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linkspooky · 11 months

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Hi! Thanks for your tremendous work, it's always a pleasure to read your blog! I just wanted to ask your opinion on Hidden Inventory / Premature Death Arc. I know this one is important to make parallels on different characters' stories, but I for me this arc is a surprise. I mean why would Gege suddenly make us involve in the future? 🥲 I just don't understand how he could come to telling us the stories from the past. Do you find it fitting?

Jujutsu Kaisen is a story primarily about cycles: the previous generation giving way to the newer one, spring turning into summer. In particular it's about the passing of the torches between generations. The elders in Jujutsu Society resist what is natural, they are such hardline traditionalists they often sacrifice the young because they refused to give way and let the new generation replace them.

Gojo Satoru's ideals which are in opposition to the elders state that not only should children be allowed to live out their youths, they should surpass their elders. Gojo is staunchly opposed to say, the elitist Zen'in who believe themselves the strongest, or even Sukuna the greater sorcerer of all time, in the fact he wants the kids he's raising to grow stronger than him.

On the flip side, Jujutsu Kaisen is also about negative cycles, like the curses which can never truly die so are exorcised only to be reformed. It's also about the cycle of abuse, such as Toji being abused by the Zen'in, only to abandon his own son in turn. The flashback arc is necessary, because the problems the current generation are facing started with the previous one. These problems persist because the cycle is unbroken.

Tengen in their explanation states that the distortion that caused Kenjaku's plans to succeed in the modern day happened eleven years ago, and he lists two reasons why, first Zen'in Toji who was not affected by cursed energy, and second Geto who could control curses.

Toji is hailed as the destroyer of destinies because he's free form cursed energy, but as for a more meta-textual reason why Toji gets as much focus in story as he does, is because much like Maki he's a product of the worst abuses of sorcerer society.

There's a reason for this line here when Toji appears before the collected members of the Zen'in Clan, Naobito the head, Maki the Toji of her generation, and Megumi who was almost sold to them and is Toji's son who he abandoned therefore another link in the chain of abuse.

All of these characters are effected by the cycle of abuse in the Zen'in Clan, yes, even Naobito and later on Naoya who appear to be at the top. It's that whole "Toxic Masculinity harms men" thing too. Naobito was not born a drunken, abusive jerk and he was likely not a good father in any capacity considering the way Naoya acts.

They're all trapped in the cycle known as the Zen'in Clan, and they all stare on in envy to the one they think is free, Toji, who escaped and became the sorcerer killer. Toji who, the whole clan was secretly fearful of because they believed he had the capability of killing them / also according to Naoya's take looked down on him because he was an otherworldly strength they did not recognize and tried to suppress him to make themselves feel superior.

Either way, Toji is someone who they have put down their entire life because he wasn't born to meet their standards, because he's something new and different from tradition and the big three houses are the worst traditionalists of Jujustu Society. The Toji they all fear however, is a monster created by the Zen'in Clan themselves. Despite being abused by toxic masculinity, Toji is also toxic masculinity incarnate. He drinks, gambles all of his money away, he's an absentee father, and his greatest onscreen time is shooting a girl who's about Mai's age in cold blood. If Mai was the ultimate victim of the Zen'in Clan's toxic masculinity, then Riko is also the ultimate victim of Toji's masuclinity which didn't just target sorcerers but reached out and targeted innocent girls (Riko) and children (Megumi).

The explanation of who Toji was in the past, how he both killed Riko and drove the wedge between Geto and Gojo's friendship creating the first dsiruption in the cycle is important because in the modern day the Zen'in Clan has not broken the cycle. The abuse of the Zen'in Clan is so bad, that one generation later they've already manufactured another Toji.

While Maki's rise to power is glorified a little bit too much, in story the fact that the cycle has repeated itself is not a good thing. Maki's lost her chance of happiness and reconciliation with Mai, she's won against the Zen'in but it's a pyrrhic victory, she's now strong at the cost of everything else. As I said before Mai is also a clear parallel to Riko, someone who just wanted to live a normal life cut down in the prime of her youth by a member of the Zen'in, who's death then sparks another person to spiral.

They're just girls who longed for an ordinary life and be together with their loved ones, and Maki and Geto are both haunted by the fact that they were unable to save them in the aftermath. Geto's actions are spurred by the way the world carelessly killed Riko, and Maki gives up on reforming the Zen'in Clan and chooses destruction after they swallow up Mai.

The flashback chapters do more than just give parallels between say Gojo and Geto's friendship and the current friendship between Megumi and Yuji, or even give us Gojo's backstory and insight to his character they also go to great lengths to show us how much things have not changed in the modern day Jujutsu World.

While the distortion that drove Toji to do what he did began in the Zen'in Clan, Geto is basically driven by the faults of Jujutsu Society as a whole. The death of Riko is his eye opening moment where he learns the truth of their society, the young are sacrificed for the old. It's not just the fact Riko died, but afterwards he witnessed crows of people appluading for it, and Toji acting like that death was nothing. There's also the fact her death / sacrifice was ordered by Jujutsu Society in the first place, but Geto thought he could overcome that cycle with strength alone until he couldn't. Geto's monologue that leads to his slow breakdown even refers to being a sorcerer as "an endless cycle."

The three years of Geto and Gojo's youth is referred to their spring, whereas Premature Death takes place in summer. Not coincidentally, in story Summer is referred to as the worst possible season for curses because curses accumulate during that time.

Jujusu Kaisen is about cycles, and the inability to escape them. Geto and Gojo's springtime of youth turns to summer, Geto begins to have doubts because of his inability to protect Riko, and his witnessing of sorcerers dying around him.

It's not just Geto's superiority complex, or his increasing antipathy for the weak normal people who demand sorcerers exorcise curses for them because they can't defend themselves. Geto also bears witness to the continued death of children around him. It's not just a hazard of the job, sorcerer society continually sacrifices young people to uphold the strict traditions of the elders.

Geto is moved by the mistreatment of the young in a way Gojo is, Riko's death is what opens his eyes, a few days Geto goes to the village he witnesses the brutal death of Haibara and Nanami's own feelings of helplessnes to stop it, and then his breaking point is when he sees two twin girls who are sorcerers ganged up on and imprisoned by an entire town, the same way that the indifferent crowds cheered for Riko's death and the same way sorcerer society considered Riko an expendable sacrifice to maintain Tengen.

Sorcerer Society's callous indifference to both the deaths of their sorcerers, but especially the young is what drives Geto to his breaking point. This is also the source of Gojo's ideals, because he realizes something went wrong with Geto and he doesn't want that mistake to repeat.

“For people like us, we naturally know how to get rid of the poisons within their heart. But for youths who hold onto a lot of sentimental feelings, it’s another matter altogether. Their heart might collapse just from getting struck by poison once.” “Isn’t it an adult’s duties to rid poison from a child’s heart? As a teacher, you should know this better than me, right?” [Light novel 1: Ressurection Puppet]

In Gojo's case he is actively trying at least, to raise kids in a way that they won't break like Geto did. It's the loss of Geto which inspires his current ideals. However, to dwell on this briefly Gojo is also still a very flawed mentor because he's a product of the system who raised him.

Kenjaku comes back in the form of Geto's body to defeat Gojo. Then Sukuna ends up taking Megumi's body away from him. There's a pattern here, two people who Gojo has a strong connection too have their bodies taken away from him. In Megumi's case this is where Gojo has failed to break the cycle because of his stated intetions, because Gojo didn't adopt Megumi to help him after his father died, Gojo swooped in to take Megumi because he was a potential weapon he could use against the elders.

The flashback arc ends with Gojo making his slightly predatory deal with Megumi, by threatening his sister's happiness unless he complies and lets Gojo train him instead of the Zen'in. Megumi is shown to be a child that's continually having trouble growing up throughout the story, because of his broken home situation.

The ending of Hidden Inventory could have been Gojo learning his lesson and breaking the cycle in regards to Megumi, but he deliberately did not, and so once again the problems the main characters are facing now is created by the failures of the past.

Gojo Mr. "I can totally beat up on Megumi, it's fine."

In this case though, Hidden Inventory is also about how the problems of the past are plagueing Megumi's life, because the primary villain of it is his father, and the ending of the whole arc is us seeing his first encounter with Gojo. Megumi is in this case the latest youth swallowed up by the old, because Sukuna is quite literally a member of the previous generation physically stealing his body away from him to prolong his life long after he died.

Tsumiki's death is also a repeat of the death of Mai Zen'in, and Riko Amanai. It's once again the death of an innocent being swallowed up by the toxic masculinity of Jujutsu Society, all while the person who wanted to protect them is completely helpless to stop it. Gojo also took responsibility for Megumi, and Tsumiki both and later on couldn't live up tot hat responsibility, Tsumiki is dead and Megumi is possessed.

The Hidden Inventory flashback arc is there to establish what is basically the beginning of the cycle in the story, so we can see later on how this cycle is repeating itself again and again without being broken even this late (200 chapters) into the story. With the eventual hope that if the adults like Gojo can't fully break the cycle, then the kids he raised will be able to do so in his place.

#jjk meta #metasks #suguru geto #satoru gojo #toji fushiguro #toji zenin #maki zenin #mai zenin #riko amanai #hidden inventory #tsumiki fushiguro #megumi fushiguro

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neptunes-sol-angel · 11 months

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Hey Sol-Cherubs! I've had this sitting in my drafts for a while but just didn't have the stability over the past few months to finally finish it. This is a pick a card for those having a tough time soothing themselves over a betrayal that happened to them, I hope this helps and gives space for those to validate their emotions but also see the situation from a different perspective to help them heal and move on.

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Pile One ⚔

If you had it your way? "If there's an open position for the devil's advocate, then I'll be it. If Karma's really a bitch, then how can I make her my apprentice? God if you're actually real, I think it's time to send the floods and bring back Noah's ship" If you had it your way, regardless of the religion that you practice and believe in, you'd want a higher power to "correct" this person. I feel like this individual is some sort of "fallen angel", someone who had great potential in being a trustworthy companion in your life, making good deeds to hunanity, or both, that ended up becoming the total opposite. Perhaps, one of the main immoral acts that this person committed, is putting you through some psychological torment that could have made you feel trapped in a mental spiral about your identity and self worth. They could have even weaponized personal information such as your trauma and insecurities that you confidentially shared with them, against you as a manipulation tactic. The vengeance that you want for this person, strikes to me as something that you're kind of wishing for, as if you're not entirely confident that justice will be made, or that if there actually is a higher power, that they'd consider your injustice as something that's worth putting attention towards and balancing. The kind of correction that you want this person to have, relates to some sort of reality check, where the feathers of their deceptive wings get plucked one by one to expose who they really are. This isn't even about other people seeing this person's exposure, you feel that the only way for balance to be restored is if this person recognizes and finally checks their own behavior. This person could have a stubborn ego that's pretty much fired up by delusion, or could have a habit of concealing their toxicity by latching onto others emotionally or spiritually. You don't want this person to catch a break, I'm seeing you kind of wanting them to be placed onto this wheel and spinned around for eternity which could represent internally how they made you feel, but also I'm envisioning the karmic retribution, as them trapped in a fun house, alone, filled with mirrors that expose their inner monstrosities.

How the universe is actually working this situation in your favor:

Instead of being passive in this situation to let a higher power get this person, the universe is actually using you to directly serve this person with a taste of their own medicine. The purpose of this connection since the beginning, was to be each other's mirror. You could feel like this situation has brought out the the worst in you, you may even be right, but this is actually cycle that's supposed to finally help you step into your power. The characters Eleven and One are what I think of for this pile, and also the planets Venus and Saturn. This encounter demonstrates the different ways of things being similar, but not exactly the same, and that there's always a choice. This person was used to restricting others with their superiority complex, until they met someone like you who let's your own energy speak for itself. Do not demonize yourself for the anger that you feel towards this person, but let it be known, that how this person treated you and the misuse of their talents is a habitual thing for them to do to others. The reality check is coming, but what's different is that it's not supposed to be something that's reoccurring, this cycle has gone on too long and this ending is actually what's supposed to be the nail in coffin for this person to change or remain stagnant in the consequences of havoc that they wreaked.

