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nsokolow · 1 year

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Little Weasel, Big City: Chapter 16

As Travis stayed behind and chatted with the farmers, Leilani and Duke followed the deer into the large tent.

A young animal, mostly white with a few black splotches, dressed in a pink hoodie and plaid purple slacks, sat on a couch and played a game on her phone.

“Unusual lookin’ goat,” Duke whispered.

“Her fur’s pretty curly for a goat,” Leilani whispered back.

The deer cleared his throat. “Excuse me, PJ? There’s some weasels who wanna work here?”

The animal looked up from her phone. “‘Kay. Thanks, Raymond.” She sat up, looked at the weasels, and patted the free spots on the couch.

The deer left the tent.

Leilani and Duke sat next to the animal on the couch. Leilani admired her blue sparkling eyeshadow.

“So, I’m Paula Junior, but you can call me PJ, like most animals do. So, you’re looking for jobs here? Why’s that?”

“Well, you see, my husband and I have just fallen upon hard times, and we need to make easy, quick money before we end up homeless.”

“Dang. Sorry. Sounds awful. So, what’re your names?”

“I’m Leilani. Leilani Must—Weaselton.”

“Duke Weaselton.”

“Cool. So, you guys interested in farming, delivery, genetic modification?”

Leilani and Duke nervously stared at each other.

Duke stood up. “Uh…could me and my wife just talk about this privately for a sec?”

“Yeah, cool.” PJ returned to her phone and reclined as soon as Duke and Leilani left the couch.

“I got no idea what we should pick!” Duke whispered as he and Leilani stood against one of the walls of the tent.

Leilani glanced at PJ and was relieved she was too focused on her phone to be suspicious of them. “Well, I mean, if we picked genetic modification or farming, we’d be around PJ and the farmers more, so we’d be more likely to find out what’s going on.”

“Yeah, sounds good, toots. So, what do ya know about gene modifyin’ stuff?”

“Uh…nothing. Let’s go with farming!”

Duke nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout gene modifyin’ stuff, either.”

The two confidently approached PJ.

“We’ve decided we’d be best at farming,” Leilani announced.

PJ put her phone down. “Okay, great. You two are hired. Pay’s every Friday, and Ray’s gonna show you the ropes. Can you start tomorrow at eight a.m.?”

Leilani opened her mouth to talk, then closed it. “I’m sorry, PJ, can I have a word with my husband again?”

“Sure. Feel free. Who am I to tell animals how to live their married lives?” PJ chuckled and returned to her phone. “Man, I’m funny. I should do stand-up when I get a chance.”

The weasels returned to the same wall.

“I have work tomorrow at ten; when do you have work?” Leilani whispered.

Duke nervously set his teeth. “Uh…I actually have work at the same time.”

“I hope this won’t hurt our chances of getting hired!”

“We’ll just tell her we gotta babysit our niece. How long you got work?”

“Five hours. You?”

“Four.”

Leilani bit her claws. “Well, hopefully we can start tomorrow afternoon.”

“Only one way to find out!”

Leilani and Duke returned to PJ.

“We’d love to start at eight, but we gotta babysit our niece. Her mom’s in the hospital, and her dad’s got work, so it’s not always predictable when we gotta watch after her.” Duke sadly nodded.

“Aww, really? How old?” PJ asked.

“Two,” Leilani piped up.

“Well, family’s important. I would know. Wish more of my family knew, but it is what it is.” PJ grimaced. “Anyway, when’s the earliest you’re available?”

Leilani took a moments count in her head. “Would four-thirty in the afternoon work?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure! We could use some afternoon shift workers, anyway.”

Leilani squealed and clapped. “Yay! Thank you so much for hiring us!”

PJ appeared a bit startled. “Uh, yeah! No problem.”

“Travis!” Leilani shouted as she ran out of the tent. “We’re hired!”

Travis stopped watering the plants. “No way! Great! You’re gonna love PJ. She’s another good thing ‘bout this job.”

“Yeah, and we’ll be coworkers!”

“So, what jobs did you and Duke take?”

“We’re going to be farmers. PJ said that Raymond would teach us.”

“Yeah, well, he’s been at it for a while. There ain’t really much to learn, though.” Travis continued watering.

Duke emerged from the tent and ran up to Travis. “Travis, I just gotta know…why’s PJ’s fur so curly? I ain’t ever seen a goat with curly fur.”

“Come to think of it, I don’t think she has horns either!” added Leilani.

“Oh, uh, well, she’s…” Travis lowered his voice to a whisper as he bent down to Duke and Leilani’s level, “A geep.”

“A geep?” Duke exclaimed. “What’s a geep?”

“Shhh!” Travis frantically turned his head in all directions. “She’s half goat, half sheep.”

Leilani gasped. “No way! Really? That’s fascinating! I heard of them here and there, but I didn’t know they were real! I wonder if PJ can bleat like a sheep and a goat!”

“I ain’t actually ever heard of ‘em ever!” added Duke.

“Shhh!” Travis waved his paws at them.

“Hey, what’s your problem?” Duke threw his paws in the air. “What’s so bad about talkin’ about PJ bein’ a geep?”

“Well, nothin’ exactly.” Travis shrugged. “It’s just…ya know how touchy of an issue cross-breedin’ can be. For all I know, some animals here might not treat her the same or even keep workin’ here if they knew. Some probably already figured it out, I mean, you guys kinda did.”

“How’d ya know?” Duke asked.

“Well, ya know, she don’t look like a regular goat, and out of curiosity, I looked her up online and saw that her birth made the news about twenty-five years ago.”

Raymond approached the group. “Hey, ready for me to show you the ropes?”

Leilani and Duke turned to him.

“Oh, right. Yeah,” Duke answered.

That evening, Leilani and Duke sat on the couch and watched Family Goat. They both agreed it would alleviate their nervousness about their “mission.”

They were mostly right.

“Ha, Peter Goatffin ain’t got nothin’ on that guy. He’s totally gonna lose the race,” Duke said, his mouth full of popcorn.

“Well, I mean, he’s Peter! He’s not going to figure that out until he actually loses the race. I mean, on one hand, I want him to win, but on the other hand, he needs to stop being so full of himself.” Leilani took a handful of popcorn.

Duke swallowed. “Ya know, I honestly can’t believe I found a job at your workplace. I mean, what are the odds, right?”

“Yeah!” Leilani swallowed and took a sip of her apple juice. “I guess a lot of married couples would like that, I don’t know.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

After a few more episodes and a finished bowl of popcorn, Leilani announced she was going to brush her teeth.

When Leilani finished brushing her teeth, she peeked out the bathroom door and saw Duke unfolding the blanket on the couch.

She really didn’t want him to sleep on the couch again. She really enjoyed cuddling with him the night before, and she felt like she needed to again, because of how worried she was about tomorrow.

“Say, Duke?”

Duke dropped the blanket. “Yeah?”

“After you brush your teeth, do you wanna…sleep in the same bed again?”

“Oh, wow! No way! Yeah! Thanks!” Duke ran through the door as Leilani held it open.

“Yeah, I’m just really nervous about tomorrow, so…”

“Yeah, it’s cool!” Duke began to floss.

In the dark, with hints of moonlight and city lights peeking through the blinds, Leilani and Duke silently laid in bed facing each other.

“So,” Leilani said after the few minutes of silence, “How did you become part of the criminal underworld, anyway?”

Duke felt a lurch in his stomach. Nobody had ever asked him that before.

“Oh, uh, well…it’s kind of a long story.”

#disney #zootopia #zootopia fanfiction #duke weaselton #zootopia oc #zootopia travis

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takalzuoom · 2 years

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I gotta say. I'm a fan of your beastman s/o headcannons. I love them so much! I can't even describe so I wanna request (Hope you don't mind ^^)

Leona with a Lioness s/o who almost has the same attitude as him (except for the lazy part because being a woman from Afterglow Savanah is a very big deal) aloof, barely smiles (But looks cute when she does), quiet but sassy. ^^

OCOAPEPE TYSM😩🖤

I have so many ideas for twst x beastman reader I thank you all for making me write more of it 🙇🏻

basically, me begging y’all to request more beastman reader 🙈

note!: also! i hope this is okay as i feel like i went a bit off track 🙇🏻

𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐱 𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

BUT IT’S SAID IN THE WIKI THAT LEONA IS WARY OF THE WOMAN IN AFTERGLOW

also! the personality of lionesses says that they’re ambitious and independent and are very caring and protective of their family

and fun fact! lions and lionesses sleep about 16-20 hours a day😺

so for the scenario, I'll make her a step up from Leona

AND OH MY GOD-

okay okay, so when he’s at home for break I kinda see him almost avoiding the women there. like if there’s an especially rowdy one in the room, he’ll just dip.

it was Cheka's birthday party, and with Cheka adoring his uncle, that gave Ferna an even bigger reason to just insist that his brother stayed

…unless… Leona wants to babysit Cheka for a whole month while Ferna and his wife go on vacation🤥

😺

so he’s being blackmailed

but after having cake and shooing his needs away to play with his annoying friends, he slithers into the shadows and dips 😽✌️

until🧍🏻

“Leona, is it? Why are you leaving the party?" You growled

Leona stiffened, eyes widening as he turned to see you in all your glory.

“y/n” he growled

"Don't wear it out"

you were one of Farena’s friends- well, acquaintance as your younger brother was Cheka's friend.

he’s seen you around, hard not to when you're such a bachelorette in sunset savannah. with your toned stature and fierce eyes- would rather die than admit that his gaze has lingered on you for a little too long

all in all. you were the perfect woman. and a huge thorn in his ass.

“ 's nothing but a child's play date. So I dont see why I'm needed. The little bugger can handle himself." he yawns, stretching as he starts walking away "and besides, it's cutting into my nap time"

you snort out a laugh, glaring at him as you jogged to catch up with the prince. Gripping his shoulder when you caught up with him. Forcing him to look at you.

“ Listen up you big oaf- I'm not about to have you ruin this for my brother, and in extension Cheka, your nephew “

you growled, inching closer to his face as his face contorted into... well- you didn't care. Sizing him up, you whispered.

"You're gonna turn around, march back into his litter party and enjoy yourself. I don't care if you sleep in the middle of the room- but you're going back there."

And that's when he remembered Ferna's words - 'Go big or go home

"Well someone has their panties in a twist"

💀

One, he either sucked up his pride and returned. immediately getting a hug from Cheka who was tearing up from the previous lack of Leona

Or two... he pretended your threat didn't send a chill up his spine and kept walking. Shivering when he was yards away from your glowering form

so with a thumping foot and crossed arms, you smirked as you thought of doing the next best thing- snitch on Leona

After that, he sees a lot more of you around the palace, bold as ever as he can feel you silent eyes on him wherever he goes.

but when you weren't- he could help but keep a lazy eye on you. Watching your moves from a safe enough distance as he recalled the last time you spoke...

(Last week you called him a ' saber-tooth loser for god knows what reason- LIKE WHO WERE YOU TALKING TO? HE'S A GODDAMN PRINCE!)

but the more Leona watched you, the more he noticed how you stayed more to yourself. Conversations not striking you as you would either just sit and watch or even sometimes live.

But beyond that, you’re a force to be reckoned with. standing proud as you had the words to match.

But he didn’t need that right now ✋🙄

being at home for the holidays was awful enough, but you? you unnerved him. Opting to ignore you when you were around, he was counting the days until he went back to school so he could trade one big problem for a smaller one... to say the least

but with a hug to Cheka and half-assed wave to his brother, he makes his way to his mirror, a smirk o his face as he can finally go back to normal with no more of your torturing. No more of your judgy looks or snark comments.

He finally got control.

“what are you talking about.”

with a bag over your shoulder and a smirk on your face, you stroll over to him, giving him ' flirty, is that what it was? Wave as he couldn't help but clench his fists as you walked through the mirror first.

“but- but it's an all-guys school-“

“We have our ways” Ferna beamed

and Leona was -too busy observing you- never informed that your brother was going to stay with Cheka... while you... went to NRC

Turns out you were over so much was because you were setting out living arrangements with his brother- for yours

and all the venomous words and judgemental stares were only the beginning of your epic love story 🤒

the school got a slap to the face when you arrived

not because you were a girl- but because you were a female lion beast-man 😦

you have a rivalry with jack- to which you later take him under your wing after awkward congratulations and pat smack on the back

he was sore for days after that

a shiver racked down Leona's spine just thinking about how much you reminded him of his old self.

other than gym class, you tried to care about your studies, though all the fidgeting and wondering thoughts didn't help

so you took constant walks to do something

but when you took over 'his' garden, and was Leona happy about that? no.

and was he happy about you making savanaclaw a shit show? no.

so there was going to be a confrontation whether he liked it or not. and it wasn’t pretty.

Ruggie, who was hiding behind a large plant in the garden came out paler than the desert sand, only being able to say that it was like two Leona's facing off.

but he described you as ‘eviler than the devil’ cause you were so much bigger than him😭 he was so scared he went to bed right after 😭😭

AFTER THAT THE RUMORS OF YOU ONLY GOT WORSE- SO MUCH SO THAT MALLEUS WANTED TO CHECK YOU OUT HIMSELF AND AZUL TRIED TO RECRUIT YOU

you sure you’re a lion and not an eel🤨

Ruggie doesn’t breathe the same air as you. You're so... sassy 😟

avoiding you as much as he can at school😭

“what- no- it’s not because I’m scared… it’s because they’re a pain in my ass”

he has eyes on you whoever you’re around. like if he’s in class and you’re answering a question on the board, he’ll have his head in his arms, making it look like he’s sleeping even though his eyes never leave you for a second

and when he sees you with jack and the first year gang, he’s grumpier than usual, tail flicking annoyingly as Ruggie asks him what’s wrong, only to get Leona's soul-destroying glare 😭

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHY HE'S MAD BUT HE JUST DOESN'T LIKE SEEING YOU HANG OUT WITH LOSERS

though he does find it amusing when you put people in their place

you two start off extremely rocky, but when you're on the spell drive field- and oh boy oh boy 😈 you’re both a force to be reckoned with

that’s where you both grow closer actually.

both finding the other to be the only suitable partner to practice with when Jack is too busy trying to get the first years out of trouble

though you both skip out on practice when it gets a little too boring- ya’ll even shit-talking the other team, snickering when they glance over to see you two huddled together, ears twitching and tails swaying mischievously

YALL ARE MIDDLE SCHOOL BULLIES STOP

though after some time...

he’s still anxious wary of you, but you can both be seen snoozing away in the gardens together or even walking to class

and you both have these times where you’ll just sit and enjoy each others company, not saying a word as he rests his head on your thigh. the feeling of your hands feeling through his hair, brain ding and unbraiding his hair was something he looked forward to…

it was there to help you unwind and get away from everyone- it was something he’d never tell you he looked forward to and enjoyed.

and even if you guys grow closer, no one can tell as you don’t bother telling others about your personal affairs, and you’re both too prideful to show anything 💀

y’all flirt a little too much- please stop you're making everyone uncomfortable with your idea of flirting

which is insulting each other.

y’all once slept side by side in the gardens on a partially sunny day, Ruggie found you two close together, tails intertwined

after that, Ruggie sees Leona with you more and more, unconsciously fixing his hair

staring Ruggie down when he’s with you-

🧍🏻

oh boy

I don’t even think Leona knows that he’s performing lion courting rituals until Ruggie pointed it out-

Leona denies these claims

“no. no. I don't like them. it’s just because they’re the only woman here. that’s all”

WHEN YALL GO BACK TO AFTERGLOW IT GETS WORSE

cause Ruggie isn’t there to catch Leona slipping… but instead his brother is 😟

Ferna after watching Leona watch you play with your brother: 😼 oh yeah, it’s all coming together now

I would like to say the final nail on the coffin was when he saw you smile.

it’s always been aloof stares and side eyes-

but when you both came back from school, you looked around a bit, grumbling as you ignored all the ‘welcome homes’

but when you saw your brother and cheka standing at the back of the crowd, you pushed everyone and just ran to him

He never saw you smile so wide, or laugh so carefree when your brother clung to you, tail wrapping around your arm as you tucked his head into the crook of your neck.

he felt nauseous, as his stomach did flips and somersaults as you made eye contact with him, that… smile still stretched in your face

“so” his brother purred, immediately earning a disgusted face from the latter as he wrapped his arm around Leona, Cheka trapping him by wrapping himself around his uncle's leg as he beamed up at Leona

“When's the wedding?”

"I hate this family"

#takalzuoom #kai…🌊#anime x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #leona twst #twisted wonderland leona #twisted wonderland leona x reader #leona kingscholar twst #savanaclaw x reader #savanaclaw #leona kingscholar savanaclaw

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melonlthawne · 2 years

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baby thad needed to be pulled off of wallys face and he'd continue to fight whoever held him until meloni held him and he just. stops moving and blankly stares like stunned kitten

Wally wasn’t a very superstitious man. However, after being tasked with babysitting probably the most feral baby known to man, he was starting to have some challenging thoughts. Wally was sitting across from Thaddeus, who was giving him the dirtiest stink eye a baby was capable of. How could a creature weighing 16 pounds contain so much evil? Furthermore, what kind of magic was Meloni capable of to keep this little monster in check?

