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janyiahsucks-blog · 11 months

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Rodeo Clown

a lyric fic inspired by rodeo clown by dijon

wc 1.9k

warnings: commitment issues, slight angst, teenagers being stupid

“Well I can't lie, I couldn't wait

But it's half-past eight and you're late again”

This is the fourth time this month miles has been late for one of your “hangouts” if you can even call them hangouts. They’re more dates than anything. At the moment the two of you are at a stand still in the no man’s land between relationship and friendship but you can’t shake the fact that something is off. Ever since he became spider-man he’s been blowing you off but some of that is slightly expected. Now more than ever though it’s been getting worse. Like you can’t even get a hold of him and he’s always talking about this strange new friend who doesn’t seem to have any name. But you know he knows we all know everyone knows it’s Gwen. The girl he started being friends with right before all of this started. Before what you thought was a life long friendship with a completely unrequited crush turned into so much more.

“Well, I got those high heels on, and lace

And I spent two or three hours beatin' my face”

Tonight’s date was supposed to be special it was supposed to be something of an anniversary since the two of you started “talking” (as he called it) six months ago. You spent about two whole hours making yourself look as good as possible. Dressing up to the nines pulling out your favorite products to style your hair and maybe a bit more makeup than usual. But once again he was no where to be found. You whip out your phone and send the fourth text this hour.

you: hey miles is everything okay?

you: ur really late now

you: if you’re not coming can you js tell me that

you: don’t even bother anymore miles i’m going home. i hope wtv it was is important.

“So why? Could you explain?

I can't lie, I'm fed up”

Sick and tired were the only words to describe how you felt walking home alone. The ghost of him lingered on the walk as if he was right beside you. But he wasn’t he was undoubtedly most likely somewhere with Gwen. She seemed to be the only topic with him recently.

“Yeah me and my new friend we had such a fun time when we went there” “Me and my friend swung through here once it was like the highlight of my day.” “My new friend is a little quicker than you so I gotta adjust my pace when we walk together”. Though she was nameless for the past few months he used to address her by name. You never put the face to the name never even met her ,but you knew it was always her.

“I don't like being stood up

And hey, hey

What are you ashamed of?”

The only thought that could cross your mind was. “Why?” What was so wrong with you that you couldn’t be placed on the same pedestal as Gwen. It’s always Gwen this Gwen that but never you. Your name never graces the same smile that hers does. His eyes light up and his voice shifts a pitch when he talks about her. Like that’s his entire world. What is he so ashamed of when he’s with you. He hides you from the world and his parents haven’t even met you. Maybe they met Gwen though. One thing was for sure you couldn’t stand being stood up like this again.

“So what are you so afraid of?

'Cause you're missin' out

On good, good lovin'”

“You know what if he doesn’t wanna answer me i’ll just call him” You mutter under your breath sighing out of pure frustration.

After five rings and no answer you hear his voice “Hey it’s Miles” “Finally you’re gonna answer-“ “I’m not at the phone right now probably super busy with a bunch of cool stuff but you can leave a message. Peace” And a long aggravating beep. “If you never wanted something serious that’s all you had to say. You never had to lead me on or leave me stranded at that stupid fancy restaurant lookin all stupid Miles. Go be with that stupid Gwen girl or whatever her name is cause it’s obvious that everything we have ain’t as serious as whatever you have goin with her” Your voice cracks out of pure rage and a little (lot) of sadness. The heavy feeling in your chest returns. “All I wanted to do was love you man” You say to no one in particular just trying to put the thought into the air. Hoping and praying it would relieve some of the tension.

“You ride those rank bulls and get first place

Eight seconds is all it takes

You got those silver spurs on

And chaps 'round your waist

Calloused hands, and dirt on your face”

You knew all it took to be spider-man. The constant late nights and beatings. Miles would come crawling through the fire escape attached to your window. Bruises and blood seeping through the suit. Patch ups and crying sessions. Either you on his shoulder begging him to be safe. Or him on yours pushing all his problems into the safe atmosphere of your arms. You knew the tolls both mental and physical that it took on him. Never knowing if the scars you see will be the worst of it all. Trying to hold onto the memories the two of you made while he was out protecting the city and putting his life on the line.

“And hey, hey

I still wear the t-shirt that you gave me”

You finally made your way home unlocking the door and sighing before trudging to your bathroom and washing off all the makeup you took so long on stripping yourself of your cutest outfit. Putting on the shirt Miles left on the floor of your room one night. The one you thought framed him the best but he said it “look way better on you”. Pushed it on you to keep it and he could just wear his hoodie home. Reluctantly you agreed wishing you had something of his to keep you company when he was gone.

“So what are you so ashamed of?

Rodeo could kill ya”

He never really tried to bring up his spider-man duties to you. He thought it would bore you and you didn’t wanna hear some of the gory details of his day to day. You wished you could hear it all though. Just know he’s safe, know nothing out there is trying their hardest to kill him. The job is deadly and you both were fully aware of the topic yet he tried to dance around it. Never fully bringing up the whole word to you to keep you out of danger and him out of a strong headache. You were his safe space and he didn’t wanna invade that with spider-man. He didn’t want what the two of you had to be infected just like every other part of his life.

