#aka they make each other so much worse and they can't stay away from each other and OH MY GOD. im so normal about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sofasoap · 1 year

Text

Why the strife and the flow of tears

Pairing: Simon “Ghost ” Riley x f!Reader ( OC aka Mini MacTavish )

Summary : Sequel to "“Happy ever after, please stay for a while” .

Babies, and finally opening up to each other.

Warning: Mature theme , pregnancy. London/UK landmarks, Medical related stuff described in this fic are just made up by me for plot purposes. Not beta'ed. Any Scottish Gaelic here are from google.

A/N : Kind of Continuation/parallel universe of @saltofmercury ’s “The Favorite MacTavish” , where the reader/OC is Soap’s little sister. PLEASE GO READ HER STORY first to make sense of this story. Thank you for lending me your character.

“masterlist” for more stories to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

You woke up to constant beeping sound of machine. Slowly opening your eyes, you are staring at a strange yet familiar ceiling.

Lifting your arm you notice all the wires and IV that is attached to you. Isn't this the ICU unit at your work? Why are you here?

THE BABIES.

Pulling the blanket up with little strength you had, you notice your stomach is slightly flatter. Panic and pain set in.

ICU nurse on duty heard your movement and rushed to your side. A doctor appeared few seconds later.

"... Emma? .. where am I?"

You tried to sit up but Emma gently pushes you back into bed.

"Relax, you been in induced coma for two weeks. We nearly lost you." You can see your friend was trying to be professional and holding herself together at same time.

" Where are my babies? Are they OK? Please tell me I didn't .."

" They are stable. both of them in the NICU at moment. We had to perform C-section on you due to preeclampsia. You gave me a mighty fright when you collapsed."

Letting out a shaky breath you relaxed back into the bed. Emma continue to check all your vitals and updating you what's been happening while you were in the coma.

"... Your mum and dad came down from Scotland as soon as I contacted them. She's just gone back to the house to have a bit of rest, your Dad is just down at the cafe getting a coffee."

"Johnny was bawling his eyes out and wouldn't leave your side until your dad pulled him out of the room with your mum whacking his head for making so much noise.."

"Johnny was here? I thought he was still in Mexico?"

" Your dad contacted him through SAS after your mum went all panic mode when her calls couldn't connect. She was going on about losing two of her precious children all at once. He flew in two days after you were sent in here."

You feel guilty for making so many people worrying about you also dropping their life to care for you.

"He's flown back to Mexico again after you were stabilised, and oh, the 141 boys and your team from Emergency send their regards." she wave her hand towards the bedside table, and you notice bunch of cards sitting there.

Putting away her stethoscope," You seem to be all good at moment. I'll see if we can get you transferred to a private ward tomorrow if the results from tests are normal."

"When can I see my babies? I want to meet them." You long to hold them in your arms, after all the chaos and drama.

"TOMORROW. I can't move you out from here yet. Be patient." After turning to the nurse in charge requesting few tests, Emma gave your hand a soft squeeze. " I'll go find your dad and let him know you are awake. in the meantime... behave. "

You look at her with a deadpan expression. " yea good luck with me try to make a run for it with all these cords."

Emma laughed. " Just to be sure. You know how us health professional people tends to be the worse patient."

" Thanks for having so much faith in me."

" This is what I am here for."

" I have Johnny for that."

"Bravo Six, hold your position."

".. Soap."

"...."

"Johnny."

"Simon."

"...How is Mini doing."

" Why would you care now."

"....."

"You two. Concentrate. Enemy approaching from Ten."

""Roger that.""

"Shh.... stop babbling and go to sleep... you going to wake your sister up..." You pace back and forth with your son in your arm, trying to put him to sleep. It's been two hours but he just refuses to settle. While his sister sleeping soundly in her cot. Not wanting to deal with two crying babies later on from all the noises he is making, you decided to take him out into the garden for bit of a stroll.

You are still amazed two little miracles you have produced. How can two of them has such opposite personality only at four months old. Aileen took on the MacTavish trait in terms of looks, but very calm and quiet baby like her father. While little Johnny ( Soap was overwhelmed when you decided to name your son after him) was exactly like his uncle. Making noises and looking around all the time. Curious little bub.

It's nearly mid autumn, you can feel bit of chill in the air. You tuck him closer to your chest. Rocking him while singing a lullaby in Gaelic.

"Yer look like your Da but behave like your uncail ..can't stop talking aye?"

"Look who's talking."

Startled, you turned around.

Simon.

Without his mask on. his handsome face all out on display. Looking totally exhausted and drained.

It took Simon a while to work up the courage to ask Soap for your address. Soap refused to give it out at the start.

"So you can hurt her all over again Simon? is that what your plan is?"

Simon has no answer to it.

Did he want to see you for the sake of settling his own guilt so he can move on? Or he is determined after hearing news you manage to pull through the surgery and deliver the babies safely, that for once, for ONCE, there might be hope after all. The universe giving him one last chance to make amend.

He surprised everyone when the team returned from Mexico mission going into therapy, voluntarily.

But Soap still wasn't convinced. Until Price dragged both of them into the bar one night, ordered drinks each for them and a pat on their back;

" You two. Talk it out. For the sake of Mini and the babies. ... and the team. Can't let this go on forever." and walked off while mumbling how he is like a dad and uncle to the boys , always sorting their shits out.

And this is where he ends up. Soap finally gave in and give him your address.

"I will not hesitate to punch the shite out if you hurt my family. " Soap warned.

Seeing you standing there, under the moonlight, rocking the baby. His son. Their Son. Singing a lullaby, reminding him when he was first introduced to his nephew Joseph by his brother and sister in law Beth, lovingly glow that only a happy family can show. His heart aches.

"Why are you here." You glare at him.

".. I want to talk."

" I thought we have already established you want nothing with us anymore."

" I... " clenching and unclenching his fist. " I was wrong. I came here to apologise. To make amend."

" To make yourself feel better?"

" .. I would be lying if I say no."

A faint cry coming within the house. Emma is on night shift tonight so there is no one else to help you.

" Oh gosh." You turned and walk towards the door. Pausing for a second, you turn around again and asked, " Do you want to come in. "

More like a statement than a question. Simon followed you without a word into the house.

Looking around, he sees few photos on the wall. you and Soap's baby photos, family photos, graduating photos, a candid photo of a young looking Soap in his SAS uniform and you, looking about twelve years old standing beside him imitating his pose. Last photos on the wall was you holding the two babies for the first time in NICU still with all the tubes attached. His stomach churns. He wasn't there for them. During the hard times.

Turning his attention back, following you up the staircase and towards the source of the cry, you open the door to the nursery.

" Ok ok Mah bairn.... Ma is here.. are you hungry?" walking towards the cot, you lean over and try to sooth your daughter.

"..Hold him for the moment please while I feed her."

without waiting for reply, you pass your son to his father and turn back again to pick up the other baby.

His son stares at him, Simon stares back, half expecting the baby to burst into tears. To his surprise, the baby started gurgling and making random noises, not an inch of fear shown.

"Bit like your mother ... not afraid of strangers."

"Hum??"

"Nothing." He adjusted his hold, cradling his head in his arm.

You walk towards the rocking chair near the window, unbuttoning the maternity wear and started breastfeeding the child. Simon averted his eyes, blushing, feeling he is intruding a private moment.

" You can look you know. You seen everything already.. once." Is that your attempt to try and ease the tension?

"... what are their names?"

" Johnny Thomas MacTavish." Looking down at your daughter " Aileen Riley MacTavish." Simon's heart ached and sucked in a deep breath hearing you naming the children after his brother and him. Also heart broke a bit the children taking on MacTavish surname, not his. he only got himself to blame.

" why."

"... Simon, as much as an asshole you were, oops sorry bubby, ignore ma's foul language." you chided yourself, " I still want the children to have some sort of connection to their sperm donor." you joked bitterly. " I won't stop them to get in contact with you when they grow up. It's their decision to make."

"I am sorry."

" Stop apologising. I was in the wrong too. I was stupid and naive enough to let you lead me on. Thinking there is something. Possible something. And I fell for it. I don't regret that night. It gave me these two beautiful children. But you broke my heart. You could have let me down more gently but you just shut me out, like that. No explanations or whatsoever!" You raise your voice and tears started streaming down your face.

Simon hate to see you cry, he realised.

"I.. I didn't exactly have a happy childhood, quite an abusive one to be honest. " He swallowed, admitting his secret was hard. " I know I have a lot of issues.. I am getting therapy.. counselling.."

" What do you want SIMON. What do you want from me? " For the first time tonight you said his name. Demanding an answer.

" I want to... no... Can we start over again. I want to do the right thing. Please." he begged.

No reply. His heart dropped.

Finish feeding, you button yourself up again, stood up from your seat and walk towards him. You look up at him, placing Aileen into his other arm.

Simon couldn't hold it in anymore. He broke down crying. All the emotion he been holding in came out all at once. When was the last time he had a good cry? Before his father punished him for any tears or showing any signs of weakness, he been holding in his emotion since then. Not even when he saw the dead bodies of his family.

He vowed to himself he will never, ever, do that to his two precious babies. Not the way his father treated him.

"Simon. You really hurt me that day. Heartbroken. I try to forget about you. " Shaking your head you continued,

"But every time I look at them. I can't. I realise part of me still wouldn't let you go." Simon looked up at you with hope in his eyes.

"No Promises." You added sternly. "This is your last chance. I want to take it slow. This time round it's more complicated. There are kids involved this time."

"Even if this doesn't work out at the end. Promise me you would not shut us out again. The children are innocent in this. They don't deserve ugly treatments from their parent's problem."

Simon tighten his grip on his babies.

You sighed. Looking at the two babies. Fallen asleep in their father's embrace. You feel the tears coming up again. Even with what you said to him before, That little selfish part of your heart is hoping it will work out fine this time round. But the rationale part is warning you to be careful. Take it slow. Don't rush. Don't be so rash, like Johnny said " THINK before you act Mini, that is your biggest downfall". You chuckled.

"What's so funny."

" Nothing. Just thinking back to what Johnny was nagging me about the night we met."

" ... He must be proud our son was named after him." Our son.

"He bawled his eyes out." His eyebrows raise at your statement. " he is actually bit of a cry baby, believe it or not.".

" Can't imaging."

Looking at the time. Its close to 1am. You yawned. Simon walked over to the cot and try to put the babies down. It's quite hilarious seeing a big man bending over and struggling to put the babies into the cot.

"Here. that's Aileen's cot, don't put Johnny in there. They are quite picky about where they sleep."

"Not surprised."

You rolled your eyes, helping him to put the babies into each of their cots.

"I better go."

Nodding your head. You lead him back downstairs to the front door.

" .. How long you staying in the country this time."

" We are heading off again day after tomorrow." Tentatively he reach out for your hand. You didn't flinch away. That's a good sign. " We should be back again, if everything goes smoothly, within a month's time. it's a simple mission."

"Famous last words." Oh how he miss the banters between you and him.

" Can I take you out for dinner when we come back?"

"Making your move on me already?"

" Gotta start somewhere." He chuckled.

" You need to ask Johnny if he is free to babysit. Emma will be working overtime a bit next month."

"I will make him , Don't worry."

"Bravo 6-2, any visual on enemy."

"Negative sir."

"Push on Bravo 6-2"

""" Roger."""

" Soap."

" Ghost."

" You are babysitting next Thursday."

"....Are you asking me?"

" I am telling you."

" I am free if you want."

" Stay out of it Gaz."

" What are you doing next Thursday."

" I am going out on date with Mini."

" Again, are you asking me for my permission."

" AGAIN, I am telling you."

" Shut it everyone, concentrate on the mission." " yes sir!" " I am free too if you want me to babysit" "... Captain..."

….And the whole team ended up babysitting while Mini and Ghost went out for dinner date.

Salute to all the health care workers. I know a lot of them ( including my own family member ) worked tirelessly overtime in the last few difficult years. hats off to you all!

and peeps, if you have issues, please see someone to get help. Like Simon did ( pointing at the Skull mask boy) .

Talking about simon... I gotta put this here again. this is MY Simon in this fic ( no i didn’t commission it. I came across it one day and fell in love with the masterpiece) . Look at @shkretart beautiful art work! “Simon/Ghost” - Credit to : @shkretart , Sorry Samuel Roukin just isn't my cup of tea LOL but I love his voice though!!!! Together with Neil Ellice and Barry Sloane.. these three makes me melt. *getting hot and bothered*

I imaging both Soap and Mini get their very animated personality from their mum, while MacTavish senior is bit more silent and calm person. He's probably the only person in the family that will empathise with Ghost dealing with the noisy bunch lol.

Just an Epilogue left to tie the loose ends up, and prob going to write a little interlude of what happened on the "fateful night" as well ( I can't promise I can write a decent smut.. )

thank you again for reading, likes, reblog and comments!

#simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley imagine #simon riley x you #johnny soap mactavish #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley x you

188 notes · View notes

madness-in-the-flesh · 2 years

Note

How would Church and jorge hunt down their s/o?

This made me do the thing where you lay on your tummy and kick your legs at the idea. Anyways thanks for requesting those two after I asked for some. Appreciate it <3

CHURCH AND JORGE HUNTING DOWN AN S/O HCS

GENRE - ROMANTIC

TRIGGER WARNING - Kidnapping implied, Manipulation, Intimidation, blackmail mention, Violence, amputation mention

If them being able to follow Sanford and Deimos to the strangest of places, then you KNOW you are probably not gonna go far whether your running from them or you've just escaped them.

I feel like they're both VERY skilled at tracking people down. It's not much of a chore when they can find tracks aka they're tracking you down via sightings. You're gonna need to play it safe or you are FUCKED.

You can't trust anybody with the info on your whereabouts and avoid anyone that could see you. Gonna have to move around like Jeb in that one part of Project Nexus if you want to get out and stay out of their grasp but that's not what we're here for.

They ask around, Asking and bribing people if they've seen you. They're also not afraid to use intimidation if it helps jog said persons memory.

They also have all your family and friends ( if they haven't taken them out ) along with your favourite spots / go-to places you'd go to help which is where they start. They had stalked and bribed enough information before they took you or even in some cases, black mail.

They catch up quickly because of this and the combination that is the greedy fucks of Nevada. They might even put out a reward for sightings of you but that's a last resort.

They'll find you at every twist and turn, usually popping up in their usual fashion: Smashing through the nearest barrier between the three of you or just jumping out of nowhere.

Not afraid to harm or hurt you but they make sure to play it out carefully. Usually WILL already somehow incapacitate you from a distance and just play it off as them just finding you and saving your ass from your supposed attacker.

Not against breaking your limbs / popping them out the sockets if it means you can run. Might even debate amputating them so you can't get away again.

Might even get them to stage a kidnapping, basically helpless until they come along. maybe it'll teach you to appreciate them but at least you will definitely have nothing on you to fight back as Church picks you up and throws your over their shoulder. No matter how much you kick and scream.

I think they're with MERC, with their first appearance being before you meet them, so It wouldn't strike me if hey got people who owed them favours to harm you themselves so they can swoop in and proceed to ( pretend to ) beat the shit out of them, taking them out.

Which only works for a couple weeks until you see the same guys that attacked you, hanging around the area with them. Maybe they should give them disguises next time because it'll start getting to you eventually.

You bet your ass your getting punished badly when your " home " with them. Don't except to be left alone ever again. Like ever. Not even the bathroom, you lost those privileges according to them

The worse part though about tracking you down is no matter how much you escape, no matter how high you climb or how low you dig, No matter how far you travel or even if you try hiding in plain sight. They won't rest until they find you and are hellbent on making you theirs. This is just an inconvenience is what they tell each other

They will not stop hunting you for any reason. Not even if the other were to die, might even make them worse since then you're the only thing they have left.

#madness combat #yandere madness combat #yandere madness combat x reader #madness combat x reader #Church #Jorge #Church & Jorge

56 notes · View notes

kiridarling · 3 years

Text

𝐂𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐞𝐤𝐮, 𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐨

𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔.

→ Okay. Izuku Midoriya? A sadist.

→ And you've been a brat all day, because he's been busy fighting crime as a newly debuted pro hero, and you can't help it if Izuku's new suit fits him a little too well.

→ And of course, the one day he finally has time to take you on a date you two go to the mall, only to be swarmed with thousands of Pro Hero Deku fans buzzing with requests for photo's and autographs and other bullshit and you just want to clobber them in the head and spit the ugly truth in their faces—that at the end of the day, their lovely Deku comes home to you, and sleeps next to you, and the fact that they can steal his attention away from you is absolutely outrageous. Blasphemy.

→ So naturally, you start acting up. You roll your eyes at the next fan who asks you to take the picture and you scoff at the next fan that announces their love. You pile them on, offense after offense, and by the time you get into the car, Izuku's practically vibrating with anger.

"Say one word and I'm bending you over the hood."

→ Oh.

→ Needless to say, you're squirming the whole ride; though you're unsure if it's from his words, the dead silence, or the tight grip Izuku has on your thigh but either way, the trip back home feels painfully long.

→ The second you two get through the door, he's cornering you into the living room and bending you over the arm of the couch without a second thought, big hands yanking your hips back so your ass sticks out just the way he likes it.

"Bratty doll...you wanted my attention that bad, huh?”

→ Izuku exaggerates every other word with a harsh spank that has you whimpering behind a bitten lip. Though eventually, he deems your muffled moans not enough and aggressively yanks your bottoms off, stuffing his fingers into your mouth.

→ Once they're wet enough, he slides a finger in, (because no matter how angry he is, you’re still his baby). But once you're ready? It's game over.

→ You figured Izuku was going to be a tease about it, but once he sits you on his cock and doesn't move, it has you squirming in confusion. What the hell could he be waiting for?

"Awe, what's the matter, doll? Did you want me to move?"

→ The hold his hands have on your waist is tight enough that you can't even twitch your hips—and the grip only gets tighter the more you wiggle in protest. Izuku tuts, landing a slap to your bruised ass that makes one thing clear: You’re not moving.

→ The green-haired bastard turns on the tv, for fucks sake. And has the audacity to pretend like he's paying attention to whatever's on—because it's not like you're paying attention, too preoccupied with the cock in your guts. You can't squirm because something tells you that'll only lengthen the punishment you've been sentenced to, but by the end of the first episode, it's a little hard not to.

→ Izuku caves the second you start begging. Mostly because it was what he was waiting for, but also he's probably struggling worse than you while he watches you whimper and squirm in his lap.

“Fine, doll. Since you waited so patiently, I guess I can make you feel good.”

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈.

→ 100% your idea

→ And he had absolutely no warning. The Bakusquad decided to hold a movie night in the common room on a random Saturday evening when the dorms were pretty much empty. Katsuki didn't even want to be down there in the first place, but after you winked so prettily and promised he'd get a treat if he came, he didn't grumble nearly as much.

→ But what he didn't know was that you meant right now.

→ Katsuki knew something was up the second you sat in his lap and asked Denki for a blanket—that's rarely your Bakusquad move night cuddle position, plus you're always saying how you never need a blanket because Katsuki runs so warm.

→ And he definitely knew something was up when you started grinding against him, not even ten minutes into whatever shitty action movie Denki and Eijirou convinced the group to watch this time. His hands rush to your hips because if Katsuki Bakugou is anything, he's not a goddamn exhibitionist.

"Oi, the fuck are you doing, dumbass? They're gonna fuckin' see."

→ But as always, you take his words with a grain of salt, already blindly fiddling with the buckle of his belt despite his threats (AKA, I'm gonna fuckin' kill you, you fuckin' heathen). The metal clinks for a second and both of you tense, but it seems no one hears it over the movie, so. You relax.

→ Katsuki does not.

→ You wait for a loud crash from the television speakers and you're sinking down on Katsuki's cock, his teeth tearing into your shoulder as he holds back a moan. Both of you let out a shaky breath when you bottom out.

"W-Well? You gonna fuckin' move or what?"

→ You shake your head.

"No? Fuck."

→ And honestly, all is well until about twenty minutes into the movie. At this point, Katsuki's semi-comatose, eyes half-lidded from the surprisingly peaceful warmth you're both encompassed in. But unfortunately, this peace is disturbed by a rude awakening that comes in the form of none other than Denki Kaminari.

