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masterhandss · 3 years

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Who do you think katarina will end up with?

Anonymous asked: Who do you ship katarina the most with ?

I got these two questions consecutively, I'm assuming they are coming from the same person so I'll combine them to a single reply, if that's okay.

People who have been following me since the first season can probably tell that I really like Geordo x Katarina (GeoKata) the most out of all ships. At first it was mostly just because I have an unintentional biases towards characters with blonde hair, which is why favorites were GeoKata and MariaKata, but then when I slowly got into the series more, my biases permanently shifted to the G-boy.

I'm not really a fan of laying out why I like certain ships through test to be honest. I usually get super frustrated when zine mods ask contributors to explain why they like a character or ship for contributor spotlight graphics because I can never really say everything I feel correctly hgdsjsdgfj, which is a good thing someone had already asked me a similar question before so I'll just copy paste my response here if that's okay :DD

TLDR; I ship Katarina with Geordo (Maria, Sora and Cezar behind him), and I think Katarina will end up with Geordo :))

You didn't really ask why but I'll give it anyways :)) -> major light novel spoilers, by the way <-

I'm not really the most deep person, if a ship has the bare minimum of something that I like (a trope or a hair color combination) then I stan it hard. That's why I used to be so equally adoring to both Maria and Geordo, because hurrdurr blonde hair hurrdurr. But the more I read the books and got into the community, I eventually liked him more than Maria. I didn't understand how or why at first, since Geordo and Maria are undergoing a very similar character arc: both characters wants to become better people in order to become worthy of Katarina (Geordo emotionally, and Maria physically? magically? in terms of her position/social status? I can't think of a right word but you get it). Again, Maria and Geordo's struggles are similarly written but one of them is more compelling to me. I feel like Maria's problems are easier to solve (her inability to rely on people, her attention seeking and her desire to be more magically powerful) imo, since she's already a well-liked figure in the Ministry and she's already a high-level magic user. Geordo's though; the series doesn't put too much attention on it, but despite the fact that Katarina gave his life color, he still somewhat sees the world in a desaturated light even post-childhood according to the novels and his lack of empathy still prevents him from completely absorbing all the colors. He's still learning how to see and he is happy that Katarina is always there to help him learn how.

I just love the irony that Katarina sees Geordo as a Perfect Prince and feels that she is inferior and unworthy of him, but then Geordo also seems himself as flawed, inferior and unworthy of Katarina and sees her as someone perfect. Geordo constantly wants to be better for Katarina (and for the people around him), and in time, maybe he could become a motivation for Katarina to be better too (on Katarina's side though, because on Geordo's she doesn't have to because she's already perfect the way she is). Geordo, while being self-centered and aggressive in his pursuits, isn't always selfish and thinks about what Katarina wants too. He'd fight tooth and nail for her and will do whatever he can so that Katarina will love him in the same way, but that doesn't mean he wont respect her decision if she falls in love with someone else, he just wont lose without a fight that's all (and fight, he'll give that's for sure).

Geordo is crazy in love with her; wants to protect her happiness, keep her safe whenever he can, and is even willing to both fight to become king and throw away the life he currently knows if it means he can live a life where he and Katarina can be together wherever she is most content and happy. He wouldn't lock her up in the castle like a caged bird like what Keith and some fans of the series thinks, whenever he does have thoughts like that like in Volume 6, its his internal response to the lack time they can have together alone, rather than being indicative of how he wants to treat her (like in his desire in Book of Desires, he conjured up a literal honeymoon because a honeymoon is the only time where he can spend it with her alone without someone butting in! It's weird and exaggerated, but his desire is simply to just be able to spend a day with her and be able to pursue her romantically without the threat of people like Keith and Mary).

Katarina sees him for himself, and she extends her hand of friendship to him despite all her fears of her bad ends involving him. She knows he's a "sadistic prince" but doesn't always tie him to that title. Out of everyone, Katarina has just as bad, if not worse, initial impression of Geordo compared to almost everyone around him (Others sees him as a Perfect Prince while she sees him as a Sadistic Prince and Future Murderer), and yet she accepts him and wants to learn more about him. She supports him and wants him to find happiness in love with Maria, even if it means she'll get exiled to another country or to a far off farm! (i'll edit this with citations later)

I can't help but want that for him, someone who there for you through thick and thin, who supports him despite everything she knows about her future involving him. Katarina is everything he would ever want in a partner: someone who isn't disturbed by his past, can see through his fake smiles, constantly cares for him, sees him beyond his princely façade, is one of his first friends who has helped him create friendships with other as well that prevented him to wallow in isolation and hate of the version of himself that society created for him, is genuinely interested in him as a person, is endlessly fun to be around and unpredictable, and is overall beautiful inside and out.

Again, a lot of Maria and Geordo's struggles are very similar to each other, but I'm more interested in Geordo's side. I find it more compelling. Geordo's scenes always almost provides something new, we get to see him angry, flustered & embarrassed, scheming/conniving, possessive, grateful, sad & frustrated and so much more. Maria has that too (we get to see her sad and thankful), but this might be my own perspective of reading the novels, but Maria's scenes kinda feel the same to me. It almost always starts with Katarina helping her and her realizing time and time again how much she loves her and become more motivated to be a better version of herself. I mean its unfair to say that they are all the same but that might just be me. (Maria: wow I'm so grateful for everything Katarina has given me, I want to be with her forever (rinse and repeat for the next 5 books))

Yes I know it's beautiful to see Maria falling deeper and deeper in love with Maria, but I'd rather see moments of someone who is trying to advance on those feelings rather than someone who is still trying to understand what they feel. Declarations and descriptions of love are beautiful in literary works and it always gets my heart fluttering, but I can read fanfics if I want to see that be written in 8 or more ways. Give me some action, some internal conflict!

It also doesn't help that it makes me really really happy for Geordo that he's made a dent in Katarina's baka shield? Katarina's heart skipped and fluttered for a second when Geordo was patting her head, and it makes me want to root for him even more! (Yes, go break the bubble! You can do it!!)

It's not even the same doki-doki as when she gets charmed at how pretty Maria is, to me its different in a way that my small vocabulary can't explain.

And besides, it really is just a battle between the protagonist that almost ruined her life (Maria) and the love interest that almost ruined her life (Geordo). Keith is part of that equation too, but he was never a threat after they became close (narratively, its seriously just Maria vs Geordo vs Keith, ignoring the changes to that narrative by FL2). It's always about Geordo (and Maria), everything she's doing in the Fortune Lover 1 Arc is because of Geordo (and arguably, Maria & Keith too) and the consequences of where he decides her future to would lead to.

It has to be Geordo, in my opinion, to show her that things aren't the same as the game (and he already kinda has, just a dent though) (If not Geordo, it should be Maria). He, who she feared and yet cared for so much

(I know Fortune Lover 2 basically removes that importance of Geordo and Maria specifically to Katarina's narrative by making her an active problem in all routes, finally becoming loyal to the title "All Routes Lead to Doom", but its not like the story is digging into Katarina's brain that she's sword training for the purpose of fighting back against all the boys, its still just Geordo, so idk I still count that in my shipper brain)

It also also helps that Geordo is basically the poor bullied animal in the hamefura community's eyes, regardless of how far he is into the battle (like in the reddit discord lmao). Yeah he has the best chances which is why many people both in and out of the series find it so fun to drag him under because of his unfair advantage, which is fair, but just like how you feel when you see a small wounded animal, you can't help but want to help someone who has the whole world against him (there's literally a canon manga page with that joke lmao), which is how I eventually felt over time. He's so misunderstood and bullied by people despite the authors dedication to flesh him out more beyond being a possessive prince fiancé of Katarina because of the anime's adaption, so I'd rather give my biases to someone who needs (and deserves it) rather than other contenders who are already overflowing with love and support. Also who doesn't love a perfect guy who breaks when his beloved is harm/who opens up to the person he cares about most?

I know people will read this and find it unfair that Katarina is giving so much to Geordo, but he isn't really giving anything to her. One thing I'll agree that Maria has over Geordo is that Maria makes Katarina want to try and work hard. Seeing Maria improve her magic wants Katarina to do the same, and whether or not it's from motivation or fear of getting left out depends on the reader. So far we don't really have anything like that for Katarina with Geordo because most things involving Geordo intimidates her, compared to Maria who is surrounded by mysteries and adventure (though arguably it's Katarina and not her lmao, but Kat doesn't know that).

Katarina is already the most well-adjusted character in the story even as a child so the only thing to really explore from her is mostly just her relationships and skewed sense of reality. That's why I hope that Geordo will not only help her realize that she can be loved by her peers romantically despite her self-perceived position/role, but also be one of the persons to make her completely realize that she isn't living inside a game. I mean like I said a few paragraphs ago, he's already kinda doing it by constantly confessing his feelings to her, reminding her that he is a person with his own feelings and not a character programmed to fall for a heroine.

So yeah, I ship Katarina with Geordo for those reasons and believe they should end up together for those reasons.

If you ask me who I think would she end up with objectively, I'd still say Geordo. The author's focus jumps between Geordo and Maria so that really depends on who you're asking. It also doesn't help that Geordo is always in the marketing with Katarina in the books and games, which pretty much cements his Male Lead status to Katarina's Female Lead status lmao

Thank you for the ask lmao, I'll be updating this with more thoughts and possibly citations later :))

#mh ask #hamefura #my next life as a villainess all routes lead to doom #my next life as a villainess #geokata #geordo stuart #katarina claes #i want to add more but i'll do it later :))#I just copy pasted this so i'm srry for the typos ;;w;;#bakarina #destruction flag otome

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winterlovesong1 · 2 years

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19 for the fanfic asks 💚

Thank you for the ask anon!

Send in an end of year fanfic ask

19. What was your favorite comment, or piece of feedback this year?

I am grateful for all the amazing feedback and comments that readers leave on my fics. Some of you don’t know how much you truly touch me with your words. Below are just a few of the special words I’ve received throughout the year - see some of them below the cut <3

Special shout out goes to @bettycooper and @smudgedbypen for writing essays in some of their comments - love you for this!

@amycurtismarchs on with you (at last)

this is how 309 ended. i will not accept a different answer.

@imreallyloveleee on bliss

this is so fucking sweet i can barely handle it. i love all the little imperfections in their house, and the way they just adapt to them, the same way they've adapted to one another in their relationship.

ADORABLE: When she says yes to a certain question on the back porch and her foot slips down into one of the planks, cracking one of the distressed floorboards, before he quickly reacts and catches her in his arms, her shock dissolving into incandescent laughter and a few joyful tears, he thinks this house was made for them.

i love this, thank you so much for filling the prompt!! <3 <3 <3

@heartunsettledsoul on shelter

//When he says you can see her now he knows his secret is safe.// I'm just. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

And then to this?? //He’s grateful because it’s the same look being mirrored in his own eyes.//

TOO MANY EMOTIONS TO NAME

@the-magnificunt on safe and sound

I don't want you to read this comment in the wrong way, but your writing about Nace always hurts to read just a little, in the very best way. It's so emotive and affecting. This series has been so great and I always love when I see your username in a new piece. Thank you for contributing your talent to this fandom!

@jandjsalmon on I can’t forget the lyrics even if I tried

//The scars don’t disappear. But the memories of each get better.// - I AM EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED. This was gorgeous. The scar/tattoo parallel. Perfection. So beautifully woven together. A gorgeous story.

@thatiranianphantom on before the vows were written, I swore myself to you

I haven't commented before (commenting regularly is something I'm still working on!) but I just have to say I LOVE your style. You have such a way with words, so simple but so effective. The repetition in the second chapter of "that's hardly enough" was just so powerful. The parallels in this chapter are so gorgeous. My favorite lines were these:

//She thinks to the turmoil of their goodbye, to the intensity in the air from that moment that dissipated the second she left, leaving only ambivalence to trail her in almost everything she managed to do afterwards, following her like a ghost in the life she attempted to live.// Oh my god that's so beautiful, and so true.

//when they exchange I do’s she thinks those were the only ones that were missing// that is so perfect. It's been a story all along!

I love this, and I would gladly read anything you write! ❤️

@ben-roll-io on among the mist

EXCUSE ME?!? uhh,,, OW??? madame??!!! fucking brilliant but also how dare you?? i would like,, to throw?? a rock???

@voidsteffy on waiting for the right time

Omg afsjdbskdbd tears

@scarletslippers on don’t wander too far

Ugh the *communication* and the *trust* - I'm so emotional

THIS: (she told him that you started at my cheek, delicate with your kiss, then moved your way down to my neck) (he told her he still could, don’t let the dream taint the idea) (she said it doesn’t) (she lied) ---- Break my heart why don't you

@honey-tea-and-lemon-trees on by your side

Ahhhhhhh! I am so!!!! You made me feel so much in so little words!!! what!!!!!!

@flythesail on I found forever, now will you follow me through it

- "and there would seem to be a third-party present." /// Ooooh love this

- "Like the something in her look..." /// No thoughts just this entire paragraph 😭. Your writing is so prettyyyy

- "and would have more of a response to say than uh huh" /// !!!!!!! I just love so much how this specific little moment represents their entire relationship

- "the person when he wore that rainbow puffy jacket, gave a small barely there smile that he thought about for the entirety of the day" /// my fav jacket in the whole entire world—

- "(like it was meant to be)" /// ahh!

- "there was a them now, a different them than there was before" /// 🥺

- "he knows now is not the time for musing about living in the here and now." /// Love this line

- "pushing through whatever walls she had constructed, and with as must assurance as he could gather, replies, 'I promise I will not be another bad memory.'” /// AHHHHHHHHHH this is SO gorgeous

- "he thinks she promises too." /// 😩

I love this SO much!!! Your writing is so beautiful. In a way, it almost reads like fragments of poetry?? Idk if that makes sense but I love how descriptive it is and how the little pieces connect into the bigger picture.

Thank you for sharing! 💕

@sabrinachill on I found forever, now will you follow me through it

“I promise I will not be another bad memory.”

omggggg that line is EVERYTHING!!! The yearning and confusion and tension in this fic is wonderful — thank you for sharing. <3

@acenancy on the place between fear and hope

beautiful, beautiful, beautiful as always. my heart ached and swelled with this one. like reading a love song ❤️

#fanfic ask games #end of year fanfic ask #answered ask #nace fanfics #bughead fanfics #writing: winter’s

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moonbeamsung · 3 years

Text

Winter Nights & City Lights

Because nothing says ‘Christmas’ like spending the big day (and not to mention the whole holiday season) in the Big Apple living with your high school friend-turned-roommate, Mark Lee.

member: mark (featuring johnny)

au: roommate!mark x gn!reader, college roommate au, christmas au, ‘the gift of the magi’ au/inspired

word count: 9.5k

genre: fluff, angst, slice of life

warnings: profanity, underage drinking, hangovers, insecurities, mentions of food and drink, money issues, embarrassing moments

author’s note: This fic is close to becoming my favorite that I’ve ever written. It’s also almost twice as long as I planned, not to mention that tumblr crashed right as I tried to post it so here I am, two hours later. Overall I had a blast writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it! Please let me know what you think, too! :,) Happy holidays! <3

taglist: @astroboy-lele @kisshim @radiorenjun

network tags: @kpopscape @neo-constellations @starryktown @culture-cafe @dreamlab-nct

“That parade was so cool! I mean, did you see the size of all those balloons? They were huge! I’ve never seen so many people all in one place before,” Mark chatters away like an excited child as you navigate through the crowd that always seems to grow bigger year after year, gathered along the curbs of the New York streets to watch the famed Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

“How are you not more excited about this?” He questions, and you stifle an amused giggle. “I’ve lived in the city for over a year, Mark. I’ve seen a thing or two.”

“Oh, right. I knew that.” The cold air only accentuates the blush on his face as he remembers that particular detail about you. It isn’t often that it’s demonstrated, however, considering you spend so much time cooped up inside of your shared apartment cramming in university work and studying. There are hardly any opportunities during the year to take in the sights of the concrete jungle you live in the very heart of, but luckily, one of your long-awaited breaks is coming up soon.

Thoughts of Christmas vacation are the only things keeping you going, along with countless cups of steaming hot coffee, as you prepare for exams in just a few weeks, weeks that seem to go by in a flurry of snow.

There’s less than three days left until your first one, but you’re nothing short of drained after pulling so many all-nighters, and you need a break. A breath of fresh air seems like just the cure for your burnout, so you slam your textbook shut and lethargically drag yourself off of the soft comforter you’ve been sitting on for the past two hours. You grimace at the deep imprint left behind.

Trudging through the living area, you knock softly on Mark’s bedroom door. A tired “Come in” sounds from the other side, and you push it open, immediately noticing his disheveled state. Eyes heavy with fatigue and lacking their usual sparkle of youthful innocence, he blinks back at you, “What’s up?”

“You look like you need a break just as much as I do,” you insist. His already-open mouth widens a bit more, “But... our first exam is on Monday, we can’t just—”

“Mark, come on, you’re one of the smartest people in our class. If anyone’s going to pass, it’s you.”

He huffs, “Maybe you have a point.”

“I do have a point, and you know it. A little walk in the park never hurt anyone, right?”

Mark rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, fingers raking through his dark locks before he musters up enough strength to push himself off of his bed and into a standing position.

“I’ll get my jacket.”

Central Park is a sight to behold on its own all year round, but something about the Christmas season makes it even more magical. You and Mark step at the same pace, your paths lined by metal benches blanketed in fresh snow. Even through the many layers of warmth you’re both wearing, the chilly air still nips at your skin. It’s Mark’s first time experiencing the holidays in New York City, and you’re determined to show him everything this real-life winter wonderland has to offer.

The story of how you two came to be roommates in the first place is an extremely lucky one. You met in high school, and had been part of the same group of friends along with six younger boys. Both Canadian, you’d been hoping to get into the same New York college since what felt like forever. The day that you received your acceptance letters in the mail was full of joy and celebration, but not even a week later, Mark got an unexpected scholarship to a local but prestigious university not far from where you lived that he simply couldn’t pass up.