“I just wanna kiss ya

But you won't let me near ya

But I'm here all the same”

Lately though it’s like he’s been putting up these walls. Slowly but surely placing the bricks day by day it’s like you get less and less out of him. One week it’s long heartfelt conversations all night the next it’s short one word responses to all of your texts. You just wanted to be there for him more than anything but he won’t let you close enough to do that. All you wanted to do was hold him in your arms and kiss his forehead telling him everything would work out and this is just temporary. You’d be there in all the other ways he would let you though even the smallest ones.

“At the rodeo, I

Put my face on and smile

And you ride good”

Miles runs his hands through his hair trying not to rip it out of the roots. “Shit shit SHIT” He paces around his room trying to keep himself controlled. He was out on patrol once again forgetting about another date. He made his way home about five minutes ago with a proud smile on his face. He just defeated one of the sickest villains in Brooklyn and got him straight to jail. His smile dropped when he took out his phone and saw around seven notifications from you on his phone. “Oh fuck I’m so fucked”. He knew that keeping up with a “relationship” could be stressful especially as spider-man. But you, you handled it with such grace. Always knowing what to say and do. Being there for him without him having to say a word and nothing made him prouder than parading you around town. Telling all his friends about you and Ganke couldn’t go five minutes without hearing your name. He tried to keep up he really did but he just couldn’t. God he loved you he just really had a funny way of showing it.

“And I get scared watchin' you

And the crowd gets wild, run to you”

He runs out of his room as soon as he sees all the texts and listens to the voicemail. He barely has enough time to put on his coat as he rushes to your house. A few minutes later he finds himself sprinting up your fire escape. The knocks on your window scared you as you tried to fall asleep.

“Hey mi amor open the window please”

You make no efforts to get out of bed and unlock your window and he sees that.

“Please you gotta let me make this up to you. I’m sorry I swear just lemme explain myself”

He placed his head against the window as tears start to pool in his eyes. You finally open the window and quickly turn your back to him trying to make some distance between the two of you.

“So where were you Miles”

A sigh escapes his lips quickly. “I was out on patrol”

“With Gwen…” You cut him off quickly.

“What…No not with Gwen. Why would it matter if I was.” He cocks his head to the side trying to get a grip on what the problem really is.

“I dunno you just seem to be spending a lot of time with her that’s all.” She shrugs trying to make herself seem nonchalant even though this conversation was killing her on the inside.

“Is this what this is about. Gwen….Really?” He scoffs.

“Yes Miles I mean you seem to prioritize her over whatever this is. You never even asked me out yet you’ve been taking me on dates and sneaking through my window for months. It’s like this means nothing to you. You’re always so quick to talk her up though. If you really wanna be with her go do it.”

Miles silently crossed the room and wrapped his arms around you placing his head in the crook of your neck.

“I run to you, I run to you, I run to you

I love you, I love you”

“I’m sorry for letting these thoughts fill up your mind baby. It was never like that with her I swear to you. She’s just my friend someone I can talk to about all my spider-man stuff.

He runs his hands across his face sighing before continuing his speech.

“I love you mi amor. That’s why I’ve been acting like this. I didn’t know how to address it or if you would feel the same way and I was scared. I was so so scared. I’m sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me and not explaining. I’ll do better; I’ll be better. I promise”

He kisses you on the cheek gently holding you like you could break if he applied any more pressure.

“Will you let me be your boyfriend”

sorry for the long ahh fic 💀💀 anyway u should gimme requests and stuff. thankssss

#miles x reader #astv fanfic #atsv x reader #miles morales x reader #atsv fanfiction #miles morales x you #miles morales #miles morales 1610 #across the spider verse spoilers #miles morales headcannons #across the spiderverse #atsv miles #spiderman atsv #Spotify

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fiftytwotwentythree · 10 months

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Wellness Wednesday:

Picture Me Rollin'

We are officially 186 days into the year - Only 179 days remain - The Year, My Challenge, is half way complete.

I cannot see/feel the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel, but I feel confident I will still travel ahead full steam.

In other news - I had a banger of a week. Lots of PTO from work, took 2 massive - but - highly needed day time naps (truly reset my brain), hung out with family and friends, some awesome fireworks and...

I saw Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny.

I've been waiting a long time and... I was not awed - but - I wasn't upset either. It was a okay flick with some nice moments - just not "Wow-wah-wee-wah!" moments. It's a movie that wasn't need, but I enjoyed because it removed some of the stank that was Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Lastly, I treated myself to (aka signed up for a free trial) Comixology Unlimited - in this last week I have been tearing into some comics. Never felt so satisfied.

27th CHECK-IN:

Current Goals:

Lose 52 lbs

Completed as of 4/12/2023

New Goal: Maintain or Continue on The Weight Loss Path

Avoid "Junk Food"

Minimize Take-Out / Fast Food Consumption

Short Term:

Vegetarian-ish Diet: Completed

End Date: 4/09/2023 - 46 Days Total

Stats from June:

Food:

Salads: 21

Bags of Popcorn: 18

Oranges: 15

Leftover Meals: 6

Cans of Soup: 1

Take Out: 0

Candy/Sweets: 0

Workout:

Jumping Jacks: 6,000

Push-Ups: 3,000

Glute Bridges: 3,000

Assisted Push-Ups: 3,000

Reverse Leg Lifts: 1,500

Leg Kickbacks: 1,500

Sit-Ups: 1,500

Plank (mins): 75 mins

Squats: 0

Weight Loss:

