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danggerine · 3 years

Text

i made the mistake of reading the notes on a lot of trans naoto posts so now y’all get responses to some of the bad takes i keep seeing. buckle the fuck up

• “naoto’s arc is about sexism specific to the japanese workplace and calling her trans erases that to fit it into a western lens!!!”

you guys do know that there are japanese trans people right. like i agree that there are lots of issues with workplace sexism and gender roles in japan, but there’s also lots of issues with transphobia. y’all do know that you do not have to be white and/or live in a western country to be trans, and that queer stories and issues are GLOBAL stories and issues right.

• “naoto isn’t a man, she just pretended to be one to get respect in a male-dominated field, if you say she’s a trans man you’re ruining that whole character arc about accepting your true self!”

here’s the thing! the way that character arc was done was fucking transphobic! the trope of a woman going into disguise as a man for safety/respect/etc is tried and tested, it shows up literally everywhere, and the trope itself is not inherently transphobic. HOWEVER, when persona 4 incorporates Really Obviously Trans elements into that trope, like chest binding and literal gender reassignment surgery, then we have a problem, because now you have a cis character going through a trans narrative in the name of insecurity.

p4 does everything it can to embody the typical narrative of a young transitioning trans guy: binding, changing your name, revising official documents to be known as a man in work and school records, dressing masculine, and forming a shadow literally based on transitional surgery. plus the stuff naoto’s shadow says isn’t about being “a weak little girl” or “no one will ever take you seriously when you’re just a little girl” like you would expect it to be for someone who’s arc is supposed to be about dealing with misogyny, it’s all “you’ll never be a real man,” “you can’t cross the boundary between the sexes,” “no one will ever see you as you are” comments. you know, textbook trans guy insecurity. but the game backtracks on that and says naoto was just insecure about being a female detective and wanted people to take them seriously, and that they should get rid of these feelings and accept their true, female self.

and this is where the problem lies. when you write an obviously trans-coded narrative, but make the character experiencing it an insecure cis person or someone trying to avoid discrimination, you say either 1. trans people are really their assigned gender and are just insecure, but accepting the gender they were given at birth will make them happier and more confident or 2. being a trans man is a way for cis women to escape misogyny. 1 is obviously stupid and has been talked about by plenty of people, but 2 is a BIG problem and a wild assumption to me. being a trans man is seen as an “out” for naoto, or a solution to a problem, as if once they’re a man they’ll face no discrimination whatsoever, when in reality things like getting their gender marker changed in official documents that would allow them to go by “he” and wear the boy’s uniform at school and passing well enough to be seen as a boy in public would be a HUGE ordeal that includes a lot of stress and rejection and danger. realistically, naoto is putting themself in a really precarious position, because if they are exposed as actually afab to the media, to the detective agency, or to the school, they are set for a hell of a lot of ridicule, discrimination, and potential physical danger. but persona 4 doesn’t reflect this at all, because it’s transphobic and thinks that being trans is the easy way out for cis women experiencing misogyny!

• really any argument that boils down to “naoto is a cis woman in canon whose struggle is about sexism, not being trans”

like i already addressed enough of this, i think, but what really gets me is that kanji’s arc is fucked up in a lot of the same ways naoto is and no one is clowning on posts about kanji being gay? his shadow is a very clear (and offensive) gay caricature, and his narrative is very much one about a mlm guy experiencing homophobia from his peers and acting out because of that. and yet the game backtracks to saying “oh no it’s not about liking men, kanji is insecure about his femininity and softer hobbies because of toxic masculinity” and then literally uses naoto to refute his queerness because “look the only guy kanji was ever shown as attracted to was ACTUALLY a woman all along and now that kanji knows she’s a girl he can be openly attracted to her!” in canon, naoto is about as cis as kanji is straight, and yet EVERYONE is on board for portraying kanji as gay in fan works like it’s not even a question, but there has to be a huge debate anytime anyone wants to call naoto trans. legitimately, i think i’ve seen someone argue about kanji being mlm on a post...once? ever? meanwhile every post about naoto being trans has to have a horde of discourse, i’m literally already prepping for the bad notes this post will get because y’all cannot leave this ALONE

in conclusion, i am not saying that everyone has to think naoto is a trans man or forcing anyone to stop liking a character in the way they want or anything like that. i am saying that the naoto’s canon character arc is transphobic and if you’re trying to fight with trans people about how they want to reclaim something that uses a lot of their experiences, don’t.

#this is petty as shit and it’s probably going to get me into sooooo much DiscourseTM but i got frutsrated #really out here writing a fucking dissertation about the opinions people i’ve never met have about a 10+ year old game lmao #gale make a post that isn’t 10 miles long challenge #but i cant HELP it i love naoto so much he is so so trans to me #persona 4 #naoto shirogane #persona #trans naoto #my thoughts

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touchmycoat · 3 years

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OP!Anon for Leverage!HX/LQG: *SCREAM* oh I adore how you wrote this - HX is so good at reading everyone and understanding how to motivate/manipulate them, except for lqg. I love how angry he got at the idea of lqg seeing him in the same light as swd, and also how lqg's just like, yep, swd's gotta die when he heard the full story. I love the idea of HC coming in like the king he is and laying down the law about XL. ahhhhhhh!!!! just imagining hx and lqg getting close after lots of shenanigans!

teamwork baby

"Xue Yang must die" is literally one of my favorite WWX quotes of all time LMFAO time to pay homage

so you know how in book 3, during the Black Water arc, HX is there trying to push his whole scheme forward? It's well-timed, well-thought-out, but the only fucking spanner that keeps jumping back into his work is XL-and-therefore-HC? Yeah I imagine working with grifter!HC is pretty much like that. He's always late or never shows up at all to briefings, or he shows up to the very end to hear the conclusion and goes "Nope, that's fucking stupid, change it." SQQ's like "Why??" and HC's like "oh, lil boy can't figure it out?"

and whenever they have an actual plan going, HC sometimes just shows up and starts doing his own thing in the middle and forces HX to keep up. This is often motivated by one of XL's jobs, and XL would ask if HC knows a little piece of intel, and HC would be like "oh you know what, I actually have a hostage right here to ask about that, one moment please :)" and utterly prioritize XL's thing. HX has to change the job on the fly so many times, and it's so fucking annoying, but it's not like HC leaves him at a dead end, so he always does find a way out.

(this got fucking long, but HX/LQG under the cut)

Bingliushen are also annoyed as fuck, but while they're godtier at their own things, none of them are mastermind-level (yet—Binghe's gonna get there, isn't he), so they just have to put their faith in HX and keep chugging forward. This is how the foundation builds, y'know? HX insists to both others and himself that he's being honest and faithful to his team because that's just the best way to handle them, not 'cause he's actually a team player and not 'cause he cares for anybody at all. And LQG's a simple guy—you save my life, I'll save yours. You act in good faith, I'll be loyal in turn.

It starts with something small. HX's suffered tremendous loss, and has been on his own for a very, very long time. He's used to taking care of himself, but we all know LQG's love language is "here, you dropped this. I've been quietly paying attention to everything you like and do, no big deal." So maybe it happens on a mission. HC has three marks to dupe in succession, and they're playing a nasty Big Pharma group, so it's hitting close to home for HX. At the last minute though, HC says over the comm, "the CEO & CFO made me. Must've recognized me from speaking to the secretary earlier. He Xuan."

"Can you still do the COO?"

"I'm not about to waste this outfit, am I."

and HX has to hop in and do 2/3rds of the grifting himself, which is fine, he's completely capable of this, he's a goddamn prodigy at hiding his murderous tendencies. but out of nowhere LQG is on the line, "Shen Qingqiu, you said you can hack the finances, right?"

"Yes, but nothing else."

"Then He Xuan doesn't have to talk to the CFO. Give me 2 minutes, I'll knock him out."

and HX doesn't stop him because sure, why not? It was more efficient for HC to do three of them at once, but now that it was HX doing it (and HX still has his own part to play), it would save them more effort if LQG goes for the blunt force solution. But it rubs HX the wrong way—what the fuck? Yeah, HX may not like grifting as much as HC, the stupid drama queen, but hasn't he proven himself every bit as capable of it? Why did LQG think it necessary to, what, bail him out?

So that night, after debrief, HX pulls LQG aside to give him a piece of his mind. "Don't ever try to override my judgment again." "What are you talking about?" "I made a call, I did not need your 'help' on the grift." "That wasn't help." "Then what was it." "You hate talking to guys like that!" "???" "You didn't need to talk to him, and I was right there. It was the obvious thing to do."

and HX still doesn't get it, not until the next day, when SQQ and HX are quietly setting up for the morning, and SQQ says out of the blue, "that's just how he cares. Liu Qingge, I mean. It's never an ego thing once he's your friend."

"I don't need friends," is HX's automatic response.

"No," SQQ snorts in agreement. "You need revenge. That's fine. Then I'm sure he'll get over it."

Which—okay—no? Bastard. That's just a passive aggressive attempt at a guilt trip, and it's not going to work. HX has already made it abundantly clear from the get-go that this was simply a job, he was the pointman, once they were done everybody will go on their way. It's not his fault SQQ dragged in a hitman with the loyalty instincts of a german shepherd, and it's certainly none of his business whether LQG treats him as friend or a colleague.

LQG will just have to be disappointed.

BUT OF COURSE WHAT GOES ON TO HAPPEN IS THAT HX sees more and more of the things LQG does, the ways LQG manages to be thoughtful. The way LQG handles visitors during HX’s mealtimes despite how much LQG hates talking to randos, bc HX has bad food days and can’t really stand eating with others. The time they had some time to kill undercover in a consultant’s office, and HX passed the time by pointing out all the things wrong with the office’s mini-aquarium set-up, so when SQQ brought up something inane about decorating their headquarters, LQG made HX draw up specs for a saltwater tank of their own. HX and everybody else kept insisting it was a waste of time, but LQG still went ahead and got it made anyways, and now it’s HX’s favorite thing in the entire HQ.

But HX wasn’t about to owe anybody anything. If LQG insists on this game, then fine, HX was going to play to win. He requisitions new toys (read: weapons) for LQG, he builds heists around the sole purpose of giving LQG a room of satisfying bad guys to beat up, he goes to the gym and spars with LQG, he even tries to give LQG’s weirdly famous younger sister’s novel a read—which was a lot. Ahem. But LQG loves his younger sister, so surely this would be the ultimate “hah! I’ve given you more than you’ve given me! I win! move.

...turns out LQG’s never read the damn thing, and just takes everything HX gives him in total stride. “We still on for tomorrow?” “...Yes.” “Cool. See you.” And HX’s over here totally overthinking EVERYTHING while LQG’s just chilling, super matter-of-fact.

Fuck, were they friends???

HX rage-panics, because he does. not. need. friends. And it has nothing to do with how everyone he’s ever loved dies, it has nothing to do with the careful balance of vengeful fury and self-hatred inside him that’s about to tip over any day now, once they take down SWD. It has nothing to do with HX being too traumatized and grief-stricken to imagine moving on from revenge, to ever imagine being simply content again.

His eating habits get worse. One day he snaps at LQG for pining so much after SQQ. “You already know he’s never going to return your feelings. It’s embarrassing to watch you insist on giving so much when he’s not going to give anything back.”

“Shut up,” LQG snaps, “it’s not about getting anything back.”

But that makes it worse. Of course HX wasn’t actually talking about SQQ, though sure, that’s annoying too. LBh obviously knows, so why can’t they take their infernal flirting somewhere private, instead of flaunting it in front of LQG all the time?? But the fault’s with LQG too, what with all the giving. He should find someone more worthy of his affections and stop wasting his time here.

HX cuts everything he and LQG has built up in one fell swoop—completely gives him the cold shoulder. Only ever talks about work, no more dry quips, no more infodumps on niche hobbies. HX wishes he could destroy the tank at HQ, but that would be way too confrontational at this stage.

Until one mission, when LQG knows HX is not in a good place, and keeps trying to argue HX out of doing something excessively risky. HX rounds on him and says, “you’re just a hired gun, so shut up and shoot where I'm pointing, or you can pack your things and get out.”

LQG goes red, then white, and storms away.

“Nice sucker punch,” HC comments idly where he’s lounging on the side. Who knows when the fuck he showed up. “Right where it hurts.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know. His five-year stint with the Sha City Demons?”

Of course HX knows about that. He’s looked thoroughly into everybody’s backgrounds. But what does that have to do with this?

“Gege is the best at this, after all. See you and I, we stopped asking questions once we knew the name, because we don’t think people are ever as pure and good as they pretend to be. But you know what Dianxia said, after I mentioned Liu Qingge’s old gig to him? ‘Five years, hm? I wonder what they had on him. In my experience, men like Liu Qingge don’t work for crews like the Sha Demons. And in order to sink their claws deeper into men like him, the Demons always make them do the worst jobs.’ Just a hired gun indeed.”

That’s right. LQG gets a Moreau backstory of his own. HX feels his heart sink to the pit of his stomach.

“Fuck.”

“I don’t know why you’re so stressed out about it. He is just a hired gun—”

“You know why. Fuck.”

“So get out of my face and do something about it already. You know where he’s gone, I know you’ve put trackers on your entire team.”

“...”

“You didn’t? No, you didn’t put one on him? My god, you do care.”

While HC’s busy sounding disgusted, HX is reeling. He just sent the best hitman in the field packing, and was an absolute dick about it. He was not a kind man, but he also wasn’t a cruel one. He believes in fairness, and everything he said simply had not been fair. It had all been his own guilt and issues talking; if he really didn’t give a damn, then he wouldn’t have...done all this.

“How much are you willing to pay?” HC says, swiping at his phone.

“What?”

“Because I don’t trust any of you, and did put a tracking device on Liu Qingge.” He sure has—HC is waving the loading tracking app in HX’s face. “So I’m asking, how much are you willing to pay?”

...And that’s the reason why HX owes HC so much damn money.

#leverage AU #he xuan #lqg #anon this is so much fun TTTTTT #i'm about to rewatch leverage 'cause of you

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crownandwriter · 3 years

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Your pinned post says matchups are still open, so I’m taking my shot! But if you’re too busy or tired of all the requests by the time you get to mine, no worries. Tbh, I have almost as much fun reading other people’s results, especially when they’re as thoughtful and detailed as yours!

May I please have a Genshin matchup? I’m bi and use she/her pronouns; I’m fine with any gender partner. MBTI-wise, I’ve mostly typed as INTP with the occasional ENTP thrown in. I think INTP fits better (really, really well actually), except that I’m not (usually) that insensitive or socially awkward. I’m not one to chat up a stranger at a party, but I WILL go to the party and enjoy it (if only for free food/drinks, dancing, and maybe some new music), and if someone approaches me they’ll probably find me funny and a good conversationalist. If one of my loved ones is down, my instinct is to help brainstorm a solution to their problem or suggest nice distractions, but if they just want me to listen and comfort them I can do that pretty well. I do have a lot of trouble expressing my own emotions beyond the easy, shallow stuff, and I tend to get very frustrated and impatient when I see someone’s emotions holding them back from acknowledging facts or doing what needs to be done. That’s especially true when I feel like my own emotions of uncertainty or inadequacy are holding me back from the things I want.

More broadly, some words that describe me are imaginative, adventurous, independent, and I guess ambitious. Some might call me laid back, and I am most of the time, but when it comes to my major goals and dreams I’m actually really determined and honestly a little selfish. Like, if I were up against my closest friend for my dream job, I would still do anything (within the bounds of fairness) to get it, and if I lost I would have hard feelings about it (which I would bury deeply until I die, lol). I love, love learning and trying new things, and my ideal partner is someone who can surprise me and teach me stuff without making me feel like their student or sidekick. I want us to have fun together and help each other grow. My main love language (both ways) is quality time, but I can work with pretty much anything else except receiving a lot of gifts which makes me feel, idk, embarrassed? Or pressured to respond with the right level of of happiness?

Socially, I have a small circle of very close friends (many of whom are also family, including my younger brother and some of my cousins), a slightly larger circle of pretty good friends, and a lot of friendly acquaintances - people I like to hang out with, but would never feel comfortable being emotional or vulnerable around. If I have a conflict with someone I try to talk it out, but if we can’t come to an agreement I’m going to quietly do whatever I want. My most toxic trait is ghosting people, because saying goodbye/breaking up is awkward and inefficient, lol. On the other hand, I think my most attractive qualities as a friend/gf are positivity, spontaneity, and attentiveness to the other person’s likes, interests and dreams.

