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theherothechampiontheinquisitor · 3 years

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Pepperony Gift Exchange

Title: Like It Never Happened Pairing: Pepperony Word Count: Almost 13k TW: Implied/referenced Alcohol Abuse Rating: G Summary: When Tony and Pepper get stranded alone in Colorado after a long (mostly) working weekend they learn more about the other in one night than in the five years they spent working together. Not only that but they discover there may be the possibility for more for them in the future. What started as the weekend from hell blossoms into something unexpected and life changing. OR There was only one bed. - "Hey, Pepper. Want to make out?" Notes: I wrote this for the Pepperony Valentine's Gift Exchange via @dailypepperony for @river-bottom-nightmare. I am so sorry that this is so late. Life has kicked my butt this last month but I hope the nearly 13k in content is a good apology. I had a lot of fun with this one even as it grew from just a funny little idea into something with actual plot. I hope that you enjoy it!! Sorry again for the wait. <3

Read it on AO3 Here

They were supposed to have gone back to Malibu on Thursday night after the conference. Instead, here Pepper was on Saturday night, trekking through one of the worst blizzards in Colorado history because her boss just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take a mini vacation and go snowboarding with a gaggle of busty sycophants.

She’d been working for Tony Stark for almost five years now, so she wasn’t sure why she was still sometimes so surprised by his need to go off script and wildly alter all of their plans, but at least when he did they were normally in California where it was warm and sunny, not this frozen tundra.

She almost left without him, sure he would never notice or care she was gone but even though she and Tony had a good back and forth relationship, she had less of one with the CTO, Obadiah Stane and knew that Obadiah would be less thrilled if she left the wild child CEO on his own to get into trouble.

By the time that she had been able to finally convince Tony that they needed to leave and then to check out from their hotel and make it to the airport, the storm was already in full effect and all planes had been grounded, even for America’s premier billionaire weapons developer. So, they had to turn around. Or they would have if they could have made it past the airport parking lot but the snow was falling so heavily that their driver wouldn’t even attempt it, and he was a Colorado native.

This left Pepper with the unique challenge of now finding lodging nearby because she would be damned if she was going to sleep inside the airport. There were several hotels and motels that were airport adjacent at least, so now she was mostly left with the issue of them all being fully booked by other stranded flyers.

The concierge at their latest chain hotel was being very polite and understanding of their dilemma, however there was only so much they could do and apparently the Stark name meant nothing in the midst of a blizzard.

Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose and then massaged her aching forehead as she parsed through her options, not that there really were any. It was almost midnight, she was tired, had been working all day when she wasn’t corralling Tony. This hotel would have to do. Tony only had himself to blame if the room wasn’t up to snuff.

Speaking of which…

She turned around from the front desk, eyes scanning the mostly empty lobby until they zeroed in on her boss, leaning against the wall talking to another guest, female of course, with a wolfish smile on his face.

Bleh.

“Mr. Stark?” she called out across the room to him, a fake pleasant smile plastered to her face and a thin veneer of exasperation lacing her words.

“Yes, dear?” He responded automatically without so much as even a backward glance.

Breathe, Potts, breathe.

“I think we are just about set up over here, just need your signature as always,” she replied, proud at how in check her temper was at the moment.

For a moment she thought she’d have to physically remove him from his conversation until a tall, buff looking guy came in the door carrying several suitcases, dropping them at the feet of the woman Tony was talking to, and he did not look pleased. Tony quickly gave a wink and a smile before he strategically retreated.

“You got it all figured out, huh?” he asked, as he made his way to the desk.

“I always do.”

He smiled genuinely at that and she felt just the slightest bit of her anger melting away and instead the butterflies she’d sometimes get in her stomach stirred to life instead. It was ridiculous really how nice of a smile her boss had, so she was allowed to be a little weak internally. From the looks of the young concierge, she would seem to agree, as well.

Tony reached across the front desk to grab a pen, and Pepper slid the forms over to Tony. Technically, her job did give her the power to sign for him but early on she had deemed it entirely necessary to make him put forth at least the bare minimum of effort, especially when situations like this would arise and it was all his fault.

Tony signed his name with a flourish, only the ‘T’ and ‘S’ distinguishable on the line. As he did the lights in the lobby flickered.

“What’s up with that?”

The concierge kept a smile on her face as she took the information from them. “The blizzard might be causing an issue with the power. We have emergency lights and fireplaces in each of the suites in case it were to go out.”

Tony raised a brow and looked sideways to Pepper. She raised her hands in mock defense.

“We wouldn’t even still be in this state if you weren’t pursuing your...extracurriculars.”

“Pepper, I’m insulted.”

“No you’re not.”

“No I’m not,” he agreed with another one of those smiles that made those butterflies start fluttering again...until he turned his head back to the concierge, his hair flopping to the side. “So, what time do you get off work?”

Tony definitely knew how to clip those butterfly wings in a single instance.

“No, no. We have to share a room and this is definitely one of those things that is not in my contract to have to deal with.”

“Aw, Pep you’re no fun. Besides, I’m sure she has her own room,” he said winking at the girl who let loose a nervous giggle.

Oh puh-lease.

“Tony,” she finally stated in her no nonsense voice that cut through all of his bullshit.

He looked at her then, really looked at her she thought, and saw something, probably her extreme exhaustion and distaste for him at the moment and he straightened his stance from leaning against the desk and turned back.

“Do you at least have a bar around here or in the room?”

“They closed at nine.”

“What in the prohibition is wrong with this place?”

“I’m sure we could have something sent up for you?” The girl asked entirely unsure if that was even possible, Pepper was sure, though seemingly willing enough to risk her job to earn another grin from her boss.

Thankfully Tony spared her from much more flirting and they were finally handed their room keys and directed to the elevator down the hall. They were on the third floor with a view overlooking the mountains which the concierge promised was a sight to behold in the mornings. The only sight Pepper was looking forward to was the back of her eyelids.

She leaned heavily against the rail in the elevator and let her head flop back against the wall.

“You okay, Potts?”

“Nothing a good night of sleep won’t fix,” she mumbled automatically.

Tony shrugged and went back to looking at his phone but every now and then she could feel the weight of his stare on her, even with her eyes closed.

-------------------

“There must be some kind of a mistake…”

Pepper dropped her bag in the doorway even as Tony shuffled around her to see what the problem was.

The room was definitely much smaller than either of them was used to, and certainly a downgrade in quality but that was to be expected from a chain airport hotel. Still it wasn’t exactly a slum either. There was a mini kitchenette with a coffee pot and microwave on one end of the room, what he assumed was a door leading to a bathroom, and then at the opposite end was the fireplace that was boasted about, along with the balcony overlooking the mountains. A small desk and couch was also wedged up against the wall.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, finally coming up with nothing out of the ordinary, aside from the horrific beiges and generic prints lining the walls.

That must have been the wrong answer because Pepper turned to him with the most unamused face in her arsenal.

“There’s only one bed,” she finally pointed out. “This was supposed to be a double. I’m calling down to the front.”

Tony didn’t consider that the end of the world but apparently Pepper did, as she stormed over to the old looking phone and dialed down to the front. He just shrugged and entered the room more fully, dropping his bag in front of the wardrobe/tv stand combo and instantly went to get a better look of the view, occasional snatches of Pepper’s conversation drifting to his ears.

“...no you said there was a room available you did not say that it was a single…”

Tony would almost be insulted by how vehemently his assistant was fighting against the hotel staff if he didn’t already know that she fought equally hard in all of her endeavors. It was one of the many reasons that he had hired her on in the first place.

“Okay, so they don’t have any more rooms, it’s this or nothing,” Pepper finally said, slamming the receiver down.

Tony turned back to his exasperated assistant and just grinned at how flushed she was. “It’s not the end of the world, I’m sure we can manage.”

Pepper was still not amused or comforted. “Sure, you can say that because you are literally inhuman and can fall asleep anywhere, but I have been chasing you around for two days, while also keeping everything caught up with SI and it's cold and I’m tired. I don’t exactly relish sleeping on a couch after everything that has happened.”

Tony flinched and scrunched his face up. “Why would you sleep on the couch? C’mon we’re adults, it’s a big bed, there’s no reason that we can’t just share it. And if you’re cold, then I’ll get the fireplace going.”

Pepper paused and looked like she was considering his words, her eyes roaming over to the bed, probably calculating the amount of space that they would each have between their bodies. He could probably seal the deal if he could just keep his mouth shut for the next two minutes and swallow down the flirty retort on the tip of his tongue, alas though, he was Tony Stark and he had never been good at not saying what was on his mind.

“Besides, I have been trying to get you in bed with me for years.”

He could see the exact moment that the light left her eyes and all considerate notions of bed sharing were instantly quashed.

Oh, well. Maybe next time.

“Orrrrrrr,” he dragged the word out and at least had the decency to be mildly apologetic in tone and features for his joke, “I can sleep on the couch. I’ll still build you a fire though, cause I’m such a swell guy.”

