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#and i am just afraid of what will happen when i get tired of running away
bonojour · 1 year
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mentions of suicide under the cut (in a... reflective kind of way, i am not thinking of anything drastic)
the very first funeral i ever attended was of a friend.
it was beautiful. the walls of the church were covered in a photo exhibition of her last big trip. she went to mongolia with the idea that she could find the key to happiness there. she could not find happiness in the hurry of the western world, so to her mongolia had a promise of deserted steppe and people who escaped the misery of her home.
the pictures were some of the best i had ever seen, but in the context of their exhibition i knew that none of the contained the thing she was looking for.
a couple days earlier, she had sat down at the gate of the horses their field and taken her final breaths in her own terms. the kind of thought through suicide that makes me believe in the saying of greeting death like an old friend.
as someone who has struggled with depressive episodes for half of my life now, her story just... follows me. whenever i feel the waves licking at my feet i come back to her peaceful decision to leave life and i start contemplating whether it is a path i am heading towards. and if yes, how to avoid it.
because see, i have never actively wanted to take my own life, bar the ‘a beautiful mind’ incident in 2013. but passively i have always been at peace with the idea of death for myself. indifferent. perhaps partially because there’s a shit ton of diseases running in my family, so the idea of growing old seems foreign to me anyway.
but sometimes i just wonder why life doesn’t click for me at these moments. and i try to do the things i always do. i love strongly (my obsessive behaviour with actors kinda goes hand in hand with depressive episodes), i take walks and watch people meet each other with excited hugs, i try and exercise so i feel better about my physical state.
and i give myself little promises. “when you live in denmark, everything will be fine.” “when you find a partner, you will find the love and the way of living you crave.” “when you start growing a beard, you’ll learn to love yourself.” “fucked up emotions are a part of being a teenager, when you hit your 20s everything will be fine.” and now i am in denmark. running away from the shit towards a country i like. and i have waves where im on my bike zooming past old shops in amagerbro thinking: fuck, i love living. i feel alive. but then there’s moments like today where i am afraid denmark is my mongolia. and im afraid i will reach a moment where i, too, will sit down and take my last breathe and think: “you know, it was a good time, but there’s nothing keeping me here.”
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Half A Bed
No, this is not the "only one bed" trope I'm afraid, although if anyone has any ideas for a fic w that trope, do drop you ideas in the inbox!
Summary: You and Astarion share a bed
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At this point, it has become a habit for Astarion to move and leave half his bed free for you to plop yourself on whenever you enter his tent, despite all his grumbling about needing to move from his comfortable position. You then accept the invitation and happily lie down next to him, stretching your arms above your head with a relaxed sigh.
Tonight, Astarion wraps his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck and deeply inhales your scent. He loves how you smell like him, bergamot filling his nose and he lets out a contented sigh. You exude a pleasant warmth as per usual, sharply contrasting his own cold body. He shifts a little so that you can wrap an arm around him, nestling him in a cocoon of your embrace. His cold slender finger draws random shapes on your stomach while he rests his head on your shoulder, enjoying the silence that has befallen his tent.
It wasn’t long ago when such silence would have made him uncomfortable, unsure of what to do, unsure of what you wanted to do, but you had explained yourself upon noticing his discomfort, telling him that sometimes you were just too tired to do anything but still wanted his company. He had agreed to allowing you to do that, despite his reservations about what he himself could do during that time but soon realised that you really didn’t mind what he did.
If he felt just as exhausted as you, he would simply lie next to you, cuddling in the bed. If he still had some energy to spend, he would play with your hair or trace doodles on your stomach. If he felt peckish, he would drink from your neck. The only thing he couldn’t quite bring himself to do was trance whilst you were still awake. He told himself it was because he wanted to watch over you, but in reality, it was because deep down, he still feared that one day you would leave him.
The comfortable silence washes over the both of you, save for the quiet sound of your breathing and the rustle of book pages as you read the book you had brought along with you.
You glance down to check on your vampire lover, a small smile on your face when you notice how relaxed he is and start running your hand through his hair with your free hand. He croons in response and leans into the rhythmic touch, letting the calm wash over him. Your smile only grows wider, a small chuckle slipping from your lips which causes Astarion to look up at you, eyebrows furrowed.
“What, may I ask, is so funny?”
“Nothing, Star. Don’t worry.” You press a kiss to his creased forehead. “Although, if you keep frowning like that, there will be permanent wrinkles on your forehead.”
“Excuse me? I am a vampire! Eternally young and beautiful, all thanks to my already handsome features from before I was turned.” He huffs, burrowing his face deeper into your shoulder.
“Mmhm, if you say so,” you hum, setting aside your book to fully focus on him. As you play with strands of his curly silver hair, he gives yet another exaggerated huff, wrapping his arms around you and lightly nips at your exposed shoulder. He gives you a pout as he has done many times before and at this point, you would think you’d be immune to it but something about the way he pouts makes your heart melt each and every time.
“Come here,” you groan, rolling over to wrap your arms around him. He grins, happily nuzzling into your shoulder and welcomes the familiar embrace, filled with warmth and love. He feels safest like this, knowing that whatever happens, he will always have you to return to, that you will always have his back just like he has yours. You’re also permanently warm, and while that was something you found annoying, Astarion thanked whoever it was that made you such. He never needed to worry about the cold, not when all he needed to do was snuggle against you whenever he started to get cold, or simply felt like it. Not once did you ever turn him down, and he doubted you would ever do so.
You bury your face into his soft curls, suppressing yet another chuckle when you hear him mutter something along the lines of being one of the most beautiful vampires in all of Faerun.
“My apologies, one of the most beautiful vampires in all of Faerun.” You snort.
“Apology accepted,” he crows, ego stroked.
You can’t help but laugh, holding him close and pressing more kisses to the top of his head.
“Simply calling you beautiful doesn’t do you justice, you know.” You ruffle his hair.
“Oh? Do go on, darling.” His eyes twinkle with amusement and happiness.
“You see,” you indulge him, “it’s really easy to call you beautiful because everyone does that, and the phrase ends up losing all meaning. Calling you…say…‘my entire world’ however, still holds a lot of meaning because nobody else calls you that.” You’re not sure why you’re being sappy tonight but you do know that you’re more than happy to give Astarion all the compliments in the world and more. He deserves at least that much.
Tears prick the edges of his eyes at your words and he quickly buries his tearing face in your shoulder, not wanting you to see how your words have affected him.
“It means everything, coming from you,” he whispers, the words struggling to leave his clogged up throat. He squeezes your hand tightly, hoping that the small gesture can convey everything he cannot say and from the look you give him, you’ve received the message.
He shifts to rest his head on your chest, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat and closes his eyes, letting the feeling he can’t qute describe wash over him. He sinks into the endless abyss of warmth that is you, barely aware of your arm moving to wrap around him to pull him closer but he likes the support that it brings. Even if he were to sink, he knows — no trusts — that you will be there to catch him. Maybe he could let his guard down for just a little while, a short respite from the exhausting day and trust that when he opens his eyes again, you’ll still be there, watching over him with that soft look in your eyes. You wouldn’t leave him when he’s at his most vulnerable, would you?
Ignoring the nagging feeling in his heart, he lets himself slip into a trance, lulled by the soothing sound of your heartbeat and the warmth of your body heat. It’s times like these where he misses being alive, he wishes he could feel his own heartbeat, feel the warmth of his body but when you still curl up against him even on the chilliest of nights, he thinks to himself that perhaps he is alright the way he is, with his cold undead body and sanguine hunger. You may have already told him such when he was confronted with the choice of ascending but while you may have accepted him as who he is, he still struggles with it from time to time. Doubts continue to claw at his thoughts, no matter how many times you drive them away, but if you will continue fighting against them for him, he will not give up.
Your heart flutters when you realise he’s drifting off into a trance. He subconsciously curls tighter into your side, fingers tightly grasping whatever they can reach.
“Rest well, my star.” You murmur, lips ghosting his forehead. It doesn’t take long for you to drift off as well, holding your world in your arms.
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lordgrimoire · 4 months
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So, an Idea, or AU I had regarding the good ol DPxDC.
I’m not sure what sort of disaster Amity’s ghost problem would be classified as, but think of what would happen if the local EMS (Emergency Services like Fire Departments, Law Enforcement, Emergency Medical, etc.) pretty much started jumping over the Mayor from the get-go? What if hard proof of these hijinx, for a brief time, were able to get out of Amity?
Well the Governor would probably have someone take a look, and once nonsense is confirmed (especially of its weird nonsense that looks a little to close to supers) they send in the National Guard, at first to keep an eye on the situation.
Then comes the Ghost Investigation Ward, and things go from moderately worrying to “WTF” real quick. And things start looking less Small Town USA and more Stalins Town USSR, at the height of Stalins Purges.
Admittedly it’s not immediate, and during the time between being put on “Indefinite Alert” and actually being relived this unit (I’m thinking a Battalion Sized force so about 1,200 soldiers/guardsmen total) ends up befriending the locals, and much to the Mayor, and GIWs, frustration, Phantom, as well as Red Huntress.
This leads to a standoff, the GIW can really only do what they want because of the Governments permission for them to do so, but engaging National Guard, who had not been federalized, may cause an issue or two. So they bring up the issue with someone who they think will back them up, their new boss Lex Luthor.
Now Lex isn’t a fool, but he figures out how the Justice League isn’t being called is due to a jammer the GIW set up and figures he can take a look around incognito like, or more accurately get trusted members of The Goonion, who he had Federally given approval to, to go take a look around.
When Alex gets the full story, and not just the GIWs original story but also updated info from the Doctors Fenton, who are now VERY worried, because they were wrong about Ghosts in more ways than they originally thought they may have been. Suffice to say, when Lex manages to get a copy of "The History of The Infinite Realms" and finds that Krypton's Afterlife is GONE, as in they did something similar to what the GIW is planning, he starts hitting the "Abort" Button with fury. Only to be told "Too late we're underway, we're going through a tunnel, what? What?" And now Lex decides Enough is Enough. Lex does two things, first he sends the GO order for the National Guard Battalion in Amity Park, then he starts trying to get a hold of the Justice League because "Listen I know you dislike me but I am willing to drop it all if you HELP WITH THIS BS THAT I JUST INHERITED!" Meanwhile back in Amity Things go from 0 to 100 faster than an Flash, that being the National Guard heard "GO" and immediatly started blasting. The Townfolks: Confused The Ghosts: Confused Team Phantom: Confused and Afraid The Ghost Hunters who are now studying Ghost Culture and the like: Very Confused and sorta getting Arrested. The GIW: Full of Bullet Holes, Screaming, and On Fire Meanwhile, The National Guard are waiting around two hours later with Phantom for any "Federal" News to come through: So the New President decided the Anti-Ecto Acts are BS, unfortunately they haven't been overturned yet so we're all most likely going to be marked as traitors. Mind if we hide out somewhere our bosses can't find us? Also the Justice League never actually knew any of the BS we've been going through, GIW Had some Jammer set up.
Phantom, Tired of all the damage and killing the GIW has caused in Amity Park: I'll try, but I'm not sure how much good it will do if the League shows up.
TLDR: Amity Park during it's entire run has a Battalion of US National Guard camped out in the outskirts/abandoned parts of town and they figure out most of the situation regarding Phantom not being the Villain Mayor Masters and the GIW Claim him to be. Following this logic they turned around and at the first opportunity attacked the GIW and pushed them out of Amity Park.
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ghostofhyuck · 2 months
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NCT Dream when you woke up from a nightmare.
Mark Lee
Mark stirs awake when he felt you shaking, breathing loudly, and agitated. He was quick to get up, shakes you violently jolting you awake. You tried to catch your breathe as Mark lightly massages your back. "Nightmares?" he asked, and you only nod. Explaining to him what happened to your dream. "It's okay, I'm here, we can stay awake for a while you know?" he said, kissing your temples and hugging you quietly.
Huang Renjun
Renjun noticed the sudden movement and the next thing he knew, you're drawn closer to him. Your hold onto his body was tight, so he opens his eyes and turns around to look at you. "Are you okay?" "Just a nightmare." you said sheepishly, he knows how easy you get scared, so he pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you enough that he had you wrapped around his body. He hums quietly as he brushes your hair to help you be comfortable enough to sleep again.
Lee Jeno
You jolted awake, tears are flowing, and catching your breathe. You experienced another sleep paralysis and this time, you felt as if you were about to die. You couldn't help but to cry loudly enough for Jeno to stir awake. He was quick enough to pull you to a hug, massaging your back and trying to comfort you with his words. When you calmed down, you looked at your boyfriend with red, puffy eyes, apologizing to him for waking him up. "Don't apologize, I'll be more happy to comfort you when you're having nightmares."
Lee Donghyuck
"Babe, babe..." you opened your eyes to see a worry Haechan. You asked him why but then he just lightly caresses your face. "You were calling for your parents, and you were scared." he explained. You remember your nightmare that involves your parent. You didn't know that it'll result to you calling for them in reality. "Sorry if I disturb your sleep," you apologized to Haechan but he only smile. "Let's call them later okay? Come on now, let's go back to sleep."
Na Jaemin
You woke up from a nightmare. You feel relieved that you woke up from it and as you glance at your phone, it says 3 am. No wonder" you thought. You checked your phone to see any notification from your social media, when Jaemin moved beside you. "Why are you awake?" you simply answered nightmare which made him look at you. "Come here," he snatches your phone away from you, pulls you closer to him and gently brushes your hair so that you can doze off to your sleep.
Zhong Chenle You jolted awake from a nightmare. You didn't noticed that you were crying until you felt the tears running through your cheeks. You tried to conceal it, afraid of waking Chenle who you know is tired from practice. You gently swiped it but it continued to flow like a stream. It wasn't until you felt your boyfriend's hands. Chenle made you turn around to face him and swept the tears for you. "You don't have to hide it from me you know?" you could only apologize but he wasn't fazed by it at all and instead after wiping it, he kisses your forehead to calm you down. 
Park Jisung
Because of the nightmare, you didn't feel sleepy at all, so you opted to go out to drink water. You stayed at the kitchen when you hear light footsteps. "Why are you here?" Jisung's sleepy tone asked. "Just a bad dream," you answered and proceeds to tell him to just go back to bed. Jisung dislikes the idea of him sleeping peacefully while you can't sleep. So he just stood beside you, holds your hand and lightly squeezes it. "Let's stay like this for a while until you wanted to sleep again." 
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elinoracia · 1 year
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⁑ They see you cry for the first time// Hogwarts legacy characters reactions x reader ⁑
~ Hogwarts Legacy headcanons ~
Warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, use of Y/N, mention of death and blood, swearing (censored), Leander jumpscare. Pairings: Sebastian x reader, Ominis x reader, Garreth x reader, Amit x reader, Poppy x reader, Natty x reader, Imelda x reader, Leander x reader.
Feel free to request anything!
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Context: Even after Professor Fig's death, even under great pressure and no matter the situation, you never let your friends saw you crack. Not even a single tear. You were trying really hard to hide your pain and sadness. But it had to come out one day... After fighting against some poachers with your companion, they almost killed him/her. After you saved him/her, you finally broke down. You thought you lost him/her too. You couldn't control your tears. (Pre-relationship)
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THEIR REACTION :
Sebastian:
He gets up and dusts himself off without noticing how devasted you were at first.
"It seems like I'm the one who's in your debt now. I owe you- Y/N? Are you crying?"
He almost runs to you the moment he notices.
"What is wrong? Are you hurt? Are you bleeding? Tell me!"
He is extremely worried. He doesn't know why you're crying. When you explain to him you were really afraid of losing him like you lost so many people in your life, he got really quiet for a moment.
"You'll never lose me. We're a team, the best team even. If we stick together and protect eachother, nothing could ever happen to one of us. Besides, I am an excellent duellist!... Look at me Y/N..."
He lifts your chin up to make you meet his gaze. You could see how concerned he was. He wipes away some of your tears with his fingers.
"I'll be the one protecting you next time." You could feel he wasn't only talking about duels or battles...
He is not really good with words so he will go out of his way to try to cheer you up for the rest of the day. He will pick little flowers for you and bring you sweets.
"I'm not great with words but I surely can listen! Please come to me if you want to talk..or if you need a big bear hug! I'm also good with those."
Would hug you very tightly for as long as you need.
Ominis:
He will notice almost immediately when you start crying. He felt your breath pattern change and he heard you slightly sniffle.
"Y/N, may I ask what's troubling you? It's very unlike you to be this upset. I'm worried. Are you hurt perhaps?"
You then explain how scared you were. You feel like you almost lost him too.
He stays silent. He goes to reach for your hand and holds it.
He usually never lets anyone holds his hand because he doesn't feel like he is in need of any guidance and doesn't think it is ever necessary. But he is making an exception to comfort you.
"I appologize for making you worry that much about my safety. But I am still here...thanks to you."
You both make it back to Howarts and he refuses to let go of your hand.
"As you may already know, I am a great listener. I am always available if you feel the need to talk about anything."
"Your safety is also truly important to me. I just want to make sure you do not feel like what happened to you or anyone is your fault."
He really wants to make sure you're feeling better before letting your hand go.
He doesn't care if people can see him holding your hand. All that matters at this moment is you.
"Take your time Y/N. I'll stay for as long as you need me to."
Garreth:
He is very oblivious about the situation. You turn your head to not face him so he couldn't see your tears. But you feel your shoulders shake.
When he notices how your demeanor changed, he just wonders if you were tired or maybe hurt.
"Y/N? Are you alright? I have some Wiggenweld potions if you need any. I even brew them myself."
You try to explain to him how you felt. You couldn't contain your tears. Those poachers almost killed him in front of your eyes... You see his eyes widen.
"Y/N...Please don't cry. I'm fine, look! Please... I hate when I can't see your pretty smile."
He will almost instantly take you in his arms and give you a hug. He will also gently carress your head as he tries to make you smile or laugh.
