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#just the sheer amount of work that went into making it happen
scarymath · 9 months
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moondirti · 14 days
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big fan of the headcanon that simon riley is hard to get.
if we're being realistic, he's probably gotten very good at ignoring any inclination he might have towards a person in the years since his families' murder. it's easier to function as a soldier, as ghost, when he doesn't have to carry the burden of concern for someone so vulnerable. whether it's worrying about their safety while he's on deployment and can't afford to, or otherwise repressing his darker tendencies in an effort not to break them; the extra effort just isn't worth it to him. he won't seek you out, he won't take care of you, he won't reassure and coddle and communicate.
and he's not blind, nor is he passionless. he can appreciate a pretty face when one happens to pass by, but that's pretty much the extent of it. he's gotten used to the scorch of the lonely flame that flickers inside of him. if anything, he thinks putting it out and tending to the burns left in its wake would be a more traumatic ordeal than just letting it consume him.
so for him to accept love, it'd have to sneak up on him.
it happens with johnny first. he's the natural candidate, of course. his stubborn subordinate, clever with a fixated loyalty and quick wit – who better than him to get under ghost's skin?
granted, he isn't as guarded around him as he would've been with a civilian. not as cold upon introduction because he doesn't need to be. soap's a soldier, and this is work, and he's confident enough in the sergeant's resilience that it doesn't hinder his routine. he doesn't have to make accommodations, bend backwards or wake up in a cold sweat concerned about the man's wellbeing; not at first, anyway. and such are the floodgates that allow him to embrace johnny's company.
jokes crackled over comms. sitting next to each other on the airlifter. claps on the back after a successful operation. trust in every decision he chooses to take, regardless of whether or not he agrees. he thinks about johnny's eyes, johnny's smile, johnny's fierce little pout and the scar on his chin – but everything in moderation. the perfectly healthy amount. passing appreciation of his best mate's features and nothing more. it's the only meaningful connection he's had in years, and so what if he tugs his cock to the thought of it? people have cum to less.
until the bastard gets himself shot in the liver on solo reconnaissance in cyprus, and almost dies on medevac.
because when ghost gets that call from price – soap's hurt. it's looking grim. – he's wracked with a terror so acute he thinks his heart has given up on him. it's about the worst way to find out that he considers johnny as more than a friend. this sheer desperation, longing, regret. he ponders over it in the plane, tries to scrub the dread from his being. tries to pick apart what went wrong, what makes the sergeant so special.
by the time he reaches the hospital, he's already accepted defeat. all it takes is one look at johnny in his hospital bed – features peaceful, bandages wrapped around his bare chest, mohawk and facial hair grown out – to understand that this isn't going away anytime soon. he'll just have to make his peace with it. readjust to accommodate the protective flare already sparking in his chest.
it's a hassle, but manageable. despite his injury, johnny's still a competent man. they already know how to function in bouts of high stress. they're good– great friends. all this is really is an opportunity for simon to finally dig his cock within an ass he's been eyeing for months – or at least, that's the rationale he uses to come to terms.
and then you arrive. and things get a whole lot more complicated.
johnny's bird, apparently – gaz whispers to him outside of the inpatient room, watching through the window as you fret over the comatose man's pillows – didn' know he had one. m'surprised. you'd think a loudmouth like him would let the world know. she's cute too. really, ghost, did you have any idea?
he can't find it in him to respond, opting instead to march back into the room. you're fussing too much, causing a scene, no doubt disturbing the air with the nervous energy radiating off you in waves.
"he isn' supposed to be elevated like tha'," simon scolds, inflating a bit when you straighten up, eyes blowing wide with distress.
"oh... i just thought- he gets all hot when he lays on his back like this. i wanted him to be comfortable."
he knows that he's being cruel. you've done absolutely nothing to deserve the harsh glare he shoots your way, nor should you be expected to handle it. your eyes are red-rimmed, puffy like you've been crying on the way over. no doubt unused to crises like this one. he should be a help, not another source of stress.
besides. johnny's your boyfriend, not his. he has no reason to be so territorial. he'd only just discovered his feelings eight hours ago.
but–
"are you a doctor?"
"n-no."
"then it's best you keep your opinion to yourself."
he just can't help himself.
over the next week, ghost treats you with nothing more than cold disregard. he side-eyes you when you cry, wakes you up with rough pokes to your shoulder once visiting hours close, and takes every chance to one-up you when it comes down to who knows johnny better. you've got a leg up in the domestic department, but simon knows that nothing can surpass the borderline psychic bond they've built, and he makes sure to emphasise it whenever he can. and fuck, does it annoy him that you take it with grace every time, nodding receptively as though his input is meant to be more than just a searing critique of your shortcomings.
his behaviour doesn't go unnoticed, either. gaz is infinitely perplexed to see that the usually controlled lieutenant is so quick to lose his temper around you, despite your earnest efforts to not be a nuisance, and all price offers are long, disapproving looks that have him itch uncomfortably in his seat.
on the other hand, you must believe that he's just like that – foul mouthed, disparaging, mean – because you don't take it to heart. you remain pleasant, gentle, if not a little bit emotional. never once do you raise your voice at him, or fight back when he extends a particularly hurtful comment. on the occasion that his attitude grows to be too much for you, all you do is slip on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and spread out your textbooks to spend the evening studying on the other side of the room. not keen on making amends, or discovering the source of simon's malcontent, but not affected by it either. you're peaceful. conflict averse. a good girl.
then, you come back one day with a tupperware of cookies.
"i made them myself last night. couldn't sleep, so..." you shrug, holding it out towards him. he assesses them, assesses you, roving over your chapped lips and hollow under-eyes. when did you get to look so defeated?
"no." he looks away, back to the unconscious man in front of him. in his periphery, your shoulders deflate, and he doesn't know what compels him to add the quiet "thanks."
"you've been here every hour of every day. i don't think i've seen you eat. um–" you dodge his gaze when it shoots to you. you've never tried to hold a conversation before now, have always accepted his gruff responses as an indication to leave him alone. he wonders why you can't catch the hint now. "just- let me know if you change your mind. they're shortbread."
and that's the end of it. at least until an hour later:
you're sitting on your armchair, directly across the bed from him, staring blankly at johnny when you speak up. "lieutenant?"
ghost doesn't remember introducing himself to you. he doesn't respond, but clenches his jaw to let you know he's listening.
"he's been comatose for a while." you warble. meaningless chatter. he sees it for what it is: talking so you don't cry. seeking reassurance in someone who knows how these things go.
"hm."
"is this how it usually-"
"sometimes."
"oh."
"he'll be alright." simon adds. more for himself than for you, but your lip wobbles like it's exactly what you needed to hear.
a few moments later, you speak up again.
"he holds you in such high regard, y'know."
he didn't. his heart aches as he follows the rise and fall of johnny's chest, finds solace in it, calming himself before he rips the hair from his skull. he can't speak, can't muster a rude dismissal, or any hatred for you. not anymore. this hospital has sucked the soul from him, as it seems to have done with you.
"he'll be happy to know you've stuck to his side." you smile, stirring from your seat and slinging your bag over your shoulder. "i have to go, got an exam tomorrow. i'll leave the cookies here in case you crave one."
you're halfway out when simon replies. "good luck."
and he's on his third cookie when johnny finally wakes. by then, he's already made up his mind. it's revelation he comes to much faster than the first.
if he can't have just johnny, he'll take you both.
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risuola · 8 months
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hi I hope you’ve been doing well <3 could you possibly write Gojo making female reader! cry during s^x and her using her safeword? basically the aftermath of that as well. tysm 🫶🫶
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SAFE WORD — F. READER x GOJO SATORU
Satoru got back home angry and that got him carried away. contains heat, regret and aftercare.
cw: smut, rough sex, usage of safe word and aftercare, reader discretion is advised — 1k words
a/n: hiii anon! thank you, i’m fine! could I possibly write for gojo? yes. no matter what, the answer most likely is yes, soooo without further ado-
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Fucking cowards. The higher ups, with that rotting bastard Gakuganji included. Always so mouthy while hiding behind matted veils, always forcing their authority over everything Gojo does, always expecting something that stands against everything he believes in. The hell did they even mean when they tried to order him to hunt down a kid that they think might be a threat. A kid?
“Satoru, slow down-“
And they really thought that he, Satoru Gojo, will jump into action to execute a teenager that probably have no idea what is even happening to him? The boy was at most sixteen. Those assholes, they really fucked up his mood.
You noticed Satoru wasn’t exactly in the right space of mind when he came back home, later than usual, smashing the doors behind him and throwing his jacket off carelessly. It had to be a bad day, you knew him well enough to recognize it and with some amount of certainty, you could tell he got caught up with the higher ups. They had an unparalleled ability to make Gojo loose his cool and you really hated seeing your love so upset, so when he grumbled a little hi against your neck, you took him to bed in hopes to relieve some of the tension.
But Satoru’s mind was somewhere else when he was pounding into you ruthlessly, unloading his frustration with his hips colliding with yours time after time, each one harder, stronger, harsher. His mouth wandered all over your neck and chest, leaving bruises and bite marks and you tried to slow him down by tugging at his hair, pushing at his abdomen and scratching his back, but with no effect.
“Shh, you can take it, sweets,” he mumbled an auto-response, picking up the pace even more and pressing your wrists onto the mattress above your head, somewhat annoyed at the way you tried to push him away. Satoru sometimes forgets how strong he really is, how easily he can overpower you with his looming presence but usually, you can take his rough side with pleasure. You really can, and you also like the harsh attitude he sometimes gives you, so contrasting to his usual playful nature, but now he seemed to forget that if he wishes to be the bad guy he really has to put in effort to prepare you for that. This time, as he got up home so worked up and so in his head, he skipped all of the foreplay, cutting straight to the chase and it might have been still fine if he went slower. But he didn’t.
“Satoru, please, it hu- ah-“ you tried to bring him back from his mind but all it did was to push his buttons more. And when he squeezed your wrists harshly, you felt like your bones might just snap underneath the sheer force of his grip. A tear that rolled down your cheek went unnoticed, as his face was buried in the crook of your neck, leaving purple his marks all over the delicate skin over your racing pulse.
“Pikachu!”
Gojo’s mind snapped to place in a split of a second. Every picture he had in front of his brain dissolved into nothing, as suddenly he became painfully aware of his current position. An endless chain of apologies spilled from his mouth as he pulled out and wrapped both of his arms around your middle, rolling onto his back and cuddling you to his chest.
“I’m so, so, so sorry, baby,” he cooed tenderly, kissing your wrists profusely, then kissing your neck, going over every spot he had left there, surprised to even see all of the bruises and teeth marks showing on your skin, because he didn’t even register when he made them. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t-“
“It’s alright, Satoru,” you muttered, feeling yourself relaxing finally in his warmth. “I’m alright, don’t apologize.”
“I made you cry, my baby, I’m sorry,” he said again, pulling the covers over your bodies and tucking you carefully.
“Satoru, love, I’m okay,” you reassured, pressing your lips to his chest, trying to calm him down. It wasn’t often that Satoru was in the state of panic and you could feel him sliding into one as he caressed you, afraid that he’s hurt you.
In Gojo’s mind, all what just happened was nearly equal to him straight up beating you and that, he couldn’t forgive himself. How could he get so carried away to hurt you? It didn’t make sense, you didn’t deserve it and so, afraid you’ll leave him, he tightened his hold on you, whispering more and more sorrys into your hair, and you listened, allowing him to spill it because if he didn’t, he probably wouldn’t sleep for a month.
“Oh, baby,” you cooed finally, shifting slightly and resting your chin on his sternum, “what happened today? Did you talk to the elders?”
By the way he closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, you could tell you hit the spot.
“Do you know what they ordered me to do?” he threw, smoothing his hand over your hair. “They wanted me to hunt down a teenager and kill him. A literal child.”
“Aaand, did you tell them to go fuck themselves?”
“Of course I did.”
“Good boy,” you praised, smiling softly and reaching up to cup his cheek. “So, we’re gonna need to find that kid and take care of him before they order someone else to kill him, huh?”
“I guess so,” he finally let his features soften enough to curve his lips up. The warm feeling of your palm against his face made all of his worries go away and he kissed your hand few times and your wrist also for good measure. “But I can’t believe they had the balls to ask me something like this knowing what I stand for. They even dared to argue with me, threatened to remove me, can you imagine?”
“Don’t worry baby,” you chuckled, moving up and hovering your mouth above his. “I’ll protect you from those old farts, you don’t need to be so tensed and afraid.”
“Ah, that’s a relief,” he lightened up, glancing at your lips with anticipation, but instead of kissing him, you rested your forehead against his, touching noses as your thumb softly brushed over his cheekbone. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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delfiore · 6 months
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—ONE OF YOUR GIRLS.
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pairing: lucy bronze x reader, (alexia putellas x reader)
synopsis: the only reason is simply because you are both heartbroken, lonely, and desperate.
word count: 1.9k
a/n: i gave myself a 1k word limit on this and i failed miserably. literally why is it so hard for me to write a 1k essay for school but not this
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You started to learn Lucy’s routine only a few weeks after she started coming around. Like clockwork, it didn’t matter how late you went to bed, she would always be up before eight. Sometimes, it would be to go downstairs for a swim in the freezing cold outdoor pool in her apartment complex. “Helps me wake up and think clearer”, she would explain. Sometimes, it would just be to sit in the living room with a coffee in hand, watching videos of the team you and her would be playing later in the day. Other times—and it was always a treat when she did—it would be to stay in bed with you, and watch you wake up.
Those were the times in which you felt like what you had with Lucy resembled most like a relationship, due to the sheer amount of domesticity of it. The way she would take time out of the day to lay a few extra minutes with you made it feel concrete like what you were doing was worth the time. But that wasn’t the goal—a relationship.
“I forgot to bring my stuff last night,” you whispered, suddenly remembering the lack of gear you brought over to Lucy’s apartment. You had hastily stuffed the necessities into a crossbody bag when she texted.
“It’s alright. We can drive by later and pick it up on our way to training.”
“We’re gonna arrive together? What if people see?”
Everyone else at Barcelona didn’t know, of course, because you couldn’t even begin to explain what the fuck transpired between you two. It was no relationship, but it was no ordinary friendship either. A special kind of friendship, maybe, but not entirely the kind people would think of if you described it as such . . .
Lucy’s lips pursed, and she contemplated for a moment. After a few seconds, she turned towards the window, the morning sun washed white behind the milky blinds.
“I don’t really care, to be honest,” her chest rose quickly with an exhale. “Why have we got to explain ourselves to people anyway? Kinda tired of it.”
You knew she meant having to deal with the looks her ex would give her. She had been chasing after Keira, trying to make amends for a long time. You knew that, she told you everything.
It made you think about your own situation. You were still very much in love with your own ex, but Alexia has since moved on with a mutual friend, and your conversations were reduced to strictly work nowadays. The way she started treating you after the breakup wasn’t dissimilar to how an older teenager treats her younger, annoying little sibling; with avoidance and an overly sense of self-importance. It made you despise her ten times more than you already did, but you also yearned for her attention, because it was what you have aligned your life with for a while.
But you supposed you had a type—older women with avoidance issues—which was why you were here with Lucy.
