Hello Friends
good morning and welcome to the show! my name is ChewingOnMyLaptop and this is my writing blog. i write about cowboys, fantasy knights, failed hollywood starlets, and - above all - gay people. because isn't that what it's really about?
this blog is currently in its infancy and i surely have little idea what i'm doing here but buckle in because it'll be a good time. i've put a description of my current WIPs below :)
Current WIPs:
The Destruction of Abilene
a film about a cold, people-averse cowboy named Hank Harrison who finds himself responsible for delivering a strange little boy named Jesse Sinclair to his grandpa safe and sound. but this journey gets a whole lot more difficult when he realizes they’re being stalked by a pack of demons eager to feed on whomever is deemed guilty. it's set in the town of Abilene, Texas in 1910 and features demons in the shape of coyotes, farming lesbians, and - of course - gut-wrenching guilt and religious trauma!
The Prophesied Soldier
was once going to be a fantasy film but turned into a limited series when i realized i cannot world-build enough in 90 minutes. features a former prophecy-selected Chosen One named Cassian who is trying desperately to escape the fantasy kingdom he lives in and avoid being caught in another prophecy. he's joined by his lover Alaric who is the crown prince of said kingdom. during the journey, the pair find out that the Lord's Council has been attacking magic-users in the prince's absence and has been using the newest prophecy as an excuse to wipe out those they fear. this project is much gayer than TDOA but also features many flashbacks to traumatic events and the ever-classic emotional argument in the rain! fun!
Public Relations
finally, a novel! this one follows an actress named Maeve Samson on the ten-year anniversary of the film that made her famous. since her break into stardom, she has had very very very limited success in her career and decides to create a little ruse to get the attention back on her. she enters a fake PR relationship with a former co-star in order to reignite hollywood's interest in the both of them. there's just one little problem... she has a real-life girlfriend. but Archana's cool with it, right? it's just pretend after all! do we think this is gonna go well for her? NO! no, it's not. again, get ready for gay people, mental breakdowns, and many bad decisions being made
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How To Write Good Dialogue (Part 1)
I'm gonna start this by saying I'm not trying to sound like a know-it-all. I am just tired of posts like these being absolutely fucking useless. I am aware this is basically me screaming into a void and I’m more than okay with that.
This guide is meant for intermediate screenwriters, but beginners are also absolutely welcome. :)
(about me)
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I've noticed a rise in film students who want to make films that have no dialogue. Probably after your professor showed you Doodlebug, right? Fuck that.
I'll make another post about writing a short film, but all you need to know is: Don't waste the audience’s time. Most of these no-dialogue shorts have very little substance and take way too long to tell the shortest possible story. Not a good idea.
Useless Dialogue
Plain and simple, don't write useless dialogue. Useless dialogue is dialogue that just doesn't fucking matter. Dialogue matters by having ✨subtext.✨
What is subtext? Subtext is the meaning behind the action. That's it.
If I tell you that I love you and I got big doe eyes while I say it, it means I love you. If I tell you I love you through a clenched jaw without looking at you, I don't necessarily love you right now.
Simple, right? Great.
Now think about the subtext behind every line. Does your character mean what they're saying? Are they doing it to get what they want? What is going through their mind as they say it? As long as you know your character, you’ll have these answers ready to go. If you don’t, you’ll figure it out eventually. Just keep writing.
When you write your character walking into a Starbucks and saying, "One venti iced coffee," does that do something? Why do I need to see someone's boring Starbucks order? Do I need to know that your character's boring? Why are you writing a boring character? [Of course, in the rare situation where this is some revealing clue to the massive crime investigation, then it makes sense.]
Useless dialogue is any dialogue that has no meaning or purpose in your script. Delete and move on. You don't need to write entire conversations or scenes that bore us, just write what we care about.
I took a class once where my professor called a version of this "trimming the fat." Get us into your scene and out of your scene in as little time as it takes to have it achieve its full purpose in the script.
[P.S. You don’t “inject” subtext into your lines. Idk who started that vernacular in subtext teachings but I hate it.]
Show vs. Tell
I remember a glorious fight I got into with a Redditor last year about show vs. tell… TL;DR: Dialogue is “show” if you write it with intention and subtext. If someone says that dialogue is inherently “tell,” they’re wrong and can go fuck themselves.
Dialogue that is “tell” is expositional dialogue. But, hot take: Exposition isn't just in dialogue. It’s also those annoying clichés that make you roll your eyes in the theater (which we just call clichés and not exposition). I’m sure every professor I’ve had will disagree with this and then get me into a long conversation about it, but let’s ignore that for right now.
