Tumgik
xxplaugexx · 2 months
Text
me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:
Tumblr media
like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together
54K notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Happy Women's History Month <3
57 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 4 months
Text
me
Tumblr media
Visual representation of me around Hotch
295 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 5 months
Text
this is so cute😭
Dad’s home
Tumblr media
John Price x female!reader
Authors note: stuck in the editing phase so here’s a fic to hold you all over.
Summary: John Price is home for the holidays after his two month deployment and his children have missed him, but not his grumpiness. It’s time for them to take matters into their own hands and help their father settle in to home life again.
Warning: sexual themes, swearing, mentions of violence, not edited.
——————
“Ow!” The word ripped from your throat before you were conscious.
A painful pinch lit up the bare skin of your shoulder and then quickly faded into an uncomfortable pressure. It took a minute to realize whatever was happening hurt and then you were awake in an instant.
Your skin felt hot as you tried to sit up against the grip pulling your left shoulder down. Blinking and fumbling you grasped John’s hand that was painstakingly gripping your shoulder and pulled it away by his fingers. It was an incoherent thought but you assumed pulling his finger backward would hurt. This only caused his actual strength to kick in and he moved through you as if you were nothing. A huffed gasp left you as you realized this was scary.
Trying to stop John from holding you down by the shoulder through force wasn’t an option. Being woken up like this startled you in a primal way and although it was your John having a nightmare you went into fight mode. You thrashed, you kicked John in the thigh twice and your free hand came up to smack his bare shoulder. For a second you thought you might have to smack his face to get him to wake up and let go.
“Stop strugglin-“ John sat up with his right hand pressing your shoulder flat into the bed and now having most of his weight against you and towering half over you. He looked wide awake yet off so far away from here. John’s eyes were wild and filled with a violent rage.
Breathing through your nose you did everything to not panic but the tears were already welling in your eyes. John had nightmare frequently it was a package deal and something you had become accustomed to before you were married. Now it was something that you both accepted was part of his job.
John had grabbed you in his sleep before, it wasn’t unusual, he just did it sometimes. It could be uncomfortable but not painful, sometimes his grip did get a little tight but never had it hurt. It wasn’t a forceful grab but more of a grip to stabilize himself as if he tripped.
You caught a few stray elbows and a kick to the shin here or there. It normally happened when he was first home and from what John told you this past deployment was tough.
John’s body held the evidence of the physical fighting he had endured but John told you it was nothing compared to what he had to inflict on others. John had held you tight his first night home and told you how he had to fight for his life and there was a moment he thought he wouldn’t make it home. It had you both holding on to the other in a vice grip as if the universe was ready to snatch you out of your bed and devour you both.
It made sense to you that John would be having nightmares. But it always caught you off guard when his nightmare turned violent or he woke up screaming Gaz or Soaps name. He never screamed for Ghost but you never asked why, it felt too invasive.
Now, having John leaned over you wide awake and wild eyed, with your shoulder firmly pressed into the mattress with such an uncomfortable grip, scared you. The sniffles were quick to start. Being startled awake like this was terrifying let alone being half pinned down. Then you watched something in Johns eyes shift and he was suddenly home with you again.
“Darling, are you okay? I’m s-“ John pulled his hand from you and sat up.
Looking around and taking in his surroundings, John’s breathing began to steady. He wasn’t chasing down anyone or in any danger. Looking around the room and then back down at you only to see you staring back at him unblinking and breathing shallowly.
“Are you awake?” The words instantly had John feeling horrible. In an instant he knew he’d woken from a nightmare only this time he had pinned you down. John had dreamt that he had tackled an informant that had double crossed him and his men.
“Yes.” John admitted with so much shame. He was covered in a thin sheen of sweat that had his boiling skin feeling cool against the night air.
“Come here.” You begged, tugging John by his bicep.
John fell into you and just breathed you in, enjoying how your much smaller arms wrapped him up in a warm embrace. Burying his bearded face into the crook of your neck John felt his racing heart begin to slow to its normal pace. You felt the damp tears on your skin but never heard a sob or ounce of crying.
John just laid on you and fell back asleep in your arms. It was as if he melded in to you and was finally able to sleep peacefully.
As nice as it was to comfort your husband through these moments, they left you wide awake and restless. You were going to be sleep deprived but that would be okay since tomorrow was Friday and John would be home with the kids while you went to a half day of work.
——————
“Pssst, Jj!” Evelyn’s whispered words felt like they were somehow shouted in her older brother’s direction.
Jj was sitting as his desk in his bed room. He had been working on his book report and felt relieved to be distracted by his little sister. That didn’t stop him from giving Evelyn an annoyed look. Jj told himself he’d be done with this by Friday night and he was behind.
“What could you possibly want?” Jj rolled his eyes as he swiveled in his chair to face the ponytailed seven year old. Evelyn was already showered and in her white pajamas decorated with unicorns which made Jj realize he needed to start getting ready for bed.
“I’m bored.” Evelyn said simply. A devilish smile spreading across her face and blue eyes narrowing.
Jj knew that look all too well. That was the look Evelyn got when she had come up with some bad idea that would be worth the fun even if they got grounded.
“How much trouble are we going to be in?” Jj asked, tossing his pencil on to his desk and crossing his arms.
“Dunno. Could he a lot. Could be none at all. Well. . .” Evelyn tapped her chin as she thought over the outcome, her blue eyes cast down at the matching rug.
“No, we’ll get an ear full at least.” Evelyn shrugged and gave her brother a smirk. She knew Jj had been stuck up in his room all week doing homework after school. His English teacher this year had been piling on the work.
“What’s the plan?” Jj asked, a skeptical look fixing itself on his young face. He was looking more and more like John with each passing day.
“Well, I’m bored and want to mess with dad. Or at least bug him.” Evelyn checked over her shoulder making sure John wasn’t in ear shot.
“Bug dad? He’ll get so mad. He’s been pissy since he got home.” It was a bad idea and Jj knew their father would probably freak out.
Jj thought to earlier that day and how John blew up trying to fix the sink in the upstairs bathroom that Evelyn and Jj used. It was clogged with glitter and glue from the two Price children trying to make slime in the sink. Now that Jj thought about it that was a bad idea on their part.
“Exactly! He needs to be messed with. Mums sleeping on the couch to get away from him. Then heard her tell dad to ‘lighten up’ before she went downstairs with her pillow.” Evelyn informed her older brother.
“Stop eavesdropping. One of these days you’re gonna hear something you really really shouldn’t hear.” Jj said exasperated.
The young boy learned his lesson on eaves dropping when he overheard you and John fighting one night. It was a fight about their grandma and it was the first time Jj ever heard you name call Mary. If Jj remembered correctly you called her a ‘conniving cunt’ and John did not like you saying thing that.
“Well the point is dad needs to be reminded to laugh a little.” Evelyn looked at her brother equally exasperated.
“Fine, he does.” Jj conceded.
