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twh-news · 3 years

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How Loki's big finale reveal failed Marvel fans | Digital Spy

Loki finale spoilers follow.

Marvel used to have a major villain problem. Throughout Phases One and Two, Earth's Mightiest Heroes fought cookie-cutter bad guys who just wanted to get rich or take over the world. Loki and Bucky were the only exceptions to this because of their personal connections to Thor and Cap.

Phase Three began to build on this idea with fan favourites like Ragnarok's Hela and Black Panther’s Erik Killmonger. Both of them committed terrible acts, sure, but their plights were also understandable to some degree, and even relatable.

With the advent of Marvel TV on Disney+, Phase Four has developed this approach even further by putting anti-heroes front and centre in each of their own shows. Even Wanda, a full-fledged Avenger, is forced to reckon with her own morality in light of what she did to Westview. And that's been integral to the success of these shows, which each unpack what it means to be a hero in ways that no other Marvel project has ever attempted on screen.

But by centring the so-called "antagonists" like this, a different kind of villain problem has risen, like a seemingly dead baddie who thrusts one hand up from the grave just as the credits start to roll.

Since Loki's very first episode, there's been endless speculation on who the Big Bad might be. The mysterious Loki variant who showed up to kill TVA soldiers was perhaps the most likely candidate at first, but things took a surprising twist with that Lady Loki reveal (although given that betrayal at the end, Sylvie certainly did make a good case for her being the show's true Big Bad).

And then of course, other villainous candidates soon raised their heads. Everyone from Ravonna and the Time Keeepers to Alioth and President Loki all played a "bad" role to some degree. Loki's willingness to tackle the greyer areas of morality has been a strength of this show. But throughout the first five episodes, there was always this idea that someone else, someone "bigger" was waiting in the wings, controlling the TVA from a distance.

The penultimate episode leaned heavily into this idea with a final shot that practically begged fans to speculate about who could be hiding away in that castle beyond time. And then the finale arrived with the big reveal of He Who Remains, "a ruler" and "a conqueror" who also refers to himself as a "jerk" of sorts.

If you're not a fan of weighty exposition, you might consider him to be a jerk as well. Jonathan Majors does everything he can to sell these scenes, but when you break it all down, the vast majority of this final episode was dedicated to explaining an entirely new character whose arrival made little or no sense to casual fans watching back home.

On the flip side of that, He Who Remains was always the number one suspect for comic book readers who know their history. Kang, as this character is called in the source material, has been hinted at throughout the series, and Marvel even announced Jonathan's casting in the role months before Loki even started.

For some, Kang was the obvious choice for this reveal, which makes it a bit less exciting because it's so predictable. And then for others, it was the complete opposite problem. If you don't read the source material, then Kang's arrival came completely out of nowhere because his character wasn't even mentioned prior to the finale. Without comic book knowledge of Kang's identity, this just doesn't work as a satisfying end.

And even if you do know exactly who Majors is playing, what is there to actually gain from a random character showing up like this last minute? Loki has no emotional attachment to Kang beyond his manipulation of the TVA, and as a result of this, there's no closure. Thematically, another Loki variant would have made for a far more satisfying villain, one who forces "our" Loki to confront himself and his notions of what it means to be good.

Logistically, Kang's debut here isn't ideal either given that it required hefty amounts of exposition which slowed the finale to a crawl. While it was refreshing to see Loki avoid the usual CGI spectacle that often plagues the end of these stories, Marvel's incessant need to focus on set-up dragged things down in a different way here, forcing Kang in at the expense of the story that's currently being told.

It's thrilling to think about how this new multiverse will impact the MCU moving forward. The possibilities are literally endless, and we tried our best to outline some of the biggest ramifications to this big reveal right here. But what about the here and now? What about Loki's arc in this season and what about the viewers who couldn't care less about the wider MCU?

The ways in which this franchise connects everything together (much like the comics it's based on) is easily one of Marvel's biggest strengths, to the point where rival studios have desperately tried to replicate this format. But when vital plot points are introduced purely as a nod and a wink to fans who constantly look forward to what lies ahead, then this connectivity also becomes one of the studio's biggest weaknesses.

For decades, comic book giants like Marvel and DC have rebooted themselves and wiped the slate clean over and over again because they eventually become too inaccessible, weighed down by the sheer volume of backstory that newbies are forced to wade through. Marvel Studios has managed to circumvent this problem for the most part due to its widespread popularity, but sooner or later, people who don't have time to watch every single movie and show will start to resent stories like this that don't end to at least some degree.

Clearly, what was once a villain problem has become symptomatic of a much larger issue. But the essence is still the same. Characterisation is still being overlooked just to move the story along in whatever way Marvel sees fit.

And if this fixation on setting up the next project continues to take precedence over character and story, then shows like Loki run the risk of existing solely to continue one ongoing saga, like a snake eating itself in an endless loop.

Of course, fan expectation does play a role in this too, but when Kang said "We're all villains here," it's hard not to think that he might be referring to something far bigger and even more powerful than himself.

#loki #loki series #loki spoilers #spoilers #loki series spoilers #article #digital spy #marvel #MCU

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nomoregoldfish · 3 years

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I Promised You The Moon rant

Just binged it and this was from the episode by episode reaction/discussion with my partner in crime @glossyboy.

First of all, Oab stole the show, singlehandedly, which he's not supposed to. I don't think anyone expected it including himself. In the very top post when I searched his name on tumblr, he said this lol

But the truth is he played one hell of "villain" that required a very nuanced performance and he delivered it in a believable and graceful manner. Jai became the catalyst of the entire season and his rather complicated relationship with Teh was the highlight of part 2.

EP 1

From the very beginning it's clear that part 2 is very much a Teh's story rather than a balanced story about two young people's journey as a couple in the next chapter of their lives. It makes me uncomfortable they made Oh-aew clingy and pessimistic without giving him any character development.

The best part is probably the opening scene where they went paper-rock-scissors to decide who's gonna buy condoms. It felt authentic, the expectation, the hesitation, the mischievous act, all fits their characters well. Other times ep 1 was more like two adult kids playing house, literally in an empty giant ass upper middle class apartment.

EP 2

It's great that they poked the femininity vs. masculinity issue through Oh-aew, but stopped right there at the surface. Missed a perfect opportunity to go head-to-head with the controversial topic, start a debate, crush the stigma of femininity, bring something new, be a real game changer of the BL genre, and most importantly give Oh-aew some concrete character development. Part 1 showed us a gay character that's very comfortable with his sexuality and femininity, that's almost revolutionary in Asia, not as a comic relief but a leading role. Oh-aew questioned his own sexual identity once in that bra wearing scene, it's straight out of comfort zone, BOLD, and transgressive. So I expected more from part 2.

That's it? And they're already sophomores? Can't believe Oh-aew's character has been marginalized like this. It's pathetic.

But I love the brutally honest conversation at the end where Teh vented his rage and despair regarding his frustration of acting. He was acting like a dick because he's disappointed, and scared. Teh again was not afraid of showing vulnerability, making the reconciliation very realistic and touching.

EP 3

Dare I say I freaking love ep 3! The unresolved (partially sexual, but not entirely) tension between Teh and Jai was over the roof! And the built-up to their kiss was very authentic, which paled Teh and Oh-aew's much sidelined storyline, including the long anticipated sex scene (still can't believe it happened right after Jai explicitly instructed Teh to do it after the two spent a whole night bonding, like wow! Totally TRANSGRESSIVE and to some extent, kinky.) Teh looked up to the senior, idolized him, wanted to be good for him and make him proud, thirsted for the validation from him, which was mixed with affections. The workshop diary was a brilliant idea to let them open up to each other and eventually bring them close. This was what a meaningful arc of a story looked like. By contrast, there isn't a single moment between Oh-aew and Teh in part 2 that made me go "Damn it's soooooo hot!"

I know Jai/Teh wasn't the endgame but I appreciate the storyline so much. It's a very bold move considering it broke the over-glorified "one true love in one's life" fantasy of its target audience, mostly young cis women. The popular narrative of "you can only love one person through your life/one true love" in romance fictions/chick flicks was totally smashed. And it wasn't written just to stir up things between Teh and Oh-aew, it wasn't a silly fling. Instead, it's meaningful, complicated, natural, and realistic, delivered by nuanced and excellent acting from two young actors. It's hilarious that fans hate Jai with a passion and call him names.

And big news, Jai is bi?! Bravo! He's radiating bi vibes since his first appearance.

I kind of gave up at this point, the season wouldn't do Oh-aew any justice. Like my partner in crime pointed out, the costume design literally threw some "incongruous female fashion pieces" on Oh-aew, made him dye his hair red, without...making any actual point of his personality or his character development. Wardrobe was supposed to make a point in storytelling. Yes, PP wearing pink is cute, and? There's nothing else for Oh-aew. Unfortunately he's reduced to this sulky, crying, and wronged partner in a failing relationship.

EP 4

Oab again was killing it. The tension between Jai and Teh...from the rehearsal in front of Oh-aew to the dressing room pep talk, was incredibly intense and hot AF.

Was it a manipulative relationship after all? Oab was so good at conveying a character with many faces. Jai's a mentor to Teh, also a good friend, their relationship was genuine. He's also ambitious with his own goals, he used, challenged, provoked Teh in a way that benefited them both. It made sense the title of part 2, I Promised You The Moon, was from Jai's script. He promised Teh what the junior wanted the most, a bright future in acting. Teh's unconventional and unspoken feelings for Jai was the best part of the entire season in terms of creative writing, it's complicated, fragile, delicate and completely heartbreaking.

The after talk in the hallway was so well-written. It's funny (Teh joking about playwrights always write about their EXs is gold), intimate yet meticulously controlled, no one lashed out or wept. Both knew what they signed up for and Jai particularly made it clear about his motive and the purpose of the "special workshop" beforehand (or right away.) Yet it's no one's fault that Teh got carried away. He's younger, he's immature, he's more into it, it's totally natural. It's so romantic when Teh's singing karaoke in the bar with Oh-aew, yet he couldn't help but desperately staring at Jai on the floor, knowing he and the man who just turned him down were never gonna happen, they were done, but he's still madly attracted to him and his talent. He fancied Jai, at least the idea of Jai, a playwright, a director, someone knew him better than himself. That hurt beautifully.

EP 5

Teh/Oh-aew endgame at this point was pretty meaningless. Oh-aew as a leading character never got any solid character development over a span of four years. What happened between Jai and Teh wasn't just "cheating", though they surely made it look that way, like Teh's empty promise of "I won't see him again after the show ends". No matter how Oh-aew and Teh eventually reconciled, there's no emotional connection, no sparkle anymore between the couple.

But I knew for a fact they had to. Otherwise it's too much of a risk financially for the series. The creators had to take the easy way out like most traditional romances—one of the most contrived and formulaic trope where the male leading character made a mistake (usually cheating) and realized he's wrong, he deeply hurt the female leading character (Oh-aew was merely a girl substitute in part 2), then he completely changed for hell knew what reasons, started doing every nicest thing in the world to try to "win" the female character back. It has been feeding the emotionally-deprived cis female readers/audience who are frustrated with heterosexual relationship irl for decades. The formula that made romance outsell other genres of fictions combined in the 60s and 70s still sells today, under the name of boys' love. It's pathetic to see Oh-aew confess to Bas that he always "lost" to Teh. Love shouldn't be some kind of game or competition, there isn't winner or loser in love. Love is spontaneous. Oh-aew didn't lose because Teh developed feelings for someone else, and he didn't win when Teh begged him for reconciliation. People change, people move on.

And as predicted, they went for it. The ending was so absurd and tedious.

Overall, Jai's probably the hardest villain to play, he needed to be REALLY GOOD to be "the bad guy", to make his role conceivable. Oab absolutely nailed it with his talent and experience. He's not even my type or extremely good looking yet I'm 100% SOLD. I immediately re-watched the scene of him kissing Teh back hungrily at the end of ep 3 like I used to re-watch Teh/Oh-aew's steamy make out session at the end of episode 3 part 1. Coincidence?

I like some parts of both seasons for the same reason, each challenged and tried to break some outdated/contrived narratives in the BL genre. Part 1 took on the sexuality taboo by showing two same sex characters sexually attracted to each other, no more "I'm not into boys, I just happened to fall for someone of the same gender" or "pure love" bullshit. By staying true to the characters' sexuality and actually showing it with explicit, intense (and beautifully shot) scenes, the gay characters were normalized. They weren't just pure and innocent, no one was. And it created two of most unconventional gay characters in Asian pop culture, Oh-aew, a beautiful boy who's very comfortable with his own sexuality and femininity, not passive at all, taking initiative to pursue what he wanted; and Teh, a sensitive, caring and vulnerable boy who cried a lot, he's confused but also sweet and brave.

Part 2 tackled the "You can only love one person through your life" trope with a very nuanced story of "cheating". Yet neither carried out what they started. Part 1 fell short of a revolutionary piece that stayed true to "adolescent sexual turmoil", dismissing bisexuality and becoming a typical unrealistic BL fantasy in the end. And Part 2, ugh, forced a "happy ending" that almost no one digs. I understand it's extremely difficult and risky to disrupt the established norms of a genre. But sometimes being transgressive and progressive could be the same thing. A story, an artwork, has to challenge something in order to create something new and compelling.