Parting ways after graduation, you had thought you might never see each other again until you got a call from him. It was the day after your last exam of the spring semester in college and you were sitting on your two-person couch, feeling rather lonely. The number seemed too familiar, too good to be true, and scrambling to pick up the phone as it blared throughout your fairly small apartment, you answered with a shaky voice. Mark’s recognizable tone met your ears, and a wide smile met your face. Though he couldn’t see it, he could hear the happiness in your words.

As it turned out, his college had given him the opportunity to transfer to yours for the remainder of his four years, as their programs were closely linked and on similar levels. Graciously, he had accepted, and wanted you to be the first to know.

“So, uh... are you living with anyone?”

The question he dreaded asking more than anything else. Call him cliché, but he had the biggest crush on you in high school, much to his dismay and to the rest of his friends’ excitement. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to like you, but he feared that college could tear a potential relationship apart, regardless of whether or not you went to the same one.

As a result of this, he had never acted on his emotions. But he’s older now, and wiser, which leads him to believe that maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to maintain one, should he ever gain enough courage to ask you out.

“No, actually, I have my own apartment.”

Silence.

“...Are you looking for somewhere to stay?”

“Yes! Yes,” he replied a little too quickly, eager to accept what would hopefully be an invitation from you. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Well, my place isn’t the biggest, but you can live with me if you want to. Plus, we could split the rent between us!”

You’ve always liked Mark. He’s hardworking, kind, and humble, maybe a little too much of all these things for his own good. Even back in high school, you spent endless nights and very early mornings on the phone with him, trying to convince him to go to bed after he refused to stop studying. To reassure him that he did the right thing by ending that friendship, or to insist that he tell the teacher no one worked on the group project, so he did everything himself. You’ve been his shoulder to cry on for years, you’ve seen a side of him that he’s never been brave enough to show anyone else because they expect so much of him.

Mark knows he’s blessed to have had a picture-perfect childhood, a good family, and an education that was rigorous yet rewarding enough to prepare him for his next chapter in life. The pressures that came with being so lucky just got to him sometimes, and they made four years of high school seem more like fourteen.

You, on the other hand, didn’t quite have all the same luxuries that he did, but you still managed. He’s been there for you plenty of times, too. In your opinion, though, he’s the much more vulnerable one of the two of you, mainly to his cumbersome insecurities and shortcomings, however rare those shortcomings may be.

So in your mind, Mark Lee deserves the entire world and then some. The least you can do is share your apartment with him, either until he finds what you’re sure would be a much more desirable place to live, or if he wants to stay with you indefinitely.

What you don’t realize, and will eventually struggle to admit to yourself, is that your admiration for his perseverance and endless generosity is teetering rather precariously on the edge of blossoming into something more than just platonic.

“Sounds good, then. Thanks so much!” He had exclaimed, the sound of his pure excitement and gratefulness bringing a wave of heat to your face, and you were glad he wasn’t there in front of you to see it.

You talked a little bit more for the next few minutes, catching up and enjoying a lighthearted conversation about what you had both been up to. These sessions on the phone began to occur more and more frequently, turning into weekly, and soon daily, affairs. Mark planned to move in a couple weeks before school started again, giving himself some time to settle in and adapt to urban life in general. The calls became a highlight of your summer vacation, and every day without fail, you found yourself waiting to hear the unique ringtone you had set his contact to.

Less than twelve hours before Mark was scheduled to arrive at New York’s largest airport, you were on the phone with him just like always. The clock in your apartment chimed eleven o’clock, and as reluctant as you were to hang up, you knew you should turn in for the night. After all, the sooner you went to sleep, the sooner the morning would come. The morning you would meet him at the airport.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” His voice was hopeful. Slightly unsteady, but hopeful all the same.

“I guess so. What time does your plane land, again?” You confirmed the time you had scribbled down onto a neon yellow sticky note a few days earlier as he repeated the short string of numbers, nodding to no one in particular. Why did you feel so nervous? It’s just Mark, you had told yourself.

“Have a safe flight!”

He bade you goodnight in return, accidentally throwing in a “sweet dreams” before he could stop himself. When you put your phones down, you were both too busy trying to calm your racing pulses, however, so it didn’t matter. Mark collapsed onto his bed, hand bumping his duffel bag and heaving a sigh. You sank down into the couch cushion, closing your eyes and leaning your head against the back of the furniture. Neither of you could find the strength to stand in those moments, scared that your legs would give in from the unsteadiness of your nerves, your hearts, your emotions.

A singular worry occupied both of your minds from that point on until you greeted him in the JFK airport terminal the next morning, shy smiles on your faces: is it dangerous to enter into the impending situation of living together? Are you really ready to be in such constant close proximity to the object of your affections, however oblivious you might be to them?

Before his brain could talk his heart out of it, Mark had wrapped you in a tight hug, extra thankful for the welcome since you were all he had here, in the city. You wouldn’t have missed his arrival for the world, and you told him so. You also wouldn’t have missed the chance to make him flush a deep but adorable shade of red, reaching from his rounded cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.

In your long-term rental car, you drove him back to your apartment, enjoying the quiet sounds of surprise and amazement that spilled from his lips, generated by the city’s sights. As you passed underneath towering skyscrapers, navigated bustling avenues, and caught glimpses of world-renowned landmarks that you both had seen only in the movies when you were younger, you just knew Mark’s eyes held their signature sparkle, despite your inability to see the dark brown orbs glimmer with wonder. You kept yours on the road ahead.

His first day was spent unpacking his suitcases and bags full of possessions, one of which was his most prized: an acoustic guitar.

It had been a gift from his parents when he finished the eighth grade, and all throughout high school, he had turned to music as an escape whenever he needed it. As any new musician does, Mark had played around with chords, experimenting and seeing what sounded good, and before you knew it he had composed a song. Another one followed, then another, and by the end of his freshman year he had written enough to fill an entire album if he so wished.

The guitar had heard every note, every lyric, carried every melody from his heart into the world. It had grown to be a part of him, a worldly sliver of his soul in the form of a simple musical instrument that could convey every hope and every dream, every concern or every frustration. Every love confession. Though that wasn’t saying much, since he only had eyes for you. You didn’t know it, but one of those songs was about you. For you.

You and Mark’s circle of friends tried to set you two up one day in the school’s band room after hours, with the excuse that the second-youngest of the group, Chenle, had forgotten his piano sheet music in there. They sent you to retrieve it, which you only agreed to do after being persuaded by the boy’s intimidating but still lovable pout.

With no sheet music in sight, your eyes landed instead on a diligent Mark that appeared to be the only sign of life in the room, plucking away at the strings as the sun set outside. You had sat with him for a while, neglecting your task and listening to him strum gracefully, softly murmuring lyrics that sounded like your name at one point. You didn’t think much of it, though, not making the connection behind the rest of the words coming out of his mouth and accompanying the chords. His love song was left unacknowledged by the subject of it themselves, and that was both the first and last time he ever attempted to confess to you.

He wondered if now that you were sharing an apartment, he would let something slip by accident. What would he do then?

University had other plans, though, and his fears were temporarily relieved. So fortunately and unfortunately, you were so occupied with schoolwork that trying to balance dating, or even mere thoughts of doing so, with all of your other responsibilities would have been exhausting, not to mention impossible.

Snapping out of your memory-induced daze, you realize that you nearly wandered off the path into a deep snowbank, only aware of this fact because Mark catches you by the wrist and pulls you back toward him to walk at his side. His fingers stay curled around your forearm as you approach a famous bridge, stepping to the side and gazing down at the icy waters below, calm and rippling with the chilly breeze.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

You honestly haven’t thought about it yet, so you can’t give Mark a definite answer. The same goes for him, both of you leaning against the brick railing in a comfortable silence.

In Mark’s mind though, he knows what he wants to give you: something to complement your own equivalent of his guitar, a large collection of handwritten letters and notes from your childhood and school days. Sentimental by nature, you had saved every colorful post-it note one of your friends would slip through the narrow slats of your locker, every birthday card received over the years, every thoughtful postcard from someone’s vacation.

Your favorites are undoubtedly the always-awkward Christmas cards that your friends’ families consistently mail out each December, by far the most humorous parts of your growing collection. You always found yourself chuckling at the pictures displayed on the front. Eyes bright with mirth, you would observe their forced smiles and arms slung carelessly over siblings’ shoulders, their eyes flickering between the camera and something going on behind it, probably the family pet getting into trouble across the yard. You pitied the photographers, surely beyond frustrated as they would try to get everyone to stand still for more than five measly seconds. Mouths were clamped shut and for a brief moment, the air was void of complaints of how itchy someone’s sweater was.

Then the camera would snap, capturing an image that was simply “good enough.” They’d plaster it on the card and in a few days, it would magically appear in the mailboxes of relatives and close friends. Grandparents would overlook the uncomfortable expressions and focus instead on how fast the kids were growing up. You didn’t blame them. Even in four years’ worth of cards, so much could change. In between fits of laughter, you’d stare in awe at the way your friends grew into their features, only becoming more handsome with time and some growing so tall that they even towered over their fathers. You always kept the letters they included, too, detailing the highlights of the year that was soon to come to an end by the time they dropped it into a nearby mailbox.

And like he could read your mind, Mark makes an offhand comment right then and there. “My folks texted me the other day to ask for our address. You know, for the Christmas card.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Shame I couldn’t be there for the family photos this year.”

“Is it really a shame, though?” You prod, tilting your head a bit at the boy. “You always told me you couldn’t stand waiting around for the so-called ‘right lighting’ and all that.”

“Well, I couldn’t, but now that I’m not there I wish I could go back to those days. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know?”

“Right,” you sigh, thinking about how the same saying could easily apply to the way you felt about Mark all throughout your first year of university.

You have a box, made of a dark mahogany wood and lined with elegant golden trim, where you keep all of these letters, these handwritten memories and souvenirs from some of the happiest moments in your life. A gift from a past Christmas, your family had your initials engraved onto the front in a loopy cursive font, making it truly unique and utterly irreplaceable. And, you’ll soon come to realize, valuable.

Mark remembers it well, remembers the many times you’ve shown him its contents, remembers how his eyes sometimes land on the delicate container resting beneath the windowsill in your room, sunlight catching the accents. He knows how much those letters mean to you, and he also knows how much you love returning the favor.

That’s why he wants to give you the tools you need to do just that, and to do it well.

You’ve always been one for writing thank-you notes for any and every gift you receive, your parents having ingrained the habit in you since you were very young. Slowly, crayons turned into pencils and lead became ink. To this day you remain unfazed by the increasing amount of yellowing papers residing in the letter box, but the words imprinted on them never quite fade, strong enough to withstand the test of time.

Too many times in high school Mark would find you, hunched over your dining room table in frustration with a stack of letters beside your arm that you deemed “failed” because your handwriting was bad, or something of the sort. Usually it was the other way around, him being the one in need of comfort, but on those days your roles were reversed.

He had always wondered why you didn’t have fancier supplies that were more suited to your task, but he supposes now that maybe it simply wasn’t an option for you and your family. So a stationery set seems like the perfect gift for you this year.

On a similar note, you’ve already decided what you’re getting him: a guitar case. You happened upon a sleek leather one while browsing the website of a popular music store, coincidentally with a location not too far from your apartment.

Now it’s no longer a question of what to get the other, but how. As university students living on your own, money is scarce. Unknowingly, you both contemplate this concern as you walk side by side, returning to the start of the path that you set out on at least a half hour ago.

This stroll of yours was supposed to clear your minds, but why are they racing even more than before?

There’s no time to worry now, though, and for the next week, your thoughts are forced to shift back to the topic of school and midterms and all your academic endeavors.

Your exam week is over before you know it, and the two of you return to your apartment after the last one only to collapse onto your respective beds, beyond exhausted.

The dreary Friday afternoon clearly calls for a nap, but unbeknownst to you, Mark decides to seize the opportunity that has so conveniently presented itself to him: a chance for him to go out and buy your gift without suspicion. He drops his backpack on the carpet next to his dresser and sighs, wondering if what he’s about to do will be worth it. But it’s you, of course it’ll be worth it.

Thus, his next move is done with a heavy heart. He’s been forced by a lack of funds to come to a decision about your gift, and a difficult one at that. The only thing he can think of doing to even come close to affording a nice stationery set is to sell some things in exchange for cash. Namely, the most valuable item he owns: his beloved guitar. He doesn’t really want to, but deep down he knows that a true friendship warrants the occasional sacrifice. He’s done some research on a nearby pawn shop, and however sketchy those kinds of places may seem, it’s his only feasible option at the moment, with just a week left until Christmas Day.

After making sure you’re fast asleep, he not-so-stealthily slips out of your shared flat, his actions far from silent but even so, you don’t wake up. Mark winces at the unintended high volume of pulling the front door shut behind him, sticking his hand into his jeans pocket and relaxing when he feels his keys at the bottom of the fabric compartment. Guitar strung over his shoulder by the flimsy, fraying strap, he sets off.

With his phone in hand and directions to the pawn shop displayed on the screen, he strides through the lobby of the apartment building and pushes the revolving door, stepping onto the busy sidewalk and into the cold winter air. Shoppers crowd the pavement with hands full of department store tote bags, crinkling loudly as they pass by one another. Shoulders knock together and heels click against the concrete, just some of the many sounds of the city that Mark is still growing used to hearing.

A few blocks and several wrong turns later, he finds himself on a quieter street, standing in front of the shop. It’s dimly lit inside and looks almost abandoned, the letters painted on the window chipped and faded from the wear and weather of past years. A soft bell rings when he lets himself in, searching for some sort of employee.

From behind a cluttered shelf a tall man emerges, the shabby name tag pinned to his vest reading “Johnny.” Well, he’s not some shifty-eyed, balding man wearing a muscle shirt stained with grease. New York continues to be full of surprises.

His dark hair looks neat, the jacket he’s wearing free of any wrinkles and face young but chiseled, high cheekbones prominent.

“How can I help you today?” Johnny booms, stepping behind the counter and absentmindedly sifting through some loose change in bottom of the cash register.

Mark gulps, “I’d like to sell something.” Still not entirely sure he wants to do this, he instinctively tugs on the strap resting atop the fabric of his wool jacket.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place,” Johnny assures with a small laugh. “What did you have in mind?”

Taking a deep breath, Mark slides the guitar off his shoulder and holds it near his chest for a moment, before extending his arms out towards the counter.

“A guitar, huh? We don’t see many of these,” the tall man comments. “Are you sure? It seems pretty valuable to you in more ways than one.”

Mark’s fingertips trace the strings for the last time and he decides to just get it over with, before he can change his mind. His hands are shaky as he gently places the instrument down on the counter in front of Johnny, taking a step back once he’s done so. “I don’t have much of a choice. I need the money to buy a gift for my… uh, my friend.”

Johnny raises an eyebrow, “Just a friend? Or a special someone?”

“They are special,” Mark confirms, noncommittal to either title that Johnny suggested.

“They must be if you’re willing to give up something like this for them. Okay, that’ll be…”

Johnny tells him what the guitar is worth, matching the amount with a stack of cash and a few old coins, rusty but still holding their value.

Despite the pain of letting something so meaningful go, a bit of joy creeps into Mark’s heart as he realizes that now he can give you a gift that will hopefully become just as meaningful to you as his guitar was to him.

He thanks Johnny and bids him goodbye, step lighter than when he entered, much to his surprise.

It’s the next day when you and Mark find yourselves getting into the Christmas spirit for the first time this season. After he had returned yesterday, you were still out cold on your bed, so he chose to follow your example and do the same. The both of you had slept the rest of the day and almost the entirety of the following morning away, waking up just before noon.

With a sudden burst of energy you spring up from the sheets, overtaken by your excitement for the nearing holiday as you dig out the artificial Christmas tree you had bought last year from your closet. Sure, it may seem lazy of you, but let’s face it: there was no easy way to find a real one in New York City, let alone lug it down the streets, through an elevator and down a narrow hallway to a door it wouldn’t even fit through.

Mark hears the loud rustling of various decorations as he begins to stir, leisurely getting out of bed and checking one of his dresser drawers to make sure he hadn’t merely dreamed up his shopping adventure of the previous evening. There the stationery set sits, tucked safely at the back of the wooden cabinet.

The bookstore he stopped at on his way back last night had many different options to choose from, so he made sure to get one that both matched your box of letters and reminded him of you, with its color scheme and style. A surge of pride brings a smile to his features, pleased with his choice, and he pushes the drawer shut before joining you in the living area.

Your knees brush as he sits down next to you to help unpack the large but manageable box, taking out the tiers of the tree to eventually stack on top of one another. Working more quickly than usual (and probably necessary, there are six days left after all), you assign Mark to stringing the lights across your small balcony while you finish setting up the tree. You knew you shouldn’t have let him do it alone, though, because when you look over at his progress you find more lights wrapped around his body than the metal railing.

“Do you need a hand?” You question, holding back a laugh at the way the cord restricts his arm movements to the point where he can’t even reach for the handle on the sliding door.

From outside he opens his mouth to reply, but pauses, looking down at himself and the mess he’s made of the lights before meeting your eyes once more. His voice is muffled by the glass, but you hear him shout playfully, “I’m the tree now! We don’t need that one.” He tries to gesture to the one you’re currently decorating, but fails, and this time you aren’t able to contain your amusement.

“Let me help you,” you offer, joining him on the balcony and helping him untangle himself from the glowing strands. “Thanks,” Mark replies, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck. With your combined efforts, you manage to thread the string of lights through the railing with little to no mishaps, and both of you continue decking out the apartment with other seasonal items for the next several hours.

At some point during the afternoon one of you decided to connect their phone to a speaker and play some music, all Christmas songs of course. As the classic version of “Jingle Bell Rock” begins to blare throughout the living room, Mark abandons his task momentarily to walk over to you. He extends a hand down to you, sitting on the floor, and you accept the invitation to stand up with a questioning look.