“Keira asked me about you the other day,” you said on the car ride to the training ground. You sat in Lucy’s passenger seat. “She was wondering how you were doing. Said you never talk to her anymore.”
Lucy scoffed and turned back to you. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Like what?”
“Like how you actually look so fit in my shirt.”
You let the snort escape your nose but leaned towards her in the passenger seat. “It’s literally a plain black T-shirt, Luce.”
“‘Xactly,” Her cheeks creased with a grin. “Makes me almost want to fancy you.”
“Almost.”
“Almost,” Lucy said.
Almost.
You and Lucy have always had a friendship filled with banter. Heart-to-hearts rarely happened—maybe before and after important matches, or international ones in which one of you had to be the loser—but you appreciated her easygoing nature and how it has shaped your relationship.
If you were a bit closer in age, if you weren’t already with Alexia, and she with Keira at the same time, you reckoned you would have gone for her. You’d always found her attractive.
“You’re too young for me, Y/N,” Lucy had told you once.
“I’m just saying,” you had put your hands up. “If you’re ever desperate enough, I could be like one of your girls.”
Lucy only laughed. Perhaps desperate was the wrong word to use. Lucy Bronze could never get that desperate so as to seek you out for company. No, everything would have to be on her terms.
You agreed with her, though. A nine-year age gap might have been a bit too much, but Lucy wasn’t just like any other 32-year-old.
But you were in love with Alexia. You still were, and your coupling with Lucy might have just been a ploy to piss her off, but your captain didn’t need to know that. Just seeing the not-so-subtle looks she sends your way whenever you are too touchy with Lucy was enough to satiate your grudge.
It seemed the joke wasn’t merely a joke, not to Lucy, because one night, she called you. You had never seen Lucy cry, at least not in person, and she was the type of person to let people see her cry only for her profession, never something in her personal life.
Every joke on your tongue died the moment you saw her blotchy, red face at your front door.
“I didn’t know who else to call.”
Really?
She could have called anyone on the team and they would happily offer her comfort. That was the charisma that Lucy wielded, and you were willing to bet there were other members of the team who were much better than you at comforting someone.
“I think I’m just unlovable.”
You led her inside and offered her a glass of water. I think I’m just unlovable. Her words echoed in your mind as you scrambled to find any words that would be comforting to her at that moment. How do you convince someone that they weren’t their flaws when you yourself struggled with the same insecurities? If Lucy even had those doubts about herself, how could you ever get out of it?
“I think I’m unlovable too.”
You didn’t know whether that was comforting or just rubbing salt in her wound, but Lucy exhaled shakily, for the first time looking at you in a way unlike that of teammates, or even friends.
Unlike a friend would, you lifted your hand and wiped away the tear on her cheek with the pad of your thumb, and unlike a friend would, you leaned in and kissed her slowly.
Kissing Lucy was exhilarating. She was eager and rough, and soft and gentle. It made you almost want to fall in love with her. She was tired, so you climbed on her lap and led the way, and all her burdens faded into oblivion, at least for the night.
When you both arrived at training, only a few of your teammates were there in the locker room, and most of them didn’t seem to notice you coming in together anyway. Pina, though, found you across the room.
“Did you hear?” She said quietly.
“What?”
“Alexia has been with the physios since like 9 this morning.”
“Why? What happened?” You tried not to sound too eager, or worried.
“I don’t know, but I walked past and I think she was crying.”
When you came into the rehab center, a physio greeted you with a smile. You returned it as your eyes quickly found the only person lying down on a bed, hiding her face in the crook of her arm.
“Hey, capitana,” you said in Spanish. “You sleep here last night or something?”
You saw the way her jaw ticked, and looking down, noticed the bandages wrapped around her knee, the ACL one.
“You didn’t happen to bring any coffee in, did you?” She said groggily. “I could use a sip.”
“No coffee, sorry. I’m trying to wean myself off of it.”
“You said that a thousand times before.”
You put your hands in your pockets and leaned against the bed. “What’s wrong?”
She let out a sigh and removed her arm. “They’re making me sit out Saturday’s game. They’re scared I might mess something up.”
You nodded, because you understood exactly why. Another ACL problem would be detrimental to her career in ways that you didn’t want to think about. “It’s better to be sure,” you shrugged.
“I’ve fucked my knee, Y/N,” Alexia said, inhaling shakily. “That’s what it is.”
You couldn’t imagine having to live with the anxiety, tiptoeing around your own knees, afraid it might give out any second again. Even the smallest discomfort could spell trouble, and the slightest movement could trigger the injury to worsen.
You opted not tell Lucy about your conversation with Alexia, because you wanted to keep it to yourself. As useless as that might be, that was the first genuine conversation you’ve had with your ex in about a year. You’ve learned not to take it to heart, though, because you knew you’d disappoint yourself when Alexia eventually goes back to treating you like a kid.
You made a conscious effort not to think about her when you called Lucy over for a hookup, but when she was knuckles-deep inside you, you couldn’t think of anything else but the pleasure.
Laying back and staring at the ceiling, you drew deep breaths as you came down from your high.
“You okay?” Lucy asked.
“Yeah,” you nodded. “Hold me?”
She smiled and gathered you in her arms before kissing you sweetly. “Did something happen with Alexia?”
“No.” Nothing happened, really, but maybe it was because nothing happened that made you so distraught. “Maybe in another universe, where you’re not you and I’m not me, I would take you on a date tomorrow, maybe we’d be happier.”
“Well, why won’t you do it in this universe?”
You shrugged and settled back against her chest. “Because I’m me and you’re you. But mostly, because I am me.”
Lucy didn’t answer. She knew as much as anyone that once you’ve made your mind up, there was no swaying it, and that she didn’t have the energy in her to either. Instead, she leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on your forehead, wishing you’d find it in you somewhere to see yourself the way she sees you.
It would take some time until then, though, as only a few weeks later, she saw you hand-in-hand with Alexia coming to practice. Apparently, Alexia’s girlfriend was no more and you got what you wanted. It was okay, though, because Lucy found comfort in Ona, about to go on a second date with her the next day. You might have almost gotten the love you’d always desired with her, but it was just that, an almost.
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owliellder · 7 months
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Two's A Crowd
College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader
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MDNI 18+
(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)
Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.
Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing
Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of a Fight, Additional Tags to be Added
Author's Note: Ahh thank you for 1,000 followers!! I don't even know how that happened!! Anyways, I think it's a little anticlimactic? I just feel like since I am definitely not the kind to raise my voice, a shy reader wouldn't either. Besides, disappointment hurts more than anger, right?
Cross-posted onto AO3
Chapter 4:
Leon really did like you, honest. You were such a sweet girl, so innocent and clueless. Maybe it’s because he never gave his one night stands the time of day, or maybe it was just the sheer amount of time he had to spend with you to get this close, but now he knew he was a pretty terrible person for taking that bet
In the beginning he didn’t feel the slightest twinge of guilt due to the words the frat spewed at him. He knew all the right questions to ask, all the right things to say, the sweetness of it all had you under a spell.  It was also such a menial thing to get, a single pair of panties… You probably wouldn’t even know it was missing!
But as time went on, it got harder and harder for Leon to stomach just what he was doing. You’d opened up so much to him about your home life, how stressed you were, how much pressure you were under. Doing this would absolutely ruin you so he did his best to convince himself that he was being the nice one by waiting to complete the bet until you had finished all your finals. All that time spent together had him second guessing, triple guessing, even quadruple guessing his decision to go through with this. The good grades were important to you, he didn’t want to draw your focus away from that.
It was a shame his friends couldn’t keep the damn thing to themselves even if their life depended on it. He’d explicitly told them that it’s done and there was nothing more to it, yet of course they just had to snicker and make snide little comments to each other the next day when they saw you in passing.
Leon wouldn’t admit out loud that you’d really grown on him over the months, so he could only brush his friends off whenever they’d tease him about getting angry whenever the topic arose. Chris was the worst out of all of them, being his best friend, it seemed like his mission was to dance on Leon’s nerves any chance he got.
“Delete that.” A scowl graced Leon’s features as he glared at Chris, who’d stepped back from the agitated man. Almost the entire frat had posed with the panties Leon stole from you, all of them making some form of exaggerated pose and face. What was only meant to be goofy on their part was making the man responsible furious.
“Relax, it’s just a picture. I thought you’d find it funny.” Chris chuckled, bringing his phone back in to look at it again himself. “You’re acting real sour for nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. You’re all acting like a bunch of fucking idiots and I’m sick of it. Now delete that damn picture before I smash your phone with a hammer.” The nonchalant attitude from Chris was driving Leon up the wall. He already knew he’d fucked up big time, and with the way everyone was acting would only get him into bigger trouble.
“Shut up, man.” Chris laughed, like this was all some big joke. Everything was a joke to him. “Acting like you’re gonna explode or something.” This man was an actual dumbass, never taking a moment to actually think about what consequences having photo evidence with the entirety of the frat’s members posing with something stolen would have.
Leon scoffed, holding his hands up before letting them fall dramatically to slap against the tops of his thighs. “No fucking way..” One hand came back up to cover his mouth, breathing out sharply through his nose. It was a sad attempt to keep himself from pouncing on the other man, seeing as not barely five seconds later he tackled Chris, hands scrambling to rip the phone from his hand.
Chris was a few inches taller than Leon, a bit stronger too, so the scuffle didn’t last long. Some punches thrown here, a few kicks there, and Leon had the wind knocked out of him at some point, thrown to the side and left to struggle to get up off the floor while Chris decided to make his way to a different part of the house, muttering under his breath all the while.
“God dammit-” Leon wheezed, on his hands and knees, one hand against his chest as he tried to catch his breath. Sure he reacted purely on instinct, but Chris could stand to be knocked down a few pegs in his opinion. The guy is an ass.
After finally collecting himself, Leon slowly spun around to rest his back against the foot of the couch, elbows resting on his knees. He coughed a couple times and let his eyes fall closed, eyebrows furrowed as he silently seethed. Chris was most definitely going to send that picture around since he obviously thinks it’s the funniest thing to ever grace this planet. You were going to see the picture. That thought alone had his head falling forward in defeat, breathing out a weak sigh and a few more coughs. 
If he had just followed his own shitty advice, he would’ve taken a second to think about it. Why didn’t he just tell you in the first place? Why didn’t he just go to the store and buy a random pair of panties? Why did he follow through on such a meaningless bet?
Now that Leon thinks about it, he was the dumbass in this scenario. A royal one.
He probably sat there for an hour with his eyes closed, mind racing a million miles a minute. Trying not to make another stupid decision, he decided the best course of action would be to tell you before you saw that picture. You should hear it from him and not a total stranger. It was the right thing to do. Right?
He let out a few more strangled coughs and wheezes as he stood up off the floor and threw his coat on, beginning the walk of shame to your building. It wouldn’t have taken that long, but the snow and sludge on the ground made it a bit more dangerous, he needed to tread carefully. In more ways than one.
The extended walk left him alone with his thoughts, seeing as he didn’t grab his own phone to bring with him. With every step his mind grew heavier, an involuntary grimace scrunching his face up as he mulled over what exactly he’d done. He was mentally beating himself up over how easy it would’ve been to avoid this situation if he’d just thought outside of himself for one singular minute.
What had he done? 
Leon stomped the excess snow off his boots once inside of the dorm building, hands hidden in the pockets of his jackets as he meandered over to the stairs to get up to the second floor where your dorm was. He took his sweet time, practicing what he wanted to say under his breath as he stared down at his feet while walking up the steps.
Your dorm was down the hall around the corner, allowing him the few extra seconds it would take to get there to get his heart under control. You would be mad, rightfully so, but would you forgive him? Is it selfish to hope that you would?
He stood in front of your door for a minute longer, hand hovering just in front of it, trying to bring  himself to knock. Licking his dry lips, he quickly hit the knuckle on his index finger against the door three times, his eyes downturned. As much as he wanted to be the bigger person, it scared him to no end. He’s never cared this much before, so why was he so worried about it now?
Leon’s eyes shot up at the sound of the door opening, immediately showing his confusion when it was Sky on the other side. They didn’t say a word, but they looked mad, or at least very irritated. “Hey, I really need to talk to-,” they cut him off by simply holding up the palm of their hand to him, taking in a deep breath. “We saw it.”
Those three words made his heart drop to his stomach, his eyes quickly darting to look through the opening in the door to see if he could see you. “Please, if you would just let me explain I can-”
“Don’t embarrass yourself. Just go.” Sky was just about to close the door before they quickly looked over their shoulder, shutting the door almost all the way. Leon could hear them whispering to you, and though he desperately wanted to listen in, he decided to take a step back from the door and wait patiently. It was the least he could do.
He looked side to side to make sure no one was walking through the hallways, not wanting anyone to eavesdrop on such a sensitive situation. The door reopened, only this time it was you standing in the doorway. You looked so sad, so disappointed.
Leon hesitated before opening his mouth, yet you cut him off before he could even get a word in. “I trusted you,” you rasped quietly, a shaky sigh passing your lips, “I-.. I trusted you… and this is how you treat me..?” His shoulders slumped as he listened to you. He didn’t think he could feel any worse about this, but here you were, reminding him just how much of an ass he’s been.
“All that time we spent together.. all those kind, encouraging words you told me.. were all a lie?” You sniffled, arms slinking around yourself tightly. Sky was standing out of his view rubbing your back, knowing you wanted, no, needed to confront him yourself.
“No- I-..” Leon stuttered, trying to find the best way to explain everything. And no matter how many times he formulated it in his head, the explanation would never justify his actions. Instead he settled on something that would probably mean and do nothing for you. It was worth saying, though. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m so sorry,” his voice fell to a whisper as he repeated himself, eyes remaining on yours. What else could he say?
Silence fell between you as you only stared back at him with glassy eyes, your every breath shaky as you held back sobs. Crying in front of him would only give him more fuel, was your thought process. In your mind, he couldn’t even be trusted with your trash. 
By now, Sky had walked over and grabbed your suitcase, rolling it over next to you. You were leaving a day earlier than you said you would, Sky having offered to drive you back home since your hometown was only a couple hours away from where theirs was.
You didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response, instead taking the handle of your suitcase from your friend before silently walking out of the room, past Leon, and down around the corner. He only stood and watched you walk off with a deep frown, head turning back to look at Sky when he heard them lock the door behind themself. 
“You’re only sorry that you got caught.” They grumbled as they walked past him, giving him a quick yet harsh glare. They soon disappeared around the same corner you had, leaving him all alone in the now quiet hallway. 
You were the nicest, most considerate person he’s ever had the pleasure to know and he blew it. The worst part about it all was you didn’t even seem mad, just heartbroken. Disappointed in him.
You had put so much of your trust into him, even after he’d been so nasty towards you in the beginning, and what did he do with it? He basically spit on it, lit it on fire, and then flushed the remnants. He was only annoyed with you the first few times he had to help you study, the bickering the two of you shared easily becoming one of the things he liked about you.
Leon honestly liked you from the start, so determined to pass a class that you’d put up with what was basically harassment from him. When he told his frat buddies about you, they were quick to draw up that bet. Unfortunately, he’d known most of these guys since middle school, and you were just a girl he met on chance. His friends’ words blanketed his own morals, and because they saw you as a target, so did he, that subconscious need for peer approval leading him to make one of the worst decisions he’s ever made thus far.
