Stereo Lust - Part 2
Title: Stereo Lust (2/2)
Word Count: 10,271
Pairing: Jeremy Renner x Fem Reader (Written in First Person)
Rating: M
Warnings: Sex, Blow Jobs, Light Dom/Sub if you squint, probably poorly written smut all around.
Disclaimer: I do not own Jeremy Renner, or the music referenced within this piece. Not Proof Read or BETA'd. All mistakes are my own.
I do not consent for my work to be edited, reposted, or translated.
You are responsible for your own media consumption. This is a work of fiction that contains mature themes. If you are sensitive to those subjects, please do not read.
By the time we made it to his truck he was practically pulling me, rushing hand in hand, giggling like teenagers who just snuck out and are up to no good. He reaches deep into his pocket for the keys, fishing them out before pulling me into his chest.
"You ready to get out of here?" My words coming out with a hopeful urgency. My lips brush over his, inviting him in for another heated kiss. He declines the invitation, pressing a quick kiss to the side of my mouth before shoving my sweatshirt into my hands. I pull it over my head as he steps away from me a bit, drinking me in with his eyes.
"I was ready from the moment you butted into my game." Laughter rumbles from deep in his chest, but my mouth drops open in mock offense.
"Excuse me, I did no such-" He pushes me backwards, my back hitting the cold exterior of his truck sending a shiver through my spin as he pins me in place with his body. Fuck me.
"Don't deny it sweetheart, you did, but I'm glad you did. From the moment I saw that face of yours I was hooked, but then you bent over that table, ass on full display and it took everything in me not to grab you and take you right then and there." He pushes himself up against me and I can feel every cell in my body pull towards him. He places a finger under my chin, tilting my gaze upward with a gentle push of his finger. I grab fists full of his tee-shirt, crumpling the fabric in my palms, fingers tight, pulling him in for a kiss.
He grinds his hips against mine, attempting to receive some sort of friction for the erection currently blooming behind the prison of his jeans. This man is going to kill me and I am going to thank him for it as the life drains out of me, hopefully though repeated orgasms. He pulls away from me quickly, hand moving up from my chin to grip my face. He squeezed lightly, but the gesture causes a twist of arousal to run through my body, taking over every inch.
"Get your ass in the truck, I need to get you home." His voice is low, husky and full of lust. I nod in agreement, a fierce smile adorning my face. I climb into the truck as he holds the heavy door open for me. He pats my ass gently as I pull myself up into the raised cabin.
The ride to Jeremy's flies by, probably because he's speeding the whole way while he kneads my thigh with his strong fingers, teasing me as he brings them higher and higher between my legs before working his way back down. I let my hands roam over every part of him that I could reach, reminding him to watch the road any time his focus seemed to drift. Focus, focus, focus.
He kills the headlights when we hit the driveway, putting the truck in park. He slides over on the bench seat before pulling me over his body. I straddle him, letting my weight drop fully onto his thighs. Jeremy roams his hands over my legs and the globes of my ass, kneading and planishing over my flesh, my jeans heating up under his touch.
I move to kiss him, but he stops me with a finger to my lips. "I gotta ask you something, before we go any further." His voice is breathy and sweet. I can still feel the slight bulge of his edifice beneath me. I try and push the thoughts of roaming hands and his warm lips from my mind as I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, nodding, urging him to continue. He returns his hand to my thigh, rubbing them as if he was trying to ease a sort of anxiety.
"What's up?" I take his face in my hands gently, running my thumb over his raspberry bruised lips. His chest expands against me as he draws in a deep breath, calculating his next words.
"I really don't want to ruin the mood, 'cause we got a good thing going here tonight, and though I really don't give a flying fuck, I've gotta ask you anyway. You know I'm older than you, right? Probably a lot older." He questions, mumbling the last part, eyes darting around my features. He gestures between us awkwardly and I want to take is fidgeting hands in mine, so I do, finally letting myself break from lust and passion to tenderness. I can't help but let a titter of a laugh escape me, a smile branching across my lips. His face bleeds a punched bruise of a blush, bright and unadulterated in the low light of the truck cabin.
The windows have begun to fog over from the heat leaving our skin meeting the cold air of the night at the glass. The world has dissipated outside of this truck cabin, outside of this moment, our bodies pressed together with a sort of electric yearning. Jeremy's question still hangs in the air like a sheet on the line, my laughter like a fluttering wind. I can't let the question he's posed sneak into the depths of my psyche, out of fear that that I may end up questioning my actions even though everything in me is screaming for more- so I joke and I kid, and I play the parts of myself that feel like they know what they are doing, allowing any bit of apprehension fall into the swirling pit of my stomach to be drowned there.
"Do you really think I would be here if I cared about something like that?" I run my thumb over the zenith of his lips again, eyes scanning his reaction carefully. He doesn't seem phased either way, so I continue, "Would it help if I told you that just this past month I have had people guess my age anywhere from 16 to 30?" He grins a bit at the thought.
"I predate the fall of the Twin Towers. I remember when Britany and Justin wore matching denim ensembles, and I remember waiting for music videos to premiere on MTV. Hell, you met me in a fucking bar, Jeremy." I lament. "I am an adult, and I have eyes, I know you are older than me, but I also know you are the sexiest man I have ever met and I knew what I was getting myself into the second you slid me to the end of my stool. I want to be here, with you. You still get to have your way with me tonight, that was the deal, remember?" I joke, bumping my nose into his.
Jeremy visibly relaxes at my words, his body becoming less tense beneath my hands, my own body relaxing from his ease. He grins at me, a slanted, wry smile that warms my entire fucking soul. "Did you really think I'd forget our deal?"
