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I admit, I was afraid to love. Not just love, but to love her. For she was a stunning mystery. She carried things deep inside her that no one has yet to understand, and I, I was afraid to fail, like the others. She was the ocean and i was just a boy who loved the waves but was completely terrified to swim.

Christopher Poindexter (via wordsnquotes)

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Untamed

I’ve always been taught to diminish myself into something I’m not, I’ve been taught not to take too much space; been taught shame before I’ve been taught to speak.

“Lower your voice” “Tone down your laugh” “Close your legs” “Cover yourself” “Don’t be too strong boys don’t like that” “Don’t be too much”

I’ve always been taming myself down.

Taming down my laughter so I wouldn’t be called a whore.

Taming down my voice so I wouldn’t scare you.

Taming down my opinions so I wouldn’t seem less of a girl.

Taming down my feelings when I’m angry at god.

But I will not tame myself down anymore.

I will not be scared to speak up, you will be scared of my voice.

I will exist fearlessly and loudly.

I will strive to be more not less.

I will strive to grow.

I will not be ashamed of existing.

I will not apologise for being a woman.

#self written #my writing #my piece #my work #my words #writing #spilled writing #writers on tumblr #words #spilled work #spilled poetry #poetry #poems #poets on tumblr #art #my art

[paperpas]

MuhammadSmiry

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“ما فائدة أن تحبني كثيراً ولا تفهمني، تفتقدني ولا تبحث عني؛ أن أكون ضمن أشيائك ولا أكون أهمها؟”

what’s the point of you loving me a lot but not understanding me, missing me but not searching for me; of me being a part of your life but not the most important one?

[paperpas]

Too Much

People think I’m too much when I barely show what I am;

When I say hi I mean I’ve been thinking about you lately but I’m too shy to admit it

When I say how are you I mean I am so worried the world is making a mess out of the beauty inside you

When I say I miss you I mean oh god I need to hug you right now

When I say I love you I mean I would live for you even though it’s consuming every bit of me

When I say I need you I mean I need to know that you’ll live for me too, that you’ll hold my hands even though yours are shaking

When I say I’m okay I mean I’m not please see through me, please ask again

When I say I’m sad I mean my depression is a dark hole with arms that drags me inside, I mean my heart is the heaviest empty thing I ever had to carry

When I say I’m lost I mean I’m tired of searching for home everywhere when it should be within

When I say I’m tired I mean I can’t do it anymore, I can’t fight the arms dragging me down

And when I say I’m sorry I mean please understand that I am trying my best not to be too much.

#self written #my writing #my piece #my words #written piece #writing #writers #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #poetry #poems #spilled poetry #spilled writing #spilled words #words #art #my art

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People need to be encouraged. People need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. People need to be believed in– told that they are brave and smart and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream and more. Remind each other of this.

Stacey Jean Speer (via germmagazine)

[paperpas]

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“My self-esteem is a helium balloon that’s been in the hospital room of my dying convictions for just a little too long.” - Michael Szynal

You can listen to Michael’s poem whenever you want!

[paperpas]

Car Rides

I was never a fan of car rides.

People would always talk about how magical they are, but to me there was nothing magical about them.

All they did was make me feel dizzy and trapped.

Trapped inside this small container with people I have no interest to be this close to, with no way out other than the headphones plugged in my ears, that always managed to let me down.

They always failed to masker their voices shouting over each other, they always failed to distract me from how shaky my hands are getting because I know it's my turn next to be yelled at.

I was never a fan of car rides.

But with you there was no dizziness.

With you there was no fear.

With you it was the first time I feel free in such a small place with the wind hitting my face reminding me I'm still alive, and the music finally loud enough to masker their shouting voices playing in my head.

With you it was the first time I feel the magic of car rides I've always heard stories about, as we sang along to the music with the windows down and our hearts out.

With you it felt right.

But then again everything stopped, the magic vanished and I felt my heart sinking, as you dropped me off in front of this place I was forced to call home, when I never felt more at home than right there in the car with you.