→ All he does is mention how Katsuki looks much too out of it, owing it all to "y/n's juicy caboose," but it has your boyfriend practically rearing on his hind legs in fury either way.

→ In the middle of all the commotion, you take the opportunity to wiggle your hips a bit, rendering the majority of Katsuki's arguments repetitive and ineffective. The bickering blond's shut up once Mina calls for it, and Katsuki returns to whisper-yell threats in your ear again.

"Do you want us to get fuckin' caught? Huh? I ca—fuckin' hell—stop movin’!"

→ But you giggle, having a little too much fun with this. The death grip Katsuki has around your thigh implies he’s closer than you thought, and the moment the action in the movie starts to pick up again, so does the steady roll of your hips.

→ Katsuki practically whimpers into your ear, body shaking with restraint because he lacks the proper space to “put you in your place” or however he wants to put it. You know he’s teetering on the edge when he resorts to something Katsuki Bakugou never does—begging.

“Babe—babe c-c’mon please, I don’t wanna—”

→ Katsuki’s nails dig into your thigh and he shivers as he fills you up, bottom teeth digging into his swollen lip. His quiet moans push you off the edge as well, adding to the mess under the blanket as fake explosions emanate from the tv screen.

→ That was...something.

“I hate you so goddamn much.”

→ You snort, rolling your eyes at his overdramatic ass. But?

“...But that was the hottest sex of my fuckin’ life.”

𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀.

→ You and Hanta definitely do this once a month. At least.

→ Getting high with Hanta as your boyfriend is probably one of your favorite things. He's got snacks, cool LED lights, a monitor that constantly plays animal planet while the speakers play lofi. It's an experience.

→ And of course, you two get horny—though sex is a little hard when you're feeling fuzzy. Hanta's a high-functioning stoner but frankly, you're not, and even he gets a little fumbly when it comes down to it. Cockwarming seemed like the only viable option.

→ Half of the time, it's not even that sexual. Watching otters chase each other with his back pressed up against yours as you bask in a familiar warmth that only comes from true human connection is nice. Feeling his lips place butterfly kisses against the column of your neck is nice. Just...being with Hanta is nice.

→ But tonight? Tonight it's definitely sexual.

"So warm, Princess. You know your body does things to me, don't you?"

→ You didn't, but the way he says it definitely makes you believe him, and so does the way he rubs his hands up and down your sides. Hanta bites into your neck and you stifle a moan, balancing yourself on his knees.

→ You jump when his hand ghosts your inner thigh, and he chuckles when you bite your lip, eyes trained on the hand moving between your legs.

"Like it when I rub you like that, Princess? Like it when I turn you into a messy little puddle in my arms, hmm?"

→ You whine and nod, chest shuddering with the threat of an impending orgasm. Hanta curses behind you, the hand holding you steadily by the waist tightening.

"Shit—keep clenching like that and you might make me cum, Princess."

→ Hanta huffs out a laugh but you can hear the genuine implication behind it, can feel it in the pant of his breath against your neck. The thought of making him cum from something so simple has you hurtling towards your orgasm at an alarming speed, nails digging into his forearm as the weight of your marijuana-laced orgasm hits you like a fucking freight train.

→ Hanta moans breathily, eyebrows knitting as his own orgasm catches him by surprise. His hips twitch and it almost sends you flying off his lap but somehow, you don't go tumbling—though you might owe that to the vice grip Hanta has on your hip.

→ You two come down, basking in the gentle blue of the ocean as the chatter from the Australian narrator about the Humpback whales and their baleen teeth fills the room. You move to get up but Hanta whines, hands keeping you still via your waist.

"Lemme stay inside for a bit...'S warm."

[a/n: thanks for stopping by angel, and let me know who you want to see next <3. see you soon!]

—ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀɴ 𝟷𝟾+ ʙʟᴏɢ. ᴍɪɴᴏʀs ᴅɴɪ

#— 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 #— 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀 #— 𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 #bnha headcanons #bnha smut #bnha fanfiction #bakugou headcanons #bakugou smut #bakugou x reader #deku x reader #deku headcanons #deku smut #sero headcanons #sero x reader #sero smut

1K notes · View notes

poisonedlovedarling · 3 years

Text

MLP Gen 5 Theory.

My theory on why Gen 5 had no magic at the beginning of the movie.

(PS spoilers ahead, also I haven't really watched or read other theories so if this has already been said, cool.)

So at the end of Gen 4, we are shown that Twilight has gotten comfortable in her role as Princess and much like how Celestia chose her successor, in Twilight. Twilight has a student of her own Luster dawn. Whom she takes to Ponyville. We are shown that all species are living in harmony together in Ponyville around the school of friendship. We are left to assume Luster dawn is to go on her own adventures until she too becomes a Princess perhaps to replace Twilight. Because although she is an alicorn she will not live nearly as long as Celestia and Luna.

Now at the beginning of the gen 5 movie. We are introduced to a world without magic filled with fear and prejudices. By the end, we are left to assume that the loss of friendship between the clans of ponies led to the downfall and lack of magic in their world.

The gen 4 saying friendship is magic being what we can assume was the basis of this. In the final scene, of the Gen 5s movie where all the pony leaders come together allow magic to once again spread through the world.

Now the movie left a lot of questions unanswered; Where did Twilight fail? Do the Alicorns still exist? Why didn't the Windigos come back when the ponies hated each other? Why did they get torn apart in the first place? What are the crystals? And where did they come from?

Now in gen 4 we are told a lot of tales of how ponies used to be, before the mane 6's story. Some tales of which was about the clans not get along.

The unicorns being in charge of bring day and night, the pegasus controlling the weather. In exchange, the earth ponies grew food for everyone. Which the Earth ponies found unfair. Each group distrusted the other, Earth ponies hated that they could not use magic or fly. This hatred between the clans festered into the dark magic that summoned a dark winter. Which none of them could fight against. Windigos were the source of the summoned dark magic and only fueled the discourse, making the snow worse. It wasn't until the ponies got along that they created a 'fire of friendship' that drove away the cold and Windigos.

However, during this same time, it would take many unicorns to raise the sun and the moon. That was until two unicorns, who eventually became alicorns. Were born with the skill to raise them alone, no help needed.

(Two alicorns who are also presumed dead by gen 5.)

Which makes you wonder if Luna and Celestia are no longer raising and setting the sun and moon. And the unicorns had no magic, who's moving the sun and moon?

This could be answered from another episode. Where when Twilight became a princess she was given basically a button to raise the sun and moon with. So sure they could be using Twilights gadget but even that still requires magic. (I think...)

My theory for are there still alicorns is NO, not until Sunny. (who if you read my last theory might not stay an alicorn)

Now, why do I think that?

First, because the only royalty we see are pegasus, not alicorns and second without magi you can't really transform into one. Last, you could be born as one but it's unlikely, the only natural-born alicorn on record was Flurry Heart. Who more than likely was born as one because she was born of 'true love.'

I think that when Luna and Celestia died their magic was release allowing the sun and moon to rise on their own. (Maybe them basically becoming ethereal forms, they are at least a thousand years old.)

Or their magic was contained in an object that someone in a long line of protectors is using to raise the sun and moon without the need of magic.

Now, where did Twilight fail? Why is the friendship between clans, not a thing?

I think it's because of the big bad three. Aka...Cozy Glow, Queen Chrysalis, and Tirek. I think it was them because they have done it before. Tirek is known for taking magic, Queen is known for causing discourse between ponies by pretending to be them, and Cozy has basically caused an all-out war between clans before as well.

These three are known for causing discord.

The big bad three, either break out of their stone coffins and spread discourse among the ponies. Making magic vanish with friendship. Only to be stopped by Discord and taken to the other world and with no magic left in the pony world, they can't return and are trapped for the rest of their days in the human pony world.

Or one someone tried to do what Twilight and her friends did to Discord. They set the big bad three free on purpose trying to turn them good with friendship. The big bad pretend to go along with it only to betray the ponies causing all magic to fade away along with friendship. With no magic, they grow old and bitter dying in their search for more power.

Discord sad at Fluttershy's eventual passing goes into his void world and never returns afraid of losing everyone he loves.

Now it wouldn't be hard to turn ponies against each other, ponies like King Sombra used mind control. Who says that it wasn't suggested that all unicorns could do it. It's not far-fetched that more powerful ponies came along like Starlight who could do great big scary things.

Earth ponies are often seen as jealous of those around them. Not being able to use any kind of magic. It could also be suggested that the resentment between clans came about because the next Alicorn princess was almost always some kind of unicorn.

Sure Unicorns could get wings but could a pegasus get a horn or earth pony get either? Sunny is in fact the first pony we see get wings, one who wasn't a unicorn first. Resentment could have already been there and the big three played off that.

Now for the Windigos, they didn't return with this discourse because the only three left in existence were taken to another world and trapped there as seen in the pony movies. They can't cause more winter because there are no more of them.

Now last question where did the Crystals come from?

Here are my thoughts... Remember the flame of friendship, the elements of harmony, and the items that might have been left to Twilight to raise the sun and moon? (Those things I mentioned back there...)

I think...With no magic to transform with...Eventually, none could replace the princess, no magic meant no more alicorns.

My thoughts are that the Crystals are either the last reminisce of the tree of harmony, the flame of Friendship, or Luna and Celestia's magic. If not all three.

When friendship failed the tree finally died, no magic meant that the forest couldn't try to take over again.

Because you can't completely take away love and laughter, or friendship. The tree is left as just these three crystals. The flame of friendship left as only a glimmer in the gems. Making them never far from those who are the embodiment of the elements.

The magic they represent allows the crystals, for a while to hold the only magic in the world. Earth ponies are not able to use magic were left to think it was nothing putting it away as just a pretty bobble. Going on surviving like they always did without magic.

Unicorns probably were able to use small amounts of what magic was left, perhaps only when they said the forbidden words as activation. Magic probably being unstable made them fear it, made even them paranoid. Eventually, when magic was all gone they lost hope and weren't productive in trying to move on.

Maybe proximity to the Pegasus crystal allowed some fly. This is why the Royals held it, they kept the last of their magic close. Until there was none left and they were left to fake it.

It wasn't until the seed of friendship was planted at the end of gen 5's movie and the magic reignited. The flame of friendship shiny brightest in the mane character who held hope and friendship closest in her heart.

But those are just my theories/ thoughts.

Well sorry for the long post. Tell me what you think in the comments. And what are your theories on the gems?

#mlp gen 5 #MLP #mlp g4 #mlp theory #Theory #random thoughts #my little pony a new generation

24 notes · View notes

nagito-kissmaeda · 3 years

Text

Alone at the Edge of a Universe - Komaeda x Reader

Summary: You were in an accident before everything went to hell. You don't remeber how it all started. Now you live in a small apartment with a strange man who seems to be trying his best to look after you, but doesnt know how to take care of himself.

AKA: oh my god they were roommates.....Despair Edition TM

Word count: 7169 Contains: fem reader, no pronouns usage, explict sexual content, unsafe sex, very mild blood/injury, panic attacks, despair era Read on AO3 ミ☆ Please send me a DM or an ask if you’d like me to write something for you!

There’s an explosion outside your window, and something huge tumbles to the ground. Everything in the apartment is shaking, Knick-knacks wobble and fall off the mantle, smashing on the floor, the bed frame shakes and lurches underneath you. Your fingers are digging tight into the quilt, trying to find purchase somewhere in the quake.

It is not your first collapsing building, and you fear it will not be your last. The world outside the apartment is dangerous and frightening, layers upon layers of horror folded together into the culmination of true despair. You don’t remember how it happened. It was some time ago (weeks? Months? Years?) that you woke up in a hospital, weak and emancipated, barely able to walk. You had been in some sort of accident, whatever happened to the world, started while you were still comatose and all the doctors were long gone when you finally came to. The fact that your life support was even still running was a stroke of luck.

There’s another thundering outside, but this one doesn’t make the house shake. Another building? You can't be sure, it was too far away to be of any danger to you so there is no reason to think about it. Instead you pull yourself up from the bed, bringing one foot down on the floor and being absolutely sure that there won't be any aftershocks before standing up properly. There are little broken pieces of glass and china all over the wooden floorboards, you cross the room on your tip-toes, careful to avoid any of the more dangerous looking shards. It is as you feared, your favorite knick-knack had also broken. You drop into a crouch, trying your best to gather the shattered pieces of what had once been a small glass jar full of little keepsakes.

Your housemate (if you could call him that) frequently brings back little presents from his adventures out into the fractured city. But this had been your favorite, a blue jar with a cork stopper, full of buttons, beads, marbles. Any pretty trinkets he could find for you. The shattering of this particular gift hurts something terrible, because you know it took him a very long time to collect it all. You manage to find a sturdier jar that survived the quake (it was once holding three stems of lavender, long since dead) and scoop as many of the shards and trinkets that you can inside. It isn't as pretty, but it will do for now.

He’s been gone for a week now, and you are hoping he will be back today.

When he first brought you to the apartment, you couldn't even stand. Confused and scared about what had happened to the world during your coma, and having trouble remembering what your life was like before either. The apartment was a mess when he first found it, but there was a bed and clean sheets in a closet, so it was fine. He sat with you for hours, barely moving, just watching as you slipped in and out of consciousness, as the world finally came into focus. At first you were afraid of him, of his dishevelled appearance, trembling limbs and wide watery eyes. He never made any move to touch you, he sat there and would answer questions if you asked them, but otherwise just watched.

Once you were able to move on your own, he started heading outside for longer stretches of time. He used to just leave for a few hours each week to bring you back enough food until his next trip, but now he is often gone for days at a time. You wonder how long it will be before you can go outside with him. He is strange, but given the state of the world outside, you can’t imagine anyone else is faring much better.

You manage to salvage a decent amount of the broken trinkets and either pour them into a vacant jar or the trash and are in the middle of sweeping away any remaining shards when you hear a shaky knock on the door. He has a key, but he always knocks anyway. You let the broom drop to the ground and dash over to the door to let him in.

“Hey…” you say, pulling the door open. His red striped sweater has more holes in it than it did last you saw him, his hair curled and messy, more grey than white. His disheveled appearance means little, you are thrilled to see him, “Welcome home.”

His eyes are desperate as he looks you over, crossing the threshold of the apartment and closing the door behind him, “The quake...are you okay?”

“I stayed in bed the whole time, I’m fine.” You attempt to take his rucksack from him, to help him carry it to the kitchen. He pulls it away from you and carries it on his own, “A bunch of the gifts you brought me fell off the mantle, though. I should have been keeping them somewhere safer, I’m sorry.”

He wheezes, giggling under his breath as he starts pulling food out from the rucksack and onto the bench, “Don’t waste such sweet apologies on me. I can find more gifts if you want them.”

With you standing in the sitting room, and him unloading groceries in the kitchen. In a different time, this may have been domestic. Your heart warms at the thought, “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to cause you any more trouble.”

“Trouble?” He doubles over with laughter, the sound is scratchy in his throat, “You could never cause me any trouble.”

He doesn’t look like he belongs in the nice clean apartment. He stands in the middle of the room, all shaking limbs and wheezy breaths, clutching his own arms like it’s the only thing still keeping him together, but you can tell he is trying, he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable around him.

“Are you okay?” You ask, “you were outside when it happened”

He giggles breathlessly, gnawing on the cuff of his sleeve, “you are worried about me?” His knees shake like they're about to give out and he buzzes with manic energy, “Aha! the extent of your hope, it’s incomparable!”

You suddenly notice a line of blood running down from his forehead, curling down past his eyebrow and over his cheekbone. You rush over to him and take his face in your hands. His skin is pallid and sickly, his lips chapped and bleeding. You push his mess of dirty hair away from his forehead and gasp, “you’re really hurt, why didn't you tell me?”

He doesn’t say anything, he’s just staring at you with wet unblinking eyes as a wide smile tugs at his lips. Shuddering under the soft grip of your hands. The gash on his forehead is shallow, but blood is gushing out of it quite quickly and you aren’t really sure what to do. As you look closer at the wound, his eyes flutter shut and you feel him leaning into your palm. Your heart thunders in your chest, he’s cute under all the dirt and grime.

He cares for you a great deal, you aren't sure why. He won't even tell you his name.

“I’ll wash it out for you. Okay?” You say, taking one of his hands in yours and tugging him towards the bathroom. The one gentle tug on his hand is enough that he almost topples over, but he rights himself quickly. His hand is quivering in yours.

“Oh! You don't need to do that!” he protests, but continues obediently following after you, “I’ve dealt with much worse, aha! Don't bother dirtying your hands to fix something that will only break again.”

You grab him by the shoulders and lower him down onto the toilet seat. His big eyes peer up at you from behind the mass of hair now tumbling down over his face, he watches you with a pointed devotion that might make you uncomfortable if you weren't already used to it. He brings his sleeve up to his mouth to chew on it again, you take his hand in yours and lower it before he gets the chance, “I’ll be gentle. Don’t worry.”

His nails dig into the meat of his thighs and he is shivering again. You can feel his legs bouncing as you lean forward to take a better look at the gash on his forehead, he whines when he feels your fingers brush his hair away from his face. You sigh at him, “You know this will get infected if you don't clean it, don't you?”

He whimpers, practically rattling as his tremors get worse, “How kind of you to notice! But I have more important matters to attend to of course.” another bout of laughter boils through him, shaking his bony shoulders,“like you, for instance!”

You drop to a crouch so you can meet his eyes, resting one hand on his shoulder and holding his hair back with the other, “You can't look after me if you’re dead.”

“Oh I won't die.” He breathes, the depths of his eyes shining with a shocking lucidity, “Not yet.”

He really believes that. You can see it on his face, “Either way. I’m going to clean it. Sit tight.”

Sitting tight is not possible. To his credit, he doesn't move on purpose, but he is still shaking intensely as he waits for you. His protruding knees knocking as his legs bounce up and down. You purse your lips and wet a cloth in the sink, the water is a little brown, but all of the water is a little brown so there isn't much you can do about it.

“Okay.” You say, turning back to him and lifting the cloth to his forehead, “Let me know if it stings too much, alright?”

He nods, smiling up at you pleasantly as you bring the cloth down on the gash. There is a lot of blood, the coppery smell is overwhelming but you try your best to seem like it isn't affecting you. If there is any pain, it doesn't seem to be bothering him, his eyes are closed again and he is leaning gently into your touch. Your heart warms for him, and the hand you are using to hold his hair out of his face starts gently scratching his scalp. You hear him gasp, but he makes no move to stop you. His hair is soft, you can feel the grit of dirt and smoke caught up in it, but under that...he is so soft. The blood running down his face is well clean by now, but you don't stop. The washcloth falls from your hand with a splat and his eyes snap open. One of your hands is buried in his hair, combing the mess through your gentle fingers, the other traces the sharp line of his jaw, all the way up to and then down his cheekbone.

“What are you doing?” He asks, you are dimly aware that his shaking has stopped. At least for now.

Your pointer finger runs up the bridge of his nose and over his right eyebrow, now you are the one shaking, “I...don’t know.”

“You’re touching me.” He breathes

Your voice is barely a whisper when you reply, “I am.” you let your hand drop, “I’m sorry. I don't know why i did that.”

He reaches out and takes your hand in his, pressing it firmly to his cheek. His eyes are wild, “You can do whatever you want to me! I don't mind!”

His suggestion raises an unwarranted heat to your cheeks. You gently tug your hand from his grasp, “There’s some vodka in the cupboard. Give me a moment to disinfect you.”

You pick the cloth up off the ground and leave it on the side of the sink as you walk over to the kitchen. All of the food he brought back with him is still strewn about on the countertop, abandoned when you realised how badly hurt he was. You worry about him. Constantly. He was the one who found you half crawling, half stumbling through the desolate remains of the city mere hours after you woke up in the crumbling shell of the hospital. Since then he has been so careful of you, making sure you are well fed, bringing you gifts or clothes, anything he can find out there. He clearly doesn't extend the same olive branch to himself. You stand up on your toes to grab the alcohol from the top shelf, it was already here when he first found the apartment. Half empty. You hope whoever lived here before you had enjoyed it.

“This is going to hurt.” You warn as you step back into the bathroom. He nods loosely and you wring the cloth out as best you can before dousing it in the vodka, “Are you ready?”

“Pain or pleasure,” he starts, looking up at you with a loopy smile, “anything I feel by your hand is exhilarating.”