Pile Two ⚔

If you had it your way? If you had it your way, you'd dunk this person in chaos, pull them back up for air, and then dump them back in when they think that shit's sweet. I'm seeing this pile relating to a romantic connection from either the past or something in the present that's past it's expiration date that you need to end now. When they hurt you, they fumbled a big bag, so revenge in your image, would be for this person to literally fumble bags by getting massive hits to their finances and partnership deals. I see that person could have gave you a lot of false promises, and apologies with no changed behavior or sincerity. If they're with another person now, you want them to be dogged out by that individual. This could look like seducing them until they're comfortable as if they've found their dream person that'll elevate them higher in life, to actually being wiped out dry of whatever assets they had. This could be a massive financial loss, or an assassination to their confidence and charisma that they're used to fooling others with. This could even look like you partnering up with their lover to make this person's life a living hell. How the universe is actually working this situation in your favor: The universe is going to orchestrate an ending whether you like it or not, to get you away from this person. You or anyone else cannot be this person's karma in this situation, because they're already on the road of demolishing themselves just fine. If you see this person happy and at peace as if they're being rewarded for their behavior, they are not. This is a person that regardless of how brazen they are, that lacks self love to the point where they are incapable at the moment of treating others right, and will continue to ruin their relationships both professionally and intimately, until they do the inner work that is needed. This person is all talk, but you can only get but so far with words, people in their friendships, family, and career life are going to pick up on how foolish this person is and will follow suit in separating themselves from being associated with this person. It's going to hurt trying to move on with someone you really wanted to work things out with, but for your greater good, see this rejection as redirection from a sinking ship. This situation will teach you to not follow people and proposals at a face value, and to not destroy yourselves (tit for tat) to get back at someone.

Pile Three ⚔

If you had it your way?

If you had it your way, you'd set the whole building on fire. I keep seeing that scene with Tanisha from Bad Girls Club singing "I ain't get no sleep, cause of y'all, and y'all ain't getting sleep cause of me!". This could be a workplace that did you dirty, or in general something that you invested a lot of time, money, loyalty, and self sacrifices in that dropped and replaced you as if you were nothing. Perhaps this pile is for those in my audience who were known as the golden child of the family, working so hard to please people who don't value you outside of your achievements. You want to burn everything, flaming hot to the ground, so that you can finally lay on the ashes and just rest. You want something, anything, even a reset if it means getting your time back. How the universe is actually working this situation in your favor? Maybe the hard work didn't get you where you wanted, but use the knowledge learned and experience gained, to create something in your control and authority, in the right way. You know what it takes to build this new start, and you know what not to do when you acquire this newfound power when you're in a position to lead others. But more importantly, the universe is giving you an opportunity to slow down, and to not be humble when it comes to what you have to offer in this world ruled by transactional relationships and the rise and grind lifestyle. This is teaching you to nourish yourself in the way others didn't, and start investing in your freedom and tapping into your potential. You weren't meant to follow others, you're meant to lead, don't try to burn others dysfunction, it's not your responsibility to, let them have it. Redirect your energy into fulfilling your purpose, reclaim your life again.

#pick a card #pac #pick a card reading #tarot #divination #tarotblr #intuition #spirituality #intuitive #psychic #psychic reading #psychic readings #free readings #karma #tarot card community #the tarot community #tarot community

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lilyoffandoms · 8 months

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I started writing a few months ago around May

And before revealing anything I want to say that I understand the effect of AI on the creative field.

The thing is starting out I didn't have any idea if the story I constructed was good and I would be in a desperate need of feedback so I used AI for it but I never used it to write stuff just for feedbacks and how to improve etc. As of lately I have been carrying this guilt that in a way I have wronged someone. I know my loneliness and incompetence doesn't excuse what I have done but is there any way I can redeem myself because I do feel really bad and I don't support AI generated stuff and I never used it in my work.

I just feel so guilty.

First off, congratulations on starting your writing journey! That’s an exciting and terrifying step. I’m proud of you for doing it. That’s amazing of you!! 🎉

To address the rest:

Guilt and redemption are tricky words with a ton of religious baggage behind them. I’m not one to say there is need for redemption because one is guilty of doing something. We all do stuff. As much as I despise AI, I would probably not say one should be called ‘guilty of using it.’ To be guilty, I believe, you must have committed some crime (which you haven’t) or broken some code of conduct (which is often morality based and my morals are not everyone’s morals). Plus, who am I to make that accusation?

Yes, one can use AI but it’s not a crime to use a tool that is made legally available and the usage of which is legally allowed. Do I think the AI collection of learning sources is flawed and illegal? Yes, I do. Do I think everyone that uses AI is complicit in those crimes? No, I do not. Do I believe we are morally obligated to do better by artists? Yes, I do!

I think there are laws, like the preservation of copyright and ownership laws, that should be applied to AI that are not currently applied. But laws are always slow to catch up in these cases.

I think we, as a collective, need to work harder to preserve the humanity and soul of art. And I think that starts by not using AI until there are laws in place that protect the human creatives over protecting the technology and money grabbing corporations profiting off the backs of artists.

It’s a beautiful thing to create and that’s being stolen from us by AI generated content that gets slapped with the label ‘art’. Art is losing its soul. Artists are losing their livelihoods because of this trash.

And it seems to me like you maybe share this stance. Otherwise, I don’t think you’d have written your fics entirely of your own nor do I think you’d feel the guilt you do. Please don’t feel guilt over using something.

Forgive yourself. You’ve clearly come to recognize the fault in using AI generated content as it currently stands and that’s what I think matters the most. Don’t continue to beat yourself up over something in the past you can’t change. You’ve grown, you realize the mistake you maybe made (and I don’t know if it was a mistake tbh), and you are still here standing, and hopefully, writing. That’s an incredible accomplishment!

Forgive yourself and focus on where your choices have brought you because that’s a beautiful thing.

On a personal note, the things I share here about AI generated content are mostly opinions I have formed in talking with artists and writers (and being one myself) and diving deep into this issue. However, they are mostly just my opinions. Just like, anyone else that says the opposite of me, they are mostly opinions.

Now some of it isn’t opinion. The theft of art and the outcome of that theft is very much fact. As are the lack of laws surrounding this issue. I’ve just taken those facts and formed my opinion on what we should be doing as a society to do better by artists and writers.

One final note, it’s alright to feel guilt, it’s okay. I am sorry you feel it. I know that weight but please know it’s okay. I am also sorry you are lonely. I know that emptiness but please know you can always come here when you feel that, if you’d like. I’ll try and make it feel less lonely.

I am always happy to read anything you put out into the world whether to provide feedback or just to reblog and gush. Because y’all writers are amazing creatures that deserve all the love!!

YOU deserve all the love and support!

#ask #anon ask

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dernarrleid · 1 year

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continuation from here

Relishing in the cold stare of a woman never perturb Kenzou before. The words falling from his lips, he meant them in earnest, understanding the nuance behind the work he performed day in and day out yet scolded himself on their delivery. Choosing who to save, it was easy to stay objective in a system who's design made the incoming of patients fair, taking away another element of all powerful responsibility aside from the conspicuous. Fundamentally, life wasn't in the same colors or variations for certain individuals over others; many had not the privilege to venture out and discover this notion. He supposed it's why there's a near permanent misunderstanding between people of what the meaning of said existence was, as the battles of hopefulness and nihilistic ideals wage on indefinitely. It doesn't entirely explain why most of his run ins with decidedly head strong, free-thinking persons question his character in a way almost condescending. The Irina he had searched for, the profile heard only from a man too cowardly to go on record, yet to damn good at his job for Kenzou to ignore the tip off. The @zorkaya he'd met instead.

Not to be deluded by her distinct features, the pure color of her hair paired with the crystalized, sunny twinkle seemingly disemboweling the fabric of his ideals from a few words exchanged. Across from him lie the proverbial serpent to his dove. Kenzou does not think so highly of himself in a personal sense, absolutely not, remaining completely neutral in his perception. To the defense of savings lives, it may only be faced head on. In the past, his ire while at bay grew each time his concurrent morals were challenged. Which fair, word of mouth often served the impression of his auspicious skills, never probing his beliefs since the medical world had no room for differing interpretations. However, the sheltered upbringing gave way for perhaps the ultimate form of prosperity. He'd been practicing inadvertently.

"It's a flaw I'm not proud of, but the more I believed in it the more it never failed to unsettle me. Outside of a professional environment one has to abide by their own set of morals." Kenzou says, mildly. Ridiculousness settles upon him in his surroundings, staring at the floor where his shoes stood out above all. The extravagance in her prim mien, only familiar with money in a detached sense considering his travels, he'd be rolling in it if his materialism was anymore than it was currently. Extremely aware of how terribly odd they come given they traditionally have no inhibitions left. "Whether I'm alive or on the brink of death, I'm not doing a thing for you." Rather callously put, although something tells him she wouldn't mind in a non-murderous way. Surprisingly, most of his interaction were the opposite. "My life is in the hands of my patients... you don't seem like the type to require any immediate attention."

He shuffles the soles of suede shoes on the wooden tiles underfoot, taking the glass before him if only to peer at his reflection. Self conscious wasn't the correct wording, hair a bit disheveled both from his roots with the beginnings of stubble prinking his chin. In stark contrast, he sighs to the air. "Have you ever felt the need to stray away from this world?" He questions tentatively. Recognizing a smile, not truthful, from miles away never mind the few feet between. The drink swirls in hand, thumb and index finger spinning the steam of the glass. "A man I'd been helping," saving, "he mentioned you in some capacity before his procedure. I... had to see for myself what kind of person you were—why he was so afraid. He wanted me to give you a token of his time with you, said I'd have no trouble seeing how beautiful you are." Reaching into the breast pocket stuffed with a handkerchief was a poorly written letter, manuscript by someone on the verge of death.

The way it was frantic burned together—anyone would have concluded the note held a powerful infatuation behind it. Why for a Ms. Zarya he'd no clue. Pleasantries fell short via his time to even make the trip and her demeanor; reading the letter was one thing different from the reality of his first encounter. He hoped it was his last. "He was wrong."

#zorkaya #GOD’S HANDS ;; i. [ seems like years since it’s been clear ]#/ lots of new things here i wanted to try colors and @ integration #/ i usually take liberties like this 'love letter' but if that's not good i can rewrite dw #/ tenma v any egotistical/high class/callous woman “don't u mock my work u... egotistical high class callous beautiful woman.... wait what”#/ did i mention he's babygirl

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masterthespianduchovny · 2 years

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Okay. I'm back. And I had a realization: I think the reason why I am so defensive of Sydney is that I recognize myself in her. This dawned on me when I was reading an article about Industry, and about how one of the main characters is so ambitious and overachieving (because she lacks qualifications and makes up for it in talent and intellect). But the thing is that she fucks up (a lot!), is kind of cold and aloof, and is ruthless and cutthroat (which makes sense. She works at a bank and everyone else is like that too). And so many people hate her for it. And for some reason...I don't. I want her to win. And I feel the same way about Sydney. I don't think Syd is cold or fucks up a lot. Is she imperfect? Yes. Is she overly ambitious? Definitely. But she is honest and creative and real. But I think a lot of people don't understand that desire to be the best. Not necessarily because you are above people (which, in all of its egoic foundation, is kinda nice haha) but because you're proving something to yourself. You're acknowledging your limitations and saying, "I'm beyond that. I am better than my own weaknesses, even though I still have them." It's not necessarily about hubris or arrogance or cockiness. It's knowing that you put in the work and getting that confirmation that you are the shit, precisely because you did the work and the self-reflection. And I think for Sydney, for Harper (the Industry character), and a lot of other, girls, especially Black girls, it's easy for people to see all of the work you do and dismiss it. People do it all the time. They negate it. Me, personally, I think I got comfortable believing I wasn't good enough because my work was negated for so long. It became like a self-fulfilling prophecy. It affected everything. But now that I've lifted that veil and realize that people bank on me thinking I'm not worthy, I have become obsessed with excellence. I have become obsessed with producing the best and being the best. And I can say I am the shit because I do the work. And deep down, characters like Sydney and Harper see that in themselves too and are active about it. And I think people like to throw out judgments because they don't get it. They don't relate to it; they find it alienating, not welcoming, and not something women should subscribe to. It's the opposite of deferential, subservient, meek, and modest (and because a self-assured Black girl is an affront to everyone apparently). But the work, and the drive behind that work, never lies.

I’m a series of contractions. I think I’m talented as fuck with grand ambitions, but my own (perceived) limited and insecurities limit me. It also may be undiagnosed ADHD and depression (meaning most likely).

Even if someone can relate to it, it’s definitely a black girl thing. Either we sink or we swim, and if we swim, we know the sky is the limit. We know we’re talented and refuse to allow others to tell us others. It’s quite funny, despite my own insecurities being an albatross, no one can tell me who I am and what I can achieve. No one can say shit to me if they haven’t proven themselves (as in I’m wrong about something or need to reconsider a stance). And consistently this approach has paid dividends. Because people love talking over you, telling you you’re wrong, and telling you about themselves when they know Jack shit. Entire years will go by and things people told me I was wrong about, they adopt my opinion and/or was proven right.

