be incredibly compelling evidence. this is the first girl to come out and say that ryan was sexual with her when she was underage, and that she did send him nudes as a minor. on her twitter account, someone noticed that ryan was online in the video and inquired about it - tessa confirms that ryan messaged her when he saw her recording their chat, but declined to share what his message said.

RYAN’S TWEET

around an hour after tessa’s video was posted, ryan posts this tweet, announcing his departure from rt. he states that he “made mistakes,” acknowledging that the pictures and screenshots were real, but specifically insists that he “did nothing illegal,” a clear comment on tessa’s accusation.

(he also asks people to stop harassing his family, but im unsure if the claim is true, as i personally have only seen people empathizing with his wife and children and no negative comments about them at all. he may be referring to people messaging his wife for comment on the situation, or he may just be straight up lying. given all hes done, the latter seems quite likely.)

people quickly begin speculating whether or not ryan was fired or quit of his own volition. personally, i believe the company offered him the option to either resign right then and there, or let them fire him publicly, and he chose the former. this is all speculation, though.

WEEK 1, DAY 4 (october 7th):

lawrence sonntag’s email to his subscribers finally gets leaked; it basically just says that hes grossed out and pissed off by what happened, and ends with the cryptic comment that “adam never washed his hands.” (he later stated that he meant this literally. EW!)

later the same day, adam privates his twitter account, and removes all references to rooster teeth and funhaus in his bio. shortly after, he unfollows everyone he was following and changes his icon and header to a black image. (basic public breakdown stuff, i suppose?)

NEW LEAK TIMELINE:

it’s discovered that an anonymous twitter user, @d74840281, had messaged ryan and adam weeks before regarding these leaks on september 18th. they also accuse ryan, adam, and several other youtube personalities - alec paul, kootra, nenreaper, and dormstreams - of “grooming the same minor.” (i dont know any of those people, but it seems relevant so i added it.)

it’s also revealed that the r/funhaus subreddit was aware of the leaks 2 weeks beforehand, meaning that the info was successfully suppressed until october 4th, and that it was likely well-known by all funhaus members and probably general rt staff, as well.

RT’S RESPONSE:

the official rt account on roosterteeth.com posts this update to their programming schedule, cancelling several rttv programs, putting both achievement hunter and funhaus on a week long break, and delaying the premiere of two new shows (”rvb zero” and “grudge night”)

not long after, they post these tweets stating that they have “parted ways” with both adam and ryan, confirming that both men are no longer rt employees. they are deliberately vague about whether the men were fired or quit, but given the responses from both, i think ryan likely chose to resign instead of be fired, and adam was probably just fired outright.

RYAN’S MODS:

you may recall that, on the second day, the question of whether the mods knew about ryan’s doings was posed. their answers were, of course, extremely vague, but one of them in particular strongly implied that the mods had dealt with some kind of accusation against ryan in the past and either ignored or actively suppressed it. well, sure enough, two of the mods (@grandaddyskulls and @ohdeerbambi/) post tweets admitting that they knew the entire time.

specifically, they state that someone came forward with accusations of ryan behaving inappropriately two years ago (2018), coupled with screenshots. the mods confronted ryan about this, and when ryan (predictably) lied about it, they decided to drop it instead of pursuing it further.

ADAM’S TWEET:

at 10:49 pm, adam finally speaks up with a post on twitter, formally stating that he is leaving funhaus. he apologizes to his coworkers and fans, but primarily apologizes to his wife, stating that he has “upturned her life.” he describes the events thus far as an “unbelievable breach of privacy and peeling back of [his] life,” and says that he is stepping away in order to focus on repairing his relationship with his wife and working on himself.

while we still have no confirmation on whether his wife consented to having those pictures and videos taken, we know with a good amount of certainty now that she did not consent to having them sent to others. this would likely qualify as revenge (or otherwise non-consensual) porn in the state of california, so if she pressed charges, adam would likely see jail time.

CAST MEMBERS REACT:

the first direct response from cast members come from michael, jeremy, and lindsay, stating their feelings of anger and betrayal, and strongly implying that none of them were aware of the goings-on. (while they definitely HAVE to say this cookie-cutter stuff for the sake of their image, i will say that theres really not much else a person can say in a situation like this while still being professional. i do tentatively believe all three of them, with the most doubt on michael.)

at this time, lawrence sonntag unfollows ryan, as do gus and lindsay. interestingly, the first person ryan unfollows himself is lindsay - this could potentially mean that lindsay actually blocked him, which forces the other person to unfollow.

WEEK 1, DAY 5 (october 8th):

at this point, discussion of adam kovic all but tapers off. he has gone full radio silent, and no one has come out with any more stories about him, so it seems very likely that his wrongdoings begin and end with the initial sexting and sending nudes of his wife. the conversation begins to turn to focus on ryan in earnest.

RYAN’S WIFE:

a reddit post (that is sadly deleted now) is uncovered from 3 months ago that reveals he and his wife have been sleeping in separate rooms for some time - we’re unsure exactly how long, but most people who’ve mentioned it have said it started in may. according to ryan, this was because his wife was exposed to covid at her job, but the quarantine period for covid is only 2 weeks - why would they be sleeping in separate rooms for so long when they clearly were not doing so before?

it is speculated that his wife may have somehow learned of ryan’s dalliances, as he was also seen without his wedding ring in streams much more often around the same time. it is unknown exactly why, though, so take this with a grain of salt.

MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:

a deleted user on reddit makes a post stating that they, too, sexted with ryan while they were also married. their husband found out and threatened to leak the info, but the user was able to convince him not to do so and he - according to op - deleted what proof he had. although the original post is now deleted, a pinned moderator comment on it states that the user provided proof corroborating the story in private. you can read a copy-pasted version of that story here. (apologies if it’s out of order.)

MORE CAST MEMBER COMMENTARY:

a list of all known cast member statements can be found here. it’s pretty comprehensive, but there are some i want to address here directly:

lindsay snaps at someone who tries to call her out for “not supporting her family” (meaning ryan). this, for me, is the big reason why i feel that she, at the very least, is being sincere.

blaine posts this.... weird video of him working out and captions it “me figuring out how to convert anxiety into energy.” i guess it’s supposed to be somewhat of a mood lightener, but honestly it just feels kind of trivializing to me. idk what he was thinking LMAO

aaron marquis makes this... interesting (and vague) comment. no further elaboration on it, but it’s definitely unique in comparison to many others.

meg’s statement strikes me as particularly devoid of sincerity. it may just be confirmation bias, but i just feel like it’s incredibly hollow in comparison to the others (which are also kind of hollow LMAO).

joel heyman, who was fired from rt not long ago, doesnt comment directly, but does like this tweet which calls him “the only non-degenerate connected to rt.” (OCT. 12 EDIT: he has since posted this tweet with no context, but i think it’s pretty clear what hes referring to.)

tina dayton, streamer and wife of ray, posts this tweet letting people know that mentioning the ryan/adam situation to ray in streams will not be tolerated. (OCT. 21 EDIT: she posts this tweet a few days later, on october 15th, decrying anyone who wants to play “devils advocate” in support of an abuser against their victim.)

JAN 30 EDIT: this is very late, but sometime on or before january 6th, alfredo briefly discussed the ryan haywood situation on his stream and berated those who still support him. his closing statement is the perfect summation of all of these events: fuck ryan haywood.

WEEK 1, DAY 6 (october 9th):

adam kovic deletes his twitter account, and all other public social media. this is the last piece of relevant adam kovic information for several months to come.

MICHELLE VOLOGS

at 11:26 am, a twitter user named @MichelleVologs posts this tweet, containing a link to this video, called “what you need to know about ryan haywood,” in which she asserts - with proof - that she and ryan had sex on september 23rd 2017, when she was 17 years old.

brief summary: they began talking when she was 17 and dm’d him on instagram. it was platonic at first, but he began flirting with her and trying to sext with her, at which point she inquired about the nature of his relationship with his wife. he insisted that they were in a “sexless marriage” because his wife hates sex, and that he needed to seek it out elsewhere. (we have no idea if this is even remotely true - the only source claiming this is ryan himself.) they sexted for a while, then eventually met up in california and had sex in person (and much like the story that @jasminewill123 told, ryan removed the condom in the middle of sex). when michelle told ryan that she was underage, he simply stated that it was okay and that he “trusted her.”

she shows screenshots throughout the video of their instagram dms, as well as some candid shots of ryan in their hotel room. (people have speculated that the latter two pictures may be ryan removing his wedding ring.) this picture also proves that they definitely met in person. take note of the fact that, in the dms, michelle keeps the conversation very platonic and professional - ryan is the one to initiate the sexual talk, and with zero prompting.

on top of this, michelle is also the first person to posit the idea that ryan deliberately chose to pursue young girls with mental health issues, a notion that will crop up again later.

EVEN MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS

a reddit user by the name of “klowbie-frenzy” states that they, too, were victimized by ryan, though they dont publicly share their story or any particular info. they are encouraged to go to rt directly.

WEEK 1, DAY 7 (october 10th):

ryan begins deleting tweets, but other than that is completely radio silent. people analyzing ryan’s instagram notice this post, made on september 24th 2017 - the day after he and michelle had sex. sure enough, he is still in LA as he was the day before, and michelle herself comments on the post in a clear reference to the events of the day before, reasserting that she is telling the truth.

LEIGH:

yet another girl, leigh, comes forward and says she was sexually involved with ryan. she posts this (very long) document to her twitter account @leigh__sucks, which details the entirety of her relationship with ryan. unlike tessa and michelle, leigh was over 18 during the course of her experience with ryan (she was 20 when they first started talking).

brief summary of the document: she started messaging ryan on snapchat in 2017, and it remained platonic until february 2018, when they exchanged nudes for the first time. they sexted for a while, until hooking up for the first time at rtx 2018. leigh told someone she knew about the encounter, and this person began harassing leigh and ryan about it, threatening to tell his wife and leaving nasty comments on ryan’s stream. eventually the person backed off, and ryan and leigh continued sexting and meeting up for sex, on and off. according to her, they sexted as recently as september 2020.

this story is MUCH different than tessa’s and michelle’s, as leigh was still engaging with ryan fairly actively until only a month ago, and had a different perspective as an adult than the two underaged girls would have had. still, she is absolutely correct that ryan held a similar power over her due to his celebrity status, and that he took advantage of this.

she also provides screenshots and pictures of the two of them in the thread. although it is all VERY convincing - as if everything else hes done wasnt enough - theres something particularly unique in her thread, which is these screenshots of payments sent to her by ryan, under the name “sorta malicious gaming.” why is ryan sending leigh money under this name relevant? well...

RYAN’S DONATIONS:

one of ryan’s mods reveals that the email ryan used to send this money was connected to his stream. according to ryan, the money he received from twitch donations and bits went to his children’s college funds, or any necessary big-ticket expenditures like home repairs - however, as we can see here, that was a complete lie. this means that all donations he received, which he claimed went to taking care of himself and his family, were actually being spent on gifts and plane tickets for the girls he was hooking up with. im not sure if he could get into any legal trouble here - im doubtful, since they are donations - but this is just another way he took advantage of his fans, only this time is financial instead of sexual. and speaking of taking advantage of fans...