"Come on Y/N, you usually always laugh at that joke! Smile for your best bud...please."
He will not leave you alone until you feel better.
"Trust me, I think you might need some of that famous Gryffindor courage, chivalry, and determination to make you feel better! You're in luck, I have all of the above!"
He will not leave you for the rest of the day. And if anyone tries to talk to you, he will tell them you need to rest. He wouldn't want you to feel too overwhelmed.
"There it is! There is your pretty smile. Do you feel a bit better now?"
Amit:
After the battle against the poachers, his first instinct will be to check on you, even he was the one who almost died. He'll quickly notice you feel upset.
"Y/N what is wrong? Please don't cry...I'm here for you."
You explained how unbearable the thought of almost losing him too was. You explained how much it breaks you.
"I-I'm sorry...I didn't know how much that impacted you. I should have known. But I'm here for you now. Don't be ashamed to cry in front of me. I'm here..."
As you're crying, he gently rubs your back and hands you his handkerchief. He stays next to you until you finish crying. Then he will talk to you for a while.
"I hope you know you don't have to hide your emotions from me anymore. I still think you're incredibly strong. You're so wonderful Y/N, truly."
He'll almost force you to go get some rest for the rest of the day.
"Please, let me bring you back to your dorms. You need to rest. I'll warn your teachers about your absence, they'll understand. I'll give you the notes I took during class, I insist on that."
He'll walk you back to your dorms like the gentleman he is. He'll make sure you don't have to worry about anything else for the rest of the day.
He will bring some food to you so you don't forget to eat. It's not just an excuse to come to see you and check on you, not at all really
He will try to be more careful about what he does. He doesn't want to worry you.
Poppy:
She almost cries first. The situation really shook her. But when she notices you crying, she focuses all her attention on you.
"Y/N! Please tell me you're not hurt! I'm here, I'm okay, you're okay. Take a deep breath."
You try explaining to her through your heavy sobs how afraid you were to lose her too.
"Don't be silly, I'll always be right next to you, no matter how annoying it can be. They can't possibly get rid of me that easily when you're with me Y/N. That's what makes you such an amazing person... You're always so selfless."
She takes you in her arms. Nobody can possibly make her let go of you.
"I'm so sorry you went through all of that... but you will never lose me."
She makes you take deep breaths and do breathing exercises until you calm down a little.
"Do you feel better? Do you need me to bring you something? Water? Food? Anything? Let me go get that for you!"
You could ask her for anything and she'll RUN to get them for you.
"Don't worry, it's okay to cry. Sometimes I cry too! It doesn't make you weak or anything of the sort! Your tears mean you feel deeply and that's a good thing!"
She'll make sure that you're not alone, not a single second, for the rest of the day. She has to make sure you feel supported.
Natty:
She is very attentive to what is happening around her. So it doesn't take her long to notice your muffled sobs you were trying to hide.
"Y/N, what's wrong? I'm here with you, you can tell me about it."
She tries to stay very calm. She wouldn't want to stress you out more than you already are.
As you explain to her how you felt about losing her too and the fear of her being killed, you can notice how concerned she looks. She sadly knows that feeling all too well.
"I want to support you in any way you need. You are not alone. I...I know how you feel."
She'll make you sit next to her. She will let you cry it out while she hold your hand and softly rubs it with her thumb.
"This is really hard for you, I understand. I will help you work it out. I'll never leave you Y/N. You'll never lose me, I hope you know that."
She'll hand you tissues as she listens to you attentively.
"Is there anything I can do to help? I would do anything to help you feel better."
She is ready to do anything you want. It really hurts her to see you go through what she went through.
Following this incident, you can be sure she will regularly check on you.
Imelda:
She is panting as she tries to get up. She is just glad she didn't die. It was a close-call. When she turns to look at you, she is surprised to see you so upset.
"Y/N? Why are you crying? We won! You beat them all! It could be so much worse, I almost died."
You explain how the though of losing her the way you lost so many people scares you. Your tears are flowing on your cheeks.
"I'm not...that big of a deal. If I knew you were going to cry over me, I would have been more careful... Please...Y/N..."
She slowly pats your back, not really knowing what to do or what to say.
"Hey Y/N, it's okay, I'm still here. And even if one day I die, I'm sure you'll figure out something crazy like usual and resurrect me or something like that. You're that powerful, I'm sure of it. But let's not think about it just yet!"
She usually would NEVER hug anyone but she'll hug you if you ask her. She will complain but she'll still do it for you.
"Hugh! So needy! Just don't hold me too tight, I can't escape death twice in a row. There there, I'm here."
Deep down she enjoys being the one you're worried about. She would never admit it though.
"Don't tell anyone we hugged or I'll never hug you again."
Leander:
He only thinks about himself at first. He almost died and couldn't believe he was still here.
"Holy sh*t you saved me! Y/N... it was crazy. I-... Are you crying?"
You tell him how afraid you were about losing him too. You couldn't bear the thought of him dying.
"Oh...I- hum..."
He doesn't have a single clue how to comfort you. He is very ankward and clumsy with his words. He means well though.
He's the kind of person to not think before he talks.
"Y/N...look at me. I...hum...your tears are beautiful...S-Sorry I just blurt out random things when I'm nervous. But I'm here..."
He'll ankwardly hug you and pat your head.
"It's alright Y/N...Do you want my scarf? You're always begging me to give it to you so you can wear it. Here, take it."
He gives you his scarf you puts it around your neck. It feels strangely comforting.
"You can wipe your tears with it if you want. It's yours now. Red suits you much better anyway."
You burry your face in his chest and hug him tighter.
"I hope it's not just an excuse because you don't need to do that if you really needed a hug from me that bad. I'll hug you everyday if you insist."
In a weird way, his teasing makes you feel a bit better.
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minhosimthings · 5 months
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You Belong To Me
Symphony Smut Series Day 4: Cat Peirce's You Belong to Me
Lyric: Do what you please to me, I won't resist
Pairings: Idol!Jake × idol!fem!reader
Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, oral (m, recieving), dom!Jake, sub!reader, maid costume eyy, handcuffs, p in v sex, protected sex, cum eating, throat fucking, overstimulation, Jake calls reader 'doll', free usage
A/N: Day 4 bishes!! Can I just say this one is my fav one so far. I just need to be used my Jake atleast once in my life IT'S A FANTASY OF MINE.
THE SYMPHONY SMUT SERIES MASTERLIST
Jake was tired. And frustrated. And horny. And what better way to let his frustration out than to go home to his beautiful girlfriend and fuck the shit out of her?
You had received the text from Jake probably an hour ago, which very clearly stated to "doll up" for him. While you couldn't become an actual doll, you had been saving a particular maid outfit in the drawers for a long time, wanting to surprise Jake with it, if he ever needed to take a break from idol life.
Taking out the outfit from your drawers and putting it on, you marveled at yourself in the mirror, the dress barely hiding your ass, and hugging your chest perfectly, illuminating the place where Jake liked to mark you most.
Carefully placing all of Jake's favourite candles right where they need to be, your eyes fell upon your bedside drawer. Opening it, you smirked to yourself at what was inside it.
You were going to be Jake's doll and more tonight.
"Doll?" Jake's voice bounced off of the house's walls, as his eyes desperately searched for yours.
"Where the fuck is she?" He grumbled to himself, abandoning his bag and quickly running up the stairs of the house.
"Y/N, wher-"
Jake's words caught in his throat as he saw what was waiting for him inside his bedroom.
"Evenin, babe." You said, leaning on the bed and reading a book without a care in the world.
"Woah." Jake chuckled, inching closer to you, "Is this all for me, doll?"
"Yep." You pecked your lips against his, "Lay down, I got a surprise for you."
Jake's eyes darkened, as he slowly got onto the bed, unsure of what was happening. His eyes never left your ass in that perfect costume, as you bent over the drawer, to reach for something.
"Found it!"
Jake's mouth almost dropped.
The handcuffs.
Of course, how could he have forgotten about all those times he ate you out with the metal restraining you? Brats gotta be taimed ain't it?
"Baby~" he cooed, as you reached over to his hands, tightly cuffing them to the bed frame, "God I don't deserve you."
"We'll see about that." You giggled, pressing your mouth to the button of his shirt, slowly ripping each one off, until his abs were fully on display to you. Your perfume intoxicated Jake, pulling him into a limbo he didn't want to get out of.
"Ah fuck, doll." He moaned, feeling your hands play with his belt, as you undid his pants.
You finally got it free, and you pushed it aside to reveal his black briefs, the one you had helped him pick when you went shopping last week.
You could still feel how tight his body was strung up, and you let your eyes lift up to meet his, and you straightened.
"Christ, you drive me insane, baby."
You barely understood what he was mumbling in between his soft moans, but you didn't need to.The look in his eyes were enough words.
You slipped yours hands into his boxers, tugging it down as his hips lifted off the couch. He was already obscenely hard, and you could have sworn your mouth watered.
"If you are going to keep staring at me like that, I am not responsible for my actions." He muttered, his tone careful as if he was afraid to set you off.
"You are beautiful." You whispered and lifted your eyes in time to see him blush, visible even through the dim light.
You took that opportunity to ease him into your mouth, and Jake swore, both hands dying to drop to grip your hair, if they were not restrained.
You groaned, and you felt them retract, but before you could complain he started talking.
"You have no idea how amazing your mouth feels right now, doll." He groaned as you ease him more into your throat, breathing slowly through your nose.
Jake made a weird noise in the back of his throat, and you bit back a grin, moving backwards before swirling your tongue over and around the smooth head.
You couldn't help yourself as you looked up at him, and he had his hands over his face, and you could tell he was holding himself back, so you jerked forward until you gagged and he let out a string of curses.
“Just like that, baby.”
Using the grip his legs had around your neck, he pulled your head toward his hips, feeding his cock even deeper into your mouth.
It made your jaw ache, considering how big he was and how little you had taken in before, but you didn't feel nervous. Even though you had no control over how much he tried to shove in.
He waited for your nod before he did it again, and this time you leaned into it and tried to take him deeper. You knew when he breached the back of your throat, sliding in and you forced yourself to relax, breathing in through your nose.
It made you think you were a little sick to enjoy the way he was using your mouth, but you couldn't form a single thought as he thrust gently between your lips.
“Oh fuck. Yeah. Yeah, just like that. You are doing so good for me, baby.” His praise caused a fire to ignite in your belly, and he curled his fingers into your hair, effectively ruining your hair further.
You felt him shoot down your throat and his grip around your head slacked as you lifted your eyes to see him rest his head against the bedframe.
"Fuck you look so pretty." Jake chuckled, as you leant up to his level, the maid costume barely hiding your nipples, "So fucking pretty for me."
"And darling?"
"Yeah?"
"You didn't cuff me properly."
You barely had time to look up at the cuffs, as Jake's hands pressed against your cheeks, pulling you in for a deep kiss.
Jake could taste his own cum, smeared around your mouth, and it felt delicious.
His hands moved down to your tits, squeezing them tight, and kneading the hardened buds, while he kissed you with his tongue almost choking you.
"Oh fucking hell doll." He pulled away, to see your lipstick all smeared around your mouth, "You're so fucking perfect."
You had no time to think, as Jake flipped you over the matress, his figure now on top of you.
"Ahh Jake." You moaned, feeling his tip caress your cunt so gently.
"Already?" Jake chuckled, "Haven't even put it in yet, doll."
"Jake don't tease." You pouted, feeling his tip hug your pussy again, sending jets of pleasure through you.
"Nuh uh wait." Jake reached over you, to the bedside table, to get a condom, "Protection first."
"Why? You don't want to fuck a baby into me?" You teased him, slightly disappointed that he wasn't fucking you raw.
"You have no idea how much I'd love to do that." Jake whispered, "But I don't want you to be on hiatus for nine months, so maybe not now."
He sinks his cock slowly and gently. His hands trembling as he holds your hips in place, his other hand thumbing with your clit like you asked. His breath was shaking, he felt like he was going to shoot his cum inside you once he bottoms out.
His eyes dropping to your tits, his cheeks get pink. He slides his cock out of your pussy, watching it clench around nothing before thrusting back in, whining as he feels the warmth of your walls. You cunt hugging all the veins and curve of dick.
His eyes fall open as he lets out a grunt of surprise and pleasure, “Fuck.” His eyes glare at you, “Don't.” Your pussy only clenched further in reply and his hold gets harder, pressing your hand into the mattress as he sank in completely without a warning. “Ah!” You let out in surprise, the stretch painfully perfect.
“Take it,” he whispered to you, his lip biting your earlobe before he dragged his mouth to the pulse of your neck to mark you up properly as his property. His hips now beginning to move, calculated and controlled just like every other action of Jake. Every thrust hits your g-spot relentlessly, making you gasp and moan, back arching in pleasure.
The heat was already forming in your stomach, waiting to be released and spread all over your body. The final push hadn't come long after. As you and Jake shared a filthy open-mouthed kiss, he had thrust so hard and deep, a small bulge had formed, your cervix being kissed with his cockhead.
You cry his name and your pussy comes on his cock, milking his length with repeated squeezes. “That's it, doll” he praises as he continues to abuse your cunt with his dick. Your nerves are oversensitive making you whimper and teary-eyed. He found his release with a whimper, his hot cum almost filling your womb. He pulled out with a small gasp and you wanted him again.
"Fucking hell doll." Jake gasps, collapsing on your side, as you pant, you chest rising up and down. The costume had now been completely ripped apart, revealing your naked form, which Jake deemed his 'piece of art'.
"Don't worry I'll buy you a new one." He chuckled, pulling you into his arms.
"Wanna take a shower?"
"Another round? Sure."
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Taglist: @ramenoil + taglist is open my babies!
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drdemonprince · 1 month
Note
The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.
When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)
That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.
To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.
I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?
So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.
Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.
What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.
Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.
I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.
I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.
Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)
But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.
Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)
Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.
Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.
Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.
I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.
It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .
And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.
It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.
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Text
Bathing suit
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Sanji x reader
Warnings: afab reader, comfort fluff but a little suggestive, CW reader is not comfortable with her body so she talks terrible about it (don’t worry this has a happy ending)
Word count: 1.6k
Summary: In which you hate how you look in your bathing suit and Sanji comforts you
Masterlist
It was a hot sunny day, the waves of the ocean made their way to the shore in a calm rhythm, so steady that the Strawhats found themselves having to dock on the beach for the day, awaiting for the ocean’s ferocity to comeback so they could sail away to continue their adventure
A day in the beach, everyone was more than happy for the idea. Having to spend your days at sea with the same faces looking back at you every waking moment could be a little nagging, having this time to unravel and enjoy the beauty of the island was something everyone looked forward to. Franky and Ussop had even set up an improvised tiki bar, just an excuse for Sanji to make everyone drinks really
And there he was, mixing up a fruit drink that he handed Nami which she took gratefully, before making her way back to her assigned place under an umbrella besides Robin. A smile was quick to make its way to the cooks face, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, wether it be savoring his drinks, fooling around in the ocean or constructing an impressive sand castle near the shore
But his smile was quick to fade when he noticed you were nowhere to be found, how strange. Earlier that day, when Luffy happily shared the news of how the crew was going to spend the day, he clearly recalled your enthusiastic response, happy to finally have some sand under your feet and enjoy a relaxing day under the beaming sun; so… where were you?
Worry seemed to be building up on Sanji’s core when he asked about your whereabouts and no one really knew where or what were you doing
“Last time I saw her she was getting ready, said she’d catch up to us” Robin commented, which did nothing to ease his worries since that had happened when you had just docked
“I’m just going to make sure she’s ok” Sanji said after taking a drag of his cigarette that burned hastily under his fingertips. Robin smiled and nodded, knowing that whatever it was, Sanji would take good care of it
So he looked for you, all over and under The Sunny, but it seemed like you had dissipated into thin air, that was until he heard a sob reverb from behind the girls quarters door. Thinking something absolutely terrible and unthinkable had happened to the sweet sweet you, Sanji kicked open the door, making you jump out of your skin as his eyes examined the room
When he saw you, eyes puffy, nose red, wrapped under a blanket looking like a sad wet dog Sanji found himself stunned, glad you were in one piece, but his heart breaking at your sight
“My dear… what happened?” You stayed in place, only answering with a sad sob and a shiver, the blonde eased his position, softening as he approached gently “dear?”
“Nothing… I’m just, not feeling well” Sanji had never seen you like this, in his eyes you were a strong and brave woman that carried herself proudly, to see you so vulnerable made his heart clench. Hesitantly, he sat at your side of your bed, his eyes never leaving your form, taking note of your fingertips dragging your tears away in a hurry. A salience fell, deafening as you fought back the pain blossoming form your being, hiding into yourself
“Are you sure?” A sigh left your lips, your eyes watering meeting his blue worried ones, you shook your head slowly
“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice was barely a whisper, as if afraid you’ll get scared and run away again. You stayed still for a moment, hesitant but too hurt to even deny, you nodded shutting your eyes as new tears peeked at the sides
Sanji scooted closer, his hand reaching for your back rubbing confronting circles “I feel disgusting”- your voice came out broken and tired.- “I look so bad in my bathing suit, nothing like Nami and Robin… why am I like this?”
Every single word that came out of your mouth was like a dagger hitting Sanji’s stomach repeatedly, hurting him like nothing had ever before and leaving him confused
Every since Sanji had landed his eyes on you, he was absolutely star struck. He swears he had never crossed paths with someone like you, your beauty beyond compare. Sure he was known for his admiration for women and tossing around the word perfect almost to every single one he met, but you? Perfect was not enough of a word; it was not only your dazzling beauty with your star lit eyes and your addictive smile framed by those soft lips of yours, your sun kissed skin and your free hair waved by the ocean’s breeze the only thing leaving him breathless, it was your heart, your bravery and kindness that you always extended towards the people around you, your soul was even far more precious than anything Sanji had ever encountered in the vastness of the sea
It was really confusing to know that you couldn’t see what he did
An incredulous “What?”- was the only thing that slipped from his mouth at the idea of it, your eyes turning confused just as he was
“But, you’re gorgeous” Sanji expressed without hesitation, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, as if stating a clear fact
“You’re just saying that to be nice” he immediately shook his head repeatedly, his hands reaching to hold yours in hopes you’ll understand
“I mean it!”