Being a black girl isn’t just sinking or swimming, it’s swimming against the tide with weights around your ankles. It’s people telling you you’re not good enough at what you’re doing despite them not being able to do it and are jealous that you can.

You don’t have to work twice as hard, you have to work THRICE as hard.

It’s why I never talk down on myself or say I’m not smart. Because I know I am. And I’m esp not going to talk down on myself when I know mediocre whites people have a head start in life and I’ve seen it myself. What’s funny is, as much as people try to shit on black girls and women for our intelligence, determination, and such, I was known as the smart girl in high school and college. I wasn’t the valedictorian or even close to it, but hell, people would listen to me talk in class and knew I was intelligent. Even now, complete strangers are amazed when I break certain things down to them or know specific info that only industry people know. The way I break information down, compare and explain how it’s applicable in other things, or am able to process certain information…

I know I don’t know everything, but at times, yeah, I have a chip on my shoulder because I’ve always had to prove myself in ways others didn’t. I have to know what others don’t and now it’s a habit. Just like you, I too am obsessed with excellence and obsessed with the best. Even obsessed with hard work and reflection. Hell, even obsessed with proving things to myself.

But we’ll never make sense to a world who doesn’t want to understand us. However, we give more grace, understanding, and consideration to women like Harper and Sydney because we get it! We love it! And whether or not it’s irrational, it’s why I get annoyed when people say they don’t like Sydney (likely Harper too) because she reminds them of someone they didn’t like or who annoyed them. And, I don’t know if they get it or not, but when you’ve spent most of your life swimming against the tide with weight in your ankles, some people just aren’t going to like you. Because you’re not concerned about that or their opinion, you’re concerned about doing what you came here to do.

Chile, I remember one time some white girls got upset because I THOUGHT they were wrong. I didn’t say it and had specifically shut up not to start an argument, but because they knew what I thought about their stance, they were upset and bothered. Lol. Or how I got accepted into study abroad program and my roommate didn’t tell me, despite the fact that she got the idea from me. She was being all secretive and shit and it’s like, “for what?” I could’ve helped her.

We defend them like we wished someone had defend us. We’ve always had to do that—be our own protectors and look out for ourselves. Always wanting to be understood or not misunderstood. So many assumptions about us and people refusing to change their stance because their minds are made up. And it’s so disheartening at the same time, to excel and be one of the best and have very few appreciate that due to fucked up reasons. It’s isolating as well.

😔

#the bear mail

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nerdsideofthemedia · 3 years

Note

I've come to terms with bb but I still want to know when it was decided to be endgame. I don't buy the "planned from the start" thing since everything in show points to the exact opposite. Maybe the volume commentary after the fact will finally put the matter to rest...or muddle things up further lol. given the likely possibility of them lying ) if it was planned from the start there should have been hints from the start they shouldnt have began hinting at bb halfway into the series ( and attempting to use bb being a same sex ship as a shield and claiming anyone who didnt see evidence just didnt see it because it was a w/w ship makes me roll my eyes "I recognize that BB is likely to become a canon ship. But given that it's a stupid-ass canon ship, I've elected to ignore it."

Have you ever gotten around to reading from start to finish the one giant post dedicated to you that goes into length about your harassment and it is now linked to in all my rwby post in the wordpress blogs, @megashadowdragon (yes, I am almost certain that is your actual real account even if my evidence is circumstancial)? Should I put a link to your tumblr profile too?

You've claimed to be in your late 20s, how the fuck can you be that old and still think it's acceptable to harass someone over a ship? and for months, no less. The only time you left me alone is when I had cut all means to do so. I shouldn’t have to do that. Have you been checking on my account every week for the last month to see when you could strike again? Get the fuck over it. BS sunk for good in early V6 (yes, the Renora/BB parallels are very clearly intentional and no, they didn’t change their minds mid-volume – that would have been likely impossible). V9 is starting in a couple of months.

If the writers told you every single hint they had to reveal BB, you would not believe them, so don’t bother feigning curiosity and pretending you’re open-minded. A person who thinks Adam attacked Yang and associated the word love without any planning on the writers' part is someone who could not care less about what the writers were trying to convey. A person who sees Yang getting associated with the ex and Sun getting associated with the unrequited love doesn’t think it says anything about story is naïve at best. And a person who keeps sending me to a goddamn post (that I’ve even quoted verbatim in one of my posts) that says “Like seriously if I was writing two characters that were only meant to be platonic, I would never write a scene like that. The implication of those words are too strong.” but tries to pretend this only applies to Renora and not BB is a deeply homophobic one. I have yet to understand how the hell you fail to see that that post makes actually a massive amazing argument for BB being planned from very early on.

Nothing can be applied to Renora without applying to BB too.

It wasn’t just the Renora scenes that were written by writers, the BB scenes also were, including the flirting and wink, the ship named Pride, the ex attacking and using the word love, yet classmate for Sun, Yang paralleling Pyrrha when they both helped the object of their affection in the dance arc, the Arkos/BB parallels in V3, etc. The writers decide everything. If they wanted Sun to fight the ex and not be associated with unrequited love, that would have happened. Don’t bother pointing Adam didn’t fight Sun when they were alone, that’s why he used the word classmate because the fight could have happened any way the writers wanted it to happen. If they wanted those 2 to fight (or with Blake) and use the word love, they would have.

The writers decide everything. If they wanted to associate Sun with the ex instead of the unrequited love or if they wanted to associate him with the word love instead of classmate, they would have.

Instead of writing a post responding to all your nonsense for the 124539th time,

let’s decide what to do with you.

I’m guessing reporting you to tumblr is worthless because you harassed me using several accounts that no longer exist (mysteriouslypaleenthusiast, reallydelicateturtle, red2sposts, ravenstarsblog, violetcloudsworld, pleasantbarbarianfire, makofan and now lightningemperorsworld). Let’s not forget the multiple anons and the [email protected] and the [email protected]. Still, reporting to tumblr and see if they have ways to check it’s you and see what they can do about it, not off the table.

Here’s my suggestion: you stop harassing the BB community (the entire community, not just me) and I let bygones be bygones.

Or maybe, I inform your community (yes, I have also saved the usernames of the people you are constantly asking to bring down our posts because you can’t do it yourself – to be fair, neither can they) and let them know what you’ve been up to and how you’ve been using them to harass us. Unless of course, they already know, but they’re garbage so they don’t care. I may be willing to take a shot and find out.

Oh, and you can stop with the nonsense of being offended because I called you out on your homophobia. You don’t want to be called out on it, then stop being homophobic. For starters, stop harassing real LGBTQ+ people because your fictional straight ship didn’t become canon.

If most saw it coming and you didn’t, then the writers didn’t fail, you did. Also, the hints didn’t begin mid-series, they have been there since the red fucking trailer. By the end of V3, a good chunk of the audience had called it. By the end of V6, almost no one thought BB wasn’t going to be endgame.

You are one of the few exceptions. If that doesn’t scream volumes to you about your lack of understanding of storytelling/how much you live in denial, then nothing will. Live in “I’m right and everyone else is wrong” for as long as you want, but don’t ever bother me or anyone else ever again.

For the sake of honesty, I will say that I do not know if @megashadowdragon is the one behind the harassment of several BBers. I know with almost certainty they are behind mine, but I cannot be sure they have other victims since the patterns aren’t the same (at least, not the victims I know of). This been said, add them to the list of suspects.

I suppose I thank you for not being a complete asshole to me for the last 2,5 years, when I actually wrote the post that has you screeching for months. And now I say fuck you for being a complete asshole to me for the last 4 months because of a goddamn ship. Yet you have the fucking gall to pretend we are the toxic ones.

TLDR: act your age (which you claimed is late 20s), and stop harassing people over a ship. No one owes it to you to pretend they did not see BB coming just because you didn’t. No one gives a shit about what you ship. Ship whatever you want as much as you want. Want to have an entire tumblr page just for BS? Go right ahead. What you cannot do is force your garbage ship down someone else’s throat.

#bumbleby #bmblb #harassment #found the culprit #rwby #shipping discourse #yang x blake #blake x yang #lgbtq #stop living up to your initials bsers #lgbt in fiction #lgbt couples

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butch-reidentified · 2 years

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Hey, Since you want to abolish gender, what’s your opinion on the concept of ”gender identity”? As in, an internal feeling of being a woman/man despite physical body. Do you think it exists, or do you think that trans are people not genuinely men/women but are rather just females/males with sex dysphoria? Like, do you not regard them as the gender they ”identify” as? And if not, do you still respect their pronouns and identity even if you do not believe in it?

Hey anon, sorry it takes me so long to get to asks. I want to answer them only when I have time and energy and a fairly clear mind, but unfortunately that isn't often. I don't believe in gender identity, as gender is fundamentally something people made up and not something we are born with. Every single difference between male and female people beyond our physical bodies is totally made up by human beings.

That said, I absolutely believe in sex dysphoria as a neurological condition and am working on research into a neurological model of sex dysphoria. I don't think everyone who expresses dysphoria has this neurological type, but I am pretty convinced at this point it exists. It is interesting, though anecdotal, that I and the majority of my friends with neurological conditions experience neurological sex dysphoria - by which I mean it's a *physical* feeling akin to phantom limb in a sense. I have phantom-like sensations where male genitals would be on my body, and the inverse of them when it comes to things like breasts.

I recall a study a while back which I haven't been able to find again recently which showed this phenomenon on fMRI. Female individuals with sex dysphoria touched "neutral" parts, and the brain processed it as one processes touching their own body. But when they touched their breasts, it was processed as one processes touching an external object, almost as if they were an accessory. This is how I felt exactly when I had breasts. It was physical, not mental, discomfort. I didn't care about their size or appearance or whether I LOOKED like I had a flat chest or not. They just FELT like someone had attached a prosthetic to me in my sleep and I couldn't remove it. Annoying, sure, but not much emotionally beyond that. But physically very uncomfortable and felt like not part of my actual body. I constantly accidentally bumped or injured my breasts because my brain wouldn't process them as present at all times.

However, I've also met trans people who very obviously internalized messages as a child meant for the other natal sex. Trans women who have always exhibited deep female socialization, and trans men with male socialization. Those I've met seem to lack the majority of the socialization of their natal sex as well. These people are very rare in my experience, but they do exist. I've known a couple of them well enough to be unable to deny it. This suggests to me that in such cases, there may be some unconscious aspect even as a child that involves a self-perception as the opposite sex, and thus the child surrounds themselves with opposite-natal-sex adult role models as well as friends and peers. The socialization intended for them doesn't seem to truly "stick," but the socialization not intended for them largely does.

To this extent, I think some nuance is warranted when it comes to differentiating sex and "gender" (though I'd prefer to ditch that term as this really isn't what it means, and create a new term instead). I don't view all trans women as entirely men, though certainly many of them - those who are misogynistic and entitled and fetishistic and obviously male socialized, for example. I recognize all trans women as male and all trans men as female, but I also do see some as "just/only" their natal sex, whereas others, like those I described above, I place more into their own category. Trans women who aren't men in my mind are simply trans women. Their own unique category, which I feel is necessary. They tend to be some degree of anti-gender, and fervently supportive of the women's rights issues they have grown up seeing cause harm to all their role models and closest peers.

I do refer to these individuals as she, and as women in a less literal sense (especially if we are in the company of people unaware the individual is trans). But to me, man and woman should just refer to our sex, so I prefer to simply say they are trans women - and many I know are gender critical themselves and also prefer to just be called trans women. The former category, the clearly male socialized, it's more case by case. As long as they're respectful and good to women, and not a jackass or fetishist, I'm pretty flexible on pronouns. I do use he in certain cases, and sometimes they if I'm not quite comfortable using "she" but do feel that the person's behavior warrants respect.

It's also a matter of perception to a degree. If someone looks or behaves aggressively male, I simply can't get my brain to think "she." But there are definitely trans women I've known where I can't get my brain to call them "he" as well.

I know this is super duper long, and please feel free to ask for clarity if needed. I can get so in my head and not communicate clearly/coherently at times, but I've enjoyed thinking through this and writing it out.

#ask #mine #gender ideology #gender identity #sex dysphoria #trans identity

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takadachanfansofficial · 3 years

Text

Why I don't think Yuki is the traitor

i personally don't think the whole "yuki is a traitor" theory makes a whole lot of sense for two reasons

1) she has no motive to ally with kenjaku

as we've learned in the recent chapters, kenjaku plans to force the evolution of humans throughout japan and culling games is his way of doing so. he wants to push cursed energy to its highest potential. yuki, however, believes in forgoing cursed energy altogether. she recognizes cursed energy as the root of the problem. to eliminate curses, you have to break free from cursed energy entirely

yuki and kenjakus goals are in direct opposition to one another. (also note the visual contrast here, yuki surrounded by white and kenjaku in black)

not to mention she literally despises him. remember what she says when its first revealed who kenjaku is

what does she stand to gain by allying with someone she hates and whose goals are the exact opposite of hers?