RYAN “VENTS” TO LEIGH:

shortly after posting her document, leigh added an update to say that ryan had redownloaded snapchat and that she’d immediately began taking screenshots. surprisingly, ryan messaged her and asked if she’d speak with him. leigh agreed (for the purpose of getting more screenshots, according to her), and ryan began talking about how his marriage and career were over, how he never meant to victimize anyone, and that the girls coming out would rather “make him the bad guy” than accept that theyd slept with him willingly.

leigh mentions that it occurred to her how ryan would always cast doubt on any rumors by claiming that whatever girl hed been involved with was “crazy,” and notes that he did the same to her, all while calling her his “friend.” this will be relevant again later.

ryan goes on to point the finger at leigh specifically, saying that he ‌“still‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌know‌ ‌if‌ ‌[she] ‌was‌ ‌going‌ ‌to‌ ‌add‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌fire‌ ‌at‌ ‌this‌ ‌point,”‌ ‌and‌ ‌how‌ ‌he‌ ‌“hoped‌ ‌[she wouldn’t]‌ ‌for‌ ‌his‌ ‌kids’‌ ‌sake.” all the while, leigh notes that he was deleting messages, proving to her that ryan was more fixated on his image and manipulating her into doing what HE wanted, rather than doing the right thing. here are screenshots of the conversation between leigh and ryan, and here are some clearer photos (as some are a bit blurry due to being taken on another phone).

WEEK 2, DAY 1 (october 11th):

this day is mostly quiet as people attempt to digest the absurd influx of information from the days prior, as well as the huge bombshell dropped by leigh in particular.

RYAN’S DISCORD SERVER:

it’s discovered that ryan likely found out about the leaks very early on (either the very first day, or the day of tessa’s accusation), because he was noted as being online in his discord server, which he apparently rarely used.

the users in his discord server immediately disown him upon learning of his preying on minors, and assert that the server is now a general server instead of a ryan haywood server.

YOU GUESSED IT - MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:

this tweet thread is made by @trickstress_ stating that, while working with “the madhouse” (not exactly sure what this is, but it seems like some kind of ryan-themed community server), they attempted to get ryan to address a situation occurring behind the scenes in which someone was being bullied and harassed by other members. when ryan is sent five pages of screenshots and evidence, he basically says that screenshots are not proof and that the victim simply “wanted” to be offended. this caused trick and a few others to leave the madhouse.

in the same screenshot, he mentions a situation involving another certain user that he is dealing with (the name of the person in question is redacted in blue), and trick speculates that the person in blue may be another one of ryan’s victims.

meanwhile, twitter user @eacalpreon (whose account appears to be deleted) states that they uncovered this tumblr post from august 25th, 2019, about someone who spotted ryan at an austin hotel they used to work at, entering a hotel room booked by someone that was certainly NOT his wife. at the time of posting, this was simply brushed off as speculation and ignored.

KAYLA:

at 10:03 am, this tweet is posted by @HADERSRICHIE/, detailing yet another story of their encounters with ryan. unlike other stories, kayla unfortunately does not have any screenshot evidence due to losing it all after unfriending ryan from snapchat in 2018 - but in all honesty, at this point we know hes guilty, so that part is not as relevant.

brief summary of the document: the two began talking on snapchat in february 2017, but they didnt begin talking regularly until june 2017, after kayla had moved to austin (for non-related reasons). kayla reveals that she is the user from trick’s tweet thread that was bullied out of the madhouse, and that ryan was not only unhelpful, but was actively telling people that she was a “crazy psycho.” she also backs up the idea that ryan seemed to deliberately target girls with mental health issues. in late 2017/early 2018, the two “make up” and ryan initiates sexual talk. within the first day of flirting, ryan sends kayla a dick pic. the two sexted for a while, and eventually did hook up in person. they hooked up 3 times in total before kayla unfriended ryan on snapchat and ceased all communication with him.

unlike other cases, kayla was of age (23/24) when this all went down. later on, trick confirms on reddit that kayla was indeed the person from her tweet thread whose name was censored in blue.

DOT:

at 3:37 pm, this tweet thread is posted by @alijdotroro stating that she was also involved with ryan for a few months. her thread is fairly short, and she states that they never had sex in person or anything to the same extent as some of the others - he flirted with her for the first time while she was at a concert, it continued for several months, then he got bored and stopped it. dot was unable to provide screenshots as she had deleted her snapchat.

JACK’S STATEMENT:

jack pattillo posts this tweet at 8:16 pm, containing this document regarding the ryan (and adam) situation. he first addresses his feelings of anger, betrayal, and guilt, stating that he feels somewhat responsible as he helped to create the same platform that ryan abused. he goes on to thank everyone who has had kind words for him and the other rt staff, and states that while he knows everyone handles rough situations differently, he hopes that people can understand his desire to think positively. he goes on to say that he knows it will be difficult for fans to trust rt going forward, but that he hopes they will give rt another chance and that they (rt) “will be better - [they] have to be.”

as far as all of the statements go, in my opinion, this one is the most sincere of all (although lindsay’s is definitely the most sincere for me) - jack clearly wrote this himself instead of using standard “shocked” quotes as many of the other rt cast did, and while it is definitely very damage control-y, i can easily tell that he, at the very least, is taking the matter seriously. this doesnt necessarily mean that jack 100% didnt know, but at this point i am inclined to believe that he didnt.

WEEK 2, DAY 2 (october 12th):

twitter user @fantaisieally discusses her own experiences with ryan haywood; they chatted on snapchat starting in 2017, she would often go to him for dating advice, and while ryan finally tried to hit on her, he got completely deaded when she told him that he was “like her older brother.” honestly this one is just really funny to me, like she completely curved his ass and he had to flounder talking about “i was JOKING lol just a joke!” it’s pretty glorious after all this terrible shit.

someone on reddit notes that after ally turns him down, ryan doesnt apologize or anything, but instead continues the “joke” in such a way that prompts her to accept his offer while still giving him plausible deniability. (that phrase is going to come up quite a bit with regard to his overall “strategy.”)

KATIE B:

at 9:08 am, twitter user @frizzical/ posts this tweet thread, documenting her own relationship with ryan. she states that, while their relationship thankfully never turned sexual, ryan absolutely attempted to groom her into sex and even mentioned her to another girl, saying he wanted a threesome with both of them.

brief summary of the document: katie started watching his streams when she was 17, and ryan knew her by name very quickly. they started talking on snapchat shortly after she turned 18, and although it was generally rt-related, one day she reached out asking for advice on a personal situation that ryan was incredibly helpful with, leading to them talking semi-regularly. they talked about katie’s abusive home life and mental health issues, and while things were mostly platonic, ryan would sometimes drop inappropriate questions in, such as if katie was a virgin and what her sexuality was. when katie hit hard financial times, ryan attempted multiple times to send her money, and when katie refused to take charity, he would make a “joke” about having her pay it off with sex.

eventually ryan forced her to accept the money, stating that he would no longer speak to her if she didnt. ryan was katie’s main support system, and so she felt she had no choice but to accept it. she states that he sent her $1000 in total, all of which came from his twitch’s paypal. he also actively tried to turn katie against her best friend - kayla, who was the other victim mentioned on week 2, day 1 (october 11th) - by telling her that kayla was crazy, but this did not work. in 2019, katie moved in with ryan’s mod bambi, and ryan very suddenly cut off contact completely. ryan and katie got back in contact as recently as earlier this week, and when she began taking screenshots of their snap conversations, ryan dm’d her on twitter to confront her about it, further trying to manipulate her. she ends with a message of support for the other girls.

the messages ryan sent katie are viewable in the thread, but i would like to link them directly here to show how he manipulates victims. notice how he once again pins the blame on the victim for taking screenshots, instead of himself for being a fucking creep.

RT’S RESPONSE:

they’ve been pretty quiet the last few days, but someone noticed that the off topic podcast episode #177 has been removed from iOS podcasts. this episode is the one where the guys discuss ryan’s habit of leaving business trips a day late. i find it extremely interesting that the company is claiming ignorance of the situation, yet would remove this VERY key piece of information in the process.

OFF TOPIC #177

i originally just had this as a bulletpoint in the miscellanous info section, but decided to move it to its own segment because it is actually quite significant to this story. in this video, michael, jeremy, gavin, ray, geoff, and andy blanchard discuss ryan’s habit of always leaving business trips a day late.

quick description: michael brings up a conversation he had with ryan about staying an extra day on business trips, and paraphrases ryan as saying that he prefers to stay away longer because “[his wife] isnt gonna watch [the kids], im not gonna get a fucking second at home.” michael then states that theyve “gotten to the bottom of this,” that ryan just wants to sleep before “going home to that nightmare.”

as michael is talking, geoff and jeremy both go quiet and look very pensive and glassy-eyed, while ray tries to joke that the quote was a “cry for help from ryan” but immediately frowns after saying so. gavin, jeremy, and andy are completely quiet for the entire second half of the video. michael tries to paper over it by saying that ryan loves his kids very much as evidenced by their frequent appearances in his streams, but a visibly-uncomfortable ray makes another “joke” that having his kids appear in his videos is “easy money.”

then there is a VERY awkward silence in which everyone looks super uncomfortable, jeremy takes a massive gulp of his drink, ray has his hand over his mouth as he stares hard at michael and shakes his head repeatedly (as if telling him to stop talking), and geoff lets out a HUGE sigh, as if he’s just realized something terrible. michael ends the clip with the comment that they didnt “jack” ryan, meaning that they werent making fun of ryan to have him come on the podcast and defend himself. (OCT. 12 EDIT: thanks to @juggey for clarifying this!) although it’s not included in this short clip, the full podcast shows that the incredibly tense moment is cut by fiona nova immediately walking on set with a puppy out of nowhere. very fucking weird.

while it is largely circumstantial, i find this clip is extremely telling, and i think this is the moment where they realized that something was going on with ryan’s homelife (either they recognized that the real reason he wanted to stay behind was to cheat, or they’d simply put together that he was not happy at home for whatever reason). the fact that this off topic is one of the only ones to have been taken down also really strikes me as important.

ALISON

at 2:31 pm, twitter user @adothop posted some screenshots of conversations between herself and ryan. they did not have a sexual relationship, but looks like ryan tried hard (and failed hard LMAO) at flirting with her, to no avail. not much else to say about this one - it’s pretty straightforward.

RYAN’S STATEMENT

at 7:48 pm (around the same time i uploaded this post, lmao), ryan posted this statement on his twitter account, discussing the events of this past week. he takes full accountability for his actions, stating that he abused his position and crossed the line as a public figure, while also asking that people stop harassing his family. the statement’s about as cookie cutter as it can get - after all, what can a person really say to absolve themselves after being outed as doing so much horrid stuff?

i again am skeptical of the claim that his family is being harassed, though i dont doubt that people are harassing HIM directly, but in any case it’s as much of a non-apology as one might expect. he even tries to shift blame by saying he “always came from a place of what [he] thought was a shared connection.” it’s boilerplate bullshit, as usual.

ANOTHER RH STORY ANON

sometime around 9 pm, a reddit user going by r/anotherrhstoryanon (i will call them anon for short) put this post on the r/roosterteeth subreddit, and linked to a 30 page google doc detailing their relationship with ryan. the timeline of this one is very difficult to parse, but i will do my best to lay it out clearly. particular tw for this story - it describes in detail sexual abuse, physical abuse, and features ddlg heavily throughout. i will not be linking any images directly - please view the doc for those.

