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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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After spending so much of her life with school just coming so easy to her, it must be hard transitioning to a school life where Sophie doesn’t just know all the answers, isn’t the smartest person in class with little effort. That kind of thing is so hard to transition to, especially for naturally smart kids who don’t really have to try in school. Then they face the real world and are suddenly flailing, unsure and unused to that kind of struggle.

Exactly!! I remember when I read the first book and Sophie was super happy to have just barely passed her alchemy classes when she was the top of the top of the top in her human high school I was just like?? you're telling me she's just okay with this?

When you grow up the smart kid it becomes an entire part of your identity and how you think of yourself. It is something you think you should be, and anything less means you take it super personally like it reflects on your character and not on your performance. I remember every time I switched schools, one of my main worries was "I've gotta make sure I'm still the smart kid." Because everyone at my current school had that perception of me, but what if someone else at the next one was smarter? What if I actually wasn't the smart kid anymore and only still had the title because people were used to giving it to me? It really messes with your head, and you're telling me that Sophie entering an environment where she actively is failing so easily adjusts to getting worse grades than she ever has in her life?

When you've spent your whole life not having to try and suddenly that's not enough it is terrifying. You're just lost with no clue what to do because you never had to do anything before! And sure you know vaguely what other kids do, but you're not supposed to need that! You're the smart kid, you're not supposed to need to organize notes and make flashcards and spend time studying and memorize things, you're supposed to be smart and that would cover all your bases. And you may know that's entirely unrealistic but it's all you've ever been told before and you can't tell anyone that you're struggling because then you shatter the perception and that would be even more devastating to deal with!

Sometimes you just stop applying yourself even more so that when you start performing lower than you want and you're not longer perfect, you can just go "oh yeah I didn't even try" and you can try to avoid the fact that you don't know how to be anyone but the perfect smart kid.

Sophie may have a lot going on in her life that is more important than school, but school was the thing she was good at for her whole life. More specifically, being smart was the thing she was good at. You cannot convince me that she was so easily able to set that aside and is so okay with her performance now. Realistically, she's mentally questioning everything she knows about herself and her value as a person with each B, each C, each failed assignment. Very suddenly the thing she's good at she's no longer good at. She's not going to tell anyone this, of course, but it's there in the back of her mind when she can't figure out the answer to a question or doesn't understand a concept.

Realistically her being happy about her barely passing grades is accompanied by relief that she can at least pass, that she hasn't fallen that far, but also shame and guilt and anger at being relieved because that's not a grade she'd supposed to be celebrating! A 76 or whatever it was she got? That's not something that's supposed to be celebratory for her. But she brushes it off, because maybe if she ignores it long enough than it'll go away and she'll be the perfect, smart kid again. Because who is she if she's not smart when that was how people perceived her her whole life? Who is she outside of her intelligence?

Growing up the smart kid makes your identity being smart, so when that's suddenly not there anymore? It's devastating and terrifying, because it's like your entire sense of self just falls away and you can only watch.

Anyway, Sophie being so happy about her barely passing performances and getting not great scores on various things always strikes me as strange, because I just know that overcoming being The Smart Kid takes so much effort, and we don't see it. we don't see the internal conflict and the panic and the self-hatred and her trying to justify it and explain it away before realization comes that she can't ignore it away. It's a very minor detail, but it's something I feel she's missing that would make her experience more accurate

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc character analysis #sophie foster #quil's queries #nonsie #in case you cannot tell. i have some personal experience with the topic :)#people still think of me as The Smart Kid. i've still got the title #but hehe it is a whole whirlwind of AHHH internally #you know I think what makes it the worst is the other kids #you become this sort of...challenge #someone for them to measure themselves against #and getting a question right that you got wrong becomes a victory for them #and it really messes with you #you become this unrealistic version of yourself who can't get anything wrong in their heads #I had this one class where everyone would call me Siri because I knew so much #and it was fun. but it was also like an oh okay moment. because I was like well now I need to make sure I know everything #because I can't be siri if I don't know everything #which isn't a great mindset. loved the class but oh boy !!!#anyway any other The Smart Kid how you holding up?

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msookyspooky · 2 years

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You think billy and Stu would age nicely? Like skeet looks good for his age but billy is basically the poster boy for what not to do to prevent aging, idk (I’m asking bc terrible trilogy is coming to an end 😭)

Listen, I'm the wrong girl to ask cause I like older men. 👀👀👀

(Hide your Dad's.)

JK! I personally feel like if they were attractive in their youth, they most likely will be when they're older. I mean, come on. Look at Billy's bone structure, his lips, his nose, his eyes. That man could never apply moisturizer and he'd STILL look good.

Like Idk any teen boy worrying about his skincare routine especially in the 90s. Honestly I think sometimes we care too much and are too vain with the aging process now. I try to prevent it but if I get wrinkles in my 30s, I get wrinkles in my 30s! But we can't really judge him based on what we see of him as a teen. God knows teen me in 2010 was worshipping the sun and scrubbing my face daily with St Ives....Now I were retinal and rosehip oil everynight at 25. Things change!

And listen, most aging is genetic whether we like it or not. Looking at your parents is a good indicator. We don't know Stu's parents but Billy's Mom still looked pretty damn young for a 45- 50 yr old woman idk about Hank but I think Billy's character looked more like his Mom anyways (My hc atleast. )

As for in my story with him smoking; yeah it might age him if he don't quit. Idk some genetics are powerful af bc my Dad smoked 4 packs a day for 15 years and didn't get his first wrinkles until he was in his 40s. So I think he'll age well but he's 'rougher' than Skeet would be probably.

I was going to keep it under wraps but fuck it! This is my face claim for Billy and Stu in 2022. I'm going based off of Skeet and Matthew being in their early 40s since that's the age they're supposed to be in Scream 5 if they lived. And bc I think we age ppl way too much anyways and wanted them to look like 40 years not 50. That ten year time gap makes a difference around that age anyways.

So here they are 25 years after 1996! Honestly Skeets character in CSI is perfect if it wasn't for the burn marks later on the character gets bc sadly thats not in my fic but in my head 42 year old Billy would look like this:

Not stylish or clean cut. 25 years later and he just throws on whatever and has his hair in his fucking face still....But Riverdale, even tho Skeets closer to his 50s, is probably a better especially in the few times Skeet doesn't have as much scruff and his hair is lighter. (But eh, maybe Billy's vain and dyes his hair to cover the grey and its a shade or two darker than his natural color) Either one! Only difference is a bit more stubble and sweeping his hair back anyways 🤷🏻‍♀️ He could easily look like both version within a week of just not shaving and him smoothing his hair back with gel. Skeet aged EXTREMELY well and Billy is going to as well cause I said so 😌

And Matthew from Pool Boys or those Criminal Mind and House episodes is what I imagine Stu would look like in his 40s.

I'll tell you, they didn't play in as much from like 2007 to 2017 so it's hard to find them in their 40s!!

(Also; It's my hc Stu needs glasses and refuses to wear bifocals bc "HEs nOt olD!" and he dyes his hair regular all kinds of colors bc I mean look at him in SS and TT so he probably would dye it darker to blend in bc everyone knows Stu's blonde)

Stu is probably going to refuse to wear polos and dress shirts and still dress like he's a teen in his 40s.

As for in their 30s. They're gonna look pretty similar to what they do in TT just different hair bc they gotta hide still.

#oh no they're dilfs

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turkisherlockian · 3 years

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Books and Sins | Chapter Two [Benedict Cumberbatch AU]

Hello everyone! I'm Cer but you might remember me as @rosamundhr a.k.a. Rosamund, it was my nickname but I've changed my mind and I will use my own name Ceren, now. (Cer for short hehehe) Unfortunately I lost access to @rosamundhr so I will keep posting my stories here! I hope you enjoy it and I apologise for making you all wait for so long! Love you all, stay safe. 😸❤️

Summary: Katherine is a fan of Timothy Carlton, the writer who she knows nothing about. No photos, no interviews, no information, not even his age. And one day, a man comes into her life who claims to be her classmate from high school. But through the time, she has a gut feeling something is... Wrong.

Warnings: Mature content, self harm, violence, swearing.

Word count: 1855

Feedbacks are much appreciated and so motivating!

Chapter One

---

Katherine woke up with a weird feeling inside her chest. She was mad at herself for being like this: She could like someone so easily and fall in love with them soon after. It was not her fault though, he was really charming. Too good looking to like her back. However, she tried to convince herself that she just liked him and was attracted to him because he was a writer and well... Handsome as fuck. Not to mention his gentlemanly behaviour. Taking a deep breath, she reached out for her phone to tell her best friend about it. She didn't really have lots of friends and she never complained about it, she liked solitude.

She scolded herself for being that excited about the thought of seeing him again. He was the very first thing that was on her mind in the morning and she wanted to talk to him again. So badly.

K: Morning!

S: Morning to you too 🤣

You're texting me 'morning' since when?

K: Stop being sarcastic. Can't I be nice to my best friend?

S: Of course you can, I'm kidding. I just wondered what made you this cheerful... Or who, I should say.

K: You know who.

S: Oh do I?

K: Come on, Samantha! The man I met yesterday. I can't get him out of my mind, I don't know what happened to me but he's like... Cigarette.

S: You're smoking? Since when???

K: Of course I don't! It was just an example, idiot. Just can't get him out of my mind. What do I do?

S: Text him maybe?

You won't seem desperate, don't worry. I am sure he found you attractive as well and he might even be in love with you.

K: Okay, no need to exaggerate.

What do I say, good morning or hi?

S: It doesn't matter!

K: Okay, I'll text you later.

Are you sure I won't seem desperate?

S: JUST TEXT HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE!

K: OKAY I WILL!

S: Don't forget to tell me about it. I gotta go now, talk to you later. xxx

K: Bye! ❤️

---

There was something different about him. Did she like him because he was attractive or because he was nice to her? She had to admit that he was attractive, but there was something else in his voice, in his looks, in the way he talked. She actually found him beautiful.

Taking a deep breath, she finally decided to text him.

K: Good morning. :)

Was he still asleep? Maybe he was at work. Wait, do writers go to work? Maybe he had another job. Maybe not. Maybe he just did not want to talk to her... Why wasn't he replying?!

She sighed in frustration as she took a big sip from her coffee and burned her tongue.

B: Morning, Katherine.

How are you? :)

He finally replied after 10 minutes. She bit her lip as her heart skipped a beat, and started typing.

K: I'm good! Getting ready to go to school.

K: I mean work.

God, I'm an idiot, she thought.

K: How about you?

B: Just got out of shower, that's why I replied late by the way. Sorry about that. :)

K: I was wondering if you would like to meet again sometime.

She grinned as she bit her lip, that's what she always did when she was nervous or excited.

---

K: I would love that! When will you be free?

B:I'm always available for you.

Whenever you'd like. :)

She started squealing in excitement. What did he just say?!

K:I'm free in the afternoon.

B: Wonderful. How about the café we met?

K: Sounds good. Is 2PM okay for you?

B: Yes. I am looking forward to it, Katherine.

K: So am I. :)

I gotta go now, see you later. x

B: Have a good day. See you. x

She looked at her watch and she was 30 minutes late already. Without telling Samantha about it, she started to get ready in a hurry.

She was never late for work, so no one was upset with her being late.

---

''...And my mum said I'm out of my mind!''

Katherine just could not get him out of her mind, and she hated it. She did listen to her counselee but couldn't pay any attention, and now she was crying. She gave her a tissue, ''I understand you, Jane, and I hope telling me about it made you feel better. I know how difficult it is for you, but I have a suggestion. When I was your age, I found a way to deal with my problems: being your own counselor.'' She smiled warmly.

''My own counselor? How?'' The young girl sniffled.

''I imagined that I was told about everything I am going through, and I had to find them a way out. Think of it as if you're reading your life in third person of view. I did it for years and I still do when I don't want to tell people about my feelings. Plus, I found out that it was scientifically proven in college, so it is safe and it actually works. How does that sound?''

She wiped her tears, ''I can try...''

''So tell me, what would you say to yourself if you were someone else?''

''I think I would say that maybe..." She sniffled, "Maybe her mother wasn't feeling good as well.''