If he was in your shoes, he’d raise hell, so your decision to leave was completely understandable. For some reason you’d let him off easy and he knew he didn’t deserve such light treatment. 
All he could do now was hope you’d come back next semester. He’d be fine just getting to see you in passing since you most likely wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him anymore, your friends would certainly keep him at a distance away from you. 
Would writing a message be okay? You need time before he approaches the topic with you. Should he leave you be? No, you deserve an apology, even if you don’t want it, nor accept it. 
Someone brushed by Leon, breaking his train of thought. He was still standing in the hallway in front of your dorm room. He needed to go and try to make this right, or at the very least rip everyone at the frat a new one. He wasn’t sure, maybe it was because he was angry at them and himself, but leaving the frat sounded like a pretty good way to start righting his wrongs. Not before he made sure that the picture was wiped from everyone’s phone and the panties he stole were kept far away from everyone there. 
Chris sent the picture to you, which means it was sent to a bunch of other people too. He’ll spend all winter break tracking down every last person it was sent to, tell professors what he’d done just so it didn’t spread any further. And if it meant he’d lose his scholarship, then so be it.
tags:
@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik @animesnowstorm @lexi-zsy09 @mylifedoesntexist @ifeellikedying @yourmommylol04 @ravioli19 @dakiniii @papichulo120627
(few of your blogs won't work, i tried though 😭)
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gentrychild · 4 months
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An anon who was rereading Anyone asked me what would have happened if Izuku didn't like eggs and how you tell a supervillain you don't like what he made and that you want something. I have bravely tried to answer said ask but Tumblr laughed at my pain, so here is it, on a new post.
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When confronted with the super villain Izuku had accidentally broken out of the most secured prison in the country, a man who had basically walked out of said prison as soon as he hadn’t been restrained anymore, Izuku did the only thing any rational person would do.
He ran like hell. No shoes, no plan, nothing except Full Cowl roaring in his veins and he fled.
At least, he tried to.
Strong tendrils stopped him dead, then hands picked him up by his shoulders and suddenly, his feet weren't touching the ground and he was forcibly brought to the kitchen table.
''No, no, no,'' All for One said with the tone one would employ with a disobedient pet or a very young child. ''Your breakfast is going to get cold and we have so much to talk about. Sit. Enjoy the eggs. If you don't like them, I can make something else.''
And he dropped him on his chair, before putting the plate in front of him. Then, he sat at the other end of the table, facing Izuku, his own plate in front of him and he started to eat. Slowly, his manners perfect, while Izuku was dying of sheer stress over there.
Then, he looked at Izuku. Then at Izuku's plate.
''You're not eating?''
Izuku looked at the man who had literally reduced people to paste last night and then at his plate of eggs and bacon, then back at the lunatic who was probably going to skin him alive soon enough. He needed to do something, to get the time to find a way out of this mess.
Now, any reasonable human being would have eaten a bit of eggs and bacon – well, eaten the bacon in Izuku’s case – but he had just woken up, was in a pre-caffeinated state and truly, Izuku had never claimed to have the slightest working relationship with sanity.
“I don’t like eggs,” he blurted out.
The supervillain, the very same man who had literally gone through a prison riot of fellow villains like he was running through wet paper, was startled so badly by those four words that he dropped his fork.
“What do you mean, you don’t like eggs???” he asked like this was a ludicrous notion, like everyone’s favorite breakfast should be eggs and bacon.
“Never liked them,” Izuku lied, by pure spirit of contradiction, far more developed than for most people, for it had been left with quite the amount of room after the disappearance of all his survival instinct.
And it was indeed a lie because, once upon a time, it had been his favorite comfort food, but when he had been a kid, during one of those weeks where his mom was gone and the neighbor supposed to watch over him was busy forgetting his existence, he had gorged himself on it at every meal until he had gotten so sick of it that he had been unable to eat them ever again.
All for One watched him with something that went beyond annoyance, it was the patented look of someone who knew one was messing with him and the words “You’re a goddamn liar” were probably fighting to be left out but he had no proof that Izuku was bullshitting him and if even if he somehow had a lie-detecting-quirk, Izuku would keep denying it because he probably wasn’t making it out alive anyway so why deprive himself of the chance of annoying his would-be-killer?
And actually, why wait?
“I prefer waffles,” Izuku informed him because, after all, All for One had offered him to make him something else.
All for One stared at him without saying anything, probably thinking about all the ways he could have killed Izuku back when they were in Tartarus. Meanwhile, Izuku gave the illusion to be staring back at him when he was actually thinking about the fact the window made a faster exit but All for One would have the time to catch him before he landed seven floors lower while the door offered him more options.
All for One eventually abandoned his plate and started to rummage through the cupboards, going straight to the place where Izuku and his mom usually put the baking ingredients. Either everyone organized their kitchen the same way, or All for One had broken in so many homes that he was just a pro at using any kitchen he found himself into.
“Do you have flour?” the lunatic called out. “I can’t find it.”
Izuku had already flowed out of his chair and was making his way to the door by walking backwards, trying to radiate nonchalance and not the need to RUN AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING BACK.
“Try the highest shelves,” Izuku helpfully suggested, his hand on the doorknob.
It was where his mom put the heaviest pots and pans they usually didn’t use, since everyone in this household needed to climb a chair to access it. With a little luck, they would all fall on All for One.
Izuku left the apartment, not even bothering to fully close the door behind him, and he ran. He was in his pajamas, had found his sneakers by the door and they were still in his hands as he booked it out of his neighborhood as fast as Full Cowl could carry him and he didn’t stop until his building wasn’t in sight anymore. Then, he stopped on a bench, the couple flirting on it deciding they could do that somewhere else when they saw him approaching, and he put his sneakers on, took a deep breath, and decided to run some more, still in the opposite direction of where Todoroki was living, and then, he would figure out a plan.
Unfortunately, liquid shadows chose this moment to appear right in front of him, revealing All for One, who was holding a bag from Waffle Palace in one of his hands.
“I didn’t find any flour or sugar so I just ordered in.”
Some people would have screamed or been startled but Izuku had already ripped the bench from the ground and thrown it at All for One. The villain batted it away with his empty hand but it didn’t matter because Izuku was already half way through the park, or at least until black tendrils grabbed him and yanked him back.
 “Your waffles are going to get cold,” All for One sternly informed him before grabbing him by the back of his shirt and he warped again, this time with Izuku under his arm.
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livwritesstuff · 2 months
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I've had a consistent thought in my head of the girls learning more about the upside down.
Like they know a bit: uncle Dustin still lives in Hawkins doing research on something, they've seen their dads and they know about the scars and their disabilities. They know something happened to their entire family and they know there was an earthquake that wasn't really an earthquake. But they've never learned more than that and they'll never know the details as long as Steve and Eddie have a say.
But at some point, each of them realizes that the monster hunter jokes that their dads make aren't really jokes.
In general, I think Steve and Eddie’s sentiment surrounding how they address the not-so-pleasant aspects of their past with their daughters is that they won’t lie (because that’ll only come back to bite them in the ass later), but they’re also only going to tell them as much of the truth as they literally need to.
Not that Moe knows any of this.
All Moe really knows is that her dads went through some scary-ass shit when they were her age and they don’t really talk about it.
Still, Moe has eyes. Maybe she didn’t realize it when she was little, but even just the sheer amount of scar tissue her dads have isn’t exactly normal. When she asks where they got them, though, all they ever say is that a monster tried to eat them.
Moe also knows that the reason Pop doesn’t usually join them on shopping trips at the mall is because they can trigger bad migraines, and she knows the reason he gets migraines in the first place is that he’d taken too many hits to the head in too short a time, but when she asks how he’d gotten a concussion and then a TBI and then two more concussions in the span of four years he always just says something like picked a fight with the wrong Russian spy, or something like that.
And it’s public knowledge that Dad was accused of murder when he was in high school and nearly died before the charges got dropped, but when she asks about what happened, he gives her some spiel about curses and demons and portals to alternate dimensions and monsters (again, with the monsters).
They’re kidding, Moe knows. They’re giving obviously fake answers because…well, for a lot of reasons, she can imagine– not wanting to relive whatever actually happened, not wanting to put their own trauma onto Moe and her sisters.
Honestly, Moe doesn’t really even bother asking about it anymore because they clearly don’t want to talk about it, and if it really was that bad, she can’t even blame them. Besides, she’s pretty sure that dads are supposed to be total mysteries to their kids, so…whatever.
The story of what happened in Hawkins, Indiana starts to gain some public attention again while Moe is in high school – one of those true crime conspiracy theory-type stories people make Reddit threads and YouTube videos about, and apparently (because Moe has no interest, but Robbie likes that kind of stuff) Dad almost always comes up in them, Pop sometimes.
Around that time is when Moe’s dads start to get all kinds of media requests – not that Pop had any idea. He’s basically chronically offline, so no one is really able to track him down other than finding his work email on Psychology Today, but he’s got filters set up to send that shit to spam so he doesn’t even have to see it. Dad, on the other hand, is (supposedly) well-known for his books or whatever, so he doesn’t have the same kind of anonymity. He got all sorts of calls and emails from people wanting his first-hand account, but he always refused to participate, told them to lose his number and never contact him or his family ever again.
That’s the kind of thing that really rattled Pop – Moe didn’t like that. He’s kind of an immovable object in that way, so seeing him rattled just seemed wrong.
They’d even needed to threaten legal action against one online tabloid who just wouldn’t leave them alone – not that Moe is supposed to know about that, but she’d eavesdropped on a phone call between her dads and Uncle Dustin, who seems to exist as a central point in it all even if Moe doesn’t know why (maybe it has something to do with how her dads always complaining about how he still works for that lab, whatever that means).
“Are you ever gonna tell us what really happened?” Moe asks one day, when it’s just her and Pop in the car on their way home from a basketball tournament in Connecticut.
He sighed, not taking his eyes off the road.
“Hon, can I ask you to stop and consider that maybe we have been?”
And for her dad’s sake, she does, she makes herself run through the mental log of all the lore or whatever she’s unlocked over the years.
Monsters, Russian spies, superpowers, demon-animals, curses, portals to alternate realities, government corruption, evil scientists.
Bullshit, she’d always thought, but…her dad had never bullshitted her before. Why would he choose to start with this?
Moe looked back at him, some kind of question on the tip of her tongue even though she had no idea what to ask, and this time, Pop spared a glance back.
“I’m not telling you everything,” he warned her as he looked back at the highway stretching out endlessly ahead of them, and Moe tried to keep any signs of disappointment off her face, “But I’ll tell you some.”
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j-jinxee · 2 months
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FIRST TIME ☆
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TYPE - Lucifer x Reader
WARNINGS - service top Lucifer, p in v, petnames, swearing, daddy kink, breeding kink if you squint, I think that's all of them??
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"Really?" Lucifer looked up at you like he had just fallen in love all over again. "You really want me to be your first?" You've never had sex with anyone in hell, even in your human life it only happened maybe 3 times. You've explained to your friends how most people just never interested you enough to want to go that far. To put it simply, you were never one for a cheap lay, but Lucifer had stolen your heart years ago.
Of course you had thought about it plenty times before, but you always second guessed yourself with this stuff, so you brushed it aside and waited for the right time. Little did you know, the right time was never when you expected it. It was late, around 2am, no light entered your shared bedroom apart from the dim glow of the red sky. You and Luci were next to one another in bed, quietly talking about various subjects, rarely anything important, you just liked listening to eachother. You honestly couldn't recall how you got on the topic of first times, but here you were.
"Well I'd obviously want you to be my first in Hell Luci" you told him while smiling sweetly.
"Really?" He gazed up at you with such love.
"Of course, who else would it be?" You questioned, giggling at how honoured he felt, even though you two had been together for roughly 2 years now.
"You really want me to be your first?" He couldn't hide his smile, you could hear the sheer amount of adoration in his voice.
"Yes baby, why wouldn't I?" You two never broke eye contact while starting to sit up.
"I don't know I just- I'm glad it's me" The highlights in his eyes were heart shaped, and your hands stayed clasped together as he shifted to fully face you.
"I'm so lucky" He said, barely a whisper as he captured your lips with his. He was now situated ontop of you, his left hand slowly went down from your hip to your thigh, while yours rested on his jawline.
You let yourself fall into the moment, quietly moaning into the kiss, and feeling him smile against your lips. His right hand wandered underneath your baggy shirt, playing with the lining of your black lace bra. He broke the kiss for a moment, looking you in the eyes for permission, you gave him a slight nod before connecting your lips again.
He unclipped your bra with ease, even if he used sorcery, it was still hot. Your hands glided down his chest to unbutton his waistcoat, while his made feather light friction to your folds. You still had your shorts on, but they were thin, and Lucifer could already feel everything through them.
He didn't want to separate your lips again so soon, so with a snap of his fingers, your shirt and shorts vanished off your body. Feeling the cool air hit your sensitive bud, before the sensation being replaced with Lucifer's fingers. "Let me know if anything hurts, ok baby?" He looked up at you through half lidded eyes, eyes that were full of nothing but lust.
He carefully dragged your body downwards so you were fully lying down, god he looked so pretty above you like this. His fingers slowly glided up and down your slit, the pace making you squirm, but you didn't know what to say. Lucifer could see the effect he had on you, "shh, don't worry darling, I'll make you feel good" his tongue immediately entering your mouth as his fingers brought you closer and closer to the edge.
Your mind was already fogged, and he wasn't even inside you yet. Your hands raked through his hair as the coil inside you got tighter and tighter. The intensity of the moment had you sweating already, and this was only his fingers. Before you knew it, the coil snapped and left you moaning into his mouth while clenching around nothing.
Lucifer worked you through the high gently, calming you down by kissing your neck and collarbone. "Now baby, I don't want to overwork you..." he spoke, "I know I can hold out, I'm just not sure you can." His voice sent chills down your spine, making you smile. You swear his eyes were glowing red at this point, not because of anger like most people saw, no. This look was only to be seen by you.
"Please Luci, I need you now- please"
"Ok baby, just- please let me know if anything hurts" he was so loving, wanting to give you nothing but pleasure.
His boxers already had a wet patch from all the pre leaking out of his tip, you inched them off his hips and started palming his length. "fffuck babe- be careful" he teased before positioning himself at your entrance. His hands holding your waist for leverage as he slowly pushed into you, watching your tight little slit swallow his cock made his pupils dilate more than you've ever seen.
You squirmed at the feeling of being stretched, but you knew he would stop if he saw you show any signs of discomfort, so you just awaited the pleasure. He shifted his hands to clasp yours instead, holding your hands down by either side of your head. Giving you time to adjust, he slowly started to move, not faltering his eye contact.
He thrusted antagonisingly slow, hurting you was his worst nightmare, but you couldn't take this. "Please- ah! Please faster!" You pleaded.
"A-are you sure angel? I don't wan-"
"Fuck me harder! please! I need you"
You threw all dignity out the window, you'd beg for his dick if you had to. That riled him up to the point he wanted to go faster too, so he did. Thrusting into you hard and fast, his eyes progressively glowing brighter and brighter as he witnessed the beautiful sight before him. "ff-fuck angel! So tight, like you were made for me."