2) she's never been loyal to the school in the first place and i find it hard to believe she would have access to the kind of information the traitor would have

we know that the traitor has to be someone who is pretty high ranked, well trusted, and has access to confidential information. yuki, although a special grade, doesn't fit that criteria. from the beginning she's never been on anyone's side but her own.

while she may not hate the school she doesn't hide the her dislike of the system. its clear she doesn't get along with the higher ups. the way i see it is if i was a higher up of jujutsu society, yuki tsukumo is one of the last people i would trust with top secret information. yuki is definitely one of the more morally gray characters but that doesn't necessarily make her a villain or a traitor

anyways those are just my thoughts on it, id love to hear what you guys think 🙏🏽

#jujustu kaisen #jjk theory #yuki tsukumo #kenjaku #my posts #first theory kinda post 🚶‍♀️#i wanna do more of these in the future

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cordytriestowrite · 3 years

Note

A possible prompt could be Victorian Era Loki? I don't know, that was the first thing that came to my head, apologies if that isn't helpful 😅

Oh my god this was actually so helpful! Taking me out of my comfort zone and racing against my dying battery I managed to actually write something! I hope you enjoy!

Rumors

Loki x Reader

One Shot

In Asgard, people talk.

It was compulsory amongst the small populace to spread rumors, happening as frequently as commenting on the weather. Every family had a moment of gossiping noteworthiness, and no one person was immune, not even the Odinsons.

"I hear he sends letters to a young lady in Midgard."

They say about Thor as the gaggle of busybodies observe the man in question between the moving bodies of dancing, whispering couples. It was Thor's party and it had been the subject on everyone's lips after obligatory pleasantries. You had heard this fact one hundred times and in one hundred different ways.

"I hear she's a scientist."

You had heard that bit too.

"Well, I hear he almost refused his father's inheritance for her."

Nothing about this conversation was new to you, and yet you couldn't escape it. You could see everyone's lips moving, making the same words over and over again. They made you dizzy, made it hard to breathe.

"Excuse me." You offered out of a requirement of decorum, but didn't actually wait for anyone to acknowledge you before slipping away.

Thor's party was supposed to be a mid-afternoon garden party, but the weather had turned nasty the day before and the grounds were still soft and damp keeping the party-goers packed inside. The sky was a slate grey wall of mauldin clouds and the air was sticky with rain but it was thankfully silent and thus preferable to being warm and dry inside.

But silent did not mean you were alone. Somehow amongst the dancing and schmoozing and gossiping the youngest Odinson had managed to slip away as you did. There was a cool nod from him, then an answering curtsy from you, and then more silence.

It was so rare to be in the company of another and not speak, maybe that's why you felt the need to fill the silence with the very dribble you had been escaping.

"I heard your father didn't even consider you for this inheritance."

If Loki was hurt by the rumor he did not display it openly. He simply raised an eyebrow and glanced out across the lawn.

"Why would a man pass his legacy on to a son that is not his own?"

Now that was news to you and you could not hide your shock. Loki Odinson was not a son of Odin? This fact came so easily to Loki. How could no one else have made any uttering of this claim; true or false?

"Ah, so that hasn't made its way out to the masses yet then?"

You shook your head, suddenly wishing you had kept your mouth shut. You would rather an awkward air lay between you than the weight of what you now knew.

Loki's demeanor changed entirely, as had yours. He was now facing you full, eyes roving your face and he indulged in reading your thoughts through your eyes. He wore a small smirk that only grew when he spoke again.

"So what rumors have you heard about me then, darling?"

Placing his hands behind his back he stepped closer to you then began to circle you slowly. You felt dizzy all over again and no amount of deep breathing slowed your racing heart.

"Or should I be asking what rumors about me you have spread yourself."

"No." You denied swiftly. Wanting to stamp down any impression Loki had that you were the cause of any hearsay. You thought you heard him chuckle, but it was so breathy that it may have just been a breeze on the back of your neck.

"Tell me."

"I heard you weren't considered for Odin's inheritance…"

It was a cheap way to stall considering it was the same rumor that put you where you were now, but you needed to borrow time to consider yourself. This was Loki's home, his brother's party, where you were a guest, and this wasn't idle gossip between uninvolved parties. This was looking Loki in the eye and repeating every word you had heard about him. Oftentimes rumors were not flattering or tame. What you could say here could have you removed from the party or worse.

"Yes, you've said this one before. What else?"

He was standing directly in front of you now. No longer circling like a vulture over a slowly dying animal. There was amusement on his face, pleasure in making you uncomfortable, and it was enough to urge you into speaking. With a deep breath and a hard gaze you looked him in the eye and began to repeat.

"I heard you cling to your mother's skirts like a child."

Loki simply shrugged.

"I love my mother. As we all should. What else?"

"I heard you almost got your brother killed."

Loki laughed openly, but briefly, like a memory came and went simultaneously.

"Thor is perfectly capable of doing that himself. What else?"

"I heard you practice...dark arts?"

This was a rumor even you didn't believe, but Loki kept asking and you felt compelled to keep giving information.

"I see nothing wrong with reading about other religions or practices. What else?"

You stumbled for a moment, overloaded with new information about Loki. For all you had heard of him you realized you never truly knew him, that you had never truly spoken to him until now. Is this all it took to know if gossip was true or not? Was it as simple as asking the person in question? Or was it only simple because of who you were asking?

"I heard you were a liar with a silver tongue."

"I assure you my lady my tongue is but muscle and blood."

When had he gotten so close, crossing the line of what was appropriate of two single members of the opposite sex? If anyone were to join them outside or peak through a window the whole party would know within the hour. The threat to your reputation forced you to take a blind step back.

"Anything else?" He probed.

Loki was offering you an escape, had recognized a line was crossed perhaps, or maybe had just grown bored of the conversation, but you weren't bored and you weren't uncomfortable. You felt exhilarated and oddly free in this exchange. Plus, there was one more rumor the fluttering in your heart begged you to repeat and hear the truth for.

"I heard you...keep the company of men and women. Married and unmarried. I heard you-"

You hadn't realized you had taken another step back until the damp dirt below your heel set you off balance. Fighting the heat in your cheeks you accepted Loki's outstretched hand and allowed him to guide you back onto solid stone, only he did not let go of your hand once you were steady.

"I believe you have found a rumor more exciting than the truth."

You looked at Loki then, felt his fingers hold your hand gently, thought about how he had chosen those words more carefully than any other, how he had for once deflected from answering. You needed him to answer.

"And what is the truth?"

Before your eyes Loki reverted back to staring at some far point beyond away from your gaze, the corners of his lips landing in a natural frown. It was now your turn to offer a graceful exit from this conversation. You pulled your hand gently from his. Loki's eyes met yours almost instantly, as if some part of you had to connect to him.

"The truth is, for me, whether man or woman, attraction arises from truly knowing someone and letting them know you in return."

He extended his hand to you again and without hesitation you offered your own. He bent low, meeting the back of your hand with his lips. Warmth spread through your body from the appendage, making your own lips tingle and when his eyes met yours just above your hand your breath caught in your throat.

"It was a pleasure getting to know you, my lady."

Tag list

@bluediamond007 @kybaeza @myownviperroom @arch-venus25 @instantnoodlese @bambamwolf87 @dyanlzbb @sebstanhun @thoughtfullhuman @sbluehi @fanfictionrecommendations-com @spacezombiie @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen @titty-teetee @alt-er-love-er-alt @bornfortherainydays @venitia89 @always-irrelevant @darkphoenixrisingwrites @drakesfiance @katzenwahnsinn @mywinterwolf @kcd15 @somewereinthegalaxi @justalilsad5 @becs-bunker @reading--mermaid @reviewfanfics @iamverity @evolving2deppression @darlingtholland @700teacups @lovemesomepietro @lyka-k @dark-angel-is-back

#loki #loki of asgard #loki fanfiction #loki fiction #loki odinson #loki fluff #loki imagine #loki au #victorian loki #mcu #mcu loki #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x oc #loki x y/n #loki one shot

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haleigh-sloth · 3 years

Note

Hello,

I just found your page and after reading some of your mha posts had a couple things I wanted to ask if that's ok.

1. Since you feel Hawks is not justified because he could have chosen options other than killing Twice, do you think he would have been had he genuinely been made to choose between killing him and saving others? I.e. do you think it's just this killing in particular that was not justified and thus murder, or do you think heroes killing can never be justified, even if in self-defense or defense of others? If we take the "Heroes save people" maxim to its limits, it might be reasonable to argue for a deontological approach to ethics rather than a utilitarian one, so that killing one to save others is not justified because you actively break your code (as opposed to risking not being able to save others, which would be considered a lesser moral wrong under this mindset).

2. This might very well be a stupid question, but if we consider that heroes shouldn't treat others as an it and put them down for the "sake of society", do you feel this ought to extend to AFO too? I really don't mean to use this as a gotcha moment or anything like it, but I feel like if MHA is trying to move away from a punitive justice system in favour of a rehabilitative/restorative one, we ought to consider where people like AFO fall into this system as well. AFO is seemingly entirely unlike any of the other villains in the show, but if we judge that he deserves a different fate for this it also feels like playing into the "Some people just can't be saved" notion that's been perpetuated by hero society. It is of course entirely possible, if not likely, that he'll fall in battle, or that Shigaraki himself will kill him eventually, but I feel like that skirts the issue rather than answer it. As someone who does not seem to show any remorse, desire or even ability to be saved, and in fact feels rather inhuman, what should a reformed society even do with him? Even if we could convincingly argue him to be fundamentally different and thus deserving of punishment, it is much easier for us readers who have more information to make this call, rather than in-universe characters whose judgement will inevitably be based on something less than the full truth. So even if AFO's case in particular was easily answered, it would set a precedent for cases that may appear similar, but in truth be less clear cut. Basically, I believe you feel the villain league deserves another chance because they were victims of their circumstances, and thus not necessarily beyond salvation, because they never knew normality to begin with, but what about those who were not victims, those who by their nature have insurmountable trouble fitting into a peaceful society? Perhaps it's just my mistaken assumption that such people exist and I'm reading AFO wrong, or perhaps it's the opposite and I'm giving people like AFO undue consideration, or perhaps my assumption that AFO ought to be treated as a person rather than a carocature, a symbol, is flawed to begin with, but I just really don't think a manga that wants to argue that villains are people too should go "but here's THIS vile piece of shit, let's kill him!". Am I making sense here?

3. On another note, what do you think of Endeavor's recent speech and general recent development? I've seen some people who were upset by his "Would it fix everything if we showed you our tears" line, but rather than him being dismissive or callous I just see it as him awkwardly saying that he doesn't think anything other than actions can help him atone for what he did. He's still got a lot to work through, but him recognizing that he's got something to atone for and freely talking about what he did to his family is, as I find, certainly a huge step in the right direction.

WHOO hey! Sorry for taking a while to respond. You gave me some really well thought-out questions and I wanted to return the favor with well thought-out answers. Also I was heckin busy yesterday when you sent this. So, here we go:

To answer this question about Hawks, I first need to clarify what it means to be a hero in the eyes of the story that is BNHA:

This honestly doesn’t even make a dent in the amount of panels in BNHA that reiterate time and time again that heroes SAVE people, but I don’t feel like I should have to spend too much time looking for them, these I used above should suffice. The one with baby Midoriya and baby Tenko doesn’t even have any words in the panel, and it’s still powerful enough to get the message across. And make me cry.

Almost every story has its own “heroes” in it. And every story’s definition of a hero is different. In Marvel and DC superhero comics and movies, the heroes usually end up killing the villains, yes? I can’t say I’m familiar with these stories because they aren’t interesting to me in the slightest, but from the ones I HAVE seen, the final boss at the end dies. But all of the heroes get to keep their title of “hero”. That’s not really the standard we have in BNHA.

“Do you think it's just this killing in particular that was not justified and thus murder, or do you think heroes killing can never be justified, even if in self-defense or defense of others?”

So this is a fair point and I feel that the best way to answer this is by asking what you consider self defense? Say Hawks is at home mad chillin and not prepared for a fight in the slightest, and somebody breaks into his house and starts trying to hurt/kill him. He’s unprepared and at this point just trying to keep himself alive. If he ends up killing the guy, is he wrong? In my opinion, no. In real life this happens to people, and they aren’t considered murderers, as they shouldn’t be. To me, self defense is a situation where:

It’s either you or me. It’s one or the other.

