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bl3uvelvet · 3 years

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Found BWOC on YouTube

Edit: I’ve just realized that the episodes on YouTube are presented out of order. I did not realize this until I started season 2. No wonder some things didn’t make sense timeline-wise... So, yeah, just FYI the episodes presented in this are in the order the encore+ people put them in.

Ahhh, childhood. And also, hello again to one of my very first slash pairings (Tommy/Merton). Big Wolf on Campus aired from 1999-2002 (3 seasons).

So, I realize that this fandom probably hasn’t been active in a while, but I was rewatching the show and... wow, was there a lot that went over my head as a kid (full disclosure I was 11-13 when this originally aired). Apparently, I also still somehow picked up on it anyway.

So, I decided to create a list of my favorite questionable moments from Big Wolf on Campus Season 1. Keep in mind this show was meant for kids...mostly. Think Teen Wolf TV series light. The show is campy as fuck, but still kinda hilarious.

This list does not include all the times Tommy just generally touches and moves Merton around to wherever he wants him to be- which is A LOT- and leans over Merton and just tends to act somewhat... casually possessive? Like, the kind of casual, thoughtless touches to the arms and torso/back that you might see couples use. It also doesn’t include all the times Tommy protects Merton from a monster and/or T’N’T.

Honestly, this list is mostly just for me, but hey if someone else finds it interesting, sweet.

Episode 1: Uhh, see something you like there Tommy?

Episode 3: ...Pretty much the whole thing actually. Tommy gets pretty protective of Merton in this one (for good reason though). HOWEVER, at the dance, Tommy tries to talk up a girl (Stacey) and the she so very much implies that she thinks Tommy is there with Merton. Romantically.

And then there’s this line- “I was a little bummed about losing my role model, but I- uh, I had something even better.” CUT TO MERTON TALKING TO TOMMY. “And that’s good enough for me.”

Episode 4: Tommy convinces Merton to throw a party. And then he subsequently messes it up by being a typical jock with his jock buddies to Merton’s face. To make it up to Merton, he does the classic high school romantic moment and announces to the school, in the lunchroom from on top of a table, that he thinks Merton is pretty great. He spends the rest of the episode defending their friendship. (Also, Stacey is kind of a bitch in this episode. Becky has some pretty great lines, though.)

And apparently Merton gave him a flea bath?!

Episode 5: Tommy, not looking happy at Vesper (Muffy) kissing Merton.

Episode 6: Tommy monologuing about there being someone perfect for you out there. “But, if you’re lucky, if you’re really lucky, that person could even be in your third period English class.” Camera pulls back to reveal Merton (then Stacey and Tommy doing a scene together).

Also, Merton sounds a little sour about Tommy’s continued crush on Stacey during the bowling scene.

(Sidenote: Merton! Why would you put that in your mouth?! Bad goth boy!)

Episode 7: That scene where Tommy is about to bite Merton’s neck. (But, before that, the guy that thinks Tommy is coming on to him.)

Episode 8: Tommy is so upset at Merton being bullied by Tim and Travis that he “wolfs out.”

Detention- He’s, like, pretty much leaning right onto Merton.

Later- Uhh, your shirt is unbuttoned a little low there, Tommy, for going to see your friend.

Funny moment- Merton, unafraid to kick Tommy in the junk to get him to change. That’s true friendship right there.

Episode 9: Tommy wants to room with Merton in college. Is upset when Merton has plans to go overseas for higher education.

Episode 10: Merton is apparently very familiar with Tommy’s pro-bowling fantasies. Lmao.

According to Tommy, Aerosmith has a “hypnotic gaze”.

Episode 12: Did...did Merton just give Tommy a prostate exam?! AND WHAT ARE THE OTHER TESTS?! AND WHAT ARE THESE PHOTOS?!

Book scene. You’ll know. (ALL the double-speak.)

Episode 13: Merton is such a good (boy)friend. Buying Tommy ALL the fried chicken. And being so supportive of his seasonal weight gain.

Contortionists club Merton? Oh, hey, Tommy.

Tommy: “You were right. I was wrong.”

Merton’s rack in the dungeon. I mean lair.

Episode 14: Kind of like episode 6. Tommy says he isn’t normally interested in history, but something about this class...(Merton napping in the background while Stacey gives a presentation). Tommy continues to seem interested during Merton’s presentation as well.

Excavating the well scene.

Tommy is super excited to get Leonardo DiCaprio’s autograph.

Can’t bring himself to hurt Merton, who’s possessed by a ghost that wants to strangle Tommy.

Episode 15: I swear they’re trying to get rid of Stacey at this point. Merton backseat gaming. So adorable! Also, dear god, they’ve picked up each other’s habits.

Tommy- asks Merton out for a drink. Seems kinda bummed when Merton says he can’t because he has a meeting.

WHAT LOVE TRIANGLE TOMMY?! MERTON, MARGARET, AND WHO TOMMY??!! YOU’RE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THAT ROOM!! Plus, Tommy did not look thrilled at the mention of her being Merton’s girlfriend.

Episode 16: Tommy takes Merton’s words about individuality to heart and takes off his letterman jacket. Apparently, Merton’s opinion of him matters a great deal. Awww.

Tommy’s reaction when he realizes Merton is completely naked. Priceless.

Episode 17: Another one of those where pretty much the entire episode is an ode to how much Tommy values Merton.

Episode 19: Tommy- “buying flowers for your girlfriend”- Camera is on Merton

Episode 20: Was Tommy about to bite Merton on the neck?

Bad Tommy...still kinda likes Merton when he doesn’t like anyone else?

Episode 22: Tommy freaking out that he might have hurt Merton.

And yeah...that’s pretty much it for season 1. I feel like there was one scene I missed (something about some male celebrity being hotter for some reason, according to Tommy), but I can’t find it now. Oh well.

However, there are a lot of sweet little moments that didn’t make it on here as well. Tommy and Merton have a really close friendship, and there’s plenty of subtext to imply something else if that’s your thing as well.

#bwoc #big wolf on campus #tommy dawkins #merton dingle

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a-little-slice-of-fandom · 4 years

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I get so embarrassed when I see history fans talking about different Boleyns. Like, talking about her characterization on The Tudor, on The Six Wives of Henry, on Henry and His Six Wives etc. And then they get into Six and are like "... this Boleyn is a little bit different than the others, she isn't so strategic... actually she's not very smart". Like, we the fandom can say "If you pay attention and look at the script and watch the full bootleg, she's actually quite smart". But we can't ignore the fact that people that are not Six fans, and just Tudor times fans in general won't do all of those things. Boleyn is the most famous wife, so DLYH will be the song people will know the musical for, and we can't expect them to think "No, she's actually lying and dumbing herself down to win the audience's sympathy"

Firstly I’m not blaming anyone for their initial reaction to or their opinions or Don’t Lose Ur Head. If someone dislikes Boleyn’s portrayal in Six the musical then that’s completely fine, I’m not going to say that their opinion isn’t valid. My posts about Boleyn in Six aren’t for people who don’t like the musical, they’re for people who are already in the fandom. I wouldn’t expect non-fans to analyse the script of Six or the album because its not something their interested in. Six, like every other piece of media that has ever existed, is entirely subjective and I can totally understand why people would dislike Six and the characterisations of the queens. All I ask in return is that non fans respect that many people do like Six and enjoy the show as a whole and listen to us when we point out that maybe it isn’t as clear cut or things aren’t as immediately obvious as they first thought.

Here’s the thing about The Tudors though: yes, they had a fantastic version of Anne Boleyn and I adore Natalie Dormer in that role...but then I personally feel that same show completely butchered Katherine Howard. On the other hand, a lot of people agree that Six’s strongest asset is All You Wanna Do and it’s portrayal of Katherine as a victim rather than a villain. I will admit that I really disliked the portrayal of Howard in the Tudors when I first came across clips on YouTube. However, until I had seen the entire show, I refrained from forming a full opinion on her character and on series four of the Tudors as a whole because I knew it was unfair to judge an entire series by only a few clips. I still personally believe that they did Howard a massive disservice, but there are one or two good elements here and there that I wouldn’t have discovered unless I watched the whole show. I waited until I had access to all the content available and then formed my overall opinion, and when if someone tells me that they actually really like series 4 of the Tudors then I’m not going to try and take that away from them! In fact, I’m actively glad that they’re enjoying and having a good time with something I personally didn’t get a lot out of.

(Also isn’t Anne of a thousand days supposed to be inaccurate in places as well? Or am I thinking of a different play?)

Plus I think people need to look at how Six is presented. The Tudors is a serious, historical drama and as such you would want the characters in the show to reflect that tone and the premise. Six is a 75 minute musical, nearly always listed as a comedy, where the entire premise revolves around the fact that the six wives have somehow been brought back from the dead after 500 years and their first instinct was to form a girl band. Like...the idea of six alone is absolutely insane! The tone and therefore the characterisations are obviously going to be very different to what would be present in something that is more serious. It’s kind of like trying to compare an incredibly serious documentary to a horrible histories episode. Both are very different but that doesn’t mean one is bad and one is good. (Sidenote I adore horrible histories and it was what made me want to learn about and study history in the first place. I’m not knocking it or anything, I’m just using it as a comparison.)

Now I’m not saying that Toby and Lucy have a get out of jail free card when it comes to historical accuracy, in fact I’ve often talked about the things they could have done better or added in, but from the presentation of Six alone you should be able to tell that Six isn’t going to be like the Tudors or Anne of a thousand days or anything like that. It isn’t being presented in the same way. I knew from the moment I watched the Olivier’s performance with all the sparkly outfits and modern slang that I should take everything with a grain of salt and just enjoy Six for what it is: a fun and catchy musical with lots of female empowerment.

As a sidenote, I’ve always personally believed that historical accuracy and good are not synonyms. Something can be super historically accurate but then fall flat on its face from a dramatic perspective. But that’s not what happened with Six. Six isn’t historically accurate 100 percent of the time. It doesn’t hide this fact either, explicitly saying in the show “it’s not what went down in history” and the two writers admitting that they have regrets with some of the queens. But that doesn’t mean six isn’t good a show, because from a purely dramatic perspective...six does work. You can’t deny that Six is a good musical. It wouldn’t have 7 ongoing productions with two more in the works if it wasn’t working as a musical. It wouldn’t be nominated for and then win awards if it wasn’t working as a musical. It wouldn’t be worth millions of pounds if it wasn’t working as a musical. Again, not everyone has to like six the musical and I respect those who don’t but it’s success implies that it’s working on some basic level.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that I understand why people might write off Anne Boleyn from Six very quickly. I think it’s slightly unfair to write her off (especially if you’ve only listened to DLUH and not seen the whole show), but I do understand it and respect people’s personal opinions. All I ask is that they respect mine and the fact that I do like six and I do like the characterisation of Boleyn. I don’t think anyone should be embarrassed for saying they like something just because others dislike it.

(Also if any historical blogs want to vague post about this post...refer back to the sentences were I talked about respecting personal opinions. I’m not saying people should watch six to revise for their exams or anything, I’m just saying that people can still enjoy things that aren’t historically accurate and they shouldn’t feel bad about it)

#Plus none of the historical inaccuracies in six come off as actively malicious which is important too #Toby and Lucy aren’t trying to paint Boleyn in a certain light to further an agenda or anything #sixthemusical #six the musical #six #enya discusses: six

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softestsaddestbitch · 3 years

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December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him - so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was.

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me.

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there.

