#heterosexism

[david-goldrock]

Since this is tumblr, I just wanna check

Please reblog to enlarge the sample size

#queer pride #lgbtq community #queer community #queer #lgbtqia #lgbt pride #lgbt #lgbtq #cisgender #nonbinary #gender identity #genderqueer #gnc #cis men dni #heterosexual #heterosexism #cis

[scretladyspider]

Let’s talk about what demisexuality is not.

First off: what is demisexuality? We have to establish what it is to talk about what it isn’t.

‘demisexuality’ describes not experiencing sexual attraction until a close bond is formed. This doesn’t mean demis are attracted to everyone we bond with, and we can have differing desires towards sex. Demisexuals may or may not be demiromantic — they’re not one and the same.

While demisexuals can also be demiromantic, this isn’t true as a rule. Just like being asexual doesn’t necessarily mean you’re aromantic. It’s possible to be both, nothing wrong with that — but they’re not inherently synonymous.

*For some people who are aroace, include demi aroaces, their sexual and romantic orientations are deeply intertwined and there isn’t a big difference between the two. Other people use the split attraction model, which recognizes a difference in sexual and romantic orientations.

Many people think that “everyone is demisexual” because they read the definition and say “oh, that’s just being normal”. They’re confusing not experiencing sexual at ALL with waiting until a relationship is serious to have sex.

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation. The thing people confuse it with is a decision regarding sexual behavior that can be made regardless of orientation— the decision to wait to have sex until you’re emotionally close. That decision can be made by anyone, demisexual or not.

Often people read the definition and say “I’m demisexual, I wait to have sex until it’s not just sex. I want emotional fulfillment too.” When it’s explained that demisexuals rarely have sexual attraction and only under certain conditions does it occur, one of two things happens:

they misunderstand and assume that demisexuals are also experiencing sexual attraction without the bond and just not acting on it, or

they begin to understand that there’s a difference between sexual attraction and action.

More often than not it’s the former.

It’s interesting that this misunderstanding happens when demisexuality is described because allosexuals (people who aren’t ace) abstain from sex all the time but still feel sexual attraction. There’s this underlying assumption that everyone experiences sexual attraction.

But… just imagine that feeling of not being attracted and expand it. It’s doubtful that you experience sexual attraction to every person you see is physically attractive. Just expand that and there you go. Or imagine it like not seeing a particular color until you suddenly can.

Demisexuals aren’t all cisgender and heteroromantic. But there’s nothing wrong with demis who are! If ace isn’t enough for you to respect someone is LGBTQIA+, you don’t understand or accept asexuality or the orientations under its spectrum.

Demisexuality is NOT “just being a woman”. Demisexuality also isn’t “the patriarchy convinced young girls not having casual sex was a sexuality”.

There’s so much wrong with both of these, and they tie together, so I put them together here. Not only does this thinking see cis women and feminine people as being inherently “more” asexual, it robs allos and aces alike of bodily autonomy towards sex and sexuality. It bleeds out from conservative Christianity — it’s the same ideas that lead us to abstinence only sex “education” and that women must be sexually available at all times or their husband will cheat to “get his needs met”. Saying that cis women & feminine people are just all demisexual or ace removes the bodily autonomy of those who want sex and those who don’t by assigning a culturally acceptable narrative as more important than lived experience. But sexuality isn’t limited by cisheterosexism.

The truth is there are still a lot of people learning they’re under the asexual umbrella as educators and advocacy groups get education out there, and even in queer spaces asexuality isn’t always accepted, let alone its spectrum. A lot of people don’t even know it’s an option!

In addition, and partially because of, tropes like this, asexuality and everything under it are considered more “feminine”. Sex is seen as a symbol of status and depending on your gender and presentation, that status gets lowered or raised depending on the number of partners had.

Cis men and masculine aces exist, and also have to contend with cultural pressures to “perform” sexually, whether they want to or not. Erasing these experiences doesn’t help further acceptance towards asexuality or just sexuality in general.

And! Cis women and feminine people can have and enjoy casual sex! Others don’t but still experience sexual attraction regularly. Being allosexual isn’t limited to the masculine. Libido can also exist without sexual attraction. Human sexuality is just not as narrow as you think.

That’s where I’ll leave this one. Remember, it’s okay to be demisexual. It’s not okay to dunk on a group of people you didn’t bother to try to understand. Keep an open mind. There’s room at the table for learning, not bigotry.

#lgbtqia #queer #demisexual #Demisexuality #asexuality #ace #demi ace #text #sexuality #purity culture #heterosexism #asexual #acespec #asexual spectrum

[unforgivablengk]

I say this as a 35 year old trans queer who has been out since I was like 12. I'm desperate for y'all not to take us backwards. liberation, not assimilation.