I think it’s fair to say what happened with Hawks and Twice was absolutely NOT self defense. I’m not going to go into detail about how deciding to kill Twice was absolutely 100% premeditated, because there’s a wonderful post by someone else that already explains that in great detail here. But I’ll end this thought by saying that Hawks was not committing an act of self defense.

Nothing about this says “self-defense” to me.

“If we take the "Heroes save people" maxim to its limits, it might be reasonable to argue for a deontological approach to ethics rather than a utilitarian one, so that killing one to save others is not justified because you actively break your code (as opposed to risking not being able to save others, which would be considered a lesser moral wrong under this mindset).”

To make it simple for some people to understand these terms:

“Utilitarianism is an ethical theory that determines right from wrong by focusing on OUTCOMES.“ In a nutshell, utilitarian ethics means you make a decision based on how it will affect everything else.

“In moral philosophy, deontological ethics or deontology is the normative ethical theory that the morality of an action should be based on whether that action itself is right or wrong under a series of rules, rather than based on the consequences of the action.” In a nutshell, deontological ethics means you make a decision based on whether it follows rules or not.

So this is a complicated question, and my answer to this is....both? Throughout BNHA we’ve had this dilemma over and over again:

Break the rules and save the day? Or follow the rules and possibly suffer the consequences? Well, BNHA just says “Yes” lol. Do both. Break the rules and save the day. Make a decision based on the consequences of said decision, but also try to follow the rules as best as you can. Even in reality, people do this to get through life. You really can’t live life under a strict utilitarian approach or a strict deontological approach. If Midoriya hadn’t persisted against his classmates and the law to go save Bakugo, he WOULD have gotten kidnapped AGAIN. They were actively trying to take him with them. If Midoriya didn’t break the rules to save Kota, Kota would have straight up DIED. Muscular was actively trying to kill Kota, not to mention Kota had zero ways of defending himself. But here’s where I don’t think this is a fair comparison:

Hawks claims his killing of Twice was to save others. I don’t completely disagree with this logic, if the situation was more dire and dangerous for Hawks. The league was taking peoples’ lives. Somebody had to do something. The problem is that Twice was RUNNING AWAY when Hawks killed him. Twice wasn’t fighting Hawks back, he wasn’t endangering Hawks himself. Hawks stabbed him in the back. AND Hawks had Dabi to worry about, who was actively trying to attack Hawks. But Hawks chose to murder Twice instead of fending off Dabi. And if you refer back to the post I linked above about how it was a premeditated decision to kill Twice, you’ll see that Hawks had the capability of knocking Twice unconscious. He should have done this from the get go. And honestly? There are other heroes who could have captured Twice. There SHOULD have been other heroes to capture Twice. If Hawks was the only hope for the heroes in that war then jeez, the heroes suck at their jobs.

So TLDR for this question: Hawks’s circumstances were not drastic enough for him to be justified in killing Twice. As I said above, self-defense is one thing, where yes I could understand how if a life is lost while defending oneself is probably inevitable in some cases. But this wasn’t self defense. Twice was running away. Hawks should also be able to rely on his hero comrades to help him out.

Instead Hawks chose to be law-enforcement, judge, and executioner all in one moment.

I hope this answers your question? I tried my best. If I misunderstood or missed a talking point, feel free to shoot me a message or another ask.

Next question:

Believe me. I have thought about this! What about AFO? He’s human too isn’t he? You have a point. Should the restorative justice system extend to AFO? I would say yes. If I’m going to stick to my guns that the villains deserve restorative justice and not punitive justice, I should be fair and say it should extend to all villains.

The problem is not in the idea of exploring saving AFO, it’s just that there simply isn’t enough time to explore this in the story. If Horikoshi had said “I’m not going anywhere guys! We’re in this for the long haul!” I’d say it’s possible to explore that route. We don’t know anything about AFO except from what we’ve seen on screen, and what we’ve been told by All Might and the other OFA holders. Which still isn’t much to go on. You’re not giving AFO undue consideration. It’s definitely a deserved consideration. There are people in the story (and the real world) who may not be victimized in any way and end up being villains. Do they deserve a chance? I’d say yes. It’s in my nature as a social worker irl to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance to learn. You’re right that in the end, the league being saved and the characters not considering what could have led AFO to villainy is just “skirting around the problem.” And honestly, that’s probably what we’re going to get. I wouldn’t be surprised for the thought to pass in Midoriya’s head. After saving somebody like Shigaraki, who everybody in the story (and many readers) considered to be “too far gone”, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Midoriya entertained the thought for a brief moment. “What could have saved AFO from himself?” So honestly I don’t have an answer to this question that qualifies both sides. I can’t say that AFO is “too far gone” without undermining that fact that I never believed Shigaraki was “too far gone”, simply because we don’t get to decide what “too far gone” is. All I can say is that in the eyes of the story, there are far too many differences between AFO’s circumstances and Shigaraki’s circumstances to compare the two, and say they deserve the same type of sympathy from us readers.

Truly I have no sympathy for AFO, because the story doesn’t ask for it. The story wants sympathy for Shigaraki, Toga, Touya, Spinner, and even a tiiiiiny bit for Overhaul. It asks for NONE for AFO.

Another post I’ll link here that isn’t by me but by another awesome meta blogger (@hamliet) is this.

In a nutshell it says:

It’s not that AFO can’t be saved, it’s that he won’t. That’s the best answer I can give to that question honestly.

As for the third question:

That press conference was just...eh. I mean yeah, Endeavor not denying the allegations was good. Not that he really could anyway. It sucks for the rest of his family though. But at the same time Touya deserved his revenge, even though it was at the expense of his siblings and mother. It sucks, it’s a double edged sword because somebody is hurting no matter what was gonna happen. Endeavor was an asshole to that lady but I don’t really care too much. I’m really torn on what I think is going on inside Enji’s head because the Todofam is either extremely dense, or Horikoshi is writing their dialogue extremely vague on purpose to keep reader’s on the edge of their seats regarding what they want to do about Touya. I really don’t know. I’m not thrilled with the way the Todofam plot is being written right now, even though I’m 100% sure Touya is going to get his happy ending. But right now anything to do with the Todofam that isn’t Shoto and Touya just bothers me. I don’t think Enji really understands yet what he has to do for Touya. Yes he recognizes that he has to atone, but he’s not recognizing HOW he has to atone. Right now he’s still stuck in that “I have to be a hero to absolve my crimes against my family” headspace and I don’t think he’s going to get out of that headspace until he comes face to face with his son and realizes that he can’t just fight villains and go home to a happy family that he terrorized for 20 years. He’s going to have to let his family go, let them decide when to let him back in, if they ever do (I think they will just because of the way the story is being written.) As a reader, Enji is just a character that I cannot vibe with, no matter what happens. I definitely appreciate his role in the story. His role is vital to Touya’s saving and redemption. Touya is in my top 3 favorite characters from this series and I’m emotionally invested. So while I appreciated Enji’s role in the story, I don’t like his character or anything to do with him, at least until it comes time to help save his son. Also the trio of Hawks, Best Jeanist, and Enji just gives me major back the blue vibes and I just can’t read their chapters and be in a good mood lol.

Thank you for the ask! I hope I answered everything! This was fun to answer!

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oldfritz · 3 years

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I'm genuinely curious and don't want to start something! Just wanted to ask what you make of the 'Old Fritz might've been asexual' take, I don't know much about him and I feel you're one of the best people to ask esp since you lean towards 'he was probably queer in some way' too

Hey there! So, first off, don’t ever worry about me interpreting you asking me a question as starting something. As much as I love making dumb jokes about the guy, I love nothing more than doing this kind of stuff and defending or explaining my points. There’s two degrees I want to get over the next decade: first my JD and then my MA in Prussian history. I live for this stuff! Always have! Second off, I’m very sorry for not getting to this sooner. Things have been incredibly stressful for me for a variety of different reasons which have made answering your question, until now, rather difficult. Putting this under a cut because, holy shit, it got long!

My personal reasoning for why I think he’s bi (which, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m assuming is what you meant instead of ace and could be a different post entirely since some historians have tried to argue that) stems more to do with some of my lingering questions about the nature of his relationships with certain woman, rather than that of his relationships with men. To me and my modern, queer eye, Fritz’s relationships with men like Hans Hermann von Katte, Francisco Algarotti, Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf, and (much to my personal vexation) one Monsieur Voltaire are either outright homosexual/homoerotic in nature or very, very easily lend themselves to that interpretation rather than strictly romantic friendships (which Wikipedia does a fairly good overview of and, if you’re coming to me from AmRev perspective, uses Hamilton and Laurens’ relationship as a familiar example). While I’m avoiding those relationships in this ask, I’d be more than happy to elaborate upon one/all of them in a different one.

Before I go into the big pauses that Fritz’s relationships with Madame von Wreech and Countess Orzelska give me, I want to deny the use of Fritz’s wife as an example of Fritz’s attraction to woman. While this, admittedly, may sound odd, we have ample evidence of how turned off and repulsed Fritz found Elisabeth Christine. Before he had even met her, Fritz was complaining about how she was ‘not very pretty, speaks but little, and acts like a blockhead’ (Asprey, 87) and, later, admitted to Grumbkow his plan to ‘keep my word,...get married, but afterwards it will be a case of that is that, and goodbye, Madame, and fare thee well’ (Jones, 52). For Christ’s sake, the man pitied her knowing how his treatment would leave her as ‘one more unhappy princess in the world’! Which is little consolation when you remember he also referred to her with such romantic terms as ‘this unpleasant creature,’ ‘the abominable object of my desires,’ ‘the person,’ and claimed to have preferred to marry ‘the biggest whore in Berlin’ (Asprey, 87). And while we (fortunately? unfortunately?) know quite a bit about their sex life, Fritz largely regarded it as just another duty - to quote him, ‘I will only have the duty to fuck’ (Ibid, 87). And while Seckendorf heard - first, presumably from Count von der Schulenburg and, later on, Count Friedrich von Wartensleben, a close and intimate friend of the then-crown prince - that Fritz would ‘fuck and refuck’ Elisabeth Christine and that said act occurred in the afternoon, it still was out of a sense of obligation (Bely, 481-2). When reminded that if he wanted more money for frivolities, he’d need to produce an heir, Fritz bemoaned that he ‘cannot sleep with my wife out of desire, and when I do sleep with her, I do it out of duty rather than inclination’ (Clark, 50). All this in accumulation, as well as the myriad of other quotes and incidents I’ve left out, makes one wonder why his relationship with Elisabeth Christine is sometimes used by historians to prove any sort of heterosexual impulse in the man when she’s the woman with the weakest supports for that argument.

That being said, now we get to the women with a more muddled places in his romantic escapades, if you will. What exactly happened between Orzelska and Fritz during his trip with his father to Dresden in 1728? The main source for everything that occurred during this trip is Wilhelmina, who didn’t attend and without anything about this specific incident coming from Fritz or Friedrich Wilhelm I, make it rather hard to use as concrete, irrefutable proof. Now, if her recollections were contemporaneous - like coming from a diary or journal she kept at the time - that would be one thing. But it comes from her memoirs which, while a delightful read 10/10 recommend, are written decades after this trip took place and, memory being a finicky thing, can’t be taken to the bank. All those disclaimers, here’s the story as told by her:

‘One evening...,the King of Poland [note: Augustus II] insensibly led the King of Prussia to a very richly decorated room...The King of Prussia, delighted with what he saw, stopped to contemplate all its beauties, when [all of] a sudden a tapestry was rolled up, which procured him a very novel sight. It was a lovely female in a state of nudity [note: Countess Orzelska, the Polish king’s daughter], carelessly reclined on a couch. Her beauty excelled that of the finest pictures of Venus and the Graces; her body seemed of ivory, whiter than snow, and better shaped than that of the Venus de Medicis at Florence.

...Scarcely had the King cast his eyes on the fair one, than he turned about with indignation; and seeing my brother behind him, he rudely pushed him out of the room, and left it immediately after in a violent irritation against the trickery they had attempted to practice on him. ...In spite of the King’s vigilance, [Frederick] had had time to contemplate the Venus of the closet, who did not cause him so much horror as she had done to his father. (Wilhelmina’s Memoirs, vol. 1, 107-6)

Wilhelmina then goes on to claim Fritz had fallen ‘passionately in love’ with Orzelska and that the illness Fritz experienced upon returning home was simply being lovesick. Pinning the accuracy of this story is incredibly difficult because, again, we have only one source relayed decades after the fact and from two volumes of memoirs known to have inaccuracies. While I, personally, would love if he had had a tryst with Orzelska (who is such a badass in her own right and deserves more recognition than as a footnote in this guy’s story), there’s no one way to say with more than 30% confidence. I am inclined to believe something along these lines happened because if someone told me a story like this, lord knows I wouldn’t forget it for the rest of my life. And, with Wilhelmina being so close with her brother, it lends a bit more credence but as to the actual emotional or physical response Fritz had to it, well, without my time machine, I can’t and don’t want to say.

