#vii’s 12 days of winter writing

[cryinginsidebecauseofbrutasha]

Day 8: Setting — Quinjet

“I can’t believe you,” Bruce muttered, his nose an inch away from Natasha’s stomach wound. “Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

They were just the two of them on the Quinjet, after Natasha got him to partner with her for her mission. Partnering being patching her up after.

“I don’t do it to myself,” the spy retorted. “The people I fight do it to me.”

“You go on the fights,” he reminded her.

“Then take it up with Nick,” Nat said. She winced as Bruce tugged the needle through her skin. “Ow.”

Bruce sighed. “And this is why I keep telling you to take a break every now and then. I’ll only be available for so long, Natasha. Soon enough, Tony’ll release me from my vacation time.”

“Then let me hire you,” Nat replied, leaning forwards as Bruce approached her back with antiseptic wipes. “Be my personal doctor.”

Bruce chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I already do that.”

“But officially!” Natasha laughed as the cold wipes touched an uninjured part of her skin. “I need my personal doctor to be on call and not next to Tony making murderbots!”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “One time.”

Nat turned to him with pleading eyes. “Please? For me?” She batted her eyelashes.

“You’re being ridiculous,” Bruce laughed.

Natasha kept her eyes on him as he walked back in front of her. “Just consider it.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “But I’d rather you put me out of work by not being hurt.”

Nat rolled her eyes. “You know I can’t do that.”

Bruce exhaled and kneeled down to the spy’s hanging foot.

“Sprain?” she asked.

“Yep.” He stood up. “Like it or not, doctor’s orders, you are going on sick leave.”

Natasha frowned. “How about no.”

“How about you either take the leave now and keep it short,” Bruce said, “or take a half-year leave after you inevitably exceed your limit and crash from the sky, Icarus?”

“You did not just call me Icarus.”

“I did.”

Natasha sighed. “But there are things to do!”

“Like rest,” Bruce said sternly. “Or I’ll be recommending a different doctor for you.”

Natasha mock-gasped. “Now, don’t be hasty.”

“Rest.”

“Do I have to?”

“Absolutely.”

Nat pouted.

Bruce sighed. “How about I stay with you on your leave? Will that make you happy? Will you go on leave?”

Natasha brightened. “Yes.” She grinned, hopping off the examination table against Bruce’s protests. “A Bruce Banner vacation.”

“Yay.” He tried shepherding her back on the table to no avail.

Nat hip-checked him playfully. “Sit down.”

Bruce chuckled. “I’m not the patient here,” he said.

“I’m getting us drinks.” Nat turned. “Unless you don’t want me to have a drink with you.”

“I didn’t say that.”

Natasha grinned and grabbed her thermos. She went back and poured them a cup. “I only have one cup.”

“We can share,” Bruce said. He smelled the tea. “Chamomile?”

“Yeah.”

They sat in a silence while they slowly drained the thermos.

“What do you want to do on your leave?” Bruce asked her.

Natasha smiled. “You.”

Bruce groaned. “Not what I meant, Natasha,” he muttered into his hands.

Nat laughed. “The look on your face.”

“You’re not serious.”

“On the contrary, if we’re using the fancy words,” Natasha deadpanned. “But I digress. Do you like cheesecake?”

Bruce spluttered. “You can’t– you can’t just–” he sighed. “Yeah, if it’s the good kind of cheesecake.”

Natasha smiled at him over the rim of the cup. She poured out a new cup and handed it to him.

The sunlight filtered through the Quinjet windows as they flew by the sunset.

“You look handsome with the light hitting your face like that,” she commented off-handedly.

Bruce choked. “What– sorry–” he coughed a few times. “What?!”

Nat shrugged. “You looked nice and it deserved to be said. What?” she asked when Bruce just looked at her.

“Nothing,” Bruce sighed. “Has it ever occurred to you that you flirt a lot?”

Natasha thought for a moment. “Just with you. With everyone else, not really.” She toasted a new cup to Bruce’s stunned face. “What, you thought I did this with everyone?”

“I–” he frowned. “If not, then why me?”

Natasha got that ‘you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me’ look on her face. “Oh my god,” she muttered. She looked up, straight into Bruce’s eyes. “Dr. Banner, has it ever occurred to you that there’s a reason why people flirt?”

Bruce nodded. “Yeah. They–” a look of realization dawned on him. “Ohh.” He blinked and looked between them. “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’,” Natasha huffed.

Bruce stared at her. “Um.”

“Yeah?” Nat asked resignedly.

“I… I reciprocate.”

Natasha looked skeptical. “Do you?”

Bruce swallowed. “Yeah.” He hesitated before steeling himself. He leaned forwards about five degrees. “Can I–”

Natasha closed the rest of the distance and kissed him softly. She pulled away and smirked at Bruce’s look of frozen surprise.

“– ask you on a date?” he finished, a little lamely.

Nat smiled at him. “Sure.”

Bruce blinked. “Okay.” His eyes darted around the Quinjet.

“Okay.” Natasha laughed again. “I’ve got to say, uh, I thought you’d be less shocked.”

Bruce ducked his head. “Yeah, I haven’t really gone out… much. Not since Betty. And that was a long time ago. I’ve forgotten how to date, actually.”

Nat smiled at him, tugging at his collar. “We can fix that,” she promised. “Now, about our vacation. What do you think, Mexico or someplace even farther away?”

#natasha romanoff #bruce banner #brutasha #black widow #brucenat #mcu #marvel #the hulk #hulkwidow #hulktasha #gammawidow #banneroff #Bruce and Natasha #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #quinjet conversations #confession #vii’s 12 days of winter writing

[jaemified]

jaemified -> seventeen masterlist

[KEY]; A (angst), D (drama), F (fluff), M (mature), S (suggestive)

☆ (popular),♡ (personal favs), # (on hold)

taglist ; open !

choi seungcheol;

-coups day thoughts,, | 0.5k (2m) (F)

synopsis ; n/a

-keep it quiet | 2.1k (10m) (M,F) ☆

synopsis ; you and seungcheol never liked taking risks, especially with 8 of his 12 roommates home. but, up until your self control couldn’t handle it anymore, you both found it was best to keep it quiet.

yoon jeonghan;

-nothing yet

joshua hong;

-same dream, same mind, same night | 3.0k (15m) (A,F) ☆

synopsis; confiding in her longtime best friend after the end of a rocky relationship, choi y/n begins to heal once more and realizes what’s been waiting in front of her after all this time.

wen junhui;

-nothing yet

kwon soonyoung;

-world of my own | 1.2k (6m) (A,D) ♡

synopsis ; in a place which you fall into your own dreamland with the one who was meant to be the love of your life, the discussion gets highly theoretical (and not to mention, emotional)

-sunshine | 1.6k (9m) (D,F)

synopsis; the one who stayed by your side no matter how many times you got fired from different jobs, tells you no matter the outcome, you’ll always be his sunshine in the rain.

jeon wonwoo;

- [WIP] summer to winter | estimate of 6-8k (30-40m) (D,F,A) (#)

synopsis ; wonwoo hates his job but that all changes the moment he saw you walk through those cafe doors. the girl who would be his heatwave in december.

lee jihoon;

-nothing yet

lee seokmin;

-nothing yet

kim mingyu;

-puppy love | 2.4k (12m) (D,A,S) ♡ ☆

synopsis; you don’t care much for dating, but kim mingyu is an exception. even if you already know puppy love doesnt last

xu minghao;

-taking me high (angel) | 2.0k (10m) (M)

synopsis ; after being away from your boyfriend for almost a literal week thanks to your job, you want nothing more than him in every possible way. but when he finds himself picking his games over you, you come to a compromise; sneaking under the table while hes distracted.

-SNOWED IN! [MASTERLIST] | estimate of 4k-6k (20-30m) (D,F,A)

i | ii | iii | iv | v | vi | vii | ix | x

synopsis; when an unexpected storm comes over seoul, you and all of your coworkers are snowed in your workplace with no way out, yet you want to make the most of whatever time you have with minghao.

-last | 0.7k (5m) (S,F)

synopsis ; youre going to the states for college, minghaos pursuing his dream in korea. and hes gonna miss you, badly.

boo seungkwan;

- [WIP] pretty when you cry | estimate of 2.5k (13m) (F,D)

synopsis ; when your high school boyfriend you were separated from at the age of 17 moves back to seoul after 6 years, you find yourself crying in his warm arms once more.

vernon chwe;

-nothing yet

lee chan;

-i could never lie to you. | 0.9k (6m) (A,D,S) ♡

synopsis ; youve been struggling with a toxic relationship for years now, but you had no one to tell that to, or anyone thatd believe you at least. so while your boyfriend slips out for the night to god knows where, you use this time to write down and express everything youve bottled up all this time.

-chan as ur idol bf | 0.6k (4m) (F)

synopsis ; n/a

-through the window (21 days) | 2.7k (14m) (F)

synopsis ; after a long series of floods, youre finally able to meet the boy across the street who had caught your eye throughout the long few weeks.

- [WIP] seasons | estimate of 8k (40m) (D,A,S,F) (#)

synopsis ; when y/n begins to develop feelings for her best friend, she realizes life isnt as it seems in the movies, and that not all love is meant to last.

#kpop imagines #fanfic #seventeen fanfic #svt #seventeen smut #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #svt x reader #svt fanfic

[mybeautifulbeautifuleternal]

Writing Masterlist

Monthly Prompt Lists

Winter 2020

Febuwhump 2021

The Merry Whump of May 2022

Summer of Whump 2022

January Vocabulary 2023

Whumpuary 2023

TV Shows

The Good Place

Brooklyn 99/Good Place Crossover

Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon

Aemond Targaryen

You Tell Aemond You’re Pregnant

The Haunting of Hill House

Luke

Spending the Day with Luke

Nellie

Going on Vacation

Umbrella Academy

Series

i turn to paths that lead home

Summary:  Luther held Vanya a little tighter, refusing to let her go. It changed the game and made all the difference

i ii iii iv v vi vii viii ix

#i turn to paths that lead home

Connected One Shots

 A Season 2 Fix-it Universe

give your heart and soul to charity

post season 2 au: five finally gets the hugs he deserves but does not want (but he really actually does)

x

birds flying by, sun in the sky

summary: post season 2 au where 12 people came from the ‘60s to the world that 7 of them had left.

x

I’d never want once from the cherry tree

summary: post season 2 au - its finally a nice day in the city and the entire family has a BBQ

x

creepy, kooky, mysteries, & spooky

summary:  post season 2 au: its halloween time and the hargreeves let Klaus choose the costumes. it went about how you expect.

x

6 for 6

summary: 6 hugs for Ben cause he deserves them

x

Claire Hargreeves’ Summer

Tea Party

Summary: Five has a plan. It does not survive contact with his niece.

x

Cooking with Klaus

summary: Claire has a nightmare and Uncle Klaus comes to the rescue.

x

Rainy Day Forts

summary: Claire has fun with the Hargreeves and they build a Blanket Fort on a Rainy day.

x

Bedtime Stories

Nighttime Nightmares

Summary:  Number Seven gets a nightmare. Number Six helps her go to sleep again.

x

Sleep Without Fear

Summary: Number Four, Number Six, and Number Seven sleep together. The nightmares go away.

x

Not Connected One Shots

he had to do this

summary: klaus wakes up alone in the barn, surrounded by his siblings.

x

idioms

Summary: Diego misspeaks and his siblings are assholes.

x

every dog should have a boy

Summary: Five? Meet Mr. Pennycrumb

x

Drabbles

Ben

Getting Engaged to Ben

Luther

Going to all of Luther’s Fights

Movies

How To Train Your Dragon

Ruffnut

Being Worried about Ruffnut

IT and IT: Chapter 2

Bill Denbrough

Running into Him Outside the Jade Dragon

John Wick

John

Spending the Day at the Park

Marvel

Wanda

Talking to Wanda inside the Hex

Rise of The Guardians

Jack

Ice Skating

Starting a Snowball Fight

Star Wars

Obi-Wan

Making Him a Flower Crown

Original Characters

Charlie Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)

i couldn’t utter it, i couldn’t whisper it (my love for you was silent)

Summary:  In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end well.

i ii iii

#i couldn’t utter it

a bed of roses and the river at dawn

Summary:  In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end happily.