“Dance with me?”

It’s hardly a platonic request, Mark realizes once the words leave his lips, but even so you don’t shy away, glancing down at your feet with a slight trace of bashfulness in the action.

He intertwines your fingers somewhat loosely, placing his non-dominant hand on your waist and beginning to sway, slowly at first but then his movements become more exaggerated, shoulders tilting dramatically to one side after the other and straying from the rhythm of the music. You join Mark in drawing out the jesting movements, losing yourself in laughter and leaning forward to bury your face in his shoulder, the heat of your breath hitting his skin through the thin t-shirt he’s wearing. In one last attempt to keep the joyful smile on your face, he steps back a bit and holds your wrist above your head to twirl you in a circle.

The electric guitar in the song fades as you collapse onto the carpet, recovering from your fit of giggles. The sun has begun to sink in the sky, you can tell by the gold and orange glow that your apartment becomes bathed in as it sets, inching closer to the horizon and eventually becoming hidden by tall skyscrapers in the distance.

Satisfied with your progress so far, you both decide to call it a day, though in truth there aren’t many decorations left to put out. A few stray ornaments and some garlands remain, still packed up in boxes that you would need help reaching. You’re also eager to get your mind off of the way your heart was palpitating as you danced with Mark, your roommate and friend but nothing more, nothing less. You have enough to worry about at the moment, not wanting to add potential feelings for the boy into the mix. Shit, you think, you still need to buy his gift.

“What should we watch?” Mark asks, scrolling through the list of movie choices on the TV screen.

“I don’t really care, anything’s fine.”

His finger presses a button on the remote to select a film at random, the intro playing as you scan the refrigerator shelves for a frozen meal. Hopefully it’s not one of those cheesy holiday romances.

Settling down on the couch a few minutes later, you with the warmed-up container in your lap and Mark holding a cup of ramen noodles, both of you fall into a comfortable chatter about the movie. Thank god it’s a comedy.

Occasionally you find yourself diverting your attention from the harsh display and directing it over to the panes of floor-to-ceiling windows, where you watch more and more lights flicker on in the distance, illuminating the urban landscape as night falls. The view is breathtaking, but so is the way your face softly glows with their warmth, even from blocks away. Not that Mark would ever tell you that, of course.

“I’m going out!” Mark hears shuffling from outside his bedroom the next morning, your voice instantly bringing him to his senses. Curious, he shoots out of bed and flings the door open to find you, one arm stuck through the sleeve of your coat and the other buried in a bag, but it’s not the one you usually bring when you leave the flat. Eyes wide and panicked at the boy’s unexpected appearance, you clutch it to your chest with a visible amount of difficulty, Mark notices.

“Where are you off to?” He squints at the brightness of the living room, the early morning light pouring in through the glass on the far wall.

“...Maybe I can’t tell you,” you respond with a huff, slinging the heavy bag over your shoulder and pulling the rest of your coat on.

“What do you mean, you can’t—oh.”

“Nice going, genius,” you shake your head, feigning disappointment. “It’s not like it’s Christmas this week or anything.”

“My bad, sorry.” Mark winces and rakes a hand through his bedhead, abashed.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

With that, you step into the hallway and offer a parting smile over your shoulder, shutting the front door behind you.

At least your being out of the apartment gives Mark time to wrap your gift. All he has to do is figure out how.

Johnny gets a familiar feeling when he sees you enter the pawn shop, fumbling with your things and reluctantly gazing at whatever’s in the tote you’re holding. Are you also about to make an exchange you could potentially regret?

“One second,” you excuse yourself as you step up to the counter, placing the heavy bag down and removing the large item from inside: your letter box, minus its contents. Of course you would never get rid of those, but despite the letters and notes being so special to you, the box they were always kept in is also a significant part of your attachment and the memories you hold dear.

With a thud you set it down, Johnny glancing between the hesitation on your face and the wooden container on the counter in front of him. “Let me guess, you want to exchange this for cash?”

“Yes, sir, that’s exactly what I—” You pause, biting your tongue. “Hold on… Look, I know this is a pawn shop and that’s what people do here, but how are you so sure?”

Johnny’s gut tells him he shouldn’t give away the fact that a boy wearing the very same expression and with the same sense of purpose and determination was in here just two days earlier. So he corrects his mistake with a simple “Lucky guess” and a hearty chuckle.

Without Johnny even asking, you tell him that you’re also looking for some extra cash in order to afford a gift for your “friend,” and you say the word with so much conviction and certainty that it’s almost laughable. The information given to Johnny helps him fully connect the dots in his mind, realizing that each of you are the one the other talked about.

Before handing you the money, Johnny tears off a sheet of paper from a nearby notepad and asks you to fill out your information, most importantly your address. He has to lie a bit, saying it’s for contact purposes, but his heart is in the right place nonetheless. Just in case something goes south (and the sinking feeling in his stomach tells him that it will somehow), doing so gives him an option, even if he doesn’t know what that option might be yet.

“Thank you, Johnny, and Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas!” He returns your wish cheerfully as you push the door open to leave.

“Good luck finding a gift for your ‘friend,’ too.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks when you see his teasing use of air quotes, but still smile.

On your way back to the apartment Mark texts you and asks you to check the mail, saying he forgot to do so yesterday. When you arrive in the lobby and make your way over to the cluster of mailboxes, you’re instantly shocked to find a large cardboard box shoved into the small cubby with your and Mark’s name on it. You’re already struggling to carry the guitar case you bought for him, so you decide to make a second trip later.

A few moments after stepping out of the elevator, you knock on the door to your apartment, hoping with all your might that Mark won’t actually open it and instead just answer with a “Come in” as he always does. Your wish is, thankfully, granted, but it’s quickly followed by “Wait, wait, wait!” As it happens, he just finished wrapping your gift and needs another minute or two to tuck it away somewhere until the big day arrives. “Can you stay out there until I say?”

“Sure,” you reply, “but I’m going to have to ask you to do the same.”

“How about I stay in my room while you come in and do… whatever you need to?”

“Sounds good.”

With his door closed, Mark hears the front one open and shut as you enter. Trying not to make any noise that would give away the size of the item you just bought, you finally settle for hiding the leather case underneath your bed, concealed by the drapery attached to its frame that hovers just above the floor.

Mark had hastily placed the now-wrapped (though not elegantly so) stationery set back into his dresser, so he’s already out of his room by the time you leave yours. “Any letters or packages?” He questions when he sees you.

“Oh, right!” You snap your fingers, “We do have a package but my hands were full, so I’ll bring it up right now.”

“Eggnog?”

While the box had looked fairly ordinary from the outside, upon opening it and glancing at the return address you learned it was actually anything but that. Mark’s and your parents had sent a holiday care package of sorts, including both of your families’ Christmas cards and a carton of eggnog, along with some small gifts that are meant to be saved for the morning of the 25th. Also mixed in are a few small decorations (not that you need more), some baking supplies complete with a copy of the recipe for the cookies you make every year, and a soft pair of mittens for each of you. He hopes you don’t realize that one of the items is a sprig of mistletoe.

“You don’t like eggnog?” You ask, stunned. Mark shrugs, “I don’t really care for milk but it’s the thought that counts, I guess.”

That evening you and Mark take another stroll, this time choosing to stay on the streets and admire the festively adorned buildings and shops as you pass by them. Admiring Christmas lights at this time of year is nothing new to you and Mark. In fact, when you lived in Canada you would do the same thing. The only difference is that back then, it involved driving through quiet suburban neighborhoods and not ambling through crowded city streets and alleyways on foot.

Snowflakes begin to cascade from the heavens as you make your way back around to the block where you live. Mark sticks his tongue out to catch one of the small crystals, and it immediately melts in his mouth, eliciting a high-pitched laugh from the boy. Snow is also something you both are more than used to by now, having grown up with white Christmases all your lives. It makes you wonder if the holiday season would be the same without it.

“You know what we should do?” Mark turns to you just as you’re about to enter the apartment building again. “Go ice skating at Rockefeller Center.”

“Mark, c’mon, you know stuff like that is overpriced. And besides, I can’t skate to save my life. Remember—”

“That time in sophomore year? You bet I do,” he laughs as he remembers how you clumsily fell not even two seconds after stepping onto the ice with your skates, and then refused to let go of the railing for the rest of the day. The elevator whirs to life, climbing floor after floor with ease.

“Hey,” you offer, “we can still go and watch people skate, I’m sure there’s some place to sit.”

“And we can look at the Christmas tree, too,” Mark adds, eyes brightening at the idea.

“Right. I forget you haven’t seen it in person before.” The cabin doors open with a ding and you step out, your eyes landing on the door to your apartment a few yards away.

When you turn on the TV, Mark becomes mesmerized by the movie that’s playing, since it takes place in NYC and he recognizes so many places from actually being there. He scrambles to remove his jacket and beanie, plopping down onto the couch once they’re safely hooked on the coat rack.

Watching him, you sigh. Would anything really change if you were dating? Assuming your feelings were returned, of course, but you can’t imagine that your relationship would differ much. You certainly wouldn’t go on extravagant dates, or buy expensive gifts for each other, but that’s not what love is about, anyway. With the exception of a few extra hugs and the addition of kisses, along with more forms of physical affection in general (actually, scratch that, Mark’s always been awkward with those kinds of things), you’d still be by each other’s side just like always.

As you sit down next to him and feel an arm wrap around your shoulder, you don’t shrug it off, instead embracing the warm and fuzzy feeling in your heart that you can’t blame on the holiday season this time.

Mark’s glad, too. He’s been working up the courage to do that all day.

Late that night, you quietly tiptoe into the living area, retrieving an old box from your move-in last year that will fit his gift perfectly, and won’t give away what’s inside. Your hands fold and tape the wrapping paper with care, tying a neat ribbon once you’re done. Sure, you had to give up something that meant a lot to you in order to afford Mark’s present, but the gains outweigh the losses. You find comfort in imagining the way his face will surely light up with pure joy on Christmas morning, drifting off to sleep with ease once you’ve hidden the rectangular parcel back underneath your bed.

A few days pass and soon it’s the 23rd, and you join Mark at the railing of the ice rink, of course on the side with solid ground. “Ice is solid ground,” Mark had corrected, but you stood firm in your words. “More like slippery ground, if you ask me.”

Luckily you had been allowed to stand here for free, because god only knows what small, simple thing someone would be charged for in New York. It’s happened to you before, and you’re not even a tourist.

Mark’s dark eyes gaze up at the 75-foot-tall tree in wonder, pupils dilating and reflecting the tens of thousands of bright lights strung through the dark green branches. They seem to sparkle with sheer amazement. Just then someone skates a little too close to the section of railing you’re leaning on, startling Mark out of his LED-induced daze and putting the most adorable look of surprise on his face.

His focus shifts to the people on the ice, wearing sweaters and jackets of every color imaginable, and the sight is still as beautiful as the looming Christmas tree above. He notices some couples, holding onto one another or skating hand-in-hand, and it makes him wonder if that could be you two someday, at a future Christmas, or if it’s an idea absurd enough for an alternate reality.

Mark sees you shiver out of the corner of his eye, and it’s his cue to suggest returning home for the evening. In a very cliché and boyfriend-esque gesture he offers you his jacket, but you decline, insisting that it’s not far and assuring him that you’ll be okay.

Back in your heated flat, you twist open the lid of the eggnog carton and pour a small glass for yourself. “Are you sure you don’t want some?” You call out to Mark from the kitchen, snatching one of the cookies you made the other day and finding a paper plate for the thin shortbread wafer, lined with elegant white icing and dusted with sprinkles.

“I already told you, I don’t like eggnog!”

“Have you even tried it before?” Mark grumbles at your nagging. You really sound like his mom right now.

“No…”

You appear at the other end of the couch, holding out a small cup with just a sip or two of eggnog in it. “Try it. You never know.”

He knows you won’t leave until you see him lift it to his lips for yourself, so he does. Immediately the sweet drink overwhelms his taste buds, and also leaves a slight sting on his tongue.

“What’s in this stuff?” He coughs, nose scrunching a bit from the strong taste. Surprisingly, though, he doesn’t hate it. Following you back to the kitchen, Mark pours a full glass this time, already gulping it down.

“Uh,” you scan the ingredients on the back of the carton once he sets it down on the counter, “milk, cream, sugar, eggs…”

“...whiskey? What the hell?”

“It has alcohol,” Mark slurs, his giggling interrupted by a hiccup. Having never drank before, he’s undeniably a lightweight, and even a little bit can get him wasted almost instantly.

“Mom and Dad must have mixed something up, because they definitely didn’t mean to send us alcoholic eggnog.”

Sure enough, back home in Canada your parents are wondering why they only have the kid-friendly stuff in their fridge.

Mark latches on to you, arm curling lazily around your waist. Great, he’s one of those people that gets clingy when they’re drunk. “Try some,” he whines, nuzzling into your shoulder a little.

“Are you crazy?”

“No one will know,” he laughs, hiccuping again. Giving in to his adorably drunken pout, you take one sip from your original glass but no more, an unpleasant buzz taking over your whole mouth.

Not looking forward to finding a hangover cure on Christmas Eve of all days, you pray that you’ll stay sober enough to take care of the tipsy boy, who’s currently pressing his face into the back of your neck and—shit, did he just kiss you there? You really don’t need this right now.

“Mark, you’re drunk, okay? Stop it,” you caution.

“But I love you,” he murmurs, warm breath fanning your skin, and you want to kick yourself for almost saying it back. Does he even mean it, though? Alcohol makes people say crazy things, things they don’t mean, so you shouldn’t get your hopes up. You unhook his arm from your torso and turn around to push against his chest, frustrated. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He seems to have just remembered something, because he ignores you and instead goes over to where the care package was still sitting, digging into the bottom and pulling out something you hadn’t noticed before. “Look,” Mark declares in a nasal voice, “mistletoe.”

You exasperatedly hang your head, desperate to slam it into the nearest wall. With much difficulty, you eventually manage to get him tucked underneath the blanket, leaving a glass of water on his nightstand for when he wakes up. “Get some sleep,” you say simply.

He tells you goodnight with a fond mumble of your name as you shut the bedroom door behind you. Rubbing your eyes, you yawn before turning off the lights and heading to bed yourself, trying to block out the events that had just taken place.

Your head aches when you wake up the next morning, and you feel like garbage, so you can only imagine how much worse Mark must be doing. Quickly chugging a water bottle, you reluctantly go to knock on his door, hearing a pained groan once you enter. He’s sitting up, chin resting in one hand and the other anchored onto the heavy comforter covering his legs.

“How are you feeling?” The obvious question with an even more obvious answer makes Mark wince. “Awful.”

“Sorry.” It’s silent for a moment, Mark pressing three fingers to his throbbing forehead and you staring aimlessly at the wall. “I knew that eggnog was a bad idea.”

“You were the one that told me to try it!”

“I didn't know it had alcohol in it!”

You sigh, dejected. Something tells Mark that your head isn’t the only thing hurting.

“Hey, I know that look. What’s wrong?” He prods, voice soft and gentle and altogether unlike how it had been last night. You meet his eyes for a moment, about to speak but biting your lip at the last second. Mark’s brain puts two and two together at your expression.

“Oh god, did I say something? Do something?”

“Yeah, actually,” you reply in a huff. “First you kissed my neck, then you told me you loved me, and then you held up a clump of mistletoe and implied that we should kiss underneath it.”

His memories of the previous evening are all a blur, so he truly would have no idea what happened if you hadn’t just said something. Mark knows he screwed up, bad.

You tense when you feel him place his hand over yours, but you don’t snatch it away. After collecting his thoughts, Mark clears his throat.

“Look, I… I know that’s not the best way for you to find out how someone feels about you. But I’m completely sober, and I can tell you that I meant what I said last night.”

“You promise?”

“Promise,” Mark replies.

“...Can you say it again, then?”

He blushes, “That I…?”

You nod, the corners of your lips lifting into a small smile.

“I love you,” Mark tells you for the second time in the last 24 hours, but this time you know you can believe him. The pain of your hangover goes away for a moment as he takes your jaw in his hands and connects your lips, just barely retaining the buzz of the alcohol but not enough to bother you. Slowly you kiss him back, sinking down onto the mattress beside him.

Mark pulls away for air a few seconds later, thumb grazing your cheek lovingly. “Does this mean we’re—”

“Dating? If you want it to, then sure,” your finger traces swirly shapes on the small of his back while you assure him that neither of you need to rush into anything if you aren’t ready.

“I don’t want things to change, though.”

“Who said they have to? I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and we’re already pretty close, you know? Making it ‘official’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘different,’ so...”

Mark hums in agreement, “You’re right. Okay, I can live with that.”

“And I can’t live another second without food. I’m making breakfast,” you quip, reverting back to the usual banter between you and him.

“I’ll cook the eggs,” Mark insists as you both make your way out of his bedroom and into the kitchen.

“You absolutely will not!”

The night before Christmas had started out unlike any that you’d ever experienced before, with you confronting your now-boyfriend about a drunken love confession the previous day. But now, it’s ending just like every year, with you cozy and curled up in front of the television as the last few segments of the news play.

It’s the coldest Christmas Eve in years. You learned this after the meteorologist had informed viewers of the record only a few minutes earlier, inadvertently planting an idea in Mark’s mind.

Right as you’re about to turn in for the night, setting a plate of decorated cookies and a glass of milk down on the end table (as is tradition in your families, no matter how old you are), Mark holds out his arms like a child might. “Can we…?” He asks in a quiet voice, nervous to finish his sentence.

“Huh?”

The boy inhales sharply, “It’s freezing. Do you wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” His cheeks flush a deep red that’s almost the color of Christmas itself.

You’re slightly taken aback, and then you remember it’s just Mark. “Sure, why not,” you answer with a light shrug and a smile on your face.

“But no funny business,” you inform him as you climb under the sheets together, instantly happy with your choice to join him because double the people means double the body heat. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Mark replies, pecking your lips. His wrist finds the warm skin of your neck and you flinch away.

