#sometimes you see some of you inside others and then there's a conection

[spicylove4ever]

"Who's that"

"Oh, her? That's just Loona. What a nightmare. Serious attitude problems. She'll be out of our hair next month when she ages out."

"Good riddance if you ask me. She'll never amount to anything much."

#blitzo #loona hellhound #helluva boss #helluva boss edit #blitz and loona #adoption day #childhood trauma #dad issues #he did adopt her maybe thanks to this though #sometimes you see some of you inside others and then there's a conection #anger issues #poor loona #blitzo is a better father than he thinks #loona just won't say out loud #also probably she still thinks he would replace her

[leoascendente]

PAC/ What's blocking your path

Hi my lovelies 🥰! Today I bring to you a new Pac, it's about our life path and what's is the blockage that doen't let us reach our better self. These firsts months of the year have been very dense energetically, so I decided to look for the answers to keep going on and with the last weeks of the winter start to say goodbye to those aspects within us that needs to be released.

I have 4 options for you, all the piles were related to each other (really, I was amazed of how the cards were repeating in each group) so, choose the pile that calls your attention and choose more than one if you feel drawn to it.

The readings will have 2 major parts: First, your current energy and the blockages of your life and the second part will talk about your inner power and how you can develop it.

* Disclaimer!! Have in mind that this reading is about YOUR blockage and probably some things can be hard to read. This is about your shadow too and I'll talk about emotional abuse, depression, self esteem issues, toxic behaviors... So, if you are too sensitive, get offended easily or just feel not ready to read this don't do it. The most important thing for me is that you find the truth of your soul but sometimes to watch our darkest side can be too much when we are not ready to face this. I won't say anything looking for harming you, please keep that in mind and remember this is for the evolution of your soul🙏*

For this PAC I used Wisdom of the Oracle deck, Etteilla tarot deck, the oracle of Shadows and Lights and Shine from the inside oracle cards.

Take a deep breath and choose your pile, hope it resonates with you.

1. The Warrior:

-Your current energy: Welcome pile 1! If you felt drawn to this pile is not something random, you might be feeling like you're fighting against something you can't even see clearly. I feel like you're too attached to your comfort zone, you realize of your inner power but at the same time you can be a little scared of how can change your life if you completely embrace it. Are you dealing with self esteem problems right now? or are you scared of taking a leap of faith and make things go out of your control? You're too focused on your boundaries and limitations and forgetting about all the work you have made to be where you stand right now, you may not trust too much in your habilities but you're not seeing how much power you have within you. Don't feel like you're not enough to reach what you want for your life and don't be afraid to embrace your success, use your manifestation power to attract good things and release that negative mindset that keeps you focusing on all things that could go wrong and the fear of failure.

-Your blockages and how to overcome it: Are you dealing with heartbreak?? I have to say that there's a dense energy comming from expecting a feedback from someone (strong water sign). It's a king of cups reversed so what I feel it's more a romantic conection or someone you really love, you've been giving too much for this relationship and there's not a give back from that person to you. You gave too much for this to keep going but all your efforts have left you drained and exhausted, this person only gives in return small amounts of affection or attention, like they were making you a favor. I'm sorry to say this but you might be dealing with a narcissistic person that thinks they deserve to be idolatrated like a deity, and they are not (such and asshole, honestly). The healthiest thinig you can do for yourself right now is to take distance from this person and reunite with people that makes you feel happy, this person has took a lot of your energy and gave you back disappointment and some anxiety.

I feel like this person is someone who doesn't really want you but they don't want to see you with anybody else. They don't get happy about your victories, I see that they feel threatened about you shining for yourself without this person's help. Is someone who enjoys people being codependant of them and this is a big red flag. Their envy about your inner light (something their are completely disconnected of their own) has made your progresses took longer to come to your life. It's possible that this person doesn't even realize of this toxic behavior they have but it's not your responsability to make them see it, life is their teacher and their life is not happy or fulfilling. Your responsability is to take care of yourself, you are energetically drained, you might be having sleep problems, anxiety or or feeling tired even when you have rest.

The best thing you can do right now to overcome this blockage is to spend more time with people that makes you feel happy, go outdoors and breathe fresh air, do things for you, find the activities that motivate you and focus on them. Try to avoid isolation by taking a walk on nature with your best friend or your family, learn to cook or do whatever that lights up your heart, you need to recharge your batteries of good energies and for that you need a healthy enviroment. Take distance of this person and anyone that lows your vibe, you don't have to take them out of your life if you don't want to but keep a safety distance for you to keep your inner peace. I see people that really love you surrounding you, spend more time with them to raisr your vibe, someone will have a nice surprise for you.

-Your inner power: For this I asked 2 cards and flyed out of my hands the cards 34 and 43, maybe these numbers are important for you.

Your soul is wiser than you can imagine, learn to listen to your inner voice more often cause. Right now you are in an enlightment moment, embrace this process and do things to balance your inner world with the help of spirituality. Make of meditation a daily habit or get an oracle or tarot deck, use the spiritual tool that fits more to you and connect with this part of yourself. By doing this you'll find inner peace and a lot of wisdom, your intuition will strenght up and you'll start to see clearer the signals of your guides. One of the card that flew out talks about negative influences around you, I feel that is that King of cups I told you before, the cards want you to know that this person is someone who is energetically feeding of you, is very difficult for them to find their own truth or beliefs so they absorb what's more benefical for them from others. In the spiritual world we call them energetic vampires and having in mind the the spiritual elevation you'll be experimenting you need to protect you energy not just by taking distance but with protective symbols, crystals or herbs. Rosemary and rue works great for this, open all windows and doors of your home and burn incenses of this if you can't get the herbs, bless your space and visualize how any negativity walks out of your home. Do that with yourself by passing the smoke around your body to purify yourself.

- Messages to keep going:

Commit to self care rituals: From a salt bath to a daily skin care routine, anything that makes you feel like a goddess/god will be a healing activity for your self steem.

Keep your thought positive: Positive affirmations works great for this, on YouTube there are a lot of videos for meditating with affirmations or sleeping listening to them.

Get rid of your limitating labels: Don't tag yourself into anything, you are a soul experimenting a human life. Sometimes we need to tag ourselves into some stereotypes to get a better undersatnding of who we are but it's important to be aware that we are so much more than that.

Surround yourself of your soul tribe: Again the cards invite you to spend time with the people that make your heart melt with their love. Now you need people that really understand you, if you don't feel that anybody in your enviroment is this special go out an meet new people, for sure you'll find someone from your soul family.

-Channeled songs:

2. The Faery.

-Your current energy: Hi my sweet pile 2! I have so many things to tell you that I don't know where to start 😅

First of all your energy feels very stable, you are very focused in the people you love and their wellbeing. Perhaps you are the provider of your family or the pilar where everyone looks for support, even though it's a big responsability over your shoulders you do it happily but somehow you're being to rigid about this. You're giving too much of yourself to others, you do it for love but anyway this is exhausting even for the strongest person in the world, I see the image of Atlas carrying the weight of the world over his shoulders, maybe you feel like this. You want to do something for yourself, to start something new for you to open new doors for reaching your long term goals, you know this needs of your attention and energy but you are focusing all of them into other people and when you have the time for yourself you might just want to rest. You need to balance between your wellbeing and what you can give to people, it's beautiful to help the ones who need you but it's not healthy for you to exceed, be fair with what you give and recieve.

- Your blockage and how to overcome it: Well honey, suddently my throat felt like it was closing, I had to stood up and make a tea to see if the feeling leaves, then I saw your cards and suddently it made sense. Your biggest blockage is that you are avoiding making decitions by fulling your day by duties or many to-do things, you are trying to distract yourself of giving the step you know you need to take. Maybe you are too attached to your family or comfort zone and get out of it can be a little scary, I see you thinking and talking a lot about what you want to do but you stand in an stagnation state like if you were not really sure where to start or what's the first step you have to make. In some cases I feel that you already know what to do and where to start but there's some fear, maybe you deal with some control issues and the uncertain gives you anxiety. Also I can see someone who has suffered too much in their life, like a rollercoaster, maybe things weren't easy in your past and now the things are getting better and you want to keep enjoying of this a little bit more. Is what you have to do related to communication? Even if it is or it isn't there's something you need to say to free yourself, maybe it's to these people you're giving too much energy and you have to tell them that you need more time for you to start this new phase of your life. It's necessary for your present and future wellbeing to communicate what you feel to free yourself, you can't keep renouncing to your dreams for being in charge of other people or the fear of the unknown, for some of you I see these people might not be very happy about your decition and could oppose to them but you need this change for your life and you already know it. There won't be problems but the feeling can be uncomfortable, anyway remember that the people that really loves you will support you in anything you do to be happier. Even though this behavior from them can be a little annoying your roads will open up and the proccess of getting what you want will become a lot more easier.

- Your inner power: As I said before, there's someone who's taking too much from you and it's not giving the same to you (the energy is similar to pile 1, so go read it if you felt attracted too), this person doesn't even realize that they can be codependent or being too attached to you. The card that fell is the Death and the Maiden, in private readings I've seen it appear when there's an abusive relationship (It doesn't need to be physical, there are a lot of abusive behaviors apart of violence. An of course, if there's physical abuse go right now to look for help to get out of it). You might know this person is prone to negativity but you want to help them as well, sometimes they can be even manipulative to make you feel bad and end up doing what they want you to do. As a personal advice I would tell you to look information about gaslighting to see if your being victim of this, many people does it consciously but there are other people who doesn't know what their are doing and they are just repeating what somebody did with them. Anyway, the cards invite you to keep your faith high about your goals, you are a magical person that can turn everything into light. Soon a miracle will happen in your life that will help you take the leap of faith, meanwhile give yourself the needed space to reconnect with yourself and start to feel great in your own skin, maybe starting doing yoga or another excersice can help you with this. You have a magnetic aura, as I said at the start of the reading, people find in you a safe place so put some nice clothes on, make something pretty in your hair and go out to the world, enjoy of people admiring your sensuality and start feeling empowered again.

- Messages to keep going:

Turn lemons into lessons: Life isn't easy for anybody, sometimes it can give us a warming embrace and other times a punch in the throat. The important thing is to look forward the appearences of things and trying to get a better understanding of the situation and why it did happened, we need darkness to appreciate the light and in this wise universe there's nothing random.

Breathe in bliss, exhale bullshit: Try to focus in all the greatness within you and learn to watch the little everyday miracles, you need things that feed your soul and you are the only one who knows what really knows what makes you smile and it's your responsability to give yourself this peace of heart.

Commit to self care rituals: As in pile 1, you can take time to meditate or simply make an skin care routine, it's the moment to improve in your life whatever that makes you feel radiant like the sun.

- Channeled songs:

3. The Archer:

- Your current energy: Hi pile 3! I started writting your pile at 22:22, maybe that number is important to you. Right now you are being very sensitive to energies around you, this is the perfect moment to take your time to rest and meditate and keep away from any dramatic situation. You need to cleanse your enegies to keep them balanced, perhaps you are highly sensitive or an empath so it's important to take your time to cleanse your space and yourself of any energy that doesn't belong to you. You could clean up your home or the space you spend more time in, also phisically as energetically. For some of you the cards emphasize to clean up your space and get rid of the things that you don't want anymore with you, maybe clothes or objects in your place that you don't need and are just occupying space. Take advantage of the coming energy of Ostara and leave behind old things so you'll open the door to the new. Anyway, take your time to reflect about what you want to keep in your life, can be things, people, emotions, thoughts... get rid of whatever you don't like anymore. Try to burn palo santo (if you are able to get it) in your house and take salt baths to cleanse yourself (if you don't have a bath tub then rub the salt over your body like an exfoliant).

- Your blockage and how to overcome it: wow my sweet pile 3, I see you very un unmotivated about your life, you might feel trapped and hopeless. For sure you are highly sensitive and right now you are overwhelmed about what's happening in your life, I don't know if you are someone prone to try to make everything by yourself or if it's hard for you to ask help but right now you need it. The thing I love the most about this tarot is it's precition and the card I pulled for unblock you is the King of swords, in this deck is the representation of a professional in their area. If the problem that is causing you this low emotions is related to work, look for an adviser or consultant but if this problem is purely mental or emotional don't be afraid to look for a phsychologist or any therapy that can help you with this, choose what makes you feel more confortable. For some of you, maybe your economy is not in the perfect moment to pay a professional's services but don't loose the opportunity cause your health is the most important thing to keep and your health and your wellbeing is the best place to invest your money. Look for options that adjust to your budget and don't hesitate when you find it, you need to get out of that sadness and disillusion you're experiencing now and sometimes, someone who watch things from an outer perspective can show us things we couldn't see by ourselves.

Someone has an opportunity to give you, maybe a friend or family member that helps you with your economy, or someone who knows the proffesional you're needing and can give you their contact. Like I said before, you might be of those type of people that prefers to solve thir bussiness by themselves and avoid asking for help, resolutive people are great but sometime we need a friend hand to get out of the pit. Free yourself from this and accept the help, if you don't you'll loose a great and beneficial opportunity for yourself, don't let pride keep you in the stagnation state, you are stronger than that.

- Your inner power: Well, my love. You have so many strengths that I get overwhelmed trying to write them all, you are full of potential but I see that life has been cruel with you. Idk if your childhood was difficult and tou have your inner child hurted but I see that you have gone through too many battles and you might feel exhausted. Maybe trusting other people is hard for you because of the past betrayals of people you loved but those wounds you have in your heart are putting a wall between you and the world, and that's not fair your your soul, you have so much to offer... You are not allowing yourself to shine with all your brightness, I feel like you are the kind of person that can make everything more funny and interesting but you don't show this side of yourself easily. I also can see you have an strong intuition and you can see other people's intentions by far. Again I recommend you to look for someone who can help you improve this part of yourself and teach you to stablish healthy boundaries.

- Messages to keep going:

You are perfectly beautiful: This message is very clear. You have your own beauty and uniqueness, focus on the things of yourself you trully like, look for them in your heart and you'll find out all the treasures you weren't realizing that were there waiting to be polished.

Trust your intuition, she's always right: As I said before, you have an strong intuition and probably some hidden phsychic habilities. Intuition is connected not just to our third eye and crown chakra, it is related to heart too. Begin following what your heart have to say, this will make your mental Chucky to shut up and relax.

Turn criticism into kindness: Again, shut your mental Chucky and start to benevolent with yourself. Repeat positive affirmations out loud, feed your mind with positivity by watching nice movies or good music. I know this is easy to tell and things won't get better in a day but you'll start to lay the foundations to build your castle. Be patient and kind with yourself, you deserve to see and listen to all the greatness in you, so start doing it and fall in love with the beautiful soul you are.

Surround yourself with your soul tribe: Spend time with the people that helps you to see the nice things of life, you have people around you that loves you and want to see you being happy. There are also a lot of people out there in the world experiencing similar circumstances and are waiting to find real people like you, don't be afraid to open up to the world cause your soul tribe is out there looking and waiting for you.

- Channeled songs:

4. The Wolf:

- Your current energy: Welcome, pile 4! I see a lot of similarities with pile 1 and pile 3, if you felt drawn to any of thlse groups maybe there's a message for you there.

You are such a fighters, pile 4! You are completely focused in reaching your goals even if you don't have anybody's help, you are so resolutive people. You want your best future and you're working hard for getting it but you might feel a little lonely, you don't feel bad about it but you would thank to see someone to come and help you or at least if you don't want help, to make you disconnect from all the pressure of your hard working. I see that you are a very mental and intelectual person,(maybe you are air dominant) you spend a lot of time in your mind making a strategy to get closer to your dreams but also there's predisposition to overthink things. The problem of overthinking is the mental exhaustation that involves, meditation or anything that helps you to keep in the present moment is a great option for slowing down yojr thoughts.

- Your blockage and how to overcome it: Your principal blockage is a too rigid mindset, you are so focused into your goals that ypu are forgetting about enjoying life. Do you have control issues?? You might demand too much to yourself, you are more aligned with your mind than with your heart. I don't see dangerous people around you but there's something that needs to be told to someone and for that you need to open your heart and listen to what it tells you, this can feels like you are stepping out of your comfort zone but it's necessary to get your highest good. For some of you I see a female you need to talk with and confess something to her, more than confess I feel like claiming something tbh. You might be someone who doesn't care too much about what other people do meanwhile they don't get in your way, with this female I see it's more related to what you feel for eachother and how is your relationship going, it doesn't has to be a romantic interest, can be your best friend, your boss, your mum... You need to sit down with this woman and communicate with her from your heart. For doing this in a more clearer way would be great if you could meditate a little like I told you before, this will help you to clear up your mind, you could write a letter to this person as well where you can write everything you have in your mind (even if it is cruel, bad, negative... or something you would never say out loud), writting and reading it is helpful to watch things in a different perspective and to release any tensions you could be keeping, after that you can burn the letter in a white candle to be purified by fire. After that conversation you will feel a lot more lighter and free, like you've taken a weight off your shoulders. Also your connection with this woman will get in a higher level of commitment and understanding after this, but remember to go out of your confort zone and don't be afraid of things going out of your control.

- Your inner power: You are so wise pile 4! In spite of everything you know how to give a step back to see things from different points of view and keeping your own truth at the same time. You may not even realize of this but you are an spiritual channel, somehow you know what to say and when to say it and could look like you always have the perfect answer for anybody's doubts. You can be a little moody sometimes or even say things in a grumpy way but this is just because you don't understand how people doesn't understand things that are very clear for you. You know how to put into other people's shoes and understand other people's perpectives even if you don't share them but when it comes to you people don't get the real point of what you say or think, sometimes you can feel a litlle misunderstood even when you think you are being as clear as possible. However you have a great talent to see things objectively, you could look for information about spiritual channeling and starseeds, you might feel identified by this. Keep doing things like you do, soon you will recieve good news from the spiritual realms.