Weightloss This Month: -10.8 lbs

Average Weightloss per Week: -2.7 lbs

Total Weightloss: -76.2 lbs

Entertainment:

Movies Watched: 12

Favorite from the Month:

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-verse

Hours of Television Watched: ~ 19 hours (The Bear; Clone High; Ink Master; Samurai Jack; The Righteous Gemstones; Crime Scene Kitchen)

Reading

Books:

Books Completed This Month: 0

Book Title(s) Completed This Month: -n/a-

Book Total for the Year: 2

Comics:

Comics Completed: 5

Trades Completed: 6

Comic/Trade Titles Completed:

Afterlife with Archie Vol. 1: Escape from Riverdale

Afterlife with Archie (Issues 6-10)

Spider-Man: Miles Morales Vol. 1 (2016-2018)

The Umbrella Academy Vol. 1: Apocalypse Suite

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Vol. 1: Squirrel Power (2015)

Doom Patrol (1987-1995) Vol. 1: Crawling from the Wreckage Vol. 1

Miles Morales: Ultimate Spider-Man Ultimate Collection Vol. 1: Ultimate Spider-Man Ultimate Collection Book 1

Magazine(s):

Magazine(s) Completed: 1

Magazine Titles:

Readers Digest July 2023

Meal Tracker:

THURSDAY

Lunch:

(2) Hotdogs on Sweet Hawaiian Hotdog Buns

Large Plate of Buffalo Chicken Fries

- Nacho Cheese

- Sour Cream

(2) Glasses of Chocolate Milk

Snack:

(4) Bowls of Smartfood's White Cheddar Popcorn

(2) Handfuls of Sahale Pomegranate Vanilla Flavored Cashews Glazed Mix

(2) Handfuls of Sahale Pomegranate Flavored Pistachios Glazed Mix

Supper:

Chicken and Pepperjack Cheese on a Toasted Everything Bagel

FRIDAY

Lunch:

StarKist Deli Style Tuna with Pepperjack Cheese on a Croissant

Handful of Wonderful's Smokey BBQ Pistachios

Snack:

(4) Bowls of Smartfood's White Cheddar Popcorn

Supper:

StarKist Deli Style Tuna with Pepperjack Cheese on a Croissant

(2) Small Oranges

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

SATURDAY

Lunch:

American Pasta Salad

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Snack:

(2) Large Bowls of Wonderful's Shelled Salt & Pepper Pistachios

Supper:

(2) Johnsonville Chili Cheese Smoked Sausages on Hawaiian Buns

(2) Scoops of Macaroni Pea Salad

(2) Spring Pasta Salad

SUNDAY

Lunch:

Santa Fe Style Salad

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Snack:

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

Supper:

Cesaer Salad

(2) Small Oranges

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

MONDAY

Lunch:

Spinach Dijon Salad

Handful of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Supper:

Chef Salad

(5) Slices of Smoked Pork Loin

(2) Scoops of Potato Salad

(1) Scoop of Spring Pasta Salad

(5) Cubes of Watermelon

(2) Small Oranges

TUESDAY

Lunch:

Chef Salad

(1) Small Orange

Snack:

(3) Cups of Smartfood's White Cheddar Popcorn

Supper:

Santa Fe Style Salad

(1) Small Orange

WEDNESDAY

Lunch:

(1) Johnsonville Chili Cheese Smoked Sausage on a Hotdog Bun

(2) Scoops of Broccoli Cheddar Pasta Salad

Snack:

Bowl of Smartfood's White Cheddar Popcorn

Supper:

(8) Pieces of Rana's Chicken & Roasted Garlic Ravioli

- Prego Roasted Garlic Alfredo

- Black Pepper

- Crushed Red Pepper

(6) Rich Farm Mozzarella Sticks

- Michael Angelo's Marinara Sauce

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

(2) Small Oranges

Workouts:

THURSDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

FRIDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

SATURDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

SUNDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

MONDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

TUESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [5 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 set of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

WEDNESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges[4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

WEIGHT TRACKER:

Starting Weight (Noon, 1/01/2023): XXX.X lbs

Weight at Last Check-In, 6/29/2023: -3.0 lbs

Weight As of Noon, 7/05/2023: -1.0 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -77.2 lbs

Closing Thoughts:

The Good:

Had a good time chilling with family and friends this week.

Also had some awesome R&R, which quelled my sleep hunger pains.

The Bad:

Although I caught up on some sleep - I feel like I headed down a rocky yet again.

The Ugly:

After the 4th July festivities I was truly hit with devastating cravings. Missed out on a lot of good looking food. My dread expanded thinking of Thanksgiving and Christmas that are yet to come.

#52 in 23

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bostonfly · 17 days

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In this reinterpretation of the classic French dish leeks vinaigrette, tender braised leeks are bathed in a punchy miso vinaigrette, tossed with creamy white beans then served with an oozy soft egg for an easy, comforting midweek meal. Steady, gentle heat is the key to achieving the rich, jamlike leeks, coaxing out their sweetness while ensuring that they stay silky. The miso leeks can also be eaten in other ways — on a slice of toast, stirred through warm potatoes or pasta, or tossed with French lentils and peppery arugula for a simple salad. Make sure you use the whole leek. Many recipes recommend the white part only, but the green parts, while slightly tougher with a stronger flavor, can also be cooked and tenderized, especially in recipes where they are braised. The miso leeks improve over time and can be prepared up to 3 days ahead and stored in the fridge.