#liberation vs assimilation #coming out #heterocentrism #heterosexism #homophobia #internalized homophobia #queerbaiting #michael sheen #david tennant #good omens #neil gaiman #parasocial behavior #parasocial #parasocial relationships #loki #ofmd #our flag #our flag means death

[lyledebeast]

It's incredible to me how often people's idea of "the female gaze" on Tumblr boils down to "I'm a woman, and when this man takes his shirt off its hot to me, so therefore it only exists on film for people like me."

It's especially egregious when people do this with characters like Lestat in AMC's Interview with the Vampire, who is not only himself bisexual but in a relationship with a man, who is usually the person he is undressed for!

Part of the problem is that people are talking about the cinematic gaze without any clear sense of what that actually means. It's never just about the sexuality of the character onscreen or of individual people who are looking at them. Laura Mulvey used "the male gaze" to describe how the framing of women's bodies in cinema mirrors the way women's bodies are framed in culture (i.e. as passive objects for male consumption.) Her essay "Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema" is 49 years old now, so the idea of the gaze has undergone much evolution, but there is no need to insist that female gaze be both reductive and heterosexist.

#amc iwtv #interview with the vampire #the female gaze #laura mulvey #heterosexism

[queering-ecology]

TOWARD A QUEER ECOFEMINISM-summary

This is (the start of) a summary of the main ideas and relevant information put forth by Greta Gaard in her article, Toward a Queer Ecofeminism.

--

Progressives have long lamented the disunity of the ‘left’ in the USA and the future of progressive political organizing likely depends on our ability to have a main base of articulation. Ecofeminism understands that many systems of oppression are mutually reinforcing—ergo the liberation of women requires the liberation of nature and vice versa.

 “Love of nature is a process of becoming aware of and unlearning ideologies of racism, sexism, heterosexism and ableism so that we may cease to reduce our idea of nature to a dark, heterosexual, ‘beautiful’ mother” (115).

According to Gaard, to be truly inclusive, ecofeminism must consider findings of queer theory and vice versa.

--

*Cover image: Still from “Prelude: Serotiny” of the Metamorphosis series of the Institute of Queer Ecology.

#ecofeminism #toward a queer ecofeminism #nature #sexuality #heterosexism #queer ecology

[oddwomen]

TIME (July 10, 1989)

#1989 #1980s #80s #Time #Time Magazine #Gay Revolution #black and white #text #vintage #heterosexism #queer #queer history #LGBT history #LGBT #LGBTQ

[centrumlumina]

Okay, the thing about F1nn5ter has helped crystallise something I've been thinking about a lot lately: we need better words for the way society labels people without their consent.

I know most people on Tumblr Dot Com are on board the intersectional feminism train, people can self-identify however they want, etc., but this stuff is baked in deep. I'm talking about gaydar, about "I can tell a trans woman by looking", about "but you don't look disabled." It runs even deeper - I'm betting everyone reading this has recently assumed someone's gender or race without explicitly asking them how they identified. And I'm not saying that's bad necessarily; I don't know if society would function if we couldn't use any non-verbal indicators of identity.

But the idea that appearance alone is enough to know someone's identity can be a dangerous one, primarily because of how people react when they are told they are wrong. There are a number of situations I've seen where people are so confident in their assessment of other people's appearance that they will become belligerent or aggressive when corrected, even if the correction is coming from the person whose identity is in question.

I'm sure there are terms which already exist for this - I'm no expert on the topic - but I'm surprised I don't already know what to call it. This is such a common issue that you'd think it would be more widely discussed. Instead the closest I can think of is "passing", which isn't quite right - it puts all the focus on the person being judged and how they present themselves, while I'm much more interested in talking about the person doing the judging.

So my proposed term, at least for now, is "presumption of identity." F1nn5ter experienced a presumption of female identity, despite the fact that he identifies as a man. Certain fictional characters are assigned a presumption of white identity, in spite of their actors being mixed race.

Anyway, let me know what you think.