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

#personal #professor crush #professor crush community #teacher crush #monthly challenge #december

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whatwouldyourbiasdo · 4 years

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Finding Cinderella | Series | Chapter Four

Title: Finding Cinderella

Pairings: Donghae x reader,(Primary) Heechul x reader (Secondary), Kyuhyun x reader (Secondary)

Author’s Note: I have been planning this story for a while but have been battling many writers’ blocks in doing so. This story will mainly focus on Donghae and the reader but will have branching stories between Heechul, Kyuhyun and two secondary OC characters.

Sidenote: Yes, this series will include Kangin and Sungmin. This was originally started back when the two of them were still active members and in my heart they will always be members so I will include them wherever I see fit.

“Cheers!”

Both girls smiled as they clinked their shot glasses with a clear sound before pouring it down in one shot. After Eunmi finished work they met up by a little food and soju stall not far from her office there the two regularly met up if their planning allowed it for some much needed mindless fun.

“Ah… You have no idea how much I needed this!” Miya stretched her arms above her head with a soft groaning sound before reaching out for a piece of dukbokki. “I have been living on coffee and power bars for the last week!”

“That bad, huh?” Eunmi mused as she reached over for the bottle and poured in some more in both their glasses.

“Are you kidding?! I swear, they just decided to fit as much new stuff in the last week before exams and just expect you to catch up on time!” She slammed her fist onto the table as a growl escaped her lips, “It’s like they want us to fail!”

“Are you sure it’s not because you’ve been dozing off during lectures and now realize that the things they tried to teach you were actually kind of important?” The redhead snickered as she twirled the piece of dukbokki in front of her own face thoughtfully. Knowing her friend, especially from the brief time they spent together taking the same classes, her mind was usually everywhere except with the class.

“Yah!” The dark haired girl glared at her friend as she casually kicked her leg underneath the table. “You hush and be glad you don’t have to deal with that stress anymore!”

“Oh, like I’m living the lazy dream,” Eunmi scoffed, finally stuffing the piece of dukbokki in her mouth and chewing on it with a soft hum before continuing. “I have been on my feet running all over the place for the last couple of weeks trying to get stuff arranged for that party event.”

“At least at the end of it all you get to attend your own party!”

“You mean, I will get the honor of supervising the party,” A sigh escaped her lips as the realisation hit her hard. Sure, the party was meant for artists, celebrities, fans AND staff but since working for the company she couldn’t remember a single instance in which she was able to enjoy any event they organised. If she was even present, she was busy running around armed with a clipboard and her Bluetooth headset.

“Didn’t you say it was held on your day off, before?”

“Yes, but I think I’ll just not attend instead,” She pursed her lips thoughtfully, mindlessly poking a piece of food with her plastic fork. ”The moment they see me, they can’t help but ask me to do stuff.”

“So?” Miya’s brow shot up as her eyes focused on the piece of dukbokki her friend had been poking, reaching over with her own fork as she tried to push her friend’s away. “Just tell them no, it’s your day off and it’s your right to party hard with the idols!”

“And lose my job? No thanks!” She let out a soft laugh, quickly followed by a cringing whine as she sunk in her seat. “And I think it’s better if I don’t bump into any idols anymore… I make such a fool out of myself.”

“Hah!” Miya exclaimed proudly as she had succeeded in sticking her fork in the dukbokki and held it up in triumph, happily showing it into her mouth. “Anymore? Hold up, who did you bump and how did it feel?!”

“I don’t want to talk about it...”

“Ya~ah! As your best friend and wifey I have a right to know if I’m going to lose you to a famous hottie or not!” Miya protested as she once again stomped her hand onto the table, almost knocking over the glasses of soju in the process.

“Oh, now you’re my wifey again?” Eunmi stared at her skeptically, “But when I ask you to buy my coffee you suddenly don’t know I even exist!”

“Hey! I am a poor college kid, I barely have time to buy myself coffee, let alone buy yours too!”

“I was going to pay you back later that day!” Eunmi clicked her tongue. “And so you choose your own needs over your wifey? Aishhh, this is the person I married?”

“Yes, and until you tell me what guy I have to give you away to, you’re stuck with me!” She grinned proudly as she pointed her fork at Eunmi. “So, spill.”

Eunmi let out another groan as she recalled the moment in her head, the embarrassment rushing over her once again. “I… Ugh… I made a complete fool out of myself...”

“Yes, we’ve established that. What happened?”

“Well, I was asked to order some food for Super Junior by their manager as they were reviewing the entries for the invitation event...” Eunmi explained, so far in the story nothing weird had happened. “And when I came back for delivery, their manager slammed the door into me and I almost fell… come to think of it it might have been better if I did fall...”

“Yes, because falling on your butt with take out delivery scattered on the floor would be better than… what, exactly?” Miya couldn’t quite follow how anything could be worse or more embarrassing than face planting in front of a group of world star idols, much less if food was involved.

“Instead I fell into… him...” She cringed as the moment replayed in her mind. Her skin tingling as she could once again feel his hands on her shoulders, the warmth of his chest supporting her tumble.

“Like… On top of him? Both asses down on the ground? Yours coincidentally but strategically placed on--”

“YAH!” Eunmi interrupted her friend loudly, which caused some of the other guests to stare their way, the redhead quickly sinking back into her seat. No, if the scenario her friend was implying had really happened she would have never been able to show her face anywhere ever again. She’d probably get fired, too. “Nothing like that, aish… I just… He caught me in my fall and then I just… zoned out.”

“Zoned out like zombie zoned out? Drool dripping down your chin zoned out?”

“Can you take this seriously, please?” Eunmi huffed, glaring at her friend across the table.

“Sorry, but you’re so vague… If you don’t fill in the blanks then I’m forced to let my imagination do so and well… The results may differ from reality.”

Finally, Miya shot up in her seat as Eunmi proceeded to punish her comment with a firm kick against the shin. With a pout curling her bottom lip, she rubbed the spot that got hit before reaching out for more food to ease the pain.

“It wasn’t even me bumping into him that was so embarrassing… It was…” She bit her lower lip as she thought back again. The way his eyes felt like they were staring straight into her soul, taking away all confidence and making her heart stop beating for the slightest of seconds. It was something she had never experienced before. A feeling she couldn’t quite place, like she wasn’t herself. “Aish… He must have thought I was such a nuisance to say the least… And how could I possibly have thought for even a second that he was complimenting me?! AISHHH!” She ran her hands through her hair in frustration as she started scolding herself for losing her composure.

“Please, like you’re the first person to get weak in the knees before him? He’s an idol, he’s used to it.” She laughed softly, shaking her head. “By the way, who is this he we’re speaking of here?”

“Yeah, but I work for the company. I’m the most reliable source they have, I can’t just get all uncomfortable just because some random guy stared at me...” She huffed, quickly downing her shot of soju as she needed something bitter to punish herself and get her mind out of the cloud of embarrassment and self-cringing she was in. “Lee Donghae is the he we are speaking of.”

“Oh! The fishboy!”

“He’s not a fish.”

“Isn’t that his nickname, though?” Miya frowned as she tried to recall what her friend had once rambled about. She wasn’t a big Super Junior fan herself, or at least not as big as Chanhee for example. She appreciated their musicality and found their appearances on stage or television rather amusing but she couldn’t exactly be placed in the ELF fandom just yet.

“I suppose...” Eunmi shrugged, a lot less interested in his nickname as she was in pouring herself another shot.

“And he complimented you?”

“Nah, he complimented the pizza and chicken...” Eunmi pursed her lips as she remembered how awkward she felt when he pointed that out himself. Of course he was talking about the food.

Miya stared at her friend before bursting out in laughter, so much so that she had to hold onto the table as to not fall off her chair. “Oh man!” She breathed in between laughter. “You got… food-zoned!”

“Yah! I did not get food-zoned!” she pouted as her friend kept laughing. “There is no such thing!”

“If there wasn’t then you guys just invented it!” She continued her laughing fit as Eunmi poured down her shot in frustration, a constant pout on her face. “What if he went back to his members and talked about you?” She wiped away the tears that rolled down her cheek from laughing as she leaned in, lowering her voice so slightly to resemble a man. “Ay, I just bumped into the weirdest chick ever. She stared at me all googly eyes and thought I complimented her on smelling nice when really… I was falling in love with chicken! How weird!” Another round of laughter rolled down her throat as leaned back, clutching her stomach as it was starting to hurt.

“Aishhh...” Eunmi felt even more miserable now that she mentioned it, sinking even lower in her seat If she were lucky, he had forgotten all about what happened or the way she looked at him back there. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

After finishing their food and the bottles of soju they ordered, the two friends parted ways.

Miya couldn’t help but stumble her way over to the nearest convenient store, drinking soju always made her hungry even if she drank it with a meal and she was in dire need of some delicious instant ramen. It also didn’t help that it was one of the few things she was still able to afford, being the poor college student that she was.

She had her hoodie pulled over her head to shield her from the cold, waddling slightly as the alcohol managed to throw her balance off just a tad. She wasn’t drunk, tipsy at best but the ability of walking in a straight line had long since disappeared.

Humming softly and with exaggerated steps, she turned the corner to enter the convenient store and found herself slamming into something, or rather someone. Her head collided with something hard, immediately snapping her out of her thoughts as she stumbled back and promptly landed on her butt, accompanied by the sound of cans dropping onto the cold hard floor.

“Aishh...” She muttered with her eyes pinched close as she tried to ignore the ringing in her ears after headbutting whatever it was she hit, rubbing the spot roughly as if to wipe the pain away. “Stupid lamp post”

“Yah, who are you calling a lamp post?!”

The rough voice hissing at her surprised her, as she finally opened her eyes. Her gaze was on the ground first, noticing the cans of beer, packed ramen and cat food scattered around on the floor as she then began to note the shadow cast down on the floor beside it. Following the shadow lead to a pair of black sneakers belonging to a black haired, averagely built young man. He wasn’t too big nor too small, he didn’t seem to be extremely muscular but he wasn’t scrawny either. His face was partially covered by his black mask but his dark glare shot daggers straight through her heart.

“Ah… I’m… Sorry...” She mumbled as she got up from the floor, collecting some of his groceries that had falling because of their collision.

“Sorry?” He muttered back, his voice muffled behind his mask. “Aish… What is your head made off? Wood?” Rubbing his own head painfully, she could hear him groan ever so slightly.

“Yah... ” She began as she held out the groceries to him. “Your head is pretty hard too, I thought I bumped into a lamp post...”

“Do I look like a lamp post to you?” He hissed as he grabbed the groceries out of her hands in a hasty manner. He glared at her again before checking if everything he bought was still in order. “Watch where you’re going next time! Or don’t go on a stroll when you’re drunk!”

“Drunk? I’m not drunk! I am perfectly sober!” She protested, at first she felt sorry for bumping into him as she knew she was walking a bit too fast and reckless for it to feel like a simple nudge, but the way he was scolding her didn’t suit her at all. “You’re to blame too! Who walks out of a store without looking?!”

“Please, I could smell the soju from a mile away!” He replied with a soft scoff accompanying his words as Miya sneakily tried to smell her own breath to see if he was right. “Me? Who enters a store without politely waiting for all other people to exit?!”

“Aish!” She clicked her tongue as she averted her gaze, trying her best not to stomp his foot out of frustration. Typical guy behavior, always blaming it on someone else. “I hope my head left a bump!”

“This punk!” He growled. “Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?”

“Yeah,” She replied with full confidence. “A reckless brat, that’s who! Calling me drunk when you’re the one carrying beer! Aish!”

“At least I am old enough to drink!” He growled back. “You’re lucky I was in a good mood before this...” He seemed to be threatening her, the attitude with which he spoke didn’t help his case either.

Miya wanted to respond when another voice from across the street caught their attention.

“Hyung! Hurry! It’s cold!” Both pair of eyes gazed over to the person waving on the other side, he looked a tad smaller than the man she bumped into, the light too dim for her to get a good look at his face but his tone of voice sounded a lot friendlier than the stranger she was arguing with.

