eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea
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i’m tired of holding all of this
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Mary Oliver, from "We Should Be Well Prepared", Red Bird
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imagine being a gotham villain just living a peaceful life and suddenly here comes a vigilante with an actual gun
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Batman: and this is my precious son
Red Hood: FUCK you
Batman: he bites sometimes but we still love him
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I love the idea of Tim and Bruce being the two smartest people in batfam; So they occasionally say weird things that only they can understand.
Dick, panicked: OH MY GOD! I asked Kory out. What should I do now? What if she won't like me?
Bruce: Schrödinger's cat.
Dick:
Dick: ...what?
Tim: He's saying you won't findout unless you actually try it and go on a date with her.
Dick: Aww! That's so nice. Thanks, B.
Jason: Who's Schrödinger's cat?
...
Tim, with soaked shirt:
Duke: What happened?
Tim: The driving frequency corresponded to the resonance frequency of coffee, therefore the sloshing amplitude reached its maximum.
Duke: Say what again??
Bruce: He spilled his coffee.
Duke:
Duke: ...right.
Jason: Fucking weirdos.
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Bruce, making a coffee run for his kids- And the last drink is for my teenage son. I'm sorry it's a bit long.
Bruce, reading off the text message Tim sent detailing the order- A thirty two ounce mocha with seven extra espresso-
Barista, interrupting him and already starting the drink- One Tim Drake special, you mean? Yeah. We all know it. It's part of our training for new employees at this point.
Bruce-...
Bruce-..?
Bruce- I've... I've been meaning to talk to him about his caffeine intake-
Barista- Yeah, you probably should. I mean WE would, but he's also our best tipper
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PLEASE let him take off his head it’d be so funny I’ll give you a whole five bucks for it please dc
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
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