With Madame Eleonore-Louise von Wreech, things are a little more concrete. For starters, Fritz actually talked about her! In written correspondence that survived! We even have seven letters between the two of them that survived, which is a bigger win! As Blanning says, they’re ‘ardent but light in tone, ironic, almost flippant, and highly stylized’ (Blanning, 58). Their relationship was known to those close with Fritz at the time that Schulenberg felt compelled to visit and warn the crown prince against devoting himself to women because ‘the slight pleasures gained cause a million displeasures.’ Fritz’s response? To tell the poor guy that he may have ‘the gift of continence, but I assure you that I do not’ (Asprey, 83-4). Firtz even went so far as to send a letter to her mother, waxing poetic about Louise’s ‘beauty, her majestic air, her bearing, and her entire department.’ It’s worth noting that Louise eventually broke off the affair due to being bored by how he ‘loved [her] too much and often annoyed [her] with his clumsy love’ (Ibid, 84). Contemporaries, including Friedrich Wilhelm, believed Fritz had impregnated her with a daughter who her ‘cuckolded husband would refuse to recognize’ (Blanning, 58). Blanning is the only source I’ve seen dispute this due to this news coming from Seckendorf, who didn’t reveal how he came about this information; that Fritz and Madame von Wreech’s correspondence doesn’t indicate a physical relationship; and on the fact that she was not pregnant. I haven’t been able to find the birth dates or any sort of records for Louise’s two daughters to figure out where their conception could’ve been in the timeline and if it matches with the likely dates for the affair, but I also don’t have the resources Cambridge would afford Blanning. Either way, while the physical nature of the affair is in dispute, the emotional aspect certainly was there. Especially when taking into consideration the fact that she’s the woman Fritz was likely referring to in the 16 August 1737 letter to Voltaire where he claimed she had taught him how to love (and also inspired him to write poetry, which we shouldn’t be thankful for). Specifically, all these years later, he stated how ‘this little miracle of nature possessed every possible charm, together with good taste and delicacy. She sought to transfer these qualities to me. I succeeded well in love but poorly in poetry. Since that time I have very often been in love and have always been a poet’ (Fritz’s Oeuvres, vol. 21, 96).

All this to say, there’s a bit too much evidence of some degree of opposite-gender attraction in Fritz to completely write off the possibility that he could’ve been bisexual. While it’s undeniable he held a preference for men and that’s whose company he typically enjoyed, I still do find it interesting the two exceptions (one potential and the other with a fair degree of certainty) to this. And, while I would never want his attraction to men be minimized in favor of that to women, it still remains important to note to get the most comprehensive picture of the man.

#frederick the great #elisabeth christine #countess orzelska #madame von wreech #asks #anonymous

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thestupidhelmet · 3 years

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I don't know if someone asked this already but what do you think would have happened if Donna told Jackie about Kelso cheating? Also really love your writing ❤❤ have a nice day/night

Thank you! 😊

What happens in "Burning Down the House" (2x15) gives us a good idea what would've happened had Donna told Jackie the full truth.

JACKIE: Okay, so what is your honest opinion about Michael? DONNA: Um, by honest you mean …? JACKIE: Donna, please learn to listen. DONNA: Okay, fine. Honestly, you have certain expectations of Kelso that may not be entirely realistic. You want him to be sophisticated and smart, but actually he’s unsophisticated and unsmart. (...)

JACKIE [furious]: God, how dare you say that about me and Michael? DONNA: Jackie, you wanted my honest opinion. JACKIE: Your honest opinion that we’re great together. Look, you were wrong about Michael. He knows he made a mistake, and he’s going to make it up to me. You wait and see.

Jackie is in nearly complete denial about Kelso. She wants Donna to confirm / validate that Kelso is a good boyfriend and good for Jackie instead of validating Jackie's worst fears that the opposite is true.

Quite a few people hate on Donna for not telling Jackie about Kelso's cheating as soon as she learned about it in "Vanstock" (2x06). I believe that Donna, Eric, Hyde, and Fez should have told her collectively as a group, like an intervention. The responsibility did not solely lie on Donna's shoulders.

That being said, had Donna told Jackie the truth, that would've likely (temporarily) ended their friendship. Jackie would've chosen denial and Kelso over Donna('s friendship), unable to recognize that Donna cares about Jackie enough to risk her fury by telling her the painful truth. Jackie would've taken "revenge" on Donna at school and other ways for speaking such blasphemy.

Jackie's relationship with Kelso, unfortunately, is too important to Jackie's sense of identity and safety at this point in the show for anyone's words to convince her. Any truth she learns from friends either makes her angry, or she creates a positive spin on it so that Kelso comes out as a hero (see "Ski Trip" [1x13] and "Eric's Stash" [2x12] for prime examples of the latter). She needed to see the truth with her own eyes. That's what Hyde attempts to do by "laying traps left and right," but even that failed.

#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #Jackie x Kelso #Donna Pinciotti #Jackie Burkhart #Ask #Anon #My Essay #My Meta #Essay #Meta

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bi-rising · 3 years

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so the thing is. i've always been pro non-binary and i want to continue to be but i have been reading some stuff and i'm worried bc it kinda makes sense and ik it's a bad thing but god idk i need to hear your opinion. so there's this post of someone saying trans ppl wouldn't exist in an utopia where genders aren't a thing and someone else explained how that was wrong because of disphoria and then said "while yes, there would be a lot less nb ppl bc gender stereotypes are more their thing..." and it got me thinking bc i never really understood what nb is. i also saw other people say that nb and genderfluid don't make sense because they're not about gender, but stereotypes about masculinity and femeninity. and i think i agree? (what i hear most from nb ppl is that they don't feel like they fit in with society's ideas of man or woman, but as a somewhat masculine cis woman neither do i? or many others at least) because those things are societal, you can be a binary gender while not agreeing with societal gender norms, or gnc. and what confuses me further is that most nb ppl are gender aligned. i reason they're aligned to the gender that corresponds their sex? (i'm asking from the deepest pit of ignorance😅) but if they feel like they don't fit in the binary genders, how can they be aligned with masc of fem? i mean for example a nb person who's female by sex and is very femenine, wears makeup, long hair, basically doesn't look androgynous at all, are they really not a woman who doesn't agree with gender stereotypes? bc i also feel like a lot of people are treating nb as a quirky thing to use to get in the lgbt community (like they wanna be oppressed, for whatever reason). idk. i'm a bit lost (and drunk), gender discourse is quite complex...

you're right, gender discourse is incredibly complex, especially when so many people are ready to jump down your throat and cancel you and destroy your friendships regardless of your intentions and/or level of knowledge. therefore, i'm also going to speak carefully on this subject, bc i feel that nb discourse is rife with people foaming at the mouth to ask any questions at all so :^)

anyway, i've seen that post before, and i think i agree with you as well. binary trans people have a disorder. it's been proven that trans people's brains have the neural pathways and neural structural patterns of the gender opposite of their sex. therefore, even in a utopia without gender roles and stereotypes, they would still be trans. that's also why it's incredibly important to keep transgender as a medical acknowledgement, not just to force insurance to help pay for gender reaffirming surgeries and therapies, but also to acknowledge that it's a real, neurological occurrence--and hopefully gain more research and acceptance of it.

and because of that, i also am in the same boat as you, where it's likely that nb people would not exist in such a utopia, or if they did, it would be an extremely small amount, even smaller than it is currently. from what i've seen in the nb movement is a lot of push against gender roles and gender stereotypes; i would cautiously hazard a guess that there are two main reasons for people identifying as nb

1) they are gnc

2) they don't "feel" their gender, as they believe cis people do, and conflate lack of femininity/masculinity or a neutrality towards one's own body with having a different gender

i personally can't see anyone having nb dysphoria, simply because the science isn't there for it. the body has two setting--male or female (please note that intersex people are not being considered here, as their condition is a birth defect and not the creation of a third gender or a lack of gender). therefore, there are female and male hormones; female and male neural structures; female and male neural pathways. i don't believe that there is dysphoria associated with not having a gender or having a third gender outside the binary--HOWEVER. however, i believe that many things can be mistaken for nb dysphoria

for example, many binary trans people have had a stage wherein they identify as nb for awhile. it's like a stepping stone, from what i understand, between believing they're cis to understanding they're trans. there is also trauma, especially sexual trauma, that can cause a disconnect between one's own gender and themselves. internalized misogyny/misandry can also be a culprit, or simply not wishing to exist within the boxes that female and male stereotypes push people into. and lastly, there's also body dysmorphia, which can be difficult to recognize for what it is. of course, it may be a desire to simply "be different" than other people, especially for those that are online a lot and have been bombarded with "cis is bad" for years and years, but i would like to give people the benefit of the doubt first instead of jumping to conclusions like that

despite all of this, i do think it is important to respect nb people and be courteous and kind to them. this is just my own opinion, and i personally will never attack or dismiss a nb person. the only problem i will ever have is if a nb person uses neopronouns, and that's bc i am neurodivergent and believe that pronouns equal gender. then, though, i believe that's a separate problem entirely from being nb critical

#jupe's inbox #also pls drink some water!!#don't get too bad of a hangover adkfjasdf

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fallinnflower · 4 years

Text

perfect

s.coups x reader (fluff, part of the intimacy anthology project)

a/n: this fic is technically gender neutral but ends up leaning more towards being a fem!reader, mostly because it’s based loosely on my insecurities, just so y’all know!

warning: mentions of scars, anxiety, and implied mature content

For your entire life, you'd struggled with the idea of how people saw you.

When you were younger, people used to say you were pretty — but those same people criticized your every flaw. Once you became a teenager, especially, and acne became the new normal for your skin, even your parents didn't hesitate to point out the problems with you. It didn't take long for those problems to become all you could see, both when you looked in the mirror or just when you happened to let skin show.

Wearing makeup became necessary. But then blemishes began appearing on your back, and arms, and legs — and when they disappeared they left scars behind which were just as embarrassing, if not more so.

Simultaneously you were asked why you didn't think you were beautiful, and why your skin was so bad. Soon, baring your skin in even the most minimal ways felt like a struggle.

The thing is, you'd been seeing yourself imperfectly and scarred for so long that you had no perception of what other people may have seen in you. Did they look at you and only see flaws?

And, as most personal, introspective issues go, it affected your love life.

Being intimate was hard when you didn't want anyone to see you. When you had scars someone might feel when their hands were on your skin.

You'd had significant others in the past, some of which had pointed out your flaws to you, and very few of which you had managed to express your insecurities to. It always felt simultaneously too heavy and too petty to bring up to your partners, so you'd simply turn off the lights and opt to ignore your problems for as long as possible.

But nothing could stay hidden forever.

You'd been dating Seungcheol for well over two months when he finally expressed his desire to have you stay the night. Your journey from strangers to significant others had been something of a whirlwind, but the two of you had opted to take things slow once labels were involved.

He was a perfect boyfriend, a wholesome mix of responsible gentleman and soft baby that fit inexplicably well into your life. Any time you have him was enough, and any hesitation you showed was a boundary he respected.

For the past week, he'd been dropping hints that he wanted you to spend the night at his place after your typically Friday evening dates, and each time he did you found yourself freezing up. Seungcheol has never even seen you without makeup on, and while the thought of spending an evening with him was heavenly, the thought of him waking up beside an imperfect version of yourself was terrifying.

To you, Seungcheol seemed perfect. With his pretty doe eyes and his sweet smile and plump lips, it was almost hard to believe a person like him existed in the real world.

It made it all the more difficult for you to willingly bare yourself to him, in even the most minor ways. So for a solid week you dodged every hint he tried to drop as if they were bombs, desperate to hold onto this perfect facade for just a little bit longer, like clinging desperately to the last moments of a sweet dream in the morning light.

But Friday dawned nonetheless, and all through work all you could think about was how Seungcheol — sweet, handsome, considerate, perfect Seungcheol — would be waiting for you when you clocked out to take you to dinner. The mix of excitement and nervousness left you feeling giddy all day long, constantly getting up for more water or just to stretch your legs, unable to focus. How could you, when you hadn't seen him for a week?

How could you, when you were constantly trying to avoid the elephant that seemed to follow you into every room you entered?

Ten minutes before 5pm, you shed your blazer and went into the bathroom to fix your hair and makeup. You'd worn a simple black dress to work and shoved some more playful looking accessories into your bag that morning to spice up the look. Over the course of your career you'd learned how to go from corporate daytime to date night look with minimal changes quite expertly.