- Messages to keep going:

Look for the signs and synchronicities: Have you ever heard the word "serendipity", right now it's happening in your life. Casuality doesn't exist, everything has a reason behind, even when a butterfly goes by your side there's a hidden message. Look around you for those signals, you can google their spiritual meaning later, everything can have a message if you know how to decipher it. Repeated number, animals, shooting stars or even the words of an stranger can change your perspective of things, look for the magic and it will find you.

Remove the limitating labels you're wearing: You are more than your physical body, you are a soul living in a human body, your soul has a purpose and you're being called to find it. Don't tag yourself into anything cause you are much more than that and will just limitate all your power.

Allow unlimited abundance: Some says that abundance and prosperity is an state of mind and I agree with them, look around you to find miracles happening everywhere everytime. Make gratitude part of your daily habits, giving thanks out loud tells the world that somethingis already in your life so, practice this everyday to fast the process of making your dreams come true.

Journal it out, write what you feel: This message couln't be clearer, pile 4. You could start a journal and decorate it with some pretty stickers and use it like the place to be honest with yourself or vehnt after a hard day. A gratitude journal would be great too to keep focused in the great things that you know are about to come.

- Channeled songs:

#Spotify #witchblr #divination witch #tarot #leoascendente #tarotonline #pick a pile #pick a card #pac tarot #pac reading #tarotblr #spiritualgrowth #spiritualhealing #tarot spread #free tarot reading

[bbangrictea]

ateez as boyfriends

first ateez post here yay!!! i tried my best with this one, some of the things here are more likely to be my perception of them in a psicology level. anyways.... enjoy!

genre: fluff

warnings: some cursed words but nothing other than that

contains: 8 topics (one for each member)

                                   - click in “continue reading” for more -

HONGJOONG

he. is. the. most. caring. boyfriend. and you can’t take that from my mind

seriously this boy would risk it all to see happiness in your face

the type to secretly take you to his studio and show everything he is producing.

or even send it to you in your private chat

i don’t think he is really affectionate in public but when it’s just the two of you he will make you feel really loved

loves to spend time with you, doing anything

but the thing he would love the most is the moments you spend together customizing something - clothes, shoes, whatever you want

i feel like he would probably write a special song for you, or make a cover of some song you like - it’s his way to say “i love you lots, see?”

sometimes he can’t be with you but will make sure to be in some way, could be by texting you, facetiming, or letting you his hoodie so you can sleep feeling his scent.

would probably cry thinking about how much you mean to him

a simp for this matching couple things

protect him at all costs!!!

WOOYOUNG

no doubt he is the affectionate boyfriend

boy just can’t keep his hands off you for a sec

and you would love that

loves to cuddle with you and have dumb conversations in the middle of the night because he drank too much coffee 

would steal kisses from you from time to time, making you blush

and hug you tightly

would probably say to the others that you are his all the time

and let’s not forget about he getting on your nerves just because he loves to see you “a little mad”

he loves when you are about to kick his ass??? (as a joke of course)

would probably have a pic of you in his wallet of cellphone case

MINGI

he is the cutest boyfriend for sure

would say the sweetest things for you when you least expect 

makes you cry soft tears because of that

this boy just loves you so much

he is your personal supporter

he would let you stay with your head in his chest all day if this is what you need

(not so) secretly loves to cuddle you

and loves to make you laugh

he feels warm inside when he makes you crack with a stupid joke of his

i don’t know why but i think he likes to cuddle your hair too

SEONGHWA

photoshoot section with you because he just loves that

and loves to go out with you to buy fashion clothes 

and then would pull up a runway 

he is always so caring with you and kinda shy sometimes

and you think he is really cute when he is shy

always asking you if it is okay for you to do something, if you are comfortable and this kind of stuff

boy is so worried if you are okay all the time, you find that really cute of him

he just wants to enjoy the best of life with you

now listen: he would do his catboy agenda with you so expect a lot of that

he loves every physical touch he gets from you, it could be just you holding hands like always but he will find it perfect

sometimes he will also backhug you but it’s not always because it has to be a surprise thingy

SAN

our boy right here is just the softest out there i think

he loves to give and receive hugs and kisses for sure

i can picture him calling you to play with byeol, so cute

lots lots lots of cuddle

would take you for romantic dates

or else just stay in the comfort at home playing games

can’t be away from you for too long, trust that

i think of him doing karaoke with you also because you have too much fun doing that 

it’s like your thing

i guess he would believe you two were destined or something

but for sure there would be a strong conection between you

and everyone can see that

YUNHO

ok listen

he loves to see how his hand size is big compared to yours

would definitely say that you are his smol bean

or that you fit in his pocket

would get extra soft if he sees you talking about him to someone

but at the same time he has this soft side to you he has the teasing one too

would bother you with silly things like poking your arm until he could talk to you when you're mad

in general he is just like a little puppy

loves when you unexpectedly start kissing him and suddenly stops making he want more

and i already say that but he loves your size difference 

has the biggest smile on his face when sees you wearing his hoodies ou t-shirts

YEOSANG

not only your boyfriend but your best friend

would love to share some gossip with you

always come with some tea and have so much fun with your reactions to it

other than that, he is really kind and lovely, sometimes you can’t help but squish his cheeks

he likes when you are close to him

always ask for you to sit on his lap or bring a chair to stay next to him when he is busy

another one that loves to make you laugh

sometimes he say something acting all serious but it is really funny

his favorite part of the day is when he is in bed with you in his arms

probably he would tease you a lot but by the time you’re almost mad at him he would make up giving you a slow soft kiss and ask if there’s peace between you two now

JONGHO

comes with his gummy bear smile when wants you to cuddle him

buys flowers for you for sure

and makes everything that you want 

will sing your favorite songs to you

likes to pass his arm around you

loves to tease you 

but then he regrets it and fills you with kisses and you can’t help but laugh

i think he likes to hug you while sleeping

and when you wake up in the morning he is silently admiring you

overall the type of boyfriend that feels like home

he is so comfortable to be around

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez au #ateez imagines #ateez fanfiction #ateez as boyfriends #hongjoong #choi san #wooyoung #yeosang #yunho #jongho #seonghwa #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #kpop #kpop writing blog #kpop fanfiction #bbangrictea

[toxicruins101]

A night that's painted with stars.

C!Tommy x Magic!Brotherly!Male!Reader

PLATONIC

TW: None just fluff, one of the few since angst is my strong suit lol.

As Tommy tucked in Shroud he looked out the window and the moon's light shan upon Shrouds room and the boy himself.

Tommy sat up, closed the windows and closed the curtain, he sighed and walked out the room.

He did the same with all the windows and curtains before he went outside.

He reached out and felt a magic barrier, y/n had cast it, by tommy's request of course. Tommy said it was incase Dream came by he knew dream was unpredictable and phycotic so he took every safety messure he could get his hands on.

But sometimes he regretted it, he was really tired of having to say this weird enchanted word in 'old draconic' to open the gate as y/n called it.

Ah, y/n, that cheered up Tommy a little.

Not only was y/n a mage that focused on dragon magic and fire magic, he was kind and sarcastic the kind of person you just want to be around in a bad day.

Y/n was like a brother to Tommy, he had been there were no else was for him.

Tommy's thought's were cut off by a voice just aside the barrier.

"Troble sleeping? I assumed so the barrier's first days radiates strong heat waves, makes it hard for one to sleep" said y/n smiling at tommy.

"Yeah, I noticed that, it has been warmer since you put up the barrier." Said Tommy smiling and turning over to look at y/n.

"Good, your dirt shack is not one of the warmest places in the SMP, might I say." Said y/n smiling and looking back at tommy with a smirk.

"No need to remind me man, but how does the barrier do that anyways?" Said tommy standing a little closer and seeing this weird symbols show up.

"Well you see the simbols appearing when you got closer?" said y/n getting closer to the gate and putting his hand over it as the symbol appeared once again.

"Yeah, I do." Said tommy

"Well these symbols are called fire runes, each rune represents something, the ones around your house are dangerpfroof runes, they protect whatever and whoever inside it with primal energy coming directly from it's source." Said y/n casting a spell and summoning symbols of different runes.

"Each rune represents something, there are also runes that represent their primal source, runes go way back to when even the god's were first born." Said y/n showing different illusions and runes to demonstrate more easily what he was talking about.

"Wow..." said tommy looking around at the illusions, as he saw the illusions saw old mages finding the runes and helping city's and villages, war's fought with valor and won with even more, all this with the help of some little weird symbols.

"That's amazing, I wish I could do magic" Said Tommy as the illusions faded and y/n stepped inside the barrier, oh yeah, tommy forgot to mention y/n could enter whenever he wanted mainly cause he's one of the only people he trusts.

"Well to do magic you need to be conected to the source, take for example moon magic, to do moon magic you need to be conected to the primal source wich of course is the moon." Said y/n following tommy inside.

"Was I born connected to a primal source?" Said Tommy looking over at y/n

"Other than your mother, I would suppose yes." Said y/n looking at Tommy with a smile.

"What do you mean my mothe- wait, I'm connected to a primal source?" Said tommy quickly realizing what the man beside him said.

"Yes, you are connected to a primal source tommy." Said y/n smiling and taking a sit on tommys sofa and turning on the candle plus grabing a book.

"No way! Wich one?!." Said tommy with excitment and sitting beside y/n

"I figured this day would come." Said y/n closing the book and standing up taking tommy's hand as tommy sat up confused.

Y/n opened a portal and guided tommy through.

They both crossed the portal and now they were in y/n's living room.

"Tommy you are connected to sky source, where the wind goes it follows you." said y/n grabbing a necklace of sorts and putting it around tommy.

Suddenly tommy felt something in his back.

He looked and there were...wings? Giant beatiful red wings

"How in the hell?.." Said Tommy

"They have always been there tommy you just have never been able to see them or feel them, as you grew up so did they." said y/n smiling as he fixed the wings.

"How come I didn't know of this?" Said tommy looking at the (h/c).

"You never asked." said y/n shrugging and smiling.

Tommy looked at him and tried to fly or move the wings only to end up face first in the ground as y/n snickered and chuckled in the background.

"Oh tommy, you do not just fly and wow your done and ready, first you need to know, sky magic." said y/n lifting up the boy from the floor.

"Sky magic is amazing." said y/n guiding tommy around the room in a majestic way like they were dancing.

"When you use sky magic you are connecting to the sky's and air itself, with every breath you take magic course through you, you can control storms, lighting, tornados, as they all bend at your wil" said y/n still guiding tommy through the place till they abruptly stoped.

Runes glowed beneath them and the places they where, and instead of the orangey red he always saw, he saw a light blue shining.

"Sky magic blossoms with every step you take tommy, you just need to understand and let it flow through you, let it be another part of yourself, not something you should control or be afraid of rather something you love and let be a apart of yourself." Said y/n as he led tommy to a dim black place and started creating amazing real life things and people created out of fire all while he was speaking, there were dragons to warriors and familys.

Y/n stopped talking and looked at tommy a smile on his face.

"Can you teach me how to learn sky magic?" Said tommy excitedly as he looked at y/n with a smile on his face.

"Of course Tommy, after all, today,

Is a night that is painted with stars."

#fanfic #reader insert #writing #tommy x reader #tommyinnit x sibling reader #x male reader #tommyinnit x y/n #platonic #fluff

[leportraitducadavre]

On Itachi, his fandom, and moral standpoints

Once again I come back with a meta, unsurprisingly, of Naruto’s manga and, more specifically, about a character in particular, Uchiha Itachi, his fandom and what it entails and represents. My decision to make him the primary focus of this meta is just to bring light (open the door for more in depth debates) of a deeper, much more complicated problem that Itachi represents, but undoubtedly surpasses him and the Naruto manga as a whole.

Be warned, my take on Itachi’s fandom does not contemplate those fans who merely enjoy him but do not negate important parts of his character, if that’s your particular case, then be assured that I did not have you in my mind when writing this. This is about, let’s say, the hardcore fandom he possesses, that justifies (and to some extent, celebrates) his implications in the UCM and blindfold loyalty to Konoha and its system.

How can I even begin to introduce Itachi’s character? What he was supposed to be and what he surprisingly became? How to start to explain his fenomenon? Itachi was not supposed to be good, from his introduction he was a manipulative, dark character that tortured physically and mentally Sasuke and was a threat to Naruto’s (the protagonist) life. At no point during the first part of the manga were we able to see glimpses of a “good” Itachi that the narrative later on tried to establish, and yet, there were three (conected) factors of imperative importance to understand the raise of his character from the first part of the manga to the other. 

The first one was, let’s call it, his intrinsecal persona's appeal (and everything it encompases).

Itachi’s not the first cryptic male character that gets favored by a large part of the fandom for that mere trait (look at any shönen or show and see how many characters whose sole trait is to be mysterious becomes the fandom’s favorite), added to the fact that he’s powerful enough to subdue men who’s status of geniuses are often highlighted in the manga (Orochimaru and Kakashi), and his... physical charm, you have a powerful combo to make readers incline more and more on his favor. Itachi had sparked their interest. 

There are boxes to fill to attract the public interest to a character, and Itachi filled in all of them. 

The Power-Mystery-Beauty triangle is not an unknown formula (Christian Gray, Edward Cullen, to name characters from mainstream, from other manga there is Light, now surprisingly, Dabi) and in every fiction work it has appeared, it worked to lure the (female) public towards it.

But is that enough? For some, yes, for most, Itachi represents something that they desired profoundly, and that’s entirely attached to Sasuke’s character.

Even back in the first part of the manga, Sasuke’s character was received mixedly, there were people who saw his personality as too abrasive (similar to Itachi’s but because Sasuke was supposed to be with the nice guys, this aspect of him clashed rather harshly with his position on the narrative) and considered him a mere emo who believed himself to be better than Naruto and Sakura (he was, but he also acknowledged this fact, which make some readers disapprove of him even more). 

Itachi challenged that “so-called” superiority, additionally downgrading and humiliating him in a way readers felt he, to some extent, deserved. The dislike of part of the fandom of Sasuke’s character found a way of purchase inside the manga. Naruto wasn’t strong enough (and eventually cared too much) to subdue Sasuke, Sakura was too in awe with him to “stand up against him”, Kakashi saw his greatness and taught him powerful jutsus while paying zero attention to his other students. Until Itachi, no other character seemed to put Sasuke “in his place”, because even the villains of each arc seemed particularly obsessed with Sasuke and Sasuke only, elevating even more his importance and status and sidelining Naruto and (of course), Sakura, who were left with mere participations in what seemed a Sasuke-focused plot. Up at this point, Sasuke was far more important than the actual protagonist of the manga but Itachi, who was actually Sasuke’s goal, who was actually the person Sasuke aspired to surpass, abused him, manipulated him and -more importantly- seemed more focused on getting Naruto -hence, retribution: the only person Sasuke seemed to care about didn’t seem care about him at all.

Itachi’s coolness, strength and mature handsomeness (that Sasuke did not present until Shippuden, but Itachi was literally introduced with), plus the dislike of Sasuke’s character and the belief that he needed to be rectified, the reason of which will be brought up next, appealed the teenage fandom in a way strong enough to catapult him inside the popularity polls just right after his presentation. 

The Self-inserts inside Itachi’s fandom

As I introduced, a large part of the fandom back in the first part already, and in Shippuden particularly, had a deep dislike of Sasuke’s character and wanted him to suffer -to be beaten, to be “owned”, Itachi’s character fulfilled that wish, which takes me to the second factor. 

You can’t explain this point in particular without adding the “self-insert” and “reader-insert” notions that often gets attached to Itachi (Sakura, Naruto and Hinata) fans, 

“Self-insertion is a practice by authors of writing themselves into their own stories, either explicitly or in thinly-disguised form; in a fannish context this most often means fan writers writing themselves into their favorite source material so that they can interact with canon or its characters” (X)

Whilst

“Reader-Insert is a type of fanfiction, almost always written in 2nd person Point of View; the protagonist is always the reader, and is usually paired with one of the canon characters. "Reader-insert" typically has a hyphen hyphen, but is also known as Canon X Reader (sometimes CanonXReader).” (X)

In this particular case, many readers had succumbed to something slightly in between. The manga doesn’t belong to them, so the only one in position to literally self-insert is Kishimoto (canonically), so they are left with the option of attaching themselves personally to a pre-existed character with whom they feel somewhat represented. If not, then at least they attach emotionally to a character because it represents what they desire (this can be more observed in the shipping part of the fandom). Meaning, they use a canon established character that is not literally the reader, but who clearly represents them or represents what they want in their significant (romantical) other. 

Sakura was the only female lead who had a crush on the cool guy, readers (particular female ones) didn’t need much to feel a connection with her (during the first part, Kishimoto didn’t even give them much to do so, but they still attached to her with the prospect of what she might become), while Naruto was the dead last, it appealed to those who also felt that they weren’t popular or were mistreated by their peers.

But what the self-inserts of Sakura or even Naruto had to do with the increasing love for Itachi? 

To explain this in a way that can be understandable: Sakura fans who believed Sasuke disrespected her when not acknowledging her feelings or when downgrading her skills often turned their attention to the man of similar physique and strength to fulfill their fantasies of reciprocation -because canonically, Itachi had neither rejected, nor downgraded her character. In the same fashion, Naruto fans who believe Sasuke is egotistical by not caring for/acknowledging Naruto in the same manner he does (hence, not deserving him), tend to also indulge in the same type of behavior previously mentioned. 

Later on, when the narrative introduces the idea that Itachi stands alongside Konoha (Naruto and Sakura), thus, against Sasuke (from an idealistic standpoint), this particular practice deepens, grows. They feel validated on their idea that Itachi will treat  their favorite character (them) better, while at the same time punishing Sasuke for rejecting them.