“Let’s hide all his left shoes and replace his mouth wash with a fizzy drink.” The ideas came quick to Evelyn.
“We’re gonna get in so much trouble.” Jj paused and thought over the decision that sat in front of him.
They would certainly be in enough trouble that you couldn’t talk John out of some form of punishment. But you had already told Jj and Evelyn they needed to go through their toys and get rid of the ones they don’t use. So there was a chance John would choose that as the punishment. With a heavy sigh Jj knew this wasn’t worth it.
“We should switch his shampoo with salad dressing too. If we’re gonna get in trouble, might as well do it right” If it wasn’t solidified before it was now, that Jj was turning out just like John. Even when it came to being up to no good Jj had to do it well just like John would.
It’s what made John so good at his job and was shaping his son to follow in his footsteps. If this was going to happen they might as well go all out. Stepping into Jj’s room Evelyn shut his door behind her.
“I’ve got a better idea. Should we mess with mummy too?”
——————
Silently, with your pillow under your arm you opened your bedroom door and crept in. It was still dark but the sun would be lightening the sky soon. John was sprawled out like a starfish, having your king sized bed to himself the previous night, and snoring obnoxiously loud as usual.
You could just make out his hairy bare chest and saw he had his muscular arm throw over his sleeping face and his other hand disappeared under the covers and was probably shoved in his boxers. You never understood why he slept like that but you came to find out it wasn’t as uncommon as you thought once you talked to your girlfriends.
The light creak of the floorboards under your fuzzy socks woke John up and you knew that because the room became silent. The snoring had stopped and your ruggedly handsome husband was beginning to stir, slowly siting up and resting on his forearms. With one eye open John smirked as you smiled back at him.
“Come to wake me up with an early morning surprise?” John’s voice was gravely and riddled with sleep.
You rolled your eyes at the insinuation and lightly chuckled that the first words out of your husband’s mouth were flirtatious. He could be such a dude at times only thinking with his dick when you two were in private.
“You’ve got your right hand for that.” You teased, tossing your pillow at him.
“Now, darling. After leaving me to sleep by myself is that anyway to be?” John fained offended that you would leave him to his own devices like this.
“Yes, considering you scared the crap out of me, enough that I slept on the couch. Now go back to bed.” You ordered, hoping a reminder of the other night would have your husband leaving you be.
You walked into your shared bathroom unable to help the smile that formed on your face. You could hear John getting out of bed and approaching you from behind. You felt his warmth before he caught hold of you.
“Darling, you’re avoiding me.” John pressed his toned chest against your back and then wrapped his burly arms around your shoulders. He blinked rapidly, eyes adjusting to the bathroom light you had just flicked on.
“I’m not avoiding you, just needed a full nights rest without being manhandled. I have an important video call in an hour.” The smile on your face earned one in return from John as he walked with you to the sink, his arms still wrapped around your shoulders. You looked so small with him standing behind you.
“I’m still sorry about that.” John hummed as he kissed your cheek and gave you a pleading look through the mirror. You ignored him and started to lay out your makeup.
“So no time to join me for a shower?” He whispered in your ear.
Pulling away John went and turned on the shower. Now being free to move, you turned on the little Bluetooth speaker you kept in the bathroom and put on your morning play list.
“No, but I wish I did.” You watched as John stripped out of his boxers and tossed them in the laundry basket as you rubbed primer on your face.
John almost always started his day with a shower, which he needed because he would sweat through the night. Your eyes raked over John’s impressive physique, stoping and admiring his bulging biceps and ignoring the scars and bruises that littered his body. You even admired his bare ass for a moment when he had his back turned. John’s chest was toned and covered in wiry auburn hair that traveled down to his abdomen and connected with the neatly trimmed hair at his pelvis.
John took your staring as your way of you silently telling him you craved him just as badly as he craved you. He wasn’t wrong but you didn’t have the time for anything besides a quicky and you craved John more than that. It would be a tease and you both deserved time to indulge in one another.
Strutting over to you John was ready to snatch you up and drag you into the shower with him. Looping his strong arms around you John pinned your arms to your side and placed a firm kiss to your sweet scented cheek. His skin was warm against you and you could feel his hard on pressing against your ass.
“Hands to yourself.” You giggled out as your husband continued to litter sweet pecks to your cheek and shoulder.
“C’mon, darling. It’s just a shower.” John purred, his thick voice still raspy from sleep.
He was now leaving sloppy kisses on your neck and it felt amazing. Between John’s soft lips and hot breath you could feel your panties begin to dampen. You wanted him so bad you could taste it, feel the heavy weight of John against your tongue and crave that familiar stretch.
“That you’ll turn into more.” You taunted wiggling your ass agaisnt John’s crotch.
The action had John practically growling in your ear. His icy blue eyes were staring back at you in the mirror with dirty intentions. John saw you biting your lip and how your pupils were blown wide. He desperately wanted you to give in to the ache he felt in his balls.
“And?” John asked. Strong bulky arms tightening and lifting you off your feet. A high pitched laugh left you. Wiggling against your husband’s hold as he carried you toward the shower fully clothed in your pajamas.
“Later, John. The kids are going to be up any minute.” The sweet giggles floated through the steamy bathroom as John let you go, once your bare feet met the tile floor.
“Fine.” John rolled his eyes dramatically and then swatted your ass. It stung a bit but only turned you on more. You pinched his right cheek and skipped away as he tried to grab you but missed.
It made you grin ear to ear watching your naked husband saunter into the shower. John knew you were checking him out and it made this exchange all that more tempting. He knew you’d put out easy once he had you in bed later that night, well that was if you didn’t sleep on the couch again. He just needed to keep up the charm and planting these flirtatious seeds and later maybe he could plant his.
“But you’re a cruel woman for making me shower on my own.” John joked, earning him an eye roll right back.
“Did you move the elf?” John called over the spray of the shower head.
Your kids had begged you for an elf on the shelf this year and you and John had to watch YouTube videos and talk to other parents to even understand what the thing was. It was proving to be fun for both of you. John had sat it on the couch, in his spot, yesterday with the remote and an empty beer bottle. It made you snort out a laugh when Evelyn and Jj hysterically laughed that the Elf had a beer and watched tv like John.
“Yeah, he’s got his arm caught in the cookie jar.” You snickered.
“Brilliant!” John laughed.
You and John busied yourself with your respective tasks. You started with your makeup as he showered and you both sang along to the music you had lightly playing. It might sound strange but you and John always loved the time you spent in the bathroom together. It tended to be easy and simple when you both started getting ready for the day together.
It was mostly because you were both naked or half dressed but the privacy was the most you got in your home with three kids. You two liked showering together, taking baths, or other activities.
You once hid in the bathroom together and split a piece of cake so your children couldn’t ask for a bite. Evelyn knocked on the door and complained that two were taking too long and she wanted one of you to braid her hair. It had you and John inhaling the desert and pretending as if John wasn’t feeling too good so you were ‘taking care’ of him.
