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spookfished · 8 months

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big media roundup (july edition)

hellooo again welcome to my media roundup, where i talk about things i read/watched/played this month! (…and by last month i mean AN ENTIRE MONTH AGO. WOOPS in my defense i got sick [better now]) in july i downloaded tachij2k, which im going to be shilling forever as the best way to read manga on android (apk on github here) this also means that ive been reading like, a Lot of manga lol so i split books + comics into two.

books:

vita nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko: a metaphysics-ish novel about a girl who is blackmailed into going to a magic school. sort of a subversion where (unlike many magic school books) it basically is all about learning and stuff? im kind of a sucker for books written by married couples i think its really cute and also kind of fascinating... um i sort of disagree with its approach to pedagogy but its also sort of about the blood sweat and tears part of learning,, where i usually quit beforehand LOL. got that eastern european hopeless and drudgery (?) but idk i would definitely recommend

the great believers by rebecca makkai: historical fiction that swaps between an art curator-y guy living through the aids epidemic in chicago and his friend in the present who is trying to reunite w her estranged daughter. i really liked this!! super devastating obviously literally scooped me like a melon. very well researched! i hadnt really grasped like. the sheer terror and paranoia? that happened during the aids epidemic before..... thats my lack of contemp history knowledge but it was good i learned a lot. liked the theme of sort of surviving through tragedy and even after.. and the line drawn between the lost generation (war) and yales own exp (EDIT: found sth i wrote after reading the book which said "people are living their own intricate and mundane stories and then the stories of the world smash straight through them")

assassin of reality (vita nostra sequel): sasha knows what she will become--has embraced it, even. but theres always something that can be lost, and the institute still has a heavy hand over her.<or sth like that??? the reveals of the last book kind of make it a hard act to follow and the book definitely felt a lot more abstract... ik some people complained about the romantic subplots but i feel like it gives stakes and grounds everything else, yk? it gives you a thread to hold onto otherwise i mightve given up LMFAO that being said i did enjoy it :3 wondering if what happened to the authors will change the vibe of the next book... :(

you exist too much by zaina arafat: literary fiction about a bisexual palestinian american woman who struggles with her addiction to unattainable love, which has led her to cheat in several relationships. this book didnt really resonate with me.. um i actually ended up writing like 500 words of review for this but its pretty negative. so if youre interested check it out here https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/970847361775591466/1147613251933306921/image.png

movies/tv: room with a view: a young english girl travels to italy and finds love there--but has to choose between that love and a 'proper' life. ok this was fine. idk it was cute and funny sometimes but didnt leave that much of an impression sorry :T

past lives: two childhood friends reconnect, lose touch, then reconnect again. aughjjj those two silent minutes where they were waiting for her ride were so freaking agonizing. really good acting pretty film i just enjoyed it a lot in general! :3 i didnt like the boyfriend that much at first but the conversation they had in bed made them feel like a real relationship, you know? wish theyd had a 3some though maybe it will happen in past lives 2: paster life. idk its like most of the time we dont grow up to be who we thought wed be or do what we thought wed do... but is that really so bad? cant you still be happy? *clutches my head

nimona (movie): adaptation of the comic above! um this was fine i think i was a little disappointed bc the jokes felt a little overplayed/didnt really land? and i was mentally comparing it to the comic but then rereading i was like oh these jokes dont really hit for me either.. so who am i comparing this to LOL i think it would have meant a lot to me in middle school, so maybe it will mean something to middle schoolers now. also ppl fought really hard for it to be made so i feel like i need to give it more credit. my mutuals meta also made me appreciate it more :3 https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/687877902200471552/1126752893312184390/image.png barbie movie: not going to recap the barbie movie sorry. i actually watched this twice it was really fun :3 i wouldnt necessarily say it was a Cultural Milestone or anything but it was cute to see everyone dressed up for the movie.. plus i love velveteen rabbit type storylines. i think ken got the right amount of screentime (its not his movie!) but i loved his dance number and the battle scene :3 and the outfitss idk im not super caught up on the movie scene but it feels like there have been a lot of ugly movies recently. i enjoyed it

the rehearsal: a "reality" show about nathan fielder, who believes that any difficult situation can be rehearsed--and has the budget to put that belief into practice. ok like last year or sth everyone was like omg this show was sooo good but i didnt really get what it was about? but its actually really so interesting.. and the whole blurring between fiction and reality as well as the audience not really knowing which parts are staged and which parts are 'real' is so fun! i was a little bit disappointed when it diverged from the episodic format but that ended up paying off bigtime and was really like idk heartbreaking and funny and all of that. very recommend 👍

video games:

super mario odyssey: (replay)super fucking mario yay!!! in the long run, odyssey didnt have as much like. cultural staying power as botw did (they were both switch launch titles) but its still soooo imaginative and pretty and dense! i love platformers love 2 run and jump.

visual media: he was my brother: psych horror manga about a young girl who tries to grow closer to her recently-deceased brother's partner. omg i had so much fun with this the art is so atmospheric and delightfully creepy...REALLY mind the warnings though. i think i ended up reading all of it in one sitting lmfao

nimona comic (reread): classic villain ballister blackheart is looking for a competent sidekick, but what he gets is nimona, a shapeshifting weirdo kid with secrets. i remember trying to reread this and going wow.... is nimona not as good as i remember? am i old? but it was actually just like early webcomic weirdness nimona is still pretty good! yay :3 i still like the comic better but i respect how they are adapted to their respective mediums and also come from different phases in the og authors life

The story of how I came to know my favourite announcer has a side to her I would have never imagined: oneshot f/f w the premise in the title. whether i write down stuff like this is pretty hit or miss lol and i had to look this one up to rmbr what it was but the art is so cute...simple plot but i enjoyed it :3

crossplay love otaku x punk: romcom where two highschoolers fall in love with the other's crossdressing alter ego (m/m?). i really liked this one actuallyyy its so silly and im also a sucker for love square shenanigans. ok also now that someone else said they think hana/shuumei is endgame so im thinking about it. not the right perspective for this but the crossdressing isnt really overly fetishized or like seen as bad or anything? also ppl make some really funny faces in this

breathless momentum (vol 2+3): r two womanizing musicians find love... in each other!? this is also another one of my favorites :3 the leads are so fun and also music yay music! i really appreciate when a romance is still able to present an interesting story even after the couple has gotten together..

damekoi r: sequel to "please love this useless me," (damekoi is like.. useless passion? i think) which is about a woman in her 30s who spends all her money on her college boyfriend and goes into debt and falls in with her shitty former boss. omg it was soooo cute like i already said its a romance set after the main couple has already gotten together. which is my favorite. but these guys are really fucking weird so they still have a lot of problems. having Another Man who fits michikos type and isnt totally evil come in to destabilize shibata and kurosawas relationship doesnt feel cheap bc their relationship is already not very stable? lol i think the first one is worth checking out if you love pathetic women

mr villains day off: a gag manga about an alien supervillain on his days off. ok this one is pretty much just centered around this fluffy guy who likes to look at pandas but its extremely not very deep but its very cute... i like it... i also like pandas

how do we relationship/so do you want to go out, or (reread): f/f slice of life/drama manga about a girls first lesbian relationship in college. ok this is like "the" yuri manga for me i would recommend it to any fans of femslash its like sort of very realistic feeling? in the way that a relationship can sort of degrade slowly through lack of communication and being different people i think its really great 👍

ichinose familys seven deadly sins: psychological drama. an entire family wakes up with amnesia from a car crash. they dont remember themselves or each other, but pledge to stay together and relearn how to be a family and try to find their memories again. but is it really worth digging up the past...? man this one really goes off the rails. but like in a fun way? has an interesting arc going on rn about like... what allowances do we give, what are we willing to forgive in a stranger vs a family member. pretty interesting!

oshi no ko (catchup): psych thriller about the twin children of a famous idol trying to deal with the legacy she leaves behind. ive been talking about this manga for a while to my friends lol its kind of like riverdale in that its sort of very good, sort of very bad--but overall just super engrossing! which makes sense in a way bc its about the entertainment industry but also about the relationship between an idol and their fan... um not so sure about recent developments though lol. a little bit scared to see where things go

blue period (catchup): a delinquent boy used to going with the flow decides to go to the top art school in japan. yeah blue period is really good. hope this helps 👍lets all never go to art school ever ok ^_^

still sick: f/f about an office lady who finds out her coworker writes and sells yuri doujins (like illustrated fanfiction?) on the side. its a classic! was nice to finally get around to finishing it :3

liar satsuki can see death: thriller about a girl who can see peoples deaths and tries to prevent them--except everyone thinks shes just a liar. ok this is notable bc it has the exact same like adventures and gaybait as shounen but its all girls instead. its good light entertainment! sometimes is um kind of horny for sth about high school girls so ymmv on that one

farming for love: m/m romance about a pharmacist who moves to the country after a bad breakup and meets a ~strong but silent farmer~. pretty average, but fun if youre into that kind of thing! not sure if i would really recommend it lol

chainsaw man 2: set after the events of chainsaw man proper, its an action shounen focusing on asa mitaka, a girl who kinda sucks :3 chainsaw man is so fun yayyy im happy to be reading it again excited to get hit by some more bricks! asa is a wonderful protagonist and fujimoto continues to write comitragedy (?) in a way thats kinda obscene but also very cool 👍rip single father denji

skip and loafer (comic): slice of life about an ambitious but awkward girl who comes from the country to start her high school life in tokyo!!!! and some guy i guess. omg ok this is like the slice of life manga for me rn (the anime is really good! finished recently check it out) its just really warm and nice. autistic girls win always lol truly a comic that makes you feel like there is love in the world

no home: webtoon drama about two guys who are trapped together in a haunted dorm. ok this comic makes me really depressed but its also about people who make each other better despite their best efforts. and also violence and hatred its really really good 👍sad about recent updates though.. i guess maybe the characters werent really meant to be friends in the long term

this took me like two weeks to write and now im in a different state LOL so um if you got to the end...thanks for reading!

#txt #hmm its a bit harder to do these when ive read the thing so long ago... woops

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blueiight · 10 months

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I'm not saying you were arguing that Lestat + Claudia have the exact same dynamic as the books but you questioned why viewers (probably especially show only people) often put Louis and Claudia together as an entity vs. Lestat and I'm just saying the show made VERY specific choices and changes that enhance that reading of their dynamic. Race is the most obvious factor but there are also just story beats that don't happen in the books and to me all those choices make Louis & Claudia feel closer to each other than they did in the books. In turn it also makes Lestat feel more isolated than the books and supports the escalated violence in the show that he may not have felt compelled to act on in the books.

Any time you see major story changes from the book I always ask why they made that decision and what purpose it serves the characters. For example having Claudia live on her own for 7 years and then leave on her own again in 1x06 is such a huge and deliberate distinction from book Claudia being completely physically dependent that it completely changes how we view the dependency of L&C's relationship. The reason she's not allowed to leave isn't because she can't survive without him (as it is in the books), it's because HE can't survive without HER (as lestat says, come home and make him happy). She is not physically dependent on him in anymore, he is emotionally on her. The reversal is so huge it has major implications for the rest of the story (i.e. why Armand needs to kill her).

i was saying that bc lestat + claudia have similar dispositions still in the show that i see relatively underdiscussed but u make a really great point.. ig where book fans project lestat’s views onto claudia show fans now project show louis’s views onto her? this is soo fascinating omg the show is in active convo w/ everybody. i do think show louis has exhibited a sense of emotional codependence on claudia which adds onto why our good yandere armand feels the urge to do what he do, but where i diverge w/ u is that ive also said before that show claudia’s attempt at living on her own for 6 years was misery. it was a divergence from book claudia but it wasnt really a successful attempt for show claudia?. she was hiding in dingy university corners playing at being a student. she didnt even get out the southern half of the united states before being assaulted by bruce & going back to new orleans. and while adolescence had always existed, where the show places l+c now in a post world war 2 europe, the concept of teenager rly coalesces in that era. so i think theres still some of that dependence show claudia could have on louis, but with madeleine and the theater in a post world war 2 europe there could also be a loot the show goes on that direction

#yn.#yn answers #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #claudia #armand #madeleine #and i think ppl generalizing louis + claudia’s motives is weird #that was my bigger pernt too

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x-wing-junkie · 3 years

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Onward & Upward

Rating: Teen

Warnings: None

Tags: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb “Zeb” Orrelios, Garazeb “Zeb” Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus, Airen Cracken, Hera Syndulla, Original Rebel Alliance Characters

Established Relationship, Kallus gets his own ship, based on a Star Wars Adventures story, probably going to be jossed soon,

Summary: As the Rebels search for a new home following the assault on Mako-Ta base, Kallus is given a new assignment.

Notes: Sequel to A Safe Haven!

I fully expect this to be proven wrong as soon as we get more Star Wars Adventures comics with Kallus and his crew in them, but damn it if I didn’t already come up with my own ideas before finding out there would be further stories.

The Lasana, as always, comes from Anath_Tsurugi’s brilliant mind.

Cross posted from AO3 to celebrate 200 followers!

Home One was a busy ship in the days after the Rebellion fled Mako-Ta base. Their retreat plans had been thrown into disarray by the arrival of Darth Vader.

Stormtroopers, even Death Troopers, could be handled. But how could regular Rebel troops hope to last against a Sith Lord?

They hadn’t been able to and they’d lost a lot of men in the trying, General Draven among them.

The Rebellion was in space, all crammed into Fleet ships while the Council debated a new base.

Kallus hoped it was news of such a base that made General Cracken, head of Intelligence, call him to his office, but he couldn’t be sure.

When Kallus entered the tiny office, Cracken – a middle-aged human with graying hair – was poring over a datapad, so Kallus stood by the door until he was acknowledged.

After a few minutes, Cracken looked up. Kallus saluted and then sat in the chair Cracken indicated.

“Captain Kallus, you’ll forgive me for running late,” Cracken said. “We’re just waiting for General Syndulla.”

Suddenly, Kallus felt like a child about to be chastised. He ran through his behavior for the last few months and couldn’t think of any way he’d offended someone. Ever since the battle of Scarif, he’d been serving as part of the Ghost’s crew, going on raids and scouting locations and other ‘in-the-field’ missions. It’d been an ideal setup, allowing him the freedom to leave the base frequently and feel like he was making a significant contribution to the Alliance while being able to share a bed and a life with Zeb.

He wouldn’t change anything.

Well, that wasn’t quite true. He chafed a little under Hera’s leadership – nothing to do with Hera herself, but Kallus had always been in command as an Imperial and he missed having the sort of authority an ISB agent wielded. He missed being in control of his own actions, his own missions, his own destiny.

A soft knock sounded and Hera slipped into the room. Kallus returned her smile, covering his nerves easily.

Hera nodded at Cracken and the general cleared his throat. “Captain, I assume you’re familiar with the Imperial Freighter we captured over Kile II?”

Kallus was indeed familiar with the ship. Zaarin’s commandos had taken control of it almost bloodlessly. “Gozanti-class,” he said. “Looks to be pre-Empire but modified for Imperial service.”

“You’re familiar with that class of ship, I understand.”

Kallus glanced at Hera, but her face betrayed nothing. “Yes, sir. I often flew or commanded one during my ISB days.”

“That’s what General Syndulla told me.” Cracken leaned forward on his desk. “Captain, you’re being reassigned.”

Reassigned? No! “Where am I needed, sir?”

“I’m granting you command of our new ship. You’ll need a crew. I’ll give you some leeway in selecting them, but you’re being assigned a protocol droid.” Cracken glanced up at Hera, who gave Kallus a soft smile.

“I’m keeping Zeb and Rex,” she said, “but you can pick almost anyone else.”

Kallus had known, in his gut, that Zeb wouldn’t leave Hera and Jacen anyway, but it hurt to hear he was being separated, even if it did mean his own command again.

“This assignment comes with a promotion,” said Cracken, pulling out a new rank tab. “Congratulations, Commander Kallus.”

Still trying to digest all the information being thrown at him, Kallus picked up the rank tab and nodded. “Thank you, sir. What sort of assignments can I expect?”

“You’ll be Fleet command, but most of your missions will come from Intelligence. I presume you don’t mind picking up the mantle of Fulcrum again?”

“I didn’t ever put it down,” Kallus said.

“Good. Then you’re dismissed, Commander. I’ll expect your crew transfer requests by the end of tomorrow.”

Kallus nodded and left in a bit of a daze. He wandered down to Home One’s main docking bay, where the newly-captured Transport 478 sat. Mechanics swarmed over it, removing carbon scoring and repainting the yellow and gray accents.

“Nice lookin’ ship, isn’t she?”

“Garazeb,” Kallus said, relief flooding his chest. “Did Hera tell you?”

“That you’re getting a promotion and a transfer? Yeah.” Zeb sounded just as enthused as Kallus was. He turned the conversation back to the ship, obviously a safer topic. “You know, she needs a new name. Something Rebellion-y.”

Kallus leaned into Zeb’s side. “You know what she kind of looks like?”

“Huh?” Zeb’s eyes narrowed as he peered at the ship. “She’s bigger ‘n the Ghost, that’s for sure. I dunno what else.”

“The paint job,” Kallus pointed out. “Yellow on top, gray on bottom. She looks like that meteorite from Bahryn. The one that kept us warm.”

“Mostly warm,” Zeb corrected. He cocked his head. “You’re right, she does. So what? Gonna name her the Meteorite?”

“Maybe. Maybe she needs a different name. Something the meteorite represented.” Kallus crossed his arms and thought. “Something to do with hope, maybe. Or warmth.”

“Ollirahnd Kasmera,” Zeb said after a few moments’ contemplation. “Means ‘Glimmer of Hope’.”

“‘Glimmer of Hope’,” Kallus repeated. He turned it over in his head a few times. “The Rebellion could use hope right now, I think.”

Zeb wrapped an arm around Kallus’s shoulder. “You think you can pilot this thing?”

Kallus scowled. “Garazeb, I’ll have you know I’m quite a good pilot. You just haven’t seen me fly much.”

“Oh? Better than me, are you?” Zeb grinned, pressing a kiss to Kallus’s temple. “I think we should test that.”

Huffing a laugh, Kallus replied, “In the simulators. I don’t want you crashing my new ship.”

Zeb gasped in feigned offense. “Alexsandr Kallus, are you implying I can’t fly a ship?”

“I know you’re a decent pilot,” Kallus said. “But you’re not a really good one. There’s a reason Hera doesn’t let you fly the Ghost, just the Phantom II.”

Zeb laughed. “Okay, good point.”

Kallus smiled, but said nothing. Slowly, his grin fell, becoming something sad and miserable. “I don’t want this,” he said. “I want to stay on the Ghost with you.”

“And I’d come with you if Hera’d let me, “ Zeb said. “But you’re a victim of your own abilities. You’re too good at this stuff. They saw you lead the commandos, they know you fly well.”

“I could refuse the promotion and position,” Kallus said. “Stay with you.”

Zeb stood there for a moment, obviously considering the idea. “No,” he said finally. “It’s where you’re needed. They were gonna split us up sooner or later.”

Kallus felt a jolt. “You’re not saying–”

“No!” Zeb said quickly. “No, I’m not saying we should split up. I’m just saying it was silly to believe we’d get to stay together the whole time.”

It wasn’t silly, Kallus wanted to argue. It was everything I was fighting for. “I suppose you’re right.”

“‘Course I’m right,” Zeb said, giving Kallus’s shoulders a squeeze. “Come on, it’s dinnertime.”

Zeb slid his arm down Kallus’s back and caught his hand so they could walk together to the mess.