There are not many cases of Itachi self-inserts, I’m not denying their existence however because he did fulfilled a wish many readers had (against Sasuke), but Itachi’s self-insert part of the fandom seems to be more in terms of female character fans that desire their favorite kunoichi to be loved/desired/respected? by a powerful, handsome, mysterious character. 

Sasuke’s importance in the narrative (and character growth)

Sasuke escaping Konoha to get to Orochimaru, train, and become strong enough to defeat Itachi and avenge his clan won’t hold up for the four hundred or so chapters Naruto Shippuden lasts. After Itachi’s defeat at his hands, Sasuke had no reason not to return to Konoha, more importantly, he had no reason to fight Naruto as it was the intention and ultimate and most important clash in the manga since the introduction of their rivalry. 

Sasuke’s growth as a character (that I spoke more detailed in this post) was tied to the introduction of a deeper, more important problem: Konoha’s involvement in the UCM. It wasn’t new in Naruto to present the dichotomy and harsh truths of the shinobi system (Hyuga clan, Haku, Jinchurikis), and the intervention of Konoha’s government in the massacre of the Uchiha clan provided the narrative with a reason to have both Sasuke and Naruto fighting in different sides of the battlefield, but also presented a deeper problem: Itachi couldn’t be bad.

He couldn’t stand in the “bad” side of the field because both, that would put Naruto (the hero) in the same morally bad position, and Itachi's fandom (which was massive), was eager for redemption, they demanded it, and Naruto is not a manga that doesn’t get influenced by what its purchasers want. In consequence, they needed to justify Itachi’s actions. We can talk about how abysmally bad they did it, we can talk about how much better this problem could have been sorted out, but that is not the core of this post. 

Kishimoto loved Sasuke, I have said this before, despite the fandom wishes, he stood his ground when it came to Sasuke and his revolutionary position until the very end. Maintaining that ideal as just, put Naruto (hence, Itachi) in the wrong. But because the narrative needed Naruto to be good and in the right, he ended up justifying genocide by justifying Itachi.

Consequently, and with the appeal he earned with his introduction and the Sasuke-hate (self-inserts), Itachi became a favorite character amongst favorite characters despite being a plot holes with legs. Readers eagerly consumed whatever panel proved that Itachi was not the bad guy he was previously believed to be. (proved or at least didn’t show, Itachi still commited genocide, but we don’t get to see such attrocities so its easier to forget he slaughtered innocent people, children amongst them). Readers who liked him were desperate for the narrative’s validation.

Core of the issue

Which brings me to the core of the post and in retrospection, I have already presented it: moral standpoints. This is not new, I’m not introducing any new idea, and this is hardly something that happens solely in the Naruto’s (and most specifically Itachi’s) fandom. Liking or not a character is tied to so many subjective variables that it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a character desirable or despicable despite solid traits being commonly shared on particular troups. And yet, liking or not a character became a moral standpoint for which people judged each other on a personal level. It has happened since always, but the internet did nothing but make more accessible and public this type of clashes. Therefore, Redemption Arcs became the most precious gem inside fictional works and Naruto fell for it, and fell hard. 

It’s almost mandatory to have the narrative’s validation in order to enjoy a character freely and Naruto provided it to Itachi’s fandom. His actions were justified by the manga and the most important (and beloved) characters stood by his side, even those who were victims of him forgave his actions because there was someone (with less appeal and more morally questionable actions under his belt) to blame further. Having the narrative’s moral validation is more important than actually being in the right. 

Itachi was manipulated by the Will of Fire who he learned from Hiruzen who was passed to him by Tobirama who created it because he was raised during the Warring States Period, so his apprehension to the Uchiha was justified. It’s a train of justifications that ultimately holds no one responsible for the genocide of an entire clan/race which then becomes something bound to happen. So to save face, they use an escape goat: Danzo and the Curse of Hatred. They put the blame of the massacre to a single character and the actual victims because, well, they were genetically prone to disaster and killing them was the only way to ensure (temporary) peace.

Liking a character doesn’t automatically mean condoning its actions but because that subjective appeal became more and more the reflection of the reader’s ideals (for some reason I’m not here to trace), those two actions merged, which translated consequently into demanding the narrative’s validation of our tastes. There’s no denial of the pleasing sensation that comes with having the plot’s endorsement for liking a complex/morally gray or even dark character, but that approval turned to be the most important/valuable requirement, which, in turn, made readers justificate (supported by the narrative) despicable actions, such as genocide. 

Let’s go back to the second bullet point, self- inserts, as to discern more in depth their reasons to look for a justification on Itachi’s character: Itachi (an Uchiha that was not affected by the Curse, as his peers were) who the narrative proclaims wanted his brother’s safety and happiness above all things, stands morally with Konoha (hence, the readers’ favorite character). Therefore, justifying his actions is justifying Sakura and Naruto’s actions against Sasuke (manipulation is alright because Itachi did it, trying to kill Sasuke because he didn’t want to bend to their will is alright because Itachi did it), it gives them reasons to believe that they are on the right side of the battlefield, it gives them moral superiority. They’re in the right, they are good people, Sasuke was too deep in his hatred to either see it or correspond their feelings and that’s why he needs to be saved, and who more appropriate to do so than the two characters that were mocked by him during the first part of the manga? Even in the end, Itachi still gives them the retribution they still feel deserve and that Sasuke -still- didn’t give. 

#naruto #naruto meta #anti itachi uchiha #anti itachi #anti sakura #anti sakura haruno #anti sakura fandom #anti naruto uzumaki #anti naruto #anti naruto fandom #anti itachi fandom #sasuke uchiha #sasuke #pro sasuke #anti konoha #anti shinobi system #this will probably be edited

[nctzanne]

Bisexual

[Smut, a tiny bit of fluff]

• Ten x Reader (fm)

requests closed ♡

-You are gay, aren’t you? I mean, by the way you look at Johnny, it’s pretty obvious- You speak nonchalant, fixing your eyes on the random yaoi movie you both are watching.

-I prefer calling myself bisexual- Ten answers with no amusement- I still don’t know how it’s to have sex with a girl-

-That’s why i thought you were gay- He laughs under his breath. You turn your sight to him, just to admire his delicate face traits. Indeed, Johnny was lucky.

Being friends with Ten was something... peculiar. He is a mystery, in every possible way. When you think you know him, suddenly he appears with a personality totally different from what he chose to show you. In those 5 years of knowing eachother, Ten always had something new to uncover about him, making you feel refreshed. There was no way you could be bored with him, everything felt new, funny, dangerous. He helped you to skip your first class, to get an A on maths, how to get drunk without puking, and how to freestyle dance. You just don’t imagine your life without him.

And now, that you both live together, everything got even better. Nights reading tarot cards, laughing at some Tik Toks, and even you both escaped to make a friendship tattoo: A little butterfly under your boob and under his chest. 

Some people would say that you both look like a couple, but there is no way Ten have ever felt that way with you. Oh, but if you talk about your personal feelings...

-Uhm, __, do i have something in my face or..?- Ten whispers so suddenly you snap out of your thoughts. One side of his face is iluminated by the different colors of the sunset that it’s occuring outside your balcony window. He looks so pretty like this, how can he even be real?

-Yeah, some uglyness over there- You try to play it cool, throwing a pillow towards him, positioning it on his lap so you can rest a bit over your heavy thoughts.

He doesn’t seem to complain, and starts playing with your hair. It feels so nice to be around him, he is your comfy zone, your safe space.

-I really want to know- he mumbles.

You freeze.

-Know? What do you wanna know?- For some reason, you don’t want to look at him.

-How it’s to have sex with a woman- he sounds so damn secure about himself, like those words didn’t afect you at all. But he’s wrong, your heart speeds up a little bit, trying to figure out where this conversation was heading to. No, there is no possible way that...

-I’ve been thinking about this a long time ago, you know- his voice goes deeper this time- I know so much about sex with men, but so little with girls. I really want to try how I develop during the act- What the fuck is he talking about?

-Ten, what the f...- he grabs you by your back so you sit up and face him. You are only centimeters away from your nose to rub his.

-I want to know... ___, please let me find out- he almost sound like begging. You hold your breath trying to conect the last neurons that are functioning so you convince yourself that you are not dreaming. You can’t help but look at his lips,just waiting for his sign...

There is no movement at all, not his, not yours. The only thing you can hear is your own heartbeat buzzing on your ears, his warm hands on the sides of your cheeks, his eyes piercing your thoughts.

-Just kiss me already- Your voice trembles, almost like if you are unsure. Actually, you are, there is no way this could end in a good way.

But all of that fades away when he connects his lips with yours. For a few seconds, it’s only that, just your lips touching. But it’s enough to make your mind go fuzzy, fireworks erupting on your lower belly, feeling like this moment should’ve happened so many years ago. When you interwined your fingers while walking on the park, or when he comforted you when you broke up with Kun. But no matter how awkward this moment was, it is everything you needed.

You don’t know how longer it takes for you to experimentally open your mouth a little bit, just to lick his lower lip, tasting the waters. He moves away quickly, leaving your mouth hanging open. You think you messed something up, but before you can apologize about taking things too fast he grabs you violently by the nape of your head, so he can start to kiss you messily.

Everything is tongue, saliva and teeth. There is no control, at all. His tongue works majestically inside your wet cavity, exploring every inch of it, like he was marking your mouth as his. You let him lead everything, you just melt under his ministrations, trying to fight his tongue only to earn a deep growl from his throat. 

He grabs your hips giving you a sign to sit on his lap and you do, gasping as soon as you feel his hard clothed member against you. He janks your hair just to have your neck fully display to him, so he can start marking you up. It first starts as tongue kisses, but slowly he sucks mercyless every inch of your neck and collarbones.

-Ten, i have dance classes tomorrow- you try to stay as rational as posible, running your fingers through his dark black locks- Dont mark me up-

He looks up to you, mouth full of saliva, eyes glistening -You are acting as if you aren't mine-

It felt like somebody totally different from Ten was talking to you now. When you said that he always had something new about himself to show, you weren't kidding. His voice was always sweet as a candy cane, but now you can swear he can cut a rock with a whisper. You shiver, not knowing what its going to happen at all.

-My dear pup- what... is that... a nickname? A pool starts to grow on your panties, and you are afraid you will wet his jeans as well- Do you think i don't know how i make you feel only by looking at you? By touching you?- he lays back on the sofa where you both at, just so he can admire your fucked up state, he is loving how wrecked you are by him- Why do you think i dont fuck any other girls, huh? Because I know how to drive you insane, i know how you masturbate with your filthy vibrator everynight you see me without a t-shirt, wishing that pleasure was given by me- your mouth opens in surprise, and you suddenly want to be swallowed by the couch and just disappear. It seems that he notices- The only girl i want to pleasure my whole life is you, because you are the only one who can make me feel this- he grabs your wrist so your hand touches his dick over his pants.

You are absolutely clueless of everything. So many things happening so fast. He heard you masturbating? He masturbates himself thinking about you? Is it now even the time to wonder about those things?

Almost on queue, he kisses your lips softly, caressing your hair -Let me make you feel good, pup. I want to try everything with you, only you-

A loud moan breaks the ice between you two. You look at eachother trying to figure out where the sound is coming, until you both face the TV. Right, the Yaoi movie. The scene is so fucking explicit you couldn't help by sigh, and that doesn't slip out of Ten.

-You like watching that, don't you?- he turns you around, so now that your back is pressed against his chest. He opens up your legs and in a blink of an eye has his hands roaming the waistband of your pajama pants. -You are so filthy, what if that was me and Johnny? Would you rather watch that?- you moan not only because of the scene you just imagine, but also that his fingers start to ghost against your wet folds- Or do you prefer me fucking you, making a mess out of you?- he teases you, rubbing gently but never putting enough pressure, he only rubs your pussy lips.

You open up your legs in desesperate attempt to make him touch you more, but he just takes his time. You are not watching the movie at all, your mind wandering about all the things you can try with him.

Finally, his index finger rubs your clit slowly in a up and down motion. You hate the fact that you are too vocal when it comes to sex, but it seems that for him it tastes like glory. Using two fingers now, he decides to rub your now hard and too sensitive nub in different ways, but when he starts to do it in circles is when you close your eyes and moan his name loudly.

-Okay, that's how you like it then- and you dont notice when he starts to pick up his pace. You are so close, so damn close due to all the dirty talking, but you don't want it to end.

-Ten please, i don't want to cum yet- you rest the back of your head on his shoulder, eyes rolling back. You can hear the sounds that come down from your wetness, and it seems that he tries in all best ways possible to make those sounds louder and louder.

-Who says you have permission to cum anyways, pup?- he whispers in your ear. His eyes are fixed in how his fingers are working on you, at the same time he is listening carefully how his name slips out of your tongue everytime he slows down. 

-Ten ‘m so close, please- You don’t know what are you begging for. Your legs tremble trying to hold your orgasm but you feel like you are going to explode.

-I love when you call me by my nickname, but sometimes i think you forget about my real name- He stops his actions, making you groan in disapproval, but he hush you while introducing his fingers on your mouth. You don’t want to admit it, but you truly love your own taste. 

You suck clean his fingers, swirling your tongue around them, while trying to look at him in the eyes, though it was kinda difficult due to the position he is. He bites his lips, humming in agreement, he likes what you are doing.

-I want to hear how you scream my name while i make you cum- He starts to rub your clit again, but 10x faster. He looks like an expert rubbing you, it feels so damn good, it’s impossible that he is a “girl virgin”.- Say it-

-Chittaphon...- You feel so embarrased, and don’t know why, but you choose to let go and get consumed by pleasure. You feel it, that tight knot begging for release, your hands holding on dear life by his arm muscles, hearing his grunts on your left ear, even the year of his piercings on your cheek makes you burn and get closer and closer.

-Chittaphon im cumming- you warn him with voice cracked, you can’t hold it any longer. 

-That’s it pup, let go, cum for me- He whispers and licks your earlobe. And that’s all that takes for you to disappear from earth, being sucked in by the orgasm that is washing you. You chant his name over and over again, your inner walls clenching around nothing, the climax seems to last for hours. You feel your clit throbbing, thighs full of your own liquids, and you black out.

-____, baby, it’s okay- He hears that you are whimpering, destroyed by pleasure.- Don’t move, let me clean you up- 

In a matter of minutes, you start to get conscious, eyelashes batting fast trying to recognize where you are. The aroma of Ten invades you and suddenly you feel calm, you are in his bed, covered, with a white t-shirt and nothing else below that. He is laying besides you, hugging you by your waist, caressing your skin with his thumb.

-Hey, you woke up. I was worried, i thought i knocked you out or something- He smiles, clearly proud of the mess he just made. You slap his shoulder, letting a little laugh slip out of your mouth.

-Sorry-

-About what?-

-I just passed out... i didn’t even suck you off- You legit feel embarassed.

-Ah, ____, i wanted it this way. It was perfect, trust me- He pecks your lips, worried that maybe you won’t believe him- This is what i asked for-

You feel your heart full. Of blood maybe, but it’s a metaphor to explain how complete this man makes you.

-So, are you bisexual or not- You try to change the subject, laying on your side so you can face him. You still don’t get used to the idea that probably, probably you both like eachother. He laughs outloud, with his perfect teeth on display, and then he bites his lip.

-Im ___sexual, for sure-

You don’t know what it’s going to happen before this. But that’s Ten’s essence, he is a complete mystery. And that’s why you are madly in love with him.

#nct #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct smut #wayv smut #nct imagines #wayv imagines #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #wayv scenarios #nct ten #wayv ten #chittaphon smut #ten smut #ten scenarios #ten imagines #chittaphon scenarios

[phoebosacerales]

What houses and planets represent / indicate addictions in a chart? (drugs, gambling or any other unhealthy addiction)

Hmm, TW, I guess. Easy answer is 12th house. But this could show through a lot of connections.

The 12th is called Malas Daimon, or Bad Spirit. It's the house of your undoing, you lose control of body and spirit, that's why it's associated with slavery as well. In some aspects it makes me think of the Devil card in tarot, if you're familiar with it's meanings.

The motion of the planets in the chart/sky go counterclockwise through the zodiac, but there's also the daily motion of the sky, which now we know it's about the Earth rotating on it's own axis, that makes the planets seem to move clockwise everyday.

Since the 1st is where everything rises, it's about spirit risen into matter, the ascendant is symbolic of body and spirit, that's why it represents the person in a birth chart. When the Sun rises, it's in a position of strength on the ascendant, but some hours later it will rise more and get to the 12th. The Sun is moving through the zodiac, but the daily motion of the sky goes a lot faster the other way, so it's carrying him to the 12th house. Symbolically this shows a loss of energy and power. It feels like losing control of mind and body. The ascendant was called the "helm", it's like the steering wheel of the chart. A planet in the 12th has just lost the handle.

This is a great video demonstrating exactly what I'm saying.

Think of how humans lose control of themselves and of their lives and you will see a lot of things that are not their fault: discrimination, marginalisation, poverty, opression, slavery etc. The 12th covers all of those topics. But some types of loss of control are at least a little bit our own fault, that's why we see the 12th as "self-undoing", "self sabotage". I know addiction is a sickness and a lot of the times caused by enormous stress, due to life conditions that are not our own fault. But I just mean it's not like slavery for example, it's not about something or someone else taking control of you. Anyway, the 12th is about all kinds of prisons.

The 12th is Saturn's joy and it gets some of it's meanings. Saturn is so vast and rich in it's significations, but most of the time we see in the 12th it's most malefic connotations.

Saturn and the 12th are commonly associated with Pan, the god of panic, who looks like a faun or a satyr. He's an outcast, god of the wild. He's the chills you get when you're alone in a dark place in the woods. But he's also a very uncontrollably dionysian character. He reminds me of the feeling of having an addiction.

