#'if they truly didnt love you they might have done something like throw you away without even giving you a name' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

getris · 6 months

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I've heard some people use tumblr as a way of venting or letting things out, i guess those are the same thing and i figured ill give this a try.

This will mostly be me venting to myself about things to do with my life starting with my grandad, and id like to stay anonymous so i wont mention his name.

But on may 28th 2023 i lost my grandad, so about 6 months ago now, ive delt with mental health issues for the majority of my life, idk if thats due to a cocktail of family issues, medication my mother was taking when she was pregnant with me or if theres just something not quite right in my head.

Ive delt with major trust issues, self confidence and self image issues, physical and emotional abuse from both parents and emotional abuse and manipulation from an ex partner but never in my life has anything come quite as close to the level of mind twisting torment that grief has provided; i loved my grandad dearly, out of every member of my dysfunctional family he has consistently been the only safe space, i have never once seen him get angry, swear or even raise his voice unless he was letting out one of his typical hearty chuckles and i think i can safely say that no matter what anyone said he couldnt get angry or judge.

That doesnt mean he is incapable of being firm, he was a fair man and if you did something truly stupid or disappointing he would give you this specific look, one that is still filled with love and compassion but sadness and disappointment and he might throw in a softly spoken "dont do that" (but a little rugged from years of cigars and whiskey during his time in the army), even then his tone was reassuring and it never made you feel challenged but it always got through, i could be screaming at my mother, bright red faced and body full of adrenaline but the moment i caught that look and heard that tone it would all wash away and id feel nothing but regret for what ever was said or done, thats when you know someone is a good person, when they dont need to shout at you, push you or say harsh things, and a simple few calm words immediately diffuse the entire situation.

So naturally me and everyone else in my family were close to him, i have so many fond memories of him, like the time he had this golf cart (he loved golf) and my brother turned it on by accident and sent the thing shooting off down the street as my grandad desperately sprinted after it, or the times he would adamantly try to fix or build things on his own since hes an ex army mechanic and knew better, only to sheepishly realise hes made a mistake and go back to the instructions, he took me to a fishing tournament once and i honestly didnt care at all about the tournament but it was a lovely chance to spend one on one time with him as adults, he even bought me a cider and a beer for himself and that was the first and only chance i got to drink with him, that tournament was even broadcast on TV once so id love to go back and try to find it to see if i can spot me and my grandad in the crowd somewhere.

Theres so much more to the relationship between me and my grandad and im sure ill remember some of it and come back to write more another time, but you can imagine why it felt like my world was shook, i was at a friends house when i first got a call from my brother, he said something along the lines of my grandad had fell over and they took him to hospital, found out that it was potentially cancer but there was no certainty, i cried immediately after that call because to me my grandad was this big, unshakeable ex military man and ive seen him hurt a million times and be unbothered, so to hear that he had collapsed immediately sent waves through my body and i knew something wasnt right.

i spent another few days at my friends house and went home, at that time i was grossly behind with university work (due to mental health issues), and i had finals coming up so i had to force myself back into work, nothing but university and train times and study sessions on my mind because i had to pass, i had to... so i went to my friends house, we study better together and have similar mindsets, so it works out really well when we study and bounce ideas back and forth between each other to get the assignments done, i remember finishing a particularly gruelling study session with her one night when my brother messaged me saying he needs to tell me something but its better if i hear it in person, but i intended to stay at my friends until these assignments and exams were over so i pushed him to message me the update and thats where the regrets started.

My brother told me that my grandad was very sick, it was confirmed to be cancer and the moment i read that i felt physically sick, but my brother reassured me that my grandad was told he had a few years to live, so immediately i wasnt too hurt and i was hell bent that as soon as these exams are over im going to go visit him and once hes out of hospital ill make memories with him, drink with him if possible, anything he wanted.

But thats not how it went, i kept studying and handing in assignments and all i had left was one more exam and thats it im free for the summer and i can go see grandad, but just a day or so before the exam my brother messaged me again saying my grandads health had declined rapidly, he was told months, and then weeks left, so of course i panicked, but i had to do this exam and it was only one more day so surely everythings going to be fine and i can still go see him in the hospital and have a laugh and chat with him.

Exam day comes and i cant get it out of my mind by this point, my family told me they are visiting him that day and asked if i could come but because of visiting hours and my exam hours, i couldnt go but again i told myself "he has weeks left, i can bare one more day and visit him the moment my family goes again", so i went to university, went into that exam room and the entire time i couldnt focus, my university was in the same town that my grandad was in care, so all that was on my mind for that entire two hours was "hes only 30 minutes away, what if he passes while im in here", but the exam time passed painfully slowly but it passed regardless, after the exam i was insanely exhausted and depressed, i hung around with my friend after the exam for an hour or so and then took the train home, turns out timing is a bitch because the moment i got home my parents asked if i was still at uni because they could pick me up on their way to the hospital but i had just got home, the next train would be an hour from then so theres no way i could have visited.

Two days later i was at my mothers birthday when she informed me that my grandad didnt in fact have weeks, he had days left at most and they were going to see him the next day and theres no way im missing anymore chances, so the day comes that we get to go see him, but again something really did not feel right, we got in the car and only a few minutes after picking up my grandmother my aunt (who was at the hospital) said to come quick because he was choking on his own tongue at that point and they expect him to be gone any minute.

Thats the beginning of the heartbreak, seeing my own grandmother in the car talking out loud "just wait (his name) just wait a bit longer please", she was a lot like him, always innocent, always smiling and there she was begging to herself in the car crying, hoping he can just hold on a bit longer for her to be at his side.

We get to the hospital, i watched my nan walk as fast as she could, in pain to get to that room, the moment i walked in it felt like my entire world had ended in that instant, he was no longer my grandad, seeing him in that state felt like my heart had just been ripped out through my chest; he was pale, hairless, almost no muscle left on his body, his skin was a different colour, you could see his heart beating through his chest because his rib cage had twisted and changed shape, he had his eyes and mouth half open and all you could hear was struggled breaths, occasionally interrupted by a weak cough or the sound of him choking on his own tongue, his spine had broken in multiple areas from coughing, thats how frail his body had become.

It was painful, he was clearly suffering and i went through whirlwinds of anger, sadness, anger, sadness... Sad and heart broken seeing such a strong pillar of my world laying there struggling to even exist, and anger that he was allowed to stay in this state, nurses coming in to inject him or feed him medication that would only serve to keep him in this state for a little bit longer, i felt like he was being tortured in the most inhumane way for hours, he couldnt see or hear or speak by that point, just breathe and exist in pain.

Thats when family started talking, gossiping about his state and things he had done during his stay which further broke my heart, remember earlier when i said he had never sworn, never raised his voice and was effectively this gentle giant? Well i overheard my aunt, mother and grandmother talking about how he had been in such pain that he had started threatening the nurses, swearing at and insulting everyone within eyesight, begging both nurses and family to either kill him or take him somewhere where he could do it on his own terms, just typing that out brings a painful lump to my throat because to change such a gentle, loving man into that state must have meant either he was already suffering immensely, or he knew exactly bad it was going to get, it was shock after shock, emotional whiplash.

I stayed in that room for as long as i could which turned out to be 5 hours and 24 minutes, i couldnt bare a moment longer before i stood next to his bed and said my goodbyes, seeing a person you care so deeply about in such a state of suffering, staying in that room for those 5 hours had physically exhausted me, its not that i was just tired of being in the hospital, but i dont think i could have processed another second of that day without rest, so the second i got to my house i passed out in my bed, two hours later my phone was ringing and it was my brother, grandad was gone.

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yandere--stuck · 3 years

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Bad Blood - Yandere!Batman x Reader x Yandere!Joker

It wasn't just The Joker who had been watching you. And to a point, you were aware of that.

After all, that just came with the territory of being a minor celebrity within Gotham city. It wasn't often that those considered "famous" in Gotham didn't either have connections to the mafia or were locked up within Arkham or Blackgate.

As a reporter, you were watched on the news, on the streets - occasionally approached by fans, at parties where you mingled with your peers or made connections. All rather normal, really.

But, there were times when you could just feel it in your bones. You were being watched.

Like in the dark of night, the moon following you on your walk home. Alone. When the light from street lamps bathed everything in orange. The streets empty, the occasional car zooming by. It was then that you had felt watched.

It was understandable, something innate in humans, to feel frightened of the dark and the paranoia of being alone. Our imaginations run wild, and we trick ourselves into thinking that there's something out there with us. Someone following our every move, hiding just out of sight. But, no matter how many times you swore you were being watched, nothing ever happened. No muggings, no stalkers, no threats. When you got back to your apartment, unlocking and then re-locking all six of the locks on your door, you were able to let out a sigh of relief - it was just your own paranoia getting the best of you. You weren't being followed. You could relax, knowing that it was all in your head.

But, it wasn't.

Your paranoia wasn't unfounded. The shiver of your spine at the feeling of being watched wasn't your mind tricking itself. But, of course, even when you'd turn around to try and spot someone, something, you hadn't been able to see him. He had hid in the shadows and crouched atop rooftops, keeping watch over you.

He had done so every night. The moment you left the studio, to when you started your walk, and then headed home. He even stuck around to peer through your window, making sure you were truly safe. It wasn't something any of the Robins or Oracle knew about - it wasn't something they had to know. Well… It's not like he exactly lied about what he was doing during the alotted time of your walk home. But, he also didnt want to admit it, either - not that he thought what he was doing was wrong, but… He just didn't want anyone to be worried. To get the wrong idea. And it rarely took time out of his nightly patrol, just fifteen minutes. It wasn't a big deal.

He was just protecting you. That was just his job. He was supposed to protect the people of Gotham. To protect you. He just had a… Fixation, that's all. And when Bruce gets fixated on something, it's like pulling teeth for him to keep away.

Bruce met you like he does with most reporters - at a charity event. He had seen your stories on the news a few times beforehand, and braced himself for the usual song and dance - Vicki Vale trying to score something on the record for something much juicier and personal than the cause he was donating to, or perhaps Jack Ryder trying to rile him up to get him to throw a fit for a story. He was pleasantly surprised, however, when you treated him like an actual person. Sure, it could be that you were off the clock - but really, when were reporters ever really off the clock?

Most people would bend over backwards to get themselves into Brice Wayne's good graces. But, you… You talked to him like he was no different than anyone else. Maybe a bit reserved, but you had only just met, after all. In spite of this, Bruce found himself able to relax, chatting with you about the party, about your days up to then, your different careers. Bruce felt like he could actually be himself. With you, he wasn't Batman, nor was he billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. He was just… Himself.

Him and you.

He decides to stick by your side most of the evening, you and him talking long into the night. About your lives, your worries, your hobbies, your interests. It had been so long since he talked about such personal things with someone, even Alfred. And you understand. You understand his worries of responsibility, the weight of the world among his shoulders, you understand the suffocation of isolation, you under his inability to move on from the trauma of his past, try as he might. You understand. Of course you do…

You acted as someone to vent to. A listening ear. You offered up advice, even if you might not have the right answers to his problem. Sure, you might not know the full extent of his stress, but it's the thought that counts. It's almost like this night was made for you and him.

Something like, fate - that is, if Bruce had actually believed in something like that.

After that night, he found himself making a point to watch you on the news. The way you talked on the television is how you talked with him that night. Personable, comfortable, familiar. You might not be talking to him directly, but it warms his heart and staves off the icy chill of loneliness.

He went out of his way to find you during other important, publicized events. Most likely, you probably thought it was a coincidence that you kept finding yourself in his company. You most likely thought him as just an acquaintance, nothing more… But, oh, you meant so much to him.

And, oh, when you talked about Batman? Knowing that it was him you were talking about (even if you had no idea)... He'd be lying if it didn't make him a bit flustered. Your praises, the way you saw him as an inspiration, hoping after every mission that he was alright… And when you look into the camera and say to him, to Batman, through the screen, that you wish him a nice night and to be safe…?

God. He was smitten. And, really, that was his biggest mistake.

Feelings just made things complicated. He had learned that a long time ago. That everything he touched and loved was inevitably destroyed. It's why he works alone more often than not. He doesn't want someone getting hurt because of him ever again. Bruce has enemies, and Batman has even more.

Even if he had tried to reach out to you as Bruce, as himself, who's to say you would have wanted to be with him? Why would someone like you want Bruce Wayne - someone who most of Gotham portrayed as an immature playboy who never got over the death of his parents. While the second part wasn't exactly wrong, the whole playboy thing was just a diversion. But, how in the hell was he supposed to explain that?

It was easier to just let you go. You'd be happier, and more importantly, safer without his presence in your life.

So, he satiated himself on watching you, protecting you from the shadows, and kept himself sane by rewatching footage of you he's stashed within your home and around your apartment building. If he adored you from afar, that wouldn't hurt anything, right?

… But now, he's wishing he had just taken the chance. He had been good, had left you alone.

And he watched as the helicopter you were in was shot down. Watched as the recording cut off. Heard as you screamed at the top of your lungs. He replayed what he had seen over and over in his mind, losing himself. Bruce had gone so tense in disbelief and grief and rage that by the time Alfred had brought him back to reality, his nails had dug into the armrest of his loveseat.

He had insisted to himself later that night that investigating the scene of the crime wasn't fueled by personal connection or any feelings he may have. It was Batman's job. And if he ignores all the other bodies in favor of one that is presumed to be yours, it's just because he notices something different about it from the other's, that's all.

The body was decomposed far beyond that of the others, and had been exposed to the elements longer than the others. And to add onto that, the DNA sample Bruce had collected was matched with a body that had been gone missing from Gotham General.

Bruce's heart fluttered with hope and relief. You were alive, you had to be. But, just as quickly, realization crashed into him. If you were alive, it's only because Joker wanted you to be.

... What was he doing to you?

---

You stared down at the meal the Clown Prince of Crime had prepared for you - well, if you could call heating up a frozen dinner "preparing". It's not like you were exactly in a place to complain, though, considering the predicament you were stuck in.

Counting the time you had spent unconscious and Joker getting you situated and up to speed, it was most likely a few hours since the incident. You were feeling rather hungry… But, in spite of all of The Joker's lovey-dovey talk, you weren't quite sure if you could trust him to not serve you poisoned food. Even worse, however, was that you were still tied up - meaning the clown had to feed you, and you were even more unsure that he wouldn't kill you if you refused to eat.

In spite of the circumstances, and the dingy place you were trapped in, it wasn't exactly the worst. Hell, Joker had even lit up some candles for some mood lighting. Not exactly the worst "date", you had been on, sadly enough.

"Ready for some grub?" The Joker lurched into view, straightening his tie as he shot you a grin. "You must have worked up quite an appetite by now, considering all the excitement!"

You smiled in return, hoping it didn't look too strained as you nodded. You watched as he got his utensils ready, cutting up some of the food into smaller bites. You kept especially close attention on the hand holding a knife - though, it wasn't like you had any way to flee if he had decided to turn it on you.

The Joker stabbed at the food with a fork, setting down the knife, as he moved to raise your meal to your lips, while you attempted not to turn your head away. The fork approached closer and closer, and you tried to rid your mind of awful thoughts, like an eye being ripped out of its socket, implanted on the fork's tongues. But, then, The Joker suddenly stopped.

"Oh, silly me! I almost forgot," The Clown Prince set down the utensils, digging into the inside of his suit. With a flourish, he unveiled a bright, colorful, and clearly plastic flower, holding it out to you. "A present for you, m'dear! Go on, take a whiff."

You shook in your seat. Oh, God. You knew exactly where this was going. He had played you this whole time, like predators played with their food. He had made you think he had developed this obsession with you and managed to lull you into a false sense of security. And just when you were sure you were going to make it out of this situation alive, he planned to hit you with his trademark laughing gas and watch as you died.

You held back tears, shivering with fear and despair. And The Joker looked so happy, so encouraging. You were going to die. You had hit the end of the road.

You leaned forward, taking a breath through your nose-

And jumped, letting out a scream as the ceiling caved in, a dark figure crashing through. You whipped your head to face it- and winced as a small stream of water hit your cheek. Blinking once, twice, three times, you slowly turned to the clown and the trick flower in his hand.

Oh. So, it was just a regular trick flower. Not a deadly one. Okay. Okay, yeah. Sure. Great.

Groaning softly, your whole body went limp. You hung your head, shaking it slowly. Whatever. Whatever happened next, you didn't care. You were too exhausted.

"Aw, c'mon, Bats! Don'tcha know it's rude to upstage someone's act?" Joker asked. "Besides, you weren't invited to our little date night..."

...Batman?

From your periphery, you could see it. See him.

Oh, thank God. Thank fucking God. You were saved! Batman was going to save you!