As you were fixing the clasp of your necklace, your phone buzzed on the countertop.

< waiting downstairs. no rush ☺️

You couldn't keep the smile off your face as you read Seungcheol's message. Even though he said not to rush, you still found yourself fixing the last strands of your hair that had slipped out of place and gathering your belongings from your desk at record speed.

"Have fun!" Your desk neighbor, Wendy, called after you. You tossed her a smile over your shoulder as you stepped into the elevator. On the short ride down, you couldn't help but bounce slightly, trying to expel some more of your nervous energy so you didn't just go sprinting straight into your boyfriend's arms.

It didn't work. The moment you caught sight of Seungcheol in the lobby, you couldn't seem to keep yourself walking at a normal pace — especially not when he caught sight of you and sent you that gummy smile of his, opening his arms in welcome.

His embrace was warm, and he pressed a welcoming kiss to the crown of your head before nuzzling his cheek against your hair.

"Hey," he murmured, and you giggled softly as you pulled back.

"Hey," you replied, eyes meeting his. He leaned down to press a quick, chaste kiss to your lips, but even that left you a blushing mess considering you were still in your office building.

"Cheol," you whined, but your boyfriend only chuckled and gently took your bag and blazer from you, offering his other hand for you to hold. You took it, although you continued to pout as he lead you out the door.

Once you'd both settled into the car, your extra things relegated to the backseat, you finally turned a curious gaze to him.

"So, what have you got planned?" The corners of Seungcheol's mouth immediately began to curl up into a grin, but he only glanced coolly at you before pulling away from the curb.

"It's a surprise."

"Still?" you asked, turning your body in your seat to face him. "We'll be there soon — why can't you just tell me?"

If anyone had told you even a few months ago that you'd be acting cutesy for your boyfriend, you'd probably have punched them. You'd never been the type to do aegyo unbidden, and yet your boyfriend seemed to bring it out in you without even trying. Usually he couldn't say no to your cuteness and vice versa, but this time he merely chuckled and placed a hand on your thigh just above your knee, giving it a squeeze.

"Patience, babe. Good things come to those who wait, you know," he teased, and you frowned.

"But I've been waiting all week."

"And in a few more minutes all that waiting will be worth it." As he rolled to a stop at a red light, he turned his gaze on you, hand still lingering on your leg. When his dark, intense gaze met yours, your throat seemed to go dry, the places where his skin met yours suddenly feeling fiery hot.

"You trust me, don't you?" You let out a defeated sigh and nodded. Seungcheol laughed again, eyes curving up into happy crescents as he gave your thigh another squeeze.

"Good girl," he said, softly, and although you rolled your eyes you found yourself acutely aware of the way his fingers gently brushed against your inner thigh before he removed his hand.

His actions quieted you down until you reached your destination. Your thoughts (and gaze) continued to drift back to him and his hands, swallowing hard. Since you and Seungcheol were taking things slow, you hadn't really been intimate — you'd had some heated make out sessions, but nothing below the belt so to speak — but that didn't mean you didn't want to be. If anything, it was actually starting to make you want it more.

Which was probably why you were so adamantly dodging any conversations about staying the night. If Seungcheol outright asked, you knew you'd probably say yes — and you didn't feel ready for the disappointment and shame you'd feel when he saw the real you. All your flaws and ugly parts that couldn't be hidden… How could any person as beautiful as him possibly see you as anything but the complete opposite?

Your downtrodden train of thought was interrupted by Seungcheol putting the car in park. When you looked out the window, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Recognize it?” Seungcheol asked playfully. You could tell without even looking at him that he was excited about this particular plan. And you knew why, barely able to tear your eyes away from the location long enough to thank him for holding the car door open for you.

“Of course,” you replied, taking hold of the hand he offered you. “This is where we had our first date.” You leaned into Seungcheol’s side. Your first date had consisted mostly of a long walk and dinner, which hadn’t really been planned. The two of you had simply spent so much of the day together that you found yourselves in need of a meal, and had ducked into the restaurant on a whim.

It had been nearing the end of winter then, but still cold — too cold for the outdoor seating to be open, which was unfortunate because all the online reviews you had seen raved about it. That space was at the back of the building, a rooftop terrace with a supposedly perfect view of the city. Looking at the space now, you could see the faint glow of strung-up lights down at the end of the alley between it and the neighboring building.

“Want to guess what the surprise is?” he asked, voice low and soft, like it was a secret for your ears only.

“Hm,” you hummed, tapping a finger against your chin, looking up at him as he grinned expectantly down at you. “We’re going to eat on the terrace?” His smile widened, his eyes nearly closing from its broadness.

Suddenly, the door to the restaurant opened, and one of the hosts peered curiously at the two of you. His face lit up when he noticed Seungcheol, and he quickly opened the door the rest of the way, beckoning you in,

“Mr. Choi, welcome. Right this way!” The two of you followed after him, giddy with excitement. He led you both to the back of the restaurant and up a staircase, away from the noise and crowd of the main dining room.

On the table with the best view of the city there was already a bottle of the same wine the two of you had had on your first date, and Seungcheol darted past the host to pull your chair out for you — just like he had done that night. You couldn’t help but giggle as the host took a polite step back, telling you your waiter would be with you shortly before disappearing.

As you looked around the terrace, with its twinkling golden lights and stunning view, you couldn’t help but notice that it was otherwise empty despite it being prime time, with the sunset only minutes away and the weather perfectly comfortable. You kept your gaze on the city as Seungcheol took his seat.

“It’s beautiful out here,” you said. “I’m surprised it isn’t more busy.” When you looked back at your boyfriend he seemed to be blushing slightly, and he ran a nervous hand through his hair.

“About that,” he said, looking up at you through his lashes. “I managed to get the whole patio reserved, just for us.”

You felt your heart skip a beat. Seungcheol let out a sheepish chuckle, and you reached across the table to take one of his hands in your own; he met you halfway, his nervousness melting away before your eyes.

“Do you like it?” he asked, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Like it? Cheol, I love it. It’s amazing.” All the tension left his shoulders as he sighed, smiling across the table at you in relief. His dark eyes reflected the fairy lights strung up around you, making them look like shards of the night sky as he gazed at you.

“It’s what you deserve,” he said. His tender expression warmed your heart, but before you could think of anything to say to express how you felt, the waiter suddenly appeared on the terrace with menus in hand.

“I was going to order ahead and fully recreate the first date,” Seungcheol whispered, leaning across the table as the waiter set the menus down. “But I remembered you said a lot of the things on the menu looked good, so I thought we could try something new.” You let go of his hand to take hold of your menu, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You really thought of everything, didn’t you?”

“I definitely tried,” he chuckled. The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you looked over your options, occasionally mentioning what sounded good to you until you both finally settled on your meals. You made sure to get different things so you could each sample each other’s meal — something which had become a regular part of your relationship.

As soon as the waiter had finished taking your orders and gone back downstairs, Seungcheol propped his chin in his hands and flashed you a cheeky smile.

“So,” he said. “What do you do for a living, Y/N?” You nearly choked on your water trying not to laugh at him, which quickly caused his innocent act to crumble.

“You already knew that on our first date,” you retorted, glaring playfully at him. He let out an exaggerated sigh, leaning back in his seat. You let your gaze trail down the column of his throat as he threw his head back in mock exasperation.

“I know. Do you have any idea how hard it was to think of what to say to you? I was so nervous.”

“You? Nervous?” you teased, taking a sip of your wine. Thinking back, you couldn’t recall a single time Seungcheol seemed to be at a loss for words with you — even when he was nervous, he could think of something to say. However, now he met your playful look with a serious one, though he was still smiling.

“Well, yeah,” he said, his dark gaze seeming to pin you in place as you set your wine glass down; you couldn’t even think of looking away. “Why wouldn’t I be nervous going on a date with someone as beautiful as you?”

You smiled, feeling genuinely touched by his words — though it didn’t take long for your anxieties to flare back up with the direction the conversation was going. Hurriedly, you took another gulp of wine, hoping he didn’t notice the sudden, slight tremor in your hands.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” you said. Then, after managing to soften your expression and calm yourself down a bit. “But good food always will.” Seungcheol laughed and lifted his glass to clink against yours. However, as he lowered his glass down to his lips, he hesitated. You raised a questioning brow, hesitating as well.

“What are we toasting to?” Seungcheol asked, wine glass still poised near his lips.

“I don’t know,” you replied, scrunching up your nose. “To us?”

You had half-expected Seungcheol to laugh your suggestion off, but instead his gummy smile reappeared, eyes practically glittering as they met yours across the table. He lifted the wine glass again slightly.

“To us,” he repeated, voice low and soft as velvet. You felt your cheeks warm as you both took a sip of your wine, and wondered if the alcohol was already hitting you or if Seungcheol had just managed to start affecting you that much.

Remembering what had occurred in the car, you felt your face grow hotter and took another sip of the wine, not quite ready to admit the truth of the situation even to yourself.

The rest of your dinner went off without a hitch. Seungcheol had managed to rope the waiter into taking a few photos of the two of you with the setting sun as your backdrop. Even though you had felt a bit embarrassed on the waiter’s behalf, you had to admit that the photos turned out beautifully — and it was just nice to have them. Most of your photos with Seungcheol were selfies.

Both of you left the restaurant in high spirits, filled with wine and good food. You had loosened up considerably after your silly toasting situation, and by the time the two of you had descended the stairs to get back in the car your cheeks hurt from smiling so much; your boyfriend seemed to be in a similar predicament, reaching for your hand and kissing the back of it. The two of you stepped onto the sidewalk laughing over something that had been said over the course of the evening.

However, the moment Seungcheol sat down in the driver's seat, he seemed to become tense. And in response, you found yourself tensing up, too. He buckled himself in and placed his hands on the wheel, but didn't move to shift the car out of park, merely sitting for a moment. You watched as he lightly drummed his fingers against the top of the wheel, only pulling your eyes away when he drew his hands back.

"Okay," he started, letting out a long breath. He unbuckled again and turned his body towards you. "I was kind of hinting at this all week and I don't know if you didn't notice, but, I really want you to spend the night. And if you don't want to, I'll drive you home right now, but— but I have an extra toothbrush because I bought a two-pack and you can borrow my clothes if you want, and my friend taught me this great pancake recipe—" Suddenly, he stopped himself short, sucking in a breath through his teeth. You felt as though the whole world outside the car had stopped, watching as your boyfriend's eyes darted down to his fidgeting hands.

"I just think we should talk about it. And I wanted to do that in person."

Your throat went dry again, but this time it felt more like choking. Just looking at Seungcheol you could see how genuine he was; how nervous, how hopeful, how loving, and while you knew it should have eased your mind your heart squeezed at the thought that you could lose all of that. Even though deep down you knew Seungcheol wouldn't be shallow enough to break up with you because of scars, you just wanted to seem perfect to him for a little longer... there was no harm in that, right?

And yet, looking at his uncertainty, you realized your dancing around the issue had hurt him. Or, at least, made him less confident.

You licked your lips and took a shaky breath, but you could only find the courage to start speaking when you weren't looking directly at him.

"Seungcheol," you started, and his gaze snapped up, searching your face. "I— I want to. Trust me, I do, I just… I'm scared." When you managed to glance up at him, you noticed that he looked both crestfallen and concerned. He inched towards you, gently taking your hands in his, offering you every possible out if you wanted it.

"What are you scared of, baby?" You realized as he said it, as you looked into his big, soulful eyes, that he thought you meant you were scared of him. Immediately you felt your stomach plummet, and you squeezed his hands in yours, swallowing hard.

"It's just— you haven't seen me without makeup or anything yet, and my skin," you cleared your throat, trying desperately to fight the way it was wavering, but you found it cracking and shrinking nonetheless. "It's not pretty. I don’t… I don’t like how I look, I don’t feel confident. So I’m scared you won’t want me anymore once you see what I really look like, a-and—” You paused, taking in a deep breath in an attempt to make your voice stop shaking, but it proved useless once you tried to continue,

“Things have been going so well and I don’t want to ruin anything between us… because I’m really falling for you, and it’s just… it’s just hard…”

The more you spoke, the closer you felt you were to crying, and so you closed your mouth tightly in fear of letting loose a sob instead of words. You'd had such a nice dinner, and all you could think was that you were ruining a perfectly romantic gesture with your tears. Suddenly, it felt as though your mind was running a mile a minute, straight into a scenario where Seungcheol left you and all your insecurities behind for someone with less baggage and more suited for him—

"Hey," he said, softly, halting your inner turmoil. "I'm scared, too." At that, you couldn't help but balk.