Saturn is extremely cold and dry, it's nature is malefic because of how extreme it is. Cold and dry is the melancholic temperament. It brings things down to a cold earth, it's about extreme retention and gravity. It's about the body slowing down and being limited because of gravity and time, which ages and kills us. Whatever puts you down is Saturn, whatever brings you faster to death is Saturn. Sometimes Saturn is addiction because it's enslaving you more to the limits of your bodily existence and that gets you closer to your death. But planets can show different kinds of addiction or drugs.

The ruler of the 12th could show what type of addiction, I believe, but there could be a planet from inside the 12th representing that and all kinds of conections. A ruler of the 5th in the 12th for example or vice versa could read as an addiction to pleasure. And remmember, we all have a 12th house, we're all a little bit addicted to something, we all have a bad habit.

I think drugs in general are a Mars thing. Especially because Scorpio, who rules venoms, toxic substances etc is ruled by Mars. Mars is "the active principle".

Though Venus might rule dopamine, so, nicotine, weed, food, playing games, gambling, sex. And also, if you go by the chaldean order through the houses, relating Saturn to the 1st, Jupiter to the 2nd, Mars to the 3rd... then Venus is counted in the 12th. Some say that means she might have a relationship to it. I don't know if I believe that association though.

Et cetera...

One last thing is that the Lot of Daimon/Spirit and it's sign show what kind of illnesses you may have, according to Vettius Valens. This includes mental illness. Both mental and physical illnesses were believed to be caused by "evil daimons", (which is not at all like a christian demon) and Dorian Greenbaum talks about how that may be why Valens says the Lot of Daimon shows them, in her book "The Daimon in Hellenistic Astrology".

#astrology #traditional astrology #12th house #saturn #addiction #dorian greenbaum #Vettius Valens #daimon #hellenistic astrology #answered

[fairymadnessyeah]

BNHA Ship to Finish the Year

ShishiKoda (Shishida Jurota x Koda Koji)

Canon

Before anything, two important things.

Koda is non-binary, pronouns they/them. Also, Koda is selectively deaf.

They only talk with the people who are close to them, with animals, or if they absolutely need to.

I believe that there are a lot of types of heroes, there are daytime heroes, underground heroes, infiltration heroes, etc.

And one of those types, that is rather new, is the eco-hero. They are heroes who, apart from fighting against crime, they also fight for the planet and the animals.

Both Shishida and Koda are Eco-heroes.

I feel like they would start working on the same agency at first, being desk mates.

Koda is selectively deaf, so they communicate with sign language. But not everybody knows, so Shishida translates and gives out the number of a good ASL teacher.

It makes them grow closer, and that is how they start branching out towards the Eco-heroics.

They find an agency that works kind of like Greenpeace having mission out in the world to help with the environment.

They first start local, their first missions aren't even together. Koda is sent to a zoo protest, and Shishida to a stop a deforestation.

They do have to re-study some laws for this job though. UA might be a great school, but they can't teach you everything.

They study together, with Shishida making the coffee and Koda bringing some of the cakes their roommate Satou bakes.

Satou, who is very protective of his roommate and friend Koda, notices that something is going on. But when he asks about it, Koda shrugs it off with pink cheeks.

Shishida doesn't have any roommates, but he still hangs out with his friends from class B. I imagine one day, they drop by uninvited and interrupt one of their study hang out. 

Koda understands and leaves, but the class B boys can feel the sparks in the air.

They tease him non-stop about it, while Shishida tries to deny it.

"Somebody got a crush~," "No, I don't,"

"I bet you want to take them out to that new restaurant you were talking about," "As friends,"

"You should ask them out! They looked ready to pick up what you were giving," "I won't,"

"You are afraid they'll say no and then don't talk to you again, aren't you?" "Terrified,"

Shishida would ask Koda out, but they are so shy that he is afraid that if he does, the relationship they have been building up will crumble.

But that's okay, Shishida can wait.

They keep working and hanging out together, and then one day, they are put on a mission together. This mission takes place in the Amazon, on Brazil.

The two need to travel, and while they are there, Shishida asks Koda out.

They say yes, and when they go back to Japan, they make it official and become the significant other of one another.

I like thinking that Satou starts acting like a protective big brother to Koda and glares at Shishida when he comes to pick him up for dates.

Family

Koda is the only child of a single mother. She doesn't have a name yet, but I think she is a like a 50's mom.

She bakes cookies, she dances to the music of the radio, and leaves lipstick marks on your cheeks when she kisses you.

I also love the idea that no matter who you are, no matter what you are doing, you are going to get greeted with a bear hug by Koda's mom. 

Shishida was not ready. I also like the idea that Shishida has a bun on for the first meeting. He would look so dapper in one.

I also think he would use his strength as a good selling point. Oh, Miss Koda's earing fell under the dishwasher? No worries, Shishida will lift it with his bare hands and place it back where it was once she got it.

I have no ideas as to who Shishida's parents could be, but one thing is for sure, Koda wants to crawl under their bed and stay there until the night passes.

They are a mess and get anxious thinking about it. On the drive there, Koda's mind conjures situation after situation, and how bad and disastrously are all going to end up.

Of course, nothing like that happens.

Shishida's parents are nice and know sign language, so they can communicate no problem.

I don't think they would have kids, but I kind of seeing them moving from the big city and settling in a small village with a giant lot where they rescue animals.

They are some of the only heroes around the small town, along with a few others, and nothing much happens. 

But considering the hectic years they spent as heroes and as students, a nice, quiet town seems like a good option.

When Koda moved out of the apartment, Satou cries and hugs him, while saying that he'll miss them. It's a sad day, but they keep in contact.

Also, their house is so big that both classes come for reunions, and they are even able to bring their kids. 

They have a rehabilitation program, but some of the animals they rescued aren't able to go back to the wild, so they have a few rescued pets.

They have a fox, who ended up blind after getting caught in a trap. His name is Red, and it likes to scare their mailman by screaming at him. Have you ever heard a fox? It's crazy AF!

They also have an owl inside the house. It was hit by a moving car, and it damaged its wing, making it unable to fly. Its name is Big eyes, and sometimes it chills with Shishida in the library.

They also have a wild horse on the back. They called it Hone, in dedication to Honenuki because when the Hone smiles, which it does a lot, its smile looks like their ex-classmate.

Hone was rescued from a circus, and is now living a retirement on their home.

AU - Tarzan AU

So, you might read Tarzan AU, and think:

"Well, Shishida could make a good Tarzan. He is wild, hairy, curious, and kind of look likes bigfoot when he uses his quirk. It makes sense that he would be Tarzan,"

But you are wrong. This is a different Tarzan AU.

For once, it happens in the woods instead of the jungle. So our Tarzan is closer to civilization than the classic.

Koda was just a small three-year-old when, on a camping trip, their parents died. They were crossing a stream when the bridge broke, and they feel into the river. Their parents drown and died of hypothermia, but Koda somehow survived.

They were taken care of by the animals. Because, yes, they speak in this AU, but only Koda can understand them.

Koda lives like a cryptid, and becomes an urban legend of the woods. They are known as the creature-man. Many go into the woods to get a peak or a capture them on a picture.

The people know them to be a generous being. If you get lost in the woods, they will guide you back home. If you get hurt, you may find yourself healed by the next morning.

Shishida is new in town, recently graduated from college and has a psychology degree.

He doesn't believe in the existence of creature-man, and thinks it's just a tourist attraction. 

The rest of the town tries to convince him, but he is a stubborn one.

But one day, a couple of his friends invite him on a hike on the woods. They are hoping that with this trip, he might start believing in Creature-man.

The storm catches them by surprise. It comes out of nowhere, and it makes Shishida slip and roll down a hill. He hits his head on and blacks out, but when he wakes up, he is not alone.

Koda found him and started taking care of him. Shishida had a concussion and a broken arm, so Koda couldn't take him back out of the forest.

Shishida, now an absolute believer of Creature-man, takes them to his home, to re-introduce them to society.

He starts by cleaning them and dressing them, but it's not as easy as he believed it would be. Koda is afraid of everything, and knows nothing of the world.

Shishida doesn't tell the rest of the town about having their cryptid creature on his home. He knows that they will freak out and want to see him, and that could overwhelm Koda.

But one day, Koda freaks out, and runs back to the forest. The whole town finds out, and questions Shishida.

He explains that Koda, is not a creature, but a person who grew up in the woods and was not introduced into society.

The people decide to leave Koda alone, but Shishida feels a deep conection with them. He feels responsable for them, and doesn't want to see them hurt.

He visits them daily, and starts writing a psychology book on them.

Fanon Opinion

I can't see Koda having sex.

I just can't. Maybe it's their shy demeanour, their muteness or the way they look, but I can't see it.

I think I might headcanon them as asexual to much for me to picture him in sexual acts.

I think this is a cute couple, but it's very cracky.

There is no content for them. No pictures, nothing written, there isn't even a ship name.

I think that whoever requested these two, took somebody from class A and then somebody from class B that is not that known, and paired them together.

They have only one interaction, when they faced against each other on the A vs B battle. 

But, weirdly enough, they make sense together.

They are the personification of looks like they could kill you, but it's a cinnamon roll x looks like a cinnamon roll, and it's a cinnamon roll.

If there ever is a veterinarian x librarian AU, they would be perfect for it.

Like, Koda is super sweet and shy, and Shishida is a gentleman, who dresses in suits.

 I think they also make sense to me due to their quirks. 

Shishida looks like an animal when he is all big and hairy, and Koda can talk to animals.

It's a weird ship, however.

But it definitely deserves more love.

It's also not that impossible to happen. They are the same age, they go to the same school, they are in the same career, same side.

I know this is short, but there is nothing to go on with this couple.

It's a background character with an even less important character.

#bnha #mha #shishikoda #jurota shishida #Koji Koda #bnha headcanons #bnha ships to finish the year #canon #family #tarzan au #fanon opinion

[jawlinedolan]

Sugar Cane Nymph (G.D.)

Sugar cane nymph (G.D.)

disclaimer-> i’m colombian so english is obviously NOT my first language. i’m fluent and generally have non-terrible grammar but I usually just  write academic stuff in english. i have only ever written fiction in my mother language before this so please bare with me while i get used to this.

this took a while to write omg it wasn’t supposed to be this long, anyways enjoy and PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE let me know what you guys think about it?💓💓🎊🎊

TELL ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE A PART TWO

summary: Grayson meets his mom’s new neighbor after an unexpected for legged visitor ivades Lisa’s Garden.

word count: +5k

warnings: some minor swearing, a whole buch of flustered grayson and hopefully a bit of humor? also i did not proof-read this sorry

Poor Grayson. For the millionth time that night something was disturbing his peaceful sleep. First the frogs and now his mom chooses this moment to do laundry.He thought half asleep. His hazy mind couldn’t for the life of him imagine any other reason for the incessant rumbling that was currently penetrating the walls of his tiny bedroom. He was mad. All of that crunching and crashing outside had taking him out of his amazing dream.

Oh, and was it an amazing one. So beautiful, just like her. He didn’t even know her name yet her image had managed to plague his every waking moment and now it seemed his slumber too. Not that he minded though, his dream had brought them closer.

He needed his sleep because he needed to wake up early, otherwise he would miss it, miss her. He had discovered her on his first morning run ever since coming back home. He always thought that Jersey had the prettiest countryside in all of North America and now he was sure of it. How could it not be with such a gorgeous nymph galoping around bareback on top her trusty steed. She was out there every morning at exactly 5:50 a.m.

Dammit. When had he became such a sap? Grayson knew he was attractive and he definitely knew how to use it. He had never encountered trouble wooing the ladies before. But this one, oh this one was different. There was something about her, he didn’t even knew her name but he just felt a certain way when he was around her. Well, more like spying behind a particularly dense bush that surrounded the little clearing where she ended her ride every morning. And that he had found on pure coincidence . If you could count trying to conspicuously keep up with a galloping horse for a quarter of mile as coincidence, that is. In his defense he just couldn’t let her get away, it was like she was pulling him without even knowing.

Each morning she would ride up there and he would be waiting behind the bush to watch the show. He could hear it’s powerful hoves before he could devise the big black stallion. Even her horse was different. It had a beautiful shinny black coat that the women at his mom’s beauty salon would envy. It’s mane and tale cascaded down his body in actual curls. Just like hers. He had never seen a horse that didn’t have straight hair.

It was sort of funny, one of the first things he noticed about the mysterious girl was her long and lucious curly hair. And she looked so in sync with the beast. With the dark curls and big brown eyes they almost looked like family.

She was short thing, as he noticed when he saw her stading next to the horse for the first time. He reckoned she would reach to his chest or his shoulders, at best. Her thick thighs hugged the animal’s torso right before she jumped off its back, squatting on her landing which made her delectable ass stretch her jeans. It all looked pretty profesional and innocent, still, he couldn’t help but imagine those beautiful legs wrapping around his waist while his big hads supported that delicious bottom.

Was he seriously getting exited at a half asleep memory or was it just morning wood?

He ignored that thought and kept his eyes closed, continuing with his hazy recollection.

Their conection was amazing, it was just her and her beast. She didn’t use a saddle or tack. She simply spoke to it, like one would another human being, and then she would scratch it’s neck. After that the thousand poud animal did everything she asked. It reared and bowed at her comand and, sometimes, she would let her hair down and they would spin and jump around almost like they were dancing.

No matter how many times he hid behind that bush to watch them, Grayson was in awe at every single thing she did. To him, she was completely mesmerizing.

So mesmerizing, in fact, that he could never bring himself to step out from behind his reliable bush to say hi. She seemed nice enough, surely she wouldn’t think he was some sort of creepy stalker, right? Except, at this point, he kind of was. But his little nymph didn’t need to know that.

Giving up on sleep he decided that if his mom felt the need to do the laundry two days in a row he better find a way of his own of being productive. But upon opening his eyes he was surprised to be greeted by darkness and those stupid frogs chirping outside. He tapped around until his long fingers got a grasp on his cellphone and squinted when the damned thing nearly blinded him with it’s brightness.

Then suddenly the laundry room was shaking again.

“The fuck” he groaned sleepily.

When his eyes finally adjusted to the light emanating from the screen of his Iphone he let out another groan, silently cursing the digital clock that read 4:25 a.m.. His alarm would be ringing in less than an hour for his morning run and he was super tired because some frogs had decided to serenade him until one in the morning. How come they aren’t sleeping yet?

Then there was that rumbling again. But when he realized that his mechanical roommate would be empty of dirty clothes at such unholy hour he began to worry. It’s not like the house was near the street, whatever or whoever was causing all that ruckus had to be in the property. He crept out of his room barefoot trying to be conspicuous and stealthy, even though the cold floor was torturing his toes.

He reached the front door after a quick stop at the kitchen to grab his mother’s big trusty iron frying pan in case he needed to attack. He made a mentan note to not leave everything that could be a potential weapon inside his building shed next time.

After taking a fortifying breath he grabbed the doorknob and turned it as delicately and silently as man his size could manage.

At first glance nothing on the porch seemed out of the ordinary, but when he turned the lights on he noticed it. An overturned plantpot which used to contain an colorful flower that, according to his mom, was an exotic plant that her friend had brought her from her vacation in the caribbean. His mom couldn’t stop talking about her colorful little flower when they showed her her new garden and how she was going to give it a special place in it. And now some rascal had savagely munched on it leaving only the dying stems amongst the dirt.

Suddenly the early morning was eerily silent again. Grayson tried to slow his breathing while straining to hear anything tha would give away the position of the invader. His heart was just about to beat out of his chest, the house was in the middle of nowhere, anything could be out there.

When he finally heard something he couldn’t believe his ears. High pitched and clearly irritated he barely recognized it.

Was that a neigh?

He followed the sound and finally got his answer upon glancing at Lisa’s Garden. The animal that appeared tu be stuck near one of the flower beds looked like a horse, kind of. It had a mane, a tail, four hooves, pointy ears and it was distinctly neighing, everythig pointed that it was a horse. Except for the fact that it couldn’t be any taller than three feet. It seemed he was in presence of a miniature horse.

Quickly running to his building shed he grabbed his diagonal pliers to cut the wire that had most likely trapped his hoof. But when he came back to help the little guy found him with his head deep into the nearest flower pot casually having a 5 a.m. flowery snack.

“Hey! Stop that!” he yelled trying to separate the little beast from it’s colorful victim. “YOU LITTLE FUCKER” Grayson yelled when the animal actually bit him for trying to take away his meal. Weren’t horses suposed to be vegetarian? Well if it liked flowers so much who’s to say it didn’t have other bizarre tastes... like fucking human flesh.

Waking up from all the noise Lisa walked outside to see her 6ft tall 200lb son wrestling a mini horse for a pot of half munched flowers. And she knew their equine visitor very well.

Grayson looked up from his struggle to see his mom walking out of the house with her phone in hand. He looked at her pleadingly and she just chuckled.

“Don’t worry sweetie I called his owners, Emperor’s mom is coming to pick him up as we speak” She told him.

“Wait you actually know where he came from?!” He let go of the animal and marched up to the woman comfortably clad in whool robe and warm slippers while he was out there shirtless and barefoot, hair stuck in every direction, trying to defend their home.

And of course in that moment his beloved brother decided to join in the fun from his bedroom window. Ethan let put a loud snort at his twin’s dishiveled appearance.

“Dude, what happened to you?” he asked in between laughs.

“Shut the fuck up E!” Grayson yelled looking up to his brother. “It could’ve been a murderer or some shit” At that Lisa couldn’t contain herself anymore and let put a loud laugh. She walked towards him with his coat in her hands that she had retrieved while the boys bantered.

