#I love making ppl cry (did I succeed?)

[somewhereincairparavel]

Percy this. Percy that. It was always about Percy Jackson. All the fucking time. 

It was always about the Hero of Olympus, the one who defeated Kronos and led the battle of Manhattan, the one who was offered immortality by the king of the gods himself, the one who restored glory to Rome by returning the golden eagle, the one who became praetor of the Roman camp in 2 weeks with limited training. 

His Roman camp. Jason Grace's Roman camp.

Percy Jackson had pulled off everything in 2 weeks that Jason Grace wasn't able to accomplish despite dedicating his whole life for duty. 11 years of blood, sweat and tears, simply gone down the drain.

Jason had failed his camp. He had failed his home. Turns out, he wasn't as great as the people of Rome had once preached about him. It was obvious considering the less than warm welcome he had gotten from his so-called “home”. 

He received no hugs, no cheers, no “we missed you jason!”, no “I was so worried about you!” or even a single pat on the arm by his “friend” Dakota. Dakota and Gwendolyn hadn't even spared a glance at him.

Nothing. Instead, this new Jackson boy was held up to worship like a god amongst the people who once considered Jason a “hero”.

Jason laughed bitterly. Was it selfish of him to be disappointed with Reyna? With a pang, he got to know that Reyna hadn't sent a single search party out to look for her “best friend”. Not like Annabeth did for Percy, not like Thalia did for Percy.

With a pang, he got to know that the whole camp basically deemed him as ‘dead’ and Reyna hadn't even set up a memorial of remembrance for him. The camp had simply moved on with their new hero. Without a single shred of thought for Jason Grace. 

The forgotten Hero. The lost hero. Jason Grace.

These thoughts of doubt gnawed on Jason's mind, slowly eating him up ever since he'd first seen Percy Jackson in those damned praetor togas that once belonged to him. 

He didn't dislike the boy, of course not, it wasn't Percy's fault that Hera wiped their memories or switched camps.

 But it was hard for Jason to not resent him, or feel even the tiniest amount of envy, knowing that Reyna willingly replaced him with Jackson. Very quickly too, at that. He overheard Octavian blabbing to his lackeys about how Reyna “was head over heels for Percy almost immediately” 

“I guess that's it. Maybe I am someone who is easy to replace.” Jason thought, his eyes pricking as he looked over from the flying ship, at the place he once used to call home. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason watched remorsefully as Thalia, Grover, Percy and Annabeth were all gathered at the table in camp half blood, cracking jokes about dam french fries or whatever that meant.

Thalia caught Jason's eyes, staring at all of them from a distance. She smiled softly, and gave him a tiny wave. He weaved his lips into something that was meant to look like a wry smile, but it came out as a slight grimace, as he waved back.

Thalia was so close to Jason, yet so far away.

He knew she loved him, but it felt different. And an annoying, nagging part of Jason had known that Thalia would never be as close to him as she was to Annabeth or Percy. 

Ironic isn't it? Jason and Thalia were always connected since they came from the same womb, yet she was closer to Annabeth, a girl she'd found after she had run away from the same woman that had given Jason to the wolves. The same woman who had turned his life upside down by abandoning him. 

Thalia had found Annabeth right after she thought she had lost Jason. In a strangely ironic way, Jason felt like he'd been replaced all over again.

Thalia had replaced Jason as a younger sibling with Annabeth without even realizing it, all of this took place mere months after a baby Jason was considered to be dead. This situation had strangely reminded him of Camp Jupiter, how he was replaced by Percy right after Jason was considered “dead” by Camp Jupiter.

This made Jason reach the possibility that if he were indeed “dead”, he wouldn't be missed. People wouldn't bat an eyelash. Since there was always someone better than him. Someone like Percy Jackson, who could easily fill the void Jason would leave behind.

His eyes watered, as he looked at how much fun his sister had with his friends. Knowing full well, that he'd never be able to do the same.

Jason felt ashamed that he had to ask Percy about Thalia’s likes and dislikes, he was thalia’s brother. He was supposed to know.

Jason watched as Thalia quickly hugged the trio, as she left their table to leave with the hunters, not even realizing that there was one person whom she forgot to hug.

Don't take it personally. Don't take it personally. She just forgot. She doesn't hate you. She just forgot. She doesn't prefer Percy over you. She's in a hurry. That's why she forgot. Jason repeated that like a mantra, the only person he was trying to convince was himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And he rejected immortality!- oh you should've seen Zeus' face!” Annabeth exclaimed to Hazel excitedly, as Percy was blushing at the compliment fountain being poured at him by Hazel and Annabeth.

Jason had always been fascinated by that story, the almighty Percy Jackson getting offered to become a god, by Zeus.

His father. Jason's father, Zeus. 

Jason felt stupid and guilty for getting envious, it's not the fact that Percy had been offered immortality, no. Jason couldn't care less about being immortal. It was the person who offered Percy invincibility that bothered Jason so much. 

Jason knew that even if he went to the ends of the world to accomplish something, his father wouldn't be able to praise him or even talk to him for a long time. 

Zeus and Jason could never be like Hades and Nico, or Poseidon and Percy. That's just how it is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reyna had come to camp half blood for a fun visit. Jason would've been ecstatic in other circumstances, but in this case, he wanted to be as far away from her as possible. Because currently, Reyna seemed to be looking at everyone, but refused to meet Jason's eyes. She seemed to keep her distance as she laughed at something Percy and Piper were saying. 

She may as well have just stabbed him, it would've hurt a lot less. 

He had truly been naive to believe that he could make amends with Reyna. Now he knew, it would never be possible. There was too much pain mixed with bitterness on both ends. But seeing her get along with Percy reminded him of the old times of friendship he and Reyna had shared. Keyword: had.

Once again, the fates had shown him that Percy Jackson would always be better. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Jason Grace lay on the cold floor, coughing out blood. He realized he was alone, he was dying, but he was alone.

Like always. The sickly voice of Gaia, that had once haunted his nightmares, boomed in his head. Jason knew he was hallucinating as a result of blood loss, Gaia is in deep slumber. But that did not stop the voice in his head that was invented by his insecurities. Even in the end, you've been forgotten, Jason Grace. Because that's what you will always be. The second best. The leftover. The pawn who is discarded, after his purpose has been fulfilled. Percy Jackson would always be better in everyone's eyes. 

To the Romans, you are simply the one who betrayed his lineage. But Percy is the one who restored glory. He did your job for you.

To the Greeks, you are simply a burden, one whom they were forced to welcome.

To your father, you are merely one of his many sons. 

To your sister, you are a stranger.

Jason's resolve to live had weakened, hot tears were streaming down his face as he closed his eyes in defeat, he had come to the painful conclusion that nobody is going to come find his body. Nobody is going to mourn him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh I will always be much better than you at this! Bring it on, dude!” Percy laughed as he striked his play sword lightsaber at Jason's. They clashed. 

“You wish, Jackson!” Jason shot back jokingly, as they sparred playfully with toy lightsabers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jackson, you jerk. You were right after all, you will always be much better than me” Jason laughed bitterly, as he recalled that memory of his sparring session with Percy.

 Suddenly everything went black. The life had successfully ebbed out of him.

Little did Jason know, was that someone had indeed come to look for him. Tempest, his Pegasus had come to retrieve his body, but Jason was long gone. People had indeed mourned him. His friends were, indeed, anguished. His sister was, indeed, heartbroken.

Jason's soul parted this world, with the knowledge that he'd always be The forgotten Hero. 

The lost hero. Jason Grace.

#Here's Jason's internal turmoil fic I was talking about in my poll 👀 #I hope this was angsty enough ugh #I love making ppl cry (did I succeed?) #pjo #pjo fandom #percy jackson #jason grace #pjo hoo #pjo series #pjo hoo toa #annabeth chase #piper mclean #leo valdez #pjo headcanon #pjo fanfiction #pjo fanfic #heroes of olympus #percy jackson headcanon #percy jackon and the olympians #reyna avila ramirez arellano #hazel levesque #frank zhang #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 writer

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[totallysora]

West Side Story (2021)

I HAVE SM TO SAY ABT THIS MOVIE IT’S UNREAL 😭 Ok so I finally decided to watch it for the first time in like,,early January and it has actually changed me 😭 IT WAS SO GOOD?? LIKE THE CASTING WAS JUST MWAH I LOVED IT SM 😕 Anyways here are some of the things (from what I can remember, I haven’t actually had time to rewatch it since 😔) that I loved about it!

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!!

The jets were amazing, fight me

Ik that’s kinda controversial cuz they’re horrible people, and yes I absolutely get that, and do not support their actions at all (If ur a jets apologist pls leave 🥰) but GOD THE CASTING?? UGH IT WAS JUST SO PERFECT 😭 All of their songs were literally so good?? The Jet song is unfairly catchy, and Gee, Officer Krupke?? It was actually magical (THIS IS WHY WE CAST BWAY ACTORS IN MUSICAL MOVIES PEOPLE 😻‼️)

That scene with Anita?? It honestly made my blood boil, which is actually like,,the best thing ever?? Ik that sounds horrible but I mean it in a way that if a scene is meant to make you feel disgusted, or completely angry, and it succeeds?? That’s how u know it was good acting

On the topic of the Jets, MIKE FAIST?? UM HELLO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HE WAS PERFECT CASTING IT’S UNREAL

I struggle to differentiate between actors and characters, so the whole rumble scene was a lil bit of a mess for me at first cuz I adore Mike sm, however when I thought abt it more, and how Riff acted, I was able to think of him as Riff, not Mike, and realised holy shit yea he actually kinda deserved what happened to him yk

THE RUMBLE OML 😭 THE ACTING WAS JUST SO UGH I LOVED IT SM - Unliked in the 1961 version (which I haven’t actually watched but have seen clips of!) you could actually tell it was like,,serious yk?? And when Riff got stabbed?? Holy fuck the emotion in that scene was unreal

Also the way David and Ansel acted straight after it happened?? I kinda got a ‘I didn’t actually want to kill him’ kinda feel from Bernardo, and honestly I kinda felt for him man 😭

I love the way that this rlly showed why Tony was the leader of the Jets, the way he beats Bernardos ass?? You can see why he led such a strong gang

Completely unrelated but the fact that this whole thing was basically a newsies reunion 💀

like Mike, Kyle, Jess, BEN? GARRETT?? THE TWINS???