The fare on Home One was not quite as varied as the food on Yavin IV had been, but it was edible and, most importantly, not a nutrient paste, so Kallus was happy with it. He picked out a few spoonfuls of promising-looking dishes and followed Zeb to an empty table.

Their table didn’t stay empty for long. Hera joined them, as did Zaarin, Kallus’s former roommate. The talk, of course, was all of Kallus’s promotion.

Hera seemed apologetic. “I’m sorry to see you two split up, but General Cracken was insistent.”

Kallus gave her a small, reassuring smile. “It’s really okay,” he said, even though it wasn’t. “It was bound to happen at some point.”

“So who’re you picking for your crew?” Zaarin asked, raking back his shaggy hair from his face. “You need a commando, right?”

“You want to give up command?” Kallus asked. “What will Orenth-2 do without you?”

“They’re planning on merging us with Major Lissiri’s unit,” Zaarin said. “So I’m history either way. Might as well go out and see the galaxy, not just battlefields.”

Kallus chewed his food, thinking. Did he really want to work with Zaarin? The man was a friend and they’d survived living together, but… well, Zaarin could be a bit grating. “Fine,” he said after a minute. “I’ll submit your name.”

“Great!” Zaarin leaned forward. “Now, if you really want to make me happy, you’ll ask that new elomin in Intelligence, too. I hear she’s killer with a Kyuzo petar.”

Everyone else at the table sighed. Zaarin’s penchant for aliens – especially aliens with horns, such as elomin – was well-known.

“Tell you what,” Kallus said. “If you can tell me her name, right now, I’ll ask her. But if she’s just ‘the new elomin…’”

“Mikal,” Zaarin answered quickly. “I do pay attention to that sort of thing, you know.”

“No, we don’t know that,” Zeb laughed. “Gotta say, I’m surprised.”

Hera grinned, too. “Looks like you’ve got two crew members already, Kallus.”

“Only if Cracken approves all the transfers,” Kallus said. “So Zaarin, you’re good with explosives and apparently this Mikal is good with melee weapons. I’m a good ranged shot. We have a droid. What are we missing?”

“You want a mechanic,” Hera said. “Can’t tell you the number of times I’ve found myself wishing we had one.”

“Hey!” Zeb protested. “I do that sort of work!”

Hera smiled. “You do and you do it well. But it’d be nice to have you in a turret while someone else works on the shields when they fail. I don’t want to have to choose where you go.”

Zeb leaned back in his chair. “Fair enough,” he said. He turned to Kallus. “Grab a verpine if you can. If not, grab Jaci.”

Kallus nodded. Jaci had never quite bounced back after losing her cousin and both her lovers so close together back on Yavin IV. Instead she’d thrown herself into her work, quickly becoming the most sought-after of the human mechanics. Kallus had a fond spot for her; she’d been one of the first people on Yavin to show him kindness. Perhaps a change would do her well. “If Daine lets her go,” he agreed. “Anyone else?”

Hera shrugged. “We got along with a group of five for a good while before Ezra joined us and I’m sure between you and Zaarin, you can smooth-talk your way out of bad situations one way or another.”

Kallus wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not. He’d use diplomacy if he could but Zaarin would probably flirt his way out of trouble.

And, knowing the bastard, it would work.

“All right. I’ll get those names to Cracken.” Under the table, Kallus reached out for Zeb’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

“So does this make us all Fulcrum agents, too?” Zaarin asked. “‘Cause that’s really good for–”

Hera cleared her throat and Zaarin stopped mid-sentence. Continuing as if Zaarin hadn’t been about to make a lewd comment, she said, “I think Kallus will be the only Fulcrum agent, although you can talk to General Cracken if you’re truly interested.”

Zaarin laughed. “No, I’ll let K handle that one. I was just curious.”

Kallus and Zeb shared a glance and the lasat rolled his eyes. “I think Kal and I need to go,” Zeb said. “Got stuff for him to do.”

Cheeks warm with embarrassment, Kallus let himself be dragged off back to the Ghost.

“Garazeb,” Kallus said, casting about for the right words. “Are you sure you’re all right with me taking this position? We’ll both be gone so often.”

“But you’re not gone yet,” Zeb reasoned. “We’ll worry about that when it happens.” He reached out and pulled Kallus close, into a deep kiss.

Kallus closed his eyes and focused on the kiss: the taste and tang of Zeb, the feel of lips and sharp fangs against his. They’d gone through so much to get to the point where Zeb felt comfortable kissing him, Kallus hated to do anything to mess that up.

Reaching behind him, he hit the door controls and pulled Zeb back into their cabin. “Ollirahnd Kasmera,” he murmured, between kisses. “You realize Glimmer of Hope is a terribly sentimental name?”

“So call it the Glimmer. Or the Kasmera.” Zeb shrugged. ��Better ‘n Glowy Rock That Kept Me Warm.”

Kallus laughed and cupped Zeb’s jaw, running his thumb through the lasat’s bristly beard. “I do love you, Garazeb,” he said.

Zeb arched his brows. “Now who’s the sentimental one, Alex?”

“Only because you made me so.”

Zeb pushed Kallus back on the bed. “Guess I rubbed off on you the right way.”

“Something like that,” Kallus laughed again.

“Tomorrow we’ll get you moved into your new quarters and then break ‘em in properly,” Zeb said. “But you’re not leaving on that ship yet. We’re still together for tonight. And I have plans for you.”

“Plans?” Kallus grinned. “Show me.”

And Zeb did.

Kallus lay there after, wrapped in Zeb’s arms, running his fingers idly through thick purple fur.

Glimmer of Hope, he thought. The Glimmer. I can work with that.

He used to think there wasn’t the slightest bit of hope for both of them to make it through the war together, but Zeb’s steady belief in something better had wormed its way into Kallus’s heart.

Thanks to Zeb, he had more than just a glimmer of hope that there was something for them on the other side of this long war.

And that something was worth fighting for.

Worth living for.

#Susan writes stuff #star wars rebels #kalluzeb

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ad1thi · 4 years

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au masterlist

okay ive been meaning to do this for a while, and ive finally got the time to do it so here’s a list of all of my aus!! this is divided by ship for ease, and i do have a lot of pieces that don’t fit into any specific au - so this post is specifically for aus (this is a rly long post so im hiding it under a read more) (also please nobody comment on how similar the summaries are ive never had to think of how im summarising these aus before this post)

all my writing on tumblr // all my writing on ao3

buckytony

1. your pain (is my burden to bear) AU

Summary: soulmate AU where you can feel your soulmate’s pain, and marks that originate from your soulmate’s injuries can be found on your body

2. target and assassin AU

Summary: The Asset has been tasked with the mission of killing Antonia Stark. Falling in love with her along the way was never part of the plan.

3. park bench AU

Summary: they’re both running from their past. in New York, they find each other.

4. taste of your lips AU

Summary: TVD au. Bucky wasn’t planning to stick around in New York, just drop in long enough to fix whatever his brother had fucked up and then leave. But then he meets Toni Stark, and against all odds - he finds himself staying in the one city he’d sworn never to step foot in for all of his immortal life.

5. the second (love of his life) AU

Summary: greek gods AU, Aphrodite!Bucky x Hephaestus!Bucky . Bucky has spent over a thousand years resenting his marriage to Tony, content to ignore his husband in favour of his lover, Steve. but when he’s captured by Joann Schmidt and its Tony, not Steve who comes to his rescue - Bucky finds himself falling for the husband he spent so many years ignoring. Is it too late, or can he fix a marriage that was doomed from the start?

6. waste my time AU

Summary: Tony doesn’t do boyfriends. Tony has a boyfriend - Tiberius, or he will anyway once he convinces Ty that breaking up with him was a horrible idea. But then he meets James Barnes at a bar, and suddenly things don’t seem so black and white anymore

7. elite AU

Summary: a/b/o dynamics. Bucky isn’t planning on starting anything up in his new school, and would’ve been completely content to keep his head down until he graduates. But after a chance kiss with a bambi-eyed omega at a party in the beginning of the school year, things weren’t looking so simple anymore

8. 1000 lives (for you) AU

Summary: James hasn’t been subjected to the Chair in close to 3 years. After all, why would HYDRA use the Chair to control him when they’ve got his soulmate instead?

9. Secret Love Song AU

Summary: Marrying Steve wasn’t what Toni had in mind when she pictured the rest of her life, but it wasn’t any hardship. Of course, that was before James came into her life. (this au has been race and gender bent since the original post)

10. Dilwale AU

Summary: mafia au. Tony and Bucky used to be in love. Now they’ve sworn never to see each other again. ‘Course, MJ and Peter falling for each other puts a kink in those plans.

11. K3G AU

Summary: desi au. As a member of the illustrious Barnes dynasty, Bucky is expected to undertake certain responsibilities; chief of which is marrying someone from a respectable family. Tony Stark from Chandi Chowk might just put a wrench in those plans.

12. buckytony teen wolf AU

Summary: when Tony and Rhodey went searching for a dead body in the woods, a rogue Alpha werewolf was not what they were expecting to find. Overnight, their entire lives change

13. undercover cop AU

Summary: After the events of Afghanistan, Tony can’t bear to work at Stark Industries anymore. Handing over the reins of the company to Pepper, he quits and starts working at Midtown High. but the US government isn’t about to let one of the country’s biggest assets work at a public highschool without even the smallest bit of protection. Enter Agent Barnes, or as Tony knows him - Midtown High’s new gym teacher

14. the K2 AU

Summary: Bucky just wanted to live his life without the Army ever finding him again. Saving Tony Carbonell at a metro station and getting sucked into the intricate life of the italian mafia was never on the agenda.

15. Mara Dyer AU

Summary: fem! Bucky. Bucky was an extremely normal 16 year old girl - if you discounted the fact that her bestfriend and boyfriend died after an abandoned building collapsed on them; and that she was the only person to survive. Then bodies started dropping around her, people that she imagined dying who died in the exact grotesque way she pictured is. and suddenly, there’s nothing really normal about her at all.

16. ACOMAF AU

Summary: fem! Bucky. Bucky kills a wolf. Except its not a wolf, its a Faerie and the High Lord of the Spring Court comes collecting his pound of flesh.

17. centre of his universe AU

Summary: The Asset is fascinated by the Stark Heir.

18. one shot AU

Summary: highschool AU. nerd! tony x punk!bucky. Bucky has has a crush on Tony Stark for his entire highschool career, but he’s never thought he had a shot - choosing instead to pine uselessly while Tony dates what feels like the entire highschool body. Bucky’s resigned himself to the belief that Tony will never be his, until Tony breaks up with longtime girlfriend Rumiko Fujikawa, and suddenly - Bucky has one shot.

19. 1000 lives (for you) AU

Summary: James Buchanan Barnes and Anthony Edward Stark are impossible soulmates - separated by time, distance and space but brought together by horrible pain and suffering. This is their story. Starts from TWS, and is largely canon compliant.

stevetony

1. student of the year AU

Summary: Steve was supposed to keep his head down, get good grades and get a scholarship to a university far enough away that he wasn’t even breathing the same air as his family. But then he becomes bestfriends with Bucky, falls in love with Bucky’s boyfriend Tony - and things get a bit more complicated along the way

2. just friends(?) AU

Summary: Tony did this, thing where he fell in love with his friends. All of his friends, except maybe Steve. (too bad nobody told Steve)

3. captain americana and the heartbreak prince AU

Summary: Steve Rogers has known Tony Stark for 10 years, 4 months and 11 days. He’s been in love with him for the exact same time.

4. om shanti om AU

Summary: It should be noted, for the sake of posterity - that Steve usually wasn’t one to buy into the craze that surrounded celebrities. At the end of the day, they were still people. Tony Stark though, that was his exception.

5. stevetony lawyer AU

Summary: raising a 14 year old boy while juggling a demanding job at the DA’s office wasn’t easy, but Steve made it work. It wasn’t an easy life, but it was a good life. They were happy - and then Peter gets charged with the murder of his classmate Wade Wilson and everything falls apart. With his son facing life in prison, Steve does the only thing he can and calls the best defence lawyer he knows - his almost fiance Tony Stark.

6. schitt’s creek AU

Summary: David! Tony x Patrick! Steve

7. kidnapped! tony stark AU

Summary: Tony gets kidnapped and Steve loses his mind.

8. zindagi na milengi dobara AU

Summary: desi AU. in college, Steve, Sam and Bucky made a promise. 3 weeks, 3 activities, 3 boys and the country of Spain. 15 years later, Sam is getting married and its time for them to make good on that promise, to give him the send-off of the century. But between Sam’s conflicted feelings over his engagement, unresolved tension that threatens to break up the trio; Bucky’s secret agenda and Steve’s workaholic tendencies - it definitely promises to be a trip they’ll never forget

9. arranged marriage AU

Summary: desi AU. Steve has been in love with Tony for years. So when his mother asks him to settle down, he impulsively sends a rishta to the Stark residence; and thinks nothing of it. And then - they reply.

10. betrothed AU

Summary: Tony and Steve are princes of neighbouring kingdoms, promised to each other at birth. But the life of a royal is not as smooth as it seems.

11. the salacious bisexual life of tony stark AU

Summary: As a journalist, Steve Rogers is expected to write articles on a great many number of things. He didn’t realise that could include his ex boyfriend.

12. Civil War AU

Summary: everything’s the same except: (1) Steve and Tony are dating, (2) Steve doesn’t know Tony is Iron Man

13. stevetony lucifer AU

Summary: Tony is tired of being the Devil, tired of following Howard’s order, tired of all the bullshit that comes with divinity. Malibu isn’t great but its a refreshing change of pace, a nice break from the screaming and the pain. And then he meets Detective Steve Rogers and Malibu suddenly has a lot more to offer.

Note: this AU was started by @imposter-human and all credits for it rightfully go to her. i just piggybacked onto it and added a couple of my own thoughts, but this AU is hers.

rhodeytony

1. Dostana AU

Summary: Rhodey and Tony desperately need a new apartment, and there’s a brilliant one that’s close to where they both work. There’s only catch though, the landlord, Pepper (who is stunning) only accepts applications from couples. After a night drowning their sorrows in the local bar, they come up with the brilliant idea to pose as a gay couple for the apartment. They move in, and come up with increasingly stupid ways to impress their new landlord without exposing that their marriage is a shamNeither bestfriend likes to lose, and both of them have their eyes set on one person: Pepper (or do they?)

2. rajput tony stark AU

Summary: desi AU. Toni Stark comes from a long line of rajput royalty. (this au has been genderbent since the original post)

3. civil war rhodeytony AU

Summary: civil war scenes re-imagined with an established rhodeytony and a past stevetonyrhodey otv.

4. me and my bestfriend but make it rhodeytony

Summary: memories of me and LRP but re-imagined as Tony and Rhodey

5. meri pyaari bindu AU

Summary: To the rest of the world, he’s always be a Mr someone - but to Rhodey, he has and forever will be, his very first love, Tony.

6. doctor who AU

Summary: Doctor! Tony Stark x River Song! fem James Rhodes

7. female tony AU

Summary: Tony doesn’t like Rhodey’s new girlfriend. (he’s still trying to figure out why)

stevebuckytony

1. stephanie rogers AU

Summary: Steph Rogers was never supposed to find herself on the frontlines of World War 2. Then again, she wasn’t supposed to do a lot of things. - the mcu re-imagined with genderbent Steve. eventual stevetonybucky otv

2. on your knees AU

Summary: dom/sub AU. Tony is relearning what it means to be alive in a world where he’s not in the clutches of HYDRA, and misinterprets a scene between dom! Steve and sub! Bucky

samtonybucky

1. president tony stark AU

Summary: Tony Stark is sworn in at the 46th President of the United States. Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes are assigned to his detail.

buckytonynat

1. the Carbonell Family AU

Summary: Anthony Carbonell is the patriarch of the Italian Mafia, Natasha and James are his bodyguards (and lovers). Steve Rogers is the FBI agent who’s vowed to bring him down.

clarktony (superiron)

1. bound by blood AU

Summary: when Clark’s parents die, Howard Stark takes him in. Desperate to recreate the serum by any means necessary he starts experimenting on both his new foster child, and his own flesh and blood son in an attempt to create the next supersoldier. Years later, Clark has broken free of Howard and is now Superman; but he and Tony are connected in ways he couldn’t even begin to understand

gen

1. morgan stark’s villain origin story AU

Summary: Morgan Stark isn’t a normal girl. It might have something to do with the death of her father.

2. blind tony stark AU

Summary: Tony loses his sight when he’s 15 after a kidnapping gone wrong.

3. desi! tony stark AU

Summary: just a link to all pieces that have desi! tony stark in them.

4. slytherin! tony stark AU

Summary: just a link to all pieces that have slytherin! tony stark in them.

5. AU-gust 2020

Summary: a masterlist to all the AUs i did for AU-gust, spanning various ships and fandoms

6. sins of the father AU

Summary: Harley has always known who his birth father is. It just never occurred to him, that his birth father might not know who his son is. im3 compliant. slightly aged up harley keener (he’s in highschool not middle school)

#my writing #au masterlist #this genuinely took ages to compile so please appreciate this #and give my aus some love #making this made me realise how many AUs that i have to update or extrapolate #some of these AUs will probably never be revisited #but who knows maybe if someone shows interest in a dead AU #i might find inspiration to add to it

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aboveallarescuer · 4 years

Text

How Dany assesses the counsel she receives and makes her own choices - Dealing with the conflicts inside Meereen

This will be a series of posts meant to show that Dany is open to receiving advice and criticism, but that she doesn’t act solely based on what other people tell her to do. On the opposite, GRRM makes great effort to write a Dany who most often merges different viewpoints and/or finds her own solutions to the problems she’s facing. I won’t include every single decision she ever made (e.g. her decisions at court are often made without counsel and her execution of the ritual to hatch the dragon eggs was already exhaustively and deftly analyzed by other people), but there will be plenty of instances in this series that will prove my point nonetheless. The metas will always have four items: in which chapters the events mentioned take place; what advice she receives and from whom; what were her actions; the verdict (whether she followed other people’s advice, ignored/rejected them or did both at the same time).

Chapter (s):

ADWD Daenerys I, II, IV, V, VI, IX

The advice Dany receives:

Barristan warns Dany that the Unsullied aren't well-suited to ask people about what happened to Stalwart Shield nor inquire about the Sons's activities (ADWD Dany I). In the reopening of Daznak's Pit, Barristan recommends that Dany uses the Unsullied to protect her rather than the Brazen Beasts due to his distrust in them, his uncertainty about their skills and his fear that the Sons are still around (ADWD Dany IX).

The Shavepate recommends the killing of a man from each family for Stalwart Shield's death and the killing of two if another death occurs (ADWD Dany I). He also suggests torturing the daughters of the wineseller while he watches (ADWD Dany II). Later, he urges Dany to kill the child hostages to prevent the murders from continuing (ADWD Dany IV). At last, he proposes torturing Hizdahr (because he believes he's involved with the Harpy's Sons) and seizing people from the ruling families so that Dany can get her ships back (ADWD Dany V).

Reznak is against any sort of punishment to the nobles for the Sons's murders (ADWD Dany I, II).

Daario is in favor of Dany gathering all the masters in the Temple of the Graces under the false pretense of marrying Hizdahr and killing them all (ADWD Dany IV).

Dany's actions:

We open up ADWD with Dany in her lion pelt sitting on her ebon bench. She is still asleep and couldn't even properly dress because the matter was too urgent for her to spare any time: one of her soldiers was killed.

“Your Grace,” said Ser Barristan Selmy, the lord commander of her Queensguard, “there is no need for you to see this.”

“He died for me.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Like I said before, Dany's conception of queenship is one of self-sacrifice and accountability. Another ruler might have taken care of the matter at another time or even left it entirely to one of their advisors, but Dany wants to show gratitude (like she did with Doreah) and to take responsibility and not look away (like she did with the 163 children who were crucified).