“Oh realx sweetie! I don’t think you can die from cuteness overload” She paused while Grayson snatched his coat and glanced at the small black horse. to speak to it in a baby voice. “Ain’t that right Emperor?”

He put on his coat over his otherwise naked torso and and ran his hands through his unruly hair, exasperated. His mom speaking to the little monster briefly reminded him of his beautiful nymph and how her horse actually seemeyto listen, unlike this urchin that had breakfast on his mom’s flowers. He sneered at the animal before speaking.

“So you know the owners, ma?”

“Yeah, they’re sugarcane farmers. Our neighbors up north.”

“Up north? That’s dairy farm?” Grayson replied maliciously. Of course it would be dairy people that would own this mini horse devil. It just made sense.

Lisa just chuckled again at the grave look on Grayson’s face. Ethan just observed carefully from above how Emperor finished a pot of tiny purple flowers and was stretching his little neck trying to reach the next one containing daisies. Or at least he thought that’s what those were, either way it was simply hilarious.

“That’s north of the road, Gray. I’m talking about north of the property, they grow sugarcane organically. ” She explained exitedly.

“Oh... well whoever they are they better come get their poor animal soon.”

“They are already on the way, I just sent Denisse a text” She replied sternly, her sons could be the biggest men-child sometimes. “And even though they’re not vegan, I can assure you they take real good care of their animals.” Since Grayson didn’t seem all that convinced she continued, “Especially their horses, Denisse’s daughter has wall full of horsemanship thophies and first place ribbons, that girl spends hours everyday tending them.”

“Well apparently not enough” He grumbled brooding. “This one is clearly not that educated”

“Oh, Emperor is just a bit... energetic”

Oh hell no. She was actually gonna deffend it.

“ENERGETIC?!” He snapped. “ He ate your exotic flower and destroyed the garden! He’s a monster in a small package!”

“Gray it’s okay. And you’re exaggerating he didn’t destroy anything he just turned a few flower pots.”

“What about you exotic kayacka or whatever it’s called!” He kept on yelling. “HE ANNIHILATE IT”

Grayson was seething at this point. He loved animals and nature, he had gone vegan for God’s sake. But this was just too much, nature had basically trampled him in the last 12 hours. First the god forsaken frogs screaming their slimy little lungs out kept him up half of the night and now this!

This annoying piece of horse flesh had not only awoken him at the fucking asscrack of down, but it had also destroyed the garden he had busted his back to buid for Ma, who was currently laughing at his missery. And as if that wasn’t enough he was more than likely going to miss his secret appointment with his beautiful nymph.

“It’s called a cayena and he didn’t do it intentionally , Gosh, calm down” She pinned him with a stare “And it’s not that big of a deal, there’s more where that one came from I’m sure Denisse wouldn’t mind. Plus her daughter will more than likely begg to help picking up this mess, like I said she always looks out for the horses” She pursed her lips starting to get a annoyed at his irrational fury. “As mother would, she’s always picking up her childs messes”

“Well if she is such a great horse mom, how come her child is a freakin flower eating tornado” Grayson replied grudgingly, feeling like a scolded child for something he didn’t even do. Was he seriously talking about this horse like it was a person?

In the middle of his ire he looked down. Now that the sun was starting to illuminate the early morning he could see it had a kinda nice chesnut color and his beady ayes were staring eagerly at the daisies, that were just a few centimeters out of reach. If it hadn’t been such a nightmare Grayson could almost see himself looking for his allergy pill after petting the cute tiny thing. But it had messed with his garden and managed to get stuck, now he was going to have to ruin the chicken wire to cut him free. So no, Emeperos wasn’t all that cute anymore and after looking at the redish bite mark on his hand he definitely didn’t want to pet it. Lisa’s voice interrupted his musings.

“Listes, go put on you shoes, get yourself some breakfast and try to calm down. Denisse’s daughter shouldn’t be more than a few minutes away, I’ll look after him in the meantime”

“Oh no no, I’m gonna have a word with this chit and she’s gonna fix this immediately.”

Lisa was about to stop Grayson’s angry rambling until she spotted a rider and horse closing in on the house from the north trail.

“I mean, who the hell does she think she is? Letting her animals trample around and how long tilll-“

“Oh my Gosh! I’m so sorry Mrs Dolan I can’t believe he’s done this again.” A female voice rung melodically behind him accompanied by the resounding thudding of heavy hooves on grass. “Emperooor” the voice groaned “ what was it this time?”

Grayson knew that voice, and even if he had never heard her giving soft commands to her intimidating black stallion he would have recognized the feeling she stirred in him. That fluttering on the left side of his chest, the earthquake of butterflies in his stomach, that familiar sense of calmness that only her could bring him. 

Lisa´s voice brought him back from his momentary day dream.

“Well son it looks like your wish came true” she said so only he could hear and the raised her voice to greet the girl rapidly approaching them on horseback. “(Y/N) , sweetie, hello!”

Grayson turned around utterly speechless. Astounded by her beauty and awed by the mere sight of her as she dismounted  gracefully from the familiar black stud, who was actually saddled this time. 

She stepped away from the huge beast and walked towards where they were standing near the garden. With every step closer that she took Grayson felt his lungs closing up on him. What was I supposed to say to her, again? The mini horse, right. 

“I’m so sorry Mrs. Dolan. I don't know what to do with him anymore, ever since we moved up here he seems to find new ways to scape stalls and squeeze to fences daily” (Y/N) kept babbling out her sincere apologies while she come to hug the older woman whose garden had been vandalized by her favorite Shetland.

“(Y/N) I’ve told you a hundred times it’s Lisa, and don't worry about it I understand you mother is always telling me how hard you try to keep Emperor in check” She replied glaring slightly at Grayson whose jaw had fallen slightly ajar, she elbowed him discreetly bringing him back from whatever dreamland he was in. “Can't speak for the big man here though, he was a little distressed earlier”

As if he wasn't having a hard enough time (Y/N) shiny browns eyes peered up at him shyly stilling his lungs once again, and a lovely blush spread on her chubby cheeks. He followed the rosy trail with his eyes to the top of her round breasts wondering how far down her body would it reach. And when she spoke softly to him, he was a goner.

“Oh... I’m so sorry, I promise I will fix it up right away” When he didn't reply she added “I'm not as great as Lisa but I’m a pretty decent gardener, I swear its gonna look  brand new” Gosh, this was embarrassing. He was so handsome and she has just let her mini-horse ruin his mother's garden. 

Lisa’s elbow once again spooked him out of his catatonic state.

“Oh don’t be modest, I bet it’s gonna look better than before. Right, Gray?” Seeing the look in his eyes, she quickly decided that (Y/N) would have a little help fixing her plants. “Sweetie, I know you've made good friends with Cameron but I don't think you've met my sons before”

“No ma’am, I don't think I've had the pleasure” (Y/L) replied in a low voice very unlike herself.

“Okay this is Grayson and that nosy one with his head stuck out the window is his twin brother Ethan” (Y/N) glanced in the direction Lisa was pointing and sure enough there was buzz cut head sticking out the second floor window with a smirk plastered all over his angular face, ready to yell a greeting to his brother’s dream girls. Gray had described her so many times with so much detail that it was scary but it also allowed him to tell right away when he saw the curly haired girl atop the black horse.

“Why good morning Miss Horsey Neighbor (Y/L) it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance” Ethan yelled with a flirty smirk that he knew was sure to infuriate his twin.

“The pleasure is all mine, good sir” (Y/N) replied with a laugh, following along on his joke. Ethan seemed like a funny guy, she could see them becoming friends. The other brother though, they had the same sharp jawline and handsome features, but Grayson’s intense stare was definitely something else. She felt intimidated yet...exited?

Grayson stuck his hand out dumbly trying to get her attention back from his brother.

“I’m distressed and it’s okay, I wasn't Grayson” he vomited his words while trying to produce a smile that ended up looking like a grimace. (Y/L) offered him a blushy smile back none the less.

“It's a pleasure Distressed”

“Huh? Oh, fuck!” Nice job champ let her think you're fucking retarded “ it’s Grayson! I’m Grayson and  was not  distressed. I was just um...” He trailed off looking to his mom for help bur she merely shrugged “I was uh... worried! For the mini! Poor little guy just wanted a snack and ended up stuck in the chicken wire.” 

He stuttered and stumbled trough his explanation but (Y/N), who was usually very perceptive, was still so embarrassed and flustered that she didn't notice he was lying.

“Okay. So, he shouldn’tbe snacking on flowers, anyways, he knows that” (Y/N) mumbled walking towards Emperor who had stopped  struggling towards the white daisies and was now waiting for attention from his favorite human. “Alrighty pal, what did you get yourself into” She kneeled on the ground and started inspecting Emperor’s little hoof stuck on the wire. She tried to pull it out but it was too tight, the wire had tu be cut.

Meanwhile Grayson stared amazed at how the little horse devil had turned into horse putty in (Y/N)’s hands. His ears pointed towards and he rubbed his furry neck on her arm looking for scratches. No sign of the Shetland that had rudely attacked him earlier. He looked down at his hand and noticed that the bite mark was barely visible now, maybe Emperor wasn't that bad after all. Maybe.

“It’s too tight if we don't cut the wire he could hurt himself” (Y/N) announced looking up towards Lisa but the taught about it and directed her glance towards her son, who already had a cutting plier in his hand. “Do you think I can borrow that?”

“Yeah, sure, here you go” He was about to hand her the tool when Lisa widened her eyes at him at pointed her chin to the girl crouched con her garden. “Actually, let me do it” He corrected, kneeling down right next to her so that his strong shoulder thighs brushed against her blue jeans. He heard vaguely a big impatient snort behind but paid no mind to de large stallion that stood where (Y/N) had tied his reigns to the garden fence. The thing was so big it could probably pull the fence right off the soil, but instead stood patiently waiting for his master.

“I live in farm y’know I think I can manage a pair of pliers” She replied slightly annoyed that he wouldn't hand her the damned thing.

“Oh, don’t mind him honey he just loves playing with his tools” Lisa pitched in from above them. Grayson prayed nobody noticed his flushed face, but his nymph was deliciously close to him for the first time. Never before he had had the chance of perceiving her intoxicating scent, it was sweet almost like melted sugar right before it turns into caramel.

“I don’t play, ma! I build stuff”  He looked up at his mother with a look half annoyed/half pleading. “Besides, I’m sure you're more than capable of cutting some measly chicken wire, I just thought you could keep him calm so that-”

“Oh my God! You're totally right.”

“I am?”

“OF COURSE, he could run around as soon as he's free and continue to dismantle this poor place. Good thinking, Grayson” 

Was that even his name she just pronounce? He didn't remember ever sounding so good.

“Yup, yeah. That's it” Yeah I totally wasn't trying to show off for you, nymph.

(Y/N) resumed scratching Emperor with one hand while the other pushed on his neck  to give Grayson as much room to cut the wire as possible. Since the kids seemed to be getting along quite nicely Lisa decided to make herself scarce.

“Well guys I’m gonna get inside and make some breakfast” She received two distracted hums and with that she left, not without throwing a pointed glance up at Ethan who immediately stuck his head back inside.

A few minutes later Emperor was a free and happy Shetland. Since he had already eaten, clearly, she decided she could get a head start on the mess the mini had made before riding back home for breakfast. She attached a lead-rope she had brought to the his halter, that he was miraculously still wearing, and tied him to the fence. Grayson just watched her, still kneeling by the dirt bed, she moved so naturally between the mess.

“I’m so sorry, really. For the life of me I have no idea how he came to eat flowers  on the first place, I will bring over some seeds later but I’m gonna start cleaning this now, do you have some gardening tools I can borrow?” She was a little breathless after spurting out all of that, she was so nervous now that they were alone. 

He got up and dusted his sweatpants.

“Sure, they are in my building shed” He replied puffing out his already beefy chest, his building shed was his pride and joy. “Just let me grab my boots real quick”

“Oh that’s okay I ca-” but he was already running inside.

A few minutes later after running a hand through his hair numerous times to tame his bedhead in front of the living room mirror, they were walking a bit closer than necessary to the shed.

“So, you like building a lot?” At that Grayson put on full display his million dollar smile.

“You could say that” He said looking around the shed for the gardening toolbox.”I build my mom that garden, I mean me and my brother did it but he was more like an.. assistant” Grayson could have swooned when he heard her laughter but instead focused on grabbing the box from the top shelf. 

“Are you kidding? I could have sworn that was made by a professional?” She replied, seemingly impressed while they walked back. 

“Why thank you, n- (Y/N)” He put the box down next to the first overturned plant pot “I appreciate that” Oh he appreciated it, alright.

“You know, you don't need, it was my horse after all” she sat criss- cross and started rummaging trough the box.

This was it, Grayson needed to pull his shit together if he wanted to make a good first impression on this gorgeous nymph that was eagerly staring up at him, waiting for an answer that his dumbass was unable to produce. With his shaking hands conveniently hidden inside his pockets, he stared confidently into her deep brown eyes and pulled his most charming smile.

And then they got to work. All coquettish smiles, blushing faces and casual hand brushings. They talked about building, horses, video games and even the process of cultivating high quality sugar cane without using pesticides. Grayson was over the moon being the sole focus of her attention, he had waited so long for this. He watched  as she pulled away from her face the rebel curls that scaped from her ponytail wishing he could run his hands through the luscious strands and wondering if her round cheeks would be as soft as they looked if he were to touch them with his rough fingertips. He was so immersed in her that didn't realize that their work was done when they picked up the last of Emperors victims, the cayenne on the porch. 

Standing on the recently clean porch steps they took a minute to admire their hard work. Or at least for Grayson they were to admire her.

“Well, this is it, thank you so much for you help Gray, you didn't have to” Did she just called him by his nickname? He had to be dreaming.

“It’s okay” he murmured observing how she had to crane her neck up to look at him, she was such a shorty yet when she spoke she appeared larger than life. She was simply amazing. “Time flies when you're having fun” He replied while they started walking towards the horses that were snorting impatiently.

“It was kinda fun, wasn't it?” she untied the big black horse and with one hand she held Emperor’s lead rope while the other pulled on the saddle Horne making for a swift effortless mount. Grayson stood a few steps away looking at the stallion curiously. “You can come closer, Spirit is a perfect gentleman, he likes firm pats like this” He smiled at her demonstration and brought his own much larger right  hand to Spirit’s thick neck and let his left one rest cheekily above her knee.

“Spirit” he tested the name on his tongue “Is that his name?” he was looking up at her, for a change, and its was making her breath speed up.

“Well his registered name is actually Indomitable Spirit, my grandma rescued his mom with a poachers arrow on her side” (Y/N) cringed at the memory of the beautiful mare covered in blood “She didn’t have any hoseshoes and her teeth looked like they had never been floated, she was skittish around people... but not as much as the tipycal wild horse. It was like she was scared but she still wanted something from us. Then we realized it was because she was heavily pregnant, it only took us a couple of days to figure out she was close to due date. A month later she gave birth to the most adorable foal with a coat as black as onyx stone” Grayson basked in the glow of her radiant smile remembering how her horse came to this world.  And when her face fell, his did too.“It was a  difficult labor and she wasn't fully healed yet from her old wounds. The blood loss was fatal, she was too weak to even stand but she pushed through until she was done and the she just closed her eyes and never opened them again. Later on we confirmed she was a mustang so we named him in her honor. You know, most pregnant mares are nightmares, but not her, it was like she knew we would take care of her baby.” She paused at the dreamy look on his face ”Sorry, you probably didn't need the whole pony tale story, I blabber a lot sometimes... a lot of times, actually.”

“No its fine its fine,” he replied hurriedly “I love it, I mean, the story- its quite beautiful,”

“Glad you liked it” She blushed again and Grayson could have pulled her down from the saddle right then and there to cover her cute ass face with kisses, but he contained himself and tried to focus on what she was saying. “Again I’m so sorry about the garden”

“Actually, now I’m looking forward to Emperor’s next great scape if that means i get to hang out with you ” There it was, he had laid out the bait, he could only pray she take it.

“That could very well happen, but I would hate to destroy your garden again” She chuckled nervously

“It would be worth it if I can see you again, soon” The hand on her knee squeezed and his eyes stared hopeful into hers. “Or maybe, we could just grab some vegan ice cream sometime”

“That sounds nice” She started turning her horse around to hide her very obvious blush, but he saw it and it had his heart fluttering and a big cheesy smile appearing on his face. 

“Vegan ice-cream it is, then”

#grayson dolan imagine #dolan twins imagine #ethan dolan #grayson dolan #dolan twins #ethan dolan imagine #horselover #miniature horse #shetland pony #mustang #horses #new jersey #contryside

[lyssasuniverses-blog]

August Writing Challenge (9)

This is probably not as good as it could have gotten & I would have loved to conect it more to what I imagined to be the counterpart (Solitaire). But in the end I did not have enough time & I think the stories beeing so different has something to it as well.

Prompt: Don’t Mind Me – Walking on Cars

She saw this little something special about him the moment they met. At first not certain of what it was, she looked for something in his appearance. But that just wasn’t it. Yes, he looked special – and in a generation where all individuality ended up in being somewhat monotonous, that meant something. It took her some nights staring at the stars together to figure out, what it actually was but when it finally hit her, she just knew. It was just as clear as every single wrinkle in his face lit up by the moon, he looked past.

It was weird. They just met, but somehow – somehow it felt like they had known each other for years. He ignited something hidden deep down inside of her. Something she hadn’t felt in – years? And it wasn’t necessarily a feeling. It was just being there and not thinking of anything else but the night sky and all those things he just said. He opened up a whole galaxy for her to dive right into by just sitting on her front porch, smoking, drinking beer and just philosophizing about anything they stumbled over, forgetting about the darkness bringing the cold that crept under their shirts. All this weirdly reminding her of a routine she left years ago. Something she left behind in the believe that this would make her more productive or less vulnerable. And she probably had been right about these things, but it also took her the air to breathe. With him giving her the time to formulate what she would have been able to express within seconds a few years ago, he gently led her down the path to actually finding herself again. Feeling alive. Not just breathing to keep her metabolism running, to get to another of her high set aims but actually breathing for the moment where the rustling of leaves wasn’t just some noise but home.