Katherine smiled, ''That's it! You are right. We all have problems that we don't want to tell the others and sometimes we might burn out on people we care about the most without being aware of it. You can ask your mother if she is feeling alright, it doesn't matter whether you are still upset with her or not; maybe you can help her as well just like you just helped yourself. That was very brave of you, in my opinion.'' She smiled wholeheartedly.

The girl who was just crying smiled and said ''Thank you very much, Miss Daelan. It's going to be the first thing I'm gonna do when I'm home.''

''You're welcome. Feel free to talk to me anytime.'' She got up to open the door for her and then left the room as well before checking her phone.

3 new messages from Samantha

S: Hey! Send screenshots!!!

Are you there?

Kath!

K: I'm sorryyyy I was late to work already and then forgot to text you.

Here you go:

*screenshots*

S: I told you that he liked you as well, he is flirting with you!

K: No he's not!

S: He adores you!

K: You are really exaggerating.

''Miss Daelan, do you have a minute?'' Katherine looked up at the principle, "Yes, Mr Brealey."

K: The principle wants to talk to me, I'll ttyl xxx

S: What did he say?

The old man opened his room's door for Katherine, she smiled and walked inside. He gestured her to sit down, "Please, have a seat." he said and closed the door. After sitting down, he cleared his throat and said "Miss Daelan, I... Erm..."

He loosened his tie, couldn't dare to look at Katherine. His cheeks were red and there was a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. The young woman frowned a little, listening to him in curiosity. "I've known you since the day you started working here and... I must say that you are the most intelligent, kind, beautiful woman I have ever seen... I can't take my eyes off you because you're an amazing woman and I... I love you."

Katherine was shocked, didn't know what to say at first. She did not feel honored at all, she was disgusted. "Excuse me? I thought you were married!"

"Yes but I don't love my wife, I'm going to divorce her soon; you must understand Miss Daelan, I love you! Please give me a chance..." And now she felt her blood boil in her veins.

"I am sorry but it's never gonna happen. I suggest you to divorce your wife as soon as possible to keep her away from an asshole like you." Katherine stood up angrily and walked towards the door, "But Miss D--" and she shut the door.

K: FUCKING HELL!

He said he loves me!

He's fucking married, Samantha!

*seen*

Are you there?

*seen*

K: I guess you are busy

I'm going home to get ready, talk to you later xxx

S: Sorry, I had to deal with a costumer

What a prick!!!

How dare he?

I want to kill him.

K: Violence is never the answer but yeah, I pity on his wife to be honest. He even has children.

ANYWAY

WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?

S: Whatever you're comfortable with. :)

K: How about a dress?

The one I wore when we last met?

S: You look so hot in it 🔥

Wear that one!

K: It covers all of my body, it's kinda tight and there's NO WAY I can look hot in it. I don't want to look pretentious anyway.

S: Anything you wear looks good on you, love!

K: Gay. 🤭

S: Shut up. Wear it!

K: LOL sorry!

I gotta go nowww

S: Tell me all about it when you're home, IF you go back home ;) Good luck!

K: I WILL and thanks! ❤️

The young woman sighed as she tried to find her keys. She was still mad at the principal and it was frustrating her.

After a short shower, she dried her hair with a towel and let her curls down on her shoulders. She wore the dress and looked in the mirror, It actually looks good, she thought. After applying some makeup and wearing her favourite her perfume, she was ready. She didn't like to wait and hated making the others wait for her as well, so she left her flat at 1:30PM. It took her 15 minutes to get to the café and she realized that she wasn't the only one who was punctual.

"Hi..." She said as she walked towards the man she couldn't get out of her mind. He was wearing a brown jumper with beige trousers and she breathed his masculine, minty cologne in. Her heart was beating faster already.

"Oh, hi, Katherine!" He stood up and for one second she didn't know what to do. Should she shake his hand or kiss his cheek? Or hug him? The young man leaned down and kissed her cheek before hugging her, she was shaking inside.

He felt her body close to his. He felt her delicate, pale skin; and her linden scent made him feel dizzy. Her arms hugged his chest and he felt her plump, beautiful breasts. He watched her dress tighten around her curves as she moved.

She was so beautiful and he could barely keep his hands to himself. He could kiss and take her right there, but didn't. He had to control himself until she submitted to him, which wasn't going to take long because it was in her blood. Submitting, obeying, and being his. He just knew it, and he was going to take what belonged to him. Katherine, belonged to him.

---

Chapter Three

Please let me know what you think! ❤️

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hankwritten · 3 years

Text

Quodlibet

Demoman/Soldier, 2k

Request for ImSorry, College

“How do you even know this guy anyway?” Jeremy asked, leaning over Jane’s back in such a intrusive distillation of his character that this particular instant could have come from any singular moment throughout the semester, right down to the mortal threat to Jane’s class project.

“Watch it, Buster! You are dangerously close to causing the greatest second dolphin extinction event since the invention of the six-pack!”

Trying to dislodge his suitemate, Jane threw his shoulder, pushing Jeremy and his grasping arms backwards and away from the fragile, pseudo-aquatic diorama.

Jeremy slid down Jane’s spine. “Fine, jeez, I wasn’t going to squish your bath toys.” He went boneless just long enough to reach the floor, then promptly popped to his feet and began looking at the aquarium from the other side. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don't know what you mean by ‘this guy’,” Jane grumbled. “This is clearly a diorama. Not a guy.”

“The guy, man,” Scout nagged, and Jane could already feel the migraine coming on. Jeremy was actually the human embodiment of head pains, to the point where sometimes Jane wondered if he had escaped from a lab that had been trying to bio-engineer the most aggravating person in existence. “This guy that’s making you go wackadoo and put like ten times more effort into a freaking GED project than anyone ever should.”

“This has nothing to do with him.” Jane put an aggressive amount of glue on his last dolphin.

“Right, sure,” Jeremy snickered. “But as soon as I said ‘guy you have a weird rivalry with’ you immediately jumped to him.” When Jane grit his teeth, Jeremy laughed again. “So what is it with you two? You didn’t get the urge to start tearing each other’s intellectual dicks off just because of some Economics of Marine Biology class, right?”

“Applied Oceanography,” Jane corrected, pointedly not looking up.

“C’mon pally, you know what I meant-”

“Hrrn nn brrdaa”

The voice of their third and final suitemate spoke up from a nearby beanbag chair, where its owner was trying to ignite a textbook with a lighter.

Jeremy looked to them, then to Jane. “Really? He plays for the Brawlers too?”

“Yes,” Jane snarled. “Mystery solved. The new power guard is in my oceanography class, and now you will shut your trap, shortstop, so that I can proceed to kick his ass in diorama making and prove that I am the superior guard.”

“That ain’t exactly a perfect chain of events, but you do you pally.” Jeremy pulled to the far end of the couch, drawing his legs into a fold. “Ain’t like, you supposed to develop deep-seated rivalries with players from other schools? Not your own?”

“If you met him, you would understand.” Jane placed some cherry bombs at the bottom of the glass tank. “Plus, he-...” Swallowing his fury, he said, “he got me moved to small guard.”

“To- what?”

“Hurmm umma,” their third put in helpfully.

Jeremy absorbed this for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Oh, oh man. There’s literally a position called small guard? That’s- that’s fucking hilarious you gotta admit.”

“I have to admit no such thing!” Jane rounded on him, diverting his attention from his precious project for the first time in over three hours. “I used to be power guard! Then some one-eyed, Scottish, lay-about, freshman comes in and thinks he can take my spot? This is betrayal of the highest order! A perversion of our constitution!”

“Mrra hudda.”

“I do not care if small guard is ‘technically a step up’,” Jane huffed. “Power guard is further to the front. That makes it better.”

“Basketball’s for chumps anyway,” Jeremy said, apparently having derived all the entertainment he’d wanted from the conversation, laying until he could reach his arms behind his head and dropping his legs in Jane’s lap. “You should try out for a real sport. But hey! Hope your little fish tank fills your inadequacy or whatever.”

“Oh it will.” Jane lowered his face to the glass, breath fogging and obscuring the magnum opus within. “It will.”

“And here you will see what happens when America finally colonizes the ocean!” Jane said to the drooling, glassy eyes of an 8am class.

They were significantly less slumberous when he threw a final cherry bomb into his demonstration, causing a chain reaction as dozens of ‘fireworks’ went off under the ocean, celebrating America’s eventual conquest. To really send the message home, he pulled the ripcord in the back, dropping a miniature stars and stripes behind the tank.

“Oorah!” he concluded.

“...Thank you Mister Doe,” the professor said. “Your time allotted for presenting is up.”

He turned and gave her a big thumbs up.

While some staff at Teufort U insisted you call them by their first names, this professor was not one of them, and it was rumored that the TA who had once dared to call her ‘Helen’ in front of her students was never seen again. However, no one could be that much of a hardass all the time; Jane was confident his project had just blown her out of the water (pun intended.)

She eyed his thumbs up with her perpetually sour face. “...That means return to your seat, Mister Doe.”

Jane picked up his aquarium and strolled jauntily back to his desk.

His good mood dissipated as soon as Tavish was announced as the next presenter. The usurper pulled his aquarium in on a cart, a sheet draped over to allow for a dramatic reveal. Dammit. Jane should have thought about dramatic reveals.

Tavish grinned at his audience, whisking away the blanket with a flourish.

“Behold!” he declared. “You’ve heard of desalination to deal with the oncoming global water shortages, but my proposal is this: a complete and total refinement. Salt water? Pah! Whiskey oceans are where it’s at.”

The tanked sloshed, full of something clearly scrumpy or scrumpy adjacent. Within the alcohol floated an awfully realistic looking octopus, expertly crafted and swishing with the tank’s movements. An eyepatch covered its left side.

“With the addition of boozed-based life forms of course, for an entirely new ecosystem.”

Jane curled his lip. Damn. He was good.

“...Mister DeGroot,” the professor said, “might I remind you that this is an alcohol free campus, regardless of any student’s legal status to drink? And, even without that, you are not currently twenty-one years of age?”

“Drinking age is sixteen in Scotland, Ma’am.”

“Sit, DeGroot.”

Tavish sat. He shot Jane a smug grin. Jane scowled.

“That concludes our presentations for today.” If the professor’s voice got any more disappointed, she could have been a ringer for a Badlands Brawlers fan. “As you know, the diorama that scores the highest marks will receive extra credit toward our upcoming final exam. I use the remainder of the class time to grade, and announce the winner shortly. Please return on the bell if you wish to receive those extra credits.”

The ‘bell’, unlike those rinky dinky little red bowl things they had in high school, was actually a proper bell tower, situated over the science building and able to be heard anywhere on campus. This was where Jane retreated to wait out his nerves, pacing around the semi-enclosed area and mulling over his chances. Fine, Tavish’s had been good. He was used to Tavish being good, the bastard, but Jane’s was better, and this time he was going to mop the floor with him.

“I am going to mop the floor with you!” he declared to the heavens.

“Not with that sad display you won’t.”

Jane jumped. A quiet moment of solitude foiled, besieged by his mortal enemy who’d somehow snuck up on him in order to lean cockily against the door to the stairs.

“My display was anything but sad.” Jane shook his fist. “It was joyous! Victorious! Other words that mean not sad!” When Tavish continued to smirk at him, he added, “plus, your idea is bad anyway.”

“Aye?” Tavish challenged. “How so?”

Dammit. Jane hadn’t thought this far. Replacing the oceans with whiskey really did seem foolproof...except…

“If there is no more water, then you can’t make other type of booze either!” he declared triumphantly.

Tavish jaw clenched. Ha! Good. Let him get angry for once.

He walked over and got right in Jane’s face. “Well what about you? How are you going to light off the fireworks underwater?”

“Oil, salt, and various temperature and pressure difference!” Jane didn’t like the other man in his space, and gave him a shove. They were always doing that to each other during practice, blocking and shoulder-checking harder than necessary, doing things that would certainly be penalties in an actual game.

“Who cares?” Tavish shoved him back. “No one’s going to see them anyway.”

Jane grabbed him by the front of the shirt and shouted, “the dolphins will! You would know that if YOU HAD BEEN PAYING ATTENTION.”

