cryptidsandchamomile

[cryptidsandchamomile]

#unreality #tw unreality

[cryptidsandchamomile]

if you think the posts i make are bad you should see the thoughts i am thinking. in my mind

[cryptidsandchamomile]

Why do I always spiral when I'm at work it's so fucking exhausting

#vent

[cryptidsandchamomile]

I think I really fucked everything up completely this time

#the only thing im good at is destroying things #vent

[cryptidsandchamomile]

is anyone else just like. constantly filled with rage about their position under late capitalism and how we are expected to just keep playing this game that we know will literally kill us, is already killing people all over the world, and yet everyone around us is somehow fine with going about business as usual, with pretending we are free by being able to choose between different ways of being exploited. there is nothing more dehumanising than being forced to partake in a system that is actively detrimental to our survival as human beings, that is so physically, psychologically and spiritually destructive, and i don’t know how to deal with this anger anymore

[cryptidsandchamomile]

Taking a nose dive into burnout town and have called out of work again 😎

#burn out #actually mentally ill #mental health #I really should look into disability aid or whatever it's called cause i cant hold a full time job #but then i would definitely not be able to afford my rent anymore that has gone up significantly as well #i need to go to my home country where i dont have to worry about being homeless just cause im too mentally ill for capitalism

[cryptidsandchamomile]

I hate old age filters cause they just show me that I will never be able to outrun my parents

I will carry their likeness with me forever

#old age #aging #parents #parent mention #family mention #family problems #mother issues #father issues

[cryptidsandchamomile]

There are no direct flights back to my home country when I need them

I'm so fucking exhausted of everything always going wrong I just want a place to stay where I actually feel safe

#vent #i hate the united states

[cryptidsandchamomile]

Not to be dramatic but- *starts screaming till my throat is raw and I lose my voice*

#I hate being anxious!! #actually mentally ill #anxiety #vent #actually schizoaffective

[cryptidsandchamomile]

hey are you doing ok?

Heyy

Sorry for the late reply, I was away from social media for a bit

But yes I'm doing okay now, sorry if I made anyone worry

It's been rough lately but I think the worst is over and my symptoms have leveled out again

#ask #sorry again i didnt think i would worry anyone

[cryptidsandchamomile]

[cryptidsandchamomile]

I'm worried I got drugged and I know it didn't happen but my body feels weird and I keep thinking theyre standing outside of the apartment looking at me trying to find a sign they have me at enough of a disadvantage to get in

#actually schizoaffective #schizophrenia #schizoaffective #psychosis #delusions #tw delusion #drug mention #tw drugs #??? #i dont know tags idk hell

[cryptidsandchamomile]

I think I might be entering another big psychotic episode again just cause I got fucked over by someone.

Im so paranoid, I can't sleep and when I do I have nightmares that feel extremely real, I'm hallucinating intruders in my apartment and have to sleep with a chair blocking the main entrance

I don't know what to do

#vent #paranoia #paranoid #paranoia mention #actually psychotic #psychosis mention #psychotic episode #tw hallucinations #hallucination mention #visual hallucinations #hallucinating #schizoaffective disorder #actually schizoaffective #actually schizophrenic #tw home invasion

[cryptidsandchamomile]

I know that I'm currently dissociating and that it's getting worse but I just can't stop it from happening and I hate it

#like i need to be present and active rn!! #i know im going through it but its not the time to peace out rn #dissocation #derealization #depersonalization #dpdr #depersonalization derealization

[cryptidsandchamomile]

[cryptidsandchamomile]

It's really your closest people that will fuck you over the most huh

#vent #i am actually gonna lose my mind i think

[cryptidsandchamomile]

I'm so anxious rn i might throw up

Today I will probably get to hear if I'm able to stay in the US or if I have to move back to my home county and absolutely deplete my savings account cause of one person's actions

#its so unfair actually i dont know what to do #vent #anxiety #anxiety mention