Tonight, she sat on her front porch alone. She had been sitting there every day since their last date. (And it still didn’t sound right to call it like that because…it was just them enjoying each other’s company without any pressure to be something they weren’t.) She had been trying to recreate his presence, her past. Sometimes, only for a few seconds, it felt like he was sitting right beside her, thinking about what she just said. She loved this silence, because it meant that someone had listened while her mind had been partially unfolding in front of them. Something that sadly got so rare among her generation growing more and more self-centered. A trait so rare that one had to fall in love with it. (Strike that. She couldn’t – well, she didn’t. Ok, might be she did somehow. But she must not.)

Nights ago, she had realized that this was not so much about him, but it was about him watering a version of her she neglected for too long, giving her soul resource to grow. Like a desert plant who starved for many seasons but finally got to show its whole blooming beauty after some clouds shed their rain. Still, for the past two weeks – alone under the endless sea of stars – she could not keep from thinking of him, imagining one bright future including them moving into a bigger house somewhere else on earth with a more spacious front porch, plants growing around them, grey hair sprouting from their scalps and wine glasses in their hands (because you start to drink wine when you get older) and still so many things to discuss. After all these years a never-ending stream of topics blending into each other just like the stars of the milky way above them.

 In Germany they say, you get the hick-ups when someone thinks of you too much. She hoped the weird Germans weren’t right or if they were, that he wouldn’t mind. Somehow it got 2 am and she should have been in bed hours ago. But he just made himself a home inside of her mind and this… was the most beautiful thing she had experienced for years. Because – whatever she actually felt for him – he made her finally feel alive again. Giving this little crippled cactus the chance to see its purpose on earth again after slowly drying out when the rain would not come.

But she also knew the hurtful truth: There would probably be no future for the both of them. Not with him. Not after all these days without a call. It made sense. Plants can’t move but clouds have to. Plants see this one lonely cloud bringing them live saving water, but clouds water thousands of plants on their journey back to the ocean.

Nevertheless, this didn’t mean she couldn’t think of him and maybe, just maybe, find her way back to galaxies unfolding around her while stumbling through live – without him. Like a cactus strong finally strong enough to grow roots deep enough into the dry sandy soil to reach groundwater becoming independent from the moody weather.

#writewithbeth #august writing challenge #writeblr #just in time

[fluffyballme]

Garden

Let's put this in their second year, because we all know they are school sweethearts

It was sunday and spring just started which means Neville will be there to see his beautiful flowers grow

He dressed fast and eated faster and if Harry wasn't staring at Draco he would be suprised of why is he hurrying so much

But Hermione explained him (because she is good friend and remembers when her firends talks about something they love) as she continued reading book

And so he made it to green house just in time and oh god he could already see small flowers growing! Spring is-

There was anoder boy, at his flowers, smelling them and talking to them- what is going on?

,,Umm sorry uh.. who are you?"

,,Theodore Nott"

He was Slytherin, he heard about him

He was different from other Slytherins Neville met, he was much more caring than other Slytherins, he heard about him because kids weren't so nice so they talked behinde his backs mean stuff about "how he could be Slytherin when he should be Hufflepuff!" and other mean things he doesn't even want to remember

And that boy- Theodore made him feel.. weird

He had small curls at end of his hair, like really small, he smiled to him- he also had most beautiful smile ever and his eyes, god his eyes

,,I am sorry I just wanted to see these flowers-" he started to explain himself and why he is here but just stopped, ,,I am sorry, I will leave if I am making toruble"

He apologised and wanted to leave but Neville couldn't let him leave

,,No! Uh I mean, no you can stay, I mean I have nothing against you here because this is school's and everybody is welcome- I am sorry, I am talking to much"

And Theodore laughed and Neville felt like he could die instantly, his laugh was soo cute that it made Neville blush and amile softly

,,How is this plant called?"

,,Leaping Toadstools"

,,Oh and that?!"

,,Mimbulus mimbletonia"

,,And that! What's that? It looks soo beautiful!"

,,Uhh it's just Narcissus."

,,Oh.."

Neville just couldn't help but smile/blush whole time Theodore was asking him

And from that moment they just somehow started to hang more and more, it just happened

It started as hang outs in green house and then as learning sessions, walking around halls together and even eating together

Sometimes if day was bad other would take food from great hall for both and would sit on wall eating silently enjoying each others company

They became inseaprable

And finally in 4th year Neville got courage to ask him out

Both never realised they were falling in love but they were, hard

Theo blushed hard when Neville (finally) asked him out

And Neville was so stupid because he thought Theo would reject him- quoting Theo Nott's words!

On their first date Neville was a little late and he got good reason, he was picking narcissa's for Theo because now Neville made plan, from now on till rest of his life he will give Theo one narcissa after he got from work (not that he was so madly in love that he was already planing marrying Theo and spending rest of his life with him, certanly not!)

Theo blushed when Neville explained why he was late

But loved Neville even more because of how caring and sweet person he is

And so they dated, at first it was awkward for both because they were also each other's best friends but what they felt wasn't friendly, it was more than friendly feelings

They were school sweethearts, both socialy awkward to show it in public but alone they couldn't get enough of each other

And then everything started

(Theo for every Neville's birthday sended him present and one narcissus in sign of love)

Dark Lord is back.

Death Eaters were called and Neville not knowing Theo's family were Death Eaters, talked about how he joined Dumbledore's Amry and he should too! He praised everything against Dark Lord and Theo agreed , he hated Dark Lord and loved his family

Neville was always caring boyfriend and he will stay one forever, but it was just he never noticed Theo being off, he never noticed Theo being forced into being Death Eater

And so war started and everybody had their side; one heart broken in two peices, both good but teared into something more than themselves

But Theo decided he couldn't do it

So he ran and ran and ran

He run to try to find Neville, he wanted him, needed his soft hugs, softer kisses and his calming voice telling him everything's gonna be fine

He found him just before fight started, Neville was preparing for fight all tensed

He noticed Theo and he wanted nothing more than run to him and give him biggest hug ever, but he can't, he couldn't

He ignored him and Theo's poor heart broken every time more and more until he screamed on top of his lungs at Neville making him listen

He explained that he (and Draco, Blaise and Pansy and half of Slytherins) were forced into becoming Death Eaters because of their pureblood families, he apologised for not telling him, for just running away from him, for everything he could

And Neville kissed him hard and pssionate- he never kissed him like this unless they were having small make out sessions-

That was last time Theo saw him (he had to defent Hogwarts) and so did Theo, this was his true home

He stood next to Draco and Blaise looking at Harry's dead face and crazy lunatic of wizard being happy over finally killing a teenager

Draco screamed on top of his lungs when he saw Harry's dead body in Hagrids amrs

They all fought together, side by side

They all sat down in circle next to each other cuddiling still in shock

He was in Neville's conforting arms, everything was already better

(everyone spend their summer in Grimudal place taking care of each other, it was better with company)

Eight year came and every student got job help rebuilding Hogwarts

Neville got to rebuild Green house with Theo and planting plants, drawing on pots, cleaning mess and making new furniture for Green house was Neville's best dream ever and he wish never to wake up

,,Neville, look! Narcissus are growing, who planted them?"

,,I did- uh that's our flower so I had to, you know plant that one too ove-" he was cut off by Theo kisssig him with biggest smile on his face

_

It was hot summer day, it just fited for late July weather. In early morning was still cold and little foggy but at 12 it already started to brun, afternoon was kind of better but only from 5 and then night falls and it was once more colder.

Neville was just sitting on ground in garden, it was around 6pm and he was enjoying in shade that house made while slight wind was making perfect shade for Neville to take care of his plants.

It was late July, to be more precise it was 30th of July Neville's birthday. Whole day owls were just flying in and out of their house bringing birthday cards sending him best wishes, much love and even more happines and of course teasing how old he is now. All of them made him happy and he loved every single one of his friends, he was luckiest man alive to have such great friends and even better husband- Theodore Nott, oops Theodore Longbottom.

Today Neville got to sleep late in morning, to be precise he woke up at 10am and there was already over 20 letters waiting for him to be opened. But also there was no sight of his husband, actually his husband went missing for whole day but Neville was sure he's doing something very important so he didn't want to bother but also that meant he would have whole day for himself to relax and enjoy on his birthday.

So he did. Whole day he waited for weather to cold down so he could go out and take care of his beautiful and big garden. And it finally cold down, it was perfect time to garden and drink tea or some cold drink in garden. So he made himself a cup of tea and put on table on balcony they had to cold down a little while he took his tools for garden and went in garden.

,,There you are!" Soon enough Neville heard so fimiliar voice behind him and he recognised it the second he heard his voice.

,,Oh there you are! I was now a little worried where are you whole day." Neville confessed as he was about to stand up to greet his husband but it was too late, Theo already kneeld down to kiss his beloved husband.

,,Yeah well I was searching for something special and it's of course for you." Theo said slightly moving away from Neville's comfrotable pressence to get what was in bag, ,,Here you go, new plant book! I knew yoy were searching for this for a long time and well I kinda pulled few strings to get it," Theo confessed and laughed to himself a little and he continued, ,,and how would this be your birthday without these," Theo suddenly pulled from his back beautiful white flowers; narcissus. ,,happy birthday love." Theo wished to Neville as he pulled him from kiss and smiled softly while he still conected their forheads together.

,,Thank you love." Neville thanked him as he smiled softly being blessed he has such husband, God was he lucky.

Im literally posting this in 23:15, but i was preparing for hospital im going in tomorrow so i didnt have time to finish this but whatever; happy birthday to one of my fav characters ever, he learned me that i can be who i am no matter how i look outisde its important who i am inside! So here it is for neville and he's lovely husband, happy birthday! <3

#happy birthday neville my sweetie #i love him sm :(( #also im literally posting this in like 23:15 soo #im always late #neville longbottom #neville x theo #theo nott #theville #hogwarts #hermione granger #draco malfoy #ron weasley #luna lovegood #ginny weasley #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #drarry #pansmione #blarion #linny #happy birthday #happy birthday neville longbottom

[raleigh-ocean]

| Karina Sväre & Lana Winters Alphabet |

A - AU (My favorite AU for them) 

Cops/Detectives AU! They truly are the greatest and the worst team ever, because they have the deepest conection but at the same time their personalities are too strong so they crash more often than not.

Also I would like to see them in a Chef AU, like both having their restaurants in the same street but in front of each other and being competitive as fuck + Mary Eunice and Kit trying to mediate between them.

B - Baby (Do they want a family?)

Ahm tricky subject, they indeed talked about this several times over the years when they thought they could become something more especially. Karina knows and saw Lana’s trauma and dealt with it, not leaving her side at any moment, so putting her through something like that again even if was wanted, is something she doesn’t have the heart to do. But also Lana knows how much grief and guilt Karina has inside, and she didn’t have the heart either to actually pursue that.

When Karina started to take care of those kids and teens in need in the neigbourhood and beyond, she proved to Lana that it was the right choice all along that they never decided to have a kid because she knew she couldn’t give the other woman what she needed emotionally.

However as they got old together, it wasn’t something strange to find themselves talking about these imaginary twins, smart as heck and strong as both of them, kicking asses with their wits.

C - Cuddle (Cuddler? How would they cuddle?)

It was always awkward but they managed to be comfortable with small cuddles, like resting their heads in their shoulders or in their laps. Karina was always afraid to actually initiate contact with Lana, so it’s always the journalist who is the one doing The Cuddles. 

It took them 25 years to get to the point that being more cuddly in each other presence came naturally. Still, their favourite cuddles are sat side by side, linking arms and Lana’s head in Karina’s shoulder and Karina resting her head on top of Lana’s.

D - Dates (What are dates like?)

Going to libraries and cafés! They love talking over books and coffee, so it’s pretty much the one type of date they always repeat. It’s also meaningful because every time they got together Lana took Karina to their favourite library, let her pick a few books and then talk about them before jumping in devouring each other in Lana’s couch.

They are also fond of having indoor dates, Karina showing Lana new recipes she has learnt and enjoy them together, mostly because she knows Lana’s cooking skills are shit and wants to help her. 

E - Everything (You are my ______? Life, world, etc)

They have the same for each other: You’re my lovely and everlasting pain in the ass.

F - Feelings (When did they first realize they had feelings for the other?)

Karina and Lana have spent a good chunk of their lives together and their feelings did develop slowly, so it wasn’t something life changing but more like something they already knew it was coming. They love each other to pieces but at the same both know they would be a mess in something long-term.

It was the first time they talked about being together for real, instead of this on and off thing, when they ‘realized’ their feelings train arrived. It was the most heartfelt conversation they ever had; the two of them in Karina’s bed, sharing a cigarette and Karina’s arms wrapping Lana tightly and caressing her back as if she could get all her love reach her by doing that.

G - Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Is hard for them to be more gentle, mostly because they are used to speak straightforward. So both settle by showing they care for each during tiny moments like cooking together (Lana handing Karina stuff/ingredients) or reading to each other information while writing for an article and such. They do try to speak softer, as awkward at it is, but they feel out of character.

H - Holding Hands (Do they like it? How often?)

They only did at home for the most part of their lives or in special occasions outside. It holds a special meaning, because is their silent way of telling each other that they are there, that they are listening, that they are understanding. Now that they both are cranky grandmas, it still has that meaning...but they do it almost all the time they are together.

I - Impression (What was their first impression of one another?)

Lana thought that Karina was really brave at first, she admired how stubborn and strong she was, but also despise how reckless was because Lana got herself stuck in Briarcliff for pulling something similar and was afraid that it happened the same to Karina.

Karina first impression of Lana was...well, she thought Lana was a total bitch for a few days and then it turned to admiration, because as much she put herself in that situation for ‘love’, Lana did it for her job and that was having an enormous stupid energy that she liked it.

J - Jealous (Would they ever get jealous? How would they act if they were jealous?)

Yes. They are the type of bottling everything up until they are away from the rest, most likely in the safety of Lana’s home because Karina lived in apartment with thin walls (until her mid-30′s). Their arguments are pretty heavy though, and they pretty much know the other is jealous because they got deadly silent while the whole thing is happening.

K - Kisses (How do they kiss?)

Oh they both like it slow. Lana feels that it’s more personal and she can actually feel herself closer to Karina, because sometimes she feels they grow apart due to both being similar and having such strong personalities. Karina loves kissing Lana slow because it gives her the freedom of holding her close and giving her love through that.

L - Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Neither! Over 50 years, they didn’t say ‘I love you’ to each other, not even in a friendly way. They have this thing in which they look into each other eyes for a few seconds longer than the usual and that’s enough for them. They’ll probably keep it like that till the end of times.

M - Memory (What’s their favorite memory of the relationship?)

Christmas, 1990. Snowstorm outside, they were at Karina’s apartment spending some quality time together after a really difficult interview at Lana’s show. They’ve been together for six months already, after going back to each other’s arms at the beginning of summer. They were cuddling in the couch reading when Lana told her that she was still really sorry about Mary Eunice and that she hoped she had been brave enough to be what Karina needed instead of them having this on and off thing for so long.

Karina never heard Lana talking like that but at the same time it made her think that maybe if both they had met in other circumstances, they could’ve been something more stable and maybe everlasting. She voiced that to Lana, kissing her softly afterwards, and just telling her that they were always what each other needed somehow, that whatever Lana had to offer was indeed enough for her and it would always be.

Afterwards they kept talking about the times they were together over the years, bringing those twins, those proud mamas’ boys, they could had had. It always put them at ease talking about that for some reason. 

N - Nicknames (What do they call each other?)

They go with honey and dear most of the time. Lana’s name is already short enough and Karina likes that because she finds it sweet. In exchange, Lana have a like to call Karina Nina, full knowing in which cases she can use it to get to Karina (as when she wants to Karina to agree with her, when she knows she is about to jump on her and start making out, when she knows Karina is about to lose her temper or even when she is sincering herself to the younger woman).

O - Orange (What color reminds them of each other?)

Everytime Karina sees something green it reminds her of Lana, while for Lana it’s actually black the color that reminds her of Karina. Both held those colours close and always try to wear them (clothes, accessories, etc), when they meet for tea or a book date. 

P - Proposal (Who proposes and how?)

They never proposed to each other. I like to think if they ever did it would be Lana the one doing this in the privacy of their bedroom, probably after sex, asking the big question by telling Karina how much she meant for her and I bet my ass they were one of the first couples to marry when gay marriage got legalized in the States.

Q - Quiet (Do they like to talk, or are they more of an actions type of person?)

Actions, to be completely sincere. They both work in things that need them to talk a lot and sometimes being like that strain them really bad. Also they have the plus of having similar strong personalities and that turns really fast in an argument, as they both know so well, so they settle with actions more often than not to show each other what their are feeling.

However they can maintain a civilized conversation when things get serious, but in settings where both are under control of the situation. 

R - Rich (Do they spoil one another?)

Karina’s bookshelves are full thanks to Lana buying her every single book she might be interested in or that can help her in her researches. Also likes to buy pretty things for Karina, since she opted to live a life without much luxuries (she doesn’t like fancy stuff and such, that’s what I refer to). 

Karina likes to buy Lana office supplies and nice notebooks, but her way of spoiling is through handmade things as cooking for her or knit stuff and things like that.

S - Sleep (What are their sleep habits?)