For miscellaneous, I’m 5’1” with really long dark hair (which I’m a little vain about, ngl), gray eyes, freckles, and (I’ve been told) a sweet face that turns super cold when I’m angry. My style is kind of flashy but practical, if that makes sense? Lots of eye-catching colors and patterns, but everything has pockets and I don’t do high heels. I’m a medical student, and my dream is to be a national delegate to the World Health Organization someday. I have a cat - if my partner doesn’t get along with her then we’re over, but she’s basically the laziest, friendliest chonk on the planet so it’s not hard. My hobbies/interests are games (video games obviously, but mostly board games), beer, cooking, dancing (like, club dancing, I’m not disciplined enough for the formal stuff), and movies, especially documentaries.

Thank you so much, and I hope this was enough info without too much rambling, haha.

I’m jealous tbh Sucrose is, like, the perect girl imo Just need to snip off that rat tail

I ship you with Sucrose!

-Sucrose is more logical than emotional, but not so much that she’s an emotionally unavailable partner! She’s rational, driven, and focused on her work...but, and it’s literally in her game title, she’s an absolute sweetheart. She manages her own emotions and troubles very maturely, communicates rather well, and is attentive enough in her few close relationships to be reliable. She will have her slip-ups occasionally, as everyone does, but she’s understanding about when this happens and when she’s hurt people, and does her best to make it up.

-She herself definitely more on the introverted side, and has a similar stance to you on socializing. She doesn’t always enjoy it because she tends to bring her scientific mindset into conversation and it’s often too fast-paced for her to think about the best ways to interact with people. She does like people, however. So she’s generally more comfortable in an observational role. If you take the lead on conversations, she’ll happily stand at your side and listen quietly--may even pipe in, if she likes the topic enough.

-Your goals, hobbies, and ambitions all line-up really really well! Sucrose would love for you to take an interest in her experiments, and would likely take an interest in your studies without any prompting, too. After all, part of her work in Bio-alchemy is testing how her discoveries much impact or benefit humans. Learning about the human body with you only stands to aid her research further. She’s a student herself, despite working mostly on her own, so she considers you an equal and asks for your help and advice as much as she rambles to you about all the cool stuff she already knows.

-She’d go just about anywhere with you, but by far her favorite dates are documentary nights at home, with pizza and other delicious junk food she doesn’t indulge in otherwise. Bio-alchemy has also led to Sucrose to be very conscious of what she fuels her body with for the most part. She’d also suggest various board games on these nights once she discovers your love of them! She’s fond of them herself, but not always so good. Don’t worry though, she’s not a sore loser. Especially if the wager is a kiss for the winner.

-She very much likes your cat! ...Not just because she’s a cat-girl herself. Sucrose likes all manner of creatures and studying them. She probably conducts various safe experiments on your cat with your blessing, but it’s anyone guess as to what she’s doing exactly. Once she gave your cat some very good brushies and then ran off with all of the loose fur clumps.... Another time she recorded her purring while giving some very good pets!

-Your spontaneity is good for Sucrose! It’s a given that she won’t love all the outings you have together, but she’s open minded and at the very least values new experiences! She has a tendency to stick to her comfortable routines, realizes she might get stuck in a mental rut if she never changes anything up. You’re a blessing for that!

Runner Up: Lisa ....but pls don’t, you and Sucrose are my otp now

#matchup #genshin matchup

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the-online-marketing-alliance · 4 years

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How To Write an eBook in 7 Steps15 min read

Ebooks are a great way to start selling your ideas, skills, and experience online. It’s often the gateway to creating a complete online information product or membership site. They’re also an excellent way to grow your email list, by offering an ebook as a download in return for subscribing to your list, it’s called a lead magnet.

Whenever I talk to people and ask them what’s stopping them from writing an ebook…they tell me it’s the design, or the cover, the layout, images or technology.

The reality is that’s the easiest part, which I’ll cover at the end of this article.

The hardest part is actually the first part of the process…the writing. I don’t mean the typing – what I mean is producing something that actually works. Yes…something that people will actually read, get hooked on and engaged until finally you get them to take the next step. Which is when they will buy something more from you.

This article has 7 Steps: Step 1 to 6 is Creating the Content and Step 7 is Producing the Ebook.

What’s great about this method is it also helps you lay the foundation on how you will sell your ebook…or at least incentivize people to download it.

Table of Contents

How to Write an Ebook Ground Rules

Step 1) Make sure there is a market for your ebook

Step 2) Define your Avatar/Persona

Step 3) Devise the hook

Step 4) Create your ebook outline

Step 5) Fill-in the blanks

Step 6) Editing your ebook

Step 7) Convert into an ebook

Conclusion

What should I write about?

What is the ideal length of your ebook?

How long should it take to write the book?

Is there search traffic for what you’re writing about?

Is the keyword trending, declining or seasonal?

How to identify Personas

Persona template

How can you find and add hooks to your ebook?

Here are 3 methods to inspire your hook title or subject line:

2) Using Buzzsumo

The outline formula explained

Introduction

Who are you?

Describe the problem, outline the solution, paint a picture

Repeat above 5 times

Summarise what you’ve learned

Add Call to action for more information

Ebook best practices

Make it concise and review any reiteration

Checking for grammar, spelling, style and structure

The 5 Step Method

How to Write an Ebook Ground Rules

First of all…some ground rules.

What should I write about?

In the steps below, I’ve outlined a formula for getting results…but it’s useless unless it’s a topic you know something about, or you enjoy it and you have some interest in it. This is important because when you’re writing if you have no interest, you’ll get bored. Combine that with an online world that’s specifically designed to get your attention – your project will live a short life.

What is the ideal length of your ebook?

People won’t read a 500-page ebook, your readers cannot digest it and they’ll get fed up. You should plan to produce between 10 to 100 pages.

If its a lead magnet, then 10 pages is enough – it should get the key points across clearly and efficiently.

If you’re selling it as an information product…then it should be closer to 100 pages, because you will need to provide more examples to support your points.

Overall, the quality is what matters…so don’t add fluff or filler content.

Here is a book I put together with the For Dummies brand. It’s 48 pages long. It covers the key points of content marketing. Provides a framework to follow. Plus, it leads on to a course and software that we sell to help make content marketing easier.

It’s positioned like this.

It’s a 48-page ebook to wet the appetite, grow the list and get the key framework points across.

The book promotes our marketing course PICASSO, which is video and example-driven training. The PICASSO course then, in turn, promotes our software tools Kudani, Designrr and Headlinr.

How long should it take to write the book?

As fast as possible. The longer you take…the longer it exponentially takes to complete.

This means you need to focus less on getting it perfect and simply get the words on paper…or into Evernote, Google Docs (my preference) or Word.

This means you should start NOW…and take MASSIVE imperfect action.

Forget about grammar, spelling, layout…complete sentences, etc.

Get as many words down as quickly as possible.

Switch off Facebook/Email/Phone to stop yourself getting distracted. (Hint: Install Facebook News Feed Eradicator – and you’ll gain 1 hour a day back into your life.)

https://designrr.io/NewFeedEradicator

Get in the zone…and focus.

Set a timer for 40 minutes to focus and do nothing else.

Stop and walk for 10 minutes…then get back and restart timer.

Even if you do just 3 iterations of 40 minutes – you’ll find you’ve accomplished more than you probably do in a whole day.

With all that done, let’s get into the meat of this method.

Step 1) Make sure there is a market for your ebook

Sounds obvious but it’s probably the biggest mistake people make. If there is no market – no-one will buy or download your ebook. For example, let’s look at the diet niche. Should I focus on Paleo or Keto diets?

To establish this, you can follow some of these techniques:

Is there search traffic for what you’re writing about?

You can measure this by going to Semrush.com (Free registration required) and typing in the top level keyword for what you’re writing about. For example: “Keto Diet”

Obviously, a huge volume market with over 1m searches worldwide. Paleo Diet produces 368,000 volume, so still a great market to write for, but Keto is clearly the biggest right now.

Is the keyword trending, declining or seasonal?

To check this – go to Google Trends.

With this tool, I can actually compare values Paleo vs Keto.

And all diets have some seasonality as shown here, but the overall trend shows Keto is the one to go for.

Step 2) Define your Avatar/Persona

Put simply – who are you targeting this for? You’ll want to be able to relate with your target audience to meet their needs and help find solutions to their problems.

An avatar is a representation of your ideal customer. Take some time to understand and define this, so when you put your book together you can write in a way that they will understand. Using marketing personas makes websites 2-5 times more effective and easier to use by targeted users and drive 18 times more revenue than broadcast emails.

An example for Keto could be:

A Mom, aged 35-45, who needs to lose 50 lbs quickly and has been struggling with diets that are difficult to stick to. She’s busy with her family and has little time to cook.

Focusing like this on the avatar also helps define your hooks and design style. For example, a feminine color scheme would work better than a masculine black.

I often give them a name, which helps you focus even more. Let’s call her Susan.

How to identify Personas

The easiest way to identify the persona, if you have a website already, is looking at Google Analytics for data. You can identify where your visitors came from, what keywords were used, and how long they stayed on your site. Plus, demographics such as age, gender, location, interests, etc. Learning about your current visitors just became a lot easier to create personas for.

Here are a few more effective methods you can use to identify your Persona:

Monitor social media talking about your brand or keywords

Spy on your competitors and see what they have done

Identify complaints, comments, compliments

Questions on Google Search

Questions on Quora or Reddit

Persona template

It’s easier to write an ebook about someone you know. If you already have an idea of who you want to write your ebook for, great. If you don’t have an idea, I hope that this persona template can help paint your persona picture better:

Persona name: (example Susan)

Job title

about their company (size, sector, etc.)

Details about their job role

It could also be a family role (mom, dad, brother, sister, etc.)

Demographics

Age

Gender

Salary or combined household income

Location

Level of education

Family size

Goals and challenges

Main goal

Secondary goal

How you help your persona reach these goals

Primary challenge

Secondary challenge

How you can assist in resolving these problems

Values and fears

Main personal values

Common objections during sales process

Add images and color

Use an attractive color scheme that’s indicative of your persona’s characteristics

Icons and graphics can help in understanding who they are

Of the persona: it can be a photograph, a cartoon or a sketch – create a non-bias image

Psychographics

Behaviors

Attitudes

Opinions

Motivations are what make your personas human

Brands

Help provide great insights into the user’s likes and hobbies, which may even include competitor brands

Last but not least, understanding where your persona is at in the buyer’s journey. Here’s an example of what a buyer’s journey might look like:

https://venngage.com/blog/user-persona-examples/

This will help you fine tune your ebook and create a targeted objective to where you want your readers to end up.

Step 3) Devise the hook

The hook is what forms the title, headline or subject line. It’s designed to catch the reader’s attention by promising a result for the reader. Think of them as cliffhangers. They give readers a powerful sense of what they’ll get out of your ebook without giving away everything.

How can you find and add hooks to your ebook?

Go through your ebook, and note down every solution your book provides. Then ask yourself: What is the big problem you’re trying to solve and what are the pain points of your audience?

What will your reader’s life look like, or what will they be able to do, when they implement your solution? You want your readers to say “Yes, that’s me!”. If you can create that sense of identification, relation, you’re already close to securing the sale.

Now we have our avatar defined, this step starts to become easy.

We said that Susan needs to lose weight fast and has little time to cook with a busy family. She has also struggled to stick to diets previously, probably because she’s demotivated.

So the hook should focus on words like:

Quick, fast and easy to implement methods

Quick results so you’re motivated to stick

For busy people

Here are 3 methods to inspire your hook title or subject line:

Use Amazon Advanced search, and order by bestsellers to search using your core keyword. Look at the titles that are in the top 3-5 places.

Look at the results and analyse the bestsellers:

Using ‘Keto’ as our example, the titles that appear at the top are:

Simply Keto: A Practical Approach to Health & Weight Loss with 100+ Easy Low-Carb Recipes

The Complete Ketogenic Diet for Beginners: Your Essential Guide to Living the Keto Lifestyle

Keto Diet: Your 30-Day Plan to Lose Weight, Balance Hormones, Boost Brain Health, and Reverse Disease

The Easy 5-Ingredient Ketogenic Diet Cookbook: Low-Carb, High-Fat Recipes for Busy People on the Keto Diet

Keto Diet Cookbook For Beginners: 550 Recipes For Busy People on Keto Diet (Keto Diet for Beginners)

KetoFast: Rejuvenate Your Health with a Step-by-Step Guide to Timing Your Ketogenic Meals

What are the key things that standout for you?

Best selling titles:

Use numbers. These always work well in titles as they indicate that there is an end to the information. i.e. There is only a number of things people need to know.

Use Words like Easy / Simple / Step by Step / Cookbook / Plan. All these words say that there is a simple process to follow.

Are Benefit driven. (For Busy People / to lose weight / boosts brain health) – How does your title help or solve a problem for the reader.

While you are on the Amazon page, look at the 5 and 1 star reviews for specific information that people are looking for. Here are some examples:

It’s clear from the above that the author didn’t deliver on the title’s promise and needed to put more photos in the book.

2) Using Buzzsumo

Buzzsumo is a great tool to analyze what’s currently out there and the sentiment of what’s performing well. You can search your key term in Buzzsumo for free.

Here are some tips to help you:

Analyze top performing headlines

Competitors headline

Filter based on content type

Type of words and phrases people use

Create headlines that:

Tell readers why they should care

Make a clear promise

Hook readers’ emotions

Provoke curiosity

Provide explanations

Appeal to a tribe

3) Ask questions of your customers and/or your email list

Join a Facebook group – and create a poll.

Title it: “Hi, I’m creating an ebook for XYZ, and I want to make sure I’m on point. Can you help?

What are the 3 Biggest problems you have in doing XYZ right now?”

One or two sentences for each solution is plenty. These are your hooks, and you’ll use them later when writing your book description, title, headlines, chapters, etc.

Step 4) Create your ebook outline

In this section it’s important to be concise yet provide enough information to illustrate your point.

Remember you don’t want your ebook to be too long.

The outline formula explained

Try and cover the top 5 key problems and solutions. If there are more…that’s ok too.

Introduction

Outline what the reader will learn. Tell your story and use the pain points identified. Reveal your secret right away. When you start big and reveal that one secret right in the intro, this will make your readers trust you and expect even bigger results.

Who are you?

Why should people listen to you?

Tell a story on how you came about this knowledge.

Position yourself as an expert.

Describe the problem, outline the solution, paint a pictureRepeat above 5 timesSummarise what you’ve learnedAdd Call to action for more information

Critical – Most people forget this step

Step 5) Fill-in the blanks

Once you have an outline, you’ll want to start filling in the blanks to help expand and explain your ebook. Simple way to explain how to do just that is to:

Make it a “You and I” and just write. Use the persona to have a normal conversation and explain to Susan about your thoughts on keto diet.

Don’t stop to correct, instead get everything out of your brain. You’ll want to dedicate a separate time to correct any grammar and spelling errors later. Put your focus on getting your ideas down.

Ebook best practices

Once you’ve added all your thoughts into your ebook, you can start adding more insightful information. Some of this consists of:

Adding quotes

Adding images

Importing and highlighting stats, relevant sources, etc. (Great source is Statista https://www.statista.com/ )

Place appropriate calls-to-action within your ebook

Curate paragraphs from other sites and sources to strengthen your points

Step 6) Editing your ebook

After you’ve filled in the blanks with every idea you have, you’ll want to trim, add, and edit your ebook. One of the most important parts of your ebook is to constantly add value and engage with your readers. Creating a successful ebook is to make sure not to reiterate. Being concise and to the point rather than exhausting your readers. You’ll want to review some of your explanations to see if you can create snippets of information.

Make it concise and review any reiteration

With the paragraph above, let’s see how we can make it concise and optimized for engagement.

“Once you’ve filled in the blanks with your amazing idea, you’ll need to trim, add, and edit your ebook. Focus on creating snippets and watch out for any reiteration. Read your ebook to identify what might make your readers stop reading. It’s all about creating engagement after engagement.”

You can always reread and see if there are ways to make it shorter, concise and to the point.

Checking for grammar, spelling, style and structure

This is where you can spend your time correcting spelling, sentences, style and structure. However, instead of trying to fix everything, there are two rules to follow:

Focus on the big picture, so you don’t get overwhelmed.

And then the details like typos, tweaking sentences and grammar.

Seeing the big picture will help you spot things you’ve written in Chapter 3 that shows up in Chapter 1. During the first phase, you might make the introduction shorter, remove a whole chapter, merge two chapters into one so it feels cohesive with the rest of your ebook.