#i promise you the moon #i told sunset about you #ipytm #oab oabnithi #billkin #pp krit #rant post #asian lgbtq dramas #lgbtq #i promised you the moon

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earbuds-and-hightops · 3 years

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An Open Letter to Supernatural

[ Spoiler warning for 15x20, obviously ]

I understand that a well-contemplated complaint about this ending cannot be made without first reading the original, pre-COVID, script of 15x20, but in the long run, the initial plan is not what will be remembered.

What will be remembered is what this show created. What it became beyond two brothers driving around the country, hunting monsters. Characters were introduced and developed, and in that, Sam and Dean Winchester become so much more than two kids living on the road. In the past 15 years, the cast, and thus the family, grew to something that would be unimaginable to those who started this project back in 2005. Not only did the characters and their stories become meaningful, but the show itself grew into, well, a family. The fans who have kept this show alive since Day 1 have come together to form what I believe is the greatest community in pop culture.

What hurts the most is that this finale did not do any of that development justice.

The finale (and consequently the episodes leading up to it) reverts back to the story between only Sam and Dean. While some see this as an ode to who they are--their brotherhood and familial bond being the heart of their values and the root of their characters--I cannot help but see this as a rejection of their experiences this past decade and a half.

What’s worse, episode 15x18 confirmed one of the most pure and powerful and goddamn beautiful romances that television will ever see. This story of an angel who abandoned his family and the only beings he’s known for thousands of years, all for one person. I knew from the instant the screen faded to black on November 5 that the story of Castiel will always be remembered, even if his feelings were unrequited. Castiel will always be remembered.

And then there’s Destiel. I was genuinely impressed that this show would even grow to include a queer angel, more importantly, a queer character in a leading role. The queer-baiting and the “bury your gays” trope both make this confession and its lack of acknowledgement that much worse (and is worthy of an entirely separate open letter for another night). It matters less if Dean does or doesn’t reciprocate these feelings and more that it’s wrong that he completely ignores it. Cas’s love confession, this beautifully tragic and tragically beautiful emotion coming from a being who wasn’t supposed to feel emotions at all, is something that, unfortunately, will become a secret that dies with Dean Winchester.

It’s truly a shame that the writers of this show let that happen.

We haven’t even touched the fact that Castiel’s death was an act of sacrifice to save Dean. Dean’s limited reaction and lack of mourning* tears apart this phrase that has become pivotal to the entire show and fanbase: “Family don’t end in blood.” While it would be a lot to ask that Dean rescue Cas from the Empty and resume their cycle of rescue and resurrection, I think it’s only fair that Dean take the time to fully accept Castiel’s actions and words for what they mean instead of simply moving forward as if they never happened.

What’s more, Misha Collins is one of the greatest and kindest people in this world, and he’s poured his heart and soul into Supernatural, just like everybody else. He’s spent 12 years on this project, and the final two episodes hardly mentioned his character. He didn’t deserve this. It’s heartbreaking that his last credit on this show will be a prank call from someone trying to impersonate him, and not something that pays tribute to such an important character and important actor**

The most devastating part of this ending is what happened in 15x19. Pardon my French when I say that that episode, the ultimate climax of the season and latter half of the series, was a piece of dog shit. It’s incredibly frustrating to invest in 15 years worth of television and look forward to this ultimate battle between two average boys and God the Almighty Himself and to instead watch a 6-minute long fist fight on the beach with the only dialogue being variations of “seriously guys, stay down.”

My issues with 15x19 lie less in the storyline that was chosen and more in how they were presented. I am completely on board with Jack taking God’s power and eventually becoming the new God, but the episode was far too quick to have any real meaning, and, as stated before, Castiel’s sacrifice, which allows Sam, Dean, and Jack to do what they do in 15x19, is hardly mentioned.

Most fans agree that 15x19 was far too quickly paced. The plot with Michael and Lucifer was questionable to begin with, but should have been an episode on its own if it were to be perused at all. Michael’s story in particular could have been fleshed out to reiterate this theme of overly loyal sons and their fathers, as well as their relationships with less loyal siblings, but was instead reduced to about 20 minutes of screen time.

Though this is less important, Lucifer’s plan to make a new Death felt like a cheap cop-out just to close the storyline with Death’s book, but we can finish that discussion another day.

The general fan reaction to this atrocity of an episode was that this was meta, and according to Becky, the ending was supposed to be dog shit. This, along with the untouched storyline started when Cas died, gave fans so much hope that the finale would be this amazing piece of art that puts Supernatural in the history books.

While it’s obvious that an hour cannot perfectly tie up every single event and arc with a pretty little bow, it can at least...try. Any finale should, at minimum, pay tribute to what the show started as (which 15x20 did well) and what it became (which 15x20 failed to do miserably).

In addition, a reference to character back in season 1 is incredibly frustrating when recurring characters with actual, well, character go unnoticed. I mostly reference Eileen here, but this also applies to Jody and Donna. Nobody even mentions the other wonderful friends who have helped Sam and Dean along their journey to Heaven. If family doesn’t end in blood, then why doesn’t it extend to include Castiel, Jack, Mary, Rowena, Charlie, Kevin, Jody and her girls, Donna, and so many others?

Dean’s death was sad, I’ll give them that (and honestly, I was expecting it). However, considering that this man has defeated apocalypses, killed Death, and taken down God, his death via nail in the wall was incredibly anticlimactic, and something that could literally have happened at any point over the 15 seasons. While Dean’s death was obviously not my ideal ending, I think it could have worked if it were done properly, and in this case, it was not. That said, I do appreciate that Sam did not try to bring Dean back, as that would indicate literally no growth at all.

Dean’s funeral was...pathetic, to say the least. Sam being the only person there was depressing considering that Dean had lots of other close friends (and you’d think that Jack would pay his respects, but apparently not), however, this is likely a scene that was impacted by COVID and the availability of some of the cast, so I will not dwell on that scene.

Dean’s time in Heaven complicates matters even more. Firstly, Bobby confirms that Castiel is no longer in the Empty and has been in contact with Jack. I would have loved to see this reunion; Cas is essentially Jack’s father, and I would have loved to see how their upgrading/remodeling of Heaven brought them closer together. I understand that the writers were trying to focus this finale story on the brothers, this goes back to my earlier point that you cannot simply ignore everything that that this show has grown to include. Bobby’s explanation also begs the question of why Dean had no intention of seeing Cas (or Jack, for that matter) again now that he has the opportunity.

Secondly, Dean’s instinct to go directly for the Impala was very in-character, however, the editing implied that driving was all Dean did until Sam died. As we know, Sam dies of old age, likely (completely guessing here) upwards of 40-50 years from Dean’s death, and that is a very, very long time for Dean to simply driving around the mountains. It would have been nice to see Dean reunite with other family and friends who are also in Heaven, however, again, COVID restraints.

Sam’s ending was similar to what I and a lot of other fans imagined (not necessarily wanted, but predicted) it to be: kids and a wife, living a normal, monster-free, life. I hate to believe that he doesn’t end up with Eileen (to my recollection, his wife was a blur in the background, and it is unclear if she was meant to be Eileen) however that might just be my bias and appreciation of Shoshannah Stern. While I’m glad that this storyline gave Sam the room to grow and develop without his brother, it also completely ignores everything that he’s been through this past decade and a half, and that is something that should not happen. Sam grew and changed so much since he left Stanford and leaving that life, the life of a hunter, behind feels very counterintuitive.

Let’s not even discuss the wig that Jared wore. It reminded me of the Cain wig that Rob wore in the Hillywood parody.

What shocked me the most at the beginning of this episode was the lack of a “The Road So Far” compilation. I hoped for the full song with a recap of all 15 seasons, or, at minimum, the typical single-season recap. “Carry On My Wayward Son” is such an important part of the show and the culture of the fan base, that it seems almost sacrilegious that the season finale not begin with this song and a memorial to the events in the past season (or series).*** I’m very happy that it was included at all, but I was shocked when Neoni’s cover took over.

No disrespect to Neoni; those girls are incredibly talented and I love their music, however, a series finale of a 15 season long show does not feel like the place for a cover when they already have the rights to the original, and the original is so iconic.

Lastly, I want to acknowledge Jensen Ackles’s reaction to this conclusion. At a con panel about a year ago, he said that he needed to be talked into agreeing to this script by Erik Kripke himself, because the ending just wasn’t sitting right with him. So many fans took this to believe that he was homophobic and afraid that of Destiel becoming fully canon, and he got so much more hate than he deserved, because ultimately, he was right in his first opinion. This isn’t the way this story should have ended. Jensen explained that he had been “too close” to the story, and that it took a more holistic view from a step backwards (the audience’s perspective, as he puts it) to agree on this ending, but honestly, nobody knows Dean Winchester better than Jensen, and he knows what’s best and what would be the best way to finish this character’s arc. I think fans and Jensen alike agree that this wasn’t it.

I sympathize with all of the cast and crew members who disagree with how this show ended but are bounded by contract to support this show no matter what. Especially Misha and Jensen.

Over all, I believe that Supernatural will go down in history (in internet communities, at least) as one of the greatest shows ever. While I do agree that the writing quality in terms of both dialogue and plot declined as years passed, the community, the family, that this show created cannot be ignored because of a poorly written/planned ending. I think that the fandom will collectively let go of this disaster of an ending that we were given and will, just like Sam and Dean, write our own stories. I have full faith and confidence that Supernatural will not be represented by this finale episode, but by the beautiful stories, amazing characters, and the family that this show created and what the fans have chosen to do with it.

Sincerely,

A Fiercely Frustrated but Fiercely Loyal Fan

* I do not count that last clip of Dean crying on the floor as mourning. In my mind, that was a reaction, not an emotional healing and overcoming, if that makes sense. I argue that if Dean were to fully mourn and process everything (like Sam did in 15x20) we would have seen at least a bit of that on screen.

** This is where I would have loved to see some of the original scripts. I hope that the writers initial intentions were to have Misha more involved in these last two episodes than what was likely a voice memo created in 10 minutes tops at Misha’s house.

*** The strange montage at the end of 15x19 makes so much more sense. I still would have preferred that montage at the beginning of 15x20. This also shines light on the video that Misha posted. What would we do without him :)

#supernatural #spn #spn season 15 #spn finale #spn 15x20 #an open letter #no beta we die as men #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #jack kline #erik kripke #robert singer #andrew dabb #that god awful finale #i spent 4 hours drafting this

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medea10 · 3 years

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Medea’s Worst Year of All-Time Anime/Game Superlative

Nobody saw this year coming…except for maybe Barbara Walters! Who could have predicted that this year would bless us with Australia burning, the entire west coast of the U.S. set on fire, stupid people setting fires because they wanted to reveal a baby’s gender, murder hornets, Ruth Bader Ginsburg dying, an almost war with Iran, serial killer mascots arrested, policemen killing unarmed black folks for having a counterfit $20, policemen killing unarmed black folks for breaking up a fight, policemen killing black folks for holding sandwiches, policemen killing unarmed black folks for fucking sleeping, a wide variety of “Karens” coming out of the woodworks, the end of Bojack, the end of Steven Universe, the end of Empire, and a pandemic so huge it’s killed the economy, canceled fun, and given the U.S. president the dumb-fuck idea of injecting bleach to kill the virus!?

SERIOUSLY, WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED ALL OF THIS WAS GOING TO FALL IN OUR LAPS LIKE HOT COFFEE ON THE CROTCH?!

At least there was anime this year.

…

At least there was SOME anime this year.

…

Biden won the election and Vickeblanca came out with Black Catcher this year.

Hey internet, it’s Medea here to give you her trashy opinion on this years anime and games that she’s watched or played. Because for some reason, my loser-ass loves to do out-dated as fuck memes! I shouldn’t complain, this shit brings a lot of attention to my page every year when I do this. Yes, 2020 was a complete dumpster fire so large that Domestic Girlfriend is crying foul. Many of us had to go on lockdown and ended up binge-watching the entire 957+ episodes of One Piece. I did no such thing. I am one of those “essential workers” so I didn’t hunker down for 9 months straight. But when I was home, I was watching anime. Actually, I would have done that even without the pandemic. I’m an introvert and find the human race to be deplorable.

You all know how this goes. I go over the best this year had to offer me. I had to search really hard to find the good in this year, especially in the anime world. Many things had to be put on hiatus or were delayed to a later date. Just a reminder, I don’t discriminate in what year the anime or game came out. If something came out in the happier times of 2007, that anime or game counts! Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2020: Interspecies Reviewers

Did anyone expect a fan-favorite of 2020 was going to be a hentai? Did anyone have on their batshit 2020 bingo card that a hentai was going to grab everybody’s attention? At the beginning of the year, my mind was set on the Railgun sequel and Eizoken. It wasn’t until licensors, streaming sites, and TV stations in Japan dropped this series that I started to pay attention. And got immediately hooked! It’s about three men going to different brothels and reviewing their time with the ladies. And these ladies are of different species! So with every bang comes possible enlightenment, new kinks, or a night of having your dick sucked off more than humanly possible. This anime blew away all of my skepticism and first impressions right out the window. Maybe it’s because I’m a degenerate and am often curious about sexual content, but this was a guilty pleasure of mine this year.

Favorite Main Character of 2020: Moroha from Yashahime

I know the majority of this story is going to revolve around Towa and Setsuna, but can we please focus a little more energy on the spunky, quarter-demon girl?! I know they’re pitting Moroha as the comic relief, but I’m hopeful that she’s going to surprise us one day. We fans of InuYasha would spend the past decade and some change wondering what InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter would be like. This year, we got our answer with Moroha. She’s got this wild side to her, probably due to the fact that she’s spent her entire life on her own. And while she’s silly at times, she can get down to business in a pinch. She has her father’s sense of smell. She has a sword. She’s able to shoot sacred arrows much like her mother. And to top it all off, she has this special rouge that if she puts it on, she’s able to unleash that ¼ demon power inside her and become Beniyasha! Yeah, I know the power only lasts a minute, she’s only 14, give her a break! I will gladly go through another week scratching my head at the confusion this story gives me if I get to see one more second of Moroha and her crazy antics or her bad-ass slaying.