I will forever adore the casting tho like honestly it was so good

Also the Sharks were robbed of screen time Icl 😭 They deffo should’ve been on screen more man

RACHEL MF ZEGLER 😻‼️ The fact that this was her debut will literally never not shock me

Like this girl was 17 and could sing like that?? No wonder ppl love her sm like damn 😭

People can actually fight me on this but Ansel was such good casting for Tony

I’ve seen people bash him for it but he was literally so good?? Like sorry but I refuse to accept anyone else (obviously excluding bway lmao)

On the topic of Tony the ending actually made me cry?? Like I was fine untik they picked him up and started carrying him after he got shot 😭

Icl halfway through the movie I googled if anyone died so I was prepared for it to happen but doesn’t mesn I didn’t still cry 😕

ARIANA DEBOSE 😻‼️ HER ANITA WAS SO PERFECT OML 😭 LITERALLY NO ONE CAN BEAT HER SHE WAS SO GOOD ITS UNREAL

ALSO DAVID‼️ I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE DONT FOCUS ON HIM ENOUGH LIKE CMON HE WAS SO GOOD??

RITA MONERO 🥰 She was in the og movie and I am so glad they got her back cuz she was a m a z i n g

Also the fact that she sung her song live?? Cmon man she’s so good

Ok so Josh Rivera 😻 Although I didn’t rlly like Chino at first he definitely grew on me the more I thought about it - Ik killing Tony could be considered extreme, but realistically?? I totally get where he came from, it was an incredibly difficult situation, and I can understand why he did what he did

THE CHOREOGRAPHY ‼️‼️ LITERALLY WHO CHOREOGRAPHED THIS MOVIE IT WAS SO GOOD?? THE WHOLE THING WAS FILLED WITH AMAZING CHOREOGRAPHY AND IT WAS JUST SO 😫 If I could marry that choreography I would

Ok but the singing in general?? Like Ik they wouldn’t cast bad singers but be fr literally all of the songs slap

Ik I’ve said it before but I will say it as many times as I need to THIS IS WHY WE CAST BWAY (OR THEATRE) ACTORS IN MUSICAL MOVIES 👏👏

The soundtrack is actually so good tho like I pretty much wouldn’t skip any of it

Ok completely random but I couldn’t understand half of the movie 💀 cuz they spoke spanish and although I had subtitles on it just gave me the spanish in spanish subtitles, so half of the time I was guessing or just hoping I’ll get what’s going on 😭

If u couldn’t tell I cannot speak spanish (and tbh I’m not doing that well in it at school so 😔)

There is so so so much more I can say about this movie, and once I’ve posted this I will definitely plan a part 2 specifically focusing on the songs, and a part 3 on characters (possibly in the opposite order tho) because this movie was a m a z i n g and I could actually talk about it for h o u r s

#west side story 2021 #west side story movie #west side story #musical theatre #broadway #theatre #musicals #musical movies #rachel zegler #ok but the fact this was rachels debut is crazy #ansel elgort #david alvarez #josh rivera #mike faist #ariana debose #the jets #the sharks #rita moreno #riff west side story #tony west side story #maria west side story #bernardo west side story #anita west side story #this movie is so iconic #I could actually talk about it for so long it’s so good

[burningvelvet]

on percy shelley & human connection & coping through art

to set the mood of this post i must say i'm writing it really quickly on my phone over a bowl of pasta with bread & broccoli & some orange flavored sparkling water & im still dressed in my outdoor wintery clothes (all black, knee boots, wool, silver chains & rings, although i mostly prefer gold jewelry).

so anyway today i've been kind of sad over ppl not replying to my texts & my usual reaction is to say "ok, guess i'll kms, wah wah, cry cry" but this sort of passively cynical joking schtick has gotten old & i would rather occupy myself some other way instead of moping about failed connections or the difficulty of initiating contact with anyone or the struggles of modern socialization as a whole.

instead, i will read the works of percy shelley tonight, and think about how he struggled with all of this over 200 yrs ago. of how hard he struggled to make leigh hunt and lord byron collaborate with him on their journal the liberal, and how he struggled all his life to build a positive community even in spite of years of bullying, ostracization, and family strife - he often felt like giving up, and like human connection was impossible, but he never gave in to apathy and instead he continuously curated his ideal life by seeking out other like-minded people, even when he occasionally embarrassed himself in public or when others were decidely averse to him or lukewarm in their reception. john keats didn't entirely take to him when they met and some of keats' friends straight-up disliked percy for being weird, but percy (though scarcely knowing him) loved keats as a brother-poet nonetheless, was generous to him, wrote one of his masterpieces in his favor, and died with a copy of his poems in his pocket.

percy always reached out to others and was a loyal friend even when others disrespected him or ignored him or just simply didnt love him as much as he did them. his letters to lord byron show how reverent he was to his friend, and how his affection was never returned in quite the same gusto, but, while still trying to keep his self-respect, percy quelled his frustrations and continued his correspondence with byron regardless. percy acted as the mediator between byron and claire even when his stress was so high it weighed heavily on his health. he actively tried to choose to be positive even when the people around him were negative or miserable. like most writers back then, he sent his writing to his idols, and sought mentorship from people he admired, like william godwin and leigh hunt, and he continued to respect them even when they took advantage of him financially (moreso in godwin's case).

anyway what i mean to say is that whenever im feeling lonely or rejected or alienated or socially stupid or am just second-guessing my role in society or whatever whatever whatever, i cling to creativity/art/literature/etc. even harder than i regularly do, because thats what it exists for.

i knew a therapist (not one i saw as a patient, but someone i knew through mutual interests in media/the arts) who said that a certain musical performance we both loved probably saved way more lives than any single therapist ever has. - the performance in question was david bowie's tokyo 1990 live recording of rock n roll suicide, an anti-suicide song (its available on youtube, go watch it lol, he performs it with so much conviction).

any way even though at the end of his life shelley sometimes felt like he was failing to achieve his dream of building a utopian art commune - he actually did succeed in introducing several people to each other in ways that changed peoples lives. his friends jane williams and thomas jefferson hogg got married only through his mutual friendship. whole literary societies have been started in his honor - to this day there are conferences & whatnot that meet annually - his life & writing continues to inspire people and bring them comfort - & he would be extremely proud of that - any artist would. the main goal of any famous dead writer is basically to become the imaginary friend of their future readers & he accomplished that - even though all the time he was wracked with doubt/depression/suicidality/illness/chronic pain, etc. - as a political/philosophical radical, he realized that having hope is one of the most influential & radical things one can do - & i'm glad that, even though this is a person who died over 200 yrs ago, there is at least one person who really resonates with me - even though we're from different centuries, different continents, different sexes, etc. - it's helpful to have positive influences to look up to, especially when they've also struggled in similar ways as you. and although shelley was pretty privileged (rich englishman) he really did struggle a lot mentally & physically - his life was a chaotic mess - and he wasn't perfect at all - but i think he's still inspirational for my previously mentioned reasons - his ceaseless hope. the last poem he was working on was titled the triumph of life, even though he wrote it during a deep depression. the last poem he published in his lifetime was hellas, which he hoped would raise money for the cause of greek war of independence. from the poem:

"Life may change, but it may fly not;

Hope may vanish, but can die not;

Truth be veiled, but still it burneth;

Love repulsed, — but it returneth!"

#percy bysshe shelley #percy shelley #me #? #ramblings #my writing #art #literature #socializing #thoughts #hopepunk #that was shelley #tw suicide mention #opinions #essays #poetry #social anxiety

[blonditarot]

That's the prblm you know ppl be judging there performance on basis on clips uploaded by user who was just waiting to find something to nitpick on them only because their fav group wasn't the one invited 😂 discrediting their hardwork all because of tht 14 secs is so wrong. And there are other girl groups who can do hard choreos and sing i doubt it it's easy in korea because AR is used which helps idol big time.these girls were performing there with absolutely no backtrack on week 1 prblm is you don't know what live singing is..it's not gonna be perfect and we are humans not robots which some of u think idols are.. Coachella is literally festival to enjoy music and have fun not critics who judge them for singing and the main focus is on stage presence , hyping the crowd and vocals ofcurs which girls did succeed cuz when this kpop stans were dragging girls the actual ppl who attended came to defend them and supported them as week 2 crowd was even bigger thn week 1 ..they have ability to attract massive crowd hype them and give them good performance.. Maybe other idols would be good vocally but i doubt they would be able to pull the crowd n do it the way girls did ofcurs bp excluded..And they did even improve a lot on week 2 cuz there was nothing to nitpick on them for haters but ofcurs they blamed backtrack which was used by just almost everyone performing including lana sabrina n bp too used it..Like kpopstans be saying to use backtrack on week 1 and then when they do use it for week 2 ppl be crying abt it..when they were singing it all live and yaa delivering good vocals tooHope ppl don't judge idols on mere secs of mistk and if you want perfect idol stan ai idols then..ppl be believing the edited videos and not actually watching the performance and then forming their narrative.