INGREDIENTS

Yield: 4 servings (about 4 heaping cups)

2 large leeks (about 1 pound), roots and wrinkled tops trimmed, stalks halved lengthwise, white and green parts thinly sliced

Extra-virgin olive oil

Salt and pepper

2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

2 fresh thyme sprigs

4 eggs

2 (14-ounce) cans white beans, such as cannellini or butter beans, drained

Handful tarragon or parsley leaves, roughly chopped, to serve

Toasted bread (optional), for serving

4 teaspoons white miso paste

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

1 garlic clove, grated

2 teaspoons red-wine vinegar

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

PREPARATION

Prepare the leeks: Place the sliced leeks into a colander and rinse them well, rubbing to loosen any dirt. Rinse them again and drain well. (There is no need to dry them, as the residual water is useful in cooking the leeks.)

Heat a large Dutch oven or skillet on medium-high for 1 to 2 minutes. Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil, along with the leeks. Season generously with salt and black pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until the liquid cooks off and leeks start to stick to the pan, 5 to 6 minutes. Stir in the garlic and thyme. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Meanwhile, bring a medium pot of water to a boil over high. Add the eggs and continue to cook over medium-high for 7 minutes. (Make sure you set a timer.) Set up an ice bath. Using a spider ladle or slotted spoon, remove the eggs from the water and immediately add them to the ice bath. Cool for 3 to 4 minutes, then peel and set aside.

Make the vinaigrette: In a large bowl, whisk together the miso paste, Dijon mustard, garlic, vinegar and olive oil.

Uncover the leeks — they will have reduced into a silky, jammy consistency. Discard the thyme, transfer the leeks to the bowl and stir to coat in the miso vinaigrette.

Stir in the white beans and leave to cool for a few minutes. Add about ¾ of the tarragon or parsley leaves and toss gently to combine.

Divide the leeks and beans among bowls and drizzle each with olive oil. Top with a halved jammy egg and finish with the remaining herbs. Serve with toast, if desired.

#food & drink #cooking #recipes #leeks

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sufferingcity · 6 months

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Spider Deviled Eggs for Halloween Are you looking for some simple Halloween party or potluck ideas? Deviled eggs can quickly become spooky spider deviled eggs. 1 tablespoon mayonnaise, salt and freshly ground pepper to taste, 6 eggs, 1/4 teaspoon Dijon mustard, 12 black olives, 1 pinch paprika

#halloween party #halloween #spider #appetizers and snacks #spider deviled eggs #ideas

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disradioshow · 2 years

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DIS 012

Tracklisting:

Saltlick - Go Away

Portugal The Man - Feel It Still

Ruth Lyon - Black Hole

Clairo - Softly

Kelli Blanchett - Crosses

Varnish - Not Complaining

Elle Chante - The Call

Elle Chante - Origami

Natasha Sophia - More Than This

Dani Lee Pearce - Spider Mountain

Ethereal and the Elevated - A life less ordinary

Daniel Johnston - The Story Of An Artist

Thrill Collins - Garage Medley

The Anchoress - The Exchange (Jermaine Soul Remix)

The Anchoress - The Art Of Losing (Jermaine Soul Remix)

Lady Gaga - Free Woman (Honey Dijon Remix)

Nursey and the Engineer - On Hold

Cola Boyy - One of These Winters Will Take Me

Mystery Jets - Shipbuilding

Sam Castell-Ward - Real False World

Stevie Wonder - Sir Duke

Talking Heads - Don’t Worry About The Government

Benny Bizzie - Fade Away

Anusha - Someone I Never Wanted (Live)

Louis Cross - Better Light

Rylan Gleave - Cradlesong

Simon Taylor - Survival

Amadoi & Mariam - Le Monde a Change

#disabled artists #disability #neurodivergent #chronically ill #music #musicians #new music #producer #radio show #soundcloud #disabled #disabled artist #diy #songwriter #SoundCloud

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ancientbooshartifacts · 4 years

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White Wedding

Author: Beansidhe_Baby

Year: 2008

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Howard/Vince; Rudi/Spider; Anthrax/Ebola; Neon/Ultra; Naboo/Bollo; Saboo/Tony Harrison; onesided Old Gregg/Howard; Mr Susan/Sandstorm; the Hitcher/Old Gregg