Favorite Villain of 2020: The Devil Believers from Black Clover

This was one hell of a year for Black Clover. It would have been an easy choice to pick the devil and possible super devil that appeared during the elf fight. But I’d like to give a nod to the filler arc villains. And you can’t blame this group for wanting the power of the devil. They’re literally the bottom-rung of the Clover Kingdom and ones with little to no power or mana. So I can agree with why they would want the power of the devil. For one thing, they’d have more power. And for another thing, they’d be able to exact revenge on those who have wronged them. On some occasions I agree with exacting revenge and when it comes to the nobles and some characters in Black Clover, some folks do deserve death. I mean, have you met the king of the Clover Kingdom? Plus, this town and many other poorer towns get looked over by the kingdom. Peasant uprise! Anyways, I thought these people were really crafty in their crimes. I mean, they were able to knock Asta out on his ass with specially made poisons. I was actually hooked to this story of Black Clover (despite it being a filler arc). I know we’ll never see them again as they have been exiled, but it did have me semi-rooting for them.

Favorite Video Game Character of 2020: Honey from Pokemon – Sword & Shield (Expansion Pass)

Sorry Raymond from Animal Crossing!

Honey is the saucy wife of Mustard…I did not expect that to come out the way it did, but here we are! She has one hell of a team you can fight once a day. She looks out for her husband, the dojo, and the students of the dojo like they were her own children by providing food, drinks, and others. However that does come at a price as you do have to give up a sizable chunk of your watts that you collect in raid dens. I’m sure a bunch of MILF chasers were more than happy enough to give her all their hard-earned watts just so they can have their one-on-one moment on the beach with Honey.

What won me over was when that one guy from a rival dojo bad-mouthed her husband’s dojo and she…I think she kicked this guy’s ass herself. I don’t think she used any of her pokemon. Game Freak won’t show it, but we all know she kicked this guy’s ass to a point where he’s begging for mercy.

Honey, for the win!

Favorite Game of 2020: Animal Crossing New Horizons

This game was just Zen for me. I know the release of this game came with some controversy like Gamestop saying it’s an essential business and will remain open for people to get their copies of the game. Hell, I was one of those assholes in line waiting to get a copy on March 20th. Did I predict that a pandemic was going to rage out of control when I got a prepay copy of this for Christmas 2019? NO! I only predict political things, not deadly pandemics! The good news, we social distanced, didn’t catch the covid and got the game.

Anyways, this game has been a non-stop calming and fun ride. I can even forgive their botch-up of Bunny Day. They even have events for holidays I never thought they would ever touch. I mean, does anybody know when Museum Day is? Probably not until Animal Crossing had an event for it! I’ve been able to let my freak-flag fly with designing my island. And this goes way beyond New Leaf for the 3DS. I can make a sign post with the words “Fuck Trump” on it and post it in my yard. I can dig up trees and plant them elsewhere. I can poop in a toilet. I can craft furniture and put my own design on it. My furniture can have Tracey Sketchit’s beautiful mug on it. I can sit on Tracey Sketchit’s face. I am a sick fuck and I don’t care. I can give Raymond and Bob maid outfits. Magical time in my game! My hopes for next year…I don’t know, get the Festivale furniture, get Papi and Olivia to join my island, maybe visit Danny Trejo’s island, who knows, sky’s da limit!

Favorite Het Couple of 2020: Nasa and Tsukasa Yuzaki from Tonikawa

This is one of the most unorthodox marriages I’ve ever seen. But in this 90 Day Fiance world we’re living in, I shouldn’t pass judgement on these two getting married in episode one and not knowing much about each other. Nasa meets Tsukasa as he was about to be plowed by a truck. Tsukasa saves his life. Nasa says she’s beautiful. Tsukasa says she’ll be his girlfriend if they get married. He agrees. She disappears. Four years later, Tsukasa appears in front of Nasa’s front door with a marriage registration form. Congratulations buddy, you’ve got yourself a waifu! In some way, this felt like watching Yamato and Takeo from My Love Story. I was fascinated with them progressing through their relationship. The only difference is that Yamato and Takeo took the old-fashioned route. This couple did everything ass-backwards in terms of having a relationship. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Nasa and Tsukasa’s relationship during each episode. I find them cute.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2020: Karin Asaka x Emma Verde from Love Live Nijigasaki High School Idol Club

AAAAAAAAAH! I’M IN IDOL HELL AGAIN! Yeah, no kidding! I came this close to putting Miu x Nicole from that abomination 22/7. But thank God for Love Live! There’s no telling if any of the girls from the Love Live franchise are confirmed to be lesbians. But fuck it, all of them attend all-girl schools, no males exist anywhere, and Sunshine gave us Kanan x Mari! Yeah, you know Kanan and Mari is canon as fuck, don’t at me. So naturally, I found more third-years to ship in the new Love Live series. Now I know I should have put up Ai x Rina or Ayumu x Yuu. Especially the latter due to recent events! But Emma x Karin is my OTP.

Now Emma is an exchange student from Switzerland and in coming to Nijigasaki, she first meets Karin and they became instant friends. When Emma said she wants to become an idol, Karin helped her quite a bit. Even though Karin had no interest in being an idol as her modeling career is starting up, Karin would occasionally help Emma out. And surprise, surprise, Karin ends up fascinated with the idol world and Emma helps her come to the light to be herself there. Okay, I’m totally reading this in some fragmented way, but I’m currently playing Love Live School Idol Festival All Stars and the app game has a lot more stuff involving stuff the anime has yet to talk about. Confirmed or not, Karin x Emma for the win!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2020: Eiji Okumura x Ash Lynx from Banana Fish

It took me a while to get here, but I finally made it to 2018’s overlooked gem. Forgive me for not being fully caught up, but from what I’m watching at the moment, I’m sticking to my guns and supporting the hell out of this. I mean, I could have mentioned The Titan’s Bride here…but fuck no, I ain’t goin’ down that mess! Ash has gone through a lot, I mean a helluva lot in his past. His cute boy looks have made him a target on the streets of New York, with mafia dons, and with prison inmates. But dude can kill if you mess with him. Then you have Eiji, who is just a literal example of a “pure cinnamon roll (until episode 8)”. These two are as opposite as you can possibly get. Ash is from New York and Eiji is from Japan. Ash likes hot dogs with everything on it. Eiji likes grilled fish and natto. Ash spent the majority of his life killing on the streets. Eiji was a track superstar. You get my meaning. But when we got these two together it’s quite adorable. Ash is really able to change when he’s around Eiji. Ash isn’t some heartless killer on the street about to kill a thug with prosthetic fingers. When he’s with Eiji, he’s a joker that can easily get scared of pumpkins. And even in later episodes, you got these two acting like a husband and wife.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect to Get Into: Les Miserables – A Girl Named Cosette

Let me explain a little something. Les Mis! I have never seen the play, watched the movie, or read the novel prior to picking up this anime. Not a single one of those! And that’s a bit of a head-scratcher when you realize I was a bit of a musical theater nut in my teenage years. But one thing I do like is when Japan does an anime based on plays or historical events (like Romeo x Juliet or Rose of Versailles). The second I popped in Les Miserables the anime, I wanted to binge watch the whole 52 episode series. It is by no means a perfect adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel. Several key players end up surviving all the way up to the end of the story! But because this was my very first viewing of anything Les Mis, I took to the story of Cosette and was eager to see what was going to happen next in her tale. Unlike the movies and play, Cosette was the main focus of the story besides Jean Valjean and Javert. And thanks to watching the unfortunate stories of Cosette, Jean Valjean, the Thenadiers, Javert, Marius, and the rest, I thought it was time to watch the OTHER adaptations to Les Mis.

…

Russell Crowe sucks.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni

Higurashi or When They Cry is one of my favorite fandoms of all time! So naturally when we heard that it was making a comeback, I was excited. It was also very odd that Higurashi was given this sequel or reboot. Ahem! There’s another franchise that needs a face-lift. Umineko still deserves a better treatment. Plus, now that this series was out of the faulty hands of Studio Deen, Higurashi will get the special care it deserves. Believe it or not, it wasn’t just the anime that made a comeback for me, but the manga as well. Since 2009, I’ve read several volumes (out of order) and would every now and then come back to read the story. Back to the anime, this reboot or sequel…you know what, I’m gonna call it a “rebooqual”! This rebooqual sucked me back to the town of Hinamizawa and all the murders. Every week, I find myself comparing the current episode to one from the 2006 version. But then the fourth episode of each arc seems to catch me off guard.

Where are they going with this story and these twist endings to our favorite arcs? I did not expect Rena to turn a simple attempted murder into the end of School Days! I didn’t expect Rika to die in the most disgusting fashion they could think of. Could someone kill Teppei fucking Hojo? I will pay ¥5000 for someone to do that job. So yeah, because I know how much of this plays out and who does what, I’m usually watching and reading while making wise-ass remarks. But I still have fun with it.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Konosuba

In a year where I caught up with the popular Isekais like Shield Hero and Re:Zero, I found the wacky misadventures of Kazuma Satou to be amusing as all get-out. From the first 5 minutes, I found myself laughing at Kazuma’s misfortune. Seriously, how the fuck do you mistake a tractor for a car, have a heart attack, piss yourself, and fucking die in the first couple minutes to the series? You can only get away with this shit in gag animes! But it’s not just Kazuma’s dumbass, there’s a mage who only does explosions, but loses all her energy after one blow-up. Then there’s a busty, blonde who gets turned on by getting hurt and can’t strike anything with her sword. Anime’s biggest masochist or Cheryl Tunt incarnate, I haven’t decided which one to believe! Then you have this loud, crazy goddess chick named Aqua. She’s also useless about 86% of the time! Watching their unfortunate missions is all the crack that I need to get through this year. Seriously, Darkness is just all kinds of fucked up, but we love her.

Last Fandom of 2020: Yashahime

That’s right, the InuYasha sequel gets top spot here! Even though week after week I find myself asking more questions than when the episode started, I’m still hooked. If you’re like me, you watched and fell in love with the series InuYasha. So if they’re doing a sequel, you’re expecting to see all of your favorite characters from the prequel like InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru, Koga, Rin, and the rest. Actually, no! Quite the opposite! We’ve got Sesshomaru’s daughters, but no Sesshomaru. Rin is sleeping in a tree we think! We’ve got InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter, but they’re M.I.A. None of the girls even know a thing about their birth parents.

Now are these new characters a catch like the ones from the previous series? Some are! The three main girls, yes! Especially Moroha! I’ve already praised her name earlier in the superlative. Towa and Setsuna do take on some personality traits from their parents. Setsuna is definitely serious like Sesshomaru and Towa sometimes has a carefree yet loyal aura to her like Rin. I know I’m always skeptical when a series gives us a sequel featuring the offspring of the main characters. Especially when you’ve got some lame examples like Boruto and Eureka Seven AO (I might retract my diss on Boruto later)! As each week gives us a new episode, we’re unraveling new clues into a lot of things involving our old favorite characters, as well as the new ones. So I have high hopes for Yashahime for the time being!

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shi-daisy · 5 years

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I've noticed that you're not very fond of Renji or the Kuchiki characters in general. Can I ask why? (No offense, just curious)

No offense here, anon. I'm more than happy to answer.

I'll start with Rukia since she's the easiest to explain. Rukia was one of my favorite characters up until the Hueco Mundo Arc. You see at first she was a dynamic girl, a little helpless but that was understandable since she had no powers, she was funny, kind and I really felt for her during the first arcs. Then Kubo just replaced her with another character. Rukia got more closed off, agressive, punch happy and tried to make Ichigo apologize about something that wasn't his fault. I didn't hate her, as she still had some of her best traits but this shift made her go from one of my faves to a neutral character. Worst off it's when she marries Renji after he left her for years and almost slashed her to bits, and the novel, oh that damn post canon novel gave me rabies. She's embarrassed by being called Abarai? I could buy this from Orihime, or Momo, hell I'd even buy it from Riruka, but Rukia? No, that's not her. Instead of forgiving Byakuya and Renji in a heartbeat, Rukia's character would've been better off if she told them both to sit on a prickly cactus and stay the hell away from her, then left with Ichigo and Co. to the human world at the end of the Rescue arc. Instead she forgives those two, who have been nothing but shitty to her and takes to hero worshipping Byakuya. No, that's the worst thing she could've done and to top it off she marries one of them and has his kid. That dude hit you once and you not only marry him but have his kid?! Gurl, that literally begging for trouble right there. I just felt disgusted with the way Kubo handled Rukia. I don't hate her but I don't love her as much as everyone else in the fandom does.

Renji And Byakuya though? Those two I absolutely despise.

During the first arc these two come to the human world to arrest Rukia, who need I remind you was completely powerless, and what's the first thing Renji does? Swing a goddamn sword at her. He literally just tried to slash her with his sword. Does Byakuya interfiere? Tells him to maybe tone it down a bit? Nope, he does fucking nothing. Renji keeps trying to hit her, with a grin on his face, and later on even chokes her. It's not until Uryu, who's a freaking Quincy, steps in that the whole aggression stops.