Bae I think you’re misunderstanding me

1. Believe me or not I know what live singing is

2. I know people aren’t robots. We all make mistakes but it’s our job to fix those mistakes so they don’t happen again

3. When people pay you money, you no longer do it for fun. You can have fun on stage because you are doing exactly what you love but now it’s your profession. When I pay for something I expect you will serve me breakfast, lunch and dinner

And when did I say I’m mad at them? Or that I don’t want them to attract a bigger crowd and entertain people. The ability to attract a crowd and sing are two different things

I said they should improve in singing. I’m not mad at them. It’s not me you should come after

And I’m gonna say it again. It’s great that the second week went better for them than the last. I am in the team girl shut up all the haters’ mouths and make them regret their life decisions. But to do that they have to work on their vocals. That’s not hate or spreading misinformation. That’s the truth

Because having a great stage presence and serving live vocals is the goal

[twicearoundthesun]

ohh the anxiety asks have me thinking about dahyun growing up to really dislike mina's parents because of how they treat mina when she knows that mina is one of the best ppl in the world. she looks at mina like she hung the stars in the sky🥺🥺 -💜

Yesss i can definitely see it.

And I can maybe see it starting young - like, six year old Dahyun crying her eyes out when they’re going to see Mr. and Mrs. Myoi because she remembers that one time last year where Mrs. Myoi made Mina cry. Eleven year old Dahyun refusing to talk through the rest of a family dinner because Mina’s dad made a mean comment about how Mina’s still not married. Sixteen year old trying to avoid visiting them as much as she can. She isn’t really a kid to blatantly disrespect her elders, but she can totally tell how small they make Mina feel and she hates it.

Eventually Mina has to sit down with her and explain like, she really appreciates how protective Dahyun is, but Mina needs to be the one to handle her parents. Explains how family relationships can be very tricky, but she chooses to have a relationship with them despite this, because she loves them. Dahyun doesn’t have to have a relationship with them, but she needs to at least be respectful around them and let some of her anger for them go. Mina’s parents were probably raised by rich, high-society douchebags who really stressed the importance of protecting their image and their money and that’s hard to break. Not an excuse for trying to micromanage Mina’s life and putting her under a lot of stress to succeed, but definitely explains where it comes from.

I think after the Myois figure out Mina’s been lying to them and they have that huge fight, once everyone’s cooled down, they try to be better. They try to keep in mind that Mina is an adult who can make her own decisions; hell, she’s been making decisions for herself and raising three babies for the past few years. They’re not perfect, and still pretty intense people who put a lot of pressure on her (which is why dahyun really doesnt like them), but they trust her judgement a little more now. They start to be a part of the babies’ lives and they obviously love them and sorta realize Mina did the right thing and they were wrong to tell her to cut ties.

That being said, Mina lays some ground rules: Under no circumstances are her parents allowed to pressure the kids or make any negative comments about the clothes they wear or their hobbies or their life choices or career choices or anything they micromanaged Mina for. Her parents are surprisingly good at at least respecting how they’re choosing to raise the babies.

#this got long and off topic #did it even make sense ??? #sorry im so burnt out but thank you for the thought !!! #💜anon #:) #ask #baby smc au

[haemosexuality]

FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET I MEAN IT!!!!!!!

im ab to rewatch it at home and ill be writing what i think during it

im not gonna be talking ab stuff i already said in my other post lol

the FIRST SCENE is already fucking visceral dude. like they dont show any gore or anything but damn the fucking. aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA ITS GOOD its so good. also the previous security guard does exactly the same thing mike does later own to try to escape the freddy mask but mike succeeds and he doesnt, which is kinda like how in game phone guy (previous security guard) goes through the same process we do but we/mike survives and he doesnt. cool!!

THE INTRO WITH THE MINIGAME STYLE... DUDE. DUDE. I LOVE THIS MOVIE ITS A LOVE LETTER FOR THE FANS FR I WAS SO HYPE WITH EXCITEMENT I ALMOST STARTED CRYING IN THE THEATER. ALSO ITS JUST FUCKING COOL LOOKING

the rainbow!!!!! in the coffee shop scene!!! its the fnaf world rainbow!!

see the movie has the scene where william reads the name michael schmidt and pauses and long time fans will prob be like aha is that william realizing this is his son. but no thats where it tricks you bc hes actually just realizing this is a relative of that kid he kidnapped a while ago. which like obviously cuz why would william realize this guys his son by reading his, fake name?? but confirmation bias or smth

I WAS SO SHOCKED BY SEEING MATPAT THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THAT I DIDNT CATCH HIM SAYING "THATS JUST A THEORY". OH MY FUCKING GOD DUDE

🎶It's getting lonely, it's getting hard to breathe

The arcade's empty, I think it's Christmas Eve

Someone's broken in, now they're painting on my skin

Breaking me and taking my quarters

Bashing in my face with a crowbar

Kicking me and pushing me over

Now they see my blood on their sneakers🎶

i am so jealous of the midnight motorist shirt its not even funny

my complain is that how did none of the animatronics have blood on them after brutally killing several ppl. come on!!!

me hearing the words "follow me" on a fnaf movie: holy shit is this a motherfucking fnaf reference?!?!?

oh my god that totally is the fucking fake dog animatronic

oh my god they dont actually swear in the og. she said "what in the heck" but portuguese translated that to what the fuck. incredible. amazing.

"i know what crazy looks like, mike. this isnt it" OH. OH

vanessas behavior was already pretty understandable without the extra context but knowing shes williams daughter makes it JUICY. ooo yeah baby gimme the trauma gimme the guilt

the scene with the animatronics and abby being besties felt a bit too ooc at first to me and ive heard that other people felt the same but as i think more about it it does kinda make sense. one of the main differences from the game is that in this the ghost kids' minds seem to be pretty intact? or like they can think theyre fully conscious etc so. i can see them wanting to do kid stuff. and i saw someone point out that they were actively trying to get abbys trust too so they could convince her to 'join them' (bc afton was somehow influencing them to be #evil) so, theres that. and either way it doesnt take away from the overall experience so who cares

the tv scenes were such a missed oportunity they couldve shown the immortal and the restless... i kept waiting for it :(

oh my god the airplane. i just realized she had garretts toy airplane bc william gave it to her after he killed him oh my god i feel sick

the ball pit wasnt even time travelling 0/10

i didnt watch the credits long enough in the theater to hear the COME FIND ME but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA dude

yeah so good. i fucking loved this

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers

[boop-le-snoot]

hot takes that'll get me hate mail part ??:

people complaining about bucky being forced to make amends for being mind-controlled & loki getting called a narcissist fail to realise that that is exactly how it is in real life.

in a perfect world, people around you realise that sometimes we are forced to do "bad" things / do bad things as a direct consequence of bad circumstances. in a perfect world, the "scapegoat" child finds a way to push back and succeeds against all the baseless accusations of their narc parent.

we do not live in a perfect world. irl, they would get treated exactly like they got treated on their shows, if not worse tbh. the very same "woke" ppl on here woulda been the first in line to "cancel" bucky and loki.

and yes, i realize that most of the outrage comes from people who relate to bucky/loki & just want to vicariously live out their fantasy of finally being absolved of guilt and feel free of the flying monkeys of their narc parents/relatives. but life ain't fair.

also, when wanda said the Sentence that got Everyone to Throw a Fit: she was right. I love Stephen and I love Wanda.

Stephen is a dumbass that broke the rules several times (Dormammu helloo) and all of y'all crying "bUt He DiDnT eNdAnGeR tHe UnIvErSe" - yes he did. On several occasions. And I don't know what kind of flavor of internalized misogyny you have to have to not realize that he got away with it whilst Wanda was demonized for having a grief-induced mental breakdown.

#tw controversial #feeling argumentative might commit vandalism

[bondsmagii]

so a while back I was talking about extensive blacklists and somebody messaged to see if I wanted screenshots of a very impressive blacklist from an old Discord server they were in. of course, I did. here are the aforementioned screenshots as promised -- naturally the person wishes to remain anonymous, but here’s what they said:

hello, t'was i who was your Long Blacklist anon. here's what i have, or at least what i have scraped from the sides of my massive screenshots folder

to note: in the first image, in the section "TSS specific", the Remus mentioned is one of the characters in the show that the server is about,  whether he's secondary or main is up for debate. like. a WHOLE CHARACTER

some of these are understandable honestly, i don't mind a lot of this, but i had forgotten "y'all" was on here and. i'm sure that was probably said about 500 times in there because. how do you. IT'S Y'ALL

I gotta admit that I was not expecting this to be so wild. I had no idea an entire regional accent would be on here; nor could I have anticipated the fact that the whole of Ohio State University would be a banned topic, but there you go.

full transcription under the cut, for which you owe me, because this is long.

USER SPECIFIC

Recording <@!412026064970186753>’s voice without permission

Pet names directed at @‘beat drop’ A Jumbo Jellyfish

Referring to @rrationality in the feminine, “kiddo” directed at by anyone but Patton

“Tinker bell” or the phrase “I just want you to succeed” directed at @Groundhog badger

Deleting messages from @JEYKSHK without informing first

“Kitten” directed at @jelly 

“Know-it-all” directed at @The Rat God Summons Thee, asking to roleplay, people fighting in earshot, interacting while under the influence of any substances

Patronising and/or directing “cute” nicknames (smol, baby, dear, etc.) at @arson, overly aggressive conpliments (heart spamming, etc.)

“Princess”/“Champ”/“Sweetheart”/“Buddy” directed at @Silverquill (She/Her)

“Sweetie”/“honey”/“babe” and other pet names directed at @let airam see fuck without permission

“Hun”/“love” directed at @Ren 

“you’re acting like ___” and “very nice” directed at @probably activism, venting privately without warning/asking

“Dumb”/“stupid”/“idiot”, etc. directed at @blurryeyesinbewilderment 

“Selfish”/“worthless” directed at @Safira 

Calling attention to/making fun of the typos of @one of the best ppl here tbh

Referring to @It ya boy idk in the feminine, mocking

Referring to @I’m gonna shine like the sun as a hypochondriac

Referring to @Currently Committing Tax Fraud as argumentative

TSS SPECIFIC [translator’s note: this is an abbreviation for The S*nders Sides-- the fandom the server is about. I censor this because I do not care for him and do not wish to type his accursed name.]

