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void-of-unparalled-chaos · 6 days

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Slap a Bow on It

"Contrary to popular belief, Danny wasn’t stupid. He could be a bit oblivious, but he always got there in the end. So when Danny woke up the next morning and realized that last night wasn’t a dream, he had an epiphany. He was being courted by the super hot and apparently undead crime lord who ran the haunt on the other side of the street."

@deadonmayn Day 1: Courting Rituals | Flickering | Dinner is interrupted by a rogue/gang fight | "Are they gone yet?"

TW: Danny is thirsty as hell, mentions/allusions to nsfw but nothing explicit

AO3 Link

Danny blinked.

He could only assume that the crime lord, illuminated purely by the light of the fridge in the otherwise dark apartment, blinked back. The helmet didn't give anything away, red plating and slanted eye whites impassive. Good for being sexy menacing. Not so good for reading emotions.

Danny blinked again, wiping the rheum from his eyes with pinched fingers. He squinted once more at Red Hood, who for some reason was in his apartment at - Danny glanced at the clock - three in the morning. He seemed perfectly content to be digging through Danny’s fridge, if a little sheepish at being caught.

He should probably be more angry that his apartment was broken into. He absolutely was when he first woke to the uncomfortable feeling of an uninvited guest in his lair, but after seeing the vigilante’s arms laden with food his metaphorical hackles relaxed. The apartment was shitty anyway.

If anything, Danny was confused as to why he was here judging his fridge’s contents and playing Tetris with tupperware. It wasn’t like they knew each other.

Danny blinked a third time just to really make sure he was seeing what he was seeing, "...Hi?"

"Hey," Red Hood unfroze, seemingly recovered from being caught, and resumed stuffing what looked like a container of tamales into his fridge.

Danny couldn’t help but feel sullen at the dismissal. He'd woken up only for the admittedly hot trespasser with thick thighs to barely glance at him. Unacceptable.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Danny must have been momentarily possessed by the ghost of Midwestern manners with how urgent the offer seemed.

"Nah," Red Hood stuffed another container into the fridge, turning to look back at Danny, "You don't have any allergies, do you?"

"Nah."

Red Hood nodded, pulling out a bag of rotten lettuce. He held it away from himself like it might try to bite him. In Danny’s experience, it very well could.

“Do you ever clean out your fridge?”

Danny shrugged, “It’s finals week. I’ve got to keep my GPA above 3.5 if I want to keep my scholarship. No chores. Only study.”

Red Hood nodded solemnly as he threw the lettuce into the trash, “No chores. Only study.”

They fell into silence. Danny watched as the crime lord sifted through his fridge, pulling out rotten food as he went. “Is this because I decked that mugger? Cause’ he deserved it.”

Red Hood very pointedly threw the expired milk carton into the trash can.

“Okay then…” Danny yawned, “Well if that's all I’m going back to bed.”

“Kay.”

Danny shrugged, turned on his heel, and left the crime lord to rifle through his kitchen.

___👻___

When Danny awoke the next day, he was greeted by a clean apartment. The absence of crumbs on the freshly swept floor felt odd on his feet, although it was certainly much more pleasant. The trash had been taken out and a new bag had already been installed. He passed by the sink on the way to make coffee, the dishes that had been filling it suspiciously absent.

Danny would deny to the ancients and back that his knees went weak when he found the coffee maker already set and filled with grounds... his sister must never know.

As he waited for the cup to brew, he opened his fridge for creamer only to come face to face with more home cooked food than he’d ever seen in his life. Danny pulled the food out plastic container by plastic container to stare at in disbelief. Tamales, chicken mole, Mexican rice, enchiladas, and carne asada… It was only a handful of containers, but still. It wasn’t as if his parents had done much in the way of cooking with all their time spent in the lab. Jazz could throw together something basic but nothing like this.

The local hot crime lord slash vigilante had broken in at three in the morning to feed him and clean his apartment. Huh.

No time to think about that. He has a final on differential equations in five hours and minimal time to cram. Danny stirs the creamer into his coffee, heats up some Mexican rice, and sits down at the untouched mess of notebooks, paper, and textbooks on his kitchen table.

He studies until he has to leave for the exam, only getting up to refill his coffee and get more food. The tamales are pretty fricken good, but they make it hard to focus on the numbers scribbled across his notebook. It’s like each bite is urging him to go back into the kitchen and cook, which is odd considering that Danny can’t cook and he already has enough food to last him through the next day or two (courtesy of the sexy crime lord).

He leaves the exam room feeling good only for his mood to immediately crumble when he remembers that he has an aerodynamics final at eight the next morning followed by gasdynamics at one. He takes a brief break to faceplant on the table, scream, refill his coffee for the umpteenth time, and eat some more food but inevitably resigns himself to pulling an all-nighter. Time becomes liquid after that. It’s all just a blur of numbers and properties and instructional videos.

At some point, he registers another presence in the apartment. Danny recognizes the ecto signature from the night before so he pays it no mind. Let Hood poke around, Danny has to read more about Newton’s Third Law. What was he going to do? Feed him again?

The answer was apparently yes.

The background noise of shuffling in the fridge and washing empty containers stops and is replaced by soft, mechanical-sounding breaths. Hood is standing next to him, plastic container in hand as he watches Danny run through the Quizlet on his laptop.

Danny’s got around eighty percent of the terms memorized. Just another twenty percent to go. He types in the answer for a new blank.

Red Hood pokes his shoulder.

Danny grumbles. His response came back wrong.

His shoulder is poked again.

Danny ignores it and moves on to the next blank.

He continues unbothered for an uncertain amount of time. The words on the screen are blurry like he is trying to read underwater. His mouth splits into an entirely too wide, jaw-cracking yawn. His uninvited guest coos at him as Danny rubs at his eyes. The next thing he knows, his laptop is shut closed and moved away. It feels like any and all visual processing is delayed. Danny stares blankly at the spot the computer used to sit.

Something slides in front of him to replace the laptop. His core chirps when he realizes it's food. Hood’s answering chirp as he guides a fork into his hand is deep and rumbly with the faint stutterings of a purr. Danny starts to purr in return as he sleepily munches on the casserole.

Before long the empty plate is taken away. Danny slumps down on the newfound table space and tries to fight off sleep.

“I think it's time for you to go to bed.”

“Noooooo! I’v gotta study fr' aero’namics.”

“You’re slurring your words there, handsome.”

Danny’s sleep-deprived brain screeched to a halt. His core chirped to attention, “Flat’ry ain’t gettin’ you nowhere.”

“It was worth a shot.”

Danny smushed his face further into the wood to hide his blush and distracted himself by blindly reaching for his coffee mug. Upon noticing, the vigilante moved it out of reach. Danny whined into the table.

“You can’t overwork yourself like this, Danny,” Red Hood carried the mug to the sink and poured it down the drain. Cruel, cruel man. “I know you’ve got exams but your scores won’t be any good if you go into them like this. You've got to take care of yourself,” He lightly squeezed Danny’s shoulder. Danny hadn’t even heard him move across the kitchen. “Can you do that, darlin’? For me?”

Danny groaned, “F’ne. But only cause’ ur hot.”

The vigilante snorted. It sounded odd through the helmet but not bad. “I’m happy to hear it! Now let's get you to bed.”

___👻___

Contrary to popular belief, Danny wasn’t stupid.

He had been helping his parents in the lab since he was four, and he was nearly a straight-A student before the accident. He was an aerospace engineering major with a hefty GPA of 3.8, and most importantly, he’s had extensive lessons on ghosts, the Infinite Realms, and their culture.

He could be a bit oblivious, but he always got there in the end.

So when Danny woke up the next morning and realized that last night wasn’t a dream, he had an epiphany. The thought kept running through his head as he stared at the food in the fridge, the clean apartment, and the prepped coffee maker.

He was being courted.

He was being courted by the super hot and apparently undead crime lord who ran the haunt on the other side of the street.

Danny had never been courted before!

Sure, occasionally there was someone who tried to shoot their shot, but it always fell flat in the end. It was an unfortunate side effect of being undead. Every human relationship he had felt… lacking. Like it was missing something.

Val had come pretty close. All the fighting and shooting felt like a mimicry of ghostly courtship behavior. It's what had drawn Danny to her in the first place, but Val wasn’t fighting him in a display of power and capability. She had genuinely wanted to end him.

There was also the incident with Kitty, but she was overshadowing Paulina and mimicking human behaviors. There was never any ghostly courtship involved, and besides, she was only dating him to make Johnny jealous.

This is Danny’s first time being properly courted!

What is he going to do about it?

He decided that the question could wait until after finals.

The next few days pass by much the same as before: a tortuous cycle of studying, caffeine, minimal sleep, screaming, and exams. Red Hood continues to stop by and deliver food. Danny has got to figure out the dude’s actual name or a nickname or something. He refuses to keep calling his potential partner Red Hood. When you take away the scary crime lord persona it just sounds like a condom brand. He could always use a pet name, but it feels wrong given that Danny hasn’t shown much reciprocation outside of allowing Hood into his lair. Instead, Danny settles on greeting him with a trill and a series of chirps.

As soon as he finishes his last final he flops face down into bed. Tomorrow he’ll get to work on reciprocating Red Hood’s efforts. His kitchen is blessedly clean of any ecto contamination. Without the food fighting back, he should be able to whip up something presentable. How hard could following a recipe be?

___👻___

Danny was wrong.

Staring at the stove which was somehow on fire, Danny couldn’t help but finally understand why Jazz had never allowed him in the kitchen. He quickly rushes to turn off the heat. Danny doesn’t have a fire extinguisher. He’s a broke college student with just enough money to live on the outskirts of Crime Alley. Why would he ever be able to afford a fire extinguisher?