You two joked that you had sex in your shared bathroom more than your bedroom and now that you thought about it the jokes may have become reality. Or at least a 50/40 split with 10% being in obscure places in your home like the laundry room or each other’s offices. You did have a shag on the dock of the pond after skinny dipping last week when the kids were at your dad’s so maybe your math was off.
“What the FUCK!” John hoarsely yelled the last word. A loud gag wrenching from your husband throat. You heard something loudly clatter to the floor and later realized John had knocked over all your shower supplies.
“What! Are you sick!” It was more of an exclamation than a question.
You tossed your beauty blender into the sink and high tailed it to the shower to see John frantically scratching his head under the spray of the shower head. A milky white stream flowing down his rugged back.
“Did you put formula in my shampoo?” John asked and then immediately knew who the culprit was.
You were a trouble maker but not a prankster. Evelyn was the prankster in the house and when she got a good idea you were all damned and she happily accepted the consequences.
“EVELYN!” John yelled so loud there was no way your daughter didn’t hear. If she wasn’t awake she was now, and knew her father was about to be on a war path.
“Stage one.” Jj whispered to himself as he heard his little sister’s name shouted by their father. Blue eyes fixed on his ceiling he took a breath and prepared himself.
Gulping the anxiety down Jj quickly shot out of bed and ran for the back door. If this was what Evelyn felt whenever she timed her pranks so flawlessly, Jj was starting to think he wasn’t cut out for what his sister was capable of.
Evelyn was peaking out of her room and nodding for Jj to get going. She was ready to take the fall for the moment and be scolded. But for now she was going to go pretend to be asleep until you or John came and got her.
Jj had been the one to put baby formula into John’s shampoo but they both knew John would jump to it being Evelyn. She would be able to deny it and really mean it which would buy Jj time. By the time John was questioning her, Jj would have started stage two of messing with their father. Then leaving the final prank to Evelyn.
John was infuriated to say the least, that his eldest daughter put baby formula into his shampoo. She knew John couldn’t stand the smell for reasons beyond himself. There was just something about it that made John queasy so to now have his hair smell of it was an aggravating way to start his day.
“Oh lighten up. You know she’s only doing this because you’ve been grumpy.” You reasoned with your husband. John was now violently scrubbing your honey scented shampoo into his hair.
“I’m her father she shouldn’t be disrespecting me like this.” John grumbled.
Hearing his own words had him wondering if maybe he should try lightening up. It was harmless fun pulled by a nine year old after all. Still John had trouble handling embarrassment especially when someone pulled something over on him. Let alone that someone being a child.
“Do I need to say it?” You asked hoping John had heard himself.
Evelyn wasn’t being disrespectful she was being a child. There was no need for John to be shouting. Talking to her calmly and explaining he didn’t want to be involved in her pranks was what you would advise John to do. It would only fuel her to continue the bad behavior if John was upset because she was getting the reaction she so desired.
“No, hand me a towel.” John practically barked at you.
Extending his muscular arm in your direction he waited but nothing found its way into his hand. Looking up John saw through the foggy glass of the shower that you were back to doing your makeup.
“Darling.” John said in disbelief. Jaw going slack that you hadn’t handed him a towel, that had been right next to you.
“I didn’t hear a ‘please’ and if we’re going to go on about disrespect, I think we should start at the root cause.” Your voice was even as if you were talking about the weather. John knew you were trying to teach him a lesson about patience and he hated that. Not because you were right but because it could feel patronizing at times.
“I’ll do it myself.” The words were pointed in your direction.
John waited for a witty response but you only turned up your music and pulled up his t-shirt you were wearing to expose your ass and powder blue panties. When did you take your pants off? John wondered and then sighed out, or more grunted at you being so cheeky; in more than one way. You looked so sexy and tempting half bent over the bathroom counter as you applied mascara. Your ass now on display and John’s former desires floating to the surface. It was distracting him from being angry.
“If you can drop the attitude you can have it.” John stepped out of the shower, dripping warm water onto the mat beneath his large feet and on to the tiled floor. Your words had all his annoyance vanishing in a puff of smoke.
“You’re bribing me?” John asked with an eyebrow cocked. Towel in one hand as he dried his hair, allowing you to have a full view of his chiseled body.
You both made eye contact through the bathroom mirror and your eyes darted down to watch John begin to harden again at the mention he might get some. You liked that John was thinking this was you trying to appease him when in fact you were being an opportunist.
“Come get it, Captain.” You teased. Internally pleading for him to come and give you what you both wanted.
——————
“So I can’t find any of my left shoes. . . Do either of you know anything about that?” John was standing up straight with his arms crossed over his chest. He was dressed in grey sweat pants, a black fitted long sleeve shirt, and had festive socks on with Christmas lights decorating them.
It was Saturday which you charmingly called ‘pajama day’ because you let everyone in the house change into fresh pajama and lounge around until you had something you needed to all change and do. It was important to you that at least one day out of the week could be spent not running around and showing your kids relaxing was okay if you worked hard during the week.
Evelyn and Jj were standing by the back door in their snow suits trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. Jj’s suit was white camouflage while Evelyn’s was neon yellow. You and John joked she looked like a highlighter which Evelyn quipped ‘the smartest highlighter you’ve ever seen. . . And pretty too!’
“Nope.” Jj looked instantly guilty as he blatantly lied to John. He was having trouble keeping eye contact with his father and chose to stare at John’s forehead instead. It was a trick John mentioned once on how people he worked with got away with lying.
“You wear shoes?” Evelyn asked in mock seriousness and then pushed Jj by the shoulder as if he had done it; which he did.
This was part of their plan for Evelyn to try and blame it on Jj which they didn’t think you or John would believe. But now that Evelyn was seeing her plan unfold and Jj was doing a horrible job at being convincing. The whole point was for Jj to get in no trouble and Evelyn would take the fall for everything since this was all her idea.
“Evie, did you hide my shoes?” John squatted in front of his daughter knowing that she wasn’t the culprit but the mastermind. John had realized quickly that his children were in on this together; but they didn’t know that.
“Course not daddy.” Evelyn smiled sweetly.
She had cut back on calling John ‘daddy’ within the last year but it did slip out often. She also especially called John ‘daddy’ when she wanted something, was in trouble, or he was newly home from deployment.
“Okay, then. Go on.” John’s eyes were narrowed as both his oldest children stared at him.
They looked uncertain about going and playing outside. They thought they’d be in so much trouble by now but they weren’t. It was almost as if they were being tested and should just admit to everything they had done.
“Dad-“ Jj started only for Evelyn to turn her whole body, her snow suit rustling as she did so, and stare at him with her arms crossed like she was ready to square up and fight him.
“Yeah?” John asked. Ignoring his oldest daughter and staring at his son with raised eyebrows. Jj was now staring at the floor.
“Nothing.” Jj whispered and then turned slowly to leave through the back door.