(not-so)-brief summary: im not certain of when ryan and anon originally started talking, but the earliest message shown in their conversation is from december 2016, and the first time they met up in person was april 2017. they were “together” for at least a year, as anon states that it took them until march 2018 to begin distancing themselves from ryan. their relationship was HEAVILY steeped in dd/lg culture - ryan almost solely referred to anon as names like “little girl,” “baby girl,” even calls them “kiddo” in the VERY FIRST SCREENSHOT and asks if theyve ever been with an older man. given that he already dipped below the age of consent twice (that we know of - we currently do not know the age of this anon), this is a very horrifying start.

anon admits pretty early on - to both ryan (in the screenshots) and the reader - that they were very intimidated by him, and felt a sort of compulsion to do as he ordered. but as they say quite clearly, they realized soon into their “relationship” that even though they wanted to please ryan so he’d like them, they hated having sex with him, hated BEING sexual with him, and just generally hated being with him. although they enjoyed sex the first time, they note that sex with ryan was rough and painful every time after, leading to them tearing more than once and bleeding EVERY time, and sometimes causing them to be unable to sit or walk after.

ryan not only ignored anon every time they asked him to be more gentle, but seemed to get off on it, making comments about how they “needed more abuse” or that they “had to work up to it.” on top of all this, ryan would not wear a condom while having sex with anon, and lied to them about them being the only fan he was having sex with - which they believed until august 2020, more than two years later, when ryan said there was “one other fan.” in actuality, ryan had been sleeping with multiple girls and often removing the condom during sex, a fact well-documented here.

anon ends the document by tying their story to several other known facts, to show the pattern of ryan’s behavior, and sharing some other pertinent info. some of these include:

- a picture of them taken in a hotel room mirror, in an identical room and position to the picture leigh took.

- this video, at timestamp 8:27, of the off topic podcast #87. in this short moment, ryan idly licks a cupcake. anon shows a screenshot in which ryan messaged her and admitted that he was thinking about her while he was licking it.

- screenshots of ryan attempting (again with limited success) to give anon money or buy them presents. anon was resistant to this, as katie had been, but ryan managed to convince them to accept a remote controlled sex toy. later in the same exchange, he uses the term “plausible deniability” again. there is a reason this keeps cropping up - he very likely used the phrase often.

- a screenshot of anon telling ryan point blank that the power dynamic between them was imbalanced. this message is dated may 23rd, 2020 - and around june 12th, 2020 was leigh’s exchange with ryan, in which he tells leigh that he is older and “some kind of quasi-internet person,” and is worried this will influence her.

- screenshots of ryan admitting to choking anon without their permission. according to anon, this was not the first time he did something to them without permission, and it wasnt even the non-consensual act anon was referring to when they brought it up. i sincerely cannot overstate my fucking disgust here.

there is a lot more i can get into here, but im going to cut it off here for the sake of brevity (and out of disgust, honestly). please consider reading all 30 pages, if you can stomach it - it truly is even worse than it sounds. theres a reason i didnt link to any of their messages directly.

WEEK 2, DAY 3 (october 13th):

sometime earlier in the week (im not sure when, as the “adam kovic” aspect of the story has been pretty much lost the plot), jess kovic deletes her twitter account. the reason why is pretty easy to guess. then, sometime today, it’s discovered that she has also deleted all posts containing pictures of adam on her instagram account.

(JAN 30 EDIT: this was originally an archive link which showed all of the most recent posts on jess’s insta, of which quite a few adam ones had been deleted [i saw it myself the day it was posted]. unfortunately, it appears the archive was taken down, so ive replaced the original link with a screenshot from kiwifarms of the first person to mention it on the thread. i know thats not amazing proof, but sadly its the best i can do.)

this all but confirms that jess did not consent to having those pictures/videos sent to other people, if she consented to having them taken at all, and this makes adams actions even more disgusting than we initially believed them to be.

RH ANON PT. 2:

people are still reeling from the absolutely horrendous document released the day before (oct. 12) when anon posts a short update on the very last page of the doc, which you can read here. they clear up some points that people were confused on; most are not relevant for our purposes, but the biggest one is that anon confirms they were NOT underage during their “relationship” with ryan and that he knew this.

anon also confirms that ryan deliberately lied about the circumstances of their “relationship” in order to keep them from backing out of it, as he knew they would not want to proceed with a sexual relationship if he admitted the truth. based on context, i am taking this to mean that he lied about not sleeping with anyone else, and about wearing condoms if he did.

MEGASHINY:

at 3:04 pm, ryan’s mod meg (who i will be calling by her username, megashiny, for the sake of clarity) posts this tweet, which contains a link to this document. in this document, she admits that ryan took advantage of his position over her (as, being his mod, she was basically his employee) and started sending her nudes without consent in september 2017 (she says it was a sunday, so either the 6th, 13th, 20th, or 27th - notice the proximity to his encounters with michelle and tessa).

brief summary: he played the same card he had with the others, talking about his sexless marriage, and convinced megashiny to sleep with him. when she asked him point blank how many other girls he was involved with, he lied and said only one or two - as we clearly note, there were many, many more than that. she did not want to sleep with him, but like anon from yesterday, felt compelled to do what he asked. even when megashiny tried to say no to a sex act he wanted to do, he told her he “knew how to make her say yes.” he also knew about her having adhd and anxiety, and in conjunction with the other girls, strikes me as yet another continuation of his pattern of targeting mentally ill and neurodivergent women and girls.

while megashiny was somewhat close in age to ryan (she was 28 at the time), if youll notice in her picture, she is quite thin and small in stature - both of which contribute to her looking pretty young. while i do believe ryan knew her age, it would not surprise me if he pursued her because she had the APPEARANCE of being in her late teens.

megashiny posts an update later the same day, detailing the exact method weve seen happen with the other girls before - ryan would “throw all this attention and praise at [them], make [them] feel special,” only to “basically ghost [them].” this left the girls feeling like theyd done something wrong, but in actuality, it was all part of his plan to keep them dependent on and obedient to him. these same patterns crop up in every story, no matter the variables.

she also admits that she essentially helped ryan with his “sexcapades” by either covering for him, encouraging the girls to sleep with him, or just generally keeping her mouth shut regarding what she knew about them. (this part is very vaguely described, so i can only surmise what she means specifically, but i do think this is essentially what she is saying.) shortly after she posted this, ryan called her and begged her for over an hour to not divulge anymore information, and to “think of his wife and kids.”

RYAN BEGINS MESSAGING VICTIMS:

at 7:04 pm, michelle posts this tweet, with the caption “how it started vs how it ended (hopefully, and please stop harassing me)” and two pictures. the first picture is of her first exchange with ryan on instagram; the second picture is a more recent message from ryan (not sure exactly what day it was received, but as it still shows his old icon, it is definitely a few days old), begging her to take down her video and tweets and to “think about his kids.” (brief tw for suicide mention in the next two paragraphs.)

he even goes so far as to strongly imply that he is going to kill himself, telling michelle that he is “going to die” and that “he will die for this if you [michelle] want.” from the statement michelle made, it seems likely that he has sent her similar messages over the course of the last week. michelle must have blocked him on his original account, because he then made this throwaway account and dm’d her again, repeating the same sort of rhetoric and begging her to remove her statements “for his kids.”

in the same tweet thread, another victim, ileena (who was shown accusing ryan very early on in a previous screenshot) posts an old screenshot of a conversation between her and ryan, in which she is actively suicidal and ryan begs her not to kill herself because “practically there’s no way they wouldnt investigate and figure out you and i had stuff going on.” he straight up tells her that he doesnt want her to die because their affair will be discovered.

(note: ileena’s original screenshot contains a full, unblocked number that could potentially belong to ryan - but DO NOT CONTACT THIS NUMBER. he is a disgusting monster, but it is not anyone’s place to needlessly antagonize him, and we dont even know that that is his actual number to begin with. i am only putting this disclaimer because the screenshot is easily viewable in the thread; i wouldnt even mention it otherwise.)

CAS:

not long after midnight, @slayercas/ (who i will refer to as “cas” for short) posts this cryptic tweet, strongly hinting at needing to say something important, but being scared to do so due to a lack of evidence - the surrounding tweets are all about ryan haywood, making it highly likely they are alluding to having been one of his victims. approximately 4 hours later, they received this message from a throwaway account, ostensibly owned by ryan.

notably, though, is the fact that this is NOT the same throwaway account which ryan was messaging michelle from - the account michelle was messaged from is @pleaseR73880233, while the account cas was messaged from, although the name is partially obscured, ends with the number “7384736.” no confirmation on cas’s claim, nor whether the account is truly ryan’s.

(OCT. 14 EDIT: the full name seems to be @pleaseR27384736, which originally led to this cryptically bereft page. note the join date, amount of tweets, and amount of followers - the account was in use for quite some time, and may have had a different username before messaging cas. someone also takes note of the fact that there was an intern named “amber” who worked at rooster teeth years ago, but so far no connection has been made between the name and anyone else.

sadly, this account has since been deleted, so no proper analysis of who it is following and who follows it can be done. the username has since been taken and the account replaced with this - take their personal opinion with a grain of salt.)

MJ:

at 9:21 am, twitter user @mjmills_ posts these tweets containing these screenshots of a recent conversation with ryan. although she declines to share her story right then, she notes that ryan has been taking screenshots of their old conversations, a statement which causes ryan to message her asking “where [she is] on the hate meter” and once again trying to manipulate her. although nothing is forthcoming right away, this will pop up again later.

WEEK 2, DAY 4 (october 14th):

rt’s community manager, jackie izawa, announces her departure from the company. i cant even imagine how much shit she was inundated with after this news broke, but given that she explicitly mentions her mental health being a factor in her decision, im willing to bet it was a lot.

joel heyman also posts this incredibly eyebrow-raising tweet, clearly accusing rt staff of having known full well about ryan’s actions ahead of time. given that he was fired not long ago, it is entirely possible that he is just stirring the pot - but as he is a former rt founder, there may be some truth to his claim. if it IS true, however, then it reflects just as poorly on him, as it means that he ALSO knew about ryan and did nothing.

RYAN’S SOCIAL MEDIA:

sometime in the morning (before 11 am), ryan deletes his twitter account and his instagram. the throwaway account that was used to message michelle is also deleted around the same time, making it highly likely that it did indeed belong to ryan.

interestingly, the account that messaged cas is not deleted until much later (somewhere around 1:30-2 pm), and not before sending some more harassing messages. note the final message which says that “[his] family can’t handle another story coming out.” this strongly implies that there are even more girls than we’ve already seen - and counting every single accusation we know of, not just confirmed ones, we’ve already gotten somewhere between 10-15 girls.

CAS PT. 2:

after some more messages from the potential ryan account, cas posts this follow-up tweet to clarify some points. she states clearly that she was NOT underage, and lives local to austin, which would explain both her fears about speaking out and how she could have encountered ryan.