Pepper rolled her eyes but he could see some of the tension drain from her shoulders and knew that he had made the right choice, chivalrous even. And to be honest, she really did deserve the very least of which he could give her in this instance. She was right, he could sleep anywhere. He had once fallen asleep standing up at his drafting board and Rhodey could probably write a book about all the weird places he had found him dozing while they were at MIT. Some of those naps might have been more alcohol or drug induced than by choice but the sentiment remained the same. And as Pepper so angrily stated, she had been running after him like his mother for the past few days. He’d make sure to give her a raise too. He liked to do that anytime he knew he had been particularly burdensome. Pepper got a lot of raises.

Pepper didn’t say anything else but she went back for her bag and rummaged through it for a bit, pulling out night clothes and toiletries before disappearing into the bathroom, so surely she had agreed to their new terms.

Tony wandered his way over to the fireplace and realized it was just an old electric thing. He turned a few knobs to get it going and by the time that Pepper had exited the bathroom, it was at least putting out a pleasant warmth and Tony had already mapped out ten different ways in his brain to improve the energy efficiency and output ratio. He liked finding new ways to fix old age problems. It was often a welcome relief from building the next big weapon, often saving him from his creative stifle.

“Check it out, Potts,” he said over his shoulder and then turned his head to face her from where he was crouched beside the fire. When he looked at Pepper though his brain may as well have shut down entirely.

He had seen Pepper in all manner of power suits and business attire. Had seen her on the rarer occasion in her ‘off the clock attire’ containing various jeans and t-shirts. However, he had yet to see her in any kind of nightwear, the past few days they had had separate rooms and any time she may have crashed at the mansion before that she was always hidden behind closed doors and in fresh clothing by the time he was pulled out of his bed.

Seeing her now...well it wasn’t quite what he would fantasize, no fantasies were just that and really there were no practical reasons to sleep in sheer lacy lingerie when one had no intentions of seduction, no this was right. This was very Pepper. Practical. Comfortable. Still surprisingly sexy?

She sensed his eyes on her as she stuffed her folded clothing back into her bag and slowly turned to him, her toothbrush still hanging out of one side of her mouth.

“What?”

“Nothing just you look…” he held his hands up as if lost for words and he kind of was at the moment. He felt that strange churn he’d sometimes get in the pit of his stomach when he would sometimes zone out in the middle of an all nighter and think about Pepper, really think about her, not just the curves and the pretty face, but all of her, and how he never smiled more than when he was with her. That feeling was back, gnawing at his gut as his eyes swiped over her one more time.

Pepper was instantly on the defensive. “They’re my winter pajamas. I never get to wear them in California, leave me alone,” she said, smoothing out any of the wrinkles of her pink flannel set.

“No, no, I didn’t mean anything bad about it. It’s just…” he started to correct, “very you. It’s cute,” he shrugged.

Pepper softened at the recognition of one of his real admissions, dropping her guard back down and allowing a smile to creep across her face. “Not the lace and silk you were hoping for, huh?” she teased him back and he knew they were good again.

“Nah, this is better,” he admitted to her again. It could have been the light from the fireplace or just her body warming from the cold, snowy night but he thought he saw a flush of pink spread across her cheeks and tinge the top of her ears. It was adorable.

A knock at the door broke the moment and Tony took it upon himself to answer. It was the hotel general manager, a tall, balding man in his forties with a bushy mustache. He apologized about the inconvenience over the room and the bar being closed but offered Tony a bottle of, “their best wine,” free of charge. Tony accepted it and the man scurried away like a mouse.

Tony turned the bottle in his hand, reading the label.

“We’re rolling in luxury now, Pep.”

“Oh yeah? Did they bump some poor couple from a double room?”

“I thought we already solved the bed issue?”

“We did, but I could still hope,” she shrugged, and went into the bathroom to spit and rinse her toothbrush out.

Tony knew no boundaries though so he followed behind her and leaned into the doorway as she went about removing the days make up. Now that he had seen Pepper without, so it didn’t phase him to watch.

“No, they did apologize though with their best red wine, vintage 2004. A whole year. We should be honored.”

“Not everyone in the world has exclusive access to their own family wineries in Italy, Tony,” she said, blotting at her face.

“Okay, I’m a snob,” he admitted. “You like wine, right Pepper? Let’s crack this bad boy open.”

“Tony,” she started in that tone that usually ended in a solid ‘no.’

“C’mon Potts, a quick nightcap. Live a little.”

“You live enough for the both of us.”

“That wasn’t a no,” he pointed at her and fled the room in search of cups before she did say no.

No glasses had been provided by Bill the general manager, nor the kitchenette, so Tony had to settle for the paper cups that were meant for the coffee pot. He’d just rinse his cup out when he was done and reuse it for the coffee in the morning. No big deal.

The wine wasn’t the type that needed a corkscrew, nor was it the type that he thought needed to breathe after being opened but he went ahead and waited a few moments anyways. It certainly couldn’t make it any worse...he hoped.

After further thought he flipped off the lights then glanced at the bed and pulled off the four fluffy pillows and sat them around the small fireplace, two of them he propped against the wall and leaned back against, the other two he left for Pepper to decide what to do with.

He then grabbed the wine and the two paper cups and poured himself a measure. It smelled just like your basic, cheap, supermarket wine, and after a taste he knew that he had definitely had worse in his life but that wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement. Satisfied that they at least wouldn't be poisoned tonight, he filled his cup the rest of the way and then Pepper's and waited.

-------------------------------------

“What is this?” Pepper said, haltingly when she finally emerged from the bathroom makeup-less and ready for bed. She looked Tony up and down, the way he was sprawled out on the cheap carpet, propped up only by the wall and the bed pillows beside the warm fire with suspicion. It felt like a cheap seduction attempt.

Tony however never faltered. “It’s our nightcap,” he said with a grin and raised his paper cup. “It tastes like shit but I figured maybe some ambiance wouldn’t hurt.”

Pepper hesitated again. Tony had always been flirty and he knew better than to try anything further with her. She had made it very clear from day one exactly where he could go if he tried to treat her like a one night stand. He had surprisingly been very respectful of her boundaries, testing the limits on occasion, but he never made her feel uncomfortable or anything.

This whole situation though had been wearing her thin. The aggravation of what occurred and why mixed with the fact that there was a part of her that was singing in glee at being confined to a single bed room with her good looking, charming boss who despite all the bravado she had put forth about leaving her alone, she had still managed to harbor a crush on. Maybe even could develop genuine feelings for. This was neither the time or the place for those kinds of thoughts.

Tony sighed loudly and drew her attention back to him after she must have zoned out for a decent while. “C’mon, Potts. We can pretend this is a slumber party and exchange gossip and paint each other’s nails. If you’re really good we can even end with a pillow fight.”

“Is that what you think happens at slumber parties?” Pepper asked. She gave the bed a longing glance but Tony just looked so damn earnest, so she ultimately gave in and grabbed the two pillows Tony had left for her and fixed herself a spot a respectable distance away from him and plopped down on the pillows with a groan. It felt so good to finally be sitting down.

“I mean that’s the Hallmark version of what I think happens. My only other experience is with porn and I have a feeling that would be even less accurate,” he smiled cheekily.

Pepper rolled her eyes and accepted the Styrofoam cup from his outstretched hand, their fingers brushing against each other ever so slightly, sending a pleasant tingle up her arm. “I haven’t had nearly enough to drink for any of that kind of talk,” she said, taking a sip.

“Well, we do have this bottle all to ourselves…”

This time Pepper laughed a real laugh.

“It would take more than a bottle for either of us to be drunk. I’m pretty sure this is the same brand that my Mom used to buy when I was in high school and it’s pretty weak. Sometimes I’d still steal a drink or two when I was feeling particularly rebellious though.”

Tony gasped and clutched at his chest dramatically at the revelation. “You mean to tell me that the Pepper Potts was an underage drinker?! And here I thought your soul was completely pristine.”

Pepper snorted. “Please. Not that pristine,” she said, taking another drink.

“Ohhh. I am liking this darker side of you, Pep, I have to say. What else did you do? Shoplift bubblegum? Forget to tip your waiter?” he teased.

“I’m sorry my criminal history is not living up to your expectations. Not everyone grew up with a lawyer on retainer and parents that could bail them out.” As soon as the words left her mouth she gasped lightly and covered her mouth, her eyes wide as she looked to him for his reaction. “I’m sorry, I was just teasing, and that was unprofessional…”

It was an unspoken rule to not speak about Howard and Maria Stark literally ever, if one could help it. Sometimes it was unavoidable due to press members who thought they were clever comparing the son to his father or if it were related to Stark Industries business, but never as a joke.

