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shirosucc · 7 years

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5 times yura wore otabeks clothes on Accident and one time it wasnt an accident

1. ACTUAL ACCIDENT

It’s, overall, a pretty shitty day for Yura so far.

It’s not even that he forgot to charge his phone the night before, and is now watching it shut down again after obnoxiously letting him know of its lack of battery and competence. It’s not, even, the fact that his phone being dead all night meant it conveniently didn’t wake him up in time for his 10am class. It’s not, even, the fact that said class is in 13 minutes and he’s 15 minutes from campus.

No, the real cherry on the toothpaste sundae is the fact that when he and Otabek stumbled to their room last night, drunk off their asses and all over each other, they didn’t bother to sort out the laundry.

So, here he is, phone charger precariously stretched across the table from the wall plug (in the most ridiculous and unaccessible place possible) to where he’s checking the time every 2 minutes while pulling on his last pair of clean jeans and simultaneously trying to arrange his hair into something less ‘bird nest’ and more ‘artfully messy’. It all goes great, except he can’t put his phone down on the floor and needs one hand to pull on his pants and There Are No More Hands Left For The Hair, but he makes do. See, Yura makes do like the model student he is, until he looks down and realizes he’s still in his pyjama shirt.

Usually in such circumstances he would not give two fucks, and just wear a hoodie over it, but the night before wasn’t exactly the most tame of nights (because it was JJ’s party and JJ is many things but tame is not one of them) and he will never admit it, but the prospect of seeing Otabek in his wrinkled black cat print tee is a little. Ungood. So he digs though the pile of clean clothes, picking out the first thing that looks black and edgy and like it could plausibly be his, swiping at his lockscreen and trying to toe his sneakers over from the door into shoving-feet-inside range.

He puts on the black edgy thing without looking at it, shoves his phone into his back pocket, pulls on the second shoe, pats down his hair, and hangs his jacket on his head by the hood all in the span of 30 seconds in a remarkable display of multitasking (model student Yura is canon) and then it hits him. That, maybe maybe, he should perhaps take his charger given how his phone is only at 7% battery and his classes end at approximately 6pm.

All these things add up to the following: model student Yura Plisetsky shows up 7 minutes late for class, scowling hard enough to drive the average ambient bitchcraft level of his surroundings by 3 notches, jacket sleeves thankfully where they belong (on his arms), hair a glorious mess, phone about to die, will to exist at a dangerously low level and murderous intent inversely proportional to said will to exist.

(He doesn’t realize that the murmurs aren’t related to his fabulously late entrance only when he finally gets out of class and makes his way to his usual seat at the lunch table and JJ’s eyebrows attempt to join his - admittedly glorious - hairline, and JJ smirks at him and Yura looks down like oh and JJ is like “Wow, didn’t know you were into Deadmau5, Yura,” and Yura is like ‘,,,,,,,,,,im 2 tired 4 this’ and Otabek looks up from his lecture notes to see Yura trying to zip up his jacket over Otabek’s Deadmau5 Shirt and he looks so exhausted and adorable and pouty that Otabek’s heart misses a cue by a split second and. Otabek is a Chill Dude, so none of it shows on his face, and he just looks at Yura consideringly and turns his attention back to his notes, but the moment they’re alone he literally does not let Yura live. At all.

“If you really like my shirt that much, you can keep it, I have a few more.” “Shut up, Beka, god,,”)

2. NOT REALLY AN ACCIDENT

The Second time Yura accidentally wears Otabek’s clothes isn’t really an accident as much as it is JJ’s invasive meddling in everything ranging from his love life to his clothing choices ??

It goes thus: Yura foolishly, like a foolish fool, trusts JJ when he offers to grab a change of clothes for Yura from their dorm room so that Yura can focus on getting food before he has to rush off to the dance studio instead of making the long-ass trip there and back and going to dance hungry. JJ leaves with Yura’s keycard and a wink in Yura’s direction and takes all of Yura’s trust along with him. Yura himself orders a 3 tier sandwich with a side of fries and sadly eats it alone at a table because everyone else has Places To Be and Things To Do.

When Yura reaches the dance studio, properly fed on 3 tier sandwich and everything, JJ isn’t there yet, which means his deception isn’t uncovered until three hours later when Yura is finally done with his practice.

He finds the package, in the form of a plastic bag with a post-it note (a scribbled “You’re welcome!! XOXO” because JJ is one of those people that uses ‘You’re’ instead of ‘U’re’ and a crudely drawn blob-cat that he thinks might be an attempt at a portrait) stuck neatly on top in a prominent place. The package is good and fine and JJ remembered to include a pair of socks, even, along with the keycard so that Yura can get back. Yura, foolish fool that he is, takes the package and goes to change without any suspicion whatsoever.