I shake my head at him, a smile across my lips to match his. "Of course not, but I'd be here without the deal, too." I joust, letting my hands roam up his body again. He chuckles lowly, bringing his hands up to cup my face. "So are we going to do this right here, or are you planning on taking me inside?" I grind down a bit into his lap, teasing him, clear that I have succeeded by the way he drags his next breath in through gritted teeth.
"As fun as it taking you right here would be," He tucks a stray piece of hair behind me ear with one calloused finger, "What I have planned for you is going to take a little more room. Up and out, Sweetheart." He pats the thickness of my body where my thigh meet ass, signaling for me to move.
"Yes, sir." I tease with a two finger salute, dismounting his lap before throwing open the door of his truck. I take the lead, hurrying up the long driveway, heading for the front door "Get up here, Pretty Boy, or I'm gonna have to leave you out of the fun!" I call behind me. When I reach the front door, I back into it pulling my sweatshirt over my head, watching Jeremy stalk up the driveway after me.
He operates somewhere between crass and intrigue, walking the tightrope of flirtation. From light caresses to calculated placements of his large hands. I am deadened to the world at his touch, the thought of his body on mine as he steps closer, closing me against the doorframe.
"You are going to be the death of me, if you keep that shit up." He points a finger at me, but I can see the smile threatening to break his stern gaze.
"Which part? The name calling or-" He catches my lips with his, interrupting my thought and replacing it with his tongue. These entanglements feel like the last embrace of the world itself. The feeling of my stomach floating in my chest leaving me breathless; the only saving grace being the bit of oxygen we have trapped between the parlance of our lips- and it is Godly.
Jeremy pushes open the door, holding my close with an arm wrapped securely around my lower back, palm pressing into me as his fingers stretch out to encapsulate as much of my body as he can reach.
"After you, Bub." He whispers sweetly, releasing me from his grasp. I turn around swiftly, entering the dark foyer of his home with careful steps. I toe off my boots letting them fall roughly to the floor, throwing my sweatshirt on top of them. I turn to see Jeremy doing the same, hand against the door for balance.
He takes my hand, pulling me through the dark house through rooms I cannot see. The whole space smells like firewood and incent cones, a warm mixture that spreads throughout my senses mixing with the alcohol that is fading away. We make it to the back of the house before Jeremy flips on the lights, illuminating a grand kitchen area.
"Sit, please." He motions to the stools at the bar top, I roll my eyes at him.
"So now you're going to be polite." I laugh at him, pulling myself up onto the bar top, not bothering to sit in one of the actual chairs. I can't bother to take in the details of the room around me, my attention fully fixated on the man in front of me and the way he leans back into the countertop. We stare at each other for a moment before he moves again.
"I am always polite." He corrects, digging through his refrigerator.
"That's the first time you have said 'please' tonight." He turns around to find me perched on top of the counter, leaning back on my elbows. "Not that I'm complaining, I guess."
I can feel my confidence wavering as I take in the change of scenery before me. We are no longer in the asylum of the bar. The situation I have found myself in both daunts and thrills me in equal measure. I try to ease the rapid beating of my heart, focusing on the cold countertop beneath me.
"Then why did you bring it up?" He walks over, holding a bottle of water out to me. I take it, cracking it open before taking a long drink of the cold liquid. He watches me carefully, drinking from his own bottle, waiting for me to answer.
"Uhh, nerves I guess, maybe?" I question myself, running my hand over my hair in attempt to redirect the nervous energy.
"You don't have to be nervous." He informs me, setting his bottle down on the edge of the island. "There's a reason I brought you here to the kitchen instead of taking you straight to the first flat surface I could find," A apprehensive laugh escapes my lips at his words. I let my eyes wander down his sturdy frame, the visual presence of his erection has disappeared and I fight my urge to frown.
"And what reason was that exactly?" I take another grounding sip of the cold water, feeling it run all the way down my throat, the cold spreading through my upper body with a breathless chill.
"Well, there's actually a couple'a reasons." He begins, inching towards me. "But most importantly is the fact that we have to have a conversation first." He stands in front of me, the digits of his left hand ghosting over my thigh carefully, testing the waters.
"First off, though I may be the one who's physically in control, you have the final say in absolutely everything we do tonight. Every touch, no matter how small you will be in control of. You say stop, I stop, simple as that." He deepens his touch into the thickness of my legs, both hands working at the muscle.
"Second," He continues, eyes locking with mine, "You are going to tell me exactly how you like to be touched. Though, I feel like I am already figuring it out."
I roll my eyes at him, the tension between us ebbing and flowing, all the anxiety fizzling out. He might say I am in control, but anything that leaves his lips that even comes close to a suggestion, an action, a command, it's done.
"Finally, I want you to take a look around first." He runs a hand down my arm, sincerity in his voice.
"A look around?" I question, raising an eyebrow. "You want me to walk around your house?" I gape at him a bit, trying to figure out if he is serious. My lust clouded brain trying to work out all of the pieces that have been laid out in front of me.
"Just take a look," He holds a hand out to me, inviting me off of the counter. "You don't know me all that well, apparently, and I'd like to know I have your trust before we continue anything. I'd also like you to be sober, so you can make a fully informed decision."
"You're starting to sound like a guidance counselor" I joke, taking his hand. I slide off the countertop. He places a sweet kiss to my knuckles before letting go of my hand.
"Just go look around, would ya." He laughs, "I will be waiting for you right here. Can I make you anything while you're gone?"
"Surprise me." I wink, walking out of the kitchen back the way we first came through.
This has to be one of the oddest requests I have gotten from a man, looking around his house without him there to prompt me. I am being asked to snoop. Actually snoop. I only make it out of the room before turning back around and calling back to Jeremy.
"Why do you want me to do this? Do you really want me to snoop?"
