contemporarycas

[contemporarycas]

Gnawing at flesh and bone

Metal rips at your body like it's a sin to feel

Tears pricked in your eyes, that don't dare to fall

Feral being or a scared little girl?

Venom laced tounge with pushing hands

Afraid of the men who feigne helpfulness

Afraid of your mother who calls love

Because the rumbling in your stomach begs to differ

The sting of your skin cries liar

They treat you like a dog

With their presumptions, their prescriptions, their perception

You're something to be fixed

Pet project, runt of the litter

Resigned to the shelter

Awaiting euthanization

They'll call it mercy

You don't need to be sedated to be loved

Fall into my arms like it's coming home

Even if you bark, bite and snarl

If the sickening pit in your stomach corrodes your thoughts

If your body goes weak and your hands start to tremble

I won't flinch, I won't run, I won't leave

#lesbians love a dog analogy #lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing

[contemporarycas]

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing #art #aesthetic #digital artist #digital #digital drawing #digital painting #digital art #digital illustration #queer artist #dog poetry

[contemporarycas]

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing #art #aesthetic #digital #digital artist #digital drawing #digital painting #digital art #queer artist #digital illustration #dog #dog poetry

[contemporarycas]

A lil explanation about this peice and the work that goes alongside it!

Tw below the cut for SA! If you can't read it I understand and hope you're doing well ♡

I created daisy to go alongside my paintings wildflower which can be found here

This series was my way of working through accepting my assault and coming to terms with the fact it was something I couldn't keep avoiding. This was all triggered when I started college to find out my abuser was not only on the same campus, she was across the hall from me everyday. I had to see her for the first time in two years and it brought back this wave of emotions I didn't know how to deal with.

So I did it in the only way I knew how, art. I created my paintings and this digital video that also has a physical version.

The poem was about my struggle with my abuser. I decided I wanted to focus on creating a poem around the way you can become fully reliant on somebody in a toxic relationship to the point your willing to give them your all. Despite knowing it will never be good enough. I also wanted to hint at the feeling a lot of people go through when they are mentally ill or wanting to stay sicker or be sicker. This can be amplified by a toxic partner who wants to be seen as a good person and "fix" a sick person while also making them worse than before.

I also wanted to capture the desperation in my words along with the naive way of thinking that I had at the time.

Daisies were her favourite flower, they also ironically symbolise themes like innocence. Forget me nots are a self explanatory flower, I find it bryond infuriating that I will have to live with what she did but she gets to move on and forget. Pomegranates can be used as symbolism for death and fertility, two sides of the spectrum. I found it fitting as my abuse felt like the beginning of a new me and a death of an old me.

Thankfully this series of work led to me going to therapy that was specifically for victims of assault. A copy of this poem now sits in the waiting room of the centre and I've been told that it has resonated with multiple patients.

So if you've ever struggled with anything like this I want you to know you aren't alone. It can get better x

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing #traditional art #art #aesthetic #paint #painting #acrylic paint #acrylic painting #acrylic #digital drawing #digital art #digital

[contemporarycas]

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing #art #aesthetic #digital #digital art #digital painting #queer artist #contemporary art

[contemporarycas]

I wonder if it would have been easier to stay sick

If I let my illness corrode my insides until I fel free

Because fighting hurts

I can't escape my own brain, my own thoughts, my own hands

I'm at the mercy of my masochistic actions

I'm self destructive but I would swear I'm trying

Honestly I don't know what trying looks like

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing #traditional art #art #aesthetic #paint #painting #acrylic #acrylic paint #acrylic painting #contemporary art #queer artist

[contemporarycas]

'The view from halfway down' - acrylic on various MDF boards

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing #traditional art #art #aesthetic #paint #painting #blue #mental health #acrylic paint #acrylic painting #acrylic #contemporary art #queer artist

[contemporarycas]

