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mahalshairyballs · 2 years

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Some Jake stuff coming from my interpretation of him.

I might have mentioned these things before but I don't think I made any posts meta about them.

It will be separated into two main points : Emotions and Physical Touch

Emotiooons

Jake has *a lot* of emotions. But he has learned to hide them. Not by being stoic, he was far from it, but by looking to the outside world like he was well balanced he was also far from that.

To people interacting with him he was social, nice, even polite, warm, flirty, charming, he joked around, smiled more than Marc did (Marc your dark humor needs to come back!). He was just a joy to be around. No need to wonder what Frenchie saw in him.

With Layla it was a bit different since she lived with them. She saw him a bit more grumpy, snappy and contrarian (mostly when Jake fronted right after talking to Marc...). But she still had no idea how he really felt and what Steven and Marc had to deal with.

Inside Jake was boiling with emotions, sometimes totally opposite to what he was showing. He had been training himself a lot to do that, to 'pretend', to show whatever feelings he wanted to show, he'd perfected it.

Jake had to do something like that since almost day one, at least since Marc left their home. Because of what Jake's been through, every time he took control of the body - whether consciously or not, whether it was warranted or not - he was in a heightened state of alert. In a constant fight or flight mode - so in other words panic.

It took him a lot of time and a lot of work, but he managed to not always feel like that every time he fronted - especially when there were no imminent threats he had to deal with. This resulted in him having great control on his stress level, and how he showed his emotions (but didn't change how he really felt). Just existing didn't make him feel high anxiety anymore, but there were some things that could bring that anxiety back (see the 2nd main subject of this post below).

Which in turn made him the best at manipulating being social out of the three. It also made him an excellent liar. So much so that Matt (Daredevil) had the hardest time reading him. His heartbeat barely even changed - changed so minutely - when he lied that even Matt had a hard time noticing it (while Steven's heartbeat accelerated even when he was telling the truth ahah anxiety...)

Even when he killed, he didn't show any intense emotions. I used the word 'going bersek' as a shorthand one time before, but that's not accurate at all. Jake doesn't do that. He might feel anger or hate or whatever else, but he'll just show ruthless, surgical efficiency while doing the kill. And he could talk about the weather with you just after having killed someone.

In their innerspace it's waaay more difficult for Jake to hide or show something else to what he's really feeling. Their innerspace is like where their 'soul' coexist, so they're all pretty much open books there.

So when Steven once said to someone that Jake was 'very emotional, petty, immature, easy to anger, a lot to deal with'

Layla & Jean-Paul : He is ???

This was not their experience with him at all.

Jake and Marc were both quick to anger in their innerspace and quick to blame the other for anything. When they interacted tension could rise pretty damn fast. So Marc and Jake fought a lot in their innerspace. Jake and Steven did too initially, but it calmed down pretty quickly and they mostly got along well. So Steven found himself often in the middle of their fight like this :

(Without the blood and without Khonshu lmao)

Jake didn't mind doing small talk, he actually did it a lot. Surface level, flirty conversations were almost his specialty by now. Both because he couldn't bond with someone long enough to do more and because it helped him get what he wanted out of people. He flirted without intent other than manipulating people all the time. So here you could see how he could evolve into being the intel collector for the system, just like he is in the comics.

He didn't know how to deepen relationships however, he never had the chance to, and he didn't really want to by now. He didn't want to share anything personal or show his real emotions. He was inexperienced with that and didn't know what to expect. He didn't even know if he could love (he definitely can, but his feeling of love is in itself quite different, it's almost painful).

If he did open up though, he'd talk about most of the fucked up things he lived through in a very casual way. He had weird priorities and views of the world. He could be upset by small things but then brush off very awful things. I think there was a meme like that once. The meme enumerated three things, the first two weren't that bad while the third one was significantly worse than the first two but said as if it were equally bad (or was it a trope? ). That's Jake. He would be the kind to do that.

The only emotions you'd see him show outwardly when he felt them would be emotions that he was unfamiliar with. There's not a lot of those but there's a few, like love (or jealousy...). They would show in his behavior and body language because he wouldn't be able to deal with them. Being new to him, he hadn't practiced dealing with them and/or dissimulating them under another emotion. So maybe he'd look like he was feeling that emotion, but he'd mostly look lost or anxious...and then he'd leave control of the body to Marc or Steven.

Physical touch

Jake didn't like being touched, it made him very uneasy and brought his panic anxiety back.

However short or innocent the contact was, he wouldn't like it.

Especially if the touch was supposed to be good and innocent. It also didn't matter if it was under or above clothes, it felt the same to him.

Because :

1) he wasn't familiar with those feelings, both the physical sensations and what they did to his emotions. He didn't know what to do about it, how to react to it. So it made him uneasy and dislike the interaction.

2) he was used to all touches being painfull (except during sex*). Whether it was in his childhood, or later fronting to defend the body, while Marc was a boxer or in the army, or a mercenary, or Moon Knight. That's all Jake knew. So when the touches weren't painfull, his brain still thought it was going to be, any time now. So it prepared him by giving him this very intense anxiety, like a very loud alarm bell in his head.

As a cab/limo driver, he didn't have to be touched by anybody, and Khonshu couldn't touch him. So right then he was living his best life.

Jake wasn't making a big deal out of it either, like for everything else. If an SO tried to hold his hand, give him a hug or cuddle he'd find an excuse to get away from that physical contact as soon as possible. He usually pretended that he had to go somewhere to then put more distance between them, or subtly brushed away the hand on him. If the person did it again or insisted however, they'd get that direct rebuff.

It could be hard for some people who needed physical affection to be Jake's partner. For Duchamp, they were in a strange position. Jake was flirty, funny, teasing him, he was there for him and generous and helpful, but he never ever tried to touch him in their day-to-day life together. Not even a small casual touch on the shoulder, or a hug or anything. The only time Frenchie felt like he could touch him was when they had sex.

Jake never wanted to just make out, or cuddle while watching a movie. He did, however, do one thing. He gave little kisses. Dry closed mouth kisses of a few seconds, that he could do. And he did that often enough to show affection.

* The one major exception to that was during sex. Mostly because those touches were context specific and Jake usually concentrated on his dick and pleasuring his partners. So he managed to ignore or to deal better with these touches. The touches usually didn't last that long and it was mostly people gripping him or things like that so it was fine.

It made him a really good lover though. He had no problem touching other people, with his hands, with his mouth, with his cock, and he liked doing it. So he was very attentive to other people's body. He didn't really do foreplay either, except when he could treat his partners like that (ask Layla...).

If you wanted to treat him, or 'worship his body', or anything like that, he'd politely decline the offer, usually changing the focus on the partner.

Let me make it clear though that Jake only appears to be promiscuous out of necessity but he wasn't really. Sex was the best way he found to have physical intimacy with someone. He didn't need to be particularly close to the person, could do it quickly - since he couldn't front for long - and could get his physical intimacy needs met there.

He also didn't do French kissing, and he was fine with pillow talks...as long as there was a reasonable distance between him and the partner on the bed.

With Layla, he initially didn't even take the chance. He kept sleeping in the spare bedroom, even after she knew who he was and got to know him.

Jake knew he could learn to get used to the nice touches, like he got used to live without being in panic mode. He didn't see the benefit in doing that however. Controlling his panic mode had been a necessity, because he felt like that just by being. The panic he felt when someone touched him however could be stopped by simply...stopping that contact. It was easier than enduring countless of high-anxiety inducing interactions just so his body could be used to them. And since he wasn't familiar with what 'nice' touches actually felt like, he didn't miss them.

He didn't think he needed those for a fulfilling relationship. He saw though, that Frenchie really missed doing that kind of thing with his partner...

Steven doesn't mind touches all that much for someone on the spectrum. He actually really liked touches...but only with people he was really close to. He had two modes 'ew no touchy' and 'let me be all over you all the time'.

Marc has no issues with touches. It's surprisingly one of the few things he has no issues about. He liked touches well enough, he could be tender and physically affectionate when he wanted to be - and he usually did.

This is also why Matt and Jake would make a good fit. Matt is also super-sensitive to touches (for a different reason : his super-senses) so he'd understand Jake's boundaries there.

Bonus: relationship with Khonshu

Out of the three of them, it's definitely Jake who has a better relationship with Khonshu and who doesn't need to be as manipulated as Marc was.

There were many ways in which Jake's relationship with Khonshu could be important to him.

Khonshu acknowledged him without telling the others. Khonshu might've been the first other person to actually call him Jake. It definitely had an effect on Jake. Gave him respect for the ol' bird at least.

Khonshu didn't probe him about things Jake didn't feel like talking about. Khonshu didn't care about the Marc system's traumas, he already knew everything that was in their head anyway, so he never brought it up with Jake and Jake was appreciative of that.

Khonshu is immaterial in our dimension so he couldn't touch Jake. Jake was glad for that.

Khonshu trusted his skills, and appreciated him for who he was.

And Jake truly believed in what Khonshu was doing. He also wanted revenge, didn't mind killing or hurting people to protect others. He wanted to defeat the bad guys.

Marc might also have wanted revenge, an outlet for his rage, but the killings took more of a toll on him than it did Jake.

So if Steven & Marc try to convince Jake to break things off with Khonshu....eeeeeeh, they might encounter some strong opposition.

Tl;dr - So this is how I managed to combine both of the main portrayals of comics!Jake with what we got of MCU!Jake while still making sense character-wise, tadaaaaa : D

Thank you, thank you !

Have a nice Jake-filled day everyone!

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scotianostra · 2 years

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On August 16th 1540 architect Sir James Hamilton of Finnart was executed.

James Hamilton of Finnart was the eldest of the 1st Earl of Arran 2nd Duke of Hamilton whose family seat was Brodick Castle Arran. Arran had no son from his first marriage, hence Finnart was illegitimate via an affair with Mary Boyd, hence he became known as the ‘Bastard of Arran, back in the day Bastard was not classed as a swear word, it merely meant being illegitimate

If you have visited some of the castles and palaces of Scotland you will have seen Hamilton’s’ work, he is credited with much f the Palace at Falkland you see today, and the Palace at Stirling Castle. He also built Craignethan Castle in South Lanarkshire for himself after being gifted the Craignethan Castle by King James V.

Hamilton was also involved in intrigue and persecution; he murdered John Stuart, the Earl of Lennox, and participated in the oppression of the Protestants, including his own cousin Patrick Hamilton, who was burnt at the stake in 1528. Known for his temper, Hamilton also provoked the infamous 'Clear the Causeway’ skirmish in Edinburgh.

Also called Cleanse the Causeway, the Skirmish was the result of enmity between the House of Hamilton and the “Red” Angus line of the House of Clan Douglas, both powerful noble families jealous of each other’s influence over King James V. The fight went badly for the Hamiltons, and Sir Patrick Hamilton and about 70 others were killed in the incident. The Earl of Arran and Sir James fought their way out, and escaped along a narrow close. Stealing a nearby pack-horse that had come into the city with coals, they fled through the shallows of the Nor Loch marshes.

Having survived this he seems to have still been in a good position of influence in the Royal Court and held the post of Lord Steward of the Royal Household and Master of Works.

For unexplained reasons his fickle King became convinced that Hamilton was plotting against him and, despite there being no evidence to support this, arrested his old friend, some of the evidence the King offered on August 16th 1540 at the trial was from 12 years previous and reads;

“Sir James Hamilton of Finnart, having been convicted of the treasonable shooting of guns and firing of missiles outside the palace of Linlithgow and from the bell-tower of the same, at the king and the people in his company, both at the time the king came to the palace and when he withdrew from the same, and especially at his lodging place in the same town, the king being personally present at the time of the firing of the said missiles. And for art and part in the treasonable imagination, planning, and consultation, vulgarly called devising, of assassinations, at the time it is said he was with Archibald Douglas of Kilspindie and James Douglas of Parkhead at the chapel of St Leonard near Edinburgh, after the forfeiture of Archibald Douglas, formerly Earl of Angus, George Douglas of Pittendreich his brother, and the said Archibald Douglas, his father, and also during the siege of Tantallon Castle in consultation with the said Douglases, how he would enter by the window near the upper part of the bed, 'the bedhead’ (superiorem thori - literally above the pillows), in the King’s palace near Holyrood Abbey, and how there he would commit the slaughter of the King. And for common treason and conspiracy against the King, his realm and lieges. Therefore it was given that this James forfeited his life, lands, rents and possessions to the king as his escheat, to remain with him in perpetuity.”