“You don’t have to pretend, I know loving every woman on earth is part of who you are but be honest with me Sanji. I am not as skinny or gracious as all the girls you fawn over, I am not the kind of girl someone double takes at-“ you paused your rambling when you were met with something you had never seen before, Sanji was upset… upset with you; angry eyes piercing you in place, holding his breath hoping that the words you used to talk about yourself would stop flowing out of your mouth, he was fuming
“Sanji?” His strong grip shifted from your hands to your shoulders, blue eyes full of determination burning right into yours but not a word was spoken. The cook knew if he was to spill every thought that swam around his mind right now it would only bring to the surface his clear love for you, a feeling he had tried to bury deep down on his being and failing every time you’ll cross his line of vision; regardless, he weighs his options, you deserved better than him he said to himself but… maybe he wanted to be selfish
“Darling, it’s true… you’re not like Nami or Robin, but that’s exactly why you’re so…”- his heart jumped to his throat as he tried to get his words out, desires being held back by a thin rope about to snap.- “so perfect” Sanji’s words echoed trough the room, blush settling on top of your tear stained cheeks, but still you doubted him
“I am no-“
“Y/N!” he shook your shoulders in hopes you’ll come back to yourself
“You think I’m lying? Look!” You stood up getting away from his grip and tossing the blanket that shielded your body aside, opening your arms as you showed your bathing suit “My belly looks so bad, my thighs are huge and I have marks all over and…” your voice faded as Sanji admired you from his seat, ogling you form head to toe, his heart went from his throat to the floor reddening his face and hitching his breath
Fuck it
The cook stood up just to fall on his knees immediately after; there he was in front of you, his hands on your plum thighs as pure adoration looked back at you -“If you only knew what you do to me” your pink tinted cheeks turned red at his words and your heartbeat went wild, threatening to make your heart jump out of your ribcage. His slender hands touched your cold skin with pure devotion burning themselves into you, his eyes made another roll of your figure taking in every detail he was able to as he remained close. Sanji’s grip faltered only to move his hands around your legs, savoring the way your skin felt under his fingertips; his hands reached near your bottom making you jump immediately pulling his hands back to your thighs
“SORRY!” He exclaimed as his mind catches up with the actions of his body, hand pulling away from you leaving you cold.- “You’re just so… unreal”
There it was again, that twinkle in his eyes that made its appearance whenever he glanced at you, beaming over your insecurities and making them disappear on its wake, but why? why you? In your eyes you were just pathetic but for him… you were everything
“Sanji” you called and he answered without a doubt, raising to his feet as he awaited for your words.- “Do you mean it”
Finally, a shadow of a smile casted on your lips, melting the cook in a puddle at your feet, but he managed to not crumble because he needed to answer
“Sweetheart, theres so much more I want to say to you and nothing would be enough to show you how crazy you make me” hearing the thrumming in his chest sparked the idea to maybe just show you. Again, his hand took one of yours in his and placed in on his chest, there it was clear as day, his heart jumping around because of you… for you
You flushed at the feeling, another smile gracing Sanjis view as you thanked him in a whisper, both of your gazes staring back at each other lost on the feeling of one another, awaiting for time to take you
“I feel so much better now” taking advantage of your position, you jumped on the cooks arms, wrapping yourself on his tall frame smiling like an idiot which Sanji welcomed happier than ever, you body melting into his in a sweet hug that he would forever remember
“Glad to be of service”
—————————
This was supposed to be a prompt with several characters but I got carried away… anyways Laws version is in the making
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pathetic-sapphic · 8 months
Note
Can you do the arcane milfs with a fem s/o and they react to her flinching after a small argument? Like they are going to run their fingers through their hair and she thinks they’re gonna hit her? And just hurt/comfort type thing. If you don’t want to do this that’s completely fine. Thank you 🤍
Arcane milfs when their S/O flinches during an argument
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At first, SEVIKA doesn't understand why you flinched away like that. She knows that she can be angry and stubborn sometimes and when you two argue, it's frustrating for the both of you. She goes to run her hand through her hair in an attempt to cool off, but her heart drops when she sees you flinch at her movement. Cue her sad puppy eyes, the look that she gives you tugs at your heartstrings. She knows she's a brute, but she needs you to be aware of the fact that she'd rather die than ever lay a hand on you. Sevika sits down on the couch and pats the space next to her, signaling for you to have a seat. When you do, she hesitantly wraps a comforting arm around your shoulders, pulling your face to rest in the crook of her neck. You can feel the way her lips press a lingering kiss into your hair before she leans down to whisper comforting words into your ear.
''I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have lost my cool. You know I'd never hurt you, right? I'd rather die than have that happen. I'm sorry I scared you, I promise you we'll get through this. It's okay, I've got you now and I'll kill whoever dared to raise their hand against you. No matter how many times we argue, I'll always protect you and keep you safe, my sweet girl.''
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GRAYSON knows, she knows that you're just worried for her and that you don't mean to burden her. But she had a long day, Marcus annoying her to hell and back, her other co-workers nagging at her and the troubles in the Undercity are growing every day. She's tired and she just wants to sleep with you in her arms. But you're sitting next to her on the couch, scolding her for not taking care of herself. Grayson talks back to you, irritation in her voice evident, asking you to get off her back for once. She doesn't mean it, she hates raising her tone at you and as soon as she realizes her mistake, Grayson lets out a deep sigh and goes to run a hand through her hair. Just as she does that, she notices the way you flinch and it takes her no less than a second to realize what happened. Oh, now she feels even worse. Has she been neglecting you and brushing you off so much lately, that you're afraid she might hurt you? Immediately pulls you into her embrace, letting your head rest on her chest as tears gather in her eyes. Work be damned, she needs to remind her wife how much she loves her and, above all, Grayson must work on her communication and make up for lost time.
''Oh, darling, I wasn't- Oh, come here, please. I am so sorry, I shouldn't have raised my voice at you like that. I know you only want the best for me and how much you try to keep me safe and healthy. I wish the same for you, I'm sorry that I haven't been good to you, my love. I love you so so much and I'll work on myself so I can show it to you properly. Let me hold you for a bit, please. I'm sorry I scared you, it won't happen again, I promise.''
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CASSANDRA loves you dearly, and never fails to show you that. No matter how busy she is, she always makes time for you and pays attention to anything and everything you might need. Usually, she loves listening to you ramble about your interests, but today has just been so exhausting and she can feel a migraine brewing. You notice her tense posture and try to lighten up the mood by making small talk, albeit being a bit vary of her annoyed expression. When Cassandra sighs loudly and lifts her hand up to rub her forehead, you cannot fight the slight flinch that takes over your body. Cassandra looks over at you with a shocked expression, ashamed that she made you feel scared in her presence. She gestures softly for you to lay your head in her lap, caressing your hair comfortingly once you do so. As soon as she feels better, she plans on taking you on a lovely date to make up for her behavior. It's not your fault that her fellow Councilors are incompetent, you're her darling girl and she knows that you're just trying to make her feel better.
''Oh, sweetheart, come here. Lay your head on my lap... Yes, just like that. I'm sorry, my darling, it's been a long day at work but that is no excuse for me to treat you like that. I apologize for scaring you, you know I'd never do anything to hurt you, yes? Good, I only want you to be happy and healthy, beloved. How about tomorrow, we go on a lovely outing, just you and me? Perfect, I'll make sure we have fun and forget about every little thing that might trouble us. Let us rest now, my love.''
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AMBESSA is well aware of how other people see her; ruthless, cunning and a brute. But she doesn't want you to view her like that, she'd rather give over her power than do anything to scare you. But being so used to putting on a frightening and merciless face in front of others, it eventually shows briefly when she's with you. Fights between the two of you happen occasionally, as Ambessa still struggles with balancing and maintaining a romantic relationship. She forgets herself sometimes and her feelings can be hard to reveal, even to you. She knows that you've been more than patient with her but she herself isn't that kind of a person and as she huffs angrily in the midst of your argument, she raises her hand swiftly to run it over her face in frustration. Even in all her anger, Ambessa couldn't miss the way you flinched at her movement, her once cold heart now breaking at the sight. She sits on your shared bed numbly, taking your hands in hers and looking up at you with sorrowful eyes. Ambessa gives you an honest and tear-jerking apology, assuring you that she loves you and she'd never do anything to bring you harm. You're her only light in this cruel, dark world.
''What have I done? My dear, you know I'd never... Well, I suppose you don't, especially with how I've been acting towards you. There aren't enough words in existence to tell you how sorry I am. No matter how closed off I am with my own feelings, it's never an excuse to take it out on you. You're the only good thing I have, the only person who can ground me and I promise to treat you right from now on. I'm sorry I failed in doing that, my beloved. But I promise I'll change, for you. Because you're worth it.''
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samiswifey · 8 months
Text
Happy To See Her
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Paring: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader
Warning: none
Summary: just an overeager girlfriend reader happy to see Sam.
From a young age Sam has known that she wasn't really wanted. Her mother never liked her and when she found the diary that because way more obvious to her. The man Sam knew as her father just up and left her without saying a word, leaving her absolutely heart broken. The only one who really wanted her around was Tara, but she ruined that when she just left. Yes things are good now with them but she's still afraid that one day Tara's going to decide that she too doesn't want Sam and eventually will leave her too. Like some kind of sick Karmic justice.
Today has been exhausting for Sam. People were a lot more vocal with their hate toward her and it was starting to get to her. She was sad, and quite frankly hurt by the hateful words. She usually didn't let people's words get to her but this was hard to ignore when they're in your face everyday. Where ever you go you get hate and Sam was tired of it. She wanted peace and for people to leave her alone, but unfortunately she knew that because of her status as a junior Loomis that was never going to happen. She was stuck getting hate forever.
Walking inside the apartment she barely put her things down before she had two arms wrapped tightly around her in a loving hold. She didn't even have to look to know who it was.
"Sammy! I am so happy you're back!" You gushed excitedly as you looked at her. "How was your day baby?"
Sam couldn't help but smile at how happy you were to see her. It made her heart swell with absolute adoration and love because of the fact that you were genuinely happy to see her.
"Uh, things were good babe. Nothing particularly interesting happened today." She said softly.
You looked at her with a wide smile before dragging her to the couch and making her sit down before running off. You said nothing before running into the kitchen to grab what you had made for her. It wasn't much but you knew that Sam would appreciate it.
"A hot meal for the hottest girl I know!" You said as you handed her a plate of food. "Enjoy."
Sam had just finished eating after work but she definitely wasn't about to let this go to waste. Especially after you worked for hard to make dinner for her. It was sweet and the food looked amazing so that was a bonus.
"Oh my gosh! Baby this is amazing!"
You smiled at how honest she was. You weren't a cook, in fact you couldn't cook, but knowing that Sam enjoyed what you made had you smiling proudly at the fact that she likes your food.
"I'm glad you like it. It took some time but I think I pulled it off." You said proudly.
Sam pulled you in for a tight hug and kissed the top of your head. "You did amazing baby and I am so proud of you." She said softly. "So proud baby."
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Sam was sitting on the couch watching you do a puzzle that you had discovered. It looked pretty simple but you've been at it for an hour now and you seemed to be very entertained by it. She didn't really understand the hype about puzzles but she did enjoy watching you have fun.
"Baby how are you not bored yet?" Sam asked.
You giggled as you glanced at her. "Because it's so fun! I think I'm close to putting the whole puzzle together. I just need some time." You said. Sam said nothing and just sat back and watched as you continued with your puzzle.
With a sweet smile on her face Sam takes out her phone and records you. She didn't know why but she wanted to capture this moment. It wasn't anything super significant, but you look at peace with the world around you and to her that was reason enough to take a video of you.
"Sammy quick take a picture! Take a picture!" You shouted excitedly.
Sam chuckled but did what she was asked and took a picture. "Why did you want a picture?" She asked. "Because I want to remember this day forever! How I actually completed a puzzle I started and didn't forget about it halfway through." You told her. Sam nodded and decided to take another picture from a better angle.
Carefully placing the puzzle on the table you smiled again as you took another picture. You knew you had enough but you were just so excited that you actually finished that you had to take another one just for the memories.
"Sam! Y/n! We need your help." Tara yelled as she walks in.
"Yes please tell Tara here that the Babadook is a bad movie." Mindy says.
While you were confused Sam knew exactly what was going on. "I just don't get how you can hate something that you haven't even finished watching," she laughs. "You put it on once, turned it off halfway and never watched it again." She said. Mindy nodded at that. "Yeah because I didn't like it." She said in an obvious tone. "I thought you knew that," she added. Tara rolled her and turned to look at you. "So what do you think Y/N? Is the Babadook a bad movie like Mindy says?" She asks.
"Oh I've never seen it." You said easily.
Both girls looked at you like you just kicked a puppy. "What?" They asked. "You've never seen it?" You shook your head. "Nope. Never. I'm not a fan of those movies." You said. Mindy was confused when you said that. "What do you mean?"
You shrugged "scary movies. I'm not into them after my cousin made me watch Friday The 13th when I was twelve and it gave me nightmares for two months." You said. "So I don't watch them."
Tara knotted her eyebrows together as she looks at you with confusion written all over her face. "But you know the Stab franchise," she points out. "So you obviously know horror movies." She argued. You nodded in agreement with that. "Yes I know Stab, but I have never seen Stab." You tell her. "Just because I have heard of something or something is popular enough to talk about doesn't mean that I've seen them," you explained.
"If not horror then what do you like?" Mindy asked.
"Musicals!" You and Sam said at the same time, which made you both giggle.
While Mindy was fake gagging at the cuteness, Tara was looking at her sister. "How did you know that?" She asked. Sam shrugged with a smile on her face. "It's pretty easy to decipher. She practically explodes when a new music is announced." She said. Both Tara and Mindy nodded before turning to you.
"So what is your favorite musical then?" Tara asked.
You smiled "In The Heights." You said easily. "The music and cinematography is amazing! Also Vanessa is the best character with the best voice," you gushed excited. Mindy laughed at that. "Yeah we already knew that. I mean she looks like Sam so of course she's your favorite." She teased, which made you blush.
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Today was a long day for Sam and she was only halfway through her shift at the new coffee shop. She felt like she couldn't catch a break today and it was frustrating. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong and she was angry. People were more rude today and several coworkers of hers unfortunately found out about her father and were using the new information to antagonize her. Today was a bad day and she really couldn't wait to go home.
Taking her break Sam sat alone with her eyes closed as she tries to calm herself down. She was still talking to her therapist and they have been working on ways for her to relax when she's feeling stressed or angry. So far it's working.
After her break things smoothed out for Sam. She felt more relaxed and working was less stressful for her. She still couldn't wait to go home, but for now things were good. She just hopes that they stay that way.
You stood in the kitchen with your phone opened as you repeatedly looked over the recipe you wanted to make. It was a pasta dish and it seems simple enough to make but you still wanted to make sure that you had everything correct that you needed. Cooking was never your strong suit but you tried. However, today was special and you needed everything to go well today. It just had to go well.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Mindy asked.
"Yeah that doesn't seem right." Chad said softly.
You sighed and bowed your head. "Honestly? I'm not even sure anymore." You whispered. Tara gave both Mindy and Chad a look before turning to you. "Y/N, everything is going to be ok. You have the ingredients and I am sure we can find a tutorial on this." She said. Your eyes snapped opened and you quickly grabbed your phone and typed in the recipe. "I think I have an idea."
With things finally coming together you felt way more relaxed and could finally go get ready. Tonight was special and you wanted everything to go perfectly and be perfect. All of this was for Sam and you really hope she likes it.
Walking inside the apartment it was pretty dark. The only thing giving Sam any light was the two candles on either end of the table. They sat by two plates that was loaded with pasta and a nice salad. It was really cute!
"Sammy! You're home!"
Two arms were wrapped tightly around Sam's body and her face was quickly littered in kisses from her very happy girlfriend. "Hi, baby. Did you do all of this?" She asked. You nodded as you pulled back but never let go. "Yes! I wanted to do something nice for our date night." You tell her.
Sam's eyes lit up when she heard that and without saying anything she kissed you. It was a very needy kiss that was filled with all the love and passion she could muster. She didn't know why but she just felt like she had to show you just how much she loves you. She really loves you.
Pulling away Sam rests her forehead against yours and smiled at you. "This is amazing baby! Thank you." She said softly. You smiled proudly. "You're welcome honey!"
The date was filled with laughter and love as you both shared stories about your day. Sam compliment your food and told you how beautiful you looked, which made you blush as you shyly thanked her. It was a nice night that was crashed by Tara, Chad and Mindy because they wanted you and Sam to watch some new horror movie that was out. Sam was ready to defend you and say no but you decided that you wanted to watch. So you guys did.
You hated the movie but having Sam right next to you, whispering how after you guys would watch that musical you liked made everything better. You and Sam both shared a look that told you each how lucky the other was to have each other. You both knew that the bond you shared was real and the love you had would never go away because you both were head over heels for one another.
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lunarcloak · 10 days
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Blue Lock Chapter 262: Visual Storytelling
Can we talk about the visual imagery this chapter?? Kaneshiro is always cooking but Nomura cooked extra hard this time with his own illustrative storytelling
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An almost entirely white panel. Except for the black spot of Kaiser's hunched figure. Almost as if he's the stain on an otherwise perfect game from BM right now. (He's thrown off balance.)