Danny slams a lid over the pot to smother the flames erupting from it and wacks the stovetop with a damp towel. As the fire dies down he glares at the somehow burnt gnocchi sitting ever so innocently in boiling water. He probably could have just iced it. The ice would melt into water and put out the fire, right?

He takes another look at the ruined food as the bubbles die down and decides he’s probably just cursed. Not all hope is lost though, Danny reasons as he dumps the ruined gnocchi down the garbage disposal. So Italian cuisine was not his forte. That’s okay! He’ll just try a different recipe!

___👻___

The recipe said quick and easy.

This was neither quick nor easy.

He dumped the carbonized remains of food into the trash with a sigh. It was French toast! How could someone go so wrong with French toast? The kitchen looked like something had exploded in it for ancients’ sake!

Danny thunked his head onto the counter, uncaring of the milk and eggs coating it. An entire loaf of bread gone and not a single edible piece of toast to show for it! He groaned. Maybe he just… wasn’t cut out for this whole courting thing.

Dejectedly, he lifted his head and began to wipe down the counter with paper towels. He really liked Hood.

He was funny! While he mostly left Danny alone during his study sessions, Danny had seen the viral videos. Hood knew how to crack a good death joke, and the compilations of him ragging on Batman were something to aspire to.

He cared for people! The sponsored soup kitchens and homeless programs were an open secret in Crime Alley, and the working girls were paid well. The street kids knew they were safe in the Alley because anyone who tried to touch them would end up with their head in a duffle bag. Red Hood protected them.

And ancients was he hot! Thick thighs for days and strong arms that could probably lift Danny like a couple of grapes. Danny wouldn’t mind being thrown around by a guy like that. He would happily let him pin him to a wall and box him in and then Danny could sink his fangs into his shoulder and then-

Okay! Stop! Too far! That’s awfully ambitious for someone who can’t even cook a proper courting gift. Think, Danny, Think!

Okay… okay. So he can’t cook. That’s fine because Danny can build. He’s been building things since he was practically a toddler. He can make something easy peasy!

What about a gun? Red Hood seemed to like guns. Danny’s core purred at the idea. If he had to guess, the vigilante had a protection obsession of some sort. A gun was something that could protect Red Hood but also be used to protect others in his haunt and directly feed into his obsession. Yes! The gun idea was good.

But then again, Hood had been working with Batman more and more frequently, and with that had been using guns less and less. How often could the gun be used? No, no. This courting gift should be usable in all scenarios.

What about a knife? Yes! A knife could work! As far as Danny knew, Batman didn't have anything against knives. Surely a knife paled in comparison to Robin's katana. A knife was sneaky and quiet, good for stealth missions unlike a gun, and easier to carry for everyday use.

Danny hummed, nodding to himself. He’d do the knife first and save the gun for later. He was going to need supplies.

Danny wiped the dripping egg away from his forehead before it could get into his eyes. But first, he was going to need a shower.

___👻___

So…

It could’ve gone worse.

Despite basically being raised reverse-engineering his parents’ inventions, Danny had never tried to make a knife. He could gut a microwave from the local back alley dumpster and Macgyver it into a functioning weapon, but building a makeshift forge on short notice and hammering steel down into a smooth curve was a whole different ballpark. Luckily the local trade school had a forge, and after some good old-fashioned bribery, they allowed Danny access. That was the first problem out of the way. Unfortunately, the second problem remained. It was fine. Danny was used to thinking on his feet.

After many YouTube videos and failed attempts Danny had a somewhat presentable blade. With a saw edge on the top and a sharp curve similar to a khukuri on the bottom, it certainly didn’t look like a beginner's design.

He probably shouldn’t have skipped straight to a more advanced shape. Danny hadn’t managed to fix the slight warp of the blade, and maybe the practice beforehand would have done him some good. Regardless, it was too late to fix it after the ecto wash, and he didn’t think the warp would affect the performance too negatively. Besides, with the ectoplasm infused into it the knife should cut through ghosts with no problem.

Danny had spent entirely too long trying to find the perfect shade of red leather for the handle, but in the end, he accurately matched it to Red Hood’s helmet. He had wanted to incorporate some protective runes into the leather, but he had no idea how to make a lasting pattern that wouldn’t affect the user’s comfort. Eventually, he decided it was an idea to be saved for another project.

With his courting gift complete, all that was left to do was break into Red Hood’s lair and give it to him…

That sounded wrong. Give the knife to him. It’s not an innuendo! Great. Now he’s thinking about those thick thighs again. Stop! Bad Danny!

He shook himself to dispel the train of thought. Danny had a different, more pressing problem to deal with: How could he present a knife to a vigilante without it coming across as a threat? He didn’t have a box for it, and the knife didn’t have a sheath yet. He could always make himself the box and store it in his chest, but watching someone pull random items out of their body was apparently gross and disturbing, or so he’d been told. What if he just-

Danny yanked open the kitchen junk drawer and began to root around. After a few seconds of sifting, he pulled out his prize and ever so gently stuck it to the knife. The green gift bow was squished on one end but remained comically large on the blade. He bounced up and down on his toes. It was so stupid that it just might work.

Feeling the cool rush of invisibility, Danny phased through the wall of his apartment to greet the early morning light beginning to peak over the buildings. Floating in the air for a minute, he absently fiddled with the bow on his courting gift. With the city starting to wake, Hood should be returning to his lair.

It didn’t take long for him to fly past the unseen territory lines and into Crime Alley. Danny had crossed through Hood’s haunt before. It had never felt aggressive like some in the Ghost Zone. Red Hood's haunt was more curious, probing with a warning to behave himself. The haunt felt different this time around. Now it felt welcoming rather than wary, warm. If Danny closed his eyes, he could almost imagine being held in a protective embrace. His core hummed in response, seeking out the other’s resonance.

Danny had never been to Hood’s lair. He hadn’t even been given directions, but he didn’t need them. He'd simply follow Hood’s ecto signature to where the haunt’s energy was most concentrated. Like the dead equivalent of a bloodhound.

Danny took his time meandering toward the heart of the haunt. He’d never been this far into Crime Alley before, and he didn’t want to get turned around. That was a lie. Danny was nervous and stalling. Doubts flew unbridled through his head.

What if the knife wasn’t good enough? What if the bow didn’t work? What if Red Hood thought he was threatening him? What if Danny blew his shot? Danny had already screwed up so many other things in his life, he didn’t want to screw this up too!

There was only so long he could stall. Jittery with nerves, Danny floated outside a decrepit apartment building. The entire structure was practically drenched in Red Hood’s ecto signature, but it radiated in waves from a unit on the top floor. Danny took a breath to steady his racing heart and struggled to quiet his core. It was now or never.

He cautiously phased halfway through the wall, chirping in greeting. The apartment was clean and orderly. The fireplace and full bookshelves gave it a homey feel that sharply contrasted with the worn and weathered bricks on the outer wall. The lack of weapons was a surprise. Even if he couldn't see them Danny figured they were still there, well hidden in the otherwise normal apartment.

A surprised sound draws his attention to the man on the couch. He’s built like a quarterback, lounging on one side as he struggles to stitch a laceration across his ribcage with a needle in one hand and a handheld mirror in the other. It's hard not to get distracted by the autopsy scar running cleanly across his collarbone and down to his pelvis. Danny wants to lick it.

Piercing blue eyes search the apartment, arm lowering the mirror. Danny is thankful that he's still invisible. With the heat flooding to his ears, he’s sure he’s as red as a tomato. Danny’s practically drooling at tousled black and white hair and the long scar reaching up from under his jaw to his hairline like a flower stretching for the sun. His crooked nose, clearly broken and healed many times over, only adds to his beauty. Red Hood is truly a modern-day Adonis.

Hood’s wounded side finally registers in Danny’s brain, rearranging his priorities and catapulting his obsession to the front. Immediately he lets his invisibility drop, absently shoving the knife into his chest for safekeeping. Hood makes a distressed sound as he does so which urges Danny forward. His hands hover worriedly over the man as he pushes as much help/comfort/safety/concern into his aura as possible.

He reaches to take the threaded needle from Red Hood’s hand only to be nudged away.

“It’s fine. I can do it myself.”

"Hood, let me help."

"Jason,” he licks his lips, “My name is Jason."

"Jason," Danny gently cups Jason’s face in his hands, "Please let me help, Jason."

Blue eyes gaze into his own. The ever-so-faint hints of green within them are captivating, swirling in a hypnotic dance that leaves Danny in a daze. Finally, Jason looks away and nods, breaking the trance between them and passing the needle over.

Danny allows himself to revert to the mindset of his vigilante days. He stitches the wound with a single-minded focus, practiced hands falling back into a familiar rhythm. Jason watches the entire time, staring intently at his face as he works. Danny struggles to keep his core quiet and pretends not to notice, taping a bandage over the cut. His fingers graze over Jason's body, checking it over for any other injuries. Jason allows it to happen with a distinct feeling of affection/amusement.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“Nah. The kevlar usually prevents stuff like this. I was just unlucky.”

“Good.”

Danny runs his fingers through the white tuft in Jason’s hair, pushing the strands out of his face. His core kickstarts like an engine with a vengeance, humming and searching for Jason’s core song in anticipation. Danny squeaks, stumbling backward. He smothers the sound and quiets his core, but with the look on Jason’s face, he hadn’t been quick enough.

“Sorry!” Danny stutters out, flushing.

Jason’s expression shifts to confusion, “Why are you apologizing?”

“I’m being way too forward,” Danny drags his hands down his face in embarrassment, “We haven’t had a spar yet and fuck! I haven’t even given you your courting gift yet, but here I am! Invading your space and trying to harmonize! I’m so sorry.”

“Lucky for you I like forward,” Jason gently grasped his hands, lowering them away from his face. His palms felt warm against Danny’s skin, “Is that what you shoved into your chest earlier? A courting gift?” Jason punctuated the sentence with a gentle kiss to Danny's slow pulse.