Anytime Meloni went off to do an errand or was preoccupied with something, someone else had to watch over Thad. Which would be fine if he was your run of the mill kid. But he wasn’t. Especially if you had to hold or physically touch the kid for more than 5 seconds. He would thrash, kick, and bite anyone who had to touch him, including Iris, which was crazy since Bart was Thad’s identical twin and Bart melted like butter in the presence of Iris. But even his heavenly aunt couldn’t handle the demon that was Thad.

Wally was lucky enough to be the person Thad was bestowed upon. He had been staring at the baby for maybe an hour now, contemplating if he should do something or not. He decided to test his luck and came closer, poking Thad in the tummy to see his response.

The baby glared at Wally and as Wally’s hand made contact with Thad’s stomach, Thad batted the man’s hand away, swatting at it viciously until Wally gave in and retracted his hand away.

“You are so feisty. Do you even realize how small you are ? You couldn’t hurt me if you tried. Which, by the way, why do you hate me so much? I mean there’s gotta be a reason.” Wally narrated. Thad just stared back at him with a huge pout and angry eyes.

“Alright, don’t believe me? Let’s see something.” Wally reached over and plucked Thad up from his spot to hold him. Thad frantically looked around like a scared animal but the fear was quickly replaced with rage as Thad began squirming in Wally’s grip, kicking and punching at the man’s face repeatedly whether or not it was actually doing anything.

“Hey! Knock it off!” Wally yelped, trying to pull him away but Thad managed to get a grip of the man’s curly hair and continued his frenzy of beating Wally up. This went on for at least 3 minutes until the door opened up behind them both revealing Meloni who had just gotten back and quickly caught wind of what was happening.

The moment Mel closed the door and looked towards Wally, she sprung into action and pulled Thad off Wally’s face, holding him tightly so he couldn’t reattach himself to the speedster.

“Thaddeus! You cannot do that!” Mel exclaimed, repositioning Thad so that he could look at her. Now relinquished from Wally, Thad hung there limp with big eyes, looking like a stunned kitten.

“How come he doesn’t attack you..?” Wally sighed, feeling his face for new scratches that Thad had given him.

“Still trying to figure that out.” Meloni chuckled, sighing afterwards. Thad was clearly over his bad mood, pacified by being held by Mel and just slumped against her shoulder, staring blankly at them both.

#thaddeus thawne #meloni allen #meloni thawne #wally west #the flash #inertia #flash fam #flash family #au #I had fun writing this dudjdjdj #baby tag #my writing

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giaourtopita · 3 years

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oh no i was summoned by a religiously traumatised 17 year old and now i gotta babysit them

okay this is based on my mc but since they don't have a name they will be addressed as mc. i got this idea from @asmo-ds 's discord server since we talk about religious trauma all the time there, so please check out her profile!!

also, shout out to @softcloudycandy for beta reading this for me. i apologise if i made lucifer a bit too soft, however i like to think he would soften up a little if the mc was a minor, especially considering that the twins and lilith used to be his favourite siblings.

warnings; religious trauma, slight bullying mention, underage gn mc, it's kind of a crack\fluff fic idk.

in which the brothers are summoned by a young mc and just hang out together, minus belphie of course because lesson 16.

*mc was sitting in the public library looking for a new fantasy book to read, they really loved those. they also loved the fact that some of their teachers were getting agitated over the fact mc found interesting fiction related to angels and most importantly demons. mc loved to get into arguments with religious teachers but that usually ended up with having to go to the principal's office. so they started looking for an alternative.*

*after some searching they found an old, dusty looking book that seems to be pretty interesting. mc decided to take it home with them. turns out it was an old grimoire about summoning demons, not sure if it was genuine or not they decided that it would be fun to try and summon one of the demons listed there.*

*mc saw many names, including mephistopheles and barbatos. however one of these names managed to catch their attention, the name of the demon in question was lucifer. they learned about him in class but how accurate can a religious teacher be about him compared to just asking him things yourself? mc heard their mother's footsteps and quickly hid their new book in an attempt not to have it taken away by their religious parents. they hated that their parents were like that, it's like they weren't allowed to like anything aside from church and studying the bible.*

*meanwhile in the house of lamentation, lucifer had just finished doing some rad-related paperwork and was about to grab something to eat before going to bed. much to his dismay he will have to wait before eating something because apparently someone crazy enough managed to summon him.*

*lucifer gets angry but once he looks around in the room he was in, he quickly realizes he was summoned by someone quite young in age. mc was hiding behind some pillows for protection, even though they knew pillows would never be able to protect them.*

lucifer: hello? why was i summoned in the middle of the night?

*mc peaked their head from where they were hiding and looked at lucifer, they instantly felt relieved that he didn't look like the goat that was shown in the picture of their school book. they welcomed him and introduced themselves to him as politely as they could. usually they were rude to adults because of how stuck up they thought they were. despite that, this time they tried to be as nice as possible not wanting to anger the demon.*

mc: okay so i summoned you here because I found someone's grimoire in the library and thought it would be very interesting ask you some things, since we just learned about you in school. i didn't really think this was possible because i don't really believe in that stuff so i'm just as surprised as you.

*lucifer grinned in amusement noticing all the pictures of religious figures around their room. mc rushed to explain that it was either that or getting going to church every sunday and attending sunday school right after. they had to decide what to do five years ago, when they were only twelve years old. lucifer thought their parents were being too controlling, yes he's pretty controlling himself but he wouldn't force one of his brothers to do things they don't want especially when they have done nothing wrong.*

mc: i hate that they're like this, i can't wait to move out, they're too much. *mc sighed while looking at him and waiting for him to say something.*

lucifer: so what did you want to talk to about?

*mc's face lit up as they brought him one of the books for religious class, lucifer looked at it while trying not to laugh. he can't believe everything that's written in that book is so far from the truth. this will take a while, he thought to himself while trying to prepare for any questions the rebellious student might have.*

*they both sat down on the pillows mc was hiding behind, mc getting ready to hear lucifer's story from lucifer himself. they got excited as that would also give them more material for arguing with their teachers.*

*a few hours later, it was around 3 am. mc and lucifer decided it was time for him to go. mc learned everything he was able to tell them during his time there and mc was grateful for it.*

mc: thank you lucifer!

lucifer: you're welcome, it was fun talking to you. just next time please contact me before summoning me here.

*lucifer writes down a spell for communication through the realms in one of their notebooks and transports himself back into the house of lamentation*

*the next day mc gets into an argument with one of the teachers again. this time they also got a new nickname, lucifer apologist they were getting called by the teacher. mc didn't really care about it because they didn't want people to spread more lies about their new friend.*

*lucifer sees the message that was sent to him using the spell he wrote for them. he found it so funny that mc gained a nickname because of their encounter even if it was at their expense. he can't wait to be summoned again to teach them more stuff. he liked that finally someone wanted to listen to to him even if that someone was not one of his brothers.*

next part >

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surferboypizzas · 3 years

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rank the main st kids from most annoying to least annoying- i sent this ask to another st blog too. compare notes 🤨

ok i'll be your lab rat but i need you to know that i care about all of them, and that i have the emotional complexity it takes to love someone and also hate them. also i'm assuming in this theoretical they are babysitter-needing age not 14 or whatever.

El Hopper. She would be a joy to be around. I cannot think of one single thing she could do that I would find annoying.

Will Byers. Not at all annoying- but I feel like if I was sent over to babysit little ol' William he would just be silent. He would barely speak. Like if I said "Do you want to pick a movie to watch?" at eight he would say "Oh, no I've gotta go to bed at nine. Maybe a show." And I'd say "Cool. I mean it is Saturday so if you pick a one and a half hour movie that would be fine. You could do that." And he'd refuse. You're twelve, sir, you're too young to be tired enough that you are actively excited to sleep at night. He's equally as mentally unwell as Mike, but Mike would take his emotions out on me and Will would bottle them up inside.

Max Mayfield. Definitely wants me to french braid her hair. In an ideal world she would think I was ~cool~ and look up to me or whatever but in all honestly I think she would find me lame. Would a swear a shit ton. Thinks she's too old to need a babysitter but instead of acting all rebellious because of that she acts like we're peers. We aren't on the same level kid, ya mom left me in charge. So I get to put the closed captions on the movie we're watching, and you're gonna have to deal with it! If Billy was going to arrive home before her parents Max would probably try to shove me out the door in fear of Billy killing and/or hitting on me.

Lucas Sinclair. Would beg to eat out, say he'll pay for his own food, then forget his wallet. And, yes, I would have payed for his stupid hamburger and onion rings because I'm a softie that's easily swayed, ok? It also turns out that "coincidentally" three other kids he knows are here with some other babysitter and he dragged me here just to hang out with them. The audacity. But I guess it's fine, loser. Your little sister is funnier anyways.

Dustin Henderson. At first babysitting Dustin would rock because we have similar loser interests and are the same enneagram type and all that jazz. He also has that turtle. That's pretty sick. And Claudia always leaves pizza money. The easiest night of babysitting ever, right? Until the little twerp keeps complaining about you only being here because this random dude named Kleve or whatever was busy playing in an important basketball game. Then Dustin would go on about how originally he was supposed to be at that basketball game but then his mom's old friend came in from out of town and now he's stuck here with me. He'd be all whiny about it. "If only there was a way I could make it to Steve's basketball game!" Then I would take him out of pure irritation, recognize Steve from that time when I was babysitting Lucas, and internally declare him as my mortal enemy. There's only enough room for one babysitter in this here town, pardner. And it sure as hell isn't gonna be you.

Mike Wheeler. I'm so sorry Michael but fuck. I know you don't want to be babysat, I know you are angry that I'm here instead of your sister who apparently "became a bitch" (as you put it so eloquently) or whatever, and I know you had a "important mission that could have saved [my] ass from confronting [my] own mortality." But I needed gas money (because I think in this theoretical I'm like 16 or whatever babysitting age is and probably don't have another job), and Mrs. Wheeler needed a last minute babysitter. So shut up and go reheat the left over pot roast in the fridge yourself while I hang out with your adorable little sister, because Karen said I was the boss. Bummer, I guess you better suck it up and save my mortal ass another day you little devil man. Like- God I know it sucks you missed your D&D game (I assume you're talking about D&D and they're aren't actually monsters coming to kill us, haha) you seem overly invested in, but work with me here for once. Anyways, the joke here is that the world would be ending, and he would probably just sneak out his bedroom window. But before that he would try to start a fight with me and I would indulge him because that kids gotta take out his raging undiagnosed (because it's the 80s) mental problems out on someone.

#stranger things #himbo.st #the party #mike wheeler #max mayfield #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #will byers #el hopper #ask #anon #fave

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erensangel444 · 3 years

Text

pretty young thing

DO NOT INTERACT IF NOT 16+ thank you <3

miya atsumu x reader x milf!oc

possible part 2???

the way i want this fic to be my reality. is there any milfs or dilfs that want me because bae i’m right here :-)

this fic is atsumu + milf!oc x fem!reader, if you guys would want to see some gender neutral fics just let me know in my asks inbox! i’m open to any suggestions, if you want a fic that’s specifically tailored to you whether that be race-wise, gender-wise, any disabilities, etc,. just let me know!

likes/reblogs/comments are always appreciated:D

this fic has been proofread but if i missed something just let me know!

a/n: so for the milf original character(atsumu’s wife), i imagine her to be the mom from erased, because she is one fine mf. i would love to place my head in between her mommy milkers and [REDACTED]....horniness is a disease.

warnings: language(most of my fics do contain language), smut: cuckolding??, sharing of lingerie(but no gross mentions), kissing, mentions of sex, slight mentions of spit.

word count: 3.8k

summary: it’s always fun to be someone’s little plaything.

you were broke, and in desperate need of money. college tuition is no joke, and that was what motivated you to pull the paper strip from the poster on the lampost. you had always been told you were good with kids so you figured babysitting would be an easy way to get money. you slipped the piece of paper containing the phone number into your back pocket, throwing your hands into your coat pockets as you headed home.

you had paced back and forth in your cramped kitchen, the slip of paper in between your fingers. before you could overthink anymore, your phone was in your hand as you dialed the number on the slip of paper.

“hello?” a deep voice interrupted the ringing you heard on the other line. “um h-hi” you cringed at your slight voice crack, “i’m calling about the babysitting offer, i picked up one of the slips outside of a cafe,”. it was silent for a moment before the person on the other line spoke, “oh yeah the fliers, babe!” he yelled, causing you to pull the phone away from your ear slightly.

“got someone for the babysitting job,” “really!” you could hear soft cheer in the background, causing you to smile slightly. you could hear shuffling for a moment before someone began talking on the opposite end of the line, a woman this time. “hi! i’m his wife,” her voice was sweet and soft, “did you tell her our names?”. though you couldn’t see it, atsumu shook his head sheepishly behind the phone.

“of course you didn’t, gotta come behind you and do all the hard work,” she grumbled jokingly, causing you to laugh softly. you swore you could hear a murmur of “last i checked you don’t mind being behind me sometimes,” a slight whine of “tsumu!” following in a chastising tone.

“sorry about that,” she apologized before continuing. “you can call me mrs. miya, if the interview goes well then we’ll be getting very close!” “i’m y/n,” you offered up your name, bouncing back and forth on the heel of your foot due to how nervous you were. “would you like to come by sometime tomorrow? i’ll send you all the details,” mrs. miya offered.

“that’d be great, thank you.”

their home was beautiful, arguably one of the of the prettiest one’s you’d seen. the stucco was a cream color, a beautiful walkway leading up to a set of dark oak doors. there were wall length glass windows looking into various rooms on the first floor of the house, green curtains slightly impairing the view into the home.

you stepped up the stairs of the walkway, ringing the doorbell. you opened the door to be met by a breathtaking man, but you internally shook your head at the thought.

he was happily married.

“hi, y/n?” he smiled. you nodded with a smile of your own, mr. miya opened the door further, motioning for you to come inside. you bowed your head slightly in thanks, stepping inside, mr. miya shutting the door behind you. you stood off to the side, the papers mrs. miya had told you to bring clutched tightly in your hands.

“follow me to the kitchen,” mr. miya smiled at you, to which you nodded in response, a soft smile on your face. their kitchen was beautiful, a dark oak wood floor accompanied by white walls. the cabinets were an olive green color, a few plants neatly hung from the ceiling.

your train of thought was broken as a cheer of your name sounded from across the room, “y/n!”. you turned at the sound, mrs. miya standing up from her chair at the kitchen table. you walked over, mr. miya behind you, smiling at his wife. “nice to meet you,” you smiled. mrs. miya offered her hand, to which you obliged, shaking her hand.

“oh who am i kidding, i’m a hugger,” she pulled you in for a hug. “is this alright?” she whispered into your ear, her hand rubbing at the small of your back. the best you could do was hum out an affirmation, hoping the large gulp you had taken wasn’t noticeable.

you pulled away, your cheeks feeling hot. mr. miya laughed softly from beside you, walking over to his wife, his arm falling to wrap around her waist as he spoke, “now what did we say about hugging strangers?”. mrs. miya just smiled in response, “i have a feeling she won’t be a stranger for too long, dear,”.

they shared intimate eye contact for a moment, causing you to look down at your shoes. “y/n, sit, please,” mrs. miya offered. mr. miya rushed over to your side, pulling out a chair for you. you ushered out a soft thanks, sitting down. “so, we’ll get started with some simple questions, no pressure” mrs. miya started. you nodded in response, shuffling slightly in your chair.

“any previous experience babysitting?”

the questions had lasted for about 40 minutes, the couple asking about your age, school experience, previous job occupancies, what you thought your wage should look like. the questionnaire had lasted barely an hour, but you had been at their home for three.

you had spent two hours conversing with the couple, learning about their life, and them learning about yours. mrs. miya had told you the story of how she had met atsumu, the details causing you to laugh. “he fell in the fountain trying to serenade me,” she laughed. “hey, you promised not to tell anyone that part!” mr. miya whined jokingly, playfully elbowing his wife.

you smiled at the couple, enamored by how in love they were. “what about you?” mr. miya asked, causing you to tilt your head and hum in a questioning tone. “are you in a relationship?” he clarified. the question caused your cheeks to heat up, but you answered nonetheless, “no, i’m not dating anyone right now,” your voice had gotten quieter, “i just ended a relationship about 6 months ago, so i’ve been weary about getting back out there,”.

you stopped there, worried you were boring the couple with the details of your love life, but when you looked up from fiddling with your hands, the pair of them showed that they were listening to you intently. “love’s hard,” mrs. miya said simply, reassuring you. you nodded in agreement before atsumu spoke up, “don’t stress about throwing yourself back into the dating field, you’ll know when your ready,” he bounced off of his wive’s words.