The corpse is shown and Dany, because of the knowledge she acquired from her childhood in the Free Cities (she lived in six of the nine), is able to guess the man's origins:

The dead man’s face was smooth and hairless, though his cheeks had been slashed open ear to ear. He had been a tall man, blue-eyed and fair of face. Some child of Lys or Old Volantis, snatched off a ship by corsairs and sold into bondage in red Astapor. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Barristan begins to explain that the Sons were behind the attack, which they took responsibility by drawing a harpy on the bricks. Dany already knows how they operate, so she accurately intuits which material was used to draw it:

“… drawn in blood.” Daenerys knew the way of it by now. The Sons of the Harpy did their butchery by night, and over each kill they left their mark. (ADWD Daenerys I)

She then asks Grey Worm why the soldier was alone, since she had taken measures to prevent any of them from being killed:

“Grey Worm, why was this man alone? Had he no partner?” By her command, when the Unsullied walked the streets of Meereen by night they always walked in pairs. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Grey Worm, seemingly embarassed, admits that he went to "a house of pleasure", which Dany correctly guesses to be a brothel. Dany is empathetic and quite aware of the freedmen's difficult situation, so she makes no moral judgment about the fact that so many were opened lately:

A brothel. Half of her freedmen were from Yunkai, where the Wise Masters had been famed for training bedslaves. The way of the seven sighs. Brothels had sprouted up like mushrooms all over Meereen. It is all they know. They need to survive. Food was more costly every day, whilst the price of flesh grew cheaper. In the poorer districts between the stepped pyramids of Meereen’s slaver nobility, there were brothels catering to every conceivable erotic taste, she knew. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Even so, she doesn't understand why would an eunuch go to a brothel. Grey Worm responds that Stalwart Shield wanted "the women of the brothels to lie with him and hold him", an answer that profoundly affects Dany:

The blood of the dragon does not weep. “Stalwart Shield,” she said, dry-eyed. “That was his name?”

“If it please Your Grace.”

“It is a fine name.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

As I said before, Dany often uses the phrase "the blood of the dragon" to retain her composure and act as a proper monarch, and this moment is no exception: she reminds herself to not cry, makes sure she remains "dry-eyed" and praises his name. Because she's now emotionally affected by what happened, she can't help but wish for vengeance (which is normal, for it is linked with the desire for justice in her case) for his death:

Dany said a silent prayer that somewhere one of the Harpy’s Sons was dying even now, clutching at his belly and writhing in pain. (ADWD Daenerys I)

“Find these cowards for me. Find them, so that I might teach the Harpy’s Sons what it means to wake the dragon.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Dany notes that he was the first of her soldiers that the Sons dared to kill. Barristan warns her that others will die, which is a cause of great distress for a queen who "belongs to her people, not to herself" and who recently made it clear that she wants to bring "peace, prosperity and justice" to the city:

I am still at war, Dany realized, only now I am fighting shadows. She had hoped for a respite from the killing, for some time to build and heal. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Then, she vows that Stalwart Shield will be remembered:

Shrugging off the lion pelt, she knelt beside the corpse and closed the dead man’s eyes, ignoring Jhiqui’s gasp. “Stalwart Shield shall not be forgotten. Have him washed and dressed for battle and bury him with cap and shield and spears.”

“It shall be as Your Grace commands,” said Grey Worm.

“Send men to the Temple of the Graces and ask if any man has come to the Blue Graces with a sword wound. And spread the word that we will pay good gold for the short sword of Stalwart Shield. Inquire of the butchers and the herdsmen, and learn who has been gelding goats of late.” Perhaps some goatherd would confess. “Henceforth, no man of mine walks alone after dark.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Here, we see that Dany: a) orders for Stalwart Shield to be properly buried and honored, b) offers more gold to anyone who might give information about who was behind his murder and c) forbids all of her soldiers to walk at night so that they might not become casualties as well. Later, d) she names a company of freedmen after him and e) thinks about him when she considers giving away her personal happiness and sexual autonomy because "she owed it to her dead". She is, indeed, making sure that he's not forgotten.

Barristan counsels Dany not to use the Unsullied for the jobs she gave them because "they were made for the battlefield" rather than to "unravel secrets or ask questions". Dany considers both his feedback and her available options and concludes that the Unsullied are still the best choice for now, which displays her critical thinking skills:

“Would knights serve me any better?” Selmy was training knights for her, teaching the sons of slaves to fight with lance and longsword in the Westerosi fashion … but what good would lances do against cowards who killed from the shadows? (ADWD Daenerys I)

“Then who, if not Unsullied? Dothraki would be even worse.” Dothraki fought from horseback. Mounted men were of more use in open fields and hills than in the narrow streets and alleys of the city. (ADWD Daenerys I)

“When the Stormcrows return from Lhazar, perhaps I can use them in the streets,” she told Ser Barristan, “but until then I have only the Unsullied.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Later, she meets with two of her advisors, Reznak (who is pro-nobility) and the Shavepate (who is anti-slavery). In keeping with her previous actions to remember Stalwart Shield, Dany demands that they call him by his name.

“We were told about the eunuch.”

“His name was Stalwart Shield.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Then, we get this bit of exposition from the Shavepate, who reminds Dany of her large number of enemies:

“...Zhak, Hazkar, Ghazeen, Merreq, Loraq, all the old slaving families. Pahl. Pahl, most of all. A house of women now. Bitter old women with a taste for blood. Women do not forget. Women do not forgive.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Which leads Dany, who is already angry for what happened to Stalwart Shield, to think about when she returns to Westeros and teaches the Usurper's dogs that she does not forgive. I've talked about this before here and here, but, while Dany is not right in reducing them to a single group, she is right that Robert should be held accountable for the deaths of innocent children, about which he did nothing to bring justice.

There is more to what the Shavepate said, though: his overfocus on women, more particularly on "bitter old women", is another indication from the narrative (albeit not entirely conclusive) that Galazza Galare working against Dany. In fact, she might be the Harpy herself coordinating the Sons's attacks, if this passage from ASOS is any indication:

She had a woman’s face, with gilded hair, ivory eyes, and pointed ivory teeth. Water gushed yellow from her heavy breasts. But in place of arms she had the wings of a bat or a dragon, her legs were the legs of an eagle, and behind she wore a scorpion’s curled and venomous tail.

The harpy of Ghis, Dany thought. (ASOS Daenerys II)

Behind them, huge against the sky, could be seen the top of the Great Pyramid, a monstrous thing eight hundred feet tall with a towering bronze harpy at its top.

“The harpy is a craven thing,” Daario Naharis said when he saw it. “She has a woman’s heart and a chicken’s legs. Small wonder her sons hide behind their walls.” (ASOS Daenerys V)

Back to the advisors. They have different suggestions for Dany concerning what to do to prevent more deaths like Stalwart Shield's. The Shavepate favors killing a man from each noble family for Stalwart Shield's death now. If another death occurs, she should kill two from each noble family. Meanwhile, Reznak asks for restraint by saying that the murderers will be found and proven to be "baseborn filth". Dany ends up following Reznak's advice, not because she views the freedmen negatively, of course, but because of this:

“How can I punish them when I do not know who they are?” Dany demanded of him.

Dany doesn't want to punish people indiscriminately, and she will reverberate the same feelings later with three different people here, here and here. These moments show how using violent methods isn't Dany's comfort zone nor the first option that comes up in her mind (the torture of the wineseller and his daughters was certainly not her idea, for instance, even if she remains responsible for it). Instead, she wants to specifically target Stalwart Shield's killer, and she's not afraid of using her gold to do so, even if it brings no profit to her:

“How much gold have we offered for information concerning the Sons of the Harpy?” Dany asked.

“One hundred honors, if it please Your Radiance.”

“One thousand honors would please us more. Make it so.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

While we're at it, it's interesting to consider Dany's feelings on these men. This is how she describes the Shavepate:

Ghiscari hair was dense and wiry; it had long been the fashion for the men of the Slaver Cities to tease it into horns and spikes and wings. By shaving, Skahaz had put old Meereen behind him to accept the new, and his kin had done the same after his example. Others followed, though whether from fear, fashion, or ambition, Dany could not say; shavepates, they were called. Skahaz was the Shavepate … and the vilest of traitors to the Sons of the Harpy and their ilk. (ADWD Daenerys I)

First, Dany's shrewdness comes through in her guesses regarding why Skahaz's kin would shave like him - "fear, fashion or ambition". This is a great variety of reasons from her. And it's noteworthy that, for all the claims that she is too idealistic and naive (and she still is, to an extent, of course), she never considers that people might be following his example because of their devotion to his cause. Here, like in other moments, Dany proves that she has a healthy dose of skepticism about other people's intentions. When it comes to the Shavepate, she thinks he has a "brutal, angry face" and "prays it was an honest one as well".

That being said, I would say that her assessment of him is ambivalent, even more so when you compare it to how she judges Reznak:

The seneschal wore a tokar of maroon silk with a golden fringe. A small, damp man, he smelled as if he had bathed in perfume and spoke a bastard form of High Valyrian, much corrupted and flavored with a thick Ghiscari growl.

The seneschal was as bald as Skahaz, though in his case the gods were responsible. “Should any hair be so insolent as to appear, my barber stands with razor ready,” he had assured her when she raised him up. There were times when Dany wondered if that razor might not be better saved for Reznak’s throat. He was a useful man, but she liked him little and trusted him less. The Undying of Qarth had told her she would be thrice betrayed.

I know Dany is made to be suspicious of Reznak because she suspects (reasonably) that he is the "perfumed seneschal", but one could speculate that there is more to it. Reznak is wearing a tokar, described earlier by Dany as as "a master's garment, a sign of wealth and power". It is a major symbol of the social inequality that favors the masters over the freedmen, which Dany is quite conscious and critical of. Because she is an abolitionist figure who wants equality for everyone, it's only natural that she feels uncomfortable using it (and ends up rejecting it, as she does the peace). When it comes to Reznak, I wonder if seeing him willingly use it might make Dany unconsciously predisposed to view him in a harsher light. Accordingly, she also thinks that his High Valyrian is a "bastard form" for being "corrupted" with his "Ghiscari growl".

It must be said, however, that, in trying to associate Dany's discomfort with the Meereenese culture with her hatred of slavery and giving little page time and development to the freedmen (who could've been three-dimensional and diverse like the Free Folk), the one group she is advocating for, GRRM can make Dany look "intolerant" to readers who aren't that interested in her, and this particular instance with Reznak could be interpreted as such. Then there's also the fact that Dany views Reznak negatively partly because he has conventionally feminine traits, something that she has in common with Ned (and his views on Varys) and that I discuss here.

Anyway, to sum up my thoughts on the Shavepate and Reznak, I wanted to show how she views the latter more negatively than the former, even though she follows the latter's advice. That's because Dany doesn't rely on a single viewpoint, but only on her own.

In ADWD Daenerys II, Dany is informed that nine freedmen were killed in one night, which frightens her. Because she cares about giving the freedmen justice, her (righteous) outrage at seeing them suffer is that much deeper. After finding out that the murderers weren't conclusively identified, but that suspects were found, Dany initially asks for them to be interrogated, though she is skeptical of their innocence:

They all plead ignorance and beg for mercy. “Give them to the Shavepate. Skahaz, keep each apart from the others and put them to the question.”

“It will be done, Your Worship. Would you have me question them sweetly, or sharply?”

“Sweetly, to begin. Hear what tales they tell and what names they give you. It may be they had no part in this.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

But then, she finds out that Rylona Rhee was tortured and killed, which brings us to this controversial moment:

Mercy, thought Dany. They will have the dragon’s mercy. “Skahaz, I have changed my mind. Question the man sharply.”

“I could. Or I could question the daughters sharply whilst the father looks on. That will wring some names from him.”

“Do as you think best, but bring me names.” Her fury was a fire in her belly. (ADWD Daenerys II)

I've already written my thoughts on this scene, so I'll just say this: however morally questionable Dany's actions were here (and they were morally questionable), they can't be decontextualized (the Shavepate had seeded the idea, as I said before), they can't be divorced from the reality of this world and they can't be reduced to vengeance when that's linked to justice and when monarchies tend to be (and even encourage the ruler to be) inherently arbitrary.

Then, Dany makes plenty of decisions on her own to guarantee the safety of her Unsullied:

“I will have no more Unsullied slaughtered. Grey Worm, pull your men back to their barracks. Henceforth let them guard my walls and gates and person. From this day, it shall be for Meereenese to keep the peace in Meereen. Skahaz, make me a new watch, made up in equal parts of shavepates and freedmen.”

“As you command. How many men?”

“As many as you require.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

Which then leads Reznak to question how she'll pay them. She decides that the nobles will suffer consequences this time:

“From the pyramids. Call it a blood tax. I will have a hundred pieces of gold from every pyramid for each freedman that the Harpy’s Sons have slain.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

She also makes it clear that she won't let any of the nobles flee from Meereen with resources this time:

Daenerys was sick unto death of Zhak and Merreq; she was sick of all the Meereenese, great and small alike. “Let them go, but see that they take no more than the clothes upon their backs. Make certain that all their gold remains here with us. Their stores of food as well.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

Because Dany left the Yunkish's financial resources intact, they ended up "return[ing] to slaving as soon as she moved on" and "rais[ed] levies, hir[ed] sellswords, and [made] alliances against her". Now it seems that Dany is learning her lesson and not letting the enemy retain power if she is able to neutralize it. One could argue that this is just to pay the soldiers' wages rather than a decision made based on her previous mistake, but again, it is still a sign that she is learning from what happened before, which is commendable.

Reznak tries to persuade Dany to be more lenient by pointing out the nobles' concern for their children. His comment has the opposite effect on Dany. She thinks she is also afraid for her own and then makes another decision on her own:

“We must keep them safe as well. I will have two children from each of them. From the other pyramids as well. A boy and a girl.”

“Hostages,” said Skahaz, happily.

“Pages and cupbearers. If the Great Masters make objection, explain to them that in Westeros it is a great honor for a child to be chosen to serve at court.” (ADWD Daenerys II)

Dany's handling of the situation here is, once again, very interesting. Like in Stalwart Shield's case, you could say that she only followed the counsel of a single advisor - she chose Reznak's side before and now she chose Skahaz's. However, analyzing these situations that way would greatly oversimplify Dany's decisionmaking. As we see in this case, she makes all the major decisions on her own: she asks for the wineseller and his daughters to be questioned; she asks for the Shavepate to create a new watch; she creates a blood tax to compensate for the deaths of the freedmen and pay the soldiers she'll employ; she makes the decision to take hostages in case the murders continue.

In the next chapter, we get more information on the Shavepate's new watch, the Brazen Beasts. Dany says that the Sons fear them, which may or may not be true since she's putting up a front to be resist Xaro's thinly disguised attempts to undermine her power, confidence, achievements and skills. Even so, it seems to have been a successful decision:

“...They fear my Brazen Beasts.” Skahaz mo Kandaq had given her the new watch she had asked for, made up in equal numbers of freedmen and shavepate Meereenese. They walked the streets both day and night, in dark hoods and brazen masks. The Sons of the Harpy had promised grisly death to any traitor who dared serve the dragon queen, and to their kith and kin as well, so the Shavepate’s men went about as jackals, owls, and other beasts, keeping their true faces hidden. (ADWD Daenerys III)

I'll talk about this more on another post, but, in the context of the military forces that Dany created, it's convenient to mention that she also organized the freedmen to better defend the city without anyone's advice:

“My freedman—” Dany started.

“Bedslaves, barbers, and brickmakers win no battles.”

He was wrong in that, she hoped. The freedmen had been a rabble once, but she had organized the men of fighting age into companies and commanded Grey Worm to make them into soldiers. (ADWD Daenerys III)

Even then, however, the killings still continue in ADWD Daenerys IV, which affects Dany a lot:

“...More freedmen died last night, or so I have been told.”

“Three.” Saying it left a bitter taste in her mouth. “The cowards broke in on some weavers, freedwomen who had done no harm to anyone. All they did was make beautiful things. I have a tapestry they gave me hanging over my bed. The Sons of the Harpy broke their loom and raped them before slitting their throats.” (ADWD Daenerys IV)

(This passage may also be hinting at something else...)

However, she doesn't have it in her to murder innocent people, much less innocent children.

Hazzea was enough. What good is peace if it must be purchased with the blood of little children? “These murders are not their doing,” Dany told the Green Grace, feebly. “I am no butcher queen.” (ADWD Daenerys IV)

Besides Dany's moral principles, her outlook should also be contextualized by her life experiences - as a child whom her enemies tried to kill and as a mother whose child was also targeted, Dany's reluctance is very understandable. However, by taking hostages and not harming them when the Sons still continued to act, Dany implicitly stated that she won't react as ruthlessly as one might expect from the Mother of Dragons, which, unfortunately, puts all of the freedmen in jeopardy.

I've talked about this before, and I'll be brief here because I intend to make another post about Dany's attempts to merge with the Meereenese, but, for the sake of context: I believe that the Green Grace is manipulating Dany in ADWD Daenerys IV. She tactfully mentions the Shavepate as someone who would be okay with killing children while then contrasting him to Hizdahr, the "perfect" husband for Dany to take if she wants to give the city peace (unjust as it is). As for Hizdahr, this exchange is relevant here, for it shows both Dany inquiring him about the Sons and, I would argue, his manipulation:

“Why should the Sons of the Harpy lay down their knives for you? Are you one of them?”

“No.”

“Would you tell me if you were?”

He laughed. “No.”

“The Shavepate has ways of finding the truth.”

“I do not doubt that Skahaz would soon have me confessing. A day with him, and I will be one of the Harpy’s Sons. Two days, and I will be the Harpy. Three, and it will turn out I slew your father too, back in the Sunset Kingdoms when I was yet a boy. Then he will impale me on a stake and you can watch me die … but afterward the killings will go on.” Hizdahr leaned closer. “Or you can marry me and let me try to stop them.”

“Why would you want to help me? For the crown?”

“A crown would suit me well, I will not deny that. It is more than that, however. Is it so strange that I would want to protect my own people, as you protect your freedmen? Meereen cannot endure another war, Your Radiance.”

That was a good answer, and an honest one. (ADWD Daenerys IV)

I don't think Dany was wrong when she described Hizdahr as "cunning" two chapters ago. Not only there is a lot of textual evidence that suggests that he is working with the Sons (here and here), but the arguments he makes here seem fabricated and designed specifically with the intent to appeal to Dany's desire to protect her people ("Meereen cannot endure another war") and avoid more collateral damage ("let me try to stop them"), all the while painting the Shavepate very negatively ("Skahaz would soon have me confessing").

With no good options here, Dany promises to marry Hizdahr on one condition:

“Peace is my desire. You say that you can help me end the nightly slaughter in my streets. I say do it. Put an end to this shadow war, my lord. That is your quest. Give me ninety days and ninety nights without a murder, and I will know that you are worthy of a throne.[”] (ADWD Daenerys IV)

After her decision, this is how Dany thinks that her two counsellors will react:

The Shavepate will not be happy with me, but Reznak mo Reznak will dance for joy. Dany did not know which of those concerned her more. She needed Skahaz and the Brazen Beasts, and she had come to mistrust all of Reznak’s counsel. Beware the perfumed seneschal. Has Reznak made common cause with Hizdahr and the Green Grace and set some trap to snare me? (ADWD Daenerys IV)

Even here, where one might think that Dany is being fooled by the nobles, the writer makes an effort to show that that's not the case. Dany is not entirely trustful of them and considers if the three are setting some trap for her. Like I've emphasized so many times above in this post, the author works hard to showcase how Dany's political goals and views are not the same as those of any of her advisors, nor does she ever rely entirely on any of them.