I know people defend this with 'oh Kubo meant for them to seem as villians at the time' but I think you can't come back from trying to slash your bestie/future wife or from letting my sister be slashed to bits.

But ok, if it was just that, I'd be willing to let it slide so as long as the two apologize and Rukia gave em a 'reason you suck speech' or something similar. Well next time we see Renji he's taunting Rukia in prison. He backs out and says it's a joke later but it was still scumy of him to do that. During that same scene Rukia says she knows she'll get killed and pinnapple dumbass tells her Byakuya would intervine, but she shoots him down by saying that he'd likely just kill her himself and has never once cared for her from the moment he adopted her. Like, what? This asshat hasn't even looked her in the eye in 40 years? I know in shinigami time that's like 4 years maybe but it's still a long time to be emotionality neglected.

After his fight with Ichigo we get Renji And Rukia's backstory and instead of growing sympathetic towards him, I hated him more. So he and Rukia grow up together with some friends in the poorest place in Soul Society, and after their friends death they join the academy to get better housing and food. That's good so far, only the two are separate because Renji has more potential and Rukia is average at best. He gets new friends and keeps moving forward. Rukia was alone and stuck. Sad but ok maybe they'll make up after graduation. Nope, because the Kuchiki clan wants to adopt Rukia, remove her from the academy and now she'll live as a Noble. It's clear in that scene that Rukia does not want this, that she'll take any excuse to not accept, does Renji tell her to stay with him, or to choose what she wants? Of course not, the idiot congratulates her, makes a light-hearted joke about it and then sulks when Rukia sadly thanks him and leaves. Then he suddenly decides to stay away from Rukia for... bullshit reasons. Like I get Kubo tried to paint it as a I have to stay away so the Kuchiki won't get mad at her, but Rukia didn't ask for that, she was lonely, even more so without Renji, and he didn't even attempt to communicate with her or just check in? She obviously didn't want that and he didn't either, but no, I'm apparently supposed to be heartbroken that they were speareted. Then when he sees her again, his childhood bestie, the woman he loves, his future wife and mother of his child, what happens? He tried to slash her with a sword when she was depowered. See how his backstory made the previous scene worst. Honestly I was glad he chose to help Ichigo not let Rukia get killed but damn, it shouldn't have taken this long!

After that we get the whole Renji vs Byakuya thing. Renji goes down like a chump, assists in the final battle for a bit and that's it. No apologies for the past, or for what he did when he arrested her, or the things he said to her in prison, zero apologies from Renji Abarai. This doesn't work, especially if Kubo wanted to marry these two off by the end of the series. Renji needed to apologize directly, we needed to see it play out, not just be told he did it offscreen. This left me hating Renji for the reminder of the show. He was now more friendly and even a bit of a comic relief but his first impression muddled that for me. On the Fullbringer Arc he refused to fight Jackie because a man who hits a woman is trash but... didn't you just do that to the chick you're in love with like two years prior? Did he forget? Was that an admission of guilt or something? I dunno. It felt like a last ditch attempt from Kubo to make him more likeable but to me it fell flat. By the end I was fully disinterested in Renji, wheather he lived, died, married Rukia, Byakuya, whoever the hell, I just didn't care for him at all. It did bug me that he took Uryu's spot in the final chapter cover. Uryu deserved better than Mr hypocrite taking his limelight. Renji would've been better as one off villian, Kubo should've given his backstory to another character and have them with Rukia instead. I'll never get over the fact that this dude spent his first appearance being the most unlikeable jerk, physically assaulting the woman he loves, talking shit like a cocky dumbass, almost killing two of the main characters, and taking the girl he loved to her death; only to be married to said girl in the end, with a daughter and on best terms with the people he fucked over. I ain't a fan of him.

Byakuya it's another character who I wanted to smack against the concrete, repeatedly. First appearance? Lets his lieutenant throw his sister around like a ragdoll, almost kills an innocent human, and basically acts like everyone's beneath him? Good, I already hate him. Next time we see him, he shows no emotion towards Rukia's sentence, he's still hell-bent on stopping the human squad from rescuing her, almost lets Renji die after he loses to Ichigo (honestly I was down for Renji bitting it but c'mon this dude is your employee and you don't care if he dies? Big yikes) Keeps messing up every attempt from the others to rescue Rukia. Almost kills Renji in a fight, then goes to fight Ichigo and here's where he became irredeemable for me. During his fight with Ichigo, he says he'll beat Ichigo and then kill Rukia himself. That's when I wanted Ichigo to chop him into sashimi. You can't say something like that and expect anyone to forgive you. He loses against Ichigo and at the very least honors his word to not kill Rukia. Okay then he defends Rukia from the real baddies. Nice, I still hate him. When he's being healed he tells Rukia that he adopted her because his wife was Rukia's actual sister, and he promised he'd keep Rukia safe if he ever found her.

All throughout the flashback I only felt sympathy for Hisana. Being put in the poorest place in Rukon, having to leave your baby sister to survive, marrying a guy who you love only for his family to hate you because you're not Noble, then getting terminally ill and not being able to help your lost sibling, all of that is horrible and broke my heart. More so when you realize that Byakuya didn't keep his promise to protect Rukia because it would break the law. He can stick his laws where the sun don't shine Rukia almost got killed unfairly because of him, Ichigo and his friends would've died unfairly because of him, he doesn't deserve any forgiveness. At least the dude had the spine to apologize on screen but that still just the bare minimum. I wanted to see him make up for all the shit he caused, maybe try and help change the law so a mistake like this dosen't happen again, just something productive. Well no, he's still the same cold and unlikable jerk we first met, only now he seems to treat Rukia better. This should've been a start, not the default. When he almost died in the final arc I thought it was a fitting end, he's humbled down, he apologizes to Rukia and Renji for losing, he leaves everything in Ichigo's hands, which mirrors how he was opposing him on the first arc but it's now fully on his side, it was the best way to salvage this unlikeable prick. But no, he dosen't die. He lives and its back to the grind again. Worst of all it's how he appears during Rukia's big fight and she uses her Bankai, he's there to mansplain and sour the fight and ugh I hated that chapter. Then he says he's proud of Rukia and it's meant to be a heartwarming moment, to me however it was vomit inducing. You're proud now? Two years ago you almost killed her! You ignored her and neglected her for decades and this is supposed to be cute?! No, his pride is worth less than dirt when he treated her this badly before. Heck if he had won back at the beginning Rukia wouldn't even be there. You almost killed her two years before, and now you're proud? Miss me with that nonsense.

The ending was especially jarring for me not just because Renji got with Rukia but also because they, along with Byakuya did nothing to fix the system that almost led to Rukia's unfair death. None of them did anything and if there's one thing I would love to see if Bleach ever got a sequel,would be Ichika yelling at the three of them for their ineptitude. They let the Sokyoku get rebuilt, they didn't do a smidge to change the system even though they're two captains and a lieutenant, and still live in prefect rich peep paradise when Rukon is still as shitty as it was when Renji and Rukia lived there.

Sorry for the long answer, I just wanted to let everything out as in most discussions people are baffled by the fact that I don't like these three characters all that much. Hope this answers your question anon!

#ask #anon #anti renruki #anti renji #anti Byakuya

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jaeger-bombastard · 5 years

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Here’s my take on how they fucked up character writing in season 8

spoilers below the cut

The Night King:

Starting here because there's the least to say about him. Why? Well that would be because he was barely in it. The series OPENS with him. He's death incarnate, the biggest threat, and what was supposed to be the great unifying factor. The thing that stops the squabble for the Throne to make everyone come together for the biggest battle of all. And then they kill him. In the first battle they fought him in. Ruining almost a decade of build up. This was where the season became irrideemably bad. There is no fixing this. You don't kill a magical king from thousands of years of threats and then be like "wow now the real threat....DrUnK LaDy iN cAsTLe. The Big Bad of the series had less of an impact that fucking Joffery or Ramsey Bolton. The south doesn't even know he exists. What the fuck.

Jon Snow:

Jon's ENTIRE character is written about the Night king and Martyrdom. Just hear me out. Jon never wanted to be Lord Commander, King, Lord of Winterfell, anything like that. His ENTIRE motivation as a character was about saving humanity from the Night King at any cost. Why? That is because the Night King is the biggest threat here. Like I understand we are all entitled to opinions but this is pretty objective. He's like the global warming of Westeros. This is why we see Jon running past Sam and other close characters to get to Bran. He isn't being a coward. He knows this is beyond him and his family and friends. The world is at stake. Jon should have died with the Night King. That is where is character arc should conclude but since they killed him so stupidly early, he outlives what he should and becomes a complete and utter dumbass. He just swoons for Daenarys (and I'mma touch on her in a second) and ignores his SISTER's warnings, and when Dany had completely lost it, his dumbass is over here like "I mean she queen and also hot so it's her choice to be a tyrant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ " What the FUCK. He doesn't even decide to kill her until Tyrion is like "Bruh she is gonna fucking kill your sisters." and even then he fucking hesitates. Jon went from being a character that had a role to fill and meaning to being "HEY GUYS THIS IS THE MAIN CHARACTER!!!" and it absolutely destroyed him.

Daenerys:

Alright so I know this is gonna be an unpopular opinion but just hear me out on this one. Dany was always gonna go crazy. People have been loosing it over this and I feel like this was the only thing they did right, but just hear out my reasoning. The Targaryans are horribly horribly inbred. This means that it's not like Dany is 50% her mother's genes and 50% her father's. Both her grandparents and parents were brother and sister, and there's incest all up that family tree too. There wasn't a 50% chance that she was gonna go crazy, it was basically a guarantee. Now the way the show writers did it was absolutely nonsensical. NO she didn't go crazy when she witnessed her brother's death. He was her abuser and sold her basically into slavery. Nonononono. We didn't see the Targaryan madness in here until season 7ish or so. She gets paranoid, starts questioning Tyrion. Now in Season 8, however. She apparently watches 2/3 of her children die, Jorah dies, she's under all this stress and she's fine but then Messandi dies and she snaps? I understand they were close but she sees the dragons as her children and watched them both die horribly, including one being brought back from the dead????? That would have been the 'breaking point'. And even if she went crazy WHY THE FUCK would she burn down the red keep if that has the throne she wants so bad??? Honestly Dany fans have every right to be the most pissed about this. Ultimately she was destroyed the second she met Jon Snow because at that moment, she wasn't Daenerys anymore, she was "Main character's love interest, but make it edgy." She even said how she loved Daario and left him and felt nothing but then she meets Jon and is like "oo he hot tho" like dude no. Women are not fucking dumb. Dany would have never done that. Like in episode I think 5 when she's like "Oh I've never begged before but I'm begging you Jon, don't tell anyone~" bitch NOOOOO. She would have never never never never never done that. Did the writers rail cocaine before writing this? Like yes, she got shafted in writing and it's probably due to sexism with the love interest stuff, but it's not because she went crazy. He character was ruined long before that.

Jorah Mormont:

This one pisses me off the most. They killed him for fodder at the Battle for Winterfell. But hey, he's not Jon so who needs him, right??! So let me explain this one. Jorah's character arc is about his pledge to Dany, right? He needed to live long enough to see her go mad. That was literally the point of his character. What the fuck was it all worth including him?

Grey Worm:

"Dany went crazy so also I guess I will by association." I mean fuck him as an individual character I guess????

Tyrion Lannister:

He's just fucking dumb now. He's fucking dumb there is no "drinking and Knowing things" he knows nothing he has no idea what he's doing, that was the entire point of his character too.

Jaime Lannister:

Okay so I'm a little on the fence with him, not gonna lie. On one hand I do agree, it felt like all of his character progression was for nothing. But On the other hand, he was always a dynamic character and going back and forth from Cersie and redeeming himself, and in the end, it was Cersie. I honestly don't hate this. A story doesn't have to end happy to be good. His was a tragedy, and his love for Cersie killed him. That's not a bad ending for who his character was, BUT they handled it horribly, and made Brienne of Tarth a fucking damsel in distress to aid his story. So I'll leave that there.

#game of thrones #got #got s8 #game of thrones season 8 #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #grey worm #jaime lannister #tyrion lannister #jorah mormont

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thecraftgremlin · 5 years

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The Big Project Venom Redemption Rundown Post

For a little while now, I’ve been vaguely talking about this big weird complicated fan... thing... project that I’ve been wanting to get started. This is that; Project Venom Redemption.

(What is project Venom Redemption? This project is a series of concept art pieces and storyboards exploring how a modern Spiderman cartoon might handle the character of Venom and their shift over the years from villain to antihero. The pieces are meant to represent a series-long arc of the hypothetical cartoon centered on the characters of Eddie Brock and the Venom symbiote. The narrative draws inspiration from decades of comic, cartoon, and film depictions of the character as well as fan interpretations.)

It’s a bit of an unwieldy explanation, but it doesn’t really fit into any category of fan work I’m aware of.

Obviously I’m only just getting started on the artwork and boards, but this is a basic outline of the entire story arc:

- Classic Venom origin story episode(s). Spiderman gets a new suit, suit is an alien, Spiderman gets rid of alien, meanwhile Spiderman also leads to Eddie Brock being disgraced, alien’s angry, Eddie’s angry, they team up and make a big angry monster that wants to kill Spiderman, you know the drill.

- Villain!Venom antics. We see a progression between Eddie and the symbiote from two beings grudgingly working together for a common goal to a partnership.