One, dangling, aggravating second stretched on, catching friction as they pressed noses and breathed heavy with the effort. Then they reacted simultaneously, lunging forward and attacking each other in mouth to mouth combat.

Jane growled furiously, trying to gain the upper hand, but Tavish was just as motivated not to let him get it. The pair of them sucked at each other’s faces, mastication muscles competing for this year’s WWE championship belt, crashing against the nearest half-wall surrounding the roof. A more wary observer might have worried about them careening over the edge, but Tavish and Jane had more pressing things on their minds. (And ‘more pressing’ was exactly how they were going to resolve it.) Just a whole mismatched ball of absolute frustration as they worked out several months of pent-up attraction.

Their combined rage might have carried them to hell and back, had the bell not struck 9am at that exact moment.

They both screamed, trying desperately to cover their ears as they hundred and fifty year old bell GONGED above them, rattling teeth inside skulls and causing tears to spring to their eyes.

“God! Why don’t they have a warning sign up? Bloody hell!” Tavish moaned, having found his way to the floor and using his beanie to futilely cover his head.

“What???” Jane, who already didn’t have a good ear at the best of times, worried briefly that he’d finally gone deaf.

“What?” Tavish asked. “I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.”

“What?”

This went on for several minutes, the two men lying on the floor of the bell tower.

When they finally staggered down to class, it was in a terribly haggard state, and new bruises around their mouths.

“Hello professor,” Tavish, the least winded of them, declared. “It’s alright, you can tell us which one was the winner now. We’ve worked out our differences, and determined to let the best man win.”

“The best man will be me, but yeah what he said!” Jane put in.

“If you’re going for flashy, maybe, but on sheer sustainability-”

“No one’s going to eat alcohol-based sushi, cyclops-”

“Enough,” the professor cut in. “Neither of you won the extra credit points.”

“What?” Tavish gaped. “But ours were the best out of anyone’s! How could we possibly lose?”

“The assignment,” she said in a clipped voice that spoke of years of dealing with the exact idiots that Teufort tended to attract, “was to create a physical display of algae chemical reactions at different levels of light and pressure as found in the oceanic zones. Not only did you not win, you have failed this project. Now, since I have a lecture in Hale Hall in fifteen minutes, I suggest you both move out of my way, otherwise you will not have the chance to recuperate those points on the final exam. Goodbye gentleman.”

She stripped the last of the grading notes off her desk, shoved them into a manila folder, and disappeared out the door.

Tavish and Jane watched her go. The minutes ticked by on the wall mounted analog clock, which probably could have told them the time just as well as the giant bell that had nearly deafened them.

“Hey,” Tavish said, elbowing Jane in the side. “I got to take Basic Intergluteal Numismatics next semester.”

“...Yeah? And?”

“Bet I can solve systematic inflation before you can.”

“Oh, you’re on son.”

#demosolly #tf2 fanfiction

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theficplug · 4 years

Text

{My Boyfriend Does My Makeup with Trevante}

{The YouTube Series}

Warnings: none , fluff

Trevante finally had some time off after his latest film had wrapped and although you were both private about your relationship. You decided to give your boos (your viewers) something special for 307k.

"Welcome to or back to my channel my boos. I have a special guest today. Everybody say hello to my boo bear. Who agreed to do the My Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge with me. Say hey baby." You say to him as he flashes his pearly whites at the camera and you can already tell you're going to have to filter the thirst comments.

"Hey , I'm uh Trevante y'all probably have seen me in a few things. If I seem like that familiar face that you can't put a name to. That's why. Also looking forward to playing some characters that don't die halfways through." He says jokingly at the end before giving a shy awkward little nod to the camera.

You take his hand in yours and nuzzle closer into his side to get him to relax a little.

"What I think a lot of people don't know is that even though he's always in front of the camera. He's also kinda shy and doesn't like a lot of attention on him, but unfortunately for you baby is that BOI WE FINNA BE ON YOUR ASS IF YOU MESS IT UP." You say jokingly as you set out all of the makeup and a little cheat sheet to tell him where everything goes.

You watch him break into a smile and throw his hands up.

"Ye of little faith. That hurts bae." He says pretending to be hurt with his hand over his heart dramatically.

"I'm only joking. I believe in you. Gimme kiss?" you ask before he pokes his lips out for you to press a soft kiss to his lips.

"Alright , I'm ready. Today we're gonna use the Fenty foundation? We're just gonna take Miss Riri's stuff and rub it in, all over the face. You don't really need a sponge or brush or any of that. That's all to get you to spend more money." He says to the camera as if he knows what he's doing.

You try to hold in your laughter while looking at the camera and shaking your head.

"You're doing good Tre. I feel prettier already. What's the next step?" You ask him as you watch him work. His tongue slightly poking out as he's concentrated on getting your face to look "right".

Sometimes you just get caught up in how beautiful and kind he is. He always takes care of you and tries his hardest to be involved in anything you're interested in.

"I feel you eyeing me while I work and lemme just say it's highly distracting ma'am. I'm a professional." He says jokingly before giving you a quick kiss. You tug at his bottom lip before kissing him again.

"SHE GETTING DEMONETIZED Y'ALL. We gotta keep it pg." He says before working his way down the little cheat sheet you've left him.

"If you poke me in my eye. I'm swinging." You say to Trevante as he grips your chin gently while trying to apply eyeliner.

"Y'all see how she be treating me? Gon beat my ass in front of all of y'all like that. Lemme stop before that's all over Twitter. Shhh, stop fidgeting let me get it right. " He says and you can feel the felt tip going past where the little flick needed to stop.

"How do I look baby?" You ask as you batting your eyelashes at him and watch his face scrunch slightly at messing it up.

"Hollup it's whopped on that side. Give me a wipe from over there please. . . You said earlier that you wanted to ask me some questions." Tre says to you not bopping along to the soft music playing in the background.

"If you could not love me in this way anymore. Do you think you could love me in a different way? Because you know how when some people break-up. It's so traumatic for them that they can't bare being around the person that they were with because the love there is different." You ask the heavy hitting question that came from an insta sticker. This man was actually a giant teddy bear and pouting at your question.

"For the record I ain't going nowhere. This man put a ring on it." You say giggling and waiting for his response.

"I love you in all ways , always. You know that. But, I'm tryna think about what you're asking. You're saying if weren't together no more. Could I still love you? Absolutely, we were friends before even getting together. When we met in the makeup trailer. I knew that you were going to be important in my life. And that I was gonna love you in some way. But I am grateful that I get to love you this way. I get to love you romantically , emotionally, spiritually, and (cover your ears kids) physically. I'm in love with you." He says before giving the camera a wink and blowing a kiss at them.

Your jaw drops slightly at his response. You could not be more in love with this man if you tried. You thought to yourself before leaning in to kiss his nose and then all over his face and finally his lips.

"Damn, I mean I think I like you or whatever." You say to his as he smacks his teeth and shakes his head while laughing at your response.

"I'm in love with you too Nemour. I only had 3 questions picked out. So here's my second one. When is the wedding? Someone on Instagram asked." You say to him as he nods

"We have a date and it's in my fiancee's favorite season and that's about all I can tell you on that. But I'm sure when it's all said and done she'll put a cute little video package together for y'all." He says as he applies highlighter to your nose and you look at him before bursting into laughter.

"Of course. I promise my boos will be included into the wedding somehow, but Y'ALL lemme bring the camera in please look at how this man got my nose looking like a Christmas ornament. We're going on a lil date right after this. I'm finna be looking shhmmooking hot." You say sarcastically and he couldn't even stay pressed as he breaks out into laughter with you.

"Okay so you're on the last part of my routine which is lips. So before you start I'll ask one last question from Twitter. It says what was our first impression of each other." You smile at the question remembering exactly what he was wearing and everything.

"Well I met you while working on the set of Predator. I was like damn okay lil chocolate drop. Can I get your number? No, but really I thought you were beautiful and funny and just like full of light. There were some early morning call times where I was just grumpy as hell and had to wake up at like 4am and have to hang off fake plane for who knows how long. But there you were in the trailer already dancing around to this one throwback song and giving everybody positive morning affirmations.

Just getting shit done too. I was just standing there watching you in your element. Your lil fro bouncing side to side as you swayed around getting all of your supplies together. And I remembered you ordered everybody breakfast with like Uber Eats or something. Your energy had me hooked from the start. I think I'm more of a morning person now because of you." He says as he picks out the lipstick color.

"You never told me that! That's so sweet boo bear. I was just trying to make everybody feel better 'cause those were some long ass hours. Trying to add all the lil scars and makeup and everything so early in the morning was a lot. But I got to spend more time with you so I wasn't complaining. My first impression of you hmmm. I think I was shocked at how beautiful you are! Wait , wait lemme explain. I've seen you before on that one Tyler Perry show as Ramsey before you got killed off. And just like when I found out you were going to be in that film. I was nervous as hell. And when you walked into the trailer with your beanie almost over your eyes and your headphones on like you were too cool for school. I knew I had to play it cool. I just like sauntered over to you and offered you a breakfast plate. It worked though. Cause you was grooving to Brandy too. After that I realized how you have the driest humor, and yet you are the funniest person I know. I mean like dad joke central with him. He be slapping his knee and everything y'all. But he could've been a whole comedian." You say to the camera and he waits for you to finish before he starts applying the deep plum shade of lipstick.

"My humor may be dry but you still be doing the scatter run when I do the Norbit voice." He says laugh softly at you already about to start wheezing.

"Done?" You ask him as he sits back admiring his work.

"I don't think I did too bad. Look" he says handing you the mirror as you look closely

"My lashes barely hanging on and my eyeliner doing the Cha Cha Slide but other than that I think it looks good. You did a good job baby." You say giving him a kiss as he smirks into it. Already getting the big head.

"I'm coming for your brand baby. Multi-talented." He says to the camera.

"Alright and with that I'mma end this video before his head gets even more inflated. I seen some juicer questions earlier but y'all there ain't no tea. We sexy but our own type of sexy. I gotta show y'all the photos from Halloween when we dressed as Marcus Burnett and Mike Lowry from Bad Boys... We're that couple." You say chuckling softly.

"Alright my boos, y'all know what to do. Like , comment , and subscribe if you want. Turn on the notification bell so you can know when your faves fave post again. Who knows I might get him to do the No Hands Kissing Challenge for 400k. And an OnlyFans video for 1 million." You say half jokingly as it flies over his head for a moment before the lightbulb goes off.

"I don't know about all that maybe 5 milli. Alright y'all , be kinder to yourselves and stay blessed. Byyyeeeee" He says in your voice as he does your outro and you couldn't wait to just wrap your arms around him and love on him.

#Trevante Rhodes #Trevante Rhodes smut #Trevante Rhodes fic #Trevante Rhodes imagine

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addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

Dating a Freak

Boaz Priestly x reader

Summary: You reminisce over the course of your amazing relationship.

Author Note: I'm so sorry this took long.

Requested by: @forest-rav3n

Word Count: 2445

The time spent with Priestly has been the best time of your life. Every day was amazing. It was filled with filled with laughter and love, and it was an adventure. It made you remember how you fell in love.

You first met when you applied for the job at Beach City Grill, with your novelty movie t-shirt and a bubbly attitude. "She's gotta pass the interview first." Piper said.

"I'm cool with that." You smiled.

"Okay then," Priestly then leaned on the counter. "Elvis. Dead or alive?"

"Easy, alive. Next question."

"You're hired." He said. You chuckled and looked at Trucker, who smiled and shrugged.

You then helped with cooking the meat, as well as baking cookies for the kids meals. Priestly would constantly make jokes to you, and you always laughed. Sometimes when he was doing one of his random debates with Trucker, you'd hype the both of them up, just to get a kick out of Priestly getting more excited and energized over whatever they were talking about.

Regulars loved you. You would always make extra cookies for the two old people who would come in, as well as the kid who came in weekly. He was an adult already, but was autistic. He looked uncomfortable when he first walked in since everybody was staring at him, so you couldn't help but smile at him and give him some cookies. He smiled back at you and would come back every Tuesday during lunch.

Sometimes guys would try to hit on you. You'd ask for their order and they'd try their best to get you to come with them after work. Usually your roll your eyes and say, "Tish, you have a customer."