That is how it read from the record books, they weren’t keen on paragraphs back then!

After losing his head in Edinburgh King James seized his lands, taking the silverwork from the chapel at Craignethan along with a chest of the families paperwork many of which were destroyed by crown officers. Cardinal Beaton gave money to his widow, as she was his relative.

That wasn’t the last the King heard from The Bastard of Arran though, Finnart is said to have appeared to the James V in a dream, and declared that he “would shortly lose both arms, then his head.” This prophecy came true, as the King lost both of his young sons in 1541, and died himself in 1542. The story was recorded by John Knox and George Buchanan.

William of Hawthornden and George Buchanan both cited the execution as evidence of arbitrary cruelty and greed in the behaviour of James V. The reasons for Finnart’s execution remain unclear and are still debated between some historians to this day.

No pics of our subject survive, the first pic is the hall Hamilton of Finnart built for himself at Craignethan Castle, and, for me, his most interesting work, Linlithgow Palace fountain and gatehouse

#Scotland #scottish #execution #architect #the stewarts #history

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itsjaywalkers · 4 months

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hello laurie!! <3 insane commute nonnie here (again) omg i read oby yesterday omw to class (ended up staying at my friend's again bc his roommate was still out. sadly he's back) and i should not have done that bc OMG?? BABE I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT THEM THE WHOLE TIME UT GOT SO BAD I SAW MY PROFESSOR (he doesn't even look like james. he's just fit in a 'Hear me out guys...' way)N BLUSHED I WAS ACTUALLY GIGGLING AT RANDOM TIMES THINKING ABT THEM also like. sirius n regulus in this😭😭 regulus cursing sirius out for being a good brother is so real to me as someone with 12 year older brother bc he spent my entire childhood terrorizing me n now he's the sweetest person Ever. not even in an evil way he's just genuinely nice to me so if i ever complain abt him everyone goes ??? YOUR brother??? its so annoying (i love him). just reg veing grumpy<3 he's my fav little purse man and ok oh god never thought i'd say this. i have NEVER gotten the whole daddy thing but now im just🧍‍♂️bc i need to call james potter daddy while he fucks me what who said that also like. extreme apologies for how extremely inappropriate this might've gotten i was up all night studying for a quiz we have today (cannot catch a break w these ppl istg) n i swear my brain refuses to function and i have no idea!!! (please pray for me) also i hope you're doing great<3 sadly i do know work and adult things but im glad to know that nothing bad's going on!! you deserve the best<33 also i Absolutely get being funnier in your mother tongue sometimes i have these sudden thoughts n they're soo funny but i have to translate them which is like. okay but the vibes change istg!! i usually end texting my siblings abt it bc someone deserves to know how absolutely funny i am!! (all i do is make dad jokes) and (im actually so sorry bc ik you prob dont mind the book-long asks but its still!! so embarrassing!! like girl why are you yapping sm!!) i haven't read the 2nd part yet (i read the first part n just stared ahead blankly for like an hour after i read the 1st part. it did things to me) but im gonna read it after my quiz as a little treat<3 thank you for writing them sm!!!<3

HI BABE <333 sorry it took me so long to get back to u, life has been soooo hectic istg

AND OMG IM STILL SO SHY ABOUT U READING OBY but i'm so glad u enjoyed it and that it had the desired effect, it's definitely not the type of story u should read in class or just like . in front of ppl . i don't blame u for getting all flustered around ur professor even if he doesn't look anything like james. it's just the vibe yk??? you're literally so real for that

sirius and reg in oby are !! so important to me !! i feel like they have the best relationship in all of my fics, bc they're on good terms on nothing happens too but they argue . a lot . and they're gonna have some issues down the line. and they're also very close in the boxer au but there's still gonna be a lot of angst regarding their relationship. in oby, tho, they're just brothers <3 they love each other so much <3 and i'm so glad i'm portraying their dynamic accurately bc a lot of their convos are based on stuff me and my sisters have talked/fought about lmao

LISTENNNN I ALSO WASN'T INTO THE WHOLE DADDY THING like i didn't mind it and i read it occassionally but i didn't seek it out. but now that i'm actively writing it . well . i guess i kinda get the appeal (girl who doesn't even have a daddy kink) SO I GET U I REALLY DO

u don't have to apologiseeee i'm always happy to open horny hours especially if it's for james potter <3 and also i know it's been a few days but i hope the quiz went well and that u never do that again bc u need to rest!! i mean it!!

i'm doing quite well actually!! work's been a nightmare but apart from that i'm great!! i recently moved into a new flat with two friends and the place is soooo nice i'm in love with it i can't believe it's ours <333 AND SAMEEEE i always complain about it to my sisters or my spanish friends bc it annoys me to no end like . i'm literally soooo funny and it pains me that you'll never realise bc it's only when i speak in my first language ugh

I REALLY DON'T MIND THEM BABE IN FACT I LOVE THEM NEVER STOP and don't apologise again i'll kick ur ass!!! and god you're so very sweet to me, i hope u enjoyed/enjoy it and i'm sending u the biggest hug + forehead kissie in the world MWAH <3

#asks #insane commute nonnie

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bisexualhobi · 2 years

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Another thing about shinee (and also just many 2nd gen kpop idols) is that they were all-around entertainers singing live and in harmony, and had grit/raw and honed in talent that’s just not as prioritized lately (in my opinion. ) Shinee were selling out arenas, performing the hardest choero in kpop with their mics on, booked and busy with television programs where they were honestly so fucking funny and entertaining. Started clothing and hairstyle trends.debuted with the best debut song in kpop, onews voice, Jonghyun being an artistic force who participated so much in lyrics and their music. Key designing various concert and concept looks for their comebacks and performances. Taemins untouchable solo run, everything about minho —-AND They still remain sought after celebrities for tv and radio personality these days especially key and the nations boyfriend Minho. Ok maybe I need to stop gushing about shinee but !!!

😭😭😭😭 no it's okay my blog is ALWAYS open for shinee praise!!!! this really made me happy to read tbh and I love your enthusiasm

to be honest I'm not like a full fledged shawol there's a LOT of history I don't know but the things I do know are enough to realize that shinee birthed the current kpop artistic scape alone and everyone is one or way or another emulating something that at some point shinee pioneered or perfected or invented. (like dance practice videos? you have shinee to thank for that)

jonghyun fought tooth and nail for shinee to be granted artistic autonomy and creativity in a company that was NOTORIOUSLY anti idol involvement..... and it completely set a precedent for acts to come, both in and out of sm. that's right, when armys brag about self produced idols they have jonghyun (and bigbang) to thank.

taemin's solo career is legendary and untouchable and will always be a blueprint in the industry. he was the FIRST group idol to be given a solo career by sm. and he was fucking 20 years old when that happened. because THAT is how overwhelmingly talented he is and sm could see that even back then.

kibum..... kibum is such a creative force that had to WORK for everything he has. he wasn't given ANYTHING on a silver platter. his own company sidelined him and he had to work his ass off to prove he could be given responsibilities. his input in shinee's styling and art direction is so important it influenced an entire generation of idols. when you see these new gen idols wearing celine and fucking raf simons and air force ones paired with miumiu.... that's kibum.

so YEAH I say we should all show some love and respect for shinee and say thank you shinee for paving the way!!!!!

#asks #shinee

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hoe-doroki · 4 years

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hollow victory ch2

A part of the ‘A Spare Heart’ series.

pairing: none–eventual Shouto x Reader later in the series.

wc: 3.9k

genre: gen

summary: You transferred to U.A. from America two weeks ago. You’ve trained, studied, and observed alongside your classmates, but no one has found out your quirk yet. Today, they’re going be meeting it head on. You don’t have as much combat experience as any of them, but you have the advantage: surprise. Because none of them are prepared for what you have coming for them.

a/n: 2nd of 2 chapters! Make sure to read chapter 1 first! American!fem!Reader.

As you watched Todoroki retreat slowly to the stands, rejoining Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka, you remembered all the things people used to say about your quirk back in America. You looked at everyone back together on one set of cement bleachers while you remained on the ground, and saw in their faces that they now knew.

You fell to the ground, groaning, “God” in English, only partially because of the fresh pain. You’d been hit just about everywhere and, despite all the work you’d been doing to build muscle for the past few months, you’d definitely pushed past your limit. You were drenched in sweat and probably in need of a lot more water, despite all you’d gulped down from Aizawa. Still, that wasn’t what hurt the most.

What was coming next would be.

“Alright,” Aizawa said as he handed you another water and Cementoss formed a chair for you to sit in, facing the rest of your peers. “Does everyone have a good idea of what Y/N’s quirk is?”

There were nods and murmurs among the group and more than a few faces were looking at you warily. Your heart sank at the familiarity of it. Yaoyorozu’s hand shot up and Aizawa called on her.

“She has the ability to manipulate emotions in others. She doesn’t appear to need any eye or physical contact, although it’s unknown if any other information is needed. She has fine-honed the kinds of emotions she can use and has some mastery over nuance. Endurance seems to be a moderate factor.”

Aizawa nodded, looking at you for approval that Yaoyorozu had gotten it right, although you knew she had. “Anything to add?” he asked.

You sighed heavily, but began the old spiel anyway, talking slowly as you tried to fit everything into Japanese. “There is some range factored into it, so it only works if I’m close by a person, and the connection gets faint before severing the farther away someone is. I have some control over how long the emotions last, but they’ll naturally fade without my intervention. Um, I can’t read minds or anything like that, so I just have to intuit how people are feeling. The emotion sticks better if it’s something that someone is already feeling in some way, like if someone is feeling a little lazy, it’s easy for me to strengthen that, but it won’t really work if I try to put an emotion on someone that they’re already strongly feeling. Like making someone who’s already angry more angry. If that all makes sense. Yaoyorozu is right that the first emotion I hit someone with is the strongest and subsequent ones don’t hit as well, because then they start to blur a little.”

You were surprised you’d managed to get all of that out. Your Japanese must have gotten a lot better in your last two weeks here. You almost smiled, but then you remembered what you were talking about and you stopped. Truthfully, you weren’t even sure you’d described the extent of it, since there were still things you didn’t know. This was the most varied use of your quirk that you’d ever pulled off, which should have felt momentous. And it did, a little, but that feeling was shadowed by the way some of your peers had looked at you. Todoroki, Bakugou, Kaminari. You couldn’t enjoy what you’d done to them.

“What’s your quirk called?” Midoriya asked as he frantically scribbled in his notebook.

For a moment, you didn’t answer. But there was no point in hiding it, so you said, “Legally, it’s called gaslighting. I think that gives the wrong idea, though.” You mumbled the last part under your breath, but it seemed your peers heard you anyway. Sound really did travel well with all the cement.

“Why’s that?” Tsu asked.

“Because gaslighting is a way people abuse others by telling lies in order to distort their sense of reality,” you spat out. “And, yeah, okay, my quirk distorts someone’s sense of reality so they’re feeling an emotion that they wouldn’t otherwise, but it’s not the same. It’s more like projecting or, I don’t know, just creating emotion, but the quirk was already on the books, so that’s the name I was stuck with.”

“But you were able to totally freeze some people like Bakugou and Todoroki,” Hagakure said. “How was your quirk able to do that?”

Todoroki hadn’t had the chance to share his experience with your quirk with the group yet and you were willing to bet that Bakugou hadn’t been in the mood to tell anyone his. So it was no wonder she was confused about how you’d taken down two of the strongest fighters in your class so easily.

“I came up with strategies for everyone, based on what I’ve observed of you for the past couple weeks and what was available online,” you explained. “Then I discussed the strategies with Aizawa-sensei to see if they made sense and alter them a bit. I’m sure you know by now that most of you got a different emotion based on what I thought would slow you down or make you give up. Since I can’t defeat most of you physically, especially with quirks at play, that’s what I have to do.”