Shooting you a guilt ridden look Jj’s breath caught in his throat seeing you smugly smile at him. Jj knew they were caught just by the way you looked at him but didn’t know why they weren’t in trouble yet. Maybe the suspense was Jj’s punishment. If it was he had definitely learned his lesson.
“Run along.” John’s voice was deep and commanding as he stood back up and it had Evelyn and Jj booking it out the door to go check on the tree house to make sure snow hadn’t gotten in. In their haste they accidently slammed the backdoor and yelled out a ‘sorry’ for doing so.
John turned to you, who was smiling widely. His own bearded face cracking into a look of amused disbelief.
“Why are they messing with my belongings?” John asked you, silently wondering if you were the one up to something. It wouldn’t be far fetched for you to suggest that your kids mess with John.
“Dunno. Maybe it’s because you’ve been such a grump and need to learn how to take a joke again.” The joke only had John becoming more suspicious. A playful grin spreading across his face as he stood on the opposite side of the kitchen island as you.
“So you put them up to this.” John concluded.
“I actually didn’t. I’m gonna guess it was all Evie and she roped Jj into it.” You shrugged, knowing your daughter all too well.
“Well, messing with my shoes and shampoo seemed to be enough.” John sighed and sat in one of the stools at the kitchen island.
“Who knows maybe there’s more.” You joked not actually thinking your kids would pull more than two pranks in one day.
You had been dampening John’s annoyance to the best of your ability. You distracted him from the shampoo incident with a rough quicky in your bathroom which was one of the best fuckings you’d gotten all week.
Seeing how angry he had gotten was the final push you needed to be late for your meeting and let your husband have his way with you. There was something about being John’s darling wife that he could take his frustration out on through sex that was just so hot. Part of you loved when he was pissed off because you’d seduce him and get fucked so hard there’d be an imprint of you in your mattress.
John did find the shoe prank amusing and let you talk him down saying your children were obviously messing with him. John had found all his shoes in the dryer almost immediately when you asked him to throw in a load; that’s how he realized they were missing in the first place. He didn’t tell Jj and Evelyn he’d found them it would ruin the suspense.
You had been subjected to this in the two months he had been gone. Your car keys had been replaced with Lily’s baby keys and the fruit you would chopped up the night prior would be replaced with whole fruit that needed to be recut. It was never hard to find where the fruit went or that your car keys were just in your purse. It was innocent and fun if you just spent a few minutes looking around.
The pranks didn’t stop there, Evelyn was cunning and always found new ways to be silly. Your favorite being when she swapped out Jjs lunch box for her unicorn one and he had to eat out of it at school. She also put sappy notes into his lunch box that could be mistaken as some you left, her hand writing gave her away. Evelyn was trying to embarrass her brother and throw you under the bus. She was too smart for her own good and you had half a mind to pull one of her silly pranks and show her how it’s really done.
“What if we prank them back?” You asked getting a delish grin.
You were washing up from lunch, the house finally becoming quiet. The only reason you made Jj and Evelyn play outside was because they had woken Lily up from her nap last Saturday and you didn’t want a repeat of that.
“Prank the kids? Wouldn’t we be encouraging the behavior.” John quirked an eyebrow and said a quick thank you as you handed him a bowl of yogurt with blue berries. It was one of the easiest snacks to give your husband that wasn’t loaded with processed sugar. John also loved blueberries to a point you could put them in anything and he’d eat it.
“What if I have a way we won’t get caught?” Placing your hands flat on the counter you watched John’s face carefully to see if he’d be your accomplice.
“They’re like this because of you.” John pointed his spoon at you as if to tell you to knock it off.
“You act like that’s a bad thing.” Biting your bottom lip to hide your smile, you failed. It had John lightly chuckling to himself with a mouthful of food.
“Never. But you’ll be on your own for this.”
“Spoil sport.”
——————
Laughter was floating through your kitchen along with light jazz music and the smell of fresh cookies. After dinner you all spent the time to make fresh sugar cookies together and stamp them out in fun shapes for the holidays. John had to be asked to stop eating the cookie dough, which you thought you’d have to scold your children for.
You sent Jj and Evelyn into the living room after to play and told them they could watch whatever they wanted but you’d be changing the channel once you and John were in there. You and John both groaned when you heard the familiar sound of Evelyn dumping her legos out to play with.
Lily was sitting in her high chair and sucking on a frozen teething ring and watching Molly, the family dog. Lily had gotten a fever earlier that day because of the teething so it was nice to see her not upset and screaming from the discomfort anymore. She was more focused on Molly who equally had her attention.
Now you and John were doing the washing up as he told you about some new developments with task force 141. Telling you about people you’d never heard about aiding them. It made you feel a bit at ease knowing John had friends in Mexico now that could support him and his men. You asked if the boys could come over for Christmas Eve and John told you to hold off until Lily was older so you agreed.
Suddenly a loud crash came from the living room. You couldn’t describe the sound only knowing it sounded bad. It had you and John both freezing in your spots and then looking at one another from across the kitchen. Your conversation coming to a dead halt and then your daughters scream sending you both running for the living room.
“AHHHHHH” Evelyn shrieked.
“No, no, no!” Jjs voice became high pitched as he shouted.
You were right behind John as you both bustled into the living room. You had scooped Lily up and brought her with you. You didn’t know why but just hearing screams made you feel like you needed to protect your youngest daughter just in case.
“Is anyone hurt.” John called to his children as you and him ran into the living room.
Thats when John saw it and couldn’t stop himself from being filled with rage. You could feel John’s anger radiating off of him and couldn’t stop yourself from inhaling sharply through your nose and feeling the same way. You wanted to yell that you warned them of this but couldn’t find your voice.
The television screen was broken and showing bright colors of purple and green stretching from the bottom left corner and fracturing across the screen. It was so broken the picture behind it was black and all you could see was the impact of whatever hit the screen in that corner.
“You broke the telly.” John whispered.
Your hand was covering your mouth as you watched John’s face become stone cold. He was so angry he wasn’t even shouting. You couldn’t shout with Lily in your arms but you wanted to.
“It was Jj!” Evelyn pointed at her brother but John’s eyes were fixed on the television. You saw Jj go wide eyed and knew it wasn’t him just by the way he turned to you almost pleading to believe him.
John had missed the match earlier today and recorded it to watch after dinner tonight. Not only that but the thousands of pounds he spent of the television were now gone and he’d have to replace it. It was a 70in television those things weren’t cheap. You flinched before John ever spoke, his energy palpable.
“UPSTAIRS NOW!” John yelled, pointing at the stairs for both his children to get out of his sight.
“Evie did it!” Jj yelled right back. You were floored that Jj would talk back like that.
“Did not!” Evelyn shouted at her brother.
“I don’t care who did it. Upstairs. Before I say something we’ll all regret.” John spoke through gritted teeth.
You did have to commend John for his self restraint. Every fiber of his being wanted to go on a tirade and shout and lecture both his children. To scream how much money that television cost and to finally end with how you both told them not to horse around in the house.