JJ, the scheming fuck, has packed the exact same Deadmau5 shirt Yura showed up in last time. (No, this time it was unambiguously in Otabek’s domain, there is no excuse whatsoever).

Otabek learns, when Yura finally returns to their dorm, that Yura looking ridiculously good in his clothes was not a one-time fluke. Yura learns that you can’t trust anyone. Otabek also learns through raising an eyebrow at Yura and remarking on how much he must really like that shirt that Yura’s arms are indeed capable of providing enough force to accelerate his hoodie in the direction of Otabek’s face across the room. Otabek catches it, of course, and gently sets it down on Yura’s bed immediately, but it’s still valuable knowledge to possess.

(JJ just thinks it’s funny and opens his eyes very wide and claims, all innocence, that he knew literally nothing and was just being a good and helpful friend and really, Yura, your face might get stuck that way,)

3. ACCIDENT ? MANY ACCIDENTS ?? A SERIES OF (UN?)FORTUNATE EVENTS?

The 3rd time is honestly not really noticed much by anyone?? Because by then, Otabek and Yura are at the closeness level where Yura one day comes across a sleeveless cat shirt w a hood on tumblr and immediately nudges Otabek and tilts the screen towards him and Otabek is like. Yes How Much. And Yura is like idk $27 + shipping we can totally do this Otabek and Otabek is like hang on im getting my paypal details. A week later they’re the proud owners of virtually identical Those Things, the only difference being that Otabek’s is one size larger. That’s literally it.

So, as a result, almost no one can tell if they accidentally mix them up. JJ can squint at them in mild suspicion, but JJ ain’t know shit, okay, listen, there’s literally no way Yura and Otabek can’t tell their own clothes apart, except they really can’t and half the time they don’t even sort them right out of the laundry and they’ve worn the other’s shirt so many times that it no longer looks out of place. Really, it’s not even a “third time” at this point, it’s times 3 through 71 at least and no one actually notices because by then it’s Almost Exam Time and people have more important things to focus on than whether Otabek’s shirt is a little tighter than usual. (With the exception of Yura, but he’s a model student anyway so it doesn’t really count.)

It’s just that sometimes Otabek looks extra built and muscled and sometimes Yura looks extra cute, is all,,

4. NOT REALLY AN ACCIDENT AS MUCH AS KARMA SAYING “NOW KISS”

The number 4 is a weird-ass cryptid number so the ‘4th’ time Yura wears Otabek’s clothes it’s an unexplainable mythical event that no one understands. It doesn’t seem to be anyone’s fault, and there seems to be no intent behind it, so it probably qualifies as “Yura wears Otabek’s clothes on Accident”?? It goes thus:

5:49pm, Otabek and Yura arrive together to meet with Friends. Yura is most definitely wearing a white tank top paired with a leather jacket and leather pants, like a True Edgelord. Otabek is definitely wearing a Muse shirt ???? that, and a matching leather jacket and equally leather pants, like a True Matchy Edgelord. This is undisputable and witnesses can account for the accuracy of this information.

6:27pm, Otabek arrives with Friends at a Russian-style restaurant that recently opened near campus. Otabek and Friends are reasonably excited at the prospect of trying good Russian-style cooking (listen,,,,russian food is fucking amazing fight me on it). Yura is nowhere to be seen. Otabek is seen holding a pair of gloves, however, which don’t really make up for Yura’s absence but are Something nonetheless.

6:44pm, Yura suddenly reappears, looking very agitated and definitely glove-free. He’s immediately shoved into the corner of the booth, where Otabek proceeds to manfully protect him from Noise and Light and also considerately ferries all the food from the drop-off point (far edge of table) to a point in Yura’s reach so Yura can seductively inhale it in 3 seconds flat. Both Otabek and Yura have ordered milkshakes. Yura somehow vanishes one, and is later seen chewing on the straw of a half-filled strawberry milkshake a few minutes later.

Yura has ordered vanilla. It’s a true fucking mystery. No gloves are seen.

7:21pm, the Friends have finally finished taking Instagram pictures and consumed all of their food at a much more manageable pace. Otabek excuses himself after they pay the bill, while Yura and Friends leave the (very good very quality would fuckin recommend the pelmeni with sour cream !!) restaurant to explore the scenery outside. Scenery mostly consists of trees, a long-ass canal with a wall on the other side, and lots of those put-in-coins-to-get-balls machines.

7:22pm, scenery does not consist of Yura.

7:23pm, scenery still does not consist of Yura. The Friends have won approximately 20 different balls and are currently trying to lob them against the wall opposite them from the canal without having balls drop into the canal. Friends are largely successful, but some balls inevitably are lost forever to the murky slimy canal depths.

7:41pm, the Friends are slowly getting bored of balls and canals. The current record for the most ball bounces with no drops is 21. Majority of the balls are gone, and so are Otabek and Yura, until suddenly they resurface out of the ether.