“You got lucky...punk!” He growled as he passed her, not helping himself as he nudged his shoulder against hers as he did.

Miya glared after him. “Yeah? Well…. L-lamp post!” She called after him, not being able to come up with a better insult at the moment. She hissed to herself as she turned around and stomped into the convenience store. “Aishh...”

“You look angry, Heechul hyung...” Donghae stared at the older male’s face as he casually draped his arm over his shoulders. “What happened? Did that girl reject you?”

“Please!” Heechul immediately bit back, still feeling irritated by his unfortunate encounter. “I wouldn’t give a person like her the time of day!”

“That bad, huh?” The younger male couldn’t help but chuckle as he lowered his arm, nudging him in the side. “Why did you give you that adorable nickname then? Lamp post hyung?”

“Aish, this punk… Are you asking to be punched?” He stopped, turning to glare at the younger male who couldn’t stop grinning as he dared to tease the almighty Heechul. Donghae was probably one of the only people who could nag and annoy him and get away with it, but that didn't mean he wouldn’t retaliate with some sort of threat.

“You wouldn’t,” Donghae grinned proudly as he continued walking. “Lamp post hyung loves me too much!”

“Yah! Lee Donghae-yah!”

#super junior #super junior donghae #super junior lee donghae #super junior scenario #Super junior story #super junior scenarios #super junior imagine #donghae #donghae scenario #donghae scenarios #donghae imagine #donghae story #donghae x reader

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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years

Text

Written In The Stars XXIII (Harry Potter xFem!Oc)

A/N: I already finished this book as well and I’m currently writing book three, I’ve never been this professional in my fucking life- Sidenote, I should be doing my school work but I can’t even bother

P.S. If there are any mistakes or something I apologize, I sort of edited this like a month ago but never proofread cause I’m a lazy bastard

Words: 3,207

Warnings: The most glorious fight scene of the whole book

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Five: Gilderoy Lockhart.

She noticed Harry's condition improving after a week.

He gained weight and slept better because of it, Mrs. Weasley would fix his items of clothing that were a bit too big or sort of messed up and would give them back on his size and no longer ripped.

She could tell he wasn't used to positive attention, let alone coming from two adults that actually cared about him. Emily and Mel were more than happy to have welcomed such a lovely family into their lives.

A week after Harry's arrival they received their Hogwarts' letters listing the new books for their term:

'SECOND-YEAR STUDENTS WILL REQUIRE:

The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2 by Miranda Goshawk

Break with a Banshee by Gilderoy Lockhart

Gadding with Ghouls by Gilderoy Lockhart

Holidays with Hags by Gilderoy Lockhart

Travels with Trolls by Gilderoy Lockhart

Voyages with Vampires by Gilderoy Lockhart

Wanderings with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockhart

Year with the Yeti by Gilderoy Lockhart'

"You've been told to get all Lockhart's books, too!" Fred said, looking at Harry's letter, "The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher must be a fan - bet it's a witch."

"That lot won't come cheap," said George, with a quick look at his parents, "Lockhart's books are really expensive..."

"Well, we'll manage," said Mrs. Weasley, "I expect we'll be able to pick up a lot of Ginny's things secondhand."

Mel and Emily shared a look, maybe if the vault belonged to them fully they would be able to lend them the money they needed, but that vault belonged to the Dumbledore family. Technically, it didn't belong to her at all, she was a child.

"Oh, are you starting at Hogwarts this year?" Harry asked Ginny, he knew the answer, but he was trying to be kind.

Mel saw the little girl get completely red at Harry's question and looked away, stifling her laughter with food.

"Morning, all," said Percy, "Lovely day."

He was about to sit down when he squealed, holding what it seemed a grey, old bird.

"Errol!" said Ron, taking the limp owl from Percy, "Finally - he's got Hermione's answer. I wrote to her saying we were going to try and rescue you from the Dursleys."

He took the poor owl and laid it back next to his perch.

'Dear Ron, Mel, and Harry if you're there,

I hope everything went all right and that Harry is okay and that you didn't do anything illegal to get him out, Ron, because that would get Harry into trouble, too. I've been really worried and if Harry is all right, will you please let me know at once, but perhaps it would be better if you used a different owl because I think another delivery might finish your one off. I'm very busy with schoolwork, of course-'

"How can she be?" said Ron in horror. "We're on vacation!"

"Shh! Let me finish!"

'-and we're going to London next Wednesday to buy my new books. Why don't we meet in Diagon Alley? Let me know what's happening as soon as you can.

Love from Hermione.'

"Well, that fits in nicely, we can go and get all your things then, too," said Mrs. Weasley, starting to clear the table. "What're you all up to today?"

They had planned to go back to the hill where they usually played Quidditch, a safe land where the trees covered enough so the muggles couldn't see them.

Off they went, leaving Percy and Ginny -she hid in her room and said she felt ill, but Mel knew it was because she couldn't be in the same place as Harry long periods of time- and Harry asked why Percy was acting so oddly.

"Wish I knew what he was up to," said Fred, frowning. "He's not himself. His exam results came the day before you did; twelve O.WL.s and he hardly gloated at all."

"Ordinary Wizarding Levels," George explained, seeing their puzzled looks. "Bill got twelve, too. If we're not careful, we'll have another Head Boy in the family. I don't think I could stand the shame."

"There's no shame on wanting to be better," Mel scowled him, "there's no need to make others feel bad just because you don't share the same dreams"

"Lady, I'm sorry but if your biggest dream is to have a nice looking grade then you should try to keep looking, cause that's not it"

"Floo what? "

"Powder," Emily took a pinch and showed it to her, "it's faster this way, here," she put it on her daughter's hand, "it's alright, just threw it into the fire and say exactly to where are you heading."

"Watch us first," Fred said, and he took a pinch himself and threw it.

He walked into the green emerald fire and said in a loud voice, "Diagon Alley!"

He vanished.

Mel walked in next, not wanting to stand there and wait for anxiety to grow. She threw the powder and stepped in, the memory of the time she walked through flames with Harry made her panic a little, but she shook her head, almost yelling:

"Diagon Alley!"

She felt her body being pushed down onto the ground, but the floor was gone and a lot of images passed in front of her eyes making her dizzy, she was unable to move and didn't try to, scared of hurting herself she hoped it would stop on its own.

And it did, after a few seconds of aimlessly falling, she landed sideways on the dusty ground.

"Well done, lady," Fred offered a hand, helping her get on her feet, "How was it for the first time?"

"Why can't wizards just use cars," She whined, trying and failing to get off the dirt from her clothes"

Fred laughed.

"That's just not as fun," He tried to help her clean her sweater, but it was useless.

George appeared right after, swiftly landing and not caring to brush off the dirt from his body.

"Lovely, isn't it?" He grinned, examining the girl's ill expression, "you don't look happy"

Mr. Weasley landed behind his son, brushing the soot from his robes.

"We should get going, the rest will catch up with us"

They nodded and started to walk, Mel and the boys would gravitate towards the funny-looking objects with curiosity, but Mr. Weasley was quick to put them back on track.

"Is not like we can buy them anyway," Fred sighed, "we're just looking"

"Sometimes we can design things based on stuff we find around here," George told her in a low whisper, "it gives us an idea of what things wizards and witches find amusing"

"What for?" She asked with interest.

"We're planning to open our own joke shop someday," Fred said proudly, "one day we'll get the money and we'll make the best items for all kinds of pranks and tricks"

"It sounds fun," Mel agreed, "have you finished one of those inventions already?"

"Not really," George grimaced, "every time mum finds our experiments she throws them away, is not exactly helpful"

As he finished his sentence, Mrs. Weasley, Emily, Ron, and Ginny, ran up to them.

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley cried, "We can't find him!"

"What!?" Mel rushed up to her mum, "What happened!?"

"He messed up the words," Ron lamented, "not his fault really, but now we don't know where he is"

"He can't be too far," Her mother tried to calm them down, "Harry's a smart boy, and he didn't completely mess up the words, just a little... must be around here"

They split into two groups, Mel going with her mother, Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley.

"I don't understand why everything always happens to him," Mel whispered to Ginny.

"I just hope he's okay," Her friend pouted, "poor Harry..."

"This is exactly why I think some traditions are just crazy, look how dangerous this is! What if he appears inside a muggle's chimney?"

"Can't happen," Ginny shook her head, "only magical places have floo line, no muggle houses are connected"

It took them almost half an hour to find the boy. He was in front of Gringotts, Hagrid and Hermione were also with him, though she didn't know how they had found each other.

"Oh, Harry - oh, my dear - you could have been anywhere-"

Gasping for breath Mrs. Weasley pulled a large clothes brush out of her bag and began sweeping off the soot Hagrid hadn't managed to beat away. Mrs. Weasley took Harry's glasses, gave them a tap of her wand, and returned them, good as new.

"Well, gotta be off," said Hagrid, who was having his hand wrung by Mrs. Weasley, "See yer at Hogwarts!"

"See you Hagrid!" Harry walked up to her and stare. "What?"

"You're not going to scowl me about this?"

"I'm not your mum," She crossed her arms, taking full offense, "I was worried but it wasn't your fault"

"Harry!" Emily walked up to him and hugged him tightly, "I'm so relieved! You have to be more careful, Harry!"

"You see, I don't have to scowl you when my mum can do it herself," She smirked.

"Hi Mel!" Hermione walked up to her and gave her a hug, "It's so good to see you!"

"Hi!" She replied.

"Guess who I saw in Borgin and Burkes?" Harry asked his friends as they climbed the Gringotts steps. "Malfoy and his father."

"Did Lucius Malfoy buy anything?" asked Mr. Weasley.

"No, he was selling-'

"So he's worried," said Mr. Weasley, "Oh, I'd love to get Lucius Malfoy for something..."

"You be careful, Arthur," said Mrs. Weasley "That family's trouble. Don't go biting off more than you can chew-"

"So you don't think I'm a match for Lucius Malfoy?" said Mr. Weasley.

But his anger soon went away as they met Hermione's parents at the main entrance.

"Nice to meet you," Mel noted the resemblance between Hermione and her mother, she wondered if she looked like that standing next to her own mother.

"But you're Muggles!" said Mr. Weasley, "We must have a drink! What's that you've got there? Oh, you're changing Muggle money. Molly, look!"

"Meet you back here," Ron said to Hermione as the Weasleys, Emily, Mel and Harry were led off to their underground vaults by another Gringotts goblin.

When the groups split, Emily discretely told Mel that she'd be going with Mrs. Weasley to buy Ginny's stuff and she wouldn't stop nagging until she accepted their help.

"Molly's been so nice to us, it's the least we can do"

"But, Dumbledore's vault-"

"This is from my own vault," When she saw her daughter's expression she added, "I have some savings there, enough in case Dumbledore's wasn't enough for your things. I didn't know they were so... rich"

"Okay," Mel nodded, "I'll see you in a while"

Harry bought four large strawberry-and-peanut-butter ice creams for them, they walked through Diagon Alley, examining the shop windows until Hermione dragged them to buy their equipment.

Inside a Wizarding Joke Shop, they saw Fred, George, and Lee Jordan buying Dr. Filibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start, No-Heat Fireworks. Percy was inside a shop of used, broken things that looked more like junk, reading a book called 'Prefects Who Gained Power.'

"A study of Hogwarts prefects and their later careers," Ron read aloud off the back cover. "That sounds fascinating..."

"Don't start," Mel warned him.

"Go away," Percy snapped.

"'Course, he's very ambitious, Percy, he's got it all planned out... He wants to be Minister of Magic..." Ron told them as they left.