“So…what did you use on everyone?” Ashido asked, looking almost giddy as she eyed her fellow classmates.

You’d known that there would be a lot of questions for you after your quirk was revealed, as had Aizawa. But still, he took a step forward and put his hand up. “Y/N is exhausted. She just fought twenty of you with only very short breaks in between. And yet she only lost four times and Midoriya is the only one who managed to guess her quirk before the battle. She’s going to Recovery Girl and you can all go see her at lunch. For now, Todoroki, Bakugou, melt the ice and everyone else can spar, quirks included.”

Everyone looked excited at the prospect of being able to spar freely with quirks, something they hadn’t been able to do in class since your arrival. Of course, it wasn’t lost on you that you were going to miss it, but at least you’d be able to take part next time.

If anyone would be willing to partner with you.

Cementoss walked you to the nurse’s office and stayed as you endured your first kiss from Recovery Girl. She didn’t give you a hard time as you knew she did for students sometimes, since all you had were minor injuries. A lot of them—your body was covered with bruises not to mention a few small scratches and muscles that would soon be wound as a rubber band ball regardless of what she did. It all added up and, despite the fact that she put you just short of ‘good as new’ you were exhausted at the end. Although, you’d been exhausted to begin with.

“Why don’t you take a nap on the cot until the end of your class and I’ll wake you when it’s time to head to lunch?”

You’d resigned yourself to missing the rest of class as soon as you’d left Gym Gamma, and you were hardly in a position to argue. You were out as soon as you closed your eyes.

It seemed hardly a minute had passed when Recovery Girl was in your ear, Cementoss having left the room sometime during your nap. Which, apparently, had been about a half an hour.

You pushed yourself up and found that a lot of the aches and pains you’d walked into the room with were nothing but phantoms now, although the stiffness you’d expected tomorrow morning was already beginning to hit. Your quads and hamstrings were so tight you couldn’t walk without limping.

“Take these with lunch,” Recovery Girl said as she handed you a couple muscle-relaxing pain relievers.

Usually you didn’t like to take those and preferred to know where you were feeling more tender, but you grabbed them gratefully this time. You’d have to take a truck full of painkillers for your pain to go away that easily.

You walked by yourself to the Lunch Rush cafeteria, keeping an eye on landmarks as you did so. After two weeks, you generally knew how to get from place to place—especially somewhere as vital as the cafeteria—but the reminders reassured you since you couldn’t read any of the classroom signs pointing the way.

When you made it to the cafeteria, the rest of your class was already there, and some of them were waving you over. For the past two weeks, only the likes of Iida, Midoriya, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Ashido had done so, quickly representing themselves as the most welcoming members of class 2-A, even if Iida was doing it mostly out of duty.

Everyone, save Aoyama, was sitting together taking up two whole tables, minus one seat between Ashido and Yaoyorazu. There was a simple noodle dish in that spot and you pointed to it and asked, “Is that for me?”

“Sure is!” Ashido said, patting the seat. “Hope it’s okay. We didn’t weren’t sure what you like, with your American tastes and everything.”

“Honestly, anything looks good right now,” you said as you sat down. All of the food smells were making you ravenous.

“How are you feeling?” Yaoyorazu asked as you took your first bit of noodles. Someone had set you up with a fork instead of chopsticks, and you were grateful for that. You could manage with chopsticks, but there was nothing quite like a fork for shoveling food down your gullet.

You nodded as you chewed, swallowing the big bite as you said, “Much better, thanks. Pretty sore, but no bad injuries.”

“That’s a relief,” Midoriya said. He’d hit you the hardest out of everyone except for maybe Shouji, so it made sense that he’d be the most concerned about you. You smiled at him through another bite of food.

“So…” Ashido drawled, looking at you expectantly. You just raised your eyebrows up at her, bowl up to your chin as you kept eating. “Are you gonna tell us what you did to everyone?”

You looked around at the group to see if everyone had the same enthusiasm that Ashido did. There were a few looks of casual curiosity and more than a few who seemed to be purposefully looking away. But only Tsu, Yaoyorozu, and Sero looked equally intrigued about the emotions you had used against them and their friends.

“Well,” you started, taking gulp of water, “Ashido, I tried all kinds of things against you. But it seems you roll with the punches pretty well, because even though I could see you taking on all the emotions, none of them actually slowed you down. Happy, sad, angry, whatever. Your intention was strong regardless. That’s really good.”

“Oh, that explains the emotional roller coaster!” Ashido said. “I thought I was just having funky endorphins or something.”

You shrugged. “Maybe that’s part of how my quirk works. I don’t really know.”

“Wait, you said intention,” Midoriya said, looking up from where he was scribbling in his notebook. “Is that how you fight back against it? Intention?”

“Is that what you felt?” you asked back.

You’d never seen someone overpower your quirk before, although you hadn’t used it offensively very much in your life thus far either. The most you’d used it had been on people who were accepting your quirk voluntarily, so naturally they wouldn’t be fighting back.

“Hmm,” Midoriya paused, looking up at the ceiling. “I…well, the feeling that I think you used on me was something like total disinterest. I was coming at you and suddenly I was asking myself, ‘why bother?’ ‘Why even do this?’ And that made me give up a little bit. But I was still in control of my thoughts and was able to tell myself that we were fighting and was able to come back to myself, only to start feeling indifferent again.”

“Yeah, so I was thinking ‘boredom’ for you,” you explained, finally beginning to slow down on the noodles. “You clearly have so much passion and ambition, that going in the opposite direction of that seemed like something that would inhibit you. But since that’s probably something that you never feel, especially in combat, your mind was able to fight against it easier than emotion that’s more normal for you.”

“Okay,” Midoriya said, writing frantically. “That still doesn’t explain how someone would fight back. Especially if it is a feeling that would stick better.”

You shrugged. “I’m not a hundred percent sure, to be honest. I’ve never had this quirk used on me before, so there’s no way for me to know.”

“That makes sense…” Midoriya mumbled to himself as he continued scribbling.

“What did you use on me?” Jirou asked. She was barely making eye contact with you and you saw a bit of the distrust you’d seen on her, amongst others, after you’d revealed your quirk. She probably felt like her psyche had been invaded. Which, after all, it had.

“Embarrassment,” you admitted. “A bit of shame and anxiety and stress and you started to lose confidence in yourself. But you’re good at using your quirk, so you should have better confidence then that.”

Your cheeks felt hot as you said the words, already knowing that they probably wouldn’t be received well. There you were, having only been with these people for a couple weeks and the first way you were making yourself known was by diagnosing their emotional issues. Jirou gave a little huff and a nod, saying “Okay,” before turning back to her food.

“Ah, I see, so this is also an opportunity for us to learn how someone who knows us a little bit perceives us,” Iida said, putting a hand forward. “Not to mention a bit of insight as to what Aizawa-sensei thinks our shortcomings still are. This is an excellent lesson.”

“Well, your shortcoming is obviously that you’re too polite,” Tsu said.

Iida turned to Tsu, full of offense. “I don’t see how that’s a shortcoming,” he defended.

“Well, Tsu’s kind of right,” you said. “I did take advantage of your chivalry. But I’m not sure that kind of thing would have worked on you against a real villain, and without the heightened emotion.”

Iida shook his head. “I don’t want the technicalities of a training exercise in my favor. This is something I must work on to be a pro hero. So, tell me, what emotion did you use on me?”

“Shame,” you answered. “Different from Jirou, though. For you, obviously you pride honor so much that I was able to give you that emotion whilst acting as though you’d injured me so that the emotion would stick better. I did similar things to Ojiro and Satou and used regret just to slow them down a bit.”

“Ah, so acting out the scenario helps…” Midoriya muttered.

“Those are strong emotions,” Yaoyorozu commented. “Stronger than boredom, like you used on Midoriya. Does that have something to do with the power of your quirk as well?”

“Definitely,” you said. “I forgot to mention that before. It’s a bit of a person to person thing but, generally, yeah. An emotion like anger is always going to be stronger than, say, calmness or peacefulness.”

“A tragedy of the human condition,” Tokoyami said to himself.

You ended up going through everyone else one by one as they asked, sometimes struggling for the exact nuance of the word you were intending, occasionally reverting to English. You told them how you’d used anger against Tsu’s even-keeled nature, something she’d been able to guess, doubt against Yaoyorozu, which seemed to hit hard, and fear against Kouda.

“Okay, I don’t understand what she might have used against me,” Kaminari bemoaned. “All I could think once the match started was that she was really pretty and I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“Dude, you were horny,” Kirishima exclaimed, patting his friend on the back. “Y/N, tell me I’m wrong. You made him horny, right?”

“Um…” you started awkwardly and both Kirishima and Mineta gave hoots of laughter. “Well, lust, really. But hey, the good news is that means you’re not a sadist?”

There were more laughs from some of the boys and you might have joined in for the good humor, but it was still embarrassing. You could see a slight blush on Kaminari’s face and your cheeks were warm as well. And when Mineta’s leering eyes turned to you, you couldn’t help but tug up your uniform’s zipper a bit.

“Wow, she could be just like a Viagra,” Mineta murmured.

“I don’t need that,” Kaminari insisted. “I don’t need any of that.”

He looked at you as he said it, and you couldn’t help but hear, “I don’t need any of you,” instead. It shouldn’t matter, but it did. It always did.

Soon, your bowl was empty of noodles and Bakugou and Todoroki were the only ones who hadn’t asked how you’d manipulated them. And it didn’t seem as though either of them were going to. Of course, Bakugou’s friends couldn’t let that lie, so Kirishima came forward and asked. “So what did you do to poor Bakugou to make him fall to his knees?”

“I have an idea,” Mineta said, but everyone ignored him.

You looked at Bakugou, not wanting to say unless he was okay with it. He was glaring powerfully at you, but he didn’t tell you or Kirishima to shut up, as you’d so often heard him growl in your time at U.A. already. That must have meant that he was at least a little curious too.

“His was a bit harder to form in my mind,” you admitted, “but one of the simpler ones to plan. I was going for a sense of defeat. Some sadness, some hopelessness, despair, shame. He seems to run so much on anger—anger and a need to win, really—that if those aren’t at the forefront, he’s toast.”

That brought a growl out of Bakugou, but you continued.

“I’m sure that he could have broken through it like Midoriya did, since those emotions probably aren’t common for you,” you said, turning your gaze to Bakugou’s despite how it made you feel like he was going to pounce and tear you limb from limb at any moment. “But I think that that also made them really surprising for you to feel, especially since you were first, and that gave me just enough time to end the match quickly. But if something more time consuming than capture tape had been involved…I don’t know.”

Some people might have heard a compliment somewhere in your words, but as soon as you’d said Midoriya’s name, he’d snarled, closing him off from hearing anything good in your words. From what you’d observed so far, you weren’t surprised.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the newest member of class 2-A,” a blond boy said from behind you. He was looking down his nose at you, a wicked grin on his lips. “I hear you’ve got a freaky quirk that messes with people’s minds. Just what 2-A needed to round them out, since we have a new one too.”

You were frozen, unable to respond. How had word already gotten out? Only the class, Cementoss, and Aizawa had been in Gym Gamma and you’d assumed that they hadn’t blabbed to anyone else on the way to the cafeteria. Although, there wasn’t anything stopping them if that’s what they wanted to do. But maybe other students had just overheard the nature of the discussion you all had been having and had been able to put the pieces together based on the questions and answers you’d given.

“So, tell me? Can you force people to like you? Force everyone in this pathetic, little class to enjoy spending time around you until you turn around and convince them to give up in battles so you can rise to the top of the famous 2-A class? Pretty smart strategy if you ask—”

“Nobody did ask you, Monoma,” a girl with orange hair said as her fist ballooned and closed around the boy. “Sorry he’s your introduction to us. He’s barely house trained.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” you assured her. It wasn’t the worst you’d ever heard.

“Still,” she continued. “On behalf of class 2-B, I wish you luck. Enjoy your lunch.”