"What?" You blurted. Then, with more clarity, "I mean, why? You... there's no reason for you to be scared, honestly." Your thumbs ran gently along his knuckles and you followed the movement with your eyes, feeling sullen and guilty and a whole cocktail of emotions you desperately wished to expel. You let out a watery, humorless laugh,

"All my life," he started, voice soft. "I've compared myself to other people. I've always been, I don't know, soft-looking?” His lips pressed into a thin smile, but the corners of his mouth seemed unable to stay up for long. He cleared his throat, and you wondered if he was feeling as choked up as you were, voicing his insecurities,

“I tried so many diets and workout routines, and for a long time I was really pushing myself too hard. I'm still not always happy with how I look, but I'm healthy and I know that's what matters most."

Seungcheol gently squeezed your hands, and so you looked up at him, surprised to find his eyes shiny with unshed tears.

"I'm not the most fit person. I'm worried you won't like what you see, that you'll want someone more manly, but—" One of the tears finally fell, and you found yourself removing your hands from his grasp to take his face in them instead, gently wiping under his eyes. He closed them, letting out a shaky breath.

"I want you to know all of me. I want you to have all of me."

"Cheol." His name left you practically on a whimper, and suddenly you realized you were crying again. You leaned in and pressed a quick kiss against his lips, which he quickly reciprocated. Before you could get distracted you pulled back, resting your forehead against his,

"Abs or no abs — nothing's going to change how I feel about you."

"That's how I feel about you," he replied, hands coming to rest on your waist. You found yourself letting out a watery chuckle, and Seungcheol was quick to respond.

"What?"

"We're silly, aren't we?" Seungcheol hummed at your statement, leaning in to press another quick kiss to your lips.

"No," he said. "Your feelings, whatever they are, are important. Let's just be honest with each other from now on, even if we think it's silly." You nodded.

“And,” he continued. “Let’s try harder to see ourselves the way we see each other, okay?” He reached up for a moment, smoothing some of your hair behind your ear. His smile was so fond, his eyes so tender, and you found yourself practically melting into the leather seat.

“Deal,” you said, and Cheol grinned with his now-sparkling eyes.

“Good. Because I think you’re perfect.” You felt yourself blushing as he leaned in to kiss you, but with renewed confidence you chased after his lips as he pulled away, successfully stealing another. And another as you let your hands move behind his neck, threading your fingers through the hair at his nape. Seungcheol grippes at your hips more tightly, sighing into your mouth. You whined slightly as he pulled back, but Seungcheol was quick to distract you.

"So," he said, a smirk playing at his lips. "Now what do you think of spending a night with me?" A giggle escaped your lips.

"I'd love to," you said. However, as he leaned in for another kiss, you playfully pushed him away. "But only if you promise to make those pancakes in the morning." Seungcheol rolled his eyes but couldn't keep himself from grinning as he drew his hands away from you to buckle himself back in,

"Your wish is my command."

With that, you sat back in your seat, buckling yourself in and grinning across the console at him.

Seungcheol kept his hand on your knee the whole drive home, only removing it to make the necessary turns to get to his place. You had a feeling he knew what he was doing, and by the time he pulled into the parking lot of his complex your nervousness had been replaced with a desire to be near him. You laced your fingers through his as you followed him up the flight of stairs to his floor, both of you grinning and giggling like teenagers.

By the time you made it up to his apartment you could barely keep your hands off each other long enough for Seungcheol to put your blazer and purse down. You looped your arms around his neck and brought his face down to yours, kissing him hotly, wanting to know that he desired you just as much as you did him.

And if you had any doubts about it then, they were dispelled by the following morning when you found yourself in his kitchen, his hoodie barely managing to hide the marks along your collarbone. You could smell the pancakes even from back in his bedroom, but now your senses were overloaded with their sweetness combined with Seungcheol’s familiar musky scent.

“Morning,” you greeted, shuffling into the kitchen. He cast a glance at you from his place before the stove, smiling immediately at the sight of you.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” You let out an amused snort, though you were glad he couldn’t see your blush as you admired him from across the kitchen. Seungcheol might not have been confident with his body all the time, but obviously your admiration of his physique the night before hadn’t gone unnoticed as he stood shirtless making breakfast. A part of you worried for a moment about him being so near a stove without anything to cover his chest, but you assuaged those fears by looping your arms around his waist, providing the cover yourself.

“How are you feeling?” Cheol asked, using his free hand to lift one of yours to his lips. He pressed kisses to each of your knuckles, and you giggled as you softly pressed one of your own to his shoulder before nuzzling your cheek between his shoulder blades. You could feel the gentle laughter rumble through his chest, his skin soft against your own. As he let go of your hand you tightened your hold around him slightly, sighing contentedly as you replied,

“Perfect.”

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hellomynameisbisexual · 4 years

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Method 1 Understanding Your Partner

1 Recognize that bisexuals have a mixed attraction toward men and women. When entering into a serious relationship with a bisexual person, be prepared to accept their attraction to a person of another sex—the same way straight or gay people are attracted to members of one sex. Remember that if this person is dating you in the first place, it is because they are attracted to you as an individual.[1]

Even though bisexual people are attracted to two sexes, this doesn't mean they are attracted to everyone. They have limits and standards, just like everyone else does. By the same token, do not ask your partner if they "prefer sex with men or women." If you are in a relationship with them, you must always assume that they prefer you.

Some bisexuals are equally attracted to both men and women, but others have mixed attractions, e.g., they may feel more romantically attracted to one gender but more physically attracted to the other.[2]

2 Respect the bisexuality of the person you're dating as part of their identity. Most bisexual people consider themselves to always be bisexual, no matter who they are dating at the time. Do not suggest that they are heterosexual if they are in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex, or that they are gay if they are in a same-sex relationship.[3]

As such, do not ask your partner if he or she is attracted to each person that they meet. Instead, accept them as they are if you wish to retain your relationship with them.

Some people differentiate between their orientation and their behavior. Their orientation is bisexual, but their behavior (at least currently) is straight or gay. This is normal and all a part of the spectrum.

3 Know that bisexuals aren't "in transition." Not so long ago, being gay was flat out unacceptable. As a result, many gay people eased the coming out process by proclaiming themselves as bisexual and sort of getting their feet wet. It sort of ruined everything for those who were actually bisexual, turning Bitown into a pit stop to Gayville. But that's not how it is. Sure, some people may transition that way, slowly realizing (or letting themselves realize) they're gay—but others are aware of themselves and know that they're bisexual without question.[4]

It's perfectly normal to worry that your partner will eventually "turn" gay or "turn" straight. While it's feasible, don't think it's likely. Either way, right now they're into you, and that's all that matters.

4 Realize that bisexuals aren't promiscuous. They are just like everyone else. The gay community (and bisexuals getting lumped into that) gets a bad rap for being particularly oversexed. A lot of that is true; there are a lot of gay people and bisexuals having tons of casual sex. However, there are lots of straight people having casual sex all over the place as well. It has less to do with the orientation of the person and much more to do with their character. Bisexuals are not any more or less likely to be monogamous than anyone else.[5]

For a long time, many gay and bisexual people couldn't act on their feelings, or society would reject them. Now that society is becoming more tolerant, some people may try to make up for all that "lost time" once they come out of the closet. After all, a whole new world opened up to them. Wouldn't you take advantage of it too? So while promiscuity has nothing to do with orientation, it may have something to do with being held back for so long.

If he or she is a cheater, they're a cheater regardless of their sexuality. A person of good, upstanding character won't cheat, whether they're bisexual, gay, or heterosexual.

5 Understand that bisexuals aren't indecisive, untrustworthy, or confused. Many believe that bisexuals are just having their cake and eating it too, aren't really self-aware, or are immature and selfish and therefore can't be trusted. None of these are true. Bisexuals made the same choice that heterosexuals made. That is, they didn't make one. They just happen to be attracted to both sexes.

The idea that someone's sexual orientation determines their character is archaic. While many gays do tend to use their sexual orientation to identify themselves and grow their character, that's more of a poor reflection of society than it is a statement on the nature of sexuality. While liking men or women or both is a part of you, it's just a big a part as having brown hair or two arms. Big deal, right? It's just a question of preference, some prefer sweet, some prefer savoury, some like it hot, some prefer cold, some like men, some like women, some like both. It's really nothing to get hung up about. Focus on what you like about your partner and what they enjoy about your company.

6 Know that they're just as likely to be monogamous. Persons who are considered to be bisexual are attracted to two sexes, but this doesn't mean that they feel the need to be with a man and a woman at the same time. Just like straight or gay people, the vast majority of bisexual men and women will want a monogamous relationship. When it comes to marriage, a bisexual person may end up with a partner of either gender.[6]

If a woman marries a man it does not mean that she is straight, and by the same token, marrying a woman will not make her gay. The person that they marry will be the one they are in love with as a person, and may or may not have anything to do with gender.

That said, studies suggest that bisexuals are also more likely to question relationship norms such as monogamy. Approximately 65 percent of women and 20-30 percent of men in polyamorous communities identify as bisexual, which is a higher percentage than those belonging to other orientations.[7]

Method 2 Solidifying the Relationship

1 Enter into a serious relationship with your significant other just as you would with any other person, regardless of sex or orientation. Understand that if they are attracted to a member of a different or the same sex as yours, that they are not cheating on you. This is the same as straight or gay people being attracted to other members of one sex. Remember that your partner is attracted to you as an individual, and by understanding that they wish to remain with you, it will make your relationship stronger.

In a serious relationship, your partner should not only be your lover, they should also be your best and most trusted friend. If you feel you cannot accept this, then do not enter into the relationship. Remember: It's no different than how a heterosexual person will always be attracted to the opposite sex, yet they chose to be in a relationship with you, instead of all the other people they are attracted to.

2 Don't let jealousy become an issue. Sure, the entire world is open to them when it comes to sexual options. Sort of. Only not really. They still have standards. If anything, being bisexual is going to make them more selective when it comes to the men and women they are attracted to—and you're one of them!

And definitely don't let it morph your perception of yourself. You should not try to be more macho or more feminine. You nabbed them in the first place, so you are good as you are. Just because they're attracted to both sexes doesn't mean they want both at the same time.

3 Don't let paranoia ruin the relationship's potential. If you're straight and you're dating someone who is bisexual, don't fret that they're just on their way to discovering they're gay. And if you're gay and dating someone who is bisexual, don't fret that they are "just going through a phase." This person wants to date you, and they won't suddenly become gay or straight. There is no reason to be paranoid.

Sometimes if you go looking for trouble, you'll find it. If you don't trust the person you're dating, they'll be able to tell. An otherwise perfect relationship could get ruined just by being in your head. Relax! Any paranoia on your part is just imagined.

4 Maintain a healthy relationship with your significant other, as you would with any other person that you enjoy being with, or even love. Be honest with them, be open with them, and share thoughts and feelings. Forgive one another and tell the unarguable truth when it comes to disagreements, learn to appreciate your partner rather than show unhealthy criticism. Help each other when needed, and communicate openly about most any thing as you would, with a person of your same sexuality.[8]

If your partner doesn't ease your jealous tendencies, then it's not because they're bisexual—it's because they're inconsiderate of your feelings. If you constantly find yourself wondering and worrying, it's an issue to be discussed with your partner. If you don't feel reassured and safe, it may be a relationship that needs to end.

5 Ask questions. It is perfectly normal to need your worries or concerns assuaged. You need their orientation explained to you and odds are they'll be perfectly happy to do that. After all, it's certainly your business! Go in level-headed and confident. They're with you.

"Do you want a sexual relationship with a man/woman?" is a very different question than, "Are you sexually attracted to men/women?" Some bisexuals will willingly admit they're into two sexes, but having a relationship with one isn't in the foreseeable future or is a hot fantasy. In your conversations, be sure to clarify meanings and speak clearly. Knowing will help you relax and assure you in your emotions and in your relationship.

6 Be open minded. Some people think that bisexuality is a bad thing, and it certainly has its unique challenges. However, being bisexual is just another manifestation of human sexual diversity. You wouldn't discriminate against someone of a different race or denomination, so how is this any different?

Other people may feel it's in their right to ask you questions about dating a bisexual. They may openly express their disbelief at the legitimacy of your relationship or show inappropriate levels of surprise or pessimism. These people have old-fangled conceptions of relationships and don't deserve a second look. If you're happy, you're happy. That's all that matters.

7 Take a look inward. If you're still concerned about dating a bisexual, it may be more a reflection of you than it is of them. Are there deeper issues of trust at play here? Maybe you're afraid they'll leave you not because they're bisexual, but because of your own issues with self-worth. It just gets all confused in your mind. Rest assured, they're with you.

Think about it this way: They chose you over every other person on the planet. How awesome does that feel? You sure must be something!

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