"He's got a lot of work ahead of him," Mel raised a brow, "no wonder he stays all day inside his room"

They headed to Flourish and Blotts. As they approached, they saw a huge group of people trying to get in. A large banner above them:

'GILDEROY LOCKHART will be signing copies of his autobiography MAGICAL ME today 12:30 P.m. to 4:30 P.m.'

"We can actually meet him!" Hermione squealed. "I mean, he's written almost the whole booklist!"

The crowd was mostly witches, a poor worker stood at the entrance saying, "Calmly, please, ladies... Don't push, there... mind the books, now..."

Harry, Mel, Ron, and Hermione squeezed inside. They each grabbed a copy of The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2 and sneaked up the line to where the rest of the Weasleys and Emily were standing with Mr. and Mrs. Granger.

"Oh, there you are, good," said Mrs. Weasley, "We'll be able to see him in a minute..."

Mel grabbed her mother's hand to get her attention, Emily looked down to her daughter.

"You helped?" She asked in a whisper.

"As much as she let me," Emily frowned, "not even close to enough, she would only let me help with fewer things, potion ingredients and the floo powder because I insisted that we had used it too"

"That's something," Mel sighed, "wish we could do more..."

"We'll be right here if they need more help," Emily stroked the girl's hair softly, "don't lose sleep on it, love..."

Gilderoy Lockhart came into view, he was all too flashy for Mel's liking. He enjoyed too much all the attention, no one with common sense would enjoy his own face that badly.

"Out of the way, there," A photographer snarled at Ron, "This is for the Daily Prophet-"

"Big deal," said Ron, rubbing his foot since the man had carelessly stepped on it.

"Watch where you're going, don't be an animal," Mel said loudly, her mother clasped a hand on her shoulder and murmured in a horrified whisper 'Mel!'

Gilderoy Lockhart looked up. He saw Ron and then he saw Harry.

Then he stood up and shouted, "It can't be Harry Potter?"

The man sprinted towards them and snatched Harry away from the group, dragging him right up the front of the place. Mel watched in horror as the photographer took pictures of Harry, face red, hand trapped in Gilderoy's, who was whispering something to the boy.

"We have to get him out of there," She whispered to Ron.

"How exactly?" Ron said, just as shocked as her.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Gilderoy spoke up, now wrapping an arm around Harry's shoulders, "What an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for some time! When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography -which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge-"

"How generous..." She grumbled.

"-He had no idea that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

"Oh... great," Mel gulped, "why?"

"I'm not sure your uncle thought that through," Her mother said lowly, "but I trust you'll have interesting classes at least"

Mel nodded, she walked over to where Harry was heading now that he was free and planned to apologize for causing the whole situation. He stopped in front of Ginny, giving her the books.

"You have these," Harry mumbled, tipping the books into the girl's cauldron. "I'll buy my own-"

He was so considerate, all the time! ...There it was again, the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" Mel turned around, finding Draco standing a few feet away. "Famous Harry Potter, can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."

"Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" said Ginny.

She was giving Malfoy a deathly stare. Mel was surprised, she had never seen her spoke like that in front of Harry.

"Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend!" Malfoy laughed.

Poor Ginny lost her courage, Ron and Hermione soon joined in.

"Oh, it's you," said Ron in disgust, "Bet you're surprised to see Harry here, eh?"

"Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Weasley," retorted Malfoy. "I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for all those."

Ron dropped the books inside Ginny's cauldron and move towards him, Harry and Hermione stopped him before he could touch the kid.

"Sod off, Malfoy," Mel pushed Ron away, "we don't have the time for you"

"Ron!" said Mr. Weasley, who had seen the scene from a few spaces away, he had Fred and George with him. "What are you doing? It's too crowded in here, let's go outside."

"Well, well, well - Arthur Weasley."

That had to be Malfoy's father, he stood with the same air of superiority and was just as dislikeable from bare sight as his son.

"Lucius," said Mr. Weasley.

"Busy time at the Ministry, I hear," said Mr. Malfoy. "All those raids ... I hope they're paying you overtime?"

He reached into Ginny's cauldron and extracted a very old, very battered copy of A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration.

"Obviously not," Mr. Malfoy said. "Dear me, what's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?"

Mr. Weasley went scarlet red.

"We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy," he said.

"Clearly," said Mr. Malfoy, "The company you keep, Weasley... and I thought your family could sink no lower"

Mr. Weasley had thrown himself at Mr. Malfoy, knocking him backward into a bookshelf.

"Get him, Dad!" Yelled the twins.

Mel covered her mouth in surprise, unable to move.

Mrs. Weasley yelled, "No, Arthur, no!"

"Gentlemen, please - please!" The worker begged, "Break it up, there, gents, break it up -"

"Enough!" Emily pulled out her wand and made a swift movement, both men being pushed away from each other.

Hagrid then appeared, walking over to them and pulling them to their feet, keeping them apart. Mr. Weasley had a cut lip and Mr. Malfoy had a black eye. He gave the book back to Ginny aggressively.

"Here, girl -take your book- it's the best your father can give you-" Pulling himself out of Hagrid's grip and leaving the shop with his son.

"Yeh should've ignored him, Arthur," said Hagrid, almost lifting Mr. Weasley off his feet as he straightened his robes. "Rotten ter the core, the whole family, everyone knows that - no Malfoy's worth listenin' ter - bad blood, that's what it is - come on now - let's get outta here."

Mel found her mother's eyes and they had the same worried-amused expression. Emily turned to the Grangers.

"All right?"

"I think you should ask that to Arthur," Said Mr Granger politely, looking pale as paper.

"A fine example to set for your children... brawling in public... what Gilderoy Lockhart must've thought-" Mrs Weasley scowled.

"He was pleased," said Fred. "Didn't you hear him as we were leaving? He was asking that bloke from the Daily Prophet if he'd be able to work the fight into his report- said it was all publicity-"

"A brilliant professor, don't you think?" Harry asked her, a mocking smile on his face.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@tiphareth2018 @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @celestialhayi @omiwashere @mikariell95 @thesuitelifeofafangirl

#twoidiots writing #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x reader #ron weasley #hermione granger #fred weasley #george weasley #ginny weasley #arthur weasley #molly weasley #rubeus hagrid #lucius malfoy #draco malfoy #WITT fic

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leostudyblr · 5 years

Text

studying sucks as someone with adhd/add

and that’s not talked about nearly enough! in general and in the studyblr community.

i’m making this “guide” (of sorts) to, at the very least, let adhd/add ppl who struggle in school know that they’re not alone!

(also, just for reference, for the rest of this post i will be referring to adhd and add people as just adhd, because that is the official diagnosis for both. just know that i’m not excluding y’all inattentive types!!)

btw: neurotypical/non adhd studyblr are allowed and 100% encouraged to reblog this post!

distractions. my mortal enemy

writing this post is literally my distraction from writing my english essay. which is weird because i’m actually interested in the topic of my essay!

so why am i hyperfocusing on something completely unnecessary?

in short, because dopamine! that bastard.

long version is that people with adhd have unusually low levels of dopamine (the happy chemical, if you weren’t aware!) in their brain. this makes it extremely hard to stop doing something that is giving you dopamine and switch to something that won’t give you that sweet sweet dopamine.

in my case, it means that it’s hard to stop writing this post (which is about something i’m very passionate about, albeit hypocritical of me) and write my essay (which i’m also passionate about, but that includes writing an essay).

also, under this category i’d like to mention something that i found on the wikipedia page for hyperfocus that is just a great explanation of adhd!

“Some types of ADHD are a difficulty in directing one's attention (an executive function of the frontal lobe), not a lack of attention.”

thanks, wikipedia! what a nice helpful source. (note: wikipedia is a great resource that we all use, but that doesn’t mean you are bound to donate. don’t, if you don’t want to. they don’t have a fundraiser going on at the time of writing this, but.... still. don’t feel bad. other people will donate, and wikipedia will stay running.)

^ can you tell i’m adhd. geez. ok moving on

(another sidenote: apparently i lied. as soon as i went on another wikipedia page, they asked me to donate. damnit)

how do i... stop getting as distracted?

first off, understand that hyperfocus/lack of focus is part of your condition. you are not broken or “bad” for not being able to focus on what you need/want to.

try a pomodoro timer. this has literally saved me so much.

try a pomodoro... with friends! let them keep you accountable and working on what you need to.

have you been watching youtube for 3 hours and haven’t gotten out of bed that entire time? get up. get moving, walk to your kitchen and get a snack! some water, for god’s sake. take your snack time to think about what you need to work on and decide on one thing to do before you get another snack.

��but i can’t do just one task at a time! i’m better at multitasking!”

might i suggest fidget toys? i used to say that i was great at multitasking—no. no one is good at multitasking, it’s just not human nature to multitask. just trust me on this one, aight?

btw, sleep. not sleeping will only make it harder to focus on the things you have to do!!

if you take meds: take your frickin meds, dude. like seriously. take them.

if you don’t take meds and want to: talk to your doctor asap. tell them your concerns, and how adhd affects your life on a daily basis. and stimulant meds are not the only option!! be open to suggestions from your doctor, but if you feel like they don’t get what you’re going through: you gotta tell them again. give them more info, because what you tell them is literally the only way they’ll know something is wrong.

getting. overwhelmed. a trap that’s too easy to fall into

lord knows i’ve been overwhelmed. i’m overwhelmed right now. maybe you’ve been sick, or there was a really hard assignment in this class or that, and you had an exam in three classes over a two day time period—i get it. and you felt like this was your year! you were doing so well! but now you have late work in multiple classes and you’re not sure what to actually... do for those assignments.

a lot of this overwhelmed business has to do with not knowing how to start. you have this pile of work to do, how are you supposed to do any of it when there’s just so much and you know you can’t possibly get it all done.

“try and do one thing,” people will say

“just start! it’ll be easier once you start,” people will continue saying

“but it’s too much,” you’ll argue

“you don’t have to do all of it,” they’ll argue back, and you’ll realise that they’re right but it’s so easy for them. for you it’s like pulling teeth to start writing that essay outline or to start working on those chemistry problems. it feels like there’s no point if you don’t finish it—if you can’t turn it in, what’s even the point?

hey. i feel you. ppl w/o executive dysfunction just don’t understand how your brain works differently. and that’s not your fault.

the main thing i can say is: talk to people who do understand.

your friends that have seen you struggling in school forever? they get it. maybe they don’t understand exactly how you do things differently, but they see the grief you go through each year just to survive.

if you don’t talk to people about what’s going on in your life, you’re gonna explode. like actually.

so how do i stop from getting overwhelmed?

talk about your stress early on, before it’s “too late”

that said, it’s never too late. it is NEVER too late to get help.

you got friends who have the same classes as you? have you made friends in your classes? ask them for clarification on assignments, if it’s too scary to go to the teacher.

i know that for me, at least, it doesn’t even cross my mind to ask my teacher about these supposedly silly thing! but i’ve started trying to take into account that if it’s preventing me from knowing where to start something, it’s not silly. it’s something that i need to ask about.

if you can afford to do so, consider asking your doctor if they can refer you to a therapist. this comes from someone with zero experience in therapy (altho i really want to! it just hasn’t worked out that way yet.), so take it with a HEAVY grain of salt. i just know that from other’s experiences, it has helped them immensely.

self esteem. what’s that?

with all this getting distracted and overwhelmed, it’s easy to confuse your adhd with yourself. yes, you have adhd, but it’s not all of you. and did you know that adhd people have enhanced creativity? you probably did, actually. isn’t it amazing that people with adhd have figured out how to persevere and live in a world not built for us!

now, i’d like to address some common self-esteem issues in adhd individuals and why it’s all your brain tricking you!

feeling down about our abilities.

this can mean not feeling good enough when you fail to do something that you previously thought you could do easily.

this is your brain trying to tell you that you can do better than this, but the signal is getting messed up somewhere along the way! when something doesn’t turn out as well as you want it to, you have to take that and push down the urge to beat yourself up about it and use that disappointment and turn it into self improvement!

comparing ourselves to neurotypical people.