The girl carried the blond away, seemingly unbothered by the weight of an entire human person that she was now carrying. Once they were gone, you turned to your empty tray and picked it up.

“I’m still pretty tired from Recovery Girl,” you said, forcing a bit of cheer into your voice as you stared at the thin sauce coating the bottom of your bowl. “I’m going to rest a bit and see you all back in class.”

You only made it a few steps toward the dish station when you felt someone coming up behind you. You glanced back to see Todoroki, following you with his own empty tray.

“Can I ask you what emotion you used on me?” he asked quietly, coming up to your side.

You take a breath, seeing the defeated look he’d had on his face, even after you’d pulled the influence of your quirk back from him again. “Sadness. Maybe a bit of regret. No anger.”

“I see,” Todoroki said.

With that, he brushed past you and placed his dishes on the rack, then returned to his friends. You did the same with your dishes, and then went to the exit. When you pushed open the doors, there was someone standing with his arms crossed, looking at you as though he’d been waiting. You didn’t think you’d ever had so many people who wanted to speak to you before.

This boy had indigo hair and looked as tired as you felt. Actually, probably as tired as you looked too. He surprised you when he gave a small, uncertain smile. “Hi, I’m Shinsou. What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/N. It’s my given name, but I’m more comfortable if you call me that.” It was what you said every time you introduced yourself here in Japan. Another thing keeping you just a little bit othered.

“Okay, Y/N,” Shinsou said. “It’s nice to meet you. I…I heard that you have a quirk that lets you influence people’s emotions?”

You sighed. You could already hear it. This guy was going to ask you to make him feel happier or, judging by his face, more energetic or something like that. Sometimes you hated these guys even more than people like that Monoma fellow.

“No, I—” Shinsou started, seeming to catch onto the way your face fell, “I just wanted to say that my quirk lets me control other people in a way too, and sometimes—often, actually—people make assumptions about me that hurt. So I don’t know if you feel like that, but if so,” he shrugged, “I understand.”

You didn’t smile. You couldn’t say you felt happy, but as a breath whooshed out of you and your whole body sagged, despite the stiffness fisting every muscle, you could only think of one emotion.

Relief.

#bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha insert #mha insert #todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #shoto x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #a spare heart

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worldspinsmadly · 3 years

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OKAY! This is going to be an extreeeemely long post with my various WandaVision theories! SPOILERS ahead for episodes 1-5, so tread carefully if you haven’t seen them yet! Also, buckle in for a lot of reading haha...

- Agnes is Agatha Harkness

This theory is pretty widely accepted but in case you haven’t heard it yet/need a reminder of what the theory is: Agatha Harkness is a witch in the comic books. She is an agent of Mephisto (basically the devil in the MCU, a sorcerer who is super powerful & does trades/grants wishes but in a monkey’s paw kind of way) and also acts as Wanda’s mentor when she is training. She is there to help Wanda realize her full potential. Reasons for this theory being accepted are:

1. Agnes = AGatha HarkNESs

Pretty self explanatory, this one.

2. One piece of evidence everyone likes to point to is that Agnes is ALWAYS wearing a brooch, much like Agatha.

In a similar vein, Agnes dresses up like a witch in the Halloween episode (which we get tonight!!). The third comic-y reason is that she says her anniversary with Ralph (whom we NEVER see) is June 2nd, which is the start of the Salem Witch Trials. Agatha Harkness was one of the witches at Salem.

3. She (especially in episode 5) keeps showing up at the exact right time to help Wanda however she needs it. Examples include her showing up to welcome Wanda to the neighborhood and plan the dinner with Vision, bringing her along to the neighborhood planning committee, helping Wanda with the boys (showing up when they’re crying, the doghouse). She is always there, basically acting as a guide for Wanda in the town.

3. She knows that this is a fake world and that Wanda has some control over what happens. This is most clearly evidenced in episode 5 when she says “Do you want me to run that again?” She also doesn’t notice/care that Wanda has magic, which anyone else in the town would. Also - anyone else notice how she overacts constantly? (In a good way - I love Kathryn Hahn)

Which brings me to theory two:

Agnes/Agatha Harkness is the one in control, not Wanda - or at the very least, is using her power to try to influence Wanda’s actions.

1. Agatha is an agent of Mephisto. I think that she is acting on his orders to make this town and Wanda’s life in it the way that it is. Multiple reasons for this, but the main one for me is episode 5 (On A Very Special Episode), she clearly has control over/intimate knowledge of what’s happening inside the WandaVis household. How else would she know to show up when the twins are crying, or when they bring in a new dog? Other sketch things:

2. The boys only ever age up (or attempt to age up) when Agnes is there. I think that she is the one who is making them do that. If she can control every single person in town’s actions and speech, who’s to say she can’t control and manipulate the magic twins’ powers as well?

3. She clearly* killed Sparky, likely in order to try to help Wanda realize how powerful she really is and bring in the idea that she can bring people back to life. It may even be possible that Agnes wants to bring back a specific person but can’t without Wanda’s powers. *To me, it’s clear, because when she walked into the kitchen, Sparky almost killed himself with the electricity but didn’t, and then of course she “found him” in her azaleas.

4. Norm never specifies who “she” is that’s in his head.

MOVING ON TO THEORY THREE:

SWORD and (Acting) Director Hayward are sketchy as fuck, and likely are doing some evil shit and trying to pin it on Wanda.

I don’t mean this to say that SWORD is the organization that put the town in the hex, or is the one that is controlling everything that's happening, but I think it's very clear that there's something going on behind the scenes that they don't want us to know. There are lots of different ways that you can see this, but some of the ones that are most important are as follows:

1. SWORD is clearly developing weapons which Monica highlights when she says, “it also says observation and response on that door not creation.” This is apparently against the mission of SWORD itself, which does not lead to a super trustworthy organization.

2. Director Hayward is clearly trying to place blame on Wanda for things she either didn’t do or didn’t control. The clearest example of this is when he is giving his speech in Episode 5 after Monica comes back, and Jimmy Woo was speaking. Hayward keeps interrupting to explain how Wanda is evil - she joined Hydra (as Jimmy says, it’s more complicated than that), she purposefully hurt people in Lagos (it was an accident), she fought against the Avengers (before gaining their trust and joining them). (Also, side note, I love Jimmy Woo and how kind he is. We need more Jimmy Woo in the MCU).

3. The video that he shares of Wanda breaking into SWORD...not a single. person. in the SWORD lobby turns, notices, or reacts at all to Wanda walking in, violently throwing open doors, and basically stealing a corpse. I don’t know about you, but if I worked in a secure and secretive government facility, and a rogue Avenger that’s been gone for 5 years just suddenly appeared and was using her powers to break down doors and steal a secret project, I’d probably at LEAST turn and look.

3a. I’m honestly not even sure that that’s Wanda vs. a body double, like, there’s a reason that the only power they showed was her opening a door, breaking glass, and gently coming down into the room - all things that can be easily faked. You’re telling me that SWORD, in all their advanced tech, space travel, science, money, you’re telling me that the best visuals they have are 1. barely in color 2. blurry and 3. don’t show close-ups of her face? I think that it wasn’t Wanda who took Vision’s body, and I think the footage was fabricated.

4. CLEARLY - SWORD has been experimenting on Vision. Whether to revive him, recreate his technology, whatever, it is explicitly stated that that is against his living will and the Sokovia Accords. IF (and I think it’s a big if...) Wanda did violently break in to steal his body, it would likely be to protect him and make sure he is being honored, not make him into a weapon.

NEXT THEORY!

VISION IS ALIVE - and no, Wanda is not just puppeteering his corpse (this is one of the worst theories I’ve heard about WandaVision and I hate it and if I never hear it again it’ll be too soon)

1. I have several reasons to think this. First, if he weren’t alive, why would we have so many scenes of just Vision, or scenes where Vision is figuring out that something is wrong?

2. In the trailers, we see Vision leaving the boundaries of the hex (to be fair, I haven’t watched any of the new trailers, because I don’t want any spoilers) - BUT - how could he do that if he weren’t his own being?

3. I genuinely do not think that Marvel is going to make us watch Vision die again. Not a third time.

How is he alive? I think that there’s obviously an extreme amount of Mind Stone energy within Wanda, and I’m sure that there’s a world in which she could transfer some of that energy to Vision and help bring him back. Not entirely sure of the methodology to be fair, but I just have a feeling in my heart.

OKAY ON TO RANDOM THEORIES THAT I BELIEVE BUT HAVE NO EVIDENCE FOR:

1. Monica came out of the Hex with powers - my only reasoning being that her brain scan and her blood draws were both inconclusive/blank.

2. Wanda isn’t lying when she says she doesn’t know how this started or what’s happening. I think she has more control than most people in town, but I think that’s more that she is a little tuned in to the frequencies of the town than that she started it all. But I really think that Agnes is in control.

3. OH PIETRO - He’s the Evan Peters Quicksilver instead of ATJ (rip) because Agnes had to search through the multiverse for him - she can’t bring people back to life (Wanda can though...ATJ i’m holding out hope...). So anyway, she just searched through the universes and found the closest thing to Pietro that she could.

4. Aerospace engineer that Monica knows might be Reed Richards aka Mr. Fantastic. (The Fantastic 4 and the X-Men have a long history with Agatha Harkness, so it would make sense to bring those characters in now that Disney is able to)

5. Dottie is also a witch - she’s not identified on the magnet board with the other townspeople, she’s in control of some things.

6. Hayward might be Mephisto in disguise, who knows.

7. Magneto is going to come back at the end of the series i have no real reason to believe this

8. I don’t trust the post man.

OKAY THAT’S ALL I have to go back to work and this is way too long please send me all your theories :)

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fluffymcu · 4 years

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Always (Bucky x Reader)

Summary: so this is kinda sad. Okay the whole thing is sad but I’m just in a sad mood lately so I wrote this Bucky fic. Basically the reader finds out that Bucky has been hiding most of his emotions from her and she finds out how much Bucky is really hurting. And the reader tries to comfort and reassure him, and pick up his very heavy heart. This is not a tickle fic, sorry, but it does mention it.

This is probably the longest fic I’ve ever written 👀

Warnings: Angst? If that’s the word for it, just sadness. Bucky’s past. So yes, very sad.

ALSO THERES SOME PICTURES OF SOME ART THAT I FOUND THAT I THOUGHT REALLY WENT WELL WITH MY STORY.

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With Bucky’s sad past, you were impressed at how happy Bucky would be. You always called him your “Happy Boy” because despite his backstory, he still managed to keep moving forward and focus on the positive. He always made you laugh, laughed along with others, and he was always out and about doing something to keep him busy. You’d wake up to the water running in the sink in your bathroom and watch as he’d walk out with his toothbrush and go back in with a pair of clothes. You’d eat breakfast together, along with the team and in the evenings you’d go on your evening runs. He’d never let you go out running by yourself, especially when it got dark. So he’d always go with you to protect you.

He loved to challenge you to races when you’d go, and of course, he’d always win. You’d get salty, cause you’re a sore loser, and he’d always just laugh and scoop you up and tickle you until you got over it. It was almost always like this. You never suspected anything about his behavior. You always thought he was just your happy and positive Baby Buck.

Yes, you knew that Bucky hid things about his past to a certain extent. And yes, he’d have nightmares but you always assumed that that’s what comes with trauma like that. But you never really pushed him to go into detail because he’d make it seem like it didn’t bother him much since he was always so happy.

But it did. It bothered him a lot.

Today was one of his worst days. He had had a very graphic nightmare of one of the innocent people he had been sent to kill on a mission. Usually he’d have many of those nightmares almost every other night, but for some reason, last night’s hit different. It was like it brought so much more guilt and pain than usual. And then all the emotion flooded in. The guilt. The horror. The terrifying feeling of not being able to control your own body. The feeling of your brain knowing exactly what you’re doing without knowing what you’re actually doing. Being drowned out of your own thoughts by orders forcefully put in your head. Bucky grimaced at every painful feeling going through his body.

My head will be dead forever.