“hell,” mrs. miya spoke, the word sounding foreign coming from her lips, “maybe you’ll find someone when you’re not even looking for them,”

you’d had left their house that day with butterflies in your stomach, but you couldn’t figure out why. you had been over to babysit a couple times, and every time you arrived at their home, those butterflies reappeared. the butterflies magnified when atsumu caught you looking at him or his wife, or when their hands would brush against your body trying to get past you in the kitchen.

this was your fifth time babysitting, the miya’s home and the couple themselves becoming more familiar.

you rang the doorbell, playing with the rings on your fingers. hearing the doorknob turn, you looked up to be met by mrs. miya’s smiling face. “hi y/n!” she grinned, holding the door open for you to come inside. you smiled back, letting out a soft hello in response to her greeting.

you stepped inside their home, the feeling more familiar yet so strange at the same time. she led you to the kitchen as you walked behind her. they had explained that they were going to a work gala for mr. miya’s job. on your interview day, they had explained their professions, mr. miya being a professional volleyball player, and mrs. miya being a psychiatrist.

you had known they were going to a work gala, meaning you knew they would be dressed to the tee. if you knew this, then why were your eyes raking over mrs. miya’s figure in the way they were? her hair was pinned up, gold earrings being flaunted. from what you had seen at the door, she had on red lipstick, matching the insatiable red of her dress.

speaking of her dress, it hugged her figure so well. her hips were accentuated in the fabric, which fell down the entire length of her body. she had on gold heels to match her jewlery, her look being perfected.

before you could admire her any longer, you stopped suddenly, mrs. miya slowing in front of you. atsumu was leaning on the wall near the entrance of the kitchen, smirking at you. “she looks stunning, huh?” his voice having an all too-knowing tone to it.

you couldn’t help but blush, shame rushing through you. you had been caught ogling his wife, you couldn’t help but be embarrassed. “no need to get shy,” atsumu said softly, walking over to his wife who had now turned back to look at you.

you had expected her face to exemplify an expression of disgust, and yet, that sweet, saccharine smile was still on her lips. “y-you look you beautiful mrs. miya,” you said shyly, “you too, sir,”. atsumu was donned in a tux, his hair gelled slightly and brushed back to either side. “thank you, y/n,” mrs. miya offered her appreciation for your kind words.

atsumu was still staring at you, something unreadable behind his eyes. “you’re scaring the poor girl tsum’ say thank you,” mrs. miya chastised her husband. “thank you, y/n,” atsumu drawled. you couldn’t help but notice the way your name fell off his tongue, captivated by the way he could make it sound so desirable.

“money’s on the table,” mrs. miya spoke, “haru’s on the couch watching adventure time,” mrs. miya chuckled, causing you to smile. “we’ll be back around 11,” atsumu said, grabbing his wife’s hand. mrs. miya said her goodbyes, her husband doing the same.

you watched as mrs. miya placed a kiss on her child’s head, atsumu smiling down at his son. it was a heartwarming scene. “be sure to lock up,” atsumu said as he and his wife headed towards the door.

he looked over his shoulder at you, smirking, before speaking once more, “thanks again for the compliments, y/n,”.

you had sat down next to haru and watched adventure time for a good hour. eventually, you had gotten up to make him mac and cheese. he was a sweet kid, his parents raising him with wonderful manners. you ran a bath for him after dinner, the boy begging to bring his toys in with him.

you obliged, adding bubbles to the bath and one too many teenage mutant ninja turtles. once he had dried off from his bath, he got dressed for bed, brushing his teeth. he said his goodnight, and made you promise that you would tell his parents that he said goodnight to them too. you smiled down at the boy, holding out your pinky.

you switched off his lamp, “door closed or open?” you asked, “closed please,” he said softly. “alright, get some sleep,” you smiled at him, shutting his door. you had walked downstairs, sitting down on the living room couch. you mindlessly scrolled through your phone for a bit, double-tapping photos. you saw headlights flash through the window, the couple arriving home.

you figured you’d wait for the doorbell to ring before unlocking the door, in order to show atsumu that you had locked up as he had said to. you sat for a minute more, confused on why the couple wasn’t already at the door. you figured they may have been sitting in the car talking, your attention falling back down to your phone.

30 minutes, and long one’s at that, had passed. you didn’t want to invade on their privacy, but you were tired and ready to go home. you peeked out the window, and the car was in the driveway.

the windows were fogged, and the car seemed to have a slight shake to it. a hand slapped against the backseat window, and as your mind put 2 + 2 together, you quickly averted your eyes from the scene.

you couldn’t help the arousal that began to form in your lower area. you could feel your cheeks heat up as you sat back down on the couch, crossing your legs and rubbing your thighs together.

two minutes later, the doorbell rang. you rushed to the front door, taking a deep breath before unlocking the door. sex was written all over the both of them, atsumu’s gelled back hair now slightly falling over his forehead, his cheeks flushed a light pink. mrs. miya was in a similar state, her cheeks tinged a darker shade of pink then atsumu’s.

“sorry we’re so late,” atsumu smiled, his hand falling to the small of his wife’s back. he led her inside, walking to the kitchen and you followed. “how was haru?” mrs. miya asked, a slight breathlessness to her tone. “oh, um he was really great, he’s really well behaved,” you answered.

mrs. miya smiled at that, throwing her clutch down on to the table before sitting down. “water, hon?” atsumu asked from across the kitchen, mrs. miya nodding before letting her face fall into her hands.

atsumu set a glass of water down in front of his wife, the woman muttering out a soft thank you. he opened the liquor cabinet, grabbing the bottle of bourbon and a crystallized cup. “bourbon, tsum?” mrs. miya scolded slightly, atsumu just shrugging in response.

“i n-need to get this dress off,” mrs. miya said, seemingly growing slightly more unsettled. “atsumu’s drunk as a fish,” mrs. miya groaned, flailing her hands in the direction of her husband, “bet he wouldn’t even be able to find the zipper,”.

she turned towards you, her voice softening, “would you mind coming up and unzipping me? sorry to keep you longer, i just need to get this dress off,” she huffed out a sigh. “of course, i don’t mind,” you said politely, following mrs. miya out of the kitchen.

you turned back to see atsumu leaning against the counter, tipping his glass of bourbon towards you with a wolfish grin.

mrs. miya took off her other earring, setting the gold piece down in her jewelry box. their bedroom was close to how you had expected, elegant but comfortable and homey. “sorry it was such a long night,” mrs. miya said, her back still turned towards you as she fiddled with the clasp of her necklace.

“it’s alright, i really don’t mind,” you watch the clasp of the necklace open and close a few more times before you offered, “did you want help?”. “yes,” mrs. miya sighed, “that’d be great, thank you,” she turned back to smile at you.

she had unpinned her hair, most likely in the car, brown locks falling over shoulder. her hand grabbed her hair, brushing it over her left shoulder. your finger pulled down on the little gold clasp, separating the link of the necklace.

you lifted it over mrs. miya’s head before setting it down beside the jewelry box. “thank you,” she smiled, “o-of course,” you replied meekly. “would you mind getting my dress now,” mrs. miya asked. “oh um, yes,” you cringed at your awkwardness, your hands falling to the neckline of her dress.

you grasped the zipper between your pointer finger and thumb, pulling down. you had to tug a little harder as you got further down the dress, but eventually the item of clothing pooled at mrs. miya’s feet. you forced yourself to look somewhere else, eyeing the photo of mrs. miya and her husband at the beach.

“can i ask you something?” she paused for a moment, “just between us girls,”. you hummed out an ‘mhm’, looking down at the ground now. “do you think atsumu will like this lingerie? i was on the fence about it when i bought it,”. at her words, you couldn’t help but let your eyes rake up her figure.

the lingerie was blush pink, and lace, acting as a subtle parallel to mrs. miya’s skin. you became more and more aware of how hot the room was becoming, had it always been this hot? you looked up, mrs. miya facing you now, her eyebrows raised in question. “so?” she asked plainly, that sweet smile still on her lips.

“i-it’s lovely, mr. miya will love it,” you stuttered, forcing your eyes away from her body. mrs. miya walked over to the full length mirror on the other side of the room, her hands brushing over her body. “i don’t know, i think i feel weird cause i’ve only seen it on me,” she hesitated before her smile grew and she clapped her hands together.

“you have to try it on, i think i need to see it from another perspective,” her eyes were glinting in delight. “oh n-no, i couldn’t,” “please, i’d really appreciate it,”. you bit on your bottom lip before simply nodding. mrs. miya’s hands raised to the bra clasp but you stopped her before she could remove the bralette from her body, “i-i’ll! i’ll try it on the bathroom,” you quieted down towards the end of your sentence, your cheeks flushed with heat.

“oh okay,” she said, “walk right through the door, i’ll pass it through in just a second,”. you opened the barn door that led to the master bathroom, closing it behind you. you took a deep breath, rationalizing what was going on at the moment. a knock broke you from your rushing thoughts, “here you go,” mrs. miya’s soft voice sounded through the wood of the door.

you opened it, a green robe covering her body now, “i-i’ll put it on, and be-” your voice cracked slightly, “be out in just a second,”. mrs. miya nodded in understanding, smiling before you shut the barn door.

you unbuckled your jeans, folding them neatly before setting them on the countertop of the sink. you pulled your shirt over your head, folding it and placing it on top of your pants. you were embarrassed with the panties you had chosen to wear today, zebra stripes and hot pink hearts covering the fabric. you pulled your panties off, putting them under your jeans and out of sight.

your bra came off next, and you flung it atop your clothes. you huffed out a deep breath, pulling the white lace panties onto your body. you couldn’t help but think that mrs. miya had just worn these, the thought sending shivers down your spine. you put the bralette on next, slipping it over your arms before clasping it in the middle.

you looked over your appearance in the mirror, shaking away any insecurities. you walked over to the barn door, pulling it open little by little. you could see mrs. miya’s head turn expectantly and once the door no longer covered your body, her eyes lit up. “wow,” she sighed, and you couldn’t help but want to curl in on yourself.

your embarrassment must of been visible, mrs. miya quickly reassuring you, “you look fucking amazing,”. the curse word sounded so foreign falling from her lips, yet you reveled in the harshness of the word coming from her lips. “t-thank you,” you said quietly.

mrs. miya’s voice was cut off by the sound of the bedroom door opening. you quickly realized what that meant, but before you could even react atsumu’s eyes were locked on your face and falling down your figure. “got started without me, huh?”.

you felt like crying, embarrassed that mr. miya was seeing you like this. “atsumu!” his wife chastised. a single tear fell down your cheek, your throat burning and yet there was that hint of something you felt deep inside of you.

“i-i’m sorry y/n, we should’ve been more upfront with you,” mrs. miya said walking over to you, her hand brushing away the tear that had fallen down your cheek. more...upfront? what did she mean?

atsumu could sense your confusion, that slight smirk still lingering in his expression, “what my wife is trying to say is that,” atsumu started, walking closer to you, “we think you deserve a reward, been so good tonight, waited here for so long too,”. mrs. miya’s hand that was on your cheek was now rubbing your shoulder.

your hair had been tied up since earlier, and atsumu’s mouth latched onto the exposed skin of your neck, sucking on the skin. he pulled back slightly, admiring the reddish-purple mark blossoming on your body. he plunged in once more, leaving lingering kisses along your neck, your cheek, your jawline. mrs. miya was kissing your shoulder, her hands gripping your hips.

“atsumu stop for a moment,” atsumu grumbled, but pulled away nonetheless. mrs. miya grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at her, “is this alright? if you want to stop we can, we’ll forget it ever happened,”. your bottom lip was pulled between your teeth, your entire body feeling as though it was on fire.

“but if you want this, we need to hear it,” mrs. miya finished, her eyes glazing over your expression intently, searching for any hesitation. “w-want this,” you said quietly “want you both, please,” you whimpered. you heard atsumu chuckle lowly from behind you before your line of vision was shifting from mrs. miya to her husband.

“so fuckin’ pretty,” he said, his voice gravely. “we’ve been wantin’ to do this since the first fuckin’ day,”. next thing you knew atsumu’s lips were on yours, the distinct taste of bourbon flooding your senses. atsumu pulled away, a line of spit connecting your lips, before he moved back to your neck, sucking another hickey into your skin.

“so greedy tsumu’,” mrs. miya said, turning you to her once more before her lips locked with yours. her lips tasted sweet, her tongue slotting over yours and easily winning dominance. she pulled away flashing that sweet smile at you once more. they were going to be the death of you. mrs miya walked you back towards the bed, pushing you down onto the soft mattress.

“gonna be good for us, right?” she mumbled into the skin of your stomach, kissing down the length of your body. “look at her babe, she’s already fucking drooling,” you heard atsumu speak from above you, his body towering over yours.

mrs. miya pulled away from your skin for a moment, looking up at your desperate expression. “look so pretty,” she sighed, her hands playing with the waistband of the white lace panties. “gonna look so pretty when your full of tsumu’s cock too, huh?”. you whined at the thought, your hips thrusting up into nothing

“told ya we wouldn’t be strangers, tsumu,”

OKAY I KNOW KINDA A CLIFFHANGER ON THE SMUT I DONT MEAN TO EDGE YALL LIKE THAT :{ but i really wanted to get this out. maybe i’ll do a part 2 depending on how this part of the fic does??? thank you for reading love you<3

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fromthedeskofelizabeththird · 3 years

Text

Habanero

You're a good girl, well behaved.

Absolutely not the type to rail random guys in nightclubs.

Until you are.

Fandom: BNHA

Pairing: Aizawa x Reader, eventual polyamorous Erasermic x Reader

Rating: Explicit. Minors BE GONE

Trigger Warnings: None in this chapter.

AO3: Here | Want to support me? I have a Kofi

Chapter: 1/16 (all chapters)

“Oh my g-“ You whined, tightening your grip on the sink. “Harder, I’m gonna…”

You caught your reflection in the bathroom mirror as you came undone; took in your smudged makeup and disheveled hair.

Pleasure rippled through you and you moaned into it, pushing yourself back onto the stranger’s dick and taking as much of him in as humanly possible. You could feel every inch of him and he groaned at the feel of you tightening around him.

“Oh f-“ You murmured, holding onto the sink and grinding yourself against your lover in time to the spasms of your body.

You were so overwhelmed by the sensation that you lost all coherency, body acting of its own accord. Your lover sucked in a single breath as he continued to fuck you and you could do little else but stare at your shoes.

You were doing this.

You were doing him . In a bathroom, no less.

How on earth had you gotten yourself into this situation?

━

Whenever you looked back over the course of your life, one detail stood out far more prominently than the others.

You were a good girl.

You had never broken the law, had always adhered to the proper dress code, had never had a filling or broken a bone. You could, and very often did, define yourself by the roads you had never dreamed of taking and the decisions you had never made.

Never was it more obvious than the day you suffered your first real heartbreak.

You had followed the rules carefully; had dressed respectably for every date; had taken care to listen to your boyfriend’s every problem. You’d learned to cook his favorite meal; had faked more orgasms than you could count to feed his ego.

You were sure you would marry that man and had mentally mapped out your next five years. You would have a simple ceremony and a child one year later, then another two years after the first. You’d named them in your imagination and frequently lapsed into daydreams about your future perfect life.

On your fifth anniversary he took you to dinner and you could barely hide your excitement. You knew he had been keeping something from you and you were so sure he was going to propose. You put on your best dress and favourite heels and spent an hour on your makeup and hair. This night was going to be perfect and your stomach fluttered as he reached for your hands across the table.

“(Name),” he said, squeezing your hands in his, “I’ve been thinking about our future.”

“Me too,” you said, squeezing back, willing yourself to hold it together. You wanted this moment to be so perfect and romantic that you would repeat it over and over to your future children and grandchildren. “I’m so happy we’re on the same page.”

“It’s been on my mind for a long time,” he said, smiling softly. “I’ve enjoyed all of our time together, but I think we need to move forwards.”

All you could think about was your future children; the length of their eyelashes and warmth of their hugs. You could almost smell the flowers in your wedding bouquet.

“I just...I think we’ve had a lot of fun together,” he said, “but I’m scared that if we stay like this we’ll fall into a rut. I don’t want to be married with a bunch of kids before I’m forty.”

And just like that, your stomach fell through the floor.

“Wait, w-what are you talking about?”

You snatched your hands from his, heart racing. Was this some sort of joke? You had shopped together for a new mattress only two days before. You glanced around the restaurant, looking for cameras or any sign that this was staged. If it was a prank, it was cruel.

“(Name), it’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just that, well… you’re like...how do I put this…”

He scratched his chin, searching for the right thing to say, even as your eyes filled with tears.

“You’re vanilla,” he said, “you’re safe, and sweet… but we’re still young and I keep thinking that I might want to try habanero or cayenne.”

“You think I’m...boring?” the words left your lips as a whisper and, while his reaction was to instantly reach out to you and apologise, the damage was already done.

“I can be habanero,” you said before you realised it. “I can be whatever you want me to be.”

“I know,” he said, “and that’s the problem.”

━

That night you stood in your shower for almost three quarters of an hour, staring into space as the water soaked you through.

His words circled your brain like vultures.

Vanilla.

He thought you were vanilla. Perhaps the worst part was that you could not disagree.