“why can everyone else do it, and not me?”

because your brain isn’t built to work like that, silly! you need to think hard about why you can’t do it the same way as them—and find a way to accomplish the same goal but with a method that works for you.

it feels like we get more criticism than praise.

listen. maybe you are getting more criticism than praise—and that sucks! like absolutely, positively fuckin sucks. but more than likely:

that’s the rsd baby. your mind naturally takes criticism as a personal attack, AND it amplifies it in your mind! double whammy, if you will. this is why having someone to talk to who supports you is so important, so you can have an outside source telling you that you don’t deserve to feel like shit. because you don’t.

thanks for getting through this post ☺

all bases of the art in this post come from this website of open source sketchy illustrations!!

i sincerely hope that this has been at all helpful. if you have anything to add onto this post i encourage you to do so! if you have any questions about anything in this post, feel free to hmu at my ask box !!!

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saltine-kakyoin · 4 years

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SARAH!!!!! i am extremely dying rn so i'm sorry i'm late w this!! but please do josuke and okuyasu for the character thing, if you want to

RUTH!!!! oh my WORD I have missed you SO MUCH!! I hope you’re doing a little better, and that your exams this week went well! there’s only one left, you’ve got this bro! ;w;/

(sidenote: ngl seeing this in my inbox after this hell of a week made my heart go)

thank you for sending this bruv!! let’s mfin discuss the BEST boys!

(under the cut, lmk if it’s broken mobile gang!!)

we’re gonna start with the bambino… okuyasu \uwu/

sexuality headcanon: So I’ve always considered oku bi, but i’ve seen a lot of really valid takes going around lately so! i’m really cool with anything for him ^w^ imo oku finds all types of people pretty, but at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter bc josuke is always prettier :V

otp: i actually think it’s illegal to say anything but the Josuyasu Duo

brotp: oh wORM…of course him and josuke are best friends, but also. him and koichi are SO good. it’s been months since i’ve seen diu so I don’t remember everything really clearly anymore, but one scene in particular than i’ll always adore w them is when they’re tryna make yukako think koichi sucks + oku just keeps firing off all this stuff while koichi’s like nOoOoO.. good times lmao. him + tonio are really good pals too, and while we don’t see as many scenes w him and jotaro in comparison to jotaro and josuke/koichi, I like their dynamic a lot too. Okuyasu is such an amicable dude yk? ;w;

notp: i have yet to encounter any oku ships beyond josuyasu and truly my brain is too exhausted to even consider anything else rn >u

first headcanon that pops into my head: this is like hands mfin DOWN my favorite question on this meme!! yet again, this headcanon ties in to the sda.. sorry if y’all are over that. ;w; anyhow, thanks to kak including paintings + descriptions of stand-created landmarks (read: those little commercial break cards) in his collection for the city’s anniversary, trattorio trussardi becomes insanely popular with tourists and whatnot after diu. Oku starts working there bc he loves Tonio a whole lot and wants to help out. this leads to him becoming a chef, and bro he’s really good at it! :3

one way in which I relate to this character: he really owns that he’s Stupide, but does his best anyhow. oku and i are bröthers in this regard.. (there are better + deeper things i could say but i am too exhausted to word it rn ;w;)

thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: THE BALL OF S K I N … i am still not over that.. also the fact that he like Took ownership of the milf hunter thing. like imo people exaggerate that whole thing with kak + holly but okuyasu deadass is like Bro… Ur Mom? Hot u w u

but also, he’s just a first year in hs so like let him live and be a lil stupid it’s all good yo!cinnamon roll or problematic fave? okuyasu is THE epitome of cinnamon roll… like. he and speedwagon are fuckin fighting it out for who gets the cinnamon throne

+ now onto the pomp stomp Boy

sexuality headcanon: also bi! (what if i just projected myself onto my faves? inch resting…)

otp: josuyasu duooo! funny story re: this.. I noticed a trend with myself after SDC, in that i always always shipped the jobros together. anyhow i started diu waiting for the jobro to show themselves, and I thought it was Just gonna be koichi. and i was like.. no. i cannot ship them they r BROTHERS, fuggedaboutit! and then oku became a buddy and the trend was like: thought you could escape me u dumb bitch? try again next time uwu

brotp: as you could probably glean from my last answer, koichi!!! god they are such wonderful pals. I also enjoy his and jotaro’s friendship so much (the fucking rat-hunting ep… ugh their minds or lack thereof..) i also like to imagine that he and yukako bond a lot over hair maintenance later on! :3

notp: there are some. Bad. ships in the jjba fandom but truly I have never been as revolted as when i stumbled across untagged ship art of him + jotaro in his tag…like TRULY i fucking gagged. that’s like hands-down one of the worst things i’ve seen in this fandom :(

first headcanon that pops into my head: he is joseph’s GRANDSON and araki just conveniently killed + buried joseph’s son in the recesses of his mind :3c

I jest! It’s actually a longstanding hc of mine that he has lisa lisa’s eyes!

one way in which I relate to this character: i too would go broke for expensive clothes…. we r also comrades in our disdain for joseph joestar c:

thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: that one time he chugged yuuya’s iv drip… still not over it lmao

cinnamon roll or problematic fave? everything josuke does is to a) honor his grandfather and b) protect his home! he’s such a good kid, and hands-down one of my favorite jojos. I wish we got ovas about what he + the duwang gang got up to after DIU.. :(

#best boys best boys #i don't think i'll ever get over how good diu was tbh #i miss the josuyasu duo So Much :(#ty again for the ask ruth!!! i've missed you so much! <3 #sriracha ask game #fullmetal-the-last-alchemist #long post

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krpk-remaking · 6 years

Text

on kurapikas view of himself and his relations with leorio and prince woble (again)

this is a continuation of/add on to this post i made! you dont have to read it to understand this but i would really appreciate it if you did! also, shoutout to mags @senritsus again for helping me with this, again! <3

im gonna be talking about kurapikas very negative of himself, the importance of leorio to his arc (again, i know) and ill go more in depth about the importance of prince woble, since i forgot some important parts in my original post!

1. Kurapikas Selfloathing

Kurapika seems to truly believe, that the people around him dont, or shouldnt care about him. Right now he sees his quest for revenge as his only reason to live, though that might be slowly changing (hopefully).

Here, he refers to his journy finally beginning, the journey he wanted to take way back when he first left, but his clan was murdered only six weeks after he left and after that his only reason for traveling was his quest for revenge.

It was the purpose he had give himself and now hes scared of where he should go, when that purpose is fulfilled.

He genuinely doesnt seem to be able to fathom, that anyone could truly care about him

Heres Mizai, directly telling him, that Leorio cares about him, “values him highly” to which Kurapika responds “I wonder about that. To be honest i really dont think my ability will be of much help within the dark continent.”

Kurapika measures his worth to others, especially Leorio here, through his ability to fight.

He wonders if Leorio values him. He doesnt know, hes unsure, after Leorio has tried to call him for over a year, Kurapika thinks that the only thing Leorio could possibly value about him, is his ability to fight.

He thinks thats the reason, that Leorio suggested him for a position in the Zodiacs.

Kurapika thinks his only reason to live his is revenge and as such sees no worth for himself as a person.

He really doesnt see himself as human anymore and just someone, who lives for a revenge, a beast in humans clothing.

The reasons he keeps pushing Leorio away and denying, that Leorio cares about him in any ways is that hes scared to get close to people since he doesnt want to suffer through the pain of losing someone again, hes scared to let people close because he seems himself as bad influence, and he believes he doesnt deserve any care Leorio shows him. Hes still not convinced that Leorio truly cares about him as a Person (see: “I wonder about that”), which brings me to:

2. Kurapikas Relationship With Leorio

Ive said it before and ill say it again. Leorio and Kurapika are absolutely crucial to the others development. I have made a post about this but it wasnt very thought out and really mostly just me, being very very mad at three am, so ill talk about it properly now.

2.1 Thematic Connection Through The Narrative

Back when Kurapika first left his village, he left to explore, to have fun (as instructed by Pairo), and to find a doctor. Leorio wants to be a doctor. Togashi easily couldve made Kurapika leave for just those reasons or for any other reasons. Leorio couldve wanted to be anything else but both of them want to find/want to be a doctor and i do believe that has a lot of significance.

I think this is the exact moment, Kurapika came to truly appreciate Leorio, after seeing how he is actually dedicated to helping others and after finding out that he wants to be a doctor. And, maybe not so coincidentally, Kurapika also seems to be at his best during the first arc, even laughing. The only other time he laughs is way after the hunter exam arc, when Gon and Killua have their food fight, but thats it.

Though, this has a lot to do with Kurapika being around Children, who seem to calm him down (possibly because they remind him of pairo) Ive actually kind of talked about that too! The thematic connection continues with the fact, that both had a friend die.

This adds on to the moment, where they actually truly became friends. Kurapika realizes that Leorio has experienced loss too and they connect through that fact on a personal and thematic level. Also, during this arc, when Killua and Gon are constantly paired up, so are Kurapika and Leorio but thats probably just so the four protagonists could all stay in their little group.

And of course, The Zodiac Connection. Their appearances are obviously similar:

And Pariston seems to have some features from Leorio too, same with Ging and Kurapika They seem to be foils of eachother in a way, more obviously with Ging and Leorio with the whole caring about Gon thing. Ging and Paristons Relationship mirrors the Relationship Leorio and Kurapika had at the very beginning, before the Hunter exam started, though theirs was more lighthearted because they were still teens while Ging and Pariston are fully grown adults. Pariston and Kurapika also both seem to have two sides to their personality, that they dont always show, Kurapikas being his happier side that was mostly showing during the hunter exam when he had a strong support system and Paristons being his sinister one thats very unlike the cheery public persona he puts on, mirroring Kurapika once again. Right now, in the manga, Ging and Pariston are working together, while Kurapika and Leorio are apart and Paristons and Gings teaming up also happend, while Kurapika went to join the Zodiacs, reuniting with Leorio. Since Ging and Pariston are so important to the others arc right now, I think Leorio will definitely come into play sometime this arc.

Also, a sidenote: This arc seems to be shaping up to be the chimera ant arc equivalent for Kurapika and hopefully Leorio too, since it comes almost directly after it, does not involve Killua and Gon at all (just like the chimera ant arc had no Leorio and Kurapika), involves the dark continent in a way (just like the chimera ant arc, since that is where they came from) and has Killua and Gon seperated, like Leorio and Kurapika where during the chimera ant arc.

Killua and Gon begun the chimera ant arc together and ended it with their Seperation. Leorio and Kurapika begun this arc seperately (with a short reunion) and maybe they will end it with being together, but this is mostly just me hoping.

(And this time its Mizai dealing with all of their teen angst.)

2.2 Personal Connection, Their Relationship

I really have seen barely any meta on their relationship which i think is a crime because its really so good and interesting, so, here i go!

Kurapikas and Leorios Friendship starts out very rocky, obviously. They butt heads when they first meet and have a lot of petty arguments well after that but as their bond strenghtens those lessen.

At the beginning of the hunter exam arc, they were pretty much at eachothers throats, then they learn about eachothers real motivations, spend more time together and begin to value eachother more.

here are some moments where leorio helps kurapika loosen up

and here are some where its obvious that kurapika does think highly of leorio and sees him as his equal.