All the tiredness seemed to instantly fade as you were overwhelmed with adrenaline and relief. You were saved. You were saved. Batman was going to save you. Batman was going to protect you and make sure you were all right. You didn't have to worry or be scared anymore. Batman would do all of the worrying for you.

"You broke out of Arkham, killed innocent people, and kidnapped the sole survivor after almost killing them, as well," Batman seethed, his voice a growl. "You're going back to Arkham, and I'll be taking them with me, where they'll be safe."

"Hey! First off, the whole helicopter thing wasn't me, it was one of my boys. Well… To be fair, I had intended on killing them when we downed the thing, but eh, two birds with one stone, I suppose. I wouldn't even have been mad about it, if my darling reporter here hadn't almost been hurt in the crash," The Joker moved behind you, making you seize up as he grasped your shoulders, massaging them slightly. "And really, Bats, if this is some kind of jealousy thing, you could always just ask to share."

"You're insane." Batman spat.

"Babes, you really need to get some better material," The Clown tutted. "And I was being honest! I'm actually trying to communicate here," You were suddenly spun around, locking eyes with your hero. You shuddered as the Joker nuzzled you from behind, unable to stop your face from heating up. "What do you think, darling? How's about a three-way date with me and the big bad Bat?"

"I… I-I-" You stuttered, unable to get a coherent thought put as you burned with embarrassment.

Could anyone blame you for having a little crush on Batman? You'd bet a good majority of Gothamites felt the same toward their dear Dark Knight. Hell, you'd even bet that some of the Rogues that the Caped Crusader went up against had feelings for him. It was pretty obvious the Joker did, at least.

And the Joker… He was a monster. A criminal. But, the time you've spent with him… Well, you could better understand how Dr. Quinnzel fell for the man. Despite your knowledge of the horrible crimes he committed, the way he treated you so kindly, it was hard to not get flustered, to not feel special. It was hard to ignore his humor, his affection for you, his pet names, his sweet gestures- no, no. This- this was ridiculous. You had to stop. You weren't thinking straight.

"Get your hands off of them!" The Bat spat.

"But I don't wanna!" Joker let out an exaggerated whine, before descending into giggles. Painted lips brushed against your neck. "Besides, I don't think they want me to…"

You felt hypersensitive, the brush of the Clown's lips drawing a whine from your throat.

Your eyes shot open wide as a pained scream ripped from Joker. You turned as best you could, watching the man stumble back, clutching his hand - a batarang sticking piercing through it, blood bubbling up from the wound and dripping to the floor.

The Joker hissed, bristling with rage. "Bats, why you-!"

In an instant, Batman shot put his batclaw, the claw digging into The Joker's suit, before retracting. The Joker stumbled as he rocketed forward, his face immediately colliding with Batman's fist. Before he could fall back, the Dark Knight caught him by the throat and squeezed. The Clown wheeled and coughed in shock at the closing of his windpipe and his desperation to breathe. The Bat slowly lifted another fist - and hit the other man so hard that even you winced. You watched as Joker fell onto his back with a low groan. The Batman stood above him, glowering and breathing heavily as he looked down on his nemesis.

"Batsy, babe… Ya know I love it when you play rough, but Jesus, warn a guy first, will ya?" The Joker laughed wearily, seemingly in a daze.

Sneering, Batman grabbed his nemesis by his coat, tossing him aside onto his stomach. His foot came down to stomp onto his arm, making the other man whimper, and the Bat reached down to rip the batarang free from his hand, and in turn, ripping a scream from Joker's throat. Pulling out a pair of batcuffs, the Caped Crusader roughly restrained the man's arms, before lifting him to his feet.

"Careful with the merchandise…" The Joker grumbled.

With a second pair of cuffs, the Bat attached one of the cuffs to the Joker's ankle, the Clown laughing as he attempted to kick at the Bat to heed his progress, and then the other to a metal support pillar protruding from the floor.

And then, in the next instant, Batman was at your side, diligently working to free you from the shackles that bound you. As the restraints loosened, you took in a deep breath before letting out a shuddering sigh. You tried to stand, only for your legs to give out from under you - you had spent so long in that position that your legs had fallen asleep - but it was okay. Batman caught you. He caught you and he held you and pulled you into a hug. A gloved hand petted your hair soothingly.

"It's okay. You're safe, you're okay," The Bat rumbled. "I've got you."

This. This was what you loved most about The Batman. As much as he was revered for the fear he struck into the heart of evil, how he acted as a phantom in the night, fighting back against the criminals that roamed Gotham in the night… What you loved most was what came after. Your interviews with survivors of criminal attacks are what made you grow a fondness for the Dark Knight. How comforting they said he was. How he reassured them, made them feel safe. When he was there, they knew everything was okay. They knew they were safe. That everything was going to be okay.

Everything was going to be okay.

And you melted into his hold.

He continued to murmur reassurances as he began to massage your legs until the static feeling went away and you found the strength to stand - and even then, he let you lean against him as you walked out into the night together.

"You'll pay for this, Bats," The Joker spat, expression dark… Until he locked eyes with you, and his visage softened. "How about same time next week, love?"

Before you could think of responding, Batman pulled out of the building and far, far away from the madman within.

---

Bruce had to fight to keep his driving steady. His body was flooded with adrenaline and his heart rabitted a mile a minute. His entire being felt electric.

He had touched you, held you. And you held him back, reassured and calmed by him. It was everything he had dreamed of. You had leaned against for support and let him help you climb into the batmobile.

He had managed to track The Joker down to one of his usual hideouts that he and Harley stayed at - an old, abandoned amusement park that had been sold to him. Well, would have been sold to him, if he hadn't killed the owner of the property before they could seal the deal.

He kept sneaking glances at you from the corner of his eye. You, resting your head against the window, eyes shut as you tried to get some rest after everything you had been through. You could rest for as long as you liked. He was here now. Bruce would keep you safe.

Bruce took his usual shortcut into the batcave, driving into a cave opening just outside the manor, and you lifted your head, startled by the sudden turn and shift in light behind your eyes.

"Batman, where are we?"

Home.

You gasped as restraints wrapped over your ligaments, tying you down to the seat.

Bruce knew this was wrong. But, after such a long career as the Batman, he had learned that he often had to do the wrong thing in order to get the right outcome. He really wished there was any other way… But, you had a target on your head now. You'd be safe with him. He'd keep you deep within the batcave and visit you often.

You sputtered, eyes wide with shock and disbelief and… Betrayal. Bruce hated the thought of you looking at him like that. He leaned over, softly pressing a kiss to your forehead. He felt you shiver under his touch.

He'd get you settled and comfortable. He'd reveal his true self to you at some point, but that was for later. You had been through enough for one night.

"You're safe now." Bruce lied promised. "I've got you."

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introloves · 4 years

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@virgoamajiki: hhnngggg no thoughts just boxer!bokuto fucking you senseless after seeing the other boxer he was supposed to fight that night flirting w/ u just to rile him up and throw him off his game.

— soft dom! bokuto + boxer! bokuto + mentions of harassment in the beginning + overstimulation / dumbification + size kink + comfort + praise + breath play + squirting + fluffy end + bokuto calls reader ‘puppy’ + f! reader

— word count; approx 2.6k

— part of my boxerverse! bokuto: one shot no. 1

he can’t blink back the images of you during the fight. the near deafening roars of his name all fadded into nothingness as he stalked towards his opponent- bokuto was dead set on putting him down.

the prick had really managed to get under his skin at the weigh in, picking you out- pointing directly at you and asking why you didn’t hop on over, he said you’d be better taken care of.

you’d sat there, wide eyed, clearly scared and taken back by his words. you only spared him a glance. instead turning with wide eyes at your boyfriend, now scared for the other man. frantic eyes shot up to look for his own- it was clear what you wanted, you looked scared and your face held a look that said;

“bo, please don’t.”

and usually, that look would disarm him completely- but not now- not now when he can see the way your eyes watered and lips trembled at the words.

he is sorry for not looking at you right away, sorry for not giving you the comfort you need-

but he’s not sorry for lunging over to the other side, barreling straight past staff that looked minuscule compared to his towering form. microphones clashing onto the floor with clear intent.

it’s complete chaos, bokutos manager grabbing him, holding him back down onto the seat, hissing in his ear that he’ll have a chance to go at him, “in the ring.”

you sit, dazed by the clamor and rapid snapping of cameras that bathe the two of you like a shower of pure light.

but he sits back down, hand clamped over your thigh, squeezing you, using your body as a stress ball. he can’t even look at his opponent, amber eyes focused on nothing more than your trembling knee- koutarou truly thinks he might kill him.

when he finally enters the ring, it doesn’t take long for the bastard to get dropped. its almost comical how short the match ends— usually bokuto would have put a little more show into it, letting him take a couple of hits before handling it, dragging it out to fluff his ego, showing everyone that he was the king, but not now.

as soon as his opponent is down, spread out on the white canvas- he steps once towards the body— pushed away by the referee in panic with the way he looms over him a little longer than necessary. the referee looking over at his teams side, shoving him back into his corner before calling the end of the match.

he lets his body get shoved into his corner, scoffing at the way the man lays there... pathetic.

bokuto doesnt even react to the roars of the crowd- walks past his team and into the locker rooms.

it feels like it takes forever to get back to you, normally you’d be at the ringside, but for this round he didn’t want you there and you not being able to do that, especially for a fight like this has you on edge. waiting for your koutarou to come home. the tension is almost suffocating when you finally hear the door slam closed.

you know hes not mad at you, thats not who the shake of the house is directed at. bokuto has always been a gentle giant with you— an overexcited, loving, and sweet giant.

he walks straight into the room, tugging off his shirt, shorts, leaving a trail of clothes as he makes a beeline right to you. there’s a deep want, need to have you, it feels like someone’s pressing down onto his chest- a tight ball of... anger and fear swirling around there.

it softens when he see’s you though, cuddled up on the bed, eyes lidded as you smile at him, welcoming him home. when he touches you, your body still warm from an almost sleep, he feels the sharp edges of anger melt away. there was no need for him to angry or scared at the words his opponent had thrown your way- he wasn’t the one about to fuck you to sleep... but the small tingle of fear and anger didn’t leave him completely.

“baby.” you murmur, hands outstretched to bring him into your space, the big body of his instantly melting down to your form, elbows perched on either side of your head- trapping you completely in.

“saw you drop him... first round.” voice heavy with lust and want, he was so strong and powerful and all yours. legs drop down onto the bed to let him in, ready for him, waiting for him.

“yeah, had to.” bokuto responds back, whispering it against your lips before he kisses you, licking into your mouth with heavy strokes of his tongue, all but tracing his name onto the front of your teeth.

“he scared you didnt he?” he growls, hissing at the way your heat wiggles to find his cock. bokuto shifts to hold the weight of his upper body on just one arm, slipping a hand down to tug your bottoms off.

“mhm.” you whimper back, gripping onto his shoulders, body jerking with every pull.

“did you see how i took care of him, pretty thing?” kou spits, pulse quickening at the wetness that meets his knuckle, trailing the back of his hand up your cunt before slipping a finger against your folds, splitting them open to briefly glance at your exposed pussy.

“fuck- course you did, thats why you’re so wet, huh?”

you cant really say anything, because he was right- seeing him knock that man out with one punch, straight to the jaw, sent heat flooding through your veins, proof of it formed in the shape of pure slick painting the outside of your cunt, between your thighs, pooling in your bottoms. its kinda silly, he knows what he does to you, knows you love watching him in his element, eyes hardened and face laxed in total concentration and an air of cockiness to him when he steps in the ring. he knows you love it, cause you’re always drooling into your panties when he comes to you after a match.

“real wet.” he marvels once more, sinking a finger all the way down to the knuckle and all you can do in response is open your legs wider, tilting yourself up to show him how ready and receptive you were for him.

“good girl.” his voice is tight and low- something like a growl with the way you move against his one finger. its enough to snap the string of self restraint he had, pure unbridled energy bouncing off him as he departs from you- just for a second, to kiss you harshly.

its a mix of tongue, spit, and teeth- strings of your passion still hanging from between the two as he leans back to look at your form, wiggling around in need of him.

its okay, he thinks, he’ll give you what you want.

and he does, doesn’t take long for him to grab the base of his thick and heavy cock, letting it slap against your cunt a couple times before squeezing the head of him inside- nice and snug. it makes him lightheaded, he cant think of anything but you- a fever crawls up his sculpted back, a need to just sink in and fuck you silly, but he wants something from you first.

“who do you belong to puppy?” he inquires gruffly, not moving an inch, watching the way you blink up at him through tears.

“w-what?” its sudden, your sweet and kind bo almost never talked like this in bed, it makes you salivate, a heat flushing down your back.

“c’mon- tell me who you belong to.” he hisses once more, splaying one of his big, strong, veiny hands across your chest, pushing down- locking you against the bed.

he still hasn’t moved, and the fluttering of your pussy down on the head of his dick makes him grunt- muscled stomach tensing with each one. he comes back to you- a little softer in the way his words sound, carrying that sweetness you know and love.

“please, tell me you’re mine.” he whispers, moving the hand that had you pinned down up towards your neck, rough callouses rubbing against the soft and sensitive skin there.

its a juxtaposition of kind, vulnerable words mixing in with the harsher movements of his strong hand curling against your airway, frantic in the need to hear it from you.

you know what he needs, and you’re more than happy to comply, wanting nothing more than to make him feel better. your hand moves up to wrap around his wrist, pulling him in close, eyes burning with hot tears forming there at the lack of blood- but you continue, till the next words are all but hissed, high and tight.

“yours, i’m all yours koutarou, my king.”

there isn’t anything he could have done to prepare for that, he stutters, chokes on the lust heavy in his chest, he feels like there’s molten want dripping down his veins- swirling into a tight ball at the pit of his stomach.

all he can do is rear back, hips lifting off you, popping the head of him out and you nearly whine, nearly ask him whats wrong before he slams down in one hard and desperate stroke, catching the skin of your cunt harshly, but its okay- there would have been no way you’d survive in a relationship with him if you didn’t like a little pain.

when his hips make contact with your cunt, puffy lips giving him cushion- he grinds down, smashing your clit down against his pubes.

eyes shut tight, a choked sob tumbling from your lips in response, head teetering back onto the bed.

“koutarou! fuck! fuck!” words high and staccato-ed are echoed out into the room, he feeds off the broken syllables of his name tumbling from your lips.

he looks at you while he squeezes his fingers against the thrum of your quickened pulse underneath his hand- watching your eyes roll back, the whites of them on clear display as lips part, a silent scream painted onto the moments of your face-

the bed groans, creaks with each crushing thrust he gives you, drilling you down into the bed.

“keep saying my name puppy, keep saying it.” he grunts looking at you with a feverish and concentrated gaze, affected in how well you stroke his ego, chest feeling incredibly full, the prickle of his orgasm starts, but there was /no/ way he’d come before his baby.

the hand that wasn’t wrapped around your throat sweeps down your arching body until his thumb finds your twitching clit- immediately pressing down on it with enough force that his thumb turns white. it rips a scream straight from the center of your chest and your body starts seizing up.

he huffs out a laugh when he sees the way your hips cant up off the bedding- it nearly pushes him back, but he stays unwavering, following the movement of your spasming body.

“koutarou!” his name leaves your mouth in the form of a wail while he batters your cunt, you don’t even know you’re moving the way you are- hands falling to rest pitifully against your head.

“ah- that’s my girl.” bokuto beams, seeing the splash of your cum arch all the way up to hit his tummy- abs glistening with every contraction as his hips drill into you- he gives in, taking the thumb that had been squeezing your clit down onto your body and sticking it into his mouth, watching you with lidded eyes as he licks the cum off his hand, all while keeping your neck pinned down and chasing the frantic movements of your hips.

there’s no immediate reaction from you when he picks up your legs- weak with the strain you’ve put them under, and folds them up to your chest.

the only thing you do is intake a lungful of air, dazed eyes looking up at him- not knowing how he got so close to your face.

it’s the first slap of his heavy balls against your ass that makes you come back from it all-

“p-please!!” you cry, eyes wide. the force of him still pistoning into you makes your body bounce off the shaking bed, and thanks to the squirting orgasm he fucked out of you with his thick cock- building a near searing sensitivity into the walls of your cunt and clit, you cum once more. it’s the final break into a headspace that has you twitch and flail your legs, wiggling against the hold of his arms.

“yeah- good girl.” bokuto grits out, a bead of sweat drips off his face onto your own, and thankfully- it’s what he needs to cum. his eyes are frantic as he watches you- swollen lips, face turned relaxed as you squeeze down around him, looking like the image of fucked stupid.

with the a final resounding smack of his hips into you, his cock jumps, swelling, growing snug inside you before he dumps an almost obscene amount of cum into you.

small twitches of your body lets him know you feel it, his head falls down to land against your chest, keeping you folded as he grits his teeth.

it takes rapid, hard blinks of his eyes to not let tears fall down onto his face. he’s shaky as he finally sits back up, making sure to bring your thighs down gently.