AU of a Number Eight AU.

i 

#a bed of roses and the river at dawn

Aelia (Eternals)

Drabbles

M’darlin - Breakdown after the final battle

Post Battle - the immediate aftermath

Reading - a calm day of the past, reading

Piano Lessons - teaching Jack how to play

#the sun the moon and all the stars

[crazy-loca-blog]

Open Heart (Masterlist - Under Reorganization)

Expect it to be updated when the inspiration hits... if you want to check my reviews on other Choices books, click here.

Meet My MC: Dr. Casey Valentine

Meet My OC: Oliver Valentine

Meet The Ramseys!

Meet My MC Event

Casey Valentine: About Her Past

Casey Valentine: About Her Present

Casey Valentine: About Her Future

MC Monday

Part I: Endearing

Part II: Framed picture

Part III: Book release

Part IV: Thirst trapping

Part V: Phone lockscreen

Part VI: Family tree

Part VII: Badges

Part VIII: Dating app profile

Part IX: Winter looks

Part X: Christmas camera roll

Part XI: Casey's "lasts"

Part XII: Vision board

Part XIII: Magazine cover

Part XIV: High school yearbook

Part XV: Pictagram profile

Part 15.5: Opera/Ballroom/Gala date

Part 15.8: OC Occasion

Part XVI: Love & Friendship Photo Challenge

Part XVII: Selfie and reaction

Part XVIII: Valentine's and Anti Valentiine's Day

Part XVIX: Meaning and history of Casey's name

Part XX: The exes

Part XXI: Casey's hometown

Part 21.5: Women who inspire Casey

Part XXII: Spring look book

Part XXIII: News headline (NEW!)

Part XXIV: Student ID

Part XXV

Part XXVI

Part XXVII: Eyes

Part XXVIII: Hair

Part XXIX

Part XXX: Flowers

Part XXXI:

Part XXXII: Children's names meaning

Part XXXIII: Casey's 13th picture in her camera roll

Part XXXIV: Picture of Casey in someone else's camera roll

Part XXXV:

Part XXXVI: Fathers and father figures

Part XXXVII: Siblings

Other

One year later

The Newlyweds Game: Casey and Ethan answer a series of questions about each other as newlyweds.

Masterlist

Week 9: Friends Edition

Week 10: Wedding at a Glance

Week 11: Ramdom questions

Week 12: NS*FW Stats (NS*FW)

Week 13: The Exes

Week 14: The Looks Throughout The Years

Wedding Wednesday

Week 1: Music

Week 2: The dress and the suit

Week 3: The cake

Week 4: The wedding party

Week 5: The wedding night attire

Week 6: The vows

Week 7: The rings

Week 8: The speeches

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13: When did they decide to get married?

Week 14

Week 15: Old, new, borrowed, and blue

Week 16: Favorite photos

Week 17: Traditions

More Templates

More About Casey and Ethan

Headcanons: My own vision on Casey and Ethan's perfectly imperfect world.

Baby Talks For completely different reasons, kids have never been on the cards for Casey and Ethan. What happens when he realizes he might be changing his mind about it?

The Calm After The Storm What happens to Ethan and Casey when she is finally discharged from Edenbrook after the attack? Set in the time jump in 2.12.

The Road To The Aisle Part of the Newlyweds Game. Ethan and Casey decide to give the next big step on their lives, but the process is not always easy. Luckily, they have a bunch of friends who are always willing to help.

Personal Thoughts On...: Series of personal reviews on different Open Heart chapters. I basically write them when I need to vent about something.

Open Heart

Open Heart, Second Year

Open Heart, Second Year, Chapter 13 (with some glimpses to previous chapters)

Open Heart, Second Year, Chapter 13: Casey vs. Levi

Open Heart, Second Year, Chapter 18

Open Heart, Second Year, Chapter 19

Open Heart, Second Year, Chapter 20

Open Heart, Second Year... and the mess with the Ethan plot

Open Heart, Third Year, Chapter 1

Open Heart, Third Year, Chapters 2-4

Other Theories and Random Posts: Again, the only reason I write these posts is to vent.

Open Heart: On Ethan Ramsey's relationship with his family

Open Heart, Second Year: On Sora dying instead of Danny

Open Heart, Third Year: On the LIs confessions in Hawaii

Open Heart, Third Year: On Ethan Ramsey's personality: attachment and self-sufficiency

Open Heart vs. Laws of Attraction... same vibes

Open Heart: Gratitude post

#masterlist #playchoices #choices stories you play #pixelberry #pixelberry studios #open heart #open heart choices #choices open heart #ethan ramsey #casey valentine #casey valentine x ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x casey valentine #casey x ethan #ethan x casey

[ungarmax]

writer check-in question set

tagged by @shutupreno, thanks!!

tagging: @perniciouslizard @marywhal @herbgerblin @a-big-apple @desiree-harding-fic and whoever else wants to do this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

On my main AO3, I have 8.  I have 2 more on a secret AO3.

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

200,748

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Including crossovers:

The Adventure Zone, Final Fantasy VII, Homestuck, and Fullmetal Alchemist, on my AO3.  I’ve written far more than is on there, though.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Nothing Gold

The Winter Rose

After Me Comes the Flood

Alone Among the Wreck

Burn the Maps that Charts Your Dreams

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Sometimes!  I used to not because it feels like artificially inflating your comment count, but I got over that.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Burn the Maps that Chart Your Dreams is your classic “and everyone died and no one had happy endings” sort of fic.  I don’t write angsty endings like that these days, but I sure did back then.  I advise against reading it.

7. Do you ever write crossovers?

Not unless you count The Winter Rose as being a crossover with Beauty and the Beast.  I also had an FF7/TAZ crossover in the works once, but mostly in ideas and not in writing, though I did write a nice bit of Lucretia (Tifa) finding Taako (Cloud) in the Sector 7 slums with no memory of Lup (Zack) or where he got the umbra staff (buster sword).

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not recently.  I can’t remember any.  People are very nice to me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, that’s what my other AO3 is for.  We don’t talk about that.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup.  The person claimed that they had ‘forgotten’ they’d read a fic with the exact same theme and premise and plot, and apologized, so I guess that’s a win?  They didn’t like make money off of it or something, so whatever, I guess.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I RP a lot, and one we sort of turned into a fic, but it was still basically an RP in fic form.

12. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Probably Zack/Cloud.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Babysitters’ Club was the first one I wrote it down for, though I’ve been making up stories about books I’ve read since I was a little kid.  The first fanfic I ever published was....prooooobably Star Wars or Final Fantasy IV?  Not sure.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmm, that’s a good question.  I like The Garden Under Snow a lot because I feel like I wrapped it up nicely, and it’s a good all around little fic.  I don’t think it’s really my favorite, though.  I really like some bits of Along Among the Wreck too.

15. BONUS QUESTION: Do you have a WIP that haunts you?

The Winter Rose, no doubt.  There was only a chapter left, and I decided to take a break and...never went back.  At least I had wrapped up most of it by the point I stopped writing it.  Maybe someday I’ll just upload a vague outline of what was supposed to happen in the epilogue.

#meme #fic writing meme #long post #feel free to skip it if it's not your thing #or to tag me as your 'tagged by' person even if i didn't tag you specifically

[adozentothedawn]

OC Associations

Thank you to @risualto for tagging me! This was so much fun to do that I just made all my OCs, also I only have four, so it’s manageable.^^° Well, I guess I have one more from Star Trek that I made when I was like 11 and didn’t even know what fanfiction was, but I’m not gonna touch her until I sit down and fix the trainwreck I wrote back then. Maybe writing it down here will give me the motivation to do it one day.

Anyway, I have completely lost sight of who was already tagged or even who already did it, so I’ll just throw some names into the void to see what sticks. Feel free to tell me if you already did one. :)

@orime-stories, @adraveins, @serenbach86, @ampleappleamble, @moon-sugar, @luminousbathhouse, @lunarowena, @heyitsharding, @aban-ataashi, @shimmer-like-agirl, @brightoncemore, 

Favaen (Pillars of Eternity, Watcher)

I. ANIMAL: Red Fox, Ocelot II. COLOUR: Red, Orange, Yellow III. MONTH: June IV. SONGS: “The Sky And The Dawn And The Sun” by Celtic Woman, “Star Maker (English Dub)” by Nathan Sharp  V. NUMBER: 3, 12 VI. DAY OR NIGHT: Day VII. PLANTS: Sunflower VIII. SMELLS: Frankincense, Morning Dew, Tea IX. GEMSTONE: Sunstone, Carnelian X. SEASON: Spring XI. PLACES: an open field or meadow, a smithy, a church XII. FOODS: Stew, Cookies (marzipan especially) XIII. ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Aries XIV. ELEMENTS: Fire XV. DRINKS: Tea (any kind really)

Francesca de Luca (Pillars of Eternity, Watcher)

I. ANIMAL: Wolf II. COLOUR: Green (Dark/Light), Silver III. MONTH: September IV. SONGS: “Gráinne Mhaol” by Miracle of Sound V. NUMBER: 6, 7 VI. DAY OR NIGHT: Night VII. PLANTS: Pine, Dandilion, Moss VIII. SMELLS: Pine, Forest after rain IX. GEMSTONE: Black Opal, Aventurine, Bi Color Fluorite X. SEASON: Autumn XI. PLACES: a forest, plains, a tavern, a boat XII. FOODS: Roast Meat, Wild Green Salad XIII. ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Saggitarius XIV. ELEMENTS: Earth XV. DRINKS: Mead, Water

Emblyn ix Ensios (Pillars of Eternity, Inquisitor)

I. ANIMAL: Crane II. COLOUR: Dark Blue, Turquoise, Gold III. MONTH: October IV. SONGS: “A Demon’s Fate” by Within Temptation V. NUMBER: 4, 13 VI. DAY OR NIGHT: Night VII. PLANTS: Orchid VIII. SMELLS: old stone, blood, dried flowers IX. GEMSTONE: Phantom Amethyst, Abalone Shell, Golden Aura Quartz X. SEASON: Winter XI. PLACES: a small village, a big church, a tower, a basement XII. FOODS: Honey XIII. ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Pisces XIV. ELEMENTS: Water, Light XV. DRINKS: Wine

Broder Tavai (Pillars of Eternity, Readceran Knight)

I. ANIMAL: Bear, Seal, Penguin II. COLOUR: Purple, Olive Green III. MONTH: March IV. SONGS: “Gott mit uns” by Sabaton V. NUMBER: 42 VI. DAY OR NIGHT: Day VII. PLANTS: Oak, Olive Tree, White Rose VIII. SMELLS: Leather, Soap, a Camp Fire IX. GEMSTONE: Amethyst, Ametrine, Moonstone, Petrified Wood X. SEASON: Spring XI. PLACES: a large street or road, a tavern, barracks XII. FOODS: Fish, Bread, Porridge XIII. ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Taurus XIV. ELEMENTS: Air XV. DRINKS: Ale, “Forgetful Night” (ingame), Fruit Juices

For extra heartache: listen to  "Courtroom Révolutionnaire" by  Adriana Figueroa  and think about Eothas and Waidwen for a bit. No, I have not recovered from that obsession yet.

#oc associations #asks and tags #pillars of eternity #watcher wednesday #Watcher Favaen #Watcher Francesca #Inquisitor Emblyn #Broder

[orthodoxydaily]

Saints&Reading: Sun., Oct. 25, 2020

Commemorated on October 12_ Julian calendar

St Martin “ The Merciful” of Tours  ( 397)

St. Martin of Tours, (born 316, Sabaria, Pannonia [now Szombathely, Hungary]—died November 8, 397, Candes, Gaul [France]; Western feast day, November 11; Eastern feast day November 12), patron saint of France, father of monasticism in Gaul, and the first great leader of Western monasticism.