His talk got you closer and closer, causing you to say whatever came to mind. "Ah- Fuck! So good, daddy!" ...that caught him off guard.
"Ohh~ fuck baby, you know me so well" he nearly came on the spot hearing you call him daddy, while also relieved that he didn't have to tell you that he absolutely lovedddd it.
His thrusts became more animalistic by the second, unhooking your legs from around his waist and pushing them to your chest. Fucking deeper and deeper inside you. You felt like passing out right then, his cock reaching places you were sure didn't exist before.
"Shitshitshit! Ah- Luci! I'm close"
"Me too baby- cum for me, cum on my cock"
You pulled him down by his unbuttoned waistcoat and captured his lips with yours once more. Feeling his tongue invade your mouth as you both came to climax. Thick ropes of his hot, white cum shot up into your womb as you came undone for him. He made you into a fucked out mess, while also treating you like a porcelain doll. He pulled out but used his fingers to shove his cum back inside of you, rambling on about how he'd love to see you pregnant, how he wanted a child with you, even if he knew there was a very small chance of it actually happening.
Luci layed down next to you, holding you close and whispering soft praises in your ear. You could already hear the bath running, perks of having a boyfriend who uses sorcery. You could tell he was the one, no one had ever treated you like this, and you'd never loved anyone like this before.
"Thankyou baby, I love you"
"I love you too, my beautiful angel"
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RAHHH this took so long wtf lmfao 💀 I hope y'all like it tho 🫶🏻🫶🏻 I don't rlly have much to say here so yuh
Side note tho, I'm so obsessed w Lucifers voice when he says "but hey! A hotel, fun" in episode 5 like UGH his voice is just so 🙏🏻🙏🏻
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Text
Living Waters...
Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru
The Cursed Trio | Desert Oasis
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...
Before setting off for the day, you made sure to grab an extra hairband, anticipating that Geto might need one if his broke. As it turned out, he had the same foresight, which wasn't all that surprising considering the amount of times you'd lose them.
Another curious fact, for some reason, everyone came to you whenever their uniforms got a tear or two simply because you had once mentioned liking to sow things back together
You swear Gojo would do it on purpose considering he always had his stupid fucking infinity on. Geto, on the other hand, likely made sure to be just a tad bit more reckless with his uniform before turning it into you.
He actually liked to watch you work, eyes entranced by the way your hands move and manipulated the fabric --- all while you hummed some tuneless melody under your breath
Moving on
Did you know that Gojo accidentally revealed to Yaga that you had a fondness for unique plushies? Since that day, Yaga began surprising you with a new plushie every day. Sometimes he'd toss them straight at your face, while other times, he'd leave them outside your door.
As the days passed, your room became a plushie wonderland, and you realized you needed to have a serious conversation with Yaga about this overflowing collection.
Despite your talk, the "plushie issue" remained unresolved. However, every Friday after class, Yaga started setting up the classroom to teach you how to knit as a way to compromise.
With this newfound skill, you took matters into your own hands and began creating mini-plushies of everyone around you.
For Kento, you designed a stylish cream business suit that perfectly complemented his rather bland calm personality. You also created a matching outfit for his best mate, Habaira, but in a sleek black color. Habaira was overjoyed with the gesture, though he playfully joked that he looked like his mini-plushie was ready to attend a funeral. Kento couldn't help but chuckle at the comment, a rare small smile gracing his lips as he softly muttered a heartfelt 'Thank you.'
For Ieiri, you crafted a unique plushie, dressing her in a doctor's coat and adding her trademark little cigarette, capturing her essence beautifully. She was absolutely thrilled when she saw it, expressing her excitement with a lazy smile as she kissed you on the cheek.
Yaga received a miniature replica of his current look, which he proudly displayed by placing it next to his computer monitor in his office. Sometimes, you'd catch him smiling at it.
Gojo's plushie was a fun challenge, with a spiky-haired version of him sporting a blindfold instead of sunglasses. Gojo playfully teased you about making a second version because you just couldn't get enough of him. You threatened to take it away, and he protested, holding the plushie just out of your reach. Lanky bastard.
(You never did see that plushie ever again tho, wonder what happened to it)
As for Geto, you searched the internet for some fashionable outfit inspiration and dressed up his plushie accordingly. He later humorously referred to it as his mini shaman (the fashionable outfit was a shaman's attire. Sorry not sorry) , but he assured you that he genuinely loved it. In fact, he liked it so much that he transformed it into a keychain for his bag, carrying it with him wherever he went.
I should mention that by now, your fluency in Japanese had improved dramatically. However, out of a sheer habit, both boys had the tendency to order for you. Then again, they also ordered for one another. Everyone in this fucking three-way has memorized each other's orders like the back of their hand.
You know their coffee orders by heart; Geto knows both of your favorite meals by heart, and Gojo knows both your and Suguru's favorite sweets by soul. (Sorry not sorry)
You all take turns treating one another, but often it's Gojo who insists on paying for you and Geto, given his big-boy bank account. (You will never reveal to them how somehow Mei Mei has become your sugar mama and pays you for simply existing, on the daily)
Geto can't ever drink your or Gojo's coffees because they're just too sweet. It's so sweet it could put a diabetic into a coma. So the two of you happily share taste-sips with each other.
On the other hand, Gojo couldn't handle the intensity of your and Geto's meals due to their overwhelming spiciness. Just the aroma wafting around would bring tears to his clear sky-blue eyes. As for you, vegetables weren't your preference, so Geto would kindly slide his plate close to yours, allowing you to discreetly transfer the unwanted veggies onto his plate without creating a mess on the table.
Gojo would then tease you for your preference, mocking you as he likened you to a small child. So properly, the only adult response was to engage in a game of footsies with him under the table until, accidentally, Gojo hit you a bit too hard, causing you to flinch and squeak. Geto noticed your reaction instantly, and he gave Gojo a piercing glare, silently warning him to be more careful. Gojo, feeling a bit awkward, focused on stuffing his face to avoid eye contact with Geto.
Ah, nothing like a protective mama Geto
Whenever you're trying to avoid Gojo and his endless taunts, you have a clever strategy: hiding in his dorm room, a place he never imagines you'd willingly go. As he spends the entire day searching the school high and low for you, you're actually inside his room, peacefully resting or just relaxing. Oftentimes, you snoop. Hehe
You possess like some Gojo-detector, giving you the ability to sense when Gojo is about to return to his dorm room. The moment you feel he is messing you, you swiftly sneak out unnoticed. He never manages to catch you, and the mystery of why his bed sometimes smells like you remains unsolved for him. That is until one night, he stumbles upon your favorite bracelet tucked under his pillow, the clasp broken.
You can't escape him anymore
Geto finds solace in your room, partly captivated by its enchanting fragrance. The persistent presence of an oil diffuser emanates an aroma that seems to be woven from the fabric of dreams. Its sweet and gentle, a lingering scent that holds a subtle allure, almost addictive in its embrace.
Lost in the allure of the ambiance (doesn't help that you like to keep your room dark and cold with blue lighting) Geto spends literal hours nestled amongst the plushies, lulled to sleep by the whole scenario. Whenever he departs from your room, the decent clings into his clothing. Leaving a trail of flowers behind that informing others of his presence in your room.
Speaking of him
Sometimes, you wake up in the dead of night, feeling something off. It's as if you possess a strange, innate ability to sense when someone is going through a rough time. Perhaps it's connected to your Cursed technique, or maybe your soul simply has a way of recognizing their distress. Regardless of the reason, you find yourself instinctively reaching for one of your pillows and following the invisible trail of energy.
Tonight, your focus settled on Geto's room. He had entrusted you with a key long ago, allowing you to enter his private space when desired.
You approached the door with a gentle, single knock (you have this specific way of locking that involves lightly tapping on the door with your nails. Much like a cat would) before letting yourself in. And there he was, sat up on his bed, his blankets tangled around his lap as beads of sweat trickled down his face. A haunted look in his eyes.
Geto prided himself on being able to maintain a stoic poker face, but even he had to admit. Out of your little trio, you were the one most attuned to their emotions. You could read the warning signs long before they fully manifested.
You slipped into his bed, performing your nightly ritual of unraveling his locks from the right bun he wore to sleep. Quietly, you would always mention how it wouldn't do any good for his hair and how it might give him more morning tangles (knowing well that you yourself slept with your hair loosely tied). Yet, with tender care, you gently massaged the palms of his hands, hoping to bring him back to the present, back to you.
And he came back to you, blinking his lovely onyx eyes as they lightly widened at the sight of you in your nightgown, sitting right next to him, his hand in your grasp as you cooed him back to safety.
No words were truly exchanged; that was for the morning routine. So, for then, the two of you simply settled back into his bed. His hand never left your own as you slowly placed it onto your chest, just where your heart would be.
Your heart beat, calm and strong, lulled him into a dreamless sleep.
...
(A/N): As I was writing this, you fuckers kept blowing up my phone with the amount of likes you were giving my shit. Like damn, I see now we have some early risers here. Goddamn.
I have such a headache rn it's not even funny.
The idea of being a Gojo-detector is rather humorous, isn't it?
Wonder what Geto dreamt about that had him so distressed. Is it the start of something or just your everyday PTSD?
Drop a comment
Feel free to buy me a 🦩
Hope you enjoyed!
Edited: 7/24/2023
665 notes · View notes
rogersideup · 2 months
Text
。°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini ♊︎ ✩ °。
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Chapter four
Pink Peonies
Series masterlist
Previous part: expendable next part: Rearview
Word count: 7,972
Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts, anxiety, and sever depression.
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The week leading up to your final evaluation was nothing short of absolutely miserable.
Between losing Steve and Bucky, the only two people that made the compound a bearable place for you, fully processing your breakup with Harvey, and the stress that came along with such an important test made you feel like you were completely lost.
You showed up to work and private training like a good little agent regardless of how much internal pain you felt looking at Steve's face. You endured the two hours of uncomfortable silence with him after enduring working alongside Harvey for 5 hours, then went to the gym and worked out to make sure you stayed prepared and in tip top shape for evaluation.
But once your day was done and you were left to your own devices, it felt like you were shattering and crumbling between the walls of reality.
You could barely eat with the constant stomach ache you've had since Friday night, you could barely sleep through the sheer amount of racing thoughts in your head or the pain of your heart that felt physically broken, and in the morning you barely got yourself out of bed.
Showering and brushing you teeth felt like fighting a war, drinking water might as well have been an Olympic sport, your hair stayed up in a bun or a ponytail because doing anything more than brushing it wasn't in the cards for you.
The highlight of your day recently had been a phone call from Jane and Luca around 6:30pm, it was simple but still enough to keep you going. Your sister fed you just enough encouragement to get to your evaluation, and your nephew was just adorable enough to put a smile on your face even if it was short lived. They encouraged you to keep going, and promised they would be there for you on evaluation day.
It was a graduation of some sorts. Agents got to have close friends and family come watch and support them on the test day, and you we're looking forward to them finally getting to be in the compound with you.
However, all the happiness of Luca getting to live his dreams of seeing the Avengers compound was clouded with anxiety about Steve. You knew he would see his favorite superhero, and you knew there was absolutely nothing you could do to keep that from happening. But you were unwilling to not have your favorite little human not at such a monumental achievement in your life.
Luca watching you become an official, fully operable agent was important to him, almost more than it was to you. So you just hoped and prayed that Steve would react kindly to him, and your sister would react kindly towards Steve after knowing everything that happened between you two. For your sake and the five year old's, you needed everyone to just momentarily pretend like everything is alright.
The night before the big day had you in shambles. Your hands had been shaking with anxiety all day long, and as every minute passed and got closer to evaluation day, the anticipation killed you a little less slowly and a lot more aggressively.
You tried everything you could to calm your nerves. The animated movie illuminating your living room was going by unwatched, the comforting bowl of pho you got yourself was getting colder and less enjoyable with every individual noodle you convinced yourself you had to eat, and the quick shower you needed to take turned from a 10 minute task to a 45 minute one. You couldn't convince yourself to get in, then once the hot water rushed against your body with a comforting pressure, you couldn't convince yourself to get out.
Eventually the walls of your apartment felt like they were swallowing you whole, and no nook or cranny could provide you enough peace to calm your mind. So you threw on a big hoodie and grabbed a blanket before walking the halls until making it outside of the high tech building and onto the lawn.
You found a perfect spot tucked away by the building, it was clear enough out to see all of the stars twinkling in the night sky, and the moon was big and bright. So you laid out your blanket, and laid out on the underneath the night sky.
Rather than letting all of your thoughts and all of the new changes in your life scare you, you tried to slow them down and think through them logically. You thought about everything Steve said to you, what his feelings for you meant and how they affected what you thought you once knew about him and what they meant for you in the future.
You thought about how Harvey was probably going to fail his evaluation tomorrow, and how he would proceed after the fact. Would he give up working for Shield, or would he try again come next evaluation day?
You tried your hardest to avoid thinking about Bucky, because the situation with him was a new kind of pain. The platonic love you had for him was immeasurable, and day by day you found it harder to not forgive him. Because when it came down to it, you understood why he told Steve about your one time escapade. But for as long as Steve was upset, you knew it wasn't worth trying to mend your friendship with Bucky.
Rather than trying to run away from all of the hurt in your heart, the stars and the moon encouraged to you sit in those feelings for awhile. You got about 20 minutes into accepting them for what they were and working through them without pushing them away.
A few tears rolled down your cheeks, but you accepted those too. Instead of wiping them off your face, you just let them drip off the bottom of your jaw with the understanding that they would dry when they were ready.
Footsteps and booming laughter approaching from a distance made you sit up instead of laying flat on your back, not wanting to worry the people about to walk though the area. You tucked your knees to your chest and hugged your legs while continuing to watch an occasional lonesome cloud slowly pass by in the dark sky.
All of the grounding work you did to try and calm your mind and ease your broken heart was reversed as the laughter and footsteps came closer, and you started to recognize the people that the voices belong to. And sure enough, they came into eyesight faster than the universe allowed you to walk away.
Steve and Bucky turned the corner, and they were obviously very happy. Their laughter over what you assumed was an inside joke you were never included in didn't falter. Their happiness and humor felt insensitive at the moment, there was a split moment where you couldn't fathom that they were so jovial at time where you haven't genuinely smiled in almost a week.
You curled yourself up smaller and held your breath, hoping they wouldn't notice you or your slow falling tears. Though you were quiet, made yourself small, and sat in the dark on the grass furthest from the concrete path, they were trained to sense other people around them.
As if you had greeted them first they both stopped at the same time, their laughter fading just to give a friendly greeting to whoever was sitting out there. Only when they looked at you did you try to subtly wipe your tears and unblock your nose. With the hood of your jacket over your head, you could tell it took them a moment to recognize it was you.
You could see the very second your identity dawned on them, both of their shoulders fell and Bucky's face looked apologetic. Steve looked at his watch before looking at you.
As if you knew it was going to happen, your eyes met the grass before you let them look into his. You hadn't made eye contact with him since the initial argument, and you knew that killed him slowly and painfully.