"Just think of it as an unguided tour," He calls back. I walk back into the room, leaning myself up against the wall to look at him. Jeremy catches me out of the corner of his eye, sauntering over to me before taking my chin beneath his fingers. "Think of this as a practice in trust," His breathe ghosts over my face and I can't help but lean into the sturdiness of his touch. "Now, be good and go look around." He lets go of me and I can't help but let out a nervous sigh as I turn back around and head for the dark room in front of me.
I know I should be weirded out, or anxious, maybe, about looking around someone's house alone but I cannot seem to find any sort of nervousness. I have always enjoyed looking in at people's lives, people watching, taking in the vibes they give off. This is just the same, but instead of taking in Jeremy, I get to take in his home. I truly get to see how he lives his life without the filter that he would provide. This is trust, I remind myself, trying to keep my mind on track.
I run my hand on the wall, finding the light switch and flipping it on. The room is bathed in light, revealing a large living room, huge couches in the center facing a fireplace. The overall style looks like it was intended for comfort and tranquility, the grays ands sage green complementing each other nicely. I am overall unimpressed but I do as he says anyway- I wonder around the rest of the bottom floor, finding nothing out of the ordinary before climbing the grand staircase near the front door. There is a hallway going both left and right from the landing at the top of the stairs, a bathroom directly across from me. The walls of the hallway completely covered in photographs and artwork.
I turn left first, peaking into the rooms. A couple of guest bedrooms, decorated just as beautifully as the rest of the home as been. Nothing overly exciting, so I don't wander in. Is that breaking the rules? I wonder, but not long enough to go back.
I get to the bedroom closest to the bathroom. It's painted in a dusty shade of pink, a twin trundle bed placed under the widow, the whole thing covered in a canopy. There are boxes of toys and books against one wall, photos and a lamp set up on the long dresser across from the bed.
I pad into the room carefully, over to the photo on the nightstand. In it, Jeremy holds a beautiful little girl, swinging her around. He looks absolutely full of love. I smile at the photograph, a ping of longing in my chest for a far off time in my life. Setting the photo down carefully I turn to exit the room. I close the door behind me, this new bit of knowledge about his life settling into me.
Jeremy has a daughter. A baby girl. He has a child.
I walk down the hallway, taking notice of the photos hung all over the gallery wall. There are photos of Jeremy and his daughter with other folks I do not recognize. They must be family. As I continue to look, I slowly begin to recognize some people in the photos.
In a small, dark, frame there is a photo of Jeremy with his arms wrapped around a breath taking redhead. Her hair is cut into a short bob and she is dressed clad in a unapologetically tight black body suit. I can't place her in my head, but she absolutely looks familiar.
The frame next to it shows Jeremy with a shorter, dark haired man, a man I would recognize anywhere. They are dressed casually, jeans and leather jackets.
"That's Robert Downey fucking Junior." I mumble to myself, letting my fingers brush over the frame carefully. "I wonder what he's been up to." I laugh to myself. I really need to watch more movies.
I look around at the photos again, hunting for more faces I may recognize. I glance through all of the memories on the wall, taking note of all of the beautiful people that Jeremy has surrounded himself with, a tinge of worry running through my stomach. I push the thought out of my head, wandering down to the end of the hallway.
I open up the double doors to reveal the most beautiful master bedroom. A four-post bed covered in expensive linens is centered on the back wall. There is a fireplace at the wall that faces the bed. A couple of dressers against the far wall, decorated almost like a hotel. The personal touches come out in the photographs and the reading nook that's built into the bay window. Bookshelves are set next to either side of the windows, packed full with books and mementoes.
I walk through the room, opening the closet, taking in the smell of his cologne that hangs in the air. The closet is separated into formal and work wear, more thought put into the organization the deeper I look. I let my fingers run over the lapel of an expensive looking suit jacket, the blue material would no doubt bring out the color of his eyes.
A chill runs through my body as I continue down the side of the closet. There are so many drawers I want to peak in, but I refrain. I pull a blue flannel shirt off of a hanger, pulling it over my body, pulling my hair out from underneath the collar. Once I am fully adjusted into the clothing, I take a look in the mirror. The slightly oversized shirt hiding my body, but it's warm and smells like Jeremy. My eyes draw up to my face, a wide smile across my lips.
I peak at the bathroom as I head back to the hallway. It has a giant walk in shower with multiple shower heads, almost like it is made for more than one person, but they are all pointed to the most central point of the shower. There is also a clawfoot tub and multiple sinks, everything in beautiful serene colors. I take in one last sight of his bedroom, thinking about how nice it would feel to be wrapped up in the sheets of his bed before exiting the room and heading down the stairs. I take both flights, heading straight for the basement.
I wonder deep the basement, which is basically just a recording studio of some sort. It's full of instruments and recording equipment, all much too fancy and complicated for me to dare touch. I look at the wall above his piano, words painted in a beautiful script, "Tell me will the world one day ever be mine?" I read and reread the script before walking up to the piano, letting my fingers run across the cool material of the keys. I fight the urge to clink a couple of them, with absolutely zero knowledge of the piano I feel bad even touching the beautiful instrument.
I sit on the bench, the hand written music propped up on the ledge catching my eye. Everything is filled in with pencil, and I now more than ever wished I could read music. I let my eyes wonder around the room once more, the moody gray of the paint on the walls and the bright chrome of the equipment fill my brain with fantasies of Jeremy. I can see him being a completely different version of himself in this room.
A pile of mail sits atop the closed piano, catching my eye as I stand from the bench. I know I shouldn't look at it, but I can't help but pick up the letter on the top of the pile. It's hand addressed and my eyes scan over his name carefully.