Since the marriage is Dany's solution to ending the recent terrorist attacks in the city, I also need to point out what Barristan suggests to Dany here:

“[I]t is important to me that you should understand. My people are bleeding. Dying. A queen belongs not to herself, but to the realm. Marriage or carnage, those are my choices. A wedding or a war.”

“Your Grace, may I speak frankly?”

“Always.”

“There is a third choice.”

“Westeros?”

He nodded. (ADWD Daenerys IV)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if/when Dany decides to leave for Westeros, it won't be an "immoral and awful" decision (as Feldman says here). Fighting for her claim to the Iron Throne will simply be acting like any feudal lord would. In fact, framing Dany's eventual change of attitude as negative is very, very unfair, not only because she was already doing and sacrificing far more than she had to (as the book passage above shows), but also because she was never going to have a perfect and unambiguous victory in Slaver's Bay, no matter how much time she stays or how much effort she puts.

Anyway, back to discussing Dany's decisionmaking. In the same chapter, she explains to Daario (who had just returned from his mission to Lhazar) how the chaos in her city came to be, so he urges her to pretend she will marry Hizdahr only so she can gather all of the Great Masters in the Temple of the Graces and kill them all. These are her reactions:

“We have no proof this is their work. Would you have me slaughter my own subjects?” (ADWD Daenerys IV)

“Do you take me for the Butcher King?”

“Better the butcher than the meat. All kings are butchers. Are queens so different?”

“This queen is.” (ADWD Daenerys IV)

As we see once more, Dany is not willing to use indiscriminate violence against the Meereenese, even if she hates them. Daario tells her that a queen who won't be a butcher is a queen who is only a "brood mare" (as Cersei puts it), which Dany doesn't take well. She asks, angry, if she forgot who she is, and he makes the same question to her. Then, she finally orders him to leave.

I have more thoughts on Daario's advice, but I'll get to them later.

In ADWD Daenerys V, twenty-six days have passed without a single murder. The Shavepate is clearly irritated; he makes, in my opinion, a very convincing case when he says that Hizdahr's visits to several pyramids indicate that all of these families were aligned with the Sons and that he is conspiring with them. Dany is not so sure:

Skahaz was convinced that somewhere in Meereen the Sons of the Harpy had a highborn overlord, a secret general commanding an army of shadows. Dany did not share his belief. The Brazen Beasts had taken dozens of the Harpy’s Sons, and those who had survived their capture had yielded names when questioned sharply … too many names, it seemed to her. It would have been pleasant to think that all the deaths were the work of a single enemy who might be caught and killed, but Dany suspected that the truth was otherwise. My enemies are legion. “Hizdahr zo Loraq is a persuasive man with many friends. And he is wealthy. Perhaps he has bought this peace for us with gold, or convinced the other highborn that our marriage is in their best interests.” (ADWD Daenerys V)

While it could be argued that Hizdahr's words ("I do not doubt that Skahaz would soon have me confessing") have partly shaped Dany's views on the matter, I don't think her reasoning should be reduced to his influence. It makes perfect sense for the attacks not to be coordinated by a single person and that they are happening concurrently and being financed and ordered by different people at the same time. It also makes perfect sense for Hizdahr not to be directly involved with the killings (though I think he is), but rather that he has plenty of friends and managed to convince them to end the Sons' activities with bribery.

Perhaps more importantly, as @rainhadaenerys questioned in a conversation we had: even if the Green Grace (the one character most often identified as the Harpy) was found as their leader and arrested, would it have stopped the Sons' killings? It seems much more likely that they would have continued (either with the Sons or with another faction), because there are too many nobles interested in bringing her down. As Dany realizes, "[her] enemies are legion". That's a pretty solid conclusion. Maybe she would only be able to stop them if she followed Daario's advice (hence why she thinks about it one chapter later), which she is not willing to do.

Whatever happens, my point is that Dany's guess is logical and may even come to pass, so it's not a sign of stupidity at all that she couldn't imagine that the priestess Galazza Galare is the Harpy.

The Shavepate asks for Dany authorize his torture of Hizdahr, which she forbids:

“No,” she said. “I do not trust these confessions. You’ve brought me too many of them, all of them worthless.”

“Your Radiance—”

“No, I said.” (ADWD Daenerys V)

While I don't think that this is a situation that can be merely described as "Dany learned that torture is wrong" because there are several other factors at play, it's also true that she is the only ruler we've seen onpage ordering them to be stopped. Like I said when she proposed to take the gold and food from the nobles who would leave Meereen, it seems that Dany is learning from her mistakes.

Then, the Shavepate suggests sending the Brazen Beasts to the pyramids of all the ruling families of Meereen and seizing them so that Dany can win back the ships that she lost. Instead of trying to make his advice more appealing to Dany, he continues to press on the need for violence, which she has already made clear she'll avoid and reiterates it again:

“If I send the Brazen Beasts into the pyramids, it will mean open war inside the city. I have to trust in Hizdahr. I have to hope for peace.” Dany held the parchment above a candle and watched the names go up in flame, while Skahaz glowered at her. (ADWD Daenerys V)

It's quite noticeable that the Shavepate is out of his depth when the other person won't agree with his methods.

However, despite Dany's insistence to maintain a more moderate course of action, we see that she is aware that this choice makes her vulnerable:

Afterward, Ser Barristan told her that her brother Rhaegar would have been proud of her. Dany remembered the words Ser Jorah had spoken at Astapor: Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaegar died. (ADWD Daenerys V)

Let's contextualize the advice. When was it received and how did Dany deal with it? Was that good advice from Jorah? I would argue that it was not, since he was trying to normalize the training of the Unsullied and the existence of slavery in general as necessary evils if Dany is to win the game of thrones. However, his advice was useful in another sense: sometimes you can't play by the rules if you intend to succeed. And so, like with Viserys and Drogo, she found a solution that was informed by Jorah's influence while also being her own: by refusing to view the slaves as objects to be traded, Dany considered the deal illegitimate and sparked an abolitionist campaign that would influence an entire continent. In other words, Dany did not play by the rules (like he advised), but not by compromising her moral principles (like he intended), but because of her moral principles.

So, why are we being reminded of that advice now? Before I write my own interpretation, I also want to point out that Daario's advice from ADWD Daenerys IV stays in her mind long enough for her to remember it two chapters later (which very likely means that the author is trying to say something with it):

Get the heads of all the noble houses out of their pyramids on some pretext, Daario had said. The dragon’s words are fire and blood. Dany pushed the thought aside. It was not worthy of her. (ADWD Daenerys VI)

Dany has these thoughts when she is forced to make more compromises for the sake of her marriage. I want to make a separate post centered on her attempts to merge with the Meereenese nobles, so I won't dwell on the particular context of this passage here. What I want is to call attention to the fact that Daario's advice serves a similar purpose to that of Jorah's. Like Jorah, Daario also thinks Dany should compromise her moral values for the sake of her goal (in this case, crush the resistance inside her city). So, what are we to make of these moments? (Keep in mind that this is all speculation)

Someone who defends the peace agreement would call them "temptations", but, as I've argued here, I believe that war is the only righteous option in this particular case. Daenerys's eventual mindset shift, which is seeded in the two passages above, do not indicate that she's turning her back on the freedmen, but rather that she is turning back into the Daenerys of ASOS who made this statement:

“Freedom!” she sang out. “Dracarys! Dracarys!”

“Dracarys!” they shouted back, the sweetest word she’d ever heard. “Dracarys! Dracarys!” And all around them slavers ran and sobbed and begged and died, and the dusty air was filled with spears and fire. (ASOS Daenerys III)

Just as Dany's use of draconic force was once associated with freedom, I believe they will be framed as righteous once again in TWOW. The author's choice to have Dany remember Jorah's advice in ASOS Daenerys II makes me hopeful. Like I said above, Dany was given a suggestion and filtered it to make it her own decision. In ADWD Daenerys IV, Daario also asks her not to conform to accepted moral standards, and she remembers his words later on. Instead of that signaling her "downfall" or "moral degradation" or anything that doesn't make sense with her characterization, I think it's much more likely, considering her characterization and her pattern of actions, that she finds a different way that integrates both dragonfire and her morality. This is not to say that everything will go smoothly - I've expressed my doubts and apprehensions before concerning how far GRRM will take the negative consequences of Dany's crusade (and they will emerge, just like they did later in Astapor, because Dany's storyline never has easy and uncomplicated solutions), but, still, I think what both @rainhadaenerys and @yendany suggest in their posts here and here is much more likely, so I'll sum up some of their points here: a) believing that dragons plant no trees is not the ultimate conclusion of Dany's character development, b) understanding when, why, how and to which extent violence is necessary and justified is key and c) a dragon is not a slave because it ultimately won't abide to an unjust and false peace and, by embracing her identity, Dany will be better able to protect her children.

There isn't much more to say about how Dany handled the conflicts inside the city because the Sons only resume their attacks after Dany is gone and Hizdahr is arrested by Barristan and the Shavepate. She does receive advice from Barristan that is related to what I've been discussing in ADWD Daenerys IX, however. In this chapter, he says that he'd rather have Dany be protected by the Unsullied rather than the Brazen Beasts. Half of them are untried freedmen, he argues, and the other half is left undescribed, but Dany intuitively understands what he means:

And the other half are Meereenese of doubtful loyalty, he left unsaid. Selmy mistrusted all the Meereenese, even shavepates.

Even with the suspicions about their allegiance, Dany still goes through with her decision to use the Brazen Beasts as her guards:

“And untried they shall remain unless we try them.” (ADWD Daenerys IX)

“How should Meereen ever come to trust the Brazen Beasts if I do not? There are good brave men beneath those masks. I put my life into their hands.” (ADWD Daenerys IX)

Dany said in the previous chapter that she "was forgetting how to trust", but we see here that that's not really true. During the feast, she was particularly unhappy and miserable about the concessions she was making and how vulnerable to the Yunkish she was becoming, so it was understandable that she would have thoughts charged with frustration. However, now that Dany seems a bit more content and less angry here, once again, her attitude goes back to being one of open-mindedness as it usually is. This makes for compelling and believable (rather than simplistic or contradictory) characterization.

I also like how this decision emphasizes Dany's awareness that a leader should be an example for her subjects (a recurring attitude that goes back to ACOK). Like I've said plenty of times already, she always holds herself accountable - if Queen Daenerys shows that they are trustworthy, eventually, the citizens of Meereen will also feel safe under the protection of this new city watch.

Finally, to appease Barristan, Dany reminds him that she has him and Belwas by her side, which she believes should be enough. Now we've come full circle: if, in ADWD Daenerys I, Dany considered Barristan's feedback and her available options and chose the one she thought was the least worst for a job (the Unsullied), here in ADWD Daenerys IX she is shown doing the same thing (the Brazen Beasts). She's willing to trust in her freedmen both at the beginning and the end.

How Dany assesses the advice she receives

Barristan Selmy

Barristan warns Dany that the Unsullied aren't well-suited to ask people about what happened to Stalwart Shield nor inquire about the Sons's activities (ADWD Dany I).

Dany considers her available options and concludes that the Unsullied are still the best choice for now.

In the reopening of Daznak's Pit, Barristan recommends that Dany uses the Unsullied to protect her rather than the Brazen Beasts due to his distrust in them, his uncertainty about their skills and his fear that the Sons are still around (ADWD Dany IX).

Dany still decides to use the Brazen Beasts as her guards because she thinks she should trust them before everyone else does.

Daario Naharis

Daario is in favor of Dany gathering all the masters in the Temple of the Graces under the false pretense of marrying Hizdahr and killing them all (ADWD Dany IV).

Dany is horrified by Daario's suggestion and, after he challenges her, sends him away.

Reznak mo Reznak

Reznak is against any sort of punishment to the nobles for the Sons's murders (ADWD Dany I, II).

In the first chapter, Dany follows his advice, but not because she is pro-nobility, but rather because she doesn't want to punish people indiscriminately.

In the second chapter, Dany doesn't follow his advice.

The Shavepate

The Shavepate recommends the killing of a man from each family for Stalwart Shield's death and the killing of two if another death occurs (ADWD Dany I).

Dany decides not to follow his advice because she is avoiding to punish people indiscriminately.

He also suggests torturing the daughters of the wineseller while he watches (ADWD Dany II).

Dany follows his advice.

Later, he urges Dany to kill the child hostages to prevent the murders from continuing (ADWD Dany IV).

Dany doesn't follow his advice because she doesn't want more innocent children like Hazzea dying.

At last, he proposes torturing Hizdahr (because he believes he's involved with the Harpy's Sons) and seizing people from the ruling families so that Dany can get her ships back (ADWD Dany V).

Dany doesn't follow his advice because his previous tortures didn't bring any trustworthy results.

Verdict

Dany takes responsibility for Stalwart Shield's death by a) waking up at night, b) ordering that he's properly buried and honored, c) offering more gold to anyone who might give clues about the murderers and d) forbiding her soldiers to walk at night. All of these decisions are made on her own.

Dany increases the offer of gold for information concerning the Harpy's Sons from one hundred to one thousand honors. This decision is made on her own.

Dany allows the torture of the wineseller's daughters by the Shavepate after his manipulation.

Dany a) orders Grey Worm to release the Unsullied from their duties at night, b) creates the Brazen Beasts (and a blood tax to pay them), c) forbids the nobles from leaving the city with their gold and stores of food and d) takes two hostages from each pyramid. All of these decisions are made on her own.

Dany organizes the freedmen into three companies (Mother's Men, Stalwart Shields, Free Brothers). This decision is made on her own.

Dany promises to marry Hizdahr if he's able to give her ninety days with no murders in the city. This decision is made on her own.

#daenerys targaryen #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls #dany and her choices #skahaz mo kandaq #reznak mo reznak #a dance with dragons

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fanfic-corner · 4 years

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Dystopia Fics

I am a sucker for the end of the world. One of the first Destiel fics I ever read was set in the apocalypse, so thanks for hooking me, I guess! Anyway, here are some fics set during the end of days.

Stand By Me by whelvenwings on AO3. (31, 252 words).

Tags: Zombie Apocalypse AU, Post-Apocalypse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Slow Dancing, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, First Kiss, Canon-Typical Violence, Touch-Starved Dean, Love Confessions.

My Rating: 5 stars

Description: Dean Winchester has been alone for a long, long time.When he and Castiel happen to find each other - a couple of survivors in a world that’s been all but wiped clean - Dean’s looking for his brother; Castiel is looking for something to look for. They stick together, because neither of them much wants to be alone. They hate each other at first, of course. Dean hates Castiel for being weird and quiet and ironic and antagonistic and proud. Castiel hates Dean for being blunt and reckless and coarse, for drinking, for refusing to talk about how he feels and just pretending everything is fine. Most of all, they hate themselves and each other just for being alive. What right do they have to be alive? No one else seems to be.But against his own will, Dean starts to notice things about Castiel that he likes. Starts to hope that Castiel might like him, too. And together, they start to fight for a world where they're both alive - and that's a good thing.

Notes: I think this was the second Destiel fic I ever read, and I must have reread it at least twice. The ending was slightly unsatisfying, but otherwise I loved it.

Say Yes by MaggieMaybe160 on AO3. (7,996 words).

Tags: Episode: s05e04 The End, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Cheating, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Canon Compliant, Nearly Human Castiel, Dreams vs Reality, POV Alternating, Love Triangles, Idiots in Love, Marriage Proposal, Chronic Pain.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Endverse!Dean's life is going pretty well with Endverse!Cas until Dean's past self shows up.A look at the episode "The End" from Season 5 from Endverse!Dean's point of view.

Notes: I’m counting the Endverse as the apocalypse here, because technically it is, right? Anyway, it was a great episode, this is a great fic, and believe me when I say the ending gave me chills.

4545 by anyrei and mugglerock on AO3. (120,335 words).

Tags: Dystopia, Post-Apocalypse AU, Eventual Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Innocent Sam, Innocent Dean, Innocent Castiel, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, First Kiss, Minor Character Death, Past Tortutre, PTSD, Sam Winchester is in Love.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Albert Einstein predicted that, while he didn’t know with what weapons World War III would be fought, World War IV would be fought with sticks and stones. He wasn’t far off.Humanity is surviving in a world without daylight, in a society where emotions are a luxury no one is allowed to have. But how important is surviving when you have nothing to live for? Two hunters find the answer to that question when they stumble over a miracle in the shape of a strange, blue-eyed man in a beige coat bearing… chocolate? Whatever that is.

Notes: This fic has such an interesting universe which is so well crafted and explored that it probably would have been one of my favourite fics, if it wasn’t for some of the most awkward explanations of sex and actual sex I have ever read in my life. Not sure if it is just because I’m ace, but I might need some mind bleach for some of that.

Road to Redemption by adestielable on AO3. (34,450 words).

Tags: Semi-graphic descriptions of violence, Semi-explicit sex, mutants, Utopia inside a Dystopia, Happy Ending, Character Death.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester was taken by Knights, bounty hunters, when he was fifteen, and is the only person to escape Heaven. When a new rebellion rises and tries to recruit him, he wants to do anything in his power to decline. He made a promise to his father to protect his family, and letting them join a rebellion isn't protecting them.The leader of the rebellion makes it hard to keep his carefully and painfully crafted walls up, though. And Dean soon finds himself falling.

Notes: The author should definitely have more confidence in their work - it was quite good! They created a really interesting world, and even though I’ve read way more Destiel fics set in the apocalypse than I probably should, it still managed to surprise me, and I really enjoyed it. The only reason I gave it 3 stars was because I wish it was slightly longer, as the ending felt a bit rushed.

The Elysium High by EllenOfOz on AO3. (44,768 words).

Tags: Post-Apocalypse AU, Los Angeles, Dystopia AU, Angels are Dicks, Addict Sam Winchester, Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use, Witch Sam Winchester, Detective AU, Confused Castiel, Drugged Sex, Slow Burn, Cyborg Castiel, Nanotechnology.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: In the not-too-distant future, climate change has wreaked havoc on the city of Los Angeles. When sea levels rose, and the Los Angeles Basin began to flood regularly like many coastal areas around the world, the population of the city moved up, off the ground and into the scrapers.Many years later, the city is divided into three rough zones: the Topzone, where the very wealthy live in the sunlight; the Midzone, where those of the less-well-off population live amid the flying traffic, the smog and their coffee addictions; and the Groundzone, what's left at close to ground level—dim, grimy and occasionally very wet.Sam and Dean Winchester are drug investigators in the LAPD. During a bust, Dean is saved by Castiel, one of the mysterious Angels, the elite fighting unit of the LA City Council. When Castiel insists on taking Dean to Paradise because he says they have work for him, Dean has little choice but to go along.But when a new drug, “Elysium”, hits the scene, people all over the city start dying. The brothers and Castiel must work out where the drug is coming from and stop its spread before it's too late.

Notes: This fic reminds me of another I read which was basically the exact same but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called. There wasn’t anything particularly wrong with it; personally I don’t ship Sam and Ruby (Jared and Gen are cute though) but I did enjoy the season 4 vibes.

Anyway, enjoy these fics (or don’t I guess) and if you have any fic recs of your own, please tell me!

#Destiel #sabriel #ficrecs #apocalypse #dystopia #supernatural

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voidselfshipp · 3 years

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A Heart Of Ashes

Chapter 2

Pt1.

Its around half past eight, jerico wondered if stoker was still in the laboratory.

So she put on her boots and Walked to said laboratory.

Though.. the place was huge, it felt like a maze,and listening to her gut feeling,she got there,after a good fifteen minutes.