Of pagan parentage, Martin chose Christianity at age 10. As a youth, he was forced into the Roman army, but later—according to his disciple and biographer Sulpicius Severus—he petitioned the Roman emperor Julian the Apostate to be released from the army because “I am Christ’s soldier: I am not allowed to fight.” When charged with cowardice, he is said to have offered to stand in front of the battle line armed only with the sign of the cross. He was imprisoned but was soon discharged.

While he was still in the military and a catechumen of the faith, Martin cut his cloak in half to share it with a beggar. That night, he dreamed that Jesus himself was clothed with the torn cloak. When he awoke, the garment was restored. Moved by this vision and apparent miracle, Martin immediately finished his religious instruction and was baptized at age 18.

On leaving the Roman army, Martin settled at Poitiers, under the guidance of Bishop Hilary. He became a missionary in the provinces of Pannonia and Illyricum (now in the Balkan Peninsula), where he opposed Arianism. Forced out of Illyricum by the Arians, Martin went to Italy, first to Milan and then to the island of Gallinaria, off Albenga. In 360 he rejoined Hilary at Poitiers. Martin then founded a community of hermits at Ligugé, the first monastery in Gaul. In 371 he was made bishop of Tours, and outside that city he founded another monastery, Marmoutier, to which he withdrew whenever possible.

As bishop, Martin made Marmoutier a great monastic complex to which European ascetics were attracted and from which apostles spread Christianity throughout Gaul. He himself was an active missionary in Touraine and in the country districts where Christianity was as yet barely known. In 384/385 he took part in a conflict at the imperial court in Trier, France, to which the Roman emperor Magnus Maximus had summoned Bishop Priscillian of Ávila, Spain, and his followers. Although Martin opposed Priscillianism, a heretical doctrine renouncing all pleasures, he protested to Maximus against the killing of heretics and against civil interference in ecclesiastical matters. Priscillian was nevertheless executed, and Martin’s continued involvement with the case caused him to fall into disfavour with the Spanish bishops. During his lifetime, Martin acquired a reputation as a miracle worker, and he was one of the first nonmartyrs to be publicly venerated as a saint.

Source: Britannica

The Transfer from Malta to Gatchina of a Part of the Wood of the Life-Creating Cross of the Lord,  the Philermia Icon of the Mother of God and the Right Hand of Saint John the Baptist (1799)

     The Transfer from Malta to Gatchina of a Part of the Wood of the Life-Creating Cross of the Lord, together with the Philermia Icon of the Mother of God and the Right Hand of Saint John the Baptist was done in the year 1799. These holy things were preserved on the island of Malta by the Knights of the Catholic Order of Saint John of Jerusalem. In 1798, when the French seized the island, the Maltese knights turned for defence and protection to Russia. On 12 October 1799 they offered these ancient holy things to the emperor Paul I, who at this time was situated at Gatchina. In the autumn of 1799 the holy items were transferred to Peterburg and placed in the Winter Palace within the church in honour of the Image of the Saviour Not-Made-by-Hand. The feast for this event was established in 1800.

Philermia Icon

     By ancient tradition, the Philermia Icon of the Mother of God was written by the holy Evangelist Luke. From Jerusalem it was transferred to Constantinople, where it was situated in the Blakhernae church. In the XIII Century it was taken from there by crusaders and from that time kept by the Knights of the Order of Saint John.

The right Hand of John the Baptist

The Orthodox Church celebrates the Synaxis of John the Baptist and the translation of his right hand from Antioch to Constantinople. According to the Church’ tradition, John the Forerunner of our Lord, was buried in the city of Sebaste, Samaria. Saint Luke the Evangelist wanting to move St John’s whole body to Antioch, was able to obtain and translate only his right hand. Historians Theodoret and Rufinus mention that the tomb of St. John the Baptist was desecrated in 362, during the Emperor Julian the Apostate reign, and a part of St. John relics burned. What remained intact from Saint’ body was taken to Jerusalem, then to Alexandria, and on May 27, 395 was placed in the church that bears saint John’ name.

The chronicle of John Skylitzes (a Byzantine historian of the eleventh century) states that the right hand of St. John the Baptist was moved from Antioch to Constantinople in 956 by Emperor Constantine the VII or Porphyrogenites (913-959) to be placed in one of the chapels of the Grand Palais, that is in the church of the Most Holy Theotokos of Peribleptos. At the end of the twelve century, the Russian archbishop Anthony of Novgorod who went on a pilgrimage to Constantinople, mentions in his writings among other treasures of this church, the right hand of St. John the Baptist.  According to Du Cange in 1263, Othon of Ciconia attested the presence of a small piece from St. John’ right hand, in Citeaux Abbey, France. In 1261, Othon aceepted the refuge of the Latin Emperor of Constantinople Baldwin the II and in exchange for a gift, the emperor gave Othon this piece of relic of St John.  In a testimony of the Spanish ambassador Clavijo dated 1404, it is mentioned that the holy hand was still in the church of the Theotokos – Peribleptos in Constantinople. After the fall of Constantinople (in 1453), the hand of St. John the Baptist along with other Church’ treasures were seized by the Turks and kept in the imperial treasury. In some Turkish fiscal archives from 1484 kept in Topkapi, it is noted that Sultan Bayezid the II (1481-1512) sent the hand of St. John to Hospitallers from Rhodes, (who occupied this island during the first quarter of the fourteenth century), in order to earn their favor. Later, the Hospitallers took the relics to the island of Malta, where they established their quarter...continue reading

John 20:19-31 

19Then, the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, "Peace be with you."20When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.21So Jesus said to them again, "Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you."22 And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained. 24 Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came.25 The other disciples therefore said to him, "We have seen the Lord." So he said to them, "Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe." 26 And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, "Peace to you!" 27 Then He said to Thomas, "Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing." 28 And Thomas answered and said to Him, "My Lord and my God!" 29 Jesus said to him, "Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."30 And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; 31 but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.

Galatians 1:11-19

11But I make known to you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. 12 For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but it came through the revelation of Jesus Christ.13 For you have heard of my former conduct in Judaism, how I persecuted the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it.14 And I advanced in Judaism beyond many of my contemporaries in my own nation, being more exceedingly zealous for the traditions of my fathers.15 But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb and called me through His grace, 16 to reveal His Son in me, that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately confer with flesh and blood, 17 nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went to Arabia, and returned again to Damascus.18 Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to see Peter, and remained with him fifteen days. 19 But I saw none of the other apostles except James, the Lord's brother.

#ortohodxy #ancientfaith #orthodoxchristianity #originofchristianity #holyscriptures #gospel #spirituality #sacredtexts #wisdom

[otakucalsama]

cal’s bella x wolves fic recs

hello! this is cal here (obviously) and i’m just reposting this. i made it a while back, but the links didn’t work, so now i’m redoing it. this time, i’m going to make it smaller, with more posts, instead of larger in one post. so without further ado, here is my bella x the wolves fic recs. also, this is only for completed fics, so if you have a story i didn’t add (that’s complete) send me a link and i’ll read it and then decide whether to add it or not. i will not, however, take any bella x edward, bella x jasper, or bella x jacob fics. 

other fic recs here

last updated- 12/2/19

j a r e d x b e l l a

i. firebound by someryn / m / 70-75k, multi-chaptered / complete

After the battle with the newborns, Bella stumbles into an entirely new destiny. She’d thought she’d already made all the hard decisions. Now she doesn’t know if her world is falling apart or finally falling together. Bella/Jared.

ii. she belongs with me by booksteaandcake13 / m / 70-75k, multi-chaptered / complete

A fan fiction about the imprinting on Bella by Jared. When Bella goes looking for Jake, she meets Jared instead. How do they make their relationship work, and how does Jacob deal with it? Will Jacob find a new romance?

iii. a difficult choice by nefertel / t / 25-30k, multi-chaptered / complete

Bella breaks free from Edward to visit Jacob but something happens that no one expected. What will happen to Bella and Edward. BXJ pairing. Rated T for now may change to M.

iv. seven days by lilyaurora / m / 2-3k, one-shot / complete

“Please. I’m begging, just… just talk to me. Please.” His heart ached as he watched her eyes fill with unshed tears. Her long, beautiful hair moved fluidly as she shook her head in reply, not trusting her voice. He reached towards her, wanting to comfort her. But she pulled away, a gasp on her plump lips, eyes wide

v. the man who can’t be moved by vampirefairy13 / t / 10-15k, two-shot / complete

Songfic. Despite being imprinted on by Jared, Bella chooses another, his sworn enemy. When all his previous attempts to change Bella’s mind fail he is forced to wait where they first met hoping she will come to her senses. But what if it’s too late?

p a u l x b e l l a

i. no more secrets by just lil ole t / m / >1k, one-shot / complete

Paul loves a challenge and she definitely fits that bill! AU, ONE SHOT!, Rated M mostly for language

ii. redemption by khyharah / t / 35-40k, multi-chaptered / complete

Redemption can come in many forms. For some, it’s finding the light at the end of the tunnel. For me? It came in two forms: a red-haired vampire out for vengeance and a 6'4", copper skinned man….. No man isn’t right. GOD would be closer. Oh, and he just happens to turn into a giant wolf and kills vampires. But really, that’s just a bonus.

iii. holy crow by geezerwrench / m / 15-20k, multi-chaptered / complete

The feather Paul found was a confirmation of what he already knew. Bella is the imprint he requires, but maybe he’s just what Bella truly needs. Written for Afke in the 2014 2nd Annual Tricky Raven Author/Artist Silent Auction. AU. Paul Lahote, Bella Swan

iv. hot headed angel by obsidian stained roses / t / 25-30k, multi-chaptered / complete

IMPRINT STORY: After Edward left, I couldn’t function. I didn’t think I’d ever move on with my life. I was trying for Charlie and Jacob; but it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough for anyone; I just wanted Edward. It wasn’t a life without him. But life has purpose, and after Jacob broke his promise, I found my purpose. I had someone to live for. I had Paul. P/B A/U OOC

v. life in la push by ifeelittoo / k+ / 20-25k, multi-chaptered / complete

What if Charlie had lived in La Push? Bella moves in with him, and everything goes down differently. Will Bella still fall for Edward? Or will a member of the pack appeal to her?

vi. listening to your heart beating by kaialuna / m / 3-4k, one-shot / complete

A little one shot trying to get my writing back after a long setback. Paul finds and imprints on Bella in the woods after Edward leaves. Can she be healed by the quiet warmth of his presence and the gentle thrum of his heart beat.

vii. hearts in sync by untamed loner / m / 30-35k, multi-chaptered / complete / sequel- hearts ever right

When Charlie gets called away to testify, Bella moves to La Push where she meets Paul. It doesn’t take long for the two to form a bond unlike any other. As Paul convinces her to talk about her past, it becomes clear. She was always meant to be HIS.

viii. harmonic convergence by nostalgicmiss / m / 90-95k, multi-chaptered / complete

When Bella comes to stay with Charlie, his first inclination is to keep her away from the vampires and send her to school on the Reservation where she’ll be protected. Her life changes forever when bad boy Paul comes out to play. A/U, BxP, Rated M

ix. big bad wolf by kaialuna / m / 10-15k, one shot / complete

A slap derails Bella’s life. She’d never hit someone before, ever. Now all she can think about is Paul. Odd little one shot. Not my best writing but thought I’d post it anyways.

x. shades of the past by mysteriouslyme / m / 3-4k, one-shot / complete

When he left, she was left broken. When the world was left devoid of warmth, he defrosted her frozen sheilds of self preservation, helping her piece back together what she had forgotten.