Oh. You liked that . It made something in the pit of your stomach twist.

You clear your throat and crouch down in front of him, pushing his hair out of the way. His eyes are half lidded, and you can tell he is uncomfortably lucid. He intimidates you a little like this, there is a sharp intellect behind his big green eyes that feels like he is dissecting you with his stare alone. Even though he has stilled quite a bit, his hands are still jittering at his sides. You gently press the alcohol soaked rag to the gash in his forehead, he hisses through his smiling teeth, but the sound teeters dangerously close to being a moan. You swallow, continuing your ministrations.

“Did you get hurt anywhere else?” You ask, purposely focussing on cleaning his wound so you don't have to meet his eyes.

“No.” He says. It doesn't sound like he’s lying.

“Okay.” You reply, “I trust you, but you can't hide these things from me. I have a duty to keep you safe, too.”

A shudder runs through him at your words and his eyes flutter shut. Like he is savoring it, “You are too generous, truly.” his voice is so breathy, and your positioning makes it sound like he is whispering in your ear. You bite your lip.

“It is not generosity.” You laugh a little, your fingers tangling in his hair again, “It’s selfishness. You are all I have and I don't want to lose you.”

He is shaking again, his long fingers grasping at nothing. Like he desperately wants to hold you but knows he can't . His arms wrap around himself instead, fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket as he rocks back and forth, “Aha! A regular Pylades you are, looking after trash like me!”

You have long since abandoned any pretense. Not even pretending to be tending to his wound anymore, your fingers brush through his hair unhindered, “Pylades?” you ask, twisting a lock of pale hair around your index finger. Surprised with how much classic literature he’s managed to remember through all this tragedy, this is not the first time he has quoted one such piece to you.

“From Euripides!” he’s grinning now, lips curled almost painfully wide, “You need me to jog your memory, hm?” He asks, leaning forward. He is very close to you now, and your hand freezes in his hair, “Orestes says ‘it’s rotten work’ and Pylades replies-”

Oh. You do know this one.

“Not to me.” You breathe, heart thumping in your chest and mouth going dry. Your hand slides down from his hair to cup his cheek, you can feel his pulsepoint racing like a hummingbird under your thumb. He is so close now, you can see flecks of gold in his eyes. You can count his eyelashes. You are shaking, “Not if it’s you.”

For a moment, you think you are going to kiss him. For a moment, you want to kiss him. Instead you let your hand drop from his cheek and stand back up, “It’s um...it’s as clean as im going to get it. Might need stitches, but i dont have the means or the skill to do that for you.”

He brings his arms up in a shrug, “No matter. So long as you’re satisfied.”

“This isn't about my satisfaction.” You say, crossing your arms, “You need to take better care of yourself out there. Look, maybe next time i should come with you and-”

He shoots upright, suddenly towering above you, all quivering limbs and sweaty palms, “Nonononono. You have to-” he sucks in a wheezy breath and shakes his head, “-you have to stay in here. For you to be tainted by the world outside, the despair it would-” a breathy laugh escapes his lips, growing and growing in volume, his hands tanging his hair pulling strands out at the roots, “-It would be glorious .” He growls, shaking and panting as he starts hitting himself in the head with his fist and a crescendo of, “nononononononono” is erupting from the cavern of his mouth.

It is frightening, but you are used to it. He gets in these fits sometimes, but has never attempted to hurt you, it’s more like he’s fighting himself. You wrap both your hands around his wrist, holding his arm still so he can’t use it to hit himself anymore before slowly bringing it back down to his side. He is still shaking with a mania that seeps out through every pore, but at least he isn't hurting himself. His mouth runs a mile a minute, arguing with both himself and people you have never met. He talks to them a lot, these other people, you don't want to ask him about them.

“Hey.” you whisper, “I’m here. It’s okay.”

His big eyes turn to you, but he doesn't calm. He is still muttering and shaking, but this is okay. You start slowly rubbing your hands up and down the length of his forearms, “You’re doing fine, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

He whines and brings one of his sleeves up to his mouth to gnaw on it. You don't stop him, when he gets like this it’s one of his less destructive habits. It's preferable to scratching. You keep rubbing his free arm, your other hand curled around his hip. His eyes are slowly growing less wild, drool is dripping down his chin, “Alright. We’re going to move to the couch. Nice and slow.”

You loop his arm over your shoulders and tuck your other hand into his back pocket, slowly walking him over to the couch. This is the main reason you haven't left the apartment, the door unlocks from the inside so if you really wanted to, you could leave at any time. You’re scared though, both of what is waiting out in the city, and of what will happen to him if he comes back one day to find you gone. He is finally starting to calm when you lower him down onto the couch, still chewing absently on his sleeve, but his breathing has slowed a little. A soft smile tugs at your lips, and you tuck some of his hair behind his ear.

“Why do you worry about me so much?” You ask, more to yourself than to him. Stroking his cheekbone with the pad of your thumb, “I am no one to you.”

He is tired now after his episode, his arm is slow and shaky as he reaches out to you, resting his hand in the dip of your waist. The warmth of his skin seeps in through your shirt, your heart climbs up into your throat when he squeezes , “You are hope. You are everything to me.” his eyes are half lidded, and his smile is soft, “The corruption, the despair it...haahaa...it tainted us all, but you-” he takes a deep, shuddering breath, “-you slept right through it. You’re still hopeful...still perfect…”

“And if I hadn't. What would I be to you then?”

“Dead, most likely.” He sighs and it rattles through his chest, “Is there even a point to talking about what might have been? In my experience it has never helped any.”

He’s right. You hate the idea of a reality where you never meet him. This realisation makes your stomach turn. Familiarity breeds comfort, but when what is familiar is a man who is (under dirt and grime and sweat) incredibly beautiful, you find that it breeds something else as well. You give the hand on your waist a pat, and he lets you go.

“The sun is setting.” You say, trying to distract yourself from how much you want his hand against you again, “I’m going to light some candles before it gets dark.”

“Oh! Before you do.” He manages to pull himself up from the couch and stumbles over to his rucksack, bending over and rummaging through it some, “I hm...i found something for you.”

You stand in the middle of the room, the last dregs of daylight are casting an orange light over his shaking form. He comes back over to you, holding out his offering, for a moment you're not even sure what it is.

“Oh my god…” You whisper, turning it over in your hands. It’s a polaroid camera, a little banged up but it looks like it will still work, “thank you.” you smile up at him, heart melting to nothing in your chest, “thank you so much.”

He laughs a little, shaking as he passes another two objects over to you, “I only found two film cartridges, but i can look for more!”

“No! This is perfect, I'm amazed you even managed to find two.”

“My luck may not be worth much.” He says with a sad smile, “but if i’m able to bring you some happiness with it, then i'm glad!”

“Here, just...give me a second.” Your hands are shaking as you fumble with the first cartridge, popping open the back of the camera and clicking it in. Before he has a chance to protest (because you know he will) you lift the camera up to your eye and snap a photo. For a moment he is dazzled by the flash, but then immediately starts wheezing.

“Wha....What?” His knees are wobbling again, his eyes are wide and unblinking.

The photo slides out of the camera and you grab it between your index finger and thumb, giving it a light shake, “I took a photo of you.”

“Why would you do that?” He’s laughing, but it sounds more confused than it does manic, “You only have two cartridges of film and you would waste a photo on garbage like me?”

“I don't think it was a waste.” The photo has just about finished developing, the light from the flash doesnt do his already pale skin any favors, but you smile all the same, “Sometimes you’re gone for a long time, and if i can't come with you then...i dunno, it’ll be nice to have.”

“You...miss me?”

You see no reason to lie, “I miss you.”

He is just staring at you now, eyes slowly examining every inch of your face. Your heart is racing. He takes a slow, shaky step towards you, practically vibrating with nervous energy.

“I shouldn't.” He says, even as his trembling hand rests on your hip, the pads of his fingers slipping up under your shirt to stroke your skin, “I’m disgusting for even thinking about all that I want to do with you.” His grip on your hip grows tighter, and you feel a warmth in your stomach, “If you knew...eheh...if you could see what i was thinking right now.” his breathing has quickened, and the hand on your hip is trembling. So are your legs, “you’d kick me out of this apartment like the...the...haahhaa...the perverted trash that i am.”

Any thoughts within you about resisting or denying him have long dissipated. You do not even hesitate as you loop an arm behind his head, digging your fingers into the back of his hair, “I wouldn't.”

He doesn't say anything, he’s just looking at you and trembling. A whiny moan escaping his lips.

“The things you want to do to me…” You start, fingers slipping under his striped sweater, just enough to feel his skin, “Show me.”

His hand joins its brother on your hips, and he tugs you towards him. Your lips colliding in a desperate kiss, all tangled tongues and nipping teeth. You moan into his open mouth, your fingers tangling even tighter in the mess of hair on the back of his head, he groans when you tug a little harder, slipping one of his hands up the front of your shirt and palming you over your bra. You cling to each other like two lost sailors adrift in the sea, attempting to find purchase in a world long gone. Your kisses open mouthed, wet and sloppy, desperate and needy. He is moaning and shaking, his long fingers tightly squeezing your breast as his other arm wraps around your waist and somehow tugs you even closer. He is so thin, pressed up against him like this you can feel his bones shifting under his skin. You bite his neck so hard you taste copper on your tongue and a moan explodes from his lips.

“Yes... yes! ” He stammers, drooling and shaking. His mouth pulled in such a wide smile that his lips tear and bleed, “hurt me...hng-hahAHA... destroy me !”

Your hands become frantic, grabbing his jacket and tugging it down his arms. His sweatshirt soon follows, ripped up over his head with a tenacity you didn't even know you had. You want to feel his skin, to suck, to bite, to bury your nails in it. Desperation is building inside you, almost ready to overflow. His skin is salty with sweat when you run your tongue over the length of his collarbone, fingers on your left hand running over each jutting rib as you slip your hand down to grasp his hip. The bone is sharp under the soft skin of your palm. Despite all his sweating and panting, his flesh is still cold under your hand, you want to warm him up. You tug your own shirt up over your head, chucking it behind you and unclasping your bra.

A wheezing laugh escapes him, he pushes his hair away from his face but it immediately falls back down again, “You...you’re…” his breath hitches, his pointer finger traces the underside of breast, shaky and cold, “you’re so soft...so warm .” he moans, licking his lips, “my goddess...would you permit me to pleasure you with my mouth?” he purrs. His eyes are swirling with arousal, his hand creeping up to massage your breast in his palm. It feels so good, he feels so good. He looks at you with this endless devotion, like you are something precious to be protected and loved .

“My guardian angel.” you whisper, tucking a wisp of hair behind his ear, “Whatever you want to do to me. Do it.”

His ghostly green eyes are blown wide, and he is wheezing again, “You just...what did you just call me?”

“I would have died out there on my own. You know that right?” You say, leaning in close enough that the tips of your breasts brush against his bare chest and cupping his cheek in your palm, “You saved my life. You are my guardian angel.”

“You are too kind to me, truly.” He whispers, his cold hands moving to your shoulders as he guides you backwards, “I am little more than garbage after all.” the back of your knees hit the couch and you collapse onto it, “Just a bug under the heel of an ultimate’s shoe...but you...hm…” he drops to his knees in front of you, his grin is all sharp teeth and drool. Some people might have been afraid of him, you thought he was the hottest fucking thing you’ve ever seen, “you deserve to be worshipped .” he breathes against your skin, leaning in and wrapping his lips around one of your nipples. His mouth is warm and wet, you throw your head back in a wail, digging your fingers into the mess of hair on his head.

His hand slides up the side of your ribcage, thumb rubbing small practiced circles around your other nipple. A needy moan escapes your lips, and your legs drop open almost instinctively. He scrambles forward to nestle himself between them, the sharp angles of his torso dig into the soft flesh of your thighs and his free arm wraps around your waist to tug to two of you even closer together. A strangled cry rips through you as the bare skin of his chest presses firmly against your sex, hips bucking against him almost involentarily, overcome with a desire to just feel him . He laughs against your breast, sinking his teeth into your flesh as his tongue continues lathing across your pert nipple.

“Mm...you’re so soft…” He whispers, resting his cheek on the plump skin of your breast, “your skin is so smooth…” His other hand is still toying with your nipple, rolling it in between the calloused pads of his thumb and forefinger, “haaAAH...I’m so lucky. You permitting scum like me to pleasure you? Your kindness is...hm, how could I put it?” his tongue darts out to give your nipple a lick, you shiver, “It is inexorable ”

“Wrong again.”, You laugh breathily, carting your fingers through his unruly hair, “This is no kindness. This is desire, unflinching. I want you so badly, selfishly .”

A raspy giggle escapes him, shaking his shoulders as he pulls his arms from you to wrap them around himself instead, “Someone like you getting so riled up over someone like me...eheh…” His hands are shaking when he brings them back down to your waist, gripping the elastic waistband of your sweatpants, “The ideas I have - the things I want to do with my fingers,” he starts pulling your pants down. You lift yourself up a little to help him pull them over your hips, warmth blooming in your cheeks, he moans at the mere sight of your panties, “f-fuck…” he whines, all drool and sweat, “i want to finger you until i die . Oh... oh god… ” he’s kneeling lower down now, you can feel him shaking between your thighs, “you smell so good...i want to eat you until there's nothing left. Like you’re my last meal…” his hands come up and grip your thighs tight, he leans in closer to your center and you can barely hold in a moan when you feel his nose bump against the wet spot on your panties. You don't hold in the moan when you feel his tongue. You aren't sure you could if you tried, it tears out of you, the one swipe of his tongue over your soaked panties is like a bolt of lightning to your cunt.

He continues like this for a while, moaning and shaking as he drags his tongue up and down your panties. Occassionally suckling your clit through the fabric. His bony fingers dig so tight in the soft flesh of your thighs that you swear you’ll have bruises tomorrow morning. After one particularly brutal suck, all you can do is sob, pulling his hair so tight that his lips are torn away from your centre.

“Something wrong?” He asks, playing innocent, but the look in his eye is cool and intelligent.

You heave a shaky breath, staring down at him, “Take them off. Please! ”

You swear you see his hips twitch at your demand. Eyes glazing over and tongue lolling out of his mouth as he hooks his fingers through the legs of your panties and tugs them down, leaving them to dangle off your left ankle. A whimper escapes you at the feeling of his breath against your wetness, his hands are hovering above you, shaking in the air like he isn't sure what to do with them. He wants to touch everything, he just can't decide where to start.

In the end, his left hand comes to rest at your hip, while his right middle and ring fingers push their way inside you. Your head lolls backward and your mouth drops open with a long moan at the feeling. His fingers are longer than yours are. A lot longer.

“I can feel you... twitching around me.” he makes a strangled noise, half a laugh, half a moan and pistons his fingers slowly in and out of you. The sound it makes is obscene , but it seems to only encourage him further. He leans in, and wraps his lips around your clit, sucking gently and occasionally flicking it with his tongue. Your hips buck reflexively, trying to get closer to his mouth.

“Ahh - ah! You taste so sweet...” he whispers against you, his breath cold on your burning flesh, “I - mmph...i feel like adam biting the apple...or persephone swallowing the pomegranate seeds...haah…” he removes his fingers, and his tongue slips inside you, swirling around before he returns his attention to your clit, “But which do you think it will be, hm? Will i be forced to leave you, or will i be bound to you for all eternity?” his eyes meet yours, boiling with passion and desire. He looks godlike between your thighs, grinning up at you with sharp teeth and the sheen of your own slick all over his chin. All you can do is shake and moan, quivering for want of him, “Care to try your luck answering the million dollar question, my goddess?”

“Never leave me…” you say, chest heaving. You reach down and cup his face in your hand, “I will never ask you to leave me.”

“Never?” he asks, his smile growing manic and his nails digging into your thighs. You hiss at the pain, “A dangerous promise.” His tongue enters you again and he moans sinfully against your skin, slowly thrusting the wet muscle in and out of you. His hands slip down under you and he lifts you up by you ass, pulling your sex even closer to his face. You whimper and moan and grind against him. Fingers tangled in the mess of his hair as he tongue fucks you into oblivion.

He’s whining and groaning, devouring you like a man starved, and when you feel the couch lurch, you realise he is also desperately grinding his cock into the front of it. You tug on his hair again, weaker than last time as the wobbly feeling of pleasure has overtaken you. He slowly draws back from your sex, licking his lips and staring up at you with his intimidating eyes, “Mm?”

A shaky breath rattles through your lungs and you lean forward to kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips, “I want you inside of me. Would that be okay?”

“I was already inside you.” He says, smirking and sticking out his tongue as a reminder.

“You know what i mean.” Your eyes flit down to the tent in his jeans, making what you really want even more obvious than it already is.

“You spoil me.” He breathes, pressing a wet kiss to your jawline, “You couldn’t possibly know how desperately I want to sink myself inside you...but I- haaahh ...I am not worthy of such an intimate act.” His fingers reach out, and slowly begin circling your clit, you choke on a moan, “I am more than happy to pleasure you like this...no need to worry about my satisfaction.”

“But I want to see you come undone.” You hiss as his index finger circles you entrance, “I want you on top of me, inside of me. I-“ his finger pushes inside and your breath catches, “-I want you to fuck me. Please .”

A giggle bursts from his lips that quickly grows into a cackle. His shoulders shaking with its intensity, a line of drool dripping down his chin, he throws his arms wide and shoots you a manic grin. All teeth and gums, “If that is what you truly desire, then it would be pointless to deny you any further!” He clambors up from the floor, stumbling a little as he struggles to remove his jeans, “After all, I want you as well.” He purrs, his jeans and boxers dropping to the floor, “More than that…” he breathes, lowering you by your shoulders until you are lying back on the couch and nestling himself in between your open legs. Your heart is racing, he is hovering over you now. His lips barely a breath from yours, and the head of his cock brushing against your sex. He groans, “My goddess, I hunger for you.”

He hisses a breath in through his teeth as he starts pushing himself into you. Hips shaking as he resists the urge to shove himself in with one long stroke, his eyes roll back into his head and he moans. The feeling of him slowly entering you, combined with watching the strangled ecstasy on his face, it’s the most aroused you’ve ever been. You can feel yourself clenching around him, your own hips quivering as he finally bottoms out inside of you with a raspy groan, “So wet…” he hisses, “You feel so good around me…” he slips one of his hands down between the both of you, rubbing gentle circles around you clit. You keen loudly at the feeling and his hips stutter into yours, “Y-you like that, huh? I felt you tighten around me…”

You nod loosely, struggling to speak through your moans, “Please...move…”

He visibly shudders at your request, slowly inching his hips backward, and then forward again at full force. A moan that shifts to laugh halfway through escapes his lips, and he finally sets his rhythm. His hips snap against yours with a desperate fervor, he whines and mewls above you, his hair bouncing delicately with the movement. Eyes half lidded and drool slowly dripping down his chin. You look up at him in absolute awe, he looks and sounds like an angel . Covered in grime, twisted and tangled, but an angel all the same. His fingers return to your clit and you moan again, digging your nails into the skin of his back, tracing the protruding vertebrae with your fingertips.

A particularly deep thrust causes a choked sob to break forth from his lips, his head lolls forward and he nuzzles into the join between your shoulder and neck, “You’re perfect .” he breathes, hips still pumping, “I’m throbbing...can you feel it? Can you feel what you are doing to me?”

You can . You can feel the warmth of his cock pulsing inside of you. His arms are trembling and his breath is a rapid staccato, he’s trying to maintain his composure, “You feel so good, sweetheart.” you whisper, running your fingers through his hair. He breath hitches when you call him sweetheart .

“You are so kind to me…” He wheezes, his breath warm against the column of your throat. You shiver, a strangled moan escaping you as his dexterous fingers circle your clit even faster. Your thighs tighten around his narrow waist, hips grinding against the meat of his palm and deeper onto his cock. All you can do is shake and moan, the muscles in your stomach tight and only growing tighter. He looks at your face, visibly euphoric, “are you close?”

You nod and he drags his tongue up the shell of your ear, “Jeez...I can’t believe trash like me is going to make you cum.” His eyes are wide when they meet yours, lips pulled tight in a grin, “You’re going to cum for me!” His hips move against yours at a frantic pace, his hands groping any part of you he can reach, a laugh in his chest building to a crescendo as he hits deeper and deeper inside of you, “You’re going to cum around me and I’m going to feel it...I-haaaaHAAAAA-“ he can’t speak any more, he’s laughing and moaning and fucking into you with an unbridled desperation.