Using grammar tools like Grammarly is a life saver. However, be cautious when you replace every single error, because it might try to correct that one word rather than the whole sentence structure. No tool is perfect, so read your ebook out loud so you can notice poorly worded sentences or even check the tone of the sentences. If all else fails, there are proofreading services that might save you some time.

Whatever the path you want to use, be sure to not leave this up to the reader! So make sure to check off these:

Check spelling and grammar.

Check the length of each chapter, ensure the description flows well.

Brush up the voice and tone.

Step 7) Convert into an ebook

The 5 Step Method

Part 1: Import using Designrr

Designrr can import and create ebooks from your blog, Microsoft Word, Google docs, Medium, another PDF, Facebook, or even an Audio or Video file, including a YouTube link.

In this case we’ll be using a Google Doc.

Grab the share URL from the Google DOC. (Make sure is accessible to ‘Everyone’)

Import the link into Designrr using the ‘Import From URL’ option.

Alternatively, you could also use the ‘Import Manually’ option.

Just copy and paste your Google Doc into the draft editor.

Part 2: Choose a Template

Then choose a template. There are literally 100s to choose from.

Part 3: Tweak, Customize and Tailor Your Look

Start by checking that the layout is ok – and that there are no grammar mistakes or typos.

Then begin the design process.

Adjust fonts, colors or style of your book:

A table of contents is generated automatically:

Change the template colors, headers and footers, cover image, or even add more images from your computer or the built-in library of thousands:

Select one for a new cover:

Then click ‘Publish’:

You can publish to PDF, Kindle, ePub or to your blog.

Once your ebook is created – you can also add a 3d thumbnail to use on your website to encourage people to download it.

Conclusion

Writing an ebook can be a lengthy process if you don’t know where to start or understand the steps you need to follow. We went over how to identify if there’s a market for your ebook idea and that creating personas can help fill most of your content. Knowing what to write about is one thing, focusing on one person and engaging with that persona is another. Creating the actual ebook itself, making it beautiful, is the easiest part when using a software like Designrr.

If you received value from this post please Like & Share this post so that we can serve and help others keep and build their business, income, so that they can sustain with the tools necessary to make an impact during this time.

Yours In Knowledge - Peace & Wellness

The Online Marketing Alliance

#ebook #how to create an ebook #how to build a email list #lifepreneur #chris record #how to get more customers #designrr

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strife-and-discord · 4 years

Text

Here Kitty, Kitty

Read on AO3 here

Characters: Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dedue Molinaro, Annette Fantine Dominic, Lysithea Von Ordelia

Summary: With the war going on, Seteth agrees to open the restricted section of the library in case there could be knowledge there that could help them in battle. Instead what Lysithea and Annette find is a book of mischief (although they don't know that's what it is at the time) and poor Felix who was just there to help them with the heavy lifting accidentally becomes their victim.

This is a Catboy Felix you have been warned.

A/N: *leans real close to the mic* I would just like to thank the ten-hour version of the Tetris theme for getting me through this

Anyway this is 3.5k words of catboy felix dedicated to @corviiids. I'll admit this chapter is a little boring cause it's mostly just the set up but I swear I have other chapters planned featuring plenty of catboy felix shenanigans and I am also open to requests (don't really wanna do shippy stuff though).

also just a small trigger warning but Felix does low key refer to Dedue as a lap dog later on in the chapter and I know that bothers some people

Felix’s nose twitches when Annette slams some ancient tomb down on the table near him, the damned thing is so old Felix is surprised it doesn’t just crumble entirely into dust.

“Careful Annette, that was too loud,” Lysithea shushes from her spot over by the shelves.

Given that they were in the middle of a war and that they were all adults now, Seteth had given the Blue Lions house the keys to access the restricted section of the library. Stating that it may contain old or unconventional knowledge that could be useful in the fight against Edelgard.

Obviously- being the book worms that they are- Lysithea and Annette were the most eager for the chance to learn some forgotten magic and asked Felix to supervise them in case there was some sort of accident. He gets that to some extent this could be important to the war effort so Felix agrees to hang around while they work. However, it’s turning out to be a fairly dull experience where the most Felix has done in nearly an hour and a half is help the girls carry some of the bigger books.

“Ahh… sorry! I shouldn’t have tried to carry one so heavy, I’ll be more careful.” Despite the plume of dust currently irritating Felix’s sinuses he can’t help but roll his eyes fondly at Annette’s antics.

She says she’ll be more careful but he knows that this is far from the last mistake she’ll ever make. Although, he doesn’t seem to mind Annette’s clumsiness as much as he does other people’s. As long as she’s got people like him and Lysithea around to help her out he thinks she’ll be fine.

“What is that one anyway, it’s really dusty so it must have been laying around for a while,” Lysithea asks as she moves to join them at the table.

Annette squints to read the title of the book and Felix thinks to himself that her eyes are probably going bad from all the studying she does. “Li-bri Eo-rum Lo- Lo… Lo-contour? I’m not sure about that last one-” Annette frowns- “It's spelt a bit funny,”

“Libri Eorum Loquuntur,” Lysithea pronounces. Annette and Felix turn to her. “What? I’ve just heard this language spoken by other mages before.” She blushes and looks away.

“Does that mean you understand it?” Felix asks.

Lysithea shakes her head. “No sorry. My understanding is very basic.”

“Oh well, we can ask Seteth about that later. Let’s take a look inside!” With that Annette jams her fingers into a random part of the book and heaves it open, creating another cloud of dust.

“Ugh.. geez! Someone really should have been taking better care of these things,” Lysithea coughs and splutters.

Felix’s nose twitches again but this time he can’t keep himself from sneezing. Annette snickers, “Felix you sneeze like a kitten!”

Heat rises to his cheeks, “No I don’t!”

“Ugh, you sneezed all over the book that’s gross,” Lysithea groans.

“Sorry,” he grumbles.

Annette just giggles at him again before turning her attention to the now open book.

“Hm… weird, the book is written in the same language as the cover but someone’s added some Fodlan translations but only to the instructions. So we know how to do the spell but not what it does.”

Lysithea peaks over her shoulder. “It doesn’t look overly complicated either. Seems you just need something from your victim that ties them to the spell… and then you just say the words.”

“Wow! These are even more complicated than the title! Do you think you can figure out how to pronounce it Lys?”

Lysithea scoffs, “Of course I can. The chant is ostendere bestia est homo in interiorem”

Felix isn't’ really sure what happens after Lysithea says the chant because all at once he is struck by a blinding pain in both his head and his lower back. He collapses to the ground with a scream of anguish. He Vaguely registers Lysithea and Annette rushing over to him and talking to him in panicked tones but before he can try and reach for the words to reassure them, his world is engulfed in white light before he blacks out completely.

___________

Dedue is, as per usual, sitting at one of the pews in the cathedral that is closest to his Highness in order to keep an eye on him as he… broods. It is where Dedue can most often be found these days seeing as Gilbert took up most of his other duties in his absence. He doesn’t mind though. Dedue’s place has always been at his Highness’s side, for better or for worse.

Since Dedue now has a lot more idle time than he is used to, and he cannot indulge in his usual hobbies of cooking and gardening from the cathedral, he has taken up some new hobbies that can be done at his post such as sewing and crafts. One lucky day he was even able to convince his Highness to allow him to stitch up some of the raggedness his cloak had received during his missing five years.

The cathedral is not as busy as it was back in his academy days so, for the most part, Dedue is left to spend his days in relative peace and quiet. Today, however, the sweet eerie silence of the holy structure is greatly disturbed when his fellow housemates Lysithea and Annette come running through the place like twin hurricanes, calling for Dedue.

“Dedue! Deeduuuueee!” He really does wish they’d be a bit quieter, this is a church after all and he doesn’t want them to aggravate his Highness.

“There is no need to shout. I can hear you,” he informs them politely as they reach him at the back of the church.

“We messed up big time Dedue.” Annette pants from running. “You need to come with us. You have to see it to believe it and we don’t know what to do.” Lysithea is nodding enthusiastically beside her...

Dedue frowns. He is not entirely sure what sort of situation would require this kind of response. However, were someone dying he would hope that Lysithea and Annette would simply tell him outright. He believes this is something different. He stands up and places his current sewing project gently back on the seat behind him. He doubts anyone here would take it. He nods once at the two women and gestures for them to lead the way.

As they move towards wherever it is that they’re headed, Dedue notes that Lysithea and Annette do not seem to be panicked, per se, just nervous. He also notes that they seem to be heading towards the Dormitories. Perhaps someone is ill and the girls want his advice in taking care of them? Although that doesn’t explain their statement of ‘he has to see it to believe it.”

He is led to the second floor of the dormitories and towards the end of the hall. Dedue panics for a second that perhaps they have done something dreadful to his Highness’s room. While he may not be using it at the moment, Dedue would prefer it to remain intact. Fortunately, the trio stops before his Highness’s room and instead enter Felix’s.

Dedue’s brain comes to a complete standstill. Lysithea and Annette stand at Felix’s bedside looking at him with expectation and fear but Dedue can not formulate any sort of emotional response to offer them. Felix lies on his bed, stripped of his weapons and curled in a fetal position on his side, with two catlike ears sprouting from his head and a rather elegant tail curling from his lower back.

Dedue is not sure of how many moments pass in silence but it is enough that Lysithea and Annette start to shuffle awkwardly where they are standing.

“What…-” Dedue starts- “exactly has happened here.”

Lysithea won’t meet his eye and Annette seems to be biting her lip to keep from crying. He hopes, absentmindedly, that he is not intimidating them too much.

It is Lysithea who speaks up first. “Felix was helping us look through the restricted section of the library for anything we could potentially use in battle when we found a very old book in a language we didn’t understand and accidentally cast a spell from it!” Lysithea rushes the story so fast that Dedue almost doesn’t catch it.

Dedue looks at Felix again. It is probably the most peaceful Dedue has ever seen Felix in all the years they’ve known each other, he can’t help but think Felix looks very nice like this. Other than the ears and tail he can’t see anything wrong or out of the ordinary. He understands that given the current state of things both Dedue and the Professor have become the primary givers of support among the monastery but for once he does not have even the slightest of clues as to what he should do about this.

“I do not mean to sound rude but I do not believe I am the right person to assist in this. I am very much lacking in skill when it comes to the magical arts and I have little knowledge of Fodlan history. If you want my advice, it would be to speak to either Manuela or Seteth about this. Perhaps both.”

Annette and Lysithea both look crestfallen at that and Dedue cannot suppress the twinge of guilt he feels at not being able to provide them with a solution.

“Well… can you at least stay with us until he wakes up? He’s gonna be really angry when he wakes up and I don’t know if Annette’s pouty face will be enough to calm him down this time…”

Dedue sighs. He understands their concern, even if Felix does not lash out at them physically he can be just as brutal with his words but Dedue is already starting to feel anxious at being away from his Highness for so long. However, this is a fairly serious situation and the goddess knows what kind of condition Felix will be in when he wakes up. If he can’t walk, it would not be fair to leave Annette and Lysithea to carry him to the infirmary.

“Alright,” he relents, “I will stay until he wakes and help escort him to the infirmary afterwards.”

Dedue stumbles as Annette leaps to hug him with a surprising amount of might for such a small lady. “Oh thank you Dedue! This means the world to me I promise we’ll make it up to you!”

“Annette, shhh!” Lysithea scolds, “Felix is still sleeping.”

“Oh yeah, sorry!”

Lysithea just rolls her eyes and pulls out Felix’s desk chair to sit in. Dedue situates himself by the door and Annette moves towards the bed to have a closer look at Felix.

“You have to admit though… he does look really cute.” As if without thinking, Annette’s hand slowly moves towards the spot on Felix’s head between his ears.

“Annette!” Lysithea jumps up. “You can’t do that! Felix will actually kill you!”

Annette looks back guiltily, “He doesn’t have to know! I have a better chance of being able to do it now than when he’s awake.”

Assured in her logic, Annette continues her actions. Dedue can’t help but agree with Lysithea in that watching Annette move to pat Felix on the head is sending off warning bells in his head. Fortunately, Felix does not immediately awaken in a ball of rage and swords as Annette’s hand makes contact. Instead, as Annette starts to scratch gently around where his ears are, a low rumbling sound comes from Felix instead.

“Oh my goddess, he’s purring,” Annette whispers in complete awe. Dedue swears he can see stars in her eyes.

Lysithea moves from her seat to peak over Annette’s shoulder, moving cautiously as if one wrong step will cause an explosion. “I wanna have a go as well” Annette backs away carefully allowing Lysithea to take her place.

“His ears are so soft…” Lysithea mutters almost to herself as it is hard to hear her over Felix’s purring.

Suddenly, the purring cuts off and Lysithea jerks her hand back as Felix gives a yawn with way more fangs than any human is meant to have. He starts to sit up and Annette and Lysithea scramble back to hide by Dedue.

Felix doesn’t seem to notice them in his grogginess, instead opting to lick his hand and use it to clean behind his ears. Dedue understands what he is doing. He has seen real cats do the same. However, if Dedue thought his brain had been frozen earlier what it is doing now can only be considered a total breakdown. The three stand at the door in the most oppressing silence Dedue has ever felt. Annette once again looks as though she is about to cry and Lysithea is poised and ready to run at a moment's notice.

Felix, however, is completely blind to their shocked states and merely continues to groom himself as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

Felix freezes mid lick and his eyes snap wide open.

Dedue has known Felix for a number of years now even if they’ve never exactly been close and during that time Dedue would never have described himself as feeling intimidated by Felix. However, the look on Felix’s face as he slowly turns to face the trio at the doorway still in the position to lick his hand, gives Dedue chills down his spine as nothing else has in a long time.

The others must feel the same because Dedue registers that Lysithea has his arm in a death grip and a sniffle from his side indicates that Annette’s tears have finally burst forth.

Felix lowers his hand but does not relax his glare even a little. “What… Exactly… Have you done to me?” his voice is low and dangerous and Dedue does not like it one bit.

“It was an accident…” Annette squeaks out.

“That spell from the old book we cast seems to have given you the features of a cat,” Lysithea tries to explain with confidence.

“If you are willing, we’d like to take you to the infirmary to be checked by Manuela. Just to be sure there are no ill side effects,” Dedue adds.

Felix takes several deep breaths and Dedue considers shifting into a more defensive position, he’s fairly certain he can take on an unarmed Felix and if not he can at least protect the girls. Fortunately, this isn’t necessary as the breathing seems to be enough to bring Felix down for the time being. “Fine. I’ll go with you.”

Both Lysithea and Annette seem to start breathing again and Dedue would be lying if he said he didn’t let out a sigh of relief as well. Felix gets up from his spot on the bed and stalks over to the mirror on the wall. His new ears twitch as he looks at them but other then shows no outward emotion towards his new appendages other than vague annoyance. Which is how Felix usually looks at things.

“Oh!” Annette jumps, “You should tuck your tail in and cover your ears with your hood! So you don’t alarm anyone.” Felix nods to her and moves to do so.

_____________

Felix’s stomach is churning as Dedue knocks on Manuela’s door. He wants nothing more than to go back to his dorm and take another nap but the fact that he wants that over going to the training grounds is enough to convince him that he needs this check-up. He doesn’t want to make a scene of being freaked out because he knows that will only make Lysithea and Annette feel worse. This really isn’t their fault, the spell probably wouldn’t have gone off if Felix hadn’t sneezed all over the book in the first place. He is pissed off, sure, but not at them.

Unfortunately for him, Manuela actually seems to be present and sober for once. Although her professional conduct seems to be just as lacking as ever. She gives them all a once over before stoping on Felix and his completely ridiculous hood.

“My, what an interesting group of people. What exactly brings you lot to my door?” Felix’s stomach does a particularly nauseating flip. He’s never liked the way she talks.

The other three all give Felix a look and he rolls his eyes before taking off his hood. Finally, his ears were getting really uncomfortable under there. Manuela’s eyes widen and he makes sure to scowl at her.

“Well, I suppose you better come in then. The rest of you wait outside or go back to whatever you were doing. This is probably going to take a while.”

Felix feels more like he’s walked into a prison sentence, as Manuela shuts the door behind him, then an infirmary and he almost wishes Dedue could be here with him since he’s pretty good rebuffing these sorts of thin-

“Alright hon, I’m gonna need you to strip.”

Huh? Felix’s brain stops and he looks at Manuela slack-jawed.

Manuela clicks her tongue at him. “Don’t give me that look, this isn’t a come on. This looks like some pretty serious transformation magic so I’m going to need to give you a full physical to try and make a record of everything that’s changed.”

“Is a full physical really necessary?” Felix cringes.

“Yes, Felix. In order to understand the extent of the changes it is very necessary.”

Felix groans but moves to start taking off his clothes none the less.