Any discussion (including mentions), images, gifs and links involving Remus, and ships where he is included

The phrase “have you ever thought about killing your brother?” [translator’s note: this entire phrase was blacked out behind censor bars.]

Unsympathetic portrayals of the Sides (being villainous, abusive, (passive) aggressive, restrictive, etc.)

Ships involving the Sides and Sleep

Romantic Prinxiety

Intruality

Romantic logicality 

Snitties (tumblr post)

CenThomas (tumblr post)

TOPICS

Tangerines

Depersonalisation and depersonification

Divorce

Being controlled/your actions not being your own (including mind control)

Bullying (in a non-joking context)

Burning buildings and house fires

Belittling serious issues

Zombies

Existential issues (such as questioning reality)

Claustrophobic (small) spaces

Being patronised

Puppets

Bad parental relationships

Narcissistic people

Ohio State University

Annesia/mind-wiping

Bernie Sanders (US Politician)

Hell (discussion of)

Anesthesia

Fasting (for religious reasons or otherwise)

Unhappy endings

Power outages

Directing “stupid” at another person

Southern or Texan accents

Cringe culture

Spiders

Heights

The concept of pure nothingness

POC being stereotypes as promiscuous

Conflating age regression with age play [translator’s note: ‘age play’ was blacked out behind censor bars.]

Condiments (ketchup, mustard, etc.)

Malevolent of morbid supernatural entities

Food dicourse

Roanoke (the historical colony)

Self-depreciation

Heated discussions

Major character death

Hanahaki disease

Ants (the insect)

Eye lip eye (sequence of emojis)

Realistic-looking teeth on non-human things

Teeth in any place but a mouth

Human trafficking

Worms

OTHER MEDIA

The son “Sing me to sleep” by Alan Walker

Creepypasta (all forms)

The song “Hide and seek” by SeeU

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared (webseries)

The song “Last christmas” by Wham!

Heathers (movie and musical)

The song “Empty” by boyinaband

The song “You should see me in a Crown” by Billie Eilish

The Momo challenge

Stephen King’s It (book and movies)

The song “Bury a friend” by Billie Eilish

Undertale and Delta Rune (video games)

The song “Wish you were gay” by Billie Eilish

The song “Ocean eyes” by Billie Eilish

Sora from Kingdom Hearts (video games)

Scooby Doo on Zombie Island (movie)

Onward (movie)

WORDS/NAMES/PHRASES

The word “senpai”

The name “Cryptid”

“I see the light”/“I’m going into the light”/“Light at the end of the tunnel”

“A beautiful mind”

“Babe” in a romantic context

“Baby” and “sweetiepie” as pet names

The name “Tristan”

The name “Ana”

The name “Jamie”

The name “William/Will”

“Make yourself useful”

“Y’all”

“Agere” (as a shortform of age regression)

SOUNDS AND VISUALS

Fife music (fife and drum corps)

Loud noises

Spiders and insects

Trypophobic images

“Distant shore” and “It’s all over isn’t it” from Steven Universe

Homestuck (all forms)

Crying while laughing

High saturation/bright images/eyes strain

#long post #submission #anon

[silver-wield]

Cloti Resolution Analysis

So I was sent an ask about analysing the promise scene between Cloud and Tifa, and I completely went to another plane of existence and did the Resolution instead. Oh well, enjoy the breakdown and I’ll get to bby Tifa and Cloud another time.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a VERY long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Ok, recapping for anyone who hasn't seen this yet.

We begin with Cloud waking, having heard someone leaving the house. He checks, it's not Barret, so he goes out to investigate and spies Tifa staring at the night sky.

Now from this there's actually an unmentioned possibility Cloud decides Tifa doesn't want company and leaves. This obviously doesn't happen because he's developed his character to the point where he'd put himself out for someone else and find out what's wrong. The point I’m making is that Cloud is that guy who’d say “Not interested” and leave, but because he cares about Tifa, he stays. 

Right away we get hints of concern on his face. Obviously, with everything they just went through and all the people they lost he's expecting something along those lines when he asks if she can't sleep. The head tilt that goes with this has echoes of chapter 3 when he invites Tifa to share her worries, only this time she's got her back to him so can't see it.

Tifa, for her part, isn't very forthcoming. She's quite closed off, almost unwilling to open up and talk. She's probably come out because – as she said – she can't sleep and didn't actually intend for Cloud to follow. She apologises for waking him. There was no intent on her part to force a confidence between them. We can't even see her eyes until she replies, which is intentional on the framing to further express her being closed off. Remember, eye contact matters and a lack of eye contact with the audience means she's hiding from us too.

Damn it, she's so clearly cut up but trying to hold it together here it breaks my heart! I'm trying to figure out if her eyes are already swollen from repressing the urge to cry or if it's my imagination. Either way, she's distracted. She's not focused on Cloud or the conversation that much. A distant, polite answer from her is likely meant to hint she's not up for a chat, which is why I love that Cloud doesn't leave. She needs comforting and he's aware of that.

Demoralised tone of voice. Keeps her back to him. Head bowed. She's totally in her own head at this point and having woken Cloud up is just another black mark. She wanted to be alone and wallow, but she can't even do that right. So, when Cloud brushes it off and even goes so far as to make a light-hearted joke – yes him saying it's a SOLDIER thing isn't about him drawing attention to the fact he's succeeded with that part of their promise, he's capable enough to protect her – he's saying it to lower her guard, and that's why she laughs. It's the opening he needs to encourage her to talk so he can find out what's wrong.

Ah, the moment people think this scene is all about Aerith. Excuse me while I roll my eyes.

Now, remember, in the previous glimpse of her we saw she had her head bowed. She's not looking at the stars anymore like she would when recalling her and Cloud's promise. She's looking down at the flowers. The same type of flower that Cloud gave her and she put on the counter in Seventh Heaven. This is why she brings up Aerith because she's the flower seller.

We're shown her feet at this point because she's turning. Cloud's little joke has opened her up enough that she believes she can face him. She can confide in him. She asks about the flower not because she's all about Aerith, but because the flower was in Seventh Heaven: her home. And what is the reason she's out there in the first place? Why can't she sleep? Because she just saw everything she holds dear crushed, literally. She watched Biggs and Jessie die – ok we know better but she doesn't. She let Aerith get kidnapped by Shinra and almost got Marlene killed too – yes, she's definitely the type to blame herself for this too. She's lost friends – who knows how many? There's death and fire and it's all because of Shinra, again.

Ah the other moment people believe makes this all about Aerith. That isn't a “I got caught with another woman” look of guilt. That's an “I lied to you,” guilty look because, if you remember, back when Cloud gave Tifa the flower she said, “What's up with you, buying flowers?” and he said, “A guy can change,” making her believe he'd purposely sought out Aerith to buy a flower for Tifa. Obviously, he doesn't want to contradict himself while she's in a heightened state, so he's all “uhhh.” That's an “I don't know what to say so this doesn't hurt her,” look.

Tifa awkwardly laughs it off. Poor thing, her misconception about Cloud's thoughtfulness is shattered without him having to say a word. Putting a brave face on it, but she's disappointed. And that's not because she thinks she's “lost” to Aerith, but she thought something of Cloud that wasn't right. She thought their relationship had moved on more at that point, which further supports the subsequent intimate moments between them. Now, she's wondering if anything she knew is right.

And that is clear disappointment that he didn't actually do it on his own initiative. Regret hits hard when it comes, right, Cloud?

It goes on with Tifa explaining she looked up the meaning of the flower – now we don't know when, but it's safe to assume it's around the time of the reactor 5 mission when Cloud goes missing. She likely got back to Seventh Heaven, spotted the flower, linked its importance to Cloud and then looked up the meaning. When she saw it symbolised reunion, she did everything she could to keep it alive as a symbol of hope they'd meet again. They'd be reunited. It isn't symbolising anything to do with Aerith. The reason she even brings it up is because of where they are. It's the location that prompts the association.

Now, remember, Tifa has lived through a massive tragedy once before. She literally lost everyone in Nibelheim. It's stated in other media that Shinra rounded up survivors and gave them to Hojo – they became numbered experiments or died. Tifa is the only survivor and she only made it out because her teacher, Zangan, found her. It's also implied that anyone else from Nibelheim was tracked down and killed to silence them after Shinra remade the town – so on the off chance that Tifa went to Midgar to find people she knew, she wouldn't find any in the town and when she asked after Cloud at Shinra she was told he went missing, which explains why she says she's so glad to have Cloud back.

When she says the flower is dead and buried, she's relating it not to her relationship with Cloud – I mean he is literally ten feet in front of her listening to her and offering a shoulder to cry on. No, she's relating the flower to the location. She's talking about her home. Where before she linked it to reuniting with Cloud, once she learned about the danger to sector 7 she linked the flower to reuniting with the people most dear to her there. These are people she's known for five years. She's not a callous, unfeeling bitch, who only focuses on herself and some dude she's just got back in touch with. It's clear from NPC dialogue while you're running around that Tifa is very much loved and respected – and crushed on – in the slum. The people love her and she loves them. She wanted them to be safe more than anything. Her entire arc getting back to the sector is filled with panic. Her focus is her home and the hope she finds it and the people safe.

So, now she's saying that hope she clung to, like the flower, is dead.