Pepper didn’t know the full story why the subject was so touchy, she’d always just assumed it was due to the tragic nature of their loss. She knew that they had passed years back in an auto accident, Pepper had been a senior in high school, and could still remember the headlines splashed across her father’s newspaper for weeks with photos of the wreck or the elder Starks. There was just one photo of a young Tony that she could remember taken from the funeral. He was all alone and even in black and white she could see and feel the sadness and vulnerability that had been radiating off of him. It was the first time she was cognizant of who he was. Sometimes she could still see the hints of the sad, lonely boy in the man before her and it made her heart ache.

When she looked at Tony he didn’t seem offended at least but the sadness was there. His eyes grew a little more haunted and the smile on his face became a little more downturned but in the blink of an eye the smile was back, a little more cautious now, as he waved a hand at her and filled the cups back up.

“You’re fine,” he reassured her as he poured the wine, “I’m a snob and sometimes I forget how normal people live. And I’ll have you know that there were a couple of times when my parents were out of town that my Aunt Peggy let me cool my heels and sober up in the luxury of a jail cell overnight.”

“Is this Peggy Carter?” Pepper figured she was safe to ask about since she was still alive and well and she knew they were still in contact. She’d seen her flowing script occasionally on the mail she would bring to Tony and had always been a little curious. The woman was an icon.

“It is. You been checking up on me?,” he said, a genuine smile taking over his face again. She loved those smiles.

“It is part of my job,” she shrugged.

“I'm surprised you two haven’t met before, compared Tony-wrangling notes. I’m sure she could provide you plenty of pointers. On second thought--scratch that. Maybe you should never meet,” he laughed. “She’s a great woman though. You would really like her. You’re alike in a lot of ways. Strong, beautiful, capable women who don’t take anyone’s shit.”

Pepper’s heart fluttered a little erratically to be compared to a woman like Peggy Carter, but especially at the word beautiful. She was starting to feel flushed and she knew it had nothing to do with the wine. Time to deflect and redirect, a tried and true Tony-wrangling method.

“You don’t talk about her very much.”

“I don’t?”

Pepper shook her head.

“That’s too bad. It’s not intentional. She’s gone her own way with her family and I suppose I’ve gone mine. That’s life right?”

It sounded like there was more to it than that but Pepper wasn’t going to press her luck any further. Tony though became a little antsy, shifting his body around into several different positions before resettling and drinking the remnants of his cup. He refilled it again and they sat in silence for a moment.

Pepper watched him stare into the fireplace contemplatively, the fake embers casting warm shadows across his face. In this lighting his eyes were a warm, honey brown, and she couldn’t help to be drawn to them as he clearly fought some internal fight.

Finally, after what felt like forever he spoke again, his voice soft and serious.

“Aunt Peggy isn’t too happy with me at the moment.”

Pepper frowned. “Why not? The stocks are the best they have ever been.”

“It’s not the company. Me in general. She thinks that an almost thirty-five year old man shouldn’t still be behaving like his twenty-one year old counterpart,” he said, trying for a wry grin that came off more painful than anything.

“She thinks I need to settle down, have a family like she did. Cut down on the alcohol. Well, not just cut down but check myself into Betty Ford or some shit. I told her to mind her own business, we had an argument and I haven’t heard from her since,” he finished with a deep sigh of regret.

Pepper couldn’t say that she disagreed with Ms. Carter’s assessment and honestly, looking at Tony now, she didn’t think he disagreed now either, if he ever really had. There was a difference between knowing you have a problem and accepting it and seeking treatment. It was clear the woman had meant well, but Tony could be so guarded and so bullheaded.

She mentally fought herself over what to say next. She didn’t want to overstep her bounds, she was still his employee, no matter how friendly they could be off office hours, but he was clearly in pain and seeking a little direction, clarity even.

“Do you disagree with her?” she asked, cautiously.

Tony didn’t blow up at her or fire her. His eyes narrowed as he continued to stare at the dancing light in front of him, engaged in his own mental struggle. Slowly he shook his head, the strands of his overgrown hair that had started to curl, waved back and forth slightly.

“No.”

At least he could admit it to himself even if he wasn’t necessarily ready to do anything to change it.

“Call her when we get back. I bet she would love to hear your voice,” she smiled, encouragingly and scooted closer to him so that she could rub her hand down his back in a comforting manner. It was something that she had done a million times before but something about this moment just felt different.

Tony turned his head to face her then, and she felt her heart begin to beat faster in her chest. His eyes traced over her face even as she stopped her ministrations, slowly coming to a stop at her lips before darting back up to her eyes. His tongue darted out just for a second across his own lips and that was when she realized that he was thinking about kissing her. Actually kissing her!

“Hey, Pepper,” he said, voice soft and velvety.

“What?” she squeaked out, a little terrified.

“Wanna make out?” he asked, and was that longing she could detect in his otherwise nonchalant delivery?

Was he actually serious?

For a moment she let her mind wander, let herself give in to the possibility of actually sharing a kiss with Tony Stark. She couldn’t lie and say she hadn’t imagined it before, she was only human after all and Tony was good looking and could even be quite charming when he wasn’t entirely self absorbed. She wondered if she would be able to taste the cheap wine on his full lips…

No.

There was no way that Tony was actually being serious.

She had just caught him in a vulnerable moment and he was deflecting the only way that he knew how and that was via flirtatious behavior. He didn’t want to kiss her because he liked her. Well, like he really liked her, as in he wanted to be with her for longer than a single night, where they were trapped together in a cheap hotel room with only one bed, her as his only option.

No.

She couldn’t do it no matter how much she wished to know what he tasted like, no matter how alluring he looked in the flickering light of the fireplace. She would regret anything that happened in the morning, and knowing herself she would end up resigning, if Tony didn’t just outright fire her. She may have been his longest lasting PA so far but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still expendable once he got what he wanted.

“Mr. Stark, you are being entirely inappropriate right now,” she answered him, adopting the most detached, work voice in her repertoire and immediately scooting away from him.

He frowned at her but didn’t try to close the gap between them again as he rubbed his eye.

“Back to Mr. Stark now, huh? I thought we were outside of office hours?”

“And sometimes I have to remind you of your boundaries.”

“Why? Do you have a boyfriend or something?”

“Why? Because you’re my boss, it’s inappropriate!” she reminded him, though she still felt a little flustered, even more so when he looked at her again the way he had before he asked her to make out, eyes intense and longing.

He smirked then leaned back up against the wall, his face and mannerisms melting away back to the normal facade of her cavalier boss. He raised his eyebrow to her and spoke. “I can’t help but notice that you didn’t deny having a boyfriend, only that it would be inappropriate given our working relationship.”

“Oh, please,” she groaned. She drained the rest of her cup, then stood up and tossed her pillows back onto the bed and pulled back the duvet.

“Where are you going?”

“To bed.”

“Aww c’mon, Pepper, I’m sorry.”

He stood up and reached for her, just brushing his hand against her flannel shirt before she pulled away. He actually looked a little hurt by the rejection.

“I’m really tired, Mr. Stark and I’d really just like to go to bed now, please. I had your nightcap with you.”

“The slumber party was just getting started. We were having cheap booze, I told you a deep dark secret, there was an almost kiss. You owe me a deep dark secret, Ms. Potts.”

“Don’t count on it,” she said, sliding between the sheets and facing the opposite direction.

For a moment the room was silent except for the sound of the wind and snow outside the room and she thought that Tony might actually have given up. Then she listened to the sound of his shuffling feet and felt where the bed dipped in as he sat down at the very end, almost falling off the edge entirely as if he didn’t want to offend her by getting any closer to her.

“Look I really am sorry. You’re right, it’s been a long day, which is mostly my fault and then I just went a little too far. I didn’t mean anything by it and I am sorry if I offended you or hurt your feelings or whatever. I appreciate all you’ve done for us tonight. Are we good?” At that he did ever so carefully reach out and place his hand on top of her covered foot, a gentle weight meaning to convey his sincerity.

She appreciated the apology, and really had it been that big of a deal? Tony was just being Tony, it wasn’t his fault that she had started to get swept up in the moment. She sighed lightly against her pillow and lifted her head slightly to look at him. He had his head down but met her eyes when she looked at him.

“Will that be all, Mr. Stark?” she smiled after her customary phrase to let him know that all was forgiven.

His lips twitched up into a half smile. “That will be all Ms. Potts,” he returned the gesture and patted her leg before standing up.

Pepper had just laid her head back down when he spun back around.

“Actually, no, that’s not it, I’m sorry again. Can I at least get the top sheet? I’m a naturally hot-blooded male but even I need something to keep me warm at night,” he grinned and offered a mischievous wink.

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep her own face neutral, a small smile slipping across her face as she sat up and pulled back the duvet again, grasping at the top sheet underneath and pulled it free from where it was tucked in at the end of the bed. She balled it up once it was free and tossed it into Tony’s waiting arms with a little more force than was strictly needed..

“Thank you, Ms. Potts.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Stark,” she said, her smile completely uncontained now and snuggled once more under the warm blanket, waiting for sleep to claim her.