______________

After a gruelling two hours of tests that have left Felix in desperate need of a nap, he is finally released by Manuela with a file containing her initial results on Felix’s new physical nature and some suggestions he’s sure he’s going to ignore. To Felix’s surprise, Dedue is still waiting outside the infirmary although he has taken a seat on the ground and seems to have acquired some… sewing.

Dedue looks up from his project as the door opens. “Ah, you’re done. How did it go?” Dedue may be acting polite but Felix can tell it’s awkward for him. Probably because most of their previous conversations involved Felix yelling insults at him.

“That was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. However-” Felix gestures at the folder- “we now have a written record of all the know changes the spell made to me.” “That’s a great start,” Dedue nods. “The girls went to talk to Seteth to see if he knows anything useful.”

‘Why are you still here anyway? I thought you would’ve gone back to your master by now.” He would call Dedue a lap dog but he figures he has been helpful today so Felix might as well go easy on him.

Dedues face falls and Felix can’t help but feel little guilty, he hopes his ears don’t give it away. Sure it was unnecessary but he has a reputation to uphold. “I’m sure his Highness will manage to survive one day without me.” And there’s that calm dismissal that never fails to piss Felix off. His guilt quickly dissipates and he takes note of the way his tail seems to flick instinctually with his irritation.

Before the situation can devolve into a real argument, Lysithea and Annette come running up. It’s kinda mean but Felix thinks they look a bit like woodland creatures running around on their little legs.

“We spoke with Seteth!” Annette announces, out of breath.

“You do not need to run everywhere,” Dedue says with concern.

“We spoke to Seteth-” Lysithea continues- “And he said that book is actually a ‘Book of Mischief’ and that spell was to ‘reveal one’s inner creature’. So in other words, it’s a prank spell from a prank book.”

Felix sputters, “Wha- What do you mean ‘reveals one’s inner creature’?! Why the hell am I a cat!?” He should be something way cooler right? Like… like a wolf or something.

Dedue ignores Felix’s comment, “Did Seteth say anything about reversing this?”

“He said that he’d talk to Professor Hanneman and Linhardt about doing some research into reversing but for now all we can do is wait.”

So, in other words, Felix is going to be stuck like this for a while. He’s not really sure how to feel about that. There haven’t really been any negative side effects yet but it’s still freaking weird to be a person with various cat features. A voice in his head that sounds annoyingly like Ingrid and that he would rather ignore, says that this is karma for him always comparing other people to animals.

“Well…” Dedue looks down, “I suppose all that’s left to do now is to announce it to the rest of the house and the professor. It would hardly be practical for Felix to walk around all day wearing his hood.”

Dedue turns to Felix, “That reminds me, if you are willing to offer up your coat for a short time, I could sew some proper earholes into the hood so it’s not so uncomfortable.”

Felix takes a deep breath. These are the things he has to worry about now. Ear holes for his hoods, finger holes for his new claws, and probably holes in his pants for his tail. Being a cat/human hybrid seems to involve a lot of holes. It’s also going to involve a lot of explaining things, starting with the former Blue Lions

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #dedue fire emblem #annette fantine dominic #lysithea von ordelia #fe3h #the words of me #catboy Felix

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biohackerblogger-blog · 4 years

Text

Biohacking and Science: A solution for most of your problems

In this article I’m going to be discussing biohacking—what it is and the different aspects of human biology an individual can improve (or “hack”, if you want to call it that) to optimise their life and cognition. In the next blog I’ll discuss the specific improvements I’ve made in my life and their scientific justifications—with an in-depth focus on nutrition, supplementation and cognitive-enhancement.

Biohacking as defined by merriam-webster is “biological experimentation done to improve the qualities or capabilities of living organisms especially by individuals and groups working outside a traditional medical or scientific research environment”.

While that sounds dramatic, the term could also be described as do-it-yourself biology—making small, incremental changes to your diet, habits and life to optimise your cognition and life expectancy. This hobby likely originated in Silicon Valley, a place popular in many trendy self improvement hacks: The keto diet, intermittent fasting and microdosing to name a few.

We are living in an era of excess. Western supermarkets are packed full of processed, sugary, fatty products that people cling to as comfort food. Social media and smartphones have been tweaked to be as addictive as possible. Even television has been replaced by on-demand streaming services that provide countless hours of mindless oblivion to addicted viewers—so much so that “binge-watching” is now a recognized term in many dictionaries. This combination and more has led to the shortening of the average attention span.

Coincidentally, it feels like every other person in recent generations seems to suffer from some form of ADHD, depression or other mental health issues.

Me, technically a part of generation z, am no exception.

I’ve been an underperformer most of my school career, with every parent-teacher meeting ending the same way: “Alexandru is a very bright boy but he doesn’t seem to be reaching his potential in class.”

I daydreamed, lost focus often and was often unmotivated when tackling complex tasks. My mom has practiced psychiatry for 2 decades and during my last year of high school I saw one of her colleagues who eventually diagnosed me with ADHD.

This shook me. I had believed that I was just a lazy person, not working hard enough but now this doctor was basically telling me that it wasn’t my fault; That I had a learning disability that would always put me at a disadvantage to other “functional” people.

As I made my way through university the same issues kept coming up over and over again and I started feeling hopeless. Medication seemed to act as a bandaid on the problem, working as intended inconsistently. Is this what the rest of my life was gonna be like?—Craving achievement while lacking the motivation to acquire it?

Nahhhh, I wasn’t going to let some abstract diagnosis prevent me from prospering in life.

Enter biohacking:

In my spare time at uni I began researching ways of “curing” my ADHD. The goal: Improving my attention, motivation and cognition anyway I could. I’m a scientist, so it only made sense to solve my problems with science. Little did I know I wasn’t so much as curing a disorder as I was just finding ways to optimise my life using scientific knowledge. I tried different lifestyle changes and recorded the positive benefits of each one—Basically running my own scientific experiments on a sample size of 1. Biohacking is basically tweaking your biology to improve your life.

Diet

As I mentioned before, supermarkets today are full of horrible, delicious processed food. It’s expensive eating healthy and it’s difficult to resist the allure of a greasy portion of chips. Regardless, I think a large percentage of the population seriously underestimate how much your diet impacts your day-to-day life as a human being. A heavily debated study found that judges tended to give harsher sentences just before lunch due to hunger (This study has argued about for years). If even people who practice being impartial for a living are at the mercy of their own biology—that means so are you.

Your body is a complex machine, requiring certain amounts of macronutrients (protein, carbs, fats) and micronutrients (vitamins, minerals) to carry out all of it’s processes efficiently. If any of these numbers are skewed, the machine won’t run smoothly. You can optimise your diet in a number of ways depending on your goals, but the FDA and similar organizations provide recommendations as to how much of each nutrient an average individual requires in a day.

Many of the micronutrients have important roles in our day-to-day lives which becomes apparent when we are deficient. Magnesium plays a huge role in good-quality sleep while vitamin D is important for healthy bones and mood. The world health organisation provides guidelines for what they consider a healthy diet which contains healthy doses of all these nutrients. Obviously, we’re human, not superhuman and we can’t always have a perfect diet all the time. There’s no shame in supplementing your diet artificially, just don't use pills as a replacement for healthy eating habits. Getting blood work done can help you identify which vitamins and minerals you're deficient to inform your dietary changes or supplement purchases.

If you're looking to improve cognition, omega-3 fatty acids are a well-researched staple supplement that is found in high quantities in fish. I could write a whole article on cognitive enhancement and supplements—so I’ll save it for the next one.

If weight loss is your goal maybe consider reading up on the science of the keto diet (a fat heavy diet that pushes metabolism into burning fat) or experimenting with alternative eating habits like intermittent fasting. Hell, I hear great things about going vegan nowadays and you’d be saving the environment while you’re at it.

Play around with it, optimise it for your goals and give supplements a try.

Exercise

The NHS recommends 75-150 minutes of exercise a week for the average individual. Obesity continues to be a huge issue in this country and others so more still needs to be done to encourage public fitness. It seems that many people make the mistake of thinking of exercise as a distraction from more important things like careers and making money, especially as they get older. They say they’re simply too busy and can’t find the time but in reality they’re decreasing their potential to excel in other aspects of their lives. There’s no point in making money if you’re too fat and achy to enjoy spending it.

Exercise is important. As Socrates eloquently puts it:

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

Deep.

Endorphins produced by exercise make us feel great, we sleep better, we have more energy, we are more engaged with our work—Not a whole lot of downsides. For men in particular weight training is a very well-researched method or raising testosterone levels. A hormone my generation seems to be in significant lack of but in need of due to its important properties. Testosterone has anxiolytic properties, lubricates social interactions and is involved in providing an array of physical health benefits too.

Exercise is free, there are no downsides and a plethora of benefits. It doesn’t so much matter what type of exercise you’re doing so much as you’re doing it on a regular basis. It will suck, especially if you’re not accustomed to regular exercise but once you make it a habit (takes around 21 days to make something a habit), you’ll stop thinking about it and it’ll happen automatically.

Biohacking sure sounds a lot like self-improvement eh?

Sleep

In today’s day and age a good night’s sleep has become a rare treat. It’s like taking a gamble every night and hoping you wake up rested. As a student studying in the UK, I feel like I’m probably the most qualified person to say that. Sleep is very important for humans as pretty much all of our physical processes are regulated to some extent by our biological clock. A clock set by our circadian rhythm (Aka sleep cycle). Small perturbations to our sleep can seriously knock our daily rhythm out of line. Memories are written into your long term memory, waste products are flushed from the brain and the body readies itself for the new day. Everyone is aware their performance drops after a poor night’s sleep.

Here are some things you can do:

Humans need to go through about 4-6 sleep cycles per night to function adequately.

Sleep cycle = 90 minutes +/- 5 * 90m = 7.5 hours

Try to wake up after sleeping a multiple of 90 minutes. If you wake up during the middle of a cycle you’re more likely to feel groggy. 6 hours, 7.5 or 9 hours between bed and wake are what you’re looking for.

Avoid blue light before bed. I’m sure you’ve already heard this one but blue light from screens inhibits sleep. Try a blue light filter on your laptop—Flux is the free one I use and recommend.

Avoiding caffeine, sugar and carbs before bed works wonders for your sleep. A magnesium supplement does too.

Going to bed and waking up at the same time consistently will make sleeping easy and soon your whole body will adjust itself to the routine. The human body loves routine.

Anything else worth mentioning

Yes, meditation is a big one. Specifically mindfulness. If you haven’t already been preached to on the internet about the numerous benefits of meditation, it seems to improve pretty much everything about people.—The ultimate meta-habit for improving all aspects of living. It shows promise in ameliorating depressive symptoms, anxiety, self-control and a lot more.

The mobile app headspace provides a great starting point and for those that want a challenge and want to try their hand at a monk’s life check out Vipassana meditation. Their free week-long retreats are a crash course in mindfulness with lifelong benefits. I tried one this summer and was convinced it was a cult for the first 3 days.

I’ve seen huge improvement in my life after I started applying science to fix my problems. I hope I’ve managed to give an effective overview of my experience in biohacking and given you some well-researched places to get started. If you have a biological background I think it’s a shame not to use that background to optimise your life in every way you can.

Thanks for reading,

Alex

P.S. here’s a short rant:

I think (not all, but a lot) of the recent diagnoses of ADHD and depression could be “cured” by not treating it as an isolated malady caused by some bad genes and poor luck—but as a culmination of lifestyle choices and habits that could be improved upon. Exercise and diet should be the FIRST CHOICE intervention when it comes to treating things like ADHD and depression.

I believe diet and exercise should always precede a chemical solution to these ailments. There are hundreds of supplements and activities that have proven psychological benefits that could hugely benefit humans. Thanks again.

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scroll-of-thought · 5 years

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there’s someone living in my home at the moment who scrutinizes my every move, talks down to me, and dismisses my issues with depression when it comes to house stuff. I’m trying to get better, but at this point they won’t really listen to me and just seem to dismiss me as dumb and lazy. (they’re also a bit misogynistic to top) I’ve tried being civil and reasonable but this person is so against me it seems nothing will work. I’ve never used magic on someone else before but I’ve (1/2)

(2/2) tried and tried and this person seems to really hate me, or at least think badly of me no matter what. what would you do in this case? my mental health is being seriously affected and I don’t feel comfortable in my own home. I’m afraid of doing any housework for fear of angering this person and them writing more long messages about how I suck, how I am too forgetful, how I’m a dumbass. I need this to stop, and I want to feel at home in a place I pay for every month with hard earned money..

Sorry I didn’t see this last night! I've been really busy over the past few days and haven’t been online.

This sounds really rough. And I’ve seen people go through stuff like this all too often. First we’re going to go over some mundane solutions, and we’ll talk magick later. Firstly, it’s important to understand you probably can’t change a person like this with your own actions. Magick might be able to lessen their asshole-ness, but this seems like a deep seated problem in them. They’re this way because they’re a shitty person, and that’s no fault of your own, and trying to change their perspective is not only a tall order, for someone who’s actually qualified to work with them on a psychological level, but it’s also a tall order that would probably hurt you in the process of doing. If They’re belittling to your mental issues and a misogynist on top of that, they’re a lost cause. The goal here should be to lessen interaction with them, get out of the situation, or distance yourself from them as much as possible.

I don’t know the entire situation, but do they have any legal right to be there? Like, if they’re a roommate, but the lease isn’t in their name, you might be able to get them kicked out. If so, I’d look for another roommate and work on getting them kicked out. If it’s the other way around, and you can leave, I’d look into doing so as soon as you can. Find a new roommate, maybe ask friends or if you’re part of any support groups, see if anyone knows anyone who would be more understanding of your condition. Same thing goes for a therapist if you have one, they might have resources that could put you in contact with other’s who might be able to help you make those connections, and get out of that situation. If they’re family, then it might be trickier. But depending on your family, you might be able to take advantage of this. If you have sympathetic family members, go to them for help. Explain your situation, explain you’re trying and doing you best to get better, and explain that they are seriously hampering your healing process. Maybe they can talk (or shame) some sense into them. Another important thing to do, regardless of the situation, is to build a legal case. Just in case you need it. Make sure you have a paper trail for rent. Take pictures of notes they leave you. Save messages they send you. Keep all of it. I know this isn’t easy for some people, but if you can, get diagnosed with depression by a professional if you can. You never know when that can help you legally, like if they try to get you kicked out, or if they continue to harass you, or something like that.

And remember that you are paying to live there, with your hard earned money, and it’s your right to feel at home in that place. You aren’t dumb, and you’re certainly not lazy. I know how devastating depression can be, and how it can just erode your whole life around you. Just hang in there and know people like me and all the others who have been there are with you.

So let’s get to some magick :D That’s what this blogs about, right?

I’ve got a couple ideas. We’re going to take away some of their power to hurt you, try to help their disposition towards you, and we’ll try something to help cope with the depression.

First a classic binding spell.

You’re going to need: String (preferably black, but any will do) A picture of them (or we’ll make a taglock for them) Some alone time to do the spell.

If you don’t have a picture, you can simply write their whole name on a bit of paper, and if you have access to something like a bit of their hair from a brush, or something like that, it can help strengthen the connection. Simply put the hair in the paper with their name (you can tape or glue it if you want) and fold the paper up a few times, and you’ve got a taglock fitting for this simple spell.

Take your photo/taglock and wrap the string around it, starting from the front, holding it in place with your thumb, and wrapping it around behind the photo, and back to the front. Every loop you make say “[asshole’s name] I bind your power to hurt me. Your words can do no harm to me. Your malice can not injure me.” and wrap it up until you’re out of string or you’ve totally covered the photo/taglock. If it’s a photo I would make sure to at least cover the mouth as much as you can to shit him the fuck up. You’ll then tie off the string (you can also seal it with wax, or even glue if you want, but a simple knot is fine) and finish with “[Asshole], you are bound. This is my will. You can not hurt me.” (you can top it off with a “So mote it be/So I will it/Amen”, or whatever you want, if you want) and toss that shit in the trash. The spell is done, whatever happens to the taglock and string from here no longer matters. You’ve bound them and harming you should be more difficult and more taxing on them and even if they attempt to belittle you, you’ll notice it means a lot less to you than it did before, and they can go fuck themselves. Next, a Sweetening Jar. You’re going to need: A jar or similar container A photo/taglock/petition Honey/syrup/etc. (optional) Some herbs for different effects, like rosemary for protection, lavender(or maybe weed?) to make this guy chill the fuck out, or whatever else you want to customize this one with.