#cissexism #sexism #racism #heterosexism #ableism #feminism #passing privilege #transphobia #gender binary #f1nn5ter #gaydar #my thoughts #things i made

[endlessburningdarkness]

the reason why when lou binghe does physically force himself on shen yuan (kissing him forcefully) (not stopping during their wedding) it's written off as passionate is because shen yuan is the bottom and people think that a top/masculine character is entitled to do those things out of "passion" and the bottom must want it bc they pretty much see the bottom as the woman in the relationship.

this is also why they write it off as un negotiated kink or whatever as if an un negotiated kink isn't automatically abusive. the whole point of kink is that it is negotiated beforehand. if there's no negotiation, it's not kink. and before you say porn logic, isn't the story meant to be a satire of porn logic danmei novels? what was the point of the maigu ridge scene if it goes back to porn logic in the next chapter?

additionally shen yuan insists on bottoming because he also thinks he has to be the woman in the relationship. shen yuan's internalized prejudices go unquestioned by the fandom who wholeheartedly justify his unhealthy thinking and behaviour as a porn logic kink because that's what gets them off. that's fine if you could admit that's what you like, but why pretend it's healthy wholesome romance within the story?

i guaranfuckingtee if shen yuan was a woman you would clearly see it as abusive, but along with the extensive heterosexism, because shen yuan is a man (and bc he's a stand in for the reader), there's a complete denial that he could possibly be in an abusive relationship. because most people want to keep pretending men never get abused.

#svsss #heterosexism #writing #book analysis #fandom critical #svsss meta

[hildamystery45687]

RITA SKELETON TOCA LIFE WORLD TOCA LIFE STORIES

NAME: RITA

AGE: 11

AU: IDK

COLOR HAIR: BLUE

SOUL COLOR: BLUE HEART

NATIONALITY: USA

#skeleton #rita skeleton #spotify #toca life world #rita #so cute #spooky #spooky month #toca boca #pokemon #toca life #tocafe.name #toca life stories #skeleton oc #skeletonart #skeleton drawing #spooky scary skeletons #heterosexism #lgbtq

[shaadidevereaux]

Dangerous Liaisons

I'm starting to question whether I can ever truly be understood emotionally & romantically.

The way cishetero people construct an unquestionable reality about how they view & interpret bodies...and lock the rest of life out...

It's such a lonely and cut-throat system of category & apportioned love.

It invades everything.

#transgender #reflections #dark academia #goth #heterosexism #heteronormativity #lgbtq #cisgender #cissexism #gender essentialism

[hineini]

unknown how to feel

So here we are.

Chanukah's started today and I hardly felt I had any right to light my chanukiah to celebrate Jewish Pride. I'm definitely proudly Jewish and won't hesitate to make my Judaism known should religious heterosexism enter a conversation I'm engaging in; it feels no different than coming out as a dyke if I'm assumed to be straight, thank you. My inability to appear at worship due to how politicized it has come to be at my synagogue, however, meant I felt as if I was faking something. If I had my way I'd feel completely different, may that manage to improve if not fully fix during the near future.

#chanukah #jewish #pride #judaism #heterosexism #coming out #dyke

[nysocboy]

Who is Theo James, and why is he naked all the time?

In White Lotus Season 2, Cameron and Ethan (Theo James, Will Sharpe) and their wives visit the Italian resort, and start flirting with every woman in sight, plus each other. In Episode 4, Cameron even says "I want to be inside you.  I want to do stuff to you."  But it is just queerbaiting; the two never lock lips.  In fact, they hate each other.

You could probably figure that White Lotus, well known for its shocking homophobia, would never portray an actual gay romance.  After all, it was created and written by Mike White, aka The Devil. 

But Theo James is not personally homophobic; he has been interviewed an a dozen gay magazines, he wants to play a gay action-adventure hero, and he was in the running to play gay pop star George Michael.  Let's check his previous work for gay roles. The Time Traveler's Wife (2022) features (straight) lovers stymied by the guy's frequent involuntary time slips.  Heterosexuals all the way down, although it does give us some nice rear and frontal nudity.

Sanditon (2019-22) is an adaption of a novel that Jane Austen left unfinished at her death in 1817. There is actually a gay character, outed in the second season. Theo plays Sidney Parker, whom focus character Charlotte love/hates with the "He's arrogant!" trope.  

In the animated Castlevania (2018-21), Theo plays Hector, whose plot is propelled by that horribly cliched Dead Wife Trope.  

Archive (2020)?  Another guy with a Dead Wife, who he tries to recreate with an android.  Yawn.  I'm beginning to think that it will be tired cliches as well as heterosexuals  all the way down.  Are the butts and dicks worth the trouble?

Lying and Stealing (2019)? Caper romance between two thieves.

How it Ends (2018)?  "In the midst of an Apocalypse, a man struggles to reach his pregnant fiance, who is a thousand miles away." That's actually the motive behind about half of the characters on The Walking Dead: "I'm looking for my wife!"

Before The White Lotus, Theo was most famous for the Divergent series, four movies set in a teen dystopia where people are classified according to their primary virtue: Candor, Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation, and Amity.  He plays Four, a Dauntless instructor who romances focus character Beatrice. 

