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Hiatus update

It's closing in on a year since I made a finished piece. That's really sad. I never went that long without making things. I've gone months. I beat my record for longest dry spell since 2020. I'm going to try to make something soon though. My brain's reward system got damaged or something. It has become almost impossible to execute complex tasks and all I do is watch TV and wash dishes, sometimes I tidy up my room. Misdiagnosis and mishandling of psychiatric medication can really damage a person. I feel like my dreams have been crushed. But I went to the art museum last night. I felt ideas bloom again, but I forgot them, nothing really solidified. But the desire to open my heart up again like the artists I saw did was reawakened. I felt a nerve in my brain light up. I'm still in anguish over losing myself and losing all motivation. But I think there is a way out.

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do people know about the star trek barbies

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Notice

An antipsychotic shot took all of my passion away. I only took it so I could go home early because I thought I was going to die in the mental hospital. Medication doesn't fix delusions, therapy does, and there were no therapists in the mental hospital. I threw away my whole year, possibly my whole career. I'm a shadow of myself. I was getting my shit together, and then I had a manic episode because of the ADHD medication I tried, Straterra. During that manic episode, I was scammed by a "lightworker" who said things to me that made me afraid to sleep and worked me further into psychosis. A major reason why I wasn't working was I have bad ADHD and can't function well outside of school. (it's not that I'm not hungry for a future, I am poor and traumatized by the pandemic too) I was an ok student and that's all I ever will be now, I'm sorry.

Now I'm here, and I can't feel emotions like I did before. Invega sustenna blocked a majority of my serotonin, dopanine, and adrenaline receptors. I received a 265mg and 156mg shots 4 days apart on April 14th. I am 5'3, AFAB and 195 pounds. I believe they gave me too much.

It takes a whole year to clear and heal from this medication. I had no idea what I was getting into when I took it, I just wanted to go home.

When I went home, I felt like I had been lobotomized. I was shuffling and drooling and I couldn't think. I had great difficulty focusing on anything, I don't know how I managed to even try to make a painting only a month later. I thought I had cleared it. Then I felt like something was really wrong by July.

I'm just a ghost. I'm sorry. I don't know when I'll post art again. I was working on something, but it's not that good and I keep getting frustrated with it. I believe this medication shouldn't be used as a get-out-of-jail free card. I wasn't experiencing psychotic symptoms when they gave it to me, other than the belief I would be killed by nazis because I thought I had a dream about the mental hospital because I had psychosis deja-vu. I'm not the only person this happened to. They did this to another patient, who was the one who gave me the idea to also get the shot. I hope he's doing ok and not still on the shots.

#invega sustenna #mental health #mental health abuse #invega #lobotomy #chemical lobotomy #those shots they give the mentally ill aren't good medicine #antipsychotics #misdiagnosis #trauma #trigger warning #content warning #tw medical trauma #tw mental hospital #tw psychosis #tw mania #mental hospital #mental illness #indefinite hiatus

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The divine act of creation. To craft and mold yourself to completion.

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The great dragon migration

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Winter Captures the Night by EranFowler

This artist on Facebook

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studio ghibli gouache studies 🌼

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My commissions are open, DM me.

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#art #illustration #traditional art #watercolor #ink #lithop #absolute lithops effect #the mountain goats #lyrics #the mountain goats lyrics

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I drew someone from a band I saw at a festival, The Idiot Kids, a long time ago.

#punk #gendernonconforming #watercolor #ink #drawing #painting #traditional art #figure drawing #art #dally in the alley 2016 #guitarist #rock #illustration

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#owl #art #illustration #watercolor #drawing #graphite #animal illustration #study #i drew an owl from a picture from an old calendar that was in my room

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I've been struggling lately, I could use some work! I'm capable of making professional quality art. I need money for art supplies, personal items, and medical marijuana. I'm immunocompromised (ulcerative colitis, on biologics) and I haven't been able to have a public-facing job since 2019. Please reblog this, I'm starving for work! 10 slots open! Here is my portfolio: https://www.artstation.com/val_illustrates ArtStation sucks, I know. I'm putting my stuff on Inkblot soon. Some examples of full color bust portraits! I have two art styles.

My commissions are open, DM me.

#commisions open #digital commisions #cheap commissions #bust commission #art #illustration #disabled artist #autistic artist #chronically ill artist #adhd artist #ditigal art #traditional art #digital commissions #traditional commissions #bust commissions #sketch commissions #ink commissions #full color commissions #character art #i will draw your oc #i will draw your dnd character #i can draw pretty much anything

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?????

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Please reblog!

#Funguary #traditional art #illustration #art #ink #watercolor #amanita galactica #malicious #funguary 2023 #funguary malicious #original art

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Macrocybe Titan is the largest mushroom species in North America. I depicted an anthropomorphized Titan with animals indigenous to Florida. Feel free to reblog.

#funguary 2023 #funguary #friendly #macrocybe titan #watercolor #traditional art #ink #mushroom #fungi #animals #funguary friendly #illustration #art #original art

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A gif for Mermay!