- Day-in-the-life type episode with Eddie and the symbiote. Here we get a glimpse at what they get up to and talk about (mostly) separate from Spiderman and their revenge quest. We get to hear some backstory for the symbiote, mostly about how they were outcast by Klyntar society. We get a better sense that Eddie and the symbiote genuinely do like each other, and some foreshadowing to their building romantic feelings for each other. This is also the episode that introduces Eddie calling the symbiote Vee, which is for all intents and purposes their name for the rest of the series. Also, this is a Valentine’s Day episode. Because it fits the themes and also chocolate.

- Several fights where Venom seems conflicted over trying to kill Spiderman. Similar to Planet of the Symbiotes, Peter picks up on this and assumes that Eddie’s morals have kicked in and he’s having second thoughts. He starts to appeal to Eddie during these fights, trying to split them up. This eventually leads to…

- The break up. Venom gets close to actually killing Spiderman in a fight, but hesitates. They start having a full on Gollum-style argument with themselves, one side saying this is wrong and they need to stop, the other saying Spiderman deserves this. Peter tries again to encourage Eddie to fight the symbiote’s desires, but it seems to be making the situation worse. At the height of the argument, an unfamiliar voice in Venom shouts “LISTEN TO ME!” and Venom de-forms. Eddie lunges to attack Peter, but he’s bound to the ground by the symbiote. Peter realizes that it was never Eddie who was trying to protect him, it was Vee. Eddie and Vee argue more, then Vee unbonds from Eddie completely and leaves. At first Eddie tries to attack Peter, blaming him as he’s wont to do, but he soon collapses in despair over the loss.

- Vee and Peter-centric episode. Peter hears rumors of a “demon” living in the church where Eddie and Vee bonded, thinks that it may be the symbiote, and he turns out to be right. When he finds them, Peter demands to know why they were protecting him and why they left Eddie, but they don’t answer. He figures out that when unbonded, they can’t actually speak, and he tentatively lets them bond with him enough to talk. Vee explains that for their whole life, their hosts have treated them as an object at best and a slave at worst. Peter was the first host who treated them with kindness, so when he rejected them for what they were they wanted revenge just like Eddie. But as they fought with him and heard how he spoke about them, it became clear to Vee that he was never aware that they were sentient with any feelings to hurt. It made less and less sense to them to be angry at Peter, but Eddie still was. They hoped that they could change Eddie’s mind and keep Peter safe from him while they worked through it, but Eddie refused to listen and Vee had to leave. They apologize to Peter for everything they did to hurt him, but Peter apologizes right back. He’s sorry that he was another person to treat them like an object, and that he blamed them when they were trying to keep him safe from Eddie. Uncertain about where to go from here, Peter leaves Vee on their own as a tentative new friend.

- Peter and Eddie team up episode(s). While out doing his Spiderman thing, Peter stumbles on Eddie, who looks like absolute hell. He’s made a full 180 from blaming his mistakes on others to despairing self-pity. Peter doesn’t really know what to do with him in this state. Meanwhile a symbiote-related threat, let’s say Carnage, emerges in the city. Peter’s immediate instinct is to go to Vee for help, but they’ve left the church and he has no real way of finding them. The only other person with symbiote experience he can turn to is Eddie. It’s a huge effort getting him put of his spiral, but Eddie grudgingly agrees to help him. This eventually leads to a confrontation where Eddie and Peter are pretty badly beaten, on the verge of losing. At the last minute, Vee comes in and protects them. The three eliminate the threat together. When everything’s said and done, Vee starts to leave, but Eddie stops them. He literally falls to his knees and begs Vee to forgive him. He tells them that he knew what they were doing was wrong, but he was still so angry that he didn’t care. He knows he’s made so many mistakes, done so many awful things, but he doesn’t want revenge anymore. He doesn’t even want the power they give him. He just wants Vee. (There may or may not be a love confession in there somewhere.) They bond again with a kiss.

- Episode that starts out with Eddie brooding about everything he’s done wrong and how he has no purpose until Vee says “Screw that, let’s be heroes, like Spiderman!” We really get to see Vee’s romanticism about ideals like true love, heroism, and justice here. Eddie on the other hand is more cynical, still in self-pity mode and unable to believe that a screw-up like him could ever do good in the world after everything he’s done. Eddie and Vee try and fail to emulate Spiderman’s “friendly neighborhood hero” style. In the end, Eddie tells Vee that they can’t be a hero like Spiderman, they have to be a hero like Venom.

- Episode where Eddie reconciles with Peter and they become Spider-Allies for real. This is where we really get to see Eddie and Vee trying to build a new life together, transitioning to a more stable, healthy existence with positive relationships with others.

Some other tidbits about the arc:

-Some themes of Eddie’s character arc are personal responsibility and later taking responsibility versus self pity, overcoming toxic masculinity, and rejecting societal “normality” for happiness.

-Some themes of Vee’s character arc are personhood, what truly makes a monster (and why Vee is NOT a monster), the value of romanticism, and finding self-worth as a victim of abuse.

-And of course the big theme of their arc together is

-Eddie’s favorite term of endearment for Vee is “Angel.” Not super relevant to the story, but it’s cute and I wanted to share.

-A few things about symbiotes in this universe:

-They don’t have names. They may use a nickname, but they don’t self-identify with a name like a lot of other species do. I’m aware that the “Vee” nickname is a fanon thing, but I thought it was useful for this context so I shamelessly borrowed it.

-They can’t really communicate with their host unless they’re at least somewhat aware of their presence. This is why Peter wasn’t aware that Vee was sentient, he thought they were just an inanimate suit and didn’t think they could speak to him.

-The Agents of the Cosmos as a group no longer exist in this universe. Klyntar is currently ruled by “parasitic” symbiotes. Vee was born after the Agents were disbanded.

So, yeah, these are my ideas so far. I’m hoping I’ll be able to flesh them out more as I work on the art elements of the project. I can’t guarantee I’ll get every idea out in a polished form, but I figure I can at least try while I’m still excited about it.

#venom #eddie brock #venom symbiote #symbrock #venom redemption #it's probably a lil disingenuous to tag this as symbrock but it is in there i promise #congrats if anybody actually read the whole thing this is too many damn words

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merinathropp · 6 years

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Tanz der Vampire - Vienna 2018: Detailed Breakdown

Guys, this was such an amazing experience, I have a real mixed bag of opinions (both good and bad) and a lot of emotions. I feel so lucky to have seen this production. Now, to get all my thoughts down on paper!

First night - from middle stalls front row Second night - from middle stalls seventh row

Graf von Krolock - Drew Sarich (second night) Graf von Krolock - Florian Fetterle (first night) Alfred - Raphael Gross Professor - Sebastian Brandmeir Sarah - Diana Schnier Herbert - Charles Kreische Magda - Anja Backus

THE GOOD STUFF

ALFRED - Hello yes first off I would like to marry thank Mr. Raphael Gross for his powerful, heartfelt portrayal of one of my all-time favourite characters. He was everything I could ever want in an Alfred: sweet and devoted, full of energy and expression, and completely freaking adorable. He scurried around the stage like a frightened hedgehog, but I mean that in the best way possible. He was a ray of (very anxious) sunshine, you couldn’t help but love him and want him to win against all the odds.

- Für Sarah was An Experience, in the best way possible. Raphi’s Alfred started off very soft and uncertain, sort of pep-talking himself into summoning up the courage to keep going, but as the song went on, he seemed to sort of...grow and strengthen in front of your eyes? Like he was channelling all his love for Sarah into fighting against his fears, and by the end of the song, he had defeated them completely. He was practically punching the air and thrusting the bag all over the place with passion and determination. It was sweet and stunning and perfect, and the audience rightfully cheered at the end :’)

- Loved this detail: when the Professor was demonstrating to Rebecca how he was going to stage Chagal, Raphi turned his head away and cringed and closed his eyes for the actual moment of staking. Such good foreshadowing, setting up how frightened Alfred is by the whole staking process, so early on!

- When the Professor gestured in Ein Guter Tag for a bowl of gruel, he leapt up and charged around the bed at such a speed, he completely forgot where he was going :’) because he headed straight for the Professor’s clothes instead of the trolley! He had to skid on his heel and go charging back to fetch a bowl of gruel instead. It was the most Alfred-y thing to do (being in such a desperate hurry to please the Professor, he forgets what the Professor actually asked him to do) - I loved it.

- When the Professor is chiding him for stepping on the creaky floorboard at the end of Act 1 (even though it’s actually the Professor himself), Raphi’s Alfred stood there with this expression of half-bewilderment, half-hurt on his face, kind of like: “But Professor I’m not...doing anything...” and it was both hilarious and sad all at the same time. Then when Alfred himself passed the creaky floorboard, he walked very carefully to make sure it didn’t creak again, which is the most Alfred-y thing and I loved it.

- Okay, this made me laugh so much at the time, even though I always feel so bad for Alfred: when the Professor does his “Hast du ihn provoziert oder was?!” line and tries to investigate his trousers, Raphi’s Alfred went into a complete panic and struck this ridiculous wobbly pose where he tried to turn his legs in and cross his knees, he looked completely silly and like he was about to fall over at any moment :) poor Alfred, it’s just the icing on the cake in that scene...

- The bite was 10x more traumatic than it needed to be, because inbetween the usual screams of pain, Raphi’s Alfred cried out Sarah’s name, and that pretty much broke me. I don’t know whether he was begging her to stop or just crying out in horror, but either way, it was gut-wrenching.

- He undid four of his shirt buttons in the bathroom scene??? revealing a lot of bare chest to the audience??? I think this is the most scandalous thing I’ve ever seen an Alfred do??? (not exactly complaining, it was just...unexpected)

- Raphi lost his red coat somewhere over the course of his dance with Herbert and it was the greatest thing I have ever witnessed in a rendition of Wenn Liebe. Literally, it was hanging off his shoulder, and he couldn’t pull it back up because of the mirror-reflection. This + drenched in sweat + his hair looking like he’d come through a hedge backwards = I felt bad for laughing, but it was hilarious and adorable in equal amounts, just the icing on the cake in that scene.

KROLOCK (DREW SARICH) - I was not prepared.

- Seriously, nothing could have prepared me.

- Nothing, I tell you.

- Don’t get me wrong, I’d seen this guy on YouTube before and always thought he was a perfectly decent Krolock. But seeing him live...oh boy, seeing him live was an experience I will never forget. I finally understand all the hype for Drewlock and it is so. freaking. justified. I’m now going to fangirl for a couple of paragraphs and probably say 19023 things that all his fangirls have been analysing for decades, but what can I say? I’m a shiny new fan!

- I think the best way to describe Drew’s performance is hypnotic, charismatic and animalistic. There was something so intimate about his portrayal, you hung on every single word he spoke. Each line was given purpose and meaning, every gesture controlled and planned, every tiny inflection mattered. He was magnetic to watch, sending this incredible hush over the audience whenever he spoke or sang. When he was onstage, it was like the entire world and all the other characters revolved around him, and each time he left the stage, I found myself wishing (for the first time) that there was more Krolock in the show.

- He glided around with this incredible predatory grace. His hands were constantly moving and arching and flexing, like a cat with its claws. He’d snarl, hiss, bare his teeth, twitch his lips, lick his fangs etc. in a way that somehow always came off incredibly chilling, never silly or pantomimic. During his numbers, I kept noticing my heart literally pounding in my chest, or having to to lean back in my seat and let out my breath in a gush because I’d been holding it...ridiculous, but true, and completely awesome.

- His personality for Krolock was full of charisma, pathos, wit, genuine menace, and humour. Proper humour, that was what surprised me the most, e.g. his sarcasm with the Professor and mocking reaction to Alfred’s candlestick charge both made me laugh out loud.

- His dynamic with Alfred was...full-on seduction? Vor Dem Schloss was surprisingly intense! I’m not a Krolfred shipper, but I can see where the inspiration comes from now, and understand why this ship has climbed in popularity recently. Drew’s Krolock approached Alfred and moved his fingers in front of his face, like he was casting a spell, and Raphi went all dopey and wide-eyed, like he’d slipped into a trance (much more interesting than Alfred looking mildly scared and awkward through the whole scene). Then during the ‘Ich lehr dich, was es heißt zu lieben’ line, when Alfred was gazing sleepily out into the audience, he tucked a finger under Alfred’s chin, guided it around and upwards to look at him, then begin to draw them together (literally, I thought a kiss was coming and was ready to throw a riot) - before breaking off at the last second and sweeping away. I was like: “This. This right here, is when the ship was born. I’m holding you personally responsible, Mr. Sarich.”

- In fairness though, I like that Drew’s Krolock kept his interest in Alfred consistent throughout the show and made a proper ‘arc’ of it: during the He Ho Reprise, when speaking directly to Alfred (who had hunched in on himself and turned away, like he was hiding), he reached out a hand over the battlements and beckoned with one finger, and Raphi’s Alfred slowly looked up to meet his gaze, and started to shuffle towards him across the stage, like he was falling back into a trance again. Tom’s Alfred did something similar when I saw him in Hamburg, but this was much more obvious and a nice throwback to Act 1.

PROFESSOR - This guy was perfect. Hilarious, frustrating, easy to love, fond of Alfred. Ticked all the boxes and an amazing voice to boot. What a great performance.

- Once Alfred had helped him undress in Eine Schoner Tochter, he reached out and held his hand to Alfred’s cheek and gave him this proud grandfather smile like “Thank you my boy, another good day’s work done :)))” and I cried a lot on the inside...these two will be the death of me I swear...