Karina and Lana have the habit of working till late, but once they touch they pillow, they sleep like absolute babies. After Briarcliff it took them a decade to reach that point, however. Karina is a heavy sleeper and Lana is a light one, so they compliment each other.

T - Touch (Their favorite place to touch?)

Lana’s favorite thing was and always has been Karina’s hair. It relaxed her brushing it with her fingers or when it got really long around the 80′s, help her brushing and untangle it. Still nowadays when Karina keeps it short, she loves to pass her fingers through short hair and massaging her scalp lightly. She also loves caressing Karina’s cheeks thanks to all the freckles.

Karina in exchange loves to touch Lana’s hands and kiss them. Also taking care of them, since they are Lana’s main tool for her job. Other place she loves is Lana’s shoulders for some reason, maybe because her figure is more ‘femenine’ than hers and also loves all the little moles spread there.

U - Unencumbered (What do they do to relax?)

Taking long walks or going for a drive! Having some fresh always helps them to ease their busy minds and enjoy some quiet time together for a chance. Being outside the house makes them feel better for sure.

Individually, Karina loves cooking the most so she always bakes when she wants to truly relax and Lana is happy to take whatever she bakes; while Lana likes to quietly lie down in the couch, even napping sometimes, because doing a lot of stuff during the day sometimes overwhelms her and she needs to do nothing at all to shake the feeling off.

V - Virgin (What’s the sex like?)

Pretty classic, to be honest, but is the good ol’ making love thing. Both are each other rock, the one person they always come back too, so when they are together they pour everything they have into it. They experiment with their other partners, but together? Lana and Karina know each other too well and both love to feel loved by the other.

W - Wedding (What’s the wedding like? Big, small?)

As in proposal, they never got married. But probably would be a quiet and small ceremony, Kit’s kids and their families probably and a bunch of good friends. As much as their lives seem to be big and chaotic, they both like the quietness and their privacy uninterrupted.

X - Xylophone (What’s their song?)

This two reminds me of their relationship!

Rise Up by Andra Day 

Sweet Creature by Harry Styles

This is the song only them can actually dance to and it holds special meaning.

The Winner Takes It All by ABBA 

Y - Yearn (How do they cope with being away from the other?)

Calls. They love to call each other and talk about their day, usually after dinner because is the moment they have a time to relax. Even when they are off in that moment, they doesn’t stop from calling each other. If they spend more time than usual without seeing or calling each other, the one doing the call has the right of make fun of their age. 

Z - Zoo (What kind of pet would they have, if any?)

Being Karina kind of a ‘foster mom’/social worker, she always had animals around the house because it helped the girls/kids she took in to feel safer, so Lana is used to be in the presence of different animals.

But there is this particular cat Karina let her choose once, the fattest orange cat they ever saw, that Lana grew attached with. It was their fur child and even Karina cried when Jonah died from old age. Jonah only let Karina or Lana touch him and cuddle him and it was only in their presence that the animal let others touch him a little.

#alphabet #lana winters x original character #lana winters #lana winters imagines #ahs imagine #ahs imagines #ahs asylum #karina sväre #original character

[bigcupofcoffeeplease]

how do I use my bullet journal?

I’s been almost one month since I started bulletjournal. I basicly figured out that pre made planners and diaries don’t have enough space for me, since I need to write down everything, plus I like tracking some aspects of my life and bullet journalls seemed like a great way. And - let’s take it as a sign from above - around that time I started thinking about it I found one in Flying tiger. It was really affordable, dotted, with paper thick exactly how I like it.

One month might not be the longest period, but during this time I found out many things how to and how not to. Take this post just as an inspiration, because of course, what suits to me doesn’t have to suit to you.

Format

My journal is in A5 format and I totaly love it. enough space but still not any bigger than usual book or notebook. Big plus on my journal is, that it has a gum that can keep it closed so it doesn’t open in yout bag and damage sites. And it has a pocket, which is also pretty useful.

Tip: if your journal doesn’t have a pocket but you’d like to have one, glue an envelop on the inside side of your notebook’s cover. Bought or even self made, what about some colourfull paper?

Trackers, dailies, weeklies

And here comes the best part: the content is totally up to you. I personally keep it pretty simple, I don’t use month’s overview, just week’s, so there is a title site followed by weekly spreads. For each week I have two pages, the right side for all seven days and the other side for tracker of things I do once a week, like calling my mum and granny, or chores, the same for things I do twice a week like relaxing or cleaning our room, some space for ideas or tasks which cross my mind during the week and don’t have any specific date to be done until. Therse are often vocabulary lists I find out I need to revise, things I need to buy etc. A special space on this page belongs to my thesis. Here I write tasks that I must do or finnish. And the last space is ment for one positive thing for each day. Every day I try to come up with at least one thing, that came out well. Sometimes I decide in the beggining of the week that I’m, for instance, going to praise myself for something every day. But sometimes I just write down some good or nice thing. Even if it’s just the fackt that you met your favourite dog! (Btw. I met today a beautiful 16 years old dachshund lady! <3 )

After the whole month follows my language learning and anxiety/depression tracker (all in one), because I want to have a proof for myself that I have some job done every day and colourfull squares motivates me. On the last page is my curve of forgetting tracker, where I’m trying to monitore vocabulary learning in conection with the curve of forgetting. I log the topic of a vocabulary, the date I studyiedit and thanks to this I keep track on when I should revise which vocabulary.

As I said, I keep it pretty simple, but there are hunderts of options and ideas what to track. Loss weight, sparing money, spending money, sleep, meal...

Student friendly journal

as you can see above, I like thingsa simple, but I added few pages which helps me during semester. I already mentioned the language learning and curve of forgetting tracker. But I also added, on the very beggining of my journal place for my timetable, in form of those triangular things ment for placing photos in album, so I can replace it next semester with the new timetable. I also added one page for informations about every course I take, requirements, form of exam, e-mails etc, a semester overview with all four months of semester and lines for important deadlines. One page for my thesis where I’m going to track the amount of  already written characters and for every 5 000 characters I’m going to reward myself. And on the last page opening hours of our faculty library and library of my department and opening hours for study department.

All I want is you a system!

For week’s overviews I use my specific system to make whole this journal thing more effective. Every day is divided into four sections. I’ve tested this parted only few days now, but I already like it. The first one is for appointments, events or unusual changes, for instance if we change a room for some lesson. The other section is for taskt that have a priority. Third part is for aditional things like my own study activities, like language challenges here on tumblr etc.  The last and the smallest one is for reminders like that I want to write a post on this blog or such. I also use a colour code. blue highlighter for school tasks, deadlines, assigments. Orange is for thesis, purple for study thinghs I do just for myself, new vocabularies, extra revising etc. Pink for important things I can not miss and green for other, like chores, calling to my mum, printing materials etc.Exept my bullet journal as a planner, I also have a separate journals for each language I learn, Lithunian and Fiunnish. About these I’ll tell you next time.

What kind of planner do you yous?

#bullet journal #bullet journalling #bujo #stublr #langblr #studyspo #motivation #inspiration #aesthetic #esthetic #organising #studyingk

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Episode 30 Review.

I know, this doesn’t look good. RUN, ROCKMAN!

Don’t mess with Mama Zap!

We open the episode with some drunk bum walking around a city under the rain, who is then revealed to be Count Elec. This was cut out from the american dub, so the episode begins with him entering a mansion that seems to belong to him, still looking like a bum.

Count Elec is depressed because he basically lost his job at the World Three after Pharohman blew up their lair, and Wily is MIA.

The Count goes up some stairs where he is startled by a an old woman, after falling down the stairs the Count recognizes her as his mother.

Motherly love.

After the title card, we see Netto in a hurry to get somewhere, with Rockman running inside his PET.

Which is really adorable.

Turns out Netto is late to take a bus, and said bus leaves passing next to him. Rockman tells him that was their bus and Netto runs after it.

Rockman reminds Netto that even when traveling overseas he still sleeps in late. Netto says that his alarm clock didnt go off, but after saying this, the alarm activates which is a recording of his mom telling him to wake up.

Makes sense, since she doesn’t care enough to wake her own son up to go to school, he has to use a recording. “It’s the only thing that makes me feel like my mother loves me.”

The people in the bus laugh at Netto after this, and we cut to the Count looking at a grave stone in front of some ruins until his mother calls him back inside to eat some muffins she baked.

It looks like she knows everything about the World Three and how Rockman ruined their plans many times, because she tells him that Rockman’s operator is in Kingland just like them and that it’s his chance to get revenge.

Yeah... The Count’s mother also likes to play with electricity and zaps the muffin out of his hands. She proceeds to insult him saying that he is nothing like his older brother.

His brother plays a part in the game as well, but since he is not important right now, I’m not gonna talk about him yet.

We get to understand the Count’s issues, about how he was always compared to his brother and it was one of the reasons why he left home.

After seeing mama Elec zapping everything in the room, she finally hits the count who falls to the ground where she tells him that she has a plan to help him get revenge on Rockman’s operator.

Because a mother will always support you even in getting revenge on some Navi who foild your evil plans.

Back to Netto in the bus, he is reading a tour guide about a mysterious creature living in a lake, making me wonder if Kingland is suppoused to be Scotland, but I think it actually represents the United Kingdom as a whole.

Rockman, why are you so adorable today?

The weather outside suddenly turns dark and the bus begins to lose control.

Netto plugs into the bus computer and Rockman finds that it has been taken over by viruses. No idea how they got there, unless the bus is conected to the internet like everything else in this world, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

Rockman begins to delete viruses, but its now time for the obligatory “Hinouken not being where Netto is” gag.

Hey, India is famous for many other things.

We return from commercials with a shot of the bus under the rain. The driver tells Netto that the engine isn’t working for some reason and decides to leave the bus to find help. And I think it’s funny how there is a plush doll of Rush and a guy who looks like a member of KIZZ in the bus.

The driver leaves the bus, and soon after Netto sees Count Elec’s mansion. He decides to go to the mansion to look for a phone, the doors are open so he just lets himself in.

So basically Netto conects Rockman to disable the alarm system in the mansion. I feel there is something wrong with this, I mean, what would stop a burglar from breaking in and sending a Navi to stop the security?

As Netto looks for a phone he comes across some fallen over pictures, he tries to see them but an old woman stops him.

A very ugly old woman, is he pretending to be his own mom or something?

Netto asks for a phone and the Count points at an antique phone, where Mama Elec sees Netto for the first time.

Well, you don’t usually go around saying that you want to get revenge on a grade schooler for beating you in a video game.

The Count leaves Netto who wasn’t able to call anyone on the phone. Netto enters a ballroom where he remembers about Rockman, his PET shows static and the ballroom suddenly locks him in with a Net battle machine displaying Rockman trapped inside a dome.

Oh no, Rockman has been cutted in half! Oh, wait, its just a layering mistake.

The Count reveals himself before Netto, telling him that he will finally get his revenge on Rockman. 

Netto is surprised to see the Count in Kingland, but he accepts his challenge and plugs in after Count Elec sends in Elecman.

“This is the Elec Dome. Two Navis go in, one Navi comes out”

They start the battle, Elecman avoids Rockman’s buster shots and suddenly decides to use a judo move on him. Throwing Rockman against the wall activates an electric device above Netto that shocks him.

So everytime Rockman receives damage, Netto gets electricuted.

Is this a thing in Japan? Because this also happened in an episode of Pokemon.

Rockman reminds Netto about the strategy they used against Skullman, something the subs messed up.

This is what happens when people who don’t know anything about the show do the translation! Xc

Netto remembers and sends the Mini Bombs to Rockman who covers the whole area with smoke. Just like with Skullman, they trick Elecman into facing the Mini Bombs that explode in his face, shocking Count Elec.

Mama Elec doesnt like this however and we see her on the roof playing an electric guitar.

Like mother, like son, I guess.

This somehow sends powerful electrical shocks at both the Count and Netto who is rendered unconscious.

Netto getting knocked out distracts Rockman allowing Elecman to attack him.

Elecman is about to finish him with an Elec Sword, but just by pure luck, Netto’s mom alarm goes off inside his backpack waking him up and he inmediately sends a chip to Rockman who rolls out of the way and wins in the knick of a second

Elecman logs out, the Count’s mom yells and burns him to a crisp, and Netto turns off his alarm thanking his mom for actually doing something useful for once.

The storm dissapears and Netto returns to the bus ( that didn’t leave him for some reason) where he asks the driver about the engine. The driver says that the bus started working again as soon as the storm cleared out.

After this, we return to the Count who wakes up in the ruins from before and reveals a chilling fact.

:O WHAAAAAAAT?!

The Count believes that everything that happend so far was a dream. Madoi appears and tells the Count that Mahajarama is calling everyone together and asks him if he is going, after remembering some words his mama told him a long time ago, he accepts.

We then see Netto at lake Chantra where Rockman asks him if there was somebody else at the mansion because he heard a woman’s voice cheering for the Count. And to make things even weirder, the episode ends with a close up of the Lock Ness monster swimming in front of Netto who doesn’t notice it.

O.O

So what do I think?

This was an interesting episode, we learn more about Count Elec’s background. He comes from a wealty family in Kingland and left because he was tired of being compared to his older brother. As I said before, the Count’s brother is also a character in the game, but he will be introduced later in a future episode.

From a psychological point of view, this episode could’ve been about the Count having a hallucination or a very vivid dream caused by the alchohol and his depression, the World Three being destroyed made him lose his motivation and decides to return to his home in Kingland where times were much easier for him. His mother appearing represents his desire to find himself again and admitting that he wants revenge on Rockman for foiling his plans over and over. 

However, that wasn’t the case since Netto and Rockman saw the mansion too, and Rockman even heard Mama Elec’s voice during his battle with Elecman. This can only mean one thing, that ghosts exist in the anime’s universe too! Poor Rockman, his fear of ghosts makes sense now.

Yes, we’ve seen ghost appear sometimes in the game, so I guess this was a reference to those moments. In hindsight, it made sence. When she first appear, the Count was scared to death because he knew his mama was dead, and the scene with the Count trying to eat a muffin but his mom stopped him from eating it, hinted that the muffin wasn’t really there. When Netto was using the phone, he didn’t hear the Count’s mother talking to him from the staircase, and she even dissapeared when he looked back. The ruins were the remains of the mansion and the grave stone was his mother’s.

It makes sense that the Count believes it was all a dream, but what about Elecman? He was there during the battle, wouldn’t he confirm to the Count that it was all real? Looks like we will never know.

#Rockman.exe #MegaMan NT Warrior #megaman battle network #anime #dub vs sub #My Reviews

[hellomynudebrain]

Paths(Juminxreader) Part#17

After you argued , you closed the door of your room and promised yourself never speak to him again, but you never thought even once what was the real reason you were so mad with him. if it was because  he brang Jihyun's memories back to you and insulted you or because he denided any kind of feeling he would have for you.

Several days have already passed. 

Jumin and you only saw each other in the morning and before sleep, but none of you speak to each other.  He tried to say good bye to you but you only *humb* and went away. After that you were feeling kinda of guilty about all that adn decided to cook for him adn surprised him, but he ignored you and end eat all the food and with stomachache. 

After those failing atempts to patch things, the mood between both of you began to became weirder and weirder and the distance you both managed to close, now was even wider. And even Jumin and you began to look lame, because both of you used their cats as a sustitute to talk. Suddenly, Salem became Jumin and Elizabeth the 3th became you. And both of you talked with the cats as if you were having a real conversation with that person who was really in other room. The days passed and you continued with that lame behavior, until a fatal day.  You went back to the penhouse after you had a rough day at work. The idea was to lock you up on your room and do the lame routine, but when you open the door from the penthouse, You saw something horrible.  Salem was on the floor with blood on his belly. You were shocked but you took you jacket that you used that day and carry him and took him to a vet. But even if you were living with Jumin, you didn't know very well the neighborhood. But you were so desesperate that you ran with salem in your arms cover with your jacket from the penhouse.  You were in such a hurry that you didn't notice that it was raining and couldn't find a vet near. Salem meow was weak and began to feel cold over the jacket, the blood began to stain all your jacket. You were about to cry, but then a light let you blind. It was Jumin's limo. He park on the corner of the street, got down his window and yelled. 

"What are you doing here?! It's raining, dummy!"

You felt relieve seeing him yelled at you so much that you tears stoped for a minute, but they ended up got out when you began to speak.

"Jumin! Salem is hurt. I need a vet, help him, please!"

Jumin didn't hesitage and let you in the limo. You were wet, with puffy eyes and cover with blood, but even so he hugged you. 

"Everything is going to be fine. Let me take care of it. Driver Kim! To the Sunshine vet!”

He hugged you all the way to the vet and helped to stop the hemorrhage from Salem, he even stained all her suit with blood too.  Inmediatly, he carried Salem and run to the entrance. It was really late, but he knocked and yelled really hard.

"YOOSUNG,OPEN THE DOOR!"

Then the lights that were all off, turned on and a blond guy with red glasses opened the door. 

"Jumin! What a surprise! What happened?" 

"Yoosung I need you to help him, please!" 

The blond guy took Salem in his arms and yelled to one of the nurses on the vet. 

"I need you to arrange the quirofan!" 

"But doctor, weren't you going home?" 

" I can talk with my girlfriend later, NOW GO!" 

"Yes, sir" 

You see all the doctor and nurses move all over the place.

"Mr. Han and Miss Han. Here... Towels... Just take a seat o the waiting room" 

"Thank you, I'll take my wife and wait"

In another situation, you could answer back, but after that and the hard day on work, you follow him to the waiting room.  You were the only ones there. The tik tok fron the clock was the only one making some kind of noise. This time, the atmosphere wasn't tense or awkard, it was depressing. Jumin try to talk with you many times, but you weren't listen in. You were scared and trembling. You didn't want to lose Salem. It was the only conection with Jihyun. If you lose Salem, you lose Jihyun. On your insides, you prayed to god maybe he would had listened, maybe he wouldn't had. Meanwhile you were out form reality, Jumin again noticed how you were feeling. So he took you in his arms and hugged you. You felt so confortable that you fell asleep so deeply that you couldn’t hear his voice anymore, and it was good for him because all his feelings got out from him at that moment. 

