thoughtsnsuch

[thoughtsnsuch]

Post Grad Blues

I miss laughing so hard my stomach hurts and my eyes burning from being awake so late into the morning. I miss sitting in the back seat of the car with the windows down and music blaring. I miss us all ditching a party to walk home and talk about random things. I miss going through a drive thru at one a.m. with the car full of people. I miss getting out of a movie theatre and half of us saying it was shitty and the other half saying it was the best and arguing about it in the car. But I do miss laughing the most, I don’t think I’ve laughed in a long time like that.

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #i miss my friends #growing up #college #post grad sadness #thoughts #prose #miss you guys

[thoughtsnsuch]

I heard your voice for the first time in a long time on someone else’s Instagram story. I replayed it a few times. I hate to admit that to anyone. I wanted to text you and tell you: “I miss you don’t you miss me?”

But we both know the answer to that. And I’ll keep playing the story until it disappears just like your love for me did

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #prose #heartbreak #moving on #excerpt from my journal #spilled poetry #spilled ink #crying again #spilled thoughts #heartache #i miss her #i miss you #if youre seeing this

[thoughtsnsuch]

Distance

They said absence makes the heart grow fonder

But what if it didn’t?

What if they just realized they don’t really need you?

And for you, it was the opposite

You felt like you needed them.

But by the time you got the chance to say it,

They’d moved on completely in their own mind

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #prose #thoughts #december #writing prompts #excerpt from a story i'll never write #distance #absence #spilled emotions #spilled ink

[thoughtsnsuch]

Some days it hurts less. I don’t really think of you at all. And some days I can even think of myself with someone else. But then it hits me like a train and my head starts flooding with memories and emotions. I can vividly picture a memory as if I was back in it, at a coffee shop sitting across from you and pretending to like what I ordered. Memories are strange. Why do we remember things so certain and other things not? Like why can’t I picture what the inside of your car looks like anymore but I can still remember the way your hands look. I wish we could turn it off once we feel the waves of emotion coming in. It hits at the worst times, it’s never convienient is it

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #prose #spilled ink #spilled emotions #writings #inktober prompts #healing #heartbreak #excerpt from a story i'll never write #miss u #sad thoughts

[thoughtsnsuch]

times you cross my mind

seeing someone drink a hot coffee instead of iced

it’s dark and cold outside

anytime I overhear talking on the phone

hearing the noises of the walk sign when crossing the road

passing the cookies section in the grocery store

see any silver car

chinese food places open late

I guess I’ll never stop thinking of you

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #prose #inktober prompts #miss u #spilled ink #thoughts

[thoughtsnsuch]

sometimes I still expect the phone to ring with your name on it. You’d tell me what you ate for breakfast and how you’re already hungry or how the barista at Starbucks gave you a free drink so it must be your lucky day. We’d talk about how your sister was annoying you because she’s flaky and you were supposed to get lunch and she canceled. We both say we knew she would and laugh. She always was on her own time. You’d tell me about how someone you passed on the street had really cool shoes and you’ve been searching for them all morning. Then you’d say you have to go but you can’t wait to see me later and you love me and I’d say it back and we’d hang up.

We haven’t talked in months but I still hope it’s you when the phone rings. Messed up isn’t it?

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #prose #poetry #still thinking about you #heartbreak #spilled emotions #spilled ink #writings

[thoughtsnsuch]

Plane Jane

Someone once said I was plane

Is that why it didn’t take long for you to forget me?

Because I still remember everything,

It’s like it’s embedded in my brain.

But you forgot.

Poof like I wasn’t real

Like nothing we were ever happened.

I guess they were right

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #prose #heartbreak