“kou-“ you choke out, looking for him-

he responds by finding your limp hands, still lying up by your head- slotting thick fingers and broad hands into your own.

“‘m right here.” koutarou nearly wheezes out, still reeling from an orgasm that he can still feel.

“that felt good.” your voice is airy and sweet- pitchy and laced with love.

for the second time that night- he laughs, shaking his head while he slips his softened cock out of you.

he picks you up, scooping your trembling form into swollen muscles- keeping you nice and tight against a hard torso.

“you make me feel good.” he whispers into your hair, not caring about the trail of hot cum that leaks out of your fucked out cunt, trails of it running down his leg while he places you on his chest, laying the both of you down.

holding you tight like this, sweat mingling together, residue of cum and tears painting eachothers bodies- he knows there was nothing he should have ever been worried about.

he didn’t have to worry about protecting or loosing you- bodies intertwined, locked into one another proved that you took care of him, gentle hands tracing your name onto the skin of his chest.

“i’m all yours koutarou.” you whisper, nearly falling into the heaviness of sleep.

he once again blinks back the need to cry- he could take all the punches in the world, not even blink, but he was so weak for you.

“yeah... i’m all yours too.” his voice is tender, shaky with emotion, arms squeezing around you tight.

he really was.

#bokuto #bokuto koutarou #bokuto koutarou smut #bokuto smut #haikyuu smut #bokuto x reader smut #bokuto x reader #bokuto x y/n #bokuto x you #haikyuu x reader smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #one shot #au #smut

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pastaimpact · 3 years

Note

Since ur a catboy and maid simp 👀👀👀👀

Catboy maid headcanons for xiao, scaramouche, zhongli, kaeya and diluc?

Like, they lost a bet and have to drink a potion from albedo that turns them into catboy maid or smth pls?

-mac bulli anon

if u see me rotting, no u didnt

Xiao’s displeased by the transformation, but he has better things to do than to get worked up by a small thorn in his side. He has evil spirits to get rid off, and archons be damned if he’s going to let a pair of furry ears and a tail get in the way of his duty. It’s an odd sight, seeing him swing around his jade spear with his mask on, only to be moe-fied by his ears.

He insists on carrying out his own duties, saying that your selfish desires to have him as your maid won’t overrule his original contract to Rex Lapis. Chances are, you won’t even get him into the maid outfit before he goes running off to dispel some spirits. It can’t be helped: Xiao is someone who values Liyue’s peace before he values anything else, although he does feel a bit fuzzy inside when he sees how ecstatic you are over how cute he looks.

If he does find a moment of reprieve, that’s your best chance to capitalize on his transformation. Xiao claims that he needs no attention or extra love from you, that he’s a yaksha who works alone out of fear of harming you, but he’s still someone who craves for the gentle touch of a fellow being. Tell him that he’s done a good job and that you’re proud of him while cupping his face, and next thing you know, he’ll have slotted himself against your body and tell you that this isn’t necessary, all while his tail wags around happily. Archons forbid that anyone tries to interrupt your cuddling session, because he’ll start hissing like an actual cat the moment your attention is turned away from him.

Xiao purred against your skin, his head resting on the area in between your shoulder and neck. He was always cat-like to begin with: coy, distance, but still gentle and affectionate at the right times. You fondled his ears the way he liked them, and his tail curled up in satisfaction.

“What a pretty kittycat you are,” you cooed, your voice low and calm, like the careful trills of a lullaby. “Always working so hard... Always caring for someone other than yourself... What a good boy.”

“...Keep going,” he murmured, scooting closer to you when you stopped petting him for a second. You let a smile grace your lips as you stroked his soft fur again, enjoying the way the catboy immediately relaxed against you.

How adorable.

Scaramouche is livid, to say the least, by this change. He’s a Fatui Harbinger, and someone who demands nothing short of utmost respect and authority from those around him. Being demoted to not only a servant, but not even a human one at that, is a stain against his spotless, untouchable command.

The entire time he’s placed under your care, he grumbles and snaps at everything that comes his way. He mutters that you should be grateful he’s even putting up with this, and he might just flat-out refuse to do the things you ask of him—until you tell him that you’ll ask someone else, like Signora or Childe. Only then does he come scrambling back to you with a pout on his face and his ears pressed against his head to scold you and say that he could do a better job than any of those sloppy Harbingers could.

He also threatens you, saying that you owe him for humiliating him like this, but he also forgets all about being mean to you the moment you start petting his ears and scratching behind them. Scaramouche swears on his life that he hates being treated like this, but the way he clings to you and purrs loudly clearly says otherwise. He’ll get huffy and frown if you stop petting him, so be prepared for him to completely monopolize your time.

“I hate you for this,” he hissed, practically bristling in your lap. You bit back a laugh, feeling the way he wrapped his arms tightly around your torso, pulling himself as close as he could to your chest. “You’re terrible.”

“It’s ‘You’re terrible, Master’ to you,” you teased, burying your fingers in his hair to tease his ears. The Harbinger opened his mouth as if to snap back at you with a haughty remark, but he immediately melted into your touch instead, giving soft mewls and twisting his head against your skin so that he could feel more of your touch.

“I-I still hate you,” he grumbled, forcing himself to frown at you and huff. He dug his nails into your clothes, settling his chin on your shoulder so that you couldn’t see the blush rising to his cheeks. “Master.”

Zhongli has seen his fair share of oddities, being an archon and all, so he’s grown to get used to whatever life throws at him all while honoring his own approach to life and any traditions he upholds. While being transformed into a cat and a maid, for that matter, is surprising, it’s probably nothing more than a mild inconvenience to a god that once held the ability to shift into a variety of different forms.

He’s a skilled and knowledgeable man, so he’s more than willing to assist you in a variety of topics. His one condition while being placed under your care is that you treat him with the same respect you would show him at any other time. While he may be relatively polite and mild-mannered, he still was a very potent and feared God of War at one point in his life. He doesn’t expect much from you; just drop any funny business around him, and he’ll entertain you for hours with his knowledge about politics, arts, and other fine subjects.

Zhongli is good about keeping his emotions in check, and even with cat ears and a tail, it’s still fairly difficult to gauge how he truly feels. Of course, his new body does betray him every now and then: a flick of his tail to signify intrigue, ears pressed against his head for annoyance, a twitch of his nose for interest. It’s best not to tease him or pry into how he feels whenever he does make an odd movement, but it wouldn’t hurt to present yourself appropriately depending on whatever mood he’s in based off of his little actions. Besides, it’s not everyday that you can see someone as respected and feared as Zhongli in a cute maid dress with his tail swishing excitedly behind him.

His entrance was quiet, and the only thing that even signaled his presence in the room was the rustle of fabric as he walked towards you. His tail was still, and his ears perked up like it had been for the day, ever since he downed the transformation potion. “I brought you tea.”

You looked up from your paperwork, smiling softly at the former archon. You pulled a stray chair close to where you were seated, inviting him to sit down as he set the teacup down in front of you. “You shouldn’t have!”

He shook his head, his ears twitching with the slightest hint of satisfaction as he sat down. “It was about time you took a break. I thought I would remind you not to push yourself too far by bringing you something to relax with. Do drink up; I brewed it myself with prized leaves.”

Kaeya’s all about staying a step ahead of the game, and the moment fluffy cat ears and a tail sprout up on his body, there’s a good chance that he’s already found loads of ways to capitalize on his features to get what he wants. The best way to get information from anyone is to get them to let their guard down, and it’s hard to be intimidated by someone who looks like a stuffed animal.

Which is exactly what he does. There’s a good chance that Kaeya’s been observing you for a while, for whatever reasons he might have (be it personal or for the Knights of Favonius), so he’ll definitely use his cat features to his advantage. He’ll snuggle up to you and let you relax by teasing you with his tail and his ears, and he’ll let his silvery tongue do the rest as he extracts bits and pieces of information from you like he was extracting honey from a beehive.

Kaeya rocks the whole maid concept better than anyone else. Flexibility and adaptability are just a few of his many strong suits, and he might even go along with playing pretend with you just out of the goodwill of his heart. He’s extorted you already for loads of intel, so the least he can do to get you to keep staying so lax around him is to humor you just a bit. It’s also a good chance to see you smiling and laughing as you bury your head into his hair, and it sure doesn’t hurt to hear you gush over how much of a majestic catboy he is.

You felt his fluffy tail slink against your arms, Kaeya splayed out across your lap with the most smug smile you’ve ever seen from him. “Awwww, your tail is so cute! I wish I could just hold it and fall asleep! It feels just like a cloud!”

“Does it now, Master?” Kaeya purred, batting his eyeslashes. It had only been about fifteen minutes since he barged into your room to show off his cat features, and he had already gotten enough info about you to entertain him for weeks. “You can pet me more, if you’d like.”

You lit up, completely oblivious to the fact that Kaeya had you wrapped around his little finger. You were far too innocent, too careless even, and Kaeya found it amusing. “Oh, Kaeya! You’re the best!”

Diluc’s also fairly annoyed by this mess, but he isn’t one to viciously fight against what’s already happened. It is rather irritating to have to put all of his responsibilities aside for another day, but he’s capable businessman who’s used to having to adapt to all sorts of situations. Being turned into the catmaid is by far not the worst of his problems, but it’s enough of a change to actually make him think about how he presents himself not only to you but the people of Mondstadt as well.

He has maids around his winery, so he mimics his ow behavior with what he wants of them. Of course, you don’t make him cook or clean or anything like that, and similarly to Zhongli, he makes sure to treat you with respect as long as you do the same. Diluc’s a very pragmatic man, and he simply takes his duty as a maid to keep you out of trouble, accompanying you whenever you need to head out to protect you from stray monsters or helping you with any finances that you might have to sort out.

His only request is that he doesn’t let anyone outside of his immediate circle know about his current affliction. The last thing he needs is his reputation as a respectable tycoon tarnished, and he sure as hell doesn’t need Kaeya strolling around to mess with him. If it incentivizes you to keep the whole temporary catmaid thing under wraps, he’ll tell you that it can be a little secret between the two of you. It’s best that you give him your word, lest you end up on the wrong side of his stoic mannerisms.

“Good work today,” you remarked, offering up a meek smile to the Dawn Winery owner. “It must have been a lot of work. You know, having to deal with the whole transformation thing while running a business.”

Diluc glanced momentarily you, his ears pressing against his head. You wasn’t sure if it was out of annoyance or shyness, but you decided that it was the latter, as Diluc hadn’t walked away from you just yet. “It’s fine. Albedo said it should wear off any day now.”

“Mmm. But still, if you ever need help from me, let me know, okay? I know I’m your ‘master’ temporarily, but we’re still friends,” You laughed. The corners of Diluc’s mouth twitched as he turned away.

“Goodnight then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #xiao #scaramouche #zhongli #kaeya #diluc #g/n reader #serving the macaroni

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nah-she-didnt · 3 years

Text

JILY AUGUST CHALLENGE | @nah-she-didnt vs @floreatcastellumposts

summer + ok so I almost drowned in the sea whilst body boarding and yeah you saved me but hEY don’t laugh

Read here or on AO3

Lily Of The Sea

Absolutely mental. He must have been absolutely mental to agree to any part of this.

First, there was the fact that he had chosen to spend a week in Wales with Remus when he should have been training for football season. That decision alone would surely ruin his life when he showed up back at school completely out of shape and got booted from the team.

Second, while James liked spending time with one of his best mates, Wales was bloody boring. Remus lived in a charming little cottage with his charming parents in a charming town that had absolutely nothing for a couple of teenage boys to do. There wasn’t even a damn cinema for them to waste away in for the summer. Really, how did people live like this? It was only out of sheer boredom that he’d agreed to spend the day at the beach in the first place. He usually made it a point to avoid the beach at all costs, but these were desperate times indeed.

Herein lay James’ third, and stupidest, decision. He must have been absolutely bloody mental to agree to wade out into the frigid mass of water before him that was the sea.

He turned to throw Remus another reproachful look. “Do I have to do this?”

“Yes!” Remus called over from his spot on the shore. He looked perfectly content, and dry, as he watched James’ slow march to his certain death. “Your fear of open water is, frankly, embarrassing. It’s high time you nipped it in the bud.”

James winced as the water lapped at his shins, blistering his sun-warmed skin with icy cold. “I thought you said you were right behind me?”

Remus grinned. “Oh, you don’t need me. You’re doing brilliantly.” James couldn’t help but notice the mirth in his friend’s voice.

It was true, he did harbor an embarrassing fear of the sea. And why shouldn’t he? The water was so dark you could barely see three inches below the surface. Surely some unknown horror came closer with every step.

James swore loudly. “Rem, I hate this. It’s bloody freezing!”

“It’s the Irish Sea, what do you expect?”

“Damn the Irish then!”

“Mate, you’re English, I don’t think you’re allowed to say that.”

And so, James plowed onward, cursing Remus under his breath. The water was now up to his knees. He could feel the hair on his legs standing at attention as goosebumps emerged from his skin.

However, as he became more and more submerged, something in James began to change. The water was so cold it nearly took his breath away but it also filled him with a new resolve. It wasn’t so bad, really. He could do this.

With that thought, he plunged forward, brought his hands together above his head, and dove straight into an oncoming wave.

He hadn’t been prepared for how quiet underwater was. He was vaguely aware of the wave crashing above his head, but the force of it merely rocked him backward gently. He tried his best to open his eyes but the saltwater stung so fiercely that he shut them tight again. After a few moments of floating beneath the waves, James found his feet below him again and pushed up toward the surface.

He heard Remus’ triumphant whoop as his head broke the surface. He straightened up, embarrassed to find that the water was only about three feet deep, and shook his hair out of his eyes like a dog. “There,” he shouted in Remus’ direction, “I’ve done it. Now, will you come out here with me, please? I don’t need a bloody babysitter.”

Remus sighed loudly. “Yeah alright. Plus, if you drown, I’m sure you’d rather be saved by a fit lifeguard than by me.”

“Too true.”

They spent the next half hour lounging in the water. It was still freezing cold, but James found that it did not bother him so much now. The sun, in a rare moment of favor, had decided to shine bright and warm on the beach today. Remus showed James how to lie back and float so that his top half could be drenched in warmth while his back half rocked with the waves. The effect was actually quite lovely. Perhaps he wasn’t so mental after all.

It was at this very moment that he heard the muffled sound of a whistle.

“Wha-?” James said stupidly as he sat up from his float, pulling his head and ears out of the water so that he could hear properly, “what was that? Remus?”

But Remus was gone. It was only then that James realized how far he had floated from the safety of the beach. He was at least twenty yards away from the shore now, and Remus was not only a few feet away as he previously thought. James whipped his head around frantically. “Remus!”

“Riptide!” Remus’ voice called from somewhere behind him. He turned to see his friend scrambling up the beach through the surf. “Swim parallel to the beach! Now!”

Shit.

This was why he avoided the ocean. What the hell was a riptide? It certainly didn’t sound good.

James flapped his arms wildly as he swam, trying his best to stay parallel to the shore. Now he could feel the pull of the water on his body, coaxing him further and further out into the vast sea. He had to keep swimming. He had to, otherwise how on earth would he be able to murder Remus?

“You’re a bloody bastard, you know that?” James screamed to his friend as he fought against the sea, “You made me come out here!” He was closer to the shore now, almost at the wave breakpoint, only ten yards from where Remus stood.

“I know, I know, keep going!” Remus called, “You’re almost there.”

James fought with all his might to keep swimming. He really was out of shape after all, but he forced the thought from his mind as he struggled. Nearly there.

Finally, he made it back to the shallows. He stood with a great effort and began to stagger drunkenly toward Remus. “I can’t believe you left me out there alone! You smug toss-”

WHAM.

The wave hit James squarely in the back, knocking him hard into the rough, rocky beach.

His cheek caught the edge of a sharp rock. He felt his skin rip and sting fiercely, but he had bigger problems before him. The strength of the retreating wave was dragging him, helplessly, back into the deep. He tried to stand but he had no idea which way was up. The fall had knocked the wind out of him, and for a moment he truly wondered if he was about to drown.

Then, suddenly, there was warmth. Hands - yes, small, warm hands - wrapped protectively around his chest. Then there were arms, a torso pressed against his back. The last thing he felt before everything went dark was the mysterious body pulling him up, up, up.

...

“Is he dead?”

“Don’t be daft.”

“I’m not. Look at him. He looks dead.”

“He’s not dead, you idiot. He’s breathing just fine. What did you leave him out there for? He can barely swim.”

“We were floating! I didn’t know how far he’d drifted.”