JACK AND MICHAEL:

in the early afternoon, jack and michael go live on youtube to do a stream together - but first, the monumental task of discussing ryan. (OCT. 14 EDIT: the original video was privated almost immediately after its conclusion; here is a reupload. it is sadly missing quite a few moments due to the site crashing periodically, but the majority of their conversation is there.)

some key bits from the conversation:

- the first minute or so, both jack and michael have difficulty speaking, and stutter/stop short quite a bit before jack finally begins to talk in earnest. jack expresses disgust and regret immediately, apologizing to the community for “letting [them] down,” and thanks people who have been supportive to the victims and rt staff.

- michael point blank states that the achievement hunter staff - and probably more, also - were put into “counseling.” he does not specify whether he means LEGAL counseling or EMOTIONAL counseling, but given the way both he and jack act throughout the video, im all but certain that it’s the latter.

- jack asks that people not bother geoff, as he is “going through his own stuff,” and strongly implies that the situation with ryan has thrown him for a massive loop and possibly sent him into a downward spiral.

- michael states that they will NOT be discussing ryan at all during off-topic, and notes that they no longer want to even mention his name, let alone spend time talking about him at length (and, indeed, they do not address him by name in the video even once - jack mainly refers to him as “that guy” or “that monster,” while michael only refers to ryan as “he” or “him”). i personally am in pretty strong disagreement with the way theyve chosen to approach this, but i can understand the reasoning behind it.

- jack announces the return of rt extra life, and states that they will be doing a full week of 12 hour streams instead of one 24 hour stream “to make up for all the shit that happened this year.”

- this is a small moment, and COMPLETE conjecture on my part, but i noticed it pretty quickly; at timestamp 14:15, when michael’s child cries off-screen, he slightly turns toward that direction, then seems to suddenly get upset and turns his face away from the camera, so his hair and hat obscure most of his profile. he seems to take a hard swallow, bites his lip (which is quivering), and rubs his face hard before turning back toward the camera. all of these things in conjunction make it seem that he was biting back tears, or otherwise chasing away some bad thought (possibly about ryan’s kids?).

while i, as always, remain skeptical that no one knew about ryan, i do have to admit that this video is extremely saddening to watch. jack is audibly on the verge of tears for the entire 20-minute video, and michael looks absolutely miserable from beginning to end, as well - his hair is visibly unkempt under his hat, and his face is contorted into a grimace pretty much the whole time, all of which speaks to a sincere depressive state. in any case, rt as a whole has been well and truly fucked by this series of events.

SURVIVORS OF RYAN PT. 1:

earlier in the day, the twitter account @survivorsofryan (run by katie) received these dms from an anonymous account, stating that they were involved with ryan many years ago, around 2004/2005, and that he was still dating his girlfriend (now wife) at that time. they conclude that he has been cheating on her since at least 2004, possibly even earlier than that. note that this anonymous person also fits into ryan’s “preferred” age range of 18 or just over 18, while ryan was in his mid 20s at the time.

RYAN’S MODS 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:

all of ryan’s mods (katie, bambi, freckles, and more) have their mod powers removed from his youtube and twitch channels. freckles posits an excellent question - why would he remove their mod powers instead of just simply deleting both accounts?

there arent many answers i can think of other than the obvious one - that ryan sincerely plans to return to his online career once this “blows over.” his entitlement is absolutely unthinkable.

ASTRID ROSE:

at 7:01 pm, twitter user @astridrose_20 posts this tweet containing this document, detailing her relationship with ryan. (tw for sexual abuse.)

summary: their first contact was in late 2018, when astrid was 18. she reached out to him to thank him for his positive content and mentioned her mental health struggle and abusive home life, and ryan responded in a kind way and comforted her. they had a friendly, platonic relationship for a short while, but he soon became suggestive. initially, astrid shut down his advances due to viewing him as a father figure, but was scared that he would sever contact should she not acquiesce. feeling indebted to him for his kindness, astrid rose eventually accepted his advances.

they sexted for some time until meeting in person in 2019. astrid told ryan she was a virgin and was not on birth control, but ryan assured her he would wear a condom. ryan was, as many girls before have mentioned, very rough and gave her no time to adjust, and removed the condom halfway through sex in spite of astrid telling him she did not want him to. much like the r/roosterteeth anon mentioned, ryan was very rough, and astrid could hardly walk after.

they met up 10 more times after this, and every meeting eventually went this way - astrid could not take pill-form bc due to it making her feel unwell, so every time ryan would promise to wear a condom, and every time he would remove it in the middle of sex. astrid also states that, like the r/roosterteeth anon, ryan did things “similar” to the choking he did to that anon, but astrid did not want to specify any more than this.

eventually, as a result of her trauma, astrid began binge eating and gained weight. ryan apparently lost interest in her due to this and cut all contact with her, at which point she deleted all their messages and other forms of contact.

although the story does not have any corroborating evidence, this lines up extremely well with what we have already learned about ryan, and i cant really find myself doubting any bit of it, as it all seems to fit very clearly into the picture.

KRISTEN M/TATS:

at 8:21 pm, a community member by the name of kristen (nicknamed tats by the community - i will be referring to her as “tats”) posts this tweet containing yet another story about ryan. the story is thankfully not as horrific as some of the others, but is elucidating nonetheless.

brief summary: tats first reached out to ryan in 2013, as she had just founded the blog “fuckyeahrtfanfic” (which is exactly what it sounds like) and wanted to do a q&a with some rt cast members. ryan agreed, and after the q&a she and ryan both kept up contact. tats notes that, while ryan definitely started their relationship off similarly to that of the other girls (being kind and sweet, helping them with emotional problems, sending gifts and other such things, then progressing to sexually suggestive comments and “jokes”), things did not go the same way for her.

simply put, tats did not indulge ryan at all in the sexual stuff very much, and would either brush past it or not notice it. she notes that, after a while - primarily when the other girls, like his twitch mods, came into the picture - their interactions became shorter, more business-like, and much more rare. she concludes by wondering if there was anything she could have done had she been more knowledgeable about what was going on.

while the story is not an allegation in itself, it is indeed telling about ryan’s process, as it shows clearly what happens if the girls he spoke to didnt meet his “standards.” tats does seem grateful to have been spared a much worse fate, but she notes that big parts of her life that were populated by interactions with ryan have now been sullied, and that she feels a tremendous amount of guilt for what little involvement she had in pushing girls toward ryan (as she states that some of the people who’ve come forward were people she knew and unintentionally “placed in harm’s way”). his selfish behavior has had a massive impact that extends far beyond himself and his victims, and it’s horrific to think about.

WEEK 2, DAY 5 (october 15th):

this day was pretty uneventful, overall: only one major breakthrough that i could see.

MJ PT. 2:

at 10:46 am, MJ posts this tweet containing this google doc detailing her relationship with ryan. her story is quite different, as she is currently (as of october 15th) the only girl to have been in ryan’s age range (she was 30 at the time, ryan was 38), and was also married at the time of their relationship.

brief summary: she and ryan began talking around november 2018, and although she was married, both she and her husband were interested in pursuing a polyamorous relationship/open marriage (im not clear on exactly which, as mj uses the term “polyam,” but what she describes sounds closer to an open marriage which allows for no-strings sex outside of the relationship). mj vented to ryan about her anxieties with pursuing this kind of marriage, and ryan talked her through it and vented about his own marital troubles. they began to flirt in earnest.

in december 2018, mj approached ryan about rumors she had heard of other girls, which ryan of course denied. mj found out later that month that there were indeed others. in january 2019, ryan offered to fly her out to austin for a hook-up (using the money from his twitch account, of course). with her husbands approval, mj went in february, and they spent a while together - but when she returned home, ryan immediately ghosted her, and did not talk to her for a few weeks after. mj notes how disgusted and used she felt after the fact, but something still drew her to him, and they continued to have an on-off “relationship” until as recently as this year, where she notes that their conversations slowed basically to a halt. she ends the doc with an apology to everyone who was hurt by ryan.

at this point, the stories are likely going to be much more of the same, as it’s clear that ryan had a predetermined system for how he’d approach these hook-ups, so i expect many more stories along these lines in the coming days.

WEEK 2, DAY 6 (october 16th):

@slayercas/ abandons her twitter account due to continual harassment from yet another “pleaseread” account. do note that this is NOT the same account as before, since that one was deleted and then repurposed - this new one is completely barren, with only two (inexplicable) followers and no tweets or content to speak of. i am hesitant to believe that this is truly ryan, as the message really doesnt sound like something he would send at this point in time - however, i dont believe cas has faked this either (after all, why would she abandon the account if she was faking messages from ryan “for attention”?).

my outstanding theory is that someone completely unrelated has made up the account to mess with cas, as we know for sure that at least one person disbelieved cas enough to take the name of the previous account and say so in their description. on top of that, the fact that some of the numbers included are “911″ - making me think 9/11 - and “88401″ - making me think someone tried to slip in a “1488″ reference, but didnt want it to be obvious - have me skeptical that this is a real ryan throwaway. again, this is complete conjecture; please take it with a grain of salt.

SURVIVORS OF RYAN PT. 2:

at 10:25 am, @survivorsofryan posts this tweet containing this document from an anonymous person. (i will refer to them as UK anon, since that is where they are from.)

brief summary: UK anon starts off by saying that, while they did not sleep with ryan themselves, they know someone who has and is going to allow them to speak out for themselves. moving to themselves, they first spoke to ryan in march 2017, and sent him the usual “thank you for your content” message on his snapchat. they were in a discord group for RT, and apparently a few of them decided to send ryan suggestive pictures, which started off a few sexting relationships between them and him. according to UK anon, one of the discord members flew out - on their own dime - to sleep with him, while others had been sexting with him for a long time and were even still doing so recently.

UK anon did meet ryan at rtx london in 2018, and was even brought on stage and sat next to him by lawrence sonntag (from funhaus) - she states that she’s fairly certain he recognized her, as he made it a point to be very physically close to her and to touch her quite a bit. she notes that, before this, she and many other girls had long since cut contact with him, and he’d promised he would stop the cheating and sexting with fans (which we, of course, know was a complete lie). she ends by saying that they thought they knew the truth about ryan, that he was simply a liar and cheater, but in actuality he was a sexual predator who’d been manipulating girls all along, and that this has floored her and her friends.

ON THE SPOT #80

as with off topic #177, i was going to put this in miscellaneous, but it is actually a huge moment in the context of this story. someone uncovers this moment from on the spot episode 80 (timestamp is 29:40 if the link doesnt work), in which burnie, barbara, jeremy, and ryan are playing “never have i ever,” and jon puts forth the prompt “never have i ever sent nude pics.” ryan takes a big swig, as does jeremy, and jon presses it by asking both of them if the nudes were sent to “someone other than [their wives].” ryan states that hes “not having this conversation” and that he had a life before he was married, to which barbara “jokingly” responds, “and after!”

burnie, however, looks a bit perturbed and says, “you had a life before your wife before camera phones?” to which ryan responds, “email existed back then, and camera phones.” that seems to cover it, you would think, EXCEPT that ryan is telling an out and out lie.

firstly, as we clearly know, he was sexting many more people than his wife, and quite recently. it was stupid of him to not just lie and say no, honestly, but i think weve come to realize ryan is not that bright. secondly, while ryan got married in 2007, he was dating his wife for a few years before that, as this anonymous contributor confirmed days ago - he was already dating his wife in 2004, when he had an affair with the anon.

third, he is correct that camera phones and email existed back then - however, the average phone at that time did NOT have a camera, and the ones that did capped at 1.3 megapixels, which tended to look something like this. (forgive the random picture; its all i could find to show what i meant.) note how grainy and small the image is, and also take into consideration that this would have been the camera on a top-of-the-line phone in 2004, NOT the sort of phone the average person would have owned. this is assuming 2004 is the latest year he could have sent such pictures to someone without being in a relationship with his wife; camera phones were almost unheard of pre-2003, so his story completely falls apart there.

he does have a point about the email aspect, but if we are sincerely considering that he may not be lying here, this would mean that he was finding people online to send nudes to (in a VERY pre-social media world; this wouldve been on like, bbs sites, or miscellaneous blogs/homepages, so it wouldve required some serious searching), taking nudes on a digital camera, manually uploading all the pictures to his computer, sorting out the nudes of choice, and then sending them. i dont think i need to go much further into this to show how quickly the basic concept of this falls apart.