“Got you!” Evelyn hollered.
Taking the remote she flipped the channel showing the television was in fact not broken. It was a YouTube video she had pulled up to make it look as if it was.
A stunned, electric silence filled the room. Evelyn had her arms outstretched presenting the television and was giggling like a fool. You felt your breath catch in your throat and needed a second to comprehend you had also been fooled. You wanted to sigh out in relief and chuckle that she had gotten you but then you saw John. He was still staring at the television and you thought his eye twitched for a second.
“Oh, Evie.” You whispered. Running your hands through your hair you shook your head in’s disapproval.
Looking back at John you watched how his mustache twitched just a bit. You swore he was about blow a fuse and you watched how he didn’t know how to react. Breathing shaky through his nose, John sat on the couch and placed his face in his hands.
“I told you this one was too far.” Jj hissed at his sister. Evelyn was shocked to see the effect her harmless prank had on her father.
“Daddy, I was just joking.” Evelyn stepped toward John only for him to put out his hand for her to stop.
“Go upstairs.” John mumbled into his other hand, unable to look at either of his children.
“It was just a joke-“
Jj was biting his nails and looking between all of you. The guilt made his chest tight and he swore off anymore pranks for the time being. Seeing how this was upsetting his father made the young boy want to crawl into a hole. Maybe he’d ask to go to church tomorrow so he could beg god for forgiveness.
Evelyn had a her lips pressed into a firm line and just wanted to hug her daddy. She didn’t mean to make him so upset it was all just suppose to make him laugh in relief. She felt like such a jerk and just needed to know John didn’t hate her for being a trouble maker like usual.
“How about you two go put a movie on in our room while your dad cools off.” You awkwardly smiled at your children and shooed them out of the living room and up the stairs.
“Sorry dad.”
“Sorry daddy.”
Both your children tried approaching John again who still had his face in his hands.
“Go away.” John mumbled into his hands.
Jj and Evelyn both looked at you wide eyed and all you could do was shake your head in disapproval. It took all of you to stay firm when that was one of the funniest pranks you’d ever seen. Your daughter had truly fooled John. They both asked if you could come upstairs with them and you told them you’d be up there with Lily soon. Evelyn asked if they could watch Spirited Away again and Jj dragged her upstairs knowing you wouldn’t mind. She was just trying to keep you talking because she didn’t want to be without you at the moment.
Once you saw them both disappear into your room and the sound of your television turning on you sighed out a chuckle. John was lounging on the couch watching you with tired eyes. Strutting over with Lily on your hip you stood behind John and began scratching his head. This was your chance and you were going to snatch it. You didn’t give John a chance to vent or complain, you saw the desperation and took advantage of it.
“So you wanna prank them now?”
“Fuck, yes.”
——————
“Shhh.” John’s hushed voice echoed down the hall. You had to bite your lip hearing the giggle he let out right after.
John was enjoying pranking his children far more than he thought possible. No wonder his daughter loved doing this. Maybe if John had given pranking a try as a kid he’d be the same way as Evelyn.
John was exiting Jj’s bedroom just as you left Evelyn’s. Purple markers in hand you had to cover your mouth with one hand to not let out a chorus of laughter. Making eye contact you both walked on your toes and rushed into your bedroom. As soon as the door was closed you and John gasped out and tried to laugh as quietly as possible.
“You’re brilliant” John grabbed you and picked you up, only to toss you right into your king sized bed. You gasped and snickered as you bounced against the mattress. Snagging your pillow you pulled it to your chest and hugged it.
“See, we won’t get caught.” You giggled out as you sat up.
Your bright eyes were fully on display in your moonlit room, the drapes hanging fully open. John just had to hold you close in this moment. The two of you fell into bed together, giggling and whispering about your bad dead’s and trying to guess how your children would react when the sun woke you all up. You ended up falling asleep intertwined, with your head comfortably lying in the crook of John’s shoulder and your legs laced together.
——————
Sitting up slowly, you felt an ache in your lower back. As comfortable as the couch was to sit and watch a movie, it was not meant to sleep on.
You fell asleep with John the previous night but after getting kicked in the ass and then smacking him with your pillow you had enough. John woke up dazed and babbled about ‘it’s a goal kick’ you knew it wasn’t a nightmare. The ass was dreaming about football and kicked you thinking you were the ball.
You did stop on your way out and play with the purple marker on his bedside table for a quick moment and when John stirred you kissed him and he went right back to sleep. It was your own small payback for getting pinned down the other night and now kicked.
You then made your way downstairs and slept on the couch. Which you were now waking up from and kicking yourself for not waking John up and telling him to come down here instead.
Normally when you woke up you went to brush your teeth, wash your face, and get ready for the day; but today was Sunday.
Sundays were sacred in the Price household. It was the one day a week you didn’t get your kids up and out of bed and Lily was John’s responsibility until it was time to breast feed.
Everyone knew this was the one day you got to sleep past 8am and to go to John for anything because you were relaxing until lunch time. You had no responsibility besides feeding Lily. John had established these Sundays after one too many ‘mummy meltdowns’ as Evie so charmingly called it. It was usually just you running out of patience and needing a break from it all.
So John designated time for you every Sunday on top of the times he stepped in and took over being the default parent. It was something you appreciated so dearly about him and loved; that because you were the default parent when he was away didn’t mean you were when he was home.
“What’s on your face?” You could hear Evelyn ask someone incredulously.
“My face? What’s happened to yours?” Jj’s husky voice croaked through the air.
You knew instantly he staid up late from how tired he sounded. You also knew this because you and John pushed back your prank two hours because your son’s bedroom light was on far past his bed time. You couldn’t say much, all you asked was that he went to bed quietly and was in his room by 9. You couldn’t control if he wanted to read his book until he was ready for bed. Which you didn’t blame him, he had just started the Chronicles of Narnia.
A gasp could be heard and was followed by the pitter patter of small feet rushing to the washroom. In their bathroom the elf on the shelf was sitting on the faucet with the purple marker that had been used. On the mirror read:
‘Prank and be pranked.
Forever yours,
Alfie’
“He has a name?” Evelyn asked, checking out the elf and poking it with the marker left on the bathroom counter.
She then turned and checked out the drawing on her face. She had two very symmetrical rectangular marks around both of her eyes with a connecting line over her nose, made to look like glasses. Her mouth had little dashes around it and ran up to her sideburns made to look like her father’s facial hair. Her chin was left barren besides a few little dashes under her bottom lip, mimicking how John’s facial hair formed.
“He drew on our faces!!” Jj’s yelled hoarsely.
You could hear them both, from your spot on the couch and for the first time, you heard Jj’s voice become deep. You instantly wondered if he would have a deep voice like John.
“This is your fault!” Your son turned on his sister quickly not knowing you were in ear shot.
“Why me!?” Evelyn practically shrieked as the accusation.
“Why is it that every time you have some brilliant idea we end up in some kind of trouble? Mum and dad haven’t even gotten to us yet!” The tone of Jj’s voice was irate.