They could both tell you were hurt, but especially Steve. Every single day he's seen you at work you looked just a little worse. It was as if you were slowly deteriorating from the person he once knew. Your big bright eyes where now dull and your eyelids were heavy, your pink cheeks were pale, your energy had sunken in.
"The sprinklers go off in two minutes." Steve told you.
Not expecting either of them to actually say anything to you, your brain couldn't process his words.
"What?" You questioned, looking up at Bucky in confusion, still refusing to look at Steve.
"The lawn gets watered every night at 10pm. It's 9:58." Bucky explained, his tone of voice was apologetic with a hint of empathy. "The sprinklers turn on in 2 minutes."
"Oh..." You understood, feeling disappointed that you had to move. "Thanks."
Expecting them to walk away, you stood up and grabbed your blanket off the grass. But when you turned around, they were both still standing there. Both still staring at you.
You moved onto the path, and they still stood there and stared. Not understanding their intentions, you cocked your head to the side and raised a challenging eyebrow.
"Excuse me?" You questioned, requesting them to stop blocking the path so you could get home and far away from them.
"Are you okay?" Bucky asked.
"Just peachy" You responded simply, pushing past their two bodies to walk along the path.
They started walking behind you, all three of you needing to get to the same elevator. Your body and mind filled with dread, hoping and praying they weren't going to follow you in and get in the same elevator as you. But just in case they were, you tried your hardest to stop crying. You were far too stubborn to let them get a rise out of you.
"You don't seem very Peachy." Bucky said. You could hear the pout and genuine concern in his voice. "We still care about you, Bug. We're worried about you."
"Don't call me that." You sadly shook your head. "And maybe speak for yourself."
Steve sighed at your comment, and you missed the way he tossed his head back trying his hardest to remain composed. He felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. Of course he cared about you, of course he was worried, but he was also mad and didn't want his words to be misconstrued as him trying to make advances towards you.
Bucky backhandedly smacked Steve's chest, trying to get him to say something. You heard the impact, and tried not to smile at Bucky trying his hardest to make it better.
As suddenly Bucky found out that Steve had feelings for you, he started recognizing that you also had very deeply suppressed feelings for him too. The difference was that you pushed them down because your heart was so disconnected from your soul from the amount of torment you went through on a daily basis. Your confidence had never been lower, you genuinely believed you weren't worthy of love, and no part of your heart was open enough to let in or accept that anyone could ever care for you the same way you did for other people.
The compound wasn't good for you, and he knew they made it worse. He wanted to fix it, he wanted both of his best friends to be happy.
"I care about you too, 306." Steve mumbled, hoping it wouldn't back fire.
You just kept walking, trying to blink back the new rush of tears in your eyes and noting that the sprinklers did really turn on at 10 o'clock.
"Why are you out here so late? You have a big day tomorrow." Bucky noted. "I know you're upset and rightfully mad at us, but I'll be there cheering you on tomorrow. No matter what happens I'm always rooting for you."
"Are you sure that's not going to make things weird?" You sassed, but your comment wasn't directed towards him. It was meant for Steve, and he felt the bitterness in every word.
Once again, you heard Bucky's metal hand make harsh contact with Steve's chest. This time it was accommodated with a small 'oof' but he had nothing to say in response to that comment.
"You're going to do great." Bucky said.
You reached the door to the lobby and Steve rushed to the handle to open it, but you got to it before he did, pulling it open and walking through, letting each of the boys hold it open for themselves.
"Thanks." You accepted.
A thick and uncomfortable silence took over as they followed you to the elevator, waited for the doors to open, then the three of you got into the small confined space together.
The silence was so intense that they could hear your tiny sniffles, and you nearly bumped Steve with your elbow as you rushed to wipe away a tear.
They rode it up to your floor first since they lived 3 floors above you, and you felt immediately relief as it stopped on your floor and the doors slid open once more.
Steve's heart thumped so hard he could hear the rush of blood in his ears. He knew this was his last chance to say something before your big day, and he knew he would kick himself if he didn't.
"Good luck." Steve offered with an artificial tight lipped smile. "It'll be easy for you, promise."
As if he said nothing at all, you got off completely unaffected by his words.
"We love you!" Bucky shouted as the doors closed behind him.
You got back to your place and bolted the locks behind you, not even letting yourself begin to unpack that interaction before diving straight into your bed and willing yourself to sleep.
Unfortunately, the morning came way too fast. Your phone was flooding with notifications from your out of state friends and family wishing you well on your big day. And as you slid into your uniform, and did your hair and makeup, you started receiving texts that your support had arrived to the compound.
Making the walk down to the training room and getting checked in was the scariest part. Once everything was set in place and you were waiting for your evaluation to start, you stretched out your arms, legs, and back while looking out into the crowd of your colleagues friends and family.
Surprisingly, you were feeling pretty good. You spotted your Mom and Dad, Sister and Brother in law, Luca all sitting clumped together. Sitting with them was Bucky and Natasha, who also brought along Tony who sat with sunglasses on and a face so straight while he pretended like he wasn't there.
Then walked in Steve, him and Commander Bennett, and Agent Maria Hill were the three leaders who graded each agent on their final and most important test.
The grading system was simple. It was pass or fail, with a note explaining why.
You could hear Luca's little voice through the small crowd of people when Steve walked in wearing his suit. His tiny little voice projecting the announcement that "Oh my gosh CAPTAIN AMERICA IS HERE!" Was just too damn cute for anyone to ignore. It earned lots of laughs from everyone in the room, and it brought a big smile to Steve's face.
Of course he immediately knew who that voice belonged to, but that didn't stop him from finding him in the crowd and waving at him. He understood why you loved the kid so much, he was just about the cutest thing Steve had ever seen.
He noticed Luca looking at you after he waved at him, so he looked at you too. You had a big smile on your face just for five year old who was bouncing with excitement, but Steve could tell the difference between your genuine happiness and the fake smile smeared on your lips.
Eventually the evaluation started. Agents were tested 5 at a time, all running the same sort of obstacle course and shooting test. By the end of each evaluation, it seemed as though each agent was struggling to catch their breath while dripping sweat. A few of them even sprawled out on the floor the second they crossed the finish line.
But you? When you finished your evaluation Steve noticed you were barely panting. Not a hair on your head was out of place, your makeup was still perfect, he couldn't even spot a single bead of sweat along your hairline.
He knew it would be easy for you, he practically passed you before you were even properly evaluated, but the way you were almost unaffected by the rigorous testing and walked away from it without batting an eye was even impressive to him.
The worst thing Steve took away from this, was the understanding of how deeply down bad he was for you. Because even in the midst of the pain of hurting each others feelings, he was immensely proud of you, and never found you more attractive than in this moment.
Because even as you walked up to the three assessors to collect your results, you still refused to look him in the eye. Although his feelings for you were completely misunderstood, he respected the way you held your ground in order to protect yourself and what you believe in.
It was a big improvement from the way you let Harvey drag you along through miles of mud and utter bullshit.
When you looked down at your papers, a very humble, yet genuine smile took over this time, and Steve was happy to see it. You didn't even bother reading the notes that were written for you before walking away quickly to unite with your family.
Steve watched from afar as your parents embraced you both at the same time. Your mom left kisses on your cheeks, your dad the top of your head. With no hesitation, your sister who had your kind eyes and familiar beauty joined the hug, followed by your brother in law, then Luca who tried his hardest but just ended up with his arms embracing your legs.
He couldn't help but to smile as you bent down and picked up the 5 year old, he flopped upside down before you lifted him up and over your head to sit on your shoulders. His belly laugh bounced off the smooth walls as he reached down and grabbed your cheeks, tipping your head upwards to look at him.
"Can I meet Captain Rogers?" He asked.
In an instant, your authentic smile turned plastic. "Who?" You joked.
Steve stood a little straighter, then made awkward momentary eye contact with your dad. Steve died a little on the inside when he politely motioned asking him to come here, presumably to meet Luca, but a part of him wondered if he had heard the news of what happened between him and his daughter. Keeping a professional face, he did consider that he was about to get his ass kicked by the man who created you.
"Look, Luca, he's coming over now!" Your dad announced.
"Oh, what a joy!" Your sister smiled wide, squeezing your arms and shaking you around a bit.
Okay, Sister definitely knows.
One deep breath for you and Steve, and your brave faces were on.
"Congratulations, Agent." Steve spoke firmly as he approached. "You did great, far beyond expectations."
"Thank you, Captain." Just like that, you made eye contact with him for the first time in a week. It was a testament to deep love you had for your family, but especially for Luca. You'd be damned if you crushed his tiny superhero loving heart, so you did your best to pretend like everything was perfectly normal. Luckily, five year olds can't see lingering pain deep behind your eyes like Steve could. "This is Luca, he's very excited to meet you. He was wondering if you would take a picture with him."
"Hey buddy! I've heard so much about you!" Steve's smile widened at the boy who was in absolute shock, staring right back at him with wide sparkly eyes and a slack jaw. "I heard you're going to join the Avengers soon, is that true?"
"I'm only 5!" The boy giggled.
"What?! You look strong enough to be an Avenger!" Steve enthused, "let me see how strong you are, give me a high-five."
Steve stuck his arm up over your head, and your nephew smacked his hand as per request. After hearing their two hands meet in the middle, Steve pulled his away and shook it off "oh yeah, we definitely have a future superhero on our hands."
"My mommy and daddy said I have to be a teenager before I can be an agent like Auntie." Luca explained.
"They sound very smart." Steve chuckled at the boy who was wise beyond his years. "Is this them?"
Wonderful. Of course Steve would be the man to introduce himself to your family completely unprompted. You watched him shake hands with your dad, sister and her husband, meanwhile your mom went for a full blown hug. In that moment you wanted to shrivel up and let the floor swallow you whole, maybe rip your mom away and correct her mistakes for the improper greeting to such a highly decorated service man. But Steve took it like a champ, and you knew he loved it, which made you want to rip him away and tell him to stay away from your mom for the rest of eternity. You wanted him to stay away from you for the rest of eternity.
Looking around for Bucky and Nat, maybe even Tony, shit, even Harvey to try and get you out of your own personal hell was wildly unsuccessful. The room was far too busy and disorderly to plot an escape plan before your Dad was shoving Steve next to you and Luca with a camera in your face telling you to say cheeeeeeeeessseeeee.
Hopefully your smiling face didn't come across as vicious as it felt when that photo was inevitably plastered across social media for the entirety of the internet to see.
Eventually you managed to peel Luca and your Dad away from Steve and herd your family around the compound and up to your apartment. As you were leaving you could see Harvey with his head down, yet all of his browbeater friends were celebrating around him. It made you roll your eyes, but once again you moved on for the sake of your family.
As you approached the door with your key in hand and family behind you, there was a big, beautiful fresh flower arrangement in front of it with a card. Your mom made some comments about how beautiful it was as you picked it up and let them inside.
You had a feeling you already knew who it was from, so you left it on the kitchen counter and decided to read the card later as you vowed to spend much needed quality time with your family.
Although the beginning of the day was emotionally exhausting, the rest of the day felt like a big breath of fresh air. Spending time with your family in your own home made the compound feel so much warmer than it ever has. A good meal, lots of laughter, and so much play time with the little one had your parents exhausted and shuffling out of the compound around 7pm after more hugs and lots of kisses.
That left Luca and his dad that we're both fast asleep on the living room rug as the TV played a Disney movie, and Jane who was sitting across from you on the couch.
"I can feel you staring at me." You looked over at her with a questioning tone.
She had a loving smile on her face. "I'm proud of you. You've turned into such an incredible woman right in front of my eyes, and I'm just so grateful that I get to look up to my own little sister. How many people can say that?"
"Well, I still look up to you everyday." You denied her complement, but she was still looking at you as if there was more she had to say.  "Cut to the chase."
"You've spent a lot of time crying on my couch, I need to talk about the boy." She stated.
"Which one?" You grumbled. "I hate that there's 3 options."
"Steve." She said sympathetically. "I get to call him that because he hurt my baby sister's feelings."
"At least you didn't hug him." You shrugged. "Kind've don't care about respecting titles anymore."
"I know how much he hurt you, and I know he jumped the gun and is treating you unfairly compared to Bucky. I even know that you feel like your whole friendship with him was just his attempt at trying to sleep with you, but Smalls..."
"Don't say it." You plugged your ears and sunk deeper into the couch cushions.
Jane reached out and ripped your hands away from your ears. "The way he looks at you is just so sweet. And the way he was so kind to all of us and Luca even though you two aren't on speaking terms says a lot about his character. He's head over heels for you."
"The way he looks at me?" You scoffed. "He looks at me like an asset because he wants me to join the Avengers. They all see me like a little worker ant that's going to pick up the weight of their jobs."
"No, that's not it." You sister denied. "You know the truth and you're pushing him away because he hurt you. You hurt him too, even if you didn't mean it. I can see it in his body language that he cares for you, he seemed nervous for you today, and he looked so happy when you did well. That's not someone who's just trying to sleep with you and run."
"Well even if that's the truth, it doesn't matter because he's never expressed any of that to me with his own mouth." You explained. "You know how he handled the situation was wrong, he had no right to come at me with an attitude like that. Him and Bucky had no right to put all the blame on me. If he's having big feelings, he can express them with his big boy words. I'm not going to play a stupid little game with him like we're teenagers."
"I understand, and you're right." Jane validated your emotions. "But he seems really sweet... and he's absolutely gorgeous so maybe you should just consider my point of view."
"Ugh, his gorgeousness starts going blind to your eyes after a few hours. You get used to it, that's not a reason to forgive him." You lied.
"Who are the flowers from?" She quipped, knowing you lied straight through your teeth.
"I don't know."
"Should we read the note?"
"Nope." You looked straight forward at the TV screen. "That's not a question I need answered right now."
"Smalls..."
"What?"
"His gorgeousness never gets old, does it?" She called out your lie.
“... no." You threw your head back in complaint.
Eventually the three of them left as well. The day was getting late and Luca was exhausted from so much excitement, but the second you were alone in your apartment again you felt the weight of the compound right back on your shoulders.
Anxiety bloomed deep in your stomach and crawled up to your heart as you dragged your feet over to the flower arrangement that was left untouched on your counter. Your fingers struggled to open the card, but you got there eventually.
Before you even got to the note, you noticed that the arrangement was made of your favorite flower, pink peonies.
The entirety of your relationship with Harvey, he only bought you flowers once and it was after an explosive argument. Steve and Bucky came over the next day, and without fail both of them barked out a laugh at the flowers he had chosen because they weren't even your favorite kind of flower.
You didn't necessarily remember even disclosing your favorite flowers to them, yet they always referenced the bouquet of sad looking yellow chrysanthemums from the grocery store. Of course you reminded them that the type of flower or where he got them from didn't matter to you, it was just the effort and the gesture. The boys were fast to shut that sentiment down, because really, the pretty pink peonies weren't that hard to obtain, so how he managed to mess that up too was beyond your chivalrous best friends.
It didn't take long before you opened up the card inside and recognized the handwriting on it. There was an obvious effort made as it was written neatly and the lines were nice and straight.
Congratulations, Agent!