- During the He Ho Reprise, he brandished his umbrella threateningly at Krolock, and then when Krolock spoke directly to Alfred, he encouraged Alfred to take his umbrella instead, so he could brandish it at the Evil Vampire Overlord too and presumably protect himself more effectively :’)

HERBERT - Why, oh why is no one talking about Charles?! This guy is sheer perfection as Herbert! Hands down one of my all-time favourites. He reminded me strongly of Kirill Gordeev from the Russian production, but with his own personal flair. Very much a graceful, charming, vain, ‘spoiled princeling’ Herbert with the perfect amount of underlying menace. He felt very fresh, and there were so many little details to his performance that stood out. Best of all, he never played for laughs or threw Alfred around like a sack of potatoes to get an audience reaction.

- On the line: “Was macht dich so blass? Bist du krank?” he said the last part as if it were a dry witty joke, and then giggled and swept his hand like “I’m so funny!” and it made Alfred’s nonplussed reaction twice as hilarious :)

- When the minuet began in Tanzaal, he swept off his cloak and tossed it over Koukol like he was a hatstand, it was priceless. And 110% Herbert. Somebody write that into the official blocking for this character, please.

- Throughout Carpe Noctem, he was very much embodying the ‘MC’ role and pulling all the strings. Lots of elegant gestures to pull dancers on and offstage, that kind of thing. At the end of the song, he focussed his attention completely on Alfred, watching him sleep with this :) expression whilst all the other dancers exited the stage. Then he clambered off the bed, and started to exit the stage...before pausing, and turning back to look at Alfred again (kind of like a kid sneaking a last glance at something special, it was unexpectedly sweet?) with this little smile on his face like “Awww look at my human! :3” and finally slinking offstage after that. Definitely stealing that for a fanfic someday...

KENTAUR SETS & COSTUMES - Are stunning and beautiful. ‘Nuff said. The vampire outfits in particular are exquisitely detailed and lovely to watch, all that sweeping velvet and heavy embroidery. The rotating set in Act 2 is also super neat! I think the projections are best seen from middle of the stalls, rather than front row though.

ORCHESTRA - Sounds like a dream, y’all were right, it’s a thousand times better than the German touring version. Full and luscious and gorgeous. Loved it so much.

THE BAD STUFF

SARAH - Oh boy, time to brace myself for the hate mail. I really, really didn’t like Diana’s Sarah. I found her belt shouty and downright painful at times, and her acting choices very confusing and inconsistent. I don’t want to turn this into an unnecessarily negative post, so I will just say: she’s clearly a wonderful talented young person, I just personally didn’t like her performance for Sarah at all.

KROLOCK (FLORIAN FETTERLE) - Again, didn’t care for this guy’s performance. Very sedate, bored-by-his-eternal-life Krolock that came off...downright dull, for me. I felt as though he had no stage presence. He didn’t seem to want to give Krolock any real menace or personality in general, though I understand that this might be part of his take on the character as a vampire with ‘deadened’ emotions. Full respect to the guy as a performer, I just personally really, really wasn’t a fan of his Krolock.

DANCING - Went wrong in multiple places, both times I saw it, which absolutely broke my heart. The cast I saw in Hamburg were flawless, not a foot out of place, but this was a whole different story. During Red Boots Ballet, Sarah didn’t even hit her splits on both performances I saw, and Krolock’s dance-double let one of her legs drop on that amazing ‘spinning’ lift at the end, which must have thrown him off balance, he was staggering around all over the place. Carpe Noctem was equally messy, with some really nice moments and some really��“huh?” moments as well. White Vampire/Sarah seemed to lose their marks halfway through and face the bed instead of the audience, several moves felt like they were being ‘marked’ rather than fully danced, or left unfinished in aid of keeping up with the music. I spoke to two other fans who warned me that the Vienna dancing could be sloppy sometimes, but I genuinely didn’t think it would be this noticeable. I know we’re spoiled with all the Moscow/St. Petersburg bootlegs of insanely polished Russian dancers, but still...

BLOCKING ETC. - During my first performance, it seemed as though bits of blocking were being lost or accidentally messed up, e.g. when the Professor pushes his bag off the table using Chagal’s body and Alfred has to catch it...well, the bag was positioned wrong, so Alfred just picked up the bag and the joke was lost. The ensemble also managed to get out of time with the orchestra during Vor Dem Schloss, which was funny at first and then just frustrating. I’m going to put this down to the heat of the day, because it was pretty stuffy in the theatre and maybe the cast were just finding it hard to concentrate...?

I’ve now seen Tanz four times in total, and continue to love this show more every day. Time to start saving for a trip to Russia, that’s the production next on my bucket list! Unless someone attempts a heavily, heavily revised Broadway revival before then...I mean, a girl can dream, right? :)

#tanz der vampire #dance of the vampires #tanzblr #bal vampirov #musicals #merina rambles #save

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metazensae · 7 years

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Ahhhhh Hi! I've been kinda shy to interact with you just because I'm a nervous nerd but I just wanted to say that I think you're awesome and everything you make/do is beautiful! Your blog makes my day brighter! (@pocusilla-flanchette)

This message has absolutely touched my heart. I’ve read it probably 17 times since I received it and I’ve been a blushing mess each time. I’m so not used to any of this, not used to people liking what I do, not used to feeling good enough, and especially not used to being noticed in any capacity.

The fact that other people enjoy my work literally makes my heart SING.

((The rest under the cut bc I’m long-winded and sappy as hell))

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind for me, and I’ve been wanting to say something about it publicly, so I’ll use this ask as a chance to write out my thoughts.

It’s amazing to me that you would feel this way about me. I brighten YOUR day??? What!!!! I don’t think you guys have a clue how much you mean to me. Every single like/reblog/comment/mention/interaction/tag MAKES *MY* DAY. Up until 3 weeks ago, I existed in a void where I would toss half finished sketches, and I would despair. Radio silence. Inadequacy. Insufficient skills. Loneliness.

I wanted to change everything. I was considering giving up traditional art and thinking maybe I should just give up my dream of making comics altogether. You probably don’t know this, but from about 2006-2016 I was severely depressed and completely lost my will to draw. I had been THE ART KID in high school - my identity - and when depression took that from me, I fell into a really dark place. My skills had deteriorated completely, but on one not so special day two years ago, I thought to pick up a pencil and try again.

Even still, I’ve been struggling. Everything is digital nowadays, and I stepped out of the art world during a very technologically-advancing decade. I kept looking at my sketches and finding all their limitations and flaws - things I know could be fixed or done quickly if I just learned how to use digital mediums. But digital confounds me. You have no idea how much I am awed by digital artists. And people who can do both? They’re my gods. But I couldn’t even finish my sketches because I was impatient to improve - my skills were nonexistent, deteriorated from so many years of nonuse. I may even pose that I never had the skills to begin with. And since my pieces were simple value drawings with the LAZIEST of hatching as shading, I didn’t think anyone else would want to see them either. I thought I needed to change my style and needed to learn a different medium.

But you guys have given me my passion for drawing back. I’ve only known about the Arcana for a few months, and I was totally inactive in the fandom, so I didn’t know who any of you were, though some of you showed up on my dash from time to time. But then, on @badly-salted-pretzel / @asraaaa ‘s suggestion, I drew the Lucio sweaters comics as a gag. ((ALSO SHOUT OUT AGAIN BC THIS IS THE PERSON WHO INTRODUCED ME TO THE ARCANA SO THANK YOU EMILIA I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH))

And then I LIKED drawing Lucio, so I did another shit sketch of him being weird and shirtless (basically… uh… my thing) and along came the @samael-bellamorte /Lucio seduction arc.

And my life has changed forever?

These last 3 weeks I’ve spent drawing the Arcana fan art and fan apprentices have been the most rewarding in my life. For the first time, I’m drawing things that other people LIKE, things that make other people HAPPY, and it is SO SO SO motivating. Every piece I draw gets better and better, and it’s because I want to do a good job for YOU. So thank you - thank you - THANK YOU.

The other thing is that I’ve met so many great, talented people here in the Arcana fandom. Your passion for drawing, writing, and just generally creating is so catching - I’m blown away by how interesting, diverse, and well rounded your characters are, by how just damn good your writing and story-telling is, and HECK? I CAN SHARE MY ART WITH YOU TOO?!? WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN. This community is exactly what I have been looking for my whole life, and really. I’m so overwhelmed and excited and full of love for you guys.

You all have made my dreams come true, and I can’t even tell you how much all of this has meant to me.

All of that said, I really hope you will interact with me. In fact, my immense loneliness begs you to. I’m also shy and nervous and awkward and a HUGE NERD - it’s like we were made from the same soul, so don’t feel nervous to talk to me

@pocusilla-flanchette let’s be friends, ok?

#pocusilla-flanchette #PLEASE INTERACT #YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME #ahhhhhh i'm really sappy oh my god sorry

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douxreviews · 5 years

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Arrow - ‘You Have Saved This City’ Review

“I thought I had more time.”

The Powers that Be had the impossible task of wrapping up two season-long arcs and setting up a third. They came damn close to pulling it off.

With so much ground to cover the plot became secondary to the emotional journey of our heroes. Which is why each obstacle is resolved with a minimum of fuss. The bioweapon attack, which took three episodes to set up, is dispatched with several well-aimed freezing arrows and the two other dispersement sites were foiled off-screen. Team Arrow is blamed for Emiko’s attack but Bingsley’s testimony restored them to hero status. Palmer Tech AKA Queen Consolidated was destroyed, but the city was saved. And everyone lived happily ever after. At least for the next 4-5 months. The flash forward plot was equally unimportant. What matters is that William and Mia live up to their promise and become the heroes their father wanted to be.

The real story is the answer to the deeply disturbed but prophetic Dr. Parker statement from the beginning of the season. “A father passes on more than just his name to his children.” Through seven seasons of the show and the use of flash forwards, we’ve witnessed two generations of parenting and its effects on their children. And while the Queen legacy of destruction and violence has been the main focus, it has not been the sole focus.

Robert Queen was not a moral man. His image as a pillar of society is in stark contrast with the man who repeatedly cheated on his wife, covered up the accidental death of a councilman, was involved with a plot to destroy a section of his city and kill thousands, murdered his bodyguard to save his son, and abandoned his child. All of these actions visited lasting and harmful ramifications on all of his children.

Thea’s childhood was warped by her grief for her father and brother’s deaths, while Emiko’s was warped by the knowledge her father loved his “other family” more than her. Oliver literally bears the scars of his father’s choices – some from his five years of hell before returning to Starling (now Star) City and some from his vow to right his father’s wrongs.

Robert’s failings as a parent are contrasted most directly with Oliver’s and by extension Felicity’s. And I believe we are meant to see Oliver’s choices as superior to his own father. Where Robert asked Oliver to make amends for his transgressions, Oliver strove to insulate his children from the effects of his choices. However, in the final analysis, they followed a remarkably similar path. Oliver and Felicity abandoned William as assuredly as Robert abandoned Emiko. His decision to be a vigilante led directly to the death of William’s mother and to multiple violent attacks on William during his childhood. And it ultimately led to what we assume is Oliver’s death leaving Mia to grow up without ever knowing her father or brother. Sound familiar?

The actual contrast is with the Diggle family. General Stewart raised John to be a strong, honorable man. And rather than dishonor John’s memory of his father, he allowed himself to be villainized in John’s eyes for decades. John tried to instill that same sense of honor and responsibility in both of his sons. And like the General before him, he had mixed success. Connor went into the family business of serving his country by joining Knightwatch while J.J. rebelled and turned to a life of crime as his Uncle Andy had.

All of which begs the question of what we are meant to have learned from this season. Should Oliver be thought of as a hero? Or are we meant to believe he was the next evolution towards that goal with William and Mia bringing it to fruition? Did he save the city? From the Ninth Circle’s quest to destroy it, certainly. But ultimately, we’ve seen its downfall.

Are William and Mia, with Connor and Zoe’s assistance, meant to be the true saviors of Star City? It would appear so. The flash forwards end with an explicit changing of the guard. Mia as the new Arrow, Connor as the new Diggle, Zoe as the new Canary, and William as Overwatch. It felt more like a setup for next season than a tying up of a loose end.

And what of Emiko, whose appearance was so central to this discussion. In some ways, she is an argument for nature vs. nurture. Robert’s treatment of her was inexcusable. But, as Oliver tells her, it was her reactions to his behavior that led to much of the pain and misery of her life. Joining the Ninth Circle placed the first domino in the long and inevitable line that ended with her mother’s death.

In contrast, Robert showed Oliver the love he withheld from Emiko but he passed on his sense of entitlement to Oliver in a BIG way. Even after his selfish tendencies were beaten out of him during his many years “in hell,” Oliver’s sense of entitlement continued to manifest itself in his unwavering faith he knew best despite truckloads of evidence to the contrary. Yet Oliver’s decisions were based on a desire to help others where Emiko’s were made to assuage her pain by visiting that pain upon others.

Yet, they are cut from the same cloth. When Oliver confronts Emiko he admits to what was hinted at last week. The knowledge that Emiko’s inaction led to all the pain and loss in Oliver’s life is the reason he wanted her dead and not because “there was no other way.” Emiko may be on a dark path but Oliver’s is gray at best.

That said, they both choose to do the right thing in the end. Oliver's willingness to sacrifice himself for others culminates in his departure with The Monitor. And while Emiko’s redemption is cut short by the showdown with the Ninth Circle and her subsequent death, her refusal to kill Oliver when she had the opportunity is meant to mark her transformation. One of Oliver’s final acts to redress his father’s wrongs was to bury her beside Robert’s gravestone as Emiko Adachi Queen.

