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"Bruce loves his children to infinity but sucks at communication" gotta be one of my favourite tropes.

What Bruce means: I miss you so much it hurts, you are a great hero, and I'm really glad that you still consider me as part of your life and share your thoughts with me.

What Bruce does: hums meaningfully in response to Dick's story.

What Bruce means: I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, I still love you and want to fix our relationship, I'm incredibly grateful that you don't avoid me.

What Bruce does: nods at Jason when sees him on the patrol.

What Bruce means: I deeply care about you, you are truly important to me, I worry about your health and I don't want you to repeat my mistakes, neglecting yourself for the sake of a mission.

What Bruce does: gives Tim a snack without any explanation.

What Bruce means: I'm very proud that, despite everything you were taught, you choose to be a good person and help people, you have a kind soul, and it's an honour to me to call you my son.

What Bruce does: gives Damian an intensive head pat.

Should I say that Cassie is a blessing?

They stare at each other's soul for a solid five minutes and it's basically a full ass conversation.

#Boys definitely adopted his habits #and every time they do it they are like #oh fuck I'm just like my dad #batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #batdad #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain

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I just know they're both thinking "Am I doing this right"

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I, personally, don't ship Lois Lane and Bruce Wayne, instead I think that idea of them being bestie is superior. I feel like they have a lot in common, even too much to get along without constant fights. You know, this type of friendship when one says "that shit is unhealthy" and the other says "UNO reverse card, bitch".

I also like to think that they have exactly the same type, so they would literally sword fight each other for Superman/Selina Kyle. "I saw this hot person first!" "But I flirt with this hot person first". My beloved.

#I just randomly thought about them #now I have my own small universe with them being bestie #what the actual fuck #batman #bruce wayne #lois lane

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Bruce: don't do this, it's stupid and dangerous.

Batkids: but... You did this.

Bruce, without missing a bit: your father is an idiot, do not do this.

#Bruce upbringing methods in a nutshell #been there done that #batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #batdad

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Dick and Jason mutually agreed that if one of them calls Bruce "dad", the other does not say a word. 

Some criminal, which they caught: nice toys, kid.

Robin!Jason aka ray of sunshine: thanks. My dad made them for me.

Dick, trying to hold a laugh because it's cute: pff.

Jason: ?

Some criminal, confused: dad?

Jason, realizing what he just said and quickly turning red: Batman! I mean Batman! Batman made them for me!

Dick, already planning to blackmail him: aha, whatever you say, shorty.

On the same patrol.

Nightwing, doing something incredibly stupid: hah, dad's gonna soooo mad.

Jason "it's my turn, bitch" Todd: did you just call him dad?

Dick "stubborn ass" Grayson: no, I didn't.

Jason: yes, you did.

Dick: no, I did not!

Jason: yes. You. Did!

Dick, realizing that he lost: ...we won't mention it ever again.

Jason: deal.

#Bruce with his weird senses in the another part of Gotham: my children called me dad #true story #batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #batdad

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Thinking about batboys doing average father-son activities with Bruce.

Dick and Bruce go shopping. Alfred did, does and, probably, will do it until the end of time, but since Dick lives in Blüdhaven he prefers to do it by himself. Sometimes Bruce offers help, sometimes Dick accepts it. At such moments, Dick lets Bruce pay and completely enjoys his nepo baby life. Bruce still doesn't know the value of money and can't estimate the cost of groceries, Dick still likes being wheeled around on a cart. He barely fits in there and the rest of the customers look at them weirdly, but Bruce has been used to close attention and has never been able to turn Dick down. They recklessly rush through the departments while new articles about the eccentric Brucie appear in the newspapers, then both get scolded by Alfred for buying all sorts of useless junk.