      We're all so proud of you and everything you've accomplished through hard work and dedication. We've been keeping an eye on you, and we know this journey has been difficult regardless of how easy you made it look. Watching you grow from a rookie to the highest ranking Agent Shield has ever seen has been a privilege to say the least. Although you're skillful in battle and combat, your kind heart and determination that never faltered through the journey is what will get you far. We see all the amazing qualities that make you not just a great fighter, but a great person. We could always use more people like you, and we're here whenever you're ready. From the bottom of our heart, we hope you consider a place on our team once more.
With warm regards and no pressure,
Steve + Bucky, The Avengers.
(Okay, maybe a little bit of pressure.)
You put the letter down, not allowing yourself to break down and over analyze the potential double meaning behind each of the words. The ache pounding at the back of your skull was already a nuisance, and trying to figure out why the boys were being so nice to you after treating you so poorly and denouncing your friendship was bound to make the dull ache sharper.
You dragged your feet all the way to bed before flopping in and wrapping yourself up into the tightest, fuzzy blanket cocoon.
Even with your accomplishment today, tomorrow was your first day as an official agent, and there was more work to be done.
Just like there would be the next day, and Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday....
Well, Monday through Thursday were pretty uneventful. You dug your head into the new work assignments you got now that you didn't have normal agent training, and you loved every second of it. It was worth all of your blood, sweat and tears to get there. Then you moved on to individual training with Steve that you painfully wished could be over soon.
All week you let him talk at you, and you never verbally responded. Just as much as you didn't want to be there, you could tell he didn't want to be there either. Today the two of you just sat as he showed and explained to you the different kinds of restraints you would be seeing out in the world on missions, then he would put them on himself and show you how to get out of them.
Deep regret was the only emotion you could use to describe the feeling of saying you would finish off your last few weeks with him working through your biggest fear. It seemed like a good idea two weeks ago when you still had full trust and confidence in him, but now he was flailing ropes, zip ties and handcuffs in your face while you sat completely silent, hoping your face wasn't giving away how unsettled you truly felt by this.
Maybe it would've been better if his voice wasn't so low or monotone, maybe if he actually had changed into gym clothes instead of sitting on the floor in his well put together office outfit you would feel less intimidated.
The only words that made you feel less uncomfortable today was that he wouldn't have you practicing any of this until tomorrow. But his words sat heavily on your mind and made your hands shake all throughout the rest of your day, they made you lose sleep that night, pulled your mind away from work the day of, and made the brain noise so loud that you had to listen to music in your headphones to keep your anxiety to a manageable level just to get yourself to even walk to training again.
Trying your absolute hardest not to think about what was about to happen, you looked down at your own two feet and counted each step as you made the walk, and let the melody of your favorite song distract you from reality.
Unfortunately your music wasn't loud enough to drown out the sounds of your name being called from behind you in the hallway empty besides you and one of three people you really didn't want to see.
So, you tried your hardest to ignore the tormenting happening behind you.
"I know you can hear me, stop being a bitch." Harvey's voice cut through the peaceful music.
"Stop walking I'm trying to talk to you."
"Baby, please. It'll only take a minute."
"I swear to fucking god!" This time he shouted and grabbed your arm, yanking it as hard as he could. An excruciating pain through your shoulder manifested as a yelp and your feet stoped in their place. Keeping hold of your wrist, Harvey used his other forearm to dig into your collarbones and shove you against the wall, using his body to cage you in. "Don't walk away when I'm trying to talk to you."
He ripped one of your AirPods out of your ears and stomped it with his foot. "What the fuck do you want?" You questioned, hoping and praying the pain in your shoulder that was radiating down your arm was nothing but a short term reaction to his assault on your body.
"You blocked my phone number, you ignore me when I try to talk to you in person. How am I ever supposed to get through to you?" He scolded, getting all up in your face as an intimidation tactic.
"You're not supposed to." You sassed. "That's the point. Will you let me go now? You're going to make me late."
"Did you pass evaluation?" He asked.
"I'll tell you if you let me go."
"Of course you did." He got even closer and his voice louder. The whole font of his body was pressing into yours, creating an uncomfortable vice between him and the wall. "You never would've passed had it not been for your scheduled time to jerk off Captain Rogers every day."
"Is that what you're telling yourself to feel better about your failed assessment?" You asked, exhausted of the narrative that your success only came at the mercy of the men around you.
"Why would you think I failed?"
"Because you're sloppy, you don't take your job or the training seriously, you've spent more of you energy worrying about me more than yourself, oh, and your uniform still has the rookie patch on it." You let your words flow out of you like venom. Frankly, you didn't care if it upset him, traveled through his blood and left a toxic taste in his mouth.
Your shoulder was killing you, you were tired and angry, and in the middle of an argument with two grown men over the fact that you quite literally did not jerk Steve off. So yeah, you weren't going to bat your eyelashes and smile at a man who had you pinned against a wall.
Harvey was speechless for a moment, so you continued. "So, I don't think you failed, I know you failed. And I didn't only pass because of Steve. He helped me, but I was doing well before him and I'll continue to do well after him."
You used all your force to shove Harvey off of you, in a moment of shock from your words and behavior, he stumbled back. Then, he was angry all over again.
He tried to throw a punch right at your jaw, but you blocked it, and kicked him right in the stomach. Not hard enough to intend to hurt him, but hard enough to knock him off of his feet and flat on the ground.
With a groan and some struggle, he tried to get up. So you left your foot flat on his stomach as a statement. It quickly got him to stay down.
"Don't you ever try to contact me again. Not through my phone, not to my face, never." You practically growled, still trying to make sure he couldn't tell that he had caused you pain.
Once you were positive that you got your point across, only then did you remove your foot from his body, pick up your broken AirPod to keep as evidence, then start walking away.
“Everyone knows what you and Sargent Barnes did." His voice sounded from behind you.
You stopped in your tracks, oxygen momentarily leaving your lungs. "What exactly did Sargent Barnes and I do?" You asked while keeping a stern face, hoping it was all the same rumors that float around about you and Steve.
"I don't even have to tell you, because you already know what you did." Harvey denied your peace of mind. "Now I know what everyone else knows to. I should've never trusted that you were just friends with both him and Captain Rogers, and that you're the biggest slut in this place."
This time you really did walk away, ignoring his last attempts at getting you to bite into his bait by calling you a whore from his spot in the hallway unable to peel himself off of the ground.
Once he couldn't see you anymore, tears flooded your eyes but you couldn't tell of it was from the physical or emotional pain, and your gripped your shoulder trying to rationalize that you didn't need to go to the medical bay.
The last thing you wanted to do now was see Steve, but you hoped he would go easy on you considering the circumstances.
Your faith in his ability to be a kind and empathetic person completely faltered as your pushed through the doors to the gym and he was already angry at you.
"You're late." He told you sternly, his face was set in a disappointment.
You swallowed the lump in your throat and squeezed your shoulder, hoping the added pressure would help sooth your pain.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be late. I was on time then Ha-" You started explaining, looking at him with fear and tears in your eyes.
"I don't need an excuse." Steve grumbled, cutting you off and very obviously in a foul mood.
He started walking towards you with a rope in his hand, and your heart dropped to your stomach. "Wait, please just- I was on my way here but Harv-"
"I don't care, it's fine." Steve cut you off again. "We're already behind on time, let's just start."
He got close enough to touch you, and you instinctively took a big step back, but it didn't even phase Steve. He grabbed your hand off your shoulder and put it behind your back. Bracing yourself for the pain of him inevitably grabbing your other arm, you frantically let the words "he hurt me" Spill out of your mouth like vomit.
But it didn't come out fast enough, and before you knew it, both of your arms were behind your back and the pain shooting through your arm combined with the devastating realization that Steve didn't care about you anymore made you feel like you were going to be sick.
You could feel the rope around your wrist becoming uncomfortably tight, each knot he tied added another knot to your stomach. "Zero percent."
"What?" He questioned.
Your tears spilled over the edge. "Zero percent trust in you right now. Please stop and just listen to me for one second."
"You're only saying that because you're scared of the restraints." Steve rationalized. "I showed you how to get out, you'll be fine."
"You don't understand" You cried, feeling more and more unsettled by the second, a deep panic settling in your stomach. "Please, I'm trying to tell you what just happened and you aren't listening to me"
He finished up the knot then turned around to face you again. "This is the first time you've tried to even have a conversation with me in two weeks, why should I hear you out when you won't even begin to let me speak to you?"
Steve sat you down on a chair, and started tying your feet. Everything in you told you to fight it, but you were feeling unexpectedly scared of him. You knew you could never match his strength to fight off his efforts and you could never outrun him.
Your friend Steve was nowhere to be found, in front of you was only a dark and stormy Captain America. A weapon of a man with no intention of switching on the safety.
By unintentionally denying his affection towards you two weeks ago, you loaded him up and now the barrel was was pointed directly at your chest. Now, there was no empathy for your fear, no husbandry to make you feel more comfortable in a situation you told him you never wanted to be in, and no regard to what you just went through.
"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to tell you now because odds are you're going to hear about it eventually because-"
"Okay then I'll hear about it when it gets back to me. We really need to get this going" He told you. "Just calm down, and try to get out how I showed you yesterday."
"You're mad at me, and I get that, but I need my boss right now." You cried, yanking at the ropes on your wrists and ankles, none of them budging.
"I'm not your boss anymore, I haven't been since you passed evaluation." He told you, setting a timer on his phone for 54 minutes. "I only have an hour for training today because I was double booked. I'm going to leave you here to calm yourself down and figure out how to get out. I'll be right back there, either come get me when you're out, or I'll untie you at the end of the hour if you can't do it."
"Steve, don't walk away from me right now, I'm trying to tell you I need a medic." You said frantically, your panic attack hitting you harder by the second.
"Out on a mission we don't get to pick and choose when we get held hostage, consider this extra practice." He started to walk off.
You felt pathetic as your lungs stung with every panting breath, your hands shook as your fingers tried their hardest to untie the knot Steve made sure to pull extra tight, your stomach churned with uncontrollable fear, and your heart thumped so strongly and passionately that you could hear it in your ears despite the physical pain you felt in chest.
Whenever you had panic attacks, your skin broke out in a red splotchy tint, and the world seemed to spin around like a bad case of vertigo. It felt like the floor beneath you was crumbling and cracking with every moment passing, as the walls slowly closed in and the ceiling came down.
Black fuzzies and watery tears altered your vision as you pushed past the pain and tried to get your hands free. It only took about 15 minutes before the rope fell to the floor and the circulation rushed back to your hands. Untying your feet was a lot easier with two free hands, but still mildly difficult with Steve's knot tying skills and the sharp sting in your shoulder every time you exerted your arm.
You got out, you never doubted that you could. But that was never the point, and Steve would've known that had he ever just listened to you. That only fueled your panicked rage as you grabbed the ropes off the floor and stomped over to him, sitting in the very back corner of the gym watching you with a blank look on his face.
The thick ropes smacked the floor right next to his legs, exactly where you aimed as you snapped them out of your hands. "I have no interest in completing the rest of the hour you so graciously gifted me, and absolutely no interest in training with you ever again."
Steve was taken back by the fiery rage that was being directed at him. He knew he was being hard on you, but he was only being hard on you because he thought you could take it. "Woah, hold on. Let's just take a breather for a second."
"No, I don't need a fucking breather, you dipshit." You shouted at him, tears still flowing, hands still shaking. "I need to go see the doctor, that's what I need and that's what you're not understanding. I needed you to listen, I needed you to understand that I wasn't trying to get out of the lesson. I wasn't scared of your fucking ropes, I was scared of Harvey, and now I'm scared of you."
Steve immediately felt awful as your hand found your shoulder again, now that he was getting a better look he could tell it definitely wasn't in the right place. He gulped understanding that he let his pre-existing bad mood deepen the hole he dug your friendship into. "I'm sorry I didn't realize..."
"Now it's my turn to not care." You cried. "I didn't lose trust in you before, not even after you came into my apartment and yelled at me for what I did with Bucky, maybe a little after I found out our whole friendship was just because you wanted to get into my pants. But this stunt you just pulled? You've broken every ounce of trust I've ever given you and I don't think it'll ever be repaired."
"I- I didn't mean to." He said quietly, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have been so hard on you, I'm sorry, I was in a bad mood and I just... let it out on you and it wasn't fair."
"I don't deserve to be treated like this over one mistake, Steve. One. I'm sorry I accidentally hurt you, it was never my intention and I'll regret that till the day I die but I never deserved this." You cried. "Please just leave me alone now. I don't want formalities or pleasantries in passing, I don't want anymore flowers or congratulations, I don't want anything other than to just be left alone now. Because I can't do this anymore."
"Okay, I'm sorry." He surrendered, recognizing the agony you were truly in over this.
"This was way worse than anything I ever did to you." Your voice cracked. "It's a good thing you aren't my boss anymore, because as far as you're concerned I don't even exist to you anymore."
He couldn't mutter anything close to a proper apology or even a goodbye as you stomped away from him for the very last time.
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Next Part: Rearview
OOP… angsty. Sound off in my inbox! I want to hear all your juicy opinions!
Taglist: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qualijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark @sincerelytlh @klaralovescaptainamerica @alexakeyloveloki
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gotham-daydreams · 6 months
Note
Hey there! I love your work so so much! I check your blog every day and get excited for every new post, I think your ideas and your writing is just spectacular!! I have a quick question to ask if that's alright. I was wondering what the first aid kit in this part of Not Here was implying?
"Like an airsoft gun, some glass beakers, various ties, a pair of shades, a glasses frame, and a sewing kit next to a first-aid kit? Bruce didn't want to think about how the first-aid kit both looked used, and was empty."
Is Bruce upset in a "he wasn't there when the reader was hurt" way, a "how often did they get hurt" way, or is it something else?
Also, if I recall there are some hints/notes about the reader being hurt in fights before but the family never came to help or aid them, which would make sense if that was why it would be empty. Though it does make me wonder if that means they were handling it entirely on their own, did Alfred know/help or did the reader hide it?
I think my first thought about it was a bit darker (iykwim), but I didn't want to jump the gun and assume like that so that's why I've decided to ask (just thinking out of my own experiences with depression) I don't mean to be so dark on purpose though! And I think the other possibilities are more likely anyway.
All in all I'm just a bit curious since the physical hurt the reader has endured hasn't been too expanded upon yet (at least not as much as emotional hurt) and I want to know more about it, what's happened and such :)
That's all! I hope you have an amazing day! Please take care of yourself, you're the most important thing you have!! Peace!!
Hello!
As with a few other things, I really just left it up to interpretation! Since the med kit being empty can honestly mean all of those things- even Alfred persuading the reader to hide it in some way (but that most likely didn't happen, I'll say that much). Though some injuries will be mentioned later :]
After all, the reader did a lot of activities, and participated in various sports during their time in the manor, and basically crammed in everything they could into their schedule. One way or another, they're bound to get hurt. Since even if the sports and activities they've done don't hurt them, then just the sheer amount of stuff they do in a week most likely will.
Accidents are bound to happen, mistakes will be made, and that can lead to injuries one way or another. Maybe from the action of the mistake/accident itself, or from how the reader takes it, along with their own experiences away from all of those things. Like their situation at home, or things that happen to their friends.
