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thesocialhijabi · 2 years
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The Tables Turn in June
I haven't written a monthly reflection in a while, and even though it's only the middle of the month, I think now is a better time than ever to really reflect on the past few months. My mental health is the same as it has always been (not good), and my goals for the year still haven't been completed. At this point, I don't think they'll be the focus of my attention; if I do them, I do them, and if not, then it's not the end of the world. And that's okay.
The only initiative I've taken to better my mental state is waiting for my health insurance to kick in, and now that it has, I have to look for a psychologist or a counselor to talk to. I doubt I will though, not because I don't want to, but because procrastination is my best friend.
I'm also having the slow realization that no matter what, I'll never have that perfect friend. The person I'll be able to confide everything in, the one with all the same ideals as me, the best friend I've been waiting for my whole life. I'd love for her to come around, but I doubt she exists. Even though I have my sister, it's not fair to either of us to consider each other "besties", especially when she has her own. It's fine, it's not a bad thing, if anything, it allows me to continue developing into my own person without believing anyone has an imprint on me. That reminds me of how my mother would call me a follower (and as a result, isolate me from others) in my childhood, but that's a story for another day.
I think this month is particularly special because I'm finally getting back into books the way I intended at the beginning of the year. I'm currently reading The Lightning Thief and Good Intentions, the former being as good as I remember, and the latter being better than I expected (so far). I called reading these books concurrently "a healthy balance between my childhood Greek mythology days and my modern-day dating problems", and I love how I described it like that. I think immersing myself in my books (as emotion inducing as it can be) is a good thing for me, especially because it has been so long since I enjoyed a good book.
I'm also immersing myself in a lot of shows, too many to mention in all honesty. I know I usually keep track of the shows I watch under each post, but I don't think I'm gonna continue that. I will talk about how I feel about the shows I'm currently watching in blog posts, it'll get me writing more, that's for sure. Right now it's The Boys (God, there's so much to say) and My Name is Earl (I used to watch it as a kid and am getting back into it), both of which I'm thoroughly enjoying. I also watched the finale for Peaky Blinders, and it really annoyed me as all hell, just because it left a lot of things unsaid in my opinion. And how could I forget about First Kill! For the first season of a show, I wasn't expecting much, but it came out swinging, and I'm praying it gets renewed for a second season.
Last thing before I sign off for the rest of the month, I officially started my loc journey with comb curls! I know what to expect with it (frizziness, not being able to touch my head as often, monthly retwists), and even though I'm a little nervous with how it's gonna go, I'm still excited. I think my biggest grievance is how my mother is going to react with me having locs, with her being the (somewhat) traditional African mum and all. I think being a hijabi really does help with the whole thing because it means I'm really just doing this for myself and my confidence. I'm keeping positive vibes and I'll be sure to write more about it as the months go on! Until then, chao 💖
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thesocialhijabi · 2 years
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Ramadan Reflections 14
On the 12th night, I practiced my previously memorized surahs before praying Taraweeh, and I realized then and there that I had basically forgotten the surahs that I didn't recite on a regular basis. It was worrying to say the least, as I was taught something that showed me the gravity of forgetting memorized surahs (I fear sharing it would have the same impact on someone else as it did on me, so I won't). That being said, the fact that I'm aware of this is amazing, because I can now fix this by practicing these surahs. Thankfully I have a few apps that aims to aid in memorization (Tarteel and Muslim Pal), so I plan on using them for the rest of the month. I'm still on the introduction for the Study Quran, but am hoping to finish it by Isha inshallah.
Once I finish the intro, I’ll start the tafsir for the first surah of the last Juz (An Nabaa). I was going to read the tafsir in the reverse order (starting with An Nas), but I realized that it may confuse me if I read it in that order. It's also Friday, which means I should listen to Surah Kahf (I'm doing so as I'm writing this reflection). I haven't done so in a while, as I would delay it until an hour before Maghrib, but nowadays I'm trying to listen to it earlier so that I don't feel rushed. Even as I'm listening to it, I think it would be in my best interest to look into what is being said (you know, since I listen to it on a weekly basis). I'll read the tafsir for Surah Kahf, and will write up about it sometime tonight inshallah.