Sometimes you'd just turn them down flat. Either way you handled them, it always put a smile to Priestly's face. Not that you knew.

But there was one day where Priestly wasn't at work yet, and these guys walked in. One of them tried to get you come home with him, and you told him that you weren't like that. He scoffed. "C'mon, you won't get this opportunity all the time. It's not like I'm asking for your face. You just happen to have a nice body."

You threw his order at him. "Just fucking pay and leave. Learn how to take a damn rejection."

He paid and stormed out with his friends. One of his friends stayed behind and told you, "He's right, y'know." and left.

You don't know why their words hit you so hard, but they did. What if they were right? "You alright angel?"

"Um, yeah, yeah," you said with a smile that you could barely muster up. "I just need some time alone for a bit."

You then sat in the storage room and silently cried. Priestly walked in and announced himself before asking where you were. They told him what happened and he rushed over to the storage room. He saw you on the floor, with your face in your hands. "Y/n." He kneeled down.

"Do you think I'm ugly?" Your voice was quiet, and your face was still buried in your hands.

He took away your hands from your face, and you looked up to see his worried face. "You shouldn't have to worry about artificial crap like that. You're awesome in everyway. Like the way you defend yourself from jackasses, or how you make extra cookies for the special needs kid that most people like to make fun of. What matters is that you're a pretty fucking amazing person."

You wiped your eyes and chuckled. "Thanks Priestly. You're always so good to me." You gave him a hug, which made him tense up for a up before relaxing and hugging you back.

"And to answer your question, no. I don't think you're ugly at all. You're actually think you're pretty hot." You giggled.

You then began to develop feelings for Priestly. Though you kept it to yourself, everybody else found out about it. Tish teased you about it and made comments on how it was a mystery that anyone could crush on someone as weird as him. Piper, Trucker, and Jen told you that you'd be good together and to go for it. Jen would make the occasional joke about Priestly. Zoe told you that she could sense the same feelings in Priestly as well. Though you were grateful for the support, you weren't confident in what he thought about you enough to do anything about your feelings.

Then there was the whole tampon run. You figured that he would need help and came with him. You kept making jokes when he was panicking on what to get. After you helped him pick one out, you went to grab different items while he stood in line.

You heard people making fun of him, and him retaliating with a speech about having a girlfriend and getting laid. You figured that it'd be the right thing to help him out, and although it was embarrassing for you, it was for Priestly.

You took out the hair tie in your hair, letting your hair fall down your shoulders. You tied your shirt up from the back into a crop top with the hair tie. You walked up to Priestly and gave him a long kiss on the lips. "Hey babe. Got everything?"

He looked at you with a shocked expression, but quickly recovered to get into character with you. "Yeah. I got your tampons for you."

"Aww, thanks babe. But you know I'm not on it anymore this month, right?" You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his neck.

"Hell yeah I do. Let's go home." He slapped a 20 on the counter.

"Whatever you say." You grabbed the bag of items and Priestly put and arm around your shoulder.

"Keep the change. Peace." He said before giving them the peace sign that turned into flipping them off. Once you got out of the store the both of you started laughing together. "Well now, we got ourselves an actress."

"It isn't really hard to act that way with you." You said absentmindedly, instantly regretting it. His facial expression changed a bit, and you looked down in embarrassment. Of course he'd feel weird about that. How could he even like you like that? "Um, anyways, we should head back to the grill."

As you and Priestly cleaned up that night, he tapped your shoulder gently from behind. You turned around looked up to the tall nervous looking man standing in front of you. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to ask you something important. Just, y'know, don't laugh or anything." You smiled and nodded for him to continue. "Would you, like to, accompany me on a date tonight?" He asked slowly.

"A date?" You asked. He nodded, and your lips went into a wide grin. Holy crap, Zoe was actually a witch, and you loved her for it. "I'd love to."

"Really?" He asked, smiling.

You giggled and nodded, wrapping your arms around him. "Can you give me a ride home so I can get ready?"

He put his hands on his hips and shook his head. "So lazy." He then walked outside and held the door open for you. Once you got to your house, he put his hand over you before you could leave the car. "Wear something nice."

"Like what, my cleanest hoodie?" You teased.

"As much as I'd love to see the hoodie I got you for your birthday, nah. I mean dressing like you're going to a fancy place." You nodded and kissed his cheek, walking up to your apartment number.

You put on a white long sleeved shirt and a flowy peach mini skirt. You'd never really had a reason to put this on before, but wearing it made you feel nervous on what Priestly would think of the outfit. What would he be wearing? Maybe his quilt, and the two of you would both have shirts on. Maybe he did his hair in a different style. All you knew was that you couldn't wait for him to come.

About an hour later you heard a knock at the door and excitedly ran to it. You answered it, and wasn't ready for what you saw. All of Priestly's piercings were out, and the hair color was washed off. He was wearing a nice black blazer with a light blue button up. He looked shy. "Holy shit." You laughed out.

"Would you care to accompany me on this date Miss y/l/n?" He offered his arm.

You hooked your arm into his. "Of course." He smiled and looked down. "You look very nice, by the way."

"You look gorgeous." He opened the car door for you. You smiled at him and gave his cheek a kiss before going in the car.

"You cleaned the car." You looked around.

He shrugged and smiled. "I cleaned the car."

He took you to a nice restaurant, where the two of you talked about anything and everything. Though Priestly tried to remain a civilized gentleman, his true unfiltered jokester self was shining through, and you thought it was the cutest thing ever. Afterwards the you two walked together along the beach, where he put his blazer over your shoulders and listened to you ramble on.

He then took you home and kissed your cheek. "Aren't you just adorable tonight?" You teased.

"Well, do you like me better like this?" He had a nervous smile.

You chuckled and shook your head. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Just because you dressed differently doesn't make you a different person. You're still my Priestly that always puts a smile on my face."

"Your Priestly?" His face was now covered with a wide grin.

"Well, as long as I can be your y/n." He went in for a passionate kiss. Once you pulled back for breath, you asked. "Do you wanna come in?" His facial expression changed to nervous again. "Not for that reason, dumbass. I just don't want this date to be over. I made brownies the other day." He smiled and came in.

You woke up leaning on Priestly as a pillow with the TV still on. You checked the time and saw that your shifts start in ten minutes. In a panic, you shook Priestly awake and told him about the time, hurriedly brushing your teeth and putting on your shoes. "You don't have to worry. I'm always late." He said groggily from the couch.

"Okay, just cause you're cute when your sleepy, doesn't mean we don't still gotta go to work." You said.

"Wait, I have to put on my hair color and get ready."

"Then let's go to your place real quick." You handed him his shoes and pushed him out of the apartment.

As you were driving to his house, he said, "You fell asleep on me." You turned to see his adorable smile.

"You wouldn't let me leave your arms." You smiled back.

"And you're still wearing your clothes from last night."

You looked down, still in the skirt and shirt. "Crap. Can I borrow a shirt?"

"That'd be pretty hot." You both later came in together. Priestly was wearing one of his regular outfits, and you were wearing his Tip me or DIE shirt tucked in under your skirt and a flannel. "We're here!"

Everybody stared at you while you walked behind the counter. "It's not what it looks like." You said before you went into the storage room, with the other three girls excitedly running after you.

After that you two were unbreakable. He would always make sure you were feeling loved, from a simple squeeze on your arm to a passionate kiss. And most of all, he just couldn't help but praise you.

He would try his best to make romantic dates and be a gentleman, but sometimes it was too easy to provoke his playful side. At times he would take you on regular dates, like the movies or a carnival. You would take him on dates as well, from picnics to watching one of his favorite rock bands.

You were the first one to say that you love him. You knew that he was shy when it came to his feelings, so you were okay with saying it first.

It came naturally. The two of you had waited for a while to have sex. It had to be perfect, and he didn't want you to think of your first time with him as a cheap hook up. He wanted it to mean something.

That's why when he took you to a fancy restaurant, and had a walk in the park with Priestly and you acting like children and hopping on the big stones by the walkway. He then took you back to his apartment, where the two of made love.

When you woke up the next morning, you felt him kiss the top of your head before getting off the bed. He told you that he would make you some eggs, and you rolled onto your stomach. You smiled. That's when you said it. "I love you."

He stopped in his tracks, and ran over to the bed, kneeling down. "What?!"

"I love you." You bit your lip to hold in your laugh. You knew he felt the same way, and watching his innocent looking face was almost too adorable. "Do you have something to tell me?" You joked.

He gave you the biggest smile before excitingly jumping onto the bed and smothering you with kisses. "I love you too!" He laughed out between kisses.

After a few months of bliss, Priestly had a plan. He had a plan to watch your favorite movies, to cook you dinner, and to have you feel special. He had a plan, which was in a little black box on his top drawer at home. He had a plan to ask you a question, so you two could go on amazing dates forever.

#boaz prieslty x reader #boaz priestly #ten inch hero #boaz priestly fanfiction #ten inch hero fanfiction

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one-spidey-boii · 4 years

Text

BUMMER SUMMER || peter parker; ch seven

read ch six here

masterlist

an; you guys, i hit 100 followers. that’s crazy. 100 may seem like a bitch ass number compared to other accounts, but i couldn’t be more proud. thank you!! i hope you continue to enjoy this story and leave feedback.

warnings; mentions of battle wounds (i.e. blood/scars/etc), future smut, mature language, fluff, angst, both peter and oc are 18+!!

word count; 5.1k+

edie's pov

i tried to help peter clean up, but he wasn't having any of it. so i was left to my own devices while he scrambled to get everything in order. after he leaves the room for the first time, i try to stand up. i wrap the blanket around my body and move towards to edge of the bed. everything is going just fine until i put weight onto my legs and attempt to take a step. my feet crumble beneath me and i snap a hand up to my mouth to stifle any noise that threatens to come from the pain. so for a while, i just sit. on the floor. waiting for peter to come back.

when footsteps sound off from down the hall, i brace myself for whatever reprimand i'm going to get from peter, but what comes through the door makes me sigh with relief and choke up with fear. not the kind of fear you get from jump scares or creepy noises, but the kind of fear you get when you know you've been a disappointment.

"what the hell are you doing on the floor?" tony asks as he waltzes over to help me up. his voice is unreadable. i let him wrap an arm around my upper back and lift me up onto the bed, but i'm too afraid to say anything. he pulls a chair over to sit in front of me and he rests there awaiting an answer, but i choose to avoid it altogether.

"where's peter?" i ask shyly. yeah, it's a good way to change the topic, but a part of me really does want to know.

tony raises one eyebrow and pauses to take in my features before replying, "i told the kid to stay out of the room until i got here. he's sitting in the living room like a lost puppy."

my head tilts at his words. why would he do that? wouldn't he want peter here with me?

"i wanted to talk to you without mr. parker in the room. and when i ask you this- i don't want you to think about him when you answer, got it?" i nod my head reluctantly, and he continues on with a sigh, "kid, do you wanna go home?"

"w-what? no! absolutely not." my insides tense up at the thought of being sent home after only a couple of weeks. mr. stark said he needed me here, why is he trying to send me home?

"just listen to me, okay? you've already gotten hurt for reasons i don't understand. and... i gotta be honest- i don't want to send you home, but i don't want you going back out there either."

"what happens to peter if you send me back?" my question comes out as a whisper, i want to challenge him somehow. surely he won't take this away from peter too. tony just sighs and shakes his head.

"don't worry about him right now. what we need to talk about is if you're-" i cut him off.

"you're going to send him home too." i accuse, borderline horrified at the idea, "how could you do that? you know how much this means to him." i take in a sharp breath of air as pain shoots up and down my side. it's silent for a few seconds.

"i don't want any of that. who else am i gonna have to protect all my toys?" he asks with a playful smile, but i know he's still hesitant about all of this, "i'll cut you a deal, alright?" i nod, "you don't go out until you are one hundred percent healed up. let peter handle all that. and i'm making happy stay here until you're ready to patrol again."

i immediately shake my head in protest, "happy hates babysitting! don't make him do that!" i plead, trying to pull the guilt card for happy's sake- and to be honest, i don't want anyone worrying about me and watching over my shoulder until i'm better, "peter can look after me. he got me this far." i say lightly, trying to make the situation a little less of a bummer.

tony takes in my features again, analyzing my words. he brings his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose, but to my luck he eventually nods his head.