Or at least she would have if Tony wasn’t so loud as he moved about the room, placing his pillows on the couch and spreading out his white sheet.

Next came the thunk of his heavy snow boots coming off and being dropped on the floor and she said a mental apology for whoever was stuck beneath them as she kept her eyes screwed shut, desperate for him to finish whatever he was doing and be quiet.

Then came the distinct sound of his belt clanging together as he undid the fasten and Pepper’s eyes shot open in disbelief.

Tony unabashedly stood beside the couch, the direction she happened to have been facing, and was actually undressing. It wasn’t like she hadn’t caught more than an eyeful before when she’d come to collect him in the mornings and he certainly never seemed to care about any level of nudeness. However, she thought he would at least attempt to have some modicum of decorum while they were sharing a room. Apparently not.

She could have looked away. She should have looked away. Alas, she watched him undress through squinted eyes in case she were caught, sleep would be easier to feign.

He pulled his green sweater up over his head and she watched as his white t-shirt beneath was caught up with it, revealing the well defined muscles of his back before he corrected the mishap and the t-shirt fell back down to cover it.

When she heard the zipper of his pants being undone she did squeeze her eyes shut, what was she even thinking spying on him like that, even if he was doing it right in front of her. She was ogling her boss in the same manner that she always got onto him for.

“Do you really have to do that right there?” she asked, frustration laden in her tone.

“I thought you were sleeping,” he said with a playful tease, like he knew exactly what she had been doing.

She just huffed and turned around the opposite direction, lest his dark chuckle tempt her to look again.

“Your virtue is safe, Ms. Potts, I had shorts on under my pants.”

“Why were you wearing---I don’t need to know.”

He laughed again. “Goodnight, Pep.”

“Goodnight, Tony.”

-------------------------------------

Tony really tried to fall asleep after that. He spread out under the sheet, across the couch, his legs just hung over the edges where he was a little it too tall. It wasn’t uncomfortable, he was used to curling up anywhere he could to sleep. However, like most nights, he couldn’t seem to be able to get his brain to shut off.

His mind was racing with thoughts, ideas, calculations. How if he adjusted the processor chips for one of Stark Industries missiles he could make it that little bit more accurate. Schematics came and went as he did the mental math and how long it would take to adjust versus the cost and if it was even worth it to tweek or just create a whole new line.

He had other ideas too. Ways to improve the intellicrops. An electronics line that could put Apple to shame.

Sometimes he thought about Pepper. Nothing dirty surprisingly. Just about her. The way she looked in the Malibu sunlight, her hair flared out all around her, or even here in Colorado bundled up in snow gear or her ridiculous flannel pajamas. The way that he sometimes caught her staring at him the same ways he knew she caught him staring at her. She took care of him. Listened to him when she clearly didn’t understand half of what he was talking about. Helped him keep the company going. Put up with his whims. Just thinking about her, even her scolding him could put a smile on his face. If he believed in love then he would definitely equate love with Pepper.

Thinking about love would make him think of his mother, then his father. Jarvis, Ana. What they all would think if they could see him now, spending every free moment drinking or chasing after the only version of companionship he could accept.

Wonder what the world would have been like if he had been in that car with his parents, if he’d told them that he would come. Or what would have happened if he would have spoken to them a little longer.

Hell sometimes he still wondered what happened to Shannon Dorman who gave him his first kiss in second grade when his father wasn’t able to make it to parent weekend at Andover.

The only difference in all these thoughts from a normal person is most people thought about them one at a time. For Tony it was everything all at once. Like someone had left a bunch of tabs open on a computer and they all were playing different music. It was hard to focus and distinguish one thought or emotion from another when he was left idle like this.

He thrummed his hand against the back of the couch, the sound echoing loudly in the otherwise quiet room, so he stopped. He bounced his foot instead and turned his head to look out the window and watch the large chunks of snow as they continued to fall, not as heavy as before but still steady.

In lieu of counting sheep he tried counting snowflakes. He made it to nearly one thousand before it became just another tab running in the background of his mind.

He needed a drink. Or sex. He didn’t think Pepper would be offering though and he was well mannered enough that he would refrain from slinking away to the bathroom for some self love.

That left Tony with a drink. 10% alcohol content was a drop in the bucket for him but perhaps it would at least let him close out some of those tabs for a while. At least enough so that he could catch a few hours sleep.

Making up his mind, he threw back the covers and walked back over to the fireplace and retrieved the forgotten bottle. There was still a little over half left, it should theoretically do the trick.

He collapsed back against the couch and haphazardly strew the sheet back across him as he took a long pull straight from the bottle. He didn’t figure that Pepper would be wanting anymore tonight so there was no one left to be considerate for. After a couple more long pulls he could feel that little tingle start working its way across his body, warming him from the inside. Whiskey did it better but it was still a pleasant start.

“Tony...” Pepper’s tired voice called out to him and for the first time he noticed her blue eyes watching him.

“What?”

“Don’t drink anymore tonight.”

He tried not to bristle against the perceived admonishment. “Why not?”

“I’m sorry. It’s really none of my business what my boss does,” she said.

“Okay...as my friend then. Why?”

Pepper was quiet for a moment before she shifted around on the bed and clicked on the bedside light and sat up. Her hands were almost hidden by the cuffs of her pajamas but he could see how she twisted them together nervously, one of her only tells of discomfort.

“If you’re serious about what you said earlier, about agreeing with your Aunt...why not start now? Just little steps. You don’t need to drink, you don’t even like that stuff,” she finally spoke, her voice steady and sure despite her earlier nervousness. When Pepper committed to a decision she always went all in.

“Look, I’m sorry that I woke you. I just needed something to help me to sleep. This helps.”

“Well, what normally helps?”

He smiled.

Ah Pepper. Ever the problem solver.

“Normally, I have a glass of whiskey and well, company with me, to tire myself out. That helps usually. When I’m home I can work. Right now I have none of that,” he shrugged.

“Have you thought about taking a sleeping aid?”

Tony scoffed. “Uh. Yeah. That’s not going to work. You missed the early nineties with me so I forgive you, I just try to stay away from anything in pill format these days.”

Pepper brought both of her knees up to her chest and pulled the blanket back over her, one arm resting against her knee and propping her head up as she racked her mind for alternatives. “Is there nothing else that helps?”

“Working out, but I’m not sure you want me doing calisthenics while you’re trying to sleep.”

“What about talking?”

Tony thought it over. He remembered more than one night where he and Jarvis talked until he fell asleep. It was worth a go. At the very least the conversation was a distraction and he had a good partner to speak with.

He nodded his head. “Talking helps.”

“Then talk to me.”

“Aren’t we already?”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “Tell you what, you can try and dig for slumber party gossip if you think it will help.”

“Ohhhh I knew you would warm up to the game,” he said, and took one final sip of the wine before standing and putting it on the bedside table beside Pepper so it would be out of his grasp.

“So, tell me about Virginia Potts. We’ve spent every day together for five years and I feel like I don’t know anything about you aside from your remarkable ability to keep my ass in line, your acumen for business, and your minor shoe addiction.”

Pepper shrugged and to his surprise took her own little drink from the bottle, seemingly nonplussed that he had been drinking straight from it like a heathen. “Well, I’m from a small town in Ohio…”

“Riverbend,” he finished.

She smirked back at him. “So you have checked up on me too.”

“Just your resume and the standard background check when you were originally hired. I did have to make sure you weren’t actually a crazy person you know after the pepper spray incident, you know? Happy wouldn’t let me breathe until I did.”

“And that’s why he is a great bodyguard.”

“Eh, jury is still out on that one. He did let you get by after all.”

There was another genuine smile. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was her smile. He could already feel his mind slowly beginning to calm, just with the little bit of banter between them.

“Anyways, my Dad used to run a farm with my Uncle Morgan but my Uncle was always a little flighty. When that was a bust my father started his own handyman business and then became a contractor. My mother was an elementary school secretary. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I just knew I wanted to get out of there.”

“Well, yeah. The land of corn and astronauts. There’s gotta be some reason all those guys wanted to leave Earth after a stint in your state. Nevermind the biography let's just get to the fun stuff.”

He could honestly sit and listen to Pepper talk about her life forever. She could be as detailed as a Tolkien novel and he’d never complain. He just wasn’t sure when he would ever get this opportunity for questions again, and while young Virginia fascinated him, he wanted to know more about Pepper now.

She raised her brow questioningly. “Like what?”

“What do you say to a fast money round? Favorite color?”

She laughed a little, surprised perhaps by the simplicity of the question. “Blue. You?”

“Red. Favorite food?”

“Pad thai.”

“Not bad. Mine is pasta carbonara. My mom…” he trailed off a little bit, suddenly struck by a memory of cooking with his mother in the kitchen. So much for forgetting. Pepper looked at him with concern as he mentally regrouped. “She made the best version of it. Authentic.”

His words hung thick in the air until Pepper broke the silence.