Ok, let's try Theo's future projects.  In the upcoming The Gentleman (2024), he plays Eddie Halsted, who inherits his father's estate without realizing that it is the front for a drug empire.  And he...falls in love...with...

I give up.

The nude photos are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

#Theo James #The White Lotus #Divergent #The Time Traveler's Wife #heterosexism

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Not to be too controversial but… idk. Sometimes heterosexual sex be hittin’

#bisexual #<- the only tag that isn’t a hate crime 4 this post #straight #<- curious af if this is even an active tag lmao #there are approximately 0 straight people on this website (good) #kinsey 3 gang gang #lgbt #lgbtqia #shitpost #unpopular take #heterosexual #wait what is THIS tag?? -> #heterosexism #<- oh i am looking this up. what IS THIS #bi wlm #<- nice #personal #anyway i got my cervix pounded the other day and it fuckin rocked #EDIT: heterosexism wasn’t a cringe tag lmao ah well #i thought it was le oppresed straight rights or smth

[honeylemony]

Male lions literally sit their dumpy asses down while their lion wife goes "babygirl don't worry I'll kill that guy for you" and then she tears him apart like a piece of firewood and people still think that male lions are the pinnacle of male power.

#lions #sexism #heterosexism

[truths89]

Spiritual Quarantine: Three Acts of Harm (2022)

I accepted an invitation to the Brooklyn Museum for the First Saturday’s monthly event. While on the museum's third floor, seated among many melanated individuals and vendors, a white doctor, whom I befriended through a mutual associate, chose white violence. She clears her throat, squints her eyes, makes a pointed eye towards a crowd of black women, and asks: “Do you think she had a BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift)?”

A former social work colleague, whom I began working with in 2018, invited me to dinner. While seated in a restaurant, enjoying Korean BBQ, this white male homosexual chose misogyny. Over dinner, we shared an update on our lives, at which point he thought to share that he supports the overturning of Roe vs. Wade.

I met a white woman over an app, with whom I began a romantic and non-sexual friendship over a period of six months. We intended on going to Riis Beach for Pride, and the week before, she began to love bomb me, and the night before Pride day, she began rubbing my head and kissing me goodnight on the cheek. While at the beach, we had no reception to connect. However, upon walking across the crowds of gay and lesbian and queer individuals, she spots me and yells my name. Unbeknownst to me, she chose heterosexism. She and I hug, and she swiftly invites me to her boyfriend. I was not informed that he would be present at the beach; a man whom I had never even seen a picture of.

In these three experiences, my blackness, womanhood, and lesbian identities were violated, and the experience was egregious. These three whites are employed as a licensed internal medicine doctor, licensed master’s level social worker, and licensed master’s level nurse. These were the whites that one might think they’ve read; they ought to be politically literate, they appear cultured. And in none of these instances of macroaggressions did they seek amends for the psychospiritual and sociocultural harm their words and behavior had inflicted upon my being.

I forgive myself for believing that their company was worthwhile. I accept that I endured violence because I fell into the trap of compulsive politeness and disregarded my visceral rage. I release these whites, and those like them, from access to my aura, time, and energy. They are genuinely unworthy.

I am picking up the shards of a mirror I have not fully absorbed the reflection of light from. I am seeing myself anew. The tower is falling, and so are the former iterations of self that must die to give birth to a woman who exudes self-mastery. I consider these white liberals to be my spiritual training ground. I may have failed the exam upon the first encounter, but I rebuke the repetition of such nonchalance with the enactment of harm.

War is metaphysical, and my defense will be atypical and critical. I will strategize that which is logistical, but I ain’t fucking with no more subliminal. These folks were indisputably parasitical. I am not immune, nor will I play the role of an acquiescent coon. Not with my Scorpio moon. I will flood my spirit with love like a monsoon to repel what seeks to penetrate my divine shell.

#truths89 #poetry #zisa aziza #negressofsaturn #spirituality #white violence #heterosexism #white supremacy #trauma #sociocultural #violence #psychospiritual #energy #vampires #too comfortable #i see you #hex #bye simpleness #self-accountability #healing #socialization #whiteness #unaceptable #harmful #microaggressions #macroagressions

[hildamystery45687]

SKELETON X TOCA LIFE STORIES MADE

RITA SKELETON

AGE 11 FROM CUTE KIDS

LGBTQ FROM HETEROSEXUAL

COLOR BLUE HAIR CUE BUNNY RABBIT

GENDER IS FEMALE GIRL

#skeleton #toca life world #toca life #toca boca #so cute #heterosexism #lgbtq #rita skeleton #spooky month #spooky #halloween #bone #body art #body #female