I will say that Alfred has helped the reader with some of their injuries at this point, especially ones that were more serious and severe. Though he isn't aware of every single injury that the reader has had. Especially if they were smaller, or just easier to hide, but there have been moments where someone else outside of the manor would notice that the reader is injured instead. Which may or may not lead to a hospital visit, and such records may or may not be mentioned later.
As for Bruce and how he thinks/feels when he first sees the kit? I'll be honest, it's a mix of what you said and some other stuff.
I mean, you come into your kid's room, and not only are they gone, but you're basically shown that they lived their whole life without you through the achievements they've earned. So when you look for them and find that used, empty med-kit? You start to think about what the walls don't show. To think about the journey your kid went through to get to those points, where they were earning awards for the things they did. Bruce was anyway, and I suppose that, just something as small as the med-kit, was already causing him to think about that a little too much.
After seeing the med-kit, the fact that awards only show the end of one's journey to get that particular achievement, won't stop nagging at Bruce. He thinks of the possible hardships you've had to face, and what on God's green Earth has caused you to not only have a med-kit in your room, and hidden away, but also have it be used and empty.
It makes him wonder if it was the only kit you've used, or one of many. And as much as he doesn't want to think about it, the ladder makes sense seeing everything you've participated in, and just how messy you're schedule must've been from running around, and trying to do everything to the point where you got an award for it.
He knows accidents can happen, and where mistakes can lead someone. So just as he's about to think about it- he pulls away. Deciding that now isn't the best time to wonder about something like that, so he refocuses himself.
Though for that brief moment, he does wonder about how often the reader has gotten hurt, along with that fact that he was never there- but also never even knew about it. The possibility never crossed his mind until now, and like the awards and medals on the walls, he's only seeing the end result. The med-kit being used, empty, and possibility one of many you've gone through.
And he saw none of it. Wasn't even aware of any injuries you've had in the past or present, until he started searching for you.
Instead, he finds out through a small little kit, that was tucked away to the far end of a closet, as if trying to hide itself. It tries to pull him in with it's implications, but he pulls away before much can be done, before he can think of it anymore. Before he can realize that Alfred hasn't told him much about injuries the reader has gotten. How that could imply that the reader hid them, and took care of their injuries instead. Which would then bring on a whole new kind of worry, regret, and panic to Bruce.
The thought would eat him alive if he hadn't pulled away. He knows that much.
So generally, it's a mixed bag! The med-kit alone makes Bruce wonder about what you mentioned, along with how he wasn't told that the reader got hurt, and what that could mean.
How the reader has gotten hurt is left up to interpretation, but certain injuries they've gotten in the past from certain things will be mentioned- however! If anything happened inbetween such events, or beyond what is mentioned, is up to you! :]
Alfred has helped the reader with their injuries before, but isn't aware of every injury they've gotten. Though, that sometimes did lead to other people outside of the Manor noticing instead, which may or may not have landed the reader in the hospital sometimes. Which also may or may not mean that the reader has a record of some injuries they've had in the past.
Though, yeah! The med-kit was implying that the reader has indeed gotten hurt before and such. :]
I hope this answered your question!
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adventuringblind · 7 months
Text
Picking at my Sins
Oscar piastri x reader
Genre: Angst, smut?
Summary: Reader comes from a religious background and struggles with self worth. Oscar is there to pick up the pieces.
Warnings: religious trauma, alluded to SH, panic attacks, talks of sex
Notes: mmmmmm definitely not self projecting or anything
Masterlist
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The one thing nobody teaches in church is that innocence is simply a construct in the human mind. No one is ever truly innocent. Especially those who you expect to always love and respect you. The ones who preach to always follow the rules.
They turned their back on her. A mistake that wasn't even hers led to her entire church turning their backs on her. She was left to fend with nothing. Her parents were facing the same issue, only they were the ones who started it.
It was for that reason she left.
She wouldn't call herself innocent. Simply inexperienced. She knows what she would like to try but hasn't been able to do so.
She was alone for so long. A new place makes it hard to make friends. Especially since she has a religious background, people tend to immediately think the worst.
She met Oscar in October of 2022. It was cold and rainy that evening. She needed something from the store, and she didn't have a car, so she'd settled for walking in the torrential down pour.
Alcohol. She needed alcohol after a lengthy conversation with her mom that didn't end well and a ten hour shift at a job she gets minimum wage for. Then, to feed her depressed mood, she went to the nearest park with a pretty view, sat on the bench, and drank straight from the bottle.
She's not sure how long she'd been here, but it was long enough that she was shivering and drenched. The liquor barely touched. How had religion touched that, too? Why does she feel sick at the idea of putting her mouth to the bottle?
The park is deserted, and she assumes that it'll remain that way. It doesn't. And at some point, a male comes running towards her. He's probably just out for some kind of workout he can't pause even for the weather.
She assumes he'll run right by her. He doesn't. Imstead he stops to make conversation. Then he sits with her. Then they walk together to somewhere out of the rain.
That is how she found herself talking to the Australian any moment she got. It's how she made a friend who didn't care that she couldn't stomach eating food at times because it could cause imperfections. A friend who let her rant about her ridiculous situation.
Then, a friend became a lover. He asked her out in January. He asked her to that same park which they had met months earlier. He told her they didn't have to do anything quickly. That he was willing to help her figure it out. He truly saw her for who she was and wanted to continue having stupid conversations and finding weird locations to explore.
She worked through things slowly. Many panic attacks were had. The first time she dyed her hair, she cried. Her first time wearing clothes that revealed more than they should have, she also cried. She couldn't even wear them out due to the sheer amount of overwhelming feelings.
Then she left to travel with Oscar. He dragged her around the world with him. Asking nothing in return aside from loving him unconditionally and being his pillar through the stress of a rookie season.
He was so gentle through everything. Honest with her about every misconception she had about life. Reminded her daily that being herself wasn't a sin.
The one thing she hadn't been able to get past was intimacy. It is the most taboo subject to speak about in a church. Aside from hearing that it's bad unless you're married. If it happens any other way, then you'd be punished. Shunned by all. Labeled as wicked and disgusting.
Hand holding was the first step. That came pretty easy while they were friends even. Then he kissed her and she kissed back and even though she was clumsy it was amazing.
The kiss was followed by the first of many panic attacks. A nasty thing that had her wailing and clawing at her skin.
Eventually, she got past that. Though she picked up new habits that probably weren't the best. Oscar made it a point to keep her hands occupied in more productive ways. Even if it felt childish like coloring in a colorbook. They went through three of them in a month. It became a way that they both relax.
She felt herself getting more comfortable with touch after that. Even getting far enough to get clothes off.
And then she wanted to have him completely. He was so gentle through the entire thing. Always asking how she felt. The girl felt utterly clueless and fumbled with everything, but she didn't panic. Maybe it was the overwhelming feeling of love that kept those dark thoughts out of her brain.
It was a month later that it all came crashing down. Her parents had found her. They showed up at her flat while Oscar was there.
She'd never seen the Aussie so defensive. He'd always been so laid back. Until she watched him tell her parents to get out in a horrifyingly stern voice.
It didn't matter, though. The damage had already been done. They'd already yelled about how awful she'd become. The female had just hung her head and listened. It came like muscle memory.
Oscar did get them out eventually. They left in a flurry of shouts as Oscar closed the door and locked it. Then he started from square one again.
That's when the panic attacks during sex started. She couldn't stop the thoughts. They snuck up on her. One second, she was in bliss, and the next, she was trying to claw her skin off her body. The overwhelming disgust with herself seemed to set in after that.
But Oscar was there, every time. He would hold her. Get her cleaned up. Place bandages where her nails had managed to rip skin. Then he’d occupy her mind with anything far away from the topics of intimacy and sex. He’d let her initiate contact so he didn’t scare her.
Sometime, he gets asked by friends (Lando) about his personal life. Why the two aren’t often see going out together. Why she prefers to do a shot then drink mocktails for the rest of the night.
And Oscar always gives the same over used response. “Cause I’d rather see her smiling then picking herself apart over make believe sins.”
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akutasoda · 16 days
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Wanna join the 1k event- congrats on 1k too! :)
Can i request Genshin Headcanons, Kaveh and Zhongli (separately) just found out their s/o that is filthy rich? Like it does get suspicious by how things she had look quite expensive, and the gift she give also look expensive, gourmet food, buying without looking at the price, when they came to visit her parents home you know to introduce them to her parents, jaw drop, it's not just a house, IT'S A MANSION. Lots of worker greet them and assist. Heck walking down a hallway full of gold decorations, and her bathroom/bedroom is massive. Shocking of all, her parents give her millions of mora as an allowance, not letting her work because her parents want to spoil her. Also can you make s/o begging Kaveh to let her help pay off his debt because she doesn't want him to suffer in debt anymore, also because she is deeply in love with him, and the debt money amount to her looks like her pocket money
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no price tags
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synopsis - when they find out their s/o is quite wealthy
includes - zhongli, kaveh
warnings - fem!reader (no pronouns mentioned!), fluff, slight crack, wc - 940
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zhongli ★↷
↪even though he is no longer the geo archon, he still keeps a very vigilant eye on the happenings of liyue and this includes some of liyue's more notorious families - the more influential families often were included in some residents gossip at the tea house.
↪that doesn't mean he knows whose from which family. so he truly had no clue that his lover was from a very well off family. you never explicitly mentioned anything about being from such a family and he didn't really pay attention to to the kinds of things you'd brought him.
↪if anything, he greedily allowed himself to indulge in the fancy restaurants you brought him too - zhongli wasn't exactly the wealthiest surprisingly. he only really started questioning it when the price tag's seemed to forever go up.
↪eventually he'd start taking notice of the rather expensive gifts you gave him, some that no ordinary resident could possibly come by. sometimes he'd ask you how much the gifts were because he became rather concerned about how much you spent on him - he wanted you to know you didn't have to win him over with money, he loved you enough already.
↪because he never asked too much to get an answer, he would find out about your wealthy background when you invited him to meet your family. he wasn't exactly shocked per say more disappointed he couldn't put two and two together.
↪he did have to admit that you're families residence was very impressive. the amount of workers under your families name seemed excessive to him although he could kind of see why when you lead him down a seemingly never ending corridor.
↪the decorations he could easily recognise from some of the mostt renowned artists in tevyat seemed to line every hallway and room you brought him too. the more he saw, the more shocked he actually became - by the time he met you're parents he was sure he looked a little pale.
↪he soon knew exactly why you never checked the price tag when uou went out and what shocked him the most was the sheer amount of money you're parents gave you. they truly did spoil you and now he didn't feel as bad about you spending ao much money on him.
kaveh ★↷
↪kaveh didn't exactly come from a wealthy background nor was he in the ideal financial situation now. he was teying his best to get by on what little he had but his debt seemed to always hang over his head and prevent him from actually fixing his finances.
↪so it became quite new to him when he started dating you. after a while of dating he noticed how much you liked to spoil him, always gifting him gifts that he knew for sure he couldn't afford and taking him to fancy restaurants. and for a while, he did indulge himself in your affection.
↪who could blame him really? no amount of weird looks from his roomate could guilt him. however after a while it did start getting pretty suspicious - not in a bad way, he just became a bit more curious about where you actually seemed to get all this money.
↪anytime he offhandedly mentioned something, he would find himself with it the next day no matter how much it cost. a part of him was slightly envious that whenever you went out you didn't even bother looking at any price tags atleast once. eventually he did feel like he should start refusing your gifts.
↪eventually he started feeling bad about how much you were spending him but each time you assured him you could afford it and you wanted to spend it on him. he only understood when you invited him to meet your family in their residence.
↪he swore his jaw visibly dropped open when he was greeted by one of the biggest house's he'd ever seen with too many workers awaiting you at the door. a tiny part of him felt a bit subconscious about his financial situation when he compared ot to yours - especially what you're parents might think if they were this well off.
↪he was gawking at all the decorations and pure amount of space their was everywhere. it didn't matter where you took him there was prestigious decorations in large rooms and hallways that looked extremely impressive and expensive.
↪he fully understood how you had so much money when he learnt your parents gave you an allowance that equated to what was probably not even comparable to a good couple of sleep deprived months from him. he froze immediately when you turned to offer him the amount to pay off his debts.
↪he appreciated the gesture and he would gladly take the money to rid himself of his stupid debt but he felt bad. kaveh wanted to work to pay off the debt himself as it was his debt and he felt like he shouldn't be recieving that much from anyone.
↪you tried explaining to him over and over again that you loved him and wanted to do this for him, too lift a bit of pressure of his shoulders but he kept refusing you. eventually you found a small little loop hole that would make you able to pay of his debt.
↪he practically saw the mischievous glint in your eye when you started asking if he would take up a job to design a small little addition to the building that conveniently payed exactly how much he needed to pay off his debt. he knew you weren't going to let up.
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akutasoda's 1k event
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vodika-vibes · 9 days
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Hello! May I please have a Ruby for Commander Blackout or Neyo (whomever's the grumpiest lol) x female reader scenario set in Winter where he keeps hearing about her from a lot of the the shinnies and his vod gushing about how lovely and wonderful she is and it pisses him off for some reason/or he just gets sick of hearing it; until he meets her himself and then he realizes immediately what they mean and finds himself swiftly falling deeply and passionately in love with her because there's just something so bright, warm and alluring about her and he just wants her for himself. Feel free to either make it steamy/smutty or not. I'm just happy with him being super passionate with his attraction and pursuit of her and she reciprocates? And maybe they kiss? But just go with whatever inspires you the most; I know it's gonna be great whatever it is! Please and thank either way! \>v</
Brighter Than The Sun
Summary: The new IT girl at the base Neyo is Marshal Commander of is a thorn in his side, and he hasn’t met her yet. If he has to listen to one more person sing her praises, he’s not going to be responsible for what happens.
Pairing: Commander Neyo x F!Reader
Word Count: 1200
Warnings: None
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly
A/N: Hihi! I decided to go with Neyo because I love him! I also, for the first time, went over my word limit. Only by 200 words, but still. Anyway! I hope you like it!
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Neyo is not in a spectacular mood.
He woke up in a foul mood, largely due to the sheer amount of snow falling from the sky. And it only became worse when he went to check what was on the schedule for the day only to see that his datapad wasn’t working.
And then he went to the mess hall for some caf, and had to listen to a group of shinies sing the praises of the newest civvie who came to the base. They weren’t saying anything he hasn’t heard before: she’s stunning, with a body to die for, and a smile that feels like the summer sun-
Honestly, if it wasn’t for the sheer amount of paperwork it would take, he’d seriously consider stunning them and throwing them in the brig for being sheer annoyances.
Needless to say, Neyo was not in the finest of moods when his General came over to find out why he was glaring at his datapad.
And her suggestion of taking it to IT to have them take a look at it was not appreciated.
Still, Neyo is realistic. He can’t fix it, and none of his vod can fix it, which is why the base has an IT department in the first place. So he finishes his caf, and the breakfast that he’s forcing himself to eat, and he makes the long walk through the base to the IT department.
There’s only one person in the room when he arrives.
The new girl.
She’s clad in long pants and a vibrant yellow shirt that reminds him of Bly’s tattoos, and she’s standing on a desk while her arm is buried in the room’s heater.
Now that he’s paying attention to it, it is freezing in here.