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Here, in the first picture, this is Isagi's view of where Kaiser is right now. On top of a puzzle piece— a symbol of Isagi's power, and also a symbol of how off kilter he is. The second picture is part of a larger paneling of how he's being left on the ground as Isagi runs past him in a flurry of puzzle pieces. Almost as if Isagi's kicking the pieces of his perfect puzzle astray, leaving him to rebuild them from scratch. (The theme of this chapter.)
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You can tell he's only barely listening. Eyes are always a huge indicator of visual storytelling— i picked this up from looking at BSD panels for too long. Here there's virtually no pupils, smaller, wider eyeballs because he's not listening to Ness's words. They're going in one ear out the other. Because Ness's words are superficial— He's trying to help, he is, but that is desperately NOT what Kaiser needs right now. He needs to figure out how to FIX this. Not to retreat back into the safety of his cocoon so that he can pretend he's still the star on the field.
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NOTICE HOW EVERYTHING IN THE SECOND PANEL CAN DIRECTLY BE RELATED TO ISAGI. The offer from Reale— what if Yoichi gets it instead of me? The throne in this team— what if Isagi takes that, too? Am I about to lose everything I worked to get myself? The whole world is watching my worst performance in years. I can't lose here. I can't be defeated here. Not here, of all places, in Blue Lock.
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Negative colouring. The previous, prominent memory I have of this is when Rin went to his "flow" state. It's specifically to emphasise the "HUMAN" wording. It's usually used to showcase a very prominent moment, in this case it's Kaiser realising exactly what the core of his worry is right now. It isn't the defeat, not beating Isagi, not anything. At the moment, he's afraid of losing the very humanity he had thought he clawed himself into. To emphasise this, the black and white being reversed are to indicate that time almost freezes, completely changing his perspective and line of thought at that moment.
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Less dramatic, still negatively scaled panel. Emphasising how he's really digging into his psyche here and going "Oh, I'm scared. I'm afraid of losing everything I've got for myself." The last time this happened was when his secret money stash was found— he didn't care as much then, because there was nothing to lose that he hadn't already lost. But now? Now, it matters a lot more. Because he's built himself up on an entirely shaky foundation. Note how he's also sliding below here, losing his footing, like he's lost the stable ground he thought he had.
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The angle of this panel makes it look like he's climbing upwards, and he's just lost his grip on the wall before him, and is in the process of falling. It's extremely well done.
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Plenty people have already pointed this one out— yeah Isagi's just reached a height that's similar to Noa's. The position Kaiser thought he used to have, but now he's not even on the staircase to victory and the treasure he thought he would attain soon is now inching towards his most challenging rival to date.
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You will never see him this tired, this defeated, or this melancholic ever again. At this point, his eyes are no longer that wide, shocked stare of not seeing. Now he's comprehended his stance, and he's come back into himself.
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Each petal is a memory, a visual representation of the crumbling of the rose he once held. It's gone now, there's no rose in his hand anymore (nothing for him to hold onto anymore). When you have no roses in hand, you grow a new bouquet. When you have nothing, there's nothing to lose if you go reaching for something to hold onto again.
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But HERE, the petals can be interpreted in two ways— either he's being reformed from the petals of a new rose (blank petals, not representative ones). OR, you can interpret it as those very petals dissipating from his being, leaving him as this black, blank slate to rebuild himself. Zero— as in no colour, no petals, no gardens to flourish anymore. Only way to move now is up.
Also I'd like to draw your attention to the negative paneling again— inverted this time, the exact opposite of the previously conveyed emotion. Now he's the one in the black, working to redefine himself. He's already redefined the external aspects.
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Your Zero— Your Beginning. I LOVE this page, even if it's a repeat. It conveys so much. Kaneshiro and Nomura are such a GOOD TEAM
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A black hand clasps around the core memory— the memory of when he truly had only his football. He can't let that petal float away, that's one he wants to keep. That's the idea he wants to hold onto. He crushes the petal into his hand, assimilating it into his new beginning. That's the one he'll hold onto, to recraft the person that is Michael Kaiser.
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mindfulstudyquest · 2 months
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❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗽𝗿𝗼 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮'𝘀
having good grades doesn't necessarily mean you're smart, a test or exam can't always determine someone's intelligence, but it's academic validation we crave, right? so here are some tips thanks to which you will get straight a's.
𝟭. understand what the professor wants ( 🪼 )
learning the entire book by heart is tiring and basically useless. we take our education seriously, but it's impossible to know everything about everything, so inevitably there will be topics we can gloss over. check old tests, listen to the teacher during the lecture, talk to students who have already attended the course and passed the exam. understand which aspects your professor particularly cares about and concentrate on those, your exam will certainly go well.
𝟮. strengthen your memorization ( 🦋 )
very often the amount of things to study is just too much and, even though you spend all day in the library rereading the topics again and again, you feel that it is not enough. you get confused, you forget steps, you get lost in the labyrinth of the subject. investing in understanding your form of memorization will benefit you in the long run. identify your type of memory (spatial, photographic, echoic, etc.) and focus on how to improve it. having a good memory will make your studying for the exam much faster and easier.
𝟯. pay attention in class ( 🫧 )
attend all lectures and take notes. much of your studying comes from your professor's lecture. underline the important things in your textbook, carefully follow their speech and - if there are any - their powerpoint slides, writing only the things that the teacher adds and which are not written either in the book or in the extra material, if necessary, record the lesson so you can listen to it again at a later time.
𝟰. organize your notes the same day ( 🧃 )
when i take notes in class i write badly and quickly to keep up with the teacher, shortening words or omitting passages.  by reorganizing your notes that same evening (at most the next day, if you really don't have time) you can revise your work when the lesson is still fresh in your mind; if you wait too long, you will forget most of the things and you will find yourself staring blankly at pages of notes which, at that point, will seem more like hieroglyphics to you than anything else.
𝟱. use ai responsibly ( 🪴 )
artificial intelligence is everywhere nowadays and why not use it to our advantage? of course i'm not suggesting that you let an ai take care of all your tests and essays, it wouldn't make sense, however very often it helped me make a list of key points to develop in a research paper, or gave me excellent ideas and insights for projects. they can also be used to create flashcards, summarize and simplify articles, or create practice tests based on the material you will have to study.
𝟲. delve deeper into your “whys” ( 🌾 )
sometimes when i study i stare into space and wonder why i am studying something that seems completely irrelevant to my path. i'm sure it happens to you too, don't ignore this feeling. don't be afraid to explore themes and topics that aren't clear to you, if two statements seem contradictory ask yourself why, if you don't understand some passages, don't be afraid to ask a question. we study for ourselves, before studying to graduate, to work. there is no shame in not understanding, your intelligence lies in striving to clarify what seems obscure.
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dragon-ascent · 6 months
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Hi! I’m not sure if you’re taking requests.. (if not just ignore it) If you do can I ask for Zhongli waking up reader from their nightmare? Fluff fluff✨
Have a nice dayy
Nightmare
The murky water: thick, stifling, all-consuming. It makes its way past your mouth that gasps for air that never finds its way into your lungs, past your eyes that try and fail to find any beacon of hope.
It's hard to move - you feel heavy, and any swimming expertise you might have fails to rear its head as you flail around in this ocean of black, black darkness. It's like you barely have any control over your body - like a hapless ragdoll, you find yourself at the mercy of the ruthless untamable.
The waves submerge you, hardly having faced a fight. Down into the depths you go, the water pulling your body in different directions. Eerie voices whisper and leer at you as your limbs struggle in one last futile attempt...you're being torn apart...what are the voices saying?
Incomprehensible...
Suffocating...
Paralyzing...
Silencing...
...
"Darling. Darling?"
Oh, so this is what it's like to die. You wake up in heaven with your beloved being the first face you see. Or...no, what happened was-
"Did you have a nightmare?" Zhongli pulls you close without even needing to wait for a response, because he knows. Of course he does.
When you murmur a meek 'yes,' Zhongli kisses your forehead and wipes away tears that you had barely realized were there.
"I'm here, my darling. I'm here now. Nothing shall harm you." He rocks you back and forth at a languid rhythm, stroking your back while he allows you to stew over it quietly. "If you are willing, would you like to tell me about it?"
You drop your tired gaze to the warm, fuzzy blanket covering you both. "It's...it'll sound silly..."
Your husband kisses you again, so tenderly your soul might just melt. "Nothing you say will sound silly, my love. What you have felt in the moment will never be silly."
You find a small smile creeping onto your lips, and so you tell him all about the dark sea, the crushing waves, and the utter helplessness you felt as you slowly drowned.
Zhongli nods solemnly after you finish recounting your nightmare. "Yes, that does sound frightening," he says, running his fingers through your hair. "I'm sorry you had to experience that. I would have been afraid too, had I been in your position."
"You get scared of things, too?"
"Of course, dear. It is one of the factors contributing to my...distaste of seafood." Perhaps it's your imagination, but you can feel him nearly shudder against you.
Your sniffle turns into a soft giggle. "I didn't think of that."
He holds you in silence for a while, punctuating it with gentle kisses and soft whispers of affirmations. The way his arms envelope you is so...comforting, so warm, so protective. You barely register that you're lying back down on your pillow again in a more relaxed position, your tears long dried-up, his arms still wrapped around you with that same protectiveness.
"Shall I give you a nicer dream tonight?" asks Zhongli.
You look into his faintly-glowing eyes. "You can do that?"
"I am an adeptus, after all. Shaping dreams comes second nature, much like sub-space creation."
Smiling softly, thanking all the stars that you found a man like Zhongli, you say, "Yeah. I'd like that."
He caresses your cheek. "Tell me. What shall I have you dream of?"
You don't even hesitate. "You and me, stargazing atop a hill. We would even catch colorful falling stars, because we'd be so high up and super close to the sky." You blush, feeling a little silly for saying it now.
But Zhongli had already made it clear nothing you say earnestly would be silly. "A fine dream," he murmurs, "one I would love to share with you. Now close your eyes, darling, and I promise to meet you there atop that hill where we can catch the stars together."
The God of Contracts never goes back on his word - when your eyes close you find yourself lulled into an easy slumber; and when the initial shroud of black gives way, there stands your husband under a zoetrope of dancing stars, with a smile as warm as the spring sun.
He beckons, and you happily approach.
Finally getting around to requests! Please feel free to drop anything in my inbox, Zhongli-centric of course, and I'll be more than happy to whip something up~
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bvidzsoo · 3 months
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Who am I? (Part 2)
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Author: bvidzsoo
Warning: manhandling, smut, cursing, violence, toxicity
Pairing: Jeong Yunho x female reader
Word count: 14,7k
Summary: Jeong Yunho remained an enigma to you despite knowing him for over two months now. An extraordinary med student by day and a menacing gang member by night. There wasn't a label put to your relationship, and you liked it that way, but what happens when you finally face a disagreement, which makes you question the whole meaning of whatever is between Yunho and yourself. Is it really worth it for you? Or are the feelings too strong already to break it off?
A/N: Uh...yeah. I advise you check out Part 1 before reading this, thank u!! A second part was really unnecessary BUT I saw one picture of Yuyu and uh...my brain decided to work on its own and come up with a continuation, lol. But I think I'm finally ready to end their story as it is in here (unless I randomly get inspired again, save me). Tbh, this took an unexpected turn even for myself lol, I'm giving the side eye to Mr. Jeong Yunho currently. He's not that toxic, uh, but he's got it in him ngl, excuse this little silly guy for now. I hope you enjoy and your feedback is always appreciated! Enjoy now! ^^
⟨Part 1⟩
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            There wasn’t a label to our relationship. We just…were. The two of us, together, in some weird way. I don’t know how we worked out, or why we worked out, but two months later Yunho and I were still hanging out and…sleeping together. It was a peculiar feeling—not knowing what we exactly were—but it was also freeing. I knew I didn’t have to question us; Yunho just brought that sense of safety with himself. Even in my previous committed relationships I haven’t felt this safe—this assured that the person next to me was fully committed to me, and only me. Yunho was—the same. He was still weird in my eyes even if I have grown somewhat used to his behavior. To the Jeong Yunho everyone knew from university, and the Jeong Yunho who seemed to be truly him. I knew both sides of him by now and it made me think that he’s just simply a versatile person, as he had early in our relationship said, he had a colorful personality and he wasn’t afraid to use this to his own advantage. He knew how to portray himself to be liked by those around him, but he wasn’t scared to let his ‘darker’ side show through when the situation called for it. He was intriguing, and he certainly knew how to keep you focused on him—locked in. He was like a vice, one you could never let go of unless someone noticed that you were withering away and finally offered help, a shoulder to lean on. I wasn’t sure if that is where I stood currently, if I needed someone to help me out—to take me away from him. I didn’t even know if I wanted my life to—be like it was before the two of us knew each other like this.
Yunho was mysterious and he never disclosed anything about himself if it wasn’t necessary, I only knew the basics about him. He loved coffee, but would prefer a tea rather than the iced energizer. He struggled to go to sleep early and often his nights were ridden with nightmares, causing his sleep to be restless, thus he was often tired in the mornings. Surprisingly enough, he was a morning person, and enjoyed going on morning runs, no matter the weather. Yunho loved staying in on the weekends to watch cheesy movies, and perhaps if this came as a surprise, his talent in baking came as an even bigger surprise. He was resilient and hard-working, not once slacking or behind on his assignments, only urging me on to do my own as we often sat down to study together. And he had money—more than necessary, in my opinion—yet never flaunted it around. Not in a very obvious way, of course, unless he was taking us out on dates in high-end and super fancy restaurants on the rich side of the city, sending me over-priced silk dresses with a note attached to it, Wear it tonight. Yunho was distinctive in every sense of the word and he was certainly luring me in more and more as time passed. I couldn’t tell whether that was smart or not, there were plenty of things I still didn’t know about him. His secrets were well kept, yet sometimes I could see through the cracks. He was in a gang and he was doing illegal things, things which perhaps were dangerous and would certainly drive me away from him if I knew about them. But Yunho made sure I remained oblivious to them as much as I could and I never complained—unless it started directly affecting me.
The halls of our university were busy as everyone was in recess, walking down the hallways, everyone headed to their own business. I was done for now, I only had one more class later in the afternoon, but Yunho wouldn’t be free until late in the afternoon. The weather was extremely beautiful today, compared to the chilly and windy days we’ve had these past weeks, and so we took advantage of that as we hoarded outside the university’s cold stone walls, soaking up the sunlight as best as we could as we were sitting on a big blanket spread out in the grass. Mingi was with us, laying on his back as he had a book above his head, eye narrowed and nose scrunched as he had lowered the book uncomfortably close to his face.
“Hey,” He spoke up, nudging Yunho with his foot as Yunho was sitting by him, “hand me your sunglasses. You don’t need them.”
Yunho hummed once, busy eating his salad full of nutrients, before he took his sunglasses off his head and threw them at Mingi. I continued underlining the important information from my book for my upcoming assignment, sighing loudly when I realized I still had ten pages to flip through. The warm sun still didn’t have its full power, but I welcomed it dearly as my skin craved its warmth. I never dealt well with the cold, broody, winter days. My sigh caught Yunho’s attention, however, and his eyes found mine as I glanced his way.
“What’s the matter?” He asked quietly as he scooched closer, mouth full of his homemade salad.
“Nothing.” I mumbled and went back to underlining another sentence as my eyes quickly ran over the fancy words, trying to connect them to what I knew would be useful for my research.
“Want some help?” Yunho asked quietly, settling in a comfortable seat next to me, his broad shoulder knocking into mine as he bumped our shoulders together lightly. I shook my head wordlessly and continued diligently working as Yunho quietly finished his lunch and Mingi turned around, laying on his stomach as he raised his legs and started lightly swinging them in the air. It was a cute sight; it brought a smile to my lips as I glanced his way. Mingi had class in half an hour and he decided to hang out with us when he saw Yunho and I walking down the corridor. Mingi and I were in different groups, therefore our timetables differed at times.
“Is this for your latest assignment?” Yunho asked as he placed his empty container back into his backpack, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He wore a grey hoodie over a beige turtleneck today, tucked into his favorite light blue, washed out, ripped jeans. It was the first time he didn’t wear his usual colorful outfits to university, and it certainly had turned some heads in the morning when his leather jacket was on him as well.
“Yeah, got two weeks to finish it.” I mumbled defeated, catching the slight thumping of my head. The breeze lightly picked up and brushed my copper strands against my face, until Yunho’s long fingers curled into the strands and pushed them behind my ear. I glanced at him from my peripheral and noticed him looking at me deeply, his brown eyes warm and light in the sunlight, like an amber cracking in the lively fire. I couldn’t help but softly smile, my body softening as I leaned into his side, his presence calming. Mingi let out a long sigh and there was a quiet thump as he let his head fall on his book, placed on the blanket. I chuckled as I watched his theatrics, Yunho straightening his right leg and kicking at Mingi’s foot.
“What’s got your knickers in a twist today, princess?” Yunho teased his best friend, earning a groan from Mingi.
“Shut up,” He moaned out in frustration as he pushed himself up, checking his wristwatch, “I fucking hate the professor I have class with in fifteen minutes, I don’t want to go.”
“Don’t go then,” I pipped up, grinning at him, “I’ve got the notes. I’ll let you have them.”
“Aren’t you a sweetheart, Y/N?” Mingi grinned for a second, running his hands through his black hair, ruffling it up, “But he doesn’t like me and has a personal vendetta against me, so I gotta go. Two more weeks and I’ll never have to see his face again.”
I raised my eyebrows at Mingi, about to destroy his fantasy, “Until our next module with him, which is in like…three months.”
“Shut up.” Mingi groaned as he got up from the blanket and dusted his jeans off, grabbing his book and backpack, pocketing his phone as Yunho handed it over to him. He thanked him quietly and checked his wristwatch again, very clear on his face that he didn’t want to go, “See you around.”