Have you ever seen a movie where a character rubs an old, worn-out photo of a young girl while looking depressed? That's exposition. That character has a dead daughter. No shit.
Clichés are incredibly annoying. We all know that. Assume that any cliché you see - in this context - is exposition and try your best not to write it. (Tropes are different and sometimes necessary, so I’m not talking about that.)
Point blank: When you have subtext in your lines, they are "show,” not “tell.”
Before moving on, I'll bring up that while technically the dead daughter photo is subtextual, it is as close to the character saying “My daughter is dead,” as you can get. Don't treat the audience like we're fucking stupid.
The First 15
If you don’t know what the Inciting Incident is, please look up “3 Act Structure” before reading this.
The first 15 pages of your script is the part that comes before the Inciting Incident. This is the part you want to get right because, although people probably won’t leave the theater, they will absolutely find something else on the streaming service they’re using. The people making said movie will also just toss your script in the trash before it’s even produced, so it's best to get it right.
Dialogue in the first 15 generally follows the same rules, but carries a heftier additional rule. All dialogue in the first 15 minutes must, must, must tell us something about your character.
Remember when I talked about that boring Starbucks order? Why is your character boring? Don’t write that. Don’t write nice characters. Or pleasant characters. Or friendly characters. No one cares.
You want empathy. This does not mean “relatable.” It means “empathetic.” There is a difference.
I personally relate to Vi in Arcane, but I empathize with Theo in Children of Men. Both are excellent, but one personally resonates a bit more with me. You cannot write a character that deeply resonates with every single person, it is impossible.
With each line of dialogue, you must be saying something about your character that generates the empathy. Instead of telling you how to do this, I’ll direct you to a movie that will do better than an explanation: Casablanca.
Watch how Rick interacts with the world. What kind of man is Rick? Watch what he does, what he says, and how he treats people and himself. Watch that empty glass on the table. Watch his contradictions. Everything. Those things matter and it’s what makes you want to watch Rick for the entire duration of Casablanca.
“Realism”
This is maybe more directorial, but make your characters human enough, not too human.
Too human is when you’ve tried your best to capture all those little life-like speech patterns. You know, the ones that no one fucking cares about.
If your character coughs, they’re sick. If they clear they’re throat, they’re uncomfortable. If a bruise isn’t going away, they’re going to die. Simple.
Every moment on screen matters. Everything the audience sees is meant to lead them to a conclusion. Not the conclusion, just a conclusion.
The realism you want is in the choices your character makes, not how many times they say “Uh,” in a sentence.
Conclusion
Dialogue matters and should not be treated lightly or without care. Once you have this all engrained in your mind, dialogue should become effortless.
If you want an excellent way to think about this, Robert McKee's Story has an excellent chapter that helped clarify this all for me. Here's an excerpt and the context.
Warning, spoilers for Chinatown.
"If I were Gittes at this moment, what would I do?"
Letting your imagination roam, the answer comes:
"Rehearse. I always rehearse in my head before taking on life's big confrontations."
Now work deeper into Gittes's emotions and psyche:
Hands white-knuckled on the steering wheel, thoughts racing: "She killed him, then used me. She lied to me, came on to me. Man, I fell for her. My guts are in a knot, but I'll be cool. I'll stroll to the door, step in and accuse her. She lies. I send for the cops. She plays innocent, a few tears. But I stay ice cold, show her Mulwray's glasses, then lay out how she did it, step by step, as if I was there. She con-fesses. I turn her over to Escobar; I'm off the hook."
EXT. BUNGALOW-SANTA MONICA
Gittes' car speeds into the driveway.
You continue working from inside Gittes' pov, thinking:
"I'll be cool, I'll be cool ..." Suddenly, with the sight of her house, an image of Evelyn flashes in your imagination. A rush of anger. A gap cracks open between your cool resolve and your fury.
The Buick SCREECHES to a halt. Gittes jumps out.
"To hell with her!"
Gittes SLAMS the car door and bolts up the steps.
Story by Robert McKee, pg 156
The context of this page is McKee's way of explaining how to write characters. I found it very helpful.
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Thanks for reading! I probably forgot something, so I made this a “part 1.”
I hope this helps someone since I’m really tired of finding short films on YouTube that are all fucking silent. The few who have done it well have been copied to death, so please write some dialogue. I promise you it’s so much better if you do.
Asks are open! :)
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