Selflessness seems to be a trait Kurapika admires. When it first became obvious that Leorio actually wanted the money to help people, their relationship immediately improved.

As shown above, by the time they reach the island stage, Kurapika trusts Leorio enough to want to team up with him.

And the appreciation is definitely mutual. Leorio sees Kurapika as his friends and he values all of his friends highly. Also, Kurapika appears to help him be more rational > stopping him from attacking that old woman > trying to calm him during arguments

(Not when Illumi was threatening Gon and Killua though but thats very understandable.)

Then, during the yorknew arc, Leorio starts their tradition of calling and not picking up and later insists on helping him, and tries to calm him, multiple times, eventually succeeding (kind of).

Later, when Kurapika comes down with his fever, Leorio is right there, taking care of him. It shows how much he worries for and cares about Kurapika and how he really doesnt want to lose another friend.

Heres him telling Melody to take care of Kurapika, knowing that she will be at his side as a colleague.

Then, way way later when they finally reunite, after Leorios been trying to call for so long and Kurapikas been climbing the mafia ranks and pushing everyone away, they still care so much about eachother.

Kurapika feels better with Leorio around and hes thankful for him but still believes that he doesnt deserve any care. And its obvious to everyone, except Kurapika apparently, that Leorio cares, so much.

Leorio also feels better with Kurapika around, someone he knows and trusts. And they do know eachother well. Kurapika notes, that he isnt even “the shy or socially anxious type” , which either implies that this is a very stressful situation for Leorio, or, that Leorio is just using being “uncomfortable” as an excuse to see Kurapika. Though it really is more likely that its the first one, im just throwing this out here.

Then of course, theres this, which ill never shut up about:

Its Kurapikas Mentor, telling him, that hes gonna need allies he genuinely cares about to progress forward, to which Kurapika thinks that he was right since progressing forward like this wasnt that simple, but his solution to that seems to be wanting to get even stronger, he doesnt want to endanger anyone, he doesnt want to care about people, but its not that simple in reality, cue: pictures of Gon, Killua, Leorio and Prince Woble, the four people he canonically cares most about. Since this is the section about Leorio, ill go more in depth about his panel here and later, ill talk about Prince Woble.

Hes thinking about moments where they made him happy/made him care about them, Gon and Killua with their food fight in the park where they cheered him up and Leorio on the phone. Its him calling to check up on Kurapika. Kurapika really did appreciate it so much, even if he doesnt show it, even if he keeps pushing Leorio away. And he does care about them, even if he doesnt want to! The way Leorio expresses care for his friends, which is very vocal and direct, is so good for Kurapika because even if he still cant really believe or accept it, its still something he appreciates, somehow. I am not (!) saying that they will definitely end up with eachother but they are definitely incredibly important to the others character development and i dont think Togashi will forget about that. Now, for my last point.

3. Kurapikas Relations With Prince Woble

Prince Woble is so, so important to Kurapika, this isnt news and Kurapika holds an incredible amount of empathy for little kids, seen in his interactions with Gon and Killua too and now with Prince Woble.

He really is very dedicated to protecting Prince Woble in this arc, prepared to full on die for her. To directly quote my other meta post about this,

“Kurapikas arc appears to very much be about him finding the human connection, that he lost when his clan was killed, again, effectively making this found family story a Big Deal thematically. Him finding a new purpose in life through taking care of Woble would be, in my opinion, a thematically satisfying ending for Kurapikas arc, since its been said by many in-story characters that his search for revenge will only destroy him in the end”

Though, the important part, that i neglected in my first post since i cant read, is, that when Kurapika thinks about the people he cares about, he also thinks about her.

I really, really hope that this is some kind of foreshadowing of him actually taking care of Prince Woble in the future. It would be the perfect way for Kurapika to find new purpose in life and for him to become human again, in his eyes. Also, i am a little worried about the dark aura that Kurapika senses from her sometimes, but i really dont know what to make of that as of now.

Anyways, you did it! thank you so so much for reading i really appreciate it! If you have anymore thoughts please come send me an ask or something im always open for discussion! always!!

#LONG LONG POST #SORRY!#THIS TOOK ME A LOONG TIME #HXH #HUNTER X HUNTER #HXH SPOILERS #KURAPIKA #LEOPIKA #STRAWBERRYMETA

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jq37 · 6 years

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I'll be the one that bites the bullet. Fantasy High episode 11--thoughts?

**spoilers for cool kids, cold case**

Hoo boy.

That could be my entire write up honestly because, geez ya'll.

Let's break it down.

Sidenote, I just got mildly into Overwatch so every time I say that and I say it a fair amount, I hear Lucio in my head.

Anyway, like I said in an earlier post, I'm now pretty sure that the bloodrush fight didn't go the way Brennan expected. Like either he didn't expect them to win or that they would win but not kill Daybreak because there was so much exposition and change and repositioning in this episode. It was a lot like the first session with all the setup. It's like he needed to get them on a new trajectory so he took an episode to time jump and change the status quo before--BAM. But we're getting to that.

In another show or even another episode of this show, the opening convo with Ragh might have been the wildest part of the ep. There’s just so much to unpack there.

Fig making him kowtow to Gorgug and everyone being like dude, stop making it weird.

Before she did that, Emily paused and you could just see every other person looking like “What insane thing is gonna come out of her mouth now?”

Kristen getting the scoop on his super gay dreams.

Adaine trying to get him to got to therapy (and also to realize that he's gay).

The group whole ass making him cry for possibly the first time?

Fabian trying to shut everything down.

“You’re cumming from your eyes.”

Kristen, please stop. I’m begging you.

As I suspected, the group reached the point of yeah, we NEED to call Riz's mom this ep. Like, they *had* to call her. You can only realistically take shenanigans so far before it becomes straight unrealistic to not just call a responsible adult.

And, speaking of, yay! We got to see a little of everyone’s parents just like I wanted/predicted.

We actually got a lot of stuff from my wishlist. There’s so much time jumping and stuff in this episode I don’t even know where to start.

This is probably the wrong place to start but I remember wondering what their Christmas equivalent was because they can’t have Christmas because of the Christ thing so when they were like Solstice I was like, oh duh. It’s literally right there. How could I miss it.

OK I guess

Christmas Solstice party at Gorgug’s house! I knew his house would end up being the hang house.

Sklonda handled the situation pretty close to how I thought she would. I really think Brennan was forced into a, “This adult is too responsible to not wipe out my next ten plot points over the course of a week,” corner and that’s why he had to pivot. More on that later.

Fabian just refusing to eat any of the fast food she got them.

I totally forgot Adaine has diplomatic immunity. Which actually means she’s the ideal Bad Kid to do anything shady they need done, even though that’s not really her style.

Unlike, other people

We’re getting there

I’m glad Brennan drew the line at Kristen’s parents actively being in a cult. He was like, OK no. They’re willfully ignorant but they’re not PART OF THE CULT.

I also think it’s interesting that they didn’t actually kick her out? Like they sorta kinda did but not really because it seems like she’s couch surfing of her own volition a little and staying home sometimes too? I wonder how her brothers are doing.

Both of Fig’s dads just work at her school now. I wonder is they commiserate about her w/ Goldenhoard.

I can’t believe Brennan is letting her just ruin the life of this random, full-adult dwarf doctor. Like, imagine if any adult in her life found out about that.

Brennan says bud a lot. Almost as much as he says rad.

Gorgug choosing playing the drums as his proficiency, but not well. Just, like, a simple drum beat. Bro. Why.

Adaine’s makeover!

I knew we were gonna get to see that. Or at least I really hoped we would.

And it was in boutique setting similar to what I imagined. A little surprised that she went straight for the jeans and t-shirt thing but dope. I want fan-art.

Also, if I hadn’t already been convinced, that scene would have convinced me that Fabian got everyone the gifts (before it was confirmed later).

“You’d look nice as a sailor.” Is that like a pirate thing, bro?

Real talk, does Fabian for-real, for-real have a crush on Adaine low key?He’s complimented her looks more than once, which he hasn’t done with the other girls. They’re at a similar social class which might be a factor. And he clearly has a thing for blond elves.

WE’LL GET TO IT.

I am Concerned about Adaine’s jean jacket, regardless of how dope it is.

Someone needs to talk to Fig about the rat thing. Possibly also Emily.

42069 LANE (or whatever it was). I hate that I love Brennan for that.

“The worst thing about you is that you’re rich.”

But aww, Fabian. I’m glad it ended up being him (and shoutout to the anon who pointed that out to me). This is exactly the character growth I wanted from him.

When Gorthalax said that tryouts had already happened, I was legit upset for Fabian for a sec. Also, how did I know Gorgug was gonna somehow end up on the bloodrush team?

Guys I feel like there’s still a million more things to talk about.

Adaine finding out about Riz’s dad. God I hope there’s a heart to heart soon but she won’t just drop that info unless she has a really good reason.

GILEAR. I can’t believe that was him on a NAT 20. God, he has zero game. Also, imagine Fig and Riz as siblings. Lord.

The return of Tracker. I was concerned that she was in college but she’s like a Sophomore so Kristen is good to go as soon as she stops being a total disaster so actually that’s probably a moot point.

Sidenote, kinda surprised that she’s a cleric. I thought she was off religion totally but I guess she just switched. But I feel like it’s hard to be totally non-religious in a world where gods 100% for sure exist?

Adaine going, “Mrs. Gukgak. Actually Captain Gukgak,” to her racist-ass dad gave me life.

OK so re: the whole conversation about perditional contradoxy and treaties and war and such. How much of that was in the plan and how much of that was last minute retooling by Brennan? Because, I’m going to be honest. If it wasn’t for that comment by Siobhan, I would never have guessed that we were off the rails. But, with that in mind, this feels like the work of a GM who needs to keep the game going because things ended up moving too quickly.

It does answer the question of where the story is going now that the Harvestmen seem to be taken care of. I was a little surprised when Brennan was like, “Yeah Riz’s mom gets them all arrested,” because I’d assumed that the bad guy was going to be just the higher guy on the totem pole.

OK, I’m sure I’m missing some things because this was a JAM PACKED ep so, if I missed something you wanted my thoughts on, please tell me and I’ll be super happy to write more words but let’s get into that scene.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK OK OK

Before we start, I’m so pumped about all of this development but I hate how often I’m going to have to type the word Eolwyn because my fingers refuse to accept that that’s how that’s spelled.

ANYWAY

Dude, the pacing, switching between Adaine and home and the rest of the gang at the party. Like, I knew what the reveal had to be as soon as she walked in but I was still like, “Oh my God. Oh my GOD.”

Sidenote: It was very convenient for Brennan that Adaine never actually read those books because it was an easy and non-cheating way to dole out exposition now, later in the game.

What were the mechanics of Adaine not being invited to that party? Did Eolwyn specifically get her not invited? Did she actually get invited but couldn’t go because of the dinner at home? Did all her friends still decide to go, knowing she wasn’t invited? Was she OK with that? How exactly did that go down?

EOLWYN

BUSTING into that party

Magicking up a bunch of LOVE SLAVE PUPPETS

SNORTING magic coke

Playing Spin the Bottle DEATH ROULETTE

MAKING OUT WITH FABIAN

CUT TO: I’M GOING TO KILL MY SISTER

DAMN BRENNAN, I did NOT Expect you to go THAT hard.

AND THEN IT KEPT GOING

Assuming they all live, I can’t WAIT for the, “YOU KISSED MY SISTER????” conversation.

Which means they’ve either never met Eolwyn or only in passing and not enough to remember her.

Shoutout to Riz for being the only person to give Adaine a heads up.

Her eyes glow blue when she does certain types of magic so I’m just picturing her walking into that room, eyes blazing blue, ready to F up her sister (even BEFORE she finds out what’s going on).