Whenever he’d have days like this, he’d always hide it by taking a “workout day”, which consisted of him spending most of the day in the gym down in the basement since everyone else always used the gym on the 2nd floor. That would give him the privacy he needed to just feel what he needed to feel and ride out the wave. It was hard, but he had to force himself to feel better. Even if he felt horrible, he’d have to swallow it and move. That’s what HYDRA taught him.

Thankfully, you weren’t in the compound today. You were out doing errands and had a doctors appointment later on today so it guaranteed your absence for most of the day. He sat on the ottoman in your shared bedroom and clasped his hands together and hung his head low. Tears stung his eyes as the nightmare replayed in his head over and over again. Every possible thought he has every had about HYDRA raced through his mind, the feeling becoming unbearable. He shut his eyes tightly and brought his hands up to rub them and he finally broke down in tears. His shoulders shook with every breath and sob he let out. He shook his head at himself, slightly annoyed that this exact situation happens every few weeks. He felt so alone, but he didn’t want anyone to feel burdened by his problems. He believed that if he shared how he truly felt, and let go of some of the negative thoughts he kept in, that’s everyone would push him away. And he didn’t want that. He needed people. Friends. Things to at least temporarily distract him from the horrors he remembers every day.

Your doctor had called that morning saying that his client before you had cancelled so the appointment could be moved earlier. You gladly accepted and got your appointment over with. You drove your way home and you set down the shopping and grocery bags at the kitchen and the living room, and you headed upstairs to your room really quick to charge your phone that was about to die.

But as you entered your bedroom, your eyes widen in shock as you see your beloved Bucky basically whimpering in his own arms. You stopped in your tracks at the sight of him. He was sitting on the ottoman, his legs curled up a bit and he sobbed. He was hugging himself tightly, his head ducked into his crossed arms. Your heart shattered. This was so out of character for Bucky. To say you were confused would be an understatement.

“Bucky?” You gasped lightly. He startled at your voice and looked up at you with a frightened expression. He quickly got up and took a few steps towards you.

“Y/n? What-” he panted, his face contorted. “What are you doing here?! You had an appointment.” He says, his voice cracking and full of surprise. You just stood there, staring at him in shock and confusion. You were at a loss for words for the moment and Bucky realized it, quickly gulping and looking away in guilt. You quickly snap out of it.

“I-umm. I-” you blink. “The Doctor. He- he called me and told me that I could come in earlier because his... Bucky, are you okay?” You ask, the last part only able to come out as a whisper. Bucky quickly nodded and put on a smile. Only this time you could see right through it.

“Yeah,” he breathed out a laugh. “Yeah baby, I’m fine. Just a..little rough day today. Allergies and whatnot.” He waved off. You looked at him through narrowed eyes, an indication that you knew he was lying.

“Bucky.” You started. “You are not okay. You were just sobbing! Why?” You ask. You made sure to keep your voice level but this was very concerning for you. What was he not telling you?

“Doll, I-” he started to protest but you grimaced.

“Bucky don’t lie to me. Just-” You took a sharp breath, softening your expression. “Just please. Tell me what’s bothering you. Let me feel what you feel. Don’t hide it from me. Please.” You plead, taking his hand and guiding him to the foot of the bed, motioning for him to take a seat. “Sit, please.” With a sigh, Bucky complies and takes a seat on the foot of the bed. You stay standing up, standing in between his legs and you caress his head, rubbing your thumb over his cheekbones. He looks down at the floor, letting out shaky breaths. He was close to breaking. You look at him with sad eyes. “Tell me whats wrong, baby.” You whisper. And that was all it took for him.

Bucky’s eyes immediately teared up and soon enough, large tears were flowing down his cheeks. Your heart broke in half and the sight of your Bucky breaking down in tears and you straddled his lap quickly before pulling him into a tight hug, him quickly embracing you. You rested his head into the crook of your neck as he let out quiet sobs.

“I just want them to stop.” He sobbed. You sighed sadly, knowing what he was referring to. Bucky struggled with nightmares a lot. He’d never really tell you what he’d see because sometimes they were too graphic and he didn’t want you to know of those. And you were fine with it. You were always there to hold him close and comfort him until he fell back asleep. But you never really knew the extent of his issue until now. It was the first time you’d seen Bucky truly broken and it made your heart crack to think of all the times he’d put up an act to seem alright when inside, he’d never felt so dead inside.

You sigh and hug him impossibly closer as you feel his tears staining your shirt. You stayed like this for a bit before you spoke. “Talk to me buck.” You cooed. After a moment, Bucky pulled away slightly and took a deep breath, a moment with just the sound of the strong wind outside and passing cars.

“I know I’m free of what they put in my head; that they won’t be able to control me anymore. But everything else is still there. And it hurts-” he paused,having to take a sharp breath to keep himself together, bowing his head down and keeping his gaze on your legs. “It hurts because even though I feel a big weight lifted, knowing that I’ll never have to be afraid of being under someone’s control again and use me to do injustice, there’s still the weight of living with all the bad things I’ve done in the past. And it just feels like I’ll never be truly free.” He explained, his voice cracking with every word.

You fought back your tears, afraid that if he’d see them, he’d feel bad and stop talking about it. You didn’t want that; you wanted him to tell you as much as he could because he should never have to go through this by himself. You were in this together. “Oh, Bucky.” You whispered, rubbing your thumbs over his stubble. You slightly nodded, silently motioning for him to continue.

He gulped, gripping your thigh absentmindedly and thinking for a moment, trying to swallow the thick tight feeling in his throat. “It’s like the memories I want,,,I don’t have. And I’m just stuck with these... nightmares. All I remember is the pain and torture I went through. I know I must have some good memories, back in my time before it all happened, but... they didn’t let me keep them. All I remember is screaming. And the cries of the innocent people I killed. And the torture they put me through.” He paused. “...I just wish I could remember something good.” He sobbed, wiping his tears quickly and glancing up at the small book on his nightstand.

He’d read the book almost every other night, since it contained few memories that he was able to remember. Most of them were of Steve, and his sisters. Some of his nights out dancing and a few of the war. But there were only so many memories he had. “Even the ones I have in my memory journal don’t feel real.” He sighed.

Bucky was only sharing a fraction of the pain he’s gone through over so many years. And you knew that. You had already felt horrible inside. If only you were there to witness these things being done to him. It would truly end you.

He had gone through so much. And you could only imagine the number of times he tried to escape from HYDRA or resist their authority, only to be tortured and beaten as punishment, kept in inhumane cells until he eventually gave up hope that he would ever be free. The thought of being forced to accept that you were now owned by an organization that terrorized thousands. Their property. Their puppet. Like an animal, not being able to speak for yourself. Not being able to want something. To have something. They took it all away and left him with nothing but horrors to keep him up at night. Just the thought of all this made your stomach twist into a horrible knot. But you knew that whatever you were feeling, Bucky felt it worse. He’d lived it.

You swallowed the knot in your throat and shook your head lightly. “I’m so sorry James.” You sympathize, playing lightly with a strand of his hair, knowing playing with his hair always relaxed him. Bucky sighed as he hung his head slightly.

“I just wish I wasn’t so weak.” He mumbled. Your eyebrows furrow at his statement and you use your hand to lift up his head to look at you. He wasn’t weak. He was anything but weak. He was a super soldier for god’s sake. His strength, speed, and agility was elite. But part of you knew what he was referring to. So that’s what you needed to address.

“Bucky, it’s okay to be weak. You don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s not healthy. You’re not allowing yourself to feel.” You started, looking deep into his beautiful blue eyes which always held a certain softness in them. “You can always talk to me, Buck. You can’t go through this alone. None of what the Winter Soldier did was your fault. I know it’s hard to believe that but it’s true. You have to be considerate with yourself. I know, and everyone else knows that you would never hurt an innocent soul in your right mind. It’s just what those monsters used your body to do. All of those lives? Their blood is on HYDRA’s hands. Not yours. And I’m not just throwing words in the air, Bucky. This is the truth.” You said, nodding your head with confidence.

Another tear fell from Bucky’s eyes at your words. It hurt him because he wanted to believe it. He wanted to convince himself of it so bad. But for some reason there was a part of him that wouldn’t let him. He would just keep feeling the guilt of it all. Part of him just wanted to blame that all on HYDRA too. But he knew that he had the power to change it. It would just take time. But today was a rough day. The sadness and guilt hit him harder than expected, to the point where he couldn’t fake it, so he had to take a break to let it all out. Which lead to you finding him in the bedroom. A big part of him was glad that you found him there and lent a listening ear to him but a small part of him couldn’t help but feel like he was putting a big load on you. Suddenly a wave of sadness overcame him once again, a million different thoughts running through his head. Why do I have to feel so negative? She’s just trying to help. Why am I being so dramatic? Stop being stubborn and accept the help. I’m probably bothering her. Only I’m strong enough to deal with this. Just let her help you. It hurts too much. Why am I thinking so much? Stop. Just- never mind. I don’t even know.

You stayed silent, patient to hear any response he had to give, just taking in his features. He looked so tired and broken. You couldn’t understand how you didn’t see right through his act. He was so good at it, you didn’t even think twice before going along with it. You felt so guilty that you didn’t take time to look beyond. Maybe you could have noticed something off about him sooner. Just maybe.

“I’m sorry you have to see me like this.” He started after a moment of silence. Your brows furrowed slightly. “I should have kept it-”

“No!” You whisper, holding his face in your hands, brushing his long hair away from his face. “No Bucky. Please, never apologize for feeling. Bucky, that’s what I’m here for. I’m here to comfort you.” You hum, your eyes tearing up a bit.

“But I’m supposed to be your happy boy. That’s who you love. That’s who I try to be.” Bucky smiled halfheartedly, his eyes drooping with sadness. You shook your head with a small smile.

“No. That’s not who I love. I love you, James. And I love everything that comes with you. Every little thing. I don’t want you to hide your emotions for me. I don’t need that. I want you to share what you feel so that I can be there to comfort you just like you’ve always comforted me. This isn’t a one-way relationship, Buck. We both have to give. Give me a chance to give.” You whispered, a pleading tone in your soft voice. You couldn’t stop the tear that fell from your eye as you spoke your next words. “I’m so sorry that you have to go through this every day and I wish I could tell you that everything is okay but I can’t. They took that from you.” You said, another tear slipping. “But I will always be here for you to help you push through one day at a time and cope with it. Never feel like I don’t have time or interest for your feelings, Bucky. And I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me. But I’m here.”

Bucky reached up to wipe the tear from your eye, you melting into his touch. “It’s not that, doll. I know you want to help me.” He sighed, slowly returning his gaze to your legs. “I guess it’s when I was being trained by HYDRA they just kinda taught me to never show weakness, and sort of deal with everything myself. It’s just become a habit I guess.” He shrugged sadly.

You looked into his sad, tears stained eyes. It would take some time, but you knew, that now that he had told you everything, with your help, they’d get through this. And that hope was all you both needed to keep pulling through. You smiled weakly and grabbed his face in your hands before landing several soft, short, but passionate kisses on his soft lips. “Well, I’m here for you Buck. Always.” You assured, earning a small smile from him.

Bucky brought a hand up to rub at his face, rubbing away tears and tiredness. “All this emotional stuff made me so tired.” He sighed, making you giggle lightly, his heart swelling at the sound of your laugh. He looked at you exhaustedly. “Can we take a nap? Me and you?” He pleaded. You smiled sweetly and nodded.

“Of course.” You hummed, sighing as he leaned back on the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you with him. You both layed there, chest to chest and his arms wrapped securely around you.

A moment of silence passes before Bucky closes his eyes, an neutral expression on his face, and sighs. “Thank you.” He whispers. A smile gradually grows on you and you hug Bucky closer to you.

“We’ll get through this, Buck. I promise. It might not ever completely go away, but...it’ll be easier to handle. And I promise I’ll always be there with you every step of the way.” You assured, letting your eyes close and drift off. Bucky’s smile grew at your words, as he finally felt at peace. Like he could finally rest without feeling that usual heavy pull at his heart. Maybe we can get through this. He thought. After that, sleep quickly overtook him and for the first time in years, he slept with only good thoughts in his mind. He wasn’t gonna have to fight this battle alone anymore.