7:42pm, Yura is glowing.

7:43pm, correction: Yura is glowing because his pale-ass skin is offset by the shirt he’s wearing. It’s dark. It’s a black Muse shirt. It’s big on him and he’s beaming and there are cat ears on his head and a grin on his face and he’s waving something in their faces.

7:44pm, spoiler alert?? It’s not balls. Otabek claims they went shopping, Yura claims the tiger motif cream-cheese-filled pancakes are the best $4 he’s ever spent on anything ever, offhand mentions that they bought a pair of fingerless gloves, and Otabek eats half the pancakes in the little plastic bag before Yura can turn on him accusingly. Yura is wearing gloves for some reason, Otabek is sneakily reaching for the pancakes Yura has seized and is now holding hostage, and their Friends are loudly sharing strategies for ultimate throwing of balls in a very disorganized manner.

Yura takes one of 6 remaining balls and lobs it at the wall as instructed by Friends. Ball immediately rolls down wall and into canal. Friends tell him not to be discouraged, Otabek looks amused, and Yura looks like he’s thinking Otabek is mocking him internally. Yura takes another ball and adds more Rage into its trajectory. It bounces off wall this time, but it also flies very hard very fast and bounces off Yura too. Right into the canal. Otabek is laughing at him at that point, and Yura angrily blames the gloves before tearing them off and throwing them at Otabek’s face. Their friends are laughing too, but they offer Yura more balls.

Yura lobs another ball, now gloveless. Yura manages to catch ball. Yura manages to almost fall into the canal in the process of lobbing ball again. Otabek looks like he’s about to piss himself, either from laughter or genuine fear for Yura’s life, but he catches the back of Yura’s jacket anyway and pulls him to safety and shoves the last cream-cheese-filled pancake between his teeth to placate him. Otabek’s chest is vibrating against Yura’s back and Yura is petulant but he’s also eating good pancake so he’s momentarily distracted and warm and safe.

Then Otabek takes the remaining 3 balls, sends them at the wall with one hand and great precision, managing to catch not only one, but three balls in sequence. He keeps up the rotation of balls (sighs yes i know) in a way a professional juggler would be jealous of, until Yura kicks him in the shin and makes him drop all of the balls into the fuckin canal.

It’s not really about clothes this time, see, but Otabek helps Yura tie his hair back with gloved fingers so the wind doesnt whip it into his face. The Friends watch on, as all good side characters do. All in all it’s a good day, even if Otabek didn’t actually get a milkshake out of it.

He does set a record of 36, though, so ‘s worth it.

5. A C C I D E N T I S W E A R

Listen, by this point nothing is really “#5” because they’ve fucked up their own clothes allocations countless times, owing mostly to the fact that Yura buys anything animal print he sees on tumblr that delivers to their area and Otabek buys anything that Yura buys and inevitably they always get ridiculous matching things that they can no longer distinguish after 2-3 laundry cycles, but.

There’s a more Memorable time when they deadass don’t realize that the sweatshirts they’re wearing, while technically identical, have different colored patches on the back. Yura’s is orange (tiger ae!!), and Otabek’s is red, and if you looked at them in, say, hella dim light, they’d look identical, but they’re Not and their super perceptive friends Know that (especially their Mostest Super Perceptive Friend JJ who can read your mind on a good day and trample over your romantic prospects on a bad one), but that’s not really relevant yet; that is, until, Yura, and Otabek, disappear, together,,,into the locker rooms,,!!

And walk out an hour or so later wearing pretty much the same thing, except JJ chokes on his water because Otabek’s patch is now orange and what the fuck and both Yura and Otabek are like ???what??? while JJ has a minor internal crisis because he was right and inded the two campus edgelords must be fucking

+ AND THE ONE TIME,,

Otabek, being a good (boy)friend, comes to Yura’s dance thing, proceeds to die at Yura’s dance thing, is resurrected in time to collect Yura backstage and gruffly congratulate him and call him kitten unironically for the first time but you already Know that from previous shitty spam, so, let’s instead talk about how JJ’s beautiful gf Isabella is also a dancer and JJ comes to support her at every single show he can make it to and is always the first to buy the tickets from her and always sells a shitton to all of his friends to make sure the audience is always full to cheer her on

And he loves his gf so much and always takes care of her so when the dancers finally make their way out of the building through the back door into the cool autumn air he’s there already taking off his jacket to wrap her in it before she can even start shivering (she does have her own, but they haven’t actually gone to collect their things yet so all they have is themselves and their beautiful performance costumes and the cooling September weather and their respective, coughs, significant others)

And it’s really funny, because at that moment they both look over and Otabek is doing the exact same thing with Yura, carefully bundling him up in a jacket still warm with Otabek’s body heat, and Yura’s cheeks are pink and Otabek can sense JJBella staring so he looks over and JJ raises his eyebrows at him like Really ?? Is that how it is ?? and Otabek just mouths ‘what’ because they’re oblivious as fuckc and at this rate it would take another 3k words before they Realize

For instance, they vehemently (yura) and completely (otabek) deflect any insinuations thrown at them after the Sweatshirt Incident, of which the most convincing denial is Otabek blinking at JJ with a blank expression of Pure Confusion and JJ being like. huh. so wtf were yall doing in there. and Otabek is like. Exercising ??? and JJ is like huh. with ur shirts off ?????????????? and Otabek is like. well, yes, it’s exercise. and JJ is like ,,huh.