“My sunglasses.” Yunho reached a hand out, patiently waiting for Mingi to hand them over, but the younger one just chuckled and stuck his tongue out at Yunho.
“You wish. These are mine now.” And with that, he took off, making Yunho huff next to me as I chuckled, amused by their antics. Besides myself, I think Mingi is the only person who knows how Yunho is—who he truly is.
“That rascal.” Yunho muttered underneath his breath and I smiled, going back to the remaining six pages I still had to read, “You sure you don’t need help?”
“Yeah,” I hummed, “You’ve helped me enough before.”
“And I’ll keep helping you, it’s not a big deal.” I raised my head and turned to look at Yunho as his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his expression serious. He looked calm, his mind probably quiet for once. He was a man who’s thoughts ran miles per hour. My fingers itched to reach out and to be run through his hair, massaging the skin of his nape, but I refrained from doing so—the two of us were never too affectionate with each other out in public. It’s not because we were keeping whatever was going on between each other a secret, it’s just that neither one of us was a big fan of showing intimacy in front of others. Yunho was subtle with it, and I just simply refrained from such gestures, feeling uncomfortable by strangers seeing us and judging us for what we were doing. But there were little moments when we both gave in to these urges, and I watched as Yunho leaned forward and pressed his soft lips against my right cheek, lips lingering against my skin as he breathed out against it, nose pressing against my heated skin. It came naturally that I flushed whenever he kissed my cheek, it felt intimate, sweet even. Something which was a nice change when it came to Yunho, who was a passionate and reactive man, indulging to his urges and whatever he was feeling in the moment.
“I should head home soon, have lunch and sleep some before my class.” I spoke up as Yunho finally pulled back, eyes soft as his lower lip jutted out.
“Want me to drive you home?”
“No, the weather is nice, I’ll walk.” Our serene ambivalence was broken the second there was a shout of Yunho’s name and a rushed man running our way, his brown hair disheveled as his backpack slung messily around on his back. Wooyoung wore a bright red jacket and black jeans so long it made me wonder how he hadn’t faceplanted already as he neared us. He had a wide grin on his lips and I felt Yunho shifting, his body pressing more firmly into mine, almost pushing me away.
“Hi, guys!” Wooyoung greeted loudly, disturbing the few people around us who had the same recreational idea in mind as us. Wooyoung was panting as he leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees.
“Hello, Wooyoung.” I greeted him back politely. He was one of Yunho’s friends, an obnoxiously loud man, but with a pure heart and good intentions. He was blunt, but also very caring. He was a free spirit which his small body couldn’t fully contain, bursting with the light he had to offer to the world. Wooyoung was a literature student and he absolutely loved what he was studying, often quoting something from the books he’s read or was currently reading. He had his nose in a book at all times, it was endearing to see. However, despite Yunho never voicing it, I felt the distaste he had towards the boy. Perhaps it was the shameless flirting Wooyoung seemed to be doing with everyone around him that Yunho disliked so much, and he often whatnot made it quite visible when Wooyoung hung out with us—at least when I was around too. Or so Mingi had told me one afternoon as we had hung out between classes, grabbing a coffee. Despite Mingi and I being in the same major, our somewhat friendship only kicked off after I became a prominent person in Yunho’s life. Figures it would have happened at some point, it seemed to me that Mingi was the most precious person to Yunho after himself—he could be quite selfish at times.
“What are you up to?” Wooyoung asked animatedly and I chuckled, closing my book. I have decided I have had enough for today.
“I was just about to head home, don’t know about Yunho, though.” As I went to grab my bag, I felt a heavy arm draped around my shoulders, Yunho’s long, cold, fingers curling tightly against my shoulder, squeezing lightly. I paused for a second and looked back at him, one eyebrow raised, but he didn’t spare me a glance as he was looking straight at Wooyoung.
“I’m headed to the library. I’ve got two hours before my next class.” His voice was cold, yet he had an eerily friendly smile on his lips. Wooyoung paid him no mind as he grinned and nodded, grabbing his phone out of his pocket as he tapped away on the screen. I placed my book into my bag and glanced at Yunho when he still didn’t release me, “Care to join me?”
Wooyoung nodded eagerly as he put his phone away, pushing his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, “Sure, I’m waiting for my cousin to come pick me up. But until then we could hang out. I’ve got a new book I have to start reading, the timing is perfect, if you ask me.”
“Sure.” Yunho chuckled, but it lacked any friendliness. Wooyoung still didn’t seem to notice it. I cleared my throat and threw Yunho a look as I peeled his arm off me, getting to my feet. My bottom had gone numb at some point and I shook my legs out, groaning at the stabbing feeling in my feet.
“You’ve gone numb?” Wooyoung asked with a chuckle as he watched me amused, and I nodded with a grin.
“Sure did, I think I’ve been sitting in the same spot for an hour now.” I said as I grabbed my bag, but was surprised to find Yunho holding onto it, and not letting go. I raised my eyebrows at him and noted how his jaw was clenching tightly, eyebrows slightly furrowed. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask whether he was alright or not, but him suddenly standing up took me off guard.
“Shake it out like this—” Wooyoung speaking up got my attention as I turned my head to look at him, feeling Yunho’s looming presence over my shoulder as he pressed up against me, firm chest flushed against my back. Wooyoung was goofily jumping around, shaking his ass rather than his legs, and it made me laugh at the imagery in front of me. My laughter prompted Wooyoung to laugh as well, making him stop his antics.
“Thank you, but I think I’ll refrain from shaking my ass around and disturbing the people around us,” I said amused, making Wooyoung pout, “I’m sure they didn’t sign up for it when they decided to enjoy the sunlight—which is slowly going away.”
I sighed sadly, the clouds gathering around as the breeze was picking up, urging me on to zip up my coat. I looked back at Yunho and signaled for him to hand me my bag over, however, the displeasure in his expression took me off guard. It’s been long since I have seen him this hostile. Perhaps since the last time we had gone out on a date and the waiter kept flirting with me the whole time as if Yunho wasn’t even there at the table, sitting with me.
“Hey, if it’s sunny tomorrow too,” Wooyoung suddenly proposed, eyes shining with excitement, “Want to go play some basketball? It’s been long since I played, but I’ve still got it in me—promise.”
I hummed in thought and yanked my bag out of Yunho’s hold when he wouldn’t let go still, giving him a small glare. What was up with him? He’d been fine just minutes ago. Why was he acting up all of a sudden?
“I mean, I’m not big on sports, but I could definitely use some exercise.” I turned to look at Yunho, “Yunho? What about you?”
“I’m not into basketball.” He fired quickly, throwing a glare Wooyoung’s way, but the younger one was either really good at ignoring the murderous look on Yunho’s face or he just simply didn’t notice. The later was probably better, but it was also only angering Yunho more.
“Sure, you don’t have to come. I’ve got other friends who like it, Y/N, I’m sure you’ll like them.” Wooyoung was babbling on, obviously not noticing the simmering anger in Yunho’s eyes. I cleared my throat and smiled tensely, a little off-thrown by the situation, by Yunho’s behavior, “I’ve been wanting to introduce you to them for a while now.”
Yunho scoffed loudly, and that finally caught Wooyoung’s attention as his eyebrows lightly furrowed, confusion written all over his face as I cleared my throat awkwardly.
“Sure, sounds cool.” But I forced a smile on my lips before clapping my hands together, and taking a small step away from Yunho’s side. I needed to get going now, “I’ll be on my way though, enjoy your time in the library, you guys.”
“Have a lovely afternoon, Y/N.” Wooyoung called cutely, a dimple showing as his lips were pulled into a big smile.
“You too, Wooyoung.” I smiled back at him before turning to face Yunho, wanting to say my goodbyes to him as well, except that I was greeted by a big hand wrapping around my jaw and pulling me forward as he painfully crashed his lips against mine. A surprised noise left the back of my throat, eyes wide as Yunho forced my lips apart with his, slipping his tongue inside my mouth. He’s never done anything like this in public before, and I found it hard to react as I was taken aback, heart suddenly racing in my chest. Before I could reciprocate the kiss, Yunho was already pulling away, my lower lip between his teeth as he bit down on it painfully, making my eyebrows furrow as I grabbed his wrist and pushed his hold off my face, giving him a glare but a confused look as well as my lips were pulsing, hot, and coated with Yunho’s saliva from the messy and aggressive kiss he had just given me. I didn’t want to vocalize my thoughts, which would’ve been a loud what the fuck, Yunho, so I just deepened my glare as he stared deeply into my eyes, anger still simmering in them. His irrational behavior had no sense and I shook my head when I realized he was turning this into a staring contest, of who would give in first—that being me, of course, as I wasn’t in the mood for childish games. Besides, I knew Yunho hated it when I dismissed him, and that’s what he deserved for the behavior he had just exhibited. When my eyes fell on Wooyoung again, he was looking away awkwardly, cheeks flushed as his lips were in a tight line. I felt sorry for him and also humiliated when I felt Yunho trying to close the gap between our bodies, but I cleared my throat and stepped around him.
“Okay, goodbye.” I said loudly as I gave Yunho a pointed glare, Wooyoung’s wave weak as I turned and stalked off, leaving the two males behind. And I knew Wooyoung wouldn’t hang out with Yunho today, the older one’s attitude too off-putting for Wooyoung, who was simply nice and friendly with me. And if Yunho texted me later today, he certainly wasn’t getting a reply. I did not like being treated like an object, like a doll. And I certainly did not like being presented as someone who had ownership over themselves by another person. It was the one thing Yunho never truly, fully, understood during our relationship as he was a possessive and overly protective man. I would not be branded as his, nor treated like a piece of doll.
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            It had been a few days since Yunho and I had spoken, due to a multitude of reasons. The most pressing one was the way he acted when Wooyoung had approached us, and perhaps the fact that he saw no faults in his attitude when he texted a half-assed apology later that evening. But another reason was life catching up with the both of us. I had to take up more shifts at the convenience store as I was starting to run short on money while the deadline to pay my fees at the university was dangerously nearing, and Yunho had not long ago started his residency at the local hospital. He didn’t have a fixed schedule yet, but he preferred taking the night shifts more often than not, sometimes letting me stay overnight at his apartment alone. I never understood how he does it, but whenever I woke up there was homemade breakfast laid out on the table nicely in his living room, with Yunho freshly showered and scrolling through his phone as he lazily dried his hair with a towel. I would often walk up to him and help him out, taking the towel out of his hand as I rubbed it against his damp hair, making Yunho sigh loudly when I would run my fingers through his hair, softly massaging his scalp. Usually in the mornings nothing much was said between the two of us, and I preferred it that way. I liked the calm and quiet, having the chance to sort out my plans for the day I had ahead of me. But it’s been almost two weeks since I slept over, and I couldn’t help but sigh as I realized I was thinking about Yunho again. We’ve never fought before, never even went a day without texting each other, even if just briefly. It was a little unnerving to realize how big part of my life Yunho had become, how his absence was unsettling and left me feeling agitated and unsafe. I should have known better that allowing him into my life would bring consequences, and even if we weren’t a defined item, I didn’t know where we stood now that we weren’t talking. It was probably my fault, I was the one ignoring him, but I felt like this was my last attempt at trying to get him to understand that he couldn’t just claim me and make me his propriety. I hated these things; they made me feel dirty and uncomfortable.
As I was wiping the counter clean, earbuds in and bobbing my head to the music as clients had been quite scarce today, I heard the bell chime loudly over my music, quickly making me switch it off and take the earbuds out. I watched as a tall man walked inside, all-bulked up underneath the black turtleneck and form fitting jeans he wore. We looked at each other and I welcomed him, his face concealed by a facemask and a low hanging baseball cap. The sight wasn’t unusual, it didn’t ring any alarm bells in my head as I went back to wiping off the dust from the counter, crouching and putting the rag away once I was done. I grabbed the can of soda I had put away for myself and cracked it open as I stood, startled when I found the man right across me, the counter separating the two of us. He was alarmingly tall, perhaps taller than Yunho himself, and I had to tip my head slightly back to look him in the eyes. The guy had sharp eyes, dark, yet warm. I was sure I haven’t seen him around here before and I took the cup of ramen he pushed towards me wordlessly, scanning the item quickly.
“Want anything else?” I asked the customer in a monotone voice, keeping my face neutral, “We’ve got a promotion if you buy a drink of your choice with the ramen.”
The man made a humming sound before he nodded and stalked off towards the fridges, my eyes following his every move. He looked intimidating like this, with his face concealed and clothing dark. And the fact that he wasn’t talking was unnerving as well, but I pushed such thoughts to the back of my head as he returned with a can of soda identical to mine.
“This good?” He finally asked, voice not too deep nor raspy, slightly cracking at the end. I had to admit, he had a pleasant voice and I slightly relaxed as I nodded, scanning the soda in as well.
“Yeah, it’s a mix of grape and something lemony, the sparkling water really elevates the taste of it.” I answered him and the man nodded, grabbing his wallet out of his long coat’s pocket as I took a bag and placed his items inside, closing his tab. I let him know the amount he had to pay and took the money when he pushed it towards me, ignoring the way his finger brushed against my skin. It made me shiver, but I hoped he didn’t notice. His touch was cold and it reminded me of Yunho’s cold hands holding my body firmly. I quickly grabbed the change and handed it back to the customer, making sure our skins didn’t touch again as I flashed him a generic smile, thanking him for purchasing at us.
“Do you often work here?” He asked as he took off towards the door, making my eyebrows furrow as I glanced at him uneasily.
“Sometimes.” I chose to stay ambiguous as the man nodded once before saying his goodbyes, prompting me to do the same as I watched him leave through the glass door and then windows of the convenience store. I shook off the uneasy feeling as the man got inside a vehicle, one which looked slightly familiar, but I couldn’t figure out why and from where. But the little voice inside my head told me that I had seen it before. Before I could dwell more on it, a peculiar sight blocked my view of the strange customer leaving with his car. Yunho had pushed open the door of the convenience store slowly, his warm eyes falling on me and holding my gaze. I wouldn’t have thought not seeing him for a few days would send my heart into a frenzy as I took in his appearance, wavy hair concealed by a black fuzzy beanie with white stars on it. His jacket was missing despite the chilly breeze outside, but I suppose the fuzzy grey and white sweater which reached his knees was enough to keep him warm enough. He wore leather pants, and the longer I looked at his outfit the more it looked like he had borrowed his clothes from Mingi. Lately, Yunho had been experimenting with his clothing, and I could’ve sworn I saw Mingi wearing the exact same sweater Yunho was wearing right now. However, what made my mouth go dry and heartrate increase faster was the huge bouquet of blue Hyacinths he was holding in his hands, expression leveled until he reached the counter, leaning his hips against it. I remained silent as I watched Yunho, hands slightly shaking as I pushed them behind my back, clasping my fingers together. In all the two months we’ve been seeing each other, Yunho had not once given me flowers. It was an unusual sight and it was slightly unnerving, new, but it felt good.
“Hello,” He greeted quietly, searching for my eyes as I avoided eye contact. I was still irritated that he didn’t want to understand me and listen to me, but I knew one look at his face would make me forgive him instantly, “Uh, you’ve been ignoring me.”
I hummed as my eyes fell on the blue Hyacinths, their scent strong and refreshing. I’ve always loved these flowers; they were the harbingers of spring. I remained silent and Yunho sighed, suddenly moving. I finally looked up as the bouquet of Hyacinths was placed on the counter and pushed towards me, “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like it when I act like that, but it’s who I am, Y/N.”
I rolled my eyes but accepted the flowers as I took them from Yunho, cradling them against my chest as I looked down at them, closing my eyes as I sniffed their strong perfume, sweet yet biting, “I’ve missed you.”
It was the lack of hesitation he said it with that made me look up at Yunho wide eyed, mouth going dry at his sudden confession. Yunho rarely voiced his emotions, often times only being vocal about them during sex, which wasn’t a huge problem to me, but it would’ve felt nice sometimes hearing him talk about them without being buried deep in me and high of endorphins.
“Yeah,” I muttered after clearing my throat, feeling shy all of a sudden, “Life’s been quiet without you.”
Quiet, yet so chaotic as my thoughts were plagued with Yunho. I didn’t feel like letting him know that, it felt like I was overstepping some invisible boundary we have set. Yunho, though, seemed to understand as he hummed and nodded once, reaching over the counter and taking my hand in his as he pried it away from the bouquet. His palm was searing hot and his metal rings cold as they pressed against my skin, and I sighed, squeezing his fingers between mine, biting my lower lip as I looked down at our joined hands.
“Let’s hang out tonight,” Yunho proposed, voice quiet, “The guys invited me out, but afterwards you could crash at my place.”
I hummed and nodded without much hesitation, agreeing to his plan. I didn’t have it in me to turn down his invitation, I have missed him too. I wanted to spend time with him, I wanted to be close to him again.
“Seonghwa said Sooyoung was coming too.” Hearing my friend’s name made me smile as I finally looked up into Yunho’s chocolate brown eyes, noting the happiness written all over his face. He was probably glad I wanted to hang out with him, finally not dismissing him anymore.
“Cool, I’ll talk to her and we’ll go together.” I spoke up, making Yunho pout as his grip against my hand tightened, “We’ll be spending the night together either way, I haven’t had the chance to hang out with Sooyoung this week yet. I miss her.”
“More than me?” Yunho raised his eyebrows and I chuckled, softly prying my hand out of his and crouching down to try and find something I could place the bouquet in.
“Bros before hoes.” I cracked a cheeky smile and it made Yunho laugh, a sound I rarely had the chance to hear. It was usually him the one making me laugh, it felt good being able to make him laugh. I grinned as I watched Yunho chuckle to himself before composing himself and stepping back as I found a little glass vase, perfect to hold my bouquet of blue Hyacinths until I went home, “Text me the details.”