Danny nodded, stunned. Tearing his gaze away from Jason’s lips, he reached into his chest and pulled out the knife. Jason chuckles, his eyes crinkling in mirth, “You put a bow on it?”

Danny grinned, his fangs on full display, “Well I had to make it presentable, didn’t I?”

He gets down on one knee, head bowed and knife held upwards in offering as if he were a knight presenting a sword to a king. Jason gingerly lifts it out of his hands, cradling it like a precious gem. Danny watches as his fingers trace the edge.

“It feels like you,” Jason looks to Danny for answers, eyes wide with wonder and a beautiful flush on his face.

“I wanted to make sure it was effective against ghosts, but it's hard to find enough clean ectoplasm around here. I sorta just… used my own?” Danny rubs the back of his neck with a wince, “Do you like it?”

He waits in anxious anticipation as Jason stands from the couch. Jason sets the blade gently down on the coffee table behind Danny before tugging him into his arms, “I love it, baby,” his words vibrate over a purr that Danny can feel in his bones, “Just don’t go hurting yourself for courting gifts anymore.”

Danny groaned, tucking his face under Jason’s chin. “You have no idea how much that narrows my options down.”

Jason laughs.

Danny pulls away to look up at him, lightly batting at Jason’s peck “I’m serious, Jason! I can’t cook for shit! You’re gonna need to wait a long ass time until I can get my hands on more ecto. I hope you’re ready to wait because it’s going to take me months to build that gun now!”

“You wanted to make me a gun?”

“Yeah? I was going to have one ready in the next few weeks but-”

Jason’s smile is dazzling as he leans down to press his lips to Danny’s. Danny forgets to breathe as he melts into the kiss. He’s tugged forward until they are chest-to-chest on the couch, cores close together. Danny’s not sure whose core starts to hum first, but the sound is unmistakable as they waver between pitches. Danny bites at Jason’s lips, making a pleased sound when they part for him.

It’s weird to be doing this before a spar. It’s backward, unconventional. Danny can’t find it in himself to care.

It’s a wondrous thing when their cores synchronize. Something finally clicks, like a lock snapping into place, and suddenly Danny can feel so much. The humming harmony of their cores permeates every single one of Danny’s nerves. The rush of giddy happiness is unlike anything he’s felt before. He can feel Jason, too. The rampant emotions fling between them until it's hard to tell whose is whose. In Jason’s arms with a core bond in place, Danny has never felt so secure in his life.

This. This is what he's been missing.

Danny breaks away from their kiss to nip at Jason’s jawline, paying special attention to the scar. Jason makes a pleased sound, tugging lightly at his hair.

“Your teeth are sharp as fuck.”

“Aren’t yours?”

Jason nuzzles under Danny’s shirt collar and into his shoulder. Danny shudders as he feels canines dig into his skin. They’re sharp, but not as sharp as his.

Danny giggles, pressing a kiss to Jason’s hair. “I want to see how skilled you actually are with those teeth. Once you’ve healed we can have a proper spar.”

“I’ll show you a proper spar,” Jason grumbles.

Suddenly Danny is pinned, lying on the couch with Jason’s weight on top of him. Jason kisses his cheek, tucking his head back into the crook of his neck with a contented sigh. It's like the world's best weighted blanket, Danny thinks as his eyes droop shut in relaxation.

They remain like that in silence, basking in the positive emotions and comfort of their new bond. It’s about ten minutes later that Danny finally breaks it.

“Why me?”

“Hmm?”

“Just… why court me? I know I pass through your haunt now and then but we’ve only actually seen each other like… once. What could I have possibly done to catch your attention?”

“You punched a mugger.”

“Yeah… so?”

“You knocked the fucker out in one blow before I could even lift a finger.”

“And?”

Jason lifted his head to give him a pointed look.

Danny stared back.

Oh…

Oh!

“Do you have a competency kink!?”

Jason flushed, ducking his head back down with a groan.

#Danny: You have a competence kink!#Jason: I do not have a competency kink.#Jason a few weeks later after watching Danny shoot a man with a Macgyver-ed microwave: Fuck... do I have a competency kink?#I'm not actually sure if this leans more toward a T rating or an M rating and I would appreciate input #Slap a Bow on It #deadonmayn24 #my writing #dpxdc #dead on main #dom24d1

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1800jjbarnes · 21 days

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◆ 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ◆

Kinktober is finally here. Sorry this took so long... I have been quite sick. But the links should all be fixed up now.... Also, this is my first time writing this event as well, so eh. If it's bad, I'm sorry. But, without further ado, let's get started. ♥︎

All works are mature, viewers be advised.

Masterlist Menu

Day 1: Car Sex - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : A trip turned sour due to a storm. But, luckily, Steve knows just the thing in turning this gloomy day into a more steamy one.

Day 2: Voyeurism - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Biker Gang Leader doesn't like sharing unless it's to do with his best friend.

Day 3: Shower Sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : When Bucky comes from a long and stressful day, he only wants one thing... You bent over.

Day 4: Food Play - [STEVE ROGER]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : It all started with a simple dinner and a movie. But when Steve asked if you wanted dessert, you knew your sugar was about to spike from more than just the sweetness of the fruits and chocolate.

Day 5: Exhibitionism - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky couldn't keep his hands off you on a regular basis. But when he sees you in such a sexy outfit, he has no choice but to drag you to the nearest bathroom.

Day 6: Rough/Possessive sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to show your hot-headed lover that you could protect yourself. And what better way than to go looking for his number on rival....

Day 7: Thigh riding/dry humping - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You sweet boyfriend wanted to share something with you. But your neediness had other plans.

Day 8: Sensory Deprivation - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were his work of art, and he loved to watch you squirm under him.

Day 9: Cock Warning - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky kept getting lost over and over again. Becoming increasingly more frustrated with the technology in front of him as time passes, it's a good thing you are here to help him cool off.

Day 10: Bondage - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : It's Bucky turn to know what it feels like to have rope pull and tug on his beautiful skin, and he can't help my whimper at the sheer idea of it.

Day 11: Bike Sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky had begged for weeks for you to go for a ride with him... Cavinging in, you finally realize how pleasurable it is to ride his bike.

Day 12: Size Kink/Size Difference - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your two professors were more than happy to show you some tips and tricks to help you study.

Day 13: Breath Play - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky can't help but send death glares to any man who tried to have your attention for too long. Too bad you don't belong to him… yet.

Day 14: Marking/Biting - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Wanda needed your help with trying out one of her experiments, and let's just say Steve was about to never let you leave the bedroom ever again because of it.

Day 15: Dumbification/Corruption - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bad Boy Bucky wanted to change for you. Be the better man you deserved, but what if you ended up changing more than him?

Day 16: Spit Play - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were in love with the enemy, and oh, how it was it exciting.

Day 17: Fingering/Squirting - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You needed him, any part of him. But Steve wanted to see you squirm. To see you cry and beg for him to satisfy you.

Day 18: Toys/Mirror Sex - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Steve couldn't decide what gift to buy you while he was on a mission in paris. So he bought them all and now wants you to try them out. Every. Single. One.

Day 19: Dacryphillia - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : late night conversations aren't supposed to end in sex... right?

Day 20: Sex pollen - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were gifted an Asgardian plant from Thor since he knew you loved greenery. Little did anyone know the pollen had some weird side effects when inhaled.

Day 21: Temperature Play - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your undead lover had finally come back from a late night hunt, finding you shivering from the winter weather. But do not fret, as he was...skilled in keeping others warm-ish.

Day 22: Double Penetration - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You're the newest member to join one of the most famous rock bands. And luckily for you they are all hot...and fuckable.

Day 23: Praise/Body Worship -[BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Overhearing for so-called friends make fun of your "failures" in life made your loving mobboss boyfriend very unhappy. No one makes his Doll cry.

Day 24: Cum eating overstim - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Stevie couldn't help it. Every time he saw you, he felt himself grow heavy in his slacks. You were everything he needed. And he needed you now.

Day 25: Caught in the act - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to help your boyfriend relax. It just so happened that some poor soul decided to interrupt.

Day 26: Sir Kink/Mafia both - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were hiding a big secret from your two loving boyfriends. What happens when they finally find out?

Day 27: Succubus/incubus - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Halloween is filled with spooky ghost stories and haunted places. But what if you end up walking right into a nightmare that was hiding a dream?

Day 28: Tentacles - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You're a mercenary, searching for your next job in the galaxy. Little did you know, being stuck on a wateland planet was about to gift you more than just galactic credits.

Day 29: Monster Fuckers - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Rain was pouring, and your heart was aching. You didn't care what the villagers nor that priest thought about him. You loved him, and you were going to prove it.

Day 30: Werewolf On Heat/Breeding - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You didn't know what it meant to be on heat, let alone know you could have one since you weren't a wolf... but here you were, and Bucky was going to help you through it.

Day 31: Dilf And Filth - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your professors just want to help you learn and gain knowledge. Your first lesson happened to be very educational...

—

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aevallare · 2 months

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I actually am Catholic and reading your fanfiction caused me to stumble in my faith for the first time. I had to confess to my priest that I had had lustful thoughts about Astarion. Even visiting your blog is a near occasion of sin for me but I am trying to do better. I gave up reading Astarion fanfiction for Lent and mostly managed to stick to it but the relief I felt on Easter when I could finally go back made me realize I hadn't learned anything from fasting. Now I keep falling into the same sin and I know I'm only experiencing attrition and not true contrition for my lustful stumbling. I feel certain I'll be condemned to Hell for this but I still can't stop jorking it to your Astarion fics. The pelfnis has me acting truly unwise.

i have been staring at this blankly for so long. thank you for bringing this to my attention. i'm so sorry to have been complicit in shaking your faith. we could even call my work the catalyst.

it was brave of you to come to me with this. if you've been damned, at least the cause was just - reading fic that is so so sexy and hot and riding dick that is so so undead.

if you came here looking for absolution, i have none to offer. i'm going to hell and i'm dragging you with me.