And there it is, the brave smile that falters. She's trying so hard to not burden anyone because – as Marle says later on – crying is pointless. Remember, Marle is the one who looked after Tifa, which means Marle's mindset is the one Tifa's been exposed to from 15 to 20. Remember, Tifa is only 20 years old. She's not some grizzled warrior, she's a young girl who had to watch her father die, her town get burned to the ground and be left alone. The only survivor. Until Cloud. Marle has taught her it's pointless to cry; Avalanche and everyone in it has told her she needs to be tough and hard and unfeeling if they want to succeed. But, Tifa doesn't want anyone to die. Not her friends or her enemies. She's not got that hard core, no matter how much she acts cool and detached.

And this is the point that Cloud is likely hearing about his home for the first time. We know he was there, but it's one of those memories he's shut out. The reminder is one of the few times he doesn't get a flash of pain, either. That soft exhale of surprise, the eyes widening just a touch. Cloud hadn't thought to relate his past to this event, and likely hadn't related it to Tifa, either. He's shut it out, so expected her to, as well. This is a musing expression. He's thinking about what she just said. It hits him this is where her emotions are focused. She's in the past, and that gives him the chance to think about the past. This is what opens him up to needing comfort just as much as she does, because he's not processed his grief either. They're both stuck in that place where they weren't allowed to mourn the people they loved and all they've lost.

Then we're treated to a reminder of the physical distance between them in this scene – which has been a theme between them since the start. There's physical distance, that closes at times, then widens again, highlighting how they're struggling to find their way back to each other for various reasons. Cloud because he can't fully relate to his feelings for her and Tifa because she's too afraid of losing him to truly open up.

And then Tifa takes those few steps – that seemed to take forever – to meet him. She's looking for comfort from the Cloud she knew. The real Cloud. His expression here is surprise because, well, Tifa's just not like that, remember? She's reserved and self-contained. He wasn't expecting her to do this. He's once again confronted with a woman being forward. Only, it's different this time because it's Tifa and he knows and trusts her and has all these complicated feelings he can't define. He knows part of him – the 14 year old who wants his crush to notice him – is ok with this. It's what he wants. That's why he doesn't move. He wants to offer her comfort, be the strong capable SOLDIER he thought she wanted.

Oh, but look, the dawning realisation he's just as upset as she is. His hard expression wavers, just for a moment, and he looks cut up. He doesn't know if he can be the strong SOLDIER right now because, just as she's processing grief, he is too.

Hearing her sob, really sob, is hard for Cloud to take. Just like in the pillar when Jessie said, “Tifa's crying,” and Cloud lost his cool for a moment and felt like a failure. He couldn't prevent any of it. He let her down. Listening to her cry tugs at the latent feelings he has for her, but he's still so wrapped up in that fake persona of what he thinks he should be that he doesn't know what to offer her in comfort. You can hear a couple of attempts at speech, but ultimately he doesn't say anything.

I wasn't gonna screen this bit, but what the hell.

You can see the hesitation in his movements. He doesn't know if he should hug her. Tifa's hand isn't quite touching Cloud as it moves from his side to his shoulder, but then when he pulls her in close there's full contact between them with no space. I mean, he's holding her tight.

After the pan away to the stream – which is likely a nod to the lifestream scene in the OG – we're back with them and Tifa's calmed down somewhat.

Cloud's distracted. We can only guess what he's thinking about, but considering the conversation they just had it's probably a blank with vague unsettled grief about his past that he can't grab hold of. He knows he can relate with Tifa at that moment. He's hugging her so tight he hurts her. He's hugging so tight because he needs comfort from her just as she does from him. He lost people too. He's so in his own head that he doesn't quite hear her say his name at first, and then I speculate he expected to hear something else besides, “you're hurting me,” if that very soft “hmm?” is anything to go by. His head was in a place where the outcome of their moment was different. Hurt/comfort is a thing after all.

And then there's the “oh shit, I can't even comfort her properly” moment. He's dismayed he hurt her when he was supposed to be helping. That boy with a crush is mortified and the grown ass man isn't much better. He's ruined the intimacy and lack of emotional distance by failing. Again.

But that doesn't mean he won't linger until the last possible second before stepping back again. The downturned mouth, frown and concern are clear. He doesn't think he did very much at all for her. Does he feel guilty about hurting her, not being the man she deserves? Possibly. He definitely looks regretful. Likely thinking what he could've done better. He wasn't much help at all to her.

“It's stupid. I know that crying's a waste of time.”

Ah, here's what he can do for her. His physical comfort missed the mark, but this is something he can do. He can reassure her. Get back some of that emotional closeness between them. And it succeeds. Tifa's gratitude is clear in her tearful smile and heartfelt thank you.

Conclusion.

How romantic is this scene? I hear no one asking cause you all made up your minds well before I even started. Well, from my pov, I'd say it's definitely up there, although it's very heavily rooted in hurt/comfort and relying on their childhood closeness to further their intimacy. But, that's ok because plenty of great couples begin like this and there's usually a moment like this within Final Fantasy narratives.

Rinoa/Squall's Ragnarok scene? There was no kissing in that either, but the emotional intimacy was clear. And Squall is just as big a butthead as Cloud tbf.

Tidus/Yuna laughing scene? Hahaha, I bet you thought I'd mention the lake instead? Well, no because that is clearly intimacy on a different level to this. We're at the developing intimacy stage, and that stage in 10 was them confiding in each other and laughing together.

This is Cloud/Tifa sharing their grief and comforting each other. The scenes parallel. Whether or not this means it's canon is up to you to decide, but combined with all the compilation evidence – yeah, I've heard the latest argument that compilation doesn't count anymore and until it's confirmed by Square I'm not listening – it does heavily suggest that Tifa and Cloud's relationship will continue along this route to the endgame where they confirm their feelings for each other under the Highwind.

#cloti #final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #cloud strife #tifa lockheart #resolution scene #the promise scene actually relates to this too because of the callback to Nibelheim #This is Cloud and Tifa under a night sky sharing intimacies #There's a lot of Tifa's personal motivation and character arc within this #it's multi faceted that's why I love it

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

consider this: izuku doesn’t go to aldera but instead he went to soumei and it’s iideku friends to lovers where iida supports his dream and they train together and tenya tells tensei about it and during the foursome fearsome hangout tensei starts talking about this quirkless kid who’s working hard to be a hero and piques aizawa’s interest and soaodnmxownsosks;;;; C,,,, they’re such beautiful bois I love them;;;;

SJFNKSJRSLMDKL BRO YOURE SUCH AN INTELLECTUAL I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

inko gets mido OUT of aldera bc she finds out abt the extent of the bullying nd she will Not have her boy be tortured like that under her watch

mido kinda protests at first bc he doesnt want to make it a big deal and also what if it’s not any better in another school but inko is determined to try and help him so mido lets her

SOO soumei is a fancy private school but im sure if u can pass the entrance exam with a certain score or higher u can get a scholarship which mido succeeds in doing bc he’s a smart lil bean

anyway so he comes as like a resident nerd bc he’s gotten the highest score in like years. and iida as we all know is always striving for academic excellence so when they end up in the same class he introduces himself RIGHT away like “HELLO!!! I AM IIDA TENYA!!! IT’S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOUR ACQUAINTANCE” mido screams but it’s okay iida apologizes nd mido is like “no its all good u just startled me is all” we love them

ANYWAY so iida invites him to sit w him during lunch nd like ppl r friendly towards iida but theyre not rlly friends w him?? not like super close bc he’s well Iida but also ppl r intimidated cause iida fam stuff

but mido has stars in his eyes and he thinks iida is so cool and iida is so flustered nd flattered HHH babies,,

so they become quick friends nd mido ends the first school week without anyone even asking abt his quirk bc theyre so interested in his nerdiness instead!!! so he’s a lot happier

it does come out tho eventually probably when a teacher implies smth or mido says smth self-deprecating but u know same result. ppl are still nice to mido to his surprise but they treat him like glass which he gets fed up w p quick but he’d rather this than the outright hostility

iida is still his friend tho and he still likes mido and mido is like “ok. ur my favorite person in the whole world.” and like all might is still his favorite but iida is becoming his real hero AH

mido is kinda nervous abt talking abt his dreams to be a hero but iida can just tell like from the way mido talks to him abt any and all things heroes nd how he analyzes quirks iida just knows,,and one day iida is like “u know midoriya-kun i think you’re gonna be a great hero. have u decided which hero school u wanna go to yet?” cause they were talking abt high schools before lunch started

mido YELLS but also hes so flustered bro literally doesnt know how to respond for a solid five minutes he’s just red-faced and like giddy but also like “WAHH WHERE DID THAT COME FROM IIDA-KUN” “DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG??” “NO I- I APPRECIATE IT IM JUST- AHH” they scream. but eventually mido calms down enough to tell him ua and iida is like “OH ME TOO!!!! we can train together!!!” mido is fucking floored

anyway then like u said iida is always talking up a storm abt mido and how he admires him and thinks he’s so cool nd when iida mentions mido is gonna apply to ua, aizawa is like “oh worm?”

aizawa finds mido and after mido finishes screaming hes like “i can help train u kiddo” “AHHH- but wait im gonna train with my friend iida” “i know him he can come too” “AHHHHH” PLEASE BRO IM CRYING,,,

obv throughout all this iida and mido are pining so hard. so fucking hard it’s like painful almost but BRo. aizawa gets to deal with these fucking middle-almost-high-schoolers pussyfooting around each other and blushing at literally everything the other does and hes like “oh my god.”