xi. paul’s girl by sweetashuney / m / 50-55k, multi-chaptered / complete

Takes place in New Moon. After Paul imprints on Bella they become close. But how will they fare when the Cullen Family comes back? Will Paul be able to keep Bella’s heart or does she still belong to a vampire? M for lemons and language.

xii. poisoned love by 9poisonivy9 / m / 45-50k, multi-chaptered / complete

What if, when Jake took Bella to meet Sam and the others, Paul imprinted on her. Can Paul fix Bella or will she be the broken girl forever? And will their love survive the newborns and Victoria?

xiii. somewhere i belong by juxtaposed92 / m / 55-60k, multi-chaptered / complete

Bella ran away from an abusive relationship and who should she run into other then the pack? She falls in love with Paul, who has in fact imprinted on her, as they all try and help her escape her dangerous ex.

xiv. my savior by teamjacobrulez / m / 30-35k, multi-chaptered / complete

In the midst of her near death, he was the only one who was there to save her. When everyone else had abandoned her, he was the one who came to give her comfort. When no one else loved her, he did. After suffering a bad heartbreak, can she love again?

xv. believe by bexxyy / t / 3-4k, one-shot / complete

When the wolves are in trouble, a former legend comes to life. All Bella can do is sit and wait but sometimes you can see more than you believe from the sidelines, based on the Quileute legend about the Thunderbird.

s e t h x b e l l a

i. the clearwater solution by shadowpast620 / m / 6-7k, one-shot / complete

Seth does what no one else has been able to do – stop Bella from marrying Edward.

ii. unintended by jasper’sdarlinbunny / k / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

Set during New Moon. A little Oneshot about Seth/Bella and a little thing called Imprinting!

iii. tradition by notashamedtobe / m / 7-8k, one-shot / complete

Some traditions change with time, only to get better. This is an entry from the Tricky Raven’s winter contest. It also checks off my desire to write Bella with all the wolves, minus Colin and Brady. I might add to it later on, but it’s done as of right now.

q u i l x b e l l a

i. closure by lilyaurora / t / 2-3k, one-shot / complete

Some Fluffy Fluff lol

ii. promise me by just lil ole t / k+ / 4-5k, one-shot / complete

What if Bella and Quil grew up as life long friends? How would their lives have turned out? AU, Rated K, ONE SHOT, This piece won Third Place in Tricky Raven’s Twitterpated in Springtime One Shot Competition! :D

iii. walking away by betterintexas / m / 6-7k, one-shot / complete

A different take on the Breaking Dawn wedding. What could have been. Entry to the Tricky Raven Silent Auction. Prompt provided by GeezerWench.

iv. love in an elevator by lilyaurora / m / 5-6k, one-shot / complete / sequel- be mine bella

“Quil!…I swear to god if you press another button on that panel, I’m gonna kick you right where it hurts!”

v. i’m yours by pengins.are.lovely / t / 40-45k, multi-chaptered / complete

After Jake ditched them both, Quil and Bella strike up a friendship, which turns into something more.

vi. that’s not what i expected by carliecullenblack by just a kiss contest / t / 6-7k, one-shot / complete

ENTRY FOR THE JUST A KISS CONTEST: Jake sends Bella away in New Moon after he first phases and Quil finds her crying and upset. The two connect over the loss of their friend in an unexpected way.

vii. i’ve always loved you by knblair86 / 40-45k, multi-chaptered / complete

Imprint Story! After Jake gets ‘sick’, Bella starts hanging out with Quil. How will they help each other heal? What happens when the Cullen’s come back to town and Will Victoria finally get her revenge? Please give it a chance!

viii. well ain’t that something by wolfpull85 / t / 3-4k, one-shot / complete

Bella goes to La Push to confront Jake after he disappears but finds his friend instead and a whole world she didn’t expect opens up.

e m b r y x b e l l a

i. gettin’ game by just lil ole t / k / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

Embry’s struggling to find his game…to catch his girl. He goes to his best source of manly advice for some suggestions. ONE SHOT!, AU

ii. brown sugar by geezerwrench / t / >1k, one-shot / complete

Looking at her, he realized he didn’t really want to know the answer after all—to either question. Perhaps later he would, but right then, in that moment, it didn’t matter. Written for the Tricky Raven Weekly Fanfiction Flash Fic challenge prompt #36. AU Embry Call, Bella Swan

iii. how do i love thee? by chrissihr / m / 2-3k, one-shot / complete

AU: Embry and Bella are lying in bed one lazy summer Saturday morning, basking in the sunshine pouring through the slats of the blinds like cats in a sun puddle as Embry recites “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…” and shows her. Pairing prompt provided by Afke Deen for the 2nd Annual Tricky Raven Author & Artist Silent Auction. One-shot, COMPLETE.

iv. bella on ice by kookykatie / t / 3-4k, one-shot / complete

Set in New Moon, in February. Bella is moving on with her life after Edward left and has taken to Jacob and his pack of friends. They can get her to do many things she wouldn’t normally do, and they take advantage of that in this particular story. Embry/Bella pairing, Jacob only loves Bella as a best friend.

v. bella’s insecurities by sfj0813 / t / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

Bella thinks she’s not good enough for Embry. Oneshot

l e a h x b e l l a

i. lost and found by sophieangel69 / m / 1-2k, two-shot / complete

After Edward leaves her Bella bumps into Victoria but is then saved by a passing werewolf. (Dub-con) Challenge

ii. magic on the cliffs by whitewolflegend / t / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

“Am I so horrible that no one will want me?” she whispers to the she wolf after a few minutes of silence. Leah held back another snarl and cursed Jacob in her mind before pulling back so she could look Bella in her eyes for the first time. Gasping as she felt the world around her shift and latch onto the woman crying in front of her, nothing mattered but her.

iii. moonlight sonata by izzyiniguez / t / 6-7k, one-shot / complete

Bella/Leah. Leah imprinted and kept it to herself, eventually the wolf will be let out of the bag.

iv. acceptance by mskathy / m / 7-8k, one-shot / complete

Written for the TwiSlash Unveiled Femme Slash Contest - Leah struggles with her self-identity and Bella just wants someone to love. When Alice sets them up on a blind date, they each find more than they had hoped for in each other. Lemons, femme slash.

v. secrets of the heart by sparklingfae / m / 2-3k, one-shot / complete

She was tired of waiting..tonight was the night that she would reveal the truth to her imprint. FemmeSlash warning.

b r a d y x b e l l a

i. all for you by welsharcher / t / 50-55k, multi-chaptered / complete

The meeting with the wolves didn’t go quite as everyone had planned. Especially not when a wolf imprints on Bella. Bella/Brady.

#twilight #twilight fic recs #bella fic recs #bella swan #twilight wolf pack #jared cameron #bella x jared #paul lahote #bella x paul #seth clearwater #bella x seth #quil ateara #bella x quil #embry call #bella x embry #leah clearwater #bella x leah #brady fuller #bella x brady

[sailormerky]

dontloveherdontloveherdontloveherdontdontdont

(alt title: advice from heartbreak) 

I. mercury

Have you tried writing about her? 

About she who turned your thoughts to spun sugar and tasted like warm honey sliding down your throat?

Write about her. The pain will fade on its own. 

There’s something about writing that solidifies things, 

So it won’t matter that she drifted through your life all winter storm and tumbleweed smile, 

It won’t matter that she treated your heart as a weigh station between stops. 

She may have treated you like a tourist stop but will you really care all that much because you got to love her? 

She with pressed flowers and note boxes, 

Who signed every letter “With love, yours.”

She was a gift by every right even if she swept into your life and then out, 

Even though she forgot to close the door when she left.

II. venus

You leave your heart open, hoping she’ll come back. 

Maybe she only meant “I will see you shortly” not goodbye. 

No, goodbye was too permanent. 

You leave your heart open for when love arrives again. 

This time you’ll be ready because you know what love looks like, 

It looks 5’4 with a beaming smile, crinkled nose when she smiles, 

It’s breakfast at three in the morning, 12-hour conversation, and three children. 

It’s… it’s not any of these things. I know you want it to be, 

I know you are desperately clinging to the fact “It should be.” 

But it isn’t. 

You loved a tumbleweed, and they never stay anywhere for long. 

She isn’t coming back. 

III. gaea

She really did a number on you, didn’t she boy? 

She was always so difficult to please, i really don’t understand why you are so desperate to hold on, 

Was she really worth it? 

Did she really shift your world view like an earthquake turning your world upon its head? 

No, boy, that’s childs play. She didn’t do anything to your world view, 

You first love amateurs write sonnets about how she was “the one” and how you’ll never be whole without her. 

Amateurs. 

You loved her, and so you will love another some day. 

Heartbreak is not permanent. 

I do not last. 

IV. mars

You should get angry, 

But not angry enough to message her. 

Do not message her, boy. 

She will tear you down, and then tear you apart, and sift through the carnage of your heartbreak. 

And then ask you how you could have done this. 

She’ll sharpen her knife, carve a smile into your face and then cry if you tell her to stop. 

But you really should get angry, 

Realize she was never a sheep but a wolf, 

Realize she was a shark out to gut you. You were nothing. 

Realize she probably doesn’t even think about you, 

And how is that fair when you only ever think of her? 

Message her when you are less angry, 

Do not apologize. 

You’re allowed to ask why, 

But nothing more. 

Do not let her make excuses, you’ll quickly learn she’s entirely too good at them. 

V. jupiter

Travel.

I don’t mean pack your bags and go to Germany, 

Which you will entertain the idea of it simply to spite her, 

Do not follow through, it will only upset you. 

But travel.

Take an emotional journey to remind yourself that she was just one person. 

Let yourself feel. 

Cry in the shower to beyonce if it makes you feel better. 

Just remember you are only one person and you can’t make someone stay. 

Do not break yourself in the process. 

Do not call her because you know she will answer and her confused “hello?”

Will echo through the lines and across the miles and it won’t be worth it. 

You are not immune to her black hole concern yet. 

But you will be. 

VI. saturn

Shes going to fall in love again someday, 

And another person is going to take her hand as you did and kiss away the fear, 

And you’re going to hate her. 

And it’s going to hurt. 

But don’t forget you were that person once too. 

You’ll want to warn everyone away but you are better than that. 

Don’t collapse on yourself, 

Though I’m going to be honest, it’ll be hard not to. 

I will be there, offer you a hand and help you to your feet even though your knees are still weak. 

Delete her off of all social media. 

She is no longer a part of you. 

And that’s okay.

VII. georgiums Sidus

Keep your heart open for the unimaginable.

I can already hear your scoff and visualize your eye roll. 

But really.  

She didn’t ruin you, 

Even though you keep insisting on it. 

Heartbreak is like when the ink cartridge of a pen explodes, 

And it’s blue ink all over your hands, 

And the more you try to rid yourself of it the more it spreads. 

But the ink is dry now. You can wash your hands of me now. 

You can stop using me as a security blanket. 

Put yourself out there. 

VIII. neptune

The day you kiss her, you no longer think of her. (the heartbreak queen)

You have since forgotten the color of her eyes, and the way she takes her tea. 

You barely remember her name, let alone the sting of her heartbreak. 

The day you kiss her is ruby red, 

Like wine at a wedding in july, a joyous flavor of commitment. 

Every atom in your body gravitates towards her, 

And later when you’re alone you thank me and send me on my way. 

So I fade into the background and watch your life unfold, a pleased hum filling my body.

I was only here to help you heal, 

And i did. 

#my writing #not hp #poetry from 5 am #ugh fucking kill me #this dumb bitch is sad #writing #ae #uhhh words

[cryinginsidebecauseofbrutasha]

Day 7: Medicine (by Havelin if you want the inspiration)

Natasha watched the rain, sitting outside the compound in the refurbished greenhouse. It was her comfort space, sitting comfortably in the solace of blankets and fairy lights. It was small and cozy. No one knew about it.

Nat sighed.