#asks #can't fuckin stand you spencer #bg3

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fandomfucker · 2 months

Note

💳 💥💳💥💳💥💳 Rhea Ripley social media posts / talking bout her girlie in interviews part 2 pleaseeeeeeeee 🥵🙏

I mean, if yall are insisting…🤷‍♀️

For the purposes of this, you're not a wrestler

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/fandomfucker/745782885181734913/do-you-think-you-could-do-one-for-rhea-were-its?source=share

Also, currently getting my first tattoo as I write this so please ignore any possible grammatical errors

With the ass video going around, you’d repost it with a “😋🍽️” caption and she would immediately repost it with a “🙇🏻‍♀️🍑🍽️” or sum shit to rile up the fans

You don't have a hug social media following yourself, but they do often ask for more content. Specifically outfit of the day(s)

You make Rhea do them with you because she makes you feel more confident and in every video you can see her just staring at you in the mirror the whole time

I've already said Rhea will bully people off the internet for being me to you. But you? Oh my god you’re worse than Rhea is

If one of her co-workers says something even slightly unkind about her in an interview (Becky👀) you will go with Rhea to her next show and find them backstage

You don't even wrestle or fight but Rhea has had to pull you away from multiple people now because you will fight anybody and everybody for her

One of said fights happened to go viral online, no punches were actually thrown as Rhea had dragged you back first though

People online either loved the love between you two as a couple, or wished they had a partner absolutely willing to throw hands will someone over them

Rhea would do your makeup for videos and she'd always do her makeup on you to see what it would look like

She also does voiceovers on your own makeup videos, or a day in the life, or something

The fans always eat it up too cause Rhea's commentary is hilarious

Whenever you're backstage and Rheas going to take photos, she’ll ask you to do the shoot with her so that her fans, and yours, can get sexy pictures of you both to thirst over

Totally not because she loves seeing you both look like that and wants a picture for her lock screen

Rhea started a war of bad facetime screenshots between the two of you on Instagram and you're determined to win

To the point that you have called people to interfere in the background while Rheas at work to get a bad reaction photo out of her

She's too proud to admit it, but it's worked several times

Your tiktok has pretty much become a house reno account

You build all the furniture and shit, make the cool decorations and put them up, paint, do everything yard-eorl related while Rhea picks out what's pretty and the pretty colors

She'll also help you carry heavy stuff around cause she's jacked and you like watching her work but she mainly kinda just like, flounces around

The fans are dying for the two of you to have a show on HGTV together

Which may or may not be in the works

SCARY DOG TREND

It went VIRAL

that's how most mosherz were introduced to you as Rhea’s partner

You started vlogging, though not very often, just so that you could have the permanent memories of all the different experiences between you and Rhea

You only post like once a week but people eat it UP

You have your own merch now

Most of its the two of you but there is a shirt or two thats just one of you

There are mercy plushies of both Barry and Luna that you always have to put up for pre-order cause they sell out in seconds

Clothes for said plushies are in the works

She posts little video clips of you on her story the same way she does her dogs

And it's always the embarrassing ones where you're completely cuddled into her and shit

She got Saints of the Undead (the people who make her leather jackets) to make you a personalized one as well even though you don't wrestle

It's your favorite thing in the world and you wear it more than you should

Like it matches with nothing that you're wearing it with

But, it says “Mami’s” on the back of it so you make sure to wear it especially when you go with her to Raw, Smackdown, any povs, etc so that people know you belong to her

#rhea ripley #the judgement day #wwe raw #wwe #rhea ripley x reader #the judgment day #tjd x reader #the judgement day x reader #the judgment day wwe #the judgment day x reader

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meanbossart · 6 months

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do you have any thoughts on cazador as a character? personally i really loved the parallels between him and astarion & the way that the master/spawn relationship is used as an allegory for cyclical abuse. the scene with cazador’s master’s skull where you find out that he was once victimized in the exact same way that he later victimized astarion was really a lightbulb moment for me re: what vampirism represents in this game.

BOY DO I, i don't think much of it hasn't already been said, though. He's a tragic character in his own right of course, not that that takes away from the awful man he is.

Me and my boyfriend make fun of him a lot, we call him "the best BG3 character" as a little inside joke between us and come up with ridiculous scenarios of things that might have occurred throughout those 200 miserable years the spawn had under his command lol. Maybe he had a month where he was really specific about the shoes everyone wore, maybe once every other decade he had a weird week where he tried to be "nice" only to become frustrated when his efforts weren't immediately met in kind by the rightfully-terrified spawn, maybe between all the torture and horrific-ness he just did some plain weird shit like making someone crouch by in his fainting couch and wait by open-handed for grapes that he dramatically chewed on and then spat right out since he can't actually eat them lmao

And that's hysterical but I think we also started doing that because when you meet Cazador, when you first hear his voice and see his demeanor in person your immediate reaction is probably somewhere along the lines of "THIS is the clown you were so scared of, Astarion?"

And the answer is, of course, yes. This embarrassing little man stuck in a cage of his making instills fear beyond comprehension in Astarion and all his siblings. This man who undoubtedly showed all these spawn, inadvertently, the strangest, most arguably "human" aspects of himself at some point or another during these two centuries they had together is also an absolute monster. And i really like that! I think its far more effective and fitting for his story than if he was, lets say, a Ketheric type.

(this got very long so, more under the cut)

Look at Ascended Astarion in the epilogue now, for example. Everyone agrees that he's an absolute fucking dork - and I think we all also agree that he will go on to destroy the lives of many people beyond repair, especially his own, until the day he is killed.

In the topic of vampirism as an allegory for abuse, I both agree and also don't, at least not exactly - i just think it's deeper than that. I've spoken about this in another post but i find it incredibly refreshing how, to me, it seems like Baldur's Gate 3 has no interest in painting vampirism as sexy or fun past a surface level. It's a curse that nobody asks for unless put in a situation where they feel as if they have no other way out, and it shapes and haunts you for the rest of your undead existence.

Even if you enjoy its benefits at first, that has a time limit. You will see your family and loved ones die, you will see culture evolve while you stay perpetually the same. You will experience so much hurt and pain because the only thing that makes life truly sweet is knowing that it is finite, and eventually it will wear down all of your humanity. And since you can't die unless you are scorched by the sun, staked, or dismembered, you must live with the knowledge that you will never have a peaceful death - and since you won't have a peaceful death, you better not die - and if you don't want to die, you better not be weak - and if you don't want to be weak, you must seek out power at all cost and slash things like love and friendship out of your life.

And what is funny, is that in his attempt to be more like a mortal - to eat, drink, walk the sun, such incredibly simple desires - Cazador (and Astarion, if he ascends) is accidentally only drawing further away from the person he supposedly once was, because that fear of weakness has already utterly corrupted his soul.

That's quite a grim way to look at it, of course. But I genuinely think that it is the natural conclusion of something like immortality.

That's why I quite like that, even after Astarion has found happiness, even after he finds his peace, he still doesn't exactly embrace being a vampire - because It's not something he should be expected to embrace. I think it's a very unique take on the trope.

I also want to leave here this message written by his character writer, which really got me thinking about him on a deeper level since i saw it months ago. It is specifically about the sexual aspect, but I think it branches beyond it too, when you think about it.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #text #ask #cazador szarr

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pursuitseternal · 5 months

Text

“The Third Day” in “Antics of the Newly Ascended:” just sweet smut, rough smut, and Batstarion 🦇🔥

Ascended Astarion x F!Reader | E | 2K 🔥smut

Thank you @zyana-wyvern for the sexy staring screenshot 💞

Summary: A night spent drinking in the tavern below lands you back in your room, belly aching from the wine, other part of you aching for… him. Only you find yourself alone, alone except for a small presence that might just be watching you enjoying your alone time.

CW: female masturbation, fingering, fluffy bat forms, More Chin Scritching™️, getting folded in half and f*cked senseless.

First day | Second day | Ao3 link

🦇🔥🦇🔥🦇🔥🦇🔥🦇🔥🦇🔥🦇🔥🦇🔥🦇

Your head is swimming, your feet stumbling as you climb back up the stairs to your rooms at the Elfsong. You tug at your dress, breathing heavy, wine-laden pants as you poke your head into the common rooms. “Is he… hiccup… back yet?”

“His lordship?” Shadowheart rolls her eyes. “Yes, he’s… somewhere, though he was not quite so equally in his cups as you are, it seems.”

She crosses her arms and throws you that sharp look of judgment.

But your belly is too light with wine to really care. You wave, slurring a goodnight, heading back to your rooms. Of course, it had been a quiet night. One more night of drinking down in the tavern before another grueling day of fighting and gathering allies and being heroes. The wine had been sweet, not quite the same as before you were turned, but still good to your tongue. And now, you had a silly smile on your face and a warmth in your belly only he could satisfy. You push the door open to your private room, craving that tingle of his powerful presence. But you find it dark.

Empty.

But you can feel, sense him, close by. You most likely don’t have long to wait, you think to yourself, settling on the edge of the bed, starting to slink your gown from your shoulders. You shimmy it off, letting your skin finally breathe from under all that fine silk.

Your whole body thrums, just hunger and need. A drive to be sated and filled. Where could he be… you bite your lip, feeling your arousal only growing stronger with his scent in the room now. This must be what it is to be in heat for beasts, to have a need to be fucked only quenched with fulfillment. If only he was here…

Eyes closing, your hand brushes up your own thigh, body shaking as you slide yourself back into the bed. Hands wandering over your belly, your thighs, you let yourself explore this new form. It’s so similar, perhaps brawnier, lean and wiry just like him. To your own touch, your flesh isn’t cold, hard and defined, but not chilling or undead.