HHH BUT JUST,,,THEY MAKE IT THROUGH THE ENTRANCE EXAM TOGETHER,,,IIDA GOES W MIDO TO HELP SAVE URARAKA FROM THE ZERO POINTER AND BOTH GET RESCUE POINTS THAT WAY,,,PLEASE

they have a sleepover when the results come in and both r just so excited and so happy. they stay up SO late and mido mightve kissed iida in a sleep-deprived haze but no one’s complaining

they dont rlly TALK about it tho so theyre like dating but not officially and uraraka nd tsu have to say smth like a quarter into their first year like “u guys r so close how long have u been dating” “WE’RE NOT DATING??” “midoriya you literally kissed iida good morning” “THATS JUST WHAT BROS DO?” “midoriya. no. thats kinda gay.”

please this is such a god-tier iideku concept. i am absolutely floored. i owe you my life. please i love them PLEASE this was so good,,,thank you

#THIS GOT SO LONG IM SO SORRY JKDNJKDNJK #iida tenya #midoriya izuku #soumei au #childhood friends au #iideku #c makes a word #answer

[kendrixtermina]

Not sure if you're still doing the ship thing, but if you are, how about dorothea/petra (i forgot their ship name)

Most ppl seem to be referring to it as “doropetra”

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs - Defs one of the nicer options for both of them.Their support chain has them both bonding on how they’re inconvenient for the social order, do fun stuff with their hair, and offer each other a shoulder to cry on, actually has a good balance between plot, feelings and fun. Heck their paired ending is even explicitly romantic so they’re even canon insofar as anything is in a video game with multiple options. Though really Dorothea has such nice dynamics with all the Eagles both for friendship and romance purposes. 

How long will they last? - It would be the sort of relationship that really has a strong foundation because it’s built on friendship and respect, so I can easily see em being married for decades and chilling on an island as old ladies. 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It was definitely a friends-to-lovers slowburn

How was their first kiss? - Dorothea was having a bad day during the war. Petra hugged her to cheer her up. Since there were heightened emotions going on, things kind of escalated

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Dorothea

Who is the best man/men? - Linhardt

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Bernadetta and Manuela. 

Who did the most planning? - I think they’d both do it together and have great fun doing it. they’d also probably have a bridgid-style ceremony. 

Who stressed the most? - Dorothea

How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.  

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - No stuck-up fodlanese nobles (aside from the other Eagles)

Sex:

Who is on top? -  Petra

Who is the one to instigate things? - Dorothea

How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now  (both of them definitely fuck)

How kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head  -  

How long do they normally last? - I think they might be at it a good while

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - yes

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. - 

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.  - All the hugs!

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Probably none, assuming Petra has some cousins etc. who could succeed her. Otherwise they might get one of their guy friends to volunteer as a gene donor. 

How many children will they adopt? - Petra winds up with a lot of kids in many of her endings that explicitly mention them, so I’m thinking 3-4. If we’re on SS then Dorothea would already have some war orphans adopted and would simply bring them with her, Petra becomes a great step-mama and can relate since she lost her own parents in a war. 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Dorothea

Who is the stricter parent? - Petra (But on the rare occasions that Dorothea is mad they all listen to her)

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Dorothea

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Dorothea (I can just see her ending up doing a lot of the domestic stuff/ being a fulltime parent while the kids are smol)

Who is the more loved parent? -  Dorothea

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Dorothea

Who cried the most at graduation? - Dorothea

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Dorothea

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Dorothea

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Petra wouldn’t exactly be picky - but you know that thing where ppl who come from warmer countries just can’t be satisfied with the mushy imported mangoes or other fruit? My mom used to live in the Carribean and only a few years ago did she find anything she would term decent Mango juice for sale here in Europe, and similarly, a lot of my friends from India say that a lot of the eggplants are crap and overpriced. So she might want to go pick out the fruits and vegetables herself to make sure they’re up to standards. 

Who does the grocery shopping? - Petra. See above. (Though perhaps this might reverse once they move to Bridgid. Assuming that Fodlan is roughly like Europe, Dorothea might want to eyeball all the bread wine cheese and sausage before buying)

How often do they bake desserts? - average

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Petra enjoys hunting and definitely makes a point of utilizing everything she catches, so nothing goes to waste. The kids, if applicable,  get plenty of adorable little leather clothes. 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Dorothea. 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Depends on wether that means partying (Dorothea) or just going outside in nature (Petra), but both seem like the sort to have an active social life going 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? -  Dorothea (Neither  would be super likely but Petra probably got used to handling open fires since she was very young.)

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both. 

Who is really against chores? - Neither

Who cleans up after the pets? - Petra

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Dorothea

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Neither, but if its politically important guests Petra would not so much stress but think/plan it all through so it projects the right message. When it’s just their friends they’d both be chill tho. Especially since most of their friends are probably more chaotic than they are

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Petra

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Dorothea

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They’d take turns

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Often (Dorothea might not be a believer but I think she’d enjoy the social aspect od holidays)

What are their goals for the relationship? - To find their happiness and support each other through life

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Petra (I think she says somewhere that she likes to sleep in when she can afford to?)

Who plays the most pranks? - Both but like in a sweet teasing way 

#fe3h #petra mcneary #dorothea arnault #doropetra #fire emblem: three houses

[buns-is-sinning]

The 5th popularity poll results are finally out !!

┏━━━━°⌜ Table of contents ⌟°━━━━┓

• Who did I vote for 'n why?

• Why are the results so different this year?

• What happened to Hawks and Endeavor?

• Shiggy!

• Chara placement explanation

• Poll Artwork

︵୨🎐୧┗━━━━°⌜ 目次 ⌟°━━━━┛୨🎐୧‿

Who did I vote for 'n why? -

Hawks! ..surprisingly. I knew Katsuki would make 1st place anyway (which is what I wanted) but I also wanted hawks to get on the list.

If I'd vote now I'd probably be Shiggy

Why are the results so different this year? -

• My first suspicion was that a lot of new fans started voting ...but it turns out there are actually fewer votes in the top ten this year !

• Maybe people know their actual favorites better by now, so they don't just choose who they liked best in the new season but overall.

• Maybe some charas got hyped or talked about more in events etc. In japan than here.

• I can't say for sure but it's so strange to me. Before this poll there weren't any drastic changes in the polls and most of the votes were comprehensible.

What happened to Hawks and Endeavor? -

• Hawks

↳ The last popularity roll was after he was first introduced . He immediately went on 4th place. I cannot explain to myself how he isn't in the top ten at all now. This is so damn weird .

It's not like he doesn't have fans fangirls he's extremely popular . I was already confused why he isn't getting any official merch by now but now I'm just ｂａｍｂｏｏｚｌｅｄ

• Endeavor

↳ He has been around since the first poll and was never on any spot in the list (1-20) but then in the 4th poll he went to nr.8 . Now he's gone again.

↳ I think this is because of his redemption arc it seemed like he was bettering himself but it became more and more clear that it's not really doing anything w his family.

↳ Another reason might be that we don't have as many interactions of him with Hawks as before ??

Shiggy! -

• AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

• I'm so damn happy ! - he really deserves this after the villain arc etc. ppl respecc and appreciate him a lot more .

• These are his placements from start to finish 19th→16th→15th→24th→6th

↳ Look at that big ass jump!! I think we all know why this happened but I just really needed to share it with y'all!

Character placement explanation

1. Bakugou Katsuki 💢 爆豪勝己

Why ?

↳ In my opinion there are lots of justifiable reasons for him to win and keep winning.

• Personality , character development , entertainment , looks , fangirls , waterfalls

•he is kind of an 'outcast' under the students and heroes . Which is also the reason shigaraki thought he'd be easy to 'convert to the dark side' . What i think is the important point in this is that he doesn't do that. His determination to his goal is what is so inspiring in my opinion.

•He's never afraid to say what he thinks and wouldn't lie either. Brutal honesty is entertaining to watch and sometimes you just want someone to say what you would be afraid to.

I'm sure even if you don't like him you've heard all the reasons why he's likable already, so I'm gonna move on now - If you want me to discuss why , how and what makes him so likable/popular tell me in an ask or the comments!!

Does he deserve it?

↳ This is a popularity poll.... There isn't really any debate on whether the opinion is right or wrong. I understand why some fans don't like him but seeing people get mad about a poll like this is straight up ridiculous. You don't like the chara that's popular? - then vote for your fav to be able to compete . Talk more about them and why they're great instead of just listening reasons why the currently popular character isn't.

//Tiny note - this isn't about literally everyone that dislikes him . Only people who act as stated//

• I would say because this isn't a right or wrong thing yes of course he does. Whoever wins does , because it's not about the characters actions being morally superior but his likability and connection he has with the fandom/audience.

If we wanna make a poll on which character is the most angel I'd say baby Deku wins! 🖤

2. Midoriya Izuku 🐰 緑谷 出 久.

I was actually surprised that he got on top of Shouto //no pun intended(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)// They did have more tight votes than the others .

• It isn't too wild for him to be in second place the more I think about it.

↳ He too has matured and had some major character development taking place from ch.1 to now. The major complaint from ppl who didn't like him was that he's a 'crybaby'. He doesn't cry as often now and if he does it's almost always understandable . His attitude and self-esteem has also gone up quite a bit compared to the first chapters .

He kept all the good stuff in his personality and improved on the 'annoying' stuff . ( I personally never thought he was ¯(°_o)/¯ )

• All around he has a good heart , is more likable than most protagonists , is always working on improving himself , soft boy with the goal to save people. A genuine, non-superficial , real hero at heart.

3. Todoroki Shouto ❄🔥 轟 焦凍

We all knew he was gonna be in the top 3

with all the fangirls he's got ... Mh but let's just say even the people that don't love him usually like him. I don't think I've heard a person shit talk Shouto . 🤔

• I personally didn't really pay attention to him until the U.A. Sports Festival Arc! - I know shocking .

In all the arcs after that I kept liking him more and more. I would even say he's one of my favorite characters at this point.