“You need to...cum...Ah~ I want you to cum too…” you swallow, words catching in your throat when his fingers start working your clit again, “Cum inside me, angel. Please .”

“In-Inside?” He stutters, breath heaving and teeth clenched as he grows closer and closer to climax, “You would permit me to soil your insides with my filthy seed?”

“I don’t just permit you. I’m begging you! ” Your hips are canting up to meet his, wanting to feel him as deep inside you as possible. Drawing yourself tantalisingly close to orgasm, “I want to see you, to feel you. Come undone for me, please.”

His breath hitches, and his eyes grow dark. His fingers begin circling your clit at a brutal pace, his mouth collides with yours in a desperate kiss, all tongue and clicking teeth. You moan loudly into his open mouth, legs twitching underneath his frantic ministrations. His fingers on your clit, his cock pumping in and out of you, his tongue tangled with yours. The heat in the pit of your stomach is boiling, your breath is coming in gasps. It feels so good.

“You’re mine.” He whispers against your lips, and you swear you hear a sob catching in his throat, “accept me, please. Cum for me, my love.”

With those words, he kisses you firmly, thrusting deep and slow inside of you, and the coil in your stomach finally snaps as you cum with a strangled moan. Dragging your nails down his spine and curling your toes, warmth settles through your entire body and it feels like a perfect finality. He whines against your lips, grinding and writhing as you walls clench around him, then his eyes flutter closed and his mouth drops open in the most beautiful moan you’ve ever heard, and he cums .

His face softens in that moment, and for just a second, he looks normal. Like someone you might pass on the street or sit next to in class. You see him , and your heart turns to butter. You love him. Slowly, the speed of his thrusts peter out and he heaves a breath, eyes half lidded, giving you satisfied (albeit sleepy) smile. You return it, brushing your fingers down his cheekbone.

“Thank you.” He whispers, eyes moist with what will soon be tears.

You curl your hand around the back of his head and tug his forehead down to your lips. His skin tastes like sweat, “No. Thank you .”

He leaves the next morning. Unlike all the other times before, he never comes back.

#komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #komaeda nagito #super danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa x reader #i just keep busting these out huh?

104 notes · View notes

moosoobi · 3 years

Text

Confessions

In the night: Chapter 2

T.Jeff- Hamilton: the musical

Y/N can’t hold all her secrets. She’s tired of hiding. The people deserve the truth. Here’s her confession: the one she should’ve told us long ago

I started to write this chapter the day after I finished chapter 1, yet before the first chapter was even published (time management queen). As I’m typing this message, I’m currently distracting myself from finals LMAO. Anyway, I wanted to finish this chapter as soon as possible to give some explanation of the events in the previous chapter, so I hope I do exactly that. I’m still manifesting that I articulate through this story smoothly, please give me feedback <3

MC (aka Y/N’s) POV

Modern au

Word Count: 5.4k

A few unrealistic realities, but I’m working with what I got

This chapter will most likely answer many questions about chapter 1

THIS CHAPTER OCCURS AT THE SAME TIME AS CHAPTER 1! all events in this chapter line up with the events of chapter 1

Disclaimers:

TW: violence, abuse, mentions of blood, themes of injury, itty bitty angst?

photo not mine <3

If you have any questions/concerns about this story, DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME! This is my first time writing a whole series, so I apologize if the plot gets confusing.

-Now Playing: Broken Clocks by SZA-

Where to start…

My attention was taken from Professor Washington’s lecture the moment I felt a pair of eyes attempting to pierce a hole in the back of my head. As I look back, I realize that it’s no one other than Thomas Jefferson, the spoiled francophile, or so people like the whisper, but gossip’s not my thing.

Upon being called out by Professor Washington, I couldn’t hold in my giggle as Thomas’s head ducks down in embarrassment. I suppose he sure knows how to lighten the demeanor in the lecture hall; It was a nice excuse to take my eyes off of Washington’s low-quality power-point presentation, but I appreciate that the man is trying.

This class feels like it’ll last forever, and I contemplate if I could just perish in my seat at this very instant, yet Thomas’s presence seems to make it worthwhile. I don’t know him that much, or maybe at all for that matter, but since he’s been seen with a Schuyler, the locals around here can’t seem to keep their mouths shut about him.

From what I’ve heard, he’s another silver-spoon raised boy representing Virginia up here in New York. A few scholarships here and there, as well as a trip to France for a semester. I don’t see what all the fuss is about; He seems like a pretty cool person, probably has an exciting life, and isn’t throwing away his shot. It’s odd, even with parents to piggyback off of, Thomas is very similar to a certain orphan I know.

“Class is dismissed” Is all I heard from Professor Washington’s mouth before that obnoxious but relieving bell sounds off.

Desperate to get out of this class, I hurry to put my stationery items into my burgundy-magenta backpack. You’d think after those turbulent years of high school that college would motivate me for fancier bags, but I can’t say no to my favorite color. It’s simple, won’t bring attention to my presence, unlike every other decision I’ve made in my life.

After I finally finished packing up, I can’t wait to take a breath of the fresh, polluted air of New York City. I quickly spotted my roommate's car within the crowd of vehicles next to the sidewalk. He’s on time, as always, to pick me up from class, and I’m grateful that he sacrifices his time for me, but it’s not like he had a choice. I toss my bag into the trunk, surely crinkling a few important papers. Upon reaching the door of his expensive car, my roommate greets me with joy to see me.

“How was class, Cherie?”

Lafayette, my roommate, shoots a smile at me, his white teeth are almost blinding, but he always says I’m exaggerating.

“Boring as always, but I’m still here, sadly” I say as I hop into the front seat of Lafayette’s car. He pouts in my direction

“Ahh, c’mon, don’t be like that.” Once he acknowledges the buckling of my seatbelt, he begins to power up the car. “C’est la vie, Y/N” I roll my eyes, my hatred for him grows just a little more every time he says that.

“Can we get McDonald’s?” I attempt to change the subject, earning a small chuckle from him. He prepares to drive off “You know I can't say no to you and your American junk food”

And so we begin to drive off

Lafayette and I indeed have a bit of history together. After I got mistakenly involved with Alexander and his clique, Lafayette was the next best (or worse) person to walk into my life. He’s sweet, charming, probably all the things Americans are not; the gentleman hails from France. Yet he’s so much more than that.

Ever since I caught his eye at that obnoxious high school party, he and I hit the ground running. Disclosing the events which took place in his-

our bedroom won’t solve the problem, but the stubble on his jaw and the way he holds the steering wheel with one hand nearing my thigh reminds me of the unresolved sexual tension between the both of us.

I’ve only been living in his apartment for a few months, an idea he proposed when I mentioned my dreadful rent. A nice view, nice coffee maker, and nice bedsheets were more than enough to convince me, but I know there’s more to that “nice” list that I shouldn’t disclose.

Though I know his intentions were good, I’m sure he invited me into his abode to protect me from Alex.

Since I began to band with Alex and his gang, Alexander’s been strict about getting me home on time. It wasn’t only because I was a helpless high school student, but also to prevent me from ratting him and his group out to the authorities.

Upon joining Alex's posse, a strict curfew has been placed on me, only to ensure I stay safe at night, or perhaps to make sure I don’t betray them.

Moving in with Lafayette made following this time limitation easier for me, especially since he volunteers to drive me home or takes a stand for me. If the unfortunate event of my arrival past my ‘bedtime’ timer occurs, Alexander ensures I pay the price.

Speaking of arrivals, Lafayette passes me a box of hot, salty fries and a smile spreads across my face. His eyes visibly soften as my entire demeanor changes.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best person ever?” I spilled my thoughts while stuffing my mouth with fries. He lightly chuckles, watching me.

“Maybe a couple of times..” He prepares to drive off again “...too many times, actually.” he shot a wink at me.

Blood didn’t have any time to rush to my cheeks before I could slap the side of his shoulder, causing him to whine in discomfort. I sigh before returning my focus to the steaming fries in front of me. The tension grows, and so does the silence between us. Eager to break the tension, I propose an idea.

“Let’s go home?” we turn to each other at the same time

“Oui.”

---

I enter Professor Washington’s lecture hall and my attention is driven to the two curly-headed Virginians. I watch in secondhand embarrassment as Thomas Jefferson and his friend playfully argue in front of the entire class, seemingly a heated debate of the greatness of Mac and Cheese. One argues on behalf of the gooey pasta, while the other simultaneously retorts with a mix of “you’re so stupid” and “God help me”.

Feeling a rush of confidence and suaveness, my brain urges my body to intervene in their conversation. Maybe it was to make new friends, or perhaps to stop the class from staring at their dumb dispute, but I swiftly walk over to them. The next few words to come out of my mouth fell into place oh-so-perfectly.

“Hey, can I sit here?”

Upon sitting in between the two Virginians, they introduce themselves. The calmer, self-collected man among the two introduced himself as James Madison, while the bolder, upbeat man introduced himself as no other than Thomas Jefferson. Both of them seemed happy that I interrupted and decided to reach out to them, maybe one was a tad more excited than the other.

And ever since then, Professor Washington can’t seem to split up our trio. From childish jokes and a few inappropriate inferences, Thomas and James make great company. The idiotic smile that spreads across Thomas’s face whenever he’s capable of making James and I break our silence during class would become more annoying than Lafayette saying “C’est la vie” whenever I make a poor life decision.

Nevertheless, Thomas and James dangerously remind me of Alexander and his goons. The abundant amount of self-praise and cocky remarks said by both Thomas and Alexander is almost astronomical. In the case of Thomas and Alexander’s meeting, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. But likewise, I could also envision the two attempting to tear each other's heads off, the chaotic clashing of two powerful minds.

They always know what to say and when to say it. I’ve never met anyone as clever as Thomas and James, and they’re even worse when they’re together.

“‘ ‘s Adams here today? Washington told me to turn in my papers t’ him.” Thomas whispers as he eases into his chair, Washington’s booming voice seems to become background noise to us

“Is he ever?” I reply, attempting not to giggle at my own response “I haven’t seen him since Washington initially introduced him to the class.”

“Maybe he’s jus’ sick or somethin’. Kinda reminds me of you, James'' His head of curls turns to stare down James, in which James replies by rolling his eyes

“He can stay home, he does the same amount of work there anyways.” James cleverly retorted.

And that seemed to be our last straw before bursting out in laughter. Thomas’s body flung forward as he laughed his head off, James ducking his head to hide his glee behind his laptop, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to prevent anyone around us from drawing suspicion. But apparently, Washington wasn’t having our disguises.

“Can the three of you even tell me what I just said?” Washington turns around from the board to scan the crowd, his eagle eyes find us quickly

The silence was all we could emit, and soon enough, He turned back to his lesson. I sigh with relief; the last thing I need is to get kicked out of a class I don’t even pay for.

…

...

“Washington sure got a shiny ass head. D’you think he uses shampoo and conditioner?” Whispered Thomas as he leans over to me

And just like that, we’re faced with the same struggle all over again.

—-

Lafayette adjusted the hot pan, erupting a few sizzles. The wall clock ticked, the hour arm froze pointing to the “11” written in roman numerals. Lafayette and I decided to agree on a home-cooked meal, and although it’s too late for an average dinner, yet too early to be defined as a midnight snack, I’m sure Lafayette’s cooking will satisfy me for the night.

“Y/NN, would you prefer salt on your omelet? Or did you decide to be healthy tonight?” He said holding a salt shaker in the air to steal my focus from the swirling red liquid in my glass.

My head lifts to meet his eyes. I tilt my head, the wine causing me to ponder for a little longer than I should’ve. He continues to stare at me, holding in a laugh, before I force myself to nod.

“Yeah.. a little won’t hurt” I hear him chuckle at my drunken dialect, but I know the French man isn’t about to lecture me about English “Your wish is my command.”

I watch as he conducts the kitchen perfectly. He knows where everything is, exactly what to add into the sizzling pan, maybe even the exact second to take the meal off the flame.

“I thought you weren’t a fan of monarchy?” the sarcasm was evident in my tone “but I appreciate the submission” I shot him a playful wink, to which he responds with a pompous smirk

A few sips of wine later, I recognize notification that has been staring back at me for hours.

1 Message from Thomas

A text from Thomas? And I’m barely seeing this now? I silently scold myself for giving into the wine before opening the message.

“Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?”

My eyes become glued to my phone. It was certainly necessary for me to reread Thomas’s text, I was unsure if the alcohol was beginning to make me see odd things, but I assured myself I was correct.

I could feel the blush spread across my face. Maybe it’s just the wine taking control, or maybe it’s the butterflies in my stomach forming every time I reread his message. A harmless invite, perhaps evoked from Thomas due to James stroking his ego, but I know James’ wouldn’t promote such a bold, straight-forward message. Though Thomas is known for his meticulous confidence and certainty, a message this simple could be notably deceiving.

But a little socializing won’t damage my self-respect. “Be bold, Y/N” is what I used to tell myself at the beginning of the semester, and what do I have to lose? I begin to type my reply.

“Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way”

Sent.

My introspection was soon interrupted by the screeching plate being slid in my direction by Lafayette, the steam circulating the meal

“Y/N, Mangeons.” My head comes up from my phone, my eyes meet his eyes momentarily.

“Thanks, Laf.” I reply before taking a fork from him and digging into the steaming meal ahead of me. Lafayette’s cooking never disappoints. Ever.

My body couldn’t help but pick up my phone every few minutes to respond to Thomas’s messages, Though they were just the details of the hangout-offer he previously proposed, I felt enclosed in my little bubble while texting him. Those few moments of interaction with him somehow made my day better. I’m sure even Lafayette could see my radiating energy, but I’m not sure how he took it.

We’re technically not a couple; a few hookups and moving in together don't make us an official couple, right?

“Merci, Laffy.” I watched as he visibly cringed at my poor attempt at french. “Let’s just stick to our mother tongues, angel.” He retorted. I laughed it off, yet inside his reply left a scratch on my pride.

---

Another class of absolute foolery and childish inferences, and I can’t help but laugh as Thomas, James, and I exit the lecture hall. The New-York cold hits us harshly, but being about a month into this semester, students already know what to expect.

It was indeed embarrassing, running to Lafayette’s car to remind him of your library study session.

“Alright, I’ll pick you up before your curfew, okay?” He asked with one hand on the wheel. His faux-leather jacket contorting around his toned arms made it difficult not to remember the moments they shared around midnight. The imagery of their candle-lit room appearing in her head as he sat at the wheel stopped her from replying for a moment.

“Y-Yeah sounds great. You’re the best, you know that?” She thanked him for sacrificing his time to make sure she arrives home on time.

“You remind me all the time.” He sneaks in a small wink between his sentences “I’ll see you tonight, Cherie”

Y/N smiled before turning around to prance over to her friends. Y/N heard the faint sounds of Lafayette driving off, sighing in relief

After briefly explaining my situation to the boys, we quickly head over to the library.

A woman in a coral-pink blazer and pants set is waiting impatiently at a table she rented out just for us. “What in the world took you guys so long?” She pressured for an answer

“C’mon Angie, that wasn’t even ten minutes.” Thomas rolled his eyes before removing his backpack and opening a chair for Y/N. Real smooth, Thomas, I can’t lie. He looked over to me, seeing stars in my eyes as I realize I’m standing next to the oldest Schuyler.

“You’re-” She interrupted me with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake mine

“Angelica Schuyler. And you?” I swear her name sounds familiar. I’m sure I’ve heard it around but I just can't place it. I do see her on my social media feed from time to time, and I must admit, she looks even more heavenly in person.

“Y/N L/N.” My hand meets hers in a firm handshake.

“Nice to meet you.”

—-

At first, I thought nothing of it.

Though Lafayette’s text at 7:30 (on the dot) did push me out of my zone, I did appreciate his promise to me.

Thomas on the other hand seemed disturbed by my sudden leave, but it’s not like he’d understand. Alexander would literally kill me if I were home late.

But Thomas and I would continue to hang out. His evening texts would slowly become a weekly routine. Whether it was a scary movie or an ice cream date for just the two of us, he always found a way to spend time with me.

“Don’t tell me that mint chocolate chip is actually your favorite flavor, darlin’.” He adjusted his position on the park bench and raised an eyebrow, his gaze focused on the green ice cream atop my ice cream cone “You might make me regret takin’ you out tonight” he chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile

“You know you love me” I jokingly retorted, scooping part of my ice cream with my tongue, and relaxing against the bench.

It’s very rare to get to relax like this. Not only am I a fully-fledged college student, but also one of Alexander’s goons. The weekends are merely just ‘weekdays: the sequel’, but add forbidden literature and alcohol to that equation.

I look back up to Thomas, seeing his disgusted face. “Wait.. are you actually against mint chocolate chip ice cream?” I cocked an eyebrow towards him

He shrugged before chuckling “I recall telling you of my unfortunate arguments while visiting England..”

“..so what does mint chocolate chip ice cream have to do with your political upheavals in a foreign country?”

He smirked in an ‘all knowing’ manner. “Well, Darlin, if you did your research—“

“—You’ve got to be kidding me—“I start to wonder why I even asked

“—you’d learn that the monstrosity in your ice cream cone, mint chocolate chip, originated in England.” He completed his statement with triumph “Ever since my disagreements in England, I swore to despise such a concoction until the day I die.”

I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t believe you did your research on English creations. You’re so dramatic sometimes” I respond

“Hey, I wouldn’t be a Jefferson if I wasn’t.” He stared back to his cone, the mesmerizing ice cream almost reflecting himself back at him.

We shared silence for a moment. Words were unnecessary when we were together.

“I suppose..” Jefferson started “...I might be able to tolerate mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only for you, though.” He turned towards my direction

My eyes soon met his. “Well, I’m honored to be your exemption, Jefferson.” I smile with triumph, recognizing my effect on him.

He swiftly takes my hand, his skin feels burning compared to mine. Our eyes remain connected as he dips his head down to kiss the back of my hand. I attempt to hide the fact that my heart stopped beating for a moment, but the breath hitching in my throat wouldn’t help me at all.

“Let’s drop the formalities, Darlin, you can call me Thomas now.” My hand remained between his. I try my best to keep my hand still, wanting to marinate in this moment forever.

A new feeling courses through my body. Something unfamiliar. Perhaps it’s the charm of a Southern Gentleman. Maybe the feeling of being treated right for the first time, something I’ve never experienced from anyone.

What have I ever done to deserve this chivalrous kindness?

‘What a gentleman’ I repeat to myself in my mind. What makes him so different from the others?

From a simple kiss, I suddenly crave more.

More than the unresolved sexual tension between Lafayette and I.

More than I was ever granted the opportunity to.

Maybe ‘more’ is what I deserve.

My mind bleeds with the thought of Lafayette, but Thomas seems like he has so much more to offer. What if I do deserve to be happy? I may not have earned it, but who gets to declare my right to happiness? I was once happy with Lafayette, but the times have changed

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

---

But no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with Jefferson himself, I was always the first one to leave. I had to.

I remember the way his smile would fall at the sound of Lafayette’s car horn.

The way his jaw tenses whenever my phone vibrates across the table

Whenever Lafayette came to pick me up, I also can’t help but feel a part of my soul crack within me.

“I’ll see you this weekend?” He kisses the back of my hand once more in an attempt to savor this moment, continuing to maintain eye contact.

“I’ll try, Thomas. Not sure if I’m busy.” I sigh with fatigue. “But I’ll let you know.”

“Alright. Get home safe, darlin’” I hear him stand from the park bench as I wander to Lafayette’s car, his eyes following my figure.

I hop into Lafayette’s car before taking one last glance in Thomas’s direction, watching as his figure begins to walk in the opposite direction that our car was heading.

“Ahh, Y/N. Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me” his sarcastic tone wouldn’t pierce deep enough.

I speak without thinking. “I do recall you claiming that you and I were never a couple, remember Laf?” My change in demeanor was certain to shut him up. And he did.

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

I remained turned away from Lafayette as we drove through the city. The memories built between Lafayette and I constantly falls like a house of cards, but I prefer to avoid the subject.

Lafayette felt otherwise, yet respected my choice.

He was the first to speak.