And that was just the first half hour. While we know there will be another season of Arrow, if the last third of this episode is any indication, it will be very different from what’s gone before. It looks like all roads lead to the Crisis.

So what do we know?

The Monitor collects Oliver to begin his quest to balance the universal scales that saved Barry and Kara’s lives. A quest that will lead inexorably and unavoidably to Oliver’s death. We know that Felicity will create Smoak Tech which will be phenomenally successful even as she continues to live in seclusion and raise her daughter. Alena will betray her trust and give Archer technology to the precursor to Galaxy One. And somehow, Team Arrow will cause Star City to turn against vigilantes for a generation causing a rift between The Glades and the rest of Star City as well as a rift between the members of Team Arrow. Getting from here to there is a lot of story to pack into eight final episodes.

I have been a big fan of this season but I’ll be the first to admit that it has been uneven. Gone were the unbelievable character choices for the sake of forwarding the plot. In its place was a well-designed season arc filled with oodles of interesting thematic issues and character questions they never had time to fully unpack. The finale was emblematic of this issue.

Given my love of all things character-driven, I applauded the time spent on Oliver and Emiko’s parental issues, Felicity and Oliver’s separation, and the development of William and Mia’s sibling bond. But it came at the cost of a cohesive plot. While, I’d love to give it a four, I just can’t.

3 out of 5 wall-free zones

Parting Thoughts:

Curtis was back. Yay! He’s getting married. Double Yay!

Future Alena became a badass!

Bingsley’s testimony somehow wiped away Roy’s involvement in the security guards’ murder, not to mention assaulting multiple police officers during the drone attack. Huh?

There is a character listed on IMDB as “Teen Keven Dale” but I don’t remember seeing him, do you? I’m assuming it’s his mother we saw killed in the drone attack. It would explain his hatred of vigilantes.

In the loose thread category:

Unsnipped - We never did find out why Emiko dressed as the Green Arrow. Snipped - The drones were back in play with the Cygnus bacteria. It makes you wonder why they went through the trouble of stealing the Sarin gas ingredients if it was only for empty buildings. Does that make it a half a snip? Snipped - The Mark of Four was finally mentioned. Snipped - Ben Turner has been freed from Slabside and his redemption journey is complete. Unsnipped - We still don’t know how or why Dig adopts Connor. Unsnipped - Whatever causes Star City to turn on its vigilantes, did not happen in the episode. It must be Crisis related.

Quotes:

Felicity: “What do you think is worse, Emiko being in possession of a bioweapon or the team being Star City’s Most Wanted?" Rene: “Can I choose both?”

Zoe: “Duck.”

William: “Yes, what she did may be overprotective, and overbearing… but it could be the break we’ve been looking for.”

Future Felicity: “This is not the life Oliver and I wanted for them.”

Virgil: “Well, if you’re not going to kill him, we’ll gladly oblige.”

Emiko: “You’re still here.” Oliver: “I don’t leave my family.”

Emiko: “I wanted to be a Queen.”

Curtis: “I’m sorry, I hate to save and run.”

Felicity: “Star City is a wall-free zone once again.”

Diggle: “A cycle of heroes who will defend this city with every fiber of their being.” Felicity: “Anyone ever told you you always know exactly what to say?” Diggle: “I have been told.”

Felicity: “It’s not Ivy Town but it’ll work.”

The Monitor: “I have seen your future, Oliver, inexorable and unavoidable. I have watched you die.”

Oliver: “This is bigger than us. Than all of us.” Felicity: “Why does it always have to be you?”

Shari loves sci-fi, fantasy, supernatural, and anything with a cape.

#Arrow #Green Arrow #Oliver Queen #Felicity Smoak #John Diggle #DC Comics #Arrow Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews

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lovethediseasedkillerpuppy · 7 years

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Is Dean's Behavior is Comparable to Sam's?

This is in regard to your post about whether Dean’s actions have been just as bad as Sam’s, and why one might excuse Dean for let’s say, something like the MOC, but be angry at Sam for his S4 demon blood drinking/teaming up with Ruby arc.

First, let me preface this by saying, I’m sorry for the small book I am sending you!

Secondly, I guess I have a different story than most Dean fans. I came to the show WANTING to be bibro. In fact, I came to the show WANTING to like Sam specifically (because the friend who introduced me to the show liked him). I came for the epic bromance. I came with excitement and anticipation. I was sorely disappointed because Sam’s actions and his attitude were not conducive to what I’d consider good or even acceptable behaviors/attitudes [To add, spn is not my first rodeo. I analyze most everything I read/watch in this manner, and I watch A LOT]. So, I do tend to trust my instincts here. I don’t dislike Sam because I’m biased toward Dean and can’t cut Sam some slack. I dislike Sam because of how he behaves in the story. The one bias I do have, comes not from Dean, but from the narrative’s attempt to excuse or erase the behavior I find upsetting or distasteful. It only makes me MORE angry and incensed over it (and that sometimes makes Sam’s behavior seem worse to me). Worse still, is that the story often tries to do with through Sam, himself, which again only worsens the character in my eyes. It’s one thing to do something bad. It’s another thing to then excuse yourself for having done it and demand everyone else excuse you as well (including the people you harmed in the process).

I’m going to be as civil as I can, but I’m going to say that in no way is Sam’s behavior comparable to Dean’s in 90% of these instances.

I guess if you removed all of the context for these situations completely and decided that it didn’t matter, then perhaps they could be semi-equivalencies? But even that feels like a stretch to me, and I’m not understanding why context wouldn’t matter. On the contrary, I feel like context matters a great deal. A man shoots someone and kills him. It matters whether he shot because the man was threatening to kill his wife and he felt he had no other choice, or if he shot because he really, REALLY wanted the guy’s car to get away with the crime he’d just committed. On the surface, yes both men shot and killed another person. But while I would find understanding for the first scenario, I wouldn’t for the second (This is not necessarily meant to be a comparison of Dean and Sam, it’s just to highlight why context matters and why it’s something I heavily consider when judging an action).

That said, I’m all for examining why I think certain actions in certain contexts are understandable or even good, while I find others to be cruel or wrong. My reasons for being angry at Sam’s actions is often heavily based on the context of those actions, what Sam knew or should have known when he chose to act, his attitude and expressed reasons behind the action, and lastly his response to being confronted with his bad behavior.

So with that in mind, I’m going to dive in.

Sam’s stint with demon blood vs Dean and the MOC? These don’t seem very comparable at all. In this case, the actions themselves aren’t even comparable. One was done with a ton of prior knowledge, two years worth of lies and deception, a semi-cannibalistic addiction, violent physical assault, and lots of emotional abuse toward an already, notably broken brother. The other was done without any of that, with in fact coming to Sam, listening to his ideas on what to do about it, and working with Sam to correct it. One was a series of decisions that were made with multiple, on-going warnings, from multiple sources. Sam had plenty of chances to turn around, and a brother begging him to stop, even selling himself to give Sam another option, but Sam defended his choices each and every time and refused to behave differently. The MOC was a one-time decision of a hopeless and suicidal man that could not be taken back, even as he tried desperately to do so. One was done with plenty of notice that who was being risked (other innocents), while the other was done without any impression Dean would only be risking anyone but himself.

Here is a meta that explores it more in depth than I can here, taking a hard look at some of the context that is removed from S4 in a lot discussions. But just to add, here are a bit more context to show why Sam’s behavior S4 was so loathed and not really comparable to Dean and the MOC:

Sam’s knew that his powers were given to him by a powerful, evil demon with the specific purpose of having him lead a demon army in subjugating the world. He knew that the safety of others depended on him NOT succumbing to the influence of those dark powers. He knew that engaging those powers generally led to insanity/ murder/ going “darkside” and that with the single exception of Andy, ALL the other special kids who exercised those powers succumbed to the temptation. He knew that him going darkside would have serious repercussions for other people, not just himself. That it would at least lead him to murder innocent people and at worst lead to the destruction of humanity at the hands of a demon army. And yet he risked it anyway, not even so that he could stop a worse evil, but for revenge.

Throughout S4, both Dean and Sam were actively engaged in a war against demons and demon kind. Actually, one could say they’ve been in this battle since S2, and it’s just escalated to apocalyptic proportions by S4. Consulting with the enemy (even if you believe that enemy has defected to your side) while keeping it a secret from your comrades is…well wrong. It’s making the choice to share information FOR THEM, without their consent or approval. This would be different if Sam were off on his own, but he was not. He was working with Dean, the angels, and Bobby. Yet he gave a demon information about their plans and their activities without alerting them. This is a HUGE betrayal of trust (and would be considered treason in a RL situation). Ruby knew all their moves because Sam told her where they were and what they were doing. I understand that SAM decided to trusted her. But everyone else didn’t get to be part of that decision because he decided for them and lied to them about it.

Sam also knew that Dean was not comfortable with teaming up with or sharing information with Ruby. Dean had made it clear the he didn’t trust Ruby back in S3. It’s hard to imagine he didn’t know how much worse it would be after Dean returned from hell, the land of demons, where he was subjected to the worst suffering imaginable at their hands. Dean, who’d just spent decades of being abused and tortured by demons, did not get a say in telling one where he sleeps at night, was not consulted in the decision to tell a demon his whereabouts. Think about the level of violation that entails.

Sam started lying to Dean at the end of S2 and continued lying to him despite multiple opportunities to tell the truth. At no point did Sam tell Dean the whole truth. Even after Dean sold his soul for him. Even after Dean returned from the dead and begged for honesty. Nor after Dean apologized for over reacting to Sam’s deceptions, ceased commenting on Sam using his powers, thanked and worked with Ruby, and promised not to try to stop Sam from whatever Sam wanted to do. Sam’s lies were multitude (at least 12 that we see happening on screen), told with a straight face, and without remorse.

Sam used copious amounts of emotional blackmail to combat any questioning of his behavior and worse, to deflect any natural consequences from it after the fact. Dean, specifically, who was already in a vulnerable place, got to be the recipient of the deceptions, the gas-lighting, and manipulations. At one point, Sam graduates from emotionally abusive tactics and literally nearly strangles Dean to death.

NONE of this applied to Dean’s decision to take the MOC. Dean’s single moment of borderline suicidal decision making, which he had no reason to suspect would influence anyone else is…just not comparable. At. All.

I will also give you these links (part 1 and part 2) and this link, because they compare some other seemingly similar situations between the brothers, and highlight why I actually find them to be incredibly different, why I end up angry at Sam’s behaviors.

The next compare/contrast I was working on was going to be Amy/Benny anyway, so perhaps I’ll put something more together there. Until then, however, here is a brief bit of context surrounding the Amy situation that does not apply to the situation with Benny nor the situation with Emma (both of which Sam specifically compared to Amy).

When it comes to Amy, I do think Dean was wrong, not because he killed Amy, but because he lied about it. He said he wouldn’t and then he did it anyway. This is why I don’t really fault Sam for being angry (though the abandonment was a bit much, imo). However, Amy and Benny were nothing alike. Amy was monster who’d murdered four people in cold blood (despite her reasons), who Dean suspected may kill again. Sam was only barely acquainted with her. They weren’t friends and weren’t planning to be friends. Sam wasn’t going to stay in contact with her and had no plans to spend more time with her. Aside from the one, incredibly brief memory, they had nothing to do with each other. The one afternoon Sam had spent with her was not enough to really know her or vouch for her character, especially as that was years and years ago. I do not think Sam’s lie back then, though he kept it from John and Dean for years, was particularly wrong. Yes he let a monster go, but she had saved his life and wasn’t killing anyone. He had reason to believe she wouldn’t kill anyone, and reason to believe his father and brother would kill her none-the-less. That was all fine.

But Amy’s track record didn’t hold. That changed when she killed four people. And Dean, talking to a Sam that’s been hallucinating so bad he nearly blew Dean’s head off a few eps before, has NO reason to trust that she won’t do it again (or even that she’s really done this time and hadn’t just used her history with Sam to get away with it). Even if she was sincere, she’d murdered multiple human beings in cold blood and fed them to her offspring.Worse, she only stopped after she was irrevocably caught the second time. She deserved to be hunted. Dean should’ve told Sam the truth of that, and trusted that he could handle it, mentally unstable or not. But this to me wasn’t a heinous wrong, even if it was wrong. And what happened when he was caught? Dean apologized. Sam abandoned Dean without a word and gave him the silent treatment for several weeks. Dean was more than aptly punished for his digression.

Now, what about Benny? Dean fought beside Benny for a year, during a time when it seemed he was being abandoned to die in a land of horrors, by both his brother and his best friend. Benny became a true, invaluable friend, to Dean. Someone he knew intimately, someone he trusted, and the only real person he could talk to about blood washed reality of purgatory. First, he was forced to abandon this friend at Sam’s insistence, because Sam was jealous (despite Sam usually being the one advocating for “good” monsters). That alone was unfair and mean, and horrible considering Sam KNEW Dean had PTSD from it and he himself was doing nothing to help (he basically told Dean “your fine” right after Dean got done telling him how not fine he was. Plus, Sam kept trying to dictate that Dean had no right to be angry or upset over the abandonment, but that’s another issue). He basically forbid Dean from having contact with the one person he could turn to for support and then also offered no support himself.