WEEK 2, DAY 7 (october 17th):

not much to say in terms of ryan/his victims so far today, but i think this is relevant, so im going to include it - we instead get a surprise tweet from trevor collins, who was previously accused of cheating on and abusing his ex gf, which contains this statement basically refuting the claims entirely with many screenshots.

i know absolutely nothing about the original trevor accusation, as i was no longer watching rt when trevor joined the crew and had long since lost interest in rt by the time the accusations began going around, so i cannot speak to the veracity of anything said in here, or of the original accusation. i will decline to state my personal opinion on the document, and instead just link it for you all to peruse.

CAS PT. 2:

at 7:48 pm, @slayercas/ (OCT. 21 EDIT: the account name is now @otpineedyou) posts this tweet containing a document, describing their own story with ryan.

brief summary: cas informs us out the gate that she was NOT underage, but rather in her late 20s during all this. she reached out to him to thank him for his content, to which ryan responded in a flirtatious way. things quickly escalated to full on sexting from there. when ryan asked if cas wanted to meet in person, she initially declined, but continued talking to him sexually after he confessed to having an open marriage (and cas notes that he did not say this until after she stated that she was in an open relationship herself). cas shared a story regarding a sexual trauma she had with ryan, which he seemed to empathize with.

once they began talking about dom/sub stuff, ryan got more aggressive in tone, and often brought up things like extreme roughness and choking. if cas asked ryan to stop bringing up things that were traumatic, he would apologize but continue to do so anyway. cas became uncomfortable and decided to forgo all sexual conversations with ryan; if he brought up something suggestive, she would either make an excuse to go or change the subject. he tried to guilt trip her into talking to him, but she did not budge, and eventually had to delete all rt-related accounts to put distance between him and herself. she closes with a message of positivity for others in the same situation.

ANON-2:

around 10 pm, this post is made on r/roosterteeth containing this document. although it is also about ryan, a sizable portion of the doc focuses on the anon’s experience with geoff. (i will be calling them anon-2 just for the sake of intelligiblity. i cant link pictures, so please check the doc for those.)

brief summary: anon-2 was in their early-mid 20s (in mid 2016) when they discovered rt, and decided to send a snap to all of the cast members who had open snap accounts. ryan replied and, although things started out normal, they quickly became suggestive. at the same time, though, geoff also began talking to anon-2 and things also became flirty with them. they did exchange nudes and sext quite often while geoff was still married, but says they never slept with geoff themselves, although they knew others who did.

anon-2 ended up hooking up with ryan in person, and as with the other girls, he lied about not sleeping with anyone else, and insisted on not using a condom. they had sex multiple times that weekend, and anon-2 confirms that, like the other girls claimed, ryan was incredibly rough and violent with sex. anon-2 then proceeds to share many screenshots and unseen pictures of ryan, and in addition, provides messages from as recently as october 10th, where she goads him into talking about what all happened. ryan confirms he has spoken to a pr agent and a lawyer, and then makes a very weird non-joke about possibly needing an “anchor marriage” to get out of the country, implying he would ask anon-2 to do this for him. anon-2 finishes the main part of the doc by saying she knows ryan has been seeking out sex from craigslist, and that she was just a part of his grand manipulation scheme all along.

WEEK 3, DAY 1 (october 18th):

barely after midnight, we get yet another r/roosterteeth anon, posting a document detailing their relationship with ryan. much like the others, we can see that ryan followed the same pattern of flattery and kindness, getting them to talk about their mental health issues, goading them into doing things they were not comfortable with, and eventually dropping them when he realized he could not manipulate them like the others. not much else to say about it, but i wanted to catalogue it all the same.

ANON-2 PT. 2:

an update is added to anon-2′s google doc, at the end of page 13, addressing the geoff side of their post. they post candids of geoff in a hotel room, sent to them by a friend who’d slept with geoff. they add a third update later the same day, insisting that, like the girls, geoff had no clue that ryan was a sexual predator. anon-2 goes on to add that geoff never mentioned anything about his wife knowing about his sleeping around, but states that they will not be sharing more information unless given permission to do so from the girls affected. lastly, she begs people to stop hassling millie, geoff’s underage daughter.

GEOFF’S STATEMENT:

not long after anon-2′s update, geoff releases this statement on r/roosterteeth. he basically lays everything out, saying that he did indeed sext with and have sex with some fans during a period in his marriage where they were trying an open relationship, but that he felt uncomfortable with the imbalance due to the fans knowing so much about him and he so little about them. he goes onto say that he has taken a step back from rt due to extreme stress and mental health issues, and that he has not spoken about the ryan situation due to how overwhelming and upsetting it is. he closes by asking that people not drag his daughter and ex-wife into things, and leave all blame for him.

i am extremely mixed on this; on the one hand, geoff is an extremely skilled writer and speaker, and that is very clear in this document. he makes a point to share - almost to the point of oversharing - the situation between him and his then-wife to explain why he was associating with fans, and then moves past that to discuss his tumultuous personal life. however, he does not address the question of any age differences between him and these fans, and just refers to it as “two consenting adults ... getting to know each other.”

although this all seems well and good, one huge spanner was thrown into geoff’s story here; this tweet from michelle vologs, which states that ryan explicitly told her that geoff was engaging sexually with fans, and possibly knew some of ryan’s stories himself. notice that the anonymous replier, who is concurring with what michelle said, is the same anonymous twitter account who contacted ryan and adam on september 18th about their nudes leak - several WEEKS before the news dropped publicly.

although originally i was willing to believe what geoff had to say, as there was little conflicting evidence, michelle’s statement gives me extreme pause. if geoff was sleeping with enough fans that ryan knew about it, the chances of ryan not having mentioned his own experiences is very low - and on top of that, ryan has little to no reason to lie about this, as telling the truth would have actually been detrimental to his career, on the off-chance someone blabbed and it made its way back to geoff. so i am highly skeptical of the whole document.

WEEKS 3-11 (october 19th to january 2nd):

complete radio silence from ryan and adam both for a little under three months. as ryan was stated to have hired a pr agent and/or a lawyer amidst the initial scandal, its pretty easy to surmise that he was advised to just shut up and let things die down, and therefore did so. adam had gone quiet for a much longer time, so it was assumed he would not speak out again. however, people still felt that ryan was likely to try and make a comeback eventually. and, well...

WEEK 11, DAY 1 (january 3rd):

freckles, one of ryans former mods, posts this tweet containing this statement from ryan to his remaining subscribers, thanking them for sticking around and vaguely addressing “what a tough year its been” for him. unsurprisingly, this is met with IMMEDIATE retribution, as the message served as a reminder that a) many people forgot to unsubscribe and unfollow in the initial situation, and b) that ryan was still getting paid by twitch the entire time he was being ousted. this, of course, led to calls for ryan to be banned from twitch completely, given that it was his main vehicle for finding and grooming his victims.

it is unknown why he decided to do this, as it is transparently very stupid, but i think the entire series of events has made it quite clear that ryan is not only unintelligent, but EXTREMELY entitled - ryan couldnt last even a week into the new year before trying to lay the groundwork to return to his career, whereas adam managed to go quiet much earlier and remain that way for a much longer time, to let things cool off more significantly.

WEEK 11, DAY 6 (january 8th):

early in the morning, the owner of kiwifarms, null, posts a thread stating that adam kovic has reached out demanding the removal of his and jess kovic’s nude photos and videos. (reminder that i will not be linking to any threads on kf directly - you will have to seek those out for yourself.)

recall that, in the initial days of the scandal, the vast majority of the attention was on adam instead of ryan - and that was because of the sheer magnitude of his leaked photos, as well as the question of his wifes consent to their distribution (as most of the pictures/videos of her were taken from behind; with the benefit of hindsight, we can say fairly safely that she probably did not consent to the distribution, and possibly not their being taken either).

im not exactly sure on the legality of the situation, as null did not leak the photos himself but is allowing them to be hosted on his website, and adam himself would likely be found guilty of revenge porn due to him having been the one to send pictures of his wife without her permission in the first place. as for the pictures of adam himself, i would assume that null is somehow protected from prosecution or else i believe he would have already taken them down. the morality of leaving them up is EXTREMELY questionable, and i would say it probably is tipping over the line into morally wrong, but morality holds very little sway legally and so adam may not actually have any recourse here.

WEEK 13, DAY 4 (january 20th)

in the afternoon, its confirmed by twitter account @streamerbans that ryan haywood has been permabanned from twitch, and has lost his partnership with the website as well. this is obviously SUPER fucking late, as the crux of the scandal happened months ago (in october), but better late than never, i suppose.

his ban seems to be a natural consequence of two things: the obvious catalyst is his VERY bold message to his subscriber, but beyond that, twitch has also updated their rules and codes of conduct to address their handling of sexual harassment on their platform, from fans and streamers alike, and ryans actions fall very clearly over the line of acceptability. while its unknown whether ryans actions have anything to do with the drafting of some of the new rules - the rule against “attempting to coerce others into sexual favors via bribes” specifically seems VERY pointed at him - it is likely that twitch was already drafting these rules before the situation occurred, and ryans doings simply expedited their being put into effect.

in any case, the only sad part of this is how long it took; ryan was getting free money off of his fans who hadnt or couldnt unsubscribe for three months before this ban and the loss of his partnership were put into effect, which is very upsetting, but there isnt much that can be done about it now.

(JAN 30 EDIT: as you can tell, the situation has severely petered out from where it began; originally there were new updates and more information on a daily, almost hourly basis, and so it was necessary to break the story up day by day to get everything. since that is no longer the case, i will not be filling in any gaps between time periods; if something else happens two weeks from now, i will not try to fill in the two week silence, and will just skip to the next big event. apologies if this makes timelines confusing, but ive added weeks AND days to each event to make them easier to follow, so hopefully that helps.

any further updates to this post will go here, to keep the timeline together. everything below this line is optional reading, but i do highly recommend it, as it provides a lot of background context.)

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MISCELLANEOUS INFO

this is just a section for anything i think is contextually relevant that doesnt really fit anywhere else, or stuff that is not confirmed but highly suspicious. most of this will provide elucidating background for everything that went down, but none of it is necessary to read.