It was obvious the young boy was sick and tired of his sister getting him in to trouble. It instantly made you think of the time you asked them ‘if your friend jumps off a bridge are you going to?’ And they both asked how tall the bridge was.
Jj turned to look at himself in the mirror and was even more angry. He had horribly drawn circular glasses in purple marker around his eyes, a purple unibrow, and a crudely drawn handle bar mustache. Picking the elf up off the faucet, Jj walked over and chucked it into the waist bin by the toilet.
“DONT TOUCH IT!” Evelyn shrieked at the top of her lungs. Neither child flinched as Lily began to cry from her room a few doors over.
“Mummy said bad things happen if you touch it and she’s not a fibber!” You heard Evelyn jump off the stool in the bathroom. She was squared up to her older brother as if he was the cause of all their problems.
“Don’t touch it? It fucked us over, Evie! And it’s your fault.” Jj was so mad he resorted to swearing.
You had to clamp your hand over your mouth before you yelled for your son to watch his language. It made you wonder how he spoke when he was just with his friends but still it was funny to hear your children think the elf on the shelf did this. It made you want to have another just hear them bicker. That way Lily had a sibling close to her age but it just wasn’t possible.
“Stop, yelling. You’ve woken your sister” John groggily walked down the hall, his finger tips running against the wallpaper as he headed to get Lily. John was in his red plaid night pants and white t-shirt he had quickly thrown on backwards.
The two oldest Price children ran into the hallway to cut their father off. Jj ran so fast he bumped into the railing and Evelyn hugged the doorframe of the bathroom.
Another gasp joined the air as Evelyn and Jj saw John’s face.
“What happened to you two?” John stopped and looked at his children as if he was concerned and confused. Knowing full well you two had done this.
Grasping Jj by the cheeks John turned his son’s face back and forth to get a good look and then turned to his daughter. John snorted at Evelyn’s fake facial hair that matched his mutton chops. You had really gotten some good detailing on the beard and you chose rectangular glasses while John went the easy route.
“It got you too.” Jj whispered as if it was unbelievable anything could sneak up on his father. John snorted a laugh out indignantly. Then he paused to think for a second and who his wife really was dawned on him.
“What!” John barked and stepped into the bathroom to see a circular glasses drawn on his face. John almost shouted your name for doing this. You roped him into this prank in the first place and you double crossed him.
At this point you had ditched the couch and walked to the top of the stairs. You played it cool knowing this was something you couldn’t crack about. It was like ruining Santa for your children you needed to be straight faced.
“What’s going on?” You asked, all eyes turning to you.
John gave you ‘that’ look that meant he was going to ream you later. You bashfully smiled and he only turned quickly to go get your crying baby.
“Why didn’t the elf, I mean Alfie, get you?” Evelyn asked. She ran over to you and hugged you around your waist.
“It’s cuz mum knows how to behave properly.” Jj said simply. It took every fiber of your being to not hysterically laugh and pretend to be concerned. It felt like a match of poker and you had to keep a straight face in a tense moments like this.
“IT EVEN GOT BABY LILY!” Evelyn shouted. Small hand outstretched as she pointed at her little sister in John’s arms.
“What?” You asked a bit confused and then looked up to see John exiting the nursery with your 11 month old daughter. She had circular glasses drawn on her chubby face and a purple unibrow.
“You-I mean Alfie drew on our babies face!” You shouted. You breathed in quick and fast through your nose. Eyes starring daggers at John.
“That elf needs to go.” Jj reasoned to everyone. Looking around Jj shook his head as if he made up his mind for everyone.
“If we get rid of him he could do worse!” Evelyn reasoned with her older brother. The two began to talk and worry about how Jj threw the elf in the trash.
John walked by them with your freshly changed baby girl in his arms, who was ready to breast feed. Lily was tugging on John’s t-shirt and leaving wet marks searching for a nipple. As soon as John was in arms length your fake smile faded. Jj and Evelyn disappeared back into the bathroom to grab the elf as John stood next to you at the top of the stairs. You snagged John by the collar of his shirt and pulled him so you were quietly hissing in his ear.
“You drew on our babies face!” You quietly shouted at him. Your blood was boiling. Lily wasn’t even a year yet and John thought this was okay.
“You said to draw on the ‘kids’ faces. How was I suppose to know you didn’t mean Lily?” John matched your hushed shout and looked down at you very confused. Then he saw you were actually angry and he was ready to backtrack.
“Easy, John. Did Lily hide your shoes in the dryer? Or maybe she was the one to put formula in your shampoo?” The tone of your voice was volatile and John only stood up straight with a fussy Lily in his arms.
“Let’s call it even since you drew on my face.” John practically snorted a laugh at you.
You could see he was joking that he was actually annoyed by you doing that. Lily lunged at you and you quickly took your baby girl. Without looking at John you pulled down your tank top and began breast feeding. Looking up you could see John trying not to laugh at the sight of your baby breast feeding with purple circular glasses drawn on her face.
“It pretty funny.” John croaked and then started to belly laugh seeing his baby like this in your arms.
John was laughing so hard you couldn’t even be mad. It was the the first time you watched him crack into his normal self since he’d gotten home and nothing could get you to feel anything but grateful. Your husband had settled back into his normal self and you loved it. John was home and it was thanks to your daughter’s pranks influencing you two to be mischievous.
“Fine, we’re even.” You said with a soft smile.
472 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 5 months
Note
Task force 141 reacting to their very pregnant wife still trying to clean, cook etc
This turned more into ‘Task force 141 preventing their very pregnant wife from trying to clean, cook, etc’ lmaooooo I hope that's alright
Price
HA! Good one!
No seriously, it's actually hilarious that you think you'd do anything for yourself when your hubby's around
That man has been waiting on you hand and foot since you first got together. So now that you're pregnant and you think he'd let you so much as lift a finger? You must have a serious case of pregnancy brain, sweetheart
Price is doing all the cooking, the cleaning, the running errands, etc. throughout the entirety of your pregnancy (and at least the first several months postpartum)
He's kept you practically bed bound these last few months to the point where you think there's a perfect indent of your body molded into the mattress
Seven months in, he's suddenly called away to a quick mission halfway across the globe, and you think finally you'll get some of your autonomy back...
Well, think again because who should show up at your door the next morning than your mother-in-law herself, ready to pick up where her son left off
She came at the behest of your husband, of course, and was armed with a detailed set of care instructions
What does your husband think you are? Some sort of one-of-a-kind, priceless artifact that needs special handling? (Actually that's exactly what you are. Price-less… I'll see myself out 🚶🏻‍♀️)
Ghost
When it comes to having some semblance of independence during your pregnancy, Ghost will give you a bit of a longer leash than Price, but only just so
You’re going for a walk around the neighborhood? Hold on, let him grab his coat to join you. Or you're going into the backyard to tend the garden? He'll pull the weeds while you water the plants
But when it comes to letting you do certain things, there are some hard nos that he will absolutely not budge on
You try to use a stepladder to reach the top of the cupboard? Stop! You'll break your neck! You try to pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds? Stop! Give it here! You try to drive?... Don't even fuckin' think about it, precious.