--Hey stoker

The british Man stopped mixing two chemicals togheter, and Turned to the door, a smile crossed his lips under his mask,but you could hear it in his tone as he said--Ah...you again...how delightfull, Oh do be careful of the napalm...tricky stuff

--Ill be mindful of that--she Walked right past the unarmed molotov grenades--Watcha working on?

--Just some upgrades for these old girls, oh Grab a pair of goggles and some rubber gloves if you stick around, wouldnt want to cause any accidents

Jeri nodded and snatched the closest of those ítems, she casually hovered over stokers shoulder who finished mixing the two chemicals,only for them to explode into a dark cloud of nothingness.

--Ah horse raddish...

By the way he left both mixing tubes on the table she noticed her companion was frustrated.

She patted his back softly--How about we get something to eat, maybe you need to take some fresh air

Stoker stood there to think about it for a bit, then nodded --Yeah...thatd be wonderfull

--Great,lets go!

During their walk however, Someone stopped them.

--Hey! So youre the New guy huh?

The british Man sighed in annoyance,crossing his arms--Oh do bugger off phantom, we have places to go

--ey ey relax Man, I just want to take a moment to greet our New recruit--phantom Turned to jerico-- heard you were dangerous huh? I like that in a woman

Suddenly, Harold felt his blood boil, as jeri couldnt help but giggle at the cheesy pickup lines.

In a stupid fit of jealousy,he grabbed his lighter and pressed the flame against phantoms pants, who in a matter of seconds lit afire, he then with a mischevious smile Turned to jerico-- tell me....can you smell something Burning...? Oh its probably nothing,lets go dear, im starving

He put an arm around jeri and Walked her away as phantom ran around in circles, blissfully unaware of this sunstorm just shrugged it off.

--Did you just really burnt phantoms pants so he would stop talking to jerico?-- ember asked, arms crossed as both grabbed their food.

--well he was making her unconfortable!

--Dont make excuses for yourself Harold I know you

The Man sighed letting his shoulders fall--okay maybe I have a crush on her what about it....

Ember started to laugh--Thats adorable Harold, I wish you the best of luck --She patted his back.

During dinner Ember politely excused herself,leaving both veterans to talk.

--So--stoker started without a clear topic to talk about--Youre a veteran?

-- I am,Ive seen a lot of fucked up shit I tell you that

He chuckled and nodded in agreement--war, how do the kids put it ,ah yes, fucking sucks

--It really does,you loose Friends, people youre closed...and you never know

--If youll end up coming home to them--both meet eachothers gaze--i know the feeling quite well...

Both smile, and talk softly about their time in the military.

Stoker decided to pack up his little science proyect and walk around the bases courtyard with jerico, the moon shine brightly, and both strolled down calmly.

--I remember this one time, me and my Dad were leaders of two different squadrons,you had to see the soldiers faces when they realize their commander was my dad....it was hilarious,specially because we look nothing alike

--Hmm, May I inquire as to why?

--Dad adopted me when I was a kid, and we really look nothing alike,and well, when training, my old Man is very harsh and strict, I tend to be that one godsend seargeant who cuts some slack on the soldiers, its quite funny really

The brit laughed and nodded--yes it is

--And how about you?, whats your story ?

He took a deep breath,and put his hands behind his neck--Well,I used to be a squadron I had to make a rough decision,and I did it,thankfully nobody had to die that day,except For the bad guys of course

And they spend the night talking about their anecdotes,laughing, and comforting eachother.

--mind if I Scort you to your room?

--Not at all

Stoker giggled and put an arm around jerico,And both Walked into the building in silence, the whole place was quiet, aside from some who spent the night playing videogames and their rage screams could be heard from outside their room

When they arrived though,jeri took Harolds hand--Dont you want to spend the night here?,your room is on the other side of the building

--Oh I dont want to bother

--You dont,come on in

He sighed and nodded, taking off his jacket.

--I have a spare matress under my bed,i can sleep there

--What?,no way, I shoundt Rob You the comforts of your bed...

--Harold just take it

--Ill take the spare matress thats what ill take

Both stared at eachother,before sighing--Sharing?

--Sharing

Without much time wasted they got into the bed,their backs facing eachother.

--You wont take that mask off for sleeping?

--No, I wont

She sighed --You cant sleep like that

--Yes I can

She knew it wasnt her place to Keep demanding--Will you sleep comfortably?

A soft smile appeared on the Mans face--Yes, dont worry about me,now go get some sleep okay?

--You too.....goodnight

--Sweet dreams...

Ember groaned,facepalming.

This needed to stop.

--Oh you look so lovely today--stoker said softly elbowing jerico in the ribs, who then chuckled.

--And you look quite handsome too

Theyve been flirting like this for the entire day, ember was about to knock them both out....she couldnt take more of this mushy crap.

--oh I thought for a moment I found to emeralds....turns out it was just your eyes...--Harold said with his masks cheek resting on his hand.

Jericos cheeks turn baby Pink and both softly chuckle.

--If you two lovebirds are done, the guys at the kitchen need help on the cooler--vera said--its not working....

Both sighed and nodded.

However as both worked on the inside of the industrial Cooler, the door closed leaving them in pure darkness, aside from Jers phone lantern.

--Damnit...--stoker tried to Open the door to no avail...

And so they sat there in darkness.

-- d damn-- Harold said curling into a ball-- its cold here...

Jer, who was a natural heater, sat closer to him--I think I have an idea,but I need you to sit properly

--W what are y you planning to do?--He straightened his legs and his cheeks Turned red as he felt her sit on his lap and hug him-

-Like this we wont loose heat...

She was, oddly warm...how?.

Whatever questions he had, his survival was first so he hugged her, and hugged her tightly, feeling the warmth return to his body.

--Thats a whole lot better...thanks awfully..

--Dont mention it...

And after that day, they couldnt get enough of it ,everywhere was a good place to cuddle, while eating, after training,during briefings.

Everyone was losing their minds over how clingy both were.

Their feelings for eachother were so painfuly obvious...

And now, after a particular rough mission, jerico and stoker were cuddling in his room.

He pressed his mask against her back.

--Im just glad youre okay...--she whispers.

--Im just glad to be with you here--he answers back.

Though she was too tired to even try and comprehend what he said, so she nuzzled closer and smiled..

Soon enough she'll tell him.

She was glad to be by his side, and being able to hold him like that..and Him..well, he was happy to return to her in one piece.

#🧡🔥napal and spark🔥🧡#f/o fic #self insert #self ship #my f/os #self shipping #f/o x s/i #romantic f/o #f/o #f/o community

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jessgartner · 3 years

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2020 Life Olympics

The real Olympics may have been canceled in 2020 but the Life Olympics persevered like the postal service of Olympics.

First, I’d like to apologize for my role in the chaos of 2020 because I think I had a slight miscommunication with the powers that be and I feel partly responsible. Here was my plan for 2020:

My theme for 2020 is Intention because I want to take the energy I feel right now and deploy it with more intentionality next year - bringing increased mindfulness to how I spend my time, money, physical and mental energy. And because I love wordplay, I also literally want to spend more time camping “in-tent” to enjoy more peace and quiet and beauty in nature.

The universe was like, “Oh, she wants to spend less money and more time outside? Well, shut it down. Shut the whole planet down.”

I mean, mission accomplished, I guess? I did spend less money and more time outside and had to be VERY intentional with my mental energy to survive the day-to-day morass of 2020. Next time, I will be more specific with my annual manifestations. Sorry to all.

2020 was brutal for pretty much everything and everyone. I don’t know anyone who isn’t in some state of grief right now, including myself. I debated doing a Life Olympics at all this year, feeling like-- what is the point? Hundreds of thousands of people died, our democracy is hanging on by a thread, and millions of people lost jobs, businesses, and homes.

Like many people, I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression this year which intensified as it got darker and colder outside. At a low point, I talked with my therapist about the struggle of just not wanting to do any of the things that usually bring me joy-- and how periods of relief were so fleeting. “But you have to keep doing those things,” she said, “even if they’re not working right now, you have to keep doing those things and trust the process; the joy will return.”

So even though I don’t really feel like it and kind of feel like it’s dumb, I’m writing the 2020 Life Olympics. I’m trusting the process.

2020 Life Olympics Recap

Work - Participation Trophy

Starting a company is hard, operating a company is harder, but running a company during a global pandemic and economic crisis is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. 2020 was not a fun year to lead a business; it was hell. On March 15, the plan for the year pretty much went out the window and everything went into survival mode. I never take the company or my team for granted, but I’m particularly grateful to be able to usher this work into 2021.

Despite the craziness, we still had some big wins this year. We launched new product partnerships with PowerSchool and Amazon Business. We rebuilt our tool for equitably calculating district funding formulas. And I got to flex my creative muscles with EdFinToks! Throughout it all, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by a team of people who are as compassionate as they are talented.

I’m worried about public education more than ever after this year, but I’m going to keep fighting every day to make it work better for kids.

This is Work-Lite but I also spent a good chunk of time this year leading the modernization workgroup for Bill Henry’s transition committee after his spring primary election to become the new Baltimore City Comptroller, ousting a 25-year incumbent, Joan Pratt. This was an enlightening (and infuriating) experience for me that gave me a glimpse into the operations of a segment of the City government. This process also really helped crystallize how much I enjoy making public agencies function more efficiently; I’m excited to see what Bill does with the recommendations (some are already being put in action!)

Health - Gold

This is the second year in a row (and ever) that I’m giving myself a Gold medal for Health. This was easily a year that I could have regressed on all of my healthy habits and no one would have blamed me. Instead, I leaned into protecting and improving my physical and mental health in 2020. It’s not an exaggeration to say that walking probably saved my life this year. I spent a lot of time walking around my neighborhood and various state and city parks-- walking is maybe not the best word; I stomp and charge around like I have a score to settle with the ground beneath me. My walking increased 370% in 2020. This is a habit of 2020 that I’d like to keep. My brain and body are happier if I can spend a little time walking-- stomping-- around outside each day.

I also did a lot of biking this summer. My cycling increased 200% this year-- with much more time spent cycling outdoors. My crowning achievement this year was biking to and from Annapolis:

I spent a LOT more time outside this year which was critical for my mental health. On the downside, I only did 90% as much yoga and 60% as much strength training, so I want to try to be a little more balanced next year.

I also invested a lot in my mental health this year. I kept up with therapy every 2-4 weeks and in October I decided to pursue a formal diagnosis for ADHD which I definitely have! Needless to say, staying in one place this year has been a special kind of hell for me.

Home - Silver

Well, I definitely spent less money this year. And the way I did spend money made me (mostly) sad:

Travel down 70%

Auto & Transportation up 200% (boo cars)

Shopping down 60%

Personal Care down 35%

Gifts and donations up 200%

Food and Dining down 40%

Entertainment down 35% (I kept up my singing lessons virtually which accounts for a lot of this category)

2020 was quite the palate cleanser from my 2019 year of hedonism but maybe we can go for a happy medium in 2021? Just kidding-- I will resume my hedonist ways the minute the world opens.

I also redid my home office like every other work-from-homer on the planet and replaced my crumbling kitchen floor so the house got some TLC.

But nobody enjoyed having me home all year as much as Darwin:

Relationships - Bronze

What a weird year for relationships of all kinds. I’m giving this a Bronze because while I invested a lot into a few relationships this year, there are also a lot of people in my life to whom I haven’t been able to give my time and love.

One of the most important relationships in my life this year was with one of my former students. After bouncing around in the foster system for many years, we reconnected around the holidays in 2019 and he started crashing with me while we tried to figure out stable housing and employment. He was arrested in January and was incarcerated for the next several months awaiting trial. Finally, we were able to negotiate a plea agreement with the State’s Attorney and he came home around Independence Day. We spent the next several months getting him set up with a phone and various identification documents-- a nightmare in normal times and a total abyss during the pandemic. I got him registered to vote when we got his ID card and I took him to vote for the first time (a supreme treat for this former social studies teacher):

He’s now got a full-time job and stable living situation. Calling this THE success of 2020. Thank you to everyone who helped me with resources all year for housing, legal processes, and documents. It takes a village.

It was a bizarre year for family. We lost my grandmother in September, so not being able to spend the holidays together felt like an especially cruel loss. Other big losses this year include a trip to France to celebrate a milestone birthday for my mother and my brother and sister-in-law’s wedding (Mosby seemed pretty ok with the alternative plan, though):

But in many ways, my family has been more together than ever this year thanks to prolific group chats and photo-sharing. Mostly, I’m just glad everyone else is safe and healthy. As my father often reminds me, “Our problems are small.”

And dating? What to do with this weird Jane-Austen-esque dating scene-- as if modern dating weren’t fraught enough. Is this the universe punishing me for ending my 2019 dating hiatus early? I, for one, have given up. You win this one, pandemic. I’m just going to have my little Twitter crush and call it a year. Next year, though...

Horizons - Silver Gold

You know what? It’s hard to expand your horizons without people or places.

I did the best I could. I finally got back on track with my Goodreads challenge and actually had a really good year of reading, including finally embracing audiobooks through my Libro.fm subscriptions. I especially enjoyed Michelle Obama’s book Becoming and Mike Birbiglia’s The New One on audio-- both narrated by their authors.

I camped in Pocomoke (MD), Western MD, Lake Michigan, and Ohiopyle (PA):

I explored over 30 new hiking/biking trails-- some favorites including the Youghiegheny River trail in PA, the NCR trail, Catoctin Mountain, the C&O Canal Towpath, Annapolis Rock, and of course, Stoney Run in my backyard.

I left Facebook and started the Life Olympics newsletter. I’ll be honest, I don’t miss Facebook but I also don’t understand where that energy, time, and brain space went. I was spending cumulatively hours a day mindlessly scrolling Facebook and I quit cold turkey and barely noticed-- what black hole of our brains does social media occupy? I kind of thought that with all that extra time I would write the next great American novel or something. I’m probably spending a little more time on Twitter, which I could stand to cut back on. Other than that, I think I was just trying to process the shitstorm of this year. Maybe I’ll write the next great American novel post-pandemic.

For the first time in my life, I feel somewhat ‘caught up’ on pop-culture. I finally watched Parks and Recreation (twice); I watched The Mandalorian and finally actually watched Star Wars (episodes IV-IX); I watched the final seasons of The Good Place and Schitt’s Creek; I’m caught up on Insecure; I watched The Prom and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom and Jingle Jangle; I even started Bridgerton. I know what everyone is talking about and I’m catching so many more pop-culture references these days. (I guess instead of writing the next great American novel I watched Netflix?)

2020 Lessons

I’ve spent plenty of time mourning the missed opportunities of 2020 and will probably always wonder what this year could have been in an alternate universe with a functioning government. But we only have this reality for now, and we made the best of it.

I wanted to slow down in 2020, try to be more intentional, more mindful, and...

No thank you! I liked the pace of my life; it makes my brain and heart happy. I’m happiest when I wake up in a different city three days in a row. I like darting around every borough of Manhattan for nine meetings and three cocktails and then taking a red-eye to Europe. I want to run around to eight conferences for 18-hours a day for three weeks and then sleep for 22 hours. I miss overloading my brain so much that I need a deprivation chamber to sleep. This is who I am. This is how I like to live. And when I was locked down alone in the house for a year, slowing down, being mindful, I never once thought, “I should have... when I had the chance.” Because I always did. And I always will.

2021

We shake with joy, we shake with grief.

What a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.

Mary Oliver

We’ve had enough grief. 2021 is going to be all about joy.

Universe, let me be clear: this is not a euphemism or code or secret signal.

I want pure, unadulterated, abundant, joy. I want multi-course dinners in restaurants with lots of close friends and good wine. I want the virus so far gone that I can make-out with handsome strangers. I want a rollicking good time in France and/or Brazil and/or Prague and/or New Zealand and/or Bali. I want to spend the day after Christmas in NYC with my father. I want to be a glutton for theatre and art and music. I want celebrations and parties and sequins.

I want to shake with joy.

If you’d like to receive the (shorter) monthly Life Olympics, subscribe here.

#lifeolympics

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ailinaline · 3 years

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The Untamed: unsorted

Well... I am nothing, if not eccentric, after all. Why not publish a huge post all of a sudden? :)

The Untamed (СQL) is an abyss, and I am still falling, grasping at some scattered thoughts... that tend to arrange themselves in equally chaotic blocks of thoughts, which, in turn, multiply questions successfully.

Spoilers ahead, I guess...

The timeline of СQL is more than a little blurry, and when I try to calculate, how old Wei Ying was, when he died, I come up with the sorrowful conclusion he couldn’t be more that 21, probably younger. Which, in turn, means that the post-time-skip Sizhui is, actually, of the same age or even older than Wei Ying and Lan Wangji were, when they did a lot of things I honestly can’t imagine the new generation pulling off, even physically/magically, let alone psychologically (although I wouldn’t go as far as to call young LWJ and WWX mature - they clearly were not, and that was a huge part of the tragedy foundation, in my opinion). The young disciples are referred to as ‘children’, and they truly are. Compared to 16-17 year old LWJ and WWX, they are very, very young, inexperienced and not especially capable – while still being quite skilled and smart. And it’s both fabulous and painful to watch. Fabulous because it’s a very vivid and authentic demonstration of how exceptionally gifted LWJ and WWX are (and were); and painful because, unfortunately, not all of their greatness comes just from inborn talents.

II.

I am easily charmed by languages, but СQL, being the third Chinese dorama I have ever watched, is still the first one to so profusely tempt me to learn Chinese – in order to translate the songs and to understand the subtleties of the dialogues.

III.

I can’t get rid of the impression that the concept of rules/order breaking and punishment/atonement is fundamental for СQL (and its world). As far as I am aware, the Chinese culture does tend to be quite severe in this regard, but right now I am considering the symbolic layer of the process rather than the harm/good/efficiency of any particular method. And I wonder, whether I am imagining things or Wangji’s history of ‘transgressions’ and punishments within his sect is really openly symbolic and not merely coincidental.

My interpretation certainly lacks some special cultural insight because I can’t help being of European origin, so I read all the codes as a European would, first, and only then make an attempt to switch lenses and decipher the message, taking into account my scarce knowledge of the Chinese (and Asian) culture.

And yet...

The first time (drinking) Wangji is not only completely innocent, but also a ‘victim’ of Wei Ying’s careless (and questionable) mischief. They share the punishment (and we encounter the number 300, by the way), but Wangji is obviously (and rather fiercely) on his own here, and evidently by choice, despite Wei Ying’s sincere efforts first to exclude and then to include him. Wangji, just as obviously, truly believes he deserves the punishment – not for drinking as such, I think, but for lowering his guard and being not attentive enough: internally, he substitutes one transgression with another, and the equation works for him (actually, it might be unfair, but quite fortunate for their future relationship that Wangji blames himself or, at least, blames himself more than Wei Ying). To put it in a nutshell, for Wangji, the system and order are intact and non-contradictory: he is understandably upset, even angry, but hardly shaken, and simply intends to do better than that in the future, so to say. It’s hard to speculate, if this is Wangji’s most unpleasant experience so far or not, but in any case, the psychological pressure is minimal and reproach is rather mild (and I am really surprised, Lan Xichen didn’t find all that story highly suspicious… or was it his indirect method of showing WWX that he hadn’t been told on?..)

The copying of the rules happens after a considerable amount of… experience, if not time. And the transgression is not specified, but hinted at very heavily. I also wonder, if Lan Qiren realized an additional message he conveyed through his choice as well as through his general treatment of his nephew during that meeting: a strict reminder that, a war hero or not, LWJ is still too young to have an opinion. Wangji accepts the book of rules reverently, accepts the punishment… the word, that springs to mind is ‘habitually’: he doesn’t disregard it, per se, he doesn’t devalue the fact his uncle is not happy with him, he still wants to do better, but… there are things of greater importance to him now, and LWJ is so focused on them that he makes the request about the restricted books at the least suitable moment, really. (And I believe this dismissal does cut him rather deep.) The system still works, but the seed of the conflict is already planted.