“Least favorite food?”

“Caviar. I know I’m probably destroying your elitist view of me but I had a terrible experience as a kid. Never again. You?” he said, grateful for the continuation of their game.

“Strawberries.”

“Really? You have a whole strawberry-blonde aesthetic going on,” he said pointing his finger at her hair.

“Yeah, I’m allergic. Like deathly allergic, so it’s a no go for me.”

“Bummer. There’s some irony for you. Do you want me to ban strawberries from the entire Stark Industries campus? Because I will.”

“I don’t think that is necessary.”

“Well, at least from the house. I’ll have Jarvis erase anything strawberry related from the grocery list.”

“It's really not-”

“Please?” he insisted. He could think of at least ten different running items off the top of his head with strawberry in them. She was in his home just as much if not more than he was, he wanted her to feel comfortable there. “You’re at my house more than your own and the least I can do is make you feel safe. Mi casa es su casa, y’know?

“I hardly think that I need protecting from the big bad strawberries but if it really means that much to your chivalrous pride then yes, delete strawberry related items from your grocery list,” she teased, but her soft smile let him know how it was appreciated.

“Done deal.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

“You’re welcome Ms. Potts. Now where were we? Oh yes, searching for your deep, dark secret. Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, raising his brow expectantly.

Pepper groaned. “Didn’t you already ask that?”

“You didn’t answer the question. Look, it doesn’t have to be a boyfriend. Girlfriend maybe? You know there’s no judgement from me. It'd be like the pot calling the kettle black because you’ve seen the array of company I keep.”

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend, Tony, sorry to disappoint, and no boyfriend either.”

“Why not? This may be crossing a boundary but you are smoking hot. You can’t tell me you haven’t left a trail of broken hearts from Ohio to California.”

“Like you?”

“No, that’s coast to coast. Global even,” he said with a wink that he knew would draw an eye roll from her.

“Not that it is any of your business,” she predictably began with the eye roll, “but I really haven’t. There was someone in college that I thought maybe...he didn’t want a partner though he wanted a trophy. The people I have dated in between have never lasted very long and I don’t have the time for that right now anyways.”

“Because of me?” he questioned.

“No. I’m just focused on my career and I have been since college. It’s hard finding a person who isn’t intimidated by a powerful woman who knows what she wants. You’d be surprised by all the fragile egos out there.”

“I’m really not. You forget about the people I’ve been expected to mingle with my entire life?”

She smiled at his words and took a few moments to collect her thoughts, her face pinching together in a frown. “I don’t want to compromise my goals just because my partner thinks barefoot and pregnant is a more appropriate title for a woman.”

Tony thought her feelings were perfectly understandable. He couldn’t ever imagine Pepper relegated to taking a back seat in her own life. Not to say that being a mother is less than a corporate business woman, but that idea that someone would want to repress who Pepper was just to fit their own outdated ideals of what a family and relationship should be.

“I agree, Pep, that’s ridiculous.”

If she was shocked by his response she hid it well. Maybe she wasn’t though. He always thought he was a progressive guy, even if sometimes he could be a bit contradictory in his actions. That was mostly for show though. The carefully crafted Tony Stark persona.

“Besides, when would I ever really even have the time to date someone seriously with our schedules? We’re in a fast paced world, where plans can change on a dime…”

“Like spending an extra couple of days skiing, snowboarding and getting caught in a blizzard?”

She held out her hand towards him. “Exactly. Who would understand that? I feel like I’d spend more time justifying my work than actually having a relationship.”

“So, it is my fault then?” he asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“Ugh. Maybe a little. Don’t feel too bad,” she said, waving his feelings off. “The last time I did have a semi successful date, the guy ended it with what I’m sure he thought was an earth shattering kiss but he literally kissed like a fish. It was disgusting and ruined the entire night.”

Tony actually cackled at that anecdote. “So, no second date?”

“Oh my god. Definitely not. Completely turned me off of the concept for the foreseeable future,” she laughed with him.

“When was that?”

Pepper thought about it a moment. “About a year ago.”

Tony flinched. “Oof. You sure you don’t wanna make out? You shouldn’t let that be your last kiss.”

“Thanks, tempting but no.”

“Ooh I’ve gone from an outright no to tempting, huh?” Pepper opened up her mouth to protest but he immediately cut her off, pointing his finger at her. “No, no, don’t take it back. You said it. That’s going to be tattooed on my brain for a very long time.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

They both fell silent after that, just enjoying each other’s company. Tony shifted on the couch folding his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Pepper shifted to lay back down on her pillow, she still laid on her side facing him though, he felt her eyes watching him.

“What’s on your mind?” she finally asked.

“Do you ever think you’ll have a family one day?”

“I’ve really never thought about it, to be honest.”

“I find that hard to believe. Even I have thought of it.”

“You have?”

“Hard not to when there’s a new paternity suit every year.”

That was the truth. He had thought of family in the traditional manner of course. Settling down like Aunt Peggy said with a wife and 2.5 children like the American dream dictated. He didn’t see it ever happening, but sometimes it was a nice thought if he didn’t think he would turn out just like his father, cold and neglectful.

The paternity suits were another beast. None ever panned out and he expected none ever would. He may be promiscuous but he wasn’t an idiot. Still, it was always an interesting couple of weeks wondering what if. He wasn’t the type that would pay the mother off he knew that much. He would take an active part in any child of his life, fears be damned.

“I guess it’s not something I’ve ever pined for. Maybe someday in the far off future where I’m the CEO of my own company. Maybe then.”

He turned his head to face her. “You gunning for my job, Potts?

She smiled tiredly back at him. “Maybe I am. I have to keep you on your toes somehow.”

“You’d probably do a better job. You like all the boring details of the job. I just want to be left alone to create.”

“Please. Don't sell yourself short. Creating is your passion, but you have an eye for business. If you didn't then I don't think this company would have survived the last decade and don't say it was all Obadiah either. You're way more progressive than he is.”

“While I appreciate the vote of confidence, weren't you already concerned with how you'd fit my ego in the room though? I don't want to suffocate you.”

“I think I can manage this once. Tony, can I ask you something?” she asked.

Something in the tone of her voice made him look over at her. She was chewing at the bottom of her lip in indecision so he had a pretty good idea that like earlier in the night, whatever she wanted to say was probably something that he wouldn’t like.

“Prying for the deep, dark secrets again?” he asked, going for levity and turning his attention back to the ceiling.

“Why did we stay here after the conference?” she asked softly.

Of course she asked that.

“Just wasn’t ready to go back.”

“You didn’t even want to go to the conference and then you stay here longer? You hate the cold and snow.”

Tony shifted into a slouched position, one arm curving across the back of the couch as he drummed his fingers against the material again. He could feel his heart begin to race as he debated whether he wanted to tell Pepper the truth or not. This was one of those things that had been floating along in his myriad of thoughts and ideas, keeping him up at night the closer that the date approached.

Pepper had shown good faith in him all night, humoring him even though he knew she had to be exhausted. After his behavior he supposed an explanation was the very least that he could provide her.

“I didn’t always hate it,” he began gingerly.

Pepper seemed to make a decision then, sitting back up and moving herself and her pillows to the opposite side of the bed. She left the duvet upturned and patted the empty space beside her invitingly.

“I trust you,” was all she said.

He stood up from the couch and let the sheet fall away as he stretched out his limbs. He wasn’t a very tall man, but he was way too long to be scrunched up on the couch and was thankful for the reprieve. Tony wrapped the sheet back around his body as he slid beneath the warmth of the duvet and flipped the cover up over them both. He turned on his side to face Pepper, propping his chin up with his arm and she mirrored his movements. Tony tried to use the quiet moment to gather his thoughts and not to think about how the warmth he felt from the mattress was from where her body had lain.

“Today...well, yesterday,” he conceded given the hour, “was my mother’s birthday.”

“I didn’t know,” she whispered and shook her head.

“You wouldn’t. I keep my parents close to the vest as much as I can these days,” he shrugged and absolved her from any guilt she might be feeling. Pepper hated not knowing important information.

“I grew up in New York as you know, and she used to love it when it snowed. When I was younger we would build snowmen, snow angels, we made ice cream out of the snow and shared hot cocoa. Whatever you could think of. When I was older, the week of her birthday my parents would take me out of boarding school, and since it doesn’t usually snow in April, we would go to the Alps or Aspen or wherever else and ski, snowboard, whatever. It was one of the only times I ever remember feeling like I was really a part of the family. When she died…” he trailed off softly.

“It was snowing that night?” Pepper inferred. She always knew what he meant to say.

He nodded slowly. “The snow and cold didn’t bring me any kind of joy anymore.”

“So, why now?” she asked gently.

He had come this far. May as well go all in.

“If we’d gone back to Malibu I would have done my best impression of drinking myself to death, like I do every year. I don’t know. I guess something Aunt Peggy said struck a chord and I wanted to try and honor Mom a better way. I still drank but when I’m in public it’s easier to stop. To control it. There’s no control when I’m alone.”