They had lost a really bad fight between her team and a really enthusiastic branch of the Black Order, who had come back for vengeance, she assumed, and while, thankfully, there weren't any casualties, everyone was a little shaken up.

Natasha stared at her phone, screen dark, as she contemplated calling him.

On one hand, she might get a few words of sympathy. On the other, did Natasha really want a few words of sympathy?

Nat shook her head at herself, swallowing her pride. She went to her starred contacts list and pressed the top number. It rang once before he picked up.

"Nat?"

Natasha sighed. She didn't even know why she was holding her breath for him to answer. He had never left her hanging. "Hey, Bruce." She took a shaky breath. "How are you?"

The was a short silence before she heard a car door being closed. "I'm in my car," the scientist answered. "Are you at the greenhouse?"

Natasha exhaled a laugh. "How'd you know?"

"I just do." Bruce sounded rueful, but maybe it was just the audio quality. "What happened?"

Nat shook her head as if he could see her. "Just... the last mission. We didn't really... you know."

"Oh." The scientist didn't offer up the words of sympathy Natasha had wondered about. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Talk to you then?"

"Sure." Nat closed her eyes. "Hey, Bruce?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

There was a brief pause, then– "Anything."

Natasha smiled as she hung up.

A few minutes later, Bruce knocked on the greenhouse door.

"Come in!" she called.

Bruce stepped in and looked around. "You redecorated," he noted.

Natasha sent him a wry smile. "Well, I couldn't keep your quantum theory Pinterest board up here forever." She watched him sit down at the foot of her egg chair. "It's my resting place and it made my head hurt."

The scientist smiled softly. "I could teach you."

Nat rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean." She sighed, leaning back into her chair. "Things have been crazy."

"This week, month?" She opened her eyes to see Bruce watching her carefully. "You were out of reach for a while."

"This whole..." Natasha waved her hands around to try and convey the sheer vastness of crazy she experienced. "... Thing." She turned slightly to look at Bruce. "How are you?"

He shrugged. "I'm fine. Working on a project at the moment."

"About what?"

"Time travel." Bruce shifted in his seat. "I just wanted to try. I have schematics running right now. Uh, Tony's actually over here, with Morgan. We were hanging out."

Natasha blinked. "Oh my god." She sat up. "I interrupted you. I'm sorry."

Bruce shook his head. "It's fine. We weren't getting anywhere." He chuckled. "Plus, after Ultron, I had this safeguard installed so that once I leave the place for more than ten minutes, everything is self-contained. It won't break. Even with Tony and his baby with sticky fingers."

Natasha sighed.

They were both startled by Bruce's phone pinging.

He checked it and sighed. "On another hand... they could just figure it out." Bruce looked at Nat. "Do you need me to stay? I can have it set on a back burner for now. Time travel isn't urgent."

Natasha shrugged lightly. "Go do your time travel thing. I'll be fine."

Bruce looked unconvinced. "Tasha..."

His phone pinged again.

Bruce was halfway between sitting and standing.

Nat bit her lip. "Actually, could you stay a while?" she asked softly. "If you can."

"Of course I can." He sat back down, but Natasha pulled him up into the egg chair with her. "Back to our old habits, aren't we?" he commented with a small smile.

Nat returned with a shameless one.

They sat in a comfortable silence, squished next to each other even though the egg chair had plenty of empty space between them and the walls.

Natasha glanced at Bruce only to see him already looking at her.

"What?" he laughed quietly at her smirk.

"Nothing." Nat smiled to herself. She looked back to see him again, gazing at her. "You're staring."

"Is that so wrong?"

Nat rolled her eyes and linked their arms. "This reminds me of before the... you know." She leaned her head against Bruce's shoulder. "I think... maybe if I had tried a little harder, we might've been together still, right now."

He was still looking at her. "We could still try again. There's still time."

"According to who?"

"The world." She felt Bruce drop his head on hers. "We aren't dead yet."

Natasha laughed. "That doesn't give me a reasonable timeframe, you know."

"I made you laugh."

Nat huffed. "With your face, it's not that hard."

"Ouch."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Natasha got on her knees and sat back on her heels. "I think we should try again."

Bruce's smile widened. "Oh, really?" he asked.

"Give me one chance," Natasha said. "I don't deserve it, but give me just one chance."

The scientist curled his arm around her waist. "Who said you don't deserve it?"

"Me." Nat grinned up at him. "Are you going to send me to a psychiatrist?"

Bruce rolled his eyes affectionately. "Ha. At least you've stopped calling them 'shrinks'."

"I have."

"And it shows some growth."

Natasha sighed and looked Bruce in the eyes. "When I ended things... did I tell you why?"

"You said it was too much," he said. "Though you weren't very convincing, for a spy."

Nat settled into his arms. "That was part of it... but another part of me was scared of what would happen if I followed through on plan A."

Bruce smiled slightly, a little confused on the outside. "What was plan A?" he prompted.

"Telling you I loved you that night," Natasha confessed. "Over a romantic candlelit dinner and a bouquet of a dozen red roses."

"Aww. You're a romantic."

"Of course I am." Nat sighed. "It's a pain." She had a sudden moment of forgetfulness. "Why did I get you to come here again?"

Bruce chuckled. "You asked me how I was and I knew something was up so I just came."

"Typical." Natasha nudged him a little. "You're a romantic too. Running in the rain, 'I-remember-every-tiny-detail' kind of romantic. Though," she added with a smirk, "that can be translated that you're a creep."

Her scientist rolled his eyes. "Ha."

"It's true!" Nat grinned. "But hey, you fixed my headache. You're like my own personal brand of Tylenol."

Bruce laughed slightly. "Of course. I'm headache medicine."

"It's a compliment!"

"I have no doubt it is."

"I love you," Natasha blurted out. She immediately hung her head and whispered quietly to herself, "Fuck." She looked back up. "That was not how that was supposed to go."

Bruce smiled. "I love you too."

Natasha opened her mouth and closed it. "Th–thank you." She blinked. "Yeah."

"Tongue-tied?" he teased.

Nat batted his hand away annoyedly. "Shut up, Banner," she muttered.

"Anything."

--

Here's the song that inspired me today! It's called Medicine by Havelin. 

#bruce banner #natasha romanoff #brucenat #brutasha #the hulk #black widow #hulk #hulktasha #hulkwidow #banneroff #marvel #mcu #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #fanfic #vii’s 12 days of winter writing #fluff #avengers #avengers 2018 #endgame #endgame au #medicine #medicine by havelin #Spotify

[drops-of-moonlights]

WINX REDUX AU SCREAMING (Part VII)

HEY GUESS WHO REMEMBERED THIS WAS A THING I WAS WRITING. I focus on the girls’ families this time!

Mike and Vanessa are pretty much the same as in canon (kinda overprotective but not really fireman, collected and supportive florist), so not many changes here. I *am* going 4Kids on this, by which I mean Bloom does in fact know she’s adopted from the start. She would know of the circustances, and start piecing the fact that she’s not from Earth together thanks to that. (She would narrow down that she’s from Solenei, but not from which kingdom/country)

When we get to Oritel and Marion is when things get different. Daphne and Bloom (”Nina”, as Oritel sometimes call her, since that’s her birthname) are stepsisters, with different mothers. Marion’s Bloom, Daphne’s Lila. Lila was Oritel’s first wife and adquired the title of Princess as Oritel was not crowned yet. She was the Grand Fairy of Bouquets (having flower magic) and oversaw the Dominite Grand Garden all by herself with her magic. She died in an avalanche when Daphne was 12, and three years later Oritel married Marion. In the AU, Oritel is an alumni of Red Fountain and his armor was/is red with gold borders, while Marion is the Sorceress of the Dragon’s Roar (sound magic).

Radius and Luna were an arranged marriage between two childhood best friends, and while they love each other, it was never romantic. After too many arguments (the last one involved blame-shifting and it was in front of Stella after a particulary bad day of hers), they decide to finally divorce. Stella didn’t take it too well at first, but with time, she was able to accept it. By the start of S2, Luna would be dating a man named Allan, and during S3, Radius would announce his engagement with Count Alessandro. Both Luna and Radius are magi; Luna is the Witch of the Winter Moon (with ice powers) and Radius is the Fairy of the Burning Sun (with fire powers).

Antonio and Lisa (Tecna’s parents) are kinda workaholic, always focusing on their next big project and their meetings with the goverment as they work for them. They worked mostly at home, however, so while Tecna couldn’t always spend significant time with them, she was still able to see them during dinner and talk with them then. They also made sure to take a day off for her birthday. They aren’t Tecna’s biological parents - they adopted her when Tecna was not even a year old then.

Teredor and Niobe are not much different than in canon, other than being slightly more controlling and more set in their vision of how their children should act. Yes, children - Aisha has a little brother named Leandro in this AU, younger than her by 7 years. Teredor is a merman, making Aisha and Leandro half-merfolk. Niobe is the magi of the two, being the Witch of Weather. Leandro seems to have powers relating to fire, but he’s too young to choose a type of magi yet.

Allysa and Rodolfo (Flora’s parents) are also pretty similar than in canon, both helping and managing an animal sanctuary in Lynphea. Rodolfo is the magi, being the Fairy of Healing. As for Miele, she’s younger than Flora by three years, and while she wanted to be a fairy like her big sister wanted to when she was younger, she decided to become the Witch of Soil, befitting her power over the ground.

Huang and Matlin (Musa’s parents) met when they were in highschool, and have been dating since. Matlin was a singer who usually performed at local festivals, and Huang played the guitar for her songs, sometimes even performing duets with her. They also managed an instrument store together, being their main source of income. They had a boy they named Tian, and five years later they had Musa. Matlin died when Musa was 9, due to an illness that wasn’t able to be treated in time. They managed to stay afloat thanks to Tian getting a job shortly after, but they were still dealing with harsh times for a while, which made Musa be more careful with money. By the time Musa went to Alfea, things had stabilized. Tian now lives and works in Magix. Matlin was the magi of the two, being, fittingly enough, the Fairy of Music. Musa takes her title to honor her. Tian wasn’t born with any magical powers.

#in which I change names for no real reason other than they were lame and somewhat dated puns or because they fit better with the AU #Winx Club #Winx Redux AU #next will probably be Darkar and Valtor to start with the villains #Winx AU Screaming

[daleisgreat]

The Accountant

I have been anticipating doing today’s entry for awhile, but held off to put some distance behind my initial theatrical viewing two and a half years ago to see if 2016’s The Accountant (trailer) was still worthy of being ranked as my 2016 film of the year. After re-watching it yesterday I can safely assure it absolutely does. Another reason I was a little reluctant going back to it was being trepid of having rose-colored glasses for the time and place I originally saw The Accountant. I was on my last day of work before starting a vacation in fall of 2016 and on break I was skimming through the local paper’s entertainment section and it had a little write-up of The Accountant and its risks taken of doing a movie centered around a person with autism and making them a professional assassin. I somehow missed previews for it and it was the first I heard of the film. A couple friends who knew I was heading out of town the next day gave me a buzz after work to see if I wanted to join them to see The Accountant, and I was intrigued by the brief summary in the paper I read and have been a huge fan of Affleck for the better part of his career to jump on the opportunity. It turned out being a great decision and a perfect way to kickoff a vacation.

The film grabbed me right away with the opening scene where one Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck) is at his front, ‘ZZZ Accounting,’ doing the taxes for a down-on-their-luck farming couple. The way it plays out almost instantly made Christian affable for pulling the farmers out of a tough hole. The opening scenes proceed to introduce how Christian copes with his day-to-day lifestyle while we are introduced to a pair of FBI agents Ray King (JK Simmons) and Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) who is tasked with tracking down Wolff throughout the film. There are so many great little exchanges early in the film, especially when Wolff is getting acquainted with the rest of the cast. He is introduced to Lamar Blackburn (John Lithgow) who hires him to track down missing money recently reported to his company. Wolff’s scenes with the adorably aloof Dana Cummings (Anna Kendrick) steal the film every time they share the screen. Cummings is Wolff’s assistant in tracking down the missing money, and naturally their digging gets too deep and assassins are sent after them with the primary one going by Brax (a pre-Punisher Jon Bernthal). Little did the assassins know who they were targeting as their attempts at laying waste to the accountants is the catalyst that yields several thrilling action/chase sequences as a result.