"Renner." I whisper to myself, seeing how to word feels on the tip of my tongue- it's sweet like syrup causing a smile to stick to my lips. I let my finger run over the ink, tracing his name out carefully before placing the letter back on top of the pile.
I wonder back upstairs slowly, letting my mind mull over the information I've collected. I didn't open drawers or any closets besides the one in the master bedroom, which aids in the lack of guilt I feel about the whole situation.
The smell of eggs and bacon hits me when I get to the entrance of the kitchen.
"Something smells good." I smile, walking up behind him, wrapping my arms around his middle.
"I figured since it's basically the morning." He gestures to the pan with a shrug.
I move away, taking my spot up on the bar top, watching as he plates the food for us. He hands me a plate with a small smile. I take it, shoving a whole piece of bacon in my mouth without a thought.
Jeremy erupts in laughter, taking a bite of the eggs on his plate.
"Is there something I can help you with, Mr. Renner?" I question, shoving another slice of bacon in my mouth. He just cocks an eyebrow at me. His eyes wander over me as if he is drinking me in, every last detail of the sight satiating a thirst for which there was no other cure.
"You're just too damn cute." He finally speaks, watching me shovel a forkful of eggs into my mouth. I smile my best closed lip smile at him, my eyes squinting at the corners. "So, did you see anything that caught your eye? Or did you just read my mail and steal my shirt? That's a federal offence you know. I could have you arrested for that."
"Which one?" I question, shoving more of the food into my mouth. "The reading of your mail or the stealing?" He erupts into a laugh again, a smile growing on my lips.
"Definitely the mail thing. I am pretty sure the stealing is a state issue." He points at me with the tines of his fork. I don't even bother to ask how he knows I got his name from his mail, it just seems to lack importance in this moment.
"To be fair, I didn't actually read the mail, just the envelope, and as for the shirt, well, I plead the fifth." I counter back before taking a sip of my water.
"You are still wearing the evidence." Jeremy is laughing full force through the sentences now, the corners of his eyes crinkling to make space for the joy of his smile. My hands find the soft fabric of his shirt that is wrapped around my body, a tingle of warmth spreading through my chest.
"You know what, you're right. So, if anything I say can and will be used against me in the court of law, maybe I should just start screaming your name now." I wink at him, still munching away on the bacon. His expression falters for a moment, the joy in his eyes morphing into a sort of awe before they darken. He sets his plate down on the island before leaning back against it, hands finding a home at either one of his sides. I set my plate down to mirror him, sitting up a bit straighter as if the motion would birth confidence to swim beneath my skin instead of the anxiety stained excitement that seems to be festering there instead.
"All in due time, beautiful, all in due time," His voice is no louder than a whisper, "Now, what did you think of the house? Find anything interesting?" I search over his features trying to read into his thoughts through the expression he wears. I think over the details of his home in my mind carefully, considering everything.
"How long have you lived here?" I counter back, leaning towards him. He doesn't falter at my words, remaining neutral.
"Not long, less than a year, why?" He questions, attempting to find the relevancy of the information.
"Your home feels pretty impersonal. Don't get me wrong, it is beautiful, but there was very little evidence to show that you actually live here and enjoy it. There is a handful of things that actually felt like a there was a soul within this place, but it's mostly just Architectural Digest up in here." I lay my thoughts out on the table for him to consider. His facial expression is neutral, leaning almost towards bitchy which causes a spark of anxiety to rocket through me, my chest catching ablaze like a match thrown into dry grass.
Jeremy pulls a deep breath into his lungs, his chest expanding, pulling his tee-shirt taught against the muscles of his broad chest. I bite at my lip, teeth digging into the tender flesh a bit too hard as I try and find a way to suck back in all of the words I just let fall out of my face. Then, Jeremy laughs, big and bold, to the point where he has to grip the countertop for stability.
I can feel my face contort into a strange expression as I watch the display before me. I open and close my mouth, words failing to muster. Jeremy finally looks up at me after a few moments as he wipes a few stray tears from his cheek with the back of his hand.
"You are such a breath of fresh air, you know that?" His words come out more as a statement than as a question. I give him a questioning look leaning towards him a bit more. "Is there anything you did like?"
I puff out my cheeks a bit, thinking over his question. It sorta feels like a genuine question disguised as a trap. I fight with myself over it for a moment before speaking.
"There was two things," I state, looking down at the floor. I feel that if I meet his gaze in this moment I may just cease to exist. I drum my fingers on my thigh, nervous energy looking for any way to escape me. "I liked the reading nook in your bedroom, and I like the wall scripture."
"Wall scripture?" He questions. I pull my eyes back up to meet his.
"Yeah, you know, the song lyrics. The one's you've got painted over your piano?" I explain, my hands gesturing as I speak. "I think you are a little bit obsessed with that one artist though. We should really expand your music taste."
"Can one really be obsessed with themselves?" Jeremy looks at me, cocking his head to the side. I just close my eyes, letting out a deep breathe in response to him. If he is going to keep this whole thing going, I might as well have a little fun with it. I turn my eyes up to meet his, a sweet expression falling over my features.
"I think that's called 'narcissism' Jer, you know, after Narcissus, the dude who fell in love with his own reflection." I slide off the counter, grabbing both of our used plates and place them into the sink. "He was so obsessed that he drowned himself, and flowers that bare his name began to grow where he once laid on the riverbank."
I try and take control of the situation by pulling his attention, in both story and stance. I readjust the way my hair falls over my shoulders before pulling at the fabric of his shirt, pulling it a bit tighter around my body. My lower lip finds confines between my teeth as I smirk at him.
"This is all very sexy, I must admit," Jeremey speaks as I turn back to face him. "I like you in my clothes," He gestures up and down the length of my body with a curved finger a shallow attempt at distracting me. I step closer to him, less than an arms length away now, letting my heart lead before my head.