It haunted your every action for the following week. All you saw when you got ready for work was your simple wardrobe and comfortable shoes.

You were a good girl, mild mannered and meek, and everyone seemed to have noticed before you.

Shock made way for despair. Despair turned to denial and denial quickly turned to anger. You hated your ex boyfriend almost as much as you hated yourself, scouring your apartment for everything he had ever touched.

It didn’t take long for your friends to get worried about you. Normally you were all too busy to constantly check in on the group chat you shared, but since the breakup everyone had something to say.

However kind they might have been to spare your feelings, they genuinely did seem surprised that you had broken up. You had been a couple since your college graduation and one of the only constants in the past few years as everyone’s lives took different directions.

As was to be expected, your friends had multiple different opinions on suitable coping mechanisms. Yuiko came over with food; Hana brought wine. Sayaka called you every evening to trash talk your ex.

Then there was Rei.

Rei was the most boisterous member of your friend group, full to the brim with the kind of self confidence that was obnoxious on other people, yet suited her perfectly. Her reaction to the breakup was not to hand you tissues. She posted exactly one message to the group chat and it had haunted you ever since.

To get over one dude… you gotta get under another ;)

You had known Rei for years and never once taken her advice, but something about that statement stuck with you. You would never have come up with such an idea on your own and it left you blushing a bright scarlet. Rebound sex was not something girls like you did, which was exactly why you had to do it.

“I’ll show you vanilla,” you muttered as you put on another layer of red lipstick and pulled your dress just a little lower to tease the lace of your bra.

━

You met up with your friends at Ego , a nightclub you had heard a great deal about, though never actually gone to. You had never had any reason to; you already had a long term partner and didn’t enjoy the idea of dancing in full view of strange men.

You wondered if you’d made a mistake even as you took a seat at one of the tables.

“Any lookers?”

You glanced around the room, trying to make out faces in the darkness.

“I…” you said. “I…”

You swallowed hard, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.

“I’ll get the next round!”

You thought that by going to fetch another round of drinks, you would be able to catch your breath and avoid drawing copious amounts of attention to yourself. You’d never spent much time at nightclubs, though, and realised your mistake once you got within twenty feet of the bar.

Dozens of people in various states of intoxication crowded it, packed like sardines and all trying to get the attention of the bartender. You took a deep breath and took a step into the crowd, only for someone closer to the front to move and send a wave of movement through everyone else. Someone’s shoulder caught you in the chest, leaving you even further back than you had been before.

Normally you were too polite to even contemplate shoving your way through a crowd, but tonight you weren’t yourself. You took a deep breath and put your weight into your shoulders, pushing against the others as forcefully as you could without actually hurting anyone.

At first you seemed to be making progress, though you soon regretted your decisions. As you got within a few paces of the bar, a guy in front of you slipped, the numerous drinks in his hands heading for your face.

Before they could make contact, however, someone reached for your wrist and yanked you towards the bar, out of the line of fire. The drinks hit other partygoers and they cried out in shock; the glasses shattered as they hit the floor. You, however, remained untouched.

“Th-thank you,” you stammered, turning to your saviour.

He was tall and lanky, with black hair tied back from his face in a ponytail. He wore a black shirt, black pants, black shoes- a complete contrast to the Blue Hawaiian in his hand.

“Don’t mention it,” he said, looking away from you and taking an indifferent sip of his drink.

The bartender was in the middle of clearing the shattered glass from the floor and so you waited in an awkward sort of silence, finally turning back to the man who had saved you.

“You look as happy to be here as I am,” you said. He looked the type to sit in shady bars with three fingers of whisky, not dance with inebriated strangers, which Ego was better known for.

“Wasn’t my decision,” he said. “Someone’s gotta babysit.”

He pointed towards the dancefloor, where a small group of people danced along to the beat. You couldn’t make out most of their faces, except for one, and you were sure your eyes were deceiving you.

“Is that...Present Mic?”

The stranger followed your gaze, to the man with more than a passing resemblance, who was currently wiggling his hips in time to the beat.

“Him? Nah. I don’t know him.”

“But he’s waving to you,” you said, as the man who looked like Present Mic waved his arms over his head and shouted something in your general direction. You couldn’t hear him over the music and the stranger next to you pointedly turned in the opposite direction, taking a long sip of his drink.

You had been so nervous about approaching strangers. Rei had made it seem so easy- merging into a group and catching someone’s eye. You had always had a boyfriend and never possessed the easy confidence of your friends. It was strangely reassuring that speaking to this man came almost naturally.

“My name’s (Name),” you said. “Listen, you really saved me there...this dress is hand wash only.”

“Shouta,” said the stranger. “My name is Shouta.”

“C-can I get you a drink or something? I really owe you one.”

You realised after saying it that he wasn’t even halfway through the drink in his hand.

“You don’t owe me anything,” he said. “It wasn’t anything special.”

He picked the pineapple from his drink and chewed at it thoughtfully.

“Listen,” he said, “I don’t like playing games. What is it you want?”

You were tongue tied, mortified at being caught out so quickly. You fought to keep your composure.

Under ordinary circumstances, you would have stammered some sort of apology or explanation, but tonight you weren’t you and there was no point in denying that you had an ulterior motive.

“Fine,” you said, gathering your nerves. “Do you want to go somewhere more...private?”

You cringed the moment it left your lips, suddenly all too aware of how forward you were being. You couldn’t believe you’d all but thrown yourself at the first guy you saw. What was wrong with you?

He climbed down off the stool he had been sitting on, taking one final sip of his drink.

“Let’s go.”

━

And so it was that you wound up in the nightclub washroom, back against the door and Shouta’s lips on yours.

You had half-heartedly discussed with your friends what to do on the off chance you found someone. You were to post to the group chat with a photograph of you and whoever you left with. You hadn’t expected to leave with anyone, much less decided on where you would go if you did.

You would never have guessed that you would wind up in a washroom, with the door sealed shut behind you. Shouta crushed his lips against yours, one hand pressed against the door, the other on your waist.

Your heart raced, heat rushing through you and pooling in your core.

“Say,” said Shouta, lowering his hand and running a thumb over your lips, “you sure you want this? Right here, right now?”

You moved before you realised what you were doing, opening your mouth and running your tongue over his thumb, looking him dead in the eyes as you wrapped your lips around it.

He hadn’t expected it, but seemed to approve, for he smiled, pulling away and dragging you into another crushing kiss. One hand he positioned above your head; the other grabbed at your clothes, pulling down your dress to expose your bra before heading south.

He lifted your skirt, slipping his fingers into your underwear. You gasped as you felt his hand against your folds, planting your own hand against the door to brace yourself. He caught your eye, tracing a finger around your clit before slowly sinking it deep into you. You reached for his shoulders, hooking one leg around his waist and pushing your lips against his. You pulled him tighter and tighter as he pushed his finger in and out of you, dragging at his shirt and belt.

He squeezed in a second finger and you bucked your hips into his touches.

As if in response, he pulled his fingers out of you and ran them over your clit- the warmth and wetness sending pleasurable shivers down your spine. You had never felt this way before; this man was as good as a stranger, yet you wanted him so very badly. You had never felt this kind of desire before, never known how it felt to have such a growing pressure inside of you.

“Please,” you moaned into his mouth, not knowing exactly what you were begging him for. “Please—-"

“Come here,” Shouta growled, pulling you towards him and then across to the sink. You caught a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror, unkempt and wide eyed- a complete transformation from when you stepped out of the house.

You watched through the mirror as Shouta unfastened his belt and fly, lowering his pants low enough to give you a clear view of his hardened dick. He was far more muscular than his skinny physique let on, with a deep scar beneath his belly button.

You were trembling from need, squeezing your legs together to try and fill the void his fingers had left. He smirked and walked towards you, taking hold of your hips and slowly, almost torturously slowly, pushing himself into you.

He was bigger than you expected and you gasped at the feel of yourself stretching to accommodate him. He stopped in place, waiting for you to push back against him before pushing in further. At first his pace was slow, inching in only a little at a time, teasing an increasingly sensitive spot deep inside of you.

“Faster,” you whined, digging your nails into your palms at the pressure inside of you. It was overwhelming your every sense, a coil winding tighter and tighter with every touch. “Please...please…”

He slapped your ass and drove in deeper.

This new pace was faster, his hips slamming into yours with such force that it sent you barreling forwards across the sink. You clung on for dear life, taking in the wet sounds as your bodies clashed; Shouta’s groans of pleasure and exertion.

“Oh my g-“ You whined, tightening your grip on the sink. “Harder, I’m gonna…”

You caught your reflection in the bathroom mirror as you came undone; took in your smudged makeup and disheveled hair.

Pleasure rippled through you and you moaned into it, pushing yourself back onto Shouta’s dick and taking as much of him in as humanly possible. You could feel every inch of him and he groaned at the feel of you tightening around him.

“Oh f-“ You murmured, holding onto the sink and grinding yourself against him in time to the spasms of your body.

You were so overwhelmed by the sensation that you lost all coherency, body acting of its own accord. He sucked in a single breath as he continued to fuck you and you could do little else but stare at your shoes.

You were doing this.

You were doing him . In a bathroom, no less.

He gathered your hair with one hand and pulled backwards, arching your back as he fucked you even harder. He was getting close and you could tell; his thrusts were getting erratic and the hand that squeezed your hip was so tight that it left bruises later.

“(Name),” he said, raspiness of his voice betraying his desperation, “where would you like me to...cum”

He groaned and you blushed a bright red.

“In...inside me,” you murmured, the depravity of it all too clear. This was a man you didn’t know; you were risking pregnancy and worse.

In that moment, though, it only added to the appeal.

Shouta pulled you even closer, slowing right down to an almost painfully slow rhythm. He held you in place as he came and gasped for air; the heat of his breath leaving goosebumps against your skin.

You could feel him twitching inside of you, his warmth dripping from you as he pulled out.

You took a deep breath and stood up straight, Shouta letting go of you to pull up his pants. He rinsed his hands under the tap and splashed cold water on his face before grabbing a pile of paper towels.

“I’ll guard the door,” he said, motioning towards the same door he had pinned you against only a short time ago. “Knock when you’re ready.”

“Oh,” you said, watching him leave, “okay.”

For the first time all night, you were alone, the nightclub music in the background your only clue to your surroundings.

You walked towards the sink and took in your bedraggled appearance-bra on full display and cum on your thighs.

You couldn’t believe you were thinking it, but Rei was right. For the first time in weeks you weren’t thinking about the ex. For the first time in years you weren’t thinking about anything.

Habanero, you thought as you switched on the tap.

This was how it felt to be habanero.

━

6 Months Later

You were still a good girl.

That said, you no longer followed the safe roads. Not so long ago, you believed that your breakup was the end of everything, but it had actually been a new beginning.

Two months after the night at Ego , you cut your hair and quit your job. You had been there since graduation and your colleagues were more than a little desperate for you to stay. You had taken on the workload of about seven of eight people while earning only a pittance for a salary.

You had a new job now; something fresh and exciting and challenging to boot. It made you nervous, but that feeling only spurred you on.

You’d never been to UA before and it was much bigger in person. You could already tell you were going to get lost and found yourself grateful that the Principal had taken it upon himself to show you around.

“These are the first year homerooms,” he said, pointing out the doors on your left and right. “1-A and 1-B. I hope you pardon my presumptuousness, but I thought it might be useful to have you shadow one of our homeroom teachers for a couple of hours...get a feel for our curriculum and the kinds of students you’ll be working with.”

“That would be wonderful,” you said, eager to take notes.

“Wait here,” said Principal Nezu, “I’ll be right back.”

He knocked on one of the doors and stepped inside, presumably to fetch the teacher.

When he returned, it took everything in your power to stop your jaw from hitting the floor.

It was him, and he was just as shocked to see you.

“Professor Aizawa,” said Principal Nezu, “this is (Name), our new guidance counsellor.”

He glanced from you to Shouta, taking in your identical expressions.

“Oh… do you know one another?”

#aizawa x reader #eraserhead x reader #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #boku no hero academia #habanero

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Teenage Years)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: this is LONG so please dont let this flop

prompt: y/n is 12-16, takes place from Avengers 1 to Avengers 2

The Early Years (1) The Intense Years (3) The Aftermath (4) Continued (5)

starting out with tony powering stark tower with clean energy:

it was very late, you were supposed to be asleep

“what are you doing up, missy? it’s way past your bedtime”

“it’s my fault, i let her stay up to see her dad’s big achievement” -pepper

just vibing on the couch with absolutely no intention of sleeping anytime soon

you really did take after your dad

“how was the show, sweetheart?”

“uh, cool?”

coulson showing up when he did

you were excited bc you knew he had to be there for superhero stuff

“hi, agent coulson!!”

“hey there, kiddo!

BEGGING to come with your dad

“no. absolutely not. there is absolutely no way im letting you get involved in any of this”

you got involved

but like, not the whole “im a 12 year old superhero” involved

“y/n, sweetie, this is dr. banner, you’re gonna be his assistant in the lab!”

“—what?” *bruce utterly shocked*

talking that man’s ear off oh my GOD

he taught you a few things along the way, though

it ended up being very educational

“yeah i built my own suit! it’s definitely not as cool as my dad’s...and he put a bunch of safety controls on it. obviously, i could bypass them and do whatever i wanted, but it’s best not to break his trust, you know?”

“you are astonishingly wise for a 12 year old”

bruce being kind of scared around you because he thinks he could hurt you

also scared you might hurt yourself on the scepter

CASUALLY talking to the rest of the avengers

“so, you’re stark’s daughter? now i’ve met three generations of starks.” -steve

“oh, wonderful, there’s a smaller one!” -thor

“hey, y/n, it’s good to see you again. still practicing those moves i showed you?” -natasha

listennnn as you got older you started to exert more of your father’s personality traits

you developed his sarcastic and occasionally ill-timed humor...and

YOU WERE COCKY AS FUCK

“i mean, i’m not saying that i’m better than you but i know you’re thinking it”

when the helicarrier was attacked nobody really knew the correct way to protect you

“dad? dad??”

“right here, y/n, come with me”

tony brought your suit for emergency purposes

“you put this on and you stay here, understand?”

oh, another thing you got from him? NOT LISTENING

helping where you could, the first step to becoming a superhero, right?

being really upset when coulson died

but understanding that it was apart of the job

going back to new york for some alien ass kicking and having the whole team check on you every thirty seconds

“y/n, how’s it going?” “stark junior, are you doing okay?” “need any help out there, kid?”

“you guys don’t have to babysit me” “i’m still kickin’ it, thanks”

tony calling right before he went through the wormhole

“hey sweetheart, just gotta let you know that i love you and i am so proud of everything you’ve done”

the avengers holding you back from him when he fell back to the ground because you were unreasonably worried for obvious reasons

“is he breathing? steve? steve, let me see him! JARVIS, are you there?”

falling on the ground and hugging him (with your clunky-ass armor still on)

“hey! yeah, i missed you too”

*clink clink* pat on the back

schwarma stop

“you’re gonna eat it and you’re gonna like it”

having your own input on the stark tower remodel

taking a slight pause for random stuff

you’ve definitely drawn his mustache/goatee on your face before

“please tell me that’s not permanent marker”

“it’s permanent marker”

you and pepper doing mother/daughter things for bonding (but you and her already had a great relationship)

unreasonable amount of cussing from your father has rubbed off onto you and now he doesn’t notice when you say bad words

natasha taught you how to shoot so that was cool

“if i can shoot a repulsor, i think i can shoot a gun”

“whatever you say, baby stark”

obviously the team is just a bunch of protective uncles and an aunt

“i miss [insert avenger here]”

resume to iron man 3

just tinkering in the shop with pops

“are you sure that’s safe, dad?”

“duh, why wouldn’t it be safe?”

you were right and it was not safe

sometimes you proved your dad wrong and it made him happy?

“well would you look at that, you’re right”

learning how to help your dad with his anxiety and panic attacks

the house in malibu got blown up and your dad disappeared

you were benched by pepper effective immediately

“don’t you think it would be better if i were still out there? someone has to be out there and...i don’t know, protect the people?”

“y/n, please, you’re still a kid. i can excuse fighting aliens but i draw the line at terrorism”

“you can excuse fighting aliens??”

pepper sent you to a different house and hired a...babysitter

zip zip zip its AOU time yall remember the beginning of that at the hydra base

*explosion* “oh, shit! didn’t mean to do that...”

“watch your language, y/n!” -cap

“don’t tell my daughter what to do!”

having an external monologue that everyone just kind of rolls with

“glad i put a heater in this suit” “anyone up for burgers?” *humming Eye of the Tiger*

going back to the lab with tony and bruce and being very uncomfortable with the idea of ultron

“okay dad, you know how im usually right?”

“lighten up, kiddo. remember what i taught you about trial and error? this is a learning experience”

*bruce and you side eying*

“i’ll ground you”

“what?!”