“Sure, I’ll see you later, angel.” He winked and I ignored the way my cheeks instantly flushed, never quite used to Yunho’s flirty side as it rarely made its appearance. I stood up and waved as Yunho left the convenience store, eyes on me until he rounded the corner, making me grin as my eyes fell on the flowers and remained on them. Perhaps he could bring me flowers more often, I wouldn’t mind.
            After finishing my shift, I met up with Sooyoung at her place, the two of us cooking some nice late lunch and gossiping about everything we haven’t told each other through text. It seemed like her and Seonghwa were going out now, but they weren’t quite in a relationship yet. She said this was working for her as she wanted to make sure Seonghwa truly was the man he portrayed himself to be, and she then asked about Yunho and I. She knew we haven’t talked in a while, so I told her about him showing up with flowers and confessing that he had missed me. It sent Sooyoung into a giggling mess, amusing me as I watched her ramble on about how Yunho should just ask me to be his girlfriend already, since everyone around us seems to be thinking that we are boyfriend and girlfriend. I reassured her that I didn’t need a label to feel comfortable with how things were between us, and Sooyoung confessed she was jealous of that, she could never be this easy-going. She needed the utmost security before entering a relationship. I could understand her.
After talking to Yunho, he sent us the location of the BBQ place we were meeting at, and told us to be there at eight sharp. I wasn’t in the mood to head home before leaving to said location, so Sooyoung let me wear one of the pretty dresses she owned. It was a black off-shoulder, long sleeved dress, and it reached just above my calves, the fabric warm and form fitting. I styled my hair in simple waves and applied a coral lip-gloss on my lips, matching the color of my hair as Sooyoung grinned at me while wearing her cute, but casual clothes as well. It wasn’t often that I wore dresses, but tonight I wanted to look nicer than usually, and, besides, this dress was one of the few clothing items Sooyoung owned that actually fit me as our height difference stopped us from sharing cute clothes with each other. She was half a head taller, the dress on her was a lot shorter than on my form, but it still looked nice. I had packed my clothes in my backpack and promised Sooyoung I would give the dress back once I have washed it. After finishing up and making sure everything we had used for our hair was unplugged, and the makeup put away, Sooyoung locked up and we left her apartment.
By the time we reached the BBQ place the streets were busy with people roaming around to find entertainment as it was a Friday evening, and the pub Yunho told us to meet them at was buzzing with life, filled to the brim with people. As we walked inside, I noted there weren’t any empty tables as Sooyoung craned her neck and looked around for the people we were here with. And she quickly found them. They were sat at a large round table, towards the middle of the room, and the table had already various flavored Soju bottles littered around, with the meat being grilled by Mingi as we came to a stop next to the table. It seemed like a few seats were empty, and Yunho wasn’t here yet as I looked at the familiar faces, searching for his. Seonghwa and Mingi looked at us at the same time, and Mingi was happy to see me as he said hi loudly, talking over the hubbub of the pub. Seonghwa was quickly on his feet, pressing a swift kiss against Sooyoung’s red lips, making her blush as she timidly greeted everyone sitting at the table. She sat next to Seonghwa, and as I didn’t know which seat was taken or not, I opted to play it safe and sat right next to her after Seonghwa assured me that the seat hadn’t been claimed yet. Jongho sat at the table, an empty chair between him and Mingi, right across from me. He seemed to be busy with his phone, greeting us hastily before he went back to it, fingers moving fast as he was typing. Mingi shot him a few glances, but didn’t say much to him. The seat to my right was empty, but not for long. Suddenly, I heard loud and shrill laughter coming from behind, and as I turned, I watched as Wooyoung was talking to someone taller than him, holding three bottles of undone Soju in his hands. The man he was talking to pat him on the shoulder before he beelined it to a different table, Wooyoung coming to a stop next to me. He looked ecstatic to see me, and I chuckled.
“Hi, Wooyoung.” I said with a laugh as he stumbled a bit, slamming the Soju bottles on the table accidentally, making Jongho glare at him.
“Careful.”
“Sorry.” Wooyoung pouted at the grumpy man before taking his seat between Jongho and myself, clapping his hands together, “Hi, Y/N! I haven’t seen you in quite a while.”
“Just four days or something.” I muttered with a chuckle and Wooyoung grinned, undoing the grapefruit flavored Soju.
“Yeah, and those are more than enough to make me miss you.” I rolled my eyes at the blatant flirting, but failed to notice the sharp gaze Mingi sent Wooyoung’s way as he had heard his words. Even Seonghwa paused for a second as his lips pulled into a straight line, but Sooyoung quickly had his attention once again, “Want some?”
I nodded eagerly as Wooyoung poured some Soju for me and I nudged Sooyoung with my elbow, raising an empty glass at her, “Want some?”
“Sure.” She grinned and Wooyoung poured some for her as well, “We have some catching up to do. These guys already finished four bottles.”
“We’re only half an hours late, please.” I said with a laugh before Wooyoung, Sooyoung, and I clanked our glasses together, downing the Soju. The taste of it was sour, yet not unbearable at all, and I took the Soju glass before pouring another shot for myself. Wooyoung grinned as encouraged me and poured himself another one as well, downing it at the same time with me. I groaned and thanked Jongho as he pushed his untouched Fanta towards me, letting me take a few sips before I handed it back to him. He seemed to be done with whatever he was doing on his phone as he had his hands clasped together and placed on the table, watching Mingi and giving him instructions on how to grill the meat better. Wooyoung chimed up next to me, but suddenly I felt big hands pressing against my bare shoulders, making me stiffen as my back straightened. I quickly looked back, but upon seeing Yunho’s towering form looming over me, I relaxed.
“Hi.” I said with a small smile, goosebumps erupting on my skin as Yunho’s calloused hands slowly dragged closer to my neck, his forefingers pressing into my nape. Yunho’s expression was neutral as his eyes slipped onto Wooyoung for a split second, and I didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched. It took me a few seconds to realize, and I sighed as I gave Yunho a look, begging him not to start this again. Wooyoung was just a friendly guy and whatever he said and did, it wasn’t anything serious. He was Yunho’s friend for fucks sake, it was Yunho who introduced us to each other. If he couldn’t stand the guy, why the hell did he continue hanging out with him—why did he even introduce me to him? I wanted a nice night out, not a tense filled evening where I couldn’t even look in Wooyoung’s direction without Yunho blowing up from anger.
“Hi.” Yunho muttered and he leaned down, his face close to mine. I looked in his eyes questioningly, waiting for him to make the first move. His nose twitched and I knew he hated all the eyes on us, but nonetheless, he still pressed a lasting kiss against my lips, keeping his eyes open as I didn’t close mine either. I gave him a warning glare as he pulled away and stepped back, his hands leaving my body as he tapped Wooyoung on the back a little too harshly before he took off towards his seat, which was in between Mingi and Jongho. I chuckled and shook my head for a second, amused but irritated at the same time. Sooyoung gave me a questioning look as I poured her and myself some Soju, Seonghwa and Mingi having a heated debate about whether the meat was better overcooked or undercooked. Jongho seemed to be disgusted as he voiced his opinion that it was only perfect if it was in the middle. I felt a small nudge against my wrist on the table and I looked towards Wooyoung, who was looking at me shyly, scratching the back of his neck.
“Do you think I make Yunho uncomfortable?” He whispered as he slightly leaned closer. My eyes fell on said person quickly, watching the way Yunho’s eyes darkened. I looked back at Wooyoung and forced on a small smile, feeling bad that I had to lie to him.
“That’s just how he is, don’t mind him.” I tried to answer as ambiguously as I could, but Wooyoung just pouted.
“So, he doesn’t like me.” He concluded and I frowned, feeling bad.
“He’s your friend, Wooyoung.” I tried, but Wooyoung just shrugged, “Of course, he likes you.”
“I mean,” He hummed and grabbed some peanuts from the bowl placed close to him, “not necessarily. We know each other through Jongho.”
“Yeah, and I question myself each day what was I thinking when I befriended you.” It seemed like Jongho was eavesdropping in on our conversation, but Wooyoung didn’t seem to mind as he made an offended sound, lurching towards Jongho. Jongho yelped as Wooyoung’s arms went around his neck and aggressively tried to press a kiss against Jongho’s cheek, making the younger one fight for his life. I started laughing at the small commotion, quickly stabilizing the stool Wooyoung sat on as it tipped towards Jongho, making him fall off.
“Enough, hey.” Seonghwa called out and grabbed his chopsticks, waving them threateningly in Jongho and Wooyoung’s direction, making the two settle down instantly. Jongho’s eyes could’ve killed as he glared at Wooyoung, but the boy seemed unthreatened as he sat back in his seat satisfied, grinning widely. I chuckled as Sooyoung and I looked at each other, her shaking her head. Mingi cleared his throat and motioned at the table.
“Meat is done, let’s start eating.” And so everyone dug in, Yunho’s eyes barely leaving me and making me almost choke on my food when I noticed. I raised my eyebrows at him, a silent question, but he didn’t react, face staying neutral. I just shrugged and continued eating, the food delicious and the meat well cooked, complimenting Mingi for his work, watching as a gloating smirk appeared on his lips. It made me chuckle as Jongho started arguing with him, telling him that the meat would’ve been worse if he didn’t help out, making Mingi hush him with an inoffensive threat. It didn’t take long for Wooyoung to nudge my wrist again, and I found it cute as I looked at him amused.
“So, uh…” He cleared his throat before proceeding with what he had to say, “I started this new book. It’s dark romance ad thriller. Want to hear about it? Maybe you’ll like it, I can lend it to you.”
“Sure.” I smiled and nodded my head, seeing from the corner of my eyes as Yunho took a big swing of his beer, eyes staring daggers at Wooyoung and me, but I ignored him. I wasn’t in the mood to focus on his jealous theatrics, and instead paid full attention to what Wooyoung had to say.
            And Wooyoung had a lot of things to say from then on, barely letting me pay attention to anyone else as he talked about anything that came to his mind, themes going from absurd to quite serious. It was nice to see the layers he had, and he was an entertaining person. I’ve always found talking to him quite easy, smooth, and flowing by itself. I tried not to pay much attention to Yunho, who looked more and more displeased as the hours went by, at some point turning his body in a way that he wouldn’t see Wooyoung and I anymore. It was childish, really, I was simply just socializing. I wasn’t giving any signals to Wooyoung, and he was also keeping everything cordial besides the little nudges he did against my wrist with his pinky. There was absolutely nothing to be worried about. Mingi and Jongho had gone out a few minutes ago to smoke their cigars, and for once, Wooyoung seemed enthralled by whatever him and Seonghwa were discussing at the moment, I hadn’t paid attention to them. The more time passed, the more drinks appeared on the table and it was quite visible that Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and Mingi were quite tipsy, Sooyoung’s eyes droopy, yet she refused to head home just yet. I hadn’t drank much, therefore it wasn’t hitting me and…Yunho had a high tolerance for alcohol; however, I lost count of how many beers he’s had. Probably more than necessary. As I looked up, I was startled to find Yunho standing all of a sudden, eyes deadly as they were set on me. I gulped, for a second feeling like I was in trouble, until I reminded myself that Yunho was just overreacting. I watched his tall frame, which was hugged by ripped greyish-black jeans and a simple black t-shirt hanging loosely around his torso, a silver chain dangling around his neck. Some while ago he started wearing a single silver earring in his left ear, and he had it on tonight as well. A few rings littered around his fingers and I felt my body tense as he walked around the table, coming near me. He stopped behind Wooyoung and grabbed my forearm.
“Come with me.” I couldn’t really say no as I was pulled up from my seat, legs a little numb as I hadn’t stood up in a while now. My eyes searched Yunho’s as he dragged me up to my feet and veered me in front of himself, making me walk as he followed close behind, his left hand gripping my waist tightly. My heart picked up a bit as I saw the confused looks on Wooyoung and Sooyoung’s faces, however, Seonghwa looked like this was normal. I didn’t know what to think as I licked my lips and realized Yunho was walking us towards the restrooms. I knew where this was leading, and it was certainly to an argument. And argument that I did not want to have in a pub’s restroom, but I guess I didn’t have much of a choice as Yunho held me firmly, not allowing me to slip away even if I tried to. There were three doors, one for the ladies restroom, one for the men, and a third one which said, employes only. As Yunho pushed me towards it, my eyebrows furrowed and I looked back at him unimpressed and confused.
“What are you doing?” But he was already pushing the door open and shoving me inside. If it weren’t for his hold on my body, I would’ve stumbled. I heard the door slam shut behind me and a click, making me open my mouth to chastise Yunho for whatever this was, but the wind was knocked out of my lungs as I was whirled around and aggressively pushed up against the door.
“I’ve fucking had enough, Y/N.” His jaw was clenched and his nose flared as Yunho glared me down, keeping me pinned against the door as my eyes widened, “I fucking told you I don’t like it when you’re with Wooyoung, and you go ahead and ignore me the whole fucking night while you’re all sweet with him. Fuck this, Y/N. Seriously.”
My eyebrows furrowed and I scoffed, trying to wriggle myself out of his hold, “You never told me you didn’t like him, nor that you didn’t like me talking to him, Yunho. Talking to him. Do you expect me to just fucking ignore every living soul which is a male because I’m with you?!”
The silence which followed was deafening, the tumult of the pub muffled by the door I was pressed against, and Yunho’s face said everything. He wanted me to ignore the existence of every male that wasn’t him. I scoffed and glared at him, yanking his hands off my body. He had loosened his grip on me, making it easy for me to do so.
“I told you that’s not who I am, Yunho, numerous times.” I snapped, pressing a finger against his firm chest, “I told you that you couldn’t expect me to bend to all of your wishes and let go of my own principles for you. I don’t give a single fuck who you are, Yunho, but if you don’t respect me, I won’t respect you either. You can be Jesus, you can be a mobster, the most dangerous man on Earth, and I still won’t allow you to treat me like I’m your personal toy, your little object you can claim whenever your dick stands up, Yunho.”
And Yunho said nothing as his breathing got heavier, because he knew I was right. Because he knew very well where I stood, because he knew and even said he understood, when I refused to get the tattoo he also had on his chest. I didn’t want to be branded, I didn’t want to belong to anyone or anything. I was my own person and if this is where things were headed, I wouldn’t stick around for longer. No matter how much Yunho started meaning to me. And maybe it was the fire in my eyes and the indignation on my face that prompted Yunho to understand that things would soon come to an end between the two of us if he continued on acting like this, but I’ve had enough and as I went to turn around and open the door, Yunho was suddenly on me, holding my face firmly in his hands as he pressed his lips roughly against mine. It took me a little while to respond and it made Yunho whine as his mouth never once stopped moving against mine, coaxing me into a fiery kiss as my hands fisted Yunho’s shirt at his sides, apparently giving him the cue to press himself up against me. I sighed into his mouth as his tongue pushed past my lips and licked into my mouth with urgency, his kisses desperate as his tall body molded perfectly against mine. He knew every tick of mine, every spot which brought pleasure, and every move which he knew made it hard for me to control myself. As he slanted a leg between my things, my fingers tangled into his black locks and I yanked on his hair harshly, making Yunho gasp. He broke off the kiss, but his lips were quickly on my jaw, leaving open mouthed kisses against it as he pressed his thigh more against my clothed core, making me grind down against it needily, little noises leaving my lips as Yunho sucked at a particular spot under my jaw, skin sensitive and igniting a fire within which spread through my whole body.
“I need you.” Yunho mumbled into my skin as he held my chin with his right hand while his lips travelled lower, sucking harshly on the skin of my neck, making me hiss out in pain. As if to prove his words, he pressed his lower half harsher against my body, and I could feel his bulge through his jeans, making me bite back a moan as my hips grinded against his thigh, making me bite my lower lip at the friction against my lower region. Everything was becoming hotter around me, my skin felt on fire and my mind began emptying out as Yunho’s musky cologne consumed my whole being, as his hands groped at any part of my body he could feel, his warmth mingling with mine, and his sinful lips pressing open mouthed kisses against my skin, and tongue licking at it afterwards. His left hand found my hips and guided them, setting a slow rhythm as I grinded against his thigh, a quiet moan leaving my lips at the pooling heat between my legs. The fabric was harsh against me, but it brought the little relief I needed, yet still not enough.
“You look so sexy, when I saw you I wanted to devour you on the spot.” Yunho whispered in my ear as he flexed his thigh, drawing out another quiet moan from me as I gripped his shoulders, arms going around him and pulling him more into myself.
“You’re so fucking hot.” I gasped out against his cheek as I pressed my nose against his skin, kissing his heated cheek, and grinding just a little bit harder against his thigh, yet it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t satiating enough anymore, and my body was on fire, and my walls were clenching around nothing, “Fuck, Yuyu, why did you start this?”
Yunho groaned and suddenly I felt his hands slipping down my legs, gripping the fabric of the dress harshly as he started hiking it up, “Careful, the dress isn’t mine.”
“I don’t give a shit about the dress, Y/N,” He bit back, voice strained as he bunched up the skirt around my hips and yanked at my panties, his hands frantically going to unbuckle his belt and undo his zipper and button of his jeans. I gulped as I looked down at Yunho’s length, hand reaching out and wrapping around his cock, squeezing it as I stroked him slowly, making Yunho throw his head back as he let out airy breaths, sounding close to choked back moans.
“Fuck, I’m going to fuck you hard, angel.” He suddenly opened his eyes and connected out gazes, gripping my wrist and pulling my hand off his length and he pushed his jeans and boxer further down his thighs. He gripped the back of my thighs and made me jump as he lifted me off my feet, my legs wrapping around his hips for stability as I held on to him with my arms as well, our bodies flush against each other. Yunho looked me in the eyes and I licked my lips before teasingly licking Yunho’s, his eyes darkening instantly. I chuckled, but my amusement was short lived as he aligned himself at my entrance and pressed in with one fluid moment, stretching me out and making my eyebrows furrow as I let out a loud gasp, pressing my forehead against Yunho’s as the stretch slightly burned. It had been more than a week since we’d slept with each other, and his size was something my body just never fully got used to. I gulped, but my throat was still dry as Yunho moved, pulling out and then pushing back in as he pinned me up against the door. His pace was slow and dragged out, taunting me and teasing me as he smirked, lips parted as he was lightly panting. My body was burning and my walls were pulsing around his length, as the friction wasn’t good enough anymore, making me whine as my nails dug through Yunho’s shirt and into his skin.