"You want to know the kicker of it all?" I ask, slowly inching towards him. He nods at me. "The bulbs of the Narcissus plant are poisonous, ever cementing the idea that loving oneself too much will in fact kill you."
He reaches out, hand ghosting its way up my arm before it comes to a stop on the side of my face. He carefully tucks a piece of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek, running his thumb over my lips.
"If you keep looking at me like that, it might kill me before anything else can." He lets his other hand make home of my hip, his fingertips pressing into it.
"That's Medusa," I whisper, leaning towards him. I lift my chin up, looking at him deep in the eyes. A smile cracks across his lips. I ghost my lips across his, a light pinprick blush waxing across my skin.
"I thought she was cursed." He rubs the side of my face gently and I can't help but lean into his touch.
"Some say it was a curse, others say it was a gift. After she was raped, she was given the power to turn a man to stone with a single look," Jeremy looks at me tentatively, "I think it was a gift of protection, now no man could ever harm her again." My words are a whisper now, my eyes closed.
"It must be lonely, to live a life like that," Jeremy's hushed tone warms my body, the skin beneath his hands burning at his touch.
"It is," Is all I manage to say before I lean my head back a bit more before pressing my lips to his. He slots his lips between my own, sucking on my bottom lip gently. I can still feel the marks I left in it earlier as he runs the tip of his tongue across the divots of my flesh, soothing the skin. He pulls away, brushing his nose against my own.
"Which story is your favorite?" He asks, breathe ghosting over me.
"I have two," I mumble, letting my hands grip onto the fabric of his shirt.
"Of course you do," He chuckles lightly, "Why don't you let me take you upstairs and you can tell me all about them." I nod, a small smile creeping its way onto my face. He pulls me behind him, up the stairs and down to his bedroom. He turns on the fireplace with the flick of a switch and I watch as it roars to life. Jeremy closes the door behind us, grabbing my wrist as I try and walk further into the room. He cages me against the doorframe, forearms pressed against the door on the sides of my shoulders. I grab ahold of his belt by the buckle, pulling him into me, chest to chest.
"Your glow would make Icarus blush," I bring a hand up to trace my fingers over Jeremy's jawline, the slight stubble on his chin rough against my knuckles. He furrows his brow at my comment, a look of confusion falling over his features.
"Icarus; his's one of my favorite stories," I sough, letting my fingers run through his short hair. Jeremy takes my waist in his hands, pressing delicately into my frame. He dips his head, lips connecting to the plain of my neck. He presses sodden kisses to the heat of my skin.
"Tell. Me. More," He punctuates each word with the entreat of his lips.
"Icarus and his father, Daedalus were being punished for helping a man escape the labyrinth," Jeremy's hands run over the expanses of my body, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. "But Daedalus was an architect, and he built wings for Icarus and himself so that they could fly away from their imprisonment."
Jeremy hums, lips latching themselves to a tender spot in my neck just below my jaw bone. He sucks gently on the pulse point making a small whimper fall from my lips.
"When they went to fly, Daedalus warned his son that the heavy waters of the ocean would weigh him down, so he had to fly high enough as not to have the dampness of the ocean air pull him down to the waves. He also couldn't fly too high or the wax holding his wings together would melt, causing him to fall to the depths of the ocean." My words come out breathy and strained as Jeremy continues to taste the bare skin of my neck. He brings his hands down to my belt, pulling the leather strap back, the buckle opening with a metallic clink.
"In my favorite retelling," I dig my hands under the hem of his shirt, nails skimming over the sensitive skin of his hipbones. "Icarus flies too close to the sun, just to bask in the warmth, and as the wax melts and he begins his quick decent towards the churning ocean below, he bellows a laugh of pure joy."
Jeremy pulls away from me, pulling my belt from the loops of my jeans, letting it fall from his hands onto the floor.
"He laughs?" He questions, looking into my eyes with childlike curiosity. I run my hands up, lifting his shirt to expose his midriff. The taught muscles flex lightly beneath my touch.
"He laughs." I nod, sinking my hands further into his sides, raking my fingers down slowly.
Jeremy pulls me from the door, turning us around as he guides me backwards. We step slowly, in tune with each other. We continue moving, light touches and lustful looks exchanged between us. I back into the side of his bed and Jeremy's hands find my hips, lifting me up onto the tall mattress before slotting himself between my knees again. I feel a sort of power flow through my veins when he stands here with me like this; almost like he has approached an alter to pray, to worship, and I am on the receiving end- God Bless.
He reaches up to grab the back of the collar of his shirt before swiftly pulling it over his head. He discards the fabric on the floor and my self control goes with it. I let my eyes wander over his body as I pull my bottom lip into my mouth. I rake my teeth over my lip carefully, taking in each curve and dip of his body. His happy trail draws my eyes from the defined muscles of his stomach down to the low hanging waistband of his jeans.
"Why Icarus?" He questions, his fingers buried into the curls at the nape of my neck. I lean my head back against the pressure of his fingertips, wading in the pleasure of their presence. He tilts my head backwards with a taught pull at my hair, my jaw going agape as I stare up through my lashes into his foreboding eyes.
"Because I too have destroyed myself for a moment of pure bliss," I pull Jeremy down to my level by the neck, letting our lips brush together, teasing the rough nature of our grasps with honey like softness. "And I laughed the whole time."
We share sickly sweet smiles, eyes half lidded and full of lust. There is a buzz of electricity between us, ebbing and flowing, boxing us in then drowning us. I run my hands up his stomach, watching as his head dips back. A languish breathe shudders through his body, his attempt to conceal it fails as a groan escapes from the prison of his throat. His grip on my hair loosens, his hands running down my shoulders with little pressure.