Interspersed throughout the film is a series of flashbacks with Christian and his family coping with Christian’s condition and how his father put him through some grueling home therapy and training that lead him to become the ‘accountant’ he is in the film’s present day. It was fascinating watching these flashbacks play out and piecing The Accountant’s greater over-arching plot together along with the FBI in some excellent deducing scenes as everything falls into place. Most films have twists that we can predict or see coming from a mile away, but I loved how they played out in multiple ways in the closing moments to wrap a tidy bow on this. I do not want to overhype this as the quintessential brain-buster, but for me The Accountant provided the perfect balance of detective work, exposition, high-tempo chases and action that combined for the killer formula and make it my favorite film of 2016. There are only three quick bonus features on the BluRay totaling up to 25 minutes, but worth going out of your way to see. Both Inside the Man and Behavioral Sciencedeal with the cast and crew’s research that went into the film and how they strived to give a faithful portrayal of Autism. They both provided great insight on their experiences and sessions on doing their background for the film. Accountant in Action is all about the stunts and choreography for the movie. What is here is good, but the extra features felt they were missing one or two things to make the bonuses collectively pop like a commentary track with Affleck, Kendrick, Simmons and director Gavin O’Connor, but it was not meant to be!

On a final note I want to make sure to applaud the casting for this film as O’Connor got excellent performances out of everyone. When doing research for this film I became giddy to see a sequel was announced with most of the headlining cast returning and O’Connor coming back to direct, but that was two years ago and when checking IMDB the sequel is still listed as merely ‘announced.’ Here is hoping the sequel comes to fruition, and if you cannot tell by now The Accountant gets my highest of recommendations to check out if you have not done so already. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Man of Steel Man on the Moon Marine 3-6 Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Days of Future Past

#random movie #the accountant #ben affleck #anna kendrick #JK Simmons #john lithgow #Jon Bernthal #cynthia addai-robinson #gavin o'connor

[callunavulgari]

“In the past I lay out on the land Stretched my legs felt my chest expand If we could flow together someday Then we will float away”

Heather’s Top 25 50 Songs of 2018!

guts — alex winston // sweet dreams — mark hadley // africa — toto // go to war — nothing more // smallest light — ingrid michaelson // my friends — oh wonder // knocking on heaven’s door — raign // rememberance — balmorhea // hazy shade of winter — hidden citizens // time after time — joseph william morgan // live in the moment — portugal. the man // killmonger — ludwig goransson // daddy issues — the neighbourhood // no roots — alice merton // run for your life — k.flay // play with fire — sam tinnesz // the sailor song — autoheart // warrior — steve james // IV. sweatpants — childish gambino // hello — via audio // daddy — emeli sande // paradise valley — honey and the sting // attila the king — nick glennie-smith // foolish — lauren shippen // experience — ludovico einaudi // singing in the rain — through juniper vale //  hello stranger — barbara lewis // end credits suite — nicholas britell // ahead by a century — the tragically hip // achilles come down — gang of youths // without you — leslie odom jr. // natural — imagine dragons // sky full of song — florence & the machine // broken people — logic & rag’n’bone man // flesh and bone — black math // nina cried power— hozier // kol nidrey — the yuval ron ensemble //  stronger — the score // rise like a phoenix — conchita wurst // heroes — mans zelmerlow // cut to the feeling — carly rae jepson // the greatest show — hugh jackman // the plains/bitter dancer — fleet foxes // always starting over — idina menzel // if i could turn back time — cher // new rules — dua lipa // fernando — cher // it’s quiet uptown — kelly clarkson // movement — hozier // seasons of love — rent cast

short version | long version

so, fun fact. if you start a playlist in january and add a song every time you really love it or find yourself listening to it a lot, by december you find yourself with... a very, very large playlist. 261 songs, 17 hours and 17 minutes large to be precise. which hey, last year the mix was 262 so that’s a pretty spot on average.

i sort of prefer the long one, but i mean, hey. there’s large playlists, and then there’s listing all 261 songs. so i broke it down into a moderately more digestible abridged version with only 50 songs. if you want the original playlist, the link is there. have fun. til then though, here’s my 50 most played.

i. guts || alex winston i know you're a liar, throw me into the fire man i should have known, i should have known god damn you're a liar, threw me into the fire

This song is one of those where the catchy jingle sort of hides that the meat of it is relatively dark. It’s a gorgeous song, one that I listened to for most of January, and off and on throughout the rest of the year. Alex Winston’s voice is like a dream. ii. sweet dreams || mark hadley ft. dresage Hold your head up Keep your head up, movin' on

This song I actually listened to a lot at the tale end of 2017, because it was released as part of the Wrinkle In Time trailer and it was absolutely gorgeous. This year, I found it on a Stranger Things fanvid and it’s been on my Stranger Things mix ever since.

iii. africa || toto I hear the drums echoing tonight But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation She's coming in, 12:30 flight The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation

Speaking of songs that are on my Stranger Things playlist... I’m kind of at a loss as to why this got so freaking popular this year. I mean, it is a truly dope song and I’m super fond of it but like. Was it Stranger Things? Did it just become that anthem of the year? For me, it was that I wrote fanfiction to it and also we played it on loop while we were playing beer liquor pong on vacation. It was... super surreal. iv. go to war || nothing more Hush, my baby, make no sound Maybe we can wait each other out It's a cold war Let's go to war So, this song I actually heard driving home from my friend Alex’s after marathoning a few episodes of The Flash and it just hit me super hard. I mean, it’s a great song for my kind of ships, but also, it’s just a great song. v. smallest light || ingrid michaelson Just because you don't see us Doesn't mean that we don't exist Sometimes the smallest light Shines so bright I think I originally found this song on the Watercast playlist on spotify? And I really liked it, because I like most of the songs on that playlist, but like. I was driving to work one day and like, just got hit with the biggest plot bunny for Will and El as siblings. And like, I just had that bunny and this song percolating in my head for the rest of the day, and the song just kind of stuck with me. This song is Will and El’s anthem. vi. my friends || oh wonder Can I beat within your heart? Can I bleed within your love? Oh my friends

Okay, so like show of hands- who here has read We Were Liars? This is a mostly hypothetical question because I’m not sure anyone actually pays attention to these anymore but I like them, so fuck it. Point is, I was listening to the watercast playlist a lot while reading that book and this song was playing when we made certain discoveries that most of us had already guessed, and it made me cry. vii. knocking on heaven’s door || raign It's gettin' dark, too dark to see I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

This fanvid happened around the time I was writing that Will and El as siblings fic and I basically played it and the video that inspired the next song on the list on repeat until I finished. This cover is lovely and haunting and just, such a freaking earworm.

viii. remembrance || balmorhea instrumental Yeah, this is the video. I actually used this song in a fanvid of my own a couple years ago, when I got to make a fanvid for @iki-teru​‘s fantastic Yuffie-centric fic All Through the Circling Years which... I can no longer find, so maybe it was taken down? Either way, I loved the song immensely before, but that fanvid with Hopper is so fucking tragic and beautiful. ix. hazy shade of winter || hidden citizens Seasons change with the scenery Weaving time in a tapestry Won't you stop and remember me

There... are a lot of songs on here that are also on my Stranger Things playlist. And I’m a sucker for haunting covers. x. time after time || joseph william morgan If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting Time after time This is the last of the Stranger Things songs. Well, at least the last of the ones that aren’t Harringrove related. Another fanvid that caught me off guard, because just. Damn. There are so many beautiful fanvids for this fandom, it kills me dead. xi. live in the moment || portugal. the man Come back Sunday morning With that soul to sell When you're gone Goodbye, so long, farewell Not 100% sure where I first heard this one, but it stayed with me for a good portion of the spring and summer. I discovered their song feel it still around this time last year too, so clearly they’re just a real good jam for when you want to feel the sun on your back. xii. killmonger || ludwig goransson instrumental

There are a couple songs from the Black Panther soundtrack on the longer version of this mix, three from the score and one, maybe two from the credits. I freaking loved that movie so damn much, but it’s soundtrack blew my goddamn mind. It is literally all I listened to for weeks, and this song in particular fucked me right the hell up. Just listen to the flutes and the bass. Just, damn. Killmonger, you’ve got the best theme in the entire movie. xiii. daddy issues || the neighbourhood I'd do whatever I could do I'd run away and hide with you I love that you got daddy issues And I do too And heeeere it is. This was the first song that I associated with Harringrove for uh, very obvious reasons. Definitely had this and a few others on repeat whenever I had to write sexy scenes for the boys. xiv. no roots || alice merton I like digging holes and hiding things inside them When I'll grow old, I hope I won't forget to find them 'Cause I've got memories and travel like gypsies in the night

This song hits the same part of me that fell absolutely in love with Guts when I first heard it. Alice Merton’s voice is just fantastic. xv. run for your life || k.flay Bite off the venomous head Follow the chemical scent Look for the hole in the fence Take everything you demand

I got to see K.Flay in concert sometime late last year, and even though I didn’t know her very well (I told my friend that I’d see K.Flay with him if he saw Glass Animals with me) her music was sweet enough that I could appreciate the concert even knowing none of the songs. Let me tell you though, I fucking wish she’d played this song then because holy fuck. xvi. play with fire || sam tinnesz Insane, inside the danger gets me high Can't help myself got secrets I can't tell I love the smell of gasoline I light the match to taste the heat Kuroshitsuji is something I haven’t really thought about in like half a decade. And then I ended up seeing this vid while I was waiting for my connecting plane to arrive so I could go see my family. I only saw the damn thing because it was made by the same person who did this one, which I hunted down because I was reading Yuri On Ice fic on the plane and the point is: pingvi is amazing and all of their vids are a goddamn delight. xvii. the sailor song || autoheart I was your sailor, your demon Your lover, your overbearing best friend Hoping for some attention

So, while I was down visiting my family sometime during the spring, I had a brief dizzying spiral where I fell head over face into the Pacific Rim fandom, because Uprising quite emphatically fucked me up. Anyway, because of this I spent the night after I saw it scrolling through fanart and reading half a decade old fanfiction while my brother was trying to make me pay attention to him. And yeah, that’s how I found this art and listened to this song for like the rest of the fucking year. xviii. warrior || steve james I got my head high, my chest out, my eyes open wide I got no fear, got no doubt and, god, I feel alive I'm not stopping for ya, I'm a fucking warrior

My brother showed me a bunch of fanvids on my first day down there, but my favorite was this one, because I’d recently watched Little Witch Academia and this was so freaking cute and all kinds of lovely. xix. iv. sweatpants || childish gambino Rich kid, asshole: paint me as a villain

Another thing that happened to me that week was the discovery of lipgallagher’s fantastic harringrove fic (shoot the lights out, hide) till its bright out. Which is all kinds of great and lead me to this song and the realization that Donald Glover does music? xx. hello || via audio How could it be Someone could find me Too scary to say hello to This was one of the songs on Damien’s fanmix from The Bright Sessions. And because The Bright Sessions suckerpunched me with feelings, I spent like a month straight listening to that mix and getting into that garbage man’s headspace. It was wonderful. xxi. daddy || emeli sande He's out your system yeah it took you a while You got your family back and you got your smile And you promised your sister that you'd never go back again I spent the better half of this year shipping Harringrove and Mark/Damien, which are both ships that are... well, not exactly the healthiest of relationships. Mark/Damien fucking ruined me. Listening to the last bit of The Bright Sessions was basically physically painful because like, okay. Logically I know that Damien is a garbage person. But also, he’s got a shitty power that would lead to some pretty interesting moral dilemmas even if you were a normal nice person (cough cough Mark), and like. They’re both so fucked up and Damien is so in love with Mark even if he’s not entirely sure how to be a fucking person and I have never had a pairing come after me as hard as this one did. Like it really came after me. Anyway, this was my true Damien/Mark anthem, because it’s fucking perfect and awful and fantastic and I just want them back in my life, guys.