“Yunho, please.” I whispered against his lips as I moved my own hips, trying to get something more out of this, but Yunho just chuckled.
“You think you deserve it after everything you’ve done with Wooyoung tonight?” He nuzzled his nose against mine, and tears gathered in my eyes out of frustration as my hips desperately tried to quicken the pace.
“Fuck, Yunho,” I gritted my teeth at him, one hand untangling from around his shoulders and going to grip his neck, “We were just talking, for fuck’s sake—”
He suddenly pulled out almost all the way and slammed back in, cutting my words off and breath stilling in my throat as I gasped loudly, moan dying out in my throat, “Just talking, you say. Keep on talking right now, then. I bet you have something smart to say.”
And then he pulled out all the way and slammed back in, ramming my body back against the door each time, my toes curling as my legs tightened around his hips, pulling out wanton moans each time he did it, “Oh, Yunho—fuck—please pick up the pace—”
And he smashed his lips against mine as he started moving quickly, hips slamming back against mine as he quickened his pace, my walls clenching down tightly against Yunho’s dick as he moaned into my mouth loudly, hiking my body up higher with each one of his movements, my fingers tangled in his hair as I gripped on for dear life, trying to bite down my moans. Yunho’s pace was ruthless as he plunged into me faster and faster, his big hands gripping my thighs so harshly it surely would leave fingerprints on my skin. I moved down on his length, trying to match his rhythm as the pleasure was building up in my lower stomach, desperately needing more of Yunho as he groaned and buried his head in my neck, nipping on my skin as I pressed a hand against my mouth to try and muffle my moans, head thrown back as my back arched, Yunho finally hitting my sweet spot, and it made me clench around him as his length twitched, his teeth sinking down into my neck.
“You’re mine, angel—” Yunho gasped as I clenched around him again, my hips moving messily as I was chasing my own release, brain beyond fogged up and desperate to finish, “Mine. Tell me you’re mine.”
I whimpered as Yunho’s long finger found my clit and started toying with it, never quite rubbing it the way he was supposed to, frustrating me to no end as tears gathered in my eyes again, yanking on his hair hard.
“Say it, Y/N, you’re mine.” His voice was deep and dark, and I gasped as he started pulling me down aggressively on his dick, rubbing my clit harshly, my body shaking as my climax was finally building up, Yunho’s quiet groans getting louder as his voice was becoming higher pitch, close to his own release as well.
“I’m yours, fuck, Yunho, I’m yours.” I gasped out and quickly kissed him hard, our teeth clashing against each other as Yunho shoved his tongue down my mouth, muffling my keens as my walls squeezed around his length, finally the bundle in my lower abdomen exploding as my body shook, Yunho the only thing on my mind as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. Yunho’s pace never once slowed down as he guided me through my orgasm, soon coming too as I whined against his lips, bodies flushed together as Yunho’s hips pushed against mine harshly, movements halting as he jerked his hips a few more times, his seed warm inside as we panted into each other’s mouths.
“Open your eyes.” Yunho’s voice was raspy and I licked my dry lips as I pried my eyes open, taken aback by the intense look in his eyes. They were completely dark, not an ounce of warmth in them, the chocolate brown now almost black as he suddenly held my chin tightly, tilting my head back as he glared down at me, “Get it into your fucking head that you’re mine, and no other man is allowed to touch you. You think I didn’t see how many times Wooyoung reached for your wrist? Let it happen one more time, Y/N, and I will fucking kill him. You’re mine.”
And as if to prove a point, he bucked his hips against mine, my walls involuntarily clenching down on his dick, my heart beating erratically. In all these two months of being with him, of spending hours and hours with Yunho, I had never seen him like this. The pure animalistic look in his eyes, the anger on his face, and the threat dripping from his tone…it scared me. It reminded me of who he really was, and it made me question if I wanted this. But could I flee if it came down to it? Would he let me? Or would he threaten to kill me like he just threatened to kill Wooyoung. Would—would Yunho really kill Wooyoung?
“Just let me down.” I managed to whisper, voice shaky as I averted my gaze, lightly pushing at his shoulders.
“Do you understand?” But Yunho didn’t budge, instead jerked my chin to make me look him in the eyes again. I clenched my jaw and gulped down everything I wanted to say.
“I do.” I snapped, eyes glaring back at Yunho as he finally slipped out and placed me on my feet, legs wobbly for a few seconds as I quickly pulled up my panties and pushed the dress down, gulping as I ran my fingers through my hair. Yunho quickly fixed himself, but the look remained on his face. The man standing in front of me wasn’t the man I thought I knew all this time, it was unnerving, “What if I want to end it? Right now. Everything. What if I want you out of my life, forever?”
A sinister smirk appeared on Yunho’s face as he placed his hands out, caging me against the door and himself again, dipping his head down. I gulped, but stood my ground, not backing down. I held his challenging gaze, fought against his attempt at trying to intimidate me, “Then I will brand you. And no other man will touch you ever again, angel. You think you want that?”
“Fuck you, Yunho.” I hissed and slammed my hands against his chest as I pushed him back, away from myself. My mind was a mess as I tried to sort out my thoughts, to calm my nerves and the anger blooming through my whole body, “Are you fucking obsessed with me? Or what’s your fucking deal?!”
I didn’t mean to raise my voice, but I had started shaking, and the way Yunho was treating this whole ordeal wasn’t helping. He looked like we were talking about the groceries we bought, his neutral mask slipping on again, his eyes lighter, but the glint still dangerous in them.
“Wouldn’t you want to know that?” His voice was light, but the chuckle made me shiver as I shook my head, “Let me tell you this. There are no coincidences.”
And without letting me to say anything back, he unlocked the door and pulled me to the side, opening it. He smiled sweetly all of a sudden and draped an arm around my shoulders as he pulled me into his side, pressing a swift kiss against the side of my head. I hissed, but didn’t pull away, eyes searching the hallway as we stepped outside, hoping that nobody heard us.
“And now we go back and you better not hide that beautiful neck of yours, angel, maybe Wooyoung will understand finally.” Yunho chuckled like he said the funniest thing on Earth and grinned at me as I looked up at him, dumbly realizing that he’d been biting and sucking at my neck to leave marks for everyone to see. I felt mortified at the thought of everyone from the table seeing, but what I wasn’t ready for was the way Wooyoung was sitting between Mingi and Jongho now, not once meeting my eyes when we returned with Yunho, as I took my previous seat with Yunho on my right. And he went back to talking and acting like nothing happened as Mingi, him, and Jongho continued drinking, Wooyoung sometimes joining in, but not as lively as before. Mingi informed me that Seonghwa and Sooyoung had left while we were busy, Sooyoung having fallen asleep on Seonghwa’s shoulder. It felt like the night I had hoped to enjoy to the fullest was coming to a disastrous end, and I couldn’t help but cringe when I felt Yunho’s big hand wrapping around my thigh and squeezing it, leaving his hand there until we had to leave. Without many words exchanged between Yunho and I on the way back to his apartment, I knew I would be held hostage at his place for a few days, not once letting me out of his sight.
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            And even with three weeks passing since that incident in the pub, things were still tense between Yunho and I. I was wary of him, rightfully so. I stopped hanging out with him for a longer period of time or too often, letting life carry on as I realized despite always working on my assignments with Yunho, I was hella behind on them. Yunho might have helped me study more, but I was behind on important sketches I had to hand in in one week maximum, and my mind was a mess at the moment as I scrambled around in the library, very possibly late to my shift at the convenience store. Mingi was kind enough to come to the library and help me out, draw a few sketches himself so that I wouldn’t have much leftover for the weekend as I had a shift each day at the store. Despite Yunho and I not talking as often as before, Mingi remained close to me and never once pressured me into talking about what was going on. He never even once mentioned Yunho, usually me being the one to bring him up, even if briefly. Mingi seemed dismissive of the subject and had said that he genuinely grew to like me and considered himself my friend, therefore he was staying neutral as Yunho kept yapping off his ears about me. I felt grateful to Mingi, happy that he wasn’t pushing anything between Yunho and I like Sooyoung was. I couldn’t tell her the full extent of our fight, and thus, she didn’t really get it why I was making such a big deal out of it. And of course, because of this, she almost daily told me how stupid I was, and how much I was fucking up everything when Yunho was literally perfect, and perfect for me as well…but if only she knew the real side of Yunho, the one he never showed at university, she wouldn’t think so highly of him.
In the sparse time that we did meet up, it usually resulted in us simply fucking and Yunho trying to make me understand as to why he kept pressing the hand at matter, and why he was so possessive. I just couldn’t find it in me to hear him out anymore, and that often times lead to us fighting again, only to have furious make-up sex. Things weren’t going well; I couldn’t find the essence of whatever was going on between the two of us anymore. I hated the fact that I got attached to him, and I hated the fact that I continuously gave in to him when I knew this wasn’t good for me anymore. And Yunho just always knew what to say to pull me back in, but what was the worst, was that I could see the sincerity on his face and the pain in his voice whenever he told me that he missed me, and that he wanted things to go back to how they were just weeks ago. And to be honest, I wanted the same thing. I wanted to forget about this whole fucked up issue at hand and just live obliviously and happily with Yunho, but I couldn’t, not when Wooyoung couldn’t even meet my eyes and barely even talked to me anymore when we crossed paths at university. I have no idea what has happened, but it wasn’t hard to guess that Mingi and Jongho must’ve talked to him while Yunho and I were in the restroom at the pub. And quite alarmingly, Wooyoung had a busted lip the following day, raising my suspicions that Yunho took this way too far. But no matter how many times I pressed him about it, he just stayed quiet, he avoided looking at me, and even acted like he couldn’t hear me. It was frustrating, so after a while, I let it go. My mind was a mess and I didn’t know how to figure things out anymore. I needed space and time away from Yunho, but he swore that if I dared disappearing or going no-contact on him, he would turn the world upside down until he found me. The look in his eyes when he said that was more than scary, and I left with my body shaking that night and calling Sooyoung to ask whether I could sleep over at her place or not.
There were times when Yunho scared me, but most of all, the scariest was the way my trust in him had started fading away, not letting me rest for one second. If I couldn’t trust him anymore, what was I doing? Why was I pressuring myself? Maybe because I did believe that Yunho would do anything to get back to me, and the fact that Sooyoung was now dating one of his close friend’s and Mingi also became a good friend of mine felt like a web, like he was a spider and I was cornered from every part, tangled up in his well-calculated web. But there was also a part of me which wished to solve all of this, to just talk it out and put it past us, because my feelings were growing for Yunho the longer we were separated. I didn’t exactly understand why, but whenever we did meet, I felt like I was whole again. Like I was at peace with myself, like I was complete. I have never ever felt like this with anyone before, and it was scary. I didn’t want him to have such power over me, but I have long stopped being able to control such feelings. I just knew that despite him scaring me sometimes, he was just as attached to me as I was to him, and he had proven numerous times that he’d bring even the stars down for me if that’s what I asked for.
I had the evening shift at the convenience store today, and by the time I could finally close it up, the streetlamps had been long turned on, the moon high up in the sky as it was clear of clouds, a few starts visible here and there. The late evening air was nothing but fresh, not chilling for once, the breeze quite invigorating as I had started getting sleepy a while ago. I’ve had a long day at university, and Yunho had been also begging me to sleep over at his apartment as we hadn’t seen each other in three days. I didn’t feel quite ready to spend the night there yet, and therefore I kindly refused him and told him I still had to study, and I didn’t want to bother him as I knew he had to go to the hospital early in the morning for his residency. There was a strange feeling of déjà vu as I turned down the side of the building, nearing the narrow passageway between the two buildings to cut short my journey towards home, the last bus having left, I had no choice but to walk. For some reason I felt uneasy as I gripped my backpack’s straps tightly in my hands and fastened my walk, my heart picking up. I couldn’t see danger, but if my body was reacting like this, I knew it had a reason, and I had to get away from here as fast as possible. But not even ten steps away from the end of the passageway, I was harshly yanked back by my backpack, gasping loudly as I was pushed into the side of the building. For a second I wished it was Yunho as my heart almost exploded by how fast it was beating, and the flashbacks I had to the night when Yunho had to save me from those three creeps freaked me out even more. What if it were them? Coming back to taunt me now that Yunho wasn’t here? But as I tried to run, I was slammed back into the brick wall and held by the collar of my jacket, immobilized against the wall as a tall form loomed over me. I felt joy for a second, hoping it was Yunho, but the man was taller and his scent was unfamiliar. He was dressed fully in black and had his face covered by a black facemask, a black beanie concealing his hair as well. As I stared into his eyes dumbfounded, I came to realize with horror, that this was the same man who had once purchased something from the convenience store, inquiring whether I worked there often.
“What—what do you want?” I managed to stammer out, making the man’s sharp eyes narrow.
“Where’s Jeong Yunho?” How did he know Yunho? Why was he looking for him? As the man’s grip tightened around my collar, I quickly shook my head, body shaking from fear of what would happen to me now. Could this possibly be someone Yunho had problems with? I did hear him once talking on the phone, threatening to kill someone if they didn’t stop trailing him. And then I remembered that Chan guy, and it just made me shake even worse. I could see the satisfaction in the man’s eyes as my eyebrows furrowed.
“I don’t know.” I lied, but it also wasn’t a lie. I really didn’t know where he was right now, maybe he was at home. The man just tsked and shook me harshly, making me whimper as he leaned closer. I tried to keep my eyes clear of tears, but even my head was shaking from fear. He was too tall and too strong for me to even try to overpower him.
“Don’t lie to me, bitch!” The man snapped and I jumped as he was suddenly shouting while being all up in my face, “I know you’re Yunho’s whore, that motherfucker! Tell me where he is!”
“I swear I don’t know!” I screamed, eyes filled with tears finally, gripping the mans gloved wrists as he slammed me into the brick wall again, making me whimper, “Please, I really don’t know. Please—”
“Shut up, whore.” The man hissed, eyes narrowing as if he remembered something, “Do you have a tattoo?”
My eyebrows furrowed as a few tears ran down my cheeks and I gulped, about to shake my head no, but I suddenly remembered that Chan guy asking me the same thing. And then my mind was a mess as I racked through memories, trying to remember what Yunho had once said about being branded by a gang.
“Speak up, bitch!” The man screamed again and I quickly nodded, gulping as I tried to look as convincing as I could.
“Yes, yes, I have!” I tried to breathe through my nose, but it was hard as my throat was closing in on me, “An A—I—I have it. Ateez, isn’t it? You know them?”
“Fuck.” The man hissed, and I could see the hatred and venom in his eyes as he yanked me into himself. Yunho had once said that if you were branded by one of the gang members as their partner, nobody else from a rival gang could touch you, unless they wanted to start a war against that gang and every other one the respective gang was in good connections with, “You stupid whore, were you branded by Jeong Yunho?”
“Yes.” I nodded, head shaking as I started sweating, praying to God this man wouldn’t ask me to show him my tattoo. If I had to—I could only fear what would happen to me as I had lied through my teeth.
“Fuck!” The man exclaimed again and suddenly let go of me, but not before raising his fisted hand and making me scream as it came towards my face. I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself for the upcoming pain, but it never came. I was on the verge of sobbing as I opened my eyes, and I was met with the view of the man cackling and looking satisfied as my legs gave out and I slid down onto the dirty ground lifelessly, watching as he looked at his hand proudly.
“Tell Jeong Yunho, sweetheart, that what I did today was a cordial warning.” He crouched down and raised my head by my chin, almost cooing at me as I was now crying, “And that next time he’d find you dead in a ditch if he doesn’t hand over all the money he’d made on selling our stuff, sweetheart, alright?”
I sniffed as I nodded, averting my eyes as the man suddenly leaned closer, masked face pressing against my ear as his voice dropped a few octaves, “I know you weren’t branded, sweetheart, Yunho is quite bad at keeping his mouth shut about you. Isn’t that dumb? Figures he’d be smarter, sweetheart, especially considering how secretive he is about everything else. Lovely chit chat we had, enjoy the rest of your evening now!”
My whole body shook with sobs as the man walked away with a skip in his steps, laughing at my agony as I pulled my knees up into my chest, burying my head into my legs as I sobbed harder, realizing that I could’ve died right here at the hands of this man. I couldn’t think straight as I shakily took my phone out of my pocket and blindly dialed the number I knew by heart now, trying to calm my sobs, but it wasn’t working. It only rung two times before he picked up.
“Angel—”
“Yuyu—” I gasped out, sobbing harder at the hear of his voice, “Please, please, come get me, Yuyu—”
“Y/N?!” I have never heard this much emotion in Yunho’s voice before as he sounded panicked, “Where are you? What happened?!”
“The passageway on the way home.” I managed to say in one breath before hanging up and continuing to cry curled up on myself and praying that Yunho would make it here as fast as he could. It wasn’t very far from his apartment, but he’d make fifteen minutes on feet, and I felt like fifteen more minutes spent alone would kill me. I couldn’t even think about that as another wave of sobs hit my body, lungs aching as I was heaving for air.
My loud wails died down at some point as I sat numbly on the cold and dirty ground, staring off into space as I clung to my knees, hugging myself to give as much self-comfort as I could. My body didn’t stop shivering and I suddenly heard the slam of a door and feet hitting the pavement quickly, making my body tense as I realized someone was approaching me again, and quite quickly. I flinched when I felt big, warm, hands around my biceps and I shook my head, slightly fighting against the person trying to hold me, until I heard their voice, “Y/N, it’s me. Yunho, Yuyu. What happened, oh my god, are you alright?”