“Alexander needs me for a transport this weekend.” He stated, “I’m not sure when I’ll get back, so it’s very important that you get back from whatever plans you have before your curfew.” He takes a glance over to me and briefly meets my eyes

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N.”

Ah yes, the monthly literature transportation of Alexander’s gang.

The Notorious Sons of Liberty.

A popular group roaming the streets of New York. But instead ironically of selling drugs or performing homicide, they produce and sell illegal, banned literature and disperse them to the highest bidders.

How else do you think I pay for college?

Although gang violence isn’t really their thing, that doesn’t mean they’re not in possession of such weaponry and devices. I’ve never seen anyone take literature as seriously as they do.

They’re also known for their bold publicity stunts, which are indeed fun to watch from a nearby coffee shop. Watching Alexander, Lafayette, and some other friends, John and Herc, run from the authorities on a Sunday afternoon, accidentally laughing at the sight of John tripping over his own feet, Lafayette mouthing ‘help us out’ in my direction. Very entertaining.

On the contrary, their security on me has become tighter and tighter. I know they worry for the gang’s reputation over my safety, but it feels nice to imagine having a battalion of book-worm gang members watching over you.

“I know, I know. You guys can stop treating me like a kid” I attempt to contain a giggle to portray my seriousness.

He takes a glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You cannot say that until you have another way home other than me.” He sighed rather loudly

“Be careful, or I might do just that, Lafayette.”

---

I sipped on wine and ate cheese at Thomas’s place without a care in the world on a Saturday night. Of course, I had to accept Thomas’s offer, I never knew how to say no to him.

Jefferson has sure been taking his sweet time to put a title on us. Now, I’m no philosopher when it comes to dating, but Ice cream at the park, fancy dinners, and wine and cheese sure sound romantic.

My night was going well. All until the 7:30 alarm on my phone rang, and before I knew it, everything began to go downhill

[events of chapter 1]

And next thing I knew, the cold New York air slapped my face, following the harsh slam of the apartment door.

As my adrenaline began to settle down, panic rushed through my body.

Fuck. At this rate, I won’t be home until after my curfew. Although my immediate instinct was to sprint my way home, those thoughts were quickly followed by the idea of passing out within five minutes. My apartment isn’t too far, but being fueled by wine and cheese doesn’t sound like the best idea.

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N” echoed throughout my head.

I begin to walk down the street before whipping out my phone to contact an Uber.

The small talk produced between my driver and I worked a bit to calm myself down, but that would all change the moment I walked through my apartment door.

Once I turn back around from locking the door, I’m met with exactly what I didn’t want to see at this very moment.

Lafayette stood staring at me, his lips pursed with anxiousness, recognizing my significantly late arrival.

Hercules, another good friend I’ve met through the sons of liberty, stood beside Lafayette. His mouth hung open in shock as he also recognized my mistake.

John, the group’s smallest yet mightiest, leaned against the wall, perhaps planning my fate right in front of me

And none other than Alexander Hamilton himself, sipping scotch on my couch, similarly to how I was not too long ago at Thomas’s place. The glare on his face quickly reminded me that I was in big trouble.

“Y/N, I thought I told you—“ Lafayette began but was quickly interrupted

“You’re late.” He swirled his drink before standing up. The clock ticked, and the hour hand notably passed the 8:30 symbol. I was not getting out of this one.

Although I feared for the following moments, I attempted to contain my emotions within myself. I kept my straight face for the time being. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me.

“I’m well aware.” That came out of my mouth a little too harsh for my liking

“May I remind you that being out past your curfew could severely damage our image.”

I saw John look over to Alex from the corner of my eye. The air became thinner if that were even possible, and I refused to meet his eyes.

“And I do recall reminding you of your consequences.” He walked towards me and I felt my heart froze. “Having you out so late could raise some suspicions among our competitors, L/N.”

I couldn’t find the right words and resort to nodding instead

“I always fucking told you—“ he harshly slammed his drink onto the table beside him “—not to test the waters—”

“—I-I know—“

“So why the fuck are you stumbling in here past your curfew?”

At this very moment, I wondered if I had pulled the last straw.

I couldn’t speak. God forbid I spat out the wrong words. Contained within my thoughts, I didn’t acknowledge Alexander closing the distance between us.

“Ow!--” I watched as Alex shoved me to the wall, the moment playing in slow motion in my head.

Lafayette’s throat grew dry “Hey, Alex, Calm dow-”

He was interrupted by the sound of Alexander harshly slapping me across the face. My hands quickly went to soothe what felt like fire burning my cheek.

“We do so much for you, Y/N.” Alex growled

The sharp pain in my side grew, almost echoing throughout my body. I could feel my body giving up on itself. I mean, this wouldn’t be the first time Alex has acted like this.

Occasionally, Alex would stop by Lafayette and I’s apartment just to ensure I was home before my curfew, and he wasn’t the most forgiving.

--He owns an apartment key and has every single one of his gang member’s location tracked on his phone. Sometimes I wondered what was so special about us to have to keep all of us in check 24/7--

One time Hercules and I went shopping a little too late after sunset, part of me felt like a reckless teenager, probably because I was. I still remember Alexander’s face when I entered my own apartment, he looks identical every time.

In an attempt to shelter me, my body curled into itself against the wall. I shrunk to the floor, feeling his shadow intensely stand above me.

“Arghh!—“ the sound spilled out of me when I felt Alexander’s shin connect with my rib cage.

My lungs felt punctured under the pressure.

My arms felt like they could give out any second.

Part of me had wished I’d stay at Thomas’s place tonight, even if it meant telling him the truth.

What a predicament I’ve gotten myself into.

I looked up, wondering if my torment was over until I was met with a —Crack— Alexander’s knee encountered my face.

It was only a moment before I could hear the shuffling of the others’ shoes. I prayed they were coming to help me out.

Alexander lifted his glass of alcohol, previously forgotten, and hauled it towards me

Crash!

The piercing shards of glass combining with the stinging alcohol were the last thing I needed on a Saturday night. I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes until now, and the way my heart felt like it was just on a rollercoaster.

I kept my head low, watching blood drip down my face and onto the floor below me. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to notice.

“Alex! What the fuck?!” I heard Laurens yell

“Are you trying to kill her?!?” I recognized Lafayette’s scream

Before Alex was able to make another blow, Lauren and Lafayette were quick to hold him back, attempting to calm him down.

Hercules swiftly knelt beside me, the guilt was obvious in his gaze. I hated the pity in each of their glances towards me. He attempted to wipe away the blood from my forehead with a paper towel.

Alexander fought back against the two, trying his best to prove his point. There’s the Hamilton we all know, unwilling to stand down no matter the cost.

Hercules turned back to me, his words were ready to leave his mouth from the moment we reconnected eyes.

“Y/N..” He pulled me up and shoved me out of my apartment door. “..Run.” I almost stumbled into a nearby pole, but I began running, if running in my condition was possible, back to Thomas’s place.

—-

[events of chapter 1]

The next thing I knew, I woke up in Thomas’s bed beside him. I took a moment to soak in the feeling of his satin sheets. Part of me can’t recall the events before I passed out in front of Thomas’s apartment, or maybe my mind refuses to remember them.

The sun hasn’t risen yet.

I turn to my side and reach for my phone, wincing from the pressure applied to my rib cage.

The bright light of my phone hitting my eyes felt like I was transported to another dimension.

54 notifications:

12 calls from Lafayette 🥐

24 texts from Lafayette 🥐

1 text from Alexander 💡

3 calls from Mariah 💋

14 texts from Mariah 💋

“oh fuck..” I sigh, wondering how things will play out.

Out of curiosity, I open the message from Alexander. Perhaps it’s an apology? Maybe a reminder?

Alexander 💡: I know where you are, Y/N. Don’t drag your friend into this. Because I can.

Where I am? I ask myself

My heart dropped, remembering that Alexander tracks my location 24/7. He knows where I am at this very second.

By escaping to Thomas’s apartment, I’ve just dragged him into this mess I’ve made. If my worlds collide, it would all be because I ran to this exact apartment.

Panic once again rushed through my body.

I need to get out of here. I need to leave.

I slip out from under the sheets and grab my belongings. Unprepared for what’s to come, I steal one of Thomas’s jackets from his cluttered desk chair. I’ll give it back eventually, I thought to myself.

After I put on my shoes I take one last glance toward Thomas.

He seems so peaceful when he’s asleep, tangled in his blanket, not to mention his name-brand Mac and cheese pajama pants.

I’m sorry if I drag you into this, Thomas, you just wouldn’t understand.

Taglist <3: @kenmacrumbs @strayblades @laic2299 @ohsoverykeri

36 notes · View notes

crystallos-sol · 4 years

Text

Hey have another meta on Gray & Natsu because I don't think I went deep enough.

Gray is traumatized and can't even voice his emotions sometimes. Natsu understands him WITHOUT any issues even during this time.

Don't believe me? Here look at this:

Natsu knows Gray just basically said:

" I care about you please take care of yourself "

I'm so emotional about these two because they are great and they understand each other on a deeper wavelength than I have ever seen within Fairy Tail.

I'll throw in multiple examples for you to compare but please come up with your own. Rewatch the show or Read the manga if you want to, there's so many examples that I cannot fit into one post so I have to suffer with a few. (Not including Happy has I think it's best to put people that aren't his kid,,,,)

First up: Lisanna.

I'm not hating on the ship at all. I'm picking people CLOSEST to Natsu & Gray. And she was essentially close to Natsu before her death. They raised Happy together and had a secret hideout for fucks sake.

Lisanna has I recall from the episodes we had of her, was close with Natsu. But something changed. Because her death hurt Natsu and changed him into a different person. That's clear to see. But her death drove a wedge between them and changed the entire relationship for good.

Lisanna was Natsu's friend, back before her death but however I believe that we do not know much of her outside of her death and how it affected Fairy Tail. We also do know about her Family and how it hurt them. But not about Lisanna, from what we can gather from the many episodes of Fairy Tail she is kind hearted and genuinely loves her family and doesn't want to lose them again. (Her reactions to her siblings being thrown into danger.)

But again her death drove fear and grief into Natsu and that's why him and Lisanna aren't exactly close anymore, because Natsu runs from his feelings. It's also hard to talk to someone you haven't seen since you where a teenager.

Up next who is/was close with Gray: Erza. We know Gray ran after her and helped to fix her tears, even making a child's promise about it. We also know, Gray was Erza's first real friend. Gray has a child was close with Erza in that regard. I do believe Erza shoved him away like she does with everything in response to what happened to her. (But that's a post for another time.)

Gray is still close with Erza, but due to Erza never feeling as if she can stop being Titania he is not as close to her as he is Natsu.

Lucy, who is one of Natsu's best friends, is actually close with Natsu. But unlike with Gray Natsu usually is (Ignoring Mashima's horrible writting between for now because that's a WHOLE OTHER issue) saving her or protecting her. At least it was like that until recently when Lucy finally got the character development and upgrade she deserves.

Lucy is close to Natsu but Natsu also doesn't want to lean on her. Yes you can qoute multiple instances and scenes where it appears he is leaning on her. But however with this you have to take into account the period of time Natsu has known her. The trust issues Natsu already has and previous trauma he has gotten and even new trauma!

Now it gets worse because this is dipping a little into Mashima's terrible characterization and understanding of how people function and feel. Especially women. Take Lisanna and Lucy, if you think about it they are essentially the same fucking character. Both are kind, stubborn, where hurt by someone they love, left their home behind for a number of years, painted has a badass while also simultaneously being soft and delicate.

Sound familar?

Because that's basically the Mashima guide to write a female character. Now what really gets me is the final thing that really cements it. They both have been/are in the supporting role for Natsu. Don't you dare go saying: But Lucy is the main character!

You, like the rest of is because Mashima wrote her like shit, didn't even know that until the interview or you saw that Fairy Tail fact post. The majority of us thought it was Natsu. Because in reality Mashima did NOT start writting her like a main character. He did not give her the good motivation every single damn Fairy Tail Character has.

Lucy & Lisanna have the same number of things that make up their characterization, and yes so do a number of Fairy Tail characters. But that's not the point. The point is that Lucy reminds Natsu of Lisanna in some ways and Natsu cannot bring himself to trust and lean on her fully like he can with Gray. It is not an attack on Nalu. Nalu is a fine ship if only written correctly (aka: Not Mashima's Version Which Is Horrible And Toxic But That's Another Meta For Another Time.).

This is a post about how Gray and Natsu are close. That's it. Natsu cannot bring himself to fully trust Lucy and lean on her comfortably without 1) forcing himself, 2) it happening outside of his control because of past trauma which by the way knowing Natsu he did not do anything about it and most likely bottled it up.

Wow that was a long session on Lucy but in summary: Natsu is traumatized and is not mentally healthy like the entirety of the Guild.

Now, the last one, which I'm sure you can GUESS. It's Juvia. Because some people think that Gray and Juvia are the " closest people! " And " he doesn't let anyone really touch him other than her! "

1) Bullshit. And 2) Bullshit. Here's why:

Juvia is a toxic character who stalks and uncomfortably idolizes Gray to the point it's fucking ridiculous. There are multiple scenes of her following (stalking) Gray around and being jealous of Lucy. Even declaring her a " Love Rival ".

This is probably because: Gray was the first person that was decent to her. (She was bullied for who knows how long and involved in a toxic guild + an abusive relationship.) Before you say shit about Gajeel: He's not nice. Gajeel before all of this, was an asshole, now he is nice which is pretty cool and a great character development. Back then? He was not nice.

Which brings me to Gray. Who even is okay with being stalked, being grabbed randomly and having someone so obsessed with you they made fucking dolls of you? No one. Before you argue: But he doesn't pull away from her!

Gray is most likely touch starved. Considering his entire background and general tendency to not receive hugs or any sort of affection usually. My evidence for this? Myself. I am touch starved and I often react bad to touches from strangers or creepy people but I also have a late reaction time. Because my body is saying: Oh touch???? And my brain is screaming: No.

He also could be trying to be decent. Which is all he did in the first place. He could be trying to not hurt her feelings and yes you could say he hurt Mira's feelings when he called her stupid for betting on Natsu but he also was apologising and panicky because he didn't want to hurt her.

Also if I even have to explain further why being stalked and basically turned into a fetish and an object is a bad thing then clearly something is fucking wrong with you.

Gray however feels safe likely with Natsu, who's been there from the beginning, took on Deliora, fought too many people just because one of his friends are in danger, has repeatedly stopped Gray from using Iced Shell and was ready to Die with him.

Natsu in return probably feels safe and like he can trust Gray to handle himself because this man has been there since day one and even can take Natsu himself on with no problem. Natsu also probably is happy Gray is nothing like Lisanna or Lucy. Because Gray is Gray and he doesn't remind Natsu of anything traumatizing he's been through.

They both trust one another and stay by one another's side because they are both understanding that they aren't gonna leave. Because think about it, Gray has lost family and his mentor to death. He has suffered through that. You wanna know who's constantly beating death on its ass???? Natsu " I refuse to die " Dragneel.

Natsu has lost family by being abandoned and by Death. He got it both ways and he's suffering because of it. But Gray who's stubborn has shit and stood death in the face at a young age and screamed fuck you at the top of his lungs, wouldn't leave. Gray who fucking went through hell and back, destoryed his own infiltration mission just because Natsu Dragneel rolled up, Keeps Trying To Protect Him, Never once wants to lose Natsu. And Natsu knows that. Because Gray is his constant. Gray is that constant presence in his life he knows for a fact he can trust.

But idfk that's just my thoughts on them.

#fairy tail #ft #natsu dragneel #ft gray fullbuster #gray fullbuster #ft natsu dragneel #ft natsu #ft gray #also i guess this could be viewed has:#Gratsu #natray #because technically it does sound gay but it focuses more on them and relationships has a whole #not tagging example relationships or characters because its not the main focus

74 notes · View notes

whimsywit · 3 years

Note

Hey, it's me again! ^.^ I was wondering if I could order a red velvet truffle this time. As a reminder, here's the info from the previous request (with new info that I forgot to mention on the other one 😅):

I'm a 5'4" tall, straight Virgo girl with brown eyes, glasses (I only need them for distance since my eyes can't focus all too well). My hair color is currently blonde, but I'm dying it platinum blonde (dying it from dark auburn so the color rn is kinda a caramel color). I'm pretty chubby, but I guess not that chubby since I'm not obese but not exactly healthy either....

Let's see... I'm pretty shy at first when meeting knew people, and tend to talk so fast I trip over my words from time to time and get tongue tied (This gets worse around a guy I like and it frustrates me). The more someone gets to know me, the more talkative I become (which doesn't mean I wanna talk all the time, I'd be happy listening to him talk more than me, but I do tend to go into an excited rant like Midoriya if someone brings up something I really like [aka MHA 🤣]). I'm sweet, caring, loyal to a fault but I can be stubborn when I wanna be and insecure (boy with me must have extreme patience)...

I love listening to music, singing (I haven't sang in front of a huge crowd before), reading, writing (though my brain jumps back and forth between ideas, so I haven't exactly finished writing a fanfic yet 😅). I get flustered easily when complimented, so....

Dislikes include bullies (I was bullied myself, so I hate it when other people do it) cheaters (been cheated on in a relationship, no way do I wanna go through it again), alcoholics and drug addicts (I would explain why but I don't wanna get into something that might trigger someone, so I won't get into the details, just know that my biological Dad was one and I've seen what alchohol and drugs can do to someone... It's not pretty)

Talents: I know for sure that singing is one of them (which is one of my hobbies XD) and I'm told I'm a talented writer (writing is also one of my hobbies :3), but given the fact that I have a brain that keeps switching focus on ideas for different fandoms I haven't finished anything yet 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Fears: The list could go on forever.... I have a slight stage fright (I shake a bit until I start singing, but I don't freeze up, never ask me to public speak thou...). I'm insecure as well, so my biggest fear is not being good enough (I can't remember if I already told you if I'm insecure and the boy paired with me is gonne have to be super duper patient 😅)

Aspirations: I really wanna be a singer one day (I'm actually doing voice lessons so I'm on my way there! ^.^) I'm good at writing lyrics but composing music? Not so much XD Oh, I do eventually wanna have a family, just later down the road with the right guy ^.^

I admire someone who is brave, compassionate, loyal to a fault (as loyal as I am ^.^ and I don't mind if he gets a bit protective of me XD)...

But, since I got dragged into too much drama during high school, I hate people who spread rumors for attention, players (people who date multiple people), and I usually stay away from people who are arrogant beyond belief (believing in urself is important, but it becomes a problem if you're over confident, know what I mean?) and people who are conceited (not to say that loving yourself isn't important, it is! I just don't like it when people are obsessed with themselves.... If that made any sense XD)

Anyways, thank you for even reading this and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!

OKAY GIRL FIRST OF ALLLLL tysm for all the likes on my stuff, it means so much that you like and support my blog even tho this took forever for me to get to (i really appreciate you for waiting so long btw) 🥺💖💗 Now, for your patiently awaited matchup, I thought you’d be best with...

Izuku Midoriya!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

OOH back to back protag boyfriends, lucky you ;0 It actually took me a while to land on him but I have no idea why, you guys are so similar it hurts in the best way possible oml—

First off, he’s ecstatic to find someone that doesn’t mind his muttering and rambling, even more so when he discovers you do it too! You’re both naturally shy and easily flustered (which makes for some very entertaining scenes when you’re both pining for each other and get all stuttery and flushed, people have full on brought out snacks and watched 👀👀) but it also means you understand one another well, able to comfort and assure the other with ease.