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thesocialhijabi · 2 years
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Ramadan Reflection Day 10
As I was unable to fast for the past week (girl stuff), I borderline abandoned everything I planned to do for this month. I do feel bad admitting this, but I know that I'm not the only person that this has happened to, so I try not to let it get to me. Once I was able to pray and fast, I did, but I didn't pray Taraweeh, and I didn't do any extra forms of ibadah. I did pick my mum up from the airport though, which isn't Ramadan-related, but it's just something nice that happened.
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thesocialhijabi · 2 years
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Ramadan Reflection 2 (April 2/3)
No Taraweeh, no tafsir, today was a lot drier than I expected. I don't even think I was really tired or anything, I think I just didn't feel like doing anything spiritually productive. Suhoor consisted of a protein shake and a banana, as I didn't know what else to eat. I got groceries multiple times throughout the day and just stayed in bed when I wasn't either praying or food prepping. The day went by much quicker than I thought it would and I'm not too sure why. Iftar was a somewhat healthy meal (honey garlic salmon with rice, steamed vegetables and cheesy garlic bread), so I'm really grateful for that. I'm hoping I'll be able to at least pray my Taraweeh tonight, if not that along with my tafsir.
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thesocialhijabi · 2 years
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Ramadan Reflection Day 1 (April 1/2)
Alhamulilah, I reached Ramadan this year safely and healthily, given the fact that Covid is still a thing. My mom and I didn't fight per se, but we did disagree on the moon sighting (she follows Saudi, I don't). Luckily, the moon was sighted here as well, so most of us started on the same day (which is today). I prayed my Taraweeh and woke up early enough to cook for my brothers and myself. As it's the first day, I didn't do much, but I did start The Study Quran, which is a tafsir book I've been meaning to read for a while. I read a good chunk of the intro, but I need to get started on the actual surahs. Iftar consisted of burgers, which is always a good thing, but now I need to figure out what to have for tomorrow.
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thesocialhijabi · 2 years
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March 2022 Recap: 2 Rejections and A Driving Ticket
There have definitely been some downs for this month, so I'll start with those ones before getting into the lighter stuff. I got rejected from my first and last choices for the MPH program, which, at first didn't bother me too much. After all, everything happens for a reason, right? It's when I got the driving ticket that really got me. I didn't cry about it or anything (I had already done that earlier in the month), it did bother me to the point where I felt like isolating myself. So I did, for a little while, and I realized that even when I stop using one form of socials, I just get super involved in another, so that's something I know I need to work on.
On the bright side, I got an extension for my job, so even though I'll be fasting while working, I'll still be getting paid, so yay! I also started reading The Lightning Thief and using the treadmill on a daily basis, so I'm (finally!) getting a start on some goals. I also signed up for a weekly MCAT study session, so hopefully that'll get me back to my study schedule. I started my training for my volunteering at a call centre for SA victims earlier in the month, and I'm both excited and nervous to start answering calls, as I'm basically having to talk women through their crises, and I don't know if I'm ready for that. Hopefully I am!
Consumed Content:
Worst Roommate Ever
A.P. Bio
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Attack on Titan
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thesocialhijabi · 2 years
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February 2022 Recap
Similar to last month, I haven't started my goals for 2022, which obviously isn't great. With that being said, I did book my admissions test for later this year, and also started a new volunteer position as a "Community Outreach Coordinator and Research Analyst", so that's exciting! Will it impede on my time management and force me to worry about if I'm spending enough time on everything else I have to do? Of course, but I really wanna do them, so I'll force myself to make time for them.