Sweetening jars are typically used by many online witches for love spells, but they’re versatile and also great just changing someone’s opinion about you and making them like you more, or even just bringing peace between people. An alternative would be a freezer spell, where you literally put the spell in the freeze to make them chill the fuck out, but as you’re living together, you probably don’t want them finding the spell when they’re digging around in the freezer for food.

Also I’m going to note that there are a bunch of different ways to do this kind of spell, from lots of different traditions. Some of the better known versions online are from Hoodoo, Dominican root work, and other ethnic magicks. You’re your interested in those things, obviously do your research, be respectful to the traditions they come from, generally just use your head and best judgement if you do further reading on this. My version of this spell is super simple and doesn’t draw from any specific tradition, more so just standard symbology and force of will magick. Take your jar, and put a thin layer of honey in the bottom. Layer in the picture/taglock. Many different versions of this spell will have you wait until the end to do the spoken elements of the spell, but I like to start mine here, and I’m going to do it in an unorthidox manner. Simply start talking to the person and tell them how you feel and what’s going on. “[Asshole], this is a sweetening spell. Our relationship will improve. You’re going to chill out so I can stop calling you “Asshole” with those silly square brackets. You’re going to be more understanding and sympathetic to me. Etc, Etc.” Feel free to sprinkle in some of your “dude, chill out” herbs at this stage. Cover with more honey as your having your conversation, until you feel they’re covered enough. Mix in a layer of protection herbs when you hit any talking points on them leaving you alone. This is their time to listen, for you to tell their soul they need to stop, and for your will to shape the way they’ll begin to treat you from now on. Take that jar when you’re done with it, and stick it somewhere out of the way. Under a bed, in a closet, somewhere of no consequence. If things start to take a dip, take the jar out, tell it “Remember what we talked about” and put it back. Finally for the depression.

Honestly, if I had a cure all spell for this, I would use it right fucking now. I am going to point you in the way of my sigil tutorial and suggest you give it a read and maybe make a sigil to help you through the rough spots, or many sigils to help at different parts. I made a sigil for “I can complete my task” and turned that sigil into an amulet, and that thing has kicked me out of bed to do what has to be done, regardless of how badly I just want to stay in bed all day. Make one for “My depression has no grasp on me”, “I’m stronger than my depression”, “I have the power to complete my job” or whatever you need. So here’s a link to that tutorial (part 1, link to part to in the post).

Also advice, just as one depressed witch to another. Some of the mundane tips actually help. Like exercise. I heard “oh, go exercise and you’ll feel better!” and I was like “fuck you, you think I can get out of this bed, let alone go for a walk, when I just kind of want to stop existing? You’re fucking mad.” But that shit works. I hate it, but it works. Like, just going out for a walk and getting moving dramatically improved my state. So force yourself to give that a shot, if you can.

Another thing that helps me is positive, constructive hobbies that give a sense of achievement. Especially crafts. Making things, carving a wooden spoon, drawing something, knitting, whatever. It’s like renewed life blood when you’re feeling like shit. Taking a little blob of oven baked clay and sculpting a shitty little mushroom, but then looking at it and being like “fuck, I made this little shroom mother fucker. I’m going to take a sharpy and draw eyes on it. Shit, I made a little friend.” It’s so mentally refreshing, especially when you’re feeling super low. And I think part of it is just proving that you can do something. It’s small, sure, but you’re not finished. And that’s just the kind of empowerment you need in moments like that. It’s helped me dramatically many times over the years. And send me picture if you do pick up a crafty hobby, because I love literally all crafts and I want to see it.

Ok, well, sorry that turned into a super long post, but I hope it helps you out. Again, just know you’re not alone in any of this. Life sucks, but at least it sucks for a lot of us, and we’ve all got each other for when it gets bad. Feel free to message me anytime, and I’ll try to respond faster next time.

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noona-clock · 5 years

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Study: Park Jaehyung

In which we dig deeper under the surface of our favorite KPOP idols.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gifs used in this post. I am not an astrologer nor am I a professional psychologist. These are my opinions based on the research I have done personally/as a hobby. If you disagree with any of these statements, please do so respectfully.

-Admin B

Sun Sign: Virgo (Earth)

I have said this before, and I will say it again. Here. Very definitively and very proudly. I love Virgos. I have two favorite signs other than my own sun sign (Aquarius) - Virgo and Libra. My rising sign is Virgo, and my sister’s moon sign is Virgo, so I am surrounded by this lovely Earth sign in my everyday life.

Virgos are known, probably first and foremost, for their organization. They love to get shit done. While Jae may not be the most organized Virgo (as we’ll see in his MBTI), he does know how to get shit done. He’s probably a better promoter of Day6 than most anyone else, and he will do what he can to get his band’s name out there. Virgos are also known to be dedicated and hard-working, so basically, Jae the Promoter is also Jae the Virgo.

In addition to being organized and dedicated and hard-working, Virgos also tend to be very witty. And... I mean, do I even have to point out that trait in Jae? He definitely has a way with words and hashtags, and if his tweets don’t make you laugh... I don’t know what to tell you.

Virgos are ruled by Mercury, which is the planet of communication, so it all really makes sense. He’s great at communicating in just about any form - Twitter, YouTube/vlogs, as an MC, during concerts - so he can thank his Virgo placement for that! But another part of that is using words to be critical. I remember Bernard Park saying he can trust Jae to be honest and give him constructive criticism; I was totally not surprised to hear that because he’s a Virgo. (Remember, I said my sister is a Virgo moon, so I’m around this sign every day of my life! I know it pretty well!)

Each sign is ruled by a planet, but also by a specific body part. Virgos are ruled by the stomach/digestive system. Jae is lactose intolerant. Coincidence? Maybe, but it could also be because he’s a Virgo!

Moon Sign: Taurus (Earth)

Now, I find it very interesting that Jae is a double Earth sign. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was a Gemini moon ONE BIT, but a Taurus moon? I was a little surprised!

Let me talk about the ruling planet and body part of Taurus first because once I realized these, I was NOT surprised. The ruling planet is Venus which is the planet of beauty. The ruling body part is the throat. And... who has an amazingly beautiful singing voice? Yep. Jae. *wipes hands* I’m done here.

Just kidding, I’m not done. Taurus is like Virgo in that they’re known for being organized and dedicated, but they’re also a lot more patient, romantic, and they’re also a little more materialistic than Virgos. They really like to collect things, and they value luxury - they like to spend their money on good quality things. Jae has mentioned several times that he’s broke, but we all know he loves him some lobster. And he does have nice clothes, wouldn’t you say? He likes to wear Jordans and Timberlands and Nike, and while those aren’t necessarily luxury brands, they are to someone who’s broke!

I also want to touch on the romantic part of being a Taurus. To be quite honest, I don’t see Jae being that romantic as a boyfriend. But the first thing that popped into my head was the video of him introducing his instrument. He got super profound and - yes - romantic when he talked about the guitar. He’s not romantic in the traditional sense, but he’s got some romantic bones in that tall, lanky body.

Chinese Astrology: Water Monkey

Monkeys in the Chinese Zodiac, like in life, are known to be intelligent, observant, and hard-working people. They’re curious but also disciplined, especially when it comes to their career. I already discussed how Jae is very devoted to promoting Day6 in whatever way he can. And even though he’s known to have written the worst paper ever in one of his high school classes, he’s obviously very intelligent.

Water Monkeys, specifically, are a little more sensitive than other Monkeys, though they do tend to hide their emotions. They’re also very original and tend to be innovative problem solvers. They will find ways to work around things instead actually working through them. I remember Jae saying once that he tends to really focus on finding the solution for a problem instead of getting bogged down in the problem itself, and that right there is his Water Monkey talking loud and clear.

Numerology: Life Path 9

In numerology, 9 is seen as the most evolved with the strongest vibrations because it’s basically all of the other numbers wrapped up together. Life path numbers are only single digit, so 9 is seen as kind of like the Top Dog? It’s the highest number possible when it comes to this sort of numerology, so it’s seen to be the oldest and wisest.

Those born with the life path number 9 are, in turn, seen to be old souls. They’re here to really develop spirituality, integrity, and wisdom in every aspect of our lives. 9s also possess a higher purpose to inspire others. I know most people only see Jae as a meme, but if you read through his Twitter, you will definitely see bouts of wisdom. He does seem like he’s pretty spiritual, and I, for one, would feel very comfortable going to him for advice about something.

Probably the most important piece of advice for a 9 is to go with the flow. Don’t get stuck in the past and learn to live in the present and embrace the future. Something I’ve really noticed about Jae is that he gets embarrassed by choices he’s made in the past (see: his reaction to anyone bringing up his KPOP Star days/looks/outfits). If I were to meet Jae and had the chance to tell him just one thing, I’m pretty sure I would tell him to just let go of the past. Own up to all the embarrassing shit and shrug it off. Or, better yet, laugh it off. And worry about the choices you’re making now - try not to make choices you’ll want to forget in the future.

MBTI: INTP

Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving

Jae is Introverted. Apparently. In two of the Every Day6 magazines, the members chose which types they THOUGHT they were before their ACTUAL types were revealed after being professionally tested. Jae typed himself as an E but his result turned out to be an I. It’s my belief that he’s definitely not extremely introverted. Most likely, the balance between I and E for him is pretty close. I do notice that he can be very quiet sometimes, though I do think he’s an outgoing introvert (who borders on being an extrovert). So, while I was surprised to see he typed as an I, I bet you it’s just by a little.

Jae is Intuitive. This means he’s able to see the big picture of situations and imagine the possibilities of the end result. He can think abstractly and doesn’t need to experience something in order to think about how it might turn out.

Jae is Thinking. He trusts his head over his heart, and he uses logic and reason to make decisions rather than what he wants/what he’s feeling. Like his introversion preference, I think Jae probably has a pretty good balance between Thinking/Feeling. When he typed himself, he chose both T and F, so this is kind of a clear sign he’s not totally Thinking. But seeing that he’s a Virgo sun, it’s not really surprising that he is a Thinking individual.

Jae is Perceiving. This preference tells us how he interacts with the outside world, and being a Perceiving individual means he goes with the flow. He’s more spontaneous, and he doesn’t mind living in a little bit of chaos. I was actually a bit surprised to see he was Perceiving, but I feel like this could be his Taurus moon coming through. A Taurus can definitely be organized, but it’s not their main focus like a Virgo.

The INTP is known as the Logician. They pride themselves on being inventive, creative, and having a unique perspective. They are enthusiastic and capable when it comes to spotting problems and coming up with solutions.

Other Studies: Park Sungjin, Kang Younghyun, Kim Wonpil, Yoon Dowoon

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capshorty · 5 years

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11/11 (Make A Wish) Tag

Another tag game! Yes! I was tagged by @minnowf.

Rules: Answer the 11 questions of the person who tagged you; make up 11 questions; tag 11 people to answer them.

1. What is your favorite book on writing / place to get writing tips?

This question I can answer immediately, with no hesitation whatsoever. It’s probably one of the most common answers today, but that’s just because it’s so good. Stephen King’s On Writing is absolutely my go-to book for everything writing related, and also the book that I carry with me to read when the random time to do so arises. Part memoir, part instruction on writing, amazing all the way through. As for places to get tips, Tumblr is where I tend to stumble upon the most and some of the best I’ve seen.

2. What do you want to improve on in your writing right now?

This is a tough one. In general, description, and when/where to use it. If I don’t think consciously about it, at least to an extent, it will basically be non-existent. If I think too hard about it, then I put in way too much. As opposed to things like dialogue, which probably isn’t amazing but at least comes naturally to me. As for my original writing, confidence is a big one for me right now. Fanfiction comes so natural to me; I never second guess the solidity of my writing when it’s fanfiction (perhaps I should a bit more, but I don’t). Original stuff terrifies me and I doubt it so much more.

3. Describe for me your ideal writer’s nook.

This is a difficult one. Hm. Somewhere cozy, for sure. Somewhere where I can curl up, with a table for me to have snacks and such nearby, preferably somewhere I can see nature and where there’s no distractions (aka people) whatsoever. If I could have one of those little window seat nooks with like pillows and blankets just built in to the wall of like a library or something, like the kind of thing you see or read about in books/movies, I would adore that.

4. Do you have a writing ritual? If so, what is it? If not, why?

Why do I not have a writing ritual? I dunno. Probably should, but I really don’t. I can’t honestly say that there’s anything I do or don’t do every time I write, or even most of the time. When and how I write is just so unpredictable that up til now having a ritual has been kind of impossible.

5. What are some of your hobbies outside of writing?

Hm. Reading, obviously, is a huge one for me, though I tend to go through patches where I either read a lot or write a lot, and somehow never manage to do both at the same time. Outside of that, music is a huge hobby for me. I sing (decently), like a lot. I daydream enough it ought to count as a hobby.

6. Which of your stories has made the greatest impact on you? How?

I’d have to say the first story I ever wrote made the biggest impact on me, because that was my first moment where I was realized that writing was a viable thing that I could do and something I liked to do very much. Second to that, Undercover Disaster probably would be the next greatest, just because it was the first massive project that I ever completed that I felt was actually quality and like it could stand on its own, not as a fanfiction (even though the original I am referencing here was in fact a fanfiction. But the point is if I’d changed the characters names you’d never have guessed that.)

7. Which color/s would best represent your WIPs?

Well, let’s see. If I’m going with the ones I’m currently trying to focus on, then there’s a few. Little Red would, for obvious reasons, be varying shades of red - for blood, for violence, for Red’s hair, for passion. Exile is a difficult one, because there’s so much going on there. I’d have to say purple, for a mix of the whites and blues and reds; blue for the adventures, the waters and the skies that will connect everything, red for the passion and brutality again, white for the possibilities of where it can go, not only in the future but in second draft stage as I reach it. Only time will tell for Undercover Disaster as I start to redraft it - I have no idea what will stay and what will go as it transitions from FF to original. With time travel I immediately think black - because black kind of consumes all other colors, and encompasses everything, and this story has a little bit of everything, all surrounded by the changing circumstances of hopping through time and space. And if the void of time and space isn’t black, what color is it?

8. Have you ever written fanfiction? If so, on what? If not, why?

I suppose I’ve accidentally answered this question a few times now. Yes, I’ve written a crap ton of fanfiction - maybe two crap tons - and it definitely outnumbers my original attempts at least twenty to one. Fanfiction is what I started on and I don’t know that I’ll ever quit writing it, regardless of whether I quit posting it or not. Most of what I’ve written has been for Artemis Fowl because I absolutely adore and hate it. I’ve dabbled a few others, however, notably the Legend of Zelda, a bit of Alex Rider fanfiction that never quite made it online, some Kingfountain (conceptually; apparently I’m one of the only ones who knows these books exist, so I never got very far on that), and recently I’ve read and fell in love with Throne of Glass, so I’m working on something for that as well.

9. What do you believe are the greatest influences on your writing?

On my writing today? Most of what formed my style and preferences were things I read, whether it be books or fanfiction, good or bad. Media doesn’t play much part with me, since Tumblr is just about the only thing I use regularly and most of my ideas come from either spinoffs or AUs of stories I’ve read or two or three random things that just happen to come together in my head and make something semi-coherent. So yeah, I’d have to go with things I’ve read, and also my surroundings.

10. What’s a story you could have written better than their original writers?

Well. Um. I feel like no matter how you answer a question like this, you’ll make someone mad, so I’ll just be honest here. I already stated how I love/hate Artemis Fowl, because I love the concepts and the characters and how the author started out and then it just all kind of went downhill after book 3 in my opinion. Given the same number of books he was, I definitely feel like I could have done a better job, or at least I could improve upon the job he did. Even if I could only touch the end of the eighth book alone, I feel like I make it so much better. But maybe that’s just me being bitter.

11. If you got to go anywhere on a research trip for one of your stories, where would you go, what would be your agenda, and which story would you be researching?

This question is kind of wasted on me, and for that I am sorry. But I’d be lying if I said it was really about researching anything for writing, because a lot of my stuff isn’t the type of thing I could just take a trip and do research about, as the things I really would need to research either don’t exist (yet) or existed in the past. So, if I were taking a trip I wanted to be conducive to writing, I’d probably want to go to Ireland, or to Maine in the US. Reasons being that nature-y/green places are so inspiring to me, and because some of my favorite writers live in or came from those places.

Tagging: @the-evanescent-inkwell @mistbornvinventure @shadowfire71-writes @hoofgirl @thel3tterm @somedeadmagic @jynecca @writeness @ofinscriptions @mischiefiswritten @coloursintheblur

Questions for YOU!

1. How old were you when you realized writing was something you wanted to do? How old were you when you actually started doing it?