The third episode seems pivotal in itself: we actually don’t know, what the punishment for letting WWX and the Wens go was, except for having to kneel, while being lectured, but this time this is a result of a conscious choice to do something that definitely wouldn’t be approved. And I can’t remember a single second of the screen-time, when Wangji would look repentant: conflicted, upset, slapped (when Lan Qiren mentions his mother), stressed (his uncle uses some pretty cruel techniques that border on manipulation, to my mind), but not sorry at all – not for letting the fugitives go, at least. And comparing the shades of Wangji’s silence here and on the previous occasion, this one seems somehow more determined. And closed-off. And there is no intention to do better, in regard to this transgression: the alternative he is being pushed to is unacceptable.

Kneeling again, for the whole day, in the cold, lifting a… what is it, as a matter of fact? It does look like a slightly smaller version of ‘the discipline whip’ we’ll see later, and if it is really so, then it’s beyond prophetic symbolic – it looks more like a promise on Lan Qiren’s part. :/ Anyway, my impression is that, for the first time in the series, LWJ is actively absent from the scene of his own punishment: he doesn’t reflect on it (I think he expected something like that), he also doesn’t mentally substitute one transgression with another to restore the balance (his inability to help Wei Ying is not something to atone for by kneeling). He simply endures. And thinks. And feels. Just not what he is expected and obliged to be thinking and feeling at the moment. And through all of this, Wangji is utterly, hopelessly and stoically alone and unaccepted. His concerns have been dismissed and care rejected by Wei Ying. His actions and decisions have been castigated by a significant authority figure (whom he loves and respects). If I am not mistaken, in the special edition Wangji’s loss-and-loneliness are somewhat artificially heightened through the pseudo-contrast because his moments are mixed with the moments of Wei Ying’s drinking with his new family, who values and appreciates him. (In reality their situations are just the same: they are both in anguish and feel helpless to change things they wish to change.) And, a cherry on top: we don’t know, what has been said initially, and by whom, however, we see that Wangji is released not by his uncle, but by some adept (or disciple). It might be a normal procedure, but it completes the picture of being unequivocally separated from any supportive figure and hints at a lack of closure, in a way, as there was no forgivenes-and-reconnection after the punishment.

I am struggling to verbalize, why exactly, but to me, this scene is, in a sense, more bitter than the next one, despite the circumstances.

During the next punishment Wangji is as actively present as he was absent during the previous one. And if then he was frozen in sadness, now he is all fire (fueled by grief, and guilt, and fury, and despair, yes, but fire, nonetheless). And the system and order get burned down: what Wangji re-builds during his seclusion is his very own set of rules. They do coincide with the Gusu Lan set, but not fully. And this is a point of no return because, filtered through Wangji’s own system of values, now they are more than just the elders’ lessons learned and tested – they are the only valid reference point for recognizing transgressions and ‘living with no regrets’.

(On another level, I am more than a little puzzled by several details here:

1) linguistics: do they really call this thing a discipline ‘whip’ in Chinese?

2) cultural message: as literally nothing could get in the way of filming a beating with an actual whip, the type of instrument has to make some sense, doesn’t it? (For now, I can’t think of any reason to choose this tool, though. Except the number 300 as 300 lashes are hardly survivable, even with a golden core.)

3) application: I can understand, why Wangji has his shirt on (although this is a more dangerous and torturous option: such a thin layer is no protection at all, but it will be hell to clean the wounds afterwards), but why is his hair down his back like that?..

4) consequences: the scarring looks rather odd, considering. (And again: it was definitely not a problem to paint whatever they had to, so – why?)

The only (and vague) explanation I can come up with is that the type and form of the tool is not important at all: it’s the intent and sentence that count, so the wounds and pain would be the same, even if the instrument looked like a rod or a cane. (Still doesn’t explain the hair, though.) And as for the scars, perhaps, not all of them have to stay forever, especially if the cultivator is very strong.

Well, no: unsatisfactory...)

IV.

I wonder... My first impression after watching the scene, where Lan Wangji cuts off Jin Guangyao’s arm, was that he was actually saving him from Baxia, separating Guangyao from the mark on his hand. And the only reason, why the spirit of the sword attacks Jin Ling next, are the drops of the bad/damned blood on the boy’s shoulder. But after the special edition I am not so sure.

Lacunae and plotholes (or what I subjectively perceive as such) are extremely challenging and thought-provoking in this series. Right now, I wonder about the Wens: Wen Qing clearly stated she had asked one of the clansmen to look after WWX, so not all of them were going to surrender. Could it be that they were attacked at the Burial Mounds, when seeing the siblings off, and taken away by force?

...Enough. For now.

#the untamed #lan wangji #wei wuxian #suddenly #questions and more questions #just thinking

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tired-luxis · 5 years

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Tomarrymort: Why it’s Such a Promising Ship

I absolutely adore Tomarrymort. It’s one of my all-time favorite ships, and I find myself coming back to it time and time again. Of course, it might take a bit of work to convince the quintessential skeptic about this pairing, so here are some reasons why Tomarrymort is a gold mine of content.

I. The parallels

J.K. Rowling painstakingly draws numerous similarities between Harry and Tom’s upbringing. For instance:

A. Childhoods

Although not explicitly stated by Rowling, Harry definitely grew up in an abusive home (starvation, overwork, belittlement, so on). Tom Riddle also spent his childhood in a bad environment, as he was born in 1926 at the height of global turmoil and England-specific class upheavals. As an orphan at an unforgiving home, he likely experienced harsh treatment for reasons even aside from his fear-inspiring magical abilities.

B. Unfit, Hostile Guardians

The Dursleys did everything they could to quash any freakishness in Harry. They systematically diminished his self-worth and sought to stifle his magical abilities in every way. Similarly, Wool’s Orphanage also treated Tom as an “other”. While Tom was by no means a saint, the Matron and his peers made no secret of their unease and borderline dislike for him, which likely only alienated Riddle further.

C. Marked by Dumbledore from a young age

Since the prophecy’s creation, Dumbledore singled out Harry as a tool to win the war. Dumbledore may have cared for him and genuinely regretted the self-sacrificing role he would have to play, but regardless, he still passively and actively ensured Harry would be put in too many life-or-death situations that no child should’ve experienced. And while Dumbledore preemptively christened Harry a savior, he contrastingly damned Tom at the very start. Within mere moments of meeting Tom, he was convinced that this young boy was someone to be feared. Mind you, I’m not a Tom Riddle apologist; I fully recognize that he was a very dark villain as an adult and his actions could not be primarily attributed to the rejection he faced from adult figures. However, the way that they were both pseudo-predestined to play opposing roles is rather fascinating.

D. Why these similarities matter!!

On a surface level, children are objectively impressionable beings, and the way Tom and Harry were raised likely affected their behavior and character in interesting ways. Because they had similar influences upon their childhoods, it becomes even more intriguing to observe where their paths diverged and how they became such famous hero-villains. I’ll let Tom say it himself:

“There are strange likenesses between us, Harry Potter. Even you must have noticed. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles. Probably the only two Parselmouths to come to Hogwarts since the great Slytherin himself. We even look something alike.”

There’s something uniquely attractive about characters who could’ve been like one another, and yet ended up as completely different people. It’s like looking into a mirror and seeing a twisted reflections — rather incredible, isn’t it?

II. The magical ties

A. Horcruxes: Parseltongue, Occlumency, and more

This is probably the biggest addition to Tomarrymort’s intrigue. To start with, we have Harry’s Parseltongue abilities, which presented themselves early on in the first book and continued to appear in very memorable scenes throughout the series. While Parseltongue itself is a rather loaded concept rife with worldbuilding potential, its continued presence was a constant reminder of the soul relationship between Harry and Voldemort.

For, recall that Harry’s Parseltongue ability was a direct consequence of his soul relationship with Voldemort. He housed a piece of Voldemort’s soul for over a decade. This is astounding, given that there are several examples of other characters being affected by even a brief contact with Voldemort’s Horcruxes. The Diary possessed Ginny after just a school term, the Locket recreated Ron’s greatest fears after mere weeks of wear, and the shard in Nagini likely contributed to her complete obedience and lethality. That then begs the question — how could the piece in Harry have affected him? And if there was no effect, that just makes it all the more interesting with questions of why Harry alone was immune.

Bonus: ficwriters can play with the idea of soul magic or Horcrux-related worldbuilding. It’s wonderful seeing all these different interpretations of Horcrux events: restoring/rejoining pieces of Voldemort’s soul, establishing soul bonds, soul-based mind manipulation, and more.

B. The Prophecy

The actual prophecy has been re-interpreted by numerous fanfics in different ways. The last two lines are the most fanficable, in my opinion.

“And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...”

Consider the phrase, “mark him as his equal”. A mark in and of itself is an inherently possessive act of claiming, which ties back to Tomarrymort’s obsessive relationship. And, the pairing can be written with paradoxically imbalanced power dynamics despite their “equal” status.

“And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...”

Oh, would you look at that — predestined enemies, fatal tragedy, and more. It’s quite poetic, really. Imagine falling in love with your worst enemy in this scenario. For Voldemort, the prophecy ascertained Harry’s status as a threat to his greatest goal of immortality, which would make a romantic pairing between the two into a very emotionally charged concept. And for Harry, he would have already experienced pain for loving a creature defined by an inability to love, and this prophecy line would have been the final nail in the coffin.

III. Fanfiction application

A. Sheer variety

Tomarrymort fics span across a wild spectrum. You can scroll just a couple fics down and go from a soul-crushing tale of beautiful angst to a gentle coffeeshop AU. There’s something for everyone here!

B. Depth

The nature of the pairing usually requires a good deal of buildup or context, and it can be pretty intense or achingly soft. Regardless, you’re guaranteed to get quite the vividly emotional experience.

IV. Conclusion

Generally speaking, there are too many reasons in canon and in fanfiction application that make Tomarrymort amazing. The community itself is also so lovely, and I found some of my greatest friends here. Give the pairing a try if you’d like, and cheers to happy fandom experiences!

(If you’ve read this far, kudos to you! Check me out on ao3, where I write sometimes! Or yell at me on twitter.)

#tomarry #harrymort #tomarrymort #fanfic #rant #fanfiction #harry potter #tom riddle #i just really wanted to get this off my chest #tomarrymort is so underrated

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yr-hen-ogledd · 4 years

Note

Have you got any Iron Tusks lore lying around, or are they a completed project? I've been scrolling through the tag snapping up those gorgeous in-universe fluff snippets, and it's made me really curious about their backstory.

Ok so first of all thanks for saying a nice thing about my writing, which I have much less confidence in than I do in my painting. I’m super happy it grabbed your interest!

As for the Great Iron Tusks Fluff Bible… Well, for most of this evening I thought it’d been lost when I upgraded to my new(er) PC. But apparently I never delete anything ever and having done a bit of digging, well: here’s just about the entire history of the chapter, up to end of the 41st millenium & the creation of the Great Rift. Delve beneath the cut if you dare.

Caveats: I read the background for the Warhammer 40,000 universe back in, like, 1996? ‘97? I haven’t paid too much attention since. I much prefer to just make shit up. I dip in here & there but you may find bits in here that seem to contradict actual canon - roll with it, I guess? It’s a big universe governed by an unreliable megabureaucracy; there’s room for more than one version of the truth.

++REF::CS+IRON_TUSKS

ADT.ASTARTES.DES.IRON.TUSKS

>IRON TUSKS: Adeptus Astartes chapter. Founded 738.M41 using Ultramarines gene-seed on Khaskal IV, Ultima Segmentum. Supervising officer Capt. Jun Harkenas (ex-Silver Skulls), subordinate officers including Capt. Astor Valk (ex-Silver Skulls), Capt. Haral Gor (ex-Carcharodon Astra), Reclusiarch Bron Ovidor (ex-Doom Eagles), Sgt. Torias Telion (Ultramarines, secondment), assisted by advisory council led by Barad Valur Arendt & other tribal elders.

On advice of Capt. Gor and the elders of the laghun, attending hiero-scrivenor Gorganaeus grants permission to Captain Harkenas to alter original ministorum designation BLACK PALADINS to IRON TUSKS in recognition of indigenous ursid life-forms known locally as Roortagha. Harkenas also orders chapter livery changed to deep crimson to fit with native blood rituals and warrior traditions. The Adeptus Terra’s initial audit detects minor mutations of the oolitic kidney, Betcher’s gland & the mucranoid gland, producing a moderately toxic & caustic airborne suspension when the marines’ sweat evaporates. The mutation falls well within acceptable levels of deviation and the founding is consecrated. The chapter is officially armed on St. Burden’s Day, 744.M41, fighting strength 350 scouts, 250 marines, plus command staff and various supporting elements including 3 strike cruisers. Captain Harkenas is named First Marshall, Captain Valk is named 2nd Company Marshall ; Master of the Armoury, Captain Gor is named 3rd Company Marshall ; Master of Recruits ; Bron Ovidor becomes High Chaplain. Sgt. Telion returns to Macragge.

745.M41: Hive Fleet Behemoth descends upon Ultima Segmentum. The Great Devourer carves a bloody path through the Imperium’s suprised and confused defenders leaving only lifeless rocks in its wake. Bio-ships appear at system terminus without warning after listening posts on Brennan’s World and Valentina are overrun by hostile xenoforms. Massively outnumbered, First Marshall Harkenas orders Khaskal IV evacuated and the chapter’s gene-seed secured aboard the strike cruiser Silverback. Harkenas and Ovidor lead half the chapter’s evocatii in a forlorn delaying action. Behemoth is eventually stopped at enormous cost, but Khaskal is stripped of all life weeks beforehand. The surviving brothers make a final return to salvage what equipment & armour they can, but leave the system within a week of arrival.

The Iron Tusks, now fleet-based, appear to drift between campaigns for several years, intervening in battles at Verrae, St. Nazaire, Xavierus and Sacristan. At Xavierus, Major-General Valdestin of the 120th Cadian Expeditionary records the Iron Tusks deploying “4 companies in good order, though unorthodox in equipment.” At Sacristan, Captain Serrus of the Star Phantoms notes the Iron Tusks battlefleet joining their own with 5 ships of the line, “three of which had clearly been reclaimed from unsanctioned sources.” Both commanders describe their allies scavenging war materiel from their enemies and after Sacristan, in which the combined Astartes forces drive off a raiding force of Red Corsairs traitors, the Iron Tusks (apparently now under the command of Haral Gor) pursue the traitors into the Maelstrom “with relish.”

The following decades paint a confusing picture: in 786.M41 they appear in the journal of the Rogue Trader Jelena diVerre as masters of Loghain’s Cross, a feudal world to the galactic south of Baal. Certainly, a number of imperial records from this time period make mention of the Iron Tusks fighting numerous battles against the orks raiding out of the Galatian Belt and against eldar pirates on Barre. But by the time Waaagh! Gormug makes a ruin of several Imperial worlds in 802, the Iron Tusks have apparently moved on. While the Blood Angels defend Loghain’s Cross, the Iron Tusks are recorded fighting “at chapter strength” against the bloody, Alpha Legion-led rebellion on Vittkenstein

“Though all who know the space marines know the essential diversity bred by their independent formations, I declare I never encountered a body of fighting men of such strange attitudes as these - leastways not as allies. The Irontusks (sic) seem to view their vocation almost as a great sport. They count kills upon their armour, they swear a great deal, they make indecipherable guestures toward the enemy (many of which I suspect are lewd in character!). Throne preserve us, at one juncture I visited a defensive position to inspect the conditions and found one of them sat in the cupola of his tank, smoking a lho-stick of very ill flavour. And yet who can complain of their devotion to the Emperor’s cause? After every raid they return with fallen comrades over their shoulders, bloodied banners of the enemy and grotesque smiles across scarred faces. One of their officers asked me if the regiment had encountered foes such as these before and when I answered him in the affirmative he declared that his men would be following us home.”- Colonel Ferdinand Maxwell-Gray, Mordian 18th.

Certainly the Iron Tusks do seem to have moved erratically toward the Mordian system for a time, but their route is difficult to ascertain. The war on Vittkenstein lasts another 4 years, but after that various naval records refer to the Iron Tusks retiring to a number of different homeworlds: Ironhold, Merite, Kyushin II, Jara-na-vere-ko, Elva XI and as many as 8 other planets are recorded as the chapter’s home base. Furthermore, having reached Mordian they seem to have moved on shortly after in the direction of the Cadian Gate and the Eye of Terror. More informatively, we can say with certainty the date at which they did so. Having claimed the death world of Morsava sometime before 984.M41, they subsequently sell the planet in 999.M41 to the governor-militant of Mordian for the perfunctory sum of 1 Imperial Credit - three days after the onslaught of the 13th Black Crusade. At this time Battlefleet Obscurus naval records indicate a fleet of 7 strike cruisers, one battle barge (designated Tough Love) and numerous escorts, bulk haulers and sundry other ships leaving the Mordian subsector and bearing galactic south-west.

++RECORD ENDS++

++THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A CLOSED MIND IS WELL-DEFENDED

It would appear that the Iron Tusks have adopted a modus operandi by which they occupy any world which they are able to take from enemy forces, staying long enough to recover losses in men and materiel, before abandoning it in the event that better ‘sport’ presents itself elsewhere. It is a pattern which has seen battle companies attach themselves frequently to Imperial army groups unsolicited, apparently to involve themselves in more violence.They seem to act without any thought to wider Imperial strategy, or to collateral damage. Can their wilful disregard for authority be tolerated? More gravely, is their pursuit of violence for violence’s sake not a well-worn trail on the path to damnation? My Lord, I must recommend an immediate Inquisitorial audit be carried out on these rogues - lest rogues be left to turn altogether renegade.

I remain your humble and obedient servant,

There you have it. The rest of it gets written as & when models & projects inspire me to get typing. You’ve seen glimpses of the Tusks post-rift activities - stranded on the wrong side of the sky-scar, scavenging the debris of fallen worlds, occasionally finding gold dust on shattered hulks that float out of the few relatively stable shipping routes across the Cicatrix Maledictum, and sometimes adopting new friends of mysterious origin from the beleaguered worlds of the Imperium Nihilus. There will probably be more in the future! No project is ever really finished until you run out of ideas.

#daddyfantastic #iron tusks #space marines #warhammer 40000 #40K #I came this close to painting more Iron Tusks watching the first few episdoes of the Mandalorian #but events conspired against me and the moment passed

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Upcoming Movies in October 2020: Theaters, Streaming and VOD

https://ift.tt/3lducG3

October looks a lot different than it did only a few weeks ago. As the month many movie theater owners were hanging their hats on with the hope of a weekly deluge of new movies , October has recently been vacated by high profile features that include Wonder Woman 1984, Death on the Nile, and Candyman.

Yet if you’re a cinephile or movie lover who is desperate for new stories and visions, it is not all doom and gloom. Between the streaming market of Netflix, VOD, and other platforms, as well as some smaller films willing to roll the dice on a limited theatrical release, there are still more than a few things to see in October 2020…

2067

October 2 (U.S. Only)

A high-concept science fiction setup if we’ve ever heard one, 2067 is the story of Ethan Whyte (Kodi Smit-McPhee), a young man born in a dystopian future where he learns that he might be the savior of humanity… at least that’s what people from an even more distant future are saying. In a plot twist that sounds, at least on paper, akin to a reversal of The Terminator, messengers from the future say Ethan is the key to saving the world and wish to transport him via time machine to an unknowable destiny. Chaos ensues. It’s a big idea, but we’re always game for someone swinging big in this genre.