“kidding, im kidding”

a lot of kid jokes from other partygoers

“isnt it past your bedtime”

“very funny”

actually dressing up nice for a change, as opposed to an oil-stained band tee

but then ur outfit was ruined because you had to shoot murder bots :(

“not cool! i designed this room!”

tony still got all the blame for ultron while you and bruce went 😬

tony made a joke about ultron being your brother and you didn’t talk to him for hours

“oh, come on! you have to learn to laugh at your mistakes!”

“poor choice of words, stark” -literally everyone

🎶getting to see your worst feaaar🎶

which was a mixture between tony not surviving the wormhole and being abandoned and vulnerable again

your phone got confiscated “because of ultron”

meeting wanda and pietro on better terms

“you are stark’s daughter?”

“um, yeah, that’s me. i sincerely apologize for anything he’s ever done wrong while i’ve been alive”

actually getting along with them (plus you were in a similar age range)

“uncle rhodey!!!”

“staying out of trouble, i hope?”

“define ‘trouble’”

okay okay, enough of that. besides a few robots hitting you and you hitting harder...and ultron taking a couple personal jabs at you after accessing some of your social media accounts...it went back to normal(ish)

you made a friend of wanda and visited the avengers compound weekly and helped with training

and nat gave you some spy pointers to help you if you ever found yourself without the suit

when you left the compound after thor that day, you had some nice father/daughter time

“why don’t i give you a driving lesson, yeah?”

“you’re gonna trust me to drive this thing?”

“sure, why not?”

you drove very fast, wonder where you learned that from

he was clasping onto the seats and whispering curse words

“next time, you can drive with happy”

#tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark #iron man #iron man x daughter!reader #iron man imagine #iron man x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers

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dastardlydandelion · 3 years

Note

Max Mayfield and Tory Nichols in a horror film, what would be the plot/monster and would they survive?

this is it. this is the tumblr ask. the ask i've been waiting for my whole life. my time to shine, here we go!

filming begins under the cut:

tried and true creature feature, this is a werewolf movie. let's go with a werewolf between the van helsing (2004) and trick r treat (2007) variety. the beast once transformed is fucking huge, clearly both lupine and human, head almost entirely wolf, body primarily bipedal in shape, but robust, sinew shredding claws and big ass bone tearing teeth. also tails!! bc tails are cute!!! powers include monstrous strength, accelerated speed, healing factor. weaknesses silver and decapitation.

okay, so van helsing (2004) werewolves are mindless rage monsters and trick r treat (2007) werewolves are cognizant. for our max & tory creature feature, they're gonna of the in between variety. i chose a werewolf movie for these two specifically bc they both have their anger problems and the werewolf has long been a symbol of anger unleashed in the horror genre, even tho common gray wolves are just like. i mean, yk, animals, they hunt and howl and pee on trees and most of the time would rather avoid humans. but obvi horror genre werewolves are not common gray wolves, they need to be scary, and like, the remnants of traditional folklore influenced by rabies and discourse in the middle ages...wait, where was i going with this? anger, yes, max and tory both have anger problems and i think this works for what i'm gonna do with this theoretical movie.

who's the werewolf in town? terry fucking silver. bc terry is evil and dramatic and also, i think it's rly funny for a werewolf to have silver as a surname. he's fully cognizant in his transformation and he's purposefully biting kids and teenagers bc he wants more talented karate students. and like. yk, with the enhanced strength, speed, and regenerative recovery of lycanthropy, well. there u have it, more talented karate students.

do max and tory know each other, if so, how? okay, so in this 'verse tory is a lil older than max. that reflects their canon ages, i think. let's say max is 13 and tory is 16. billy has tory in some of his classes and he more or less makes a deal to spilt his allowance with her if she'll babysit max bc he's tired of neil riding his ass to babysit max. tory needs money so she's like, 'sure, why not.' max finds it rly stupid that she's 13 and neil thinks she needs a fucking babysitter but as far as babysitters go, tory is fun. she likes to show max what she's learning in cobra kai and they spar together a lot. max would actually like to join cobra kai but 1) neil would throw a fit on various fronts and 2) lucas is in miyagi-do. max knows there's some rly intense beef between cobra kai and miyagi-do. ofc tory's filled her in on the karate war, how could she not?

well one day tory takes max to the playground to watch a plane fly like she does with miggy in ck, and it's nighttime, ofc, and lo, the full moon is out. shining up in the sky. they hear a howl. they both look at each other. max is kinda curious but tory's like nah, nah, we gotta go. she grabs her, starts pulling her along. but the next howl is a lot closer and they can hear smth running and it just sounds fuckin big. they're running too now, legs pumping hard, but there's no escape once the beast is right behind them, hot, rancid breath blasting the backs of their necks and harvest gold eyes glowing in the dark.

max gets bitten first. tory tries to kick the big ass beast off of her and then it rounds and bites her too. the terror is real now. and then shockingly, as fast as it'd come, it leaves. neither girl has an explanation for wtaf just happened but tory takes max home. billy gripes at her for being out late but helps her patch up. when susan learns what happens she decides to take max to get rabies shots right away. loads her up in the car, runs her off to the emergency room-- but when the bandages come off, they are no wounds.

tory's bby bro tries to help patch her up too. but he's like 4 yrs old and his idea of "help" is sticking bandaids with cartoon characters up and down the wounds in haphazard fashion. tory plans to redo it all properly once she's put him to bed. sure enough after he's asleep, and she peels the bandaids off from every open mouthed pac-man to every green teenage mutant ninja turtle, the wounds are gone.

meanwhile there's missing ppl err day on the news. terry turns kids and teens but kills adults for the lulz.

tory and max know what happened to them was an event that tangibly, definitely happened but neither have any explanation for their wounds just disappearing. max, our resident horror fan, is the first to propose a real life werewolf as an explanation. she cites the missing ppl on the news. tory thinks she's tripping balls but reluctantly gives an inch when she acknowledges no, she can't think of any other explanation.

life goes on. max tells lucas what happened only she leaves out the part abt tory bc she's not gonna tell a miyagi-do student she's kickin it w the enemy. he doesn't rly believe her, like how she didn't rly believe him about the upside-down in their canon. he thinks the horror movies are rotting her brain.

tory almost tells her dojo but she gets distracted being pissed off by sam and that should be her priority, right? sensei kreese is always going on abt getting back at the enemy. she spends her shifts daydreaming abt revenge bc it's more comforting than worrying abt past due bills and her mother looking paler by the day.

full moon next month comes around. neither tory nor max are cognizant of or during their first respective transformations. max's first kill is neil. she's seven feet of fur and fury, tears his ribcage open with claws like daggers and sinks her teeth into his putrid, maggoty heart. susan isn't home. billy is, but he doesn't hear any of the fracas. he's unconscious on the living room floor, crisscrossing impressions of neil's belt buckle blaring red on his back.

tory's first kill is sam. sam larusso wants to think she's a bully?? fine, tory will show her a bully. she hops the miyagi-do fence after hours. she just wants a fight. just a fight, they always fight. but then she's sprouting fur and tory as tory gives way to smth else. she'd not aware of being a person when she doesn't have fur. not really, all she knows is rage and ravenousness and the morsel below her has bunny rabbit wide eyes.

neither of them remember what they did the next day. not vividly, anyway. it's there but it's cloudy and hard to discern, like a groggy fever dream more than a memory. but max burps up neil's wedding band and tory finds señor octopus (sam's stuffed animal) bloodied in her bed. it's apparent what happened. max accepts this more easily than tory bc 1) she always kind of suspected she'd turn, since she sincerely considered what attacked them was a werewolf and 2) max isn't terribly upset abt killing neil while tory is acutely horrified she killed sam.

max kinda had some smidgen of attachment to neil bc like, he's the only father figure in her life and here and there they've had their moments. but his abuse (psychological/physical toward billy, sexual/financial/psychological/emotional toward susan, psychological/emotional toward herself) outweighed any and all of those moments. she is genuinely concerned that she tore a human being to pieces and only vaguely remembers it but like, if she had to kill anyone, she figures neil was the best to kill. max is mostly concerned bc she can't kill neil a second time. she's worried the next time she turns it could be an innocent person, or one of her friends, or her mom, or billy.

tory is blindsided and scarcely able to comprehend the reality, holy shit, max was right, she's a fuckin werewolf. and she's sick to her stomach bc she hated sam but she never wanted to do anything like that. she didn't want to kill, she just wanted to break her face. scare her. rough her up. she didn't want to eat her. she just killed someone. she's a literal horror movie monster and she just killed sam. what's miguel going to think?

tory and max talk. they decide they need to find the werewolf who turned them. we get montages of them going over the news articles with a fine-toothed *ba dum tss* comb and searching areas where it seems like a werewolf would be. the woods. some caves. max all of a sudden has a freakishly tall man constantly hounding her to join cobra kai. neil's gone but she still hesitates bc of lucas being in miyagi-do. also he believes max now and with the proff, she's decided to let the rest of the party in as well. they also exist in this 'verse. she showed them the crime scene and the wedding band she burped up. billy isn't a roid rage racist in this 'verse bc that would be a giant buzzkill. he doesn't believe the werewolf shit either. he thinks max saw neil get attacked by some animal and that the carnage was so traumatizing for her, she subconsciously created a werewolf fantasy to cope.

tory meanwhile spirals downward. bc she passes sam's memorialized locker in the hall everyday. her memorial table in the other hall, full of sticky note condolences and mournful teddy bears, and a picture of sam right in the center always, always accusing her. miggy is heartbroken and distraught. hawk didn't care for sam but even he's freaked out by what happened, how the news said there were only torn up chunks and bones picked clean found in her bedroom. tory is terrified of herself. she's desperate to find whoever did this bc she wants to make them pay. if sensei silver has been asking her extra questions lately and presenting her performance to the class more than normal, she doesn't notice at all. aisha notices tory's fucked up but tory can't exactly tell aisha that she *ate* sam. aisha is also mourning, she and sam used to be bffs. so she doesn't say a word.

max has a theory that if u can learn to control ur anger, u can learn to control urself when u shift. she is, after all, v familiar with angry horror movie werewolves. and she's savvy enough to know it's smth she and tory have in common. neil is dead but that doesn't mean max isn't angry anymore. she's still angry at the damage already done and tbh also angry that there's some werewolf around turning ppl willy nilly bc she recognizes the danger in that and it wasn't smth she consented to. but controlling ur anger is an easier feat for max than tory insofar that max has a support system w her friends, and better relationships with the remainder of her fam. tory has two mentors actively, adamantly teaching her and her friends to be ruthless, view the world as ur enemy, use violence as ur go-to solution, and that mercy is weakness not to be tolerated.

when the next full moon rolls around, they decide to spend it together under the correct inference that they will transform. they think it's better to be together. they're hoping they'll be able to control each other, if not themselves. or that if they are both mindless rage monsters again, that rage will be turned on each other. this would be a better outcome operating on the presumption that one werewolf will be able to take what another can dish out, at the v least more so than a regular human being.

max is successfully able to maintain enough of her consciousness to control her actions once transformed. she feels aggressive and hungry, but not enraged and ravenous. she can keep it in check. tory, on the other hand, uh...tory can't do it. she throws her wolf head back in the most bloodcurdling howl ever and takes off like a bat outta hell. max goes loping after her. they can't speak like human speak in this form, but max tries to communicate with her. whimpers plaintively. tackles tory at one point, not out of anger but just tryna subdue her, licks at her ears and tries to get her to settle. tory bucks her off.

tory runs off again, max in pursuit. they wind up at the skate park where billy n robby are prolly up to some fuckery or another. i could easily see pre miyagi-do robby n billy getting up to all kinds of mischief. ooh, actually, they're prolly arguing abt that. now that robby's in miyagi-do he has another outlet for all his energy and he's getting the positive attention he craves so he's not participating in hooligan activity or shenanigans w billy anymore and billy is like. offended. except suddenly there's werewolves. fucking. snarling, gigantic, toothy, hairy ass werewolves.

let's say robby kicked miguel down two stories in this 'verse too and tory recognizes him in her werewolf form even if she isn't exactly cognizant of herself. she tears straight for him, jaws open. billy doesn't exactly *mean* to protect him but it's kinda an automatic reaction from putting himself in between whenever he thought neil was getting too aggressive w susan or max. and like, sure, robby's the better fighter (not that billy would ever acknowledge this) but it's not like he's gonna karate kick the motherfuckin werewolf anyway-- billy is bigger, he's bigger and it's instinct and the next thing he knows, he's in between robby and the thing w sharp teeth (tory).

and that's when max gets serious. she bowls tory over, away from billy before she can bite. they're rolling, tearing at each other with teeth and claws. lo and behold, terry silver is lurking in the background like the evil mastermind he is, just watching them shred each other and evaluating his experiment. it's a p close match and tory is the more aggressive of the two but she's also been going, going, going since she shifted and she's burning herself out. she's also fighting with the blind instinct of a threatened animal while max maintains more precision bc she has better control of herself. max also isn't wasting energy unnecessarily. max gets her jaws around tory's throat and tory just goes slack. but she can think and she doesn't want to hurt tory, so she opens her mouth and relaxes her maw, teeth grazing harmlessly thru tory's fur.

tory's being shown mercy. possibly for the first time. it's so unlike her conception of others' ruthlessness, so unlike the worldview that's been instilled into her that it startles her enough to crack thru to her cognizance. she does the wolfy deference thing where they tuck their tails and lick at the dominant pack member's muzzle. max responds in kind and lets tory up.

this is when they notice terry lurking (billy's already worked out the werewolf that came to his defense is max so he's just dumbfounded watching all this shit, and robby's not abt to leave someone who just saved his ass, so he's stuck unsuccessfully tryna pull billy away and inevitably watching too). terry calmly slinks over, sizing up his charges. he's pleased with the performance. but tory and max are anything but, another werewolf fight ensues.

so while they all get huge after transforming sheerly on the basis of being werewolves, i'm gonna guess the size is proportionate to their human forms. so tory is a little larger than max and terry significantly outsizes them both. terry is also the more experienced werewolf. it's two against one but it's not the curbstop it would be if this was some weaksauce werewolf, it's dramatic evil karate werewolf terry fuckin silver. terry's shredding tf outta these two. their healing factor can't keep up, he's dishing out faster than either of them can recover and tbh they were already winded from fighting each other first.

but it'd be a major buzzkill if our movie had a downer ending. and also, the power of determination and friendship and shit. terry's got his jaws around max's throat now. he's a millisecond away from tearing it open. tory's pinned under him but she thinks fast, frees a hind leg, and rips her claws down his soft underbelly as deep as she can and doesn't stop ripping, like pedal kicking almost for a human, but with her hind claws. his intestines shoot out like paper snakes from a gag candy can!! okay, well, maybe they don't shoot out w that much gusto, but still. the bowels are free, the bowels are hanging low and tory's tearing 'em tf up, fluids n fecal matter errywhere. on tory. i'm sorry tory. ur under him, that's just how gravity works.

terry dies. healing factor can't keep up with the damage done, it's too critical. but nobody knows it's terry until the dawn breaks and he reverts back to his human shape.

max is v much 'i told u so,' in billy's face. robby promises not to tell. he doesn't want to get mauled or killed or anything. tory's able to cope better with what she did to sam knowing that it won't happen again, that she won't hurt anyone else she doesn't want to be she can control herself now. tory believes in mercy now bc max spared her, she trashes kreese's philosophy and joins eagle fang when johnny and daniel join forces in this 'verse too. max also joins eagle fang, takes her place in the front row right between tory and lucas at her v first practice.

credits roll.

after the credits we see tory considering turning her mother in the hopes that having the healing factor would help her mom's condition improve.

is that a teaser for the sequel?

idfk.

#max mayfield #dare i tag tory #i dare not #lucdarling #ask box #my fic tag #i kind of want to write this as a fic for real #fuck

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iluvsumbucky · 4 years

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Becca′s 366 Days Reblog Challenge Masterlist

I’m doing beccaanne814′s Reblog Challenge, 366 days of reblogging. This is the masterlist for June. It’s hard to believe that we are halfway through this year. This month I decided to reblog more than one or two fics a day. I wanted to try to share as many as I could. I hope that if y’all haven’t read these fics that you will check them out & then spread the love by reblogging them. Let’s show our appreciation & love for these amazing writers. I hope that you enjoy them, I did!