xxii. paradise valley || honey and the sting In the past I lay out on the land Stretched my legs felt my chest expand If we could flow together someday Then we will float away

This here is my most played track of 2018. I first heard it during the special two hour episode of Wolf 359 and the whole end of that episode just blew my mind. So I immediately went to spotify, found it, and have basically listened to it all year since then. It helps that Nick loves it too, so every once in a while he’ll be playing it, which reminds me why I love it and just. It’s so soulful and beautiful.

xxiii. attila the king || nick glennie-smith instrumental

Yeah, I literally have no idea how this made it to the top 50 much less the top five, but apparently it did. It is really good writing music, but still.

xxiv. foolish || lauren shippen The impossible happens every day No matter what you do it won’t go away Don’t ask for more But then what are you waiting for

This was my year for podcasts - in one year I fell in love with Wolf 359, The Bright Sessions, and EOS 10 all over again when it came back for its third season. Near the end of the series though, The Bright Sessions did a musical episode! I listened to it in my car on my way to work and basically spent the entire freaking time smiling like an idiot. Truly my favorite episode. xxv. experience || ludovico einaudi instrumental

The Sense8 finale came out in June and it was absolutely wonderful. This song was playing during the last scene of the series and I fucking cried my eyes out. The song itself is fucking gorgeous, but what’s more is it made that last scene so much more than it would have been if they’d chosen any other song. It truly was, and forgive the corniness, a fucking experience. xxvi. singing in the rain || through juniper I'm singin' in the rain Just singin' in the rain What a glorious feeling I'm happy again I went through a phase in June-July where I checked out a bunch of old movies from the library. The first one was Philadelphia, because it was mentioned in the musical episode of The Bright Sessions and I just really wanted to watch it? But I also picked up Singing In The Rain, because I’d never seen it before and just, damn. I watched it before work and it was raining that day and the drive to work was the most fun because I just listened to different covers of the song and sang my heart out, and I was just so damn happy. It was dumb, and nice, and it probably going to be one of my happiest memories that I take with me into the new year. xxvii. hello stranger || barbara lewis Hello, stranger (ooh) It seems so good to see you back again How long has it been? (ooh, seems like a mighty long time)

I also watched Moonlight sometime in late June. It was one of those quiet nights where nothing really seems good enough, where you feel just a little bit empty inside and nothing is helping. So I watched the movie and read @notbecauseofvictories​‘s A Cornstalk Fiddle on my back porch afterwards and the movie combined with the fic and the music turned that quiet empty night into something just as quiet, but a million times more full. Another good memory from 2018 that’ll stay with me for awhile.

xxviii. end credits suite | nicholas britell instrumental From the end credits of Moonlight - I played both this and Hello Stranger on repeat while I finished up the fic I mentioned above.

xxix. ahead by a century | the tragically hip No dress rehearsal This is our life

I watched Anne With An E. I was sad a lot at the time, and got to a part early on in the second season that kind of lead me into an uncomfortable headspace so I actually still haven’t finished it? But it was really nice for awhile, and I hope to go back and finish it sometime.

xxx. achilles come down | gang of youths Just humour us, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won’t you get up off, get up off the roof?

I’m not 100% sure where I found this song either? My gut reaction is that it was a song I found while I was reading either The Cruel Prince or The Goblin Emperor, but I’m not sure. Good song, though.

xxxi. without you | leslie odom jr. The earth turns The sun burns But I die Without you

Oh man, I found this cover one night while I was reading, and like, I was reading, so at first I didn’t really process what I was hearing, just that it was familiar and that I liked it. And then my brain connected the dots and I looked up and saw that it was a cover by Leslie Odom Jr and immediately restarted the song and just listened.

xxxii. natural | imagine dragons Deep inside me, I'm fading to black, I'm fading Took an oath by the blood of my hand, won't break it I can taste it, the end is upon us, I swear Yeah. I like Imagine Dragons. Honestly though - this one might not have made the cut if I hadn’t heard it a few months later on an EOS 10 playlist.

xxxiii. sky full of song | florence & the machine Grab me by my ankles I've been flying for too long I couldn't hide from the thunder In the sky full of song So, a while back there was that video going around where Florence literally sang this song while a storm started up around her, and like, that was the first time I heard this song? That was the first I heard that she even came out with a new album, so I basically sat down and listened to the whole thing, but this one was still my favorite.

xxxiv. broken people | logic & rag’n’bone man Broken we ain't beaten There's no glory in defeat We won't fall into the cracks between our streets

I uh, may have watched a couple fanvids after Infinity War. This was one of them.

xxxv. flesh and bone | black math Break the truth inside of me Climbed down to hell on the devil’s tree I clutched a branch of soot and flame The thought that rose, to scorch my feet

I walk alone Beside myself Nowhere to go

This was another.

xxxvi. nina cried power | hozier It's not the song, it is the singin' It's the heaven of the human spirit ringin' It is the bringin' of the line It is the bearin' of the lie It's not the wakin', it's the risin'

So last year Take Me To Church made it to my Top 38 or whatever I had it narrowed down to, mostly because I went through a Les Mis phase. But I kind of joked on that post last year about Hozier releasing an album next year and how unlikely it was, and lo, here we have it. Maybe not a full length album, but five new beautiful songs.

xxxvii. kol nidrey | the yuval ron ensemble Nidrana lo nidrei, V'essarana lo essarei Ush'vuatana lo shevuot. Maggie Stiefvater posted this song to her blog a couple months ago and I was really fond of it. It’s incredibly beautiful.

xxxviii. stronger | the score I do this with conviction I write truths and never fiction My disease is what you fed I can't stop with my ambition

Oh look, another Marvel fanvid.

xxxix. rise like a phoenix || conchita wurst I rise up to the sky You threw me down but I'm gonna fly So honestly, basically the rest of the mix are songs from Ryan’s OR mix which is an official EOS 10 playlist. It’s phenomenal, and I basically spent all of October and some of November getting stuck on various songs in the mix. xl. heroes || mars zelmerlow Don't tell the gods I left a mess I can't undo what has been done Let's run for cover

Yup. Giving me feels and also super catchy.

xli. cut to the feeling | carly rae jepson Ah, I wanna cut through the clouds, break the ceiling I wanna dance on the roof, you and me alone I wanna cut to the feeling, oh yeah Okay, but like - why did nobody tell me that Carly Rae Jepson had other songs and they were super fucking catchy? I spent the last few days of being a waitress driving to work blaring this and the last two songs and it did fucking wonders for my mood.

xlii. the greatest show | hugh jackman Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for (woah) Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor (woah) And buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore Taking your breath, stealing your mind And all that was real is left behind

Breaking news, The Greatest Showman was amazing and I cried. I fucking missed hearing Hugh Jackman sing, and like the fucking lead up, of starting the movie with this song and then ENDING it with this song, with that performance, with those fucking lines (this is the moment you’ve waited for) - was so goddamn energizing. I just could not fucking deal.

xliii. the plains/bitter dancer | fleet foxes I should have known one day you would come All of us walk so blind in the sun Midnight feeder, beggar pleader

Okay, okay. So there's this playlist called Wet Black Leaves that I listened to a lot when I started my new job, throughout rainy October and November, everything was just a little too wet and a little too cold, and this whole mix is so atmospheric and gorgeous. I absolutely adore it.

xliv. always starting over | idina menzel Am I always Starting over? In a brand new story Am I always Back at one After all I've done?

The finale of Wolf 359 fucked everyone up, right? Yeah, obviously. Okay, well the final episode of season 3 of EOS 10 also fucked me right the hell up. Like we’re talking messy crying in the car on the way to your like second or third day at the new job. Anyway, I kind of spiraled and then I went back and listened to Ryan’s mix and found this song and just wanted to kick my heart around for awhile.

xlv. if i could turn back time | cher If I could reach the stars I'd give 'em all to you Then you'd love me, love me, like you used to do If I could turn back time MESSY CRYING. But like, I also really like this song. So MESSY CRYING and also screaming all these words as loudly as I can within the relatively safe confines of my car. I guarantee you that people next to me at stop lights thought that I’d gone through a messy breakup.

xlvi. new rules | dua lipa Three: Don't be his friend You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him Okay, but also some of the Ryan songs were catchy in a not heart breaking way, unless you think about the untold story of what exactly went on between Ryan and Akmazian and fill in the blanks and break your own heart.

xlvii. fernando | cher There was something in the air that night The stars were bright, Fernando They were shining there for you and me

Cher did an entire cover album of Abba songs in like, late October, I think? And like, my little gay heart fucking exploded and I listened to Cher singing ABBA songs for like three whole weeks and it was fucking fantastic. This... was actually not my favorite of the bunch until I went into a Barnes and Noble to pick up a copy of The Wise Man’s Fear and had a completely transformative experience when I heard it playing softly over the stacks.

xlviii. it’s quiet uptown | kelly clarkson If I could spare his life If I could trade his life for mine He’d be standing here right now And you would smile, and that would be enough

And after a brief detour into delightful cher/abba combinations we’re back to tragic EOS 10 songs. Additionally, I’m sick of Hamilton songs fucking me up. I get to see it in person in 2019 and I’m going to make a fool of myself when I cry my eyes out in front of Nick and our friends.

xlix. movement | hozier So move me, baby Shake like the bough of a willow tree You do it naturally

And just when I thought we were just going to get the four songs out of Hozier in 2018, we got this gem, which I think I like more than all the others.

l. seasons of love | rent cast Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes How do you measure the life Of a woman or a man?

I will never be over this song. I will never be over this musical. Merry Christmas, guys.

#heather says what #music makes the world go round #fuck yeah fanmixes #new year's memes #2018

[ktrsvo]

if youre free, can you pls write something tododeku? can be about anything! childhood au stuff, idk

*smashes head onto keyboard*. here’s a super quick one, i had an hour to kill (it’s 12 now damn)

i’ll give you sheltersort of childhood friends au???1.2k

i. you

They are six when Izuku first holds out the umbrella for him.

The sky is a matte-grey colour, silver-streaked, and there are thunderclouds looming over the horizon. Winds howl. Cars zoom by. Out here, it is very cold, and Shouto is very scared. He does not know where he is. Does not know what he should be doing.

The bruises on his arms seem to get more painful with every gust of air, every raindrop. His father was angry at him today, and Shouto is sure his temper will only worsen once he finds out that Shouto has run away. Maybe he’ll rupture a vein in the process. Maybe.

Hopefully.

Hours crawl by - slowly. The world only darkens, and Shouto is thinking of crying, after all.

Suddenly, the rain turns hushed, muted, and then a boy with green, green hair and even greener eyes is looking down at him. There’s a smile on his face that is warm, welcoming. Like sunlight.

“You’re lost, aren’t you?” the boy says. His face is half-shadowed from the umbrella over their heads.

The wetness on Shouto’s face dries.

The boy starts talking about many things that Shouto, later on, will not remember much of. Most of the words come in one ear, and go out the other.

But Shouto will always remember the kindness in his voice. The steadiness, the surety. The gentleness of his introduction: “I’m Izuku, by the way. And I’ll help you get home.”

That is the only thing that matters, now.

ii. me

It is Shouto’s ninth birthday when he runs away again.

No one seems to realize his absence back at home; his father is away at a meeting. His sister is with her friends. His brothers are sleeping. And his mother is gone. Has been for a long time, now.

It’s a lonely occasion. Shouto watches snow gather on the trees, roads, sidewalks. He forms white clouds with his exhales. He peers out over a frozen lake, watches the colours of a winter sunset splay on the ice. Blue, grey, orange.