I slide the Jeremy's stolen shirt from my frame, holding it out and letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor. Jeremy's hands dip beneath the waistband of my jeans, rooting around for the hem of my tucked in shirt. He pulls it over my head carefully, the fabric grazing over my skin. The cool air of the room causes a shiver to run through my spine, goosebumps spreading themselves over my skin; Jeremy's fingertips read them like brail. "I want you, I want you, I want you," they read, over and over again. The callouses of his hands leaving pinprick notions of where his hands once rested. The more his hands roam over me, the more the words change from 'I want' to 'I need' and ,my growing need for him is the one thing I have been sure about in a long time.
I pull at the button on Jeremy's jeans, the fabric opening as I pull the button through. The zipper slips down easily with a gentle tug, the teeth parting to reveal a pair of dark boxers beneath. The jeans sit wide on Jeremy's hips now, slackened. He gather's my hair that hangs loosely around my shoulders, pulling it back, holding it with a relaxed grip at the nape of my neck.
The confidence that travels through my veins prompts me as I push his hip backwards, guiding him to take a step back. I slip down to my knees in front of him, libertine and intrepid. He takes in my movements, eyes heavy but focused as I settle at his feet. I look up to meet his eyes, my hands clutching his waistband as I wait for his go ahead, thumbs rubbing into the fabric. We sit like this for a few moments, the beat of my heart tracking the time as his lust sunk gaze washes over every inch of my body. I know by the end of this encounter the only thing that will be left of me will be cherry-sour soaked daydreams and the feeling of the weight of him on my tongue- I am impatient.
"Jer?" I murmur, pulling lightly on his jeans. His erection grows, pulsing, untouched beneath the fabric of his boxers. His eyes meet mine and he takes my chin between this finger and thumb, tilting my head back further. If looks could kill this one would surely have left me lifeless.
"You look," Jeremy licks at his lips, his chest heaving slightly, "Ethereal, down on your knees like that for me," His hands frame my skull, one hand under my chin while the other continues to hold back my hair. He tests his grip through my locks with a few pulses of his wrist, pulling and twisting from the root, earning a well sounding moan from me. I look up at him through the thickness of my eyelashes, his figure slightly obscured. "Keep going, Angel, let me see how pretty you are while you swallow me."
He lets go of my chin, allowing me to look as I pull his jeans down around the bulk of his thighs, letting them pool around his knees. I reach back up to his pull his boxers down, exposing him to me. His penis stand erect, tip facing upwards towards his stomach. I tease the vein on the underside with a brush of my thumb before wrapping my hand around the girth towards the base, tilting the head down to meet my lips. I am sure there is some sort of metaphor for the way I touch him, or the way his body reactions under my touch but the only thing I can seem to conjure up is the bloom of pride that takes over my chest as he moans. I lick a wide stripe over the head as I watch Jeremy's reaction. He wraps his free hand through my hair, holding my head steady, or maybe he is holding himself steady with the way he presses the pads of his fingertips into my skin.
I lean forward a bit, taking the first inch of him into my mouth, swirling my tongue around him. He lets out a sweltering moan, pulling tighter on my hair with the twisting of his wrist. I pump him gently, sinking more of his length into my mouth as I go, tantalizingly slow but steady in my motion.
I sink down till my lips meet my hand, now only a fist length away from completely devouring him. I squeeze my hand, hollowing out my cheeks as I pull back, earning another wonton moan from Jeremy. His head as fallen back now, eyes screwed shut as pleasure fills his body. He tries to push his hips forward a bit to hurry my movements, but I pull back a bit causing him to groan. I begin to slip his member in and out of my mouth as I pump his length with my hand. With each motion I can feel him pulse beneath me, unraveling at my touch.
Maybe this is what Icarus felt like, too close to the sun, burning wax dripping marred trails into his skin, smoldering, the sky smelling like sulfur, sex, and charred flesh.
I would burn from the inside out to feel this alive again.
"Oh my god," He utters above me as I pull my hand away, allowing him to fully push his length between my lips and down to the back of my throat. I fight a bit, trying to keep from gagging as I pull back with hollowed cheeks before repeating the movement all of again, again, again. Jeremy's strong hands pull on my hair, pulling me back away from him body, the head of his dick escaping my mouth with a pop. He stands above me, staring down, wrestling a strangled breathe from his lungs. His hands are still homed in the tangles of my curls, the tendrils wrapped around his digits like roots.
"Is everything okay?" I question after a few beats, my hands finding purchase on his calves. I wrestle with the uneasy feeling that has begun to flood my stomach, worry slowly leaking in, level rising and taking over my chest cavity. I keep my touch light, almost tender, treading awkwardly into an unknown feeling. Jeremy just looks at me for another second, the anxiety moving from swimming to storming in my stomach. Then a lummox of a laugh escapes him as he drops to his knees in front of me.
"Everything is absolutely okay," He pulls me against his chest, cupping my cheek with one hand while the other traces a line down my spine. "I just plan on making this last, and that sinful mouth of yours has other ideas." I let out a ragged breathe trying to banish all of the negative feelings from my body, draining the queasiness and self doubt with it. He rubs my cheek gently with his thumb, the light touches completely juxtaposing the firmness of his erection against my stomach. "Shall we continue?"
I nod, the corners of my mouth twitching up into a small smile. "Yes, please."
He runs his hand around my back, taking the closure of my bra between his skilled fingers, popping it open with a flick of the wrist. The straps loosen around my shoulders and he pulls them off carefully, fingertips barely touching my skin. The fabric falls away to reveal the horizontal barbells that pierce my nipples, the stones glittering brightly in the sizzling glow of the firelight.