Vince was having a minor make up crisis, there was a smear of mascara on his upper eyelid, on top of several layers of carefully blended eyeshadow. He sighed in exasperation and wiped his right eye clean and started again. This was supposed to be the best day of his life and the bloody eye makeup let him down at the last gasp. There was a soft knock at the door and Naboo came in without waiting for him to open the door. “I was sure I locked that,” Vince said, looking over his shoulder at Naboo. “I'm a powerful shaman, Vince. And there's a spare key on a hook out there,” he said flatly, “How's it going?” “I'm going to look like a slapper in my wedding photos, but, other than that, fan-bloody-tastic,” Vince muttered murderously at his own reflection. “We all think you're lovely,” said Naboo, in a rare moment of flattery. “Well I look like a lovely slag. Howard's parents are going to think he's gotten me pregnant or something...” “You're a man, Vince,” Naboo reminded him helpfully. “Oh yeah. Men still don't have babies, then?” “No.” ~-~-~-~-~-~- “Is this straight?” Howard asked anxiously, tugging at his bow tie. “No,” said Bollo without looking up from his magazine, “Vince a man.” “The tie, Bollo. Is the tie on straight?” Howard asked again. “Nobody look at you. Precious Vince radiant bride. Groom. Radiant bridegroom.” Bollo said off handedly, flipping through his magazine. “I don't want to let the side down. If this goes on crooked I'll have to look at Vince wincing at the photos every anniversary for the rest of my life.” “If Vince love you when you look like that, he won't care about ties” Bollo sighed, closed his mag and got up to fix Howard's bow tie for him. “Thanks Bollo,” Howard smiled nervously. “Break his heart and I'll kill you.” “Yes sir.” ~-~-~-~-~-~- “Bridegroom or groom?” Lester asked an empty patch of air next to the guest. “I'll find my own seat, squire,” the mysterious green gentleman said, brushing past the blind man. He meandered around the pews before sitting himself down beside a tall man with a large afro who was staring at a man with an equally strange hair style “relieving” himself in the vestry. “Which of the grooms are you with?” the green man asked him. Rudi turned around and seemed to see the other man for the first time. “I'm sorry,” he said quietly, “My mind was elsewhere.” “What's up with the dress then, son?” the Hitcher, for it was of course the manwitch himself, asked. “Actually, that's a common misconception, this is not a dress, it's the robe of th-” Rudi started to correct him before he was interrupted again. “So you a nonce then?” the Hitcher cut across him, with an ever decreasing amount of tact “I am above base sexual desires,” he sniffed. “Oh so he won't let you then?” “I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.” “Mexican bloke? Uglier than a sack of pigs anuses? He's here with you isn't he?” “Excuse me, I have to go and speak to... anyone else.” ~-~-~-~-~-~- “I don't trust them, they're stealing our look.” “They look nothing like us!” “Look at her with her bloody milky lens. She's wearing your face! Doesn't that get you pissed off at all?” “Getting me a bit randy actually.” “If you're unfaithful to me I'll kill her and make you eat her heart.” “Christ, you're hot when you're jealous.” ~-~-~-~-~-~- “Are they still staring?” “...no” “They are still staring, aren't they?” “...maybe” “Why are we here again?” “We promised Naboo.” “Bloody Naboo.” “Play nice, darling” “One double date with them and we're part of this bloody extended family of theirs.” “Free champagne at the reception though. And besides, everyone knows that sex after a wedding is the best. Except for the poor sods getting married obviously.” “Those electro girls are freaking me out. The little one keeps making stabby hand gestures.” “Little? She's the same height as you!” “Shut your mouth!” ~-~-~-~-~-~- Bryan Ferry was waiting to walk Vince up the aisle. He peeked around the corner at the crowded room. It seemed to be largely made up of scene kids looking fashionably bored, slightly nervous jazz fans and a much bigger selection of various monstrous beasts. In the corner a man made out of sandpaper was discretely chatting up a man made of chamois leathers and jay cloths. He was feeling nervous. He wanted to be back in the forest with trees surrounding him on all sides. He'd sniffed his son's mother-in-law to be, on the neck, and it had all gotten considerably awkward. That would be interesting at the brunch for the close family tomorrow morning. ~-~-~-~-~-~- Vince walked straight forward and all of a sudden, everything else fell away. He forgot about guest-lists and flower arrangements and his hair, and all he could fit into his world view was Howard waiting for him at the end of that long walk. He hadn't seen what Howard would be wearing, they'd decided that they'd already had three lifetimes share of bad luck resulting from broken traditions. He had actually worn a suit. He'd been threatening to wear a Hawaiian shirt and shorts and Vince had been only just sure that he was joking. Vince himself was wearing an elaborate lacy tunic over a pair of knee length leggings. He hadn't felt comfortable in either a morning suit or the white dress so he'd settled for some kind of a mix of the two. He wasn't sure if the result was genius or just bizarre. The way Howard was looking at him, he didn't think it mattered anymore. ~-~-~-~-~-~- “You may now kiss the bride...groom,” Dennis said finally and looked eagerly at the blushing newly-weds. Howard shyly kissed Vince on the lips and Vince threw his arms around his neck. A plaintive cry went through the church and they broke apart to see Old Gregg sobbing onto the Hitcher's shoulder. “Don't worry about him,” Vince whispered, seeing Howard's slightly guilty expression, “He'll get some cock afterwards. Everyone loves the broken hearted ex-girlfriend at a wedding.” “We never actually went out per se, Vince. He