I also officially finished all the required training needed for my job and started actually working, which was exciting! Even though the work itself is a little dull, I still feel like I'm doing something, which is all I want at the end of the day. I even had a follow up meeting with my manager, who said that my "display of initiative" is what he wanted to see from me. Granted, my asking questions was just because I wanted to see if I could do something different in my position, but still pretty cool nonetheless.
My mother travelled for the next little bit, so I'm also responsible for caring for my siblings while she's away. I wasn't expecting it to feel somewhat rewarding, but it does. I also feel like it's preparing me for motherhood, even though I'm completely aware that it's really not equivalent at all.
Around the middle of the month, I was rummaging through the basement and found all of my old pieces of writing from elementary and high school, and it *somewhat* inspired me to get back into writing fiction. Have I started at all since then? No, but that doesn't mean I never will. Like almost everything else in my life, I need to make time for it.
Plans for next month include actually implementing steps towards my goals, choosing a book to read (most likely American Gods) and working on my time management so that I can accomplish everything I want in a somewhat timely manner!
Consumed Media:
Attack on Titan
Euphoria
Disenchantment
Peacemaker
Juvenile Justice
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thesocialhijabi · 2 years
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January 2022 Recap: A “Great” Start to The New Year
Well, I can’t say the start has been as bad as I’m implying. I started a new job with an organization I’ve always wanted to work with, which is great! I’m also 3/4 done with something extremely important to me, which is also great. Hopefully I’ll be able to share more details about what I’m doing later on in the year. I think I felt a type of way for January because I barely accomplished anything on my 2022 Goal List, which is understandable, given that this month really has been a big transition from unemployment to employment.
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One thing I need to keep in mind is that whether or not I accomplish everything I planned to on this list by the end of the year is not a reflection of who I am as a person, or what I’m capable of. I will say it can probably speak to my time management skills, which is definitely something I plan to work on. So what do I plan to do for February? Well, first of all, making time to do the things I want to do (so everything on the list basically), and if that’s not possible, then at least focusing on the things that I believe take precedence. That would include contacting the counselors, working on my writing and choosing a book for February. I’m grateful that the spiritual aspect of my list has been pretty consistent, and I’ve added night prayers to the list of goals. Now it’s just everything else.
On a brighter note, I’ve watched A LOT of shows this month, which is something that always makes me feel good. It’s also something that I know can inspire me to write, especially in times where I really don’t know what else to write about. I think I’ll include a list of shows I’ve stared at the bottom of each monthly recap, because, why not? I’ll do the same for the books I read if I happen to read more than one.
Consumed Content
Shows
Peaky Blinders
Ozark
Abbott Elementary
Peacemaker
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window
Euphoria
Attack on Titan
Smiling Friends
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Last Day/Eid]
I know this post is coming much, much later than it should, but late is better than never I suppose. The last day of Ramadan wasn’t as saddening as I thought it would be. In fact, I was actually very ready for Eid the next day. I may be due to the fact that I didn’t need to fast that day (lady things), but with everything going on internationally and my consistent lack of energy throughout the day, I was ready to eat during daylight hours. As for Eid, I don’t have extended family members that live near me, nor do I have any family friends, so my family and I just stayed home and spent time with one another, like we usually do. This past month has had its ups and downs, but overall, alhumdulilah.
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Day 28]
We are almost at the home stretch, and honestly, it’s bittersweet. On one hand, I’m excited to be able to eat during daylight hours and to have more energy, but on the other, Ramadan has this spiritual aura that’s somewhat hard to describe. Even though I can be just as practicing after the month ends, it just feels different, if that makes any sense. One of the things I should have added to my Dua List was to be as consistent after Ramadan as I am during in terms of ibadah, but the fact that I am aware of my inconsistencies is a decent start.
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Day 27]
With everything that is continuing to happen, I am reminded of Surah Al-Fil:
Have you not seen ˹O Prophet˺ how your Lord dealt with the Army of the Elephant? (1) Did He not frustrate their scheme? (2) For He sent against them flocks of birds, (3) that pelted them with stones of baked clay, (4) leaving them like chewed up straw. (5)
He has brought justice to those that were oppressed before, and He can do it again, if He wills. He is The Just (Al-’Adl) and The Judge (Al-Hakam), we just need to put our faith in Him, as His servants.