"fine, fine. but you'll keep me updated on your recovery and only go out again when i say so, alright?" he bargains once again. this time i take his deal and nod my head with a smile. tony slaps his knees once and stands up.

"now lay back down and rest, young lady. i'll be expecting an update when you get up." tony says with a playful twinge to his words, but i know he's completely serious. before he's entirely out of the room, my mouth begins to move before i even realize it, "you know, peter does take good care of me."

i don't know why i just said that.

tony stops by the door and takes once last look around the room, "yeah, yeah," he pauses, "i know he does." and with that, he's gone.

it didn't take me long to fall asleep after mr. stark left. my body was tired and weak after working to heal as fast as it could. if only i was peter and i could heal on my own.

when i wake up, i panic slightly when i can't see anything. the light of the room is subdued and i can't even make out the ceiling above me. i move a hand to my face to find a piece of paper. it's taped to my forehead and covers my entire face. i peel it off and take in the messy handwriting scrawled across the page.

'left for patrol. mr. stark said to set out some fancy healing cream for you. it's next to your bed. he also said to leave it on for 5 minutes at most cause blah blah i don't remember why. be back before you know it -peter'

at the end of the note by his name, there's a faint 'x' next to it. the letter had been hastily erased, but my stomach jumps at the gesture. i wish he didn't feel like he had to erase it.

i fold the note carefully and set it on the cart next to my bed, next to that is the cream i assume he was talking about. i look over the text on the tube and read the directions. on the back it says something about enhanced cell regeneration, remove after five minutes, and does not diminish the appearance of scars.

i swallow thickly, nervous about applying this weird stuff to my skin. my fingers slowly twist the cap open and i squeeze a small amount onto my hand. the cream is clear and almost jelly-like as i rub it along my side. it stings at first, making me inhale with clenched teeth, but almost instantly it numbs my entire side along with my hand.

i'm afraid to keep it on my hand so i hop out of the bed and walk over to the sink to wash it off. only then does it occur to me that i hopped out of bed and walked over here. thank goodness for tony stark and his high tech, well, everything.

looking in the little mirror above the sink, i take in my tired appearance- complete with bags under my eyes and sunken cheeks. it's hard to look at myself this way, i have never fallen so low. i have never been hurt so badly before.

i just rest my now wet hands against the sides of the sink and let my head drop. i take notice i'm still in my bra and underwear, but since i'm alone at the moment i'm not worried about being seen. my cheeks do flush at the idea of peter seeing me this way, clad only in a dark purple bra and mismatched pale blue underwear.

after what feels like five minutes, i grab a hand towel and wet it under the running water of the faucet. the numbing properties of the cream are working surprisingly well- i don't feel anything as i wipe it away and wash it off.

still, my heart drops at the sight of the scar, now partially healed, but still red and angry. the line of it is jagged and violent looking. with hesitant fingers i run them along the length of it. it's horrible and ugly and for the first time in a long time- i feel ashamed. i now have to sport a scar for the rest of my life, one that i never saw coming.

i force myself to look away and tuck my hair behind my ears. my hair is riddled with sweat and it sticks to my neck, making me yearn for a shower. i let my feet carry me to the bathroom connected to my room. there i make the decision to take a bath instead when i spot the bubble bath under the sink.

after preparing everything, i slide my remaining clothes off and slip into the hot water of the tub. the bubbles are already everywhere and they easily cover the surface of the water. i close my eyes and let out a sigh.

my thoughts drift to peter, and i let myself think of him. i know something is going on inside his head, and i know it's because of me. it tugs on my heart every time he avoids or ignores me even during the slightest of encounters. i never wanted our friendship to turn into this and it bugs me beyond belief that i can't figure out why it's happening.

my eyes shoot open when i hear my name being called throughout the compound, followed by the sounds of something crashing. i sit up in the water and wait for it to stop sloshing around so that i can listen closer.

"edie?! oh my god mr. stark is going to kill me. i'll be dead by morning- edie! where are you?" it's peter, and from what i can tell he's freaking out, obviously. i let out a sigh of relief and call out to him.

"i'm in my room! it's okay, peter." the loud noises stop at my bedroom door.

"oh thank goodness. c-can i come in?" he asks, out of breath. i take in my current position— very naked and taking a bath; but covered completely by bubbles.

still a little hesitant and increasingly nervous, i call out again, "uh yeah. come in."

before the last words leave my mouth, a loud crunch and thud comes from the front of my room. i can barely see it through the crack of the bathroom door, but i know something is broken. it's silent for a hot second.

"um. oh yikes. i, uh, broke your door. not on purpose though! but it is, uh, not on the hinges anymore." he utters nervously. i can't help but laugh.

"what? who knew you were sooooo strong!" i tease, stretching out the words. some shuffling comes from my room.

"wait, where are you? what's going on?" his confused voice make me giggle. ew, giggle? really? i stifle the thought and take on a serious face.

"i'm in the bathroom, parker. stop freaking out." i reply, not at all annoyed despite my words and tone.

the shuffling behind the door stops, "you're pooping? and talking to me at the same time?" peter asks hesitantly. okay, now i’m annoyed.

"no you dipshit, im taking a bath. and everyone poops by the way, there's a children's book about it!" i yell. most of the time his innocent demeanor is endearing, but right now it's just making both of us uncomfortable.

suddenly the door creaks open wider and peter pops his head in the room, one hand covering his eyes. he still has his mask on and i roll my eyes. what is it with this boy and wearing his mask all the time?

"i just wanna make sure you're okay...a-are you okay?" he asks with a shaky voice. i can't help but smile at how nervous he is, but then again, so am i.

clearing my throat, i speak, "you can move your hand. i'm covered by, uh bubbles." peter slowly parts his fingers and peeks at me through them.

"hi." he whispers from the door.

"hi, peter." i whisper back.

he lowers his hand down to his side and steps completely into the spacious bathroom. he shuffles for a moment and decides on leaning against the doorframe with one arm up by his head. i eye him up and down, trying to get a feel for what is going through his head. he looks ridiculous standing in my bathroom, still clad in his spiderman suit that clings to his body like a second skin. it outlines the muscles in his arms, chest, and legs- truly not leaving much to the imagination. i feel my cheeks flush.

then for the second time that day, words are coming out of my mouth without my permission, "do you wanna sit?" i pull my hand out from beneath the water and tap the edge of the tub. the eyes on peter's mask widen and his arm slips from its position on the door frame. i just smile at him, despite my brain kicking me for saying anything at all.

to my surprise, he nods and settles himself on the edge of the tub down by my legs.

he whispers again, "hi."

a rush of heat floods my body at his new position and it's my turn to stutter, "hi." i'm suddenly all too aware of just how naked i am, only a thin layer of bubbles separating peter's eyes from seeing every bit of my body. and a tiny part of me doesn't hate the idea. an even smaller part wonders if peter is thinking the same thing.

"i'm glad you're okay." he says, a soft confidence laced within his words. his hand comes up to rest by my shoulder on the tub, just barely touching my skin. i nod my head and look down at the suddenly very interesting bubbles. i forgot that peter was the one who caught me when i fell in through the doors. he was the one to take care of me while we waited for mr. stark to arrive. he was the one who had to watch me bleed. with that thought, i look back up at him and gently rest my head on his hand, happy to find his eyes on mine.

"take your mask off peter." i whisper, still feeling foggy inside my head.

he shakes his head, "no."

"no?" my eyes widen at his words.

"no, e."

"come on, pete. it's not like i haven't see you before. what's the big deal?" as i say this i lean up in the water and stretch my hand to graze the edge of his mask. just as i'm about to pull it upwards and off his head, peter grabs my wrist roughly and holds it in his hand.

"if i take my mask off, all of this becomes much more real...and i don't want to see you like this." he says and looks away from my gaze. my stomach drops and i pull my hand away from his grip. all the comfort and confidence is instantly replaced with horrible, ugly nerves.

"what do you mean 'like this'? what- you can't look at me now? is it the scar? or is it because i invited you in and god forbid i'm naked under all these fucking bubbles? you didn't have you come in here, parker." my heart hurts and i spit out his name like it's venom on my lips. i can't stop my mind from reeling. peter looks at me and scoffs.

"you really don't get it, do you?" he questions as he stands up from his spot.

i sit up farther in the water, eyes glaring into his, "get what?"

his eyes widen as he rushes to put both his hands on my shoulders, shoving me back down into the water with unnecessary force. my head hits the back wall as water sloshes out of the tub, "for fucks sake, edie, cover yourself up!" his voice booms and i stay put. then it dawns on me. does he think-?

"i wasn't trying to-" i plead but he cuts me off.

"it's not that i don't want- fuck!" he pulls his mask off his head and stares at me with fiery eyes, "i do want to..." then he makes a growling noise that comes from the back of his throat, "what do you want me to say? what am i supposed to think coming in here?" he rambles on. i draw my eyebrows together and sink down into the water even more.

"i wasn't trying anything, peter. i-i'm sorry if you got the wrong idea," i whisper, defeated by how this whole thing is turning out. my head throbs from hitting the wall of the tub and my heart hurts from peter's words.

"yeah. okay, edie. i'll see you in the morning." and with that, he walks out of the bathroom, leaving his mask on the edge of the sink, the eyes glaring back at me.

my vision becomes blurry. just the idea of him thinking those things about me is enough to make me shut down completely. i stand up and step out of the tub, bubbles still clinging to my body. i walk over to the full-length mirror and my eyes lock on the scar. it looks the same as before, ugly, and a single tear runs down my chin.

peter's pov

i'm so unbelievably angry with myself. i can feel every part of my body on fire due to the complete and utter rage coursing through it. when people say they're so angry they see red, they aren't lying. there’s no way to erase what just happened between edie and i. the look on her face and the fast beat of her heart will forever be burned into my head. but above all my anger, that one thing i feel the most, is fear.

the fear i’ve ruined my relationship with edie all together because i'm too much of a coward to speak the truth. the fear that she now sees me as someone who would think those awful and cruel things about her. the fear that she thinks i don't want her just because of a scar.

none of it is true. sitting there, inches from her body made my head spin and my heart jump around my chest. i wanted to touch her, to feel her soft skin underneath my fingers as they danced down her neck and shoulders. instead, i panicked and said things so far from the truth.

i discard my suit and stand in the annoying thong that mr. stark insisted i wear to avoid having a visible panty line. he said it would be more embarrassing to have that than wear a goddamn thong. whatever, it doesn't even matter now. my brain is practically swimming in my head and making me sick to my stomach. i strip completely and prepare myself for a cold shower.

the next morning is quiet. i wake up earlier than usual for no good reason. maybe my brain just doesn't wanna give me the satisfaction of sleep. i step out of bed and tug a pair of sweatpants on over my hips along with a white t-shirt over my head. taking a deep breath, i make my way to the kitchen for some sort of breakfast, coming up with toast and a glass of orange juice.

my thoughts drift to edie, probably fast asleep in her bed. i hope she got to sleep last night, after everything that happened. that's the least she deserves.

something in my gut twists and i'm overwhelmed with the need to do something about this shitty situation. i'm fucking tired of walking on eggshells and making things worse, none of this is worth it.

with a deep breath, i allow my feet to carry me across the hardwood floors to edie's room with a glass of orange juice in my hand. the door is still off the hinges from when i ripped off accidentally. and there she is, sitting on her bed with a book in her hands. she looks peaceful and for a second it loosens the knot in my chest.

i clear my throat, "orange juice?" i extend my hand with the glass towards her.

her head snaps up and she meets my gaze. with an unreadable expression on her face, she sets the book down in her lap and gently closes the cover. my arm starts to shake from holding it still for too long and i pull it back to my chest. her head tilts the slightest bit at me, her eyes wandering over my body.

i shiver under her watch, suddenly extremely self-conscious about my clothes and my hair and the small pimple forming on my chin and-

"will you go to the store and get me some paint?" she asks, her question throws me off, "i can't stand these blank walls anymore. i'm thinking a soft yellow color will do just fine," she finishes. i bob my mouth like a fish and can only nod my head at her.

before i go to leave the room, she makes one more request, "leave the orange juice?” there is the smallest hint of a smile on her lips, and that’s enough for me.

edie's pov

when peter got back from the store, i had just finished the book i started last night. with no intention of sleeping, i pulled it out of the suitcase i had yet to unpack and got comfortable on the bed. just as i set it down, peter skid to a halt right outside my doorframe.

out of breath, he says, "i got two gallons of paint and a couple of brushes and those wheely things and...uh here." he holds the buckets of paint and bags out in front of him.

i smile at the boy. after last night's events, i've come to a conclusion; everything that happened up to that point was just a weird fluke in our friendship. all the strange feelings and awkward glances could be boiled down to one thing; us being alone in the compound. it was just hormonal teenage tendencies and it's truly nothing to worry about. every one of my feelings were just the result of built up emotions that showed themselves in weird ways. things can go back to normal now.