Death of Me

October 2 (November 23 in the UK)

Darren Lynn Boseman, director of Saw II through Saw IV, returns to the horror genre again alongside Nikita’s Maggie Q and Westworld’s Luke Hemsworth. In this VOD release, the pair play a vacationing couple who wake up on an island with a horrible hangover. Yet a video on their phones seems to suggest the night before was even worse: Neil (Hemsworth) spent the evening brutally murdering his wife, as per the screen in their pockets. Nevertheless, here they are now, left with a lot of questions of what happened yesterday… and what can happen today.

Black Box

October 6

The first of Amazon Prime and Blumhouse Productions’ “Welcome to the Blumhouse” series, Emmanuel Osei-Kuffour’s Black Box has a tantalizing premise. Nolan (Mamoudou Athie) survived a car accident that took his wife, but it also took large swaths of his memory of her. So in order to regain his memory, and regain a sense of stability for his young daughter, Nolan undergoes an experimental treatment where his psychologist uses hypnosis to thrust him into his subconscious where he’ll be able remember his past and face his personal demons. Literally.

Like something out of Christopher Nolan’s Inception, this horror movie shows how scary being trapped in dreams really is if all that’s in them is the stuff of nightmares…

The Lie

October 6

The second Amazon/Blumhouse feature is more of a psychological thriller than a straightforward horror movie. Originally premiering at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2018, The Lie follows a father (Peter Sarsgaard) who discovers his daughter Kayla (Joey King) accidentally killed her friend… until she admits she may have actually murdered her.

How far will he go to cover-up his daughter’s sins? Well, that’s the logline, and it seems to be a gripping one, albeit reviews from TIFF were less than kind two years ago.

Hubie Halloween

October 7

Last year Adam Sandler warned the Academy that if he doesn’t win an Oscar for Uncut Gems he’d make a film so bad that it’d make “you all pay.” Well, he wasn’t even nominated and eight months after the ceremony, here we are with Netflix’s Hubie Halloween. It remains to be seen whether this is actually the bad one—for starters it filmed before Oscar nominations went out—but it is still very much a Happy Madison production, complete with major supporting roles for Kevin James and Rob Schneider.

Movies

Uncut Gems: The Real Noir in Adam Sandler’s Classic

By David Crow

Movies

Horror Movies on HBO Max: Hammer Films, It Chapter 2, Us, to Arrive in October

By Don Kaye

In the movie, Sandler plays Hubie Dubois, the town loser of Salem, Massachusetts. A lonely fry cook obsessed with Halloween, Hubie spends all year looking forward to decking out his home and town the same way Clark Griswold anticipates Christmas. But on this particular Halloween, the town appears besieged by actual supernatural forces, and finally Hubie will have his time to shine. Eh, it looks more amusing than The Do-Over and The Ridiculous 6?

Books of Blood

October 7 (U.S. Only)

Who doesn’t love anthological horror? Hulu certainly does, as they’re releasing Books of Blood, the latest adaptation of Clive Barker’s multi-volume series of short stories by the same name. Previous tales from Books of Blood have been adapted into movies as beloved as Candyman and as decidedly not as Rawhide Rex. In this film version, three stories are created for the screen by co-writer and director Brannon Braga. Here’s hoping it lands closer to the former?

Saint Maud

October 9 (UK Only)

The UK will be the first to get A24’s only horror movie this year. Lucky. The feature directorial debut of Rose Glass, Saint Maud follows an unhealthily repressed and zealous young woman: Maud (Morfydd Clark). Maud is technically a caretaker by trade, looking after people in hospice. But she also imagines herself to be something of an apostle, sent to save godless folks from their sins, particularly Amanda (Jennifer Ehle), the woman she’s living with as the in-home nurse.

Movies

Best Modern Horror Movies

By Don Kaye

Movies

Best Horror Movies on Netflix: Scariest Films to Stream

By David Crow and 2 others

It’s already a tense situation, even before Maud starts hearing voices and having images of ecstasy and Heaven, and demons and Hell. Rich with atmosphere and grueling anticipation of something horrible happening, Saint Maud is a great debut for Glass and a potential star-maker for Clark, who is skin-crawlingly pious as Maud, the young woman who’s wound up tighter than a jack-in-the-box.

The Wolf of Snow Hollow

October 9 (U.S. Only)

Debuting in theaters and on VOD, The Wolf of Snow Hollow is Jim Cummings’ follow-up to Thunder Road. That earlier, underrated movie was a delightful mix of comedy and drama that won the SXSW Grand Jury Prize. So the sophomore effort being a werewolf comedy-horror movie is intriguing. Indeed, Wolf of Snow Hollow is the rare lycanthrope yarn that’s told from the point-of-view of the would-be wolf hunter, Sheriff John Marshall (Cummings).

Following a series of grisly murders every full moon, the residents of Snow Hollow become convinced they have a wolfman on their hands, even if the frustrated sheriff refuses to accept the obvious. The film also marks the final performance of Robert Forster as John’s crusty mentor.

The War with Grandpa

October 9 in the U.S. (October 16 in the UK)

For most people, having Robert De Niro as a grandfather can be an imposing experience. But kids these days! That’s at least one amusing takeaway from The War with Grandpa, the delayed family movie that sees De Niro’s grandfatherly Ed enter into a prank war with his grandson Peter (Oakes Fegley) after upsetting the youth by moving into his old bedroom—Peter’s mom and Ed’s daughter Sally (Uma Thurman) forced them into the arrangement.

Movies

The King of Comedy: What’s the Real Punchline of the Martin Scorsese Classic?

By Tony Sokol

Movies

Al Capone: 9 Actors Who Played the Original Scarface

By Tony Sokol

Soon shaving cream reveals itself to be foam sealant stuck to De Niro’s face, and Peter’s oral report announces he is a louse. Oh, and there’s a dodgeball battle in which De Niro is aided by a squad of screen legends like Christopher Walken, Cheech Marin, and Jane Seymour, to squash the pups. Now things are getting serious…

Nocturne

October 13

The first of Amazon and Blumhouse’s next batch of original movies, Nocturne is the tale of a hellish rivalry between sisters. Genuinely. The feature debut from director Zu Quirke stars Sydney Sweeney as Juliet, the younger sister of fellow musician Vivian (Madison Iseman). While both young women are gifted pianists, Vivian is a prodigy and the center of Juliet’s envy. That is until Juliet finds the diary of another child prodigy at their prestigious conservatory who killed herself. The book includes all the late pianist’s hidden compositions… and symbols and incantations.

Ever heard the story of Faust? It seems like Juliet is about to get an up-close modern example.

Evil Eye

October 13

As the final Blumhouse effort to be released on Amazon Prime in 2020, Evil Eye hails from directors Elan and Rajeev Dassani and presents itself as both a psychological thriller and supernatural chiller. The truth of which it really is depends on how much you believe the eye of Usha (Sarita Choudhury).

Movies

How Jason Blum Changed Horror Movies

By Rosie Fletcher

Movies

Jason Blum: No Plans To Restart Universal Monsters Universe

By Don Kaye

For this mother of Pallavi (GLOW’s Sunita Mani) is convinced her daughter is necking with a new boyfriend (Omar Maskati) who’s the spirit of an evil abusive ex Usha escaped in her youth. Is he the vestiges of a half-remembered curse or the potential victim of a mommy dearest prone to snap judgements? Tune in to find out for yourself…

The Trial of the Chicago 7

October 16

“The whole world is watching.” That’s the chanted refrain of protestors in Aaron Sorkin’s second movie as director, but it might also apply to the level of anticipation regarding this major Netflix release and potential awards season darling. The movie itself is an old-fashioned legal thriller like Sorkin cut his teeth on with scripts like A Few Good Men, but Chicago 7 feels urgently (and depressingly) vital.

Following on the heels of the Chicago riots during the Democratic National Convention of 1968—riots later deemed to have been started by the police—eight men categorized as “the far left” are rounded up for a show trial by Nixon’s Justice Department where they’re charged with conspiracy.

Movies

Aaron Sorkin: Donald Trump Made The Trial of the Chicago 7 Movie Possible

By David Crow

Movies

Quentin Tarantino Calls The Social Network the Best Movie of the 2010s

By David Crow

The film features the same blistering abundance of dialogue Sorkin has become famous for, as well as his penchant for breezy fast-paced editing. But the political heft of the subject matter and the movie’s deep bench of an acting ensemble that includes Sacha Baron Cohen, Jeremy Strong, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Eddie Redmayne, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Mark Rylance, and Frank Langella is what makes this one of the most thrilling movies of the year.

Honest Thief

October 16 (U.S. Only)

Liam Neeson plays a thief who wants a second chance. A bank robber willing to turn himself and $9 million in to be with the new love of his life. But then crooked FBI agents (Jai Courtney and Anthony Ramos) steal his money and frame him for murder instead. So he’s left with one thing to do: menacingly hiss over the phone, “I’m coming for you.” We imagine that trailer-ready threat was what Honest Thief was sold on during its elevator pitch.

Rebecca

October 21

Remaking Alfred Hitchcock remains a tricky proposition that has thwarted many filmmakers in the past. Readapting the only one of his movies to win the Oscar for Best Picture, Rebecca, appears all the harder. Yet everything we’ve seen from Ben Wheatley and Netflix’s luscious adaptation of the Daphne Du Maurier novel is highly encouraging.

With a winning cast that includes Lily James as the new Mrs. de Winter, Armie Hammer as her husband Maxim, and Kristin Scott Thomas as his menacing housekeeper Mrs. Danvers, the film opens with the young bride trying to step into the shoes of Maxim’s dead first wife, Rebecca. An apparent light of his mansion that has been long snuffed, Rebecca’s flame burns still if only because of Mrs. Danvers’ admiration for her late mistress… and maybe the ghost who prowls the house. This is archetypal Gothic horror, and with screenwriter Jane Goldman apparently keeping the novel’s original ending, we already feel seduced by the imagery.

On the Rocks

October 2 in the UK (October 23 in the U.S.)

Sofia Coppola and Bill Murray work together again. For the first time since their luminous Lost in Translation (if you ignore the ill-considered A Very Murray Christmas), the director and star are collaborating on this visibly intimate tale. It’s about an adult daughter (Rashida Jones) and her famous father (Murray) spending a weekend in New York City on an adventure after years of estrangement.

Movies

10 Best Alfred Hitchcock Movies

By Michael Leader

Movies

8 Essential Gothic Horror Movies

By David Crow and 1 other

The film, which also stars Marlon Wayans, premiered to a largely warm reception at the New York Film Festival and is already being written about as a spiritual successor to their original collaboration. Once more a woman in the midst of an existential crisis is aided by Murray between glasses of scotch. Who doesn’t want to pull up a seat and order another round?

Over the Moon

October 23

You probably don’t know Glen Keane’s name but you should. The longtime Walt Disney Animation Studios animator oversaw the design and animation of Ariel in The Little Mermaid, Beast in Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin in Aladdin, and Rapunzel in Tangled. With Over the Moon, he steps away from the Mouse and toward Netflix as a first-time co-director, alongside John Kahrs (an animator on Tangled and Frozen).

The trailer for the film is like a Georges Méliès fever dream from as a little girl named Fei Fei (Cathy Ang) builds a rocket ship to take her to the moon. But once there, Fei Fei and friends meet a mythical moon goddess (Hamilton’s Phillipa Soo) who takes them on a candy-colored odyssey through the cosmos.

Synchronic

October 23 (U.S. only)

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are two of the most intriguing new voices in science fiction. If you don’t recognize their names, go watch The Endless right now. One of the strangest and cleverest sci-fi yarns of the last decade, that film is now being followed up by Synchronic, another original tale that stars Anthony Mackie and Jamie Dornan. The specifics of the film remain vague other than it is about two New Orleans paramedics who investigate a series of murders caused by a new, bizarre designer drug. But we already know we can’t wait to watch what horrible side effects come from these poor bastards taking it.

The Craft: Legacy

It cannot be Halloween without at least one more horror movie coming out the week of. Thus enters The Craft: Legacy, Sony Pictures and Blumhouse Productions’ legacy sequel to the original 1996 The Craft. Like its predecessor, this follows an outsider who is the new girl in school (Cailee Spaeny). She may be ostracized by the popular kids, but she befriends fellow students who have alternative tastes… like witchcraft.

The original is a touchstone for millennials and Gen-Xers of a certain age, and this reboot looks to push the story into a more complex understanding of friendship. And if it doesn’t, it’s still a Blumhouse effort so it should have plenty of spooky jumps!

Relic

October 30 (US Only)

Dementia is at the heart of this very eerie chiller where three generations of women convene in an old family home which seems to be rotting from the inside. Robyn Nevin, Emily Mortimer and Bella Heathcote star in a slow build drama which delves into the horror of losing your sense of self, as Nevin’s matriarch goes missing for days and can’t remember what happened while her house is filled with odd notes, black mould and snippets of a life slipping away from her grasp. This is the feature debut of Australian-Japanese director Natalie Erika James and it’s a stylish, chilling and confident first feature with a final act that veers into full blown horror. Out already in the States on VOD it has a UK theatrical release in the UK.

The post Upcoming Movies in October 2020: Theaters, Streaming and VOD appeared first on Den of Geek.

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70swonderpoisonstark · 5 years

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Wait, you survived? ( IV )

// You and Steve survive the plane wreck and end up seventy years in the future. Everything’s different and the only person that understands the confusion and pain of losing your entire world is your now dead husband’s best friend. When the two of you are forced to adapt to the world around you, things can get complicated. //

The love that lasts longest

is the love that is never returned.

____________________________________________________________________

Little did you and Steve know, that would be the last normal morning you guys would have.

While Steve was away one late night at the old gym down the road, a stranger dropped off a hefty file for the two of you to go over. You were confused at first, but as you opened the first page you understood entirely.

There it was, Red Skull's secret weapon. The bright blue cube seemed to shine even on paper, it's icy hue the only thing Howard had pulled out of the ocean in his search for the two of you. You said goodbye to the stranger, noting his underlying awe as his monotone words escaped his lips. Coulson. You thought to yourself. I need to remember that one.

You threw the pages around the living room, arranging them in a way that would only make sense to you. You studied them thoroughly, memorizing every page, noting which subjects you needed to brush up on. In a word, it was amazing. Unlike anything you'd ever seen, the energy readings on the cube alone were enough to power... well a lot of things. Clean energy was just the start of what this could do, and you'd seen the deadly weapons it created up close and personal. They should've left this thing in the ocean. You analyzed the radiation readings, small levels of gamma? You couldn't help but think about all the machines you'd seen this thing power. All the people it had destroyed effortlessly. It was terrifying and exciting all at the same time.

By the time Steve had walked in you had thrown your hair up in a ponytail, and were currently chewing on a pencil, drowning in the papers Steve was told about previously. He chuckled at the mess you were at the center off; not only were you reading the confidential files, but also Astrophysics, electromagnetism, circuit waves, optics, and imaging, and advanced engineering thermodynamics textbooks.

"Wanted to do some light reading while I was gone?" His voice startled you, lost in thought you hadn't noticed he'd come in.

"The science, the calculations, the absolute magnitude of these readings and what they could mean for the human race is... Steve we should've held onto that thing." Exasperated you explain the significance of the power this cube held. It was indescribable.

Steve listened as you explain theories and ideas far out of his pay grade. He was fully invested in the conversation, trying to understand the words you were sayings, but kept losing concentration. He'd hear your sentences, but become fixated on your lips, how red and sweet they looked as you talked faster than a bullet, he'd envision the structural mass of what you were explaining, but get lost in the deep passion he saw in your eyes. You sure were pretty when you were talking all smart like that.. STEVE STOP. He heard his inner voice screaming at him to stop, to drag his attention back to the topic at hand, to listen and pay attention solely because you were a genius and had intelligent things to say, and not because of the way you spoke sounded like pure music to his ears. The tugging at his heart strings had to stop, he forced himself to be objective to be attentive. He could feel a line being crossed with every distracted glance. He had to focus, he had to stop doing whatever it was his heart was trying to do.

By the end of the night the two of you went to bed, knowing in the morning there would be a car to pick the two of you up for a mission. You laid in bed, counting down the minutes to when you'd need to be awake and ready. The thought of being back in the field was a rush, like a kid on christmas morning you tossed and turned with excitement, trying to sleep but unable by the jitters. Sleep was something you'd become very used to not having. After doing so for 70 years, you lose the need, or at least that's what you and Steve had agreed on. You wondered if he was sleeping right now, if he was able to rest knowing the two of you were going back to the old days of fighting side by side.

You had decided on a black and white satin paisley button up tucked into high waisted black jeans with an obnoxiously cute belt, and red heels. You were about to meet some of the smartest and highly skilled people in the world, you had to look the part they'd probably been told about. You curled your hair into a traditional, or now called 'vintage', updo and applied a casual amount of makeup. This wasn't a formal business meeting, but it was important to you that this group of people saw you, a woman, as a person of high stature, you were, afterall, one of the most brilliant people of your time. Plus, you'd always had a crush on Howard, so meeting his son was giving you a small bit of anxiety. You walked out of your room, Steve had on his regular plaid shirt and brown leather jacket, some things never change.

"You look amazing." Steve said sweetly. It was true, he loved how you kept a piece of the 40's with you no matter what you had on.

"Thanks. You look good too, not as good as me, but still." You winked, the butterflies in your stomach settling as you took his arm on your way out the door. A black car was waiting for the two of you out front to take you to headquarters to fly to a secret SHIELD location to meet the people you'd be working with to locate HYDRA's secret weapon.

The plane ride was short, and besides Agent Coulson failing at concealing his excitement at seeing Steve, uneventful as well.

Steve stepped out of the jet first, raising his arm to help you as you descended the stairs down from the plane.

"Ma'am." He'd said formally to Agent Romanoff. They made small talk, and you'd noticed how normal she was compared to her file, funny even too. She walked you over to Dr. Banner and you readied yourself for the hundredth time for all of this hero stuff.

Steve squeezed your hand as he spoke with Agent Romanoff. He knew large groups like this had never been your forte, and wanted to reassure you that everything was going to be okay. Man you couldn't have looked better, but he was always thinking that nowadays, as friends, of course. He watched as you mentally prepared yourself to meet all these prestigious people. He could feel your pulse beating on his arm as Agent Romanoff introduced herself to you, and watched as your facial expression subtly contorted from nervous and terrified to strong and confident in a matter of minutes.

You both shook hands with Dr. Banner, his research was fascinating and elaborate, but nothing you hadn't been able to follow. He was brilliant and you held back on completely nerding out with him in the first five minutes you'd met the guy.

"Is that the, only word on me?" Dr. Banner had asked, he'd shifted his gaze downward and was fiddling with his hands.

"Only word we care about." You said, locking your eyes into his. You knew his backstory, everybody did, but you didn't care, even if he had turned into that thing right then and there you wouldn't have been scared. He was a Doctor first and you knew deep down somewhere that he needed to be reminded that he was a good person too.

"Must be strange for you two, all of this." Dr. Banner said. You looked around, your surroundings slowly merging into images of the past, jogging in full uniform, checking engine performance, analyzing battle strategies. Steve answering pulled you back into reality, you walked into the main room of what was apparently the largest plane you'd ever seen and sat. Steve walked up to Fury and handed him a ten. You gave him a peculiar look, wondering why he was just handing out money like that.

"Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner and Dr. Barnes to their laboratory."