The farther along your pregnancy progresses, the better he gets at predicting (and intercepting) your next move
You were gonna do laundry today? Well, wouldn't you know, he's already got a load going in the washer. You were about to make dinner? Well shucks, he just ordered takeaway from that Greek place you love
His ability to read your mind is honestly impressive once you get past how damn annoying you find it. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you're incapable of fending for yourself, and you're tired of him acting as if otherwise
But really, you can never get mad at anything he does for you. After all, what kind of a husband would he be if he didn't take care of his missus and your little one?
Soap
If you take Ghost’s cautiousness, mix it with Price��s thoroughness, and crank it up to an 11, you get Soap
From the moment he found out you were pregnant, he put your house into full lockdown mode, stopping just short of booby trapping the front door in case you got any funny ideas
You want some fresh air? Just open a window. You want to go for a walk and stretch your legs? Just take a few turns about the living room like you're some Austenian heroine
Don't let him catch you doing any kind of physical labor, because so help him Jesus he will grab a spray bottle and use it like you're a feral alleycat he's trying to house-train (he wouldn't really... but don't test him)
You try to unload the dishwasher? Ehrr! Wrong move. You try to remake the bed? Ehrr! Nice try. You try to mop up your own mess. Ehrr! Enough already. You try to– OCH, WOULD YE BLOODY SIT DOWN, WOMAN?!
For nine long months during his requested leave from work, your husband is attached to you like some kind of loving, smothering barnacle
But doesn't he miss his job, or the lads for that matter? What if the world needs saving? What will they do without him?
Well, (in his exact words) fuck the rest of the world! You're his world, bonnie, and he'll give you everything you could ever wish for and then some
Gaz
By far, you have the most independence with Gaz than you would with any of the other three men… at least, at the beginning of your pregnancy, that is
Once you get to around five or six months he becomes just as helicopter-y as all the others; he's just ever so slightly more bearable, perhaps
There's lots of peeking his head around the corner to check on you throughout the day or appearing seemingly out of thin air whenever you're doing something he'd rather you wouldn't
You've lost count of the number of times you've been in the middle of cooking or hanging up the laundry or whatever and his hand has suddenly appeared out of nowhere, gently taking the object from you before directing you to sit and rest
And like, look. He knows you can handle yourself. He knows you could conquer the whole world if you wanted to. That's one of the things he loves about you the most
But seeing you like this – so fragile, so vulnerable, so beautiful and soft and pregnant with his child; his child – it just… It makes him…
He just needs to do these things for you, alright, love? Just let him take care of you, please? Would you let him do that?
You already have so much you have to carry. Let him ease some of the burden off your shoulders. Let him do these small things for you because they don't even compare to all that you're doing for him 🥲
14K notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 5 months
Text
someone threw me into harry potter again and it’s got me thinking about blaise zambini’s twin sister that grew up in america.
her name’s probably something like scarlet
correlated but like not really
when their mom and dad separated blaise stayed with his mom in london and she went with her dad to new york
she saw blaise every christmas and new years (and he came to ny every random thursday in november after she begged her dad to celebrate thanksgiving cause she’d heard around school)
she went to ilvermorny cause obviously she did, this is hp fanfiction
she was a proud thunderbird before her dad decided that she needed to go back to london
now she’s at howarts, is with her brother as a slytherin with her brother
and has every slytherin boy wrapped around her finger
(and paying for her nails cause that shit’s expensive)
33 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 5 months
Text
my momma did her one with this mac and cheese
0 notes
xxplaugexx · 6 months
Text
EXCUSE YOU?!!
Guys I think I lost my mind a little and have spent too much time on TikTok. Sorry not sorry
Nanami and Tiana (headcannons)
Fluff!!
Tumblr media
Tiana’s Place took a lot out of her at the beginning, she often felt was something was missing in her life and was tired more often than not.
She had a curse sitting on her back but she put a smile on her face and served everyone with happiness and good food. Nanami, a reserved office worker, stumbled upon her restaurant one late afternoon by the smell of the rich gumbo.
Tiana was an outgoing and warm person, but Nanami was an introvert to the max. He remained indifferent but noticed the curse. He wanted to say something but he thought it mustn’t have hurt as she didn’t seem tired at all.
Despite his initial coldness, Tiana is persistent and continued to engage and talk to him until his guarded front falls.
Eventually, Nanami began to open up, talking about his love for cafe hopping and going to good restaurants.
Tiana invites Nanami to join her in the kitchen to learn about her family's recipes, while leaning about her families recipes he decided to do something about her curse. He made up an excuse about a thank you and asked to massage her back as it looked tense.
She grew warm and turned around, nodding shyly. His skilled hands worked their magic, easing away the knots of stress that had built up over the day. Nanami told her to close her eyes. He got his weapon and cut down the curse with one fell swoop.
Tiana had never been so relaxed in her entire life. Eventually, they had spent so much time together that understood each other without a single word.
Their relationship blossomed, with Tiana's warmth and Nanami’s appreciation for her and her restaurant. Together, they eventually got married and he became a househusband for her.
1K notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 6 months
Text
the things i’d do for nanami kento (i’ve never seen jjk)
19 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 7 months
Text
STOP NEIL LOOKED SO PRETTY😭😭
Tumblr media
38 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 7 months
Text
😦
Tumblr media
Height... difference..
506 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
happy outbreak day 💔
(not my gif)
9 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 7 months
Text
adding to this
alejandro likes latinas
rudy does too but he prefers morenas 😏 (my man fr)
I’m gonna say this once and y’all are gonna sit down and take it.
Keegan likes black women.
Ghost prefers white girls.
Soap will date anything anyone.
Price likes black women.
König does too.
Gaz will also date anyone.
Horangi is fine on his own (is in love with König.)
thank you for coming to my ted talk 👍🏾
40 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 7 months
Text
I’m gonna say this once and y’all are gonna sit down and take it.
Keegan likes black women.
Ghost prefers white girls.
Soap will date anything anyone.
Price likes black women.
König does too.
Gaz will also date anyone.
Horangi is fine on his own (is in love with König.)
thank you for coming to my ted talk 👍🏾
40 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 7 months
Text
🙇🏽‍♀️
Tumblr media Tumblr media
PEDRO PASCAL in THE SIXTH GUN (2013)
2K notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 8 months
Text
i love him 😍
Like a Schoolboy
Summary: Dimitri and Hoppers niece are a thing. Hopper finds out.
Wordcount: 1.335
Warnings: use of (y/n), fluff
Tumblr media
"And this is my niece (y/n)."
Dimitri had blamed it then on the stress of the last few weeks. He hadn't given it a second thought. A survival instinct of the body. After all, he had expected to die not just once in the past few weeks.