#self written #my writing #my piece #my words #original #poetry #poems #spilled poetry #spilled writing #spilled words #writing #words #poets on tumblr #art #my art #photography #my photography #sunset #sky

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My heart has developed a kind of amnesia, where it remembers everything but itself.

Sabrina Benaim - “what i told the doctor” (via buttonpoetry)

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Beautiful.

#rudy francisco #helium #poetry #poems #slam poetry #slam poem #quotes #book quotes #words #spilled words #spilled poetry #poetry slam

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Blue

He speaks to me so softly like the sound of the sea waters sweeping the sand.

He touches my skin so gently like a smooth wind breeze that sends shivers across my body.

He sets me free like a bird fluttering in the morning sky.

He hugs me and never lets go the way the sky holds the sun until it decides to leave.

He looks at everything so fondly with his deep sparkling eyes that makes me want to dive in and see the world through them.

It makes me so mad that when he is miserable he says he is blue, because he is always blue but in the most beautiful ways possible.

He is blue but never lifeless.

He is blue like the night sky the way it makes stars shine brighter.

He is blue the way the earth wouldn't be beautiful without him.

So next time he says he is blue, I hope he is feeling as infinite as the night sky.

I hope he is feeling as strong as the sea waves that can wreck anything disturbing them.

I hope he is feeling as hopeful as the sky after rain.

I hope he is feeling as free as he makes me feel.

I hope he is feeling everything and anything but miserable.

#self written #my writing #my words #poetry #poems #spilled poetry #spilled writing #spilled words #words #written piece #writing #art #my art #photography #my photography #sky #sea #alexandria

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كان شيئاً يشبهُ الحبّ ،

هواءٌ يتكسَّرْ بين وجهين غريبين ،

و موجاً يتحجَّرْ بين صدرين قريبين

و لا أذكرها ..

و تغنّي وحدها لمساء

آخر هذا المساء ، و أنادي وردها

تذهب الأرض هباءاً حين تبكي وحدها.

[paperpas]

Suicide Note

“Stay” my mind says but my soul screams I can’t.

I can’t carry the burden of existence anymore.

I can’t stay when my home doesn’t feel like home and my body doesn’t feel like my own.

I can’t stay when my scars don’t fade but only bleed.

I can’t stay in a place where people are unkind to each other.

I can’t stay when I can’t even be kind to myself.

I can’t stay when the anchor that used to keep me steady only weighs me down now.

I can’t stay when I’m not even strong enough to lift my heart.

So when I’m gone,

Tell everyone I am sorry.

I am sorry for both my life and my death.

Tell them if they were trapped inside my body and mind they’d understand.

Tell them I tried my best.

Tell them I hate how I left too.

Tell them to dry the tears and stop reopening the wounds.

Tell them I’m not worth it.

Tell them I wished it ended differently too, I wished I could fill their hearts with colour not pain.

I wished to paint a smile on their faces not paint their lives black.

I wished to be a sweet escape in a bitter world, but I had to escape myself.

Tell them in another life maybe I will be able to.

#self written #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #spilled poetry #spilled writing #art #literature #words #my words #my art #spilled words #thoughts #written piece #writing

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“Anybody can look at you. It’s quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.” -John Green

#turtles all the way down #john green #book quotes #books #reading #quotes

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Just a Copy

I hate how the universe was set up to work, how any word that would flow from my pen someone, somewhere has wrote it before. I hate that we’re all just copies of copies. I am so mad that every little thing I ever fall in love with, someone has fallen for it before. I am so mad that every new feeling I will ever experience isn’t new after all, and someone centuries ago has felt the same way. I am so mad that I can’t own feelings, that the overwhelming euphoria that fills me up when I hear your laugh, someone feels it too. I am so mad that the unconditional love I thought only I can show to you, someone else does it better than I ever will. I hate that you’re too special to me, but to you I’m just a copy of another copy.

#self written #my writing #poetry #spilled poetry #spilled writing #spilled words #words #art #lit #literature #poem #poets on tumblr #written piece