" I'm sorry, my love. The truth is that I love you. When I went back and see the penhouse a mess and I didn't find you or Salem... I thougth you maybe left me... I took the limo and saw you in the street all wet, worried and with so much blood that...again... I thougth the worst scenario...but now I know you are here with me"

An hour and a half passed. You were so asleep and Jumin without noticed, he was carresing your head, it looked like nothing could get you out from the deep sleep, but suddenly the door from the waiting room opened, but it wasn't Yoosung. It was a petite, brunnette with brown skin. The sound made from the door was so  loud tat made you fliched.

" Helloooo, Jumin and his misstres!"

"Ali don't call her like that...and why are you here?"

"I came to picked Yoosung since he couldn't go home and get worried....By the way, the cat in the surgery room is yours?"

"...Yes, why?"

"Don't worry everything is gonna be ok, even if he doesn't  make it, it's gonna be ok" "...excuse me?! My cat is gonna be ok and you're talking about your boyfriend skills, don't you trust him?"

"Oh, I do trust him and know he is really good at his job, but sometimes life only sucks, but that doesn't mean you have to stock on the past"

"Ali...! "

"You are talikng about my precious cat, he is being with me since....two years ago"

You wanted to say that Salem was being with you since Jihyun and you started to dated, but you felt like name him it wasn't a good idea, but you didn't know why.

"...mmm...For what I read from Salem's archive, he isn't a young cat"

"...no, he is..not"

"Ajam...then don't you think it's time to let him go?”

"Ali!"

"Jumin...I'm talking with her, not you...so....Ahem...look, sometimes Yoosung told me that I'm rude to people because I'm to sincere, but I mean what I'm saying....When he and I started to date, on our third date my hamster died. Sugarfluff was with me over 4 years, I was sad but he told me that maybe it was its time to leave and I gave it my best to take care of it and it was a signal from it to give love to some other animal....I wouldn't undertand what he said at that moment ,but he hugged me and told me that maybe one day I would undestand...and I did, now we have a Lisa and she is the most precious pet that I have with him..."

"But..."

"Look, the pain is going to be there for a while, but Salem wants you to move on and love another pet on the way....maybe is a signal from the god of pets to help you move on"

All Ali said made your head spined around and made you conffussed, but she was right because after a few minutes apart since she came to waiting room, Yoosung entered with sad eyes. 

"...Sorry, Jumin. I did what I could but...I couldn't make it... Salem died"

The news stabed your heart once again, the last conection with Jihyun was lost, you were lost.  You couldn't stand up, but Jumin hold you and hugged you while you were crying. 

Finally when you could calm down, Yoosung came with another cup of  hot chocolate that Ali brought. 

"Here..take it. It might help you to feel better"

" *sniff*...Thank you..."

" I heard from Jumin all that Ali said to you....She's not bad, but sometimes she tends to go overboard and hurt people on the process without notice..."

"Don't apologize, she was right, it's hard to broke a bond with a pet...or a person. They sometimes are really significative for your life, but it's hard....but I don't want to break that bond...I'm refusing..."

" I get you, that's why I only want to help you to feel better, only standing by your side as a good friend"

"...What do you mean?"

"Ali told you about the third date talk, right?"

"..yes, she did"

"Well...before I met her...someone that I admired...changed and never came back to be herself again...I was sad and cry so many times...but then after a few weeks since then... I met Ali. She came from the robotic  department to  the vet deparment because they needed us to work together for a proyect....you may not belive it, but i fell in love at first sight when  I saw her. That day like a train  the love and truth hit me...It was my time to move on and I did...and now I finished my major...I got a work really fast when I finished and I have a grilfriend who I'm proud...maybe this is your signal to move on" 

"Yeah, maybe it is....but just for today I want to torn everything apart, make a tantrum and feel miserable because I lost a friend...just today"

"Yes, but at least you have a cup of cocoa"

"hahaha...I know the reason Ali fell for you...You're a sweet guy"

"...hehehe...You're making me blush...hehehe...same as you. I know why Jumin fell for you...you are really honest"

After that, you kept silence with Jumin jacket on your back, a cup of delicous cocoa and a sweet guy next to you. You cried but the pain was less hurtful. The next day, Jumin got up and he was ready to take breakfast and  go to work, but  you deciced to repayed  him. So you got up  earlier and cooked the breakfast and a luch box nad everything was already set on the table. 

"Good morning!..."

"Good mor...ning"

"...amh...I made you the breakfast. I asked the chef what you usually eat in the morning and cooked it...Ah! and I cooked a lunch box too."

".Thank you..."

"...You know, you help me with Salem and...I wasn't fair with you...you told me everything and...I didn't told you everything...*sniff*...I'm sorry...that's why ...just give me a few days...and talk about it, please *sobbing*"

Jumin saw you sobbing and broke, this time he didn't stand only wantching you...he rushed to you and hugged you.

"It's fine"

"No, it's not"

"No, it isn't, but soon it will be"

The following days, you were sad, but after a quite day of work, you began to undertand for real the words from Ali and Yoosung. This time was your oportunity to move on for real. You didn't get anything from Jumin and you really got obsessed and hurted Jumin and yourself in the process. Yoosung maybe was rigth,  maybe it was really a signal from god to cut the ties with a lost love and this time you knew what to do.

That afternoon, you talked with Jumin about that.

"Jumin, can you fix your day off with mine adn bring me to your villa?"

"Sure, I can do that. Why? If you can be kind to tell me"

"I promise that I'll tell you that day. I just want to go, but this time sober and with daylight"

"...Fine..let me arrage it"

A  day before your day off. You looked for the bag where your wedding dress was with all the other stuff which one you found it on you closet. You thought that maybe Jumin saw what was inside, but for your surprise, it wasn´t like that.  Everything was settled. Jumin was ready on a discreet car, like it was possible for him. You were ready with the bag, a shovel and Salem's ashes that Yoosung gave you. The trip was kinda long, but the distance between you and Jumin was lessen since that day, what it meant you talk about your jobs and made silly jokes, so at the end the trip didn't feel so long. 

When finally, you arrived. you took the shovel and begin to dig. Jumin offered his help, but you refused it. Two hours have passed and the hole finally is deep enough. You asked Jumin to help you get out from there and finally you spoke with him.

"Jumin, thank you for all the help you have given me and to surrendered to all my selfish request, but this time I have to do it, too. "

"...Sorry, i don't quite understand it"

"I accept your request because I wanted to know why Jihyun left me...but I was hurting myself in the process, that's why I am going to show you what I have in the bag"

"No! You must'n. It's personal to you"

"No, Jumin. You were honest with me and i have to do the same...so"

"...Alright....my time is yours today"

"I have my wedding dress, the wedding ring he gave me, photographs from him and me and that was why I have to bury them together with Salem"

"WHAT?!  What are you doing?! that's important for you!"

"Yes, and for that reason I have to closed this chapter of my life. It's time to move on."

#fanfic #juminmysticmessenger #paths #yoosungmysticmessenger #cat #angst #mc

[girlwithcalleidoscopeeyes-blog]

Why introverts ignore people?(My explanation will surprise you)

If there is a thing that people frequently point out in us introverts is our suppose lack of sociability: "Anti-social!Shy!Aloof! Hermit!Rude!Mean!Bad-mannered!Weirdo!Autistic! Have poor social skills!Lives inside of a shell!" The curious is that,all those accusations have something in common:They all conveniently throw the blame for the lack of sociability and comunication in us introverts.Like the problem was entirely us,the introverts.Like the other people didn't have any fault. That is,we introverts are the ones who are the villains,we are the ones who are wrong, we are the ones who are the "mean anti-social people who don't have any consideration for other people's feelings and their generous attempt of try to be nice with us." Bullshit. In first place,comunication is a double track,is reciprocated,is an exchange. Therefore,if somone is ignoring you,you can not entirely blame the person. What YOU are communicating to a person for the person to ignore you? Second,call introverts of anti-social is nothing but a convenient,lazy and simplistic vision of what introversion is.All the insults that people throw on us is exacly just that.They feel their ego hurted for our indiference,therefore,feel the need to throw on us the blame,because no,it can't be their fault right?It's not their fault if we ignore them.Because if people ignore you,there's nothing wrong with you,people are the ones who are crazy or weird right?(Sarcasm). That way of thinking just shows the clearly egocentrism and arrogance of our society who always thinks that if people don't interact with us,is because there's something wrong with the PERSON and not with us. Introverts mostly,don't tend to think egocentricly. Because we are internaly focused, we are more in contact with our sensibility and intelligence than with the social expectations of the exterior world. We tend to be more empathetic and humble.If a person ignore us,mistreat us or even is extremaly rude with us,even if her indiference or rudeness hurts us,introverts just thinks that the person don't wanna talk to us simply because she DOESN'T WANT TO.It doesn't matter her reasons.Her reasons are HER reasons and not my problem.Is not something that i should feel bother about.I know this since i was a child,nobody ever have to told me.I always was mature enough to understand this.Is not my fault if other people were not.A lot of people already got extremaly mad with me for rejecting them(i and know this happens with all introverts)and insult me with those nicknames above. But the true is that,that those people simply didn't had the maturity to understand that people have the right of reject us.And they are not obligate to give us attention. People have this choice,you know? I already noticed that when introverts are rejected by others,they get hurt of course,but respect the decision of that person. Extroverts at the other hand, (sometimes)when they are rejected by others,they tend to try to push that person in change her mind(no problem,but after 3 No's, please give up). Understanding a little more about introversion, one can conclude that if introverts are ignoring someone,the fault is on the person.She's the one who is doing the things wrong. The true is,is not our fault,YOU'RE the one who don't know how to approach us.Therefore we WILL ignore you. To starts,introverts are NOT extroverts to give free ilimitated attention to anyone and everyone all the time.If you wanna that,better find an extrovert.They are like a 24h convinience store of giving free ilimitated attention to anyone(its not an insult,its a metaphor based on how their brain works).Introverts on the other hand,are like an exclusive store who just opens sometimes.And only to VIP clients.The exception for this rule is our family and close friends(for them,we open in any hour.They are the VIP clients). But what to do if you are not a "VIP client" to us?(A total stranger). If you understand HOW our brain works,you will know WHAT you are doing wrong. It works this way:Introverts tend to separate things. Just as men separate sex from love/commitment, introverts also seperate friendship/interaction/socialization from non-interaction circunstances.For example: Work is a place for work,not for make friends.It can be a place for socialize of course, but the priority in there is the work.Introverts don't like when people(especially the extroverts)break this rule and force us to socialize when we dont want to in a total serious place(like work, hospital or funeral)like we were in a party. I already noticed:Extroverts don't even ask("Do you wanna join us?")they just grab our hand and drag us(it would be better if you asked first. Otherwise,we feel invaded). Seriously, for everything has hour and place,introverts have no interest in talking about football when we are trying to work or focused on something. Extroverts don't get this because their brain don't separate things.For them, every hour and every place is an opportunity to socialize and meet new people.But we introverts don't work this way.When we socialize,we necessarily establish an objective for this.We mostly don't socialicize for just socialize(Of course, this is not ALL the time for both extroverts and introverts.If it were this way ALL the time,then i would never talk to the doorman of my building). Introverts of course,just like any other human being, sometimes smile and talk to strangers too. But just talking casually with us(small talk) is not the way to gain our hearts. It may be some introverts who affirm that they tolerate small talk,but the true is that, they are lying.No introvert can tolerate small talk.Not for much long.Not for a relationship.Small talk is something that hurt us and always will.It's useless deny this. Introverts affirming that they tolerate small talk without depth is like a woman affirming that she tolerates sex without commitment. Is a lie,that we lie,that we tell to ourselves, so we can prove that we can be like men or like the extroverts.We CAN'T. Extroverts are extroverts.Introverts are introverts.Men are men.Women are women. Deny our basic needs just to confirm to the social rules of our society is not the way for our happiness. It's not that introverts can NEVER tolerate a small talk. Of course we can.What we can't is tolerate them for much longer,all the time. We can be all social and friendly to a lot of people,but there's a point when our brain starts to ask for something more.Starts to crave deepth. If an introvert starts on a social group he likes,and in the beggining they start with small talk,he will accept,but if he realizes that the conversation is never passing the point of the superficial,he gives up of that group. The people of the group may feel insulted with our decision,but they are not attending our needs.What fault we have? The true is that,the introvert brain only responds for one of these two things: Solitude and...Intimacy. Let's clear one thing up: For introverts,solitude is SOLITUDE.Intimacy is INTIMACY. People,when dealing with us, tend to not respect this: When we say we want to be alone,they don't live us alone.When we say we want to have a serious conversation,they wanna make small talk.They are not respecting our needs. But for the introvert,solitude is solitude,and intimacy is intimacy.There is NO middle term between them. The middle term for both, it would be superficial relationships.Superficial relationships are neither solitude neither intimacy. They are just a rough middle term between them. A rough middle term that people who are scare of both solitude and intimacy created as a way for escape of both(Instead you know, learn how to deal with both). So this way,they don't have to deal with neither solitude neither with intimacy. But in the introvert brain the things are pretty much clear: Solitude is solitude and intimacy is intimacy.That's the main reason for why so many introverts are unhappy in their relationships:They are trying to go against their own nature in a society that demands that relationships have to be superficial.We pretty much live on a society who has afraid of intimacy. An anti-commitment,anti-wedding,anti-deepth,anti-conection,anti-feeling, anti-intimacy culture. Is not even necessary ask that for an expert,ask that for your parents and grand-parents. They all affirm that the relationships today are too fast,too easy and too superficial. Ask for them and they will tell you that in THEIR time people certainly used to value more relationships. In their time,if you kissed a person,now you would have to marry her/him(seriously). It was this way because in their time,the survival of people relied on the comunity. But when our economy expanded on the last decades,become globalized, we didn't need anymore to depend exclusivily of the comunity.Therefore,the relationships didn't have to be anymore full of commitment,like the wedding. The progress of technology also contributed for this. Im not saying that the things should get back to work this way.What im saying,is that our society lacks a little bit of balance.Just that. But,although this whole anti-conection culture,the introvert brain DOES NOT respond to superficial relationships and to futility.Our brain gets confused with that,because he sees no utility in this. The introvert brain is only excited and energized with solitude, ideas,thoughts and emotions.WE ARE the personaly type orientated to the interior,that is,for thoughts,emotions, feelings, ideas,imagination...this is why we are call INTROVERTS(It derives from latin:"Intro"=Interior "Vert"=turned."Introvert"=Turned for the interior) That means,that introverts have most interest in the complexies and misteries of the mind and the soul. Or the complexies and misteries of the universe.They want to understand their own mind but also the minds of other people too. Poetically speaking,we want your soul(its not that we are romantic,its how our brain works). So,when a person establish she wants nothing but a superficial relationship,is like you were trying to captive us in a painful dillema.Trying to exit the dillema, the introvert will inevitable try to do one of those two things: 1)Try to exit the conversation(move to solitude). 2)Try to put a little deepth in the conversation(move to intimacy). In the two cases,the introvert is just trying to get back to what is normal for him:Solitude or intimacy. There is no middle term for us. You accept it this or not, the introverts are NEVER going to respond to futility.Futility provokes a huge itching in our brains.Introverts we are all tired of ignore this pain. But infortunaly,we are forced to(especially to please the extroverts). The biggest misundertood with us introverts is the idea that we are anti-social, that is,that we reject PEOPLE. Introverts never reject people,what we reject is FUTILITY.Is the superficial, the useless,the irrelevant. That's what we are rejecting, not you. We want so bad a true conection with people without the awful barriers of futility,for us,those barriers are PAINFUL,because they impede us to reach the soul of people. Ironically,introverts are the ones know for build barriers that stop people from reach them(and we literally do. There's really an invisible shield around us).The invisible shield is for protect our brains for loose too much energy,but when the introvert tends to run over too much for that invisible shield,then is not anymore for just stop people from sucking our energy,is for stop people for disapoint us. Ironically,if introverts create a barrier for you can't reach their hearts,this behaviour is actually a copying mechanism,is a response for YOU to have created a barrier between us FIRST(futility).So is actually your fault,not ours.Sorry. The stupid paradox of people when they deal with us is exacly this one: Complaint that we introverts are too closed,reserved, self absorved inside of a shell. They don't want us to open either. Right,so your "logic" is that for you we are too "closed", but you also don't want to open yourself for us(for open i mean strip down the soul). Let me see if i get it:You don't want us to be too closed,because that bothers you because it makes you feel lonely and rejected (solitude,your major fear number one).But at the same time you also don't want us to be too open because that also bothers you because it makes you think in intimacy (intimacy, your major fear number two). I totally got it.That has so many names:Hipocrisy, contradition,paradox,stupidity... No.No.No. Or one or the other.Decide. What you have is called:Fear. With fear,there can't be love. Love and fear don't mix. So its useless try to keep a relationship based on fear. As long the fear exists,there will never be love. But how you conquer fear? With FAITH. Faith in life,faith on you, faith on people,faith in God. And also by using your brain to stay away from the wrong people and to find the right people.If you use your intelligence to find a good person,you won't need to fear solitude neither share intimacy anymore. :) So,to sum up:Introverts ignore people ironically because we can not tolerate not loving them at the fullest. ♡ (Now say:AWWW! So cute!) So,when you wanna talk to us,try to appeal to more deepth,relevant topics(and PLEASE don't interrupt us when we talk!).

#introversion #extroversion