2. What are your favorite fandoms? Do you read or write fanfiction for any of them?

3. What was your first story idea that you really felt was solid?

4. What’s your best solution for getting over writer’s block?

5. What book(s)/author(s) have you read that you think of influenced your writing most?

6. Which of your story was/is the easiest to write? Which was the hardest?

7. What are some of your favorite tropes to read/write?

8. If you could date ANY fictional character, who would it be?

9. What are some of your favorite things to do outside of writing?

10. Where would be your ideal place to live?

11. What’s the most underrated book you’ve ever read? Most overrated?

Have fun everyone! :D

#writing #tag game #fandoms #fanfiction #ff #ffs #my writing #11/11

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booknerdphd · 5 years

Text

One thing that I have struggled with over the past month or so is getting back to studying after two years of working a corporate jobs. Before starting office, I was a study fiend- I always found it easy to focus and I was good at getting lost in my books. I wasn’t necessarily good at taking exams based on rote learning (which was most exams, tbh), but I was always good at retaining information and working out concepts- which is obviously useful in a PhD.

Now, take into account that when I say studying, I don’t necessarily only mean in the sense of studying for an exam, or making sure you keep up with what happens in class. My program hasn’t started yet, but I’ve been working on a paper, and I personally think that the motivation you need to work towards a paper and the motivation you need to study often needs the same kind of kickstarters.

So, what are my suggestions?

Music

Are you the kind of person who likes listening to music as they work? Or do you have a preference for ambient sounds? Personally, I quite enjoy music when I work. I used to prefer a lot of jazz and coffeehouse music back in my undergrad days, but of late, my preferred music is often lo-fi music. I tend to prefer very long playlists, which is why I’m personally quite fond of 8tracks! Its a great app/website that lets you make your own playlists and listen to other’s mixes. I’ve found a treasure trove of music there.

The link to my main 8track account is here. I considered making a separate one for this but it would take too long. So have fun with the fun mix of my fandom mixes and study mixes. There, you’ll find my collection of mixes I use to study (which I will be actively updating over the next few weeks) as well as study mixes I have created, should you decide to listen to them.

On the other hand, if you have a preference for ambient sounds or just like listening to the sound of the sea or fire crackling, etc. I think there’s a post on my page with a bunch of apps for this. Link

The Sound of A Cafe

So, do you, like me, need to save up and cannot keep going to Starbucks every day to get work done? Well, my friends, let me inform you of my favorite website!

There is a ton of science behind this apparently (which I am sad to say I have not personally gone through), but regardless, this site is my all time favorite to use when I study. I usually have a mix playing in the background and then play the sounds of a cafe through this site.

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO COFFITIVITY, THE WEBSITE THAT LETS YOU PRETEND YOU HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE/HAVE THE INCOME TO BE AT A CAFE AT ALL TIMES!

I quite literally use this every single day, to be honest, and it helps a lot.

Knowing How To Start

This sounds silly, doesn’t it? If I knew how to start, wouldn’t I have done it already? But no, I mean this in a slightly different way.

So, let me give you an example from what I was going through.

I have a set of papers I need to read, take notes on and analyse, which I then provide to my team. Now, over the past few weeks, when I was still working at office, I was really struggling with this. Why?

Other than the whole still-working thing, my main issue was that I was doing every item in the task at the same time. I would read the paper with the aim of writing and analyzing immediately, but that isn’t how our brain necessarily works. You can’t expect a good analysis to come out of such an approach.

So I went back to what I had done for the first paper I worked on- and I realized that I sat and read the whole paper, page by page, without any intent to immediately finish my task.

This is what I mean by knowing how to start- you can’t hit the ground running, your brain simply doesn’t work like that. It’s like running on to the ice rink without having done a few rounds to get your balance. Those few rounds help you start settling into the task, and that is when you will work your best.

It might take time, but at the end of it, you come out feeling far more productive.

Incentives

Now, I hate this, because feeling productive is an incentive by itself. I used to love the feeling of knowing I had gotten things done as per my plan. It was weird, but it gave me great pleasure knowing I had done it, that I was proud of what I had done.

But.

If you’re reading this, maybe you, like me, have been on a break for a few years. Or maybe you took a long vacation and now don’t know how to come back.

So, when you have the mindset of task in- task out, a mentality that often sets in when you’ve spent so long (like me) in a corporate job, it is honestly a little difficult to get back into the groove of things. Same for when you take a nice relaxing holiday, and need your brain to get back to it.

So, my tip? Create incentives. I’ve been doing this for both my studying and my attempts at getting back to reading as a hobby. That outing you wanted to go for with your friend? You can only go if you get this particular task done. That sweet you were saving? Have it once you finish reading this.

It’s not a long-term solution, by any means. Please don’t use it as a long term because productivity can’t be a transaction, it never works out well if you try that approach.

But I think, if you’re just trying to get your groove back, it doesn’t hurt to use incentives to push yourself in the right direction. Once you feel comfortable in doing it without the push of an external force, then wean yourself off of it and you’ll be fine.

#my posts #helpful #gradblr #langblr #bookblr #phdblr #studyblr #how to study #studying #get back to it #academia #university #phd #graduate student

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gboxventspace · 3 years

Text

Inner Dialogue

I always have an inner dialogue going on with multiple points of view and arguments, often overlapping. When I’m high, these voices slow down enough that I can understand them better, and sometimes recognize which parts of me they’re coming from, which helps me to look critically at their motivations.

The following started as notes to read to my therapist next session from a high realization I had, and it turned into a written dialogue in therapy style. I’m posting it here for me to read at some point in the future, whether for my therapist or for myself.

“Confidence. Right now, I am not confident in my ability to handle discomfort in any form; when it’s hard, I feel like I can’t cope. I am also afraid that I will fail, and that the people I care about will judge me. It is irrational; the people I care about, also care about me.

I view things in black and white, good and bad. If something is Bad, no matter how bad it actually is, I will feel like I am Suffering, and the only solution is to stop the thing or Suffer indefinitely. When something is Good, I am familiar with it, I am confident in my ability to handle it, and confident that those around me will not judge, and so even if it’s difficult, it is not a Bad Thing.

Why does it matter if I fail? Because even if people say failure is mandatory, it is still embarrassing in the moment, and I don't want that.

Why is it embarrassing? I feel like they're judging me secretly, the way I judge people before reminding myself not to think that way.

Why does it matter? If moments like that happen too often, they pile up and lead to resentment, but they Care about me and therefor will deny it if I say something.

Why is it your responsibility to control their opinion of you? It's my responsibility because, in my philosophy, if you want something done and nobody's doing it, do it yourself.

Why do you care if they stay, if they won't put in the work to not resent you (communicating)? Because I'm afraid to be alone, when I don't feel like I can handle the world without constant support and spotting.

Is there anything a loved one could say or do to reassure you? I don't think so; no matter what they say, if I think that it's prompted by my behavior, I will believe that I've manipulated them into saying it.

How can you challenge that belief? I can continue to remind myself that I cannot read their minds, and that they are their own people who are responsible for their own choices and opinions. If they are unable to communicate to me that resentment is building, that is not my responsibility. It is also not my responsibility to try and monitor their opinion of me in general.

Which will matter more to you on your death bed: how many people had a good opinion of you, or what you chose to do and experience in your own life? Obviously the latter; ideally, I should see the world as my oyster, seize the day and charge towards my goals!

What would that look like for you? I don't know; I'm comfortable in my life right now, but not content.

What are some things that might help you feel content? Continuing my hands-on hobbies, such as painting (on canvas, on computer, on my walls, or by number), and in the long term, I want to successfully live on my own at some point, whether at school or in an apartment.

What would "success" in that look like for you? Being able to maintain my occupation (work or school) over a long period of time, as well as my health in all aspects, and manage the basic necessities of living away from my parents.

Why don't you take a leap of faith and go back to school, where that structure is handed to you? Because last time I tried that, I returned to being suicidal and self destructive and desperate to escape the Suffering that was that life, despite looking back at individual events and seeing that there was also plenty of good.

Why do think you felt that way? It was really hard to maintain the energy necessary to do well in my classes, and trying to do so became unbearable.

What about moving out to an apartment now and working? With childcare pay, in this economy? Get real.

Plenty of people do it with less. I'm afraid to; what if I fail? I might lose my apartment and have Failed. I might have food scarcity, and that very idea terrifies me. I might lose a big important job.

Why not ask for help if those situations arise? That feels like admitting that I failed.

And? If I fail too many times and keep asking for help, resentment will grow, etc. and I might lose that support.

Why does it matter, if you're too afraid to use that support anyway? Because at least, if I spend my life striving not to get too many strikes against me, I can always have them as a last line in an emergency. Besides, these are people who also help me in so many other ways, and losing them would be losing everything.

So you feel like their love and support is conditional on your success? Not entirely; they've made it clear they'll love me no matter what, but you can love and resent someone at the same time, like I do my mother.

Ah, it always comes back to the parents, eh? I hate that my problems boil down to cliches.

Why is it bad to be cliche? People will judge me- right, we already discussed that. It’s Cringey, but I know cringe culture is bad and everything, I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

What’s your takeaway from this? That I wasn’t on the right medication at the time, and more than likely, those same situations will be more tolerable once I find the right chemical balance stuff.

What about aside from medication? I really don’t know; when I’m in those situations, it genuinely feels intolerable, and nothing I’ve tried for non-destructive coping works long term. The only reason the destructive coping works is because I sabotage the bad situation until it’s done and I escape The Suffering. I don’t know how to cope with an unbearable situation that I can do little to alleviate.

School and work don’t have to be all-or-nothing things; you can do menial jobs that don’t stress you out the same, or online school? I’m afraid that the self destructive part of me will still find a way to make those things seem Bad, which will flip that mental switch and it will be Intolerable Suffering and I’ll fail or quit eventually, which just leaves me feeling like a failure and in an even worse emotional state.

Sounds like you need to focus on those internal things first then; confidence and positive coping skills. What, like I haven’t been trying for the last several years? Genuinely trying, at least as far as I can tell? Obviously I doubt myself sometimes, think that I’m just being a crybaby and faking it all for attention, so much so that I even trick myself into believing that it’s genuine, and-

Yeah alright maybe medication is important here. And continuing to remind myself of these same facts, over and over again, these same mantras until I brute force my brain into believing them, but it hasn’t happened yet so will it ever? Will I be stuck in a constant state of maintenance for the rest of my life? Will I ever truly feel like I’m in control of my own life and mind?

What if you don’t? Then the cycle repeats.

I’m so tired. They say this doesn’t last forever; everybody feels like this at our age. ...But that means what I’m feeling isn’t original, and therefor I have no right to complain about it ever, because everyone else also goes though this exact same situation-

Is that true? I know it’s not true! It still feels that way though! If other people Suffer more than me and deal with it like adults, then I should be able to, too.

How do you know they deal with it any better than you do? Because other people are capable of getting degrees and holding down full time jobs.

You’re capable of that too, with enough accommodations, support, and time. It’s unrealistic to expect the real world to bend over backwards for my needs. If I can’t adapt to the world, then I don’t deserve to be a part of it.

There’s that confidence issue again. Pesky little shit.

What’s the conclusion here? Keep trying to find better ADHD medication, and keep working on my confidence, as well as continuing to practice positive coping skills instead of following self destructive impulses (which adhd meds would also help with). Also keep practicing re-evaluating situations that seem black or white and look for what generalizations or assumptions you might be making that make this harder than it needs to be.

Should I even post this, or share it with Hayley? Or keep it like a diary entry rather than seeking external validation for it? Just let me live and overshare pls”

August 22, 12:04 am

#another perk of posting stuff like this #is that I can read back through my big revelations later #and see how many times i just end up saying the same things over and over in different ways #while never actually getting better

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lovenotesuggestions · 6 years

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🐧 1/2 : i need some relationship advice please. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we live together now, and he has a fair amount of friends, and I literally have none. So my problem is that he plays games online with his friends all the time and often they chat out loud with headsets and everything too, and it makes me so mad because I feel so left out and jealous and annoyed. Because he's always laughing, sharing his day, and bonding with them instead of me. And he always

🐧 2/2 : he always says that because he chose to live with me and share his life with me it's obvious how important I am and I shouldn't be upset over it, but I can't help it. I don't want to be the person to say he can't do things with his friends but I don't know what else to do.

Feeling jealous, especially in that situation, is a normal response to the situation that you’re in, and it’s okay to feel that way as a result of your loneliness. You are right that feeling that way isn’t something that you can control, however you can control the way that you respond to it. It’s good that you’re communicating with him about your feelings, and it’s important to try and listen to his reassurances and internalise them - remember the things he’s said when you’re feeling down. Even if you can’t control the jealousy, you can remind yourself logically that him spending time with his friends doesn’t mean he loves you any less. Also, remember the way you’re feeling not being able to interact with friends - I’m sure you don’t want him to feel that way by preventing from spending time with his friends.

Whatever you do, I would really strongly advise you not to ask him not to spend time with his friends. That’s the quickest way to alienate him, and possibly even lose him too. Having been in a relationship with a jealous partner who responded poorly to his jealousy and tried to limit my contact with my friends myself, I can tell you from the other side of the situation that being controlling in that way just made me resent my ex and didn’t actually make him feel any better, and it was one of the motivating factors in me deciding to end that relationship. Whilst you can’t help feeling the way that you do, you can help your response to it, and instead of responding to it negatively, you should be aware of the issue and try and respond to it in a constructive way. Instead of looking for a solution that might make your partner feel worse, try to find things that might make you feel better, for instance, consider:

First and foremost, consider speaking to a therapist or counsellor or doctor about finding healthy ways to cope with your feelings, and address any underlying issues that might prevent you from making new friends like anxiety that might cause you to avoid social situations.

Taking the plunge and getting out there to try and make new friends. I know it’s easier said than done, but a great place to start is looking for things in your local area that you can go to, maybe something you’ve been interested in doing, for instance looking for low-cost classes in your area (things like baking classes, pottery classes, life-drawing classes, comedy classes etc. are all good places to meet people and learn a new skill whilst you’re at it). There are also things like open mic nights, pub quizzes, poetry readings, comedy clubs, where you could go to try and speak to people. Something I’ve really enjoyed doing is going to improvised comedy clubs, because everyone is very friendly and extroverted and it’s easy to get talking to them, and learning improvising techniques can often improve your confidence. If there’s a class or club in your area, I’d highly recommend giving it a try. Remember that your issue isn’t with the fact that your partner has friends, the issue is that you’re struggling to make them yourself, and the only way to do this is to be proactive. If you’re worried and anxious about it, you could go to these things with your partner so he can support you, and if he’s more extroverted or confident than you then he might be able to help you get talking to people.

If you’re struggling to make friends in person, it may be easier to do this online. Consider making posts in your fandom tags or on your blog letting followers know you’d like to chat with them, look out to see if there are any group chats or discord servers for any fandoms or interests you have that you could join and meet people, going on the forums for any online games you play, or messaging people on tumblr for instance who have the same interests as you. Tumblr is often a good place to make new friends because people are often comfortable with you just jumping into their direct messages and yelling about some mutual interest you have with no introductions or formalities. It can be scary to start conversations, but once you’ve taken that plunge, it’s totally worth it to have some of the friendly interactions you’ve been craving.

Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns and see if there are any ways you could make friends through him, for instance joining him playing online games, or going out with him when he goes to see his friends.

If you’re feeling insecure in your relationship, try finding some time to dedicate to one another, maybe doing things like scheduling regular date nights where you concentrate on each other - it doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive, it could just be going to a cheap restaurant together, cooking something together, sitting on the couch in your pajamas together and watching a movie with some nice snacks, etc.

Distract yourself whilst he’s playing online games with his friends so that you can help control the jealousy. Consider listening to music or watching a TV show or something you’ve been meaning to watch so you can’t hear him talking to his friends, taking up a new hobby, starting a new book you’ve wanted to read, or even trying out some games yourself that you could meet people by playing. Engage in plenty of self-care, or do something productive like housework to give yourself a sense of accomplishment and don’t let yourself dwell on the jealousy. Instead of responding negatively, try to make something positive from the experience instead.