(+ otabek gets yura a deadmau5 shirt for his bday in march and gets a warning for sprinting in the corridors away from his inevitable death)

TL;DR: they’re gay, they get matching clothes, they forget whose clothes are whose and by the end of the year they’re either married or sharing closets or both. thnak 4 wasting tim reading this bullshit

#otayuri #hi i love this and u should write more of it please turn it into a fic im begging u #anyways im crying #thank u for this #submission

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novocaine-sea · 7 years

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The Mysterious Case of Otabear

Day 2 of Otayuri Week || Social Media

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 1,467

Pairing: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky

Summary:

‘Missing something?’ The caption read.

Otabek had to replay it and then screenshot it, yeah he did that with no shame, in order to understand. He slowly scanned his room for the bear, his bear, one of his only personal possessions that he cared about, and then realized that yes, it really was gone.

[Read on AO3] || Read below!

It started with a snapchat, as most things do.

Otabek was minding his business in his hotel room, a book open between his fingers. He was only skimming, retaining barely anything of the plot. But reading was more about passing the time for him rather than actually reading it.

His phone buzzed beside him and he checked it absentmindedly, not really expecting to see anything compelling. But it turned out to be a snapchat from Yuri so of course he was going to check it. When he opened it, it was to Yuri’s smirking face and Otabek’s bear, which had been deemed Otabear, pressed against his cheek.

The photo was captioned with ‘ Missing something?’

Otabek had to replay it and then screenshot it, yeah he did that with no shame, in order to understand. He slowly scanned his room for the bear,his bear, one of the only personal possessions that he cared about, and then realized that yes, it really was gone.

‘Give him back.’ Otabek responded with a selfie of an unamused expression on his face. Yuri opened it and never responded. Otabek waited about five minutes before sighing and putting on a pair of socks in order to pad down the hall to Yuri’s room. He had no care about the cleanliness of the hotel hallway’s floor; the only thing he cared about was his bear.

“Yuri!” Otabek called as he knocked on the door. No response. Of course Yuri wouldn’t be in there. Of course Yuri would do something as sick as kidnap his favorite bear. If Otabek had dare do this with one of Yuri’s precious cat plushies the blonde would surely have his head.

Otabek pulled his phone out and opened Instagram, because if Yuri was on snapchat then he was most definitely also on Instagram. And sure enough there was a picture of Otabek’s bear in Yuri’s arms with the caption ‘Look who I found ;).’ Otabek wondered how he had even gotten it in the first place, considering it had been in his hotel room where he had been holed up for the majority of the day.

The picture on Yuri’s instagram had thousands of likes already even though it was posted ten minutes prior. Otabek didn’t understand why he had to make this little game public but that was just the way Yuri did things.

Otabek took a picture of the hallway for the snapchat and captioned it ‘Yuri Plisetsky is evil.’

Then he posted it to his story for the world to see. If Yuri was going to play that way then Otabek could play right back, even with his limited knowledge of social media.

Next, Otabek did the only thing he could think of. He knocked on Phichit Chulanont’s door. The boy was surprisingly in his hotel room, rubbing a towel on his head.

“Otabek!” Phichit beamed. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Have you seen Yuri?” Otabek asked, the words tumbling from his lips before he could even think up a greeting.

Mischief gleamed in Phichit’s dark eyes and the boy hummed. “Who’s Yuri?”

Otabek narrowed his eyes. “Please.”

Phichit laughed and looked at his nails. “Well, if I did know who this Yuri person was I would tell you that I saw him leaving the hotel not too long ago. But I can’t be sure.” Phichit winked at him and started closing the door. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” His voice was in a sing-song and the door closed in Otabek’s face, leaving the Kazakh man dumbfounded.

Otabek leaned against the wall next to Phichit’s room, at a loss for what to do with himself. He didn’t even know where to start looking for Yuri. Osaka, Japan was a large city to begin with, yet Otabek doubted Yuri was far. They were by the Osaka Castle…

Otabek pulled out his phone. Yuri was nothing if not extremely predictable.

He checked his own snapchat story, even as he watched the new stories from his friends load. There was a new story posted by Yuri, of course there was, but Otabek had to make sure Yuri had seen his story first. And he did; he even screenshotted.