Yet, you are equally wet between your thighs at the thought of waiting for his return. What’s the harm, you wonder, letting a single finger reach between your folds to sweep that slick over your clit and rub.

Lighting races down your spine, your body shivers so hard, your fang bites your lower lip in its grasp.

You can smell him, feel his presence near. Close, but not close enough. Drawing near but still not with you. Not inside you. The thought alone makes you tremble more, imagining that slide of his cock inside you, filling you with the memory of its delicious drag and the ghost of its pressure.

A panting moan rises from between your grit fangs. What’s the harm… you’re alone after all.

Heat quickly wraps at the base of your spine, tremors rocking your insides slowly, fire flooding your belly.

So close, so close now. You chase your orgasm with reckless abandon, barely feeling the rush of beating air above you, hardly hearing the woosh of leather wings flapping near your face.

“My, my,” his voice caresses in your ear, right in your ear. Lips rubbing against its curves. “Who knew you had so much arousal within you tonight…”

You shudder at his voice, almost still from the sensation of just his breath, his sound.

“Oh, don’t you dare stop on my account, my treasure…” you feel him settle on the bed beside you, one arm reaching over your shoulders, as your eyes fly open to look into his face.

Hunger—unabashed, unsatisfied hunger incarnate.

“Where…?”

The question doesn’t leave your mouth, not when he softly claps a palm over it. “Ah, ah,” he chides you, “I would feel just awful if you didn’t finish what you started before I so rudely joined you…”

“Then politely join me, my love,” you whisper against his mind, an easy feat to do while he hangs over you, peering with those dark red eyes.

His lips slide into a deeper smirk, his other hand sweeps quickly to join yours, barely catching your fingers as his fingers dive deep between your walls.

You groan, muffled beneath his palm, your nose working extra to catch your breath. Your body thrums and throbs, his fingers pumping in and out, crooking to catch that spot inside you he alone knows of and worships.

It’s too great, the pressure and the pleasure, and then he slides a third finger inside you.

Crying, you shatter, tears of bliss seep from your eyes as they shut, closed tightly as ecstacy wracks your body. Wave after wave, your orgasm consumes you, his fingers still drawing inside, giving your cunt something wonderful to clench around.

At last, your eyes drift open, meeting his own glassy gaze of desire. He seems flushed, aroused. Eager. As if he has been watching and waiting for…

You look at the ceiling above the bed, catching sight of little scratching claw marks that weren’t there. Your mind recalls that soft beating flutter.

“Astarion,” you whisper, dragging his hand from your mouth first to hold it in your own clasp, “I could have sworn I felt you… smelled you… before you just appeared out of nowhere.”

“Ah,” he purrs, so pleased with himself in that single syllable, “you need a demonstration,” he grins, oozing pride. Before your eyes, a mist swirls as you feel him shrink above you. That bat replaces his form, flapping its wings and flipping in a circle a few times before landing on your belly.

You gasp at the contact. Fuzzy and scratching, little claws and softer spots of fur sending ripples of sensation through you.

Then another burst of mist, and he’s suddenly crushing you. Long legs already spread your knees apart, arms braced on either side of your head. His fangs flash in the dim light, so arrogant and proud of his abilities. “I thought I would give you a bit of a surprise tonight, once you returned. Little did I know my little love would be far too eager to wait for even her dearest little fluffy pet to materialize before getting right… into it.”

You raise a finger, sliding it down the ridge of his pointed ear. Its sensitivity instantly makes him shiver on top of you. Crimson eyes flutter shut, mouth pulled apart in pure arousal. But you keep that touch traveling down the cut of his jaw, drawing to a halt only to scritch under his chin.

You feel his cock twitch on your belly, increasingly more erratic and harder the longer you caress him there.

“I do rather like that, you know,” he offers gently. “Two-hundred years of being touched, and no one… no one touched me like that.”

“That’s because no one got the pleasure of petting the Vampire Ascendant in his remarkable transformed form before,” you grin, your fingers raising to continue their gentle scratches in his soft and unruly locks.

“Mmm I do like the sound of that, my treasure,” he purrs, leaning against your touch, eyes still closed to savor the sweet little caresses you make across his skin, through his hair. “Perhaps I could return the favor? Perhaps you have a little itch that needs… scratching?”

“Gods,” you mewl, bucking your hips for any more friction in your folds. He only chuckles as you do it again, your fingers clawing into the back of his neck. But he slides from your hold to grab your knees. His hands fold you into yourself, legs draping over his shoulder, opening yourself up wide and plentiful for his taking. A growl in his throat, Astarion sheathes himself inside you in one, quick and brutal thrust.

The noise you make bounces off that bat-scratched ceiling.

“Better?” he taunts above you, hands at the backs of your thighs as he slowly glides in and out. A rough beginning followed by a slow undulation as he takes you.

You can’t even lift your head, can’t catch a full breath with how he has you bent for his pleasure. But it feels so… divine. Every slick thrust squelches as he takes his time. You try to keep your gaze fixed into his, watching how he drinks in the sight of you, tongue licking his lip, muscles of his shoulder and chest clenching as he fights to keep control of himself.

You open your mouth, letting moan after moan pierce the wet-slapping quiet. You want to make him undone by your sounds alone. Holding nothing back, you make little noises of pleasure with each thrust, feeling that control slipping away as he slides into you faster. “So good,” you keen, his rolling hips now slamming into you. “I want more, my love…”

That… that snaps something inside him, nails biting into the soft flesh of your thighs, languorous thrusts turn to pummel after pummel that smack hard at the end of your channel.

You squirm, almost unsure if you can take it, but you can’t think either, hesitation quickly swallowed by the flashing heat of your climax. Your hands clench into the bedding, senseless noises rip from your throat, until you scream his name.

“Just as cute and ferocious, aren’t you?” he growls, pushing his cock through the clenching waves of your climax, his own thighs washed in the gush of your arousal. “Who’s… chittering… now, my pet?”

His words come out stilted, sputtered and forced between his gritted teeth as you feel him hitching. Hips bucking wildly and hard against your ass as he groans. Seed spurts inside you, leaking from your slit so packed with his cock. A few more thrusts and he stills, a slack jawed, satisfied smirk on his full lips. He grins so wide, you stare at his glinting fangs.

“Have I…” you pant, groaning as his hands ease your legs back down to the bedcovers, “…earned my own chin scratches?”

“Maybe…” he purrs back, sliding his body in the bed, pulling yours to fit snugly against his side. “There is a high standard of what warrants such a reward, I’m sure…”

“Not for you,” you tease, running a single finger along his jawline, tapping your fingertip on the prominent point of his nose.

“Yes, but I am Vampire Ascendant. We can’t be giving out my special reward to everyone, now can we?”

Your hand fists, slamming a punch into his shoulder that makes him feign a whine. “Oww,” he dramatically whimpers, his face suddenly twists into that look of feral, untamed lust. “Oh wait, as a mighty vampire lord now, I can also shrug off blows like they’re nothing, you should know that, my consort…”

You move with preternatural speed to climb on top of him, to grip both hands on his chest and smirk down at him. “I want my rewards,” you tease, letting your head wag to show off your chin.

He easily slips his arms from under your hold. Fingers claw around your neck, just enough grip to tighten your breath. He pulls you quick to his conceited grinning lips. Sucking your lips, those warm little licks of his mouth work his magic on your whole body. You feel it through the haze of need he stokes with his kiss, just the barest little tickles of his fingers under your chin.

It warms something inside you, that dexterous touch caressing that secret little soft spot under your chin. And then you feel his kiss sweep to the side of your neck, fangs grazing you with those little razor points. “One rewarding turn deserves another, wouldn’t you agree?” he purrs beneath your ear.

And you nod, the smallest permission taken to its fullest as he bites and drinks.

With one last stroke of his thumb under your chin to thank you.

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sexiestpodcastcharacter · 7 months

Text

Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Captain Isabel Lovelace (Wolf 359):

Her everything <3 But in all seriousness WHAT is more sexy than a haunted, competent, funny, cursed, vengeful, mourning, badass, doomed woman?

listen to the run and hide speech and tell me that isn't the sexiest thing you've ever heard

Hot space lady who could kill me mmm yes please!

(sort of) twice-undead space captain who wired a bomb to her heart to make sure the crew of her ship didn't kill her before her escape shuttle got working. she's funny she's a genius she knows how to use a gun and she cares very much about her crew (despite the whole bomb thing).

#LOVELACE #idk who she’s up agaunst really tbf #but she cares so SO much #she gets boiled down to ’tough scary lady hot’ a lot (which 100% agree) but #she is heartbroken about her failure to keep her crew safe #and stubbornly wants to make sure none of it is in vain #even if it kills her #HOT. even apart from how hot her monologues and threats to hilbert are #also her and eifel laughing and getting along when they first meet her 😭 yall #anyway. lovelace 1000%. the defense rests

Vote Lovelace cuz of the way she says "Hi honey, I'm home" to the bastard who shot her in the head, and then how she proceeds to beat him up <3 Oh. And how she twists his arm and says "good boy". Yeah.