I know it can be difficult, but obviously you’re in a place where you can’t really continue in this situation anymore, and if you’re aware of that then you can take action to try and fix the situation constructively and positively, rather than allowing your jealousy to make you do things that would hurt your partner, and in the worst case scenario, could even cause you to lose him. He obviously loves you and cares about you more than anyone else, and I know you wouldn’t want to hurt him by inflicting the same feelings you have on him. Jealousy can make us feel and want to behave in an irrational way, and you’ve said you don’t want to be that person, so don’t be that person. This is a situation that can be fixed in a positive way, even if it’s difficult and scary, you’re obviously in a place that’s not sustainable anymore, and something has to give and it shouldn’t be your relationship with your partner. If you’re struggling with taking those steps to improve your situation, I would definitely recommend going to a therapist or counsellor even if you don’t feel you’re struggling with a mental illness, and they might be able to help you to make those first steps and start you on a pathway to feeling better and solving some of these feelings of resentment without hurting your partner. If you make some resolutions with your partner about what you’re going to do to try and improve your situations, I’m sure he’ll be able to help you and support you through that.

I hope you can find a way out of this situation and feel better soon💕

#advice #negative /#long post #not a suggestion #i love queue #Anonymous #answered

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dxmedstudent · 6 years

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A lot of people talk about various cuts and changes that negatively affect doctors and nurses, often in a 'the government are killing the NHS so they can privatise' thing, but there's one thing I don't get. Do the government and higher ups not realise that of there aren't any doctors or nurses there... Aren't any doctors and nurses? For anyone?

Well, that’s a question and a half! I apologise in advance that this is going to be a long and rambling answer, but I do feel that a bit of background on the NHS would help it all make sense. I guess the answer would depend on just how much into conspiracy theories you are, and what your overall view of the government there is. We all differ in what we think, and just how much we trust politicians, but I urge each and every person to just take their time and consider what ANY person’s motivations may be. Politically, financially, personally, when thinking about their actions. Never assume people intend to do the worst, but neither assume people are always trying to do the best, either. Because people are complicated. Obviously, I think most sensible people would agree that less doctors and nurses are a problem. However, I doubt that most people could agree exactly what to do about it, especially if they had to spend money to make it happen. The way that our workforce changes is complex, and governed by a lot of different things going on with the NHS...Short Term GoalsSee, the government is only usually in power for 2-3 terms, then it becomes the opposition’s problem to sort out. So politicians are incentivised to focus on short term ratehr than long term solutions. You’ll notice politics is all about fiddling around with stuff, but it appears that we keep having to reform everything; reforms to health, reforms to education; politicians are frequently announcing that their party are gonna revolutionise and fix things. Every party wants to be able to say that they’ve delivered some of the promises they made to be voted in during the last election, and fiddling around with stuff seems like an innate part of that. Some people feel that politicians prioritise this part too much. You’ll also probably notice that politicians might not have much real world experience outside of politics. Many of them even studied politics at uni, and proportionally a smaller number of them had real world jobs before politics. So your politician in charge of health won’t have been a doctor, nurse or paramedic, probably never had any experience in running a hospital, and hopefully listens to the people who advise them on what it is actually like. You hope. Anyhow, you’ll also notice that things called cabinet reshuffles occur; so the politician in charge of say, education might be moved to foreign policy. Or someone might be moved from prisons to being in charge of healthcare. Now, we all use healthcare. But that doesn’t mean everyone can agree on what the best thing is to do. And arguably, many of us believe that politicians tend to be motivated by making a point that they’ve done something for the past few years, rather than setting up a longer term plan that they may not get a chance to finish. Doctors and Nurses and demoralisation I personally believe imposing contracts on doctors was a BAD idea. You might finger wag and tell us it’s better for us (uh, we can do maths... we know some of us really lost out), but even if it genuinely was better for us, people don’t do well with being ignored and having their terms of employment changed. It breeds resentment. We feel more vulnerable to being overworked, some of us get paid more, others less, the system is more confusing, and this feeds into people’s general burnout and resentment, meaning people who were on the fence about remaining in the NHS are more likely to leave. Same for the ridiciulous pay rise caps for staff in general ( which have all been below inflation for the past several years, meaning that we are, in real terms, paid less every year) which I really don’t think helped in retaining nurses and other staff like paramedics. Nurses, HCAs, physios, paramedics and many other hospital staff are really paid modestly for the work they do, so not even making sure that their pay is in line with inflation was a really sucky move. I think they are finally relaxing this, but for many nurses it might be too little, too late. The nurses who long decided that they can’t afford to do their job any more? A tiny pay rise may not be enough to get them to stay. I promise you that most nurses aren’t earning bucket loads; I’ve met uber drivers who used to nurse. I don’t think the government have any real idea how to fix demoralisation, and really it’s generally just been made worse by lots of the changes. Calling our BluffWhat’s a word you associate with doctors and nurses? Caring? Vocation? Commitment? We’re seen as staff who are highly passionate about what we do. And because of this, it’s believed that we’ve bought into the jobs we have. And we generally do; it’s part of our identity. It changes how we think, how we live, and to a huge degree, who we are. I’m not the same person I was in school; I’ve learned to think more analytically, to assess things more coolly, and to think more carefully before I speak. But I think it’s true that it becomes a part of your very identity, and that we’re very, very emotionally tied to our jobs. Also, we’ve put our eggs in one basket. We’ve spent years or even decades training to do this one thing, so we’re kind of stuck with it. Some of us have other talents and hobbies, but on the whole medicine kinda ties you down and takes away all your free time. And politicians know this. They know we’re emotionally attached to our role, and tied into medicine. So do journalists, if the papers were anything to go by last year. I suspect that when we protested, a lot of people said “yeah, as if they are all gonna quit!”. People know we care about patients. They also know we put up with a lot of crap already, and that’s why people assume we’ll just put up with lots more. And we do put up with so much. And many of us will keep putting up with things if things get worse; I’ll be honest with you, we won’t all quit, because people need to put food on the table and because we like helping people. But many of us staying isn’t always enough. Even if some of us leave, the rest will really struggle to cope. Most rotas have empty slots; people have been leaving for some time, and there’s a real need for doctors and nurses to fill those gaps. I’m talking about most (if not every hospital) being short of significant numbers of doctors and nurses. Not just the odd one here and there. But of course, the politicians don’t see how this affects us. If a hospital is standing, patients still get care, and they are understaffed, someone might think “well, they seem to be coping”, not realising that this means everyone is more stressed and working harder, staying late, and fighting to keep patients safe. Being overworked increases our risk of harm to patients, because we don’t have the same amount of time to check things are done right, so missing things is more likely. And I think some people use this against us. People throw the vocation card at you. “But it’s a vocation!” they say. You should be motivated by your sheer passion for helping people, alone. And it frustrates me, because if we want to improve working conditions or patient care, how dare you imply that we lack vocation?! I’d like anyone who thinks this way to come and see what we do, before they say something like that. Although docs and nurses aren’t motivated by money, it’s true to say that we can’t live on fuzzy feelings and altruism; even though we may not want pay rises, the things we’d suggest to make the NHS better (like better staffing, more equipment etc) would all cost money. I don’t think I have many suggestions that are free. And that’s why we fear that things won’t get better; even if we have suggestions on how to improve things, there probably won’t be the funds to make it happen. We actually do a lot of small audits and quality improvement projects on what we can do to improve healthcare that we give in our departments, to try and make things better (on a budget; we do this research all for free and for portfolio points), but there’s only so much you can do for free. How do you get more staff?You’ll notice that governments are fond of annouincing that they will find more nurses or doctors. Sometimes they even use the words ‘train’ more. But ALWAYS ask yourself; are they going to pay for it? How long will it take to train them? Have they actually increased med school/nursing school places to accommodate this? Can universities even accommodate those figures? Because a lot of the figures coming out just seem implausible. No, you won’t get X thousand more GPs very fast, because it’s areal struggle to recruit to training, and it takes 10 years to get someone through med school and to become a qualiffied GP. And that’s assuming people want to do the job and are staying in medicine, which they may well not. I’m not a fan of the idea of forcing people to stay, which is occasionally floated. People like to raise large scary figures of ‘how much it costs to train a doctor’, but those figures also include things like our tuition fees, the costs WE pay towards exams and training, and our actual salaries. The money the government pays hospitals to train us just seem to to into the general hospital pot. The only official training I’ve ever got since I graduated med school was 1 hour of weekly teaching by a consultant. And a couple of simulation courses now and again. The rest of our learning is from my own reading, preparing for exams, and talking to our colleagues. Most of the learning we do is informal, due to the good will of our peers and our seniors. We teach each other; I’m not paid any more for instilling my advice into my peers, it’s just part of our job to educate each other. So I personally get mad when these figures are used to justify forcing people to stay. Because having talked friends who were really, really having a bad time with medicine off metaphorical ledges, I really don’t agree with the idea of forcing people to stay. I’m not an indentured servant, and the government isn’t tying all its other graduates to their supposed jobs, so I don’t see why a workforce with a worse than average risk of burnout, mental health problems and suicide should be tied down against their will. It’s a very, very bad idea, and it’s one of the things that will completely evaporate any remaining goodwill between us and our employer. We put in blood sweat and tears, but if that’s not valued then our relationship with our employer will change. It’s hard to care about someone who doesn’t care about you. Don’t force us to stay. Make us not want to leave. We’re passionate people. We went into this because we loved it and wanted to dedicate our lives to it. If we’re leaving, it’s not a poorly thought out decision; medicine is part of our identity and nobody discards that cape so easily. Let’s poach doctors and nurses from other countries!And this is kind of what we’ve been doing. The NHS owes a huge debt to countries like India. I’m not talking about my British Asian colleagues who, like me are from immigrant backgrounds; we have a lot of colleagues who were born, educated and medically trained abroad who have come over here to work as (most often) doctors and nurses. And this is cheap for our country because somewhere like India trains a doctor, who comes over here effectively for free and works for us. Or all the nurses trained by the Phillippines, or Spain or Romania etc. This is much cheaper than training more staff here (who might then go abroad themselves), but it’s not sustainable and it’s not ethical in huge numbers to brain drain other countries. So you can argue that the government (to go back to your original question) are probably hoping that if current staff leave, they might be able to replace them with new ones. Perhaps even new ones who are willing to put up with worse conditions because they are used to worse. Perhaps I’m being cynical, but that’s often the case when you bring in foreign workers. Always think about the working conditions that workers are being asked to tolerate. I really personally think the government aren’t taking retention of qualified seriously enough. I don’t know why that is; some people might believe it’s deliberate, others might just believe politicians are inept. Maybe they just don’t know how to keep us. I suspect that it’s a balance for them; between keeping staff and trying to ‘find savings’ and ‘deliver promises’ of a 24h NHS (hint: we already have 24h emergency care, but you don’t need a routine appointment at 3am). The contract debacle makes me suspect that they want to claw back some money from the NHS, because the way they treated us doctors certainly wasn’t to make US feel better. There has to have been a financial reason for it, and most of us think that the reason was to make it cheaper to roster us for more hours or more antisocial/oncall hours. Effectively a pay cut, but by another name. Because if you do more difficult work for the same money, that would have paid more, then your pay is effectively cut, even if it technically stays the same. I have no trouble believing that the government could want to get more out of us. Because we’re a resource that provides a service. I don’t know if people at the top see me as more than a machine; I believe actions, not words, and it’s been a long while since most of us have seen actions that suggest otherwise. I think THAT’s what really demoralised many of my colleagues; feeling like we’re just being treated like robots that provide care. At any rate, they suck at retaining staff. The system is stressful, they keep mucking us about with our contracts and our training, and it’s just a big extra headache on top of the whole saving lives kinda thing. You have so many trained, passionate people who are already highly skilled, and you let them burn out and they leave medicine or nursing and never come back. And people keep talking about bringing in mroe, but nobody talks about what is causing us to leave. because the real answers would cost money; better staffing, better funding, better organisation. And politicians don’t like spending money, because there’s never enough to go around. It’s cheaper to poach trained staff than it is to train your own. And it’s trickier to retain the ones it is than it is to just offer to bring in more. Let’s Talk about MoneyArguably, most people would support paying more for the NHS, if any tax rise was guaranteed to be for that. Most people on the street value healthcare. So people in general are quite sceptical; why do politicians not do this? It seems straightforward. Obviously, people don’t like tax rises, and there’s always arguments about who should be taxed more, where it should go, etc, but I think healthcare is one of the few things people are generally supportive of. And they’d be even more so if they realise we’re paying less than most Western contries for healthcare. Only, there’s a lot of misinformation being spread. I routinely read comments declaring the NHS ‘inefficient’ and ‘bloated’, but we pay less than many countries per head, and bodies like the King’s Fund or even more independent bodies usually rate the NHS highly on efficiency. This narrative suits people who want to argue that the NHS needs more cuts and reorganising (hint: people who work in the NHS hate reorganising because it makes no difference at the frontline level and it wastes time and money hospitals don’t have), and the idea that we don’t need more money to offer improtant services, we just need to be better with the money we have. Which passes the blame from the government (whose NHS budgets have not been meeting recommended amounts) to hospitals, who should just be expected to make do with what they’ve got. Interestingly, hospitals aren’t just handed money for existing and having patients that need care, they have to meet targets to actually be funded. So if they are struggling, and miss targets, they get penalised, get less money or the coming year/s. Which most sensible people would realise is a problem; how can they do better if they have less money with which to improve? When hospitals get declared really bad and put in special measures, they get some more funding and attention (and more CQC visits) to help put them right. But the penalty system can appear a bit flawed because most hospitals are already struggling and many are ‘overspending’. I don’t know what we would replace this with, but I’m a little uneasy about how it all works at present. Aaand in Summary, People Just Don’t Trust PoliticiansGiven that it’s sensible to assume we’d want to keep doctors and nurses on board, people come up with all sorts of reasons why politicians choose the choices they do. Why impose contracts? Why freeze pay? Why not train more? Why not improve working conditions? And people come up with all sorts of interesting answers. Some people believe politicians are just inept; perhaps they don’t know how to run healthcare. Perhaps treating us like robots is backfiring. Perhaps they’ve just assumed we’d put up with crap, but they overestimated how much crap we’re willing to put up with. Perhaps they are trying to think of ways to force us to stay, but they just aren’t working, or can’t be implemented. People are fallible; running a health service is hard. All parties mess up; I don’t believe in laying all the blame on one person or one party alone. Others believe politicians are deliberately running the NHS down for political or financial reasons. Because certain companies (hint: private healthcare) would benefit hugely if the NHS was privatised. It would be huge. And companies are powerful and good at lobbying, and many of us fear how much of a role they may have behind the scenes. It doesn’t help that Hunt co-authored a book about dismantling the NHS. Many people are afraid of who politicians might be lobbied by; because politicians are human with their own personal interests. Many have stakes in private healthcare companies, so arguably some politicians are financially better off if the NHS struggles as more people will go private. Companies tend to look after their own vested interests first and foremost; the way corporations run is built around making more money for themselves, and whilst I wouldn’t say they never act ethically, most people are wary of them. Some people think this is all deliberate. Some politicians gain financially from private healthcare companies, but there’s a general fear of whether others are being influenced by lobbies. Large companies are very, very powerful, and they are motivated to protect their financial interests at all costs, so it’s very sensible to be afraid. Many are particularly afraid that we’d get a US style of healthcare if things were privatised here, and US healthcare is incredibly costly and inefficient; they pay something like 3-4 times more per person for healthcare than we do. And lots of people still can’t afford basic treatments. For many of us working in the NHS, that’s a nightmare scenario. We’re motivated by doing our best to help people, and part of why we try so hard with the problems we have, is because it’s for the NHS.It’s a very popular theory that the governent want to run the NHS down to privatise it, and therefore sell it off to private companies. And it’s hard to argue with something like this, when it happened in the past with rail. So it’s hard to argue against such a conspiracy theory. Because yeah, they would make a ton of money from selling it off. And yeah, they’d have someone else to blame when it all goes wrong, which is something people love because suddenly they arent technically responsible. In terms of politics, that’d be a huge change, and in some ways advantageous to politicians. Arguably, politicians have access to private health care, or at least the funds to access it, so many people are wary because they know that politicians are likely to be OK regardless. I personally hope politicians don’t feel like that, but I know little about what they think or feel so I don’t wish to make assumptions either way. This certainly isn’t eveything about healthcare, but I hope it at least gives you a few ideas of the theories going around, and what it’s like from the inside.

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tipsycad147 · 5 years

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8 Ideas To Inspire Your Magic

Avery Hart

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my Disclaimer for more info.

I know everyone loves the idea of witches who are super structured and committed to their practice. In our minds, the ideal witch is doing magic all the time, casting spells every few days, working with gods, doing magic every day, meditating like a boss, this witch supposedly has it all together. The problem is, I’ve never met one of these witches!

I’m sure they exist, somewhere, but as far as I can tell, the majority of witches fall into a very different camp. We do magic when we need it and are sometimes good and sometimes not about our daily magical practice. We might not meditate every day (or let's be honest, ever) and that’s IF our lives aren’t insanely busy at the moment. If things do get crazy busy? You can kiss the vast majority of that goodbye.