“Your hands are cold!” He just snickers at your whining.

The two of you fall asleep more quickly than you ever have on Christmas Eve, usually overcome with nerves and excitement, but now, as two college-aged kids, you’re comfortable and not rushing the morning’s arrival at all, content in each other’s arms for the moment.

You feel like you’re 10 years old again as you rush into the living room at 8am the next day, the bright, early morning sky lighting up your entire apartment. At the base of your Christmas tree sits a humble amount of presents, composed of the two that you bought for each other plus the half-dozen small ones from your parents.

You hand Mark one of the cookies from the end table and grab one for yourself, taking a bite of the sweet treat as you sit down and motioning for him to do the same.

“Open yours first,” you say eagerly, referring to your gift for him. Mark shakes his head and points to what he got you, “No, you go first.”

“Fine, we’ll open them at the same time.” Mark nods, satisfied with the compromise and handing you both the packages.

“On three. One, two…”

The final number barely leaves your lips before you both begin tearing into the paper excitedly, Mark reaching for the flaps on the box and you unfolding the tissue paper.

When you each see what the other gifted you with, it’s completely silent, save for the TV playing a Christmas Day special in the background.

He gazes blankly at you, licking his lips as his eyes dart between the guitar case and your expression.

“I appreciate the gift, but I…” Mark pauses, unsure how to tell you this.

You don’t say a word, raising your eyebrows as a signal for him to continue.

“I sold my guitar to pay for your gift,” he breathes.

“You what? Mark, that guitar means everything to you! Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re worth it, of course!”

“Well, I did the same thing,” you break the news with an unamused expression. “I sold my letter box to pay for that case.”

His eyes become impossibly wider at that, nearly bulging out of their sockets. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

You groan and lie down on the floor, beyond discouraged. “Let me guess, the pawn shop on 23rd?”

“Yep.”

“Hey, wait a minute.” An idea hits Mark like a rush of cold air. “Maybe we can work out a deal or something.”

“Meaning?”

“We go back and see if we can trade in our new gifts for enough money to get our old things back.”

“One, I doubt it’s that easy, and two, pretty much everything is closed on Christmas Day.” You’re half tempted to laugh because of how ironic this situation is.

Mark sighs, “I guess that makes sense.”

“We can still try, though.”

Sure enough, the pawn shop is dark, even more so than usual, and the door doesn’t budge. A sign taped to the window from the inside confirms your fear: Closed on Christmas. Gloved hands pressed onto the glass, you and Mark admit your defeat. You had been bested by the giving spirit of the holiday season, almost too generous for your own good.

But it’s the message that the day itself stands for after all, for putting aside material value and doing something out of the kindness of your heart just to make someone else happy. That’s what it’s all about, and you and Mark had personally experienced it this year.

So you’re surprised to find two boxes leaning on the wall beside the door to your apartment the next morning, shapes oddly familiar. Could it be?

Just hours earlier, the hallway surveillance cameras caught a tall man striding down the corridor, carrying those exact packages under his arms. In the video he pulls out a scrap of paper and a pen from his coat pocket, scribbling a short message before tucking it underneath the ribbon of the larger parcel and leaving the building just as quickly as he came.

You and Mark’s only clue as to who had returned your items is a messy ‘J’ at the end of the note attached to the box containing his guitar. Exchanging knowing glances, you both grin, squeezing your intertwined hands with the same name in mind.

...So what if Johnny had to take a bit of money out of his own paycheck to cover the cost of the items? Besides, it’s Christmas. And his boss never has to know.

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naivesilver · 3 years

Note

Top 5 pinowick moments in canon in any adaptation

I want you to know that I was so invested in answering this that I pulled a comic out of my own stash to get an HQ pic of it. So thank you, I appreciated this A LOT.

Ask Me My Top 5 Anything

So I could have answered seriously to this. I truly could have. But knowing myself, and given the topic... :^)

1) The entirety of the 2002 movie

It doesn't get any gayer than this. These two make moon eyes at each other for minutes on end, snog by proxy via tangerine lollipops, take it a step further in the most expensive movie in Italian history of all places...

Just, this movie was so goddamn weird already, they didn't have to add all of these frankly absurdly homosexual vibes. But they did. And I'm so grateful for it.

2) Meeting scene (1972 miniseries)

I'm a sucker for " "You will never get me to do this thing" *cuts to them doing that exact same thing* " sequences in general, but this one really takes the cake. Here you can see it in all its hilarious glory - the fact that this is the first time they meet each other makes it even better, because you just KNOW it can only go downhill from there. "Lampwick, I'm hungry" "Go away" "But I'm hungry" "Go away, I said" * next frame is Lampwick scheming to get them food and promising Pinocchio he'll never go hungry if they stick together *? The start of something wonderful, right there.

3) Lampwick literally stealing Pinocchio away (1996 movie)

Their dynamic in this movie is delightful to say the least, and this one scene had me yelling hysterically at the screen. 1996!Lampwick gets made fun of in front of his entire class and instantly becomes ride or die for Pinocchio, and then when he spots this sad puppet hanging out in the forest he just??? Stops a carriage and grabs him like a sack of potatoes and takes him to ✨ Terra Magica ✨ to cheer him up????? That's the cutest shit your girl has ever seen. 1000/10.

4) Roof scene (2019 movie)

The token proper analysis for this ask. I'll never tire of complimenting Matteo Garrone on the egregious work he did on this film, but one of the most appealing results of his efforts was the way all the child characters acted. I can't vouch for the English dub, but in the Italian version they behaved and talked like actual, normal young kids, with no polished affectation to their words or exaggerated accents. I could have been witnessing a meeting between some of the children I take care of, with all the hesitations and the slurred speech of someone who's talking while eating and the dialectal inflections etc. etc.

And look, I just- I love them, okay? I love watching them bounce off each other as if they already knew they're going to be best friends forever, and yes, it sounds corny, but it's true. Pinocchio follows Lampwick blindly and they cut each other off mid-sentence and Lampwick can't say "sausage" properly and Pinocchio only ever stops looking at his food to follow Lampwick's gestures. I adore that scene and my heart genuinely breaks when I remember what's supposed to follow. Dammit.

5) Land of Toys surrealism (Luciano Bottaro comic)

This comic was one of my first introduction to Pinocchio as a franchise, and I cherish it immensely. And here, folks, is one of the reasons why:

Aside from the fact that I would quite like to know what is going on in this panel, the conversation is as follows: "Hey! Wait! Look, that guy over there looks like me!" "You must be joking, how could anyone look like you? You're one of a kind!", which is unbearably sweet considering this comic is very fast paced and they're turned into jackasses in literally the next page. Stupid boys, caring for each other, dragging me in this bullshit since the ripe age of five.

#pinocchwicks #pinocchio #pinocchwick #ask meme #one of my teammates always complains that she's hungry mid-practice and her cadence has me thinking of the comencini scene EVERY time #terra magica also has me laughing every time #not in the least bc it sparked the birth of freenklin's land of toys cheap copy ranking

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x0401x · 4 years

Text

Given Movie Cast Comments

← Staff Comments

Yano Shougo (voice of Satou Mafuyu)

——Could you please tell us about your impressions and excitement regarding the movie adaptation of Given?

Both as an actor and as a fan, I am deeply touched and full of gratefulness for being able to play Mafuyu once again and see the world of Given on a theatre screen. Since it is also a continuation of the TV anime, I cannot help looking forward to the love stories of the adult group, which I am very curious about, and to how their music will sway and bind together in the finished movie!

——What were you conscious of when playing your character in the movie?

I had the impression that the craving for singing and creating songs definitely develops Mafuyu’s music and makes Mafuyu himself stronger. I believe Mafuyu’s talent lies in his abundant sensitivity, so when Mafuyu turned towards his music, cladding himself in passion as to proportionally represent what the love of the adults seems like, I felt more strength from him than ever before. I also think I became able to let out his emotional parts in a natural manner. I have performed Mafuyu in a way that people would be able to feel his growth through the main story.

——Please leave a message for the people who will watch it.

After reading the script, I could not keep control of my emotions and became a mess.

They are skillful yet inept, honest yet insincere. They look like they are not in gear with each other, but they actually are, and even though their happiness is right at their side, they are helplessly pained. What does it even mean to be rewarded? Ugetsu is similar to Mafuyu in some aspects, and it is difficult to try to understand the mental state that only prodigies can. I think their agonizing circumstances will squeeze everyone’s hearts from beginning to end. By all means, do check it out at the theatres and see it through.

Uchida Yuuma (voice of Uenoyama Ritsuka)

——Could you please tell us about your impressions and excitement regarding the movie adaptation of Given?

This is the story that comes after the anime series and I was curious about what was made of those two after all of that, so I had been looking forward to it. Hearing Mafuyu’s words as Ritsuka for the first time in a while gave me a feeling of relief!

——What were you conscious of when playing your character in the movie?

This story is about “a sense of distance that has changed” and “an unchangeable sense of distance”. I thought it was importance to have people feel this thoroughly.

——Please leave a message for the people who will watch it.

When feelings are deep-rooted, you might not be able to move at all. Still, I would like everyone to see those guys through as they try to take even just one step forward. We will be counting on your support for “Given the Movie”.

Nakazawa Masatomo (voice of Nakayama Haruki)

——Could you please tell us about your impressions and excitement regarding the movie adaptation of Given?

I was very happy about the movie adaptation. But, strangely enough, I accepted it smoothly without any surprise. I felt that there was a high level of fellowship between the atmosphere and tempo of the original work and the anime. I am planning to respond to the bouts of each section, all of which exist for the sake of an environment made for a theatre venue’s screen projection, where the animation, sound, configuration and such are all different from television.

——What were you conscious of when playing your character in the movie?

My natural posture has not changed since the time of the TV series, so even in the movie, I performed as Haruki the way that I feel I should. In doing that, I took the moment when Haruki listened to Mafuyu’s song and realized that he was “actually lonely right now” - in short, the last part of the TV series - as a starting point to stand on the sandy beach that Haruki’s heart had turned into, riding on the waves of his emotions, which oscillated between stormy weathers and calmness.

——Please leave a message for the people who will watch it.

I am happy to be able to see it in the theatres! I would be glad if this applies to everyone else too. I hope that you can sense the atmosphere of their daily lives as if you were there with them, that you can experience the concert scene as if you were listening to them live, and that you can feel the pain and joy of love. Please support “Given the Movie”!

Eguchi Takuya (voice of Kaji Akihiko)

——Could you please tell us about your impressions and excitement regarding the movie adaptation of Given?

I was happy. After all, I was finally going to put my voice into the bits where we get to know the deep parts of Kaji. These are parts that we were not able to perform in the anime, so I want to do it to my heart’s content (laughs).

——What were you conscious of when playing your character in the movie?

I was conscious as to how I would let show the realistic parts of Kaji. He was a reliable person in the anime, but he is human like everyone else. He has faults too (laughs). I did my best on how to express these parts of him.

——Please leave a message for the people who will watch it.

I also thought this when reading the manga, but there are many scenes with complicated twists and turns, so I was super emo during the recordings (laughs). I think it has turned out as something everyone will enjoy. Please come watch it!

Asanuma Shintarou (voice of Murata Ugetsu)

——Could you please tell us about your impressions and excitement regarding the movie adaptation of Given?

That the music and art were made in a sensible and very delicate way is a given, but I felt that a work so merciless to the point that you grow miserable when you think about the machinations of their hearts, which you can sense from their lines, or about the mood of the series, which is so gentle that it seems close to breaking, is quite a rarity. I am honored to have encountered it.

——What were you conscious of when playing your character in the movie?

There is no reason for falling in love with someone; it is something that suddenly comes down to us. And the trigger for it might be just a postsctript. So as something that is nothing special, that is extremely mundane and that is not uncommon to happen to anybody, I was conscious of the naturality of that world, to the best of my abilities. Still, it might be so lacking in uniqueness that it will be buried down, and might turn out as something that will leave so little an impression that people will not be able to remember it when they finish watching. But I thought that this might actually match the slight cruelty that Ugetsu has. This atmosphere seems like something you could find anywhere, like it could disappear. I would be happy if I could make people empathize with it, even if just a little.

——Please leave a message for the people who will watch it.

I think this is a very delicate yet naïve, frustrating yet adorable, warm yet painful, beautiful yet messy, fragile yet strong series. I would be happiest if everyone could accept very, very dearly the many aspects of these awkward guys as they unfold in the big screen. I pray that this work will be something like a piece of music that lasts for eternity, like a scar, for everyone.

(T/N: In this last sentence, the word “scar” is written in katakana, just like the title of the song “Kizuato”, the anime’s opening theme. It’s a well-thought double-entendree, where AsaShin is referencing “Kizuato” as a song that lasts forever. Dude aced this comment section, holy shit.)

#given #dailygiven #givendaily #fyeahgiven #given movie #yano shougo #uchida yuuma #eguchi takuya #nakazawa masatomo #asanuma shintarou #my translation #cast comments #anime #asashin has taken the lead omg #everyone else can go home

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morelikeastrhoelogy · 3 years

Text

Some astrological opinions

(positivity edition)

This is from a Cap pov ✨

Aries : Alrighty Aries ! I don’t have many Aries friends in my life, but I am an Aries moon and what I can say about the few Aries people I met is : even if you can be very confrontational and impulsive, at least I know you’re speaking what you truly think on the instant - like, you aren’t the type to stab people in the back, you stab your opponent and look him/her in the eyes. And do you know how rare it is nowadays ? Sometimes you can judge one’s moral values by the way they treat their own enemies. Also, you guys are young souls in the reincarnation cycle, hence why you often got so much energy to make bold choices or actions - and honestly, that’s refreshing, we need to feel new energies in our lives, which you always bring with yourselves ! 🔥

Taurus : Tauruses, I’m always so protective with you, I think you are so underrated ! Perhaps that’s because you are so reliable ? You are among the first people I instinctively trust when I get in a new school, a new town, and once you start sticking around someone, you don’t let them down - this may be part of your stubborn attitude ahah. You are what I would call « root » friends, and what’s really delightful with you is that we don’t necessarily need to know each other’s full life stories to share nice and warm moments together. Simple friendships are sometimes what we need the most to reconnect with ourselves, and you are the kind of people that always make people feel home. Also ? You know how to keep your close friends’ secrets - which don’t prevent you from judging them though 👀

Gemini : Alright, two of my very good friends are Gemini, and let me tell you : you guys are the people that make Caps like me feel fun when I have to do social interactions. There’s such a fun, dynamic energy with you and it’s contagious, you are my partners in crime and actually, long-lasting ones. For Earth signs, I think you bring this light-hearted vibes we desperately need sometimes, and I think the world would be definitely less bold and less funny without you to try out things I would secretely regret not trying. Also, when it comes to serious issues, you are among the first to help, even when I expect it the least, which makes you more trustworthy than what the cliché says. I wouldn’t say reliable though, but it’s not a criticism, it’s more because you have so many projects that you can easily adapt or change your plans depending on what you’re currently interested in. I’m speaking more specifically of Gemini girls here btw - sorry guys, I really don’t know you much... 🌪

Cancer : Cancers, you are the sweetest, most genuine and softest people I’ve ever known. I thank the Universe for sending you in my life, because you are the people that help me learning to embrace a softer, more vulnerable side of my personality, especially Cancer boys, who are among my best friends. As an Earth sign (and a Cap), I’d say we complete each other’s needs, and you guys bring us emotional liberation, which is priceless. You always care for you friends and you deserve to be cared about just as much, please don’t forget this. Also, Cancer girls : you are f i e r c e. And you know how many meanings can this word hold for you. 🧡

Leo : A round of applauses for the Diva of the Zodiac ! While it is true most of my Leo relatives and friends love attention and drama, they are actually the sweetest when their affection comes right from the heart and not from the ego. Most of them hold their eccentricity from a lowkey lack of confidence, though. You are the type of friends who will act generously to show your love, you just love to find the right attention for each of your friends and honestly, I am grateful for having a few Leo relatives because they always help me bringing out a more extrovert and fun side, just like Geminis. I’d say the difference with you and Geminis are that your energy comes from the fire of your heart while Geminis are literally free, non-rigid spirits, which give them the same vibes but I’d say you’re a bit more of a sentimentalist compared to them. Finally, I’d like to say that my father figure was a Leo too and he wasn’t necessarily « extra » like the cliché, Leos can be quiet and humble too, but their generous, affectionate heart will always betray them - when it’s not your ego, ahah. 🦁

Virgo : Dear Earth fellow, I think Caps and Virgos are very similar in their rational way of thinking and organizing their life. Along with Tauruses, you feel safe and I just know I can rely on you when I have a project going on. I’m not necessarily talking about business project, although it could be : it can be something personal, which is much more important, and I know I can trust you to have my back. You are very protective when you love someone - and also ? quite kinky for some of you. Yeah, people say you are control freaks, that you have a problem with authority but you know what ? Most of the Virgos I know don’t have that problem, or rather : they start off like this, and with time, they become of the chillest friends I know, unless when they start panicking about something they didn’t expect or didn’t know how to handle. You sure don’t like to feel your ego hurt, and you won’t spare your words when you attack back, but that’s also because you do know how to choose your words, almost like Water signs, but in a more calculating way - and I mean it in a neutral way, like it can be used to find peace in a argument too, because you are very observant of the people around you, what triggers them and what appeases them. 🦢

Libra : Libras, you’re going to hate me for making such a short passage for you, but truth is... I literally don’t know any Libra in my life. However, from what I know and the few Libras I met in my life, I’d like to say you do stand out with your aesthetic. People say you are always good-looking, but I think this beauty mostly comes out of the fact that your appearance matches your soul, your way of feeling and embracing yourself - and that’s incredibly sexy. Also, that’s definitely something ethereal with you, you are a free spirit like Gemini but even more regarding your social life. You don’t want to be chained to relationships, you let them go with the flow and I think that also comes from your intellectual and emotional attachment to freedom - like the other Air signs. ☁️