"thanks, pete. could you help me pull the bed away from the wall?" i chirp at him. for a second it seems like he's frozen in place, then a smile spreads across his face and he lets out a breathy little laugh.

"uh, yeah. of course." he replies and grasps the opposite side of the bed that i'm on. with a simple tug, the frame scrapes across the floor and comes to rest in the middle of the room. we both stand up straight and his eyes meet mine, he smiles wider.

"alrighty, let's get going then, yeah?" i huff out. with that, we each pour out paint into our respective pans and get to work. i take the south two walls and peter claims the north. i find myself enjoying the silence that falls between us.

every once in a while, i feel his eyes on me. i know when the other side of the room is completely silent, he's watching me. it doesn't bother me, i know he must feel bad about last night. that person wasn't peter and i know that. i just hope he'll forgive himself.

when i get to the parts of the wall i can't reach, i drag a stool in from the kitchen to stand on. unfortunately, it isn't enough height to allow me access to the top of the high ceiling. with a huff, i hop down and look around my room for something else to use. peter has turned his attention back to his side of the room and seems to be having a much easier time reaching the top, he’s much farther along than i am too.

after finding nothing else that could help, i climb back up on the stool and stand on my tiptoes, stretching as far as i can, giving me just enough height to get the job done. i smile at my victory and continue with a sense of pride. throughout this whole time, not one thought drifted to the scar on my side.

peter's pov

she looks beautiful, her frame stretching to reach the remaining white spots on the wall. i just finished the first coat on my side of the room when i set my paint roller down and stand back to admire her. the cotton fabric of her shirt is riding up her side, showing enough skin to let me see a part of her scar. i haven't seen it since it was first being mended back together by the fancy laser pen. it looks a lot better than it did, without the blood and all.

yet, it's still hard to look at. the line of it stretches along a good portion of her body. the marred skin still red and bruises are starting to form around the edges. my mind flashes back to the feeling of her in my arms when she collapsed, then to the sight of her in the tub. two contrasting events that made my feelings for her change.

edie's pov

"gotcha bitch!" i yell in triumph as i finally reach a part of the wall i was working on longer than i'd like to admit. the victory doesn't last long though as i survey the remaining sections of white. hiding my annoyance, i hop off the stool and move it to a new area, heart set on staying positive during these...trying times.

i'm back to painting for a few minutes and the other side of the room has gone silent again. i try to hide the small smirk that creeps along my lips, knowing what the silence entails. i know i vowed to forget everything that happened last night, but i'm growing to like the new attention from peter, whatever it may mean. i continue painting.

warm fingers brush against my exposed side and my body flinches at the contact, causing the wandering fingers to pull back. i squeeze my eyes shut and lower my hand holding the paintbrush. i don't want to turn my head. i don't want to move at all, but knowing the fingers belong to peter gives me a sense of relief, he's just curious. so i let him be.

peter slowly lifts my shirt ever so slightly and places one finger at the top of my scar, right under my ribcage. he drags it down along the jagged line, slow enough i'm not even sure it’s actually happening. his fingers feel nice on my hot skin, making my body shiver. he continues to run a single finger around the outline of the wound. every time he reaches my hip, his touch lingers just the tiniest bit longer.

this is okay. he's just curious. it isn't scary, it's...nice.

when he presses his lips to my skin, my heart explodes. i want to stop him, to tell him he doesn't have to do this. he doesn't have to touch me this way. i don't want him to touch me this way.

oh, but that would be a lie.

"peter..." i whisper, hands shaking along with my legs that still stand on the stool.

he trails soft, wet kisses down my side and hums a 'yes' at the sound of his name. each kiss is placed delicately on the edge of the scar, following the sharp line of it.

"what are you...?" i trail off when he lets out a soft hush between kisses. my head is reeling and my heart is beating faster than i ever thought possible. once peter reaches my hip, i force myself to slowly turn my body towards him. he's now eye level with my torso and i tentatively slide my fingers through his soft hair. he tilts his head up to look at me with his warm brown eyes. he wraps his arms around my body hesitantly and rests his hands on the small of my back.

"hi." he whispers sheepishly.

i let out a sound that can only be described as a sad laugh that got caught in my throat. i'm simply beyond words as i just stare down at the sweet boy with the widest, brightest smile i can manage. he breaks our gaze and peppers more kisses across my stomach. his touch is so gentle, so soft and careful.

"so so beautiful," he mumbles each word between every perfectly placed kiss. his lips linger in all the right spots, igniting a fire in my belly- among other places. the feeling is intoxicating. he is intoxicating. i want more. more of him and his sweet words.

i grab his fingers and thread them through my own. his lips break away from my skin and he peers up at me again, the smallest smile on his face. he takes my hands and wraps them around his neck, then he does something that throws me off my feet, literally. his hands slide down my body to take hold of my thighs and with one quick motions he lifts my feet off of the stool, making a gasp rise from my throat. peter lowers me down to his level and taps my legs with his fingers, whispering a soft come here, prompting me to wrap them around his waist.

i suck in a deep breath, staring into his dark eyes, "what is going on?" i ask in disbelief. he lets out a deep chuckle and kisses my forehead as he simply shakes his head. i furrow my brows at him.

he carries me over to the bed, still in the middle of the room and sits down on the edge, holding me tight in his lap. i'm in awe at his strength. and the way he treats me like the most precious thing in the world. peter leans forward and rests his forehead against mine. after a few long seconds, he whispers gentle words against my lips,

“i’ve wanted to do this ever since we got to this stupid compound.”

|| taglist; @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @whycantileaveyou @lovewolfspirit @kitykatnumber

let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist :))

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mgares · 3 years

Text

HOW TO BUY A HOUSE - IN 3 EASY STEPS

There is a lot of confusion out there about how to become a Homeowner so I thought I would take a moment and put it into Average Joe speak. That, and in my experience, some people go about it totally backwards which is counter productive to the end goal.

STEP 1. - ASSESS YOUR FINANCES

This is fairly simple. Eliminate non-essentials from your spending budget and stick it in the piggy bank. Modify spending habits to generate savings. Make short-term lifestyle changes.

It's just temporary and if canceling monthly memberships (Netflix, Gyms, Any Subscriptions), adjusting your shopping habits [I got some great tips for this], or eliminating other non-essential spending allows you to keep more money in your pocket to get a home versus flushing rent dollars down the proverbial toilet? Bit of a no-brainer if you ask me.

Bottom line is you have to have money ready-to-hand for the transaction. Even with the "zero down" options like VA and some USDA loans; just to name a couple.

There are inspections, appraisals, escrow funds, repairs, home warranty policies, property taxes, closing costs, and other such considerations that must be paid in order to get a home of your own.

"Do Not Save What Is Left After Spending; Instead Spend What is Left After Saving" - Warren Buffett

Figure out what kind of a down payment your financial situation will allow for. The more, the better, but very few people I know got 20% of the purchase price [a.k.a. - conventional/bank loan] sitting around collecting dust. Good news is you don't necessarily have to have that much.

One of the most common loans is a FHA that only asks for 3-5% down AND there are down payment assistance programs out there if you are really Stuck Like Chuck when it comes to finances. NOTE: This does NOT mean they are going to give you ALL of your down payment; you gotta have some chips in that poker game too.

I like to recommend that people shoot for at least 6-8% of the purchase price of the "kind of home they want" just to make sure all the bases are covered - down payment AND cost(s) of the transaction. Folks, that's a lesser down payment than Owner Finance options for the same "kind of home" as Owners generally ask for 10-15% down.

This total can be a combination of self-savings, down payment assistance, assets that can be used as collateral against the loan, monetary or tangible gifts from friends/family members in some few cases, and more.

Each person is unique and different in how that 6-8% manifests and lenders can vary in what form(s) of down payment they will accept.

EXAMPLE:

Purchase Price: $150k

FHA Down Pymt (3-5%): $4,500 - $7,500

Other Cost(s): (3% +/-): $4,500

Total Savings Needed: $9,000 - $12,000

Kill some bills, sell your "junk" - we all got crap laying around the house we don't use worth money in various amounts - and modify spending habits in a positive manner.

If you are a two car family... can you get by with just one vehicle on a temporary basis [turn that car, and its bills, "into" a house]? Perhaps you have a skill set or piece of equipment that can earn you extra cash here and there on your terms? What changes to your lifestyle can you make that will put another dime or dollar into that kitty bucket?

Finally, do whatever it is you need to do to put those greenbacks into a savings method you can stick with. Whether that is a traditional banking institution or an old shoe box under the bed; you do you. If this means you have to ask someone in a position of trust to hold it so you don't spend it? Guess what you should consider doing?

STEP 2. - TALK TO LENDERS

Let's talk about the "When" of contacting a lender. The only true answer to "When" is... When You Are Ready and only you know how Ready you feel.

I've had clients express the sheer dread they felt about reaching out to a lender and it's an understandable fear. One of my people even said that they felt applying to lenders and having them see their credit condition was akin to stripping naked in front of a total stranger.

But, and as I told my client... think of it like going to the doctor for a full physical exam. Hospital gown over your birthday suit and all. Lenders are professionals there to do a job. They do NOT judge or speculate just because they have intimate knowledge of or about you.

If you suspect you may have some homework to do, credit wise, then it's better to contact a lender sooner rather than later. This allows you to get a game plan together and knock out credit related targets while you are saving funds for your down payment goal. Once completed, you are able to resume your application with confidence moving forward.

"Everything You Want Is On The Other Side of Fear" - Jack Canefield

However, if you are one of the few who feel their credit profile will be a "non-issue" then my suggestion becomes waiting to speak to lenders until you have most, if not all, of your down payment goal met.

When applying to a lender always ask if they perform a Soft or Hard inquiry against your credit report. Most of the lenders I know [and I will list two of my favorites for you here in a second] will execute a Soft Credit Inquiry to determine credit worthiness. This Soft Inquiry does not impact or affect your credit score - should such be a matter of concern to you.

Something else I've noticed is that people don't seem to understand shopping for lender is very much like shopping for an automobile. The overall requirements of any one particular lender (or dealership) can be totally different from a fellow lender's (or dealership's).

Just because one says "No" does not mean they will all will say "No". And even if the first lender tells you "Yes"... I would still encourage you to apply to more than one who does Soft Inquiries. Compare apples to oranges to find the best fit for your home purchasing needs by reviewing interest rates, terms of repayment, mutual rights and remedies, and so on and so forth.

Only after you have secured lender approval (which may be conditional based on various factors) and they have given you the green light to shop up to the amount of $X.00 do you move on to Step 3.

STEP 3 - FIND YOUR REALTOR

The vast majority of the population feels the path to homeownership is "finding the home and then buying it" - through a Real Estate agent. This is NOT the case.

Selecting an agent to help navigate you through the complexities of The Offer and Purchase process is the absolute LAST step to be taken.

What Happens When You Do It Backwards:

You shop for, and find, that PERFECT place and then reach out to an an agent or contact the website that is listing that property. The agent involved determines you haven't spoken with a lender and may now recommend one to get the process started.

Just to let you know... most of us agents are unable to do much of anything at this point without your having secured a lender first. There are some agents out there who are also qualified mortgage consultants but I, personally, haven't met one yet so I don't know how they work.

At this point the agent may also put you on an e-mailer list that scouts the MLS's and regularly sends you properties "matching" the ideal home that you originally asked about.

Why?