LOOKING BACK AT RYAN’S CONTENT:

because of how blindsiding these events have been, people began questioning if there were any tells that we as viewers missed over the years, and began going through old videos and other content to find anything of interest. ill link any relevant videos here with a brief summary of why theyre noteworthy:

- this video features ryan encouraging fans to do “whatever [they] need to get [themselves] to finish” (in reference to masturbating), and when trevor states that “there are laws that constrain us,” ryan says that “as long as you do it [in your head], it’s fine.” here he is clearly justifying his own actions to himself.

- this clip of ryan singing “black or white” by michael jackson, but he changes the lyrics to, “thing about my baby, it dont matter if youre black or white - or 12, or 9, or 8.” yeah.... i dont really need to say much else about that i dont think

- this post about ryan’s cover letter from his initial application to rt. the comment about “that sexy, deep voice that ladies love” wouldve been gross even without context, but with it, it appears that playing casanova with fans may have been his intent from the beginning.

- another video in which ryan “misses his flight because of uber.” he states that he missed his flight because the uber driver who was supposed to arrive didnt want to come and asked him to cancel the drive, forcing him to wait for another driver to be available. while they dont say explicitly, i am fairly certain hes talking about returning from pax west in seattle, which took place in early september - around the time that many of these stories (like tessa’s and michelle’s) take place. more likely than not, he fully lied about this story and was actually late because he was hooking up with a fan.

WHY 2017?:

if you’re paying attention to dates, you may notice that almost all of these events transpired - or began - in 2017. there are a few theories as to why, but ultimately i think the answer is quite simple; 2017 is when ryan made an instagram account, and is likely when he had the most direct access to fans. as was noted, he has had twitter for years and his snapchat was created probably a year or two before, and yet there are little to no stories taking place before 2017. most likely, his making an instagram account saw an influx of messages from fans, primarily teenage girls - a huge demographic on insta - and gave him a platform to begin the grooming process without anyone suspecting him.

CONJECTURE PT. 1: THE MEGGENING:

people began to speculate if ryan and meg are/were having an affair, as they spent quite a bit of time together for work, went on a trip to japan alone together, and have been the center of many a “joke” regarding their relationship, to the point of it sincerely bothering gavin (meg’s boyfriend). there are several clips of the achievement hunter guys making jokes about ryan and meg sleeping together behind gavin’s back, but heres one clip of them doing so with gavin in the room. notice his genuinely uncomfortable reaction.

initially i was ready to write this off as “women evil” conjecture, but honestly after looking into it a bit, i can sincerely see what people are talking about. as i said earlier, i find meg’s statement incredibly suspicious - the fact that she explicitly denies any knowledge of ryan’s doings even though that SHOULD go without saying, and that her message doesnt actually say anything negative about ryan or what he did at all, makes me feel extremely wary of her.

OCT. 12 EDIT: either yesterday or the day before, meg privated most of the highlights from her japan trip with ryan, but a few of them were luckily archived. here they are, if you’re curious: japan #1, japan #2, japan #3.

CONJECTURE PT. 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:

in early february, its discovered that ryan haywoods home is up for sale, and has been for quite a while. (i will not be linking the listing for obvious reasons.) the house had been on the market for 63 days at that time, placing its initial listing date in very early december - that would only be two months after the initial story broke. on top of that, with the inclusion of the amount of time it takes to find a realtor and begin the selling process, the selling of the house was likely initiated in mid-to-late november, if not sooner.

there are multiple potential explanations for the selling of the house, of course - its possible they could no longer afford the upkeep due to ryan losing his highly lucrative job, or its possible that they moved to escape harassment from others. i find both of these fairly implausible for different reasons: the former because ryans wife also has a fairly high-paying job, and unless ryan is a complete dumbass, they certainly have enough money saved up to remain in that house if they wanted to. in addition, i find the latter implausible because its highly unlikely anyone was going to their house directly, as i think ryan would definitely have played the victim publicly over something like that.

the most obvious answer to me, given how quickly the house was put up for sale, is that the two have begun divorce proceedings and thus sold the house. finances as a motivator make no sense to me due to the speed with which the house was put up - its highly unlikely they blew through all of their savings in a month - and if they were staying together as a couple, it wouldnt make sense to vacate their home for no reason. of course, this is complete conjecture (thus the header LMAO), but it is interesting to note as it comes into direct contradiction with ryans claims of going to couples therapy with his wife.

RYAN’S TACTICS:

due to the number of accusations against ryan now, a pretty clear picture is painted of him and how he operates. a few things become clear when you put all of this information together. lets break it down bit by bit.

first: the girls. as i mentioned before, michelle notes in her video that ryan seemed to target young girls who were either insecure about themselves/their bodies, or had mental health issues. that pattern does seem to hold up, as all seven of the major accusers (tessa, michelle, leigh, kayla, katie, anon, and megashiny) openly discuss dealing with one or both of these issues in their respective stories. it’s almost undeniable that ryan pursued these types of girls on purpose in order to manipulate them more easily, as well as to have plausible deniability when confronted about them - a phrase which multiple girls have used in reference to him.

second: the method. ryan seems to have consistently used the exact same method of manipulating each of the girls. it goes pretty much like this:

- in early conversations, he is sweet and invested in the girl. once they are a bit more comfortable, he begins to “flirt,” making sexual comments and “jokes” to slowly but surely convince them to sext and exchange nudes with him.

- at the same time, he is sure to tell everyone he knows (mods and the like) about how “crazy” his girl of the week is, guaranteeing that she will not be believed should she try to tell someone what is going on between them

- once the conversations turn sexual, his demeanor changes completely, and he starts to become distant. conversations with him become infrequent to make the girl feel miserable when he is away and over the moon when he decides to talk to her, thus maintaining the constant star-struck feeling and ensuring that she is always just a bit more eager to do what he asks in order to keep him around

- he makes sure to litter conversations with comments about how much he loves his wife and kids, thus ensuring that the girl feels too guilty to let anyone know whats going on at the risk of damaging his relationship with his family

- once he has the girls backed into this corner, he begins reaching out only to talk about sex and to schedule in-person hook ups, and will not talk to the girls otherwise. this goes on over and over until he gets bored or the girl cuts contact with him.

he is consistent with this “defaming, denial, degrading” method, as we can see every single girl make reference to him treating them in the same way. from this, we can conclude one thing - he has a system. he has done this before, and he knows it works. even the girl with the most different experience, katie, was clearly being groomed and sexually coerced with the promise of payment, but when she did not budge ryan switched over to straight up financial manipulation, forcing her to take the money - and therefore making her financially beholden to him - and threatening her with cut contact should she not accept.

ryan also tried to isolate katie from her best friend, kayla, in an effort to prevent her from noticing that he was manipulating and grooming kayla for sex as well, and given that kayla was bullied so thoroughly in HIS community that he was one of the only people she felt safe around, it’s no wonder why he refused to deal with the situation when trick brought it up to him. these are straight up abuser tactics, and while i hesitate to throw that word around, it is clear that ryan is a dangerous, emotionally manipulative sexual predator, who specifically targeted young girls with little to no experience with sex and relationships. he is disgusting, and cruel, and i pray that he experiences the pain he inflicted on these girls ten times over.

#roosterteeth #rooster teeth #ryan haywood #adam kovic #long post #REALLY fucking long. im not even kidding #let me know if the under the cut thing is broken again and ill just make a google doc #cause wow #anyway ryan haywood is a piece of shit and belongs in jail and thats that on that #dark lord saltine

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keigosbirdie · 3 years

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Hi!! :) i don’t want to pressure you or anything but are there any updates on balmy pt. 4? or is there going to be a father’s day special?

Awwww no pressure at all 🥺 honestly its very motivating and sweet to know people are excited for updates on my fics !

For Balmy pt.4, I have the chapter structure plotted and several scenes started. I kinda write whatever scenes I'm feeling at the time, and then go back and edit them together when they're all fleshed out. Its still very much in the beginning stages, because I've been working lots and lots of overtime, and I'm working on a oneshot on the side.

I don't really do specials and things for my fics. I dont like to add things that deviate from or don't add to plot progression, and current canon is in January, so no father's day anything unfortunately ;u; however! As soon as you see the kinky oneshot come up youll know im back to chipping away at Balmy!

Thanks so much for your ask :)

#balmy

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katachell · 4 years

Text

portal 2 project???

portal 2 has an AMAZING narrative. AMAZING. but if you want to rewatch the story... you cant. your two options are to watch let’s plays and randomly skip around to hopefully hear all the dialogue, or to read the quotes on the wiki... which are seperated by character, not scene, and dont give environmental details. this makes it impossible for people who dont want to put in a massive amount of time in to experience the story of the game in one definitive place. so, i propose:

THE PORTAL 2 PROJECT

the end product of this project would be a video, posted to YouTube, that has all of the relevant scenes and dialogue in order. it would play out like a movie, so people who haven't or don't want to play the game can still enjoy and understand the story in its entirety. it would use screen recordings of the game, so you can see whats happening and hear it.

what would be included in the video:

-any moment where there is dialogue (exceptions listed below)

-plot relevant details: for some examples, getting the portal gun, finding a rattman den, introducing a new puzzle element, when cave says that portals can be placed on the moon. (this is to better help people who aren't familiar with the franchise understand what the things they're seeing on the screen are.) (most of these would be short clips: for example, when hard light bridges are introduced, the clip would show chell walking up to it and standing on it, and then the video would move on.)

-major scenes, obviously. an example is when chell falls into the pit or unlocks old aperture.

-small, funny details. (without lingering for too long.) it wouldn’t be portal 2 if you dont show the little details! examples include the borealis dock, the elevator room screens, or when wheatly is monologuing and you can go back and he’ll keep monologuing (”you’re at my mercy! wait- come back! (chell goes back) FOOL! you’re at my mercy, and i dont have any!”

-exploring the enviroment: for example, the screen recorder would stop to look at the awards in old aperture, zoom in on chell’s name for the potato experiment, listen to the optional/hidden cave experiment dialogue, as well as look at old posters and signs that tell you about the dangers of old ap. just so the audience is grounded.

-ive touched on this in other bullet points, but not everyone has the time or willpower to look for the little hidden things in the game. this would make sure that you get a very full, portal 2 experience.

what would NOT be included:

-puzzle solving. some chambers take a few minutes to solve, and there is no dialogue. this interrupts the story. unless the puzzle solving is relevant to the plot, like quickly introducing new mechanics to the audience, it wont be included.

-unimportant dialogue. for example, in the neurotoxin generator area, whealtly will ramble for - i think i lasted 4 or 5 minutes before i left - a while, just trying to convince the neurotoxin generator to shut itself off or something. while entertaining, it takes away from the focus of the project.

an example of the formatting:

i imagine the format to look something like this: (im using chapter 1 as an example)

-full, uncut opening with the wheately escape. the cameraman waits at the door before opening it so you get his full dialogue. ~5 minutes

-chell goes into her old relaxation vault, listens to the announcer, puts a button on the pressure pad, then enters the elevator. this introduces the button/cube mechanic. (this scene comes directly after the last, with no cuts). since there is announcer dialogue and new mechanics, this stays relatively uncut. ~1 minute

-chell exits elevator, hears funny announcer dialogue. the camera looks at the room for 5 seconds so the audience understands the setting for the scene, as well as the act. ~15-20 seconds

-chell presses a button to open a portal. this is the first time a portal is seen. she walks through the portal. this introduces the core mechanic of the game. (~30 seconds) (once the mechanic has been used once or twice, the rest of the puzzle is cut)

that would be the basic format. for things like multiple uneventful test chambers in a row, it would show slow fading shots of the test chamber number so you understand that time is passing. this would be intercut with shots of the setting.