Scorpio : I don’t really get the hate around Scorpios. Just like Pisces, they are among the most loyal, dedicated and caring friends I’ve known, even if they may have some trouble expressing what they feel intensely. I don’t mind it, personally, I love how meaningful their little gestures can be, you just know it comes from a honest place ! Your friendships are solid ones too, once someone got your heart. People say you might be manipulative, but again, isn’t it the same reproach for every Water signs ? Tbh, unlike Pisces, I’ve seen you guys be criticized most of the time because of your blunt honestly, and not your lies. You’ re too proud not to say what’s on your mind when it matters to you. Finally, I also love your creativity, I think yours is quite underrated compared to the other Water signs’, I mean, when you channel your intensity into art, you guys come up with such great ideas, I had so much fun writing stories with my Scorpio friend ! 🖤

Sagittarius : My sis is a Sagittarius, and as chaotic our relationship can be, I must admit there’s no one braver than her in my life. She has this fire, this willpower that has always allowed her to bounce back in hard times, and I think that’s what I find most inspiring in Sagittarius. You guys don’t hesitate, you just chase your goals and desires and it’s basically what’s life is for ! Just remember you are allowed to be vulnerable sometimes. Also, I think you are actually very very smart, but in a cooler, « no big deal »way than other signs (don’t get me wrong though : you know your worth, and you won’t hesitate reminding people), I guess that’s what makes your humor so witty ! Oh, and your fashion aesthetic ? It always carries a part of your personality, you aren’t the type to buy clothes that aren’t of the quality or the brands you like. I actually think you are quite fashionable, but always in your own style. 🐎

Capricorn : Alright my dear fellows, time to give the Goat some appreciation time. Of course one of my best friends is a Cap, because between goats, we understand each other. While it would be difficult to find the good parts of my Cap personality, it is so much easier with this friend. Caps are reliable and loyal, the friendships we offer is made of iron, and we rarely break them, unless we feel truly betrayed or used. Just like Tauruses, we don’t like drama, or at least, we don’t like to start dramas - but judging people ? Oh h o n e y.... Anyway, that’s probably because we have more maturity and mostly self-control in social interactions. Don’t get me wrong : on the inside, we can hold grudges forever as long as our ego thinks it’s important. So, yes we are proud beings, stubborn ones, but that’s also what makes us succeed in our goals and rarely give up, despite our fear of failure and disappointment. Also, I think we can all agree that we are funny as hell, in the goofiest or wittiest ways possible sometimes. Finally, I wanna conclude with something : on the emotional level, we are a lot similar to Scorpios. What we feel is so authentic and dedicated that we often have a hard time to express it, especially since we are also like Virgos in our way of observing people and calculating our words. We might fear it wouldn’t be worth the risk, so we keep it inside and express our love in subtle, yet genuine and protective ways, with gifts or caring advises for example. 🐐

Aquarius : Ohh, Aquarius, I had the most amazing and heart-breaking friendships with you. I know a lot of people have a negative experience with Aquarius, but I think that’s because our own expectations of them end up being betrayed instead of accepting them as they are, including their boundaries and their conception of relationships. You don’t owe anything to any of your friends, if this friend doesn’t stimulate you anymore, on an intellectual or emotional level, you won’t fake it, you won’t force it, you just follow your guts, even if that person used to be your best friend or that person you used to text every day and night. Friendships last as long as you have fuel to feed them with these free spirits. These old souls don’t have time anymore to keep superficial friendships for old time’s sake, they want mature, profound connexion, and when they actually fall in love and let down their rational, cold-looking wall ? They become devotee of their lover. There’s no in-between with you Aquariuses : it’s ride or die, the spiritual, intellectual or emotional connexions you share are intense, often fusional for a time, and the best thing to do with you is to enjoy it while it lasts and respect your boundaries. 🌬

Pisces : Let’s end up with the oldest souls of the zodiac ! Maybe the ancient age of your soul explains why you understand so well the mechanisms of the soul ? I think you definitely are the moms of the Zodiac, more than Cancers, but that’s a bit despite yourselves. You didn’t ask for this, it’s something you genuinely feel, as your soul remembers its past experiences. I do think most of you guys partly suffer from this empathy and these overflowing emotions when you don’t manage to channel them through exercices or art. Tragic thing is, when you reincarnate, you forget you are an old soul, and yet, you are born with the feelings and intuition of an old soul, which can take some times to figure out. I think this is the main reason why people often accuse you of being toxic or having boundary issues. That’s why I also don’t agree when people call you the baby of the zodiac. You are no baby, you are the oldest of them all, and you don’t know what to do with what your soul has acquired during all these past lives. Also, even if you are caring and very compassionate, you have to admit you do have a strong ego too. It’s okay, no need to repress it, everybody got one and we won’t throw rocks at you for showing it when you lose your temper 🌊

#zodiac #astrology #no nuance november #capricorn #taurus #libra sun #sun signs #positivity #aries zodiac #gemini #scorpio #sagittarius #virgo zodiac #leo zodiac #aquarius #cancer #pisces

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youngdreamer3214 · 3 years

Note

Could you do 18 from the prompt list with Speedy and Raven

Assume Standard Disclaimer

Tumblr Prompt #18. “You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.” Warning- Angst, Hurt with little comfort Pairing- Speedy and Raven

(A/N- This is written in Raven’s point of view. Please be gentle it is my first time writing a piece of this sort.)

I hope you enjoy reading this.

0O0O

My vision started to blur, heartbeats slowed down and in that moment I was lost, confused, sad and hurt. So deeply hurt that I felt as though all life was seeping out of my veins and at an excruciatingly slow pace, reminding me of everything I had gone through, what I had lost, something which I never had. A tear slips down my cheek as my breathing becomes uneven and blood gushes out of my wounds.

As I laid in the middle of the ruins, sirens blaring in the background, my friends screaming in the background trying to get to me, all I could think about were his parting words to me.

Call me a masochist but all I could think about was his painfully beautiful smile, his breathtakingly enchanting emerald eyes which would never look at me the way that I wanted, like how I looked at him.

Maybe it was because I was not pretty enough, not funny enough, not interesting enough or just not enough for him. Or maybe it was because I was not her.

She, who is his priority, the one for whom his smiles are directed to, the one who he always looks at, the one for whom he leave everything behind, even me.

My breath hitches in my throat as a ray of light falls on my face and fresh air embraces every inch of the room and hope takes birth in my heart seeing a domino masked face. Maybe he came for me? Maybe I am his priority? Maybe he hadn’t forgotten about me?

But as people rush in the room, everything becomes stuffy, cramped. The light is blocked and all hope dies as I see black hair instead of his beautiful fiery hair. I realize with defeat, cursing myself to be an idiot for having hope that he would come for me. All hope leaves my body as my leader and friend picks me up in his arms cautiously saying something that I cannot hear, all I can see is his lips moving before everything starts to blur and my world goes dark.

0O0O0

I hear voices as I slowly drift into consciousness, my eyes slowly adapting to the brightness of the... med bay? I groan as my head starts to throb and my throat feels dry.

“W-water.” I manage to croak out and everything around me falls silent except for the constant beeping of the heart monitor. I see my best friend Richard rush to get water as Cyborg with great care help me sit up while Beastboy keeps pillows behind my back. Starfire hovers around me with a worried expression on her face. I see my team filling the room as my eyes slowly open fully and without hurting.

And my heart starts to ache when I don’t see the archer in the room, confirming what I already know, that he doesn’t care enough for me to be here.

I try to shift my focus from him to my friends, who I am so grateful to have in my life and offer them a smile full of gratefulness as I see the relief on their faces.

“You scared us there, Rae…” Richard says with relief evident on his face as he pulls a chair to sit next to my bed after helping me drink water.

“Yeah, don’t do that to us again please…or who would save us from greenie’s jokes?” Cyborg, my dear big brother said trying to lighten the serious mood but I could feel the high levels of relief emitting from him. Beastboy agreed till he realized the remark made at him and gave an offended, making me laugh inwardly “Hey! Raven loves my jokes…don’t you, Raven?”

I just gave an unimpressed look to him, trying to hide my smile as my mind shifted to my friends and how thankful I was that I had them in my life.

It was not until later that Cyborg told me that I had suffered from several wounds, some of them being burns and a fractured leg but the most worrisome was the wound on my head which was the reason I had difficulty healing myself and the reason why I was in critical condition until and unless I woke up.

He advised me to not move out of the med bay for at least till tomorrow and that for at least three weeks (depending on my healing) I was to not take part in fighting crime. The latter to which I protested relentlessly but my friends were firm on this decision and I ultimately gave up when Starfire gave me her watery eyes.

I sighed and my eyes started to become droopy, the medicine showing its effect so I leaned back in the pillows and Cyborg ushered everyone out of the room seeing my state, Starfire gave me a huge but gentle hug. Well the gentlest she could be and left. Cyborg and Beastboy followed suit with the former making promises of waffles for breakfast and the latter with of a protein filled vegan breakfast at which Cyborg hit his head as they both walked out playfully fighting.

Now only Richard was left. With him only in the room my mask had no meaning; he was my best friend, my leader and the one who I trusted most in the world. He knew about my feelings for the archer and he knew all the pain I suffered because of it.

The pain of loving someone who could never see me that way, who could never think of me in that way, who could never return my feelings.

We sat in silence for a while, the beeping of the heart monitor being the only sound in the room when I asked in a low voice “Did he call?”

A small, quiet ‘no’ was my answer and I chuckled painfully, a couple of tears welling up in my eyes as I heard what my best friend had to add “Maybe he didn’t get the message…or maybe-”

“He doesn’t care.” My dejected admission stole all the words out of his mouth and he stared at me with pity, which I hated. I don’t need anybody’s pity or sympathy. So before he could say anything I looked at him and whispered, my voice coming out shakier than I would have liked “I am t-tired.”

He saw the turmoil underneath my facade like he always did, and left after wishing me a good night. I closed my eyes, hoping for sleep to take me away from the nightmares of reality.

0O0

Days passed as my body was recovering from its injuries unlike my heart which still remained broken, breaking more with each day passing when he didn’t call.

My friends noticed this as they constantly tried to divert my mind to other matters. Richard would ask me to help him in battle strategies, Starfire would make me watch some show that was trending and Cyborg would just talk with me, carefully avoiding any topic which may hurt me.

But the most puzzling of all was Beastboy, who would transform into a kitten and just lay next to me, napping or lightly purring as I gave him scratches, just offering me his support and comfort. And that was just what I needed; as much as I appreciated the efforts of all my friends, I looked forward to Beastboy’s company the most.

The shapeshifter was the only one of my friends who could understand my pain, the pain of loving someone who could never love you back again. And ever since Terra refused to recognize him, he has carried that pain in his heart; which I can often feel and now relate to.

And it was on one of the days when Beastboy was lying next to me in his cat form while I read when he entered the room, and my breathe hitched in my throat and my heart beats slowed down.

His somehow always impeccable red hair were messy, as though he had run his hand through it a lot; his gorgeous emerald eyes were hidden by his domino mask but even that mask couldn’t hide his anger as his face was flushed and his chest was heaving.

“I need to speak to you Raven” he said, his lips tight and sporting a frown which only deepened as he looked at the changeling next to me and said “Alone.”

Beastboy didn’t say anything; he lightly curled his tail around my hand while staring at the archer, showing his support. He slowly turned and looked at me in question and I lightly nodded my head so he untangled his tail from me, making me suddenly feel so empty and alone, and jumped on the ground and walked out of the room to give us privacy but not before glaring at the archer.

“What is it Speedy?” I asked not looking at him, which seemed to anger him even more as he stomped in my direction till he stood in front of me, his stance intimidating and furious. But I couldn’t bear to look at him. Just being in the same room with him was suffocating me. It was reminding me of what I couldn’t have, what I was not good enough for.

“Do you mind explaining to me, why I found out from Aqualad that you are injured instead of you telling me this yourself?” he seethed. I didn’t say anything and focused my attention on the wall behind him.

He clouded my senses, everything about him was overwhelming me. His extreme and very loud emotions were impacting my empathy, making me unable to think about anything but him.

I stayed silent, unable to say anything with his anger clouding his senses and now fueling my own. “Tell me Raven!” He screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Why did you not tell me? Am I NOTHING to you? Don’t I have the right to know, if my best friend is injured? You are an empath right? Then why do you not care about anyone’s emotions but your own! Why-”

This was the breaking point for me.

I could feel my magic waiting to erupt from my being, my second pair of eyes waiting to open and my demonic heritage wanting to overpower my human self.

“Shut up!” I hissed, my voice laced with my demon’s “You don’t get to speak to me this way, especially after everything that has happened between us.”

My heart ached again, thinking about the day when our relationship changed forever. My demon retreating in the deepest depths of my being as my pain overshadowed everything else.

“You are asking me that why didn’t I tell you about my condition but why weren’t you there for me when all this happened, when I needed you?” his eyes widened at my question.I could feel his anger drain out of his body as everything he said that day and his reason for not being there for me dawned on him.

He shamefully hung his head, the anger seemingly forgotten as he said in a voice just above a whisper “S-she…”

I laughed, cutting him off; of course it was because of her. I cursed myself for thinking that he had another reason for not being there for me. “So don’t accuse me of not caring about anybody else’s emotions, when it was you who had never cared about mine...You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.”

A tear slipped down my eye as I looked at him saying what I promised to myself would be my last words to him, the man who was my friend, my first love, Roy. “And now I will make sure that I never need you again.” And now he will always be Speedy to me, a fellow titan.

Fin.

Please Read and Review.

Thank you.

#raven #speedyrae #roy harper #royrae #teen titans #angst #unrequited feelings #hurt #dc #dc comics #fanfiction

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life-rewritten · 4 years

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SPOOKY SEASON! An ode to Mo Dao Zu Shi: one of the best BL story created!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! One last Halloween post and it's about one of my favourite pieces of media in the world of BL, romance, and supernatural stories. Roll your eyes because once again I'm talking about Mo Dao Zu Shi (The grandmaster of demonic cultivation) I mean already with the demons, and cultivation is already hinting why this is Halloween themed, and trust me MDZ has much more than that: from zombies to ghosts, to magical instruments and weapons, and we love our fantasy cultivation sects and clans. Anyhoo, I am here to write a fun post another verdict/review on each of the adaptations available so far for MDZ, yeh you heard me I've listened, read and watched all versions of this masterpiece, and I'm here to tell you to go and do the same for Halloween. Also in case, you haven't heard MTX (the author of MDZ) has another show on its way TODAY! And that's the magnificent, the excellent and incredible Heaven's Official Blessing after marathoning MDZ do that too.

As always with my verdicts: we have ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these again?

Country: China Genre: Danmei, Supernatural, Action, Fantasy, Romance, Comedy, BL, Horror,

1.The Book

We begin with the one that started it all. The reason for my devotion and love for this world, for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wang Ji. My heart hasn't stopped loving this book experience. And at first, it wasn't easy to understand all the logic and terms needed to know for this world of cultivation and sects and clans, and magical skills. But once I got the hang of it (maybe after reading it three times I wonder how I had time to do this by the way), this is a book that I keep on returning to, crying to, and just breaking down into a mess too. This book is the most original source for the love story of Wangxian and to be honest its a masterpiece. Now onto the pros and cons, I guess about this adaptation.

Pro:

First, I would say that this is the most non censored version of MDZ, meaning China couldn't mute the romance or delete scenes because it's the original written story. The romance between Wangxian stands out and makes your heart go through a lot of emotions, from frustration at Wei Wuxian not realising how he feels for Wang Ji, to pain because of Wang Ji's perceived unrequited feelings for so long, to happiness when they're just together, to confusion at some drunk scenes and then to all-out shock as the story reveals its self to the villains, the background of Weiying's death and more.

The introduction to all these characters, all of them have a role in the story, all of them are important to keep an eye on, and they all grow and develop throughout the story as we find out more about their circumstances and their own perspective on Wei Wuxian.

Cons but not actual cons

The book is longggggg. The first time I read it I wondered when we would finally get a resolution or hint that Wei Wuxian finally understands what he's been feeling for sooo long, but it took forever and to be honest even though this is a con to me, it also is a positive for those who love slowwwww burns, and slow reveal to the background and development of Wangxians feelings for each other. There are many missions although essential to the world-building and the actual plot/mystery that at first seem so useless and not needed, but they are there for a purpose, and they do help us find out more clues about what's been going on and why Wei Wuxian was brought back from the dead.

The book is the most non censored version of MDZ, and so there are many questionable moments/questions about Non-consent that occur during moments when Wangxian are drunk. Honestly, these scenes are so weird to me, because they hold so much truth and revelations to Wangji's feelings for Weiying. After all, he's drunk and the most authentic version of himself. There are so many moments (like stealing chickens or showing him the bunnies) that make you just want to cry at his love Weiying and the pain he had to endure when he thought he was never coming back. Still, at the same time, there are many moments where you're like oh wow that escalated, and you feel just a tad discomfort at the idea of the non-con. But like I said these scenes are required for these two to really like give into what they've both been trying to push away or ignore, and it's nice to see how Weiying reacts to his feelings becoming uncontrollable and more prominent.

There are some moments in the book where things seem vague or unexplained (which the other sources did their own thing with), some characters who are mentioned but not really given enough detail, some plot details where it's not fully understood. However, I do think that because the book is already so long, the most critical information needed was there and the reveal of the mysteries were all done well. I think though that it's better to see how it materialises visually hence the other media adaptations.

Ratings: 4/5 -It's not easy to pick up the book and read, but I have so much fun returning to it and laughing along with Wei Wuxian's thoughts and ideas about Wang Ji.

2.The Manhua

I was so shook when I found out MDZ has a manhua. Mostly because China wouldn't really make it easy for the book adaptation to be honestly portrayed visually. But the manga shocked me, it is censored, but the writers and the artists are all so obsessed with this book and this couple that despite having to remove or edit some scenes, they draw some additional scenes and post it online so that international fans can still get to see these moments visually. That is incredible, and I'm so grateful that we have a team of people who respect and love the piece as much as the fans do.