kidnapped me,” Howard replied quietly, into his husband's hair. “You look beautiful,” he said, cupping Vince's face in both hands. “You're not so bad, yourself,” Vince giggled, “Not as good as me, obviously, but I think Gregg won't be the only jealous bitch wishing me dead by the end of the night.” “Get in me wheelbarrow, you cheeky vixen.” “I was always in your wheelbarrow, Howard. I was just waiting for you to bloody notice.” They kissed again. ~-~-~-~-~-~- Naboo was dancing by himself in the middle of the floor, pulling focus from everyone else, including Bob Fossil (who no one could quite remember inviting). He was intermittently accosted by small groups of girls who would whisper in his ear. Each time he would shake his head and they'd walk off, looking deeply disappointed. He was off his tits on free champagne (which wasn't all that free, considering that he was paying for the bulk of this wedding) and a couple of twelve skins he'd smoked in the jacks. He noticed Howard and Vince cuddling, or possibly even canoodling, in the corner and suddenly thought that going over to them would be a fantastic idea. “Howard! Vince! You got married,” he smiled widely and hugged them both enthusiastically. “Why aren't you dancing, it's brilliant! All these girls keep asking me if I want to have a good time, but I'm already having a good time, what're they like? Hey, hey guys whose name are you taking? Or are you going to double bar it? Like Noir-Moon or Moon-Noir. Bollo doesn't have a last name, you know.” Vince was looking around desperately for the aforementioned ape to get Naboo to go and have a little lie down somewhere and Howard was looking at Naboo with concern. “Hey Howard,” Naboo leaned in conspiratorially, “I always liked you. You're a good man-thing-horse. Thing.” Howard patted him on the shoulder and he staggered over to one side. “How come the room's moving? Am I paying for a moving room?” he said before falling backwards into his familiar's arms. He looked up and giggled. Vince smiled at Bollo, who grunted shortly and led Naboo over to one of the couches around the periphery of the room. He lay him down gently and when he tried to leave, Naboo pulled him back, almost on top of him. ~-~-~-~-~-~- “Look at that idiot making a complete arse of himself. I tell you Saboo, it's an outrage!” “The only outrage here is that I was talking to a number of lovely ladies and then you insinuated yourself into the conversation and told them all that I was here with you!” “You are here with me. You're the designated driver, you're here with all of us. If you go off with some bird, who's going to get us back? Kirk? He's worse than Naboo! And I haven't exactly been on orange juice all night either.” “Are you trying to imply that you could operate an automobile if you hadn't been drinking yourself into oblivion? I would pay good money to see you even shift gears.” “What? This is an outrage! Who are you? Jeremy Clarkson?” “You had no right to let those girls think that I was shagging a testicle shaped balloon animal.” “As if, you couldn't have me even if you weren't a prize tit” “I could too, have you. You're aching for me.” “Somebody's dreaming.” “I COULD HAVE YOU TWELVE WAYS FROM SUNDAY, YOU KNOB!” ~-~-~-~-~-~- “Alright, I'm going to toss the flowers!” Vince called out before a tide of womenfolk materialised around him. In the front, jostling for position, the goth girls and electro girls were trying to look casual and unbothered by it. Neon and Anthrax were glaring at each other while Ultra and Ebola conveyed their exasperation to each other with a shrug and a wink. Beside them, Mrs. Gideon was preening and smoothing her hair. Somewhere in the middle of the sea of girls, Eleanor, was managing to make every single man in the room anxiously down drinks and pray. Howard looked at the throng of women treading on each other's toes and jabbing elbows into ribs, with horror. This looked like a riot in the making. Decades of feminism and “doing it for themselves”, whatever "it" was, went out the window in the face of a bride(groom) throwing a bunch of flowers. It was absurd! He thought he saw Old Gregg in there somewhere.... The bouquet arced through the air, over the heads of the crowd, and the room was filled with the sound of fifty women (or close approximations) breathing in sharply. The flowers landed, with a soft rustle, in a pair of small hands. Naboo looked down at the flowers in his hands and back up at the murderous glares of the disappointed women. His cheeks turned red and he looked down again before thrusting the flowers towards Bollo. “'Sfor you,” he muttered. Bollo starting to eat an orchid before looking at the shaman's shining eyes looking up at him. Oh. He swallowed nervously and the Orchis saccifera caught in his throat. Naboo patted him on the back until his familiar stopped choking and shyly took his hand. The crowd of females looked less inclined to riot and some were blowing their noses and dabbing their eyes genteelly. ~-~-~-~-~-~- In the back of the hired limo, Howard and Vince necked like teenagers after a dance. Or, like two people who had just gotten married. “Made it,” Vince sighed and nibbled Howard's ear lobe, sending a gust of warm air into his husband's ear. “Just about,” Howard agreed, kissing the inside of Vince's wrist. “I still think we should have eloped and gotten married by Bowie,” Vince said against Howard's throat. “Naboo would have killed me if I took you away and robbed him of organizing the party.” “Cheeky little jack of clubs. D'ya think he had that planned with the flowers?” “He looked pretty surprised. I think it might have been a happy accident.” “I didn't think much of those wedding cake dollies. I looked hideous!” “Well, don't say anything to Leroy or you'll hurt his feelings.” “Oh alright. Howard?” “Yes, little man?” “I love you.” “I love you too.” “Pity Bono had that other party to go to...” “Vince?” “Yes?” “Shut your face.”