And that felt good.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #avengers #marvel #marvel mcu #the winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #captain america #ticklish!reader #tickle fluff #marvel tickle #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter x reader #spiderman #steve rogers #mcu #sebastian stan

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yetanothergamingcouple · 3 years

Text

24 Hour Gaming Event

Better late than never. Here is our piece on the 24-hour gaming event we went to last September. There will be a post in the next couple of days explaining our silence but for now please enjoy our account of the event.

The awesome Rachel and James over at Bake Battle & Roll organised a mammoth 24-hour gaming event in aid of Sheffield Children’s Hospital. The event kicked off on Saturday 12th September 2020 at 14:00. Katie (occasional guest reviewer) and Kirsty’s mothership joined us for the first 2-hours, and we kicked it off with a couple of games of Side Effect. Katie won both games and the mothership was completely confused by it.

Next we tried a new game to us all, Chronicles of Crimes. Kirsty had been eyeing it up for a while and was excited to try it but was left a bit disappointed. The premise is good, but it was a bit awkward and clunky to play with 4 of us as we had to keep passing Kirsty’s phone around us all.

Kirsty forced the group to play one of her new games, Ghosts Love Candy, we didn’t quite play it right but Andy was surprised at how decent the game was. It’s a fun card drafting game with a cutesy spooky vibe. Kirsty absolutely destroyed the rest of us and won by 10 points.

The last game we played with Katie and the mothership was Cards Against Humanity. Katie had been wanting to play this for years but since she only turned 16 this year the answer has always been nooooo…until now! She was thoroughly disappointed in her crap cards and had to skip a turn to change her hand. As their time was coming to an end we decided to play to 5. It was a close game with us all having 4 wins, but Kirsty managed to steal the tie-breaker game…with rock, paper, scissors.

Kirsty’s mothership and Katie then said goodbye and we were left to fend for ourselves. Kirsty has had her eye on Arkham Horror which is a very heavy/complex board game and a fellow gamer, Chris, became very interested in playing with us and offered to help out. He showed us the basic game mechanic and rolls and we got stuck in to fighting the monsters and teleporting to the Netherworld. Between the three of us we beat the game and a great time was had by all. It’s definitely one that we’d like to buy, but we feel it’d be better with more players.

After such an intense game we felt like something lighter, so we broke out Fluttering Souls and took it easy for a while. It’s a light card drafting game that’s based on the Japanese legend of The White Butterfly. This is one of the games we own and brought with us. Andy won all of the games this time.

After a quick snack another player, Josh, came and asked to join us. Josh chose Side Effect, another game from our collection we brought with us, and we explained the rules to him quickly. As an avid board gamer, Josh picked up the rules easily and won many of the games we had together.

Next up was Everdell. This is a beautiful game with very tactile pieces and a large cardboard tree, which the Meeples of Bake Battle and Roll, James and Rachel, keep on display in a glass cabinet rather than deconstruct it after each play and stored in the game box. We setup the board and managed to read the rules but as this was a new game to both of us and a game of Monster of the Week was due to start we packed it away. We did intend on coming back and playing it later, but Monster of the Week ran over, and we never managed to go back to it.

Neither of us had heard of Monster of the Week let alone played it but it turned out to be a simpler Dungeons & Dragons with simple character creation and rolling. The Keeper (read as DM in Dungeons & Dragons) was Chris and we were playing as ghost detectives a la Scooby Doo. Andy was a street thug/gangster and Kirsty’s character was a mundane. Chris was an excellent Keeper and let us get away with lots of silliness in the name of fun. We gave the NPCs silly names like Mrs. Mister Brown (a drama teacher) and Jason Barson (The bartender’s son). Andy dealt the final blow to the boss ghost with a holy shotgun and we all cheered. Subsequently we have purchased the game book for this and hope to run our own campaigns with our friends.

After saving the world from evil-doers Andy headed over to the Switch to play Mario Kart while Kirsty played Dungeon Mayhem Monster Madness with the James, Rachel, Chris and Josh. James and Rachel had previously played the base game Dungeon Mayhem before so were familiar with the rules and both Chris and Josh picked them up quickly. Josh was the first to be knocked out quickly followed by Chris. It was a close as to who would win, James knocked out Rachel and then Kirsty knocked James out but there was only 2 HP in it.

Kirsty was very much peopled out by this point and decided to have some solo time while Andy played Dungeons and Dragons. This was a team battle royal. All players fighting against progressively harder monsters using pre-created characters. Andy chose a wizard and spent most of the time stood still casting spells galore. Some players were upset that there was no levelling in the event, but we had lots of fun. Everyone was getting pretty tired and James was struggling to run the game so we called it a day.

While Andy was still playing Dungeons and Dragons and once Kirsty had recovered a little she played a couple of games of Rhino Hero. It’s a relatively simple game premise but a lot of fun, especially when you are able to box other players in. You choose a superhero and build platforms with the aim of moving up to the top. You have to roll the dice to see if you move or down, and if so how many levels, or stay where you are. If you are on the same level as another superhero you have to battle to determine who remains there and who moves down. An added complication is the need to hang monkeys from some of the platforms. They are tricky to attach and often fall off when adding new platforms.

We had a small break with some food and coffees and was invited to a game of Talisman. A large game which took a while to play. Players have to work their way from the outside of the game towards the centre. Fighting monsters and trying to find a talisman in order to progress. There were a few laughs and people being turned into toads which raised a lot of laughs. Kirsty fought off all the opposition to claim the victory and we all concluded it was a fun game but not a good game.

Kirsty was very excited to see Bake Battle and Roll had Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas board game in. It’s a very basic game that leaves a lot to be desired. We decided to pack it away mid-game in favour of a bacon sandwich. It had so much potential, but it just fell short.

After a quick run to a nearby café to grab some bacon and egg sandwiches Andy invited Chris to play Space Crusade. He’d been excited about it since the start and didn’t want to disappoint him. This was a quick run of the mission Seek and Destroy and some rule bending to make the game fun. The game ended in a firefight between the Dreadnought, Chris’ Commander, and his plasma gun Marine. With the Dreadnought closing in on him, Chris managed to destroy his enemy and claim the victory. Andy was happy to have killed some of Chris’ Marines and shows that the alien player can win too.

While Andy was playing Space Crusade, Kirsty played Disney Colour Brain with Rachel and Em. You have eleven cards in your hand and one or a combination of cards will answer the question. Getting it right is only half of the battle to scoring a point you need the other players/teams to get it wrong to walk off with the points. It was simple and mind-numbingly easy to grasp but highlighted Kirsty’s need to watch more Disney-Pixar films. Kirsty just managed to scrape a win before moving on to a game of Red Panda. The aim of the game is to get rid of all your cards or be the last player standing. The graphics are super cute and colourful. It’s very much a luck-based game and although it’s clearly a game aimed at children and families it’s a nice filler game for adults.

As exhaustion was finally settling in we opted to play games we were familiar with and cracked out Side Effects again. We played two games with each of us claiming a victory before moving on to Fluxx. It’s been a while since we played the physical copy of Fluxx as we’ve got into the habit of playing it on our phones. Neither one of us can recall just how many games of Fluxx we played nor even who won. Sleep deprivation really took out Kirsty’s competitive nature. After Fluxx we went back to Fluttering Souls, once again neither one of us remembers who won.

We decided we’d see if we could use sleep deprivation to our advantage and tap into some psychic ability to play The Mind. Andy didn’t have high hopes for success and Kirsty was unsure she could count to 2 let alone 100 but we still tried. We’re still unsure what dark magic was afoot but somehow, we managed to reach and complete level 12 with 2 lives remaining. It was as if we were thinking as one.

Being on a high from the win of The Mind we thought we could successfully take on Forbidden Dessert. Oh how wrong were we. We started well, got everything set up and a strategy of who was going where. That quickly went downhill as Andy started to move Kirsty’s pawn and Kirsty kept getting confused by which way the wind blew. All in all it was a disaster and we soon realised we weren’t in a fit state to play Forbidden Dessert so we packed it away.

Andy was a little amazed that Kirsty had never played Dobble before and decided it was due time she did. We played all 5 variants of Dobble in the rule book before Chris wondered over to join us. We played 3 more games of Dobble with Chris before moving on to our final game of the 24-hour event, Sushi Go! Chris hadn’t play Sushi Go! before so we invited him to join us. Andy quickly explained the rules and our final game was underway. Chris picked the rules up well and if not for having the least amount of puddings would have come in 2nd, Andy thought he had the most with 3 but unfortunately for him Kirsty had been squirreling them away and had 4. Andy did manage to win this game though by 3 points.

The 24-hour gaming event was brought to an end with the raffle draw. Between us we came away with a £30 voucher for Punch Menswear in Doncaster, Men’s hair products from Anarchy Hair Salon,

2 Reaper miniatures and 2 hand-made cotton cloths. Kirsty did also win a Big Potato plushie but gave it to the raffle drawer as he seemed disappointed his dad didn’t win it.

It took Andy a couple of days to recover and get his sleep pattern back to normal and Kirsty was just about recovered a week later. It was a fantastic experience with some truly amazing people and games. We would definitely be up for repeating the experience…Kirsty would just need to book a week off work to recover.

A huge thank you to everyone that donated and sent messages of encouragement. When Rachel and James first started they wanted to raise £1000, between donations, sponsorship and raffle tickets they’ve managed to raise £2245. A massive congratulations to both of them for organising such an amazing and successful event.

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bethgreeneishopeunseen · 4 years

Note

Do you think Caryl might happen now that you think Beth won’t be back until the end of the series?

When I mentioned Beth returning at the end of the series, that wasn’t a prediction of any sort, it was a wish. I think that TPTB originally intended to bring Beth back, which included that missing footage from season 5, but something might have changed off screen that led them to nix the storyline. So Beth’s survival is possible, we just might never see it. In regards to Caryl, I don’t think it would happen for several reasons.

For one thing, Norman has opposed it as a romantic pairing for years. (The earliest source I could find dates back to March 2012.) He’s mentioned in interviews that he has spoken with producers and writers on this topic, steering them away from a Caryl-romance when it’s been brought up. He has described Caryl as a platonic bond, often like siblings, and that goes back to March 2013, months before Bethyl first hugged onscreen. Melissa McBride also has described them this way. Example quotes included below:

https://bethgreeneishopeunseen.tumblr.com/post/612432610793275392/robert-hurst-commented-on-the-video-of-car0l-and

Daryl saved Carol during the zombie attack on the farm in true superhero style, sweeping her away on his chopper. Will love finally bloom?

Not if Norman Reedus can help it! The fan fave who plays Daryl hopes things stay platonic, though he adores working with Melissa McBride. “I’ve fought against having C@rol and Daryl hook up because there’s already too many of us doing it on this show,” says Reedus. “It’s more interesting to see these two damaged people gravitating to each other, needing each other’s friendship. But I gotta admit it would be hysterical watching Daryl put on a bunch of deodorant before he goes in for his first kiss.”

—Norman Reedus; March 23rd, 2012; TV Insider (x)

ETonline: Fans obviously love Daryl and C@rol – will we see any developments in their relationship this week? Does she try to soften his facade?

Reedus: Is she like an emotional roofie? [laughs] It’s there, but I think their bond is so much deeper than “stick your tongue in my mouth.” I like playing that and am glad the writers agree because it’s so awkward when boys meet girls, girls meet boys or boys meet boys, and they want to hook up. But this is a whole different set of uncomfortable rules. They love each other on a different level – it’s not about wanting to get together, it’s more like a sibling relationship. “If you hurt my sister, there’s nowhere you’ll be able to hide.” It’s an impenetrable bond. I know people want them together, but if that happens, I think it’ll be more epic than, “They did it!”

—Norman Reedus; March 29th, 2013; ETonline (x)

“There is a part of me that sees them both when they are with another as sort of a wounded child,” McBride said. “It’s like sometimes I see them when they joke together, or they’re happy together, or they’re sharing smokes together, or arguing together, being nit-picky together. I just see like Daryl could have reverted to that wounded child on the porch at the reunion, and I sometimes I see C@rol the same way, like a little girl almost, younger. […] “I think it is they’re wounded children, really get one another,” McBride said. “I don’t see her becoming a mother to him at all. I see her becoming that wounded friend.”