HOW CAN I GET HELP / THIS PROJECT STARTED??

getting all of this footage is too much for one person. editing it... is too much for one person. ALL OF THE FOOTAGE HAS TO COME FROM PEOPLE WORKING ON THIS PROJECT. IT CANT COME FROM OTHER PEOPLES YOUTUBE VIDEOS. For this project, I’ll need people to record the footage, people to help edit the footage, and 1-3 people who know the story well and are willing to go over the game’s plot and determine what scenes and details we need, so the records know what to record and what to focus on.

Do you want to help capture footage? if so, youll need:

-access to the PC version of the game with LOW LAG gameplay

-a screen recorder program. it CANNOT have a watermark on the finished product. needs to be high resolution footage.

-(the recordings will NOT feature your voice or a face cam.)

-(you do not need mods and please leave the portal gun with its base texture)

-(id be comfortable with each screen recorder person to cover around 1-2 chapters... so maybe 4-5 people, unless i can find more. youd be following some directions on what to record. you do not need to edit, just get the footage.)

Can’t do that? Can you EDIT video footage? you’ll need:

-a video editor. high quality. i dont know the editing industry, i dont know what software exists.

-MUST be able to export it without a watermark and in high quality.

-(each editor will be responsible for a chapter or chapters. then render your final product. one editor will put all of the finished chapters together. this means you can use different software from the other editors, and will have a good amount of control over your assigned part. i dont have a number for how many editors there will be. id like more than one.)

Can’t do that? What about choosing the important scenes and details and acting as a sort of ‘writer’ for the plot? You’ll need:

-a good knowlege of the game and its history and fun facts. if youre obsessed with this game and franchise... yeah same. but as long as youre interested and know it well, thats fine

-be able to browse the wiki

-time to review the game by watching lets plays or playing it yourself

-be able to choose the right details and communicate that to the screen recorders and editors. remember my example about chapter one earlier? youd have to lay it out in a similarly comprehensive way.

-take constructive criticism

-must be older than 14 for this. youve gotta make a lot of decisions in this role. ive seen some really creative and talented high schoolers, so thats where im drawing the age line.

-(im hoping for 1-4 of these people, including myself.)

IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN HELPING, SEND ME A DM. IF YOU’RE CHOSEN TO WORK ON THE PROJECT, I’LL SET UP A DISCORD FOR THOSE INVOLVED. IF THIS GETS SOME SORT OF MASS SUPPORT, I’LL SET UP A DISCORD FOR ANYONE INTERESTED IN UPDATES.

The purpose of this project is to make it so you can relive the portal 2 plot without having to replay the full game. Other methods do not exist. No one video shows the plot in order with ‘filler’ removed. Voice lines exist in text form, but do not capture the visual aspect of the game, or give context, and are not a full experience. This story is a masterpiece and deserves to be edited so it is comprehensive and all in one place. No one will claim credit for owning portal 2 or writing the story - the video is showing gameplay, and just so happens to be the relevant gameplay. However, screen capture, editing, and direction credits will be given to everyone who participates. This project will allow you to introduce friends and family to the game without sending them a video where only 5 minutes out of the 1 hour video is relevant. I have wanted this project for a while, but I’ve realized that I can’t do it alone. Even if you can’t help directly, please spread the word and reblog.

#portal #Portal 2 #wheatley #Chell #glados #cave johnson

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 44

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: okayyy so here it is. time passes quicker, and youll see itll be like that in the last few chapters too. i hope you like this one, i hope youll like the last few chapters. im a bit nervous so i hope it’s not too bad! oh yea and i used a manip someone made on instagram, just thought it was cool haha!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i used here but ill only post them in the next chapter because i don’t want to spoil anything!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 44 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

August 9th, 2018

That was it. We were done with an other season and I couldn't believe what we accomplished. What I accomplished. We had filmed the last scene two days ago, right on time for me to go see Niall perform in LA two nights in a row and the party organised to celebrate the end of this season was scheduled on the first night of his week off. Everything seemed to fit perfectly together and I was happy. I was genuinely and truly happy.

"Did I tell you how much I missed you?" I heard my boyfriend whisper near my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, making a shiver cross my whole body.

"Mm yes, about a million times in the past 3 days." I replied with a chuckle, tilting my head as he pressed his lips gently on my neck.

I had missed him so much too. We had spent over a month apart and just like I expected, we were even stronger than we were before and that said a lot. We had talked every single day on facetime but it was never the same than to be able to smell him, feel him, taste him... just seeing him face to face was different than on a screen and I had no idea how i'd be able to spend an other 5 weeks separated from him.

"Okay then, did I tell you how good you look tonight?"

I laughed again and turned around in his arms, tilting my chin up to look in his eyes. We were a bit farther from the others, slightly hiding by a part of the wall, and i licked my lips, hoping no one was paying attention to us.

"I'm literally wearing an old pair of jeans that shows how big my ass is and a plain t-shirt." I pointed out. "But thank you."

As if it was a suitable answer, his hands slid from my back to my butt and he squeezed it, making me laugh again.

"I love your ass."

"And in public too?" I asked with an amused smile, my eyebrows raised. "Are you drunk?"

He chuckled and bent down to kiss my lips and i let him, feeling his warm mouth move gently and slowly against mine. No matter how many times we kissed, it always felt amazing, and no one else tasted that good.

"We should go back to the others." I pointed out in a low voice. "They're gonna start wondering where we are."

"Mm, I don't care." he whispered against my lips, making me chuckle low.

"Come on." I just replied, finally taking a step back and tilting my head on the side. "We can cuddle tonight."

We walked back in the room hand in hand and I noticed Dylan looking at us. He sent me a small smile that I answered as I tried to ignore Heidi, sitting next to him. They had been dating for longer than I thought they would and I was wondering if he still thought everything he had told me about her the last time we discussed it. I really thought it was a good thing for him to be with someone else, I just thought it sucked that she was the one he had picked. Still, it was none of my business and I couldn't stop him from inviting her to this party. After all, it was his tv show too, and I owed him a lot. I was well aware that it was more popular because he was the male lead and I knew how lucky I was to act with him.

As soon as we sat down, Heidi and Dylan got up but she left to the other side of the room and he walked to us, sitting in front of my boyfriend. I didn't know if this was about to be awkward but before we could say anything, I heard my phone and frowned. I grabbed it quickly and excused myself, knowing it was even more awkward that I left my boyfriend and my ex boyfriend together.

"Hey Louis, you're calling at a very weird moment." I just said with a smile.

"That's me specialty, love." he let out as a joke, making me chuckle. "You mom tried to call you apparently, but she couldn't reach you so she called my phone. Sweet sweet lady with an incredibly strong accent. It always surprises me."

I rolled my eyes but a smile still drew itself on my lips. "What did she want?"

"She said it was not urgent but she wanted to talk to you, make sure you're not dead or something."

I raised my nose up. "Don't joke with that."

"Sorry love, I didn't mean to bring back... that memory." he apologized after a few seconds of silence. "She doesn't know though, does she?"

"No, only you, me, Niall, and I'm guessing El?"

"Olivia, I didn't tell that to anyone, not even El." Louis admitted, making me smile fondly. "This is no one's business but yours. I promise to keep that secret forever."

"Thank you, Lou." I whispered before swallowing.

I hated to remember that moment of weakness I had, even if I knew it was part of why I was who and where I was today. I really had to hit rock bottom to kick myself up and finally breathe again. If my relationship with Niall was so strong now, it was partly because I had worked on myself and although I knew I still had work to do, I was stronger than I used to be when I first dated Niall. Of course, swallowing all the pills I could find was not my smartest or strongest moment but I was trying to forgive myself.

"Oh you want to hug me right now don't you?" Louis joked, making me laugh through my tears. "I know you!"

I laughed and wipe my eyes quickly before licking my lips. "Yea, I drank a bit too so it doesn't help. I'll text you soon, Lou."

"You better. Love you, queen."

I smiled fondly at the nickname and closed my eyes. "Love you too."

I hung up and texted my mom quickly before going back to the table. Dylan was now sitting next to Niall and it made me frown. I knew they were both a bit tipsy and I didn't want anything bad to happen between them. Gladly, I knew Niall was not into confrontation and Dylan was quite laid-back too. Plus, he was probably over me by then and if they could just accept each other's company, it would be enough for me. I didn't expect them to become close friends, of course, but It would be nice if it wasn't awkward between them anymore.

"Oh and that small.. whimper or whisper she makes when you slip your hand in her panties." I heard Niall comment before Dylan chuckled.

"Right." he agreed, shaking his head gently. "And she's always so ready too."

A tiny part of me wanted to stay and listen to what they were going to say but the part of me that was angry was definitely bigger. I took a step closer but held my breath when Dylan started talking again.

"Let's say it's different than Heidi."

"No man, I ain't going there." Niall laughed while shaking his head before taking a sip of his beer.

"No, I mean, Heidi is very sexy but it's that... that connection, you know?" I frowned and my lips parted when Niall laughed again.

"I don't want to hear about the 'connection' you had with my girlfriend, O'Brien." he pointed out, turning his almost empty beer with his fingers.

"No yea, I know. I just mean that... it's different when you love someone."

"Are you two really comparing how Heidi and I are in bed?"

Both of them jumped so high I thought they were about to fall off their chairs. I wanted to look at their reaction but I decided to focus on my boyfriend and when he turned around, his face changed and I could read fear in his eyes. I crossed my arms on my chest and shook my head, licking my lips.

"That's fucking disgusting. I don't deserve that, and Heidi doesn't either."

This time, I read surprise in Niall's eyes and glanced at Dylan who seemed as shocked as my boyfriend. Oh I still didn't like Heidi, but that didn't mean it was okay for them to discuss about how she was in bed.

"Just because both of you had the chance to fuck us both doesn't give you the right to share gossips about us." I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my anger inside and breathed in deeply. "That's fucking wrong."

I turned on my heels and left before I stopped and turned around again to look at them. "I'm mad at you both, by the way, if that wasn't clear enough."

I walked quickly to my dressing room and closed the door before holding myself against the counter, closing my eyes. I was torn between being mad that they could easily talk about me like that and being relieved that they could actually talk to each other without it being awkward. After a few minutes, I heard a knock at the door and thinking it was probably one of them, I swung the door open but my face changed when I noticed my assistant. My lips curled and I raised my eyebrows a bit surprised.

"You left quickly, are you okay?" she asked, concern written all over her face.

I made a quick head movement to incite her to walk in and closed the door behind her before we both sat down, her on the couch and me on a chair. Tinka was fairly new since my old assistant had to leave due to a pregnancy and we immediately bounded. She was gorgeous and I had to admit I was a bit jealous of her, not only for her looks but also for the way she attracted people easily and all that charisma she had probably inherited at birth, but at the same time, I felt connected to her too and I could never hate her.

"Okay so, I wanted to show you something. I mean at first I was not sure if I should, because I shouldn't have filmed it in first place, but..." she blabbed nervously before shaking her head. "I'll just show you."