The first thing James noticed was the warmth. His whole body tingled with a warm glow in sharp contrast to the freezing water. The water. Where was the water?

James snapped his eyes open. Two blurry faces swam above him. Remus, who looked concerned, but James only had eyes for the other face that hovered above him. A girl’s face. A very pretty girl’s face.

James blinked. “Am I dead?”

“Apparently not,” Remus sighed, “Christ, James, you really know how to make a scene.”

James barely heard this comment. The girl continued to stare at him, her brow furrowed. She didn’t look all that excited to find that he was alive. The more she looked at him, the more James felt that he’d seen this girl somewhere before.

“Who are you?” He whispered up to her. He hadn’t meant to say it, but he still wasn’t sure that she was not a dream.

“Hold still.” She spoke with a practiced, authoritative voice as she turned away from him to rummage through a red bag at her side. She withdrew a white package that she tore open with her teeth, pulled out a wet cloth, and brought it to his face.

James gasped as the cut on his cheek seared with pain. “Ouch! Blimey, what is that?”

“Rubbing alcohol,” she said, again with that focused voice, “don’t want it getting infected. What month is it?”

“Uh-”

“Evans, let him rest,” Remus protested, “he’s just had a shock.”

The girl shook her head. “We’ve got to make sure he’s not concussed. The month, Potter, what month is it?”

“August,” he said stupidly, “it’s August.”

“Who’s the Prime Minister?”

“Wilson.”

“What’s your name?”

“James Potter, what’s yours?”

This seemed to surprise her. The look of concentration slid from her face as she regarded him cautiously. “Lily.”

James squinted up at her with curiosity. “Of the valley?”

Get it together, you prat said a voice in his head, what a stupid thing to-

To his surprise, she smiled, and his heart did a backflip. “Yeah, sure.” Then she shook her head as if to rid herself of the distraction. “You’re going to be fine. Can you stand?”

James nodded and allowed Remus to pull him roughly to his feet. He steadied himself and reached instinctively up to his throbbing cheek. Lily smacked his hand away.

“What did I just say about infection? Blimey, maybe you are concussed.”

James wracked his throbbing brain. Everything was still a bit fuzzy, but now he was sure that he’d seen this girl before. “How did you know my name?”

Lily shot Remus a knowing look. “We go to school together. In Scotland. Remember?”

James felt his cheeks grow hot. That’s how he knew her, he’d seen Remus hanging around with a cute redhead before. “Ah - yeah, ‘course. Sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

She shrugged as she bent down to pack up her first aid kit. “Why would you? I’m not a footballer, not a posh kid, no big deal.”

James frowned. “I have plenty of friends who aren’t footballers or ‘posh kids,’” he said as he made quotation marks with his fingers. It was hard to keep the defensive edge out of his voice. She made him sound quite shallow. He motioned earnestly toward his friend. “Take Remus over here.”

“Thanks, mate.”

“Anytime.”

“Look,” Lily straightened back up, a look of annoyance on her face, “I’m sure you’ve got lots of friends and all, I just meant that we don’t exactly run in the same crowd.”

“But you know Remus. I heard you call him an idiot before.” James glanced at Remus, who looked like he wasn’t sure if he should stay for this tense conversation or disappear back into the safety of the water. “He only lets his very best friends call him that.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. “Really? His friends sound swell.”

Remus, still looking uncomfortable, finally cut in. “We knew each other before school,” he said quickly, looking from James to Lily, “from when we were kids.”

Lily nodded. She was starting to look downright testy now, but James could not for the life of him figure out why. “I used to spend the summers here with my aunt, and we met as kids. We used to go swimming on this beach all the time.” Her face softened at the memory. “It was lovely, actually. I used to love to swim. Haven’t had much time for it lately, until today.”

“Why not?” James persisted. It seemed that every question he asked did nothing more than to elevate her already defensive mood. He couldn’t help it, he had to keep talking to her. Had to keep making her cheeks flush like that.

Lily jerked her head back toward the lifeguard stand. “Don’t have much time, I spent most of my days working here ‘till sunset.”

“Ah,” James pulled what he hoped looked like a sympathetic face, “I see. Not a fun way to spend a holiday, I can imagine.”

Very unfortunately this seemed to be the worst thing he could have possibly said.

“Yeah, well. Some of us have to work to live.” She caught Remus’ eye and said with purpose, “Right. I’ll see you at school, Remus.” And with that, she turned and stalked away, leaving a very stunned James in her wake.

...

“You really cocked that up, huh?.”

“Cheers.”

“No, I mean it. Now she probably thinks you’re some stuck-up, rich brat. Really excellent job on that one.”

“I’m leaving.”

Remus laughed as he grabbed James’ elbow and pulled him back down to sit on the beach. “Christ, you’re touchy today. I’m sorry I almost let you drown, alright?”

James stared out over the glowing pink water. The sea was no less ominous even in the light of the early sunset. He could still feel the waves lapping at his shins, the force of the water smacking his bare back, the pull of the water as he struggled beneath the waves…

He shook his head at the memory. He was safe now, anyway. Thanks to Lily.

“Do you think I’m a stuck up, rich brat?” He refused to look at Remus as he asked the question. Instead, he picked up a large, rough stone and chucked it into the water.

Remus put a hand on his shoulder. “No James, I don’t think that. I think you’re a kind, loyal, and caring rich brat.”

James laughed. “Cheers, mate.”

“Anytime.”

“Give her some time and Lily will see it too. Speaking of...” Remus nodded in the direction behind James.

He turned to see Lily Evans walking toward them. She had pulled a pair of denim shorts over her red lifeguard’s bathing suit, slung a large blue tote bag over her shoulder, and held a half-melted vanilla ice cream cone in each hand.

“Hiya,” she offered as she took a seat next to Remus. James couldn’t tell if it was nerves or embarrassment that kept her from meeting his eyes. “These are for you two. I’m sorry I was a bit harsh before. I mean, you did almost drown, after all.”

James smiled as he accepted the ice cream. “Thanks. And thanks for this, too.”

Remus, however, waved her away as she offered him the cone. “No thanks, I don’t eat dairy.”

James frowned. “You love dairy. I’ve seen you put away an entire wheel of brie in under ten minutes.”

Remus shook his head and stood up, stretching. “No, really. Can’t stand the stuff. I better go find something else more digestible, leave you two alone to talk.”

Lily shot him a dirty look. Remus could not be more transparent if he tried. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

But Remus was already walking back up the beach. “Too late, see you in a bit!”

“Rem!” James called to his friend, but he merely waved his arm wildly over his head in farewell.

They sat in silence for a few moments with only the crashing of the waves to break the tension. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. James watched her fidget as he finished his cone. He wondered if it were uncomfortable to sit in those shorts with the back of her legs pressed against the small, jagged rocks that made up the beach. But he couldn’t let himself think for too long about her legs.

“So,” she broke the silence with what sounded like a great effort, “why can’t you swim?”

James sighed. “Oh, let’s just say it’s none of your concern,” he couldn’t bring himself to admit something so embarrassing, “why don’t you like posh kids?”

Lily, to his surprise, laughed. “None of your concern.”

“Are you sure about that? Since I’m apparently an insufferable rich kid maybe I can provide an inside scoop.”

Lily did not laugh this time. Instead, she stared out over the ocean, her vivid green eyes suddenly orange, reflecting the sunset’s light in the choppy water. “I’ve got a friend from school. Well, a friend from home, really. He’s like me, doesn’t have a lot of - of money, and stuff.” She was starting to shift even more now, clearly uncomfortable. James opened his mouth to stop her, but she plowed on. “He made some not-so-nice friends at school. They care a lot about status and all that, so he doesn’t want them to know anything about his home life. Doesn’t want them to know about me.”

James blinked. He’d known this girl only two hours, and he’d seen her in about fourteen different emotional states. He was quite sure he liked them all and wanted to see even more.

“That bullshit,” he said emphatically, “if he doesn’t value you then he’s an idiot. What a prat, giving up a true friend just to social climb.”

Lily smiled sadly. “You’re right, of course. Still hurts, but you’re right.” She shrugged, trying but failing to seem unphased. “Anyway, I think that’s why I was a bit, uh, prickly earlier. Forgive me?”

James just waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I’d be prickly too if it were me. He sounds like a disappointment.” He smiled at shyly, glad that they were approaching something like a friendly conversation, “plus, Remus assured me it wasn’t my finest moment either.”

She smiled again, and another shockwave shot through James’ body. “I forgive you. Friends?”

“Friends with the girl who saved my life? Absolutely.”

Silence fell between them again, but this time the air around them seemed more relaxed. Lily seemed to have found a comfortable position at last. She sat with her legs crossed and her hands placed on the ground behind her, propping her up toward the sea. She had her eyes closed and her head leaned back like she was savoring every roaring crash of waves or whiff of sea air.

“How can you not just love the sea,” she sighed, leaning her head back even further as she sunk into her surroundings, “I don’t know what I’d do without it.”

A few seconds passed before James realized that, at some point, he would have to stop staring at her to answer. “I guess it’s just not for me. You make it look pretty good, though. The sea, I mean.” he said quickly. Very smooth.

Lily, thankfully, ignored his comment. “Tell me the truth,” she turned her head to fix him with an intense look, “why don’t you like the ocean? I shared my trauma, now it’s your turn.”

James sighed. “Alright, I suppose I owe you. I’ve got to warn you, it’s pretty embarrassing.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Try me.”

James paused, trying to decide at the last moment if there was any possible way to tell her the truth and still be respectable in her eyes. There wasn’t.

Finally, he looked at her. “Have you ever seen a movie called ‘Jaws’?”

She pursed her lips, obviously trying not to smile. “Uh, yeah James. I think everyone’s seen that one.”

“Well,” he closed his eyes, preparing for her worst, “I had nightmares for weeks. I don’t know why, but it really got me. I could barely walk through campus puddles on a rainy day. Kept thinking some bloody shark or something was gonna come up, grab my ankle, and pull me in.” He opened one eye to cautiously scan her reaction. “Well? I’m mad, aren’t I?”

He was shocked to find that she was not laughing. Not much, anyway.

“It’s a completely rational fear,” she said thoughtfully, staring out across the blazing water. The sun was almost entirely set now, and soon they’d be engulfed in night. “It’s the fear of the unknown, innit? The anxiety that there’s something unseen lurking around the corner. It’s why people are afraid of spiders and centipedes. All the hidden things that might be there to hurt you. It’s why we wish we could see the future, to be sure that everything is going to turn out alright.”

He knew she was right. He followed her gaze out over the waves. It wasn’t the water that scared him. Wasn’t the searing cold, the slippery rocks underfoot as he plunged further and further into the deep. It was the unknowing, the darkness below him that scared him shitless. “Lily Evans, you are very wise.”

“I know.”

They were silent again, but not uncomfortably so. A strange sense of serenity washed over him. He wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what was out there.

“I could help, you know,” Lily said without looking at him. Instead, she seemed very interested in picking at a hangnail on her thumb.

James raised his eyebrows. “Help me? With swimming?”

“Swimming, the sea, all of it,” she chanced a glance up at him. She really did have the most staggering green eyes he’d ever seen. “I’m pretty good out there, and you clearly need help.”

James laughed. “That bad, am I?”

She grimaced. “Yes, that bad.”

He sighed and glanced back toward the sea. The sun had fully started to set now, and the pink and orange waves looked as menacing as ever. “I dunno… I’m not keen to repeat my near-drowning.”

“Oh, come on,” she winked at him, “a strapping lad like yourself should have no problem swimming in there.”

Strapping? She thought he was strapping?

James forced himself to focus. “The sun’s almost set. What if it gets too dark to see?”

“So?” She pushed herself to her feet, then offered his hand to pull him up. “You can’t see through the water anyway. What’s a little more unknown going to hurt?”

She helped pull him to his feet then began unbuttoning her shorts. James had the self-control to look away, though his hands shook just a bit as he removed his own t-shirt. Together, fully outfitted in their swimsuits, they marched toward the now-purple water.

“Don’t worry, we’ll go slow,” she murmured as they reached the shoreline, “I’ll hold your hand through the whole thing.”

James smirked, “Figuratively, of course.”

As if to spite him, she grabbed his hand and squeezed hard. With a jolt, James remembered that very hand on his chest not two hours ago, pulling him up and out of the same water they charged into now.

“The trick,” Lily said decisively as she stared out at the breaking waves, “is to choose the right moment. You have to wade in past the break line between waves. If you time it wrong, you get creamed. That was your problem last time.”

“Thanks for the reminder.”

“No problem. Ready?”

“Actually,” James hastened, suddenly feeling sick. He wanted to drop her hand and run back, but he found that his skin felt glued to hers. “I think not. Thanks for the offer, but I’m fine being a coward for the rest of my life.”

“Not a chance!” She cried, gesturing out over the water, “Look how far you’ve come! You can’t go back now. I’m not going to let you drown.”

James tried to shoot her with a mischievous grin, but he knew it more closely resembled a grimace. “Promise?”

“Promise. Go!”

And so, Lily pulling at his hand, they sprinted out into the shallows together. The remains of the previous wave rushed merrily alongside their feet and legs as they sprinted into the water. James did not stop running until he could feel the water at his collar bones, his feet skimming the bottom of the seafloor. He felt around with his toes. No sharks or monsters as far as he could feel.

“See?” Lily laughed and splashed him a bit with water, “it’s not so bad. Jump!”

He turned to look just in time. A wave was coming at them fast. He barely had time to push off the ground to sail over it. The two of them soared through the water, over the wave, and back down again as it crashed onto the shore behind them. He laughed with glee and disbelief. His lungs felt icy cold as he gulped down air to keep himself from panicking. It felt like flying, and James suspected he’d been meant to fly all his life. This was easy. This was wonderful.

Suddenly, a wave larger than the rest descended upon them. “Alright, James,” came Lily’s confident voice as she squeezed his hand tighter, “we have to go under this one, alright?”

“What?” He just managed to yell before she pulled him under the wave. Again, there was that eerie stillness, only this time James wasn’t alone in the silence. Lily’s hand was still warm and sure in his own.

And so they flew through the water, dodging and riding and floating over the waves. It was exhausting work which was not made any easier by their fits of laughter every time the other received a faceful of icy water. Finally, when the sky had turned a deep navy, they dragged each other back out of the surf and onto the shore.

Brilliantly illuminated stars scattered across the night sky as they threw themselves back down on the beach. Lily reached into her large tote and produced a beach towel that they shared, taking turns to wipe the saltwater from their eyes and faces. They had barely talked the whole time they swam, just laughed, and gasped for air.

“See?” Lily sighed as she flopped back onto the beach towel, “I told you it’s lovely out there.”

“I stand corrected,” James said as he laid down next to her. He could see her chest and stomach rise and fall with the effort of breathing. “You were an excellent teacher. You’re not Lily of the valley, you’re Lily of the sea.”

She looked at him with a look that he’d come to learn meant she was about to make fun of him. “Have you been thinking of that line the whole time?”

“No!” James said with mock indignation, “No, it’s true. You made me see what all the fuss is about. Thank you.”

Lily grinned at him. She turned onto her side to face him, her head resting on her outstretched arm. He could see her freckles even in the dim light from the stars. He hardly stopped to think before he leaned in, his mouth inches from her own. He could feel her breath, still coming in sharp gasps, against his lips. “Do you think it would be alright if I kissed you?”

She smiled, and his whole body lit on fire. “I’m going to insist that you do, Potter.”

Her lips tasted like the sea. Her hair, when he took the back of her neck into his hand, was coarse and tangled from their swim. The shock of her warm hands on his cold, bare chest nearly caused him to cry out, and she smiled into him. God, she knew exactly what she was doing to him.

It was impossible to know how long they stayed entwined in one another. James had lost all sense of time and space. All he knew was Lily. He knew he could stay like this forever and be just fine.

Unfortunately, Remus had other plans.

“OI!” Came the shout from the darkness. Lily and James jumped apart in alarm. Remus stood a ways up the beach with his arms crossed. It was hard to tell in the dark, but James would bet anything that he was smirking. “You’re not snogging my best mate down there, are you?”

“No!” cried James and Lily in unison.

“That’s what I thought. I hate to break up the party, but James, we’ve got to move. Mum will flip if we get the car back late.”

James nodded. It was a horrible thought, leaving Lily, but he’d seen Remus’ sweet-tempered mum angry only once before. He didn’t wish to repeat the experience.

“I’ve got to run,” he whispered apologetically to Lily. He grabbed her hand in the darkness, and for a moment they could have been back in the water, soaring over waves together. “I’ve got a few more days in town, then back to school. Can I meet you here again tomorrow?”

Lily beamed at him. “That sounds lovely. Maybe at school I’ll even allow you to be seen with me.”