Otabek checked Yuri’s story next. Otabek’s picture was there, bordered in white to show that it had been uploaded from his camera roll. Otabek clicked to the next picture, which was of his bear. Yuri wasn’t in the picture but his arm was, extended upward, holding the bear up high for all to see. Osaka Castle was in the background.

‘On an adventure with a new friend!’ Yuri captioned it, the slick bastard. As if he hadn’t stolen the bear from Otabek, swiped it from his room somehow . Otabek tried to recall if Yuri had been in his hotel room recently-

Ah. Well. Yuri had been in there… overnight.

Otabek stormed back to his own hotel room and shoved his feet into his combat boots, hastily lacing them up before grabbing the helmet of the motorcycle he had rented while in the country for Four Continents. He pocketed his phone as he climbed onto the bike, revving the engine before speeding down the road. He swerved in between cars; this was a matter of life or death.

He was going to get his bear back.

When Otabek reached the Osaka Castle he almost forgot to take the helmet off and almost tripped over his own two feet getting off the bike. But he looked around for his bear or for a flash of long blonde hair that was bound to stand out. But he saw nothing, no bear, no blonde hair, not even cheetah print.

Otabek pulled his phone out of his pocket. No new notifications from Yuri, great. He took a picture of the castle, saving it before adding a caption.

‘Where are you now’ then he hit send, only to Yuri this time. The world didn’t need to know his location.

Yuri responded immediately. A picture of the front of their hotel. How had it take Yuri such a short amount of time to get back?

‘ We’re home ;)’ was what the photo said. Yuri sent another one after that, him kissing the bear and holding him tight in his arm. Otabek screenshotted that one because it was cute. If anybody asked, it definitely wasn’t his lockscreen.

Otabek had to rush back onto his bike and strap the helmet into place, zooming off back to the hotel. He was definitely breaking the speed limit and he was definitely breaking other laws but he couldn’t care. This was his bear, his only connection to home really, and Yuri had stolen it for a game.

Otabek skid into a spot by the hotel and once again tripped over himself to get into the hotel, jamming his finger into the button of the elevator. Of course Jean Jacques Leroy, AKA King JJ, from Canada was coming off the elevator with his signature smirk but Otabek couldn’t care. He was sweating, beads of perspiration dotting his forehead and beginning to slip down the sides of his head. He just got into the elevator and jam the close button, glaring at JJ’s face until the doors shut.

When they reopened he was running down the hall, feet stomping against the carpet and reverberating off the walls. He all but collapsed against the door and slammed one eager fist against the wood. “Yuri!” He shouted.

Light footsteps sounded from the other side before the door opened, Otabek barely having time to catch himself before he looked into the green, mischievous eyes of Yuri Plisetsky. His best friend and his boyfriend. Evil, truly.

“Beka! Nice to see you.” Yuri grinned and Otabek shoved past him, not playing this game anymore. The bear was sitting against the pillows of the neatly made bed and Otabek snatched it up, holding it close to his chest.

“This wasn’t funny, Yura.” Otabek said seriously.

Yuri’s smile faltered a bit but it didn’t lose any shine. “It was pretty funny. I would never hurt your bear, I just thought he needed some fresh air.”

“He needs to be with me. He symbolizes my country.” Otabek explained breathlessly.

Yuri walked over to him slowly and wrapped his arms around his shoulders in a hug. He was a little taller than Otabek now, Otabek twenty-one and Yuri being eighteen. Yuri pressed his forehead to Otabek’s and smiled softly.

“I’m sorry Beka. It was all in fun, honest.”

Otabek’s shoulders sagged. He couldn’t stay mad forever. He curled his fingers into Yuri’s long blonde locks and their lips met, briefly, and when they parted they were smiling. They kissed again and again and again, Yuri holding the bear up to cover their lips before snapping a picture.

‘I got him.’

#otayuri week 2017 #otayuri week #otayuri #oturi #otabek altin #yuri plisetsky #otabek #yurio #yuri!!! on ice #yuri on ice #aja writes

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ironinkpen · 7 years

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Yuri On Ice, “lovesick”

Summary: In which Yuuri worries, Viktor’s on the good drugs, and Yuri puts up with a whole bunch of bullshit. Inspired by this video.

Rating: T

Pairing: Victuuri

***

Yuri returns from the bathroom to find Yuuri hunched over in his chair and furiously typing away on his phone.

“Katsudon.”

Yuuri’s head snaps up. “Okay, I know what you’re going to say,” he says, because Yuri has had this same conversation with him three times over the course of the past hour. “But his heart monitor started beeping faster and I got worried but I didn’t want to bother a nurse in case I was being silly, so-”

Yuri snatches the phone out of his hand and looks at it. On the screen is some Japanese website. He can’t read it for shit, but he can pretty much guess the content of the page based on the helpful little picture of the man clutching his chest in the top right corner of it.