A reproductive instinct. That was all it was, why he was immediately attracted to this much younger creature.
It probably wasn't even that far from the truth, but it just wasn't the whole truth either.
(Y/n) Hopper had done it to him. First purely out of physical attraction. Later for other reasons.
He had met her. He had seen the stubbornness in her. The same as in Hopper, only better hidden. Had recognized her intelligence. Not so hidden as in Hopper. He had found kindness and tenderness, as well as strength.
She had helped him settle into this new world. She had been a friend to him. She had even given him a home. Hopper's place had gotten crowded, when Joyce and the kids moved in, so Dimitri had ended up at (Y/n)s place.
And now Dimitri was laying here in this soft bed with her by his side, wondering how it had actually come to this.
He pulled his arm tighter around her and buried his face lazily in her hair. Breathed in her scent. He wasn't keen on the day Hopper would find out about them both. He wanted to never leave this little bubble of secrecy. He wanted to dwell in this unpolluted world of affection and infatuation. Only with her. No one else to disturb them. A little peace and quiet.
But he especially didn't want to get up.
"Not yet." he grumbled, trying to keep her from leaving the bed where he wrapped his arms tighter around her.
She laughed. "I have to go to class."
"Don't have to."
"I don't think my professor feels that way."
He grumbled. "He's an idiot anyway."
"Dimitri." she sighed with a laugh.
He pulled her close once more and breathed in her scent before letting go.
"Aren't you helping Hopper today anyway?" she asked, standing up.
He grumbled into his pillow in agreement, as he watched her get dressed with one eye. He grinned sleepily at the sight of the bruise on her shoulder.
"I thought you enjoyed beating up the rookie cops.", she grinned, tossing him one of his shirts. It hit him square in the face. He didn't bother to pull it off his head.
He grumbled. "I just get to explain.", he spoke through the cotton.
"About that jackass last time?"
"Da."
Dimitri didn't really need to prove to this greenhorn that he had no idea, but he had seen fit to bring him back down to earth. He was helping Hopper teach the new police students hand-to-hand combat techniques. The greenhorn was strutting around like a puffed-up rooster.
But with a broken jaw, it was hard to talk.
"It would have been different in Russia."
He felt the mattress beside him lower. The shirt was brushed off his face. (Y/n) smiled at him. "America takes the fun out of everything.", she grinned, brushing his hair out of his forehead.
He leaned slightly toward her touch. Enjoyed the tenderness.
"Come on. Get up."
"What do I get in return?"
She kissed him on the tip of his nose.
"Not very convincing.", he murmured with a smile. She grinned back and kissed him on the forehead.
"Colder."
A kiss on the cheek.
"A little warmer."
He reached for her face and pulled it to him. Kissed her on the lips without haste. Just her and him and-
"Dimitri get your ass out here!"
-Hopper.
He dropped his head into the pillow with an annoyed groan. There was an emphatic pounding on the apartment door.
"I'll get it!", laughed (Y/n).
Dimitri pulled his T-shirt over his head as he also heard Hopper walking down the hall. Dimitri had barely fished his underpants off the floor and put them on when Hopper was suddenly standing in front of him.
Time stood still for a few seconds. Hopper stared at him. Dimitri stared back. The waistband of his underpants still in his hands.
"What are you doing here?" asked Hopper tensely.
"I... live here.", Dimitri answered dryly.
"What are you doing in my niece's bed?" he now asked again.
(Y/n) stood uncertainly in the doorway."The folding sofa is broken. Doesn't extend right anymore, you know..."
Hopper turned his face to her angrily. She put on an unconvincing smile.
It didn't help anyway. No one who saw this room could even draw wrong conclusions.
The sheets were rumpled. So were Dimitri and (y/n). Their clothes lay scattered on the floor and Dimitri knew for a fact that he had at least two dark spots on his neck. His little vampire had taken hold again.
Dimitri stood up with a sigh. "Go ahead. Hit it."
No moment he had uttered the words, his friend's hook threw him back onto the bed.
"Uncle!" he heard (Y/n) exclaim.
"She's my niece!" roared Hopper, throwing another punch.
"I know!" groaned Dimitri.
"Uncle!"
"You're my age!" Punch.
"I know."
"You touched her." Punch.
"Yeah."
"You fucking-"
"UNCLE!"
Dimitri saw (Y/n) clinging to Hoppers arm, trying to stop him.
"(Y/n) he did-" Hopper began, but was interrupted by (Y/n).
"Didn't do anything I wouldn't have let him do!"
"That's not the point!"
(Y/n) looked at him wearily. "Stop hitting him."
"No!"
"Let us settle this.", Dimitri interjected, smiling at her as best as his face would allow.
"By beating each other to a pulp?"
"Is the Russian way." he shrugged. "Gotta get it all out once. Deserved it."
(Y/n) stood in front of the bed and pinched the root of her nose. "Fine. I'm off to college." She reached for her bag. "When I come back, he better just have a few bruises or I swear to you BOTH, that Russian prison was shit compared to what I'm doing to you."
She gave Dimitri a hard kiss on the forehead and punched Hopper on the shoulder before whistling out of the room.
They both looked after her.
"Your niece is really something."
"Yes she is.", Hopper agreed with him.
Dimitri looked toward the bedroom door with a smile as the next punch hit him. "She's twenty years younger!"
"I know."
When (Y/n) came back that afternoon, both men were sitting on the supposedly broken folding sofa.
Both were holding a beer. Dimitri had a package of frozen peas pressed on his forehead.
"I don't know. Somehow it all started there.", Dimitri said, taking a sip from his beer bottle.
"What started?" asked Hopper.
"That I really fell in love with her.", he sighed.
"In love, huh?"
"Like a schoolboy."
"Women... Do with you what they want."
"True words."
They both toasted to each other, when they noticed (Y/n).
(Y/n) tossed Dimitri a tube of salve. "For the bruises.", she explained.
He reached for the small tube and looked at it closely.
"Are you guys done?"
Hopper held up his bottle. "Reconciliation beer." He excreted the rest and set the can down. "I've got to go anyway. It's waffle night.", he declared and left, not without hugging (Y/n) once more.
"Waffle night?" asked Dimirti.
"Eleven loves waffles more than anything. It's kind of her thing.", (Y/n) explained, reaching for the small tube. She squeezed some of the translucent mass onto her fingers and leaned over him. He dropped his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. (Y/n) tenderly spread the ointment on the bruises. Dimitri heaved a sigh at the cool sensation.
"In love, huh?" asked (Y/n) into the silence.
"Like a schoolboy.", Dmitri confirmed without looking at her.
(Y/n) smiled and kissed him softly on his bruised lips. "Love you too. You stubborn, Russian idiot."
"Your stubborn Russian idiot."
97 notes · View notes
xxplaugexx · 9 months
Text
so real for this….😔
i will not be at peace until tumblr writers post more dimitri fics
Tumblr media
i need him
142 notes · View notes