He clears his throat, and the woman pauses, before she twists slightly on the table to see who’s there. She blinks at him, and then flashes a bright smile, “Marshal Commander Neyo, yes?”
He arches a single brow, “In the flesh.”
“Oh, wonderful! I’ve been hoping to-oh, hold on-” There’s the sound of something hitting something and then she rips her arm out of the heater and shakes her hand out, “Ah, well. I’ll have to try and fix it later.” She mumbles, and then she hops down from the table, and hurries over to him, a blinding smile on her face, “I’ve been hoping to meet you, but you’re a hard man to catch!”
Neyo blinks at her, stunned.
Now that he’s met her, he can understand what his brothers meant. She is stunning. And now he can’t help but think that the way his brothers talk about her is grossly inappropriate.
“Well, I’m here now.” Neyo finally says, “My datapad isn’t working.”
She holds her hand out, even her nails are painted yellow with little white flowers on them. She’s karking adorable. “May I?”
“That's why I’m here.” He presses the datapad into her hand and he watches as she moves to sit at a table overflowing with flimsy. “Are you working alone today?”
“Oh. I’m the only one who works in IT.” She replies, “The previous guy who had my position quit.”
“I…see.” Neyo pokes around the room, there are parts of the room that are very neat, but the majority of the room looks like there was an explosion. “And the heater?”
“Broken.”
“...it’s freezing outside.”
“Well. Yes.” She admits, “But I have a jacket,” She gestures to a winter jacket lying on a table nearby, “I took it off to work on the heater.”
“That’s not your job-?”
She looks up, “Um…well, apparently this base has a manning issue? Maintenance quit too.” She tilts her head, and her hair shifts enough to see that her earrings are little white flowers too. “Did you not know?”
“I don’t generally handle civilian employees.” Neyo replies. 
“Oh, that makes sense.” She messes with his datapad for a moment, “Um…you need a new datapad.” She smiles at him, “If you give me a couple of hours, I’ll get the new one for you by the end of the day.”
“Thanks.” Neyo pauses, “I’ll get one of my brothers to come and fix your heater. Can’t have our IT girl turning into an icicle.”
She flashes a blinding smile in his direction, and Neyo averts his gaze. She has no business being so pretty.
It’s the beginning of a slightly odd friendship.
Neyo finds himself in her office more and more often, it’s quiet, and his presence keeps even the most pushy of his brothers from trying to pressure her into a date. And she is good company, warm and welcoming.
It doesn’t take long before Neyo finds himself yearning for her. 
It’s almost two months later, in the middle of the worst snowstorm that he’s ever seen, when Neyo gets the chance to make a change to their relationship. He’s sitting at a free desk in her office, his feet kicked up on “his” desk, while she’s working on formatting a datapad at her desk when the lights flicker, and then cut out.
Neyo pauses and glances at the lights, and then sighs when he hears the generator kick on. The heat comes back, but the only lights that come on are the emergency lights.
“I guess the storm won,” She jokes with a quiet laugh as she sets the datapad down.
“Guess so.” Neyo tosses his datapad on the desk and leans back to look at her, “No point in even bothering to work now-” He grumbles.
“Well, you deserve a break.” She replies, and Neyo glances at her.
“You work just as hard as I do.” He drops his feet to the ground and pushes to his feet.
“Well…yes. That’s true.” She brushes some of her hair out of her face, “But, well, let’s be honest. It’s not like I can hang out with anyone other than you. Your brothers tend to be kind of…weird, when I’m around.”
“And I’m not?”
“You’ve never made me feel like a walking steak next to a starving man-” She replies, “Not that they’ve ever done anything inappropriate, before you fly off the handle. I can manage a few uncomfortable looks.”
Neyo sighs, “I hoped that they would stop.”
“It’s fine, really. I’ve been dealing with looks like that since I was nine.”
“...that’s sickening.”
“That’s being a woman.” She smiles at him, “Anyway, I guess I’ll just return to my quarters until the power comes back.” She pauses when Neyo’s hand comes out to cup her cheek, “...Commander?”
“Can I kiss you?”
He can feel her cheek heat under his hand, and he can’t stop himself from lightly stroking her cheek.
“You…want to kiss me?” She squeaks.
“I want a lot more than that, but, for now, I’ll stick with kissing. With your permission?”
“I…yes…please-”
His lips land against hers in a kiss that starts out soft and sweet and slowly grows more heated. 
And when he sits her on the edge of her desk, and moves to stand between her legs, with his lips moving to her neck to leave an obvious mark on her sensitive skin…well, he has to stake his claim somehow, right?
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evelynwinters1 · 3 months
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Yan!BSD character imagines + Yan!Fyodor oneshot at end
Dazai:
I can imagine a scene from Heathers, but instead of him finding you hanging and choosing to blow up the school only to see you alive, he would most likely abduct you and blow up the house he keeps you in with him and his delusional obsession.
Jouno:
Just give up. You are never getting out. He would find reasons to skip work if he has to. (It wouldn't matter how petty the reason) He would go lengths farther than the sun to simply stay in your presence. I can see him in an entirely different room (probably across the house even) eavesdropping on you whispering your plan of escape to yourself. How amusing.
Ranpo:
Another one you should give up escaping from. He has already deduced your plan of escape whenever and however you try to do it. He also knows where you will go if you do manage to escape and is waiting for you when you get there. I can see the reader/ yn trying to buy their escape by bribing ranpo with sweets and snacks at first, but he already seen through this method a while ago and went to go refill his stash. (Most definitely got you anything you may need with it)
P.s. I am still laughing at the thought of the cashiers face when he gets a mountain of snacks and pads/tampons and/or condoms. Shooketh!
Atsushi:
Would make sure you never suspected anything. This lovable idiot would turn full paranoid phsycopath and back again depending on if you were around or not. I can imagine him two-facing you and the detective agency. The agency sees his obsessive paranoia while you see his clingy side.
Chuuya:
Would definitely keep the anger issues (Yes. Even around you.) The main difference would be the direction of what he's angry at. The mafia - as usual. You - trying to escape. I can see a moment when you do escape, after seeing him activate his gift, you would be so terrified to leave him ever again. The sheer amount of strength it would take to not rip you in half with his gift would be immense. Very possessive. Chihuahua.
Mori:
(Now hear me out, I know that a lot of people would rather see him dead. But . . . . Yes.)
More platonic than the others, but equally as obsessive. Would make a secret room off of his main office that only him and Elise would ever know about. No one is to deliver food to you no matter how trusted the individual is. No one is to visit you other than him and Elise. No one will hear about you, let alone see you. Your very existence is hidden from everyone but Mori and Elise. I can see him putting motion sensors in front of the door to his office that notifies him when someone is near (like a ring doorbell but without the camera. He doesn't need it 'cuz no one will know about you anyway.)
Nikolai:
Would definitely have something I like to call the "house of mirrors" complex. Everything that happens to you is simply your fault. But it's completely okay because look how beautiful and special you are! Would convince you that you wanted it.
You wanted him to kidnap you, why else would you make yourself look so vulnerable? You wanted to be punished, why else would you try to leave him?
That kind of thing. A ton of gaslighting. Punish, pretend, praise, repeat.
His perfect doll.
Sigma:
Let's be honest, even as a yandere, he is still a cinnamon roll. Sure, he'll kidnap you, lock you in a room with plenty of space and light (only he would have the key), and put a chain around your ankle that the other end was bolted to the floor. But you would have a walk-in closet, a full bathroom with any necessity you could dream of, a king-sized bed (possibly a large vanity), a desk always stocked, and him.
He would give you meals that he had prepared and cooked personally. He would be at your every beck and call. It didn't matter what you needed, as long as he deemed it safe for you to have, he'd give it to you. Anything from around the world. The price didn't matter, you did.
Edgar:
His muse. Everything about you, whether it be physical or not, was enchanting to him. Even Ranpoe got jealous of his attention being on you. After all, he almost completely gave up contesting with his so-called rival. A good portion of his poems were based on his muse. He didn't need to kidnap you per sé, you waltzed in yourself. Exited that you finally tracked down your favorite author for nothing more than an autograph. (One would almost think you were the stalker)
His shyness and anxiety were key factors of him nearly panicking when he first met you. In time, however, he warmed up to you. Arguably faster than he would like to admit. You would visit him several times after finding him and try and get to know him.
I can imagine when he finally acknowledged his infatuation with you, he asks you if you could get something out of his room for him, telling you that it's a gift for you and he wants it to be a surprise. When you enter and start looking around for anything that stuck out to you, he closes and locks the door. Karl was also in the room with you to serve as both emotional support and security. But you didn't need to know that.
Fyodor:
!!warning!!: kind of cringe, written in a hurry, stalking, mentions of death, manipulation!!
For those of you who bothered to read this whole thing and reach the end, you are in for a treat. Because yandere fyodor wouldn't be as impatient as the others. Obsessed, yes. But impatient, absolutely not. The final result would collapse if he was.
He loved watching you live your daily life through the miniscule cameras he placed strategically throughout your entire house, car, even where you work. How? He has his ways. Every morale any human has tends to be abandoned when he can show the world their darkest secrets with the click of a button. Your boss was no exception. Living on your own was a pain sometimes. Most cleaning couldn't get done until about a week later because of exhaustion. Most of the time, when you got off of work, you'd simply crash in bed. As much as Fyodor loved watching you sleep, he worried a lot about you. Mainly not eating enough (if at all), and if you did, it was mainly cup noodles, canned food, or the occasional leftovers of food you bought during your break at work. He was going to wait until you nearly reached poverty. To be your savior, and casually press himself into your life and your heart. This method (according to his calculations) took the least effort, but the most time. It also raised the chance of success. When he finally gets to you, he will play innocent. He will tell you that he knew nothing about you but get you your favorites. All to paint himself as the perfect ideal man to you. Your soulmate even.
On a walk with him late at night, you both happen to run into a man you now know as Dazai. You could immediately sence Fyodor tense. He made it seem like you both were simply too focused on each other to see where you two were going and briskly guided you back home. You looked for Dazai wondering why it was fyodor tensed so quick (he never did explain why when you asked him), and you ran into him on your way to the post office where he introduced himself. He seemed a bit quirky but hilarious sometimes. That was until he asked about Fyodor. Without much thought, you told him about the start of a relationship between the two of you and how you met. Dazai looked absolutely shocked, told you about his work, where it is, and invited you to talk about 'the details' of Fyodor's identity. The two of you went your separate ways.
You came home to find it devoid of presence. Fyodor left. Given that it was a bit dark out, though illuminated by a full moons light, you read a book on the window seat in the bedroom with a cup of tea till the early hours of the day when you finished it and realized. Work. You had work in 30 minutes.
Fyodor was watching you through the cameras again. He couldn't help but chuckling at his darling, frantically getting ready for work (only halfway succeeding) after losing track of time reading with the forgotten cup of half drank tea. He found it so adorable that you had gotten so immersed in the book he had given you not long ago. Calming down from his fit of giggles, he got back on track. Elimination. Either Dazai needed to die or his darling needed to disappear. He wasn't going to kill her, no. He was going to erase everything, even hinting at her existence. All except her. He'll deal with the details later. He needed to choose quickly before that devil got any ideas. Neither option was simple. In fact, both are quite tedious in nature. Killing Dazai would risk having to kill the rest of the agency and possibly the port mafia. Getting rid of all but you yourself would mean not only would she have to lose both her job and her house, but possibly her entire family as well. Killing them would be the simplest because it would count as a burglary if the pictures of her and past possessions were stolen. He knew that he himself could very easily delete any and all documents the government has on her. All he needs is pawns. Maybe he could "cash in a favor," as it's called. The chief justice should be a good start. It wouldn't take much convincing. Only a few pictures he has of the cheifs deeds will suffice.
And just like that, you disappeared by Fyodors' hands. He had to pull a few strings for living arrangements, but it was well worth the price. You now live in the most rural area you can think of. Not a house or road for at least a hundred miles and surrounded by trees. Yet, you still have no idea Fyodor caused this. You are the one who agreed to 'move into his place'. You are the one who resigned your job to be there. It's not like you knew that Fyodor set your place ablaze or made your boss' blackmail public after ridding your files or being the cause of your family's death.
After a few hours of reading in the enormous library Fyodor has, you hear the door open. In all his handsome glory is fyodor adorning his unshaka and a pure white faux fur cloak.
"Good morning, moya milaya"
P.s. Fyodor will remain my favorite BSD character 😊
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demonproofboi · 11 days
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ok, putting my thoughts in order
I get the why. youtube sucks and each year that passes, it sucks more. they have a company and employees, and they've said before that watcher wasn't actually making a profit. it is way too harsh to say they're too greedy or "just like buzzfeed" or other stuff I've seen thrown around. they deserve to get money for their work, we are not entitled to free content, etc! I agree with all that.
the thing is though... I don't see how this could feasibly work? like, putting aside how most people are fed up with the sheer amount of streaming platforms popping up lately, the way I see it, their content does not have enough variety to warrant a paid subscription. and if it were to become varied enough, it would probably need a bigger cast and shows run by different people. and the problem with that is that we can't deny that the main appeal of watcher is how much people care about shane and ryan and (it pains me to say this, you all know he's my favorite but, to a lesser extent) steven. a ton of us are here because we wanted to keep watching them. for the people, not the shows, essentially. that is very clear when you look at the views of their shows.
idk, what I mean to say is, I don't see how they could have a catalog of content that justifies paying a monthly subscription if you're not a very avid fan willing to support them just because they're them, and even then those avid fans might end up dissatisfied because either a) a lot of the content will not include the people they want to see or b) the content will not be frequent enough. maybe I'm wrong and there is a third option here but, let's be real, there's gotta be a limit to how many different shows they can put shane and ryan in to have a varied catalogue and frequent upload schedule. and if it's not them in those shows, we bump into problem a.
I know the topic of whether or not $5.99 is a lot of money also became a reason for fights around here. this is what I have to say, as an international fan: depending on what country you're from, it's the sort of expense you just can't justify. like, the sort of money you shouldn't even spend on netflix with its very extensive selection of content. the sort of money you could use to pay a whole bill, buy groceries for a week, a month even! as it stands, here in brazil, for now, it's not really feasible. R$312 a year is a ton of money for me and I can't even say I'm struggling financially.
still on this topic, it is really hard not to take this "affordable to anyone and everyone" thing to heart being someone outside of the US, because it is the sort of thing that happens again and again, this sort of americentrism the internet at large seems to be stuck in. when they outright say they view this price as affordable to everyone it's very clear they have not taken international fans into consideration or they just don't really care. if they hadn't said that with so much certainty, maybe I'd feel a little less hurt. and you know, whatever, it's my feelings vs the needs of a company, and companies are not your friends but! ever since the beginning, the relationship between us and them has been very parasocial. lol it's like a good friend of mine said something that hurt my feelings. although maybe that's my own fault for placing them in that role in my head in the first place.
anyway, idk if this makes sense, the goal here isn't even to pick a side or tell anyone they're wrong... as with most things this is just too complicated for that. what I can say is that the way they went about this could have been a lot better. and for now what I am feeling is that this is eventually going to crash and burn but well, I just really hope I'm wrong. they deserve good things.
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