He laughed, then kissed her once more. Remus’ exaggerated cough told him that it was, really, now time to go. “Do you need a ride home?”

She shook her head. “I’ve got my bike. See you tomorrow, then.”

His chest felt like it was fit to burst. They could do this all again tomorrow.

“See you then, Lily of the sea.”

He turned before he could see her roll her eyes again and made his way up the beach toward Remus. He put his hands in his pockets and tried his hardest to stifle the grin that was permanently etched upon his face.

Perhaps he wasn’t so mental after all.

#jilychallenge #we made it folks!#Feeling very clever bc I'm late but it's still technically august #nina writes #jily oneshot

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kaz11283 · 3 years

Text

Where Were You

1) Dont You Say That....Not you

31) Your Alive

10) Where Were You When I Needed You

~~~~~

Ok so this was originally an ask but I goofed and just posted the prompts. So after saving them and trying to figure out what to write for the longest I have no idea who requested this because they were anonymous (so this is for you Anon if your out there)

Characters: you x Loki

Warnings: angst, fluff at the end, Loki being a slight asshat, hurt reader

Summary: You were Lokis only good thing that had happened in his life but when the hunger to rule over the kingdom gets the best of him and he fails where does that lead you? Your one love gone to never come back.

Announcement: I have been on a much needed LOA and after coming back I have been elbows deep trying to catch up woth everything going on at work. Was the trip worth it? Yes and i had some much needed time off with the fam and the babe. Would i do it again? In a heart beat. Did I miss work? Gods no but I did miss my little tumblr family that i have. So after a good bit of relaxing and my toes in the sand i am back!

I also wanna give a shout out to @high-functioning-lokipath for reading over this MULTIPULE times while I was freaking out about what to do!

Loki Masterlist

💚💚💚💚💚💚

~~~~~

"Loki!" You ran after him as he headed to the bit frost. "Please stop! You dont have to do this! You dont have to be someone that your not!"

"See that right there is the problem everyone seems to be having lately. Maybe this is who I am. Maybe this is who I want to be. After all Lady Y/n you are the one that has always told me that i could be anything I want to be. And I want to be king of Asguard." He said turning on you.

"Loki you are smarter than this! You are just upset about finding out who you truly are." You walked up to him and placed your hand on his cheek. You seen him almost give in before snapping back out of it.

"Ah yes, a frost giant? Someone who couldnt be loved by neither the family who abandoned me or the family that took me in." He spit the words at you.

"Loki, I love you. I have always loved you. You know that better than anyone." You grabbed at his emerald green cloak pulling at it causing him to turn around to face you with a cold look. You could tell that all emotion was gone at that point. You took a step away from him.

"You might love me but I have never truly loved you. You were mearly there to keep my bed warm at night" He said stepping closer to you. With the words came a cold creeping into your chest. Pain literally tore through your heart as they slowly sunk in.

You raised your hand and slapped him as hard as you could causing his head to jerk to the side. "Dont you say that, Loki Odinson, dont you dare compair me to one of your whores."

"Get out of my way." He said grabbing you by the shoulders and shoving you to the side. You crumpled to the cold stone floor moving your hand to your stomach as you watched the man that you had loved your entire life walk out the front of the castle.

You wasnt really sure how long you sat there crying when you looked up you could see the sun barly peeking over the horizon and you stumbled to your feet and slowly made your way back to the room you and Loki had shared.

Pushing the door open you heard a sniffle and seen Thor sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. "Thor?" He jump up off the bed and ran to you pulling you into him.

"Lady Y/n! I didn't know what had happened to you. I thought.... I thought that he might have done something before....before." He pulled you away to look at your face.

"Before what Thor?" He turned away from you a tear trailing down his face. "Before what Thor?!" You yelled.

"He fell." Your heart sank, emptyness filled you with the darkest feeling you would have never thought possible. You stumbled to the nearest chair and collapsed into it barely feeling the warmth of the fire that was slowly dying out. "I looked for you after. I couldnt find you, I thought that maybe he had done something, but I knew that he would never do anything to hurt you."

"Thor, I have to tell you something that not even Loki knew." You stared directly into the flames watching as they slowly died as the sun rose higher in the sky. "I was waiting till this was all over but now I wont get a chance to tell him." You take a deep breath and look up at him. "I'm pregnant. I am going to have his baby and he isnt even here to do this with me." You placed your head in your hands and started to cry.

"We will figure this out Lady Y/N. We cannot let father know but we can tell mother and she will help us." Thor said pulling you up from the chair and rushing from the room.

~~~~

Two years later

~~~~

You sat with your daughter in the all mothers garden waiting for your husband to arrive.

"Astrid, please dont chase the cat." You called watching her almost grab its tail. The almost two year old stopped to look back at you and giggle before taking off again. She was so much like her father with her black hair and green eyes along with her always trying to cause trouble.

"Lady Y/N, your husband will be arriving soon. He asked that you meet him in the throne room, but let one of the maids take the princess back to your living quarters." One of the guards called walking into the garden.

"She is always there to greet him when he returns. What could possibly keep him from wanting her there?" You asked as your daughter ran up to you giggling.

"Dada." She cooed clinging to your leg.

"He has brought a prisoner and he doesnt think that she should be there. He hopes that you will understand, and that once everything is said and done he will be able to spend some much needed time with his family." Your heart sank at the words prisoner. Leading Astrid to one of the ladies in waiting and kissing her head you promised you would be back soon. As you walked down the halls you could swear that you heard your heart hammering. As you opened the door to the thron room your eyes locked with Thor.

"Darling! I am so glad you are home." You said throwing your arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.

"I see it didnt take you long to find another prince to bed, my pet." Your blood ran cold as ice when you heard the voice from behind you. As you turned you looked at none other than Loki. Tears sprang to your eyes as you looked at him. He looked weak, thinner than you remembered almost sickly.

"I thought you died." You placed a hand over your mouth in shock.

"Seeing what has become of my once true love I wish I would have." He said looking between you and Thor.

"Loki, hold your tongue." Frigga said from across the room.

"But arent you proud mother? With me out of the way all your dreams came true it looks like." He said smirking looking back at you and Thor. You had grabbed ahold of his arm for support.

"Loki th-" The door had burst open at that point as Astrid came running to you and Thor a maid chasing behind her.

"Dada! Dada!" She threw herself into Thors arms as he picked her up.

"Hello my little love." Thor said kissing her and tickling her with his beard causing her to giggle. Loki stood observing, watching everything take place. He wasnt blind to the black hair that she had or the mischievous gint in her eye that he also had.

"Wow, stricking resemblance brother. She looks just like you." He grined looking between you and Thor.

"Loki, shut up." Thor said handing your daughter to you. "Why dont you take Astrid back to our quarters and I shall be there in a moment." He said kissing the top of your head.

"How sweet brother, a girl who simply rolls from one bed to another, and now a built in family. The girl must be about two now? How absolutly interesting."

You sat Astrid down next to Thor and walked over to the man that use to mean everything to you and stood right in front of him. "You, Loki Odinson, do not need to look, breath, or assume anything. Not towards my daughter."

"Interesting use of words dear my-" he was cut off by a sharp slap across the face.

"Come darling. Lets get you in the bath." You said opening your arms, your daughter running into them.

After you have made sure all the dirt was washed from her and she was nesseled into your bed nice and warm you sat by the fire with tears streaming down your face when Thor finally entered the room looking exhausted.

"Let me help you take your armor off. There is a warm bath for you also. Make sure the dirt is all off before climbing into bed, those are clean sheets." You stood walking over to him and undoing the straps that held his chest plate on.

"What did I do to deserve this kindness from you?" He asked placing his finger under your chin making you look up at him.

"You took me in, loved me after your brother couldnt, you have helped me raise a child that is not your but you let her call you dad. Me and my child both think the world of you Thor and honestly I couldnt imagine it without you in my life." You placed a hand on his cheek and brought him down to kiss him.

He leaned his head agintst yours and sighed. "You must go talk to my brother. He is down in the cells."

"What if I dont want to? What if I want to keep this happy little bubble that we have created?" A tear rolled down your cheek.

"If not for you or me, go talk to him for her." He said motioning over to Astrid who was snorring lightly in the middle of the bed. "I will look over her. For tonight and for always, it doesnt matter what happens tonight I will always love both you and her. And I know you will love me to but not as much as you have loved my brother." You were both crying now, you had decided two years prior that you would give this man what was left of your heart because the love of your life was gone but now? Now you were torn between the safty of being with Thor and the uncertainty of if Loki could ever love you the way he had before.

You kissed Thor on the cheek again making him promise to take a bath before going to bed causing him to laugh. "Yes I promise. Now go before I decide to keep you here with me." He handed you your dark blue cloak and shoved you out of the room.

Silently you made your ways to the dungeons under the castle not being noticed by anyone at this time of night, you pulled the hood up as not to be spotted by any of the other prisoners.

"I was wondering if you was going to make an apperance Y/N." Loki said, he was facing away from you his hands placed behind his back. "You've made quite the impression on my brother. Such a good impression that you two are married. Tell me dear is he as good as I was?" He asked turning to finally face you. You stood there shocked.

"Loki," you looked up at him. "This is not the time nor place for talk like that. I came here to ask what happened to you? I thought you had died."

"So you crawl in bed with my brother?!" He yelled hitting the shield between you and him with his fist.

"So I married your brother to save not only me but our daughter!" His jaw dropped at the admission. "Oh dont act so suprised. I know you know that she is yours. For norms sake she has your hair."

"I never thought you would admit it."

"I cant hide it Loki. Your mother is the one that came up with the plan for me to marry Thor."

"I bet father loved the fact that you were pregnant before the wedding." He said rolling his eyes.

"Odin would have killed us if he knew the secret!" You yelled, fire in your eyes. "Its not like you were around to protect us, to keep us safe. Your daughter has magic and is part Jötunn." He froze staring at you wide eyed. "Where were you Loki! Where were you when I needed you? When we needed you?" You screamed at him tears running down your face.

Neither of you had noticed Thor or Frigga talking to the guard in the shadows, neither of you had realized that the shield keeping Loki in his cell had been dropped until Loki had actually reached for you yanking you to his body. You clung to him like if you let go he would disappear all over again. You buried your face in his neck, his hair tickling your face as you felt his pulse aginst your lips for the first time in a long time. His hand was at the base of your neck as his face was buried in your hair, you felt his tears land on your cheek. He pulled back from you, both hands now on the side of your face as he wiped your tears away with his thumbs.

"I promise on all nine realms y/n I will never leave you or my daughter again. I promise that i will never leave you alone, I will always be there as I should have been in the begining of it all. You should not have had to go through alone." He leaned forward kissing you. You melted into the kiss, it had been forever since you had felt so connected with anyone like this. His lips were cool aginst yours as you both moved in perfect sync batteling for dominace over the other finally you gave into him. You pulled away slightly out of breath.

"I wasn't alone, I knew that I had a peice of you with me and i knew I wasnt alone at all. I knew you would come back. You always come back." You smiled at him.

"For you my queen, always." He said pulling you into his arms again whispering words of love.

Tag List:

@high-functioning-lokipath

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

@poetic-fiasco

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@rosaline-black

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@natandersonnla

@delightfulheartdream

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nekomc · 4 years

Text

scenario : you are shy and do not believe that you have a chance with them ft. o. tooru, b. koutarou, k. tetsurou (f!reader)

T. OIKAWA

➞ oikawa was quite easy to find, due to the constant swarm of girls that surrounded him

➞ you silently wished that you had the confidence they had to go up to him

➞ because you were so shy, you felt as though you didn’t have a chance to talk to him, let alone be with him

➞ so it really surprised you when oikawa came up to you in class one day

➞ “yoohoo! you’re yn right? someone said that you’re good at this, can you help me?”

➞ you could only nod at first out of shock because oikawa just came up to you!! was this even real?

➞ it wasn’t that awkward, since oikawa was quite the talker, and knew how to fill the silence

➞ he was still attentive, though, and really appreciated your help

➞ so the next day, when he had trouble again, he came up to you once again for help

➞ this time, you broke out of your shell a little, contributing more to the conversation and throwing in a joke or two

➞ your heart swelled when oikawa would laugh and seemed interested in what you had to say

➞ oikawa started to come to you during class and breaks regularly, sparking up a conversation more often than asking for help

➞ you became more and more comfortable around oikawa, and you noticed that your confidence has grown the more time you spent with him

➞ one day, he invited you to a game, and of course you agreed, although you were a bit hesitant at first

➞ on the day of the game, you felt a bit out of place, since you didn’t know much about volleyball

➞ but you still tried your best to cheer him on

➞ you try to meet him at the end of the game, but once you found him, he was already surrounded

➞ you immediately became disheartened and started to walk away

➞ but oikawa caught sight of you and called you over, asking you to wait for a bit, since he didn’t want to be rude to his fans

➞ when the crowd dispersed, he gave you a big smile and a hug

➞ “yn-chan, you came! did you have fun? you should come to our next game!”

➞ you felt a bit better as he asked you about the game, but he still noticed that you were feeling a bit down

➞ unfortunately, before he could ask about it, he had to leave

➞ the next day, he asked about it during class

➞ you felt uncomfortable talking about it with the chance of your classmates hearing, and told him so

➞ so you both decide to talk about it in the short period of free time he had after school

➞ “yn-chan, did something happen at the game?”

➞ what were you supposed to say? that you felt as though you weren’t confident? that you wished you had more courage to take the chance with him?

➞ instead, you said, “i was just tired after all the cheering, that’s all!”

➞ he saw through your lie, and he didn’t want you to continue feeling whatever negative emotion you were feeling, even though he wasn’t sure what it was yet

➞ his expression became serious

➞ “yn, don’t lie. what’s bothering you?”

➞ you didn’t want to lie again

➞ he put a lot of effort into building your friendship, and truly cared about your feelings

➞ so you told him the truth

➞ you told him how you used to feel as though being shy meant that you would never be able to be friends with him

➞ you wished that you had the confidence to come up to him to talk to him instead of the other way around, like his fans

➞ and you still felt as though the confidence you’ve gained through your friendship wasn’t enough to go to a relationship of beyond friends

➞ you didn’t realize that you had basically confessed to wanting something more than being friends until oikawa’s eyes widened

➞ “yn-chan, was that a confession?”

➞ you were too shocked at your own choice of words that you couldn’t speak

➞ he laughed, and said, “ah, you’re so cute! but i can’t believe you beat me to it!”

➞ “...beat you to it?”

➞ “to the confession. i like you too, yn.”

➞ before you could respond, he received a call from iwaizumi, telling him to hurry to practice

➞ you were left standing there, stunned

➞ oikawa called you after practice, and he told you that being shy isn’t something that has to be an obstacle

➞ he loved seeing you slowly breaking out of your shell as your friendship grew

➞ he promised that he would still continue to help you build your confidence until you were comfortable with who you were

➞ “hopefully, i’ll be able to do that as your boyfriend, and not as just your friend. is that ok, yn-chan?”

➞ of course, you told him yes

➞ oikawa kept his promise throughout your relationship

➞ you were grateful to have him by your side, helping you become more comfortable and confident with your relationship with him, and most importantly, yourself

B. KOUTAROU

➞ you and bokuto began your friendship in the beginning in your third year

➞ you and bokuto shared a class together and you would often see him around at lunch as well

➞ hearing him talk was amusing sometimes, but you didn’t think much of it since you didn't think someone as cheerful as him would want to be friends with someone as shy as you

➞ you don’t talk much so carrying on a conversation wasn't a strong suit of yours

➞ anyways….. One day during lunch your two best (and basically only friends) suggested eating lunch in the classroom

➞ you bought snacks from the cafeteria for you and your friends and were on your way back to the classroom when suddenly you bumped into someone

➞ startled and embarrassed that you weren't watching where you were going, you quietly apologized to the person you bumped into

➞ you looked up and noticed it was bokuto from you class

➞ “OH!!!! Uhhhhh y/n-san right? From my class? Don’t worry about it !!!!! I should have looked where i was going too. OH COOL are those (insert snack)???? I love those!!”

➞ you felt overwhelmed from his very loud and friendly personality and gave pretty vague responses

➞ you excused yourself and headed back to your friends

➞ to your surprise, bokuto began speaking to you at school more often and frequently catches you at lunch

➞ “HEY HEY HEY y/n-chan, do you wanna come with me to the cafeteria to buy some (favorite snack)?”