• There are again loads of reasons to like him. We are watching his personal journey into human/social interaction and a normal life outside his toxic household with him. There is genuine tragedy in his story that he himself didn't understand . God damn remember when he said that it was also his fault his mom is gone. We really want to support and help him, but he isn't just a sad story. We see him succeed. We see how strong of a person he is .

There's a lot more I could say about him as well but you get the point.

• oh yeah.. He's also incredibly attractive.

Poll Artwork -

I absolutely love the way Horikoshi Sensei chooses specific themes for these. They're always something to look forward to and are a big part of what makes the popularity polls so exciting!

The designs are so creative and cool . I love that their placement numbers are discreetly incorporated into their suits - the only nitpick I could find is that the villains almost got no changes which is kind of sad in my opinion !

These are my three favorite outfits!!

Click for higher resolution and full pic

1. Katsuki & Kirishima

My lord if you would hold me at gunpoint and ask which I like more out of these two I'd probably get shot . They're so awesome! (I'm sorry this is just me geeking out at this point) I keep trying to type why they're so cool but I just keep writing “they're just so cool” over and over again.

2. Todoroki

One thing I never liked about his normal hero suit is that it's just very blank. It makes total sense with his personality and the hero suit of his father being so different, which is why it works but just looking at it gives me the desire for more!

This. This is what I would love as his normal hero suit!

Tell me your thoughts by commenting or reblogging ^^

I am not a native english speaker

⌈ 𝗣𝗟𝗨𝗦 𝗨𝗟𝗧𝗥𝗔 🗯

!!プルス ウルトラ!!

!!💓更に向こうへ!!

じゃあね 🌧⌋

#shounen jump #shounen #popularity poll #bnha #mha #mystuff #boku no hero academia #僕のヒーローアカデミア #bnha theory #theorydiscuss #bnha villains #bnha hawks #keigo takami #Endeavor #bnha endeavor #enji todoroki #bakugou #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #todoroki #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #tomura

[vayankb-blog]

“Is it enough”

IS IT ENOUGH” -Vayank Bhatia. We humans since our existence struggle to make things happen our own way , work our asses off to fulfil our desires but somehow it just doesn’t seem enough. Be it a multi-millionaire or a normal 9-5 job person, its just not enough . With all the luxuries in hand, sufficient money that can last from generations to generations, its just not “enough”. So when is it enough? Ever given it a thought? Will it be enough when u get that dream job? Will it be enough when u have abundant money? But what about everything in between ? Fighting all Odds to get that job , working hard all day , making all the sacrifices. But when we think about it, it scares us. We feel good about thinking of the destination whereas we forget how the journey is going to be. In todays world, where everything can be delivered to our doorstep, where science and technology is growing day by day, we still lack in the ability of feeling happy and satisfied. You must have read this everywhere “ be satisfied with whatever u have, thank almighty for what all he has given to u”. But do u really feel that way?. According to a research, there are more people now suffering from anxiety and depression than they did 30 years ago. Seriously? U must be thinking. A world where u can open ur phone and get to know what your friends are up to, talk to ppl miles away , all the stuff u require no matter from which part of the world , can be in your hands in a matter of days. Shouldn’t life be easier with all this?, but isn’t. Me, I am a teenager from India and by gods grace I have a very loving family who has provided me with the best of both worlds. The best of education, and now being able to pursue a career I always wanted to, without any questions asked. But somehow, I sometimes feel that I am not happy. Is it basic teenage life struggles? Maybe. But is it necessary to feel like that? Maybe not. Problems will never have an end. either small or big. They don’t end. And we always look at problems as if something really bad has happened to us or we question our fate that of all the people in the world why me? But never think of looking it from a positive perspective. We fail to learn from it, instead we cry over it. Sometimes being at the rock bottom can teach us what the mountain peak can’t. You must be thinking ‘Yes we all know that, but how to inculcate all these thoughts and be happy forever’. Sorry, you can’t. Ask yourself, when were you last satisfied, happy and felt you were happy with your life? Got you thinking right?. Thinking of all the pain you have been suffering no matter what is the cause or who was to be blamed to make u feel that way.But think, who is actually responsible now for making things right and living a healthy lifestyle?. It’s you. For how long will u hold onto something that will only bring out the worst of you? it may not be your fault, but it’s you, who is responsible for making things right and lead a happy life. What we ignore is a very important step.Acceptance. Accepting your pain plays a major role, if u want to move on. Sounds difficult?. Well, it is.But it hurts less.Accepting your current situation, will help u in making things clear that what you really want. Wishing for things to be different is not going to help, because that’s what it is. It has happened. What now?. you and only you know what’s bothering you. Knowing your inner self, your thoughts can help you recognise the extent of your wound and help you heal it, as you accept your authentic self. There is a concept which I would like to share,that is the 5/5 rule. Something’s bothering you? Think of it and see if it’ll matter to you 5 years from now, it doesn’t? Then don’t spend more than 5 seconds thinking about it. We all have problems in our present that seem too big and feels so difficult to just move past it, but as it’s said that ‘time is the biggest healer’ over time, when we look back it just doesn’t seem so huge. And it makes us think , then why did we make such a fuss about it then? Why did we waste our time?. What seems huge and painful today, might turn out to be one of the lessons life has taught you.Whatever painful situation you are in, stay strong, know you have what it takes to get through all of it. Just keep going. :) Struggle: often a misinterpreted term, what I think struggle in itself is beautiful. It makes u realise what you want and what you don’t. It tells you your strengths and weaknesses. But Something which is that beneficial be perceived so wrongly? Today struggling and failing are often treated similar. Struggling to make a career out of your passion ? People will already consider you as a failure because you aren’t doing what they want you to be doing for the rest of your life. What the actual fuck?. Ever seen a baby starting to walk at his first attempt?. No he falls and falls but one day succeeds. Improvement comes from failing multiple times before finally succeeding. if Someone’s better than you chances are that he/she has failed more than you until he got the task right. our education system is such that it judges the ability of a student on the basis of their success and failure. Whereas, one who has tasted failure has acquired more knowledge and discovered his/hers true potential. And in our society people are like what the critics are towards a film. They will screw you over what wrong you did and overlook the facts that you did try and gave your best.But u failed , and there’s absolutely nothing wrong about that, it does hurt and pain. But that pain is the part of the process, which eventually acts like fuel to fire and makes you thirsty for what you haven been searching for your whole life, SUCCESS. Me, I am writing for the very first time in my life. I would definitely get some critical judgements , but that shouldn’t stop me from writing if I really want to write . If I do, I would just prove them right and be stagnant at my position and not improve. The idea is to not please anyone but to satisfy one’s own self. Always try and bring out the positive from negative, because being positive all the time is being negative in itself. Quoting Mao Zedong “ once all struggle is grasped, Miracles are indeed possible”. So put your heads up, look at the world as your playground and do whatever you want. There will be downfalls, criticism, and a lot of pain. But savour it, and learn from it. Keep moving and achieve greater heights, because it is never enough. Life: A matter of choices. Whatever happens with you in your life is basically a consequence of a choice u make. Exam around the corner ? But u chose to go for parties instead of sitting at home and Studying your ass off. Consequence? Failure. And then crying that why did it happen to me?!? Everyone is struggling, somehow or the other. Some people accept their mistakes and move forward and those who deny, keep complaining. Failure is the only way to move forward in life. Well, it tells you where u lack , what is it that u need to improve. It’s well said that “ someone who thinks he knows everything, actually knows nothing”. We mortal beings are not scared of working hard, what scares us the most is that what if we work hard and still fail? And due to that fearful thought we don’t even give it a shot. Failure, success Is all part of the journey you and I are on. It’s based on a “consequence” of the choices you have made .What is in our hands is working towards it, keeping our goals clear. Success is just the bi-product of our work. With each and every step we should learn. The driving force should be so intense inside you that no matter how many times you fall, u should have the energy and strength to get up and get back at it, and if you fail, still. Ask yourself, that what you’re doing, is it enough?

[queen-of-hearts92]

Giant hands as imagery never mean anything good. The literal stage hands from episode 8 was scary enough but now theres this huge looking hand at the start of Maya's chapter of Overture. Due to this manga being a prequel to the anime I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a giant hand is featured here. Considering what hands like these usually mean, it gives quite unnerving implications, especially for Maya since this was in her chapter. Let me explain! About Maya Tendou and why I’m sad about her.

Quick note from the future: I wrote this post before episode 10 happened so while I would change somethings around I still stand by a lot of what I said here! I’ll probably do a follow up post to this one eventually! Ok thats all, enjoy the meta! owo/

Loom hands can represent danger from a powerful force, they often mean something is preying on someone else. Like a predator hunting down prey, the sharp claws add to the predator image hence the literal stage hands are also clawed. An example would be in the book/movie Coraline who is targeted by the Other Mother. Not only does Other Mother have creepy hands but on the posters and covers for the movie there is indeed a clawed hand above Coraline. 

Another thing looming hands can represent is a lack of control over yourself/your life like being directed by a puppet master. Remember when Maya was talking about the beauty of choice in episode 7? We can start to see why she views it so positively, cause she doesn’t often have that. To go with the theme of a lack of control, the controlling hand can also represent abuse of any kind. 

You see. The visual of an adult hand reaching towards a child who looks like her in the darkness has some, sad implications about Maya. I actually did wonder if that sort of thing happened during her childhood. I never put it in my write ups cause I didn't want to assume nor did I feel I had enough evidence but then this chapter happened. Now I’m suspecting abuse, physical and/or emotional most likely. I’ve said a few times in my write ups that you don’t get someone like Maya out of a happy childhood, and I know I’m right but what happened exactly we were only able to guess at for awhile but thanks to this chapter we have some idea of whats going on. 