He ducked his head in shame not wanting to see any kind of judgement on Pepper’s face. She knew he had problems. How couldn’t she? She was always one step behind him cleaning up his messes and he had even admitted his problem to her tonight. He just wasn’t sure she knew the full extent. The reason why he was on full lockdown and unavailable on certain dates because he would rather drink himself to death than have to remember.

“If you needed someone to keep you company, all you had to do was ask,” she answered him quietly and he dared to lift his head and take a peek at her face from beneath his hair, trying to gauge the sincerity behind the words.

“I don’t pay you enough for that.”

She immediately frowned. “I don’t need you to pay me. I am your friend, Tony. If you’re struggling, I want to help.”

He wanted to believe her. Oh how bad he wanted to believe her. He could see the sincerity on her face and hear it in her words, He had just had so many experiences that told him the opposite. That everyone had a motive to be close with him, no one really cared. Until Rhodey and Happy. And now Pepper.

He smiled sheepishly and wiped a tear that he didn’t know was there away with the back of his hand. “I guess I don’t know how to ask for help.”

“We’ll work on it,” she said and reached out and brushed the stray hair from his face, her hand lingering as it softly caressed his cheek.

“Hey, Pep,” he began hoarsely, his eyes downturned to the pattern of the duvet, ”in the spirit of asking, I guess I should start learning now.”

“Anything,” she replied honestly and that made him grin for the ghost of a moment.

“Do you think maybe when we get back you could put together a list of some, uh, outpatient facilities for my, uh...you know,” he stumbled.

She moved her hand from his cheek down to grasp his free hand and squeezed it in hers. “Of course.”

“Maybe keep it quiet from Obie and everyone else in case it doesn’t take.”

“It’s a process, Tony. You’ll get there in your own time, but yeah. I can keep it quiet as long as you’ll at least tell Rhodey. He’d want to support you too. And Peggy.”

He clutched her hand in his and ran his thumb across her skin soothingly. “You drive a hard bargain, Potts. You sure you aren’t trying to take my job?”

“Not today.”

“Then I accept your terms,” he said squeezing her hand again.

“Good. Do you think you can sleep?”

“Maybe. I feel a little better.”

“Well. Just try. I’m here if you need me.”

He wanted to tell Pepper that being in such a close proximity to her was part of what was keeping him awake now but he didn’t. Instead he carefully turned and clicked the light off before settling back into his pillow. He wasn’t about to give up this moment for anything, even if he didn’t sleep a wink.

---------------------------------------

Pepper couldn’t believe that she actually was sharing a bed with Tony right now. It had been awhile since her declaration to get some sleep but even though she was dead on her feet she couldn’t seem to get relaxed enough to drift off. Maybe that also had something to do with the fact that Tony was still loosely holding her hand in his and every time he took a breath she could feel it tickle against her skin.

What did all of this mean? Did it even mean anything? She had always prided herself on enforcing boundaries and making sure Tony always stayed on the other side of the invisible line but tonight she felt like they both had leaped over it hand in hand. Skipping over the line between professionalism and friendship right into something more. Just what she could not say yet. Not even in her own mind. It wasn’t able to be defined yet. All she knew was that this little detour in the snowy mountains of Colorado had been a turning point in their relationship, seemingly for the better.

If Tony was comfortable enough now to tell her about such intimate information about his family and his drinking, reaching out to her for help, then that could only be for the better. He didn’t have many people he could trust like that and she was proud to be counted among them.

Were they still just friends though?

“Pepper, I can hear you thinking from over here, what’s on your mind?” he asked groggily, his hand closing around hers once more, causing her to flinch in surprise.

“I thought you were asleep?”

“The room is only big enough for one loud thinker not two. So spill it, what’s going on?” he asked, his eyelids fluttering open to reveal dark brown eyes.

Oh, nothing, just thinking about how distracting it is to be touching you and sharing a bed.

“Just the usual. Wondering if we’ll be able to fly out of here tomorrow. Thinking of everything that will need to be pushed back if we’re not.”

He didn’t buy it for a second she knew but he hummed in assent and kept his eyes locked on her own.

“What?” she chuckled nervously under his gaze.

“Hey, Pepper, now do you want to make out?”

There was something different about the way he asked her this time. Tony wasn’t teasing, he wasn’t vulnerable any longer. Enough time had passed that he had seemed to come back to himself which made this even scarier than all the other times. This time she didn’t doubt the sincerity as he held her gaze, jaw locked firmly in place in anticipation of her response. She was finding it harder to find reasons to turn him down.

“Tony…” she began, hoping for her brain to come up with something. “I know today has been difficult and we have had some really hard and emotional conversations…”

“You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not that compromised,” he grinned, his face lit up only by the moonlight pouring in from the window.

“I just don’t think that’s going to happen,” she finished lamely.

“Why not?”

She had to give him something real or he would never stop. She slowly pulled her hand away from his, instantly missing the warmth he had provided and hid it beneath her pillow. “I can’t be just another one of those girls, Tony.” He would have to understand that.

“Is that what you think, Pepper?” he asked, unable to mask the small amount of hurt from creeping onto his face and in his tone. He actually looked like a wounded animal.

All she could offer was a shrug in response because it was exactly what she thought from the moment that she had met him until this evening when she finally started to see that other side of him.

“You’re not, Pep,” he reassured her and reached back out and found her hand beneath the pillow anyways. “God you’re not.”

“What’s changed?” she dared to ask.

“You have always been different than everyone else. You’re not someone that I could or even want to throw away. You mean more to me than anyone else in my life. I thought it was obvious by the way that I am a complete and utter disaster without you. I have been wanting this since you first came through my office doors and until tonight I wasn’t completely sure, but I know you like me too. Don’t you?” he asked so earnestly, his eyes opened wide and his eyebrows raised. He looked like a literal puppy, begging to be let in from the cold.

“Tony…” she started to deflect again but he cut her off.

“Look, it’s okay if you don’t, I’m not going to fire you or anything. I don’t want you to ever be worried about that because like you said, we’re friends right?”

She nodded her head gently.

“Good. I just want to know that I’m not crazy, Pepper. That I’m not the only one that gets these weird little butterflies in the pit of my stomach whenever we’re together. You feel it too, right?”

Pepper hesitated a long time, instinctively chewing at her bottom lip again. She had another choice to make. Another boundary to shatter. Should she do it? She let loose a deep full body sigh, ignoring how shaky the exhale really was before she looked him in the eye.

“You’re not crazy,” she admitted.

His face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“You’re my boss,” she simply offered. Another truth. It was inappropriate. The press would always talk about the power imbalance and trash her for falling for it like all the others.

Tony had the nerve to scoff at her words. “Please, if anything you are my boss.”

“Okay then. You don’t do relationships,” she tried again.

“I could try. I want to try. With you,” he clarified gently, his voice lowering to that honeyed timber she loved.

Her heart wanted to sing with his admission. In fact it was. She could feel how quickly it was pumping, the adrenaline sending shockwaves all across her body as she thrummed with anticipation. Her mind however knew otherwise. There was always a but.

“Tony...you’re not ready for that yet.”

And he wasn’t. Her brain knew that even as her heart rebelled. Tony was a mess. On this trip alone he had been with at least three different girls. He was slowly coming to terms with being an alcoholic and what that meant for his personal and professional future as he started to seek help. That was on top of his already full work plate. He didn’t have the time or the mental capacity right now to try and begin a new relationship and to do it the right way. He had no idea the work it would entail. Maybe someday in the faroff future, but not tonight.

His face dropped as his eyes flickered across her face, his hand going loose in hers so she could pull away but she didn’t. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right. I’m a bit of a mess aren’t I?” he asked, flashing a pained toothy smile. “It’s fine.”

“Look, I’m not saying no forever,” she clarified. She was helpless against that face.

“So, there’s a chance?” he asked, hopefully.

She squeezed his hand. “Perhaps.”

“Well, in that case I will do my best to become the kind of man you deserve.”

It was probably the most sincere declaration of affection she had ever received and she tried to hide the dopey grin in her pillow. That made him smile back and this time it was him who pulled his hand free to run the back of his hand down her face almost reverently, taking his time and just soaking the moment up.

“Hey, Tony…”

“Yeah?”

“Want to make out?” she asked, coyly.

His eyebrows disappeared into his hairline as his head shot off the pillow. “But you said--”

“On one condition,” she continued unperturbed.

“What would that be?”

She waited until he settled back down and then looked away from him nervously. “After tonight...we pretend like it never happened.”

“Never?”

“Never. Can you do that?”

“I can.”

“We can count this as an experiment. Maybe we won’t even like it, maybe it will be too weird,” she shrugged.

“You know me. Always willing to sacrifice anything needed in the name of science,” he teased and scooted closer to her.