➞ after that you had a really nice friendship with bokuto and began joining him at lunch with akaashi

➞ you enjoy the balance between someone so chill as akaashi and someone as cheerful as bokuto

➞ bokuto might have been loud, but he never once made you uncomfortable or gotten you into situations that would make you nervous

➞ You didn't talk much, so he talked for the both of you

➞ After a while you start developing a crush on him

➞ You loved the way he made you feel less insecure about your shyness

➞ However, you still felt like you could never reveal those feelings to him

➞ You felt as thought bokuto was someone who would be better off with someone who was as bright and cheery as himself, someone who would match his energy all the time and not hold him back from being himself

➞ You felt like if you were with him it would just burden him

➞ However you were dead wrong

➞ One day your teacher had asked bokuto had asked bokuto to stay back for lunch so that they could talk about his grade, so you went ahead and met up with akaashi

➞ You ended up sharing your feelings and insecurities about bokuto and when you were done, akaashi didn't say anything and was just staring behind you

➞ You turn around to see bokuto and you began to feel very very anxious

➞ Akaashi got up and excused himself

➞ You refused to meet eyes with bokuto as you were starting to mentally prepare for rejection but instead you were met with a “OH THANK GOD Y/N-CHAN. Ummmmmm ive actually liked you for quite a while now!!!!!!! I really really like you but youre just so quiet sometimes that i was pretty sure i was just annoying you this whole time and you were just too nice to say anything!!”

➞ Oh… well you definitely werent expecting that

➞ After this you guys had a talk, happy that your feelings were mutual

➞ Bokuto re assured you sweetly that he didnt think any of those things you thought about yourself

➞ He might not be the smartest student, but he was self aware and knew that sometimes he get really out of hand

➞ He would tell you that being around really helps to keep him calm and isnt bothered at all by your shyness or how little you spoke sometimes

➞ Being around you really taught him to stop and listen to people, since he had to pick up on your non verbal cues in your friendship so that he wouldn't ever accidentally make you uncomfortable

➞ You guys might have had very different personalities, but you're definitely the rocks that holds him down and are there to help him through every one of his mood swings (which he loves you so much for)

➞ In the end you both were insecure, but with your growing relationship and with how sweet bokuto treated you , you never really had the time to ever feel like you weren't enough for him

K. TETSUROU

➞ midterms were coming up, and you’ve been trying to study these past few nights

➞ keyword : trying

➞ the more you stayed up, the harder it was to study the next day

➞ it was also hard to stay up in class

➞ kuroo noticed it in class, the way your head sometimes slipped past your hand, your lids visibly getting heavy as you almost doze off

➞ and one day, you do. doze off, that is

➞ he couldnt help but find you cute, but he also felt a bit bad, since knew what it was like to stay up, studying, and having to go through the day with little to no sleep

➞ so the next day, he decided to bring you a caffeinated drink (imagine that he brought you your preferred drink, like coffee, or an energy drink)

➞ you were already in class, getting your things out

➞ you looked down to pick something up from your bag, and when you looked back up, kuroo was standing in front of your desk, a drink in his hand

➞ you both stared at each other for a few seconds, both unsure of what to say

➞ kuroo was the first to speak

➞ “i noticed that you’ve been like, falling asleep. Wait i swear i wasn’t trying to be creepy or anything, i just happened to see it-”

➞ he stopped and just placed the drink on your desk with a smile

➞ “anyways, i hope this helps.”

➞ you smiled back and thank him quietly before he walked away

➞ throughout the day, you drank it, and it helped you get through the day

➞ you felt too shy to go up to him and say thank you in person, so instead, you took a sticky note and wrote a note on it, placing it on his desk during your last break

➞ the next day, he brought you the drink again, with a sticky note attached to it

➞ on the sticky he wrote ~no need to thank me, you seemed like you needed it! if you ever want to study together just let me know, i’ll keep these drinks coming your way ;)~

➞ over the next few days kuroo would keep placing drinks on your desks with sticky notes that had chemistry jokes or pick up lines

➞ some of them were honestly really bad,,, but you couldn’t help but laugh

➞ “what did one charged atom say to the other? i got my ion you”

➞ “did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? it went OK”

➞ “do you have 11 protons? Cause you're sodium fine”

➞ “forget hydrogen, you're my number one element”

➞ (kuroo would stare at you from his desk just to see you laugh )

➞ one day you placed a sticky note on kuroos desk, accepting his offer to study a little bit during lunch,, so you two began seeing each other during that time

➞ you were still really shy around him, but thankfully kuroo didn’t mind a quiet study session with you, and he was really helpful!

➞ after a while you realized that you started to grow a crush on kuroo

➞ he was a little intimidating at first, and looked like the sort of guy that messed around with girls (he certainly wasn’t shy to playfully tease you)

➞ but he was honestly a really kind person, who was intelligent and cared a lot about his friends

➞ you also admired how hard he worked to keep up his grades and be volleyball captain at the same time

➞ because of this you felt,,, very inferior to him

➞ he was attractive, smart, kind, friendly, and volleyball captain

➞ compared to him you didn’t really feel like you were anything special

➞ you felt as though your crush would get you nowhere because you felt like kuroo deserved to be with someone who was way better than you

➞ you felt like he was way out of your league

➞ but one day during one of your lunch study sessions kuroo turns to you and starts talking

➞ he seemed really flustered for some reason and said “ m-my favorite attractive force is van der waal’s force. Can you feel it? I'll move closer if you can't”

➞ you laughed at his silliness, until he actually went ahead and sat closer to you

➞ you were shocked and felt yourself grow flustered at his closeness

➞ the both of you stayed silent until he spoke up and said

➞ “hey y/n, i've been meaning to say this for a little while but, i like you”

➞ well,,,, you certainly weren’t expecting that

➞ you weren't sure of what to say, so you just looked at him like :o

➞ kuroo panics and starts to talk his mouth off

➞ “im sorry if you don't feel that way, i don't want to ruin our friendship so please forget i even said that-”

➞ you quickly shook your head, stopping him

➞ “no, no, I'm sorry, i was just surprised, i actually like you too.”

➞ when the test came around, you both get a really high score

➞ you both excitedly showed each other once you got the chance to during a break

➞ you were super proud of each other, seeing how all of the hard work paid off

➞ the upcoming weekend, the two of you went to buy drinks and walk around as a treat

➞ as you were walking with kuroo, you realized how happy you were to be with him

➞ he still continued to tease you endlessly but respected your boundaries and knew when to draw the line

➞ he was always attentive, caring, and mature, and always managed to make you smile

➞ he reminded you of your worth through little actions, and you were grateful to have someone like him by your side

requested by @teasbees-knees

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

Did You Know?

Prompt: the merlin fic you wrote with a crying arthur who didn't realize he had a hand in normalizing merlin to physical pain/punishment is HEARTBREAKING and i couldn't help but think while reading it that merlin may have just assumed that the knights and arthur //knew// visting knights were handsy w him and just didnt care, like he just thought it was normal and they would expect nothing less. anyway if u wanna write something that has that kind of idea/vibe i'd be delighted to read it! love u <3

Ahh yes more h/c here we go

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: visiting nobles and knights are dicks. implied/referenced rape/non-con and abuse NOTHING EXPLICIT

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic I don’t care

Word Count: 3031

Merlin is…confused.

He’s doing his job as a servant—not that he’s begrudging his position that much, destiny is destiny, after all—and putting up with all the things that servants are supposed to put up with.

The learning curve was very steep, don’t get him wrong. Coming from Ealdor, where the only authority figure he absolutely had to listen to was his mum, and straight into Camelot’s complex authority structure with rules and consequences and all the messy trappings of those horrid make-believes he and Will used to do when they were little boys. Hell, he ended his first full day in Camelot arrested, relying only on Gaius’s social powers in court to get him released. He’s not exactly a beacon of well-mannerisms.

So if it took him a while to get used to the type of work Arthur was going to have him do, that’s fine! He’s never had to put armor on anyone before, let alone the Crown Prince, who expected him to do all that and then some. He’s never known how to clean shiny pieces of metal that just serve to attract more attention than they’re worth, they never had shiny pieces of metal other than coin. And he’s certainly never known how to dodge swords being swung at his head. Never.

It wasn’t expected—no, it wasn’t, you prat—for him to be able to shrug on all these new responsibilities, even if he had been trained as a servant, because he’s never done them before. Thank the gods for Gwen, honestly, who was more than happy to make sure he at least knew how to hold a sword without cutting himself.

“Here’s the next one,” she’d called, handing him the next training sword from the batch, “now, try again.”

“This is the rag, this is the polish, and we just—ow!”

“Try not to polish the edge of the blade, Merlin.”

“I knew that,” he had muttered sheepishly, rubbing the cloth over the flat of the blade this time, “but thank you.”

Gwen had rolled her eyes fondly. “Just keep trying, you’re doing great.”

So he had just…done his best to learn what to do. Which would’ve been easier had he also not been learning how to act.

‘Yes, sire.’

‘No, sire.’

‘As you wish, sire.’

‘Sire’ this and ‘sire’ that and bloody hell, why is he not allowed to say anyone’s bloody name?

Formalities have never really been Merlin’s strong suit, not that he’s ever really needed them. And now that he has to use them, he’s starting to regret not paying attention to his mum’s scoldings. Just a little bit. Not that much. It’s not entirely his fault, is it, that those lectures were so boring and there were things he could’ve been doing.

But here…

Here, if he doesn’t address someone the right way, he gets cuffed around the head. The first time it happened, his hand flew to his head in shock. It wasn’t a particularly hard slap—he’s had worse walking into the door by himself—but the fact that someone was allowed to hit him, was expected to hit him, and it was his own fault was…jarring.

He learns his lesson about trying to hit back much quicker.

He still slips up from time to time, even now, after so many years, but his reflexes have gotten a lot better. Goblets, combs, hunks of bread, boots, staffs, just about every object he can think of, he’s had thrown at his head. With Arthur, it’s fine, he can snipe back perfectly well on his own, and it’s not like he’s going anywhere. He just bites back enough to make it a little more bearable. And besides, Arthur hasn’t ever seriously hurt him, maybe because he’s always lauding about how strong he is and how weak Merlin. Doesn’t want to break him.

And he can get away with it with some of the knights. The close ones, sure. Leon—well, he doesn’t try that much shite with Leon. Leon’s terrifying, not just because he’s one of the oldest knights and the longest-serving of Arthur’s inner circle, but because he knows things. Leon’s perception scares the hell out of Merlin, not in the least because he’s got so much to hide.

Does he ever think Leon would seriously hurt him? No, but he might tell people who would.

Percival is a big man. His arms are about the size of Merlin’s skull. He doesn’t want to get near that man’s bad side, even if he hasn’t found it yet.

Elyan is sneaky. He’s got just enough say to be dangerous, not enough to be an obvious suspect. And he’s got Gwen on his side—or more specifically, Gwen’s got him on her side. Gwen would never hurt him, he knows, he trusts her too much.

Lancelot is the only one he’s not afraid of, him and Gwaine. Mainly because he knows that they know.

…look, you do what Merlin’s been doing for as long as he’s been doing it, you slip up. It happens.

But Lancelot never looked at him differently. Never raised a hand to him to hurt him, always touched him gently, spoke softly, sparred with him in good faith. Even when he swings a spear at him in jest, it’s never too fast to actually bruise him if it connects.

Gwaine slaps him on the shoulder, claps him on the back, hard enough to bruise sometimes, but he cares. He hides it well—well, sort of—and looks out for Merlin when Lancelot can’t. But he knows Gwaine has a breaking point, and he’s not super keen on looking for it.

He can get away with it. A little. Not a lot.

But only with them.

With the other knights…

One of the hardest things he had to learn was that no one cared.

When a knight smacks him over the head with the flat of a dulled blade, it doesn’t matter that the sight of a blade swinging at his freezes terror in his throat, nor that the ring of the blade won’t go away for three hours. The others will just laugh and tell him to move his arse.

When a knight knocks the equipment out of his hands and snarls at him to get moving, it doesn’t matter that it’s often accompanied by a boot to his ribs. He’ll always get elbowed in the exact same place later and they won’t care about his wince.

When a knight decides that he’s had enough of Merlin just looking at him, he—

The other thing that Merlin’s had to learn very, very quickly, is that it’s better him than the other servants.

He has Gaius. Gaius will patch him up, no questions asked. And when he can’t go to Gaius, it’s not like he’ll be caught lurking suspiciously in his own quarters. And when he can’t do that, he has his magic.

None of the others do.

So he learns. He picks up the things he needs to know, puts his head down, and bears it.

That’s what servants are supposed to do.

So you can imagine that when the others look absolutely horrified as he explains to them that he knows how this works, he’s learned, he’s confused.

“Come on, guys, it’s not like the other servants don’t know this.”

“It’s funny,” Gwaine growls, his fist tightening on the table, “how you think that makes this any better.”

Merlin rolls his eyes. “I’m not a gossip, Gwaine—“

“That,” Elyan says, “is not true.”

“—okay fine, I enjoy a bit of the servant’s gossip as well as anyone, but not about this!” He shakes his head. “It’s fine, they know about it, it’s not like anyone cares.”

“See, Merlin,” Lancelot says quietly, “that’s where you’re wrong.”

Merlin frowns. What are they talking about? Who’s noticed? Is he doing it wrong? What does he need to fix?

See, his confusion only grows when he voices those concerns and the knights only seem to grow more upset.

“I can’t believe this,” Gwaine mutters, turning away, “how long has this been happening, Merlin?”

“Which part?”

Gwaine is doing a remarkable impersonation of someone who is extremely constipated. “…all of it.”

“I mean, it began as soon as I set foot in Camelot, if you want to go from the very beginning.”

Leon swallows. “And if we asked for you to be…more specific?”

Merlin huffs, throwing his arms up. “Why are you so concerned about this? It’s nothing to worry about!”

“You’re being abused, Merlin,” Arthur—since when has Arthur been this quiet?—says finally, looking at Merlin the same way he looked at Morgana when Uther strangled her against the back of the throne—see? It’s just something that happens here— “that’s definitely something to worry about.”

Merlin scoffs. “I’m not being abused, I’m just being treated like a servant.”

“If that’s what you think being treated like a servant means,” Gwaine says, standing, “then this conversation is going to take a lot longer than we thought.”

In response, Percival moves to stand in front of the door. Merlin sighs.

“You don’t have to block the exit, Percival, I know I’m not allowed to leave.”

A choked-off sound comes from Merlin’s left, followed by a muffled curse. Percival shakes his head.

“I’m over here to make sure no one else comes in to hurt you,” the knight says calmly, “not to make sure you don’t leave.”

“But if you want to,” Elyan says quickly, “you can.”

“No, no, I know a trap when I see one, no thank you.”

“It’s not a trap, Merlin,” Lancelot says, even as he looks to be about two seconds from crying for some reason, “if you truly wish to leave, you can. We won’t stop you.”

Merlin raises an eyebrow. “…sure.”

Arthur lowers his head. Merlin frowns, watching his shoulders tense.

“Are you alright?”

He gets his answer in the form of many unshed tears welling up in Arthur’s eyes as he raises his head.

“No, Merlin,” he says in a remarkably steady voice, “I’m not. But don’t worry about me.”

“That’s my job,” Merlin insists, striding forward, “let me help.”

Arthur catches him gently—gently?—gently by the elbows as he reaches for him, smiling sadly.

“Can I give you another way to help me?”

Merlin swallows heavily. “…what does it entail, exactly?”

“For starters, explaining why that question has you shaking in your boots.”

“I’m not—“ Merlin looks down to see Arthur’s hands are just about the only thing holding him up— “oh.”

“Sit,” Leon encourages, bringing a chair over and crouching in front of it. Around him, the knights lower themselves to the ground, with the exception of Percival, still by the door.

“Merlin,” Leon calls again, “can I ask you some questions? If you don’t want to answer any of them, that’s alright, but may I ask?”

Merlin blinks. “Sure?”

He gets a nod of thanks. “What do you understand your duties as a servant to be?”

“To help with the running of the castle and take care of Arthur’s needs.”

“Which are?”

“What—“

“Please,” Arthur says softly, “please, Merlin, I know it sounds silly, but…please?”

Well, he’s never been very good at saying no to upset Arthur. He sighs.

“Keeping his chambers clean, keeping track of his laundry, dressing him in the mornings, polishing his armor, bringing him food, escorting him to court affairs, and any other odd jobs he asks me to do.”

Leon nods. “And what about the knights? Do you have duties with us, too?”

“I’m supposed to help you train and see to your immediate needs with those, too.”

“Such as?”

“Equipment, water, food, chambers—“

“Chambers?” Lancelot frowns. “Why would you need to see to our chambers?”

“Not yours, but the visiting knights.” Merlin frowns as Arthur’s hand twitches on his elbow. “What?”

“Do they presume that you are their servant,” Leon asks in a low voice, “when you do so?”

“I am, aren’t I?” He looks to Arthur. “You assign me to them.”

“No, Merlin,” Arthur corrects gently, still looking like he’s about two seconds from crying and still taking Merlin by surprise at how soft he’s being, “I ask you to get them settled, that’s all.”