Maya has had expectations thrown at her since she was born. Her parents it sounds like that they groomed her to be a stage girl. I’ve always been bothered that she's referred to as a thoroughbred. Yeah that word can be used at ppl but not normally, you call race horses that are born and bred to compete a thoroughbred. Maya has that word in every one of her descriptions, and that’s why. 

She was bred for the stage, nothing else was ever an option for her. Maya’s whole existence is the stage, the ghost story play in her chapter is really referring to her. She’s the ghost that gets swallowed up by the darkness. Two of the quotes from the play that stood out to me was “Aside from the heart of a stage, the position zero, there was nowhere else that I belonged.” and “The light of the spotlight is the only thing that reveals my existence at all”. To farther cement this parallel is that the ghost girl has Maya’s hair style therefore looks similar to her and only Maya is able to see her. Maya the performer is seen by others of course but Maya as a human being isn’t. That’s the invisible part, only being in the spotlight reveals her existence.

We can see this in the fact that Maya doesn’t have any close friends and while Claudine is easily the closest to Maya she’s still distant to the point that Kuro also sees Maya as a perfect embodiment of the stage. Kuro couldn’t even fathom that Tendou Maya was afraid of something silly like ghosts hence she thought Maya was acting instead. That’s a big relationship barrier here, Kuro needs to see Maya as a human being or their relationship just isn’t going to work.

Noticing that Maya has been dehumanized by everyone around her is extremely depressing honestly. From what I can tell her parents see her as a well trained prized pet, her peers see her as above them, and her crush sees her as this perfect stage girl to a point she cant recognize if Maya is acting or when she’s genuinely like scared in this case. Maya does do what she is expected to do but it seems like she’s created a coping mechanism of sorts. If her peers see her as this untouchable figure fine, she’ll be that to inspire them to progress. She wants to be the best so others do their best, this way it gives her a purpose besides just being a wind up toy on the stage. However this kind of coping won’t work forever cause at the end of the day she’s still treated like an object and not a person. Something will give, and it will hurt a lot. Like someone, please see her as a person! She needs that so so badly. God dammit...

On top of all this Maya being associated with birds has depressing implications as well. Birds can mean all sorts of shit, but one of the big ones is freedom. Ya know, caged birds still sing after all. If Maya is that bird, the one who can’t fly freely, then she’ll learn how to sing. However Maya isn’t associated with the traditional caged birds, she’s associated with swans. Swans can’t be contained like that, shouldn’t be contained like that. Just because a swan has accepted their cage doesn’t make the cage less smaller or tighter. Or feel less suffocating. Like I said in my episode 7 write up, Maya is trying hardcore to look only forward and never back but not facing the ghosts of your past can and will cause problems and eventually drag you down. Maya isn’t a lark or any kind of songbird, she’s a swan that learned how to sing and perform. And if that swan can’t or won’t break free, then its only gonna get worse from here.

All this shit ofc factors in kuromaya. I think one of the reasons why Maya has fallen for Claudine and seeks her out is while Kuro does see her as perfect, instead of backing down she fucking goes for it and thats exciting as hell for Maya. People just don’t do that around her nor succeed in truly challenge her like Kuro can. Plus unlike her, Kuro chose to go into the stage and acting. Maya must really admire that she chose this rough path and did it cause she wanted to. Hell maybe even envy her for being able to do that. She loves Kuro’s drive and passion, she loves being around her. But I do think that eventually Kuro also treating her as not human will get to Maya. And when that happens, that’s gonna hurt a lot man.

I honestly can’t imagine what it’s like to go your entire life being treated like a fancy animal at best and a thing at worst. The coping mechanism is probably the only reason why she hasn’t fucking lost her mind or her sense of self, but as I said that won’t solve anything in the long term. 

Maya is gonna break, everyone has their limits and I wouldn’t be surprised if she’ll be hitting hers soon. She, honestly needs to. You can’t bottle that shit up forever, its gonna explode. When the break happens I’m pretty sure Claudine will see it happen, cause she needs to see that Maya is human too. She’s probably the only one who can possibly understand since she also grew up in the spotlight. This will be a helpful and healing experience for both of them, Maya can finally let it all out and Kuro can learn a new way to look at her and even their rivalry over complicated lesbian mating dance. I’m hoping that’s what episode 10 will show us.

And I’m gonna cry a lot if it does go this way, ever since I noticed how everyone around her dehumanizes her I’ve been sad about it. I just want Maya to be happy god dammit. ;A;

Edit: I just gotta say, Green Finch and Linnet Bird now makes me think of Maya and now I’m sad. orz

#revue starlight #shoujo kageki revue starlight #maya tendou #tendou maya #moo watches revue starlight #let me just. spill all my feelings about maya everywhere #IM VERY SAD ABOUT HER SINCE HER OVERTURE CHAPTER OK

[mentforme-blog1]

Memoiry 1

He mused to himself as he wrote “he mused himself” man that’s a bullshit line, you guys think im gonna write a fucking memoir like that? I’m not even someone who’s done anything to warrant writing a memoir, but how else i gonna fucking pass time while I’m thinking thoughts that really encapsulate who i am as a person at 4:35 AM. fuck. It’s 4:35 AM. 5 minutes ago i was thinking about sarah conrad at 4. 30. A. M. Like fuck. It’s not like romantic by the way, im not like thinking about her voice or some shit (although i was thinking that about Person 2 shortly before hand). I just have a lot of respect for Person 1 including our disagreements. I was half thinking about texting her to see if she wanted to grab coffee at some point tomorrow but I can’t exactly text her that early bc then she gonna think a) im out of my goddamn mind (which i am rn to be fair, in literally every sense of the phrase) and b) that im tryna fuck her or something which aint the case chief. Like let’s be real, im not not trying to fuck anyone. Im lonely as hell right now. I.... just lost my train of thought. I just passed by the library (where i think with about 50% certainty that Person 2 works) and just overthought about whether or not i should take a shit in there. Half of me was like yo i should go do that because maybe she is in there, the other half thought yo I shouldn’t because she might be and the two other combinations of that. I guess i should mildly explain the Person 2 thing in some simple terms (in the danger of worsening the situation or lack thereof). So basically i have some forms of attachment issues and i super fell in love with Person 2 and then we weren’t gonna see each other till after winter break and I wanted to see or talk to her before then and it was super unclear whether or not she actually liked or cared about me or anything. So being on a rampage of a romantic notion that I wasn’t going to regret not trying to talk to or see her i kept bugging her until she said yeah we done with anything chief. Then over that break we talked for a couple days and then didn’t talk for like a week (?) she had some surgery at some point. But then i had a panic attack that i was going to lose her as a friend or as anything and started crying and messaged her saying that i was just pissed that she wasn’t trying to be friends and was super unfair and brought up the shit with how i felt she treated Person 3 unfairly and something in that mess of texts pissed her off (obviously) and she responded harshly and i half apologized but stood my ground (mainly on the Person 3 thing if i recall) and then we didn’t speak for a while and i tried retaining normalcy by sending her instagram shit like i always did in the hopes that maybe i could smooth things over like that and then i apologized and she was like yeah that’s fine but don’t try texting me as much and i was like oh okay that means intermittent texting which was fine with me, and i tried what was intermittent texting (to me) and she just sent like “ok.” sorta shit and then i eventually got the message (she blocked me on instagram at some point) and then over the next couple months i was drunk near her at model un functions and just tried sincere apologies (I don’t drunk text i just think the things i want to say i should because of regrets and shit) (p.s. I’m basically a romantic drunk but that sucks because people think I’m just saying shit i don’t mean but it’s literally no different to how I’m thinking right now, i just have more initiative) but after those (legitimately sincere) attempts at apologies i deleted her number and sort of got angry at her at myself interchangeably until i stopped blaming her at all. Anyway now she’s in charge of me with Event 1 (which is bs bc she doesn’t really “get” Event 1 and i have a much better grasp on it than her) but anyway now I’m getting annoyed that I don’t think she’s taking her job as seriously as she should (or as I would) and I’m just feeling so conflicted. Like on the one hand I’m angry because i know how she thinks (i know how a lot of people think tbh even though they usually try and say I don’t and when they force me to explain don’t talk to me for a month bc people don’t like feeling like somebody knows them better (or as well) as they do. But on the other hand i really care about her because i know her and because i want Event 1 to succeed and i want Club 1 to generally succeed. Like i love her to death (both platonically and romantically if I’m being honest) but I can’t let her get in her own way or in the way of Event 1 (and therefore in the way of Event 2 and Club 1) but i know she will never let me talk to her on a real level unless something crazy happens and this aint a fucking movie. Anyway i thought all of that in about 2 minutes of this walk and have spent about half an hour typing it all out, which is half of my fucking problem. I just think of too many things simultaneously, like I’m not smarter than anybody and i just am so pissed off when someone genuinely thinks that i am smarter than themselves or other people and doesn’t understand that I’m so much more wasteful and stuck than anybody else. Like my gpa is shit, it’s an actual reflection of my intelligence, like i say I don’t care bc it’s not causal to intelligence or anything important but that’s applicable to everyone else. For me there’s a very accurate correlation there like I’m not dumb and i know intuitively and factually the things that i know but none of it matters. God it’s shit like this that makes me think about killing myself some times but that’d be stupid bc I’ve been such a dick to so many people and been wrong about blaming them for arguments between us (although if ppl did follow my thinking there would gen(erally/uinely) be less conflict between people) that they would take my death as some sort of sign that “oh maybe he was right” even though my death means fuck all in reality that those ppl would likely blow it up disproportionately. Man if only all of the people who I’ve ever chosen to let in hadn’t been either super kind and/or broken on some level, suicide would totally be on the table. Anyway i might put this on tumblr anonymously to see if anyone has anything interesting to say or relates or some shit.

#memoiry #sucide trigger warning