—Melissa McBride; September 5th, 2017; comic book.com (x) (x)

Though I haven’t watched the show since the beginning of season 8, I’ve picked stuff up from osmosis and basic research. From what I’ve gathered, Carol is on the warpath after her son’s murder, and she also recently left Ezekiel. She’s not in the headspace for a romance.

In addition, Norman has said for years that once Daryl falls in love, that will be it. Daryl loves for life like a wolf or an eagle. And multiple people related to the show have said that Daryl and Beth fell in love, or at the very least were on the brink of a romance. There’s also all of the romantic imagery, tropes, and music related to Bethyl.

https://bethgreeneishopeunseen.tumblr.com/post/188834464866/i-like-all-the-awkward-things-in-between-that

“I like playing these awkward moments in between that build relationships. I don’t ever want to play that character that grabs the girl and has my way with her. That’s just not who that character is. If Daryl falls in love with you, he’s going to love you for the rest of his life.”

—Norman Reedus; October 10th, 2013 (X).

“I think if he’s going to zero in on one, it’s going to happen by accident, and he’s not going to be the one zeroing in first. Then he’ll just stay with her. I think he’s like an eagle — once they start flying together, they’ll always fly together.”

– Norman Reedus, Entertainment Weekly’s Sirius radio show; February 10th, 2015 (x) (x)

Thanks to Beth, Daryl closes the book on his past. How will this free him up emotionally now? He’s definitely moving in the right direction now. He’s interesting in that he’s very guarded and very loyal. Once he breaks that wall down with someone, he’s loyal forever. Especially with Beth in this episode: she means a lot to him and took time to get to know him and open up to him and that got him to open up. It created a stronger bond between these two. He still thinks everyone else is dead and has little hope for the future, but Beth gave him a little light at the end of the tunnel and that means a lot to him.

Norman Reedus: The Hollywood Reporter; March 2nd, 2014

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/walking-dead-spoilers-norman-reedus-685083

Greg Nicotero’s thoughts on Alone at SDCC 2014:

When they pitched Season 4, they were talking about when the prison goes down and having Daryl and Beth be bunkered together. And it’s interesting because I get to see all the cuts and I see all the edits from the director’s cuts onward. And I loved the scene in the kitchen when they’re talking, and I got the sense that Daryl was starting to kind of fall in love with Beth a little.”

Emily’s thoughts on Bethyl for Insider October 2014:

“Last year, I definitely felt like there was a really special connection between Daryl and Beth that happened. My take on it was that there was a very deep growing connection that could become something more romantic or could become just … you know that was my personal understanding of it. I do feel like Beth has opened up to Daryl in a way that she hasn’t with other people and I do feel like Beth has never been really in love even though you’ve seen her with the two different boyfriends. I don’t think she’s ever been like, ‘grownup in love’ in the way that you feel like someone actually understands you and in sort of that special intimate way. And I do feel like she’s been closer to that with Daryl then with anyone else.”

Emily wrote ‘Last Chance’, a love song about Still, from Beth’s POV. Norman listened to ‘Nervous and Love’ while filming Still. He even wanted it to be the closing song for the episode. Daryl carried Beth’s knife on his person for more than a season, and in a 2018 Q&A, Norman confirmed that Daryl still had it. Bethyl developed into a romantic bond, period, and unless the narrative addresses Daryl’s grief, maybe letting him actually say her name, I don’t think he could move on from her. Daryl loved Beth and always will. No other Daryl-related romantic pairing would feel satisfying and in-character without closure, and even then, any pairing would contradict his monogamous nature.

https://bethgreeneishopeunseen.tumblr.com/tagged/bethyl-is-more-canon-than-romeo-and-juliet

But again, all my speculation is predicated on the writers having common sense and following through on their established story arcs, character histories, and Easter eggs.

#bethyl #asks #Anonymous #team delusional #daryl dixon

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chicagocityofclans · 3 years

Photo

Henry Dean → Shamier Anderson → Rat

→ Basic Information

Age: 78

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Born or Made: Born

Birthday: July 6th

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Religion: Deism

→ His Personality Henry has always excelled at falling in line. Not a true leader in his own right, but a solid dependable man at someone’s back. His skills lie in his ability to stay open minded, especially during tense and fraught situations. As a former field agent in Cincinnati for BAKER, Cincinnati’s version of BOND. He was also briefly on BOND, Henry was always able to think on his feet and look for alternatives that most others missed. He’s also open minded about the world around him. Henry isn’t one to hold grudges, evident by his willingness to join Clan Rat in Chicago, despite the deaths of many of his clan mates. He is flexible and willing to adapt to what he needs to. Flexibility and open mindedness aside, as the head of weapons for BOND, Henry is a frank and serious individual. He knows that he is responsible for the rats out on their own in BOND and does not take that lightly. Henry also tends to be frank and is unafraid to say exactly what he is thinking.

Despite his often professional and collected demeanor while at work, Henry transforms to a playful and romantic guy when he is out on a date. He likes flirting and teasing and finds much of his joy from hanging out with those he loves. Henry enjoys figuring out the perfect date, and showing his woman a good time. Henrietta drilled into his head how to treat a woman, and he busts out everything he knows to impress his date.

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Weapons Master for BOND

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Going on dates and Fireworks

Two Dislikes: Tomatoes and Science Fiction Movies and Books

Two Fears: Never being allowed in the field again and Having to start his life over in a different pack

Two Hobbies: Billiards and Swimming

Three Positive Traits: Playful, Open Minded, Romantic

Three Negative Traits: Sharp tongued, Self-Critical, Frank

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Peter Dean (Father): Peter was the 2nd of the Cincinnati Pack and one of the rats who fought against the Chicago Clan. He was killed during the invasion, having gone down fighting. It took Henry about a decade to truly come to a point of acceptance over his father’s death. They were never particularly close, but his death and the guilt Henry felt over joining the clan was something he has dealt with ever since.

Henrietta Dean (Mother): Henrietta left the Midwest entirely and moved to Georgia to be with Henry’s sister, Jean. She has always said she didn’t blame him or his brother for joining the clan, but she has never been up to visit him and they haven’t seen one another in about 4 years. Henry was the youngest of his siblings, and hung close to his mother for most of his childhood and teen years. The awkwardness of their relationship is a sore point for him, and even Max doesn’t know the full story there.

Sibling Names:

Joseph Dean (Brother): Joseph also resides in the Chicago Clan. He is an international member of BOND and was residing in Bordeaux for the past 15 years. He is coming back with the majority of BOND and Henry is excited to see him.

Jean Garland nee Dean (Sister): Jean moved away from Cincinnati when Henry was first starting BOND. She met and married a rat from Georgia, and moved down to join his clan. She convinced their mother to move down to her and leave the bad memories of Cincinnati behind. Jean has made comments to him and Joseph about their choices, making it clear she does not approve.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Maxine Vanes (Ex-Girlfriend): Max and Henry had known of each other for years. He wasn’t blind and clearly saw how attractive she was, but they never really had a chance to speak until about 5 years ago. There was some fluke with BOND and the two were pulled in to deal with the situation. They hit it off, and he asked her out for dinner at the end of the case. They dated for 3 years before he asked her to marry him and she replied no. Max wanted to continue their relationship but Henry decided it would be best to end things completely.

Platonic Connections:

Dakota English (Friend): Dakota has been hanging around his office a lot more since she lost her eye and was pulled off of active duty. At first her presence was confusing, then distracting. But he figured her out after a while; usually West was gone and apparently GOLD wasn’t holding enough of her attention. He has sympathy for her situation, and has been inviting her to help him clean and perform maintenance just to let her live a little bit of her old life.

West Freeman (Friend): West is a bit of a wild cannon in the field, but Henry can admit he has skills. He’s a great shot, and when he’s home he, West, and Dakota have taken to going target practicing. He’s closer to Dakota, but a friendship with West is something he’s willing to explore.

Jax Idris (Friendly): Henry likes Jax, they’ve gone out and grabbed drinks a few times, but like many of the rats he can be singularly focused. He wouldn’t be against more of a friendship, but knows the younger rat just doesn’t have time.

Sam Whitney (Coworker): Henry did some training with Sam before she was permanently stationed away, but they didn’t talk until after she was in London. She was not only an asset to BOND, but she was able to secure a new weapons source that had been alluding Henry.

Neaera Jayweed (Friend): Despite Henry never physically meeting Neaera, he considers her a friend. They began talking after she was recruited to BOND, and found a lot of similarities between their situations. Both had packs who were overtaken, both have brothers, and both have the same sense of humor. He is excited that she’s coming to the US.

Nick Hamelin (Boss): Despite the initial struggles he had to come to terms with when joining Chicago, Henry took a liking to Nick quickly. This came in handy especially when Carl Anderson outed him to 3 major hunter families. It made him unable to leave Chicago and basically destroyed any chance of his burgeoning BOND career. Nick went with Henry to kill Anderson’s wife and has been understanding of a situation most leaders wouldn’t be.

Ray Hamelin (Friend): Despite his initial dislike for Ray due to his overtaking his clan, he’s grown to respect and enjoy his company. He has a good balance of always being in the know and letting those on BOND follow their instincts.

Hostile Connections:

Rebecca Stone (Annoyance): There’s only 60 Stone members in Chicago at the moment. Why their buyer feels the need to snatch up nearly every weapon that filters through the blackmarket, he’ll never understand.

Carl Anderson (Pure Hatred): Carl outed him among a group of hunters that included the Sanchez, Garcia, and Jenkins families. His face is out there and it is generally unsafe for him to leave Chicago. He and Nick got their comeuppance however, when they cornered him and his wife on a hunting trip. They killed her, and explained what would happen to his children and grandchildren if he ever even spoke the word rat again. CAMO’s surveillance has ensured that he hasn’t, but Henry went and visited him in his retirement community to remind him what was at stake.

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

Shamier Anderson (Henry Dean) [1][2][3][4]

#Henry Dean #Shamier Anderson #open #OMR #OM #OMAS

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samwchster · 4 years

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( jared padalecki, 30, cismale, he/him ) Well if it isn’t SAM WINCHESTER. Rumor is that they’re a HUMAN from SUPERNATURAL and they found their way to Devil Hills, KS 15 DAYS AGO. They can be a bit SELF-DESTRUCTIVE& REBELLIOUS, but some of that is made up by their tendency to be SELFLESS & COMPASSIONATE. One of their top played songs is NOW AND THEN by ELIZA RICKMAN. Some sights and sounds that embody them are THE SMELL OF OLD BOOKS, A TATTOO ON HIS CHEST, A DEMON-KILLING KNIFE IN HIS POCKET, FINGERS PRESSING ON A SHAPELESS SCAR ON HIS LEFT HAND. Hopefully they pick the right side of things or stay out of the way.

__________________________

Samuel (William) Winchester was born on May 2nd 1983, to Mary Winchester and John Winchester. Being the younger of two (at the time), his brother Dean was only four years old, but had to take on the role of protective older brother sooner than anyone would have expected. On November 2nd, when Sam turned six months, tragedy struck after a demon killed Mary and set the baby’s nursery on fire. Baby Sam escaped thanks to Dean, who carried him outside and John. From that day on, everything changed. Their father, took upon him to avenge the death of his wife and became a hunter (and one of the very best at that). His obsession took a toll on the brothers and while Dean, obediently followed dad’s orders, Sam was always rebellious of his plans, often clashing with him, unable to follow blindly. He was 9 when dad gave him his first gun; only twelve when he started hunting and once he reached the age of 18, he wanted to be normal and live a regular life. After a huge falling out with John, Sam left for college. With an incredible score on the LSAT and a full-ride to Stanford, he didn’t look back. Until a couple years later, when Dean came knocking on his door after their father’s disappearance.