She took her phone and clicked on a few things before handing it to me. I frowned, taking it cautiously before noticing she was showing me a video. I clicked on play and my eyes got bigger when I noticed Niall, sitting at the cafeteria as Heidi sat down in front of him. The first part of the conversation was hard to hear but Niall seemed confused and when she handed him a sheet of paper, I frowned again. He stared at what was written on it and finally, she put her hand on top of his and I felt my heart jump high in my throat. The second part of the conversation though, I heard it very clearly.

“You’re right. We should get back together, Niall.” Heidi said with a soft voice. “I mean, I know you’re trying to make me jealous with her but let’s be real. Who could really be jealous of her?"

This time, my heart sank in my chest and I swallowed hard. I was worth more than Heidi gave me credits for, I knew it now, but I also knew she would never see it. Perhaps, she was too busy trying to win Niall back.

“Do you even listen to yourself? You know damn well I’m with Liv and.. aren’t you with Dylan? I love her, okay! I’m not trying to make anyone jealous, I’m just trying to love her the way she deserves to be loved… the way I failed to love her the first time. And you have nothing to do with any of this. What even makes you think I want to be with you?"

I bit my bottom lip, breathing in deeply again and trying to suppress a small smile of relief when I heard my boyfriend's words. The fact that he admitted that he failed to love me right the first time made something stir in my stomach. I knew that failed relationship was not just on him, but it was nice to hear him admit that, especially to someone else.

“Because of that song! You wrote it for me and put it in one of my boxes for me to find!” she argued with him.

I saw Niall roll his eyes and his next words were as harsh as the tone he had used.

“I wrote this about Olivia! I wrote that in the first week I saw her again at the bakery after not seeing her for over a year. It isn’t about you, Heidi. It got in one of your boxes by mistake!” he let out rudely. “I love Olivia, not you. You need to let it go, okay? And those instagram posts you make.. For fuck’s sake, Heidi! What’s the point? Make me feel bad? Alright, I’m sorry I cheated on you, I should have broken up with you before and that was a mistake, okay? Now please, leave me the fuck alone.”

The video stopped but I still stared at the screen, lost in my thoughts, until Tinka talked again.

"I don't know why i recorded this, and I know I shouldn't have, I'm sorry." she apologized again. "But it was recorded anyway so I mean, why not show it to you?"

I just stared at the thumbnail of the video again before clicking on the 'delete' button and when it asked me if I was sure, I clicked on 'yes' without hesitation.

"Thanks, Tinka. I deleted it." I finally said, looking up at her before she nodded. "But thank you for showing me. Just... don't do that again, please. Niall and I we're both very... private."

I handed her her phone back just as an other knock was heard at the door. We both got up and I opened the door as she walked past Niall. He nodded at her and finally turned back to me, his hands in his pockets. I couldn't help but tilt my head, glancing down at him, telling myself once again how good he looked. I also couldn't stop thinking about the way he had told Heidi he loved me and it made me want to hug him.

"Olivia, I'm.. so sorry."

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows, expecting more than just a simple apology.

"You're right. It was so wrong, and we shouldn't have." he added, making me lick my lips. "We were literally trying to find something to talk about, and it was so awkward... the only thing we really have in common is you. But we shouldn't have."

I let my shoulders fall and sighed, raising my nose up in a grimace. "So I really make some sort of whimper when you slip your hand in my panties?"

He chuckled and took one of his hands out of his pocket to pass it in his hair. "Yea, you do. But I'm slightly jealous knowing you also whimper like that when he did it. I thought I was special."

"Oh, poor little boy thought he was special." I joked, making him grimace too. "Come here."

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him inside before closing the door behind him. He was close to me, so close I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine, and when my ass met the counter, I smiled more. He chuckled as he stared down in my eyes and shook his head slightly.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Mm, maybe."

I felt his hand slip in my jeans and panties and my eyes fluttered slightly as my lips parted as I let lout a whimper despite myself.

"And now?" he asked, clearly amused by the effect he had on me.

"I'll tell you in a few minutes." I whispered, tilting my chin up to look at him better.

I felt two of his fingers brush gently on my clit before he slipped them inside me. I moved one of my legs up on the counter and he moved closer to me, bending down slightly until his lips were only a few inches away from mine.

"You're all mine, yea?" he whispered, making me bite my bottom lip. "Say it."

"Mm, I'm all yours Niall." I breathed out, blinking a few times. "I belong to you."

"Fuck yes you do."

He started fingering me quickly, making sure his palm was rubbing against my clit and when I felt an orgasm spread all over my body, I let my head fall back and shook slightly as he pressed his mouth against mine. I could feel his lips curl as I came and I finally got down from my high, whimpering low and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Okay, I forgive you." I whispered, kissing him deeply for a few seconds before moving my head slightly back. "Do you think that's how Dylan will want to be forgiven too?"

I laughed lightly at the face he made and I heard him groan low. "I'll kill him."

I shook my head a bit and my amused smile turned into a fond one. "You know, I never ever moaned his name." I admitted, licking my lips. "I only do that with you."

He looked happy with my confession but he still raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because... I was always scared I'd moan your name instead."

His face changed and somehow, I could read love in his eyes and it made me swallow hard. He remained silent and my lips parted again.

"I've never stopped loving you, Niall." I murmured. "I told you."

"Guess what, Olivia?" he let out in a soft tone, his eyes roaming quickly on my face. "I never stopped loving you either."

----

August 15th, 2018

Dylan had stopped me before I left and had apologized to me profusely. He even texted me the next day to apologize again and I forgave him immediately. Maybe it was because I felt a bit guilty for not telling him about the video Tinka had showed me where his girlfriend was blatantly trying to get back with my boyfriend, but It was easy to forgive him and I knew he felt horrible about it. I was still unsure if I should tell him and at the same time, I didn't want to be the reason of their break-up, or even of a fight so I deciced to ignore it for now but that didn't stop me from feeling bad.

It was almost time for Niall to go back on tour and I felt extremely nervous about it. It had taken me about a week to decide on what I would do. I wanted to go with him but at the same time, I didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend who followed him everywhere. With time, I realized that I could follow him without going back to my old habits but I still had no idea how to tell him. He hadn't mentioned it again, probably because he didn't want to sound pushy or make me feel like I had to follow him, but my insecurity sometimes tried to make me believe it was because he didn't really want to spend so long with me.

"Why did you want me to come with you, Louis?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and turning to him as he was parking. "You know it's one of my last few days with Niall."

Louis laughed and shook his head, turning to me to look in my eyes.

"We both know you're gonna follow him on tour, Liv. Who are you trying to fool?" he said, his accent thick. "You can spend a few hours with your best friend, can't ya?"

I felt my heart skip a beat at how well Louis knew me, sometimes even better than I knew myself, and I realized that I had opened up to him like I had never opened up with anyone else besides Niall. And I didn't regret it at all.

"Yes. You're right."

"Look," he started again, turning on his seat to look at me. "I have something for you."

He searched through his pockets and handed me a well-folded piece of paper, which was surprising. Normally, anything that ended up in Louis' pocket was crumpled or crushed. I frowned a bit and took it before unfolding it gently and carefully.

"I drew it meself. Took me hours."

My lips parted as I looked at the drawing of a crown. It was pretty and he clearly had put a lot of effort into it. It was not perfect, but I thought that's what made it look even more special.

"Wow, Louis... this is..."

"I made it for you." he cut me gently. "If you wanted to get a tattoo, that is. It represents you well, don't ya think?"

I looked up in his eyes and weirdly, I could read stress, like he was not sure how i'd react. The fact that Louis always called me his queen, and that he had even written a song about me with that word made this drawing even more important for me and as soon as his eyes met mine, I knew it would be impossible for me not to get this tattoo.

"I think it represents you, actually." I explained, tilting my head and looking at him. "This tattoo will always remind me of you, and I want you to know that you're important to me, Louis. I would be dead without you. Literally."

His lips curled slightly on the right and stress disappeared from his traits.

"Now you need to draw something for me to get, too." he pointed out.

"Wait, so we're here to get you a tattoo that I would draw?" I asked as his smile turned into a smirk.

"Exactly."

"Can it be simple? I can't draw for shit." I admitted with a grimace.

"Just draw it, give it to the artist, and I'll look at it when it's done."

I stared at him for a few seconds, feeling my heartbeats accelerate and after a while, I breathed in and out. After all, if he didn't like it, he could always get something over it, right?

It took half an hour to get the crown tattooed on my ankle but only about 10 minutes to get the smiley I had drawn for Louis. It was pretty simple with x's instead of eyes and since it was on his wrist, he kept his eyes closed the whole time to make sure it wouldn't ruin the surprise. We walked back to his car in silence about an hour later and sat down, both of us leaning against our seats.

"Is it too simple?" I asked before he turning his head my way with a smile.

"No, it's perfect."

I smiled back at him and held my hand up between us. It took him a few seconds but he finally grabbed it, intertwining his fingers with mine and squeezing my hand.

"Thank you for saving my life." I let out in a soft voice. "Literally, but also metaphorically."

"You saved mine, too."

---

When I walked back in Niall's house... I mean, in our house... I heard him talk and frowned, trying to be quiet in case he was on the phone. I saw him in front of his laptop, just talking to the screen and it took me a few minutes to realize he was probably on a live chat on instagram. I made sure to remain silent and walked to the kitchen to gt myself a glass of wine and leaned against the counter. I listened to what he was saying from the living room, smiling and chuckling from time to time until I heard him say his goodbyes. I wanted an other minute or two, knowing Niall was the kind of person who said bye by stayed an other half an hour with his hand on the doorknob before actually leaving and when I joined him in the living room, he was getting up.

"Are you done?"

"Yes, sorry, I thought it would take you longer." he apologized, making me smile.

"No, it's all good, it's cool that you do lives for your fans." I just shrugged, joining him near the couch. "Your such a good person."

He smiled more and took the glass from my hands before placing it on the coffee table. I chuckled and he wrapped his arms around my waist, raising his eyebrows.

"And does that turn you on?"

I laughed some more. "Maybe."

He didn't answer anything. Instead, he pressed his lips against mine as his arms pulled me even closer. My eyes fluttered close as he deepened the kiss and I sighed low, feeling my body relax in his arms.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." he whispered before kissing me some more,

"I'll miss you more."

He stepped forward, forcing me to take a step back, and guided us around the couch and until the hall. I ended up hitting my back on the wall and I laughed against his lips.

"Clumsy ass." he said in the same amused tone he always said it. "I love you."

We finally ended up in our room and he closed the door with one of his feet, bringing me to the bed and quickly putting himself on top of me. I loved the feeling of his body over mine, warming me, and it always surprised me that every time, it would make a shiver cross my back. I shivered in his arms and he pulled away slightly to look in my eyes.

"How about we stay locked here until I have to take that fucking stupid plane?"

I raised my eyebrows and my lips parted before I tilted my chin up. "Don't you have somewhere to be tomorrow?"

"I canceled." he admitted, his eyes dropping to my lips before he ground his hips against mine, probably without thinking.

"For me?" I asked with a small smile.

"For us."

I brought my hands to his cheeks and let one of my thumbs brush on his bottom lip. "How many times are you gonna make love to me until you leave?"

His lips curled again and he chuckled low. "As many times as I can."

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