LOVELACE SWEEP LOVELACE SWEEP GO LISTEN TO HER RUN AND HIDE SPEECH AND WEEP THAT GODDARD AERONATICS EVER KILLED HER ENTIRE CREW AND ALSO HER (she recovered) AND MADE HER THEIR ENEMY

#LOVELACE SWEEP. DO NOT FUCKING LET ME DOWN #Lovelace is so much to me #Seen some people in the notes citing the run and hide speech#Which is very good #but my personal favorite Lovelace thing is variations on a theme #The cyclical nature of trauma #The lack of trust #The fear #the sadness #‘You can never go home. You were home. And now you’re back— and you can never go back.’ #Lovelace hearing Hera say something to her and #Thinking ‘what she’s actually saying is that I’m a demon and she would be glad to kill me in a slow and horrifying manner’ #Is so #I don’t agree that Lovelace is doomed either #Like #lovelace did die. But #She got out of that pain and trauma #How do you listen to her say that she is Isabel Lovelace #That she rejects the person that pain made her to be #And say she’s doomed

captain lovelace helped 12yo me realise I like women. She’s so hot. her threatening Hilbert is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. isabel lovelace SWEEP

Mina Murray (Re: Dracula)

As the winner of the Dracula sexyman bracket which ran before brackets were even a huge thing on tumblr and as a podcast character sort of now that re:Dracula is a podcast I think she deserves a place in this bracket

I would kill for Mina I would die for Mina etc

Mina helped everyone kill Dracula with her reports and memorization of the train schedules!

Mina got her mind invaded in order to be used as a puppet, and she took advantage of it by uno reversing the mind link to hunt down and kill her tormentor. Twice a day she gets into a state of being buried alive to achieve it. She dreads vampirism yet she's using her vampirism to her advantage. Her man vowed to become a vampire for her. He hates vampires. Yet he will offer his throat to her only.

Mod Note: This poll is about podcast characters, please only vote and offer propaganda for the Mina Murray in Re: Dracula.

#Round 5 #Isabel Lovelace #Mina Murray #Wolf 359 #Re: Dracula

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see-arcane · 11 months

Text

Today’s entry is one of many that really drives home why I can never quite bring myself to get into softer ‘uwu he’s just misunderstood and sexy-liberating’ versions of Dracula. Just. I can’t. I really really can’t.

Up to this point, he’s already had a monstrous moment in bringing the ladies their first on-screen kids meal crying and squirming in its sack. He’s had outright predatory back-to-back moments in imprisoning, coercing, robbing, and getting increasingly threatening and handsy with Jonathan. This, capped with the fact that he plans to kill/drink/gift him to the Undead Girl Gang by the end of June.

‘But what about his, “I too can love,” huh? He’s just loving as best a monster can! He could be tearing everyone around him to ribbons for annoying him, Brides and Jonathan included! Instead he goes out of his way to feed the ladies, albeit gruesomely, and has no retort when they laugh at and insult the lonely old bat. And he isn’t planning to kill Jonathan. He wants to keep him! Sure, it’s a sick version of it, but to him conscripting and collecting Jonathan rather than executing him outright is the height of affection! Surely that’s grounds for some of the more ~romantic~ takes in warped gothic flavor?’

To an extent, yeah.

But he also just dressed up in Jonathan’s stolen clothes to cover up for the man’s own abduction, imprisonment, and undeadifying, while also increasing the odds of Jonathan already getting mistaken for a vampire, bringing home another child for the ladies to devour, and then ordered a pack of wolves to eat a grieving mother alive for making noise at his gate.

And this? This is just the tip of the iceberg for how downright hellish he gets as the novel progresses.

Dracula can absolutely be a nuanced character within canon, offshoots, retellings, re-imaginings, and so on. And he should be! He’s a very interesting bastard who’s got so much more going on than a few one-liners and a taste for good cloaks and yummy company. But his actual actions in the book--even the smallest ones--just automatically torpedo 90% of my audience enjoyment when I run into yet another ‘Oh, but he did it all because he was in love!/misunderstood!/depressed!/unfairly maligned by the eeevil human Victorian characters in their journals and newsprint and body count records!’ version of the Count.

Even sillier takes that try to heroify him for kids like Hotel Transylvania just kind of make my brain trip and fall into a pit of ???

‘Look kids, Dracula is really a nice guy and a sweet dad who runs a fun little hotel for his misunderstood Universal Horror monster buddies! Isn’t he neat?’

It leaves me biting my tongue and holding this mental grimace as I think about the sacks full of weeping children, the slaughtered mother, a young man imprisoned for making the mistake of endearing himself so much to a sadistic monster that the latter has decided to keep him as a tortured toy and undead pseudo-slave for eternity, with an entire blood buffet of human cattle still waiting to fill out the rest of the novel with trauma, horror, and death.

‘Ohhh, but look at Francis’ tragique sweetheart version who stole all his redeeming qualities from Jonathan Harker! Ohhh, but look at the funny silly Adam Sandler cartoon and his new everyman-settling daughter! Ohhh, but look at how #cool and modern-sexyedgy an antihero/villain he is when penned by every projecting director and their grandmother! Lighten up, it’s just a different interpretation!*’

*Of the character whose whole deal is psychological torture, being a predatory creep, casual murder, and worse-than-murder of innocents.

I know it skews me towards being a whiny purist. I know. Let folks have fun. I know. But still, it feels so wrong every time I see someone try to ‘awww, he’s not so bad!’-ify him in new media when. No. He is exactly that bad and probably worse. If he’s not, then that’s not fucking Dracula.

tl;dr: Can people just make some new fun/sexy/antihero vampires instead of stapling Dracula’s name on all of them? Can Dracula just be an interesting villainous monster again?? Please??? (Please save me Renfield 2023 and The Last Voyage of the Demeter, you’re my only ho--)

#ranting and whining this morning #dracula #re: dracula #dracula daily #jonathan harker #adaptation #bastardization

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cammys-imagines24 · 11 months

Text

°•Taking Care of Injured Ellie•°

Like most things in life, Ellie's first response is to try and deal with it herself. So, it stands to reason that that initial reaction stays the same even when she's hurt.

On more than one occasion you've walked in on her stitching a bloody gash up herself with a dirty needle and some janky knotted thread.

Other times, you've seen her wrap up a scrape using ductape. Just ductape. No gauze. No fabric.

There's a reason Ellie doesn't help out at Jackson's infirmary after all. If she did, many people would get even more hurt by her contaminated ministrations than if they were just left alone.

See, because of Ellie's immunity she's developed a poor way of managing her own health and hygienic practices when wounded.

Her seeming to think that being immune to the undead infected makes her not susceptible to other things too, like human bodily infections.

Also, because she's immune she often charges into danger with less caution than the average, not immune person would.

Hence why, she gets more hurt. Being reckless with her life. Going in head first.

Because of the poor way Ellie patches herself up you've sort of become her own personal physician.

Even reading up on medical books in Jackson's library to better assist her.

And you being her nurse? Now she can't complain about that. Her always ready to make a joke about it.

"Hey, babe. Where's, uh, your sexy nurse costume?"

"Ellie, shut up. Tell me what's wrong. How badly hurt are you?"

"Yeah, I need some medical attention. I hurt myself pretty bad falling for you."

"Ellie, you're literally bleeding out onto the rug."

Being a bit touch starved (though she'd never admit it) she quite enjoys when you fuss over her and take care of her.

It reminds her that someone cares about her. That her life matters to the one she loves most of all.

Ellie may gripe whenever you tell her to rest and heal up (and she'll never agree to proper bedrest.)

She also may always downplay how hurt she is, cracking jokes and sugar coating gritty details as to how exactly she got so banged up.

Though she'll forever be grateful to you. For your gentle assistance and the soft, affirming words you say to her while cleaning her body up.

You sometimes catch her staring at you so intensely while you bandage her up.

Her green eyes piercing, unaffected by even the sting of the alcohol you rub into her raw wounds.

Ellie will still your treatment with a firm grip of her calloused hands and pull you close to her, fervent.

Crashing her lips against yours in a desperate attempt to make you understand how much you mean to her.

Hoping her eager mouth, parted and inviting, will make you feel her love beyond her lacking, stilted words.

You'll try to protest, your hands awkwardly searching to rest upon the parts of her body which aren't injured or bruised.

Ellie won't care.

Invading your mouth with her tongue and pulling your clothes up and aside to feel the warmth of your skin.

When overcome with need, the pang of a touched scrape or the press against a gash going completely unnoticed.

Ellie will bite your bottom lip and pull you beneath her. Her shirt already discarded from when you were cleaning the blood off her.

"E-Ellie, what about your injuries!?"

You'll squeak, her rough hands yanking your jeans down, slender pale digits finding purchase upon the flesh of your freshly bared thighs.

"I think this is more important, babygirl. Yeah?"

Ellie will rasp, sucking a no doubt vibrant mark along your neck.

What can she say? Whenever you play nurse for her it turns her on.

And though you worry about her wounds, it's not like you object for long.

Not when your beloved Ellie is alive and safe in your arms, cuts and all.

#the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #tlou ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams imagines #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams headcanon #tlou x reader #tlou imagines #tlou headcanons #tlou fanfic

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ch3rryfunk · 1 year

Note

HEYYY I'm pretty new to reaching out to accounts but so far everyone has been an absolute gem! I've thought about posting my small stories that have gathered dust in my notes but also never really got the courage to ACTUALLY posting them ☠️

THAT ASIDE, what are some of your Leon headcanons? It could be the most random things like how I think he hates chewing sounds or probably doesn't know how to tie a tie.

Hope that makes sense-

Hi!! 💖 Thanks for reaching out!! You should definitely post them, I bet they’re really good :•) but i totally get what you mean, just take your time!!

☆*:.｡.

Random Leon S Kennedy head cannons.

Life & Hobbies

☆ He doesn’t know how to cook. I think that’s something we can all agree on but yeah, he knows how to make simple things but not too elaborate. He just never had time for cooking, so why bother learning?

☆ He actually loves dogs, despite having seen the scariest, most dangerous undead dogs in almost every mission he’s had.

☆ Leon CAN’T drive. He never learned about driver’s ed. He only got his license because it was required to get into the cop academy. He just gets into a vehicle, says a prayer, and off he goes.

☆ He likes Jeeps and bikes though!

☆ Enjoys reading books in his spare time.

☆ loves listening to music but can’t keep up with the newer artists, so he mainly listens to alternative 90s music or grungier songs. (He was a teen in the 90s, after all.)