I don’t remember if she called Eolwyn a c**t in this ep or the promo for next but I was like, “Oh damn.” Like you got her to escalate her cursing that much that quickly? Damn.

Also, I love that when she’s really upset, Adaine skips the magic and just starts hitting people.

OK, so remember in the first ep when Eolwyn tried to have Adaine steal that book? The book that I’m pretty sure is the one they mentioned as having wards on it to keep monster stuff from happening at school? So, here’s what I want to know. Has Eolwyn always been a part of this? Because, clearly, it looks like she is right now. But it’s possible the original intent was that she wanted to get Adaine to do it as a prank, not knowing it was important and then, Brennan checked his notes while salvaging the plot and decided to work it in.

Also, unlikely, but imagine if Eolwyn somehow induced Adaine’s panic attack during her entrance exam to Hudol specifically so she would fail, have to go to Augefort, and steal the book for her. Wouldn’t that be wild?

Idek what else to say about that last ten minutes or so that isn’t just incoherent, Ally-esque screeching.

I have to say, battle eps are never my faves but I’m looking forward to this one more than any other one so far.

Man, I can’t believe I thought Eolwyn asking for that textbook might turn into a sister bonding moment. Lol @ past me.

Anyway, kick her ass Adaine!

#fantasy high #asks #anon #idk which anon #y'all can always ask me more questions if you have them #on or off anon #anonymous

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arushistudies-blog · 6 years

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SAT study plan for anyone taking it this year

Okay listen up we’re gonna ACE the shit out of this SAT. I wanna help y’all achieve your goals and be the best student you can be. But this requires DISCIPLINE and MOTIVATION. If you’re like me and don’t get results without actually trying, this is for you. (Put under a keep reading because this long really long and kind of personal oops I promise there’s good information there)

Sidenote: I only used khanacademy for this and found that it worked wonderfully for my needs. If you have test prep books or other things of that sort, I can’t speak for them but use whatever you think will help you the best, I just trusted khanacademy because it was actually partnered with collegeboard and figured that their practice questions would align to what I would actually see on test day. It’s totally free, which is a bonus!

Alright so my first attempt at the SAT was a 1440: 730 reading, 710 math. Some of you are probably thinking that that’s a good score, and you’re right, it’s not bad. But personally, I wanted to do better, and I wasn’t seeing enough improvement fast enough. I took the December 2017 SAT and March was my last chance because I was unable to take any SAT later than that, so I needed to improve FAST. The problem was that I didn’t do anything over winter break, and once school began again in January, I had to worry about 6 APs again. Not to mention, I had an important competition coming up in February so I basically did no SAT prep until mid-February. I had exactly one month for my score to go up, and maintain my grades. So I quit my job for the time being, because mentally I couldn’t handle everything happening at once. That’s okay. Do what you need to do for your mental health. That is so so so important and I wish I had prioritised it more throughout my junior year. I started doing homework at lunch and trying to finish as fast as possible at home, so that I could maximise my allotted time for SAT prep. I would usually finish homework around 11 PM to midnight-ish.

I focused my prep more towards math, because that was what I struggled more with. So what I did was I forced myself to do 50 questions of math concepts that I struggled with the most. Sounds doable, right? The catch was, I had to get all 50 right. If I missed one, I would have to restart my 50 question count and I wouldn’t let myself go to sleep until I had done so.

I did prep for reading as well! I kind of followed the same thing as math, except I had to get 3 whole passages in a row right, otherwise I wasn’t allowed to sleep.

Every Friday and Saturday would be spent finishing my homework and getting as far ahead as possible for the next week. Every other Sunday, I would take a practice test, review, and every Sunday, I would spend the whole day dedicated to SAT prep. This got really unhealthy for me because obviously I wanted to get ahead, but the sheer amount of work I had from each class + the decreasing motivation I had as time went on and I got more and more burned out meant that I worked slower, and in order to get everything done, I would pull all nighters. Already, I was sleeping about 4-5 hours a day throughout the week, and while others were partying it up over the weekend, I was watching the sun rise and groaning because I still had work to do. If you feel like you’re overstressed, take a break. Do something you love. It doesn’t help anyone if you keep going but your heart isn’t in anything anymore, if you have no social life, if you can’t remember the last time you got a good night’s rest, if you can’t remember why you even want to go to a good college anymore. You come first. Always remember that.

That’s what I did to see my score go up. Obviously you don’t have to be as extreme as this, but if you’re in a time crunch and really need your score to go up, I found this method to be extremely effective. Not being able to sleep until I was done was a really good incentive for me, but even if you don’t incorporate that element into your practice, it’s still a good idea to do a lot of practice. You’ll find that you get better and faster as time goes on.

My final score was a 1550: 790 math (stupid circle question) and 760 reading. Obviously I should have done more reading practice than I did, but what’s done is done. A 1550+ was good enough for me and it’s certainly good enough for colleges, so I decided to focus my efforts elsewhere for the remainder of the year. Good luck to everyone this year! I know you’ll do great :) but no matter what your score is, remember that you are more than a test score, more than a GPA, more than what college you get into. Just try your best. Anyone freaking out about SAT, ACT, AP exams, whatever it may be, read this.

#sat tips #study motivation #studyblr #bullet journal #study tips #arushistudies #mine #college #university #test prep #college prep

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spiralledcupid · 6 years

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Spoon Views: MHA Season 3

Episode 4: My Hero

Here we are with the new episode!! Honestly, this has been the best ep thus far, it was so hype and the battles were amazing and honestly I really enjoyed it. So let’s get to it !!

Just a sidenote before I start- I have been drinking tonight, I’m not totally smashed but if there’s any spelling issues or stupid comments ummm that’s why lmao. Anyway, onwards !!

So first, I really liked this shot just for the threatening imagery

like tbh it just gives off such a scary aura like you KNOW nothing good is coming from here on out. It also kinda sets the darker tone for the rest of the series as its gone so far.

Also, we all know I’m salty about him anyway but I’m saying it: the contrast of mineta’s cowadance when faced with villains vs Midoriya who only thinks of others who are/could be in danger (Pixie-Bob, Kouta) shows just how little mineta deserves to be in the hero course and just furthers how much I hate him.

This was a nice little fun bit though.

I just love them so much, but at least they’re safe from what’s to come !! Still, poor kids. Also

This is the third version of Aizawa’s food comment I’ve seen. Don’t quote me on this but I think in the scans he said beets, in the official he said celery and how he’s saying salty liquorice ? Honestly, all three are good but for me my fave is celery just because I feel like he’d be the celery kinda guy, y’know? But whatever, that’s just something weird I picked out.

Speaking of salty, Monoma…hunny no, please chill. For real, he’s so dumb and I love him.

Moving on, Dabi looks…so damn good like no quirk puns but he looks hotttt my dude

Also, I just wanted to say I always imagined his scars as more purple, but the kinda reddish browny purple they’ve used in this shot really cements the whole ‘burns’ idea, like did someone say Todoroki I just thought it was a worthwhile note

On the theme of artistic choices though, was it just me or did Spinner look a little janky like

It might just be perspective issues but his face just looks weird to me idk. His sword tho? Hilarious, wonderful, why did the dumb incel lizard ever think that monstrosity was a good idea. Also, why does he have TEETH? That just jarred me for some reason I just think a lizard but with human teeth is weird idk guess I’m not a scalie or whatever but nah it weirded me out.

K, I really didn’t need to screenshot this but

Class B I love you, please be in it more !!

I love these two as well

They make such a good team and honestly if I didn’t think Kendou is a huge lesbian I would ship it but sadly I HC her as a gay so whatever. But I’m js it could work.

Back to the darker stuff, this shot took me ages to get but it’s worth it bc

It really just emphasises everything there is about Muscular that makes me hate him the way I do. He’s a terrible person, willing to kill a child for fun, and insists on tormenting him too. It really sickens me and I hate him. I hate him and I’m glad he’s fuckin gone.

Okay, apparently I thought this was worthwhile but all I have in my notes is ‘Damn that’s a good shot’ so

Damn that’s a good shot

And because we’re on the theme of things I decided I needed:

Midoriya is the hero we all need’ according to my notes. It’s the truth but I guess it’s y’alls choice if it’s worthwhile

Back to something with actual point:

I’ve never really cared much about Moonfish, he was just creepy n weird and @takeitjane jokes about finding him hot bc she’s a freak But honestly he was just a joke until

He was animated.

I thought this last episode but he’s so much scarier when he actually, y’kn ow, moves and shit he genuinely scares me and ew, God. Soil u r never allowed to joke about finding him hot ever again bc scawy

Then there’s this with like Bakugou’s pupils doing the wobbly thing they do when anime people cry:

So at first I thought Bakugou was so scared he started tearing up (honestly same) but then the subtitle came up and it’s very much like Bakugou is crying out of anger, because at this point he thinks one of his classmates has lost an arm. I mean, this is probably worth an in depth talk but I’m busy and have exams so I’m just gonna put it as a small comment her and maybe come back to it, but I feel like Bakugou is one of those people that can like insult his classmates as much as he wants but as soon as you go for them you’re dead, you feel? It very much feels like he wants to figth Moonfish purely on the basis that he harmed one of his classmates, and he’s absolutely furious he’s being told not to.

But that’s just my take on things.

Furthering the sadness, I’ve mentioned this in my last review but poor fuckin Ragdoll. I feel so sorry for her and the fact it’s gonna be repeatedly mentioned for the next few episodes pains me so much I’m just :’( poor her.

In contrast, this is something I’ve always wanted to talk about but never got round to, but watching these kids get hurt upsets me

Shots like this for example really hurt. I feel like if I were like 11-16 I’d be like “Cool!! Damn, I wish this was my life!!” but from an 18 year old perspective I’m like “Nol!! Kids shouldn’t be doing this!!” I just get very upset over kids having to hurt themselves when they should be like stressing over GCSEs and getting emo in art class, not breaking their bones over literal supervillains.

Again, just my take.

I lost the screenshot (somehow), but Kouta throwing that rock had me ready for tears I’m ngl, he was just ready to step up and turn Muscular’s attention to him and ?? what a brave kid tbh.

In my notes, I’ve written for this shot ‘Midoriya reflects me’ and I think what I was saying was Midoriya’s having the same reaction to Kouta being threatened as I have to him being threatened if that makes sense. His reaction was very much ‘I’m the hero, so I have to protect him because he is a child’, just as mine is ‘I’m an adult and I should be protecting these kids because they’re children’ I hope that makes sense.

Also, y’all know how earlier I said I was ready to cry at Kouta? Well this

This shit made me fuckin sob, oh my god. The fact Midoriya is about to die, and all he can think of is his mum? Heartbreaking. I cannot deal. And then the end of the ep, when all that intensity just went into the cheerful ending song? That juxtaposition made me cry even more, well played producers, well fuckin played.

So, all in all a great episode!! I hope this was coherent enough, because I really just wanted to spill over with enthusiasm and I’m so excited for next week. Give us Twice you cowards

Thanks for reading !!

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arokaladin · 6 years

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Hey there. I’m gonna tell the whole story of my shitty and much regretted qpr now, under the cut because I’m only really doing this to expunge it. You can read if you’re curious but it’s honestly not that dramatic. Please don’t reblog because this is all incredibly private. oh also its fucking long sorry for that.

k so, first things first, some context. My qpr was a girl I’d known since I was five. We’ll call her C. As very young children she’d sort of been the unofficial leader of our group of friends and was I think a lot more mature than the rest of us? And so our dynamic reflected that in that I was like, the cute one and she was the one I looked up to and respected a lot. We didn't speak much for a few months when we were eleven, because we’d started different schools (tho eventually she moved to mine) but apart from that we remained very very close and eventually she became the most important person in my life.