JUNE

Day 1 Rumors: 13: I love You by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

* Won’t You Stay (Part 6) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Won’t You Stay (Part 7) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Day 2 Won’t You Stay (Part 8) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Won’t You Stay (Part 9) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* The Queen’s Command by @wordynerdygurl

Day 3 The Maiden and The Outlaw Chapter 21 by @thorfanficwriter

* Howl - part 1 by @buckysknifecollection

* Pretty Woman by @beccaanne814

Day 4 Eff-able (Thor & Reader) by @thorfanficwriter

* Dancing in the Rain by @phant0m-queen

* Howl - part 2 by @buckysknifecollection

Day 5 Rumors: 14: Burning Bridges by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

* Making Omelettes Chapter 4 a collab series by @that-damn-girl & @thorfanficwriter

* Howl - part 3 by @buckysknifecollection

Day 6 Won’t You Stay (Part 10) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Won’t You Stay (Part 11) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Howl - part 4 by @buckysknifecollection

Day 7 Not My Captain - Part 2 by @thorfanficwriter

* Rumors: 15: Letting Go by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

* Won’t You Stay (Part 12) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Won’t You Stay (Part 13) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Day 8 Howl - part 5 by @buckysknifecollection

* Won’t You Stay (Part 14) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Won’t You Stay (Part 15) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Day 9 Whoopie Brownies by @thorfanficwriter

* Won’t You Stay (Part 16) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Won’t You Stay (Part 17) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Rumors: 16: Epilogue by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

Day 10 The Maiden and The Outlaw Chapter 22 by @thorfanficwriter

* Won’t You Stay (Part 18) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Won’t You Stay (Part 19) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Day 11 Won’t You Stay (Part 20) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Won’t You Stay (Part 21) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

* Mischief Managed (16) by @helloimanavenger

Day 12 Missing in Action - Part 1 by @talesmaniac89

* No Time To Waste: Part.1 by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

* Stardust: Alpha!Chris Beck x Reader by @after-avenging-hours

Day 13 She Blinded Me With Science by @lancsnerd

* Home Is You Cop!Clint x f reader Part One by @iwillbeinmynest

* The CEO -1- by @evanstanwrites

* HunT - A Visual SPN Story Prologue - Welcome to HunT (Big T guys!) by @talesmaniac89

Day 14 Salty: by @thorfanficwriter

* Home Is You Cop!Clint x f reader Part Two by @iwillbeinmynest

* The CEO -2- by @evanstanwrites

* bird cage by @clintbartonswife

* you deserve the sky. by @xbuchananbarnes

Day 15 Not My Captain - Part 3 by @thorfanficwriter

* you deserve the moon. by @xbuchananbarnes

* The CEO - 3- by @evanstanwrites

Day 16 Until Death Do Us Part by @wxntersoldiers

* No Time To Waste: Part. 2** by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

* The CEO - 4 - by @evanstanwrites

Day 17 Forever Friends (Bucky x child reader -platonic) by @jobean12-blog

* Un-eff-able (Bucky & Reader) by @thorfanficwriter

* The CEO - 5 - THE END by @evanstanwrites

Day 18 The Maiden and The Outlaw Chapter 23 by @thorfanficwriter

* The Testing Kind - Part 1 by @wordynerdygurl

* The Letter by @denisemarieangelina

Day 19 HunT - A Visual SPN StoryChapter 1 - The Wendigo Hunt by @talesmaniac89

* The Testing Kind - Part 2 by @wordynerdygurl

* No Time To Waste: Part. 3** by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

Day 20 The Testing Kind - Part 3 by @wordynerdygurl

* Deus Vult // The War Drum** by @allaboardthereadingrailroad

* Firefly Chapter 1. Five years old a collab series by @jay-and-dean & @roonyxx

* The Play’s The Thing | Loki x Reader by @just-the-hiddles

Day 21 The Testing Kind - Part 4 by @wordynerdygurl

* The Life of an Avenger Chapter 1 (Steve’s POV): Liar, Liar by @original-wintersoldier

* The Life of an Avenger Chapter 1 (Reader’s POV): Liar, Liar by @original-wintersoldier

Day 22 The Testing Kind - Part 5 by @wordynerdygurl

* The Life of an Avenger Chapter 2: The Beginning by @original-wintersoldier

* No Time To Waste: Part. 4 by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

Day 23 Making Omelettes Chapter 5 a collab series by @that-damn-girl & @thorfanficwriter

* The Life of an Avenger Chapter 3: Babysitting by @original-wintersoldier

* Priorities 1 - something about us doesn’t seem right these days by @a-splash-of-stucky

Day 24 The Life of an Avenger Chapter 4: Plot Twist by @thorfanficwriter

* Priorities 2 - life keeps getting in the way by @a-splash-of-stucky

* Smidge of Red by @simsadventures

Day 25 The Maiden and The Outlaw Chapter 24 by @thorfanficwriter

* The Life of an Avenger Chapter 5: Trust Issues by @original-wintersoldier

* Morning Emoji Fun by @denisemarieangelina

Day 26 The Life of an Avenger Chapter 6 (Part 1): Ego Measuring Contest by @original-wintersoldier

* Priorities 3 - whenever we try somehow the plan is always rearranged by @a-splash-of-stucky

* No Forgetting You - Chapter One by @ellewritesfix05

Day 27 The Life of an Avenger Chapter 6 (Part 2): Ego Measuring Contest by @original-wintersoldier

* Missing in Action - Part 2 by @talesmaniac89

* Deus Vult // Snuff the Rooster** by @allaboardthereadingrailroad

* Priorities 4 - it’s so hard to say, but i gotta do what’s best for me by @a-splash-of-stucky

Day 28 The Life of an Avenger Chapter 7: He’s a Deadman by @original-wintersoldier

* Priorities 5 - you’ll be okay by @a-splash-of-stucky

* Firefly Chapter 2. Seven years old a collab series by @roonyxx & @jay-and-dean

Day 29 The Life of an Avenger Chapter 8 (Part 1): The Battle of New York by @original-wintersoldier

* Priorities 6 - epilogue by @a-splash-of-stucky

* No Time To Waste: Part. 5 by @joannaliceevans-fanficblog

Day 30 The Life of an Avenger Chapter 8 (Part 2): The Battle of New York by @original-wintersoldier

* Skin Deep - Part 3 by @wordynerdygurl

* Healing Touch by @nano–raptor

#becca’s reblog challenge #366 days reblog challenge #june masterlist #masterlist

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ourimpavidheroine · 3 years

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I’ve gotta say, I’m really enjoying these stories. Also, your late father sounds like an amazing man. I can really see the inspiration for LoLo come out in your mentions of him.

When my mother got pregnant with me - a planned pregnancy, they were young when they married but I was born 16 months later - my father knew from the get-go that he wanted a girl.

This was (and, I am sad to say, still is) an unusual thing for a father to wish for. Most fathers wish for a son. My Dad, however, was raised by a drunken, abusive, narcissistic man and he was afraid that if he had a son he’d just turn into his father. He thought a daughter would help him break that cycle of abuse.

When I was born he told the nurse who brought me out to him in the waiting room that I was an angel, and Angel was the nickname that he alone called me.

He and I were very, very close, something that made my mother and younger brother jealous. (I didn’t really see or understand that until after he died when I was 26.) There was nothing whatsoever or remotely sexual about it, which is what people usually assume when a father and daughter are very close. As my girlhood best friend said to me a few months ago, my father thought the sun rose and set on me, thought that I was his fairy princess. All of my odd, Autistic/ADHD weirdness was something he loved. I always knew he loved me not just despite my weirdness but because of it. (Something that my late wife did as well.)

My father was a brilliant man. He graduated high school at 15 and went into university to study architecture. Academically he handled it, but he was way too young to handle the social aspects as well as the responsibility of it and so he dropped out a year later. Things were apparently hellish with my grandfather and my Dad enlisted in the Army on his 18th birthday. This was 1965 and the US started sending soldiers to Vietnam. Not my Dad, though. He took some tests the military gave him and after boot camp spent his entire three years on a Nike missle base in the middle of Milwaukee, working on one of those huge old mainframe computers (you know, the kind with punch cards). I’m guessing they didn’t send the really smart ones off to be killed.

He taught himself how to be an architect through reading books at the library, including textbooks that he would sit and read at UC Berkeley’s library, even though he wasn’t a student there any longer. Then, after he had learned that, he read through engineering and physics textbooks. Then he read through every single book he could find that taught him how to actually build the structures he had learned to draw. He was completely self-taught, and the man not only designed and built complicated, Broadway-worthy theater sets he also designed and built houses from the ground up. He wanted to build a rock retaining wall at our house (which was located at the base of a hill and was on an incline) and so he went to the library and got a book about how Romans built walls and spent three years going to the local river to source variously-sized river rocks to build that retaining wall, which he did completely without any kind of mortar, just balancing the rocks perfectly. It’s still standing, 40 years later.

He always worked at very menial jobs - he was a line cook, a stocker in a supermarket produce department, an RV park manager, etc. He was terrible with money, didn’t understand it at all. We lived right on top of the poverty line. He had zero executive functioning and that caused a lot of problems for all of us and meant a lot of broken promises, too.

I am completely sure that like me, like both of his grandchildren, he had Autism and ADHD. Not diagnosed of course, they weren’t in those days, But he had them nevertheless.

He was a voracious reader and introduced me to sci fi and fantasy. On my eighth birthday he gave me his copies of The Lord of the Rings and had me read them. (This was 1977, trust me when I tell you those books were not a household name at that point.) He’d wake me up at 3:30 am and we’d go fishing together, him with a thermos of black coffee, me with a bottle of orange juice and a box of Entenmann’s mixed donuts and we’d sit there in happy silence together, fishing and enjoying each other’s company. He was a wonderful storyteller and only once did he get angry with me. He never laid a hand on me or my brother but the one time he got angry with me he slapped me across the face and then the both of us cried.

He taught me many useful skills, like how to jimmy locks and how to walk through people unseen and how to learn on my own how to do things and how to make the world’s best pie. He always told me that I could absolutely anything I put my mind to. When I asked him once if that meant I could be a father - I was joking - he looked me straight in the eye and asked me if I actually wanted to be a father. When I told him no he responded that he had said if I had put my mind to it, and he wasn’t vouching for anything I pulled when I didn’t care.

He also told me that I was the strongest person he’d ever met and when I scoffed at that he shook his head and said, “Angel, most people see you and they have no idea at all what’s inside of you and what you are capable of. There is nothing in this life you won’t overcome. Someday, when we’re both dead, you come find me and tell me I’m wrong.” (So far, he has not been wrong.)

He was a functioning drunk; he only drank after 8 at night, however. Just enough to make sure he’d not be hungover in the morning. He was a night person and all his life only needed about 4 hours of sleep to be completely rested.

He loved movies but he hated to go alone and usually took me. Not all of these movies were appropriate for kids my age but there it was. When I was eleven he took me with him to see The Elephant Man and I broke down completely, devastated and sobbing, horrified at how cruel people were to the lead character, just because he was different. After the movie we sat in the car and he held me until I was done crying and when I was all done he told me to never forget how the movie had made me feel and to remember that no matter how different people were from me they were all human and deserved kindness, compassion and understanding. This was a lesson I have tried very hard to live throughout my life. He took people at face value, and that included everyone. I don’t think he was particularly woke based on 2021 sentiments but he tried very hard to treat people equally and that included queer people during the AIDS crisis, too.

He was a feminist and believed women should be equal to men. He walked the walk, too: he cooked, he cleaned, he changed diapers, etc. And by that I mean he did them as par for the course, as part of his daily life. He did not rely on my mother’s emotional labor to remind him to do shit. He just did it because things needed doing and he was a grownass man, not a man-child. He did not consider caring for his children as babysitting, either.

He liked to sing. My mother and brother have opera-quality singing voices - for real, both of them are quite gifted - but his wasn’t like that, it was just a perfectly ordinary, passable baritone, just like mine is a perfectly ordinary, passable alto. He sang and he whistled when he was happy and I do the same. He used to make up funny little songs and rhymes on the spot, he had a gift for improvisation that way. I wish I had inherited that but alas! No.

Even when he was a boy all of the neighborhood kids would come to him with broken toys to be fixed. He quite genuinely liked kids and even teenagers and spent a lot of time working with the local high school drama department, building the sets, working as the stage manager and setting up and working the lights and soundboard (he taught himself to do that as well) and even directing some of the plays when the drama teacher was out on maternity leave. To this day I still get contacted by people who were in school with me or my brother who tell me what an influence my father was on them, the special things he did for them to make sure they knew he was paying attention and cared. One guy a couple of years ago contacted me on Facebook and told me that he got into some trouble after high school, even got imprisoned for a few months. My father visited him in prison and afterwards took him to AA with him, became his sponsor, helped keep on the straight and narrow. He named his oldest son after my father, in fact. I hear a lot of those stories.

He loved books and he loved music and he taught me to love those things as well. He fell in love with my mother when he was seventeen and married her five years later and came to regret it - like his father, his wife was an abusive, narcissistic person. He stayed with her, though, until my second year of university, when he abruptly walked out on her, went to AA and quit drinking. I asked him about it later; he told me that he had wanted to leave her for years but knew that if he did he’d never see me or my younger brother again. The courts in those days automatically gave kids to the mother and my mother was an accomplished liar and would have told the courts anything and they would have believed her. Once I was out of the house and secure, then he was done. (The fact that my brother was only fifteen and left to fend for himself with my mother was...not good. Not good at all. My father was not perfect and he was not a saint and that was a mistake that still has repercussions today.) He did not do enough to protect me from my mother while I was growing up, however. He regretted it, he told me later. I understand now that he was constantly walking a knife’s edge, trying to keep her satisfied enough so she wouldn’t try to take me away from him, but it took therapy long after he died for me to really understand that.

His special interest was model railroading and he built these amazing, intricate landscapes, all by hand and by scratch. The man took latex molds off the sides of rocks to build mountains with and built buildings out of tiny pieces of wood and such. I spent many hours with him as he built, listening to music and reading or just laying there, thinking my thinks, or sometimes chattering nonstop to him.

He called me, every single Friday night, right after the X-Files ended, right after the child’s voice said “I made this.” My phone would ring and we’d chat for hours, talking about the show (we both loved it) and whatever else. He lived about 5 hours away from me at the time and we did talk at other times during the week but that was our standard date. He died in the middle of Season 2 and to this very goddamn fucking day whenever I hear that “I made this” I wait for my phone to ring. And I cry every single time because he will never call me again.

I absolutely think that meeting my late wife via the X-Files was my father, watching out for me. When my twins were newborn and pretty much all I did 24x7 was breastfeed them I re-watched the entirety of X-Files on the DVDs I had and I’d talk to my father in my head, telling him about his grandchildren.

He’d always buy the new Stephen King books in hardcover and read them and then give them to me to keep. He especially loved the Dark Tower series but I haven’t finished the ones that were published after he died. I bought them myself but they are still sitting on my bookshelf, unread. I just can’t.

He died in the hospital after being in a coma for a week. The ICU nurses were very kind and showed me how I could turn off the life support machine if I wanted to and told me that I could be in there with him as long as I needed. They very considerately closed all of the curtains and closed the door to the room. I was alone with him in there and I turned off the machine and I held his hand and I sang to him as he died. I didn’t want him to be alone.

He was right. I was strong enough to do that. It hurt, though. It still hurts.

He’s buried in California with a free military headstone because my comfortably upper middle class grandfather refused to shell out for a headstone and I was flat broke. Many years later I had a regular stone engraved with the words, “Go then, there are other worlds than these” and I placed it at our summer cottage here in Finland for him. I like to think that he and my late wife are keeping company. They never met here, but they would have liked each other very much, that I do know.

#impavid storytime #my father #long post #I loved him very much #in case you didn't get that from this #Anonymous

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blankdblank · 4 years

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Next Caller Pt 2

** The next day **

Tomorrow was a big race, huge, at least as far as the seating went. There were bigger qualifying races and such up in the upcoming months that would need much more work to fine tune the car that Frerin would try for the championship once again. Yet it took most of the boys’ focus not to focus on the red haired Dwobbit back in Erebor. Nightly cute messages were traded in group chats and between the pair of them they managed to get the spunky albeit a bit distractible woman to agree to a date with them. Somehow rock climbing came up and the new indoor place was the first on their minds as it also had some other indoor activities and an eatery as well if she lost her nerve on trying the slightly dangerous activity.

The press was expected, well required, so that their sponsors could get all the air time possible. Clad in their most popular and noisiest sponsor jackets the boys sat down in the garden adjacent seating area of their hotel. Chatting about the message from Dwalin that the MugMafioso Lass had missed a day posting she was off on a ‘sleuthing mission’ stirring an extra huffy mood from Thorin at having to sit through another fill in shift with no entertainment for the day.

Kili, “Only been two days, what could be so important,” his hand waved in front of Fili who was now glaring at the bolero wearing forest green haired woman subtly glancing their way and scribbling notes in a notebook. “That, Fi, why would the Lass-,” leaning in he tapped his brother’s shoulder, “What are you staring at?”

His head turning to follow his gaze seeing just the oddly forest green haired lass with eyes blocked by a tilted bolero hat containing most of her curled mess of a bun with a paint splattered open flannel and tattered equally as colorful black jeans over green converse matching her nails a few tables over. “She keeps looking and writing things down.” His brows clenched again seeing her pen stop as he stopped talking, “See! This is supposed to be a no press zone-,” before Kili could talk the slightly drowsy teen stood and crossed to her table snatching the book, “This is a no press zone!”

“Excuse you?!” She fired back turning to face the teen fuming at the loss of her book and now line through the middle of her sketch at his jerking it away, “Give me back my book!”

Fili repeated, “You should be lucky I didn’t have you thrown out, just leave and I won’t have to.”

“Give, me, my, book.” She grit out firmly. Kili was now on his feet as she slid off her chair to her feet barely half a foot shorter than him but clearly able to eye his weak points by her feet shifting subtly.