I showed her your cigarettes

Your perfume

Your signature cocktail

Because I crave you more than nicotine on rainy days

And I hate you more than the shakes

When I close my eyes it's like she's you

But there's no poison lacing her kiss

No harm in her hands

I showed her your texts

Your voicemails

Your flaws

And I miss you like I miss highschool

Like I miss that pit in my stomach

Like you miss your brother

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing

[contemporarycas]

Sometimes I love like my dad

It comes out like venom

Lacing words I mean with my chest

I'm loud, I'm over the top

I'm too rough for most

Too much for most

Most times I love like my mum

It's the little things I do

I'll trace circles on your back

Squeezing so tight

It's like I want to climb inside you

Spray your perfume while I'm leaving

I'll carry you with me

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing

[contemporarycas]

I hate early mornings

When I'm awake before the sun

And a coldness creeps into my bones

The train is always bumpy

But it's quiet

Faint rain hitting off the glass

It's just me and some girl

She's going to glasgow

I heard her voice through my haze

Sweet like honey as she got her ticket

I looked back to see a heart fluttering smile

A stark contrast to my own expression

I wonder how she feels about the mornings

Does she stop for coffee

Does her alarm shuffle on Spotify

Do her feet hit the floor before her mind starts to fuction

When I get off the train

And run for my bus to college

I think about her

Her early mornings

And if she loves them enough for both of us

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing

[contemporarycas]

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

There's a girl in my class

Freckled face, shaggy hair, dressed like she came from the forest

Utterly breathtaking with a personality to match

She made a puppet

It's been hung in the hallway with such love and care

Sat on a pedestal where it belongs

Sleepless nights spent meticulously working away at the small details

Selenite eyes and repurposed material

I guess she sees the beauty in scraps

Treats them with respect, with honor, with admiration

Her finger graze across the body like it's real

Delicate touches like it's her own baby

Even though we've talked in lengths about children

How we just don't feel like we have that instinct

But she cradles this puppet in cloth

A gentleness I can't understand

It's just wood, fabric, wire and glue

But she's told me the story

Over and over

How proud she was of her journey through the stars

How much she would give to just be able to hold her

How she would've clung to her and refused to let go

I found myself envious of a dead dog

I found myself wishing she'd treat me the same

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

#my best friend made a life sized puppet of laika and it made me feel gay #lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing

[contemporarycas]

Final project for college wip 🖤

Based on my personal struggles with depression and the cycle of self destructive behaviour/coping mechanisms

#lesbian #wlw #traditional art #art #paint #painting #wip #art wip #queer artist

[contemporarycas]

'In bloom' - fineliner on a5 mixed media paper

#lesbian #wlw #traditional art #art #aesthetic #pointilism #ink #fineliner #contemporary art #queer artist

[contemporarycas]

I am better than no man

My anger runs rampant through this body

Coursing in my veins like firey whiskey

My daddy should have laid off the booze

I think I was born with this fuse so short

Or maybe it was cut like a cord

I am better than no man

When my voice booms across walls

Deer in headlights looking back at me

The guilt pings in my chest but I can't mutter out a sorry

The embarrassment makes me dig in my heels

And my shoes are a few sizes to big

I'll grow into them he says

I am better than no man

I need her pressed against me like it's primal

If my teeth don't sink into flesh I fear I've become weak

I'm calloused and rough

In the darkness I'm malleable

With the warmth of her hands I crack, I crumble

But I'll leave before the sun rise

She'll reach out

Met with empty sheets where my body laid

I'm better than no man

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing #daddy issues

[contemporarycas]

'In another life we were arsonists' - acrylic on wooden panels

#lesbian #wlw #traditional art #art #aesthetic #paint #painting #boygenuis #flowers #queer artist #acrylic #acrylic paint #acrylic painting #contemporary art

[contemporarycas]

When my pleads fall on death ears I don't know how you expect me to act

When the calender runs it's course and I'm left staring at crossed off days

Am I meant to feel loved?

Am I meant to feel seen?

I cling to myself in the darkness

Listen to your breathing steady

You're blissfully unaware

Because it doesn't matter how many times

You just don't get it

#lesbian #wlw #poem #poetry #writing

[contemporarycas]

hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.