I shouldn't be surprised be the experience Jeremy seems to operate with, but the way he is able to set the lightest fingerprints into my skin and still make my head spin has me at a loss for words. Hell, I am at a loss for everything under is touch, but I can't find it in me to care.
Jeremy's eyes lock on the jewelry in my nipples, examining the bars carefully. He lets his fingertips just ghost over the fullness of my breast, the other hand coming up to grip my ribs to steady my body. He runs his thumb over the peak of my nipple before barely pressing the jewel of the bar, watching it pull at the skin of my nipple carefully. The tingling feeling of the pull of the jewelry draws a small gasp from my lips.
"Just when I decide you can't get any better, you surprise me with something like this," Jeremy praises, running his thumb over my erect nipple again. My arousal is pooling in my panties, each touch, each tease, drawing a new sense of longing out of me.
The eros coursing through my body leaves me huffing graveled breathes, my mind trying to focus but the only thing it manages to find are the intense arousal between my thighs, sitting dense in my core; and the way his fingers feather over my skin, and it's a kindness.
Jeremy leans in close to my ear, "Why don't we get you out of those jeans, huh?" He runs his tongue over the pierced shell of my ear as his hands dip to unfasten my jeans. Each button he pulls open causes a jolt of electricity to run through my veins, anticipation burning low in my stomach. He pushes up on my hips a bit, signaling for me to stand. Once I get to my feet he pulls my jeans off of me in one swift movement before letting them fall into the ever growing pile on the floor.
He stands in front me of, pulling his jeans and boxers from his body. He pulls on the elastic of my panties, humming contently to himself. He takes my hips again as he kneels before me, spinning me around towards the mattress. My hands find the soft fabric of the sheets as Jeremy begins to leave a trail of elysian kisses up the back of my thigh.
If I could see myself composed the way his hands make me feel, blazing and poisonous and beautiful, they would have to name a flower after me too, the soft ripples of the bedsheets calling to me like an open spring calls to the parched.
"Your ass looks phenomenal in these, Bub," Jeremy traces the lace trim of my soddened panties with the tip of his nose before nibbling the fullness of my ass cheek, sinking his teeth into the flesh. He runs his hand up my spine, pushing me chest first onto the mattress. He guides my feet apart before slotting his knee between them. "Tell me something, Angel," He continues to pepper kisses over my backside before trailing up to my lower back with the tip of his tongue.
"Yes, Jeremy?" I ask, breathless. He stirs up feelings in my body I have only read about. The service between us morphing into a deep, stocked fire, crackling burning embers into the air. He slips his fingers beneath the elastic, tugging the fabric down my body. I step out of them and he throws them to the side. Fingertips trail up the inside of my leg as he slots his knee back between my feet.
"Are you going to be good for me?" His voice is liquid sugar pooling in my stomach.
"Yes," I manage, words catching in my throat has his fingertips pass the crest of my knee and continue north. "Yes, Sir, I am."
"Good," He clears his throat a bit, "Now get up on the bed for me, Bub,"
I step forward before crawling up into the bed, swaying my hips to tease him. He keeps his eyes trained on me from the floor as I turn around, spreading my legs wide, displaying myself just for him. He rolls his eyes back, head dipping with it as if the weight of his lust hangs from his neck, pulling him backwards. He falls deeper into the floor, sinking and unbothered by it; his eyeline keeps drifting back to me, lazily moving over the curves of my body and I swear I can feel the trial they leave. I look at him, contemplation, no, struggle written lightly into his features as he continues to weave his gaze around my figure.
"Jer?" I try, my stance faltering in confidence at his lack of movement. I begin to fold in on myself, closing my legs slowly as I bring my hands up to cover my upper half.
"No, no, no," He stops me, his words barely a whisper as he steps up to me, hands resting on my knees. A mixtures of confusion, self consciousness and the lust mix into a noxious mixture, clouding my senses. "I'm sorry for staring, you're just so," He rubs my skin carefully, rough fingertips scraping over my sensitive skin. "You're so, everything. I can't get over how beautiful you are. I just can't stop looking. Are you okay if we keep going?" I voice a hushed but enthusiastic 'yes' as his words wash over me, my muscles further relaxing beneath his touch as I fall back onto the mattress. I let him open my legs again, allowing him to lean into my body.
"I'm not going to lie to you, it's been a while, so I don't know how long this is going to last," He lets out an anxious chuckle as he runs a hand through his hair. A small laugh escapes me before I can even think. I crave him like the moon craves the waves, his eyes like riptides, unrelenting but untouching, unsatisfying.
"Jer, it's been a long damn time for me too, and if you don't get to it, I may simply pass away right here from anticipation alone." With that, he hooks his left arm around my leg, pulling me up by the knee so I am pressed against him.
"We can't have that, now can we?" He winks, punctuating a grind. Star bursts of ecstasy crawls under my skin throughout my whole body as he grazes against my clit, pulling a moan from my lips. He positions himself tactfully before pushing in and praises leave his lips as the tip of his cock begins to stretch me out with a pleasurable sting.
"God, you look perfect just like this, you're doing so good for me, Angel," He praises, pushing further into me as he speaks. He keeps me at the edge of the bed just like this, bottomed out, unmoving as he warms his cock inside of me. I squirm a bit, begging for any sort of movement. "Fucking gorgeous." He moves to my clit, brushing over it as he rocks his hips with a barely there movement. I can't help but clench around him at the motion, the pleasure from his thumb thrumming through me.
"Please, Jer, I am begging you. Fuck me, I need you to fuck me, please." A low groan leaves his lips at my words as he bites at his lip. Jeremy begins to pull his length out before pushing back in, setting up a blissful pace as he finally begins to fuck me. I moan as the movements, feeling every thrust building to an orgasm.