Kili, “Fi, give her the book-.”

Fili, “This is-,” a hard jab of her knuckle straight into his side with the arm holding her book up hitting a bundle of nerves making his whole right side go numb and limp, “Ah!” His arm dropped and she grabbed the book his hand let go of and she opened the book to the page almost pressing it directly against his face “It’s a sketch of a squirrel! Which you nearly ruined,” in closing the book she whacked him on his numb shoulder, “You self obsessed jackalope!” Her hand heavily hit her bag dragging it to her side she folded under her arm to kick his numb shin, painless now but sure to leave a nasty and painful bruise before she stormed off muttering, “Took me half an hour to sketch that.. now it’s, ruined…”

Kili turned fighting his chuckles to shout while Frerin watched the end of the debacle from the doorway, “Really sorry Miss! He’s just needs some coffee!”

When she stepped out of the room Kili hurried over to help work the other nerve endings to wake his right side again. Frerin however crosses the room with coffee in hand saying, “I leave you for ten minutes and you’re menacing innocent civilians? What did I miss?”

Fili said, “Thought she was writing about us.”

Kili snorted, “She was sketching that fat squirrel napping on the gnome statue wheelbarrow.” Pointing at the garden just past the glass wall making his uncle smirk to himself and help his nephew recover use of his side.

Frerin, “Clearly she’s not as harmless as her size makes her seem, you see her again apologize, and hide behind something, one hell of a blow..” furrowing his brows not having seen a reaction this bad to that move before.

Kili smirked saying, “As I was saying, it hadn’t even been two days and uncle’s in a huff.”

Frerin glanced at him, “Which uncle?”

Kili, “Thorin.”

Frerin nodded, “Ah, still have that babysitting gap fuss huh?”

Fili sighed rotating his half awake arm, “No, about the Mug Lass.”

Frerin chuckled, “Bout time he got to swooning again. Been ages since the last one who ran off with that muffin cart guy.”

Fili looked him over then said to his brother, “Either way doesn’t matter, says he won’t do anything. ‘Just helping out’,”

Frerin chuckled, “If he was he wouldn’t have offered her a job on the spot. Took months for him to vet Tillie and we grew up with her dad. No, he felt a spark and he’s gonna try to keep her close till it hits him he’s got to ask her out.”

Kili, “That how you old fogeys used to date?”

Frerin gave him a playful glare, “Hey, I’m 16 years older than you lot, watch it I could just be an older brother at first glance.” Making the pair roll their eyes as he said, “Come on, we gotta go meet Ori for the art auction talks.” They nodded and joined him for the walk they sipped their coffees on out to the garages.

There outside each open garage in front of their race cars were mini fridges that would be custom painted and auctioned off for children’s hospitals and smack dab in front of Greenleaf’s team garage stood the same paint splattered woman showing off a sketch from the same book Fili had tried to keep from her.

Lowly the blonde muttered, “Oh, anvils…” making the two eye the direction he was looking only to chuckle and give him knowing glances to make it right before she took off again.

** Hours earlier **

‘Sorry my handsome Mug Dealer, up to some sleuthing mischief today so won’t be able to nab my daily fix. Be back tomorrow if you’re still up to some herbal magic. ;)’

A wink followed the teasing message and to yourself you smirked then sighed tilting your bolero hat lower to cast the shadow farther over your face. You were off to the Iron Hills and hopefully none who knew your family would be there but just in case you braided up your forest green hair and broke out your hat to hopefully hide you from a distance at least.

It wasn’t like you screamed your family head on when others looked at you but those familiar would know and one utterance of his name always blackened yours. Even a name change couldn’t cure it for long once the rumor was in the air as to who you might belong to. You wanted to do this on your own and if you had to hide to pull it off without any allies, then so be it.

But for now you enjoyed your flirtation with the giant grump of a barista who seemed too busy to care about anything romantic, but it didn’t stop you from dreaming about those arms and broad chest holding you oh so tightly through the night. No doubt with an adorable resting scowl to contrast the few wide eyed blushes you had scored from the hopelessly out of reach man you were oh so far from subtly pining over. All the same you couldn’t date, it wasn’t fair to him with your work schedule and lack of funds no doubt bleeding his wallet and patience dry to work out a date while you shuffled hours back and forth between jobs and home each day. Still it was nice to just have the dream to distract you on the hard nights.

Today however instead of being with your grump of a Mug Dealer you were off to help a friend with a charity auction to raise some money for kids. Your father’s name might be blackened but the sponsors on his team were no fans of his and were open allies of yours fully supporting your place as the resident artist for events like this and gladly aided in your disguises and alias to protect yourself when in enemy territory. Still you would be in Dwarf territory and defenses were laxer as not many cared to keep up with Elven hate lists even with Elf teams joining them. The train brought you absurdly early so as usual you would head to the seating area by the inner gardens to keep out of the way and wait for your friends to wake up and come down to greet you.

Heavily down onto the cold cement outside the garage you sat and huffed pulling out your phone counting down the hours you had to just barely get back in time for your shift at the hotel. Not long after you were rolling your eyes and pocketing it again at the few pouting emojis replying to your message about missing your stop today with no reply from Thorin, or so you assumed not knowing which account could be his own, surely he wouldn’t use the shop account to talk to you. A pout of your own formed only to drop as you stood hearing your friends, the Greenleafs approaching you.

Thranduil, “Jack Rabbit, what are you doing on the ground?” His grin doubled accepting your hug followed with one from his dad and son behind him while the rest of the pit crew for Thranduil went to open their garage.

“Ugh,” shaking your head you replied, “Tried waiting near the garden and this blonde came over jerking my book away saying something about press,” you showed him the sketch saying, “Got this idea for the fridge, certainly won’t be copied most like.”

Thranduil chuckled saying, “It would be adorable. I want one for my fridge.”

You rolled your eyes again in the duo agreeing with him while the rest of the teams came to start opening their garages and the crew in charge of unloading the mini fridges. The arrival of a familiar pair had you grumbling again and amused the team around you while you set out your open bag and got to painting across the unfinished metal fridge. That same unconscious fat squirrel being carried around in that wheelbarrow by a gnome was matched by other gnomes and squirrels on the other sides and top with scattered acorns and seeds in a garden backdrop.

A cleared throat turned your head as you watched your now dry fridge being wheeled over to the line of other obscurely decorated fridges that would soon be up for auction in front of the growing crowd of investors ready for the luncheon after. “I would like to apologize, for earlier.”

Your head turned and you locked eyes with the blonde now realizing your silver flecked purple eyes parting his lips at the distinct eyes that Frerin recognized hearing about from his cousins about the famous MugMafioso. “Ah, I see you’ve had your coffee.”

“Fili,” His hand outstretched and he said, “I am so sorry. I should not have acted the way I did or spoke to you that way and fully deserved your jab and kick.”

You shook his hand and released it saying, “I suppose I can let it go, once.” Making him smirk at you in a nod looking you over.

“I have to ask, why did you call me a jackalope?”

You shrugged answering, “First animal I could think of.”

He says, “But jackalope’s aren’t-,”

Your hands clasp over his mouth widening his eyes making his brother and uncle chuckle, “You don’t say that! You never say that! If you say that a jackalope dies! Say you believe in them!”

Your hands lower and he lowly says, “I believe in jackalopes.” Your brows inch up and he repeats it, “I believe in jackalopes.”

“Good, you never say that. That’s like saying the same about Unicorns or Stone Giants.”

He chuckles, “Stone Giants? Really?..” he pauses for a moment, “Really?”

“You heard about that mountain collapse onto that ski village by Orcarni. They found a massive foot.” While he spoke your eyes focused on his face making him smirk as you saw the clear resemblance between him and your grumpy barista past the scar along the right side of his jaw up to just under his ear you would have noticed even with a beard, not even mentioning the slight hint of green flecks in his bright blue eyes your grump didn’t have.

He looks at Frerin who says, “That’s actually true, five hundred meter foot solid rock.”

An alarm from your pocket had you drawing out your phone and saying, “Oh, I gotta go.”

Kili, “Another charity drive?”

You shook your head, “No, my job. Nice to meet you Fili.”

When you looked at Frerin again he said, “I’m Frerin Miss Mafioso. My brother will be glad to see you tomorrow. Wondered what your sleuthing entailed.”

Smirking at him you said, “Oh you haven’t seen sleuthing yet.” Turning to say goodbye to your friends before trotting off to hop into the car Oropher had called to drive you to your train to get back to Erebor and off to work on time.

A caramel apple cider was waiting for you in the car and you couldn’t help but smirk sipping on the drink thinking about Frerin’s comment all the way to the train station. Though halfway a delay had you groaning and calling your shift manager to share your train would be delayed. And ten minutes earlier than you had promised you panted behind him, the ragged breaths making him turn and accept the slip of paper the station gave to the passengers upon request as proof of delay apologizing before darting off to change.

The determination to keep the job you had rarely taken a day off or been late or sloppy in results to uphold the reputation of the hotel making the Dwarf smirk and turn himself back to his office that Tili Findis was standing in the doorway of. The blonde haired side burned Dam smirked herself asking, “Always like that?”

The manager nodded turning back to her, “Yes Ma’am, past the occasional train delay rarely ever late. Quite the exceptional record, no doubt she will make up her missed time and then some, always does.”

“We are lucky to have such a dedicated worker on staff.” She said guiding him back into his office while you were halfway changed and hurrying to fix your hair and hurry to get to the work you were behind on.

“We spotted your Mafioso.” Frerin smirked in sending off in a text.

Thorin at the shop back in the office shifted in his seat and replied back, “Not my Mafioso.”

Frerin smirked and sent a picture, “Look what she made for the charity auction.” Adding the picture he had taken, “She is talented and stunning. Move fast or she’ll be snapped up.”

Thorin, “She’s not interested.”

Frerin rolled his eyes, “Of course not, that’s why she seemed upset I wasn’t you.”

Thorin’s expression shifted and he sat up, “What?”

Already smirking Frerin typed back, “Have to prep for the race, she’s on her way back to work. I said you’ll see her tomorrow.”

“Frerin! How was she upset?!” Groaning after five minutes had past Thorin rubbed his face and rested his head in his hands he dropped to the desk his arms were resting on at the knock at the door, “Yes?”

Dwalin smirked eyeing his disheveled beard, “Customer wants yesterday’s special, that is if you’re not busy eating your desk.”

Thorin sighed and stood palming his phone, “I am not eating my desk.” Walking towards his cousin to the door, “Frerin saw Miss Pear.”

Dwalin followed after him with a spreading grin, “Ooh, details.” Thorin showed him the picture while he made the drink, “I want one of these. Hold on, she knows the Greenleaf team then? So she’s the enemy then…Ooh, drama.” Thorin rolled his eyes heading to deliver the drink while his cousin said, “Two star crossed lovers,”

Thorin rumbled on his way back from the table he left the drink at with a friendly nod, “Not lovers.”

Dwalin, “From opposite sides of the world forced apart by station and economics.”

Thorin gave him a pointed glare and a woman on the other side of the counter sighed drawing their gaze to her and her soppy grin, “That’s so romantic. I hope it works out for you both.”

Thorin gave another hard gaze at Dwalin then asked, “What can I get you?”

She flashed her phone and he nodded seeing the drink from your first post and she sighed again giving the cash to Dwalin asking, “His lover, is it really so impossible?”

Thorin’s head drooped back in putting the hot water on to boil seeing there wasn’t any already left for this order and his eyes clenched at the next two women dressed identically with scarves tied opposite ways around their necks over their stewardess uniforms in line saying, “He does seem to be in anguish over the separation.”

Lowly he rumbled, “I am not in anguish.”

The first woman said, “It’s almost like that Bunny show with Countess Beatrice.”

Dwalin smirked asking, “You listen to that show too?”

She gave a playful giggle, “Of course! It’s the best thing on the air.”

One of the Stewardesses said, “We just caught up yesterday, the station actually has the shows on their app so we can relisten anytime.”

The other nodded saying while Thorin passed the first woman her drink and asked, “What can I get you?”

They both gave their answers and the second said, “It’s really great for when we fly for hours and miss it.” She looked to Dwalin asking, “Do you play it here?”

Dwalin nodded, “Yup, since the first show. Can’t help it, hooked right away.” Making them grin as he said, “Keep trying to figure out who Bunny is for ourselves.”

The first said, “No doubt she’s quite the lass for having the Countess’ trust to share so much on air.”

Dwalin shook his head a twinge rumbling back, “No doubt.”

Another train ride and hard fall onto your bed later it was if you had blinked and you were back to the train again. A bit early for your shift you grumbled waiting in the hall leaning against the wall until your show would start. And nearly falling through the doorway you eased past the exiting team and took your seat adjusting the mic through a large yawn.

“You look half dead, you gonna make it?”

“I run on sunshine and rainbows.”

Mal snorted through a giggle she tried to muffle behind her hand, “Bad thing we’re indoors then. I could probably draw you one.”

Groggily you giggled and forced a grin at the second to last count from Mal bolstering up yourself to get through another four hours. Trying to keep from breaking character noticing she had taped up sketches of a rainbow topped scene of a meadow with smiling goats and sheep. Of course in return you sketched a picture of her as a cat making her laugh in return while you delved further in the story, though this time with Wolsey’s twin brother, Raul.

** Back in the Tea Shop **

“Hey hey hey, welcome to another damp day out here in the Misty Mountains and it’s just you and me your dear friend Bunny, devoted with my ear to the ground here to give you all the latest on those lovable Durin boys of ours.”

The voice echoed through the stunningly quiet tea shop and Thorin sat at home listening in his morning off anxious to hear more about this mysterious Bunny’s story having heard that nothing was able to be found out by Dain yet about who she was.

“And I would like all of you to meet the one and only hard to pin down Raul, brother to the infamous Wolsey.” Lips parted all through Erebor and it continued, “How is The Tibelt fairing you?”

Two hours of his pirate life in and out of the Durin’s daily lives bewildered and awed the audience before out of nowhere a new character named Adrianna, who was the mistress of a Duke Frenn. An actual recorded couple in their history with a mysterious past of their own people loved to speculate on the pair who rarely spoke outside of formal events and never on personal terms allowing ample to build on. Out of nowhere she started to go off on Raul and through the line Frenn dipped into the conversation leaving everyone on the edge of their seats and openly groaning ready to throw things when you had to cut them short.

“Alright, alright,” giggling as Mal was on the verge of weeping from laughter in her booth at your single person argument skillfully pulled off, “I’m gonna have to cut this off for today, and hopefully we can hash out those tiny details later.” Each of the trio signed off and the cut off ads played. Inside the tea shop Thorin glared at the counter upset to have raced in from his car only to have gotten here right at the end of the show anyways meaning he could have waited at home and still have gotten here in time to fix you your drink.

But any coincidence was lost as you seemed to float through the door in a sort of funk of your own instantly sparking his urge to brighten your mood. Once you got to the front of the line after the two chattering customers in front of you he asked, “Bad day?”

At the upwards tick of your brow you said, “Train was delayed, bit late to work. Nothing out of the usual. Whatever you’re making just make sure it gives me enough oomph to make it an hour trail ride without passing out. Please, thank you.”

The bill was left in his palm and you turned to walk to a shorter table this time that was open and he got to mixing stealing glances at you uncertain why you hadn’t hinted or said anything about is brother or being at the races. Halfway assuming that those ladies and Dwalin could have been right that you had seen you were on the opposite side of some barrier blocking even a friendship. At least until his next glance due to a poke from Dwalin. A larger than thought possible yawn from you had him smirking through the shiver after and sleepy smack of your lips as you forced your arms off the table to keep from napping in public, something your body seemed adamant to force you to do.

Up to you he brought the drink and rumbled, “You haven’t slept I see.”

“Sleep is a fickle mistress, my good Mug Dealer.” Making him smirk as you snapped a picture of the drink so you could take a sip. “Mmm, pineapple-y. Touché.”

“How long was your shift? My brother said you were off to work after the charity auction.”

“Mhmm,” you hummed after another sip slowly starting to perk up your gears to keep you going a bit longer. “Well, that one starts at noon.”

“Until?”

“Just past midnight.” He scoffed at that, “Then I went home and pretended to sleep while my neighbors had their weekly ukulele concerto next door till my second job shift was kicking off.”

Inhaling deeply his hands settled on the table he had to fight to keep from throwing, “You worked a 12 hour shift, then couldn’t sleep, then worked another shift? How long is your second job shift?”

“Five-ish, hours. Depending on extras they need.”

His eye brow twitched as you looked his face over mid sip, “This is really good, thank you.”

“You said you need that for the train ride, how long is that?”

“Mmm, an hour-ish.”

Lowly he repeated, “Ish..” wetting his lips he shifted on his feet, “Where do you live that you have to take an hour train? And that’s one way? Not round trip I assume?”

You nodded, “Hour-ish, one way. I live in Beryl.”