Jason and Bruce read together. Wayne's library is one of a few places in the mansion where Jason appears regularly and willingly. They don't even talk, just sit in one room, mostly in silence, punctuated by snorting or brief comments. Bruce has a lot of books he planned to read but always put off, so he uses this time to good advantage. Jason acknowledges his existence with a slight nod and on good days sits closer, almost enough to be in Bruce's space. Jason often rereads books, writes notes on transparent stickers that Alfred gave him and chews a pencil, thinking. Sometimes Bruce finds books on the table in his office, the same transparent sticker invariably says "You would like it" with a postscript in smaller letters at the bottom "or not, I don't care". Bruce always smiles softly, adding it to the top of his list.

Tim and Bruce go to the skate park. They both wear sunglasses and casual clothes, but those few parents who come with children still whisper to each other. For the first few times it's kind of awkward, Bruce is unsure what to do and Tim isn't used to attention from his parents, but they cope. Bruce ruffles Tim's hair, enjoying the way his eyes light up, and tries his best not to jump up every time Tim falls. He wears a protective gear set, Bruce insisted, and they both know that Red Robin has been through the worst, but Bruce has little control over the mother hen regime. In the evening, coming home, they buy ice cream and coffee for the night extracurricular activities, and if Tim pretends to be asleep while Bruce carries him out of the car, no one mentions it.

Damian and Bruce go to the cinema. Damian isn't used to pop-culture, and Dick is convinced that this tragedy should be solved. Damian says it's a senseless waste of time and he has more significant stuff to do, but always looks forward to these days. It's mostly cartoons, ideally with animals in the main roles. Damian loves cartoons, and he is less ashamed of admitting it when Bruce says he loves them too. They eat something that Alfred would disapprove of, stay for a short time after the credits and constantly walk home by foot. Damian doesn't ask for uppies, he would never, Bruce picks him up and puts him on his shoulders anyway. Damian likes to be on high, for Bruce it's not even a workout, just a warm-up weight and he tries not to think bitterly that he isn't able to do this with his other children anymore. Sometimes they talk quietly, sometimes just enjoy each other's company. Sometimes Damian falls asleep, knowing perfectly well his father won't let him fall, and Bruce holds him tightly to not let him down.

It's weirdly cozy for their life, almost normal. It's not better, they would choose vigilante life anyway, they already did, but it's nice to feel from time to time. They appreciate it, even if they don't say it out loud.

#Soft boys my soft boys #toothruting fluff #because this fandom is allergic to happiness #batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #batdad

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Bruce hates when Jason says something like "you are not my real father" because a) it does hurt b) when Alfred tries to comfort him, he reminds Bruce about the times he said the same thing to Alfred himself but didn't mean it, and Bruce wants to sink into the ground.

#batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #batdad

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There was a storm outside and the rain was pounding furiously on the windows of the mansion. Alfred was making hot tea in the kitchen, humming something under his breath, while they were playing Scrabble. Well, not really playing, rather Dick was trying to turn the table over because "who the hell uses onomatopoeia in their vocabulary?!" and Jason was openly mocking him because "you would know if you read something other than instruction for air freshener". Soon, the board game turned into a tongue-pointing competition and disguised middle finger pointing.

Bruce was smiling softly at their childish bickering, when suddenly realized that for the first time in many years he wasn't armed. Because he didn't want to be. Because there was no one to defend against.

#And then Jason dies and Bruce wears his armour 24/7 #sorry #batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #batdad #alfred pennyworth

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The only reason Bruce behaved normally at the gala, when he was a kid, was because he didn't want the press to pounce on "Alfred's improper upbringing" or, God forbid, his dead "disappointed parents".

#If you wanna trigger him just say that he let his parents down #or make a derogatory comment about Alfred #Bruce will punch you in the face #batman #bruce wayne

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I love menace-to-society kid!Bruce too much to not reblog it

I'm golden-child!Jason and not-even-a-silver-egg!Dick truther for life, and that's so funny.

Bruce is used to the chaos he calls his son, so when Jason actually behave, Bruce is soooo confused.