☆ One thing about Leon is that he LOVES cold weather and winter because he gets to wear more jackets and show them off. He probably has a whole jacket collection.

☆ He acts silly when he gets drunk. He laughs a lot and his face gets red.

☆ Dislikes smoking.

☆ Leon likes taking care of his hair, he’s been sporting the same hairstyle for years so when he needs a trim he makes sure to find the perfect hairstylist. He might run a background check, he’s so extra.

☆ His favorite holiday is Christmas. (Not Halloween, he’s seen too many monsters already. Give him a break. He also likes giving gifts lowkey.)

☆ When he’s feeling stressed he’ll usually get nightmares, so he sleeps with the light on sometimes.

☆ Loves helping people, and kids too. They remind him of Sherry.

☆ Sometimes, he’ll feel lonely. Deep down, he’s afraid of getting too close to people because he’s afraid of losing them to another outbreak or something worse.

☆ He sometimes gives himself a pep talk when he starts feeling down. He just needs to keep moving forward.

Love life

☆ He hasn’t been in a relationship in a long time, and even though he’s not exactly clueless or inexperienced his teenage years don’t compare to his adult ones. Relationships are different now, he feels like he’s got a lot to learn. specially since he has trust issues. He takes his time to get to know his future s/o,

☆ He likes hugs but isn’t used to them so he never goes to give one first. (He will in the future though)

☆ Quality time!!!

☆ Leon is committed to learning about all the things his s/o loves, enjoys, and wants. He’s the type of guy to remember something his s/o told him ONCE, months ago.

☆ He loves taking his s/o out to dinner, it’s one of his favorite things to do. He makes sure nothing will interrupt his date.

☆ He isn’t a jealous guy, I’m sure. But he’s terrified of losing his s/o.

☆ Loves slow kisses.

☆ As well as embracing his s/o and making sure they feel protected.

☆ Loves nicknames and OBVIOUSLY calling them sexy.

☆ Has a hate/love relationship with teasing. He enjoys it but gets quite needy after some time. He likes to be the one teasing though, every once in a while.

☆ Love language is quality time, giving gifts and cuddling. He’ll always make sure his s/o is happy and well. 💞

sorry this was short, i’ll make more head cannons in the future!

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virginsexgod69 · 1 month

Text

5| Rebuilding

pairing Daryl Dixon x F! Reader

summary You and Daryl get started on removing the tree that fell through the window, but your mind wanders elsewhere.

cw descriptions of killing walkers, sexy thoughts, female masturbation

note heehee things are spicing up a bit

1.6k words

Series Masterlist

“Daryl, you don’t have to stay jus’ for me. I’ll be fine on my own like I was before.” You really did want him to stay, but you knew he had people to look for. You’d hate to be the reason he never finds them again, so you convinced yourself that you were ready to let him go.

“You want help fixing’ yer cabin?” He asked. You looked at him, confused. Normally, you’d just call a window repairman to come fix it, but nothing was normal about the times you were living in. You didn’t think it was salvageable, and even if it was, you didn’t have the first clue on how to fix it.

“Uh- I..yes?”

“Then I’ma stay an’ help you.” His tone had a sense of finality to it, closing any doors to an argument, so you kept your mouth shut and nodded your head in agreement. You wanted to let him know that he didn’t owe you anything and that was free to go, but then again, it’d be idiotic to turn down such an offer.

You and Daryl stood at the side of your cabin where the tree fell, watching as the undead mindlessly stumbled around in that area, some even tripping over the fallen tree. He nodded his head in their direction as if to say it was time to kill them, so you nodded your head in agreement. Hearing crack after crack of their skulls shattering beneath your sledgehammer was gratifying. You weren’t even phased by the blood that splattered on you. It was almost therapeutic, the way you channeled all your anger into each swing of the tool. The anger from your husband leaving you alone with a child and a baby during a fucking apocalypse so he could live out his fantasies with your best friend. The anger from a tree crashing into your house, destroying some of the little memories you had left of your babies. The feeling of Daryl’s warm hand on your shoulder snapped you out of your rage filled haze. You looked around to see all of the bodies dead on the ground. Your eyes focused in on the sight in front of you, the corpse before you’s head was obliterated into an unrecognizable pulp. Pieces of bloody brain fragments decorated the lush, green grass and partially your clothing, too. You glanced away from it and looked into Daryl’s concerned baby blues instead.

“I’m great!” you promised, stepping away from him and the carcass at your feet. You really were feeling a lot better. Maybe it was because you were finally out in the sunshine after days of stormy weather or because Daryl stayed to help you, or because killing all those undead helped you release a lot of steam.

“How should we get started!?” You asked with cheerily with a wide smile splitting your face in half. You were sure you looked something out of a horror movie, covered in blood and brains, smiling almost psychotically. Slightly perturbed, Daryl glanced away before looking back at you.

“Got any axes or anythin’? We gotta get this tree outta here,” he explained.

You left and came back with two axes after searching your house for a moment or two. The tingle you felt in your spine from brushing fingers with Daryl as you handed him an axe lifted your spirits even more. You followed his lead as he hacked at pieces of the tree. Piece by piece, there was less and less tree protruding through the window.

The hot, Georgia sun beaming on your skin was increasingly uncomfortable. You were sweating bullets and desperately needed a break, but as long as Daryl was working you would, too. You glanced over at Daryl to gage how he was doing only to have your breath taken from you. The sunlight glistened off his tanned, sweaty arms, only accentuating the way his muscular biceps flexed with every swing of the axe. His chocolate brown hair dripped with sweat, making him look downright delicious. You needed to focus on the task at hand! You ripped your eyes away from him and got back to chopping wood, this time, more ferociously as you tried to force those thoughts of Daryl out of your head. He must’ve gotten to a particularly difficult piece, because you heard him grunt each time he forced the axe out from being lodged into the wood. The sound made your mind wonder, imagining if those were the noises he made in bed. The pulsating throb you felt in your core forced you to drop the axe and step away.

“I’ma get us some waters,” you rushed out before hurrying off into the cabin. You gulped down your bottle of water as if it would cleanse your mind of those previous thoughts. Seeing Daryl like that made you realize it had been a small eternity since you’ve had sex, even before the world turned upside down. It felt weird to have this side of you awakened again, but a good weird. But nothing good lasts, especially not these days, so you buried those thoughts and desires deep down within. You polished off the water and grabbed a bottle for Daryl before heading back out.

When you came back outside, Daryl was tossing the some of the last parts of the tree out of your window. He wiped the sweat from his forehead before gratefully accepting the water from you. He uncapped the plastic bottle before bringing it to his lips and chugging it. You watched as streams of water escaped the corners of his mouth and leaked down his chin and dripped onto his chest, sliding down until it met the fabric of his sleeveless shirt. The thoughts came flooding back tenfold and you and to had turn away.

"Sun's settin'. We can finish tomorrow," he said as he stretched his sore arms.

"I thought we did finish?" you questioned. Your whole body was a sore, sweaty, bloody mess. The thought of more work made your back hurt. You stretched your sore limbs as you stared at the orangey sky, enjoying the cool evening breeze against your damp skin.

"Gotta board it up, unless you want walkers gettin' in," he said as if it were obvious, which it kind of was, but your brain was tired.

"You call them things walkers?" you asked, laughter hidden in your voice.

"Yeah? Wha's wrong with tha?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nothin', but I mean they do a whole hell of a lot more than walk..."

"Well wha' do you call 'em, then?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "Never thought to name 'em, just call them 'the undead'." You glanced back up at the sky, admiring the beauty that had been hidden behind thick storm clouds for the past week. You glanced over at Daryl and saw him quickly turn away from you and look at the sunset too.

"I'm gonna go in and take a shower. You're free to use it when I'm done, if you'd like." And with that, you were off to the cabin.

Once you locked the bathroom door behind you, you quickly shed off your disgusting, bloody, sweaty clothes and hopped in the shower, turning on the cold water. Without electricity, cold water was the only option, but you were grateful to have running water at all. You stared at the floor, watching as the dried blood was rinsed off your body, staining the water pink until it finally faded to clear again. The thoughts of Daryl from earlier resurfaced, making you want to bang your head against the wall. You felt guilty for thinking of him in such a way. Here he was, a guest in your home who was kind enough to stick around to help fix the damage to your cabin. And here you were, thirsting over him like a cat in heat. You splashed the cold water over your face, but it did nothing to cool your thoughts. You were sure you were only feeling like this because it had been almost two years since you've gotten any. Maybe, you thought, if you just touched yourself the thoughts would calm down.

Your hand slipped down between your thighs and you slid a finger between your folds, feeling how wet you were. You were almost embarrassed at how soaked you were, but there was no going back now. Your fingers began rubbing slow circles on your neglected clit. Pleasure shot throughout your body, urging you to keep going. You increased your pace, simultaneously increasing your pleasure as you continued those circular motions. You bit back a moan at the same time you swallowed your guilt. The coil in your tummy was building up, waiting to explode. Images of Daryl painted your eyelids causing your cunt to clench over nothing. You slipped a finger into your slick hole, wishing it was Daryl's instead. You slipped another one in once the sting from the first subsided, but it still didn't feel like enough. You grew frustrated at how your own fingers couldn't quite reach that spot, so instead you focused on your clit, applying more pressure and chasing that orgasm that was so close to coming. You thought of the way Daryl's tanned arms flexed as he was chopping the wood earlier and that coil burst, making you see stars as you came. But once you came down from that high and realized what you just did, shame washed over you like a bucket of ice water, colder than the shower's spray that was currently splashing you.

Next Chapter►

sorry, it took me a minute to finish this, but i did it, yaaay! Thank you for reading =]

join the taglist?