"You're gonna love it Doc, we've got all the toys." She lead you through a series of winding hallways, armed soldiers were making rounds as you found yourselves the secluded lab.

"Here you are, send a message if you two need anything." Agent Romanoff smiled and left you and Dr. Banner alone in the lab. You stared at the floor, you were great with people, normally, but when it came to people you admired things became complicated. You turned into Steve basically. You moved to your station, beginning work almost as quickly as Dr. Banner.

"Spectrometers make all this a lot easier." You said, breaking the hour long silence that had stayed between the two of you. "Back in the old days you had to try and use radar and an algorithm that tracked fluctuations in the earth's natural gravity to be even be able to find some type of radiation or energy source."

"That sounds extensive, how did they even write an algorithm like that?"

"Oh, it was easy really, I reprogrammed an old radar prototype Howard built to track abnormal energy waves depending on the terrain and weather while factoring in geographical information from the past three years and seeing where they differentiated."

"In the fifties?" He said, disbelief coating his words as he looked at you explain such an advanced piece of machinery. Astounded as he realized you were the sole creator of the science it took to run it. No wonder you were the first woman on the front lines of war.

"Late thirties, early forties but yeah way before all this." You shrugged and kept working, happy that you'd finally made conversation with the Doctor after all this time.

"You really are as good as they say." After that your mind settled, you and Dr. Banner, Bruce as you were to call him now, had a silent agreement that working together would be a breeze, and that the respect and admiration between the two of you was mutual. It wasn't until hours later when a skinny man dressed in an extravagant green coat stole your attention that the two of you left the lab. You'd been called back into the main room.

"It's a stabilizing agent, means, the portal won't collapse on itself like it did at SHIELD." He walked over to the very large, hunk of a man and smacked him on the arm. "No hard feelings pointbreak, you've got a mean swing." Stark. All those butterflies from before had started fluttering around again as he spoke. He was smarter than his Dad, you could tell that from the moment he'd started talking. Just as much of a smart ass, if not more. When half the room stared at him blankly he explained himself.

"Last night. Packet, Selvig's notes, the extraction theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?"

"Does Loki need any kind of particular power source?" Steve. Your eyes darted towards him, he looked like he'd just been in a fight. Not a bad one, but he was still going to get an ear full from you when you had a moment. You refocused your attention to the conversation, calculating energy readings and quantum physics into how you'd be able to get the cube to do any particular thing.

"He would have to heat the cube to 120 million kelvin just to break through the coulomb barrier." You sputtered, suddenly drawing the attention of almost every person in the room.

"Unless Selvig has figure out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect." Tony continued, fascinated by you immediately.

"Well, if he could do that he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet." Bruce was tracking with the conversation, the three of you figured out exactly what was needed in a matter of seconds.

"Finally, people who speak english."

"Is that what just happened?"

You stood in your spot as Tony talked to Bruce, all you'd heard from their conversation was 'enormous green rage monster' and then he was over to you.

"Dr. Barnes, I've heard so many stories. Besides Mom, I don't think Dad listened to anybody else. Huge fan. Can't wait to watch you pick apart all my ideas." He shook your hand. Genuinely smiling at you.

"I understood that reference." An eye roll from Tony after a small moment of connection for Steve. All of this science was entirely over his head, he knew the basics but the way you Tony and Bruce were talking was out of his league. He was just happy he'd finally understood something. He made eye contact with you and you giggled, he was adorable when he was clueless.

"Shall we play, Doctors?"

"This way, sir." The three of you scuttled to the lab, Tony unpacked what looked like an entire lab out of a suitcase and you three went to town.

// I’m having so much fun with this concept and have so many ideas on where to take this, you’re gonna love it! Shoutout again to @lunathepettuna for being an awesome human being and inspiring me to write this, love you doll!!

Let me know what you guys think, what you’d like to see, and some crazy vocab words and I’ll write accordingly, thanks for the read, and stay groovy man! //

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spoonssporksandknives · 4 years

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ableism in media: Star Wars

I’m picking on my favest of fave fandoms today y’all: Star Wars. Yes, you actually can enjoy a Thing while acknowledging that said Thing has problematic elements. I LOVE Star Wars, but it’s incredibly guilty of having people who look disabled as their visual shorthand for evil. I’m going to use examples under the cut, but before I do, I’ll say this. It’s okay for ableds to reblog this (please do in fact) but only if you’re actually going to engage in respectful discourse. Racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, fatphobia and other related hot takes can jog on.

Also also: Star Wars abbreviations and their main characters for the more casual fan: OT = Original Trilogy (Luke, Leia, Han); PT= Prequel Trilogy (Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan); (Sequel Trilogy = Rey, Finn, Poe)

Now, back to our regularly scheduled light reading: ableism in Star Wars.

For our visually impaired readers, the top image shows Anakin Skywalker’s first prosthetic hand from AotC, with the caption, “A mechno hand replaces Anakin’s after he is maimed by Count Dooku. As a result of his impetuous passions, Anakin has begun to lose his humanity.”

The second image is of Anakin’s hand in RotS, with the caption, “Some Jedi Council members believe that when Anakin lost his right arm to Count Dooku, he lost some of his humanity.”

Because losing a limb makes you lose humanity, amirite guys? And they even did it twice: the top image is from the AOTC Visual Dictionary and the latter is from the ROTS Visual Dictionary.

It’s in the sequels too, because nothing is more evil than being old AND disabled: (image of Snoke on his throne)

And I know that in a visual medium you need some sort of visual indicators of evil, but using disability as code for evil is all kinds of Not Okay. And let’s not forget that Vader was a huge walking symbol of that in the OT.

However, Star Wars has not limited itself to obviously disabled characters. There are no explicitly coded invisible illness characters (unless we’re counting Vader’s breathing but considering he walks around in a giant space iron lung i think we can say that even that is a visual disability) - there are characters who definitely display characteristics of invisible disabilities. And I’m going to start with the ST’s most overtly coded as mentally ill character. That’s right, it’s ya boi Kylo Ren!

(image: Kylo Ren walking shirtless, in high waisted pants)

(I was originally going to put in a gif of him having a meltdown and destroying a console but I couldn’t find one easily but him shirtless was easy peasy. Go figure.)

Kylo Ren has been a very divisive figure in the fandom - much like Anakin in the PT, and for similar reasons. Public opinion has softened much on the PT but at the time of its release people hated heavily on the things that were coded as mentally ill in Anakin as well - outbursts, whining (is it really whining if you’re worried about your mum dying??), tears, anything not reeking of machismo, basically. Now, there are parts of fandom that have gone out of their way to point out the ways in which Kylo displays tendencies that could be read as autistic/neurodivergent, borderline personality disorder (BPD), or even dissociative identity disorder (DID). Much of the hate that Kylo receives is quite ableist in nature. However, he’s not the only ST character to display mental illness and receive hate for it.

Let’s talk about our reformed Stormtrooper and hero of the ST: Finn. One of the first major scenes involving Finn shows him having a panic attack on the field (and then later after his conversation with Phasma). Finn clearly has PTSD, or maybe C-PTSD - I’m a lay reader and not a psychologist here, on one hand, and on the other, I legit have PTSD and find Finn very relatable.

(image of Finn in his Stormtrooper armor, mask streaked with blood)

And one of the things that disturbs me most about fandom and its tendencies toward purity culture is the fact that many of us who have invisible - and in particular mental illnesses - do in fact enjoy seeing characters who are coded like us surviving, thriving, and yes, still being disabled. Finn has overcome a great deal to get to where he is in the story. Let Finn be happy. Hell, let’s let Kylo live and be happy too. (I know he’s the villain but can we not kill off the obviously abused character?) Dark Side characters often have some sort of trauma and again, it’s the conflation of evil and disability that disturbs me deeply.

And while I’m on the subject - can we talk about the inherent colorism involved in the Dark Side? Color coding evil as darkness continues to perpetuate colorism. I know it’s used because people are afraid of the dark, but in this day and age it’s naive to think that this bit has no psychological effect on the public at all. The choice of Finn as hero is wonderful and it disappoints me greatly that the hints of his Force sensitivity have not been followed up on as of yet. *has a small amount of hope that maybe JJ will do right by our Finn*

Now, there’s a lot that’s problematic about Star Wars’s Force philosophy, and I’m aware that I very much see this as a religious minority, but the Force takes a great deal from eastern religions and philosophies but then turns around and overlays it with some very US Christian light/dark and good/bad duality in a way that is nonsensical to anyone with a background and understanding of the original philosophies. I have an entire tag on my main blog about this, entitled Paganism and the Force. (For the curious, I made this blog because the main is mostly star wars gifs and baby animal videos. I didn’t want people to wade through it for serious stuff, but if that’s your thing have at it) I may cross post or add on to the series here as well. For now, I’m going to leave you with a quote from another writer, who has reached a similar conclusion:

“… it may be countered that the Sith are worse than the Jedi because they commit a number of obscene acts throughout the films, most prominently the use of the Death Star to destroy planets during the Galactic Civil War in Episode IV. Two points in response to this. First, it effectively amounts to a “what-abouttery” argument; an informal fallacy. The Jedi are moral degenerates regardless of what the Sith do or do not do.

Finally, it may be countered that the Jedi only use the light side of the force, and therefore are good, whereas the Sith only use the dark side of the force, and therefore are bad. This is an argument not of reality but of word connotations. Simply put, there is no logical reason to hold that “light” equates to goodness and “dark” equates to badness (emphasis mine). Crucially, both light and dark are equal sides of the Force; they have to exist, as is often said in the films, in a “balance.” Pretending that one side of the Force doesn’t exist isn’t going to make it go away (as much as the Jedi seem to wish this).”

-- Matthew Berto, 'Star Wars': The Sith are the Good Guys and the Jedi are the Bad Guys

War is messy, y’all. Atrocities are committed on both sides and while we might all like a clean cut narrative where the Rebels/Resistance do no wrong, it’s disingenuous and unrealistic to think that this is true. That’s not how war works. The prequels are proof enough that the Republic wasn’t perfect or glorious and considering the current political climate, I wish some people would break out the films again and watch them carefully. Palpatine took it over from within because it was already corrupt. If I lived in the GFFA I’d side eye anyone who wanted to make the Republic great again.

Now, though I have said it before, I’m going to say it again: you can enjoy a thing and still critique it without demonizing it. Love Star Wars all you want (I sure do, got my TRoS tickets for opening night the day they were made available), but maybe, just maybe if the public and the filmmakers could refrain from immediately conflating darkness and disability with evil, that would be great.

#Star Wars meta #disability #ableism #Kylo Ren #Anakin Skywalker #spoonie

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oveliagirlhaditright · 4 years

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Swallow Part 2

My idea for a Kingdom Hearts IV–that will eventually have all that entails, like Shibuya and Verum Rex and Sora’s PoV–but that deals with the idea of a dark Kairi after everything she’s been through, because this girl deserves to be allowed to feel things. First chapter is from the TV show “Angel the Series”–as it’s Fox and Disney owns Fox now–but you don’t have to know Angel to get it.

Madness Surprisingly enough, it hadn’t been Kairi’s idea for her to train like it was the only thing she had left in the world. It had been Riku’s—as many things in her and Sora’s life had started out with him—as he had thought that she should actually try and do something and have less reason to hate herself that way. “But is that… really a good idea?” Kairi had asked him when he’d suggested it, as she’d sat on the paopu tree—the stupid place she had lost Sora at—and worked on making more lucky charms for him and letters, on the off-chance that one of them would work and bring her boy back to her. “Riku… maybe I just was never cut out for fighting. Sora paid a high price in bringing me back. Do you really think I should dishonor his sacrifice by putting myself into even more danger that I can’t handle?” Riku had looked like he wanted to push Kairi into the water beneath them then—and honestly, she could have hardly blamed him even if he had; she’d been so weak then, and she was ashamed to think of it now—and got right into her face as he said, “That’s not the girl who said she wanted to fight like me and Sora, so we wouldn’t be the only ones getting hurt… or who said that she was tired of getting left behind and that ‘wherever one of us goes, the other follows’. Kairi… you made all of these promises to Sora before the Keyblade Graveyard. Do you really want to go back on them now?” No, she hadn’t. That was the last thing in the world that she would have ever wanted. But the person she’d been a few months ago—who had said so much of that stuff—was so different from the girl she was now. That Kairi had gotten a Keyblade into her hand for the first time and had thought that with just a little training, she would easily become as strong as Sora and Riku were. That wasn’t the part of her that had gotten training and still couldn’t get her body to cooperate… and had had to realize that most of her worst nightmares might actually come true, as Terra-Xehanort had charged at her. And they had come true after that. Oh, how they had. Kairi had had one brief moment of peace and pride in herself—when she had kept Sora from fading away, that had then allowed him to save everyone else—but then it had all gone to hell, like so much of Kairi’s life had, and she didn’t know if she wanted to go there again. “Kairi, the problem is we had you train with someone who isn’t a Keyblade wielder at all… And is actually someone who uses his magic to stay away from enemies, when you—in pretty much using a sword—would be in close contact with people. That was our fault, not yours… I’ll properly train you now, so you never have to feel so horrible again. Just let me.” And that was what started it. Many hours a day—eight or more, as if they were working a full-time job and in Kairi’s eyes they were—Riku was training Kairi in the hours that they weren’t looking for any hint as to Sora’s whereabouts. And while it started out rough, and Kairi had continued to think that maybe she should just work on her light magic because of it, she steadily got better and better and even she could see it—it was nothing like what she had encountered with Merlin and Lea. It was actual tangible progress that she could see in her scars and feel in her muscles. And Kairi took it even further than that. She didn’t tell Riku or anyone about this because she didn’t want to worry them, but in the hours when she should have been sleeping or resting, she would do the familiar drills again until they were completely beaten into her. And then she was taking the gummi ship that Mickey had thankfully left for her and Riku out into the ocean between worlds, to find Heartless or Nobodies to fight: something that didn’t help her that much, because Kairi had been able to handle these just fine in the Keyblade War, but every little bit of actual experience helped. And she’d just hoped against hope that on her journeys she could run into some Darksides or Twilight Thorns, and how happy she was—the first time she’d been remotely that in ages—when she did, and began handling them better and better: with little injuries and destruction to her hair and outfits. And at one point—when Kairi had unintentionally taken a page out of Roxas, Xion, and Lea’s book—and had bested five giant Heartless in one night, she had finally felt good about herself… and that nothing could ever happen to her again. She wouldn’t let it. And that furthermore, she knew that she was going to find Sora and bring him home. But it was just when she was beginning to feel great, that such a feeling of euphoria didn’t last. Kairi heard a Corridor of Darkness open from behind her in Twilight Town—a sound she’d made certain she always knew now, as not being able to recognize it with Xemnas before had led to her death—and who would come out of it but someone cloaked in an Organization robe? Of course. Kairi had backed away from her assailant, growling at them as she prepared to send Firaja after Firaja after them. But first, she’d had to berate them a little bit. “You have got to be kidding! I thought the lot of you had been defeated in the Keyblade War. All that we did—which- which led to Sora’s death—was so we could defeat any of you who would survive to try and get the X-Blade again. So, who are you?! And are you at all connected to Sora’s fate?! Do you know where he is?! Tell me!” “Tsk tsk, little princess,” the attractive voice of a man replied—as he motioned with his hands that Kairi should calm down, in the way that Master Yen Sid often told the Keyblade wielders of the new generation to sit down. “It’s… good that you’re so strong now. Go, you! But don’t you know you’re killing yourself? So much sleep deprivation isn’t a good thing. And I know you’re not eating or drinking much, either. You’re going to be dead as a doornail soon, and your boyfriend’s going to come back to see that he sacrificed himself for you for nothing… or worse. That you’ve become a different person from the girl he loved… There’s blood on your hands now, isn’t there Kairi?” Kairi had wanted to deny this, of course. After all, she’d only been fighting Heartless and Nobodies and that was something that needed to be done! But at the same time… she knew that they had once been human, and the thought made her violently sick on the inside. But even more than that… she was hunting the things as sport now, whereas everyone else had only ever fought the beasts when they’d attacked them on their adventures… and she enjoyed killing them too much. And she kept score, the way Sora and Riku once had with their fighting. Every injury she got was a point against her, but each hurt she gave them was a point for her: especially if she could give them many of those without being touched at all. Kairi wasn’t trying to be quick or end their suffering fast at all, but to just use them as target practice as long as she could. And while Kairi hadn’t yet fought another human since the War, she worried that she would do the same when she faced them because it was such a routine now. Sora had only ever told her stories about how Clayton had wanted to kill the gorillas, but Kairi thought that if she herself ever run into him somehow… she’d fight him the way she was now Heartless, and be thrilled for it—that the fear he’d struck in Terk’s heart she could put in his. So, she was falling. Falling into darkness, it seemed… and this man had known this, and it had been only the start for her. “What do you know about it?!” Kairi had demanded then, furious. Throwing her hand out to the side in a way that Sora had used to when he glared at his enemies. “You know nothing. You don’t know me at all! You’re just a forgotten relic from a cause that’s already seen its best day. Now just tell me what you know and get lost, before I-” “Before you what, Kairi?” the voice had cut her off. And there was a sweet cadence in his voice that she hated, as if he’d talked to someone like her before and was trying to be a friend since he’d apparently cared about this other person. “Do something unseemly to me and make Sora hate you even more that way? He loves his little light princess—that’s why he fights for you so much—so what do you think he’s going to do when he comes back and sees you aren’t like that at all anymore? Do you think he’ll stay the knight in shining armor, or will he move onto something bigger and better? “You’re also angry. So angry. And, hey: I applaud you for it—you’re entitled to those emotions, and I may even have use of them—but Sora preferred the sweet and loving little girl, not the one who’s going to get called to many worlds because of her fury now.” Furious? Was she really furious? Kairi had asked herself. She hadn’t felt it at the time—if torn between “bloodlust” and “fury”, she definitely had thought she was more bloodlust at the time—but the Kairi of the present could recognize how her blood had boiled back then, and continued to do so now. But having not liked what this man had said about her getting pulled into an adventure all about her madness—because that wasn’t her at all—Kairi had tried to backtrack a little. “Maybe… maybe I’ve been a little hard on you. You haven’t really done anything to me. Perhaps if anything, you’re just giving me some… helpful advice. And I guess you don’t have to be with Organization XIII... I know a Moogle has worn the coat before, I mean, and clearly they weren’t one of Xehanort’s vessels. So can you just tell me who you are, and what you wa-” “And how easily you fall back into the Naminé routine. Kairi, did you ever think that maybe the two of you were split for a reason? You may be the Princess of Heart… but you have far more fire to you than your Other did, and there’s a reason for it and you should relish it—you must do so—even if it means you can’t have Sora. You must let him go. Can’t you see that?” This had put Kairi in a horrible mood, and she’d cried. But not because she was sad, but because she waslivid—maybe this man was right about that—as it hit the nail on the head too much on how she’d been feeling lately: that fate was keeping her and Sora from being together. So Kairi made a decision. “Perhaps… perhaps you’re right. Perhaps I should go back to just barely training from now on, and be who I once was. And I will. I won’t fall into your plan, and I’ll be what Sora wants me to be.” And partly to spite the man, Kairi had opened a Corridor of Light—something Master Yen Sid had taught her how to do—and left the guy alone. And she did try to make good on her promise to herself. But it never could’ve worked.. For far too long, Kairi had repressed her feelings… and she was done with that. And she had no idea that trying to force herself to do that again, would send her spiraling over the edge. Author’s Note: I was originally going to have more than just a flashback in this chapter… but since it ended up pretty long, I think I WILL cut it here. Maybe it’ll even work better to have flashbacks and present stuff in different chapters. IDK. But I hope you all enjoyed!

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