The summer holiday when we were 14 is I think when we became this important to each other. For some more context this was also when I’d just started questioning and was resonating a lot with asexuality and later aromanticism. When I first discovered the words ‘squish’ and ‘qpr’ it was her that I thought of. In November of that year I explained the latter term to her while we were cuddled up on a sofa at a sleepover. By this point our relationship was essentially already a qpr, and we were so close/affectionate that a lot of people assumed we were dating.

In early January of the next year (literally the third I remember this useless information because idk my brain wants to torture me I guess) I asked her to be my qp. Over text. Because I was too nervous to talk to her about it irl. That detail will be important later. Anyway I was very excited because I really believed at the time that qprs were the best thing for sliced bread for me personally. Looking back this was very obviously because I was mourning the loss of my romantic future and was relieved that I had a ‘replacement’ for romantic relationships on the form of qprs. I was working through a shit ton of internalised bull crap and had no idea.

If you're thinking that I just descried a situation that's not exactly ideal and that you know exactly where this is going, you’re right! However I was fourteen and a fucking idiot. A FUCKING IDIOT. Even just before initiating the relationship I realised my squish on her was a lot less strong than it had been last summer and I ignored that. because I was a fucking idiot.

Anyway when we’d been together about two weeks we kissed. Before that we’d been doing lil face kisses and were very affectionate, but this was the first time we’d kissed on the lips or like, ya know, full on snogged. I actually enjoyed this at first, I guess because ~novelty~ or ~milestones~ or whatever, and I still really like the idea of quick lip pecks and sof face kisses. Snogging was still less interesting to me than hugs though, something I communicated to C asap after we’d finished being sappy.

Now, a quick detour into unrelated stuff because I’m trying to do this somewhat chronologically: Valentines day is not something we discussed. She made me a card, complete with her own art, and I didn't get her anything. because like I said we had not discussed whether we were going to celebrate the holiday. At the time I was mainly thrilled with the card and embarrassed I hadn't thought to make one, but looking back? probably she should have asked before catapulting us into a very romantic coded activity that she had no idea whether I would enjoy or not. Maybe I’m reading into that too much but idk. idk.

Back to kissing. There were maybe two months during which I was perfectly happy kissing C, though I think we definitely thought about if differently. To me, kissing was a fun new activity to throw into the mix (like I said not as good as hugs) whereas for her I thiiink it was more of a step up. My reasoning for this is that every time I went to kiss her on the lips or even be affectionate with her in any way really, it turned into full on snogging.

Anyway remember how I had to ask this girl out by text? how I have the communication skills of a fucking gnat? yeah well I had no idea how to tell her to stop kissing me. I would just. Keep kissing her. Didn't know how to explain I was beginning to feel bored by all the snogging and more importantly if she started kissing me I p much just had to wait it out. This isn't an issue with her btw? I was kissing back and she had no reason to think I wasn’t happy (though she definitely could have checked in more? idk?) but basically I’m a fucking idiot.

Oh also at this point I was panicking because even within my Back Up Relationship(tm) I was not feeling what I’d hoped I would. So uh, a lot of the my initiating kisses was because I liked them more in theory than in practice. And also because I was essentially trying to force myself to feel something. If youre now thinking wow, that sounds fucking unhealthy, then you’re right! I’m an idiot! Who the fuck let me navigate a relationship! Anyway this is when shit starts properly getting bad lmao.

So my feelings about kissing quickly go from boredom to discomfort to repulsion. I’m still dealing with all the aforementioned issues. At this point at least subconsciously I am hoping C will break up with me. Tbh I was most likely hoping this at least subconsciously for the majority of my relationship! It’s probably late 2016 by this point. I’ve been fifteen since march. Anyway she finally notices something is off, but assumes its exam stress because I do shit with that. She and my other friends (read: just her but she roped other people in and they are visibly confused because for obvious reasons they don’t think I’ve been off recently) sit me down and tell me they’re here for me. I am uncomfortable.

Then! Finally! She sits me down to properly talk about our relationship. Unfortunately she doesn't break up with me. However she has recognised by this point that I have become more uncomfortable with affection. Probably because my method for not getting kissed is now just. Pointedly looking away when I can tell she’s trying to kiss me. I have very vivid memories of her nuzzling against me, face very close to mine, and staring intently at the movie we were watching and ignoring her and feeling sick. Anyway we agree no more kissing. In this conversation she also asks what I'd think of her having a romantic partner as well as me at some point, which is kind of a dick move if you think about it. I’m mainly happy that I don’t have to kiss her anymore.

(sidenote that I also? grew a lot as a person over the year or so we were together and she decidedly did not. Which isn't a bad thing per se, people mature at different times, but I think even had none of the qpr shit happened our intense friendship would have died down because? our dynamic just did not work anymore. She was no longer the Mature, Respected one.)

However things are not yet over!!!!! No, things are actually at their shittest!!!! Not long after this conversation I admit to myself that I want this relationship to be over. I am uh. unable to break up with her. BUT WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING!!!!! once again I’m a fucking idiot. Oh we’re also basically not talking by this point so my plan(?) is that maybe I’m being such a bad qp that C will break up with me. because I see that as my only way out. It’s horrible. I am filled with self hatred. I am basically having to blank someone I used to love for self preservation.

Oh, and another detail. By now I am made physically uncomfortable by her presence. My romance repulsion is set off in a bad way just by her being in the same room. I am physically incapable of looking at her. We walk to and from school together every. single. day. I remember far too clearly edging towards the side of the pavement just to try and get further away from her so I wouldn't be physically uncomfortable and C not getting the message at all and edging closer to me to close the gap and me ending up pressed into people’s front walls or teetering on the edge of the road, not talking to her, looking at the ground, and repeating things like ‘don’t talk to me’ in my head. Things were not good lads!

Finally, in what I guess was early February of 2017, she stops us and she asks ‘have I done something wrong?’. Not sure if I’ve ever felt worse tbh. She was obviously fucking miserable and wracked with guilt (like myself!) and uuuuuh I felt terrible but I managed to get out that I thought we shouldn't be together. And then we finished our journey home in awkward silence. A couple weeks(?) later I texted another friend of ours asking is they hated me because I was sure I'd done something terrible and that C was the victim here. Still working through that tbh but I’m doing better than I was.

Anyway I had to spend a lot of time with C for a while, but thankfully we go to different schools now and we only see each other occasionally because of mutual friends. The time gaps are I think what have allowed me to get a lot more comfortable with her presence. The last time I had to see her I was able to feel fairly comfortable being in the same room as her, and I thiiink I was able to look at her too and even address her directly! However I have no desire to be close to her again emotionally and would rather I never saw her again.

As for emotional affects, I’m still dealing with those over a year on. I am no longer able to want a qpr, which is very sad because technically that’s still the kind of relationship I want. I have cried a Lot due to becoming closer to a new (much better) person because brain says this means I will hate her if I get too close. I’ve also had a freak out over being offered another qpr, even though! I desperately wanted it! That’s kinda why it’s so upsetting tbh. I desperately want to label my relationships and I want security but in theory I know it would not be a good move for me. Oh also I’m weirdly scared to re-watch/read/whatever stuff that were Our Things. like stuff C introduced me to. The stuff I have gone back to hasn't upset me at all but idk dude.

Anyway there’s the story of how I fucked myself over by getting in a relationship that wasn’t good for me at fourteen and have probably ruined my chances at navigating intimacy as an aromantic person forever. ya know, no biggie. I’ll probably fuck off to bed soon.

Take from this what you will.

#im so fucking sorry this is unacceptably long #misc #mine #DONT! RB1 #cw for mentions of kissing and? dubious consent I guess?#idk I wld rather not classify it that way but I wanna be sure #hhhhhhhhhhh

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sanerontheinside · 7 years

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today was odd and I’m confused.

good grief how weird it must be to be the sort of person who gets offered a job right at the outset, 0 hours work experience, 0 classes in pedagogy, high level courses with good kids and all of that on a substitute license and a goddamn silver platter...

and still seriously consider not taking it lol

ok so. from the look of things. the teacher is on maternity leave and the current substitute has not met expectations. the school is eager to replace him (and as a sidenote, my mom works in the same county so she’s pretty sure they interviewed the guy, didn’t take him, and last they heard he’d got a position in the town hs I just interviewed at.)

the read of the situation is, they’re pretty desperate. the courses—trig, precalc, and calc. most likely 2 classes each.

for those reading this and unfamiliar with the current run of the mill: algebra 1 and geometry have end-of-course exams required for graduation. your students are freshman and sophomores who potentially don’t even want to look at math. heck, I’m not actually sure, but I think it’s possible that if a sub teaches half a course, or a full course, of one of these? the end-of-course scores don’t go into the school’s stats? unclear. definitely they don’t affect the teacher.

my initial read of my chances at getting work as a long-term sub: someone who can be employed for cheap but can teach a full math course, as per engineering degree.

the actual situation: school beset by angry parents seeking teacher who can do something, in courses that are not regulated in any way by end-of-course state exams. six classes. 11-12 grade most likely. I supply lesson plans (nrgh) and teach accordingly. in return I get paid for doing my best and I get teaching hours to count into experience, probably even into the Masters degree practical hours.

the interviewer barely asked me questions. it wasn’t an interview. it was a ‘hi, nice to meet you, you don’t look nuts, here’s an application for substitute license, please come back and we’ll transfer the courses to you ASAP’.

so, 3 preps (trig, precalc, and calc) is... much. for a first year teacher with no ready, accumulated, tried-and-true material to draw from. the case scenario here is I have to do the best I can in half a year, starting from wherever the previous sub left off (which looks anything but promising). mom offered to help, because she has all sorts of material, though no worked out programs for these particular courses.

most likely they’ll even pay well for it. this is unheard of. well they do say one man’s tragedy can be another’s happenstance, but holy shit.

also, I appreciate my friends’ support of course, but there’s no way I can accept that I got this on any of my own merit. I just dressed up nice and put on makeup and did my best to be accommodating. (if I deserve credit for bare minima of human interaction, I’m not sure how that makes me feel about the state of the current world, but thank you, that’s sort of heartening.)

the problem with this is my application to the education masters. I wanted to start in the spring, with an application to a graduate assistantship as well. that’s 20 hrs on campus, most likely as a math TA, and 3 or more classes. spring start is right after Martin Luther King Day.

so, with a full load at the school there’s obviously no way I can do both. how do I pick between the stipend or the job? *awkward chuckle* I don’t know. maybe if I do half a year of high school teaching like this, it’ll be a good way to answer ‘do I hate it? or am I ok with this for the rest of my life?’

also, mom keeps pushing the idea of working at the local coffee shop. I don’t like the reasons she gives, but it’s decent enough an option if I don’t get an assistantship immediately. I guess. It’s definitely a nice place.

the one thing I did learn from trying to do medicine: if you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you have to tell yourself this is your place and you have to stick with it because of the security it’ll give you—

—then don’t do it. don’t keep talking yourself into these things.

so, yeah, oddly enough if you take off the makeup at the end of interview day and look in the mirror, it doesn’t feel right. not really.

pretty sure I fucked up scheduling for the pharmacy test. also pretty sure I’m scared as hell of taking it because, well, I’ve failed so much already. because if the reasoning behind leaving med school and considering teaching was ‘lighter workload’, y’kno, pharmacy is most definitely not that.

and that’s the bloody problem, isn’t it. fear of failure. because I still don’t know what went wrong in med school, and who’s to say I was ever really interested in that stuff, and who’s to say I’ll want to learn about it rather than have a surface, writerly curiosity?

honestly, what good is a mind if you haven’t bloody got one.

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