Everything has been a blur ever since and he stopped counting the years once he realised there was no going back. Death followed him everywhere he went and when demons killed his girlfriend just to ‘keep him on the right track’, he knew there was no going back. He fell through the rabbit hole, followed his desire for revenge like his father did, but even after dad sacrificed himself and even after Dean killed Azazel, the yellow-eyed demon, evil never stopped.

THE BOY WITH THE DEMON BLOOD;

As if destiny decided to pull a prank on him, he realised there was a much bigger picture and a much more devious plan behind everything. Azazel’s plans for Sam unfolded when he found out the demon had given him his blood as a baby. In time, the demon blood in him started changing him; giving him psychic abilities and darker thoughts. With every action he stepped closer to the edge of a cliff and when he took the final step, he unknowingly freed Lucifer from its cage. With the devil walking the earth, the apocalypse started and angels and demons fought for power over each other. His guilt ate him up and nearly broke the bond he had with his brother, but he managed to atone for his wrongdoings when he became Lucifer’s vessel and held him inside long enough to open his cage. Jumping in with Lucifer inside of him and the idea of being trapped with the devil in its cage for eternity seemed like a small price to pay.

Nonetheless, fate had him saved - yet again - after the angel Castiel pulled him out of the cage and later on Death, the black horseman itself, gave him his broken and tortured soul back. The mental and psychological damage was permanent though and those mental scars will remain with him forever, no matter how many times his body is put back together. He has died, countless times, he lost his soul, he was tortured for hundreds of years in hell by the devil itself and yet, here he is, still.

This time, he really thought they were onto something. Finding a way to shut the gates of hell forever seemed too good to be true but thanks to Kevin and his translation of the trials, there was hope. Ever since the first trial, when he killed that hellhound and felt himself change day after day, Sam never thought about quitting. Even after the second trial weakened him beyond belief; even during the third trial, when he could have actually died. He was ready for it and fully at peace with his choice if it meant that everyone could be saved and the world would be at peace. And yet, in true Winchester fashion, things went awry. With Crowley escaping and opening a gate to hell, freeing every demon and every monster in purgatory along with Metatron and his megalomaniac ideas, casting every single angel out of heaven, he feels like he broke the world again. It doesn’t matter how many times people tell him he was doing the right thing, he still knows he failed and now, another apocalypse is upon them.

Currently, Sam is severely weakened after completing two trials and half of the third. Rest alone seems to be a slow solution that is not agreeing with him, especially because he insists in going out to hunt nonetheless now that every monster seems to be roaming around. He hasn’t seen Castiel in two weeks, but he has heard word of the falling angels and has been trying to reach him -- with no luck so far. Dean has been trying to keep Sam in the Man of Letters bunker and get him to heal, but he’s not been successful so far, so both of them have been taking cases and hunting as much as they can.

PERSONALITY:

More than anything, Sam takes things to heart. He’s the more sensitive out of the two brothers and definitely the one who expresses himself more. When it comes to talking feelings, Sam has no problem admitting his short-comings and blatantly say how he feels. As for asking for help when it comes to solve those problems, now that’s a different story. In his head, he needs to figure things himself, heal himself when he’s hurting and tend to his psychological wounds. It’s mostly because he doesn’t want to burden anyone nor worry them more than necessary, so he’ll deal. Sam is selfless despite having had moments of weakness. As he is now, he is the first to admit that he screwed up pretty bad more than once, but he’s trying his best. He is loyal, caring and loving; so much so that he has trouble letting go of people who have yet to leave his heart despite not being physically in this world anymore. He has a tendency to blame himself if he doesn’t let people know what he feels, for fear that he might lose them before they know they are important to him. Sometimes hidden, the little Sam that idealised something better and the Sam that still hopes and believes is still much alive in him. All and all, he just wants to protect those he loves and save as many people as he can.

CONNECTIONS:

family-wise, his brother Dean; (maybe even John and Mary now that souls are rampant) and I would die if anyone brings me a Henry Winchester (the real OG let’s be real) and Adam. Give me Bobby, give me Abaddon!!, Crowley and Lucifer (how much torture is enough torture here, poor Sammy); bring Castiel and Gabriel, Donna, Jody, Charlie! and Sully!!! (sam’s imaginary friend from childhood), anyone from the Roadhouse ... bring everyone honestly, Sam has connections to every-single-person in the spn verse but he’s super open to anyone outside of it and all the OC’s; this boy is an easy one to establish things with. gimme all the plots tbh.

#dh;intro #❝ i'm a whole new level of freak「 about 」#i tried to summarise this as much as possible but... THAT still happened #i'll add a page with bulletpoints or a chrolological timeline to his blog later for faster reading but yeah shortening sam's life events #is near-impossible

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nad-zeta · 4 years

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Okay, I'm SO curious who you'd match me with (if you don't have time for that, it's fine tho 😊) I'm outspoken and headstrong if I'm convinced to do the right thing, but also emphatic and try to help everyone. I believe in karma, so try to be kind to people. I'm often impatient, but never with people who try their best. I regularly want to do seven things at once and end up doing none, but most of the time I try to stick to the plan. I'm not really romantic, but see love in the little things. 😊

Hi, there love! I always have time to do a match up for ya!<3 Thanx so much for the request! sorry for taking soooo long lol! I hope you enjoy!

Hehe, I had some difficulty with your matchup cause I could easily see you with most of the warlords… but finally, I made a decision!

So I match you with..................... Ieyasu

Wow you were an outspoken firecracker when you first arrived. You definitely didn’t take the warlords shit! Although in saying that even though you were a strong-willed, determined woman, you were also incredibly gentle and kind. That firecracker in you only really came out when you were threatened or had to stand up for your beliefs. After made sure Nobunaga understood that you were not to be treated like some toy or object, you reverted to your crazy sweet, kind state. You reminded them all so much of a 2nd Mitsunari. An angel in disguise. You were loving and compassionate towards everyone, even Hideyoshi stopped suspecting you after seeing how hard you were working and what a sweetie pie you were.

Ieyasu would often pull his face at your pure, innocent naivety; he didn’t need another Mitsunari making his life difficult. He would usually roll his eyes whenever you and Mitsunari would beam at each other and talk about your days. Although you quickly came to realize his contradictory ways, as he would always whisper explanations of complicated war jargon to you during war councils, because quote on quote, “your clueless expression can be seen from a mile away.” Or he would even bring you food to eat during banquets because “a weakling like you would faint in a second if you don’t eat a proper meal.” After that, you made up your mind that there was more to this sulky boy than meets the eye.

On day Nobunaga declared that you, Masamune, and Ieyasu were to join him in settling a dispute in a neighboring region. Naturally, you rode with Ieyasu because if you were to ride with Masamune, the two of you may get lost and cause more trouble for him. Ieyasu held you gently in his arms, going at a slow, steady pace to ensure maximum comfort, although he would never admit to doing that.

You guys discovered that the local daimyo of the region was overtaxing his people to the point of starvation as he would take their all their crops as payment as well as any money they made from selling what little they had left. In addition, the daimyo had switched loyalties, so this was a trap to lure Nobunaga out and assassinate him while trying to settle the dispute. You, Masa, Nobunaga, and Ieyasu were heavily outnumbered, as the daimyos goons started filing into the room ready to kill you guys. You honestly felt sick to your stomach at the way this man was using and abusing the people he was put in charge of. As the fight broke out and continued, you spotted the daimyo trying to sneak away in the chaos. It was now time for your fight or flight instincts to kick in, and you chose to fight. You ran out the door to follow him, dodging all the weapons flying through the air. Out the corner of his eye, Yasu spotted you chasing after the daimyo and swiftly fought his way through the room to follow you. You ran as fast as you could down the hallway to catch up to the guy. Once he was within arm’s reach, you threw yourself to the ground, grabbing hold of his legs in a tackle. Unfortunately, you had forgotten everyone had carried weapons in the past. The man was twice your size, and his attention was now entirely on you. The two of you wrestled for a while until he drew his sword. Things were looking pretty grim for you. He drew his sword high in the air, intending to deliver a final blow to end your life when it was blocked by non-other than the porcupine boy himself. At this point, all his goons had been defeated, and it was just the daimyo left. You were still on the floor and decided to help Yasu out by kicking the man’s knees in, causing him to tumble to the ground allowing Yasu to knock him out. You let out a sigh of relief at finally being safe. Emerald eyes full of anger was now turned on you “Silly girl, what were you thinking tackling a guy twice your size to the ground, do you have a death wish or something,” You stated that you couldn’t just stand by and watch that sleazy guy get away from inflicting so much pain and hurt on other. You had only acted on instinct. Before things got too heated, Masamune defused the situation by complimenting the brave lass on saving the day. He walked you out of the room and gave you a ride back

That night an unexpected guest knocked on your door. Yasu let himself in. You were shocked; you kind of low key thought he really disliked you, especially by the way he was calling you weak and stupid for 20mins after talking down that asshole. He sat down gently in front of you and gave you a salve for your hands and legs, cause during your little wrestling match with the daimyo you got a few scratches and bruises. You were double shook, especially when he wore such a gentle expression. He apologized for what he said, all while stuttering and being as red as a tomato. He stated that he wasn’t angry, just worried about what could have happened if he wasn’t there to protect you. At the end of his little apology, he admitted he was wrong for calling you weak because he had never seen a woman so headstrong in his life before, much less take down a man twice her size without a second thought. He gave you a small head pat hoping to convey his feelings and left. And so, your friendship started.

In the weeks that followed, he took it upon himself to teach you some self-defense in the form of archery. He definitely didn’t choose to teach you this so that he can hold you in his arms while guiding you to fire an arrow or anything. The two of you actually got to get to know each other a bit better through these lessons. You, for one, had come to see the real Yasu, a gentle kind spirit. You fell in love with him a little during these lessons. Often after these lessons, he would invite you over for some tea, obviously, under the pretense of you needing to rehydrate; otherwise, you are going to cause problems for him if you fainted from dehydration. During one of these tea dates, you even got to meet the little fawn. Better yet, Ieyasu gave you a basket full of veg to feed the little deer by hand, your heart was won.

One day you were busy carrying some books back to the archive when you spotted Ieyasu. You called out to him so the two of you could walk together cause you noticed he was headed in the same direction. Your clumsiness decided to strike you and that very moment, as you tripped on the flat ground. You had braced yourself for the pain of hitting the floor only to land onto something soft…. Ieyasu. Both of you were now nose to nose. Yasu’s heart was beating out of his chest, and honestly, both of your faces couldn’t be any redder. You helped him up while apologizing profusely only to be met with not a scold but him laughing. You were so confused even more, so when he let it slip that, only he could fall in love with a clumsy girl like you. When that statement slipped from his mouth, his eyes went wide at the realization, and he covered his mouth with both his hands. You just smiled and grabbed hold of both his hands, pulling them down so you could give him a small kiss. You just looked at his utterly shocked expression, gave him the biggest smile, said “me too,” and continued on route to the archive. And that my friend is how your relationship started.

Both of you weren’t really big on romance, but you did show your love for each other with little gestures. Yasu also opened up completely to you during this time about everything. Especially about his past and how weak and defenseless he sometimes felt. You just accepted this softie boi with open arms. You told him your beliefs on karma and that all those who had caused him pain in the past would have to answer for their cruelties eventually. He thought he must have had some crazy good karma to have found and be loved by someone as beautifully wonderful as you. The two of you loved to spend time together cuddling and nuzzling each other. Hugging Ieyasu was like embracing a big soft cloud, it was so sweet and warm. He loved giving you little Eskimo and butterfly kisses to show his affection. His kisses were soft like a whisper and as sweet as candy. You loved it when the two of you would spend your breaks together, just playing outside with wasabi or chilling under a shady tree. Or even when he would surprise you with some homemade rice balls for the two of you to share in the garden. The two of you could often be found snuggled up together, reading while sipping on some tea in the warm summer sun.

Other potential matches.............Masamune or even Nobunaga

I hope you enjoyed it! and thanx again for the request! ^0^

#ikemen sengoku ieyasu #ikesen ieyasu #ieyasu tokugawa #ikemen ieyasu #tokugawa ieyasu #ieyasu matchup #ikesen matchup #ikemen matchup #ikemen sengoku matchup #matchups

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