In more ways than one, if you really think about it. Both of you have a history of bullying, a tendency for low self-esteem, daddy issues, gosh your relationship is so mutualistic both of you always know what to say to lift the other up 🥺 On top of all that you also greatly admire each other—Izuku’s the bravest and sweetest guy you know by far, while he thinks you’re incredibly talented in turn. You constantly support each other with your goals, heroism and stardom respectively, fighting back whenever insecurities and doubts start to bleed through because you just care for the other so so deeply, and I’m def starting to sound like a broken record so lemme move onto the zodiac portion asjfakshswajdb

Izuku is a Cancer, a bit more of an emotional sign than Virgos tend to be, but that doesn’t make you guys any less close! The relationship is a very sincere, secure, and down-to-earth one, as along with everything else you have near-identical beliefs and domestic desires (which will make his mom very happy, she’s always wanted grandkids ûwû) so no matter what hiccups you may face, you guys always power through it ^w^

There’s not much else to say lmao, you guys are practically inseparable. All your nights are spent reading together and discussing your writings, yours being stories while his were hero notes, listening to music all the while, until it gets turned down in favor of your voice that sings him to sleep. He much prefers it anyway, and will for the rest of his life〜

#order up: red velvet truffle!#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha matchup #mha matchup #anime matchup #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #midoriya bnha #midoriya mha #izuku bnha #izuku mha #deku bnha #deku mha

4 notes · View notes

80s-roger · 4 years

Text

Not On My Watch - pt2

Pairing: Dad!Roger and Mum!Reader

note: part two is here and embrace yourselves for the next one! Reminding that R/N means random name and also if you find my syntax or my voc messy and poor, that's because english is not my first language and I don't remember that many proficiency-level words :) enjoy

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with roger had its ups and downs but laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex-husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and Easter vacations. On summers he has the right to be with her for two weeks.

masterlist // part one // dialogue prompts

warnings: ehm nothing I guess

words: 2,458

taglist: @madeinheavxn @stacymaytaylor (if u want to be tagged just dm me :) )

Roger couldn't sleep after finding out you were living your life. He believed you would stay focused on Laura instead of fixing your love life. But jokes on him. You aren't committing any crime, don't feel guilty about it. He didn't even know how jealous he can be of you. Laura was with him, they spent a very productive weekend together. Freddie visited them and now he knows too. Roger opened up to his friend.

"She sleeps with that asshole, how can she do that?" He was furious. Laura was playing at the grass while the two friends were sitting at the garden's saloon.

"Pardon me Rog, but she does that with her will. She probably likes that man. Let her." Freddie got your back and that's what he is supposed to do because in this situation Roger is wrong.

"But Laura is too young to meet another man as a stepfather." He attempted to defend himself with his daughter.

"Laura also didn't have to listen to your daily fights before the divorce. Remind me, who was responsible?" Fred mocked him.

"Yes, I know. I'm not bragging for cheating on her, you know how tour life and being a rock star is." Roger explained but Freddie stopped him.

"John's also touring and he lives the rock star life but he's a family man and his heart is always home. Why aren't you like him?" Freddie was right. But Roger wouldn't accept it. He's arrogant.

"I'm not John. Okay?" He looked at Laura while she was playing. "But I love Laura with my entire heart. I don't like it when I can't see her more often..." His face was sad now.

"You could talk to Y/N about it," Freddie suggested.

"She would probably forbid me to see my kid after telling her." He giggled but deep down he believed it.

"Ah don't be ridiculous, she doesn't have the right as long as you give financial support every month for Laura." Freddie laughed but then they stopped talking because they heard your car. "Is s-she here? So early? It's not ten yet." Freddie asked and checked his watch.

"This bitch is really doing it on purpose. I will be right back." Roger got furious and stood up, to go inside his house and invite you in. Laura didn't notice a thing.

Roger opened the front door and what he saw wasn't the best thing in the world. You had the nerve to come with your new partner. Just to make him more jealous than he was all weekend. He turned red. He couldn't talk.

"Is Laura ready?" You asked ignoring his state of mind.

"No, she has no idea you're here. You were supposed to pick her up four hours later.". Roger crossed his arms and stared at the man next to you. A brunette tall man with nice muscles and a nice smile. But he is not Roger.

"Indeed, we just arrived earlier than we expected. Now call Laura, we have to go." You had to be really cold towards him or else you would break down and you didn't want that. You love him so much but you can't be with him. It doesn't work.

"Stop doing this. Fucking stop." Roger was going crazy. He destroyed you but you destroy him more.

"Stop what? I want my child." You arrogantly moved your shoulders.

"You can't keep me away from her as much as you want it. I have four hours left with her, you have to let me spend them with her. I'll bring her to your home." He tried to sound calm but his voice was trembling.

"Are you sure?" You asked confused.

"Yes, you don't have to shove your boyfriend right into my face. He's nice, but not your type." He laughed and that made you uncomfortable.

"Yo, stop disrespecting her or I'll beat you. She has told me stories about you. You're a high-quality rock star but a low-quality husband. Too pity." The brunette man said, trying to defend you but that made things worse. Roger and R/N would beat each other in front of you and the high-class neighbourhood.

"What the hell, stop you two right now. R/N get in the car. I'm coming." You got in the middle trying to stop the tension between these two. The man heard your order and waited for you at the car. "You are such a wanker." Your face was too close to his. There was eye contact again.

"Oh I won't be tonight." He winked and looked at R/N who wasn't looking at you two.

"What do you mean?" You asked confused. "You're supposed to bring Laura home."

"Of course I will. But not without getting what I want." He quickly checked on R/N and without hesitation, he stole a fast kiss from you.

"Fuck off, Roger!" You said and left without saying any other word. Neither Roger nor R/N. He's such a player. You like it.

Roger walked at the garden again, Freddie was showing the flowers to Laura and she looked curious trying to understand each name of a flower. Now that Freddie noticed Roger's figure he walked at him.

"What happened?" He asked.

"She literally brought that asshole to my door." Roger was shaken.

"Wow, did she? What about Laura?"

"I'll drive her at Y/N's." He seemed thoughtful and Fred noticed it.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. "Oh dear, don't tell me you're thinking of-" Fred couldn't believe Roger would invade that way.

"Why not? She just gave me a reason to do it. She still loves me and I know it. Her words mean nothing to me." He looked at his friend, searching for any advice.

"Make sure she'll accept it, or if she resists and tries to stop you, fucking stop, apologise and leave." He had a point. Fred knows about how you two met and how it ended.

Later

"I want to stay a little more daddy..." Laura whined as Roger helped her tie her shoes.

"So do I, but your mommy wants you to go home." He looked her into her same coloured eyes.

"This is my home too, isn't it?" She was sad.

"Of course it is, baby. But you have to grow up a little to decide in whose place you want to stay." Roger explained.

"I love my mum but I want to be with you, we don't spend much time together and I feel sad about it." She leaned towards his shoulder, hugging him tightly. The same thing happens every Sunday night. Roger was emotional after what his girl just said.

"I know but we do call each other every day, I'm not that far." He tried to comfort her as they got in his car.

"You are daddy, you're not with mum. I mean, I'm happy she found R/N but I prefer my family. In one house." Her voice lowered a bit. Roger didn't answer regardless of how much he wanted to.

"Here we are baby." Roger broke the silence after the drive. He carried the bags for her and they took the lift to reach your flat, on the third floor. "Do you know if R/N is at your home now?" He asked his daughter.

"I didn't saw his car, I don't know..." she negatively shook her head.

"It's okay." He smiled at her and here he was. In front of your door. Scared.

"Mum! I'm home!" Laura knocked on the door and Roger heard your footsteps and your laugh. He melted at the sound of it.

"Welcome home baby! Give me a hug!" You opened your arms to hold her tight. "I missed you." You looked at her being safe and sound.

Roger was constantly looking inside the living room and the kitchen, searching for the other man's figure. Until Laura spoke.

"Mum, is R/N here?" She asked.

"No, he left earlier, but he got you a present!" you smiled at her but she didn't look excited about. "What's wrong?" You asked her.

"Can daddy come inside? Please, mommy?" She begged you to bring your ex-husband in the house. You and Roger looked at each other with your blood freezing. That was fully unexpected.

"Honey, he is busy tonight... He is making music with uncle Fred, Deaky and Bri." You tried to kick him out of your house with the kindest way possible.

"Please mum, as a family..." she was sad when she said the word family. Poor her, she's only eight and has to go through this. You put your ego aside and listened to your daughter's wish.

"Baby, you don't have to press your mum if she doesn't want me inside." No, you do want him inside the house or in you.

"No, it's okay, you can come in..." you stood up again and made way for Roger to come in. He gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek before closing the door and leaving his jacket next to it.

"Yey!" Laura shouted fully excited.

"But baby, you have to get to sleep in a little. You have school tomorrow!" You walked with her at the bathroom trying to help her with her night routine.

"I know mum, but I will sleep happily tonight knowing you and dad will keep me company." She smiled at you. She's so happy.

"I'm happy you feel this way." You kissed her cheek.

Meanwhile, Roger was in the kitchen fixing drinks for the two of you. He was silent, supervising the room. There was nothing related to him. Or at least he thought. He was sitting at the balcony now, enjoying the view. West London looks so good by night. He was waiting for you.

"Goodnight baby I love you." You said to Laura before closing her room's door. You passed the kitchen, searching for Roger's figure but not any luck. You felt a warm breeze coming from the living room and you saw him outside the balcony.

"Oh, there you are." He smiled, offering your drink.

"Oh, thanks, guess I need it." You nodded as you were staring at the glass.

"I fixed us some drinks just for a chilling situation. How come needing a drink? I mean, you barely touched them." You both sat at the bamboo chairs your balcony has. Roger was into a conversation with you. And so did you, you really wanted to exchange dialogue. You felt so lonely.

"I don't really think you're the ideal person to talk to right now but I'll settle." You raised your shoulders as your eyes focused at the city's lights.

"I'm all ears, are you okay?" He asked after drinking.

"I bet you're wondering why R/N is not here right?" You turned your body at his side, now facing each other. Just a table beside you.

"To be honest, I am. Is this why you're not okay?" He was confused. But also curious to find out.

"Not that it's your business but I don't let him stay here. Not when Laura is here." You started.

"So? That's what you have to do. Neither do I bring women at my house when she's around." He kind of interrupted you, but you weren't in the mood.

"Not this time Roger, please. If you want to argue with me, just leave." You slightly closed your eyes, showing how tired you felt.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Did R/N do anything? Shall I intervene?" He asked as his hand tried to reach yours.

"No. He was so furious after visiting your place. I guess it's my fault. He felt I was taking advantage of him all this time so you'd be jealous b-but I date him a long time without you knowing." You briefly explained the issue.

"So what happened?" Roger asked looking thoughtful.

"He insisted on staying at my place tonight but I obviously refused. I've explained to him that I can't present him to Laura yet. Not until that diner." You exclaimed.

"So he kinda left forever?"

"No, I reckon it was a disagreement and he'll call tomorrow. But I think he insisted on staying here so you wouldn't appear tonight." You figured out why you guys fought before Roger came at your place with your child.

"Whether I'm here or not, he has to respect your decision. Probably he's jealous." He giggled at the last sentence as he finished his drink. His fingers tried to reach yours, trying to play with them or caress them.

"Jealous of what?" You questioned in confusion. "I'm a divorced mother." The title got you into your feelings. You never wanted to be divorced. Let alone with a child.

"Whose husband tries to reach her." He smiled and oh god, you had to be looking him that moment.

"Why? We ended it in bad terms. We even fight after ending it." You stated.

"I don't care. I can't stay away from you and Laura." His hand covered yours. Your eyes were focusing on his action.

Feeling this kind of pressure, you walked inside trying to calm down. Your heart was pounding fast. You went inside your bathroom, covering your face with some cold water. "Stop overthinking about it Y/N... Relax. He's your man. You love him, he's not a stranger, right?" You whispered to yourself as you tried to catch a breath.

Meanwhile, Roger went into your bedroom, checking out the place if there's anything that belongs to him. Kinda. At your nightstand, there was a frame of him, you and Laura. The day she was born. Roger seemed to be emotional at the sight of the family photo. At the parlour, there was a photo album, recently touched and seen. Photos of him and you when you were dating awakens his huge desire to make love to you. "There's still hope in this mess." He whispered to himself and rushed to the bathroom waiting for you to come out.

You came out looking fresh and calm. There was intense eye contact, a long-lasting one. His hand tried to reach yours but instead, it caught your buttcheeks because you climbed on him with your legs around his waist and your lips against his.

"I fucking missed you." You moaned between your passionate kiss.

"So did I." He said back and walked through your bedroom and gently closed the door with his feet. "I want to make love to you so bad. Please let me." He begged when he gently placed you on bed's pillows.

"Make me love." Your voice was smooth and passionate. You were ready to feel him again, you were craving for it.

TO BE CONTINUED!1!1

#roger taylor #roger taylor x you #roger taylor x female reader #roger taylor x oc #roger taylor x y/n #queen #queen band #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may

67 notes · View notes

supernaturalismyreligion666 · 4 years

Text

Drowning - Billy Hargrove x Reader

DOESN’T FOLLOW ANY STORYLINE

(Aka no spoilers)

WARNING: Major Character Death, Drowning, Swearing

I had never put much thought into how I'd die. I had hoped for a peaceful death--- or at least a quick one. I never thought it'd turn out like this.

~~~~~

"Y/N you can't possibly be thinking about wearing THAT!" Y/N smirked as her boyfriend stood in the doorway to her room, flabbergasted. She turned towards him, doing a little spin to show off her new swimsuit. It was a slim black monokini that hugged her body and extenuated her curves. Y/N had to admit, she looked pretty damn good. Billy thought so too. In fact, he thought she looked so good, he had the sudden urge to stay back from Tina's pool party and show her what he thought.

Billy's thoughts were interrupted when Y/N turned back around to grab her towel and sandals off the bed, "Billy, I just got this! What other chance will I get to wear it?"

He sighed and held open the door for her. She ducked under his arm, giggling as she felt his gaze follow her every move. Billy rolled his eyes and snatched his car keys off her nightstand before following her.

~~~~~

The party was absolutely packed. Almost everybody was there. Steve... Nancy... Tommy... Carol. Even Jonathan was there! Granted, he was standing awkwardly in a corner, pretending that he wasn't staring at Nancy. Billy parked his Camaro and turned hesitantly to Y/N, "You sure you want to go? I thought you didn't even like Tina."

Y/N scoffed, "I don't. I just want to go because I haven't been to many parties, and I think a pool party is a great place to join the fun! Also, I get to see you shirtless."

She had rushed the last part but Billy had heard it. He grinned and pulled off his white sleeveless shirt. He flexed his muscles a couple of times, watching Y/N's reaction. Her eyes widened as she ran her eyes up and down his body. "Enjoy the view?"

Y/N blushed and torn her eyes away from his body. 'God, I am so lucky that he is my boyfriend!' She unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. Billy glanced back toward the house. He could already see people checking out his girlfriend. This is gonna be a LONG day.

~~~~~

He had been right. All-day Billy had been chasing off the jocks, geeks, freaks, and sluts who had gotten too close to Y/N. Nancy and Y/N immediately found each other and had been chatting and laughing while Steve and Billy came to a silent agreement not to fight. As much as Steve didn't like him, Billy was pretty good at intimidating the horny, drunk teens that surrounded them. Billy put up with Steve since Y/N had refused to speak to him for a week the last time he had started a fight with the guy.

Billy had just chased off another curious teen when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Y/N standing behind him. "Billy, I'm going to go get some water. I'm starting to get a little bit light-headed."

"Babe, are you alright? Do you want to go home?" Y/N shook her head, cutting off his worried rambling, "I just need something to drink. I'll be right back."

Billy made as to come with her but she put her hand on his chest, stopping him. She smiled up at him before walking towards the porch, where a crowd of people was dancing with their plastic red solo cups.

"Excuse me... sorry... I'm just going to sneak in between the two of you... Whoops! Sorry!" Y/N awkwardly made her way through the crowd. She ducked under arms, around legs, through groups. It was as if she was doing her own little dance through the tangle of limbs. However, her dance was interrupted by a jock who had had a little too much to drink. He bumped into her, causing her to stumble back into a cheerleader, who stepped away before she could hit her again and possibly ruin her perfect hair.

Maybe things would have turned out differently if the cheerleader hadn't moved out of Y/N's way, or if Y/N had simply let Billy go instead. Unfortunately, Y/N decided to go by herself, and the cheerleader had stepped out of Y/N's path.

Y/N's dizziness came back full-force and she took a couple more steps forward as the world spun around her. She closed her eyes to stop the spinning. Suddenly, she felt as if she was falling from a great height; just tumbling down and down and down and down until she hit the ground. But the ground was not real. It was not even a visible thing. It was noise. The faint sounds of water and music and screaming. Screaming about what? Y/N did not know. The only thing Y/N knew was the pain in her chest that was rapidly growing worse and worse. She felt an intense need to breathe. Her body contracted, forcing her to inhale a salty substance. Y/N snapped out of her daze as she realized what was happening. She was drowning. Her eyes flew open, lungs burning as she attempted to move. Y/N felt frozen. She tried to wave her arms and legs furiously but it was as if she had been turned into a statue. Her body forced her to breathe again, causing more water to splash into her lungs. The noises she heard felt far away now. She could distantly hear the sound of a splash. The feeling of being lifted up and out of this watery hell was all that she felt before the world went black.

~~~~~

Billy had been listening to Nancy and Steve's conversation when he heard a loud splash followed closely by screams. His head whipped toward the pool. The crowd of people had stopped dancing and the people in the pool had moved away from something in the water. He stood and began to walk to the group of frozen teens. He tried to see what happened, but the crowd was too thick. How in the hell did Y/N get through this mess? Wait... where is Y/N?

"Oh SHIT!" Billy began shoving his way through the crowd, trying to find his girlfriend. He spotted Jonathan (who had been standing near the pool throughout the entire party) and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, "Where is Y/N?! Have you seen her?!"

Jonathan looked shocked for a moment before glancing at the pool. Billy's eyes flashed with horror. Y/N got dizzy often, and she had told him of the few times her dizziness led to fainting. There was one unfortunate circumstance in which she hit her head and earned a pretty nasty concussion. He should have realized the danger she was in when she told him about being light-headed. He let go of Jonathan and pushed his way to the edge of the pool, where he dove in.

He spotted Y/N immediately. Her hair created a halo around her face that would've made Billy's jaw drop in awe under normal circumstances. He quickly swam over to her and pulled her out of the water. She was unconscious and, worse, not breathing. He laid her on her back and began running through the rescue steps that he had been taught as a lifeguard. He pinched her nose and breathed into her mouth a couple of times before starting CPR.

Steve and Nancy saw what was going on and ran over. Steve ran to call 911 while Nancy kneeled next to Billy. He was crying. He could tell that she had been underwater for too long. Nancy began crying as she also realized the severity of the situation. Billy felt the slightest movement beneath his fingers. Y/N had moved. He gasped and kept up the CPR until Y/N began to cough and choke. Billy quickly turned her onto her side as water flooded out of her mouth. The flow of water stopped as soon as it started and Y/N's eyes fluttered open. She looked up at Billy and coughed a couple more times before gently smiling at him. She was still in a lot of pain and had a feeling things weren't over just yet, but she wanted to spend what could very well be her last moments, wisely. Y/N's mouth opened and her voice came out in merely a whisper, "B-billy?"

Billy lifted her off the ground and cradled her head in his lap, "Yes, Y/N?"

"Neh-next time wh-wh-we go swimming, leh-let's not hah-hah-have another near-death experi-experience," Y/N's voice shook, causing her to stutter.

"Of course, babe." A tear fell from Billy's face, landing on Y/N's cheek, where it was washed away by one of her own tears.

"It's ge-getting cold. Did th-the suh-suh-sun disappear or som-something?"

Billy froze. It was hot as hell outside but Y/N's skin was growing colder and colder, "You're... It's probably just... shock."

Even he didn't believe his own words. Y/N gazed into his eyes, as if in a daze, "Were yo-your eyes always th-this blue?"

Billy couldn't reply. He could hear the ambulance sirens growing nearer, but he wasn't sure they'd make it in time. Y/N drew in a shaky breath and managed to speak without stumbling, "Billy you know I love you, right?"

Another tear fell from his eyes as Billy leaned over and planted a kiss on Y/N's forehead, "I know, babe. But you're going to be fine. The ambulance is almost here."

Y/N seemed to not hear him, "I love you more than... anything in the world... I'm so, so happy to have been your girlfriend... Please, don't... don't forget about me."

"You're going to be fine! The police are here! Please don't leave me Y/N! I need you! I can't... I can't imagine a world without you. I don't think I'm strong enough without you..." Billy's tears ran furiously down his face. The whites of his eyes had turned a slight shade of pink from his crying, which made his irises look jade-blue. Y/N reached a trembling hand to his cheek, "I'll never be far from you. I'll be--"

She was cut off by a sudden fit of coughing. Her calm expression was replaced with fear. Her hand slipped slightly but Billy grabbed it before it could leave his cheek. Her eyes were wide as she glanced over at Nancy, who was trying to keep the gawking crowd away. She softly called her best friend's name. Nancy heard and called Steve over to replace her as she ran back over to Y/N and Billy.