She held her breath when she felt his body brush up against her own as he tentatively leaned in closer to her. He brushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear and searched her face seemingly for any sign of doubt of discomfort. Anything saying that she was uncomfortable. Aside from her heart beating like a freight train inside her chest though she felt perfectly normal.

“You’re sure?” he asked again. He liked to play the field but she knew that he was always all about consent.

“I’m sure,” she spoke so quietly she could barely even hear her own words.

Pepper met his lips halfway and only had half a second of panic that this was really happening before his lips met hers and with it threw out any sense of logic or reason. Instead her mind was flooded with the happy influx of endorphins as her heart continued to pound away, the fluttering of the butterflies in her stomach melting away into something hotter as it spread across her body.

Her hand reached up to tangle itself in his hair, gently pulling and encouraging him. When he opened his mouth to hers she almost giggled like a school child when she realized she could taste that cheap wine on his tongue like she wondered earlier and also knowing that it had never tasted better than it did right now.

It was like a spark had been lit between them and nothing else existed.

All that she knew were his lips, the smell of his aftershave and collage blending together in perfect harmony, some kind of leather and sandalwood type smell, not his usual expensive brand and she found that curious. His hands rove from caressing her cheek to burying themselves in her hair as well, or running up and down her back softly. It made a shiver go down her backside and he only pulled her closer for it.

She actually whimpered when he pulled away, mouth still parted and wanting as they both were left breathless.

“Weird?” he asked, after a moment, his sweet breath tickling her nose, he was still so close.

“No, I don’t think so,” she immediately shook her head.

“Good, once more for science?” he asked, but it was rhetorical and she never got the chance to respond.

Oh, how she wished that this never had to end. That it was the future already and Tony’s life was put together the way that they both hoped it would be. That the endless parade of booze and women was over and he was celebrating his sobriety and they were away celebrating. But it wasn’t. And this did have to end before it got too far.

Pepper pulled away from him slowly, letting him chase her and kiss her softly a couple more times as he came back down from the rush. She put a finger to his lips to prevent him from anymore but he just kissed her index finger instead.

“I think that’s enough for one evening,” she said, regrettably.

He looked as disappointed as she did but also satisfied in a way that she had never seen him except maybe after some breakthrough on a project. His hand stayed buried in her hair, brushing and pulling at the strands.

“It will never be enough. But I think we have collected sufficient data for the future,” he grinned dopily in the waning light of the moon.

This time Pepper did giggle and she blamed it on the swell of emotions mixing with her utter exhaustion.

“You could say that,” she agreed when her giggles subsided.

He gazed at her longingly and licked his lips, her attention instantly flying to his tongue. She knew what he tasted like now, and she didn’t ever want to forget it.

“Since this night never happened, might I trouble you for one more thing?” he asked hesitantly.

She clenched her teeth worried about what kind of favor exactly he had in mind and if it was going to put a damper on their evening.

“What is it?” she asked cautiously.

“Can I hold you tonight?” he asked, his voice barely coming out in a soft rumble that sent more shivers down her body.

Of all the requests she wasn’t expecting that one. Not something so innocent.

“Well, since it never happened,” she simply said with a shrug of her shoulder and moved in closer beside him.

The hand that had been in her hair moved as he laid on his back and let her tuck herself in against his chest comfortably, before encircling her, the reassuring weight of his bicep against her back. She tentatively let her own arm creep across his torso and gently fist into the fabric of his shirt as she inhaled his scent beneath her. She heard more than felt when he kissed the top of her head.

“Goodnight Ms. Potts,” he said, his voice already thick with exhaustion. She thought he might actually be able to get some sleep tonight.

“Goodnight Mr. Stark.”

They missed the brilliant sunrise the next morning, and the gentle rapping at the door of the nervous general manager checking in on his guests. When she woke it was with the comfort of Tony’s arms still around her as he snored softly in the morning light.

They made it back to Malibu of course. Back to Stark Industries and deadlines and projects. Tony did start at an outpatient program and he did make that call to Peggy Carter to apologize and to his best friend to let him know what he was doing.

They never spoke about that night.

Whenever, she’d start to feel like it was all just some strange, exhaustion induced fever dream though, she would catch Tony looking at her. Not the way that he always had with what she figured was nothing more than base lust. No, now he looked at her almost lovingly. Reverently. Hopefully. Like she hung the stars and the moon and nothing else existed in that moment. Then she was reminded of that moment. How he looked, how he felt pressed against her.

If she ever did start to forget though and his gaze was not enough to remind her, she would come and find him. At home, at work. She’d slip away to where they could be alone and he could remind her once more, that what happened was real. What she was feeling for him and he for her was real

They could never talk about it just yet.

Instead it was like it never happened.

#pepperonygiftexchange #river-bottom-nightmare #pepperony #mel's fics #pepperony fic #mcu

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iloveyou3thousand · 3 years

Text

Ever

Pairing: Pepperony Rating: Teen & Up Word count: 2785 A/N: This was written for the Pepperony Valentine's Exchange for @kassyscarlett. I hope you like it!!

Tags: Jealousy, misunderstandings, light angst with a happy ending, established relationship, mid-canon

Read it on AO3 here!

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“Oh—” Pepper stops dead in her tracks, and almost takes a step back, “Sorry, I didn’t know you had company.”

Which is odd, considering that she is used to knowing the ins and outs of Tony’s schedule by heart. Rarely does any set appointment pass by her unnoticed. She may not be Tony’s personal assistant slash glorified secretary anymore, but that doesn’t mean she’s managed to get out of her ways yet. Old habits die hard, as they say.

The lady in the chair opposite Tony’s turns, and while she gives Pepper in the doorway a polite smile, Pepper can tell that they were laughing about something just moments before by the way her eyes are still wrinkled at the corners and the way Tony’s leaning back in his own chair, so nonchalant, with a lopsided grin on his face.

A grin that, in any other circumstances, could make Pepper feel weak in the knees.

But she stands firm, looking from the vaguely familiar woman to Tony and back again.

“It’s fine, Ms. Potts, join the party,” Tony says with an air of relaxation.

I’d rather not, she thinks, but doesn’t say. She stays polite, as much as it infuriates her to have to do so when the cogs in her mind are already working overtime connecting dots that she’s sure aren’t there, or shouldn’t be there.

“You remember Ms. Hansen, right?” Tony continues.

“I do,” Pepper says, “How could I forget?” Frankly, she’s a little surprised that Tony remembers. Or maybe he doesn’t, and he’s doing a great job at bluffing his way through this little get-together – or whatever it is.

She briefly shakes hands with Maya when she extends hers over her shoulder to not have to twist around in her seat too much. Either she doesn’t want Tony looking right up her skirt, or she’s found a position in which she knows Tony can most certainly look directly at her panties and she doesn’t want to risk losing that. Pepper doesn’t know which one it is, and she’s not sure she even wants to know.

Maya’s smile is friendly and her handshake is professional but still, something about the situation doesn’t sit right with Pepper, who suddenly feels like she would much rather be anywhere else than with those two in one room.

“Pleasure to meet you again, under somewhat better circumstances,” the other woman says, and Pepper flashes an amiable smile.

“Likewise,” she responds, and backs up again to return to her spot in the doorway. She focuses her attention on Tony again, because that’s who she came in for in the first place after all. It looks like she manages to cut him off right before he is undoubtedly about to say something about what him and Ms. Hansen were just talking about. Pepper, frankly, doesn’t want to hear it. “I have something I want you to look at, but it’s not urgent. I’ll forward it to you so you can tell me what you think later. Okay?”

Tony salutes her solemnly, and gives a nod. “You got it, Pep.”

“Good. And don’t forget you’re having lunch with Osborn.”

Tony mutters a grumbled ‘how could I forget’ under his breath before Pepper turns to take her leave. She closes the door behind her and puts a good amount of distance between her and it in just a few quick strides. But even so, she can hear the unmistakeable sounds of laughter coming from inside the office. She stops, listens to the muted cadence of Ms. Hansen’s voice, honeyed sweet without a doubt. She winces, and makes herself scarce as quickly as she can. It won’t do her any good to stand outside of Tony’s office and listen in to what she assumes might very well be going on inside.

She doesn’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss, right?

Except even though she doesn’t really know what has been going on inside Tony’s office, she still spends the rest of the day thinking about it. Tony rarely invites women over nowadays, and they rarely show up in the kind of skirts that Maya was wearing. Jesus, she wasn’t even wearing pantyhose or anything. Pepper can’t help but wonder if she was wearing anything underneath her skirt at all…

But Tony has changed over the years. She thought that he was really committed to what they had going for them and how their relationship had grown. She had been tentative in hoping that Tony’s playboy days were over, but Tony had proved himself to be loyal, at least in the first few months.

As the day progresses, Pepper can’t help but think that maybe he’s slowly drifting back to what he used to know because he’s gotten bored of it all.