He groans. “For the last time, he’s not having a fucking heart attack, Katsudon.”

“I know that!” Yuuri takes the phone back, frowning down uncertainly at the webpage. After a moment’s hesitation and a pointed prod in the side from Yuri, he closes it. “I was just… checking.”

Yuuri has been “just checking” various websites for advice since Viktor had gone into surgery. Every few minutes he’ll look up at Yuri, make a face like he kind of wants to throw up, and then get right back to scrolling. Yuri had thought it was funny at first, but after having to talk Yuuri out of calling the doctor to book an MRI for Viktor because he’d somehow stumbled on a page about brain cancer while looking for threads about appendectomy complications, he’s beginning to find it annoying.

He’d thought Katsudon would simmer down now that Viktor was out of surgery, but no. Apparently he’s just graduated to heart disease.

His own phone trills in his pocket. Yuuri blinks up at him and the two make eye contact and reach something of an impasse. Yuri squints. Yuuri presses his lips together. Then, sullenly, he puts his phone down on the bedside table.

Yuri thumbs his lockscreen open to find a text from Mila. It reads, how’s babysitting duty??

He eyes Yuuri again. Now that he’s without anything for his hands to do, he’s taken to wringing them together and staring sullenly at Viktor, who sleeps on, utterly oblivious.

well, he replies, if viktor doesn’t wake up in the next five min I’m pretty sure katsudon’s going to give himself a stress aneurysm

and i’m about two seconds from throwing his phone out the window

but other than that it’s been whatever

His phone pings almost immediately. xa xa sounds like a good time

you have to admit though, it’s cute how much he cares

Yuri glances up to find Yuuri brushing the hair from Viktor’s eyes and sighing like a lovesick idiot. Viktor makes a face in his sleep, turning into Yuuri’s touch. Yuri swallows a gag.

it’s obnoxious you mean

they’re literally both disgusting and one of them isn’t even CONSCIOUS

Mila sends a string of sparkly heart emojis. Then, oh also yakov wants to know how viktor is

Yuri rolls his eyes and tries to find a good angle to take a picture of Viktor that’ll look as unflattering as possible. If everyone is so determined to worry about the idiot despite the fact that the surgery was perfectly safe (but Yurio, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Yuuri whispers in his head, what about this comprehensive list of things that can go horribly, horribly wrong that I found on a forum written by a bunch of paranoid hypochondriacs in their 40s-), he’s determined to give them something to worry about.

The plan falls apart quickly, though. Viktor is infuriatingly photogenic, even after getting his appendix ripped out. It doesn’t help that Yuuri is also in the frame, staring at him like he’s a sleeping god or something.

Yuri frowns and sends the picture anyway. like I said, he’s not dead

unfortunately, he adds as an afterthought.

thanks!!

he also wants to know how yuuri is

besides the stress aneurysm thing

Of course he does. Somehow, Yakov likes Yuuri for some weird reason, despite the fact that he’s technically a rival skater training right under the old man’s nose. In fact, if Yuri had to hazard a guess, he’d say that Yakov’s probably more worried about Yuuri right now than he is about Viktor. His main concern with Viktor is just how long he’s going to be out of practice to recover.

he’s fine, Yuri replies. he’s just being annoying

yakov wants to know if he’s been eating

oh my god just text him yourself

Wait, no. He glances up at Yuuri’s phone, which is still on the bedside table. actually don’t do that, if he picks up his phone he’ll start freaking himself out again

aw yura, you DO care

what no

he’s giving me a headache

i don’t give a shit about him i don’t even want to be here

georgi and i volunteered to go with him instead, you know

and yet………….

Yuri scowls, cheeks pinking. shut the fuck up, hag

He receives several sly face emojis in response, followed by another string of hearts. Yuri sends her knives, and is about to get creative with his death threats after receiving a kissy face when there’s movement from the bed.

Viktor moans. Yuri looks up right in time to see him wake up.

“Wh…?” His eyes are hazy and glassy as they roll around the room. They eventually settle on Yuuri, of course, because Viktor’s shameless like that. A grin stretches across his face, slow and lazy. “Hi.”

“Viktor!” Yuuri scrambles onto his feet. “You’re awake!” He doesn’t seem quite sure what to do with himself, fluttering between Viktor and the door like a drunk, confused bird. “I should call the nurse.”

Viktor’s voice is hoarse and dreamy and far away. He keeps staring at Yuuri with a gross look on his face. “Mm, yes, you should do that.”

