1hate2myself3and4want5to6die
Randomgirl
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I hate my life. Simple as that.
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I love how ugly i look today (i always do tbh), my hair all over the place, my glasses fucked up, my makeup is shitty, my clothes are weird, ah what else, and also i wish i would have a shotgun so i could blow my head off :D
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Hello again motherfuckers (okay i'll stop) i'm so fucking bored, like literally. I need more friends tbh, but i'm so weird that people would probably be like "Uhh no thanks, i'll pass" but no can do, this is life i guess. But anyway, if you're too scared to message me or something, just do it, i'll probably answer straight away, well atm. But bye!
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Just got to know that my crush (who i didn't like that much anymore, but still) has a girlfriend, i'm heart broken. Happy fucking valentine's day to everyone.
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Hello, this has been probably the longest break i have had from here, but nothing special has really happened in my life, just more suicide thoughts and so on. And tbh i don't even know what to post here anymore, i have no ideas.
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I'm getting tired of this shit again. Today was the first day of school after the holidays. And of course my parents gotta remind me of how bad child i am, and how i don't get good grades. How do my parents think that i can do chores, study and go to school at the same fucking time, my energy is almost gone. I feel like my parents hate me. And tbh i'm ready to go, die, dissapear. But i guess it would be worth it to just slit my wrists. I hate myself, my parents, my siblings, my friends, i hate the whole world.
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Happy birthday to me i guess 😂 finally 15.
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Tomorrow is Christmas in Finland, and i don't feel happy, i think the magic of it has been gone for years..
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I'm sick, nice. I might have Corona, for the 3rd time 🥲 let's see if i'm gonna die.
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I'm stressing probably too much over this.. Because i'm only on 8th grade. But i don't know what to do after 9th grade, well i will not go to college because my grades are shit so welcome vocational school, probably gonna just study childcare (or what the fuck it's even called.) because i'm good with kids, i'm kind of embarrassed about it..
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Life is shit. I'm just waiting for it to end. I'm tired of being a bad person in everyones eyes. I'm the least favourite child, and it can be seen. I always try my best, but it never works. My grades are shit, and my parents are mad. I can't go to sleep because the only thing that i think of is suicide. No one loves me, no one cares about me, i'm literally just a ghost to everyone. People are angry at me for no reason and make me feel guilty. I'm so done, so fucking done.
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I had to stay out of school today, i just couldn't go there. I can't stop thinking about my grandpa.
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My grandpa (my mom's dad) just died like 2 hours ago. I don't know what to think.. Or what to do. I just don't want to believe he's gone. He's been in my life since i was born and now, he wont see me turn 15 or have my own kids one day.. Now all my grandparents are gone.
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So, i feel like i'm stupid for posting this, but is it okay to feel scared about the fact that i might Neuropsychiatric disorder, like ADHD or something worse... Like my parents have noticed that i have symptoms. It all started in 2016 if i remember right, then doctor or psychiatrist did like these tests on me like maths and other things, and now i have to do same kind of tests. I've always had a hard time focusing in school and learning things. I feel so fucking stupid for feeling scared about this.
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Lmao not those friends who talked shit about me trying to sell me a vape, like no i'm not gonna buy that shit.
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I really want to go a Rammstein concert or something but my parents wont let me, because they don't like what Rammstein represents. I even have a Rammstein shirt that i literally wore for ONE day until my dad came and told me that "You can't wear that shirt in front of me" like are you fucking serious? Well my parents are Christians so... Only way i could go into a concert is if my older brother would come with me and pay the tickets. I "love" to be in this Christian family. I know i'm probably not the only one who's parents are like this. But now i'm gonna go watch Peaky Blinders because i don't have anything else to do in life. (Welcome typos)
#whatever#my thoughts#okay i'm probably being such a drama queen#rammstein#concert#rammstein concert#please adopt me so i can go to a Rammstein concert
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I want to be homeschooled, i don't know if it's easier or not, but i don't really give a fuck. I think it would be easier for me to do things because in school there are so many people and it makes me anxious. And i just try to think what's the best for me. Only reason for me to go to school is my closest friend. But i'm not even sure if you can be homeschooled in Finland, but whatever.
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