"Nancy, you will always be my best friend... Please just take care of Billy," Y/N laughed weakly, "Knowing him, this idiot will go do something stupid and get himself killed."

Nancy smiled as Billy feigned outrage. Droplets of water flew from Y/N's mouth as her laughter turned into coughing. She struggled to lift her head as she cried out through the coughing, "I don't wanna go... I don't wanna go, Billy, please!... I'm sorry."

Nancy turned away as Y/N took a final, shaky breath. Her head fell back onto Billy's lap, rolling to the side. Her eyes became glassy and unseeing as they fluttered shut. Her mouth fell open slightly, more water dripping from her pale lips. Her arm became heavy in Billy's grasp. He stared at her body in shock, "Babe? Babe, wake up."

He began shaking her shoulders, "Y/N, please wake up! Wake up! Y/N PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES!"

Billy realized she wasn't going to come back. He raised his head to the sky and screamed. The sky was too perfect for the oh-so-unperfect event that had taken place. It was bright blue without a cloud in sight. Billy saw this and it made him furious. He felt taunted by the appearance of the perfect day. After all, Billy's life before Y/N was shit. She helped him during tough times. She let him stay with her whenever his father was a jackass. He would turn up on her doorstep with cuts and bruises everywhere, but she wouldn't ask questions. They would cuddle on her couch and watch movies on weekends. He would give her all the attention she wanted. He wouldn't hesitate to beat up people who looked just a little too long in her direction. He would make sure everyone knew she was his, as much as it annoyed her.

She was his entire world. Nothing mattered more than her, and now she was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2?

#billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #billy hargove imagine #imagine #reader #x reader #character death #fanfic #angst #stranger things #stranger things x reader #steve harrington #jonathan byers #nancy byers #nancy x jonathan #jonathan x nancy

83 notes · View notes

maiaphaelsource · 4 years

Note

with maiaphael and religion i definitely think they both have a relationship where they both have a feeling of guilt regarding it mixed with a sense of comfort. i can't really speak on catholicism that much but as a black american especially raised around nyc i can definitely imagine how maia's relationship is. like she most definitely was raised in a semi religious household where it was likely that she had to attend church every sunday aka spending your entire day at church bc (1/?)

the pastor never knew when to stop preaching making you wish you were home because the sound of stomping and people singing becomes too much after the 3rd hour😭. but maia definitely has a weird relationship with church because of the rampant queerphobia/transphobia that's present in black church spaces. but i think that as maia grew older her parents slowly stopped making going to church weekly a requirement and even though she doesn't go as often now there's still some fond moments of probably hanging out with the other kids at sunday brunches or the few out queer people who were always kind to her there. so in regards to helping out at churches with raphael i think it's likely after maia processes the trauma that church brought her and once she does reach a certain place where she can go back w/o heavily feeling the impact of what she endured during childhood she definitely goes to help raphael with volunteering and at the same time the both of them find comfort in being able to talk to someone else who had a similar traumatic experience that fills them with guilt long afterwards. like yea their religion had a negative impact but at the same time there's this sense of comfort that it brings them as it was a place of community. (a little side note, maia most DEFINITELY listen to gospel music. church may have been prolonged but the music hit different!!) over time maiaphael probably helps to provide a safety network to those closeted b/c they both know how it feels to be rejected from a place that preaches community. she's simply immortal hence why she's able to do all these things because why not and plus there's the polycule😌. but yea here was one of my rambles about maiaphael that's not even fully complete (with an additional projection cause attending church for 5+ hours was a nightmare as a child😭)(5/5)- maiaphael anon😎

thank you so much for your headcanons!! i agree completely. i also feel like that relationship is very similar to the relationship many latinos have with religion/church. obviously i can't speak for them all, much less latino immigrants in the US, but yes. to many latinos church is one of the only places where they feel safe and build a sense of community. church is where people help each other, where many celebrations are held, where people feel listened to, etc. and it can feel a bit suffocating at times because if you leave church, you are alone, and shunned, and there's of course the whole relationship with colonialism. churches in latin america have been spaces of both resistance (as traditional and afro religions were mixed with catholicism and it was a place where people got to mutually aid and also where a lot of progressive movements were formed) and oppression (as many people are still forced to stay there if they want to keep getting help, food, and other supplies, not to mention a general sense of community). so it's a very complicated relationship, mixing in fond memories, family, feelings of guilt, fear, being smothered, loneliness and compassion. and it's particularly complicated when you're queer

also, yes, church was endless dudndi god. but ngl, i do love gospel music, esp black us-american gospel music, and i can definitely see maia being into that! especially considering how many black and latino singers start out at church choir and find their love and opportunities to do music there

anyway! my point is that i feel this deeply (and thanks for sharing something so personal with me too) and i feel like it's slightly different because raphael didn't fully get to process his trauma, as he was never away from church except from when he was too busy handling other, worse traumas. and then church became something of a safe haven that brought him comfort in regards to those traumas (while simultaneously bringing in guilt and making him feel like a monster), so, yeah. complicated

i have the headcanon that rosa ended up turning away from church, so maybe he got to deal with some of the trauma through that and defending her against their mom, who meant well, but thought that rosa turning away from catholicism meant abandoning their family/community/culture. i can only imagine how much harder that hits when you're an immigrant, too

but maybe the first time raphael actually got to talk about his trauma was when maia brought it up. and she was like "you know, i haven't been able to get into a church ever since i ran away from home". and raphael turns to her and admits, very quietly, that he can understand that. and he admits to some parts of his issues with religion that he hadn't confessed to anyone (felt too guilty to), not even magnus (especially since magnus had already helped him find his way back to his religion at some personal cost to himself, so how could raphael complain about that to him?)

it just feels good that maia understands and maia is also very happy that raphael gets it because there's always that fear that she will be rejected and shunned for speaking up about how she felt regarding church, especially to someone who still attends it. but raphael understands and welcomes her and relates to her, and she realizes that she hadn't really gotten to talk about that with anyone, either (luke was raised a shadowhunter so he doesn't really get it, jordan obviously didn't care, the rest of the pack or the polycule can't relate as the only one who was raised mundane is jewish)

and for the first time she talks about her trauma without feeling the need to explain or hide anything and she ends up crying in his arms, and raphael holds her and cries a bit, too, but mostly he just comforts her and listens to her and tells her he's so sorry

and slowly she starts to process it and while she won't turn back to christianity she manages to go help with the soup kitchen because it's an opportunity to help other people, and with raphael there, she feels safe :')

also hell yes immortal maia we stan

#All Our Faves Are Immortal #i know that i should probably queue this but i was so excited when i got this ask and i really want to publish it so udndidndidb #sorry to my followers who got two big walls of text #anyway. yeah poc's relationship with christianity sure is something #again thank you so much for this ask!#ask #anonymous #sh #shadowhunters #maia roberts #raphael santiago #trans maia roberts #jordan kyle is an abuser #brief mentions of polycule/other maia & raphael pairings #headcanon #meta #religion #long post #text

4 notes · View notes

sunnykeysmash · 5 years

Text

S14's theme of Trust: How Global Warming reaffirms the Macden meta we already know

Or, a half reworked set of discussions from my Twitter about the underlying themes of FAITH/TRUST and CHANGE present in this season. Particularly between macden because I don't give a damn for the rest. Sidenote: my twitter thread about trust that takes up half of this post was actually written BEFORE GW came out, and despite that it got reinforced thanks to GW meta.

I apologize in advance if the reading isn't as fluid as it could be, it's hard to order the threads in a single cohesive explanation but I still tried my best. Plus, english isn't my first language.

This post contains speculation that links to my previous meta posts, tagged under "iasip meta". That's where I discuss the theme of change more in detail, not here. They're a little outdated in terms of episode prediction but the meta analysis in them holds up and was reinforced in GW.

The bible = Trust/Faith

So, how does faith/trust get in the way of their relationship? Who has it, who doesn't?

Let's address it. This might be long but bear with me I guess. First we need to address what broke their trust.

North Dakota

(aka the element that broke the link of trust between macden for good, from which they are still trying to recover; and how we got there; their shift in dynamic because of it and how it's a vicious cycle that feeds itself until a breaking point, with no possibility for rational discussion. "How Mac will reject Dennis as a final test to restore their trust")

Part 1: how it affected Dennis

It is my understanding that dennis has been left profoundly scarred by how his decision to leave to north dakota went and he has been blaming the gang for failing to stop him from leaving, and especially blaming Mac. Which lead to the events in Chokes.

Where he felt frustrated at Mac for doing everything Dennis says and never going against him. He's constantly pushing him and being abrasive because he wishes for him to snap and act on his own volition.

Because aside from feeling like he can't trust anyone, and like no one in the gang cares for him, he most of all feels like he can't trust himself. He has been scarred by the consequences of his own actions, and doesn't know what else he might do that could have a similar effect.

Of course a person who can't really trust himself would feel paralyzed, they would not act or do anything. Which is why we are moving away from that, slowly. We need to have this progression in order for Dennis to Realize anything at all.

So Chokes as an episode is sort of a milestone, it runs really deep in multiple overarching events and developments. It's not just fixing macden's dynamic, it's beginning to fix a core problem that stops dennis from reaching macden and that has been prominent at least ever since Tends Bar.

It's something that has been going on in the background for a while, that is touched upon sometimes. Dennis desperately wants the gang to care about him.

So when he is surprised by the RPG on the day that for him is most emblematic of the gang not caring, I think it hit deeper than what we're assuming. His feelings were challenged.

DDL is a result of many things. On the surface it's him wanting to be a dad for his child the way Frank never could for him. I think it was also a test though. If they truly cared, they would stop him. They wouldn't want him to go away.

Now. They don't. That stings. Then things possibly go south in North Dakota. That also stings. It's easy to mentally connect the two and realize the hurt he's experiencing. "If they had stopped me, none of this would've happened" I assume is the correlation he made mentally.

So then he probably thought about Mac, and the gesture he made. He thought that meant something, but then him, like the rest of the gang, did nothing. So he's even more angry at him. "For a moment I really thought he cared, why wouldn't he do something?" Betrayal.

So that to me explains why he's been acting like shit towards Mac. And he's been slowly trying to work through his feelings on the matter, as S13 sorta showed initially, with him not wanting to address it at all for a while, and when he tried again no one cared. He's been trying.

I wonder if it's a possibility that, as we reach the resolution to this circumstance, he will try to bring it up again. I wouldn't count on it necessarily, but character wise it would simply make sense. If he's getting over the problem, he's leaving ND behind. He should, I mean.

Part 2: how it affected Mac

But this isn't just a circumstance that hinders Dennis, it has deeply afflicted Mac too, in a way that is just as personal. "No matter what I do for a person, they can still choose to leave me", it is no wonder to see that side of him exacerbated, then.

Before ND, Mac trusted Dennis' words, enough to let him leave if he said he wanted to, even if it hurt. Before ND, Dennis trusted that Mac would always "be there to catch him if he faltered", that he cared, especially after the RPG moment.

These were true. They could always count on each other, trust each other. ND changed everything, and altered their dynamic in a way that we are still feeling, and still trying to remedy. That Mac and Den especially are still desperately trying to remedy.

They /want/ to go back to their codependent dynamic, they /need/ to. But the way they are desperately trying to is only making things worse and worse, and it's a terrible cycle.

[ The more Dennis rejects Mac in hope that Mac will finally go against him, the more Mac is desperately trying to appease Dennis so that he won't leave him, the more Dennis is annoyed and dissatisfied of Mac's submissive behavior and becomes more abrasive in return. ]

Which is why I think discussing that event is a necessity in order for macden to even happen at all. They theoretically need a face to face conversation to resolve these core insecurities that are getting in the way of their friendship (and possibly more).

It doesn't have to be a romantic thing either, it is just necessary for this conflict to be addressed in order for their dynamic to go back to normal. But that can't happen without a breaking point. We know them enough to assume that they're not gonna just discuss it rationally. It would be the correct way to handle the situation, but they're not like that.

Whether everything resolves positively (as in, their dynamic finally shifting back to before ND) depends on how much they want to stay together and what they are willing to sacrifice or compromise for it. Whether certain grievances can be stronger than their bond itself (and I'm pretty sure they can't, or mac and den would've parted already, long ago).

Mac's internal conflict is likely what will make it so that we have to wait a year. If it just isn't resolved, then he would want proof that Dennis isn't /just saying/ stuff. Den might assure him that he isn't but is that enough for Mac?

How do you resolve a conflict that is basically just a huge almost debilitating fear of abandonment and mistrust of the other person's words? In what way can you possibly prove it wrong?

We know Mac loves Dennis, of course he does. But does he trust Dennis? The way he has been behaving towards him tells me otherwise. He doesn't stand up to him.

Not only that but, more specifically, he's always "interpreting" everything Dennis says, you can see it in Texts for example. He knows den never means what he says, and always has an ulterior motive or hidden meaning. He doesn't take den's rejections at heart too much because he knows they're fake.

So now imagine Dennis has a change of heart. Now he goes to Mac, and he tells him Exactly How He Truly Feels. Knowing the way Mac is used to interpreting Dennis, I don't think he'd believe him. He'd want to, but he probably couldn't.

And I don't think Mac even realizes this lack of trust at all. I think it's gonna hit him exactly as it's happening. He might feel happy at first, then be confused at his sense of uneasiness like he's been used and lied to, like Dennis is saying it to manipulate him.

But that's just for words. Physically speaking, I think Mac is very much aware that Dennis has no intention of ever leaving again, nor can he really. That's how it seemed to be in tggr at least.

The abandonment Mac is afraid of is purely emotional at this point with Dennis. It doesn't need to be a "what if he moves out". More of a "what if he doesn't like me anymore and is using me".

So anyway, about the cycle I mentioned earlier.

This feels like a build up. They can't go on like this forever, they will reach a breaking point. I don't expect them to have an honest and open and calm confrontation and solve their differences before a huge snap of both of them happens, I expect the snap.

You know, either Dennis gets too abrasive and Mac finally "snaps out of him", or Mac gets too submissive and Dennis grows tired of him.

However thanks to Chokes and now Global Warming, we can safely predict it'll be the first one. Chokes set us on a path of Mac making his own decisions, which thanks to GW we know will backfire.

They'll fight, Dennis will be overwhelmed by it as Mac ""leaves"", more on that later, first let me finish my discussion on trust.

I find it suspicious how all the episodes with a semblance of resolution that we have had so far only seemed to fix Dennis' conflicts with Macden. We have failed to address Mac's lack of trust in Dennis' words, even in Texts I think. Especially in Texts.

In Texts it wasn't communication that solved the problem, it was an act, a stare. And we only ever heard Dennis' side of it. Mac at this point already believes that Dennis likes him, so there was nothing new for him to discover at the end.

If anything, it reinforced his belief that Dennis says the opposite of what he thinks, that he isn't honest. Because despite how he's been acting all day, he still saw affection in his eyes, I assume.

But Mac has already always paid attention to what Dennis "really meant", I mean, he does it throughout Texts, thought in the wrong way because it was still through text (miscommunication) and he didn't like to consider the alternative.

I put "really meant" in quotations because Dennis doesn't really work like that. Sure a lot of times Dennis doesn't say what he really means so of course Mac would start interpreting him like that, but there are still many times when he's actually honest. This is just Mac's black and white way of seeing den.

Anyway.

As a result of not feeling heard, Dennis actually developed a heavier and more frequent use of sarcasm. Because if people won't do what he says, then maybe if he says the opposite they'll listen to him. It's a reflex born out of frustration.

Back to the "trust" thing now, because see, all this time Dennis has been acting under the underlying assumption that Mac will choose Him every time. Mac doesn't have this assumption, he has been acting to Prevent Dennis from NOT choosing him.

It's gonna be really interesting, if this turns out to be correct, to see the tables be turned and find out that Dennis was the one with faith. We are used to see Mac believe have it, in god and in their relationship, but ultimately it's Dennis that is trusting Mac to make the right decisions. Which includes choosing Dennis every time.

That's a bigass trust to have for someone who says they have no faith. In contrast to that, what faith has Mac put in Dennis? None that I can think of, he actively does stuff that will please dennis, so far.

"leaving"/"rejecting" Dennis in the finale would constitute, again, Mac's faith in Dennis. He would be choosing something that goes right against everything Dennis wants, having faith that this won't mean they grow apart, and maybe even trusting that it's what Dennis actually needs. And it's what Mac would need as well, as proof that Dennis is serious. Because if he doesn't change his mind, then he is. And you can finally see how the whole season has been constructed as a way to move away from the ND conflict in order to fix their dynamic and broken trust in order to make macdennis work.

This calls back to my meta reading for the first half of the season. Again. This is old stuff. But still accurate.

Some snippets.

I now have a more detailed speculation on how Jumper will go which is no longer the one I had in that meta post, but I will spare you the useless talk and get back to my point. Maybe save that for another post. All I need to say here is that Dennis will be adamant that the answer is SHOULD WE: NO, Mac will want to prove him wrong but Dennis will be proven right, subsequently starting the path for Mac's change of outlook. And what will make him say "no"(t yet) even once Dennis believes they should. Boom, karma.

ANYWAY.

Dennis knows he can depend on Mac or at least he's learning so, Mac isn't sure if he can do the same.

As the two bicker over who had trust in who, and who broke the other's trust, it'll come to the surface, through text, that the roles have shifted. Dennis was trusting Mac all along, Mac wasn't.

Which is why Mac deciding for himself, deciding something that goes against Dennis, saying "no", is the biggest leap of faith Mac can take, the thing that would show us that yes, finally, Mac believes Dennis will still choose him.

TGGR's final part of macden's plot itself shows us Mac accepting Dennis' cynical point of view and losing faith. "I guess we're not gonna get that romantic comedy ending after all". But that is not the note the episode ends with.

Right as Mac accepts that it's not happening, we see Charlie and Frank's ending part of their plot. They're reaching back, they have a new realization. Nikki says that they feel the same way, but they still say no for the time being.

How does this all link to Global Warming, finally?

The Global Warming meta

The jump, the realization, the acceptance, in all the meta I have analyzed in the episodes, it all comes AFTER the explosion, the rejection. First things explode and Mac "leaves", THEN Dennis is overwhelmed and changes his mind, reevaluates. Think of the Nikki&Alexi and Charlie&Frank plot as a frame of reference for this. Think of Chokes also, first Mac says "No", then Dennis is satisfied.

NOW, Global Warming macdennis meta, at its most basic, goes as follows:

Dennis thought what he liked was the sexy girls dancing, then they revolted against him and literally overpowered him, and in the aftermath he has a new outlook on the japanese guys that he once disliked. At the same time as this happens, Mac isn't there to help him.

At the same time, we always see Dennis trying to rationalize his way out of conflicts, and it never working, not with Mac, not with the people in the bar.

Basically, we reach a breaking point in the conflict, and Dennis is overwhelmed by it, Mac doesn't help him in GW, he "leaves", I imagine this symbolizing that Mac finally agreeing with Dennis in the actual final conflict would feel to Den like Mac is "giving up on them". Dennis took Mac choosing him for granted, and he now learns how much trust he had in Mac despite saying otherwise (Chokes) and how much it meant to him. Dennis comes out of it changed.

They both do.

This, as I posted about previously, is all part of "God's plan". Dennis gave Mac back his "free will" in Chokes so that Mac's harsh final decisions could ultimately aid their relationship and trust.

We need Mac to turn Dennis down for the time being AND for Dennis to not change his mind during the wait, for the trust to be restored for both of them. To remedy North Dakota once and for all, and move into the macdennis territory. In a year, aka next season.

So finally, we can see how TGGR, Chokes, Texts and now GW all work together as milestones that set us in that direction.

#iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #macdennis #macden #season 14 #the gang solves global warming #iasip meta #this is long and complicated but I hope at least one person will get what I mean

111 notes · View notes

alo-piss-trancy · 5 years

Text

What Lurks in the Shadows (P/5 Omo Snippet #7)

((BIG BIG PLOT SPOILERS FOR P5 BELOW!!!!))