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gacktova · 5 years

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#The Mighty Boosh #Noel Fielding #Spider Dijon #The Priest and the Beast #reaction #gif

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boosh-moodboards · 6 years

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♥✩ Boosh Mood Boards ✩♥

#35: “The Priest & The Beast” (S02 E02)

#the mighty boosh #moodboard #mood board #aesthetic #the priest & the beast #Rudy Van Disarzio #spider dijon #bongo brothers #the new sound #is it so wrong for a man to love his guitar #desert #dreadlocks #betamax #purple robe #request #episode moodboard

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lucydreads · 6 years

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Spider Dijon + Rudi! Hehehehehe

#the mighty boosh #spider dijon #rudi #costumes #party #mine

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dreamineuphoria · 5 years

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bowl-of-shortness · 3 years

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RWBY OC Color Names:

Massive shoutout to @collectingsparechangemadeeasy1, they helped a lot with coming up with these name :)

Red:

Roux, Rory, Rufus, Russell, Rusty, Maroon, Burgundy, Mahogany, Claret, Sorrell, Flannery, Vermilion, Apple, Candy, Sangria, Cardinal, Carnelian, Cerise, Cinnabar, Falu, Crimson, Wine, Amaranth, Titian, Chili, Raspberry, Carmine, Realgar, Eudialyte, Madeira, Cuprite, Rosa, Peppermint, Aster, Anemone, Yarrow, Chrysanthemum, Amaryllis, Carnation, Poinsettia, Begonia, Dianthus, Freesia, Petunia, Hibiscus, Poppy, Salvia, Tulip, Azalea, Canna, Dahlia, Verbena, Holly.

Orange:

Hari, Ginger, Spice, Blaze, Russet, Tawny, Citron, Clementine, Tangerine, Coral, Peach, Apricot, Mango, Persimmon, Sunset, Pumpkin, Butterscotch, Cider, Copper, Bronze, Clay, Ochre, Fulvous, Jasper, Sunrise, Topaz, Amber, Tiger, Carnelian, Hessonite, Sunstone, Sunny, Padparadscha, Sardonyx, Calcite, Dzi, Begonia, Canna, Cosmos, Honeysuckle, Zinnia, Autumn.

Yellow:

Honey, Blaine, Gold (Goldie), Mellow, Lemon, Champagne, Canary, Daffodil, Sunny, Jasmine, Primrose, Goldenrod, Dune, Sand, Flax, Xanthus, Laguna, Dijon, Beige, Aureolin, Mikado, Maize, Colza, Melon, Cyber, Banana, Tuscany, Ecru, Corn, Sepia, Citrine, Heliodor, Pyrite, Copal, Argonite, Sulphur, Rutile, Spiriferida, Scheelite, Calla, Jessamine, Pansy, Primrose, Lotus, Buttercup.

Green:

Viridian, Hunter, Forest, Moss, Florence, Chartreuse, Oliver, Olive, Olivia, Sage, Lime, Jade, Fern, Laurel, Mint, Tea, Kelly, Sacramento, Juniper, Pear, Shamrock, Pickle, Pistachio, Basil, Paris, Spring, Glade, Timber, Verdun, Chateau, Kaitoke, Foxtons, Kale, Avocado, Bilbao, Panache, Khaki, May, Tourmaline, Chrysoprase, Idocrase, Aventurine, Peridot, Moldavite, Zoisite, Turquoise, Malachite, Serpentine, Prehnite, Variscite, Ekanite, Tansy, Hydrangea, Scabiosa.

Blue:

Royal, Admiral, Duke, Glacious, Blueberry, Bluebell, Sky, Midnight, Frost, Ocean, Glade, Bluebird, Azalea, Denim, Pigeon, Navy, Carolina, Maya, Cornflower, Sapphire, Azure, Yale, Indigo, Cobalt, Teal, Cerulean, Lapis, Aegean, Berry, Arctic, Aquamarine, Aqua, Spinel, Chalcedony, Tanzanite, Moonstone, Iolite, Apatite, Larimar, Benitoite, Zircon, Opal, Azurite, Kyanite, Sodalite, Halite, Clematis, Salvia, Lobelia, Lupine, Veronica.

Purple:

Magenta, Fuschia, Periwinkle, Plum, Yolanda, Violet, Iris, Lavender, Amethyst, Hibiscus, Mauve, Mulberry, Orchid, Lilac, Grape, Byzantine, Helio, Floral, Thistle, Sangria, Jam, Chalcedony, Fluorite, Garnet, Kunzite, Sugalitie, Coquimbite, Kunzite, Siberite, Charoite, Phantom, Taaffeite, Tiffany, Marialite, Angel, Verbena, Anemone, Heather, Aster, Liatris, Honesty, Merlin, Wisteria, Zinnia, Dianthus.

Pink:

Blush, Sakura, Rosè, Calamine, Bubblegum, Thulian, Cerise, Carnation, Amaranth, Taffy, Rouge, Crepe, Rhodolite, Morganite, Mayala, Pezzottaite, Rubellite, Calcite, Eudialyte, Talc, Rosolite, Cerasite, Cherry, Azalea, Begonia, Amaryllis, Thyme, Hollyhock, Astilbe, Iberis, Phlox.

White:

Pearl, Alabaster, Lumi, Snow, Porcelain, Linen, Cream, Ivory, Platinum, Sugar, Chiffon, Titanium, Lace, Ice (Icey), Edelweiss, Cotton, Salt, Daisy, Frost, Rice, Howlite, Diamond, Akoya, Baroque, Keshi, Selenite, Selene, Zeolite, Caylon, Okenite, Snowdrop, Magnolia, Jasmine, Powder, Galatea.