Pros:

With any graphic novel/manga the art of MDZ is fantastic to see, the characters are brought to life with colour and also the inclusion of chibi drawings to make a moment incredibly cute or funny. Weiying is very naughty, so a chibi drawing of him makes us see him like how he's acting a child. I enjoy the manhua of MDZ so much, and I love how they drew each of the characters and the world.

Cons but not really cons:

I think, however, there are better visual sources for MDZ available that is more detailed in terms of characters and includes more information about the world-building. The plot also has to be condensed as well because you can't draw everything from the book. The manhua is also still in the works so, its a very slow upload and it will take years for it to be completed. But this is understandable, and I can't wait to read the full completed copy. If you hate reading and can't stand words, I think the manhua version is for you!

Ratings: 3.5/5 -It’s the waiting that lowered the ratings for me and the fact that I prefer other sources but I’m so grateful for the manhua.

3.The Show

The one that brought international fans like swarms to this story. Untamed shocked all of us in the BL community as the first time we heard about it, sure it was nice to see that Yibo was cast as Wang Ji, but even then his acting wasn't that profound or praised so we didn't care, and Zhan also seemed like an interesting choice for out Weiying. I think there were an outrage and confusion when we heard this was going to be censored and a bromance. It felt like it made no sense because there's no way really to edit the relationship and love of Wangxian, so people went into the show resentful and worried. But after 20 episodes, the anger, worry and upset were erased. Untamed is a masterpiece, and it blows my mind how censored it is but still not really censored? It deletes the questionable moments in the book but adds the essential parts even where we get to see Wang Ji's feelings (Though obviously not mentioned as feelings but respect). We get to watch Weiying realise how much he cherishes whatever he has with Wang Ji and how much he misunderstood the latter, and how much Wang Ji cared for him. The show as Netflix says is not about just friends. Still, it emphasises the connection between these two using subtext clues and symbolisms, and visual metaphors to make sure the audience knows that these two are soulmates and are meant for each other. Here are the other pros and cons of the show:

Pros:

The acting is incredible, like so good and I can't think of two people who were more suited for Wangxian, Yibo shocked me as Wang Ji because although I knew him (because of Kpop), I didn't really think he would pull of stoic but still vulnerable Wang Ji. He was good at showing the emotions of love and longing that has been connected with Wang Ji. Zhan was an excellent Wuxian, he made me smile, he made laugh, he made me so happy because of his mischievous aura, but he also played serious and emotional and resentful Wuxian well as well. I keep crying every time I see the death scene in the show because it's just so done well.The directors and producers who didn't care about hiding the relationship between these two, they still wanted to be respectful to the writer and the source, and they still wanted to show as much as possible that these two loved each other. For that, I'm so grateful and they did a brilliant job with what they could. The character arcs and development and depth; Its the way they took the other characters from the book and fleshed them out giving each of them more depth, more understanding, more dimensionality and more story connecting to our plot, and it broke my heart how much I loved everyone in this show. The actors all performed so well, and some gave me goosebumps at how well they portrayed their characters (Xue Yang!!) like stunning and just a great cast.The storyline was also written in an innovative way, the flashbacks were first shown to the audience, how Wangxian became Wangxian and so the audience felt every single hurt and pain that Wang Ji was feeling. We understood why he acted the way he did. The flashbacks also provided plot structure to the mystery and the actual plot of the show, it left clues, and we watched the villains become villains (secretly), we saw how some characters grew. Each of the arcs in the book was told in a way that it flowed together and made sense. Due to this way of structuring the plot the show became so much more profound in the way it messed with our emotions, every death mattered, and every character had their own story and importance to the audience.

Cons:

The censorship. I've praised how they overcame it, but it's still there, the ending of the show was done this way because of censorship and to be honest I still think everyone should read the book because there are moments where the romance of Wangxian is fun and memorable to see (the confession scene whilst it was done okay in the show because of censorship it doesn't hold as much oomph as it did in the book. Mainly because the events that happened before it was already so filled with angst and drama and the results of the confession Wangxian clinging onto each other despite being in danger is a must-see, the censorship is annoying because it shouldn't be there, it's something that whilst it did help with some stuff, it still feels like an insult to the piece, and it still doesn't sit well with me that China censors their BL. So its a con.

Ratings 5/5 I think I could spend so much time breaking down why Untamed is a masterpiece BL show, but all I can say is despite 50 episodes (longgg) it is worth the time and effort and if you watch BL, go see it.

4.The Audio

The audio for the MDZ is like my favourite thing in the world. I love Chinese audiobook dramas; it's an incredible experience to listen to. With MDZ, this is what the show would be if it wasn't censored. The actors for the audio drama are amazing, and I love them so much. The audio drama is three seasons with some extra scenes and it's incredible if you don't want to read the book, then just watch and listen to the audio drama because its the same story but its brought to life by the acting and storytelling. Also though there are some scenes removed, I think the audio drama is the next uncensored gem of MDZ that shows Wangxian's romance the best way possible. I squeal, and I laugh, and again I cry at every single moment; their first kiss, the inn scene, the confession (i spend time pausing it just to cry at how good it is) and more. I just love it, and I prefer it to reading the book. Other pros and cons:

Pros:

The story is structured and told properly, follows all the arcs and events in the book and brings them life by voice acting, and the music is incredible. It's nice to listen to and hear Weiying's thoughts and to also listen to an audible version of the book. The audio drama has all the pros from the book as well.

Cons:

Nothing much to say about the cons. It is not easy to attain the audio drama in English subs, its hard to download and store it, but once you overcome that it's great. I think the audio drama is the most difficult to obtain.

Ratings: My favourite adaptation 5/5

5.The Donghua

Lastly, we have the Donghua or the anime version of MDZ. What can I say about this, its brilliant, masterpiece, it's gorgeous. If you think the art for the manhua is good, the donghua takes it to a different level. The visuals are stunning, the animation is breath-taking, and the story is again following Untamed ways of censoring the story but making sure it doesn't remove the romantic connotations and symbolism to Wangxian. The donghua also follows Untameds way of starting with flashbacks to explain what happened to Weiying before it started. I have nothing else to say about how great this is. It's the same thing I've been saying about all these adaptations. The donghua though is the best visual masterpiece for MDZ, in my opinion.

Pros;

Packed full with symbolism and clues to the plot, it's detailed so well for the storyline and its an excellent way to tell this story. The music and ost for the donghua are also beautiful and gets me emotional each time I hear it.

Cons:

Censorship. That's it, that's what it always is. For me, I think the donghua is the most censored version of MDZ? Or maybe I just feel that way despite the subtext clues; I do feel irritated at the censorship in the donghua. Let's pray Heaven's official blessing overcomes that.

Ratings: 3.8/5 - I love it so much because of the visuals but apart from that I prefer other sources for MDZ. Still the best donghua that exists.

So here you have in an in-depth and messy conversation about one of my favourite media pieces to existing right now in BL. I think I will never stop singing praises at MXT for creating this story and I think there's nothing else I rather do than just spend times when I need a distraction watching, listening or reading this story again and again. What about you all. What do you feel about MDZ? What pros and cons do you have for each adaptation? Which is your favourite. And have you been able to get any rest when we know that Heaven's official blessing is out TODAY!! Let me know your thoughts. Happy Halloween, Enjoy it.

#mo dao zu shi #the untamed #mdzs #wrpup #FVete #october #halloween #wei ying #wei wuxain #lan wangji #mdzs donghua #wwx #lwj #chen qing ling #cql #bl series #danmei

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homeformyheart · 3 years

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first kid vs. last kid - edward x f!mc (ds)

author’s note: thank you for the ask! i debated for a long time whether or not to write this one because i hadn’t written for DS before and i haven’t written anything involving kids/family. and the prompt itself naturally lends itself to fluff and so overall this was harder than normal XD.

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. series/pairing: distant shores – edward x f!mc (peyton bellamy) rating/warnings: 13+ word count: 1.6k

first vs. last prompts / 4. first kid vs. last kid

first kid

peyton gripped the white stick until her knuckles paled, her fingers purposefully covering the little window that mocked her with two pink lines. she squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears of panic prickling her eyelids to stay away, and trying to force her body to breathe.

as if on cue, the pressure on her lungs gave way and she gulped down as much air as she could, feeling it push through her body like the water pressure on a firehose. once she was done gasping, her mind wandered and led her to the poseidon ii, where she welcomed how the sun beat down on her face as she balanced her way around the rocking deck. her mind continued flipping through her memories like it was her picflix streaming list, pausing every so often to play a 30-second trailer.

she didn’t fight it when her mind took her to the bustling town square in tiburon, where she welcomed the mindless chatter of pointless gossip from the townsfolk. and of course, she pressed pause when her mind took her to that island with the dolphins and shimmering blue waves, where she let herself swim alongside a man who seemed more and more like a dream with every passing day.

she took slow, deep breaths through her nose and let her mind wander back to that island, the beach, and edward sitting beside her. and she knew, even though she wasn’t ready to really think about becoming a mother, that this baby was hers and edward’s – solid proof that he was real, that their love is real.

1 year later

peyton wrapped her arms tightly around the blankets encasing her son, holding him against her chest as he nursed. as soon as he was done, edward gently cradled their child to burp him before laying him down in a makeshift crib they built with materials on the ship.

when she appeared on the docks in tiburon only three months after giving birth, peyton didn’t expect she’d get to stay for very long. the compass had called to her frequently throughout her pregnancy, the weeks that passed in-between trips translated to months in the past. thankfully, time travel didn’t seem to have lasting impacts on her pregnancy, with the exception of amplified morning sickness from constantly being on the water. peyton was also grateful that the compass didn’t call her during or immediately after she gave birth; even though edward would’ve wanted to be there, she was relieved that modern healthcare would surround her at such a terrifying time.

“edward, can we talk?” she said quietly once it was clear their son was asleep.

“of course, my love. what’s on your mind?” edward asked, moving to sit next to her on the bed and wrap his arm around her waist.

peyton leaned into his side. “i don’t know how much longer i’ll get to stay. i want us to be prepared.”

edward slowly tucked some loose hair behind peyton’s ear before locking eyes with her. “what do you mean?”

she felt something lodge in her throat at the same time the tears started prickling behind her eyes. “edward – in case i get sent back, i want you to raise our son. i don’t want to force him to grow up in two very different worlds, it would be so disruptive and i don’t want you to be alone.”

“no, a child should be with his mother. he needs you and you will be able to make sure he grows up in a safer environment. pirating is no life for a child,” edward said firmly.

peyton shook her head vigorously, trying to keep her voice low so as not to wake their son. “a son needs his father. he needs you.”

edward looked at her with such softness, peyton felt her heart break as the weight of her reality settled in – the reality that she may not have a future with the man she loved.

“you must do what is best for you and our son. your whole future is ahead of you. and your time would be better for him,” he said softly, cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand.

“i don’t want to leave you. i love you, edward,” peyton said between soft sobs, her body starting to feel weighed down by fatigue.

“and i love you from the bottom of my heart, miss peyton bellamy,” edward whispered into her ear as he held her tight.

as she drifted off to sleep, peyton vaguely remembered that edward hadn’t responded to her request that he raise their son should she get sent back to the future. it didn’t matter though, because when she woke up, she was in her own time, and alone.

last kid

five years. peyton could hardly believe that it had been five years since she last traveled through time. it was something they didn’t talk about, out of concern that speaking their fears out loud might tempt fate. superstitions aside, peyton was grateful that she was back in time with edward and the crew that had become her family. it honestly felt as though she had returned home – with charlie and ginny echoing those sentiments ten-fold.

she was incredibly grateful that their son was only two years old when she returned. time travel was finnicky but at least she hadn’t disappeared for too long in edward’s time, lest their son’s implicit memory of her fade. even though for her it had only been a few months, their dynamic had changed significantly considering edward had been raising their son on the ship as a single father. it took some time for them to adjust to a new normal with each other given the constant threat of time travel taking her away again and a son to raise.

but to peyton, the challenges and hardships were nothing compared to the pure joy she felt at being with the loves of her life. she would bend over backwards and adapt as well as she could to a pirate life as a mother and wife if it meant she could be with them forever.

for edward, he had to unlearn the hardened ways in which he kept his son close and the protective harshness he deployed to anyone who threatened those defenses. despite his nightmares and worries, their son took to peyton like a moth to a flame, a true representation of what a mother means to a son and vice-versa.

she watched from where she was sitting against a tree as edward played with their son, whose laughter was so carefree and infectious, peyton felt herself getting emotional each time she heard it. edward looked up and made eye contact with her, giving her that loving smile she knew she would never get used to seeing.

peyton didn’t realize she had become lost in thought until edward cleared his throat gently from behind her. she looked over and gave him a warm smile, noticing that their son was preoccupied with chasing butterflies a short distance away.

“what is on your mind, my love?” he asked, sitting down next to her.

she gave him a long, contemplative look. “it’s been five years since i’ve last traveled, and i… i want to expand our family.”

if she took edward by surprise, the only tell was the miniscule movement of his left eyebrow.

when he stayed silent, peyton continued, “i want to have another child with you, edward.”

“are you sure? what about–?”

peyton cut him off with a shake of her head. “i don’t think we’ll have to worry about it anymore. i can’t explain it, but i haven’t been able to sense the compass in years. i think i’m here to stay and I want to grow our family.”

edward touched his forehead to hers. “i would love nothing more, mrs. mortemer.”

3 years later

“mama! papa! can we go explore over there by the trees?”

peyton put a hand on her swollen belly. “yes, but be careful darling. and watch your brother!” she called out.

her oldest son grabbed the hand of his younger brother’s, slowing his gait down to match his brother’s waddle. edward chuckled as he wrapped an arm around peyton’s waist, tucking her into his side and giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

“those two will be absolute terrors for the crew to keep track of in a couple of years,” he said, his voice thick with affection.

peyton turned to her husband to give him a soft kiss. “that’s why i really want this last one to be a girl.”

“and if it’s not? do you want to keep trying until we have a girl? you know i love having a family with you,” he said softly.

“as much as i’d like to have another female in our house, i think this little one will have to be our last,” she said as edward laid a hand on her belly.

the experience she had during the last pregnancy and birth, which she had to endure without the advances in medicine from the future, was more than enough for one lifetime. but she really wanted a little girl.

“let us hope and pray that this one is the little girl that will complete our family then,” edward said as they walked hand-in-hand after their two sons.

* * * * * mentions: @raleigh-edward; @khoicesbyk permatag: @withbeautyandrage; @agentnolastname; @freckles-spangledvampire;

#choices #reposting for new blog #choices fanfic #choices fanfics #distant shores #pb choices #playchoices #playchoices fanfiction #not twc #my writing #edward mortemer #peyton bellamy #edward mortermer x mc #choices distant shores #choices ds #my prompt fill #choices prompt fills #anon

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punsandfuturekingsmen · 3 years

Text

Which paranormal being are you?

The Ghost

You walk unseen. You speak but no one listens. Your footsteps no longer make a sound, and your heart can no longer bear to beat. However, you do not walk alone. The past walks along side you, keeping you company though you beg it to leave you be. The only shadow you cast belongs to your pain and clings to your every move. If you could just get someone to look at you, really look at you, maybe then you could be free. You scream and scream but still they do not see. You’re starting to fear that you may be cursed to scream forever.

The Shapeshifter

You would break yourself into a thousand pieces, shatter every bone, and pry off every inch of skin to be what you think others want (what they need). You’ve become so many different things over the years. At this point, you’ve been everything except at peace. You conform and change and adapt and desert entire pieces of yourself, but when will it be enough? When has it ever been enough for them, and when has it ever made you whole again? Speaking of, who are you anymore? Do you even know? How long has it been since you’ve recognized the face in the mirror. Are “you” still “you?”

Muse's reaction:

“I’d say something, but I know if I do, my friends would come out of the woodwork to fight me. They’re good like that. I’m grateful, even if....yeah.”

Tagged by: @frenzys-furnace

Tagging: @deepbluevi for faith and @bluescarfvivi !

#tag meme thingy #gracias for the tag #about arthur #Ectoimp Icon

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redheadedafrican · 2 years

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Vermilion, not Scarlet

You know the weirdest part,

It makes sense that she's more the male Scarlet Tanager than the female. Nothing subtle about her, "unmistakable in summer—bright red with black wings and tail", "coloration is intense and deeply red", "active during the day but often stay out of sight", "look for them in large, undisturbed tracts of forest". They're not even trying to mask that the bird observed her patterns and adapted accordingly.

She comes from a long line of intelligence, grace and beauty couple that with a fire and scorn for humanity as we are that equal parts cannot be doused. Water simply acts to nourish the flames. Her red feathers heralded by all, a sight and a comfort to any eyes while the black wings keep a necessary distance from all for her "poor impoverished heart". She that despite insecurity and slight anger issues is meant to transcend all limited understanding of what it entails to be human. No colloquial or dictionary definition is sufficient I kid you not.

Captivated by her already? No? I proceed then.

I don't know how many of her faithfuls you've met but each one can testify that she always walks into your life when you least expect it, but precisely when you need it. See my life is pretty sealed off but this girl, with both a skeleton key and brute force sufficient to break down any door, used neither and simply used the sky roof, as if held open simply for her. Scaled the walls and rappelled her way in, grabbed me by the waist and shot back up, above those walls. My first taste of the sun was on that roof, above those walls. How could I ever go back in. Her methods aren't conventional by any definition of the word but my are they effective. Undeniable is the impact she leaves on you, like a scar that reminds you of the kidney that was donated to you, purifying your life, life just isn't, without it.

I started this story to tell the tale of the girl who saved me, more accurately, she who showed me salvation is available to all. Not the bible salvation no, but it also could be, I don't know, sometimes she speaks in tongues then cover's up her inter-dimensional lingua by calling it Sanskrit. Like we don't already know she's speaking the language of the gods. The language of all understanding.

