amytheavocado

[amytheavocado]

My sarcasm doesn’t translate well through text

#funny #meme #shitpost #benadryl #sarcasm

[amytheavocado]

This is the energy I’m looking for

#funny #meme #shitpost #lizard #lizard person #touché

[amytheavocado]

I think it’s funny when someone cracks their knuckles or their neck and everyone around them is suddenly like:

“Ah! I remember I also have joints! Let me crack them so everyone else knows.”

#shitpost #funny #meme #crack #cracking knuckles #shits crazy #creepy af

[amytheavocado]

When u

✨Thicc✨

#thicc thighs #thicc #chubby #chub rub #thick thighs #thick thighs tell no lies #shitpost #funny #meme

[amytheavocado]

Do you guys remember chicken little? Like I remember weird bits of scenes and that that song Wannabe was in it but I don’t actually remember what the hell the plot was.

#chicken little #childhood #childhood memories #memory loss #shitpost #meme #funny

[amytheavocado]

✨Thoughts While Shaving My Legs✨

“I’m already over it.”

“Ew shaving cream feel gross.”

“Ow my leg can’t bend that way.”

“Wow there are a lot of bruises on my legs.”

“I must really be out of shape to be this winded.”

“I’m just gonna ignore how my gut sticks out in this pose.”

“I barely leave my room how the hell did I get bruises?”

“Rub rub rub come out little stray hairs.”

“I wonder if I can get away with shaving just one leg?”

“Jesus Christ it’s hot in here.”

“Of course I had to get dads black haired big foot gene while my brother got moms hairless blond gene.”

“I think I’d make a great guy.”

“Oh look another bruise.”

“Should I shave everything else?”

“Nah fuck dat.”

“Wow not a single cut yet!”

“Fuck I cut myself.”

“Guess I’ll bleed out now.”

“Wow l’m surprisingly pale.”

“Another bruise— is someone beating me in my sleep?!”

#shaving #shaven #legs #meme #funny #shitpost #bathroom thoughts #struggle #its almost worth it

[amytheavocado]

When I was learning how to avoid workplace injuries in high school I didn’t imagine that those injuries would include punching myself in the face while trying to cut a thicc carrot

#work stuff #work problems #workplace #carrots #i might be an idiot #meme #shitpost #funny #my jaw hurts #food

[amytheavocado]

The number one forbidden drink is banana flavoured penicillin and no one can convince me otherwise.

#funny #meme #shitpost #i used to steal my brothers medicne

[amytheavocado]

I decided to change it to something a little more tasteful <3

I changed my name on my family’s Netflix account to, “thicc bitch.” Let’s see how long it takes for someone to notice.

#shitpost #meme #funny #netflix #funny shit #she thicc #big chonk #im hot af tho

[amytheavocado]

She noticed...

Bold of her to assume I give a rats ass what others think <3

I changed my name on my family’s Netflix account to, “thicc bitch.” Let’s see how long it takes for someone to notice.

#shitpost #meme #funny #netflix #funny shit #she thicc #big chonk #im hot af tho

[amytheavocado]

I changed my name on my family’s Netflix account to, “thicc bitch.” Let’s see how long it takes for someone to notice.

#shitpost #meme #funny #netflix #funny shit #thicc bitch #lets see how long it takes #she thicc #big chonk #im hot af tho

[amytheavocado]

Yesterday I coughed at the grocery store (some spit went down my wind pipe I don’t have the sickness I promise) and I literally froze and just waited for the snipers to take my ass out

#shit post #funny #meme #ive never felt so scared

[amytheavocado]

I love Fuck the Police because no other song has the ability to reduce me to a feral state where I can just fuck shit up and deck racists in the throat.

#black lives matter #george floyd #take action #fuck the pigs #racisim #fuck the police #i am not okay with this #police brutality #police

[amytheavocado]

OOOOH FUCK YEAH my mom is making donuts!

She makes them once in a blue moon (last time I had them was around 5 years ago)

IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND

#donuts #holy shit its so good #so pumped #i love my mom #funny #quarentine

[amytheavocado]

Unpopular Opinion!

Chocolate and peanut butter is...

#funny #meme #shitpost #choclate #peanut butter #unpopular opinion #DISGUSTING #*vomits* #fight me #im not afraid of god

[amytheavocado]

My step sister trying to comfort me during a panic attack while driving: “Just calm down we’ll be home in 2 minutes.”

Me: “3 if I drive faster.”

#im stupid #i hate driving #i made a driving oops #pls help #funny #shitpost #stress #im sorry to the person i cut off #my mind was scrambled eggs

[amytheavocado]

Working at a restaurant:

Coworker: “oh shit I messed up this order, anyone want it?”

Me:

#workplace #worplace meme #restaurant #funny #shitpost #meme #spongebob meme #patrick meme #does anyone else feel like this #or am i a pig? #consume #cronch #love me some wangs and nachos