Grey:

Grey, Silver, Steel, Stone, Pewter, Slate, Dusty, Boulder, Manta (?), Cloud, Fossil, Mink, Abalone, Harbor, Iron, Trout, Seal, Lava, Shadow, Ash, Anchor, Graphite, Fog, Lead, Gibeon, Celiom, Larvikite, Chrome, Terahertz, Brunia.

Black:

Ebony, Merle, Charcoal, Coal, Jet, Ink, Soot, Smoke, Pepper, Domino, Vanta, Onyx, Pitch, Sable, Obsidian, Spider, Leather, Morion, Hematite, Shungite, Galena, Graphite, Lodestone, Shale, Scoria, Augite, Anatase, Basalt, Blackberry, Baccara, Satin, Viola.

Total number of names on this list: 420

#rwby #rwby oc #rwby ocs #this is to help if you need names for an OC for RWBY :)

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fiftytwotwentythree · 1 year

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Wellness Wednesday:

15.2 to Go

Two Months down and 15.2 pounds to go.

I could quite possibly hit my goal weight by the end of March - I just need to keep my eye on the prize and stay persistent with my portion control and workouts.

In the past, when I would hit a milestone such as this I would reward myself with a weekend bender of fast food, ice cream, and sweets. Hopefully, I can evolve from those old habits - the cravings are still there.

I saw an interview with Josh Peck were he discussed his love/hate relationship with food. He seemed to find a happy middle ground. I feel like I could get there, but I just need to find the ying to balance out the yang.

Off the subject of food and exercise - I'm just day-dreaming about sleep. Talking coma levels of sleep.

I keep saying once I get to the weekend it will all reset, but does not seem to be the case. Still figuring that out.

9th CHECK-IN:

Stats from February:

Food:

Leftover Meals: 12

Oranges: 22

Salads: 22

Bags of Popcorn: 5

Cans of Soup: 9

Take Out: 0

Candy/Sweets: 0

Workout:

Jumping Jacks: 5,700

Push-Ups: 2,800

Glute Bridges: 1,300

Squats: 1,000

Assisted Push-Ups: 2,850

Reverse Leg Lifts: 1,450

Leg Kickbacks: 1,450

Sit-Ups: 0

Plank (mins): 0

Weight Loss:

Weightloss This Month: -14.8 lbs

Average Weightloss per Week: -3.7 lbs

Total Weightloss: -36.8 lbs

Entertainment:

Movies Watched: 12

Favorite from the Month:

Ant-Man and The Wasp Quantumania

Hours of Television Watched: ~ 15 hours (Modern Family; Sex Lives of College Girls; Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur; Spider-Man)

Books Completed: 1

Book(s) Completed:

Carrie Soto is Back

Current Goals:

Lose 52 lbs

Avoid "Junk Food"

Minimize Take-Out / Fast Food Consumption

Short Term:

Vegetarian-ish Diet:

- No Meat, Poultry, Fish

End Date: 4/09/2023 - 46 Days Total

Meal Tracker:

THURSDAY

Lunch:

Can of Progresso Tomato Basil Soup

- 8 Crackers

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

Snack:

(1) Medium Orange

Supper:

Sweet Chili Cauliflower Wings

Lightly Breaded Green Beans

- Ranch Dressing

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

FRIDAY

Lunch:

Can of Progresso Broccoli Cheese Soup

- 8 Crackers

Handful of Wonderful's Salt &Vinegar Pistachios

Supper:

Birds Eye Parmesan Penne with Spinach

SATURDAY

Lunch:

Birds Eye Garlic Butter Rotini & Vegetables

Spoonful of Mrs. Gerry's Deli Fresh Macaroni Salad

Spoonful of Mrs. Gerry's Summer Fresh Pasta

Snack:

(1) Medium Orange

Supper:

Can of Progresso Minestrone

- 8 Crackers

SUNDAY

Lunch:

Green Giant Simply Steam Cheesy Rice & Broccoli

Glass of Chocolate Milk

Supper:

Bowl of Cesaer Salad with Garlic Croutons

(1) Medium Orange

(1) Glass of Milk

MONDAY

Lunch:

Spinach Dijon Salad

Supper:

Bowl of Everything Chopped Bagel Salad

(1) Medium Orange

TUESDAY

Lunch:

Spinach Dijon Salad

Supper:

Asian Salad

(2) Laddles of Peas

(10) Tator Tots

WEDNESDAY

Lunch:

Small Bowl of Leftover Macaroni & Cheese

Green Giant Simply Steam Backyard Grilled Potatoes

Balanced Breaks (Almonds, White Cheddar Cheese, Dried Cranberries)

Snack:

(1) Medium Orange

Supper:

Alfredo Penne with Peas & Carrots

- Crushed Red Pepper Flakes

(1) Homemade Cheddar Bay Biscuit

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Workouts:

THURSDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

FRIDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

SATURDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

SUNDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

MONDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

TUESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [5 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [1 Set]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

WEDNESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

WEIGHT TRACKER:

Starting Weight (Noon, 1/01/2023): XXX.X lbs

Weight at Last Check-In, 2/22/2023: -4.4 lbs

Weight As of Noon, 3/01/2023: -2.6 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -36.8 lbs

Closing Thoughts:

The Good:

Even though I want to quit and just sleep instead of working out - I've managed to stay "in the game"

The Bad:

Yeah, see above, I just want to sleep more and workout less.

The Ugly:

Knee Pain is Strong like Bull

#52 in 23

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