Taglist @eternalrose81 @the-dixon-effect @millybaby @daryldixmedown @theoraekenslover @aeriean @lesbian-horror-fan @paintlavillered @zhannamustdie @thegeorgiahuntsman @bigbaldheadname @Lumi362 @lettersfromyourlover-blog

#daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead #fanfic #x reader #female reader #daryl dixon #fic rec #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #twd daryl dixon #twd #twd fanfiction #twd x reader #smut

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1800jjbarnes · 5 months

Text

◆ 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ◆

Kinktober is finally here. Sorry this took so long... I have been quiet sick. This is my first time writing this event as well, so eh. If it's bad im sorry. But, without further ado, let's get started. ♥︎

All works are mature, viewers be advised.

Masterlist

—

Day 1: Car Sex - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : A trip turned sour due to a storm. But, luckily, Steve knows just the thing in turning this gloomy day into a more steamy one.

Day 2: Voyeurism - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Biker Gang Leader doesn't like sharing unless it's to do with his best friend.

Day 3: Shower Sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : When Bucky comes from a long and stressful day, he only wants one thing... You bent over.

Day 4: Food Play - [STEVE ROGER]

Day 5: Exhibitionism - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky couldn't keep his hands off you on a regular basis. But when he sees you in such a sexy outfit, he has no choice but to drag you to the nearest bathroom.

Day 6: Rough/Possessive sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to show your hot-headed lover that you could protect yourself. And what better way than to go looking for his number on rival....

Day 7: Thigh riding/dry humping - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You sweet producer boyfriend wanted to share something with you. But your neediness had other plans.

Day 8: Sensory Deprivation - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were his work of art, and he loved to watch you squirm under him.

Day 9: Cock Warning - [BUCKY BARNES]

Day 10: Bondage - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : It's Bucky turn to know what it feels like to have rope pull and tug on his beautiful skin, and he can't help my whimper at the sheer idea of it.

Day 11: Bike Sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky had begged for weeks for you to go for a ride with him... Cavinging in, you finally realize how pleasurable it is to ride his bike.

Day 12: Size Kink/Size Difference - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your two professors were more than happy to show you some tips and tricks to help you study.

Day 13: Breath Play - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky can't help but send death glares to any man who tried to have your attention for too long. Too bad you don't belong to him… yet.

Day 14: Marking/Biting - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Wanda needed your help with trying out one of her experiments, and let's just say Steve was about to never let you leave the bedroom ever again because of it.

Day 15: Dumbification/Corruption - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bad Boy Bucky wanted to change for you. Be the better man you deserved, but what if you ended up changing more than him?

Day 16: Spit Play - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were in love with the enemy, and oh, how it was it exciting.

Day 17: Fingering/Squirting - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You needed him, any part of him. But Steve wanted to see you squirm. To see you cry and beg for him to satisfy you.

Day 18: Toys/Mirror Sex - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Steve couldn't decide what gift to buy you while he was on a mission in paris. So he bought them all and now wants you to try them out. Every. Single. One.

Day 19: Dacryphillia - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : late night conversations aren't supposed to end in sex... right?

Day 20: Sex pollen - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were gifted an Asgardian plant from Thor since he knew you loved greenery. Little did anyone know the pollen had some weird side effects when inhaled.

Day 21: Temperature Play - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your undead lover had finally come back from a late night hunt, finding you shivering from the winter weather. But do not fret, as he was...skilled in keeping others warm-ish.

Day 22: Double Penetration - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You're the newest member to join one of the most famous rock bands. And luckily for you they are all hot...and fuckable.

Day 23: Praise/Body Worship -[BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Overhearing for so-called friends make fun of your "failures" in life made your loving mobboss boyfriend very unhappy. No one makes his Doll cry.

Day 24: Cum eating overstim - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Stevie couldn't help it. Every time he saw you, he felt himself grow heavy in his slacks. You were everything he needed. And he needed you now.

Day 25: Caught in the act - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to help your boyfriend relax. It just so happened that some poor soul decided to interrupt.

Day 26: Sir Kink/Mafia both - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were hiding a big secret from your two loving boyfriends. What happens when they finally find out?

Day 27: Succubus/incubus - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Halloween is filled with spooky ghost stories and haunted places. But what if you end up walking right into a nightmare that was hiding a dream?

Day 28: Tentacles - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You're a Mercenary, searching for your next job in the galaxy. Little did you know, being stuck on a wateland planet was about to gift you more than just galactic credits.

Day 29: Monster Fuckers - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Rain was pouring, and your heart was aching. You didn't care what the villagers nor that priest thought about him. You loved him, and you were going to prove it.

Day 30: Werewolf On Heat/Breeding - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You didn't know what it meant to be on heat, let alone know you could have one since you weren't a wolf... but here you were, and Bucky was going to help you through it.

Day 31: Dilf And Filth - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your professors just want to help you learn and gain knowledge. Your first lesson happened to be very educational...

—

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runeswordproductions · 3 months

Text

Swords Explained (Badly)

Arming sword: it’s the swordest sword to ever sword, nothing to explain, no complexity whatsoever, no sir.

Backsword: the extra-ancient, extra-special secret saber that you need to slay your coach to attain. Alas, for this sin you are cursed to forever wander, alone no matter the density of the crowd, that weirdo at the saber event whose weapon the gear inspectors puzzle over for fifteen minutes before finally shrugging and saying, “guess we’ll allow it.”

Basket-hilted broadsword: a single-handed sword with a unique, all-covering guard design, developed by the Scots to counter the British, who spread their tyranny to all corners of the globe through widespread use of their honorless hand-taps-only style of swordsmanship.

Cutlass: a saber too short to be useful outside its native environment of cramped sailing ships, the cutlass is now primarily used not as a weapon, but as steel plumage in the mating displays of that tropical bird of the sword nerd community, the ren faire pirate.

Dagger: a triangle-bladed spike of steel, the rondel dagger has been proven, by recent archaeological evidence, to be the only weapon that ever killed anybody in a medieval duel.

Dussack: a primitive boffer made from leather and wood. The term “dussack” is also occasionally used to describe a cutlass that happens to be owned by a German.

Gladius: it’s Greek or something.

Katana: A Japanese sword characterized by a curved, single-edged blade with a circular or squared guard and long grip to accommodate two hands.

Katzbalger: the preferred close combat weapon of the Landsknects, the most dangerous polycule of gay furries since the Sacred Band of Thebes.

Kriegsmesser: a curved longsword sometimes mistaken for the world’s biggest steak knife, the kriegsmesser is today wielded by fencers too self-conscious to admit that what they really want is a katana.

Longsword (German): the last of the Third Reich’s technologically impressive but strategically useless wunderwaffen, the German longsword was invented in the waning days of World War II. At first glance a simple two-handed sword, its hidden power can be activated with a 90-degree twist of the handle, which bodily transforms the wielder into an attack helicopter, careening uncontrollably toward its opponent to cleave their skull with its rotor blades.

Longsword (Italian): the apex of edged weapon fighting technology, capable of beat-thrusting its way through the armor of a main battle tank, this sublime weapon was single-handedly invented by the one true Daddy of swordsmanship, Fiore dei Liberi.

Messer: a small single-handed sword, the messer is possessed of a strange psychic property which makes every person you ask give you a different explanation for why it looks like a big knife.

Montante: a sword as lonely as it is horny. Though famous for its ability to take many men at once, this mighty greatsword has lived past its brief glory days. Now, in this degenerate age when large groups of men no longer thrust themselves into tight holes in castle walls, the tragically sexy montante has been largely abandoned by fencers who fear it is too mighty to fight with, even blunt.

Rapier: this extremely fashionable sword was meticulously optimized to defeat other people with the same taste in fashionable swords, exceeded in this niche role only by any other weapon capable of binding with its slender blade, as is related by history’s foremost expert in rapier fencing, George Silver.

Saber (dueling): known from a single extant specimen of an Absolute Fencing-brand electric saber inexplicably dating back to 18th Century France, the dueling saber is among the best evidence we have for the existence of time travel.

Saber (military): a blanket term for dozens of different single-handed curved swords from around the world, military saber as we know it today is a multitude of different martial traditions stitched together into a shambling undead abomination that stalks from club to club, eagerly devouring any fencer too unga bunga to be taken in by the wibbly allure of dueling saber.

Sickle: it’s not a farming implement, not any longer. Not even symbol of communism, no. This weapon has entered its final form as a dagger for people who think they are the main character.

Sidesword: too sexy to be an arming sword, too thicc to be a rapier, this evolutionary link between the two was simply too hot and had to be expunged from history to keep all the other swords from looking bad. It was only rediscovered in the modern day by reconstructive archaeological investigations into the philosophical absolute of “sexy sword.”

Shashka: a primitive saber without any kind of guard to protect the wielder’s precious fingers, the shashka is a weapon wielded exclusively by what is perhaps the most perplexing breed of sword nerd: the Cossack weaboo.

Smallsword: with its feather-light, sewing needle-like blade, the smallsword was invented so that waifish, noodle-armed rich boys would have a more traditionally masculine way to express their desire to kiss each other.

Spadroon: a likely-mythical weapon of extremely dubious historicity. Not only are there no extant examples of this sword, but experts agree there never were any to begin with. Its continued presence in modern HEMA culture is likely due to the deranged ramblings of fencers whose minds have been destroyed by their insatiable fetish for hybrid weaponry.

Swiss saber: a curved longsword with shockingly good hand protection, the ornate Swiss saber also demonstrates why basket-hilted two-handed swords never became popular: they look fucking stupid.

Viking sword: an arming sword that dropped out of school before it could develop even a rudimentary cross guard, the viking sword is the weapon of choice for those whose faith in the Aesir is as unshakable as their love for their only source in reconstructing their religion: the band Heilung.

#hema #historical fencing #fencing #swords #longsword #rapier #saber #viking #sword fighting #shitpost #fuck yeah there's a sequel

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