Merlin blinks. “Oh. Uh…”

“What do they ask you to do,” Leon asks, “as their servant?”

He furrows his brow, trying to remember. “Uh, change their sheets, see to their armor, start a fire, bring them dinner…”

Leon raises an eyebrow when he trails off. “Anything else?”

“They, um—“

Hands. Hands on his skin. Voices in his ear.

“Merlin.” Arthur gives him a shake. “Merlin.”

“Sorry,” he says instantly, “I just…”

He trails off again when he sees the absolutely heartbroken look on Arthur’s face.

“…Arthur?”

“Why,” Arthur whispers, “why do you let them…do that?”

Merlin frowns. “It’s fine.”

“It’s most certainly not fine.”

“It is,” Merlin argues, “it’s what servants are supposed to do, anyway, and it’s better me than the others.”

Gwaine muffles a curse again, and to his surprise, so does Lancelot.

“Merlin,” Leon says, calling his attention with how hoarse he sounds, “Merlin, why is it better you than the others if there’s nothing wrong with what’s happening to you?”

Oh.

Oh, no.

Merlin’s hands start to shake.

Something in his throat wells up and pushes against his jaw. It hurts. The bruises on his back start to smart.

“Why do you care,” he says instead, “why now?”

“We didn’t know,” Leon whispers, sounding every bit the man confessing his worst sin, “and we are so, so sorry that we didn’t.”

“And if you’re asking why we care,” Lancelot says, equally heartfelt, “then we are more sorry than you could ever know.”

Merlin frowns. “But you lot do it too.”

The room freezes.

Arthur yanks his hands away from Merlin like he’s been burned. Leon stifles a noise of his own as Elyan’s mouth drops open.

“What,” Gwaine manages after a few moments, “the fuck does that mean?”

“You—you hit me, you order me around, you—“ Merlin swings his head back and forth, looking at their shell-shocked faces— “why are you all looking at me like that?”

“Because you’ve just told us we’ve been abusing you since the moment you set foot in Camelot, Merlin,” Arthur whispers, tears finally starting to roll down his cheeks.

“But you knew!” Merlin’s hands fly to his hair as he cries out. “You knew this was happening, you could see it happening and you didn’t care!”

“I’m sorry, Merlin—“

“If we knew it was like this—“

“If you think we’d ever hurt you like that—“

“No, gods no, Merlin—“

“Of course we care—“

“Merlin,” Arthur whispers, holding out a shaking hand, “Merlin, please, please believe us that we would never be okay with you being mistreated like that. Like this.”

And godsdamnit all, the amount of sheer heartbreak in the room is enough to coax a lump into Merlin’s throat and spring tears down his cheeks. Arthur lets out a wounded noise as he sees them, reaching forward to gently, still gently, wipe them away. The naked concern on not just his face, but the others’ faces as well, only encourages more.

“I’m so sorry, Merlin,” he keeps saying, “I’m so, so, sorry.”

“Arthur, I—“ He’s cut off by a gasping sob— “Arthur—“

“Shh, shh, shh,” Arthur hushes frantically, cupping Merlin’s face in both hands, “shh, shh, Merlin, it’s alright, no one’s ever going to hurt you again, I swear it—“

“You’re damn right,” he hears Gwaine mutter as the other knights agree.

“—and I’m so sorry that you thought I’d be okay with it, that I was helping—“ Arthur’s voice cracks— “no, no, you’re—you’re my Merlin—I never want to see you hurt like that—I never mean to hurt you—“

“I know,” Merlin murmurs, “I—I know you don’t.”

Arthur, gentle Arthur, pulls him into the softest hug he’s ever had, cradling him like he’s something precious, something fragile, something to be savored and oh, oh, gods—

“Easy,” he hears Leon soothe, “easy does it now, come sit—come sit with us.”

He can’t quite manage to pry himself out of Arthur’s grip as he feels the knights come closer, huddling around the two of them in a protective circle. He even hears Percival’s heavy steps coming closer, a silent guardian, keeping watch.

“I don’t—“ he gasps— “I don’t understand.”

“We’ll help you,” Arthur promises in his ear, “we’ll help you figure it out.”

“But if anyone ever,” Gwaine growls, “and I mean ever does anything like that to you again, you tell us.”

Merlin nods frantically. “Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.”

“Thank you, Merlin,” Leon murmurs, “may I…?”

Merlin nods and Leon’s hand cards tenderly through his hair.

“Oh, Merlin,” he mumbles, almost to himself, “you came into our lives blustering about how servants were people too…and we never noticed this?”

The knight shudders and steels himself.

“We will do better.” He gives Merlin’s head one last pat. “We all will.”

“I can—“ Merlin swallows— “I can…ask for help?”

“Yes, Merlin,” Arthur promises instantly, “you can ask me for help, and if you think I’m letting another one of those knights near you ever again—“

Oh. Oh, wow.

The wave of protective fury that hits Merlin’s chest is—

Wow.

He’s still confused. Confused and more than a little scared.

But as he curls up in Arthur’s arms, held and kept with Camelot’s strongest knights curled around him too, protecting him, shielding him, he thinks he may finally start to feel safe.

#merlin #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #arthur pendragon #merthur #merthur fic #fic #dragonbabbles

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maccreadysimp · 3 years

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breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant

#mine #shameless #ian gallgher #gallavich #mickey milkovich #text post

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starfanatic · 3 years

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Luke Skywalker vs Rey... Nobody

I hate the argument that a lot of sequel trilogy stans use whenever anyone criticized Rey or labels her a Mary Sue. It’s probably the weakest argument a sequel stan can ever possibly say to me. (Besides the people hate Rey because she’s a women argument).

Lets compare them shall we?

Luke Skywalker in A New Hope is whiny, inexperienced, and very naive. There is multiple moments in a new hope that proves this. When he was whining about not wanting to stay on the moisture farm and wanting to join the Academy like his friend, Biggs. He constantly was slightly annoying throughout the film, especially to Han. When Han named his price and Luke was like “We can buy our own ship with that!” or when Han was flying the Milennium Falcon and Luke was practically yelling in his ear to go into hyperspace. Han and Luke did not get along at first because of Luke’s behavior. Luke went against Obi-Wan’s orders and saved Princess Leia, not thinking of the consequences. How he could possibly be killed or put in a cell with the Princess. He doesn’t think of a plan to get out AFTERWARDS only the spur of the moment. He was constantly shown to be inexperienced and needed his friends help or HE WOULD HAVE DIED THE FIRST MOVIE. While on the millennium falcon, Obi-Wan taught him things about the force. Maybe not a lot but he knew how to use the simple basics of it. Like sensing the force and letting it guide your actions (as Obi-Wan was trying to teach him before). For once Luke listened and trusted Obi-Wan and destroyed the death star.

Lets do Rey now WHOOP. So far the only personality flaw she seems to have is that she’s also naive? She had the same wide-eyed innocence as Luke had but it’s different and here’s why. Rey never suffers for any of her so-called almost non-existent flaws. Rey is experienced enough to hold her own in a fight against men WAY stronger then her (that’s realistic though but that’s one tool in her belt). She’s bilingual. She can fly the millennium falcon better then Han Solo even though she never flew one before. She is constantly saving people by herself, never the one being saved. (Before y’all bust my balls, Rey escaped that damn starkiller base by her damn self. Luke didn’t and couldn’t). She uses powers that takes years to learn and the excuse is the force dyad. So she downloads Kylo’s skills and training. Great. Magnificent. Rey is on a amazing start. And this is the first movie! She can only get stronger from here.

Luke is more mature and responsible in ESB. He’s a respected hero of the rebellion. Luke still struggles using the force. Even with the training Luke goes through with Obi-Wan he had to truly focus to pull the lightsaber to him. Plus as a common occurrence, he still needed help from his friends. He’s not invincible. He actually gets severely hurt (makes sense). He goes to Dagobah to get trained (because unlike Rey he doesn’t have the “learn force jedi shit that takes years to learn” cheatcode). And then he’s impatient. He wants to learn how to use the force so he can help his friends. Luke is again reckless, impatient, and he’s also insecure in his own belief. Him not believing he can lift the X-wing was why he couldn’t. Against his master’s and Obi-Wan’s orders he decides to save his friends. It’s a noble reason to but it still got him fucked up. He got his hand cut off, he was beaten and humiliated, and then he was told a horrifying revalation that twisted around everything he knew and believed. He was scared of Vader, you can see it on his face, but he did not succumb to fear.

Rey goes to the island to convince Luke to go help them fight the war. Why doesn’t Leia go instead? Who knows. Why does Luke act the way he does? Who knows. Luke dismissed her and was quite rude to her. Rey was having cute little talks with Kylie Renner in their little force dyad BS. She called him a monster and a murderous snake. I like the insults. It fills me with joy! But then she finds out the truth. Rey did do something reckless and stupid but as usual she doesn’t suffer the consequences to her actions. Technically she’s morally superior to Luke because she saw the good in him and felt like she could turn him to the light (after slicing his face open. Ok). Rey decides to give herself up to the First Order thinking Kylo would save her. And he does. So she wasn’t even wrong... Rey fight the very elite guards of the (bootleg emperor palpatine) Supreme Leader Snoke. Reminder, TFA and TLJ are like 3-4 days apart. She had zero training within these days. Luke refused to train her so don’t start that bullshit. Luke trained her for like 5 minutes and none of that training had anything to do with lightsaber dueling. Rey is then told she was a nobody. Now why did Rey cry about this? I truly don’t know. How the hell would Kylo accurately know that Rey’s parents were nobody? Didnt Rey been know this from the force awakens? Eh whatever. She tries to force pull the lightsaber from Kylo Ren and do a dumbass tug a war instead of walking up and grabbing it. It reminds me of JJ and Rian fighting over where the star wars sequels). Anakin must be screaming and yelling from above... or below... idk. The lightsaber then breaks. Rey then saves her friends by showing her once again superior piloting skills that rival or is possibly better then Anakin Skywalker himself. Hitting 3 in one shot? You go girl! She then uses the force to effortlessly move the big ass boulders out of the entrance to save the resistance. Last I remember... Luke struggled to do that with a few way smaller rocks and was also focusing hard to do.

Luke is finally at jedi status! Woohoo! Now Luke first saves Han from Jabba. It shows his very dark side tendencies by choking the guards (like father like son). Luke thinks of a actual plan before going in (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT). Luke “Chanel Boots” Skywalker goes to Yoda on his death bed. All he wants is answers but Yoda wants to be cryptic as fuck. Luke has been lied to for years by his mentors and his family. Luke’s father isn’t hero Anakin Skywalker but actually a big, asthmatic, merciless, murderous asshole who has a choking kink. Luke then says he cannot kill his own father and Obi-Wan, who believes Vader isn’t a human but a machine, has no faith in Luke. He believes that Luke will fail and the Empire would win. Luke feels the conflict and good in him that nobody else does. He knows that Vader is unloyal to the emperor and he actually cares about his own son. When he is with Han and Leia he realizes he made a mistake and has a bad feeling about it. (*gasp* Luke is not being super reckless). He’s not arrogant (not in anyway) but he’s completely confident that Vader would turn. (He isn’t flawless there is still obvious problem with this plan he has. He fails, the empire wins. He dies, the emperor wins. Vader doesn’t turn, Luke fails. Luke almost succumbs to the dark side and it’s actually plausible he might fully turn. He wants to desperately save his friends and his father has done horrible things to Luke. Luke had every reason to kill Vader. But he doesn’t. He throws the lightsaber away and foolishly puts his life in Vader’s hand. Luke doesn’t save the galaxy because he can make things levitate with the force. He wins because he had the strength to resist the dark side and has so much love and pure good in his heart he saw the good in his father.

Rey starts off with a training session (no idc it’s too fucking late now. 3 movies in? Is she doing reverse character development?) and basically Poe gets mad at Rey for not accompanying them on missions. I still don’t know why she needs training, when she is at a decent strength to fight elite guards, fight kylo ren, and a variety of other things that typically takes a long time to learn. After finding out Palpatine returned, Rey goes on a mission to find the way finder almost like a shitty videogame. I don’t even want to talk about the force dyad anymore because it’s fucking dumb. Rey gets chased by the force order and hear this out, FORCE HEALS (i forgot what the animal was but idrc). Which means Rey had the power to stop the painful truth of death themself. Why am I not surprised? Rey did something that no other jedi nor sith or jedi have ever done this. Anakin went to the dark side to save the ones he love. This movie was just a slap in the face to Anakin. Rey then fights Kylo Ren and lost??? again it seems a little too late and it also didn’t make sense. Rey defeated those guards all by herself with Kylo needed help from her. She’s obviously the better lightsaber duelist but hey, at least JJ was trying to mellow her out a bit. Rey stabs him while our beloved Princess died. She then regrets her decision and as always, doesn’t have any consequence to her actions. By the force I forgot, the whole scene where she is revealed as a Palpatine? Completely invalidates the first two movies but eh whatever. She uses a power that only the elite sith does... something Kylo Ren himself could not do (and he’s on the dark side). Rey “killed” Chewie but actually no she didn’t because Chewie is perfectly fine. Rey is supposed to be all dark and edgy now, “you don’t know me” BS. Yeah I’m sorry I won’t tolerate this because my only allergy is the fish smelling coochie bullshit called the sequel trilogy. Rey got scared of her dark self. Well at least JJ tried? Rey then almost gives up but Luke was like “nah fam you cant”. Rey dies trying to fight Palpatine but then as usual, she gets zero consequence cuz Benny Simp saved her using the force. Then she kissed him... no. No. No. This made my eyes burn like they just threw bleach in my eyes. It made no sense. “A Kiss of Gratitude”? What the shit was that? GIRLS DO NOT INSPIRE TO BE REY.

#anti sequel trilogy #anti rey palpatine #anti reylo #luke skywalker #star wars #leia organa #han solo #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #rebel scum #anti rian johnson #a new hope #empire strikes back #return of the jedi

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon,

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now.#i might be invested #maybe #talvez

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podcastlimbo · 3 years

Text

My honest honest opinion on second citadel season 3

Uhhhh... short answer? I didn’t like it much.

Okay wait before I go on to my long answer I need to say that this is all just my opinion and it’s all subjective. If you liked sc season 3 that’s awesome! I get why you do and I’m glad you enjoyed it!

But I really wasn’t a fan of where they went with it (even from episode 1), and I’m gonna go on a long rambly and repetitive rant about it.

I’m not gonna talk about the way the season ended and the setup for s4 because I haven’t fully formed my opinion about that - to form my opinion means to relisten to the season and i don’t really feel like doing that.

Anyways, these are my unfiltered 2am thoughts about the Rest Of It - maybe I’ll neaten it up later to make it more palatable but for now it’s wordy n messy and you can just. Not read it bc it’ll probably make you mad, or feel free to pick it apart and tell me I’m wrong, or unfollow me (and at least one person has already done so lmao) but like that won’t change the fact that I just wasn’t feeling s3 so uh. That said.

Long answer? I love the second citadel... at least the first two seasons

I love the world building, how the setting is such a unique, deliberate step away from eurocentric fantasy, how refreshing all that is! The Second Citadel (the place) is rich with culture and history from the brief glimpses we get of it (mostly in knight of the crown). Not to mention the monster society, with its own rules (or lack thereof) and environments and personalities.

I love the storytelling, how different mediums are woven into the way each episode is formatted. Rilla has her tape recorder, Damien his prayers, Caroline her letters, and each medium is so well suited to each character, and it truly lets us get a glimpse of what’s going on in their minds, and I find it utterly fascinating how a protagonist of one story could just as easily become an antagonist (or at least, an annoyance) in another

And the characters! Each one so compelling, with their own goals and motivations, their own intriguing backstories and potential.

Most importantly, the way these characters play off of each other is what makes second citadel amazing. Getting to see people with similar experiences but different world views clash (Caroline and Mira), people with fundamentally different beliefs reconcile and meet in the middle (rilla and arum), just, Kabert created so many interesting characters, and watching them bounce off one another is a joy.

And that’s what made season 2 so great for me. The exploration of each character, getting to see their good sides and bad, through either a medium tailored for them, or through interactions with others, as they explored a fascinating world.

The end of season 2 left me so satisfied, but still with so many questions and excitement about what was to come. I wanted to see Talfryn come into his own and step out of his brothers shadow. I wanted to see Damien, Arum and Rilla navigating their new relationship. I wanted to know more of the fate of Rilla’s parents, Damien’s past, the consequences Arum would surely face after defying the monster court. I wanted Marc to finally be recognized by his fellow knights, to watch as Caroline lead the journeymen knights, while learning to trust in others as she was beginning to do. I wanted Angelo continuing to unlearn the implicit biases that had been instilled in him as a result of his upbringing, or more details on Caroline and Quanyii’s relationship. I was also curious!! How would human and monster relations change after the events of the finale? And would we learn more of the past, when humans and monsters lived together in peace?