The nurse has evidently heard Yuuri’s squawking, because he’s there before Yuuri can actually decide whether or not to leave the room. He smiles at Viktor and very calmly informs him that he’s in a hospital, that he just had surgery, and that he may be confused for a little while thanks to the anesthesia. None of this seems to mean anything to Viktor, who just bobs his head up and down and continues to stare at Yuuri instead of the nurse. They also don’t mean anything to Yuuri, whose Russian still sucks ass. The nurse tries to hand him a pack of saltines and he stares at them like they’re nuclear codes.

“He says to give Viktor the crackers and that he’ll be back in a few minutes,” Yuri says, annoyed at having to translate.

“Oh! Yes, of course,” Yuuri says to the nurse in clumsy Russian. “Crackers. Yes.”

The nurse pats him on the arm before leaving, looking sort of sorry for him.

Yuri turns his attention back to Viktor. He’s smiling and humming now. It’s mostly nonsense but some bits sound suspiciously like Katsudon’s Free Skate from last season. Disgusting.

“Viktor,” says Yuuri, fluttering back to Viktor’s side. “Let’s eat a cracker, okay?”

“Anything you say,” Viktor rasps. Yuri gags.

Things get a little more fun when Viktor tries to actually eat the cracker. He paws at it with clumsy hands and only manages to actually grasp it after three tries. When he finally takes a nibble, he immediately groans in pain.

“Ow,” He hiccups. There’s a long silence as he tries to figure out how chewing works. In the end, he just swallows the entire piece and takes another sullen bite. “Ow.”

Despite how worried he’d been before, Yuri sees Yuuri smothering a smile. “Are you alright?”

Viktor immediately brightens at the sound of Yuuri’s voice. “I am now,” he coos, and holy shit can he maybe not for two seconds?

Yuri’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He swipes it open to find another text from Mila. yuri?? i think yakov’s serious about the whole eating thing

he says he’ll go to the hospital himself to check if you don’t answer soon

yuri?

Instead of replying, he sends Mila a video he took of Viktor trying to figure out how to hold the cracker. She sends back a chain of crying face emojis and a demand for more blackmail material. As if she had to ask him to keep recording this train wreck.

“Can we sit up?” Viktor is complaining to Yuuri when Yuri turns his camera back on.

“In a minute,” Yuuri says, squeezing Viktor’s hand and ugh. “You keep eating your cracker and I’ll see if they can lift you up, okay?”

“Okay,” Viktor says back, though he makes no move to actually eat the cracker anymore. He’s blinking up at Yuuri again with that stupid look on his face. “Wow… you are eye candy.”

Yuri’s lip curls in irritation. Yuuri turns to him, looking hopelessly confused. “What? What did he say?”

Ugh, right. They’re still speaking in Russian. Well, if Katsudon expects him to translate that, he has another thing coming. “He says you’re disgusting.”

Yuuri looks absolutely unphased and unsurprised by Yuri’s response. He just turns back to Viktor. “Viktor,” he says in his clumsy Russian. “Can we speak English, please?”

“English?” Viktor echoes. Then, in English, “Oh, right. I speak that.”

“Yes, you do.” Katsudon replies, the words flowing easier now that he’s not butchering Yuri’s mother tongue. He grabs the hand Viktor is holding the cracker in and eases it back towards Viktor’s mouth. “How about we keep eating that cracker, okay?”

Viktor decides to not do that and reaches his free hand towards Yuuri’s face instead. “You’re gorgeous.”

Jesus.

Yuuri’s face turns bright red. “Wh-”

“Did the doctor send you?” When Yuuri doesn’t reply fast enough, since he’s still gaping like a fish, he turns to Yuri. “Did the doctor send him? Because wow,” He drops his arm and presses his hand to his chest like the dramatic bastard he is. “You’ve got to be the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh my god,” Yuri groans. “Is he hitting on you?”

“He doesn’t know who I am,” Yuuri says, because obviously the two of them are focusing on two very different aspects of this situation. “Oh, no, maybe I should call the doctor-”

“No, beautiful, don’t go!” Viktor whines.

“The nurse said he’d be confused,” Yuri snaps before Yuuri can go and Viktor can start getting really annoying. “So calm the fuck down and just tell him to stop flirting with you.”

Yuuri blinks at him. “Well, the flirting isn’t really the issue-”

“It is.”

“Come back,” Viktor complains, tugging on Yuuri’s sleeve with the cracker-less hand. Yuuri turns back to him, glances towards the door, and then sits back down. “Yay! I missed you!”

Yuuri smiles despite himself and maybe Yuri should have let him leave. Viktor crying about Yuuri not being there would have been preferable to dealing with the two of them making eyes at each other. “Sorry for worrying you. I’ll be right here with you, okay?”

“Yay!” Viktor crows again. He takes another bite of the cracker before something occurs to him. “What’s your name?”

Jesus, he’s like a drugged child trying to hold an adult conversation.

“My name is Yuuri,” Yuuri responds with infinitely more patience than Viktor deserves. Vitkor’s face lights up.