Because "that home may not still be there when you are in a position to buy". That's agent speak for... this is gonna take a bit of second and that property will most likely have sold by the time we get you lender approved.

I can't emphasize enough the fact that we agents don't "GET" you that house - the lender does that by providing the loan to pay for it. Us agents help you shop for a home and protect your best interests when buying it.

We deal with the butt-ton of technical paperwork coming/going from every which-a-way at all hours of the day, manage the contract negotiations, handle scheduling and execution of services by professional providers involved in the transaction, are your personal defacto counselor/moral support during the stress mess of buying, and more. None of which can be done until a lender gives us the green light to begin.

Well, most folks aren't mentally or emotionally prepared to reach out to said lender on the fly like this. Fears of "what that lender will see" or personal misgivings about "not qualifying" due to credit condition can halt the whole process at this point. Perhaps leaving you with negative emotions about the whole experience thus far.

But, for the sake of argument let's say you muster up the courage to reach out to a lender anyway. You'll discover that they are people too - most with a generous heart and helpful personality.

You might even discover that your credit was nowhere near as bad as you had built it up in your mind to be. Or, the lender may come back with a little homework for you. Take care of This and That and we'll be able to get you into a home.

The "whammy" of doing it in reverse order like this is that the lender will also share that you will need X thousands of dollars as a down payment to make that happen. Talk about a case of sticker shock!

Obviously, this can be discouraging and disheartening. To overcome one obstacle only run smack dab into another you weren't prepared to tackle? It may start to feel like you are looking up the side of a mountain, the goal of owning a home clearly in your line of sight, but you lack the climbing equipment (not to mention the funds to acquire such) to reach the summit.

It may feel like "that's it, game over" at this point. I know because I, too, approached home ownership azz-backwards like this before I became a Realtor. Felt like someone had ripped a bit of my soul away and left me frustrated and crying inside my heart and mind.

DON'T give up on yourself or your dream of home ownership. Back up, regroup, and attack that goal again. This time, in the correct sequence of events.

"You May Have To Fight A Battle More Than Once To Win It" - Margaret Thatcher

Do this and I promise you that there will be no better feeling in the world than those you experience at the closing table when you are finally handed the keys to your very own home.

Disclaimer: Opinion Editorial for educational and/or informational purposes. Content presented is deemed accurate and/or reliable at the time of authorship. Any errors or omissions present in material(s) are unintentional. You are encouraged to execute your own research.

#MGARES #VirtualPropertyRealty.com #homegoals #househunting #homebuying #realestate #realestateagent

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cookinguptales · 6 years

Note

feel free to ignore this question if its annoying or too time consuming or whatever, but I've just started uni and I'm doing a creative writing course but I don't think I'm particularly good. You're my favourite fic writer so I thought maybe you could explain your process? Your stories always have a way of making me connect and feel for the characters, but I don't know how to write like that or make people give a shit about whats happening in a story, or feel whatever emotion is relevant.

It’s not an annoying question, but I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to answer… I’ve never had any formal training or writing classes or anything lmao.

For me, I’ll usually think of an event or a concept that I’d like to have happen to the characters. Like, to make up some quick OCs, uhh… A & B. Let’s call them Adelaide and Bianca. To take an oldie but a goodie, Adelaide has a crush on her friend Bianca, but doesn’t want to tell her for Reasons.

Now, that’s a basic scenario. For me, the important step here is to really think about this character’s emotional core. What has their life been like? How does their personality reflect that? How do they deal with problems? What are Adelaide’s Reasons? Make sure your character’s decisions reflect their emotional core rather than the other way around. If you’re just bending a character’s personality to fit the story you want to tell, it’ll come off as a little false. If there’s a particular plot you want to tell, work backward. If you need a character to make a specific decision, think about what would bring them to that decision, and make sure that groundwork is laid in everything else this character says and does.

So I need Adelaide not to confess, which is a plot point I’m imposing on the character. I need to think about why this is a decision she’d make. Well, Adelaide’s parents can be dismissive of her sometimes, and she’s never really excelled in anything she’s tried before. So she’s scared to keep trying because she’s internalized this concept of her own inadequacy. To keep her likable, let’s say that she’s scared to try, but her own hopeless romanticism won’t let her give up.

So you’ve decided on a backstory and an emotional core. Now you have to apply this to the rest of the story. How has this personality affected her relationship with Bianca? Why are they friends and what is their relationship? How does Bianca change Adelaide’s thought process? What decisions will Adelaide make going forward based not only on her own emotional core, but on how the other characters affect that?

Adelaide, because she is too scared to say anything but has a big enough heart that she needs an emotional outlet, writes love letters in a diary that she assumes Bianca will never read. It is a way to indulge in her feelings without the stress of sharing them.

And what about Bianca? You can’t make the mistake of only thinking about the emotional core of your protagonist. That’ll make for a flat story. Bianca has a thirst for knowledge. She’s bright and intense and wants to know everything. This brightness is what attracts Adelaide, as she keeps her own light buried, but that is precisely what causes friction between the two of them. Think about how these two emotional cores might interact. Adelaide hides things, and Bianca is obsessed with uncovering them. Bianca must hate that her friend is closed off from her.

Clearly, Bianca is going to read Adelaide’s diary.

Now, you can make Adelaide a good writer or a bad writer based on your own conception of the character. I’ll say that she’s not the best writer, but that the genuineness of her feelings come through; after all, she thinks no one will read this, so she is able to let loose in this one portion of her life and nowhere else. It’s easy to become fascinated with genuine words like that, and a curious person like Bianca, who feels everything too strongly to hide any of it, will be a goner.

A writes a diary about her feelings for an unnamed person. B reads it because they’re nosy. This is really a very basic story, but you’ve already personalized it by getting into their heads. You don’t need to say what’s going on in both their heads; make sure you’re careful about point of view. Your POV character cannot know what is going on inside the other character’s head, so your narration can’t lay that out. But you know what’s going on in Bianca’s head, so make sure you write her with that in mind, and do your best to lay those clues for the audience through dialogue or body language. (Or Adelaide, if you go with Bianca as POV character.)

Now is when it will be most important to keep your characters’ emotional core in mind. You will have to think about where this basic story will go. What would your A do in this situation? Your B? Because Bianca is curious and attracted to these things, let’s say that she keeps going back to read Adelaide’s diary. She becomes addicted to her words. But she also feels guilt about snooping – gotta keep her likable. The more she reads, the more she becomes concerned about her friend… and the more jealous she becomes of whoever Adelaide’s interested in.

So now they’re in a bind. Adelaide has unrequited love. Bianca is worried about her friend, but knows she can’t say anything without blowing her cover. You can introduce a plot device here, but frankly, their own emotional cores make this situation untenable for long. They’ll explode eventually. Bianca will accidentally mention something in conversation she shouldn’t have known, or Adelaide will say something cryptic that Bianca won’t be able to let go of. Secrets will come out, as they must in fiction, and they will fight. Think about their emotions and their backgrounds to think about how they’ll fight. Offensively? Defensively? Will they shut down or will they cry or will they say things they don’t mean?

Adelaide has low self-esteem, but she still has the capacity to get angry. However, because she’s often so angry with herself, those angers will probably meld together. She’ll yell about Bianca’s invasiveness but that will eventually devolve into anger at herself – it’s what she’s used to, after all – and she’ll say something bitter about the diary being trash or her love letters pointless. Because she’s trash and she’s pointless and nothing will ever come of them.

We have reached the emotional height of our story! (Make sure you have one!) The decisions your characters make now will be the most important ones of the entire story. Because you have raised the emotional level up so high, anything you write now, your readers will feel twice as hard. So it should be good!

Bianca, as we have seen throughout the story, doesn’t always make good decisions. But she genuinely cares about her friend. That’s part of her emotional core, and an important one. She has concern for her, so all these confessions disturb her. And that curiosity has finally been sated. Is it worth it? Think about how this fight will interact with every part of Bianca’s personality. In the end, it will come down to her love for her friend and the awe she felt while reading those letters. That will override any anger or hurt she feels during the fight.

She’ll say that the letters were beautiful. That anyone who wrote them is beautiful, too. That she hates seeing Adelaide angry with herself when she’s such a good person. And whoever is the recipient of those letters is very lucky.

This is what Adelaide needs to hear, but it’s also what Bianca needs to say. When these needs intersect like this, you’ll have an effective love story. It makes the characters seem like they genuinely fit together. If you’re not writing a love story, of course, they don’t really need to come together well. lmao. But make sure you keep their personalities and aims in mind when you show how they don’t come together. Show why they have friction, and show why they’ll never quite come together. Make sure your readers understand why they have such irreconcilable differences; it will make fights, hatred, and rivalries seem more well-founded and less like your characters are dicks. (I mean, unless you want them to be dicks.)

By this point in your story, your characters should be changing. A story where the emotional core of a character doesn’t see any evolution is a stagnant one, and it can be boring. Bianca has changed; she understands her own selfishness and is filled with concern for her friend. She’s also, coincidentally, in love with her and her words and the emotional core she read in those words. This here, though, is when Adelaide changes. Not all the way; no one changes that much in the course of one conversation. (That’s important.) But it can be enough for her to start questioning her own assumptions and maybe lend her a bit of the bravery she always wishes she’d had.

She tells Bianca who the letters were to, and Bianca is relieved, but also finds that a part of her really always knew. And everything after that is really cake.

What I’m trying to say here with this stupidly long example, is that you need to think about your character’s emotions first. You can’t simply have them react to whatever you throw at them. You need to think about what is driving your character at every single part of the story, and you need to know your character’s emotions intimately. It’s worth it to spend a long time thinking about what makes your characters tick. It’ll make everything after that easier.

When it comes to fanfic as opposed to origific, it’s easier in one way and harder in another. You won’t need to come up with the scenario, characters, setting, so you can zero right on in how the characters are feeling. You can jump right in. However, you’ll also need to spend time thinking about the characters dialogue and actions in canon so you can tease out their emotional core. If you can figure out why they made the decisions they did in canon, you can figure out what they’ll do in new situations. You need to start with that character’s, well, character before you can do anything else.

Finally, it can be hard to write emotions. I find that it’s usually not particularly useful if a story just says that a character’s sad. So think about what sadness is and what it inspires. How do people behave when they’re sad? How does it physically feel inside your body, what sort of things does it make you think, what lies at the heart of that feeling? Try to express that in your work. Talk about the lump in your character’s throat, or the way they feel like they’re buried in something intangible. Talk about the decisions they make because they’re sad. (This is also handy because it’s a good way to show the emotions of a non-POV character.)

Try not to go too over-the-top here or to rely too much on cliches. Think about what sadness means to this character, and how they’ve trained themselves to respond to it, and that will help make things feel more genuine. Adelaide responds to sadness by burying it inside her and only letting it out in her notebook. Bianca responds to sadness by externalizing part of it, but burying the rest of it in action. They’re very different responses to the same emotion, and when you write that, you’re showing your readers characterization and the characters’ mental state. One-two punch.

As for how to make it relatable… Well, like what happened with Bianca, readers respond to genuineness. If it feels like a fully-realized character with real emotions, readers will find those emotions relatable even if they don’t feel them themselves. Readers who understand where a character is coming from will accept their decisions, even if they aren’t the same decisions the reader would make. Try to speak to universal experiences and emotions, though. Fear of rejection. The excitement of a new discovery. The longing for something better paired with the wariness that things might just get worse if they change. People will respond to things they’ve felt before, even if the character isn’t feeling them quite the same way. Just gotta keep it in-character for the character in question. Utilize common emotions to make it relatable, but make those emotions specific to your character to make things feel real. We all feel the same things, but we feel them all differently. That’s what makes the world lovely and frustrating.

Anyway, I guess that was a real long way of saying that, to some degree, your characters’ emotions should drive the story instead of the other way around. It will make any story feel more immediate and more believable, and will make readers feel greater kinship with your characters. Again, I’m no professional. But you asked me how I do it and that’s how I do it. So uh, I hope this was helpful.

#long post #writing #writing advice #fic stuff #replies #above all it comes down to practice tho so don't give up

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years

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Episode 1B - “I'm praying to Yoncé I survive and don't get first boot.”-Jess

no words.

LITERALLY

NO WORDS.

Two points. TWO FUCKING POINTS.