To a lot of people, in their minds, this makes them a bad witch. They don’t have that ideal practice so obviously, they’re just not giving it enough attention and being lazy. More often than not though, this isn’t the case! Our modern lives are busy and full of distraction. We’ve got jobs, and school, and partners, and kids, and hobbies, and friends, and, and, and… There’s hardly any time to breathe in between all of the other stuff we do, much less sit down for a half hour ritual!

I'm here to tell you that this is ok. Your life is important and unless you are planning to devote your entire life to witchcraft then nobody expects you to be pursuing it like it’s your Ph.D.

If you’ve been struggling with general life burnout and a lack of magical time, this is the blog post for you. Below you’ll find 8 ideas to inspire you to make your life a little more magical.

1. Do something simple

I know, this isn’t exactly groundbreaking but hear me out. A lot of the time when we’re discouraged about doing magic, we feel like we don’t have enough time to do magic that “counts”. This idea that magic has to take a lot of time or be drawn out to count as magic is unfortunately widespread. Have you ever wanted to do a spell and then when you realised you only had 10 minutes just decided to do it later and forgot all about it? Yeah? Quit that. Instead of putting off the spell until you have enough time, do an abbreviated version of it right now. 10 minutes of witchcraft may not be as potent as an hour-long ritual, but it’s still a hell of a lot more potent than not doing anything at all!

I don’t care how small your window of time is if you have ten minutes you can squeeze in a quick candle spell. In five minutes, you can charge a sigil or brew a cup of magical tea. In one minute you can grab a crystal to charge in your palm while you’re rushing out the door and if you only have 30 seconds you can pause, breathe in an intention that you want for your day and breathe out whatever is blocking you from getting it. Stop putting off magic because you don’t have enough time to do something big, the little stuff counts and it adds up to a life that is absolutely filled with magic!

2. Learn something brand new

Sometimes, our separation from magic is due to getting bored with our normal practice. I know, it’s practically sacrilege to say that magic can be boring but if you’re stuck doing the same routine over and over and over, trust me, it can lose that magical spark real quick. If boredom is what’s stopping you from practicing witchcraft, shake things up a bit! Go out and learn something totally new, whether that’s sigils magic, a new form of divination, or a technique you’ve never tried before, get out of your comfort zone and find something that makes you feel excited about your practice again!

3. Hang out with a witchy friend

If you’re just feeling uninspired about your craft, sometimes it can take a little bit of an outside nudge to get back into gear. One thing that nobody likes to admit about the craft is that sometimes it can feel really isolating. Chances are, the majority of your friends and family are not witches (if they are I need you to spill the secret to making that happen). This may not seem like such a bad thing at first but eventually, it can really wear on you. The people closest to you don’t share your worldview, your spiritual leanings, and many of them probably don’t even believe magic is real! Having to keep those things to yourself all the time can be incredibly draining and demoralising.

The solution is to make time to get out and be with like-minded people, grab your witchy friends and go grab coffee, loiter in your local metaphysical shop together, or hang out in a plant nursery and gush about how many of those adorable little herb plants you want.

4. No witchy friends? Go make some!

For those of you who are lacking witchy friends of any kind, figuring out where to find witches can be a struggle. Here are a few ways to get out there and start meeting like minded people.

Use meetup.com, search for local groups using terms such as witch, pagan, metaphysical, meditation, shaman, energy, goddess, and magic.

Check out your local metaphysical shop, crystal shop, or boutique herb shop. If they offer classes or social gatherings of any kind, consider attending.

Check out online groups. Facebook is full of pagan groups and if you’re in a very small town, online may be the most accessible way for you to go. Also check out what kinds of groups are present for your area though, many local temples and pagan groups host their meeting info on facebook.

Ask around. Again, hit up those metaphysical shops and ask the people who work there if they know of any groups you could join. The people working in these places are often really plugged into the local community and can help you get a foot in the door.

If it’s safe, talk to your friends and family about it as well. While they may not share your beliefs, they might know someone who does!

5. Pick up one new witchcraft habit

Humans are creatures of habit. The vast majority of our lives are dictated by a complex series of habits that we hardly ever even think about! If you really want to make witchcraft a daily thing, you have to make it a habit.

Habit forming can seem complex if you’re new to it but with a little bit of knowledge about how habits form, it becomes incredibly simple. Habits are made up of 3 key pieces. If you want to establish a new habit, you have to have all 3 pieces in place or the habit won't stick.

#1: The Cue - The cue is what tells your brain it’s time to initiate your new habit. This cue needs to be something you are already doing every day, maybe it’s right after breakfast or your morning shower, maybe you use the moment you get back to your desk after lunch, or maybe you work it into your nightly routine. Whatever you choose as your cue, make sure it’s something you already do every day and make sure that you use the same cue every time.

#2: The Habit - This is the actual habit that you want to create. Whether it’s writing in your journal, meditating for 3 minutes, lighting a candle for your gods, or stirring an intention into your coffee, this is when you want to perform whatever action you’re trying to incorporate into your daily routine.

#3: The Reward - The reward is a crucial step in habit formation! Lack of reward is the primary reason why new habits fail to persist. You absolutely must follow your new habit with something that makes you feel good. Now, for many of you, this reward will be built in. Maybe your reward is the caffeine you get from your now magical coffee, maybe it’s the sense of peace and calm you get from meditating, maybe it’s just the chance to get a moment of quiet in your workday but whatever it is it needs to be consistent. If you’re the kind of person who sometimes feels great after meditation and sometimes doesn’t, then that feeling cannot be your reward! You’ll have to pick something else to reward yourself with. Even if the reward is smiling to yourself and giving yourself a quick “Awesome job!” after completing your new habit, you must find some way to end the habit on a positive note. The last thing to keep in mind, this reward needs to be instantaneous! Don’t reward your habit with the promise of chocolate later in the day, if you want the habit to stick have the chocolate as soon as you’re done.

6. Get out in nature

Sometimes the bustle of life just kind of drowns out the magic. If you’ve ever gotten to the point where you’re so worn thin that you couldn’t have felt the energies necessary to work magic even if you wanted to, you know what I’m talking about. There are times when it feels like that world of magic that we all love so deeply is about a million miles away. When this happens, one of the best ways to reconnect is to get outside. You don’t have to carve out a ton of time to go out and be by yourself in nature, even just 10-15 minutes of walking with a friend in the park can really help to reconnect you to your witchy roots. Get out, experience the raw natural world around you and don’t try to force anything. If all you can do is take a few minutes to appreciate some pretty trees and get moving, that’s plenty. You don’t have to reach a state of ultra-connectedness on this walk, just get out and experience it without needing to rush off somewhere or battling distractions!

7. Spend some time curating witchy music

Music can be an amazing mood modulator. Creating a playlist of nothing but music that makes you feel really witchy can be a great way to jumpstart your witchy mood anytime you want to. It doesn’t have to be stereotypical pagan music, you can skip the Celtic music if it doesn’t make you feel like a witch, and Stevie Nicks does not have to have a place on your playlist unless it makes you feel magical. Personally, I love listening to instrumental guitar music like Chon or putting on some Florence + The Machine. The only thing that you need to take into consideration here is whether or not it makes you feel witchy! Whether it’s rap, top 40’s, or Gregorian chanting, it just needs to get you into a magical mood.

8. Re-read your favourite witchcraft book, or pick up a new one!

When I’m really feeling stuck in my craft this is my go-to. I’m a big reader and find that my moods and interests are often very responsive to what I’m reading at the moment. If you have a favourite witchcraft book that you love, pick it up and re-read it! If you’re not big on re-reading, find something new. It doesn’t have to be a “how to” manual about the craft, choosing fiction, memoirs, or even historical accounts can be so inspiring! Below I’ve listed some of my most recent favourites in case you need a recommendation to get you started.

The Physick Book Of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe - This book is a fictional account of a modern day witch discovering her magical heritage. It pulls heavily from pre-modern American witchcraft and is a very fun read for those of you who like witchy fiction.

Witches Of America by Alex Mar - Witches of America is a memoir of the authors exploration of American witchcraft. She explores a myriad of subcultures including Feri, the origins of Wicca, and Thelema all while weaving a compelling narrative of personal growth.

A Great And Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray - The first in a trilogy of novels, this time set in 1895 England. This is a far less traditional approach to fictional magic but the magic, intruige, and danger that underpin the story make it a gripping tale and no less inspiring for the modern day with.

https://thetravelingwitch.com/blog/2018/5/24/8-ideas-to-inspire-your-magic

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02343 · 7 years

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Today’s Card: The Magician I’ve been using the Hermetic Tarot deck gifted to me last year by my good friend Vicky. I’m going to start interpreting these and reflecting because with something like obsessive thoughts that come along with OCD and the kind of progress I’m trying to make in my own personal bubble, I want to start tracking it so I can see it over time. I want to be good to myself. My interpretation:

From Biddy Tarot, where I’ve been studying the meanings of the cards since they are very easy to comprehend, if there’s a better place, please let me know! I actually lost the little booklet that goes with my cards...

“The Magician Tarot card typically appears in a Tarot reading at a time in your life when you have the creative power and energy to create a new life cycle for yourself. You have the ability to take the power of the Universe and manifest your desires. The Magician Tarot card suggests that a situation has been (or soon will be) presented to you that has all the inherent components to allow the manifestation of your desires. Those desires may be spiritual (fire), physical (earth), emotional (water), or mental (air), and are each aligned with the four elements of the Tarot. You have the ability to make it happen!

With the Magician Tarot card, you are inspired to apply skill and initiative to accomplish all your goals. You have a strong desire to begin something new, to ‘do, act, or go forth’. A ‘can-do’ attitude and strong sense of optimism will dominate a new beginning and thus the decisions that you make will have positive results.

The Magician card sees you creating success in everything that you do. This is a Tarot card about manifesting your goals by utilising the skills, tools and resources that are available to you. The Magician suggests that you will come up with creative ways to solve problems and you will be able to use your existing knowledge and networks to arrive at solutions.

The Magician Tarot card is a good omen when you have a specific wish, when you begin a project involving creativity, or when you need to make a transformation of any kind. This is a great Tarot card for meditation when you need to call all the elements for help and wisdom.

The Magician Tarot card indicates that you can benefit from your creative forces if you can claim your power and act with awareness and concentration. This card is a signal to act consciously and act now provided you understand exactly what you want and are committed to getting it. You need to know what you are doing and why you are doing it. Be clear about your underlying motives and intentions.

The Magician is also a Tarot card of deep concentration on a specific task or activity. You need to be focused on a single goal or purpose at this time and you need to channel all of your energy, tools and resources towards this one goal. Commitment to the task is essential and as such, you will need to eliminate any distractions that will take your focus away from what you want to achieve.

The Magician shows that you are doing a great job at pulling together all of the skills, resources and tools that are available to you in order to bring about an outcome that suits you. You are keeping a very pragmatic head about you and you are trying to remain as objective and ‘can-do’ as possible, even if you are worried on the inside. Keep this up as it will help you to create as much success as possible. Keep thinking about what other skills and resources you can use and keep focused on the task at hand.”

I feel like this card is speaking directly to me. Since the new year, I’ve felt new. I’m trying to take control of my life and my thoughts and my actions. Previously, I was living in a prison of other people’s, while constantly worrying how the present was going to affect my future and in the process literally never living in the moment. Getting rid of Facebook has helped center my mind’s focus back onto me and now I don’t have an easy feed to get lost in for a few hours. I’ve made a conscious decision to not pull out my phone when I have a spare minute and instead study the room around me, the sound of the wind, the sound of people, the sound of existence. I’ve started taking one day at a time. I think that’s the most important thing is that I’ve started literally taking one day at a time. I think about the day as a whole, rather than “I can do this tomorrow” or “Last night I should’ve done this!” etc. I’ve done a small bit of yoga the past two mornings to wake up, and stretch, and get in tune with myself. I’ve stopped making art a task and it’s become a hobby again. I’ve accepted who I am in this moment. Learning French and taking 30 minutes a day to do a few rounds has been helpful at giving me something to work on when I need “busy” work. I haven’t been smoking as much as I used to- it’s now for fun and not really a distraction tool anymore. The Magician seems like a card that knows I’m knee deep into this personal transformation. Like, it may not seem like much on the outside, but it’s extremely internal. It honestly started with me needing to get a hold of my intrusive thoughts and my mind and I feel healthier and more in tune. My goal is to keep this up as long as possible. I know how I’m feeling and it’s good. I also know how bad it feels to be locked in your own brain and although it still happens, it’s all a work in progress and I just need to keep moving forward. Scott and I have talked with his parents who have offered to let me move in there with them, giving Scott and I some decent space to ourselves. I feel like that is also a move in the right direction. As I’m trying to enjoy the moment more and I’m seeing things without the rose tinted glasses of the internet facade, I’m recognizing what my purpose is. I’m understanding who my friends are and who I’m connected to. I did go through my Instagram and saw which people have unfollowed me over the years and that was a bummer, but more of a relief. Obviously these people are not good, positive beings in my life and it’s better to move on than wallow in wanting their attention. My need for popularity and success paired with violent, intrusive thoughts from my past have really started holding me tight. I’m glad to be loosening the grip. I’ve been working on a new series of art - and when I say working, I mean primed a few canvases, set up a single still-life and sketched a piece out - that I feel really good about. I have so much pressure around art. Going to a good school for Illustration made me feel like a failure that I was not getting anywhere with it and I didn’t feel good about making anything, etc. I see people I used to know really going places with their work and I became envious. I’m excited to get rid of my past pressures and just work on a project that is for me. I’ve been reading a few different books about OCD and intrusive obsessions because stopping your compulsions is one thing - you know the action you want to do, you know why you want to do it, and you do not do it - but obsessive thoughts are like, how do you out think your thoughts when they are forceful and acting on their own? They aren’t your thoughts anymore - they’re bugs swarming around your face and landing on your skin and making you more, and more uncomfortable in the place you’re sitting and even when you try and move, they follow and you just succumb to the fire because you cannot swat them for life. My rumination has diminished but my “spikes” have become more consistent. Like, I no longer sit and think about WHY I’m thinking about it. I think figuring out that I have OCD has helped this a lot, I’m no longer consumed with the idea I could be a sociopath or that I want to do x, y and z. I’m not thinking about WHY I’m thinking about it anymore, I’m just thinking about it CONSTANTLY. Like, an image will appear in my mind - a distressing image that is directly connected to my deepest fears- and I’ll try and push it away but it keeps forcing itself to the front of my mind and I can feel my nerves tense and my face distort and a tic occur to try and vanish this thought but it’s there and it keeps coming and this could cycle through for an hour or so - Or over the course of a few hours, maybe a day? I could be completely fine and the moment I become “too there” and realize that my mind is blank or that what I’m focusing on isn’t holding my attention as well, like going through my Facebook newsfeed and reading things I don’t actually care about but I should know what my “friends” are saying and I Should be responding and I Should be involved but I’m not actually because I’m sitting alone in an office somewhere along the water, etc. and it’ll just take over me. It can tell when my brain has a break and it’ll just seep in and infect, then I’m gone. It could happen any time, it does not discriminate. That being said, it can be triggered. While it waits for my tired, stressed brain to sit down for a minute, if something were to happen - like someone was chopping a cucumber, or someone handed me a piece of paper - my mind will spiral down. Paper, knives, anything with a clean edge. Serrated knives are okay and I actually try and push the idea of serrated knives into my brain when I get all focused on smooth edges. But yeah, my new art project is a form of Exposure and Response Therapy. While I'm not ruminating for hours, I still have small rituals that need to be broken and in doing so, I’m hoping will ease the forcefulness of my “spikes”. I’m taking a break from the things I used to draw and I’m enjoying a new focus and a new intention. I feel like I just went on and on, and I did, but I guess I just really needed to say it all. I’m looking forward to progress and I say that whenever I’m feeling good and then bad days come around and I’m back at the bottom, but seriously: I’m looking forward to progress because I feel good. I’m not in control yet, but I’m recognizing the decisions I’m making that are contributing to my progress and I’m going to keep working towards it. Instead of saying “I don’t want to be me” and continuing down the same paths, I’m going to be the person I want to be. Healthy, happy, and okay.

#personal #ocd #pure o #pure o ocd #pure obsessional ocd #pure obsessional #obsessive compulsive disorder #tarot #biddy tarot #biddytarot #the magician #the hermetic tarot #the magician tarot #progress #art #mental illness #mental instability #mental stability

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