During Southern Comfort, Sam prefaced his intention to kill Benny, again because Dean claimed Benny had treated him better than Sam had. Sam put an unstable man back in the field (Martin would’ve been a danger to innocents no matter what Sam had put him on) and sicced him on Benny specifically (because apparently he wasn’t satisfied with just keeping Dean and Benny apart). Benny was not killing anyone, wasn’t doing anything other than trying to reconnect with his relative. When Benny was suspected, Dean did not ask Sam to let Benny go if it were ever proven he’d killed someone, he only asked to have time to check to make sure he had. Sam promised Dean that, then rescinded, stood by while the mentally unstable hunter that he secretly hired to follow Benny knocked Dean unconscious. Then they both chained Dean to a radiator and went to kill his friend without any further checking. The only reason Sam didn’t succeed in his intended murder is because Dean interfered, something he was chewed out for from multiple people and later apologized for.

Do you see how these situations are not the same?

And what about Emma? I’ve written here, a little about my anger at the way Emma was treated, by Sam and also by the narrative. But I’ll also write a little more. Unlike Amy, Emma ALSO hadn’t killed anyone yet. Why did Sam suddenly change his policy on giving monsters a chance, especially considering the fact that 1) Emma was a child that had, through no fault of her own, been brainwashed and 2) she was literally Dean’s biological daughter? That alone, (for Dean’s sake) should have afforded her some mercy in Sam’s eyes, even if he’d completely stopped caring about giving monsters a chance (which we see later, that he hasn’t). 3) Sam paused and clearly heard Dean talking her down. She was not moving to attack. So why did he kill her?? The narrative, through Sam no less, suggests the reason is because of his soreness over Amy. It specifically has Sam justify his killing of Emma by bringing up Amy. And how does he do it? Sam shoots her in front of Dean—when she was not attacking, when he could have easily disabled her instead—and then proceeded to berate Dean for hesitating because if Amy died, so should she. This was Dean’s literal child, and yet he’s condemned for even WANTING to give her a chance. Do you see how that’s upsetting and NOT the same at all as killing a verified, serial killer who’d people’s brains to her kid and was not even a decent acquaintance Sam’s (b/c most acquaintances we’ve met more than one time)?

And I won’t even go into the Amelia/Lisa situation accept to say this: Dean did not abandon Sam to a terrible fate when he settled with Lisa, even though he KNEW Sam was technically dead. He looked for a way to get him out (that wouldn’t release lucifer again) and eventually found one. Sam did not have any sort of remains to suggest that Dean was dead (in a world with teleportation none-the-less) and he did nothing to check to see if Dean was in fact dead or not. He assumed, and he did it in a way he’s tried to do before (see S1 Devil’s Trap. Sam suggest they do the same to John, so he can justify abandoning their dad in pursuit of his own vendetta), and then quickly got rid of any way for others to contact him,. He did it so fast Kevin couldn’t even get through (and he even KNEW where Kevin was. He could’ve at least called someone else to rescue the boy). I won’t even talk about the aftermath of their returns here, and how Sam behaves when Dean returns because I’ve already gone on for far too long.

My ultimate point is this: context matters. It’s not just what Sam does, but how and why, his attitude and the way he treats those around him both during and after he’s done it (it’s also how he demonstrates a disregard for others in general). There are things I don’t really like from both boys, but can excuse because in context it’s rather understandable (Sam cutting off ties when going to college for example, or Dean being rough and unstable right after purgatory). But when it comes to things like Sam’s treatment of Dean throughout S4 and 5, Sam’s abandonment of Dean in S8, Sam’s attempt to murder Benny and him killing Emma, there is really nothing Dean does that I can compare it to. Even at Dean’s worst, his heart is clearly in the right place and he isn’t careless or selfish or cruel. I just can’t say the same for Sam.

#dean winchester #anti sam #spn meta #THIS ALL OF THIS CAN I MARRY A POST #dean deserves better #submission

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emm-doubleyou · 7 years

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I don’t even know what to say right now. What can I really say at this point? I knew last night’s episode would leave me absolutely sick with grief. I know in the back of my mind that there is more to come. And I don’t even need to rely on faith to know that next week will be incredible. That our characters will overcome and prevail. That they will finally find peace. But sadly, I also know that I will be left a broken shell of a human being. With my life in ruins.

It’s exceedingly painful for me to consider life without this show. It’s why I had no choice but to force myself to live in the land of denial for so long. Otherwise, I would lose all ability to function. And I needed to function. I needed to get my life as in order as it was going to get before all this hit. I get that not everyone feels this way. Some are relieved to see it go (can’t relate). Some are sad but simultaneously excited to see how it all comes together in the end. And some are passengers in my rocky boat. It’s quite hard to articulate, really. I know there are those understand precisely what I’m talking about without much explanation. But all I ask is that for anyone who thinks I am defective for declaring that this show has brought me a happiness I never thought I would experience, please respect these feelings. Because as foreign as they may seem, they are genuine. I will sound like a broken record in saying that this show is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. Bones saved me. I mean that in more ways than one. And I mean that both literally and figuratively. I’ll leave it at that. And not only that, it truly inspired me. It gave me hope. It changed me and my life. It made me want to do better and be better. The impact it has had on my life has been immeasurable. It has never, not once, been just a television show. It’s not just anything. It is a beacon of hope in a world full of despair. It is my guiding light. It is my everything. And it is my home. It will live on. Through its legacy. Through its fans. For eternity.

Bones is also the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Because life without Bones is not something I know or want to experience. Again, I ask anyone who believes me to be dramatic to please try to at least understand that we cannot help who and what we love. Though given the choice, I don’t think I could have done anything differently. I don’t believe in fate. Ludicrous. And yet, this show feels like my destiny. The love of my life. I cannot tell you where I would be without it. Well physically, at the very least, on the other side of the country suffering. Trying to stay alive. Lost. Attempting and failing to find meaning in some facet of my own existence. I have had innumerable interactions with people who look at me like an extraterrestrial from Mars when they realize just how significant and all-consuming this passion is. I make no apologies for who I am. Been there done that. This is just me. I would imagine that so many showrunners, writers, and actors dream of creating art that can touch others in such a profound way. You are never going to please everyone with your work. But if you can conceive of a story that inspires an audience in such poignant ways as Bones did for so many, is there anything more rewarding? For so many years I wanted to give up. But I’d think about the lessons I learned from this show. I’d think of the characters and what they would do in my position. And I was able to push myself harder. Keep going. Not only survive, but flourish at times. And even when I felt as though I had hit rock bottom, I’d pick myself up off the ground and push through. Because it’s what they taught me to do.

But now I feel irreparably broken. Will I be able to pick up the pieces and put myself back together again after next week? I need to once again turn to the show. Because none of them would ever give up. And they have been to hell and back, time and time again. And they have persevered.

I don’t know what the purpose of this post really is. I just needed to say something. Anything. I spent the entire night staring at the ceiling, sobbing and shaking. I can’t even process. But I will say a few things: Last night’s episode was so beyond my wildest dreams. It takes a lot to shock me. Because I expect Bones to impress me each and every week. I’m used to it. Everyone’s a critic. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. But I am just always thankful to have these characters on my screen week after week, that I choose to see the positive in every episode. So that is why you will never see me profess anything but love after an episode. Perhaps I wasn’t engaged with every detail. But again, I choose to focus on what made me smile, what made me gasp, what caused me tears, and the words and moments which inspired me. With this episode- every single second was complete and utter genius. I loved every last millisecond of this episode.

When I first realized how they were going about telling this story, I was awestruck. Bones STILL manages to surprise me. How? It’s season 12. HOW are they doing this?? While I was in hysterics during most of the episode, it was also one of the most wonderful hours of television I’ve ever seen. I’ve spent my life watching television. I have watched nearly every show that people constantly rave about. I work in television, and I see the way my coworkers stare blankly at me when they realize Bones is my favorite show (well, it’s SO much more than a show). But even if I didn’t, even if this was the only series I ever watched, I am entitled to have this opinion. This show is so incredibly underrated. It always has been. It takes a lot of flack. Even from its fans. And it never quite got the recognition it deserved. To me, it is perfect. I’m not objective. I don’t have to be.

Bones could go on for another decade. I think that’s what kills me most. To have an episode like that as your 245th hour- it’s beyond impressive. I never expected the show to go out quietly. And I know that the writers wouldn’t have done anything they believed to be devoid of the utmost quality. Still- they managed to up the ante once more. It was out-of-the-box, for sure. And this storytelling device worked so seamlessly for this episode. I simply cannot heap enough praise on it. I watched most of the episode through a foggy filter comprised entirely of my own unrelenting tears. But I was on the edge of my bed seat the whole hour. It went from happy, to humorous, to terrifying, to devastating over and over again. My emotions were pulled every which way. And by the end, it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. All I could do was curl up in the fetal position and sob until I ran out of energy. And then I would begin again. It was a restless night.

I don’t love feeling this way by any means. But it’s a testament to the brilliance of these characters and this show. Because I truly care about them. I care about what happens to them. They are my family. They are a part of me. And though I know everything will ultimately be okay, seeing them in peril hurts. Every. Single. Time. This show affects me. Why would I want to watch a show in which I am not fully invested like this. I like that Bones has this power over me. That said, it’s not easy.

We always knew there would be a bomb. We knew that the Jeffersonian would undergo a very painful transformation. But how we got to that point still somehow managed to throw me. Seeing those four original beloved characters trapped in the lab at the end, I felt sick to my stomach. This is where it all began. This place. And seeing the Jeffersonian in ruins (in the promo), it just feels like the physical manifestation of my mind and heart right now. This place which was a home to Temperance Brennan, among others, for so many years. It’s destroyed. We will never see it intact again. Well, never say never. But it will never be quite the same. Someone wanted to destroy Booth and Brennan. And everything and everyone they hold dear. It’s heart-wrenching. But in Bones, the good guys always win. And they will. I have never been more certain of anything in my entire life.

Brennan will be fine. We already know that. But the promo still made me want to crawl into a hole and die. The way Booth begs her to stay with him. They are the purest and most fulfilling love story I will ever have the pleasure of witnessing. And there is nothing they cannot overcome. Their lives have been hanging in the balance a dozen times. But you can’t break them. Never.

I wouldn’t say I’m in denial any longer. But it still all doesn’t feel real. Maybe my brain is just trying to protect me. They can say “final” as many times as they want, but I simply cannot believe it. What is a world without Bones? I don’t remember. I just remember it was nothing to write home about. Not a world I want to live in.

This episode gave us so much. And everything was brilliantly packed into just 43 minutes. I don’t know how they did it. But I felt so fulfilled. Every single one of the main characters had so many wonderful moments. Nothing felt rushed at all. The Zack arc was resolved so believably. And it wasn’t even the focal point of the episode! We had some absolutely precious moments with the Booth children. We learned Angela and Hodgins will be having another child. Cam and Arastoo were just beaming with happiness. Cam is even taking a six month honeymoon. Who would have thought? Aubrey and Jessica, well, maybe that is no longer a packaged entity. But he will be fine, no matter what choice he makes about his future. There are so many moments I want to touch on. And I’m sure I will. Eventually. When I can process it all. Angela and Brennan had the loveliest of exchanges in this episode. Multiple ones. In multiple settings. Booth and Brennan, don��t get me started on that hug in Brennan’s office. Essentially the last time we will ever see her office as is. Her sanctuary. I can’t even...Booth and Brennan’s hugs mean more to me than anything. Well, everything about them means the world. They are so in love. It’s electrifying. Those two will always be lightning in a bottle. And don’t get me started on their dancing. I couldn’t love them more. No really, I couldn’t.

I feel sick right now. I feel empty but full. Empty because I don’t know the meaning of life without this show. And I am completely drained after going through the full gamut of emotions. Full because this show has given me more than I have ever dreamed of. As did this episode.

Sometimes a show is just a show. For many people, television is just a hobby. But always remember that for some, that show you casually watch may mean more than anything. Some fans love a show. And some credit a show for saving them. I am the latter. So many of us are. And maybe that’s a foreign concept to grasp. But it’s valid. To anyone else suffering the way I am, I understand what you are feeling. I truly do. I don’t know how I will get through this when all is said and done. I can’t imagine a world without my beloved savior. But I can’t think about that just yet. While the end of this episode + the promo destroyed any hope of semi-normalcy for the next few days, I still have the opportunity to say there’s more to come. More Booth. More Brennan. More Angela and Hodgins. More Cam and Aubrey. More Bones.

I don’t exactly know what I hoped to accomplish here. Basically I just needed to vent. Because I feel so lost right now. So alone. So hopeless. So broken. I am scared for myself. But for now, I need to take Angela’s advice and live in the moment. I need to take Booth’s advice and keep fighting. And I need to live by Brennan’s words: Inertia demands that you keep going. I need to find a way to keep going. I don’t know how yet. But we will see.

Knowing what I know now, would I do it all again? Would I allow myself to watch the pilot, knowing full well that this show would take over my life? Change it completely? Mold the person I would become? Cause me stress and pain through all the uncertainty, cruel messages, ENDLESS HIATUSES, and ridicule from almost everyone in my life? Yes. I would do it all again. Because to experience those moments of pure joy that Bones has brought me was worth it all. I am a better person because of this show. I don’t know that I’d be here writing this without it. Do with that what you will. It was never JUST a show. It is my world.

To end this on a more positive note- If i ever picked favorite episodes (and I never do, and couldn’t ever) this episode would be on that list. Simply a masterpiece. Perfection. Everything.

#tw: end #ha.#personal #i can't #don't read if you're sad #because i'm sad #and this is depressing

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