Its the closest thing to a deity I am yet to experience, and by virtue of that you now know that she might be extraterrestrial, so I can't give you her name for safety purposes. Also because yaal can't handle her and she already has a hard enough time with the few humans she's encountered, case in point me, I'm a pain.

This life neither diminishes nor adds value to her being. Complete in a sense, a nurturer, she who cares so much, born into a world that badly needed her and hopefully the small handful of other people like her that are out there. They that are truly human. She and her kind are the only ones who deserve a piece of existence on this floating rock, in this mass of stars and gases and dark matter.

Red, I truly cannot find the words to define what you are because you surpass my understanding in endless ways, but for you I am eternally grateful. Hopeful that you find all that you seek. Bewildered at your every action. Amazed at your compassion and consideration for what the rest of us would consider insignificant. This world doesn't deserve you but you deserve every ounce of joy and beauty that it has to offer.

Forever yours.

Love Ace

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goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 3 years

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hey I was wondering what do you think of hannibal, both generally and also that ending?

oh god that’s rather complicated. while I’ve watched the full show several months ago, my memory is but a sieve. this time around I only watched season three so I’ll be mostly focusing on that.

but generally... I like hannibal a lot though I think it’s kind of unwieldy and sprawling?

I enjoy its themes, its aesthetic, and the characters’ emotional journeys. I also love the source material and fanfictionesque reinterpretations are my favorite sort of adaptation. the role reversal element is my absolute favorite aspect of season two.

the consistently artsy murders begin to be a bit bullshit after awhile, but they had a vision they were going for and I respect that.

the writing style is notoriously esoteric and overwrought. (the “tell me will” meme khfhgsggdf) I think the show did often have something to say but it was just bullshitting frequently enough to get grating. I adore it when characters get to sit down and have pretentious heart to hearts, that’s everything I want ever. but I just wish there was more natural dialogue in between. not everything needs to be dressed up in obscure metaphors and counter intuitive phrasing. obfuscating what your characters are talking about doesn’t make it more high brow, it just makes it annoying to parse lol.

a big deal breaker for many people is that the show’s also intensely unkind to its female characters. and I think it probably became aware of this around season three given that alana, margot, and freddie are all relatively safe (the former two only after the verger arc is resolved, but still) and how awesome molly is.

that underlying bias is still there though and is evident in how bella’s mercy killed without a thought (or her consent), everything about chiyoh, and how molly and walter pretty much exist as a single unit just to be a family for will to lose. an issue with hannibal is that it doesn’t take its female characters as seriously. and so while it tries to lean towards more equal opportunity violence, or giving us more diversity in its female driven subplots, that fundamental disregard is still there. it shines through, and it is glaring.

anyway, I’ve said it before but imo the single weakest point of... everything, is hannibal himself. I love his characterization and how mads mikkelson portrays him. but the narrative is simply too enamored with him in a way that becomes frustrating. he’s infallible, and invincible, and it’s ridiculous! the larger than life portrayal is fine, initially. but those kinds of villains, you build them up to break them down. there isn’t any catharsis if they’re just perfect, evil cardboard cutouts forever. and hannibal is just that. he barely had any development or progress. his one weakness seems to be his obsession with will— and occasionally the petty need to have the last laugh/have pissing contests with anyone who might try to upstage him, but I don’t think the narrative really acknowledges or even realizes that that is a weakness. the narrative framing is frequently just as petty as he is, so I really doubt there’s much self awareness there.

anyway I liked the ending a lot! but imo it’s also not a positive one as opposed to more of a psychological unspooling. I feel bad for will? and I want him to be happy? which isn’t a thing I think he can necessarily achieve while in hannibal’s clutches. but as a conclusion to the show, it’s a satisfying one for me.

I think there’s a tremendous amount of despair in that final bloody embrace and choice to throw them both off the cliff.

over the course of the show we see will grow to trust hannibal, to hating him for everything he’s putting him through. and then eventually coming out of the whole “gaslit to hell and back and framed for serial murder” ordeal and realizing that that fostered codependency is still there. he grapples with that through a lot of season two, dithering between turning him in/helping him be captured, and letting hannibal go. he ultimately decides on the latter (apparently on an impulse) and that results in so much bloodshed and misery. clearly it isn’t an option. but once hannibal’s finally captured, his bullshit profiling is apparently still imperative to solving serial killer cases lol and he’s *still* pulling all the strings from inside his cell! neither of these outcomes have been any good. it leaves will without real options.

I think it’s ambiguous if the breaking point is more genuine codependency/realizing he’s just as obsessed with hannibal as vice versa or the fact that hannibal almost killed his entire family and will probably continue to terrorize them all lmfao. in all likelihood it’s a mix of both. but there is a breaking point and bedelia outright states the dilemma: can’t live with him, can’t live without him. so will opts to go down with him instead. and I love that! it’s very cathartic and upsetting and fraught.

the very first time I saw the post credit scene I was pretty mad about it bc bedelia was my favorite character but at this point I’m desensitized. I get why they went for a shock value scene and by that point their cast was dwindling.

but yeah that scene leaves many interesting questions. how the fuck did they survive, did they both survive? hallucinating your best buddy is def a recurring theme in this lol. is will cool with the cannibalism? what’s the plan?? what happened to molly???

they’re questions I don’t necessarily need answered though. I’d like to see a season four but I’m also happy with where it ended, even if it’s kind of gutting for will to end up stuck with hannibal lmao

#do I dare tag this? ah fuck it #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #sorry for the essay I was trying to be brief lmao #unfortunately tumblr mobile doesn’t allow for read more cuts #also I am forever angry about abigail #I’ll die mad about it #I’m mostly just not touching on it because a) rage b) it’s more of a season one and two thing and I mostly kept myself to season three only #i ramble sometimes #long post #*writer's cap*#all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared

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nhatlynguyennln · 3 years

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HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE: DIFFERENCES BETWEEN NOVEL AND MOVIE

New Post has been published on http://www.ngoisaokpop.com/howls-moving-castle-differences-between-novel-and-movie/

HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE: DIFFERENCES BETWEEN NOVEL AND MOVIE

HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE: DIFFERENCES BETWEEN NOVEL AND MOVIE

Link Video:

youtube

Opening

Following the resounding success of the 2001 animated classic Spirited Away, director Hayao Miyazaki continued to release a Japanese animated fantasy Howl’s moving castle. The film was inspired by the 1986 novel of the same name by British author Diana Wynne Jones.

Most Studio Ghibli fans turn to the book after watching the movie. This caused a little disappointment, a bit of “disillusionment” for the ladies who put too many dreams into the handsome wizard Howl in the movie. Although both the novel and the movie revolve around the two main characters – Sophie and Howl, there are huge differences in the storyline and character construction that cause both the novel and the film to turn in two directions.

Stay tuned with ASK KPOP until the end of the video to see what made “romantic fiction” fans disillusioned with the difference between novels and movies Howl’s moving castle.

Body

Sophie Hatter, a girl born into a family of hat makers, does not believe that luck will come to her and she will do something great in her life. She decided she would spend the rest of her life looking after the hat shop her father left. But her life changes after being cursed by the Witch of the Waste, turning her into an old woman, and worse yet, she can’t tell anyone about it. Fearing that her family would no longer recognize her, Sophie set out to find a way to cure the curse, and then arrived at Wizard Howl’s castle. Since then there is a big difference between books and movies, especially the plot and character lines.

The difference in the story between the novel and the movie

Because the novel Howl’s moving castle was written for children by writer Diana Wynne Jones, these factors such as : magic ,humor, fantasy come first. The content of the novel mainly tells about Sophie’s journey to break the curse. In that journey, Sophie has discovered the true strength of herself and the good qualities of those around her. However, when it was adapted to the big screen, director Hayao Miyazaki incorporated many lofty messages about love, peace, and anti-war.

Throughout the movie, we see a fight break out between Ingary (the land of Howl and Sophie is in) and the neighboring country, whereas there is no fierce battle in the original novel.

The whole movie revolves around the theme of anti-war, and its true villain is the pointless war and cause the loss. However, the original story directs the reader towards Sophie’s journey to find herself, how Sophie realizes her worth, which is partly through the movie. Coming to the movie, you will experience the brutal combat scene, the dark battleships .As for the book, Howl has to confront the Witch of the Waste and her powerful fire demon. The two missions of the movie and the novel have different message stories with different audiences, both great stories with their own merits.

The difference in the character’s personality between the novel and the movie

The second most highlighted difference between the novel and the movie is the characters. The characters in the book and in the movie are transformed from the original. Some minor characters have been removed or merged together with other characters. Characters with significant changes include:

(Howl)

Howl in the movie is a perfect version, a “Prince Charming” with many advantages in personality: courteous, gentle, and also the hero of fighting to protect Sophie.If you are familiar with this Howl image then Please be mentally prepared before reading the novel of the same name. Real name’s Howl is Howell Jenkins, from Wales. It is mentioned in the book that the castle door leads to different places according to the color on the door, and the blackness opens into a dark night. However, the side when that black curtain was Wales in the 1980s, with modern equipment such as cars and computers . This is not mentioned in the movie.

In terms of personality, Howl in the novel is actually a “lady-killer” who flirts with so many beautiful ladies and any girl will not escape by him, until they fall in love with him, he leaves without leaving a trace. This was also the source of his trouble with the Witch of the Waste Throughout the novel, Howl spends most of his time dressing and grooming in order to win the hearts of beautiful girls, including her sister Sophie. The rest of the time, Howl sulked and acted like a child beside Sophie. Howl in the novel does not want to tie and always tries to avoid responsibility. But the more we read, the more we like Howl in the novel, because his personality is especially funny and witty. “I’m a coward. Only way I can do something this frightening is to tell myself I’m not doing it.” Throughout the novel, we see only a Howl chasing the girls, his words in the last chapter confuse readers and other characters: Howl is still searching and saving people from being lost from the Witch. Meanwhile, he tells himself “I’m not doing it”.

Howl in the movie gets rid of Howl’s flaws of the novel. Because the movie’s message is hind-minded about peace protection and anti-war, a heroic character is needed to be able to send the message to the audience. The hero in the movie is Howl, he is idealized in the film, becomes a hero fighting for peace, denouncing the destructive power of war. When the court asked Howl to go to war, Howl refused ,not for his cowardness. He knew from which side the war was coming from, then the end was like that for everyone, just bring pain only. However, at night, Howl quietly turns into a monster out to fight alone, fighting against planes and monsters that both sides release to tear each other up. It is an ideal, incredibly romantic image of a hero fighting evil, fighting for peace, and fighting for the things he loves. In the end, Howl in both the novel and movie has to face Howl’s problems and settle it.

(Sophie)

Sophie in the novel has red hair, stubborn, straightforward, and always seems angry after being cursed. She sees cleaning as a way to forget about the problem she is facing. She often talks to hats, clothes, objects around and this brings miracles, even life to them. Meanwhile, Sophie in the movie has brown hair and is much softer. She also knows how to control her emotions better, and she cleans out of order. However, Sophie in the movie has no magical powers. This is most noticeable in the part where Sophie meets Turnip-Head. Turnip-Head in the story is an inanimate scarecrow, but gets up and follows Sophie after hearing her talk. In the movie, Turnip-Head had life when Sophie met him. While the-story Sophie was very scared of Turnip Head and wanted to chase him many times, the Sophie-movie was friendly, even grateful to the Turnip-Head.

Sophie in the story has sent a message: “When we are young, let us go out and explore ourselves, we will find our power hidden and know what our strength is. and where is our limit. ” That is a very precious meaning that Sophie’s journey to find herself brings back.

(Author)

Author Diana Wynne Jones observed that Howl and Sophie on-screen seemed “softer and more noble than their characters in my book.” In the movie, we really liked how Howl became “lost” as he transformed into a giant crow in battles and gradually “couldn’t return.” Meanwhile, Sophie’s curse fades more and more as she becomes stronger to save Howl and to heal herself. These details are not included in the book. However, I also want to say that Howl and Sophie in the book seem more real and that the quarrel between the two is what makes me appreciate their feelings more; love each other and learn to accept each other’s imperfections.

(Witch)

She was once a charming, powerful woman. Howl in the novel once chased and abandoned her. Both the story and the movie show Howl once captured a shooting meteor and gave it his heart in exchange for power, which is Calcifer. However, the sorceress in the novel cursed Howl to complete a list of things to do and they slowly led Howl back to her hand. In the movie, the witch tries to cast a curse on Howl, but he easily removes it. In the end, she lost her magic and became a pitiful, harmless old woman.

()

There are also some minor differences in the side characters. Sophie in the novel has two younger sisters, Lettie and Martha. Lettie is the younger sister sent to learn magic, and Martha is the assistant at the bakery. These two sisters exchanged looks and names in the beginning. Lettie is a huge support character in the series, even part 2 is present. However, the film only mentions Lettie – the sister at the bakery, and she can only say a sentence or two to Sophie and finish. Howl has an apprentice. In the book, he names Michael Fisher , a teenager. And, in the movie he names Markl , a boy. In the story, Suliman is the Royal Mage, male and missing. On screen, Suliman is a female magician who taught Howl before, and she is a bit mean.

Ending

“Howl’s Moving Castle” is a film with a stunning image and a beautiful European context, but it does not lose the Japanese culture, oriental styles of Ghibli. The good soundtrack both “The Promise With The World” and “Merry Go Round of Life” are great tunes but for us “Merry Go Round of Life” is still more beautiful, the scene of Howl holding Sophie’s hand , two people walking in the air together forever is a very beautiful, very romantic scene that is hard to describe in words.

Howl’s Moving Castle is not just a love story, a magical adventure and heart-fluttering romance, but also a story of growth and a journey to find oneself. Whether it’s a novel or a movie, the film’s meaningful message is expressed in tolerance, forgiveness after struggles, hatred, and curse. In addition, the extraordinary life energy of the people who have suffered many injuries in the film overcoming all the difficulties to achieve a happy destination is also the message that the filmmakers send to the audience.

#HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE

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korra-the-red-lion · 3 years

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Unnatural Affairs. Chapter 6: Decision.

(Ally)

Monday, 5:30pm.

I sat at the library table, sitting with Michael and Mags. We had to work on a group project for our Drama/English class, and we were lucky enough to choose our own partners. Michael was an obvious pick since we became fast friends, and Mags and I got along really well.

Mags reached into the chip bag and pulled a decent handful. “Does anyone else hate this project?” they asked as they shoved chips in their mouth.

I nodded as Michael tilted his head back with a groan. “It’s like Kinkly just wants everyone to love drama as much as he does, but we don’t,” said Michael.

The project we were working on is out of three options, and we decided to go for option #2, which was take a scene and adapt it. After that, we had to do an analyse as to why we picked the scene we did and what it meant. We hadn’t even picked a scene yet as all the drama books sat opened around us as we read through them. Some of them were just so boring.

I reached over and grabbed a few fries out of the McDonald’s bag. We just bought a bunch of food and forced ourselves to work through this until we at least had something we could work with.

“I just don’t get why he couldn’t at least pick something more interesting,” said Mags as they picked up our copy of Miss Julie, “or at least recent.”

“Now, Mags, don’t be ridiculous,” tsked Michael. “It’s not good if it was written before 1990, and even that’s pushing it.”

We laughed at that as I reached for Medea. “Maybe we could do something different with it, though. Like, what if we genderbend a character or something? I know it might change how the scene is portrayed, but at least it won’t be incredibly cishet and male.” I gave Michael an apologetic smile, who just shrugged.

“Don’t forget white,” he added mildly, batting his eyelashes at me. I snorted, he got me there.

“Not a terrible idea, Holland,” said Mags appreciatively. “I mean, it is one of the only ideas we’ve had so far, though.”

The misery that just blew through the group was nearly palpable. It was clear that we weren’t getting anywhere. And to top it off, we all hated this class and the project. Motivation was at an all time low.

“Maybe we should take a break,” I suggested. When the others agreed, I got up to use the washroom. As I was walking towards it, I could hear the sounds of sirens. Yokeville was a small town, so the sounds of sirens were a little uncommon. Still, sirens were just a part of daily living. It wasn’t until I was walking back that I could see the flashing lights.

Confused yet intrigued, I headed to the little café in the library, where there were massive windows that you could see a good portion of the campus from. The lights were flashing through, and a few students had wandered over to see what was going on like I did.

There was an ambulance and a couple of police cars parked in front of the Athletic Centre. Huh, I wondered why that was. Obviously, someone must have called 9-1-1, but the question was why?

That question was answered quickly as all of our phones went off with an alarm all at once. My heart raced a little as I read that they may be a dangerous individual on campus and that we were to remain where we were. The library staff raced to lock the door and told us to get away from the windows.

I went back to our table. Michael looked over at me and gently took my hand when he saw it trembling. “Hey, we’re okay.”

“But someone else might not be,” I whispered.

He had nothing to say then. We sat in a tense quiet. Students around us where texting and calling their parents to let them know what was going on. I thought about doing the same but thought I should maybe wait until we had more information. I didn’t want my mom to worry.

I could feel my chest constricting a little as the tension settled in. My stomach twisted into a knot as I settled against Michael, taking comfort in his presence. Mags reached over and squeezed my hands, and I gave them a grateful smile.

I wasn’t sure how long it had been since we locked the doors, as we decided to watch Pitch Perfect on Netflix to pass the time, but all of sudden there was a thumping that caused a panicked whisper to spread throughout the library. The elderly lady who worked behind the desk cautiously approached, holding up the fire axe as her weapon of choice. It turned out one of the officers was knocking, and she let him in.

She told us all after that we were going to be escorted back to our residences, and that situation had been dealt with. What gave me the most anxiety about this whole thing was that they didn’t tell us what happened. We saw EMS, and the police had been looking for a dangerous individual. Was someone hurt? Who was this person? I couldn’t help but look towards the Athletic Centre as I walked back to my residence.

I wondered if Lyn was okay…

XXX

Classes were cancelled for the week.