And I looked ahead, eyes falling on the familiar soft face of Yunho’s, chocolate brown eyes filled to the brim with worry, and lips downturned as he looked like he was fighting his own tears. It made my own eyes fill up with tears again as I suddenly sprung forward, clinging to Yunho as he fell back without complaining, and allowed me to crawl into his lap as I held tightly onto him, burying my head in his pink hoodie, his cologne familiar and bringing the comfort I much needed. I started crying again, a lot quieter this time, as my body shook and Yunho lightly swayed us, holding me tightly against himself as he patted the back of my head with one hand. His other palm was pressed flatly against my back, making me wonder when had my backpack slipped off.
“I’m here now, it’s okay.” Yunho whispered into my ear as he pressed a chaste kiss against my temple, “You’re safe with me, angel, you’re safe. It’s alright, don’t be scared anymore.”
I sniffed as my tears somehow stopped falling, eyes dry and burning as I buried my nose into Yunho’s neck, tightening my arms around his neck as his body molded against mine, allowing me to disappear into him. Yunho kept pressing kisses against my temple, muttering reassuring words as he not once stopped petting my head. It felt like my mind and body finally calmed down, the aggressive shaking turned into a tremor and I tried to speak, but my throat was hoarse. I licked my lips and sniffed loudly, clearing my throat as I clutched at Yunho’s nape, closing my eyes as I pressed them against the warm skin of his smooth neck.
“Yunho, they—” My throat closed in one me and I had to pause as my lips trembled again, “He said he’d kill me next time.”
My voice was barely above a whisper and my body tensed as it felt Yunho tensing against me, his grip suddenly tightening against me. For once it didn’t feel restrictive, it felt safe, “He said, if—if you don’t hand over the money you made selling their stuff, I’ll—they’ll kill me.”
Yunho’s loud cursing took me off guard and the second he felt me tensing, he quickly quieted down and pressed again kisses against my neck, switching to mutter reassuring things once again, “They won’t ever again touch you, Y/N, I swear on what’s dearest to me. I won’t let them. Never. Ever.”
“Yunho, I—” I sniffed and pried myself slowly back so that I could look in his eyes, “I lied to them about the tattoo.”
I pressed a hand against his chest, where his own branded A tattoo was, and Yunho bit his lower lip, “But they knew I didn’t have it, Yunho.”
His eyebrows furrowed even more as his face was full of confusion, hand coming to cup my cheek as his other hand slipped to my waist, “How did they know…”
“They said you talk a lot about me.” My voice was quiet as Yunho and I looked into each other’s eyes, making him gulp as he looked shameful.
“Fuck, this is all my fault.” He let out a breath and my heart clenched seeing him like this, “Fuck, I’m so fucking stupid. There’s a mole in our gang.”
I just looked at Yunho as his soft features switched into one of pure fury, warm eyes on fire as he looked down to the side. My chest felt heavy as I was finally able to release a long sigh, chewing on my lower lip. If I was involved with Yunho, would I ever be safe? Was there really a guaranteed way to protect myself if he wasn’t around? Was there a way to prevent another situation like this one from happening?
“If I—if I get the tattoo,” My voice was quiet as Yunho slowly looked back at me, a newfound glint appearing in his eyes, “will they never again touch me? Will I be safe?”
“You’re safest with me.” The answer was instant, but then he nodded, “But yes, the tattoo is the closest thing you can get to keeping yourself as safe as if you were with me, angel.”
I gulped, feeling crestfallen at what I was about to ask, “Do you think I could get it tonight?”
I had no idea what the time was, but it certainly would be nearing midnight soon. Yunho’s face was rendered with surprise, until very slowly, a smirk appeared on his lips, cupping my cheeks as he pulled our faces inches away from each other, “Yeah, I know a place.”
I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes as I nodded, “Okay, let’s go there.”
“Fuck,” A rasped breath left Yunho’s lips, “I love you. Y/N, I’m fucking in love with you.”
And before my eyes could fly open in shock, Yunho’s lips were pressing against mine softly, but urgently, making my whole-body light up with fire. I kissed him back with a newfound passion as my eyebrows furrowed and my lips moved against his firmly, trying to convey everything I felt into the kiss. I never thought I’d hear those words leave Yunho’s lips, certainly not directed at me, and it shook my whole being. The kiss didn’t last for long, but when Yunho pulled back, he pressed three more kisses against my lips, peppering my face with even more, making me melt into him.
“God, I’m so in love with you it’s painful, Y/N.” He whispered against my skin and my heart clenched at his confession, making me bite my lower lip as I opened my eyes. Yunho was already watching me and it surprised me seeing adoration written all over his face, in his eyes, on his lips as he pressed a small kiss against my nose, “Let’s go, Wooyoung will probably be elated to talk to you again.”
“Wooyoung?” How was he suddenly important?
“Yeah, he does all the branding on our gang members—” I didn’t like the amused look on Yunho’s face as he slowly peeled me off himself as I came to stand shakily, “Did you think I was the only member of Ateez?”
“No, I—” I shrugged, head thumping by now, “I don’t know, I never thought about it.”
“Yeah, angel,” Yunho chuckled as he took my hand and lead me towards his black Maserati, “how do you think I met Jongho and Seonghwa?”
I gulped, something coiling in my gut. What had I gotten myself into? “And Mingi?”
“We’re best friends since primary school, but yeah, he’s also part of Ateez.” And suddenly the picture-perfect image I had of Mingi in my head came crashing down too, just like the unease as I thought about Wooyoung and his bubbly personality, wondering just how many more people around me were involved with gang activity.
Yunho opened the door for me and helped me inside as my body still had slight tremors, the shock not having worn off entirely, and suddenly he raised my hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss against my knuckles, “I love you.”
And I would say it back at my own pace, and when I truly felt that I loved him. There were too many things he was still hiding from me. Issues we still had to solve. Love, was something I was scared to admit to feeling just yet towards Jeong Yunho. He was everlasting and encompassing, ravishing your whole being, keeping you locked in. And if he really loved me, I knew he would wait for me, I knew he would want me to be sure of it when saying it back. I didn’t know what the future had in store, but if Yunho swore to keep me safe, I blindly put my trust in him once again, praying to stay oblivious to the dark world he was meddling in. Perhaps a few more flower bouquets, and I might just say it back.
But deep down, I already knew I was in love with the man sitting next to me in the car, with Jeong Yunho.
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⟨Masterlist⟩
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tulipsforyourlips · 26 days
Text
✧˖°. i found you ✧˖°. (1)
|| the sandman x dead boy detectives ||
SUMMARY: You run the dead boys detective agency along with your two best friends. And somehow two ghosts and a living girl make it work. Until you dream one night, of dream himself.
PAIRING: dream of the endless x fem!reader
WC: 800
WARNINGS: mentions of blood
PART 1 ✧˖°.
"Promise me.”
"Hope I,-"
"Promise Dream."
"I promise." 
The Dream Lord stiffened in his seat as he banished away his thoughts to the darkest chambers of his mind, afraid they would return otherwise. But they still did, every time. The colours swirling in the glass pane that framed his throne cast vibrant hues of light on his poised face, accentuating his features that were sharp enough to cut skin. Promise Dream, the words came back as a whisper, evoking a chill on his neck that travelled through his spine. He shut his eyes willing his mind to quiet, trying to-
"My lord." Lucienne's welcoming voice pulled him to the present. 
"You have a visitor," she announced. 
Morpheus raised an eyebrow imperceptibly at his failure to come up with someone who might visit his realm, especially when he was not expecting anyone. 
"Little brother,”
The voice was accompanied by a woman with black curls and a skin that glowed before the light from the glass pane even touched her. 
"Death," Morpheus stated, bewilderment tucked somewhere in his tone. After all, he hadn't expected to meet her again so soon. 
"How are you?" She asked.
"I am truly well sister, what brings you here?"
Death knew how much truth his ‘truly well’ held but let it pass for the moment. "Lucienne would you please excuse us for a minute?" 
"Ofcourse my lady.” She dipped her head and pursued the command, closing the colossal doors behind her. 
"Something...something has happened.” Death wasted no time in speaking.  
This time Dream did not try to hide the raise in his eyebrow. "Whatever do you mean?" His calm voice floated through the room. 
"Dream,”
Before she could follow the sentence, turmoil had already begun growing within him, Death was using his name only to soften the blow. 
"It's here."
“Bloody hell, that was one hell of a case!” Charles exclaimed as he shut the door behind you three. 
“Charles you know Edwin suffers from serious ptsd please stop using hell so much around him. It’s not like the British lack in creative curses,” you reprimanded him as you shrugged your jacket off, draping it over the couch. 
“Haha you’re hilarious,” Edwin stated monotonically while Charles started chanting ‘hell’ in the background just to spite the both of you. 
“Thanks hon,” you winked. “And Charles shut that hole up or if the ghost didn’t get you I surely will.”
“Hell hell hell hell hell- ow what was that for?” 
You grinned in delight as your boot contacted with his abdomen, “for being annoying.” 
Another “ow” escaped Charles as he sent glaring looks at you. “And that?” 
“For being you,” you beamed, devoid of both your boots now.
Your smile was quickly wiped off your face as Charles began his incantation right in your face. 
“Get away from me!” You groaned flailing your hands to push his bloodied face away. 
“Okay now I don’t know about you both but I for one am seriously tired after the events that have transpired during the day. So if you will excuse me and please take whatever this is,” Edwin gestured at the both of you with a foul expression, “somewhere else because I need to rest.” 
“Hell hell hell,” Charles resumed being annoying as if nothing had happened. 
“I swear if even a droplet of that ghost’s blood drops on my t-shirt I will fucking kill you. Again.” 
“Hell hell- you love me too much for that-hell hell-”
“Yeah? Go on and find out- NO!” You let out a scream that would have for sure woken up your neighbours if you had any, being a secretive ghost agency and what not. 
“You bitch! That was my favourite t-shirt!” You looked down at the once white fabric now bearing an impression of Charles' right profile in blood.
“I know.” He had the audacity to smirk at that. 
You went for his throat, fully determined to give truth to your previous threat when Edwin pulled you from him. 
"Enough! Both of you!” 
Charles and you stared at each other, your ears still hot with fury.
“Charles go wash up that face please! And Hazel you need sleep, unlike us, so go retire to your bedroom.” 
“Like you can just order us around,” you rolled your eyes. 
But Edwin’s one look in your way got you scrambling for your jacket. 
“Yes boss.” Charles made his way to the bathroom. 
“Goodnight Edwin, fuck you Charles.” And you departed with your wishes.
You sighed as you switched on the lights in your room, and plopped down on the single bed. Not even mustering up the courage to change into your night clothes, you let sleep engulf you and entered the world of dreaming. 
A/N: hello peeps this story is set post the events of the sandman show and i haven’t read the comics so you will have to bear with the inconsistencies and the like. if i mess up real bad pls do let me know<3
SERIES MASTERLIST ✧˖°.
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cabotwife · 4 months
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Hello :) Could you write a Johanna x fem!reader where the reader is Finnick’s younger sister and Winner of the 72nd games. Her and Johanna first meet at her games as her mentor introduces them. The two instantly click. They get closer every year as the two mentor and attend Capitol parties or something. They form a strong friendship but keep the growing feelings lowkey just in fear of something bad happening.
At the quarter quell the reader ends up volunteering for Annie. In the capitol, reader opens up to Johanna about her fears about the get Katniss out plan and worries about losing her and Finnick. (I’m a slut for vulnerable emotional moments lol) Maybe something happens during the games that exposes the two a little bit but you don’t have to write about the games if you don’t want to.
(PS You’re fucking amazing with beautiful writing and am giving me all the Johanna content I have been craving)
Thanks a lot 🖤🖤🖤
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Too Well
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Johanna Mason x Fem!Odair!Reader
warnings: poorly written? not proofread
word count: 1207
a/n: first time writing again in forever, sorry it's short
--
"Johanna?" you call out, your voice echoing down the dimly lit hallway as you reach the top of the stairs. you had been on your way to your friend’s quarters when you saw her silhouette standing in the hallway.
she’s standing in front of a closed elevator. and to your surprise, she was completely naked, not a thread of clothing on her.
blinking rapidly in the dim light, you squint your eyes as you look at her, attempting to make sense of the situation. "why-" you start, your question hanging in the air.
"don’t ask,” the taller girl mumbles, her voice sounding tired and defeated as she walks towards her door, motioning for you to follow her.
and so, you do. you follow her, like a loyal puppy trailing behind its owner, you are tugged along by an invisible leash.
once inside her room, you find yourself awkwardly seated on her bed as she goes about dressing herself, her movements mechanical and without thought.
“why’re you here?” she asks, her voice muffled as she tugs a loose shirt over her head.
exhaling dramatically, you let out a loud, exaggerated sigh as you let yourself fall backwards onto her bed, sinking into the soft mattress. “was talking with Finnick..” you mumble, turning your head to the side to look at her. you can see her arch her eyebrow up in question, a silent inquiry waiting to be answered, “i’m having.. thoughts.. ‘bout the plan.” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.
Johanna furrows her eyebrows, a look of concern crossing her features. she makes her way over to the bed and sits down next to you. “what do you mean?”
“i’m scared, Johanna.” you admit, your voice trembling as you look up at her, “why- why do we have to sacrifice ourselves for her?”
“it’s for the rebellion.” the brunette answers matter-of-factly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
and it is. at least it’s supposed to be.
“i know.. i know.. i just, i don’t wanna lose you, or Finn.”
a small frown forms on Johanna’s face, her hardened exterior softening slightly. “oh, y/n.” she whispers, shuffling closer to where you’re laying.
you pout and lay your head in her lap, “i know, i’m being a baby. it’s for the rebellion and it’s important. i’m just scared..” you look up at her, your eyes pleading for understanding.
Johanna sighs, her fingers gently running through your hair, “you’re not being a baby, i’m afraid too.” she admits.
“really?” you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “what’re you afraid of?”
the brunette sputters for a moment, caught off guard by your question. “well, losing you, i guess.. and Finnick,” she mutters, “and what if we fail? y’know?” her fingers still toying with your hair.
You nod in understanding, leaning into her touch, seeking comfort from her presence.
"can i stay here tonight?" you whisper, the words barely escaping your lips as your eyes flutter shut in a state of blissful contentment. "i don't wanna go back to my own quarters, i can't bear the thought of it. it would make this all feel too…real."
Johanna hums in understanding, "of course, you're always welcome here," she murmurs, her voice soft and comforting as she continues to gaze down at you. a tender smile graces her lips, and she can't help but think that you look like a sleepy kitten, all curled up and content in her lap.
a tranquil, comfortable silence descends upon the room. the soothing strokes of her fingers through your locks have you practically purring in her lap, your body relaxing even further into her.
"hey Johanna?" you whisper, your voice breaking the quiet as you peel open your eyes, looking up at her with a questioning gaze.
"yeah?" she responds, her heartbeat quickening at the sudden eye contact.
"if it comes to it… don't sacrifice yourself for her," you mumble, shifting slightly in Johanna's lap to make yourself more comfortable. "i need you."
a soft blush dusts Johanna's cheeks at your words, and she nods in understanding, her heart pounding in her chest.
"promise me, ‘anna."
"y/n… it's our mission," she sighs, tilting her head slightly to the side as she contemplates your words.
"i don't care. promise me, Johanna."
a tense silence hangs between the two of you for a moment, the air thick with anticipation.
"i promise," she finally relents, the words slipping past her lips in a quiet whisper.
--
"Johanna?!" you yell as you see her darting off into the distance, following closely behind Katniss. your heart is pounding loudly in your chest, and without a second thought, you move to chase after the two of them. however, before you can take more than a few steps, your brother grabs you firmly by your arms, "Finnick! let me go!!" you plead, desperation seeping into your voice.
only moments before, your group had been huddled together, discussing your plans on the cornucopia. the tension was palpable, everyone on edge knowing that danger lurked around every corner. and then you were attacked by the careers.
poor Wiress had fallen victim to Gloss, Katniss had avenged her with an arrow to Gloss' chest. Johanna killed Cashmere when she had charged at Katniss.
and now, chaos ensued. Katniss was hot on the heels of Enobaria and Brutus, and Johanna was chasing after Katniss.
you struggle in Finnick’s grip, your hands pushing at his wrists, "let me go!" your voice is almost drowned out by the sounds of the jungle.
suddenly, an eerie silence descends upon the jungle, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Finnick quickly covers your mouth, his head turning, trying to discern any sounds that might indicate danger.
the ground beneath you starts to groan and creak, "Fuck..." Finnick mutters under his breath, his eyes darting around, looking for his trident.
in a flurry of movements, he releases you, "come here, fuck, come here!" he urges, pulling both you and Peeta towards him. the island starts to spin, gaining momentum with each passing second.
with a grunt, Finnick buries his trident into the ground, his knuckles turning white as he holds onto it. without hesitation, you and the short blonde also grab onto the sturdy trident.
once the island comes to a jarring halt, you are immediately on your feet, your eyes scanning the area for any sign of Johanna.
you find her helping Katniss out of the water. your eyebrows furrow in anger as you storm up to her, giving her a hard shove backwards by her shoulders.
"what- y/n?" Johanna's voice is filled with surprise, her eyes wide with confusion.
"you promised." you say through gritted teeth, jabbing your accusing finger into her sternum.
"y/n-"
"you promised!" your voice rings out louder this time, as you give her another shove backwards.
"i didn’t break it? i’m still here-'' Johanna's voice trails off, her brows furrowing in confusion.
without another word, you push past her, your shoulder hitting hers as you make your way towards the beach.
Johanna watches you as you walk away, her gaze then turning to Finnick, who simply shrugs, before following in your footsteps.
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