I was buzzing with excitement for season 3, and then.. it came, it aired, and then it went.

And I felt... meh?

Don’t get me wrong. There were moments that I liked. Some of what I hoped to see did happen (see the above paragraph lmao), getting a glimpse of the western wastes with its own culture a joy. The dynamics between Olala and some of the characters were really fun! And the direction the story took at the end was one I didn’t expect, but left me open to more.

That said,,, everything else about the season just. Didnt gel with me.

Everything I loved about second citadel pretty much wasn’t there??? Aside from Caroline, Angelo and Quanyii, all the characters they spent so much time introducing to us and fleshing out over 2 seasons were just relegated to the side??

I think my main problem with season 3 was that it felt like a completely different show. Characters introduced as part of an ensemble became side characters in (what was supposed to be) their own stories. Character arcs that got set up were dropped, and mysteries/backstories teased were forgotten. Heck, the monster court and senate wasn’t even brought up! The aftermath of the fear bugs attack ont the citadel went unexplored! It’s like nothing in the past season even happened!

And I’m sorry I gotta say this, but the problem is Olala.

I mean. Okay I don’t wanna be super mean- she’s perfectly fine as a character. We root for her, we cry when she cries, and we cheer when she wins the day.

But since all the episodes were centered around her, we didn’t get to see anyone else’s inner worlds. And like okay, yes, they did it for this season of Juno Steel too, where Juno, the previous POV a character for 2 seasons, became a part of an ensemble, and was a side character for many episodes. But this choice worked for Juno and not Second Citadel, because it was a natural progression for his story! We spent 2 seasons exploring Juno’s character, his backstory, his motivations, we saw him come to terms with his family history, grow and change as a person, and by the time he joined the Carte Blanche, we’d gotten to a point with Junos story where we’re okay to step away for a while, and see events through the lens of others.

But that just?? Doesn’t work in second citadel? Because unlike Juno, the characters introduced in s1-2 are virtually unexplored! There’s still so much about their stories we don’t know, and so many ways for them to progress.

But we didn’t get any of that! Stuff established in s1-2 barely got payoff in this season. Characters stagnated, and when previously it was amazing to watch them interact with each other? Having each episode throw different combinations of characters together and seeing how they clashed and came together? Yeah we didn’t get that, it was all the same characters bouncing off of Olala, which is fine at first, but honestly? After the first couple episodes, it got stale.

And remember how before, we would get to see the characters tell their story through a medium suited for them? Well I noticed that the format of this season was a lot moreee audio drama-y (basically a TV show but with no visuals) and while there’s nothing wrong with that, one of SC’s strengths was in using the medium in unique ways, presenting the episodes in unique formats depending on the POV character. And with the exception of a few moments, the season really lacked that!

I know there were episodes in s1-2, like caves of discord and the Janus beast which didnt follow that format, but I think it’s a fan consensus that the episodes that do (moonlit hermit, KOTC lots, lady of the lake) are favourites, because they fully embraced the advantages and limitations those framing devices offered, and were truly perfect for character exploration.

It’s like. Idk. Imagine wolf 359 s3 where the si5 were introduced, and there was like 1-2 episodes of them interacting with the rest of our cast, but then after that the rest of the season just completely focuses on Eiffel and the new characters, and everyone else just disappears n twiddles their thumbs and doesn’t even do anything during the finale. That’s what happened this season, and that’s the kinda weird vibe I’m talking about.

Since I’m already rambling, I might as well just say some more stuff. I was disappointed with the music this season. I can tell Ryan Vibert was trying to figure a way to make SC sound different from Juno, and he was getting there in s1-2! The pieces that stand out now are the soft, acoustic guitar pieces, like Rillas song, or the lone melody line of the guitar in the SC theme. I thought he was getting it with s3e1, when Marc fought the dinosaur while traditional Japanese instruments were playing!! But then for the rest of the season, it was just samey echoey ambient electric guitar, like how it is for Juno. There could’ve been so much potential to give this world its own musical identity, but in the end, that attempt was dropped (at least that’s how it come off to me), just like so many other elements introduced in s1-2!

I’ve gotten this far in my rant, and I haven’t even talked about the story. And the story is. Hmmmmm

Like. It’s completely serviceable? Kabert are good at what they do so the story is a okay I guess? But to be completely honest, the characters and story were so tied together in previous seasons, so much so that in this season, even though the plot was just fine, it stayed just that. Fine. it always felt like there was something missing because the characters were the story, and to have just. So many holes in that department meant that the story itself was fundamentally empty.

Anyways uh. All of this is to say that this all boils down to character. I had my nits to pick with other elements but the fact that Rilla, Arum, Damien, Marc and Talfryn got completely sidelined (Tal most of all) when so much of the previous seasons were spent setting them up- in favour of a completely new storyline featuring new characters and settings when there was still so! Much! Left! Unfinished! From unfulfilled arcs to dynamics left untapped, and creative potential lost, the essence of the show was watered down and it left me with the intense feeling of

Idk. Season 3 felt like a completely different show. I liked s1, I loved a2, but s3 just. isnt second citadel for me. I’ll probably still listen to the next season out of loyalty, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel as passionately about the shows future as I do it’s precious seasons, especially if they continue this way.

Sorry.

#wow thanks for reading all that if you made to to the bottom #I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for a while but I couldn’t sleep last night bc Thoughts so here #I feel like I’m swinging a bat at a hornets nest even though I’m not putting this in the fandom tags ah well #and uhh I guess it’s okay to reblog this??#my posts

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chinesegal · 4 years

Text

In defence of Boa Hancock, again

To preface: today I encountered an ask with a response so bad it made me boil with anger:

the op hates Hancock’s character, which is something I try to accept despite my personal feelings, however I do not believe its disrespectful to post this, its a public post on a social media forum and I don’t have enough followers that can make harassment campaigns possible.

So right now, I will refute their points bit by bit, each time copypasting their words into quotation marks, and my refutations below.

Their words:

“ Can you imagine how outraged the fandom would be, if they were cisswapped? For two seconds, let’s imagine a Luffyko & male!Boa: there would be oodles & oodles of posts about how he’s sexually harassing Luffyko, how No means No, & breaking down the fact that this character is not a good person by any means. That doesn’t happen though, because Boa’s a woman & Luffy’s a 17 yr old in this screenshot. “

Nope. Sanji turned to stone when seeing Shirahoshi because of the sheer lust he was feeling at the time, and then went on acting servile and adoring around her, serving her tea because she’s a woman/girl he’s attracted to, like many:

And Shirahoshi is 16, Sanji was 21. Brook asked to see Shirahoshi’s panties, and asked this question to many other women. The fandom in general doesn’t seem to care, which is a problem. Their actions are creepy, but no one cares.

But what makes me truly angry is the one screenshot they try to use to prove that Boa’s predatory:

this one. “Luffy’s only 17 in this screenshot”, they say.

“What’s the context for this image?”-you might ask. The answer: sure as fucking hell not Boa trying to seduce or take advantage of Luffy. Here, she is revealing the brand on her back that would forever mark her as property, as less than human for life. Its an eternal reminder to her of the years of abuse and trauma she went through as a child. She is definetely not being “seductive” or sexual here, and nudity isnt the same as being sexual, especially not in this context.

It enrages me that they try to portray this shot where Boa is opening up about her abuse and trauma as her trying to “sexually harassing” Luffy.

they then goes on about how men can be raped and abused by women, which is true but Hancock has done absolutely nothing abusive to Luffy, not in the screenshot unless you count trying to kill him as “abuse”.

“Bias that men can’t be abused influences do-Gooder purity warriors that try to claim Sanji’s a sexual predator”- they say, a quote I feel distasteful. I dont think Sanji’s a sexual predator but if you do like him and ignore his behavior towards girls younger than Luffy, then you are just as hypocritical.

“ There is no reason why a 29 yr old should be almost violently, definitely insistently pursuing a 17 yr old. It’s disgusting, it’s creepy, it’s gross. Her tragic backstory does not give her leeway either. “

Boa Hancock has never been “violent”, nor said or done anything inappropriate to Luffy. She fantasizes about being his wife sure, and the agegap is awkward, but she acts like a 12 year old girl experiencing her first crush. She’s so naive that she thinks Luffy’s hug means they are married. It is very likely, if not explicitly canon that she doesnt know how healthy adult relationships function because of her whole backstory. That is the reason it’s impossible for me to see her as predatory, not because of gender but because how innocent she actually is when it comes to sex and romance.

Luffy is also not a tactful person; he would tell her if her behavior creeps him out but never does, showing that Boa’s actions doesnt make him uncomfortable at all.

And yes, her backstory does explain a lot, and it is the entire reason I sympathize with her despite her actions, which aren’t even that bad when compared to other pirates.

They then claim that during the infiltration of Impel Down, Hancock “made everything about herself and how she is going to marry Luffy”, somehow proving that she’s “selfish” and “irredeemable”, then they claim “Boa Hancock is the same character archetype as other One Piece villains, just obsessed with her beauty and ability to exploit people for her own gain” and “she knows what she is doing is wrong, she brags about it even”.

This made me almost as angry as the use of the screenshot.

Boa fawns over Luffy during the Impel Down escape, but to say she isnt “selfless” enough despite the fact that she’s breaking into a maximum security prison where visitors like her have to be completely helpless, a place controlled by the very people who enslaved her when she was a child.

A single word from Magellan, someone in the World Government, or the Celestial Dragons themselves and she would have been doomed. What if she was searched and the brand identifying her as a slave was discovered? What if the Celestial Dragons have long known that she is their former slave and the World Government has been waiting for an opportunity to catch her in a situation like this so they can take her back to Mariejois and “return” her to the Celestial Dragons? Those are real, valid, and terrifying concerns for someone in Hancock’s position, and yet she did it all anyway for Luffy.

Yes, she fantasized about Luffy loving her during the infiltration, but y’know, that is ridiculous to focus on when characters like Sanji rants about wanting to cook and dote on women the straw hats are trying to save, fantasizing about being their “prince charming”. The SH themselves never aid innocents unless to help someone they befriended, they are not gonna intervene in a conflict even if thousands of people die. So no, Boa would never help anyone she didnt care about, she helps Luffy because she loves him and to focus on the 5 seconds she fantasizes about their “romance” is silly and shitty.

About her “boasting” about the bad things she’s done, words arent the same as actions and her shown actions were not shown to be worse than any other pirate. She turns other pirates and marines to stone, but Mihawk killed almost 5000 people just to pass the time and he gets no flack for it. The SH have contributed directly to the death of marines who just do their jobs. Her kicking baby seals, throwing away expensive gems and destroying children’s statues are petty things I dont care about, and just part of a persona to dissuade others from thinking she’s weak, she doesnt truly believe her own people would love her unconditionally if she spends years lying to them about her past. Hancock is no remorseless murderer like Enel and Crocodile, the reason she became a schischibukai was to protect her people.

As for surrounding herself with “enablers”, there’s not exactly any living person other than Nyon and Rayleigh who knows about her past and she can open up to. Her own culture demands she show no weakness, which would make that even harder.

@the-cat-under-telperion

@chromatic-lamina

@fan-tasmic

I want your take on this.

#One piece #luffy #boa hancock #bad post op #fandom drama #fandom wank

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bnhaficsforthesoul · 4 years

Note

You are too good to us you know that? My request (for whenever you get to it 0 rush) is more of the Deadpool quirk S/o to where the reason they didnt tell anyone, along with doubting anyone beliveing them, is that they have some really tramatic memories of being killed sevral times at a young age or being a human experiment or something else really bad, so they were scared that if they said anything it would happen again. Them telling Dabi & Tomura why. Love how you write hurt/comfort. ❤🧡💛💚💙

Thank youuu 💜💜

Warning: abuse

Dabi

Your parents were doctors, and thinking that your special quirk was a great way to make some money, they completely exploited it

Barely treated you as their kid, except when it was necessary

“Of course we love you, but we’re doing this to benefit society. Don’t you want to help everyone? Be a good kid and listen to us, we’re your parents, you can trust us.”

They would experiment various poisons or chemicals and test it on you, seeing how long they would take to kill you or how much was needed

And then what could counteract those to see if they could heal you

Would perform various surgeries on you to see how they affected your body

Then they would use this ‘research’ and give it to the medical community - making a name for themselves in how great it was that they were doing so much work to help society

They had no care for what happened to you, you died countless times due to their experiments

You managed to run away when you were like 14, stealing enough of their money to get by for a little while until you figured out how to survive in the world

What you deemed the worst was that they pretended like they loved you the whole time- that gave you serious trust issues, how could anyone mean it when they say they love you? Theyll probably just use you again

So when you met Dabi, of course you never told him

Even though you know you love him, and you want to believe that he means it when he says he loves you, youre not sure

And youre scared that hell decide to exploit your quirk himself, maybe tell someone who would give him a lot of money so they can have you

But of course you ended up ‘dying’ around him, and you gave him the quick excuse of ‘oh people dont believe me haha’ since you didn’t wanna tell him the truth and he seemed to believe it

However, weeks later, you noticed how nothing changed

He hasnt treated you any differently and you havent randomly been kidnapped or something, so he must not have done anything with the knowledge of your quirk

And once you realized that - you immediately broke down because, you actually started to believe for the first time that he truly loves and cares about you - you can trust Dabi and youre unbelievably happy about that

Like you run to find him and just throw yourself into your arms

Hes so confused, youre crying but smiling and he just has no idea whats going on

But then you pull him back into your room and hes like ‘whats up?’

And you finally tell him all about your past - he just sits there shocked, shocked and angry

Doesnt say much the entire time, he just holds your hands tightly as you speak and tears keep flowing down your face

Once your done, he pulls you into a tight hug, starting to cry himself

“Listen to me, I wont let that happen ever again. You’re safe with me. I promise.”

He really doesnt know how to react - hes just pissed and sad

He probably wants to go find your parents and kill them, but for right now you just want to be with him and hes fine with that

Hell hold you all night and just tell you how thankful he is for you and how much he loves you - its going to be a rare, open moment with him

He never talks about what he actually feels, but he knows that you really need to hear it so hell talk about it all night

Shigaraki

You grew up in a family that didn’t want you

It was just your mom, she was an alcoholic and had no money - and she absolutely hated you

She wasnt even aware of what your quirk was, one day she got upset and hit you over the head with a wine bottle really hard, and you died

Only to come back later

Honestly that just made her more angry, shed constantly hit you and whatnot with no care to if you died

And since you technically couldnt die, she wouldnt even feed you for months at a time

Your entire childhood was spent suffering, but you didn’t know what to do if you left

She told you how youre a freak and no one would want you, so you stayed

However, she died when you were 12 due to her alcoholism and overall not being able to take care of herself

And you were alone

You became a petty criminal - stealing what you needed to survive and just trying to get by without suffering too much

Besides, at least you had food sometimes now

When you were 19, you heard of this League of Villains - and decided you might as well join, you didn’t care what they were about, it was a place where you could try and find a purpose for yourself

And then you met Tomura - he liked you pretty quick since you weren’t there for Stain, even though you weren’t really there for him in the beginning either

You didn’t think bothering him with your past was important, besides - this is a group of villains. And even though he’s never hurt you and you wanted to trust him, he could literally kill you with a touch, and hes gotten pretty close to killing other members

So you didn’t see why he wouldnt be against killing you if he knew you wouldnt die, you knew he cared about you so he wouldnt kill you, but you werent sure what he would do if given the chance

But then he found out about your quirk when you died, and he didn’t do anything - even though he was kinda mad at you afterwards

You felt bad just saying you thought he wouldnt believe you since obviously he didnt think it was a good enough answer to hide it from him for so long

So one day he was playing video games and you were sitting next to him, and you randomly started talking about it

“When I said I didn’t tell you because I thought you wouldn’t believe me- it wasn’t exactly the truth.”

And hes like ya i kinda guessed, but he expects you to continue explaining exactly why

And honestly its gonna be rough, cause he has troubles with how much you trust him, so hes kinda hurt that you thought he would hurt you

But he tries to understand that you felt you could trust no one, and that it wasn’t just him

“That bitch is lucky shes already dead…”

Hes not all to great at comforting, but he is glad that you told him

“Do you trust me now?”

As long as you promise that you trust that he wont hurt you now, then hell let it go. He wont say anything really, but hell kinda change the subject to a lighter one

“I’m bored of this game… grab that controller and play something with me.”

#dabi headcanons #dabi imagine #dabi x reader #dabi #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki imagine #shigaraki headcanons #shigaraki tomura #league of villains #bnha #mha

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