((This was going to be a 3 part omo whumpfest about Akira's time after captured by the police/Akechi. 1st chap would be his time in confinement w/Sae and then the car ride with her after escaping aka normal playthrough, 2nd was the Bad End w/Akechi which was going to be absolutely brutal, and THIS was Chapter 1.5 (took place directly after Sae's chapter which had 1 wetting. Makoto stays the night in leblanc to keep an eye on him since Sojiro and Sae can't. Akira is super fucked up from all the injected drugs, Tae's meds, and the trauma. Out of all my snippets this is the one I was most invested in and would love to finish if I ever had time/motivation.))

((Forgive the not-so-accurate injuries, I had planned to research and edit those to be more realistic/close to canon after the basic draft. Same with his paranoia it was gonna be more fleshed out.))

The haze of sleep had faded as he gradually became aware of the various signals coming from his body. His head was pounding... he wasn't sure how much was from the man's foot kicking into it when he'd first woken up in that cell, and how much was a side effect from the drugs still coursing through his veins. It was enough to make him feel nauseous, but the churning in his stomach was nothing compared to the sharp stinging every time he tried to breathe. His sides and back were killing him.

Everything hurt… he just wanted to drift back off...

But there was one other thing he was aware of that would make that impossible. His bladder, heavy and aching badly enough that he had to squeeze his thighs together, huffing under his breath. Right. Normally he was fine during the night, but after what had happened earlier and all of the fluids he'd had to drink to combat the dehydration, he guessed it made sense that those muscles would be weaker than usual.

Licking his lips, he reached towards the nightstand, fumbling around for his glasses. His sides were screaming in response to the simple movement, but he finally managed to get his shaking fingers to grasp them. As soon as he put them on though, he swiftly wished he hadn't.

His vision was still bleary anyways from the sleepiness, but the slight bit of extra focus he gained made the darkness of his room seem much more threatening than it had been a few moments ago. It had been hazy before, but now he could make out sharp shadows and bulky figures, some of which he swore would move the moment he turned his head. He couldn't gain a clear image, but they were there, lurking in the edges of his vision, the briefest flashes of legs or arms, shined shoes, smug faces. Sharp teeth, inhuman masses, bloody necks without heads.

Shadows can't manifest here, can they?

Arsene. Arsene, can you hear me?

He couldn't sense the rush of unrestrained power, that rush of confidence and flair that let him know his Persona had come to the forefront of his mind. He couldn't feel anything but his heart beating faster, the tremble of his shoulders as he pulled his arms closer to his chest.

Another flashing face out of the corner of his eyes and he was forced to clench them shut. How many of these things were there? Where were they coming from? Ow, sitting up like this really hurt... every inch of him hurt...

There's too much I'm trying to focus on... I can't think clearly enough to contact him…

Nibbling his lip as he squeezed his thighs together against his body's insistent nagging, he risked a glance towards the left side of the bed. Makoto was still lying there, sleeping peacefully. The sight was somehow both comforting and painfully lonely. Yes, it was nice to know someone else was here with him, but if they weren't actually awake to see the danger in the room...

But... she's always aware of things. She's the one who triple-checked the door, and made sure both our phones were charging. If there was really an intruder here, she'd wake up immediately, right?

There's nothing here. There can't be. We're the only two things alive in here.

Those things that he was seeing... they must just be hallucinations. Terrifying, but not real. He fought monsters weekly anyways. He could handle a few spooky apparitions.

Taking a breath, he forced himself to look back at the rest of the room, his eyes straining to see what the strange forms and shadowed areas could be. Well, he knew some of the lumps by memory... the crafting table, and all of the junk on that one shelf...

I can feel my way through the rest.

But just as he started to work up the nerve to shift his legs, he caught sight of the door. The doorway, cloaked entirely in darkness, and leading the way down into a pitch-black café. The café everyone had been gathered in so shortly ago...

Someone could have seen Sae's car... And if Futaba had bugged the place once, surely the much more advanced resources the police had access to could do the same... They could have followed him here, and they could be waiting, right down there, and he'd come down and they'd pin him again, and he couldn't fight back, not like this, and they'd-

His breath quickening, he'd finally let himself lie back down, pulling the blanket over his head. He couldn't risk it, he couldn't go down there, not when there could be an ambush...

Just listen to yourself! You got away! You had that whole plan, and it worked, you know it worked! Makoto's here, Sae's on our side... you're safe here…

He knew he should trust logic. But... if there was the slightest chance that they could be here, that he could go through that hell again...

He could wake her, ask her to walk down with him...

But if he was right, then they might beat her, or drug her, or do something even worse, and he couldn't allow her to be put through that...

And if he was wrong, which was just as likely, then she'd just think he was wasting her time and being paranoid, and he was their leader, he was supposed to be confident and strong and totally not scared about the way their plan had gone, because if they knew he had doubts, they wouldn't focus, and then they might not be able to stop Shi-

I can't ask her. I can figure something out.

Well, he couldn't hold it until morning, and he definitely wasn't going to piss himself, so he'd just have to suck it up. Whatever was waiting down there, he'd just have to brave it.

Just run down there, it'll take two minutes tops. You'll be back up here in no-time, and then you can go back to bed and sleep it all off.

He couldn't bring his legs or arms to move. They were just frozen in place, paralyzing fear running though his body.

The pulses were getting stronger and stronger with every minute he stayed lying there, each steady throb forcing him to bite down on his lip harder, forcing his hand to squeeze his crotch tighter. He wanted to squirm around so badly, but he couldn't risk waking her. Squeezing his watery eyes shut, he rocked his hips a little, nearly rutting into his hand in a desperate effort to take the edge off. It wasn't helping, damn it, nothing was helping, it was just getting worse and worse...

It's just a room away, damn it! Just get up! All you have to do is get up!

He couldn't help moaning as another urgent spasm sent pain ramming through his abdomen, a slow trickle of warmth dripping out for a few seconds before it stopped, not enough to give him any relief at all. He was already in enough pain, and yet this hurt so badly...

Just slide off the fucking bed. The plant's right there, you don't even have to go downstairs. Just stand up and walk a few feet.

The dim noise of a dog barking outside assaulted his ears, and he clutched himself tighter, his crossed legs shaking as his bladder continued to spasm, waves of pain rolling through him as he fought to breathe quietly. He needed to go worse than he ever had in his life, and yet he was stuck laying on his side, panting into the pillow. He couldn't even work up the nerve to throw the covers back and sit up, knowing they were his only shield from everything else outside his protective bubble.

If I go out there, they're going to kill me... Akechi's going to be there with a gun, or they'll wrestle me to the ground and cuff me again first…

Another burst of warmth started streaming into his boxers, leaking through to wet his sweatpants. His face was blazing hot, sweat starting to drip along his skin, and he groaned, pressing his face harder into the pillow. He felt sick. It felt like the room was starting to spin, and he could barely find the strength to clench himself off before he leaked any more.

I can't piss myself again... I... I can't…

But I can't get up, not when they're right there…

It was too easy to hear the voices floating up from downstairs, those deep tones and firm orders, heartless, merciless. It was too easy to feel the sharp toe of a boot against his ribs, or the cold metal pressed against his head, the sting of more needles jabbing into his skin. He could taste the copper in his mouth, the warm heat bathing his tongue as he tried not to swallow mouthfuls of his own blood...

His entire abdomen was throbbing and pulsing, shudders running up and down his spine as he whimpered under his breath, squeezing as hard as he could against the burning in his crotch. The wet fabric rubbing against his skin kept teasing him, and little spurts kept slipping out to soak them further.

Please... if I can just hold it until the sun comes up…

If he could just wait until Sojiro came in the morning... it would prove he was safe then...

A new jet shot out to flood his thighs with warmth, coming out so harshly that he had to bite down on his knuckles to muffle the gasp. When he breathed it caused the fabric to shift slightly, little dribbles of the liquid sliding around on his skin. He could feel every inch of his lower body throbbing, the stinging urge to release aching at the very edge of his member. Grinding against it wasn't doing anything to ease it anymore. If anything, it just made his need worse, forcing tiny leaks to drip out with the added pressure.

If I could at least slide off onto the floor, that'd be easier to-

Bang!

The click of a gun, aimed at his head as Akechi walked through the door, striding over to find him on the floor and helpless.

The creatures were still flashing at the edges of his vision too, dancing around in the dark patches. One could easily be lurking under the bed, waiting to drag him under and rip him apart.

Another harsh burst started pouring into his pants, and he tightened the grip on his mouth, hoping to imprison the sob trying to escape. Sojiro was going to kill him for this.

I can't... I just can't...

No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't hold it anymore. It was gushing out now, heat drenching between his legs, his thighs, and pooling around his waist. The muffled hiss against fabric sounded way too loud in this room, and he squeezed shut teary eyes, praying nothing was attracted by the noise. It felt so good to go, but the relief only made him feel sicker, his stomach twisting into knots as he felt the blankets around him and the sheets below begin to soak into a pool.

He was trying his best not to sniffle too loudly, nose running from the light smell that was trapped under the covers, but he felt the bed shift as what he dreaded most began to happen. Makoto was moving, starting to stir with a soft groan, and he was nowhere near finished.

Stop, please stop... please stop...

But no amount of shame was going to force his body to put itself in more pain just to spare his feelings, and he could only lay there in dull fear as urine kept gushing out of him.

"What... What time is it?" It was the softest of slurred voices, but he still flinched as Makoto sat up. She was probably rubbing at her eyes, but he wasn't about to risk making eye contact to check. No, he was keeping his eyes firmly closed, doing his best to try and shut out whatever visual horrors lurked around him.

"Why is... The bed feels..." His breath hitched despite his best efforts, fresh pain shooting through his chest, and that was enough to awaken her more fully. "Akira? Akira, are you crying?"

He didn't answer, trying his best to keep quiet even though it was impossible. His breathing was becoming more ragged as his nerves and the pain caused by them set in, and a few of those shameful tears were sliding down his face. He couldn't wipe them with both hands busy.

"Akira?"

((He's ashamed, but is still too panicked by everything else to be too upset about the actual wetting. She's very gentle when she comforts him, listens to why he couldn't leave. ))

((when she finally helps him move to sit in the floor, he's in agony from his injuries and still dizzy from the drugs.))

"You're wet..." She yanked her hand back from where she'd been touching him, squinting in vain as she tried to inspect her skin in the dim glow of moonlight. "You shouldn't be wet there."

"Sorry... it was kind of a lot, so..."

She shook her head quickly. "No, it can't have been that, it's too high up. Let me see your shirt."

Before he could protest, she reached out to grasp the edges, tugging the cloth up until it was just below his armpits. He shuddered, both from the pain of having to keep his arms stretched up out of the way, and because of the chilly air hitting his skin.

"Akira, you're bleeding!" The moment her fingers stroked the bandaged area (light as her touch was) he flinched, gasping and gritting his teeth to try and trap a mewl of pain.

"Oh, sorry, I'm so sorry! That's near where your ribs were broken... I'm going to have to change your bandages though, and get another look at that wound. I think all of your moving earlier pulled open the scab."

((takes him downstairs to clean up in the bathroom, washes him very carefully and avoids his privates. He hates that she has to see his injuries in full, but has no choice.))

((after he gets re-bandaged, she quietly suggests he wait in the booth while she fixes him a snack because he didn't eat earlier (he chooses to hide out in the bathroom instead, still paranoid about the door. She agrees to stay in there with him) ))

((At one point while they're downstairs, Morgana and him make brief eye contact through the shop window. Mona desperately wants to come in and comfort him, but Akira signals for him to stay outside like they originally planned. Mona knows the best way to help Akira is to stand guard seriously, even if his heart is being torn to pieces seeing what a wreck his best friend is...))

~~~

"I told you, I'm really not hungry..."

"Just some light broth, and a few noodles. I'll go fix it, stay in here and rest until I come get you."

((when she comes with his food and some light pain meds, he sees her eyes are bloodshot and puffy. She's been bawling in the kitchen, but forces herself to be calm for his sake.))

((they can't do laundry for the bed at 4am, so she fetches some clean blankets from the closet and they lay bundled up on the floor ))

((makoto tries to comfort him with sympathetic story of Kaneshiro's harassment and calls, when she was terrified he was going to break into her house and how she dealt with the paranoia to keep from breaking down since she couldn't tell anyone.))

((More angst fluff and both trying to hide their emotional anguish from each other as they fall asleep huddled on cold tile bc I am nothing if not a cruel bitch))

#omocute #omorashi #fandomo #fictomo #persomo #bearfic #again i'll edit with formatting in a sec!#but anyway this is the last snippet and it's my fav out of the batch tbh

21 notes · View notes

electricbluebutterflies · 5 years

Note

i have a kabby prompt if you so choose.... in polis after ALIE, abby doesn't want to talk or cry.. she just wants sex. she begs marcus to make her feel something else, make her forget. marcus can't do it, not now, knows it's not what she needs and abby breaks down in the process. they end up sleeping.

Aka let’s play fast and loose with the s3 finale and shortly thereafter. PG13-ish, content warning for implications of dubcon (neither involved person was consciously aware of their actions), and also on ao3.

She has become a monster.

In the immediate aftermath of regaining consciousness, as she processes the weapon in her hands and the blood that might not be hers on her clothes, Abby is in shock. She knows there is that cute little word for it, and she knows recent events are far more complex than she is currently able to deal with. Neither of those background-noise details calm her as she searches the room for her…

Not lover, not yet at least, god no. They got one good kiss before everything went to absolute shit, and from there she… actually does not know what may or may not have happened between them. Her body is sore in certain places, yes, but her body is also sore everywhere else so that’s unhelpful. Will she wake up in a few days or weeks and know what she did while she had the chip? Until this fear passes, she hopes not. She hopes…

She finds him from across the room, and there is no one else in the world, and she runs and she falls and she crashes.

Everything she is still sure of is tangled up in this broken man, in his bloodshot eyes and shaking hands. She envelops him and she never wants to let go, and she-

“I’m here,” she murmurs over and over. “I’m here.”

What she did while controlled is a mystery; what he did even more so. She does not care, as she forces herself to be strong. This is a new dimension, perhaps even more frightening than the hell that surrounds them. Marcus has been a constant presence almost her entire life, stubborn and stoic and perfectly composed… except around her. Every time she has seen him break has been because of her.

She’ll be the death of him. She knows it now, feels it in the shifting of his body against hers, the deeper breaking he refuses to do in front of other people but won’t be able to fight off much longer. If he can die, it will be because of her, and it will be an unworthy sacrifice, and-

“Come with me,” she murmurs. “We should… we should…”

Chaos as it is, they slip away. They will return to the epicenter later, face the fallout of circumstances far beyond their control, but for now there is nothing to be done and Abby feels no guilt in departure. Until the dust settles she is unimportant - she felt the gun in her hands, the impeccable programming in her veins, and there will be no partial survivors for her to patch up. If she is wrong, she won’t be far, but she needs to breathe and she needs to get out of her skin and she wants and she wants and-

She pushes herself up on tiptoe in a hallway and kisses him hard enough to bruise because she can, because she wants to go numb and what other purpose is there in collision. Because she screwed up again, got herself attached to something else with a beating heart, and she has a certain feeling that his badly bandaged wrists are somehow her fault. She runs her tongue over his lower lip, desperate for something, anything. This will do nicely, once they’re somewhere behind a decent door. Not how she planned this step in whatever they are, but it will do.

But here is not the right place, and she breaks apart and leads on. She can’t remember them ever being this quiet with each other. There were those good months of shared workspace - can she miss something that only ended a few weeks ago? - and they were civilized to each other then, but not quiet. Trying to run things was a collaborative effort, countless little conversations about every little thing because they had no faith in themselves and absolute faith in each other. This, this is…

She doesn’t know where she is anymore in this rabbit warren of a palace, but if she had to guess, she’d assume they’ve wandered into the visiting diplomats’ wing or something. She does not know, does not care beyond there is an empty room with a door that locks from the inside. Somewhere out of the way enough for what she wants, for making each other numb, for-

She kisses him again, and this time he does not allow her to deepen it. This time he backs away, and the pain in his eyes breaks what’s left of her heart.

“This won’t help,” he murmurs.

“Then tell me what will.” Hands on her hips, glaring at him, reminded of a long history of sparring. If he wants a fight, she can easily give that too. “I was not me, Marcus. There are missing days of my life. I am terrified, and I don’t… I want to forget. Let me forget with you.”

“I can’t.”

Well that’s annoyingly vague, she thinks, and his overall presence isn’t making her feel any better. “Why? Give me one good goddamn reason why you won’t lay me down on that bed behind us and fuck me until I can’t focus on anything that isn’t you.”

He takes a step back and several deep breaths, visibly bracing himself. “There are… for one, this is hardly the right time.”

“We just survived the impossible. And given the fantastic array of shit that seems to happen to you in particular, I don’t think there will be a right time.”

“You’re visibly exhausted.”

“How much energy do you even think sex requires? I’m not asking you to show off, I just-”

“I don’t know what happened during… during that. What my body did while my mind wasn’t in it.”

“I don’t either. That’s the point. I want to go numb and I want to feel present again and I want-”

“That might help you. It might make things worse for me.”

Shit. So she probably did do something. She knows he didn’t exactly take the chip right after she did, but-

“What did I do? How did I hurt you?”

“You kissed me. It felt like you. I wanted it to be you. But you were… aggressive. Your timing seemed odd. And that’s how I figured it out.”

Abby turns away, curling into herself. She can’t look at him right now. All the scenarios she’s considered in the past twenty minutes, but not that, not the unforgivable, not…

“What happened after that?” She has to know. She doesn’t want to, but she has no choice.

“They… they tried to use you against me in another way. They were going to kill you. They restrained me, painfully, and they meant to make me watch you die. And that’s when I broke. After that… I don’t know what happened when we were both gone.”

“But you survived me. And you’re still willing to be alone with me.”

“Yes, because that wasn’t you. I know you, Abby. I’d like to think I have some idea how you love. And when the time comes, I know you will be different.”

“How can you let me kiss you when I-”

“Not. You.” He’s drifted closer somehow, and he puts a hand on her shoulder. “I can see the difference.”

“But you won’t…”

“Not because of that. It might… I do want you. I do trust you. Someday soon, I want to find out.”

“But not now,” she hisses, still feeling like she’s missing something.

“Not now. But only because we’re both tired and have seen too much. Not because of you, Abby.”

She turns to face him and oh, it is easy to fall and let herself be held. This, apparently, is within his limits. He is solid and he is hers, still racing manic energy but less so than the last time they touched, and she still wants so many things, and-

“Will you at least stay with me?” she asks, because even that feels like too much. “If I decide this is where I’m staying until the next disaster, or at least for tonight?”

“Yes.”

“And if I want you next to me on that bed? If I want…”

“Of course.”

There is a gentleness in this man, she thinks as she breaks the embrace and walks over to sit on the edge of the bed and take off her boots. Still a new blossom of a thing, this softness in an unlikely place, but undeniably present. Marcus, standing just out of reach and waiting for her to finish her process before he replicates it, has become everything he is capable of these past few months. And he chooses her, chooses to lie with her in her wreckage, and she cannot find words for any of it.

She shifts her body to the far part of the mattress and watches as she can. He has a jacket to shed as well, made harder by the layered bandages on his wrists. She ought to replace them with something clean, she thinks, but she will worry over that come morning or when he asks for her her help, whichever comes first and not a moment sooner. When those wounds heal, she will see them - she’d like to think she’ll see his details every day for a long time yet - and be reminded of his sacrificial heart. She will...

“You could move closer if you want,” he suggests.

She does. She fits well on his side, resting her head on his shoulder. She could get very used to this part, if he lets her.

“If I kiss your cheek, will you freak out on me again?”

“Depends on what else you do in that moment.”

So, innocent is alright. She feathers a few kisses across his face, because she can, and a heartbeat one on his lips before she retreats. Not pushing, not going anywhere, just a little playful affection.

“Not-me didn’t do that,” she murmurs.

“Not-you didn’t understand boundaries,” he replies. “Thank you, for...”

“Don’t. You know when to stop me, Marcus. That’s part of why I love you.”

He makes some kind of contented noise as she closes her eyes and crashes, and for now they are enough.

#ebf talks to anons #kabby #ebf writes fic

10 notes · View notes