And what if he has? What if he has gotten bored of Pepper and of their relationship and of what she can and has offered him for the time that they have been together? What is she supposed to do, or say, about that? It’s not like she could help that – if it was even true at all.

That is probably the worst thing though. Even if this is really taking place, if her fears are correct, then there is nothing she can do to change Tony’s mind. She doesn’t have much more to offer than she has already given Tony, and she can’t exactly make something up.

She thought it was enough…

But now she can’t stop thinking about all the things they could possibly be doing behind closed doors, and all the things that Pepper should have been doing, or could have done, or at least suggested. Has she really not tried enough? Has she not shown Tony that things don’t have to stay the way they used to be?

She really thought that Tony had been happy with what they had.

A voice in the back of her mind says that it should reassure her that at least he’s not going for any random floozie at least, he’s sticking to someone he knows this time, but the longer she thinks about it the longer she realizes that that’s actually even worse. At least there are no feelings involved when he sleeps with someone he doesn’t know and won’t remember the next day.

Has he fallen out of love with her?

Was he ever in love with her in the first place?

Pepper can’t concentrate the rest of the day and it shows. Usually she’s all smiles, even with the people she doesn’t like. She knows that politeness gets her furthest, but her face is set with tension for the remainder of that day at the office and she avoids people she doesn’t necessarily have to see at all cost.

Unfortunately, Tony is her ride home.

Or, well, she could call a taxi. But if she gets her own ride back while they usually drive together, it will most certainly arise suspicion, and she knows that Tony won’t be able to let it go until she spills her guts – and she’s not keen on doing so at the moment. She’s sure that if she does, a lot more will come flooding out than she intends to allow, and that’s a recipe for disaster.

So begrudgingly, she walks into Tony’s office toward the end of the day, glad to find that it’s empty bar for Tony this time, at least. She can’t help but comment on it.

“No more surprise guests?”

“Just little old me, Ms. Potts,” Tony hums as he gathers his things before whipping out the doors and heading toward the elevators.

They ride down toward the garage together but Pepper doesn’t have much to say. Usually she would put some effort into trying to explain Tony’s schedule to him so that he’s prepared for what the following day has in store for him in case he forgot (which he is prone to do), but this time she is quiet.

Occasionally, Tony tries to break the silence with a comment here and there, but Pepper’s answers are short and to the point, leaving little room for the conversation to continue. She tries to busy herself with her phone, drafting some emails to send the following morning, but she comes up blank most of the time now with her mind so clearly on something else.

Even as Tony puts the top of his car down as they drive down a long, winding road back to their home, offering the occasional glimpse of the sea and the California coast, she’s quiet. Lost in thought. Normally she might have complained about the wind whipping through her hair and pushing it into her face, might have tried to control it with both hands while watching Tony laugh as she cusses him out, but now she just lets it.

Maybe that’s what is the final straw for Tony.

He slows down, which Pepper doesn’t realize until they’re pulling up alongside the mostly empty road, and Tony goes as far as to turn the engine off and twist in his seat towards her. He means business, that much is clear. Pepper turns her head to the right and looks out over the ocean and the sun dipping lower and lower toward the horizon.

“I feel like I’m being punished for something and I’m not quite sure what it is,” Tony says. Pepper worries her lower lip with her teeth for a moment, but doesn’t answer.

“C’mon, Pep. Can’t even look at me now? Must be something serious.”

There’s a beat of silence before Tony’s warm hand lands gently on her thigh just above her knee and just below where her skirt stops. She resists the urge to pull away because she knows it’s childish. Instead, she turns her head to Tony at last. It’s the least she can do.

“Oh, it’s definitely something that I did,” Tony teases, although a moment later a frown creases between his eyebrows as if he can see something in her expression that worries him.

Pepper takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Might as well be honest and get this over with to avoid stewing for much longer, right?

“Why was Maya in your office?” She can barely stand to look at him, but keeps her eyes level as best as she can.

Tony looks puzzled for a moment.

“Ms. Hansen,” she clarifies. Immediately, Tony’s expression clears up significantly.

“Ah, Ms. Hansen. Honestly, I’m still not entirely sure why. Something about… Right, she was wondering if I could oversee a project she’s doing. As if I’m responsible enough to be able to oversee anything.”

Tony flashes a smile but Pepper doesn’t think it’s entirely funny. He has a habit of playing the self-deprecating joke card when she’s not feeling great, and she doesn’t think that that kind of behavior should be encouraged. She doesn’t want Tony to think about him in that way.

When Tony sees that there is no smile on Pepper’s face but only a slightly disapproving set of her mouth, he drops the joking act and tilts his head toward one shoulder.

“Why does it matter what she was there for?” He asks. Pepper doesn’t have a good answer for that except the truth, and she’s not about to hand that over to Tony on a silver platter. It feels ridiculous. She shouldn’t be so doubtful to the point of distrust, but seeing Tony so at ease with a woman he’s slept with doesn’t sit right with her.

It’s prejudice, she realizes. She doesn’t have that reaction to Tony talking to any other woman, and there aren’t enough ladies like Maya who slept with Tony and yet somehow always kind of…stuck around.

Pepper looks away, shame on her cheeks. She feels awful for the way she feels and can’t argue past the lump in her throat because it’s getting too real. Either Tony is about to tell her that it’s fine and nothing is wrong, or he’s about to tell her that they can no longer work things out, that he’s no longer interested, that once they get home maybe it’s better if they part ways…

“Hey…” Tony murmurs, his voice dropping into something concerned now. He takes his hand off her knee and puts it on her back instead, laying the warm flat of his hand over her spine – something that could have been so soothing if it hadn’t been for the intrusive thoughts in Pepper’s mind that maybe Tony would rather be somewhere else touching someone else like that right now.

As if he can read her mind, Tony leans in and presses a kiss into her hair just above her ear.

“You know you’re the only woman in my life, don’t you?” He says softly, a kind of soft that is usually only reserved for her. She hopes that’s still the case. She really does. “If that’s what you’re worried about, then don’t be. I only have eyes for you, Ms. Potts.”

Pepper doesn’t realize how much she needed to hear that until she sighs out another deep breath, and feels the tension set in her shoulders ease, feels herself lean into Tony a little bit, almost wishing they weren’t divided by the center console in the car.

Again, it’s as if Tony reads her mind, because he’s out of the car and around by her side in moments, opening the car door and offering her his hand to get her out and pull her directly into a firm embrace.

“I know it’s ridiculous,” Pepper says, breaking her own silence for the first time since the last thing she said in the elevator.

Tony combs a hand through her hair at the back of her head, and presses a kiss to her shoulder. She buries herself into his neck even further at that.

“A little bit,” Tony admits, but Pepper can hear the playful tone in his voice, “But if it was really that ridiculous then you wouldn’t be feeling this way. So I guess I just have to prove to you that you’re the only one for me until that feeling subsides once and for all. Are you agreeable, Ms. Potts?” He pulls back, cups her cheek, and makes her look at him.

Sometimes, Tony’s emotional availability is far beyond what he makes it out to be and it still surprises Pepper sometimes. But above all, she’s relieved that he knows just when to be serious and genuine about these things. Right now, it helps her calm, and see the realistic side of things.

Tony would never have stayed with her if he didn’t love her anymore.

He would never have lead her on like that. He respects her far too much.

And of course, that feeling is mutual.

She sighs again, and nods her head, mimicking the tentative smile curling at the corners of Tony’s lips. “I’m sorry,” she says, but Tony shakes his head.

Wordlessly, instead of tucking her back into the passenger seat and driving them the rest of the way home, Tony takes Pepper’s hand and guides her toward the hood of his expensive car, where he urges her to sit down.

In the distance, the sun is just about to dip below the horizon. With all the things that had been going through Pepper’s mind, she barely noticed it before, but now she can see it all up ahead.

The sky is a canvas of blended hues of yellow, orange and pink, stretching far and wide. Tony sits down next to Pepper and puts his arm around her. Pepper doesn’t hesitate to lean into his side.

“It’s almost as if you planned this. The timing is immaculate,” Pepper comments as the sun sinks down further, remembering how Tony had delayed their departure by a little while, saying he still had some work left to ‘finish up on’. Pepper feels Tony smile where his cheek rests atop her head.

“I may or may not have heard through the grapevine that you weren’t feeling too well today,” he admits.

“Tony…”

Pepper loves sunsets. She’s always loved sunsets. It’s the sole reason she sits by the large floor to ceiling windows of their Malibu house every night, looking out over the sea and at all the colors swirling in the sky.

“I would do this any day for you, Pep.” Tony’s voice is soft. “I’ve already missed so many sunsets in my life. I never want to watch another one without you.”

“Ever?” Pepper asks with a curious quirk of her brow, lifting her head a touch to be able to look at Tony.

He smiles, and kisses her gently, pulling her close.

“Ever. Never ever.”

#pepperonygiftexchange #pepperony #tony stark/pepper potts #pepperony fanfic #my fanfic #my writing #fluff

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