“Yuuri,” He parrots. “That’s such a pretty name. You’re so pretty.”

God.

“Thank you.” Yuuri’s smiles like a fucking schoolgirl instead of doing something to stop this nonsense. Yuri hates both of them so, so much.

Viktor reaches towards Yuuri’s face with the cracker hand. “Yuuri, we should do something after this.”

“Oh my god,” Yuri groans.

“We should- we should go somewhere.” The idiot gets so excited about the idea that he clenches his fist, pieces of cracker dropping right into Yuuri’s lap. “It’ll be great.”

“We’re going home after this, Viktor.” He brushes the crumbs off of his legs and rescues the rest of the cracker from Viktor’s hand, depositing it in the garbage can next to the bed. “Maybe we can go out after you feel better, okay?”

Viktor frowns. “Okay,” He says. “But you need to give me your number then so I can call you later.”

Yuuri’s eyes are soft and gooey and gross. “Don’t worry about that. You already have my number.”

Viktor blinks at him. “I do?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” There’s a pause as Viktor thinks this over. “Do I… know you?”

“Yes, you do.” Yuuri brushes the hair out of Viktor’s face. Then – fucking finally – he says, “We’re married.”

The realization dawns on Viktor slowly. It’s like watching a big, stupid sun come out. When it finally hits him his jaw drops open. “You’re my husband?”

Yuuri can’t seem to stop smiling. “Yes.”

“Oh my god,” Viktor turns his gaze to the ceiling, big, wide eyes trailing around the room as if looking for an explanation for all of this. When he doesn’t find one, he turns back to Yuuri and looks at him like he hung up the stars. “Really?”

“Yes, Viktor.”

“Oh, wow.” He reaches out for Yuuri again, probably aiming to do something stupidly romantic like cup his face or something but only really succeeding in smooshing Yuuri’s cheek with his palm. “Wow,” and he drags out the “ow” sound for a long, long time. “That’s amazing.”

“You mean awful,” Yuri complains. Viktor’s eyes flick to him before popping wide open.

“Are you our son?”

“Holy shit, no!” He whirls to Yuuri, whose shoulders are shaking with laughter. “Shut the fuck up, Katsudon!”

“We don’t have any kids, Viktor,” Yuuri just barely manages to smother the laughter into a wobbly grin. “We only got married a few months ago.”

Viktor looks overwhelmed. “We’re married?” He repeats, because he’s apparently stuck on that.

The grin softens into a smile. “Yes, we are.” Yuuri scoops up Viktor’s hand and shows him the rings on their fingers. Viktor stares at them.

“Wow,” He says, his voice littler this time.

Yuri tilts his head heavenward and prays for a meteor to strike him down or something. Instead what he gets is a glimpse of the nurse, who is standing in the middle of the doorframe and looking very, very amused.

“I came to check in,” the nurse says. Yuuri jumps a good five feet in the air. “Did he eat?”

Yuuri looks down guiltily at the cracker that’s still in the wrapper on the bedside table and at the garbage can. “Some.”

“That’s fine,” The nurse replies. He’d probably expected Yuuri’s incompetence. “While Mr. Nikiforov recovers from the anesthesia, we can go over out-patient care together.” When Yuuri looks at Yuri in distress, the nurse says, in heavily accented English, “You are taking care of him, yes? I have the procedure.”

“Oh! Of course.” Yuuri stands. Viktor whines and tries to tug him back. “I’ll be in the room, Viktor. I’m just going to talk to the nurse.” Then, as an afterthought, he presses the other cracker into Viktor’s hand. “Eat this in the meantime, okay?”

“Okay,” Viktor says, staring up at Yuuri like he would commit murder right now if Yuuri told him to. He takes a tiny bite of his cracker and says nothing else as Yuuri and the nurse huddle together to go over the forms.

Yuri stops recording and tries to decide what to do with the video. If he sends it to Mila, she’ll post it right away, and he wants to be the one to do that. It’s definitely too long to go on Instagram, but is it too long to go on Twitter? Maybe he should trim out the gross parts before he puts it anywhere.

“Keep eating the cracker, old man,” He says when he looks up to find that Viktor has stopped chewing in favor of ogling Yuuri. Yuri hates him. He hates them both. Fiercely.

Viktor doesn’t acknowledge him at all. He keeps staring at Yuuri.

“Wow,” he says to himself, pure wonder on his features. “How did I manage that?”

The corner of Yuri’s mouth quirks up traitorously and he bites his lip to stop its ascent. Not that really it matters. Viktor’s too busy being all gross to notice him smiling.

***

#yuri on ice #yuuri katsuki #viktor nikiforov #yuri plisetsky #victuuri #fanfictions #i haven't managed to finish anything in months!! it's so nice to write again #if anyone catches any obvious mistakes feel free to shoot me a message #i haven't looked over this at all lmao

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