I'm praying to Yoncé I survive and don't get first foot. That ain't a cute look xoxox

i'm already forgetting to search for the idols, i'm already getting paranoid about if i need to start making alliances instead of just enjoying the really cute convos i'm having with ruthie lily and kevin (max is kinda dry and annoying but... we'll try to make it work ig).... and i'm already hating every challenge we do especially this one although i actually really liked the challenge it was so creative and fun, i just hated that i have bad luck and am stupid with the deduction things, HENCE why i havent looked for the idol yet. LOL. so.... tl;dr - things are going perfectly! this hufflepuffle is workin exactly as he should!

I just wanna say we really are the hufflepuffs. 114 moves in like 5 hours, but we did it. Really proud of Ruthie, Landen, Kevin, Max, and I! Sending positive vibes to slytherin. Hope they are okay in this madness.

Yo my tribe? Kinda dope. I think that everyone worked really well together today! I think Joanna kinda took the lead and some of her ideas were... a choice. But! It got us first place! I think that this tribe has a good shot of getting to swap unscathed.

With Slytherin going to tribal, I really hope that someone I don’t know goes, but at the same time I’d be okay with Jess going? I feel like she’s such a sleeper threat in most games I’m in with her and I really just don’t want to compete with that this time around.

I kind of snapped and got myself an idol good until final 6 teehee.

I knew that the Snape's letter or writing or whatever that freak was up to was SOMETHING. Did I get lucky... hell fucking yeah.

A crackhead like me SHOULD NOT have all this POWER.

I also gave Jacob literally the worst clue ever because we are sharing clues ladies xoxoxo

The clue was:

"Snape is taken aback. “That wouldn’t be any business of yours now would it? I wouldn’t want to find out you are spreading false information. I trust you won’t have any issue with that”. Congrats! You’ve discovered Snape Storyline 2! That’s all for the moment, and will end your search for this round."

BOTH ARE HALF TRUE. Just in case he doesn't put 2 and 2 together and now I went from place to place on purpose. He's gonna think now I gave him something of value and I know he's gonna think "No way someone go an idol on day fucking 3".

youtube

CONFESSIONAL 1.1 — Walking into the Great Hall, I saw a few familiar faces... for not good reasons!

First Jacob, who I know from tengaged. He and I were in a similar friend group for a short period before he left it, but we had a rocky relationship. We flirted a bit (blame 16-year-old Nicholas), but that is in the past.

Secondly, Jess... who I just directly sent home in Eve’s The Challenge: Fresh Meat. She did not have great words to say to me (such as I’m condescending), so I was very wary and, honestly, unhappy with her being here.

But, as Kylie Minogue says, it’s better the devil you know.

Flash forward to the Sorting Ceremony, and I’m so happy to be.. Slytherin? I told Mister Vintage (Sammy) and Mister Heinen (Caeleb) that I’m either a Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, but I suppose I’ve been lying to myself.

Then, I see my tribe: both Jess and Jacob are present. This is a curse wrapped in a blessing wrapped in an enigma. And, I love it.

I hate, hate, hate conflict and bad vibes, so I directly spoke to both. Jacob did not easily recognize me, but remembered me fondly; so, a successful reacquaintance. Jess, on the other hand, was definitely more apprehensive (as was I), but I made one thing clear: the past is the past, and I am declaring my loyalty.

I have been hurt in previous games by shoving the past aside while the other is still grudgingly aiming for revenge, but I feel Jess is different. She apologized to me about her words, which did hurt, and I apologized to her. What I said was honest, so I’m glad to see a fateful blossoming.

The first reward challenge is revealed, and honestly, I’m really bad at participating in pre-merge competitions, because I do not mind tribal. However, I do want to, since we are such a small tribe, focus on maintaining our numbers in case of a swap. We came in second this reward, and honestly, I’m glad to have eaten cupcakes (although I hate cherry). The fact we all chose a dessert and were privately messaged makes me assume someone received an advantage, but who knows...

What I DO know is that I had two separate relationships, so I wanted to lock a trio down (Me, Jess, Jacob), but I obviously did not want to gamebot this early and make the chat day one. So, naturally, i waited until after immunity.

Speaking of immunity... I took charge, because I like it, but also, I wanted to be able to take blame if we lost. I hate the whole “let’s vote someone out cuz they cost us a virtual challenge” this early in the game, it’s a cheap way to vote. I want to vote on loyalty and activity instead. That’s why I am probably going to target Jessie or Vi, but I‘m unsure as to which will be my vote. On one hand, Vi is much less social, but she also contributed a lot to the challenge. I do not want to judge a book by it’s cover, so I will reach out to her and assess her vibe.

I like going to tribal first, because my philosophy is that it’s better to test loyalties now, rather than guess loyalties later.

Regarding other players, Jules and Juls just played in a mini with me and sheeped the majority alliance to screw me over, so I’m not feeling them right now. Bitterness doesn’t exist in my mind: play well and I respect it; sheep and be stupid, and I will gladly dish out the karma.

I’m satisfied with the happenings of this game so far, and I hope to make it further!! This is one of my first real orgs so, I’m em definitely excited. x. nick

Yay we won immunity. Raffy do be carrying our tribe though!

WELL WELL WELL!!!!!!! as far as my relationships go which is where i left off last round, really nothing much has changed about how i feel about or view my tribemates, but in exciting news... we won immunity!! i am not going to be first boot that is so nice, and im hoping that we can keep winning immunity until a swap so I can feel more secure. I think I could stand a shot if we lost on this tribe but i think if so the vote would split 3-2 i dont think i can get a unanimous vote on anyone unless its myself which is NOT WHAT WERE TRYNA DO HERE !! if anything i feel like i have the best chance to wiggle myself in with the girls (lily and ruthie) Max would probably be my ideal first vote if we ever lose an immunity because I know landen can be useful in challenges, but he YET AGAIN addressed me with a name that does not sit well with me he called me a "challengewhore" yet another reference to TS 2020, so this is not a good sign. Ideally I could get landen out and still be set but i know he has a relationship with juls who i also have a relationship with and wish to continue to have in this game, and us going against each other could make that more stressful than it needs to be because i know landen avenged beck for voting juls out maybe juls would do the same for him? Much to think about, but thankfully i dont have to think about it all that hard because yet again we ARE SAFE !!! woo, anyways thats pretty much it hopefully we can keep winning :D

Ahhhh safety feels so nice, I’m glad that I’m not in danger of being the first boot. Also I love the fact that ravenclaw won the first challenge with so little moves HAHA!

I want to go far in this thing with lily and with kevin, my goal right now is to get to merge and owen be alive so I can work with him!

I am very happy to have won this immunity challenge. We barely won, but I managed to pull my tribe to a victory. Emphasis on the "I" part. I am very frustrated with my tribe's lack of challenge activeness and ability. If the time did not work for them, then I do not know why they even suggested doing it at 2 PM. This challenge would have gone faster if I had done everything myself. In the end, though, I hope this helps in me staying in the game because I am a necessity if they want to ever win a challenge in first place. I highly doubt that they could do it without me.

So I’m currently writing this with one hand because my cat decided to lie on my other one anyways Nobody is really talking about the vote which means it’s probably me going but I’ll see what I can do to change that

Here's a breakdown of my first few experiences since I am writing this a few hours before the first tribal council.

FIRST I was cast in this game along with a BUNCH of people that are icons across different formats of Tumblr Survivor - so that's intimidating. Mostly because my play style is kinda vanilla in comparison. I gotta find a way to stand out or I'm going to be thrown out fast.

SECOND There's a twist that will probably have some major effect at some later point in the game where everyone is added to the Great Hall. I think that it's for convenience of posting things like results and challenges so it only has to be sent to one chat... but also so that we can feel THEMATIC which is a lot of fun.

The game started in the Great Hall and we got sorted into our houses and the implication was that it's random but.. I don't think it's entirely true if I can read into what the hosts said to me once I was sorted into Gryffindor (something about running out of room in Hufflepuff) - because I definitely didn't say Gryffindor in my application.

THIRD My tribe has the following people: Joshua, Juls, Raffy, Autumn, and myself.

I do not know how many of theme said Gryffindor when they applied but also did not want to bring it up to them as I am masquerading as a brave idiot. :D

Anyway, I started conversations with all of them and they all seem very sweet!!

I've played in a game before with Raffy where he was super snakey but also a great ally until he tried to snake me. So there's that... he's also an "over the top" type of person so he takes charge a lot of the time and voices his opinions about everything. I hope we can create some sort of working relationship in the game, but I think that he will tell me the truth if he does align against me.

Autumn is super chill and super strategic-minded. She puts lots of thought into all of her decisions and makes calls that benefit her getting to the end while trying to align with the right people. If I can't get to the FTC of this game... TBH I want to make sure she gets there. I played with her in one game and we both were tossed out one after another when the game turned on our "side". I don't think that relationship will factor into this game as it was forever ago and we both kinda play "new" every time we start a game but I'm hoping she will want to try and play with me just because I've seen how great she is at the game.

Juls is a very fun person who seems to always be having a great time! I found out she lives in Texas too and that she was excited to get to know me because we are from the same state. I was like.. do I know you? Because when she messaged me the way she did implied that she knew who I was and I was thinking OH NO what have people said.

Joshua seems really sweet. He hasn't added incredibly much to conversations so far with him but he has contributed some fun things. I love that he tries to be entertaining, but as I see it so far he's the first person I'd be willing to vote out if it came to our tribe going to council... though of course, having said that I bet they've all declared me their first choice.

FOURTH The reward challenge was the Letter plus Number challenge so as predicted...

I did terribly and earned 0 points for our tribe and was SO happy it was not for immunity.

The immunity challenge was a Choose Your Own Adventure Puzzle.

We got a slow start in that I feel like everyone was afraid to make a move because that would put a target on whoever "failed for the team". Then me and Raffy kind of got things rolling with him taking the main leader role and me taking on a secondary role either agreeing with his suggestions or contributing a suggestion for what we should do.

There was a misunderstanding with the competition and we ended up making a whole bunch of extra moves because it was unclear to us that the letters we found at a later part of the challenge were able to be changed into numbers at a lockbox so we did a bunch of extra stuff... and I was resigned to the fact we were going to the first tribal when we go surprised that Slytherin... DID WORSE!!! O_O

Anyway... I still have no alliances or confirmed "working game" relationships and I really don't feel like starting those conversations at the moment so if I am out of the ones established or on the bottom of one that will add me to "pick me up" for later votes then I blame myself for not trying hard enough in that category.

FIFTH I definitely didn't just now search for the idol and waste two days that I could have searched other times. Nope! Not me!! :)

Anyway I went on a trip to Hagrid's Hut because I love me some Hagrid and I figured he'd let me in since I"m a Gryffindor and he loves us the best (you know, like a reverse Snape)... I dug through all of his junk and found his umbrella. Apparently I liked that it was pink and then left his hut.

To be honest, I probably should have taken his dragon's egg and turned him in... maybe could have gotten him fired.

Someone finally got me to come out of retirement- can you believe it

It's been cute so far and I have no complaints, probably cause the hosts wisely put me, Owen, and Dan in separate corners lmao. Yooo if we all make it to merge?? Hell hath no fury. But we will cross that bridge when we get there! And for now I enjoy the calm before the storm. I deadass forgot how to be an org so I need all the time I can get to socialize and reacclimate. Me checking Skype more than once a year? Don't remember ever doing that. I love Raffy, it's always good to see Chips, I think I like Juls, and I'm not sure how I feel about Joshua but it's fine. I like Gryffindor cause we have no beef and I hope it stays that way.

ok so my tribe lost :( big sad. but im def ok bc jess is soooo close to me and we made a threesome with nick so. i think jessie is an easy first boot bc shes not around as much as vi. but really its our decision at the end of the day!

here’s the hot goss.. i’m a little upset i didn’t get anyone i Know on my house/tribe but also grateful HSBSNSNN all i know is that so far i’ve been doing pretty solid in securing relationships with those on my team (at least.. i hope so :flushed:) and i’m hoping they all like me hehe. kinda praying to just mist my way to merge where i can be united with people who like me enough to keep me around still.. >:D

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pokefanbri · 4 years

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1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

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