cigsterwmeat

[cigsterwmeat]

[cigsterwmeat]

It seems tumblr doesn't let me post pictures and I don't know why...

I want to make a look update but I can't...

I hate my life...

I have become a borderline alcoholic...

Would anyone care to see updates on me? Like in another blog site or something?

I am not that important so why do I even bother...

#tw alcohol #tw alchohol mention #jirai onna #landmine girl #landmine kei #landmine type #jiraiblogging #pienblr #pien kei #jiraiblr #jirai #pien #jirai girl #jirai kei #2000s emo #emo scene #emo girl #emocore #emo #scenecore #scene #girlhood #girl blogger #girlblogging #alt girl #alternative inspiration #alternative style #alt style #alternative #i'm just a girl

[cigsterwmeat]

Why can't I post? Am I too triggering?

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#literally me #girlhood

[cigsterwmeat]

I have two sides

I hate my scars

I want more

[cigsterwmeat]

Too relatable, especially if I don't find friends unu

i’ve been getting fewer and fewer notes… am i not good enough anymore? please, give me love, i’ll do anything

[cigsterwmeat]

I now have 107 people following me. Sorry for disappointing the ones who actually follow me for certain stuff...

My account is a mess.

I don't know what I want to do with this account because I think I have different kinds of followers.

Just a warning. I do tend to try new things that I haven't been able to before. I like trying out new styles and stuff like that.

My purple hair has faded quite a lot... It was so pretty at first... Now it's dark brown-ish but it still looks nice.

I want to cut my hair shorter. My boyfriend keeps laying on it.

#jirai girl #jirai kei #jirai onna #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #jirai #landmine girl #landmine kei #landmine type #emo scene #2000s emo #emo girl #emocore #emo #little vent #girl blogger #girlhood #alt girl #alternative style #alt style #alternative #i'm just a girl #hihihi #i love you #hair problems

[cigsterwmeat]

Henlo it me again (⁠ꏿ⁠﹏⁠ꏿ⁠;⁠)

Tried fake lashes for the first time. I feel like I can't live without em now (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

(btw I have huge dark eyes and I covered em with little bit pink concealer and tiiiiny ammount of liquid concelear. Plus I have a colour and blurring filter on. Not everything you see on the internet is real <3)

I've also started doing pilates at home.

I am done hating.

Today is love (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

#2000s emo #emo girl #emocore #emo #emo scene #scenecore #scene #alternative inspiration #alternative style #alt style #alternative #jirai girl #jiraiblr #jirai kei #jirai onna #jiraiblogging #jirai #landmineblr #landmine kei #landmine type #landmine girl #pienblr #pien kei #pien #self love #makeup #2000's female protagonist #2000s aesthetic #girlblogging #tumblr girls

[cigsterwmeat]

My way of selfharm is smoking.

That way my mom won't yell at me if she ever sees em.

Thank god I live alone now and my roommate doesn't care.

#jirai girl #jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #jirai #pienblr #pien kei #pien #ぴえん系 #ぴえん #地雷系 #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #地雷女 #地雷 #2000s emo #emo girl #emocore #emo #scenecore #emo scene #scene #rawr x3 #rawr xd #rawr :3 #rawring twenties #rawring 20s #mentally fucked

[cigsterwmeat]

Accidentally gave myself nicotine addiction when I bought disposable vapes (⁠*⁠・⁠～⁠・⁠*⁠)

Oh well I don't really care anymore.

I wish they sold flavours here.

#jirai girl #jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #jirai #pienblr #pien kei #pien #ぴえん系 #ぴえん #地雷系 #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #地雷女 #地雷 #landmineblr #landmine kei #landmine type #2000s emo #emo girl #emocore #emo #mentally fucked #nicotine #disposable vape #scenecore #emo scene #scene

[cigsterwmeat]

Meow (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ

Any mutuals? (⁠;⁠;⁠;⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠)

#jirai girl #jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #landmineblr #landmine kei #landmine type #jiraiblr #jiraiblogging #jirai #emo girl #emocore #emo #alt style #alternative style #alternative #alt girl #mentally fucked #mutuals #be my friend #purple #cute #curvy and cute #scenecore #emo scene #egirl #egirl aesthetic #2000s emo #kawaii #pienblr

[cigsterwmeat]

Nobody likes me when I am doing good.

My fucking face ruins everything.

#ed not ed sheeran #jirai girl #jirai kei #jirai onna #ed no sheeran #landmine girl #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #jirai #pienblr #pien kei #pien #emo girl #emo #3m0 #cw vent #just a vent #地雷系 #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #地雷女 #地雷 #ぴえん系 #ぴえん #my face ruins everything it seems #tw mental health #tw mental illness #mentally fucked #mental illness #menhera

[cigsterwmeat]

New hair, who dis?

#jirai girl #jirai kei #ed not ed sheeran #jirai onna #ed no sheeran #landmine girl #jiraiblr #jiraiblogging #jirai #pien kei #pienblr #pien #emo #emocore #emo girl #new hair #ぴえん #ぴえん系 #地雷系 #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #地雷女 #地雷系コーデ #地雷 #meow #scene #emo scene #alternative #alt girl #alternative style

[cigsterwmeat]

Men say they can handle you and be there for you until you have delusions of everyone being against you which makes you ignore everyone including your boyfriend.

Then you realise that the only way you can get the attention you want is to just pretend to be dead so you start doing it often.

#tw mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw self destruction #tw depressive #cw vent #tw mental health #landmine type #ed not ed sheeran #jirai girl #jirai kei #jirai onna #ed no sheeran #jiraiblr #jiraiblogging #jirai #landmine girl #landmineblr #landmine kei #girlhood #girlblogging #menhera #mentally fucked #mental illness #mental health #actually mentally ill #sorry for being depressing #depressing shit #pienblr #pien kei

[cigsterwmeat]

One thing is for sure,

I hate literally everyone.

But oddly, I am not sure wheter I hate or love myself.

Because I keep thinking how I am the only one who does stuff for me.

But at the same time I think I am too weak and undeserving of anything.

It's like I am in an abusive relationship with myself.

Not like I can leave and ignore myself because I am literally me.

I can't sleep.

#tw mental health #tw mental illness #mentally fucked #mental illness #delusional #tw delusion #ed not ed sheeran #jirai girl #jirai kei #jirai onna #ed no sheeran #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #jirai #landmineblr #landmine kei #landmine type #landmine girl #I love being a woman #girlhood #pienblr #pien #pien kei #ぴえん #ぴえん系 #地雷系 #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #地雷女 #地雷

[cigsterwmeat]

Nobody cares about me.

I am never anyone's number one.

I want my bf to do stuff without having to ask.

It seems I don't matter anymore.

#ed not ed sheeran #jirai girl #jirai kei #jiraiblogging #jirai onna #jiraiblr #jirai #kei #landmineblr #landmine kei #landmine type #landmine girl #pien kei #pienblr #pien #tw mental illness #cw vent #tw mental health #mentally fucked #mental illness #help me #I want to kill myself #i don't post much because i know nobody seriously cares anyways xwx #nobody #cares #no one cares #ed no sheeran

[cigsterwmeat]

idk... I've never seen another jirai blog really post abt the stuff I want to, despite the behaviours I want to talk/vent about being common amongst jirai girls

I'm terrified of either being ostracised or accused of trying to promote those things to younger people when I just want to talk and vent about them

#I don't post much because I know nobody seriously cares anyways xwx