An email was sent out explaining that some deranged sociopath had broken into the Athletic Centre and attacked one of the swimmers, but they had been apprehended by the RCMP. I had sent a panicked text to Lyn, and felt my chest loosen when she responded back saying she was okay, but only a little.

Someone had still been attacked. My stomach wouldn’t settle, however. I’m not sure what it was, but I felt like something wasn’t sitting right with this whole thing.

Going against my better judgement, I left my dorm in the afternoon. Sarah had gone home for the week, seeing as we had no classes, and her parents were very worried. Mine were too, but I told them I was okay to stay here. Something in my gut told me I needed to stay. I walked down the concrete path that led to the Athletic Centre and stared at it from afar.

There was something off. The whole energy surrounding the place seemed…dark. I took my glasses off and played with the arm between my fingers. Why would anyone attack someone in a locker room? It seemed so random. Not that a madman with a knife ever made sense, but this was especially strange. You could have gone anywhere on campus or in town, so why there?

Then my mind went back to the blood shower incident and I felt my heart drop in my stomach. If something bizarre already happened there once, who was to say it couldn’t happen again? Maybe it wasn’t a person attacking a student, but a spirit? But wait, they claimed that they arrested someone. But was that the truth?

Without realizing, I found myself standing in front of the building. It was locked down for the day as the RCMP continued with their investigation. I felt the urge to go inside and see the locker room myself spike, but I fought it. If I couldn’t get answers here, maybe I could somewhere else.

I took a photo with my phone before I left. I wanted to make sure I had a picture of it now and later to see if there was a difference in the energy. Maybe I was just tired, but it looked different today than it had previously.

Before I headed to my next destination, I fired off a text to Michael asking him to meet me. I know he wasn’t going to be happy about it, but I felt like I needed the support. Ignoring the voice in my head that sounded suspiciously like my dad, I headed towards the tree and looked up at the branches.

Sure enough, she was there. She was still fuzzy and hard to make out. Her attention seemed to be focused somewhere else, as it took me a few times to get her attention.

“Ah, look who decided to return,” she cooed as she floated down. The usual crushing sensation filled my body as she got closer.

“I did,” I said trying to sound more confidant that I felt. “I have questions.”

She cocked her head and raised a lazy eyebrow. “Oh, do you now? Whatever could you want?”

Before I said anything, Michael nervously approached me. “Uh, you said you wanted to meet here?” he asked, eyeing the tree.

I swallowed hard. “Yeah, I need the support. I’m talking to a ghost and I don’t like doing it alone.”

Michael paled as he looked between me and the tree. I know he can sense something was there, but he couldn’t see it. I held my breath, ready for him to think of me as a freak and leave. But, he just nodded slowly, his eyes slightly wide in fear. “Okay, okay, yea. We’re totally talking about you not telling me about the whole ‘talking to ghosts’ thing after this though.”

“Deal.” I turn my attention back to the ghost, who was watching with boredom.

“Remembered I was here, did you?”

I winced. “Sorry. I won’t let it happen again. I just wanted to start off with your name. I don’t think I should be calling you tree ghost forever.”

I think that might have caught her by surprise. She twirled her hair around her fingers and stared at me in thoughtful silence. I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead as I waited for her to answer. Sometimes they got offended if you asked, as it served as a reminder of a time when they were alive.

Finally, she graced me with a small smile. “Dahlia Cressman. I believe you are the first person to ask me that in a long while, human.”

I smiled back. “Most people don’t talk to dead people, Dahlia.”

She clasped her hands behind her back and gave a small nod of her head. “I suppose not. Well, ask your questions then…after you introduce yourself, that is.”

This is where it gets a little sticky. A ghost knowing your name was something that could be very dangerous. My dad always told me that if a ghost knew your name, they could steal your soul. I wasn’t sure how true it was, but I respected that rule for a long time. However, if I wanted the answers I was looking for, I knew I was going to have to take some risks.

Sucking in a tense breath, I nodded and said, “Ally.”

It was a bit of cheat. I didn’t give her my full name, nor did I give her my maiden name. I still didn’t know if I could trust her fully yet.

However, it seemed to satisfy her. “Ally,” she rolled it around her tongue. “I like it.”

I fought the urge to shudder, only the twitch of my hand gave away my discomfort. Michael slipped his hand over mine, giving me a nervous smile. He looked back in the general direction where Dahlia was, trying his best to look serious.

“Okay, so… you mentioned last time we talked that you might know what was going on with the showers?”

Dahlia sat midair and crossed her legs. “I do, yes. I also recall telling you to research the archives. Did you?”

I blushed in embarrassment. “Not yet, no.”

“It’s been a week, Ally.”

“I’m very aware, yes.”

She smiled amusedly at me. “Yet you didn’t go. Well, I suppose I can tell a little. You met Jamieson, correct?”

“Jamieson?” I inquired, tilting my head in confusion.

“The bastard in the bookstore?”

The image of the smarmy ghost with the mean smirk popped in my head. I frowned and nodded, “Right, him.”

“He and I are not the only spirits left on this God forsaken campus,” said Dahlia. She twirled her hair around her finger, looking thoughtful. “I am not sure about the exact amount, unfortunately. I do know, however, that there is a spirit roaming around that sports building. The one where all the ruckus was last night.”

Oh. Shit. That explains the blood showers…and maybe the attack last night. Vengeful ghosts were a thing, right? This time, I couldn’t supress the shudder as my blood ran cold. Nothing good ever came from an angry spirit. Or at least that’s what the movies taught me.

“Does this news surprise you, Ally?” asked Dahlia.

I swallowed thickly and gave a small nod. “Most places don’t have a ton of restless souls unless there’s a reason. Jamieson…I’m not sure whether he died from suicide or murder. You look as if you were murdered. And if there is at least one other ghost lingering around, does that mean they were murdered too?”

The smile Dahlia gave me was not pleasant at all. “Possibly. Some do stick around if they have lingering regrets. Suicide could potentially lead to that. Or an accidental death, such as overdosing or whatever. Who’s to say we all haven’t been murdered?”

Michael was shaking beside me, from the stress of her presence or something else, I wasn’t sure. I slipped my hand out of his and pulled out my notebook, quickly jotting some things down. I didn’t want to forget anything important here.

I chewed the end of my pen in thought. “Dahlia,” I looked up at her, “are you able to leave this area?”

She tilted her head to the side. “I believe so,” she said slowly, “but I would have to return here eventually. This is where I died, so my attachment is here.”

I paused to take in this information. That means that Jamieson died somewhere around that bookstore, maybe the roof of the Student Centre. If that’s the case… if there is a ghost in the women’s locker room, that means they died there. I would have to investigate the area if I wanted to be sure, though.

“Anything else?”

“I’m guessing you won’t just tell me who is haunting the locker room?” I smiled weakly.

Dahlia looked down at me in puzzled silence before breaking out in a devilish grin. “Where’s the fun in that, Ally? Besides, it is not my story to tell. If you want to know what is going on, you need to research it. I could only push you in the right direction.”

“It was worth a shot,” I said with a shrug.

Her laughter echoed in my head. “I suppose it was. Goodbye, Ally. This time, check the archives.”

“Bye, Dahlia.” I watched her disappear, the overwhelming sensation of being crushed leaving my body. I heard Michael take a deep breath as I did.

We sat there silently for a couple of minutes before I grabbed my stuff. I didn’t want to be here much longer, and Michael was happy to follow. We managed to make it halfway to meal hall before he stopped and dry heaved into a bush.

I rubbed his back as he heaved. There wasn’t a lot I could do for him except give him some water and wait for his recovery. I’m used to it now, but the presence of a ghost like that can be a lot to take in. To be honest, Dahlia’s power surprised me. She must have a large lingering resentment to remain as strong as she was.

He sat down and dropped his head between his knees as he regained some composure. I sat down next him and handed over my water. He took it gratefully and sipped slowly. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on top of them, waiting for him to be ready.

“Ally,” he croaked. He cleared his throat and took another sip of water before trying again. “Ally, what was that?”

“My life,” I said quietly. “I’ve been dealing with stuff like that my whole life.”

He stared at me blankly before shaking his head. “I can’t even imagine. I mean, I can sense the energy…but actually talking to them? I felt like I couldn’t breathe!”

“I guess you get used to it,” I chuckled weakly.

“How did you do it alone?”

Those words hurt. I did it alone because I had no other choice. I had to because my dad refused to help me. My mom thought it would just be better if I ignored it. I just ignored the feelings I had because they refused to acknowledge what made me who I was. I felt my eyes stinging but I held my tears back, looking up at the cloudy sky.

“I didn’t have a choice. Either I let them take over my life or I just…” I shrugged, not really sure what to say.

Michael reached over and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Okay, well…fuck that. I’m not letting you do that alone ever again! I couldn’t hear the whole conversation, but you mentioned murder way too many times for my liking. So…what happened?”

I couldn’t tell Michael how much his words meant to me, but I gave him a hug, hoping it gave the same message. I pulled away, wiping at my eyes before grabbing my notebook out of my bag and showing him what I wrote down.

It didn’t occur to me until later that Dahlia seemed more visible by the end of our conversation.

XXX

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

I frowned, mulling over my feelings. “I feel like it’s the right thing to do.”

“Okay, just making sure,” said Michael as he rubbed the back of his head.

“She wanted answers the first time,” I explained. “It makes sense she would this time.”

“Only if she believes in the supernatural,” Michael countered.

“Only if she believes,” I agreed nervously.

I told Michael that I wanted to bring Lyn in on this, since it concerned her most of all. Both times something happened it affected the swim team. Maybe she would just laugh in my face and not listen to what I had to say, but I had to try. Otherwise, I’ll do it without her. I made my decision. No more ignoring this…whatever this is. I wanted to help after the first incident but chickened out. I’m not doing that again.

We sat nervously at café in the library, waiting for Lyn to show up. I wanted to tell her everything in a more public place, less chance of being overheard but I wasn’t sure where to meet. Michael suggested that we meet here first and pick a place after.

I was tapping my fingers against the table as Michael was staring off as he chewed on his thumbnail. Suddenly he chuckled and shook his head. “Why are we so nervous?”

I gave a small laugh. “Sometimes life is a mystery. I think it probably has something to do with the fact that we have a bunch of restless spirits on this campus and we’re the only two who know anything about it.”

“Makes midterms seem silly now.”

“To be fair, I thought the Psych midterm was challenging,” I huffed, crossing my arms.

Michael laughed again. “Yeah, it was. You should have seen my Finite Math midterm though. I’m pretty sure like everyone left the room crying, the teacher included.”

I cringed. “Me and math do not get along. I’m surprised I even passed math in high school.”

“I was home schooled in high school,” said Michael leaning on the table. “Otousan tutored me through math, which is probably why I understand it pretty well.”

The earlier nerves just disappeared as we chatted. Michael was in the middle of explaining something about his bio lab when Lyn approached our table. She looked exhausted, and the usual brightness of her eyes seemed dimmer. She still smiled when she saw me, but it looked mechanical, like she was going through the motions. She even looked more pale than usual, which was challenging since she was already so pale as it was. Overall, she just looked unwell.

She shoved her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. “Hey, Ally.” She nodded at Michael.

“I’m Michael,” he said, sticking his hand out.

She extracted one hand, shook quickly and said, “Lyn,” before sticking her hand back into the safety of the pocket.

“How are you doing?” I asked tentatively.

Lyn shrugged with a miserable frown on her face. “Fine, I guess. Just got back from the hospital this morning, guess I went into a bit of shock yesterday. Too much shit going on for my brain to process it all, you know?”

“I get that,” I said empathetically. Overwhelming thoughts and emotions causing you to completely spiral out of control? That was so in my ballpark.

“So…” she shifted foot to foot, “what is it you wanted to talk about?”

“Oh, right!” I grabbed my bag and Michael grabbed his stuff. “Let’s go somewhere and sit!”

“Why can’t we sit here?” Lyn questioned.

“Uh, I meant somewhere more public.”

If this confused her further, she didn’t show. Lyn trudged behind us as we walked to the door. Michael asked a good place that would be busyish, and Lyn gave us a couple of suggestions. In the end, we went all the way to the coffee shop downtown. It was called the Main Street Coffee Shop, and there was a good amount of people inside already, most of them students catching up on work. Lyn pointed out a table near the window that was free, and we sat down. I waited until after we ordered before saying anything.

“Lyn, do you remember when the whole shower thing happened, and you asked me if it was a prank?” I asked, trying to keep my tone neutral.

Lyn was staring out the window, chin and mouth cupped her in her hand. Slowly she turned to look at me and nodded.

I swallowed thickly. “Okay…I don’t think it was a prank at all.”

“What do you think it was?” she asked, voice muffled.

Michael gave me an encouraging nod. I took a deep breath and said, “Ghosts. I think an angry spirit did it.”

Lyn gave me the same look she did when I told her the tree gave me bad vibes. It was carefully controlled, as to not give away what she was thinking. The waiter dropped off our drinks and left quickly, maybe sensing the tension and not wanting to be caught up in it.

Finally, there was the tiniest tug at her lip, and she gave one small nod. “Right, explain.”

I released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I took out my notebook and explained everything I could. I told her about Jamieson and Dahlia, and what Dahlia had told me the other day. Michael jumped in a couple of times, explaining how he could feel weird energy from certain places on the campus, the Athletic Centre being one of them. Lyn seemingly took this all-in stride, taking small sips from her hot chocolate as she listened patiently. Maybe I was just hopeful, but it looked as if her eyes lit up as she did. Finally, I finished and sat back a little, suddenly feeling self-conscious. I just told someone I really liked my secret, and I was afraid of how she actually felt about it. What if she was just humouring me? What if she thought I was crazy? My heart picked up pace and my guts squirmed in discomfort.

Lyn sat back, her eyes going between the two of us. “Okay, you aren’t messing with me, yeah?”

“I would never,” I said, my voice cracking slightly.

“Me either,” added Michael.

Lyn nodded, her eyes settling on me. “I swear I saw writing on the wall when I was in there. I couldn’t go back to confirm it though. If some dude with a knife wanted to attack a young woman, why bother writing something on the wall? Plus, the wound on-” Lyn’s face’s twisted in pain and she clamped her mouth shut, clearly trying to keep it together.

I reached over and squeezed her hand. “It’s fine, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

There was a conflict playing out on Lyn’s face before it finally settled on a flat affect. I haven’t known her long, but I knew that this wasn’t a typical Lyn face. It just didn’t look right on her. I wondered if maybe this was her coping mechanism for negative feelings, but something wriggled in my brain that suggested that there was more to this.

“So, what we know so far is that there are multiple ghosts on the campus,” said Michael as he ticked his fingers off, drawing our attention to him. “One in the big tree, one in the bookstore, and one in the women’s locker room. We have an active scene, so maybe if we go there, I can get a sample to look at in the lab?”

Lyn frowned. “Are you even able to do that?”

Michael shrugged. “I know one of the third year’s personally, he can get us access if I ask nicely.”

“I guess I can look into the archives,” Lyn offered. “I’m used to reading dusty old books anyway. It will be another typical Wednesday night for me.”

“And I can ask around, see what I can learn!” I added, feeling an excited buzz course through my veins.

Lyn gave a small grin. “Do we need some corny team name or something? Ghostbusters? Spirit Fighters?”

“I’m a fan of Super Cool Ghost Hunting Nerd Squad,” said Michael lightly, grinning widely.

“I’m not going by that, Michael.”

“I’m not hearing any better suggestions. Ally?”

I tapped my chin in thought. “I think Spook Searchers has a nice ring to it.”

Lyn chuckled, pushing herself to her feet. I didn’t even notice I was still holding her hand until she did that. I missed the warmth already. “Okay, no name. These all suck way too much. I’m going to head out, got things I need to do. I’ll talk to you later?”

Those last words were directed to me, and I nodded quickly. “Yes, of course.”

She smiled slightly before waving at Michael and walking out, leaving us behind. I sat back in my chair and chewed the end of my pen. Poor thing, it was probably not going to last the week at this rate.

“Whatcha thinking about, Ally?” asked Michael.

I sighed and shook my head. “Honestly, way too much at the moment.”

He poked me in the temple, giving me a lopsided smile. “Take the rest of the day off, Al. Maybe focus on some you time, yeah?”

“I don’t really need a day off,” I said.

“Girl, I feel like your brain is running on 110% all the time,” Michael snorted. “I feel like when you look at someone, you take in every detail and squirrel it away somewhere, in case you need it later. I know you want to solve this thing quickly, but we won’t be able to do it if you’re burnt out.”

I stared at him silently for a couple of seconds. It was funny in a not funny way that someone I’ve only known for a couple of weeks knows me better than most of my friends at high school did. I smiled softly and kissed him on the cheek.

“Michael, you’re a very sweet guy, thank you.”

Michael looked a little embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I try my best. Otousan always told me to treat my friends with the utmost respect.”

“Does that mean dad?” I asked, remembering that he said it earlier too. He nodded as we both slid out of the booth as I said, “Sounds like your dad is a smart and kind man.”

Michael’s eyes shined with admiration. “I hope to be the same kind of man once I become a dad.”

“I think you’re pretty close.”

“Okay, okay! I’m ditching you before you make me all teary eyed, dammit!” Michael waved me a goodbye before dashing off.

I decided I was going to take his advice and take the rest of the day off. I had no classes, so I might as well do something fun. Maybe Mags would be up to hanging out if they weren’t with their other friends.

I pulled my coat close, feeling a sudden chill. I looked around and saw nothing, so it must have just been a gust of wind or something. Maybe Michael was right, my brain was constantly thinking of something. I decided to just be on my way and think nothing of it for once. I was going to be thinking about a ton of things soon enough, it was okay for me to take one night off.

#unnatural affairs #ua #original story #original fiction #ally holland #lyn hart #michael yamamoto #mags richard #dahlia cressman #original content #paranormal #mystery #murder mysteries #romance #sapphic lead #wlw romance #the plot is rolling #ghosts #writing

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