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Day 26]
I contemplated not even writing today’s reflection due to a stomachache. An ache that was brought on by overeating. As it was my birthday earlier today (yay!), I thought it would be a good idea for me to get the largest size of shawarma possible and eat it in one sitting, after breaking my fast of course. Obviously, this wasn’t a good idea and I can still feel my stomach being unsettled 4 hours later. Thankfully, I’m well enough to be able to write this now, but I don’t think I’ll be able to eat suhoor.
As for my birthday itself, I decided to start it with a viewing of Judas and the Black Messiah (definitely recommend), my mom went out and got me an Iced Capp from Tim Hortons, and the rest of the day was just spent relaxing and praying. I’m grateful that I’ve made it to 22, as I know that some people aren’t that lucky, and I pray that this birthday will be one of many, many more to come.
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Day 25]
As uneventful as today was for me, I think I’ll use today’s reflection to bring awareness about what is currently happening in Palestine. I unfortunately am not educated enough to be able to speak fully on the situation, but I can do my part in attaching some resources that go more in depth. 
What is Happening in Sheikh Jarrah:
https://www.aljazeera.com/program/inside-story/2021/5/8/what-can-stop-palestinians-being-evicted-from-sheikh-jarrah
https://twitter.com/Beshoo_9824/status/1391154797219393537?s=20
Places to Donate/Charities:
https://twitter.com/kthsmole/status/1390803137196343297?s=20
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Day 24]
Today was a bit of a secular day, with the exception of the occasional Twitter scroll. Instead of reading and reflecting on Quran verses like I should, I spend most of my day editing my cover letter and applying to various jobs. It even got to the point where I forgot to read Surah Al-Kahf today. Will this affect me spiritually? I pray not. Even though I wasn’t able to do much today, that doesn’t mean that I won’t be able to do anything tomorrow, or even tonight. I plan to do my best in taking advantage of these last few days, in spite of whatever worldly tasks I have to fulfill.
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Day 23]
Even though there is less than a week until Ramadan leaves us, I’m finding that these last few days are slightly more productive than they were at the beginning of the month. I seem to have found my “groove” and am getting used to the repetition of ibadah, which is great; however, I pray that this is something that doesn’t become a habit for the sake of becoming a habit. Rather, I pray that the actions I am partaking in now are ones that I will always be conscious of and ones that I intend to do not for myself, but for the pleasure of Allah.
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Day 22]
Although Muslim Twitter has its... quirks, there are an insane amount of beneficial reminders that are simply comforting to read. Some examples would include specific Quran verses (10:65), the importance of keeping good deeds hidden, and some duas here and there. I even saw an article that discussed the commodification of automated donations during the month of Ramadan, which is something that I didn’t even think twice about. As stressful at the app can be at times, it really does have its benefits.
Aside from that, my reading of the Quran in both Arabic and English is progressing slowly, but surely. There were some verses that were confusing to me, so I made sure to keep note of them so that I could as a teacher about them. I’ve also officially started my job applications today, so I’m praying that I get the best position for me and my goals.
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thesocialhijabi · 3 years
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Ramadan Reflections [Day 21]
I experienced getting dragged on Twitter for the first time today. Luckily, it wasn’t as bad as it would be for others, so I’m grateful. Aside from that, I intended to perform itikaf, but with my inability to sit in one place and my constant need to use the restroom (chugging water tends to do that), I found it to be a bit of a struggle to do at night. Perhaps it will be easier if I aim to do it from Fajr to sunset. I won’t get distracted by anything, and it’s not like I have anything to do for the rest of the day. As for reading the English translation of the Quran, I am about halfway through Surah Baqarah, which is progress, considering where I was initially. I know I can finish the surah (even a juz really) in one sitting; I just have to focus on what it is I’m reading.
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