Like, what do you mean Bruce can tell him to not do something and Jason will??? Obey??? The order??? Dick would never.

Bruce, fully prepared for scandal: You are not allowed to jump from one wardrobe to another, it's dangerous for you.

Little Jason, who has no idea why he should: Ok? I wasn't planning to anyway.

Confused Bruce: You wasn't?

Little Jason who are scared to touch anything here, because it probably costs more than his life: I don't want to ruin the mansion...

More Confused Bruce: You don't?!

Or 

Bruce: so, you are saying that if I tell you to sit in your room and read books, you will really sit in your room and read books?

Little Jason, who has no idea why he shouldn't: Yeah?

Bruce, whispering to Alfred: I didn't know they could do that.

#he wasn't better than Dick #Alfred says it's karma

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Bruce, Dick and Damian are Mama's boys, Jason and Tim are Papa's boys. I don't make the rules.

#Cass is Papa's girl too #maybe not biblically accurate #but I feel the vibes #batman #batfam #batfamily

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I have a headcanon that Bruce used to be terrified of guns (because when your parents are shot in front of you at an extremely early age, it's a tiny little bit traumatic). And it took him a long time to go from a complete panic attack to barely noticeable flinching due to the shots next to him. He could hide it really well tho, with the amount of kidnapping he dealt with, he had to, but internally he was losing his shit every single time.

Yet, Bruce was always the first to volunteered to be hostage at the gala and stood resolutely at gunpoint, protecting others. Not because he wasn't scared, but because he truly believed, still does, that these people, even the most unpleasant ones, had a family that would mourn them, and if someone had to die, it should be him.

#today is Bruce's headcanons day #enjoy #i think about this man too much #batman #bruce wayne #hc

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Tim & Damian: *do the siblings bounding aka fights with their feet while minding their own business*

Bruce, randomly entering the room: Did you two do the thing I told you to do?

Tim, having no idea what they needed to do: pff, obviously.

Damian, also having no idea what they needed to do: we wouldn't let you down, father.

Bruce: good.

Bruce: *stands like a dad in complete silence for a while and then leaves them panicking about the task they forgot about*

Literally in the next room.

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: why don't you ever clarify their task?

Jason, suspiciously peacefully reading in the corner: yeah, just remind them what they need to do.

Bruce, with his fucked up sense of humour: Oh, they didn't have any task, I'm just messing with them.

Dick, having flashbacks of how he and Jason were losing their shit every single time, trying to remember what they need to do: that's... Pure evil...

Jason, remembering that one time he almost cried because he thought he was a failure and Bruce was going to disown him: YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

#Bruce thinks he is hilarious #the children do NOT agree #Alfred scoffed tho #batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #batdad

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#I love Bruce and his relationship with literally anybody #if you don't get it #stony are surrounded but unbroken ahah #batfamily #batman #batfam #stony #stevetony

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How dare you make me sad? How dare you? It was a funny haha post, and now I'm unironically thinking about it. Should write something about it, fuck.

I really love the concept of Bruce calling his grown ass children babies, but let me introduce to you:

Alfred Pennyworth who looks at his huge, ripped middle-aged adopted son, wearing heavy, Kevlar armour, who looks like a giant bat and has been fighting criminals for about twenty years in one of the most dangerous cities, and thinks "baby".

#I don't mean that in aggressive way btw #I like it #it's a great detail #wanted to write something about them #gave me some inspiration

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I really love the concept of Bruce calling his grown ass children babies, but let me introduce to you:

Alfred Pennyworth who looks at his huge, ripped middle-aged adopted son, wearing heavy, Kevlar armour, who looks like a giant bat and has been fighting criminals for about twenty years in one of the most dangerous cities, and thinks "baby".

#Alfred looking at Jason: like father like son #because they used to be smol #and now they are built like a fucking tank #still babies tho #batman #batfam #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #batfamily

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#batman #batfamily #batfam