Even Dwalin’s head turned hearing the town on the outskirts of Erebor just outside the mountain range nearly to Angmar. Considered one of the roughest towns to live in economically with few businesses able to stay open at all for how little the people tend to make leading to more and more commuting long hours form there for decent jobs only worsening things. Thorin parroted back, “You live in--,” Exhaling steadily he said, “You can’t live in Beryl!”

“As you recall handsome, I said I don’t make a living.”

“Oh I recall.”

“Train’s fine, I don’t mind the ride, just hate the chance of falling asleep.”

Dwalin scoffed, “No doubt you’d be looted by the time it loops around.”

“Oh that wouldn’t happen.” Making Thorin’s brow inch up, “They know my family. Even the black sheep for centuries and they just totter away.”

Thorin’s arms crossed on the table, “Who is your father?”

You pointed at him, “Mmm, breaking all the rules asking where I live before you even know my name.” sipping on the last of your drink as he struggled against a blushing smirk playfully glaring at you.

“Don’t change the subject, you can’t live in Beryl. You can’t thrive there. They’re just on the news this morning talking about shifting the territory to the Grey Mountains to see if the Northern Dwarf clans can whip it back into shape.”

“No doubt evicting me once a background check comes through.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Only reason I got my five hour job was cuz I nearly got hit by this guy when I used to have a bike first moving out to this quadrant and he heard my stomach saying he’d pay me out of pocket to help at his office. Five years later he actually gives me a set salary and three hundred years later I’ve yet to fill in a job application. Second job I got through a hobbit temp agency who didn’t dig hard in family lines after I changed my last name, which when dug hard enough gets flagged to blacklist.”

“How are you going to make it home?”

“Train.”

“No, I mean you’re exhausted.”

“Been worse.”

“Don’t post until you get home. I want to know you get there.”

“If I wait I’ll forget and fall asleep.”

That made him huff again and his hand molded around your mug, “I’ll make you another, on the house.”

A second mug was brought and finished off and in your slide off the chair you turned at the card in front of you and Thorin saying, “Call when you get home.”

Deeply you sighed and accepted the card, “If you insist, Mug Dealer.” Pocketing the card you made him shake his head at the wink and click of your tongue on your turn towards the door.

At the counter again he rumbled, “Beryl!”

Dwalin grumbled in return and Balin said, “If Frerin’s tale has any merit she is quite able to handle herself. No matter who this clan of hers might be.”

Dwalin, “Who could they be to have her so mum on it?”

Behind them the same woman from the day prior sighed and said, “So dramatic,” making them turn around, “Two families on opposite sides of the tracks. One good, one unspeakable…” Thorin shook his head and walked behind the counter as another woman walked up to join in the commenting as if his life was part of Bunny’s dramatic show.

Still, for an hour he waited several times ensuring his cell phone was on and checking on the status of your latest review which brought more in to try it. An out of place ring from the shop phone had Balin turning from his sprouts to answer it while the others worked on the orders. “The Arkenstone brew and grew, how may I be of service?”

“Uh, this is the Mafioso,”

“Ah, yes, you’ve made it home then?” He could hear the heavy lock on the door being locked and keys falling.

“Yup, and am staring at my bed, and am going down. My best to my Mug Dealer.”

Balin chuckled hearing a thump into a mattress and said, “That I will, rest well.” Hanging up at the start of a deep breath he went to join the others stating, “That was Miss Pear.”

Sharply Thorin turned, “Why did she call here?”

Dwalin smirked, “You gave her card.”

Thorin, “With my number on the back.”

Dwalin chuckled, “Which side did you put up?”

Balin, “Doesn’t matter, she slipped it right into her pocket and is asleep now. Heard her fall into bed myself.” Patting his cousin’s back seeing the worry still lingering in his eyes as to where you were sleeping even if the place was locked like a vault.

Pt 3

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore, @mariannetora, @shesakillerkween

Hobbit/LotR – @abiwim, @jotink78, @pastelhexmaniac

#Thorin x Reader OC #Fili/Kili x Reader OC #Dwalin x Bilbo

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bobasheebaby · 4 years

Text

100 Roseanne Prompts

I usually try to stick to quotes that can work for everyone but some of these were too good to skip. Break at 15 like always. Request a show

1 “Hey, all our lives suck.” — Roseanne

2 “Here's why you can't trust your kids 'cause they're stupid. That's why we don't give 'em cars or booze.” — Roseanne

3 “Etsy is like a yard sale except online because nobody can afford a yard anymore.” — Darlene

4 “All of your relatives died from alcoholism. The ones that didn't drink were killed by the ones who did.” — Roseanne

5 “Did all of your children's deliveries go according to your birth plan?” “Um, they found their way out, if that's what you mean.” — Andrea & Roseanne

6 “You gotta pick your fights in life.” — Roseanne

7 “Okay, he doesn't have to wear pants, but he's gotta wear underwear.” — Dan

8 “It is not my fault that I just happen to be a charismatic person who's always right about everything.” — Roseanne

9 “Why are you picking on me? What, did I take the last doughnut, or something?” — Darlene

10 [Person B is embarrassed after walking in on Person C nursing her baby] “Oh, now, NAME. It's not like you've never seen breasts before.” “NAME’s my friend. As far as I'm concerned, she has no breasts... It works for me, okay?” — Roseanne & Dan

11 “The car has heated seats? Thank God, I thought I was going through the change.” — Roseanne

12 [stoned and laying the bathtub] “Is this the sink? Am I shrinking?” — Jackie

13 “In this house, I'm in charge and father knows squat.” — Roseanne

14 “What's up? I smell fear. I love that smell! But what's up?” — Roseanne

15 “Do you have anything sharp I can stick in my eye?” — Dan

16 “You are really, really gettin' on my nerves today, man! I mean more than usual!” — Dan

17 “Well, you think you can stop me from seeing NAME, huh?” “I think I can stop you from seeing tomorrow.” — Mark & Dan

18 “You were always trying to push us apart. You were always putting me down!” — Mark Healey

19 “My marriage is not based on me listening!” — Roseanne

20 “Why don't you just kiss my butt?” “Well, haul it on over here, Jumbo!” — Becky & Darlene

21 “You are just evil!” — Jackie

22 “Oh good, go for the guilt. You better take a looong, hard look at yourself, NAME, 'cause if you are this obsessed with my life, there is obviously something missing from yours.” “Just figure that out?” — Jackie & Roseanne

23 “I thought you were just gonna go over there and scare him/her?” “Well, it started out that way.” — Roseanne & Dan

24 “Being your own boss isn't that great of a deal. Last week I sexually harassed myself.” — Dan

25 “Hell, even I don't hate her that much.” — Dan

26 “Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous.” “Just don't shoot any milk out of you nose, and you'll be fine.” — Becky & Roseanne

27 “Please, NAME, I don't want you to help me, I just want you to leave me alone ... Please.” — Darlene

28 “Don’t toy with me, NAME.” — Roseanne

29 “We, have had a fight, and we're not speaking to each other.” “Oh, well, what was the fight about? Maybe I can take a side.” — Roseanne & Jackie

30 “He/She wanted to do something; I didn't feel like it.” “Yeah, well, so what are you going to do?” “Nothing.” “That's what you did last weekend!” “Yeah, well I'm not finished.” — Darlene & Roseanne

31 “No, NAME always was the bad influence.” — Roseanne

32 “Talking - it's like yelling, only not as loud.” — Roseanne

33 “Yeah, but you know what they say, NAME. They say, ah, when you really love something you should, you know, make it go away or get rid of it, or whatever.” — Roseanne

34 “You're acting like a crazed psychopath.” [snorts] “Well the voices in my head disagree.” — Dan & Roseanne

35 [on getting married] “I always thought it was the smartest thing I ever did. You obviously don't agree.” “No, I do agree with you, it was the smartest thing you ever did, but we're talking about me now!” — Dan & Roseanne

36 [Person A and Person B bury the hatchet] “So, I guess we've finally approached the end of Bitch-Fest YEAR.” “Oh what a time we had!” — Roseanne & Darlene

37 “You can't tell NAME what to do. She's a big girl!” [snarls] “Compared to who?” — David & Roseanne

38 “What kind of list is he/she making? Not that it's any of my business.” “A hit list.” — Beverly & Dan

39 [feeling for pulse] “I think he’s/she's dead.” [steps back] “Check again.” “I know how to count to zero.” — Roseanne & Dan

40 “What was the second thing you noticed about me?” — Roseanne

41 “Aw, get off the sympathy wagon, NAME; there were plenty of guys/girls standing in line for you to treat 'em like dirt. I was just the lucky one.” — Dan

42 “You are rotten rotten kids, and I can't even believe I'm related to you two!” — Jackie Harris

43 “You'll just do something stupid that you're going to regret later.” — Roseanne

44 “I'm your husband/wife. That's my right.” — Dan

45 [finds present] “You're not going to open it, are you? It's two days away.” “Yea! Well I need time to practice pretending like I like it.” [pulls something ugly from the box] “Oh man, I should'a opened it a week ago.” — Jackie & Roseanne

46 “Oh, this is going to be soooo great!” — Darlene

47 “What's the catch?” “No catch, can't we do something nice?” “I don't know, you never have.” — Roseanne & Becky

48 “Oh my God. You're kidding me!” — Roseanne

49 “Save your breath, NAME, you're not gonna talk me into dropping this lawsuit.” “Well, maybe I can talk you into begging for your life.” — Fred & Roseanne

50 “I'm way more powerful than any law!” — Roseanne

51 “Well NAME, I guess you're just not the man/woman I thought you were ... and I wasn't too happy with that one!” — Roseanne

52 “We should've known, NAME, men stick together no matter how butt headed their argument is.” — Becky

53 [about Person b and person c’s sex life] “You're kidding? You guys have a night?” “Yes, we have a night. It's not only Wednesday, but it's always Wednesday.” You have a time too?” “Yeah. Twenty minutes, or until he gets a cramp.” “Well, you should make him wait half-an-hour after he eats.” — Jackie & Roseanne

54 “Oh, c'mon. Just because you guys aren't having "Wednesday", doesn't mean he’s/she's out ... "Wednesday-ing" somebody else.” — Jackie

55 “What's the matter with you, boy/girl? Can't keep your pants on?” — Dan

56 “Damn women! Who the hell do they think they are!” “We are sugar and spice, and everything nice. So bite me!” — Dan & Roseanne

57 “Have you met NAME?” — Roseanne

58 “Gee, I'd love to NAME, but I'd rather stay home and drill some screws into my toes.” — Darlene

59 “Remember one thing, NAME, I'm your worst nightmare!” — Jackie

60 “You always say how you want better things for us.” “Ah, yea, but I was talking about me and your Dad. You kids already got it too good.” — Becky & Roseanne

61 “You are a controlling bitch!” — Dan

62 “Boy I'll tell you, I wish I had never m - -“ “What? Say it.” “Nothin'.” “Well that makes two of us.“ — Dan & Roseanne

63 “Ooohhh, we all know what this is about, don't we? You're just jealous because I've made something of myself.” “Yeah, an ass ... And where do you get that hoity-toity accent anyway? You're from PLACE!” — Ronnie & Roseanne

64 “I can't believe that I wasted TIME hating you for something as stupid as a wedding, when there's a very good reason to hate you. You're a bitch!” [gasps] “I'm a bitch? Hah! I bow to the queen of all bitches.” — Roseanne & Ronnie

65 “Look me in the eye and tell me it was an accident. And remember ... I can tell when you're lying.” “It was an accident ... could you tell?” — Roseanne & DJ

66 “I could go for something to eat.” “Yeah? Well, then go.” [motions toward the door] — Arnie & Roseanne

67 “You're going to flunk marriage if you can't pass the oral ... oh my God ...” “We know too much, we know too much.” — Dan & Fred

68 “NAME, where'd you get those jelly beans?” “From the bin at store.” “NAME, I told you, you gotta finish eating them while you're in the store, 'else it's stealing!” — Roseanne & DJ

69 “I never thought I would say this ... I'm too depressed to drink.” — Dan

70 “Let's just cut the crap, okay. You're talking to NAME’s mother here, the mother of all mothers and she is majorly mad.” — Roseanne

71 “NAME, NAME, NAME. I have raised two of the best damn liars in the free world. Don't embarrass yourself.” — Roseanne

72 “This is for the pain.” “Owwww. Make it a double.” — Nurse & Jackie

73 “I hate to see you laying here in pain like this.” “Well actually, ever since he/she gave me that shot, I'm feelin' kinda neat.” — Gary & Jackie

74 “I want someone who will love me and support me no matter what. Just like NAME does for you.” “Are you insane! You know how many years I had to put into NAME? You think he/she came out of a box like that!” — Jackie & Roseanne

75 “What do you think your punishment oughta be?” “What do you mean?” “NAME told me everything.” “That little rat.” “But I told him/her I wasn't going to do anything until I get your side of the story.” “Well first we, wait a minute, uh, uh --“ “You're getting good.” — Roseanne & Becky

76 “I worked it out with NAME, he’s/she's gonna stay here and babysit and I'm gonna go out.” “Why would he/she do that?” “I have dirt on him/her. “ “What kind of dirt?” “Now if I told you, I'd have to stay home.” [person a leaves] — Darlene & Roseanne

77 [Person A is acting like a hunchback] “I brought the baggage master, where do you wish me to put it?” “Just put it anywhere Igor.” “Maybe later you and me.” “We'll see.” You're so kind.” [ kisses hand] — Dan & Roseanne

78 [about child’s behavior] “NAME you did stuff like that when you were NAME’s age right?” “No, the boy's odd.” — Roseanne & Dan

79 [offering to the family] “Hey, I got one more pancake.” “I want French toast!” “Well, you better move to Europe.” — Roseanne & DJ

80 [Person A, angry, grabs keys and leaves the house] “Oh God. This is really bad.” “Yeah, I know.” “Oh no. I mean, this is really bad. I'm parked behind him/her.” — Jackie & Dan

81 “Yeah, I do. And we're not going to put him/her through that again, are we?” — Dan

82 [comes in through the front door] “NAME, you all ready to go?” [whining] “I don't wa-haant to-o-o-o! I feel like a used piece of gum that somebody stuck under the table, just waiting for the excitement of drying up and hitting the floor.” — Jackie & Roseanne

83 “You HAVE to take this job ... you're the only one that applied!” — Marsha

84 [grabs the syrup bottle and comes up behind PERSON B] “Remember me, NAME?” [look of terror] “Not Mrs. Butterworth ... please not Mrs. Butterworth.” “Remember how your brother/sister NAME told you how I came to life at night in the cupboard? Remember how I would chase you around even though I have no legs? Well I'm back and I just want one more sticky kiss!” [PERSON B screams] — Roseanne & Jackie

85 “I hope I see you later, I mean, a lot later.” — Roseanne

86 [after the birth] “I didn't call you any horrible names back there, did I?” “No more than usual.” — Roseanne & Dan

87 [about kid dressed as a lawyer] “That's the scariest costume all night.” — Roseanne

88 [going through the candy bowl] “This is all sugar in here.” “Not true, there're chemicals too.” — David & Roseanne

89 “You should be giving children the stuff their bodies need.” [gets fruit from the kitchen] “What the hell is that?” “Wait a minute, honey, I've seen this before, it's food that doesn't come in a wrapper.” “That's unsanitary.” — David, Roseanne & Dan

90 “Did you see the Great Pumpkin last night?” “No, NAME wore pajamas.” — Jackie & Roseanne

91 [discussing Person C] “She's rude and selfish.” “I know, but, inside she's just a ... scared little girl.” Yeah, and I know what's scaring her, the raging bitch on the outside.” — Dan & Roseanne

92 “I'll be back later to give you your present.” “Why can't I just open it now?” “I haven't bought it yet.” — Jackie & Roseanne

93 “And don't you ever feed my dog!” “If I get drunk enough, I'll fight your dog!” — Roseanne

94 “I really don't think it's wise for anyone in this family to be giving away livers.” — Beverly

95 “Say 'I'm not taking any crap from anyone'.” “I am ...” “Stop! It's not 'I am', it's 'I'm'.” “I'm not taking any... do I have to say the C word?” “Yes you do, NAME, because that's the most important word.” “I'm not taking any crap from anyone.” “That was good but are you serving tea, NAME? Get mad and say it.” [louder] “I'm not taking any crap from anyone!” “Good, now personalize it, make it your own.” [louder] “I'm not taking any damn crap from anyone!” — Roseanne & Doris

96 “Hey, where's my 'My other mug is a shot glass' mug?” — Roseanne

97 “Why are you gettin' so mad at me?” “Because you are making me defend NAME.” — Becky & Roseanne

98 “I am not sexist. I'm much too frightened of women to be sexist.” — David

99 “Get me a beer.” “Get it yourself, slob!” — Mark & Darlene

100 “I can't believe you're jealous over this.” “Why not? It's very typical of me.”

#roseanne quotes #roseanne prompts #dialogue prompts #writing prompts #roseanne conner #dan conner #darlene conner #dj conner #becky conner #mark healy #david healy #jackie harris #beverly harris #quaratine sucks and making these keeps my mind busy #i live in covid 19 hell

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