In this moment everything shifts- what was once all anticipation and actualization has formed into a hunger, unrelenting and messy. I was never meant to be clean, poised or assured. The sheer figment of my soul has always yearned to be unmade- being under his hands was nothing but benediction.
He leans over me, pushing my knees closer to my head which allows him to push himself deeper into my folds as he sucks a strawberry bruised mark into my collarbone, spit stained and sore to the touch. As he pulls away from me, he pulls out, grabbing ahold of my legs and thrusting them to the side. He positions me so I am laying partially on my side, easing off of my back, allowing me to look him in his eyes as he thrusts back into me, angled deeper. My closed legs making everything feel tighter, each drag of his cock bringing me closer and closer.
I don't know if my strangled groans or Jeremy's breathe covered curses come first but he fuck me harder and I am thankful.
"Just like that," I manage, breathe strangled in my throat, "I'm so close, keep going, fuck yes, just like that," Jeremy doesn't falter until I spasm around him, his thrusts going uneven and ragged.
"I am so close, beautiful, so close." I push him back at his words, a shocked look striking over his features before I move to throw myself at his feet. His confusion melts as I take his cock into my mouth again, pumping him with my hand as I swirl my tongue around his tip.
Icarus was right to have flown, to have tasted the rays of sunlight with his own tongue, but I doubt they would've tasted as ambrosian as this.
He comes with a gruff moan, spilling himself down my throat. I pump him through his orgasm, taking every drop of him before I finally release my grasp. He gasps over me and I swallow.
"Holy fuck." Are the only two words he can manage as he looks down at me. He sways a little as the aftershocks of his orgasm rock through his body and I pull him down to the floor with me, taking his lips with mine. He wraps his hands into my hair; mine wandering freely over the expanses of his figure.
When he finally pulls back, we share sickly sweet smiles, not from lust but from pure, self indulgent exhaustion. We take each other in, just like this, sweat sticky and cum sweet, our bodies fitting together like the closure of a locket, storing this memory between us. A memento.
"I have a possible moment ruining question," I finally speak, my head resting in the crook of his neck as he plays with my hair. My knees are sore from the hard floor beneath me, satiny static beginning to move through my legs as the loss of feeling takes over.
"What is it?" He tenses a bit under me but doesn't falter.
"Why the fuck is there a photo of you and Robert Downey Jr. hanging in your hallway?" I ask, not bothering to move to meet his eyes. He rumbles beneath me, beginning low before morphing into a full belly laugh. When I pull back, Jeremy is trying to catch his breath, wiping a tear from his eye. "What's so funny?" I question, quirking an eyebrow. My words just send him into another fit of laughter.
"So you know who he is?" He retorts, words bumbling over his laughter.
"Of course I do!" I exclaim, and the look on Jeremy's face is priceless.
"God, you are so totally oblivious to a whole part of his career aren't you?" He asks, more to the room than to me specifically. "What's the last movie of his you saw?"
I think over his question, trying to recall anything recent. "I think it was Zodiac, you know, with Mark Ruffalo?"
"Oh for fucks sake." He runs a hand down his face, his harsh words bathed in humor.
"What is it this time?!" I shove his shoulder playfully.
"That movie came out in like, 2007? 2008 maybe?" He informs me. He takes my face gently in his hands, "And what I am about to tell you is one hundred precent true, okay?" I nod beneath his grasp. "Robert, Mark, and I have made three movies together since 2012, and like a bunch of other movies with the same group of people." He rambles, staring straight into my eyes as if he is trying to pass all of his knowledge through his gaze. I grin a bit, my cheeks squished between his hands.
"I thought you said you made music." I note, feeling a bit of apprehension tangle in my chest.
"I do." He chuckles, dropping his hands from my face to grab my hands in his. "But we made the goddamn Avengers! Earth's mightiest heroes!"
"I am so happy for you?" My words come out as a question, my eyebrows furrowing.
"Holy fuck, have you not seen a single one of the Marvel movies?" His question is mock serious but overflowing with intrigue.
"I think I saw one with Tobey Maguire?" I tell him with a shrug.
"That is only kind of right." He laughs. "You really have gotta see more movies, Jesus Christ." He pushes himself from the floor before reaching down to help me to my feet. I stumble a bit, the bee sting sensation rousing throughout my legs. "Get in bed, we will talk about your lack of movie knowledge more tomorrow."
I can't help but laugh as I bury myself beneath the cool sheets of his bed, my body aching but glad to be off of the hard floor. Jeremy slips in beside me before pulling my body flush against his body, wrapping me in a warm embrace.
The events of the night wash over me in a haze, salt soaked and pleading. The grief that has held me prisoner over the past few months now nothing more than a slight itch in my chest. I don't think of it now, in this moment, wrapped up in Jeremy's strong arms. My body now thoroughly worked over and satiated thrums with a new feeling, more love than loss, more present than absent; chosen.
Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be, healing that is, maybe not all at once, but sudden. The drowning feeling easing into a floating, a surviving that finally breaks through into actually living. It's moments like these that make me feel alive, just the way I am supposed to. Not bound by what is no longer here or the waiting for something to exist, there just is- truly present and unbothered by the notion of inexistence.
"Goodnight beautiful," He whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.
"Goodnight, Pretty Boy." I sigh, exhaustion clouding over my senses, buzzing quietly beneath my skin.
He is asleep in mere moments as my mind stumbles back to my other favorite tale, Orpheus and Euridice. When Euridice was lost to the underworld, Orpheus risked everything to find her, the power of his music guiding him. Their only way to escape the underworld was to leave together, her behind him. He must never turn around to be sure she was still there, otherwise they'd be lost to each other forever. The music, his music, guided her, even if she didn't know him by face or by form.
Her soul knew him- and that was enough.
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