And then there he is again, this time clad in a soft pale kimono, with a sash tied around his waist. A long bandage wrapped around his arm. A sunburst imprinted on his cheek.

“What a small world,” Midoriya Izuku is saying to Shouto, as Shouto’s eyes widen in surprise. “Never thought we’d meet again, huh?”

He looks a little bit older, but he is just as warm as Shouto remembers him. Just as sunlit. Brilliant.

Shouto asks, “Why are you here?”

“I could ask the same thing.” An umbrella twirls over Izuku’s head. It is a riot of colour against the grey. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you. Not anymore. I’ll help you find your way.”

Izuku extends his hand towards Shouto.

Their fingers brush, and sunlight seems to wash over Shouto - golden as honey and just as sweet.

Shouto is not afraid.

iii. it’s a long way forward

There are four items on the desk. A key the shape of a blown-glass vase. A wooden superhero figurine with notches etched along the base. A stained notebook with the musky scent of petrichor. A wilted blossom, the petals a bright cornflower blue at the center then deepening into indigo.

Izuku’s favourite flower.

Shouto picks the blossom up. Holds it against the nighttime.

Stardust. Moonlight. The flower seems to be made of them both, too. It is a reminder that Shouto will never be alone. The night may be a lonely time to be up and about, but he knows that his friend is always nearby.

He holds it to his nose. Inhales. It is the sweetest smell he’s ever known.

There’s a hand on Shouto’s shoulder.

“Do you like it?” Izuku asks, stepping out of the shadows. The stars reflected in his eyes pulse, glow.

“Thank you,” Shouto says.

Izuku smiles. “Happy birthday,” he says, pressing another flower to Shouto’s hand. “Save it, okay? The flowers bloom only once a year. Once around the sun, or so the legend claims.”

Shouto’s throat tightens. “You’ll be back soon, right?”

“Of course,” Izuku says. It sounds like a promise.

Shouto will always, always wait for him.

Izuku does not disappoint.

iv. trust in me

They are thirteen when Izuku shows him the universe.

He closes his palms over Shouto’s eyes, and Shouto can see everything. The deep sea creatures in the ocean, phosphorescent, glowing. A slender keen-eyed jack rabbit wending its way around a copse. The clicking and groaning of droid machinery being pulled apart, all hissing filaments and rusted herringbone gears. The lingering smoke trail of a half-burnt cigarette left out on an ashtray by a father’s split-knuckled hand.

It is overwhelming. Too much to handle.

“I’m sorry,” Shouto says, and for a moment it feels like it’s raining again.

“Don’t be,” Izuku says, brushing a calloused thumb over the curve of Shouto’s cheekbone.

A teardrop glistens on the tip of Izuku’s nail. Shouto looks away.

v. i’ll be silent beside you

Shouto is sixteen when he has new friends. They are all strong, capable, smart - and just as dedicated as he is. The arena is packed that day, and everyone watches, hears.

Izuku eyes him from the shadows. Always present, always there.

Somehow, it starts raining. People clear out - but Shouto’s friends hang back so they can leave together.

“Go to them,” Izuku says. “They’re waiting.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” Shouto says.

Izuku says, quietly, “They all do, one day.” There’s something profoundly sad in his tone, his expression. Shouto thinks he knows what he means.

Shouto tells his friends they can go without him. Then he falls into step beside Izuku, who spins the handle of the umbrella. “Not today,” Shouto says.

There’s a small, half-choked laugh.

vi. when i’m older

Shouto trains. He fights. He studies. He learns new things everyday. The hydrocarbon composition of far-off exoplanets. Different parts of a knife, the bolster, the spine, the bevel, and the choin, pins and rivets. The anatomy of a lock, the architecture of a citadel. The newest husband of some top-tier celebrity.

(His friends have very eclectic interests, it seems.)

Shouto is growing up.

It’s an odd process, really.

Metamorphosis always is.

vii. and i know, i’m not alone

They are seventeen when Shouto first holds out the umbrella for him.

“What’s it like to live?” Izuku asks him as they are walking down a streetway.

The inner district of the city is relatively empty this time of the day. Clear of the usual diesel fumes and chatter and the trundle of transit vehicles. Maybe that’s why Izuku’s words register more boldly on Shouto’s mind.

“What kind of a question is that?” Shouto says, unsure of how to respond.

“You know what I mean.”

Shouto does know.

“Maybe it’s time for me to go, Shouto,” Izuku says, quietly.

They stop before a traffic sign. The lights flash red.

“But I want you to stay,” Shouto says. “I need you.” I want you.

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Please,” Shouto says.

Shouto and Izuku. Izuku and Shouto.

Izuku is smiling at him, sadly, and Shouto knows he is thinking of the years they have left. They don’t have forever, after all.

“I’ll get you home,” Izuku murmurs.

Shouto can’t stop himself. “But you are my home, Izuku.”

The lights flash green. It is time to go.

Izuku’s hand grips Shouto’s own, tightly, as though afraid Shouto will disappear soon. It also feels a lot like an “I love you,” and it will have to be enough for now.

It starts pouring again. This time, Shouto holds the umbrella for both of them.

#my writing

[sleemo]

Force For Thought

Producer Ram Bergman tells Richard Edwards how The Last Jedi is pushing the boundaries of a Star Wars movie. — SFX Magazine, Winter 2017

Usually when SFX speaks to a filmmaker a couple of months ahead of their blockbuster’s release, they're hectically running around fiddling with scores, signing off the colour grading, or making a last dash to finalise effects shots. So it’s something of a surprise when The Last Jedi producer Ram Bergman tells SFX, “We finished the movie, there’s just clean-ups here and there, working on the DVD, press, things like that. But the film’s basically done.”

We’re going to take that as a big positive ahead of Episode VIII's arrival - along with the fact that all of the behind-the-scenes buzz around the project has been, well, good.

We’re the first to admit that big studios aren’t generally in the habit of spreading anything but messages of harmony and love ahead of their blockbusters landing in cinemas, but the rebooted Star Wars galaxy has had to deal with more than its fair share of backstage shenanigans since Disney bought the keys to the Millennium Falcon back in 2012. Indeed, from all the (not officially confirmed) rumours about Gareth Edwards’s diminished role on Rogue One to full-on director swaps on Episode IX and Han’s solo movie Solo, it’s only JJ Abrams on The Force Awakens and now The Last Jedi writer/director Rian Johnson who’ve made it to the end in one piece.

“Rian wrote the script and people really loved it,” Bergman recalls. “That was as simple as I can say. When Rian was hired, JJ was essentially just a month into filming, so there were not really any guidelines for us - we just had the script that JJ was filming and dailies of what they were doing. Then at some point in the writing process, we basically told the studio where it’s going to go and everybody seemed to be on board. It was the month after JJ finished filming the movie when we delivered the script, and Kathy [Kennedy, Lucasfilm head] and the studio loved it. The first draft is probably 90% of the movie that we ended up shooting a year later.”

For anyone looking into that galaxy far, far away, that seems like a wise strategy. With high-school noir Brick and tricksy time-travel thriller Looper - two of the most memorable films of the 21st century - Johnson proved himself to be a quirky, idiosyncratic auteur with a great ear for snappy dialogue. Why hire such an exciting talent - albeit one who has no previous experience of a mega-budget blockbuster - and ask him to churn out another studio sequel, unless you’re desperate to play safe? But was there ever a danger that Johnson might have pushed the story too far?

“There were some things where you say, ‘Oh shit, they’re never going to let us do this!’ but they totally did, and I think everybody realised that it’s probably what it needed.” says Bergman. “And everybody was like, ‘Don’t be safe.’ To the credit of Kathy, and Bob Iger and Alan Horn [Disney CEO and chairman, respectively] and all those guys, they never tried to push us towards the safe. Whatever we pitched, whatever Rian said he wanted to do, they completely supported, and I think they understood why it needed to be that way. So definitely, Rian had the vision, but you have to give credit to the people on top; they had the vision to actually say yes, we need to shake it up a bit ”

Of course, that screwing with a formula includes Johnson’s much publicised approach to Luke Skywalker, which famously prompted star Mark Hamill to tell his director, “I pretty much fundamentally disagree with every choice you’ve made for this character.”

“I think when you watch the movie, you think this is not where I thought it was going to go,” Bergman tells SFX. “That’s the beauty of it. I cannot get into the details, but the script that Rian wrote was really taking it in a direction you never really expected, and which kind of made it exciting for everyone who was involved in the movie. But of course in the beginning it was hard for Mark, especially coming from Episode VII [where he barely appeared], which also was a bit hard for him.”

STAR LORE

While every previous Star Wars episode has been preceded by an in-universe gap of at least a year (anything from the 12 months or so between The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi, to the three decades separating Jedi and The Force Awakens), The Last Jedi breaks with tradition by picking up exactly where its predecessor left off. It's a move Bergman reckons was something of a no-brainer.

“There wasn’t any deliberation,” he says. “Immediately when you saw the end of The Force Awakens, with the cliffhanger, you knew you wanted to know what happens right after that moment. It wasn't even a question.”

That decision, however, adds to a tricky dilemma - how do you explain away 30-plus years of backstory, without playing around with Star Wars storytelling convention by adding numerous flashbacks? (The closest the saga has ever come is Rey’s vision in Episode VII, and that was effectively a cheat because it was driven by the Force.)

It's certainly information that can't be brushed under the carpet. For starters, we need to know the identity of Rey's parents; how Supreme Leader Snoke came to run the First Order; what made the former Ben Solo hook up with the Knights of Ren; and how Maz Kanata got her hands on the lightsaber Luke lost at Bespin. It would also be handy to learn why gigantic evil organisations with galactic domination on their minds keep on building colossal battle stations with easily identifiable fatal flaws.

“You definitely think about [how to supply that information],” admits Bergman. “Again, I can't tell you how, but I think when people see the movie they’ll basically understand to a large degree what happened in between. But not everything is going to be answered...”

REY OF LIGHT

Perhaps the other biggest mission for The Last Jedi to negotiate is the sheer volume of core characters - the biggest principal cast in Star Wars movie history. Okay, the late Han Solo’s no longer a concern - or is he? We don't know yet if Harrison Ford’s been tempted to return for a back-from-the-dead Corellian cameo – but Episode VIII not only has to service original stars Luke, Leia, Chewbacca, R2-D2 and C-3PO, and The Force Awakens stars Rey, Finn, Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren and BB-8, but also newcomers Rose Tico, DJ and Vice-Admiral Amilyn Holdo. And there will probably be more we don’t know about yet.

“It’s definitely a challenge, because this movie does have more characters than previous movies,” says Bergman. “But at the end of the day you kind of figure out who are the main characters carrying the main story, and you make sure you give arcs to tell the story of other characters. You don’t have 10 hours in a movie, you only have a limited amount of time, so how you tell the story of all those characters is the tricky part. I think Rian delivered.”

And then there's the bantha in the room, the small matter of a previous second instalment in a Star Wars trilogy that’s frequently held up among the best part twos of all time - and no, we’re not talking about Attack Of The Clones. The Empire Strikes Back got so much right that it must be tempting to just use that as your template and be done with it - much as The Force Awakens riffed heavily on A New Hope.

“You look at it, and you look at all the movies, but by the same token you put it aside and you say let’s do what’s right for this movie,” Bergman counters. “Let’s forget about the expectation, let’s do what’s right for the structure of this movie. You stop looking at the other movies as a reference. You tell the story of this movie as it is. Are there things that would be similar? For sure, but by the same token, it’s not. You’re not consciously saying you're making something different or similar - you’re just trying to tell the best story in the best way.” Hopefully the Force really is strong with this one. 

— SFX Magazine, Winter 2017

#this took foreverrrr #and there are still more to do #* #uploads #interview #ram bergman #rian johnson #kathleen kennedy #the last jedi #star wars #long post